#choi soobin angst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hyukalyptus · 7 months ago

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i need to tell you—idol!soobin x gn!reader | besties pining after each other, right person/wrong time, angst.

cw. angst, suggestive but not smutty, kissing, swearing, i think its a gn!reader? pls lmk if it's not and i'll fix it, reader is from LA and is a performer, reader had feelings while in a relationship but never cheated, mentions of a breakup, kinda implied it was a shitty relationship, lmk if there's anything else. notes. please lmk if there's anything that isn't gn! wc. 2.8K

I never thought this last night with you would happen—I’d known for months you’d be going on a three-month long tour soon, but I didn’t want to believe it. You’d fly in from LA, we’d hang out, play video games, and hide our feelings from each other. Then you’d go back to California, we’d text and call as much as we could, you’d come back, and it would all start over.

But not seeing my best friend for three months, if not longer, sounds terrible. I take all of you in—your chin resting on your knees that are pulled to your chest, the city lights flickering across your face, the shape of your nose, you look stunning as ever. Your lips are squished by your knee pressing up on your chin and god, I wanna kiss you so fucking bad.

There’s nothing better than being on tour, but part of me wants you here with me forever.

But I can’t tell you any of this. Our feelings are undeniable but they need to stay a secret. You’re in a relationship—albeit a dead relationship, but a relationship nonetheless. More importantly, though, you’ll be leaving for three months tomorrow morning. We can’t start something now.

Or maybe it’s the perfect time to start something. It would be the perfect way to say goodbye. Then again, I don’t wanna add stress to your already stressful tour. You get anxious so easily. Maybe it won’t be that long.

“When do you think you’ll be back in Seoul?”

You blink out of your thoughts and say, “My last show is in Seoul actually, so…late October, early November.” I nod, taking another sip of my soju. “I don’t know how long I’ll stay though.” You shrug, leaning back on your hands. Turning away from me, you say, “I’m gonna miss you.”

Looking over at you, please just look me in the eyes. I want to see your beautiful eyes as much as I can before you leave. I wanna see you look at me the way you do before you say goodbye—a glint of hope and longing. I need to tell you—

“I’m gonna miss you too.” That’ll have to do for now. Surely I’m being overly dramatic about all this. I don’t know. You look at me, but glance down as soon as our gazes meet.

“You’ve become, like, my best friend out here.”

Another reason why I can’t tell you my feelings. I can’t…I can’t do that to you. You need a friend out here. And if you don’t feel the same way about me—even if I think you do—you’d never talk to me again. And then you’d have no one out here.

“You’re one of my best friends too,” I add.

“Ah,” you scoff. “I got hit with the ‘one of’.” I chuckle with you, running my fingers through my hair as you stand to your feet. “I think I should go.”

No. You can’t. I need to tell you—

Standing up to join you, I’m only a few inches from you. I reach for your hand, but you pull it away to adjust your jacket sleeve.

“Are you sure you wanna go?”

“On my tour?” Your eyes finally meet mine, like are you crazy? And yeah, I kinda am. “Yeah, I think I should go still,” you chuckle.

“No, I mean,” I start. “Are you sure you wanna leave right now?”

“Oh.” You sigh, looking down at the cars driving down the street, watching the train that we spent hours on go by, watching the lights of the agency building flash. “I need to.” But you don’t want to. “My flight leaves in six hours and I haven’t even started packing.”

“Let me drive you to your hotel?” Please.

Reluctantly agreeing, we drive in a devastating silence, like we both have the same thing on our minds. And that we both know we have the same thing on our minds.

Arriving at your hotel, I pull up to the drop-off driveway and you start to hop out. No. Don’t go yet. I need to tell you—

“Why don’t you park and walk me upstairs?”

I have no idea where this is going, all I know is I’m walking next to you down this hallway with my hands shoved in my pockets while your arms are crossed. Standing in the doorway, you lean back against the door, fiddling with your thumbs, refusing to look at me or open the door.

Working up the courage, you look up and say, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?” I nod before we say our final goodbyes. The door shuts behind you slowly. No. Not yet. I need to tell you—

Walking away defeated, I hear a door behind me open, but I keep my eyes on the ground. A quiet “Soobin?” comes from behind me. I turn, welcomed by you pulling me into a hug. Your arms wrap around my neck and mine around your waist for what feels like forever. But it’s not enough. No. Don’t pull away yet. I need to tell you—

Looking in my eyes, you bite your lips as you shift your weight. I can't help but think you’re about to say exactly what I want to hear right now. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”

Letting out a soft laugh, I smile and say, “No worries.” You wave at me and turn back toward the door before I say your name. Turning back, you wait for me to say something while your hand rests on the handle. Please. Don’t go yet. I need to tell you— “I, uh…” I need to tell you. But I can’t. “Good luck.”

“One more hug?” Oh, thank god. I nod, managing to keep my excitement from being too obvious. Your arms wrap around my shoulders again while mine fall around your waist, you face digging into my neck. I breathe you in, wishing I could just kiss you already. Pulling apart, you don’t move your arms away. You look in my eyes like you want to say something more. But you don’t know what. Or if you should. “You know,” you start. “I, uh…I wouldn’t be mad if…”

“If…?”

“Are you gonna kiss me or am I gonna have to—“

That’s all I need. My lips crash into yours. It’s slow. And sweet. Your lips are soft, made kissable by that chapstick you’re always making me carry in my pocket. My hand is on your cheek as you smile against my lips and I lean into the kiss to deepen it. Breaking the kiss, you laugh out loud, your head falling back before you look up at me again. You’re so close to me.

“For fuck’s sake—I’ve been trying to get you to kiss me all night,” you say.

“What! No you haven’t.”

“We’ll, maybe I’m not the best at sending signals…” My lips find yours again, but only briefly. “Spend the night?” My eyebrows raise. I don’t know if I should—starting something like that right now is a little risky. And it would make saying goodbye that much harder.

“Don’t you have to leave for the airport in, like, four hours?”

“Eh,” you shrug. “Yeah, I guess so, but I’d like it if you stayed.” You smile— “We don’t have to, like, do anything. I just wanna…” you take a deep breath, “spend more time with you. Wanna say goodbye in the morning, not right now, you know?”

I let go of her, backing away. “I dunno if I should…”

“Oh.” You drop your arms to your sides. “Okay. Yeah.” Crossing your arms, you nod softly and bite the inside of your cheek.

“I want to but,” I sigh. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea tonight.”

“I-I just meant hang out,” you shrug. “I’m gonna be packing most of the time anyway. I mean, you definitely don’t have to,” you say. “Just thought you might want to.”

I keep repeating to myself you’re in a relationship. You’re in a relationship. You’re in a relationship. We already kissed—what’s the harm in spending the night without sleeping together? No. I don’t want us to start like this.

“I think I should go,” I say, saying our final awkward goodbyes. I’m walking away, but I know you’re still standing there, leaning up against the doorframe. Hope is trying to bubble up as I wait for you to call out my name again. But I’ve told you no. So I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I would do the same. Although I just wish—

“I broke up with them.”

“What?” I turn to face you, chewing on your thumbnail as you slowly smile at me before giving me a nod. That’s it.

Rushing back to you, I hold your face in my hand before kissing you again. We breathe each other in, arms wrapped around each other.

“Are you being serious?” I ask you through my deep breaths. Biting your lip, you nod with a smirk. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I dunno, I’m sorry,” you start. “I guess I just—I guess I was embarrassed that it took so long,” she says. “And I didn’t want you to think I broke up with them for you. I broke up with them—”

“For you,” I say. You look up at me, mumbling a soft yeah before I say, “It’s okay,” I chuckle, peppering your face and neck with kisses while you giggle and scrunch your shoulders. “God, I’ve been wanting– to tell you–“ I say in between kisses. “For so long– that I have the biggest– crush on you.”

“I know you do,” you laugh. “I have the biggest crush on you too.”

“Seriously?” You nod and I don’t let up with the peppering of your face with my lips.

“Okay, okay—“ you say. “Lemme get the door open.” Laughing, you reach in your back pocket for the key, waiting for the buzz and the green light. As we stumble through, we kiss again, both of us in each other’s trance. The room’s spinning, I feel like I’m floating. Our hands roam everywhere. Mine settle on your backside to squeeze while you hum against my lips. Fuck.

“You know,” I say in between kisses. “I know you said we didn’t have to do anything but I wouldn’t mind—“

“Oh yeah, we’re definitely having sex tonight.”

“Okay, good,” I laugh, picking you up by your waist to walk you to the bed. Sitting down, you straddle my waist—always smiling, giggling, being sweet. “You sure?”

“Ah, you’re so sweet,” you say, holding my face in your hands. “Here is me giving consent, yeah?” I nod. “Soobin, yes, I want you to fuck me.” Smiling into a kiss, you break it before saying, “Your turn.”

I say your name confidently, swiping a thumb across the apple of your cheek. “Yes, I wanna fuck you.”

“Oh shit,” you say, your expression drops. “This is really happening.” My eyebrows stitch together; do you not want to— “I mean, you’re really here,” you say, looking over my face, squishing my cheeks to make my lips pucker. “You’re like…real.”

“Are you okay?” I ask through my pouty lips. Groaning, you lift off me to plop down on your back, rubbing your forehead with your fingertips.

“Fuck, I dunno.”

“Um,” I start, resting my hand on your thigh. “It’s okay. We don’t have to,” I say, watching for your reaction. Even if you do want to, there's a voice in the back of my head screaming at me Don’t do this! It’s not the right time! But there’s another part screaming Remember how long you’ve wanted to be with her!? You sit up, sitting criss-cross while you fiddle with the hem of your jeans.

Looking up, you look into my eyes, trying your hardest to put together the words you want to say but don't know how. But I know what you mean. “Soobin…I’m so sorry.”

Shaking my head, I say, “No, no it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I just don’t think right now is a great time to…y’know, start something like this.” Well, at least it sounds like it would’ve started something, not just end with us having sex. “I just think,” you start, reaching to run your fingers through my hair. “It would make saying goodbye harder.”

It would be the perfect way to say goodbye too though, no?

“Yeah, you’re right.” I smile. And you are. I can’t imagine how shitty it would be tomorrow morning waking up next to you knowing I can’t see you for three months. Or even worse—you’ve already left and didn’t wake me up to say goodbye. “Let’s not—”

“I do want to though,” you sigh. “Just not right now,” you say, biting your cheek while playing with the bedsheets. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, get your hopes up, I dunno.”

“Hey, listen,” I say, reaching for your hands. “I was happy when you came out of your room to give me a hug but kissing you…” I hold your face in my hands. “That was—do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?” You shake your head. “I honestly couldn’t tell you either. I don’t remember a time before wanting to kiss you.” Tilting your head, you smile up at me shyly. “But we shouldn’t do anything unless both of us are ready, okay?”

Nodding, you say, “Yeah, okay.”

“You want me to stay?”

“Yes please,” you say. “If you’re comfortable with that?”

“I’ll tell you what…I’ll stay if you let me kiss you again,” I say. “If not…well, then I’ll still stay but you’ll be left kissless.”

“I can’t be left kissless, can I?” You joke, wrapping your arms around your shoulders, pulling me closer. Our lips meet again and it’s just as nice as the first time around. You’re so…perfect is the only way I know how to describe you. We’re trying, trying to tell each other what we want to say. And I think we can both hear it. But not saying it out loud is a pain I don’t know if I can bear. I can feel you start to pull apart, but I can’t yet. This can’t end.

We hesitantly pull apart and you look at me, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You’re absolutely fine. I promise.” But I know you’re not apologizing for not sleeping with me. You know you wouldn’t need to apologize for that. I know what you’re truly sorry for. And I’m sorry for it too.

Tears start to pool in your eyes. Everything is a bit…much for you right now. You know you’re hurting me, you know you’re hurting yourself, but there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s simply not the right time. You need to focus on work and you need a friend while you’re gone. You don’t need to be dealing with a brand new relationship. I get it. I’m in the same boat as you are.

“Hey…” I hold your face with one hand. “Dance with me?”

Sniffling, you nod while I let go to turn music on my phone. A song I know you love—Unforgettable by Nat King Cole.

“Ugh,” you say, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “You’re too sweet.” Wrapping around each other, this is the closest we’ve ever been. Your arms are around my waist as you cuddle into me, mine are around your shoulders, one of my hands on the back of your head. Your sniffles rattle me inside and out. Our hearts beat against each other as we sway, your cheek against my chest as I place gentle kisses to your forehead.

This song is saying everything we want to but can’t. Except for that one thing. Those three words that are being repeated in our heads over and over. We both want to, need to say it, but we can’t. Now’s not the right time.

Right now, though, this is perfect. You in my arms, moving to the music with me. And it all feels right, despite that one thing that’s missing. Our lips pull at each other like magnets until they’re pressed together gently and softly. I graze my thumb over your tear-stained cheek and you smile subtly against my lips. Your sniffles are dying down, but they’re still there. They’re still breaking my heart.

Breaking the kiss, you look up at me and your lips part to say something—I know exactly what you want to say, but I shake my head. This isn't the right time. Closing your mouth, you keep looking at me, taking deep breaths before laying on my chest again.

Your sniffles start to pick up again—more sporadic, uneven. A tear falls onto my neck and—god, I don’t know if I can handle this.

“I do though.”

Your voice is strained and devastating. I absolutely hate hearing you like this. I can’t even bring myself to try to look at your face. My heart’s already broken. But seeing your face right now…it’d shatter it into a million pieces and would never be mendable.

“I know,” I say, kissing your temple. “I do too.”

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jjunberry · 10 months ago

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txt! as chase atlantic songs

pairing! txt x reader

genre! angst, slight smut

warnings! toxic relationships

synopsis! songs by chase atlantic i think txt would be

wc! 600

soobin as slow down

“you’re buried in the pillow, yeah, you're so loud”

you were soobin’s dirty little secret. he met you after a show and once he had you, he was hooked. he was laid on the bed and his eyes trailed your form. “come here babe.” he said his voice deep. you crawled up the bed and sat on his lap. his hands gripped your hips, giving them a squeeze. “gonna let me fuck you?” you nodded. “you gotta keep quiet baby.” he said before flipping you onto your stomach. soobin was quick to push your panties the side. using your wetness he coated his dick and slipped in. you moaned out at the feeling. soobin grunted and pushed your face down into the pillow. “be quiet or i’ll cum and send you home needy.”

yeonjun as right here

“i’m right here, here. oh, baby take a look around, i’m the only one that hasn't walked out.”

yeonjun hated your friends. he only ever wanted your attention on him. he slowly drove them out. one by one they fell off cutting contact with you. “i just don’t understand why they go out without me.” you ranted doing your skin care. “come to bed baby, forget them.” he said. you ignored his words continuing your rant. “baby.” yeonjun snapped his voice stern. “i do not care about your fucking friends. now come to bed.” you nodded and abandoned your skin care. yeonjun pulled you against his chest. “i’m the only one here for you, forget them.” he kissed your head.

beomgyu as you too

“if you love it, then you cut the thing loose.”

it was a repeating toxic cycle. fighting, breaking up, getting back together. fucking roughly to bury the reason you faught again. you were tired but you just loved him. you’d forgive anything he did. “y/n we need to talk.” beomgyu said. here we go. another fight. “what now beomgyu?” he leaned against the door frame and watched you change into sleep clothes. “i’m done, i have my bags packed. i can’t keep doing this. it’s exhausting.” you sighed and looked at him. “very funny beomgyu just come to bed.” he ignored your words and walked over kissing you deeply. “goodbye baby.” he turned to leave. “if you leave don’t fucking bother coming back.” he just sighed and walked out.

taehyun as the walls

“honestly she needs a little loving. fuck it, now i’m getting off the subject, yeah, yeah.”

you were lonely. always by yourself. against the wall at parties, in the back of the room. he always spotted you though. there was something about you taehyun couldn’t shake. you needed something or someone. that someone being him. it didn’t take long for you to fall into bed with him. taehyun filled that void and satisfied that need and want within you. he had his hand wrapped around your throat as he thrusted into you roughly. he stilled cumming in you. when he cleaned himself up he left and rejoined the party. you never felt so full yet so alone.

hueningkai as heaven and back

“all in one night. she just went to heaven and back.”

you always wanted him. he just wanted something quick. kai took you out that night. all over the town. different clubs, different parties. you felt so high. kai took you by the hand and lead you do a dingy bathroom. his hand slipped into your pants. your eyes rolled back. before you knew it kai was taking you against the bathroom stall. you felt like you were in heaven. you could feel your orgasm approaching but it was cut short when kai finished and pulled out. he tucked himself away and left the stall. your heart sunk to your feet. it all came crashing down watching him leave you.

author’s note! i got a little carried away with this one…. these are some of my favorite chase atlantic songs soooooooooo it was only fitting i went a little crazy writing this.

tag list! @jjunieworld @304files

love, echo ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪

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headlinerkwan · 5 months ago

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paths - c.sb

pairing: soobin x gn!reader

genre: nonidol!au, exes to ???, firstlove!soobin, angst, some fluff

summary: as you prepare to move back to your hometown, you discover a stack of unsent letters, causing you to reminisce on your first love and break up.

warnings: mentions of death (reader's dad passes away before events in the fic, mentioned but no detail.), some swearing, lots of lowkey pining ._.

wc: 2.5k

a/n: this fic was kind of inspired by 'paths' by niki, and the rest of her new album 'buzz' - go check it out!! requests and my general taglist is now open ･ᴗ･ lmk if you like the fic and reblog if you want, it helps writers out a lot ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა♡

“Mom, I promise there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure? I can drive up and help.”

“Yes, I’m all packed up, everything’s fine Mom, this isn’t my first time moving and there’s no way I’m letting you drive seven hours across the country,” You continue as she rants on about the overwhelming piles of paperwork and mess around the house, “I’ll be there to sort everything out soon, so don’t worry about that just… try to relax.”

“I’ll text you when I’m on the road, ok? I love you Mom!”

“I love you too, I’ll see you soon, yes?”

“Of course.”

You throw the phone down on the bed, your childhood hits playlist muffled by the ocean of blankets that it landed amongst. Looking around your room, an exasperated ‘fuck’ escapes your lips. Despite what you had just told your mother, your room was most definitely not packed up and you were most definitely not ready to leave behind the life that you had built just to return to your hometown.

After your Dad’s death, you had decided to move back into your childhood home, to keep your Mom company, settle down, and have a quieter life. You’ve had your fair amount of fun in the city and you were ready to return to your roots.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

A few hours later, there’s only one set of drawers left for you to pack up. You’re a sweaty mess as the sun beats down on you through the windows. Pulling your hair back, you position yourself in front of the drawers alongside some boxes, bubble wrap and packing tape.

Opening the bottom drawer you are welcomed by a pile of clothes that had been messily shoved in over the years. Okay not too much work left. Picking up a purple hoodie, a pile of envelopes reveal themselves, all of them addressed to the same person.

Choi Soobin.

Against your better judgement, you give in to your nostalgic curiosity and begin to unseal the first envelope. As far as everyone else knows, you hadn’t thought about Soobin in a couple of years - you had curated a nonchalant persona, one that didn’t care about the past and especially not the people that you had left behind. This, of course, was nothing but a persona, a facade that you had delicately crafted over the years. If you stopped lying to yourself, you would realise that he’s always on your mind. Breadcrumbs of your love littered through every street that you walk, every corner you turn, there’s always a part of you that longs for him. He lives in a part of your brain meant only for youth, for easier times. Everytime you see something bunny themed, or hear a Day6 song on the radio, you have to fight against every nerve in your body not to text or call him. So yes, it might seem like you don’t really care but oh my god, you’re not sure you’ve ever been so hung up over the past in the same way that you are when it comes to him.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Letter One:

‘Soobin,

Hi. It’s been a while. One month and 24 days, to be exact.

I hope you’re okay. I’m sorry if this is weird. Is this weird? Oh god, this is probably weird.

It’s just, we promised to give each other space and time but I can’t seem to let you go. Every second of every day all I want to do is pick up the phone and call you. You’re the only one I wanted to talk to after my first day at this new job, and when I moved in and I couldn’t figure out the stove, and when I found a new cafe nearby.

Maybe I should’ve stayed. Maybe I should’ve told you to stop talking about the opportunities and convince me to stay with you instead. It’s hard to be happy without you by my side, I miss you and I feel selfish saying it.

We said it was for the best and besides, I was the one who moved away, I was the one who broke your heart. Am I allowed to miss you?

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I probably won't even send it.

Bye Soobin.‘

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Reading the letter, you chuckle as your eyes cloud with tears. You recall how you thought you’d never be happy again. That it was a bad idea for you to have lived outside of the bubble of your hometown. How naive you were, believing the world began and ended with him. You smile through the slow tearing tears as you put the letter down in favor of another and reminisce on the love that you feel felt for him.

Your thumb brushes over the water marked envelope, still bearing the scars of tears cried long ago.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Letter Two:

‘Soobin,

How are you?

Dad told me that he had ran into you at the grocery store last week. He said you got taller but I’m not sure that’s possible. Dad said you look well too, I’m glad, I hope it’s true. I hope you’re okay. It kills me not knowing how your day was, if you’re in a bad mood, if you’re sick, if you’re hanging out with Beomgyu or staying home to watch the new ‘Jujutsu Kaisen’.

Not knowing is killing me.

It’s okay here, I’ve made a few friends at work and the city is nice, it’s new and lonely but I have hope that it will get easier with time. If it doesn’t though, and I come back home, I wonder if you’d be there with open arms and a wide grin like you always used to. Would you?

Sometimes I catch myself hoping for failure just so that I can come back to you and I have to remind myself of all of the work that I did just to get here. I remind myself too about how you’ve put me out of your mind… even if you haven’t - can we pretend that you’ve forgotten about us? I think it’ll be easier that way. ‘

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Letter Three:

‘Hi, It’s me again.

It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. It’s summer now, my first one without you. I’ve been trying my best not to think about that too much, I’m trying to enjoy the weather instead. It’s not easy though, the other day my friend and I got ice cream and it tasted just like the one that we had on our first date.

I’ve been replaying that night in my head a lot recently. I think about running from building to building, seeking shelter from the rain, I think about your laugh and my hand in yours. I think about how your eyes followed the fish in the aquarium with such childlike wonder. I try to remember what we talked about but I can’t. I remember smiling until my cheeks hurt though, I remember the harmony of our laughter, I remember how every touch was electric - like lightning in rain. I remember how happy I was whenever you were with me.

I’ll try to enjoy this summer as much as that one, even without you, I’ve decided to smile again.‘

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Pulling yourself together, you decide to refocus on the task in front of you, packing up your belongings in preparation for your move across the country in… less than twelve hours - great. The first item on your to-do list is food, you need to refuel (and stock up on packing tape). You decide to pick up some takeout from the Thai restaurant a couple of streets away from your apartment. The walk will be good for you, it’ll give you some space to think and maybe even soothe your puffy face.

As you walk around the city that has come to define your early twenties, mixed emotions begin to brew within you. Of course you’re sad to leave and nervous to return to your hometown, anxious about reuniting with the ghosts of your childhood. But, at the same time, you were excited to return to the place that knew you just as much as you knew it, to be back in an environment that was filled with your most cherished moments, a place full of youth and inspiration and hope. It will be good for you, even if it means the end of your chapter in the city or facing the skeletons that you had been ignoring since you’d ran away.

As you turn the corner, you spot a couple walking ahead of you, they’re walking in stride, hands interlocked and swinging rhythmically between them as they exchange laughter and whispers.

Your heart hurts as you watch them, struggling not to be reminded of Soobin. Images of your love flooding your brain - all those days in the sun and nights under the stars, His hands warming yours on winter mornings, hours spent doing nothing but enjoying each other's company. Every sweet smile and gentle kiss.

You must be sick or something, you can’t even pick up takeout without drowning in love and longing for a man you haven’t seen since you left.

Returning to your apartment, you sit on the floor of what used to be your living room, you unpack your khao pad and finally begin to eat. As you make your way through the dish, the TV fails to drown out your thoughts and you cave, deciding to read another one of your letters, curious about your own ramblings. Besides, one more couldn’t hurt… right?

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Letter Four:

‘Soobin,

I’m sure you don’t want to hear from me, I just need to be selfish today. I need someone to talk to and it has to be you. It has to be you because you’re the only one who ever really listened when I needed it and maybe one day, when I send these letters, you’ll be able to understand why.

The doctors say that my Dad is ill and I’m not sure what to do. I feel paralyzed. I don’t want to lose him and I feel so guilty because I can’t bring myself to see him that way. I want to keep the image of him as my Dad, not an ill and weak man, you know? I know he doesn’t want me to see him like that either but I feel so incredibly bad about it. I don’t know what to do, I feel helpless.

I wish that you were here with me. If you were I know you’d tell me to be an adult and face it even if it’s painful but, I can’t. I can’t do it, I’m too much of a coward. I wish that you were here to hold me like you used to and wipe my tears but, you’re not and that’s okay. I have to do this alone, however hard it may be.

I hope that on the day when our paths cross again we’ll both be okay, better than we are now. And, I hope we can laugh like we used to, like no time has passed.’

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Hours later, you find yourself still sat on the floor, surrounded by opened letters that you had penned long ago. You look down to find there is only one left - the last one. You might as well open it, you’ve come this far.

Letter Thirteen:

‘I dreamt about you again last night.

I wish you’d leave me alone. I can’t even escape you in my sleep. I wish I could forget you but you’re stuck in my mind like gum on a shoe and I’m not sure how much more I can take.

I hate you. I hate you for letting me leave even though neither of us wanted it to happen. I hate you for lying to me and saying it would be okay when it’s really not, not when I’m without you. I hate that even after leaving, I can’t escape you. I hate that you taught me so much, that everytime I’m reminded of you, you don’t feel so far away. I hate you for telling me that I was a bird, meant to fly, and that you were my birdcage - turns out I’m more of a parakeet than a starling.

I hate you for being right and wrong at the same time. I hate your dumb smile and the way that you push your hair back. I hate your voice and the sparkle in your eyes. But, most of all, I hate how much I miss you, I hate that I still love you and that no one could ever compare to you.

I hate you, Choi Soobin.’

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

As you shove the final letter back into its envelope through tears and stifled breaths, you find yourself left entirely drained. You check the time and realise that you only have eight hours before you begin your journey back home. You gather up the scattered envelopes and throw them messily into a box alongside the last of your clothes, sealing the box with whatever scraps of packing tape that you have left.

Flopping down onto your mattress, an exhausted sigh escapes your mouth and your eyes grow heavier as you curl up under your blanket.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

“I’ll be back later, text me if you need anything whilst I’m out. Love you!”

“Love you too! Bye!” you call out to your Mom as she shuts the front door.

It has been a week since you have moved back into your childhood home and, to say you were still in the process of getting situated was an understatement. In reality, you were still drowning in moving boxes but, with a spontaneous burst of energy you decide to put an end to your procrastination and actually start to unpack.

An hour or so later, the summer heat has left you sticky with sweat but you are still determined to unpack at least half of the boxes in front of you by the end of the day. Moving to organise your books, you are interrupted by a knock at the front door.

You open it to find a man standing in front of you. He is tall with messy dark brown hair which glows golden in the sunlight. He wears a nervous smile and is gripping a small bouquet of flowers as if it might fly away at any second. His dark eyes move down to meet yours and a soft smile of relief appears on both of your faces. Seeing his face, it feels like after all this time - after everything - you can finally breathe again.

“Soobin.” you whisper, as if to reassure yourself that this is real, that it’s actually happening.

His grin grows wider as he extends the flowers out towards you, “It’s been a while.”

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hwanchaesong · 8 months ago

Text

↗🏢 Entering 1st floor: Lost in the crowd, blurry eyes and pink lips, wrongs paths and right person, and now you're saved in his arms. 🌌

🎧: Chase Atlantic - Paradise

wc: 1.6k

genre & warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, university setting, strangers to lovers au, mentions of alcohol, party, cursing, themes of marriage, appearance of other idols etc etc

a/n: this is a part of The Paradise Hotel series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

"Am I sweating too much? Is my suit wrinkled? Are m-"

"Hyung, shut the fuck up. You're fine." Beomgyu cuts off Soobin's yapping, rolling his eyes at the older's unsolicited panicking.

A comforting tap on his left shoulder gets Soobin's attention, "You need to calm down. It's your special day." Yeonjun, the oldest of the bunch, speaks up while the others nod their heads in agreement.

The male pouts, facing the mirror in front of him and he scans himself. He's handsome, that's given, but he couldn't help his nerves.

He closes his eyes in an attempt to cool his heated mind; remembering the moment when he first met you, the time when he knew he was in love, and the second he's sure that you're the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

---------------------------------------------------

It was a bright day but Soobin was rather gloomy on the inside because what the fuck? Where is he and where are his friends?

Surely, they didn't leave him alone in the amusement park, right?

Knowing his friends though, the possibility is sky high. Fucking pranksters.

He rubbed his temples in frustration, might as well walk around and enjoy himself, he did pay for the entrance fee.

Just then, a girl suddenly appeared. A girl in a pink sundress, sporting a big grin and two milkshakes. One of her arms is extended towards him, a kind gesture of offering him a drink.

"Uh..?" he stammers, not really knowing how to handle a situation like this.

"Here!" you shove the large plastic cup in his hand, "You look thirsty."

"Oh, thank you but I'm not t-"

"Yes, you are thirsty." you flat out rejected his rejection, and he was dumbfounded because he has never met someone like this before... and it's akin to that of inhaling fresh air from the mountains.

He stares at you, yeah, maybe he'll appreciate your company.

He found his friends after a few hours, with your help of course, and it's safe to say that his rambling about them losing him and not bothering to look for him was astounding. (in an adorable way)

---------------------------------------------------

His second meeting with you was nothing more than a godsent chance, in a frat party of his university that he was forced to be at, courtesy of Yeonjun, the most popular frat boy of their college.

He was sitting quietly in a corner, nursing his red cup of alcohol concoction, observing the swarm of people on the dance floor, swaying to the beat of some rock music blaring through the speakers of the house.

He sighs, this is boring as hell, then his eyes light up when he sees your familiar figure across the room. Then it went droopy when he noticed the guy beside you.

Wait a damn minute.

You look uncomfortable as fuck.

Soobin is not weak, but by all means, he avoids conflicts. He's docile like that, but his head was empty when he decided to walk over to you with a newfound confidence due to the liquid courage in his system.

"Hey, Y/N." he greets with a light smile, and he felt pride in his chest when he saw your hopeful expression.

You were about to reply to him, but the male beside you rudely interrupted the meeting.

"Man, can't you see we're busy here?" the man slurs, clearly drunk and for some reason, Soobin was pissed at the way your features withered just because of some asshole's words.

"What I'm seeing here is that you're invading her personal space." he utters threateningly, the polar opposite of his usual gentle way of speaking.

If there is one thing that he'll forever thank the heavens for, it'll be his height. He towers over the other man, and it was enough to intimidate the jackass.

"Yup!" you saw the opportunity to escape from the arms of your former partner, "Excuse us, Sunghoon, we'll be going now."

You stood up, grabbed Soobin's arms and dragged him out on the terrace of the house, "Thank you so much for saving me back there." you mumbled, shaking slightly from the cold, your thin outfit ain't shielding you from the winter breeze.

Then, you feel something warm draped over your shoulders, the orange-ish scent fills you with a sense of tranquil.

"It's nothing, it's a man's duty to protect a lady." he says jokingly, but your gut tells you that he meant it.

You took the initiative to step a little bit closer to him, bumping your shoulders onto his arm, "You're like a knight in shining armor then."

He hums, tilting his head so he could see you better, and the way you're gazing at him makes his heart beat a wad faster.

How could someone be so beautiful under some shitty lighting and an oversized (his) jacket.

"Am I?" he whispers, soft voice tickling the butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah, my knight in shining armor."

That must make you his damsel in distress.

You are not good for his delicate soul, yet he knew that it was the end for him when you used that damned possessive noun.

A fragile yet thorny sentiment was planted, and now he's about to water and grow it.

---------------------------------------------------

Soobin is well-aware of his feelings for you, and there's no hour where he's not fretting about it. He is always thinking of ways to confess, to make you his, because he is convinced that the universe made you two meet.

Call him a delulu but he firmly believes that you are his soulmate.

As usual, instead of sleeping, his mind is in an overdrive, thinking of you all day and all night.

He tossed and turned in his bed, he has morning classes tomorrow at fucking 7:30 am. Really, who in their right minds would teach that early?

His phone then started ringing, scaring the wits out of him. Again, who in their right fucking minds w-

Never mind, it's you.

He immediately answers the call, then he hears you sobbing and muttering incoherent sentences until he makes out a vague 'I'm outside your apartment.'

Never the sporty one but he was faster than flash when he shot up from his bed to open the door for you, and there you were. Standing in the middle of his small yard— puffy eyes, red nose, pink lips, wrecked appearance yet in his eyes, you're still gorgeous as ever.

"Soobin!" you cried out, throwing yourself in his arms, and he easily caught you, letting in his flat as he shuts the door close with his foot.

"What's happening? Are you alright?" he worriedly asks, threading his fingers on your smooth strands, doing his best to pacify your problems away.

"I can't lose you." you murmur, and he felt his heart stop along with the rotation of the earth. Is he hearing things now? Had he gone insane?

When Soobin remained silent, you continued to ramble in his chest, hugging him tightly, "I-I heard from some people in our uni that Yeri will be confessing to you. I don't w-want that!" you hiccup, and he discerns that you probably had a few drinks before coming here.

"Y/N." he gently called your name, and you craned your neck to face him, only for Soobin to give you the most loving kiss you had ever experienced.

Everything about the kiss is surreal. Magical, enchanting, one that can be only given to you by your destined person.

"I don't care about that or her." he fondly cradles your cheeks in his cozy palms, "I only care about you, my princess, my damsel in distress. I am your knight in shining armor, after all."

If you needed more assurance, he gladly showed you that for the rest of the night. He made you realize how much he loves you. With simple touches, messy tongue and teeth filled kisses, and passionate love-making.

He had you writhing under him, and even in your sweaty and tousled condition, he still finds you to be an absolute masterpiece.

Soobin worshiped your body, kissing and licking every corner, your skin was a former blank canvas that he happily painted in luxurious hues of the sky and wine.

At the end of it all, he has you enveloped in his arms. He has you in his life, sleeping peacefully. His pretty, pretty princess that he swore to protect with all his might until you're grey and old.

---------------------------------------------------

"Hyung, let's go. It's about to start." Huening Kai nudged Soobin, slightly startling him from his daydreaming. His eyes were wide open, anxious yet still complied when he was hauled out of the dressing room.

He stood like a statue at the end of the aisle, he was focusing on a piece of flower that had fallen from the arrangement displayed at the altar.

The sound of the metallic doors opening and the classical music playing sent shivers down his spine.

He slowly turns around, his eyes locking in yours and the surroundings are serene once again.

He watches you walk down the red carpet, wearing the most exquisite white gown that you have specially curated for the occasion. A white veil covers your face, and Soobin doesn't need to remove it to see how much of an angel you are.

The girl of his dreams that makes his dreams come true, if that even makes sense, but that's what he'll describe you despite the lack of adjectives to represent a treasure like you.

Soobin is no genius nor a champion, he is not the richest man on earth, no, yet he knows that he's lucky enough to be alive in this utopia with you.

Real heaven starts with you, his paradise.

taglist:

@hyunjinheartbreakprince @lun4kazumii @once27 @purrplegyuu @yawnzsof @shakalakaboomboo @baeksofty

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soobchwe · 16 days ago

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higher than heaven ᯓ 𝚌𝚜𝚋

SFW version of my fic posted here on @heechwe .ᐟ

୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 10.3k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst ୨୧ tags: guardian angel!soobin, human!reader, mutual pining ୨୧ synopsis: Soobin, your devoted guardian angel, has one singular purpose in his ethereal existence: to bring your heart's deepest desires to life. Unbeknownst to him, his mere presence fulfills that desire. Yet, the lingering question remains— how can he effectively transform your most intimate dreams into reality? ♬ playlist: iris | nightly, dizzy | yueku, unbreakable | jamie scott, monsters | joan, feel every bit | the ivy, infinitely falling | fly by midnight, kiss my scars | august royals, next to me | peter fenn, hideaway | jacob collier, salvation | gabrielle aplin, magic island | tomorrow x together ⟢ AUTHOR'S NOTE: First fic of 2025! I’d like to thank @lovetaroandtaemin, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @ylangelegy, @gyubakeries, and @xomakara for beta-reading this fic for me, I know it was a quick journey and I appreciate every one of you who followed the story from the beginning to the end 🤍.

The time fills as plastic shot glasses and empty solo cups discarded into trash bags. Some stragglers of the party lay on the couch or floor, but you pass by them with ease. You sigh before Beomgyu stops you with a sharp tug. "Dude, you don't have to help me. You're supposed to be one of my guests!"

"I'm just avoiding the inevitable tomorrow. And if you come into the shelter late because you procrastinated cleaning your own apartment, I may just kill you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, boss.” He rolls his eyes and unfurls the empty bag you had between your hands moments before. You giggle in earnest.

“If I get a single text, Gyu–”

“Why don’t you enjoy the early morning hours of New Year's and get out of here?" He shoves you towards the door of his apartment with an "I love you” to follow you out, determined to do what you swear he won't without your help.

Beomgyu may be your childhood friend, but habits hold on tight with him. It’s clear from the three years he’s worked at your animal shelter. Your parents always said he has good intentions, although he’s brash in decision-making. "The kid just asks for forgiveness more than permission most of the time," your dad would joke, and Beomgyu wouldn’t disagree.

Your parents’ words replay in your head on the walk home. You hear every piece of parental advice with each step on the cobblestones, the clack or your heels accompanying every word. It's customary on New Years to feel the ache of their absence so strongly. Your thoughts of them are as vivid as the pain of their loss. It seems to haunt you more with every year that passes.

One day, you had been tagging new intakes and cleaning food bowls like normal. The next you were receiving the call that your parents had been in a fatal car accident. Every space they inhabited, including the shelter, felt colder, quieter, a little less like home. Even your own house twenty minutes from your job barely felt like your own.

Five years of grief made the pain manageable, but on nights like tonight, it doesn’t feel like you’ve made much progress..

The cold of January accompanies the repetitive emotional and mental cycle you're on. The weather bites with a hard set of teeth, almost more brutal than the traces of sadness you feel in your heart.

You don’t realize amid the somber trek home how close the surrounding shadows are, one of a stranger within an arm’s distance.

Your animals greet you at your door with perky barks and whooshing tails. Mina and Minho, your two tabby cats, seem to be delighted that you’re back, but save the ecstatic greetings for their canine siblings. Key, your senior chihuahua, does what he can energy-wise compared to Bori, your labrador mix.

“Bobo, please,” you beg as she jumps up on you when you kneel at her eye-level. It’s all a mess of slobbering tongue and eager pants with her. Once she’s done, you rub Key between the ears to give him some affection.

Even your hedgehog, Rio, taps against the glass of his enclosure to say hello to you. It’s almost like every pair of animal eyes asks you how the party went and why you left them alone for so long.

You can’t supply them with an answer, because you notice the person-shaped figure at your kitchen counter, silent and clouded in darkness. The sight makes you release a decibel-breaking scream.

You grab an umbrella from the iron wrack near your door and charge to the kitchen, expecting Key and Bori to follow you and bark aggressively at the intruder. They don’t, but they do pad behind you in curiosity at your strange actions.

They barely react at all when you turn on the light in the small kitchen. The new illumination reveals the black-haired stranger dressed in white. He says nothing, but holds a smile of mirth on his face at your line of defense. He's neither scrawny nor muscular, but towers over you to a surreal degree.

You think you can take him if you have the element of surprise, but with the alcohol still buzzing through your veins, you may lack complete hand-eye coordination. It’s anyone’s guess.

“What do you want? If you’re looking for money, you got the wrong house, buddy.” You say with a steady voice, aiming the sharpest point of the umbrella in his direction.

He smiles wide, pearly teeth and a set of dimples almost blinding you. “I’m Soobin.”

His lack of an answer and warm smile throw you off. It’s definitely not the reaction anyone expects from a burglar. Maybe the guy's intoxication is even greater than yours, enabling him to enter someone's home without permission. No matter the reasons, you don’t release your hold on the umbrella. You stare him down hard despite your shaking hands.

“Well…Soobin…I don’t know what you want, but you’re not gonna find it here.”

“I’m in the exact place I need to be.” He says your name with the same level of warmth that remains in his smile, but your blood runs cold at the fact he is aware of who you are. Was he stalking you? Had he stopped by the animal shelter while you were too busy to make a mental note of him? “Put down the umbrella and we–”

“Get the fuck out of my house, you creep!” You raise the umbrella as high as you can before it falls on his head, shoulders, or any location on his body that will stun him. He knows it’s coming, though.

Soobin somehow materializes right in front of you before you can step forward, taking your wrists gently in one hand to stop you. “There’s no need for that. I’m not here to harm you.”

You struggle in his hold, trying your hardest to release yourself from his grip with all of your might. Then, you freeze, unsure of how both his speed and his lack of alarm to your furry animals makes any logical sense.

Soobin senses your lack of effort to go through with your attack and lets go of you, taking a small breath of air. “Will you drop the umbrella?”

“Once you tell me what you are,” you whisper. “My dogs would have ripped off your ankles by now, but they didn’t. Why?”

Soobin chuckles, but you feel anything but humorous. “The why to that question is a bit hard to explain. But I can tell you why I’m here.” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly bashful. “Let’s just say I have a mission to complete.”

Soobin sits at one end of the couch, hands in his lap, while you sit on the other. Your dogs lay at the edge of the couch, snoring peacefully now that the chaos is over. Your knees sit tight against your chest, still guarding yourself from him or any potential advances he may make.

You may not think he wants to kill or rob you anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re immediately trusting of the stranger. One that is no doubt breathtaking, but still hiding his intentions.

You size him up, still unsure how or why the guy is familiar with you when you’ve never seen him before. He can barely provide you with an adequate answer for the questions that pop into your head.

Where are you from? How do you know me? Have we ever met before?

He chuckles at each one, continuing on with the same reflexive response. “Proprietary information.”

You roll your eyes. “Every time you say that, you sound like some kind of spy.” You move closer to his spot on the couch, looking at him with more intensity than before.

The analysis makes him laugh even more, his cheeks turning pink. “I’m not an alien, if that was your second guess.”

“That’s not what I was thinking!”

He quirks an eyebrow at you. “You look like you’re about to cut me open with a scalpel.”

Your lips transform into a firm line. “Should I want to, Soobin? Maybe you’re saying you’re not an alien to throw me off.”

“Trust me, I am not an extraterrestrial. Not cool enough.”

You can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous situation you find yourself in, matching the smile on Soobin’s face with your own. An hour ago, you were about to kill him in self-defense for what you assumed was a classic break-in scenario. Now, you’re laughing with your would-be victim. This has to be the most peculiar first day of the year you’ve ever had.

He claps his hands softly on his white denim jeans. “We should call it a night. You’re probably tired. I can explain more tomorrow, if you’d like.”

You look around your house, unsure where Soobin is planning to stay for the next few hours. The one-bed-and-bath cottage is anything but roomy, most of your space taken up by work supplies or your animals’ stuff.

He senses your trepidation and grins. “Don’t worry, I can come back in the morning.”

You suck in a breath. Most of you feels relief, but there’s a small inkling of sadness that pervades your emotions. You barely know Soobin, but his presence provides a warmth that your home has been missing.

It has to be the last traces of alcohol and the simmering grief still in your system.

“Okay. I have work in the morning, but–”

“I’ll be here before you have to leave,” Soobin cuts you off. He holds his hand out in a goodbye, and you take it. His soft palm meets yours and heats your skin, and you have to cut the parting short to not feel any more flustered.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, love.” He leaves you with one more grin before he exits, confusing you further.

The touch of his fingertips on you follows you into sleep, his skin the last coherent sensation you have before it all goes black.

There is a murky quality to the dream you find yourself in. You’re surrounded by grey, the color’s opacity fading only partly as the details become clearer.

The room around you looks more like a cavern than a traditional room. It’s made of stone, cavelike and primitive. The entrance to the area is too vast for a normal door. It’s almost as if you could step out and fall into nothing but clouds. The world outside is a mixture of inky blacks and dark blues, signifying nighttime outside the four rocky walls.

You look back to the inside of the space. It holds a desk covered with paperwork and photographs. You’re alone, standing in the center of it all, but too far away from the papers on the table to see any information.

Before you can step closer, Soobin enters with a blonde man hot on his heels. They both walk right through you, seemingly not noticing your presence at all as they continue their discussion.

They emit their own light somehow, the room nowhere near as dark as when you were alone inside of it.

“If you fail at this, Yeonjun will demote you and have no qualms about doing it.” The blonde man ruffles his hair in frustration, and inches closer to Soobin. They clearly have a close relationship, from the concern on the stranger’s face to the hand that he rests on Soobin's shoulder. “You’ve worked too hard to lose everything, Soobin.”

“I know, Hyuka,” Soobin says in a somber tone, sorting through the papers on his desk. “But she needs me now more than ever. And I know I can help. And if I succeed, I can actually—“

“I get it. We’re just not supposed to get involved unless we’re certain about it. You know this.”

Soobin sighs. “You didn’t see her, Kai. I have to.”

The man named Kai exhales a deep breath and walks away, his pleas seeming to hit a brick wall. The last thing he says, “I hope you know what you’re risking,” barely makes it to your ears. All you notice before Kai’s departure is the unfurling of wings from his back, the white and gray feathers spouting from the tendons just below his shoulders.

You scream when he drops from the entrance, his wings carrying him away. You don’t care if the sound alerts either of the two men, not after witnessing such an unrealistic moment.

You scream again when you hear the unfurling of Soobin’s wings, the sound almost whipping you onto your back from the gust his wings emit. They’re dark grey, larger than Kai’s are. They create such long-casting shadows that you have no question now what Soobin is or where he comes from.

The word replays in your mind as the surrounding scene dematerializes and you wake up with a rapid heartbeat: an angel.

Soobin waits at your door in the same white button-up and jeans he had on the night prior. You welcome him inside, and he looks more ethereal somehow in daylight.

The dream hits you again with its full force, the image of his grey wings flashing across your memory.

“So, you’re an angel,” You say, filling the space between you both with a new tension. The anxiety only permeates from you; Soobin exudes an air of calm instead, despite your accusation.

He almost ticks his head down in a nod as he responds with the words, “Proprietary information.”

You nod your head and gulp hard. Somehow, the aura around you and the subtext in his expression tells you what you know to be true.

He showed you all you needed to know last night through your dreams, a miraculous loophole to the restrictions placed upon him.

When you’re finally ready to go to work, the morning chores around the house finished before Soobin even made it to your doorstep, you look over at the man in front of you again with trepidation. The white attire may lead to a multitude of questions that you and Soobin cannot answer.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Soobin asks, confused.

You laugh and shake your head, any residual tension from your realization broken. “You look a bit too…uniform for the shelter.”

“Oh! Well…” He blushes, unsure how to respond.

An idea pops into your head when his words come up short. “I may have some old stuff that’ll fit you.”

“Why is the rando wearing your dad’s windbreaker?” Beomgyu asks while cleaning Jin, the newest adoptee at the shelter. His eyes peer over at Soobin filling some food bowls with kibble. Soobin’s presence fills the space the same way it did in your house.

He wears your dad’s long-sleeve shirt, windbreaker, and khaki pants well. Despite his freakishly tall height, the clothes don’t look small on him, and you’re relieved he’s able to fit in like any normal guy with the change in wardrobe.

You scoff, continuing to fill out the documents for Jin’s tag and vaccinations without looking up at your friend. “Soobin’s new in town and lost everything on the plane ride here. He just needed to borrow some stuff until his luggage gets delivered.”

Beomgyu nods, still concerned. He goes back to scrubbing Jin’s coat with the anti-tick shampoo, and you leave his spot at the cleaning station to stand beside Soobin.

“You do this every day? These bags are heavy, even for me.” Soobin grunts and clips the bag closed.

“I usually make Gyu or another volunteer do it. But you saved me the trouble of asking.” You smirk and take two of the bowls in your hands. “Want to help me feed the dogs?”

Soobin’s eyes light up, and he nods. You wonder as you walk to the cages if he’s ever interacted with animals before he left his home in the skies.

Since you were a kid, the shelter has always been a part of your daily regimen. Once college was out of the way, you had a stable job waiting for you to practice your veterinary degree on. While some could only handle so many cat scratches, dog poops, and absurd origin stories, it made every day worth it in your eyes. And the fact that you had a history with tending to furry friends with your parents only made it more worthwhile to continue doing.

The second you open the cages to let the dogs eat, you recognize how natural Soobin is at the job. He talks to them in a childlike voice and rubs their bellies as they munch on kibble and necessary medicines you give in between feeding. Even the dogs with the rougher backgrounds take to Soobin like a bee to honey, the warmth he naturally exudes relaxing them.

He truly is an angel, you realize, and not just in the literal sense.

You lock up the shelter for the day with a lot less weight on your shoulders thanks to Soobin. “I might as well give you the keys to this place. It suits you well,” you joke.

Soobin tucks his hands into his windbreaker, smiling hard. “It just came easy, I guess. Animals aren’t like people. They don’t have to hide behind words. It’s all about energy.”

You look at him as you walk away from the building together, your face softened from his words. “My mom always used to say stuff like that. To her, animals were the bestest friends you could ever ask for. She’d say it’s like they see into your soul.”

Soobin grins. “She seems lovely.”

You swallow hard, balling your hands into fists inside your jacket. It’s not anger that permeates your body now, not the way it used to. All that exists is the reality that their words are simply memories. “She was. My dad too. That place was their second home.” You wave your arm in the direction of the shelter. The building diminishes from view as you round the corner to head home. “And mine, too.”

“Did you envision this being your life?” Soobin asks, the question taking you by surprise. “I don’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay!” You laugh. “I mean—I love working with the animals every day, and I have great friends. It just can be very routine sometimes, like there’s this gap that I can’t fill.” You hold back the more intimate details of your desires to Soobin, still guarded and uncertain of being so vulnerable so soon.

He steps closer, the walk becoming more intimate with his shoulder almost brushing yours. “You’ve been alone for quite a while. It’s understandable to want to share your life with someone.”

You blush hard, a mixture of the January cold and his correct assumptions building a steady heat on your cheeks. “That’s what most people want, I guess.”

Eyes widening, you realize now why Soobin may be discussing these things with you. Could his super secret mission, which he discussed the night you met, relate to right now?

“No fucking way,” you whisper to yourself, stopping on the stone street. Soobin only gets a few paces farther than you before he stops.

“Is there something wrong?” He asks, his eyebrows drawn up and his mouth in a small O that you would normally giggle at.

Now, you have no time for humor.

“Did you come here because of the stupid wish I made on New Year’s Eve?”

“Taehyun, if you give me another shot, I will throw up!” You exclaim in a fit of giggles, three drinks already in your system over the last hour and a half. His girlfriend, Kazuha, stands by your side as she downs the shot in her hand, her mouth puckering as she swallows it down. “Zu, I thought you were the DD tonight!”

“Fuck it, I’ll call an Uber.” She winks and chases the shot with a sip of beer. Beomgyu wades through the throng of people in his living room to join all of you in the kitchen.

“Taking shots without me? That’s a party foul.”

“Whatever, man. It’s not like we can’t make more.” Taehyun passes him one filled with tequila to catch up, and Beomgyu downs it in the next second. By the time the buzz of the drinks hits your head, Jungwon barrels into the kitchen with his own girlfriend Yeri to tell you all that the ball is dropping.

Everyone crowds around the television to watch the remaining minute of the year play out. The strangers around you scream out the last seconds, others speak in a drunken lilt.

You turn to your friends, somehow the only person without someone attached to their hip. Beomgyu is holding a random girl's shoulder, while your other friends stand closely together in their respective couples, watching the countdown..

“Four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!” Beomgyu says the words into his date’s neck before kissing her roughly on the lips. Your other friends have their own celebratory make-out sessions. You feel like an intruder as they all enjoy the moment in their respective couples.

You’ve never been a grouch about your single status, not once. But it felt like a part of you was missing out with little of a choice in the matter. Whether by the confines of chance or love simply not being meant for you for the past twenty-seven years, you can only be comfortable for so long before the pain of solitude drains you dry.

Was it so awful to want to find someone to share funny videos with? To talk to about days at the shelter when a cute animal comes in and needs a loving home? When days are heavy on your heart and you need the one you love the most to lift you up and make it all evaporate with a simple “I love you”? To make every struggle and hardship, no matter how big or small, worth it?

And so, with only a drunken mind and heart to listen to your deepest whims, you wish for what seems the most out of reach as your eyes line with tears: a soulmate to bridge the gap between your loneliness and true fulfillment.

When the reality of why Soobin’s here hits you, you can’t help but release one of the loudest laughs you’ve ever emitted before.

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you say with exasperated breaths, all the air in your lungs saved mostly for your laughter. “You came all the way from up there to play matchmaker?”

Soobin chuckles to himself, the sounds that leave his lips a lot quieter than yours. “You make it sound so childish.”

“Can you blame me?” You ask. “I don’t need help in that department!”

Soobin gives you a knowing look, hitting you somewhere deep in the chest. “Then I wouldn’t be here, would I?”

“Okay, don’t speak in riddles to me!”

“I’m just stating facts, love.”

You roll your eyes, and Soobin laughs again. “So you’re magically going to find me the perfect partner after only knowing me for 48 hours?”

“I’ve known you for much longer than that.” He steps even closer to you, your fingers brushing his as he stands a few inches from you. “But again, it’s—“

“Proprietary information, I get it,” you whisper. You cough into your fist and glide past him, the moment broken. “Either way, I am just fine with or without a boyfriend, Soobin.”

He follows behind without a word, but you sense his smile without looking at him. Jerk.

Soobin has helped many people in his immortal life. It’s an existence he couldn’t fill in just one book. He’d have to go back centuries to the very moment he started his work as a guardian. His life began long before that, but his true merits came when he started helping those who needed supernatural guidance.

He’s seen from his eagle’s eye view many heartbreaks, losses, successes, and love stories, but nothing as encapsulating as the story of your life.

You were a vision to see the first time you held an animal in your hands, hands tepid but heart full from the creature giving all of its affection to you for you to reciprocate wholeheartedly. He was in awe of you when you stepped across the stage with your degree, eager to put all the knowledge you gained about medicine to a good use. And his ever-still heart ached with yours the second you got that phone call in November five years ago, wanting nothing more than to catch you before your knees hit the tile below.

You’re the one assignment he’s kept too close an eye on, the others in his caseload not holding his focus so strongly. He succumbed to forbidden desires, wishes he knew were unattainable.

But the second he felt your heart break on the one night he knew he could seize the chance to step over the border between Heaven and Earth, he chose the only option that felt right: he had to leave home and heal what needed to be mended inside of you a long time ago.

He watches you help the teenage girl adopting her first pet with immense adoration.

You check off the supplies needed for Jin and all the vaccines the dog will need moving forward with clinical focus. It’s admirable how dedicated you are to your work, not caring if it went beyond the bounds of a traditional work-life balance.

And when you wave the teenager and her parents out the door and turn to him with a signature eye-roll, he can’t stop the way his skin heats. Your gaze in his direction screams: How long are you going to keep pestering me?

Forever, he says to himself with a hell of a lot of hope.

When you’re both alone in the shelter, one hour after you’re closed for the day, you sweep the floors in a huff. “I am telling you I do not need you to play matchmaker for me.”

“You keep saying that and yet I’m still here, love,” Soobin tuts, flipping through the magazine on top of your desk. He sits at the chair opposite from the receptionist counter so casually, feet crossed and casual despite his heart yearning to explain everything to you.

I’m here because I can’t take any more of your pain. Because someone deserves to know how special you are. Because I—

“I can find a date without your help. Beomgyu already took up that role a long time ago. He’s been pestering me about going out with his friend Heeseung for months. So there.” You stick your tongue out at him and continue sweeping.

Soobin chuckles to himself and flips to another page of the magazine, but he can’t deny how his focus remains on you, the center of his attention, for longer than he expected.

“Lee Heeseung, twenty-two. Works at the ramen shop downtown. Entirely incompatible with you. Just for your information.”

You stop sweeping and aim an accusatory eye at him. “And that’s not proprietary information how?”

“I’m not looking out for him. And that only took a couple of Google searches to figure out, love.”

By the time you lock up the store, Soobin is in the habit of checking the door behind you to make sure you didn’t miss the back door or forget to close the play-gate on the way out. Two weeks of observing your routine up close has given him incredible intel, and not just into your schedule.

“Let’s walk past downtown,” Soobin suggests, taking your hand and walking through a new pattern of alleyways and cobblestone paths.

You’re unsure why this route that adds another ten minutes to your walk is worth the trouble, but you take his advice, anyway. He’s your angel for a reason, after all.

“Soobin, unless you suddenly got a hankering for human food, we really should—“

You knock into someone’s shoulders hard; the impact sends you to the gravel. Soobin vanishes from view, his name on your tongue the second you recognize that you’re on the ground.

A pair of hands that aren’t Soobin’s, more calloused and robust, lift you up off the ground.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the alleyway.”

A beautiful pair of brown eyes gaze at yours, and it stops you dead in your tracks. The stranger’s brown hair falls over his face in a mess of free curls, some of them tinged with sweat. He wears a baking apron around his waist; flour and, you presume, icing cover his shirt.

You look at the building next to you, the pastel pink sign reading “Gyu’s Baked Goods” beaming over your head. And you turn back to the man in question, the baker himself as his hands keep you sturdy on your scraped feet.

“It’s totally fine. I’m the one who should be sorry. I mean, I wasn’t looking anyway and I—“

“No, you don’t have to apologize. This is what I get for taking a smoke break when I have cupcakes to make, right?” The baker chuckles and releases you. Your heart thumps at a rapid tempo when he holds his hand out to you. “I’m Mingyu. Sorry I’m built like a mountain.”

You chuckle and take his hand, the handshake gentle for the size of his palm. It reminds you of a sturdy fireplace, strong but tender. “Pleased to meet you. Apologies for having the build of a leaf.”

Soobin looks on with a knot in his stomach from an opposite alleyway. The process has begun, and he cannot halt its progress. No matter if he wants to be the one in the human male’s place.

Soobin watches on as Mingyu stands with you by the kennels, acid simmering on his tongue from watching the two of you in such a chummy position.

He clutches the novel in his hands with intense pressure, on the edge of ripping pages between his fingers. For the past week and a half, you and Mingyu have spent time together as new acquaintances, giving Sobbing time to read mortal literature.

He should be happy for you; his initial plan to find someone who fits your life and wishes so well is going perfectly. Yet why does he wish he could rewind time and take it back?

To your pleasure and Soobin’s secret dismay, Mingyu’s surprise gift of homemade mini animal treats made the day an amazing experience for all three of you.

You pay no mind to Soobin’s sudden and off-putting sulking as you show Mingyu around the animal shelter, your new friend interested in your job as much as you’re intrigued by him.

Beomgyu saunters up to Soobin with a bag of kibble in his hands, clicking his tongue. “It’s tough, isn’t it, man?”

Soobin huffs and looks at the younger man, the aura around your friend similar to his back home. If only Kai could see him now, grumbling and pouting like a kicked puppy.

“What is?”

“Seeing the girl you like with someone else. I mean, she’s pretty great so I get it.”

Soobin rolls his eyes and goes back to the novel in his hands to distract himself. His jaw ticks when he hears your laughter. The sound creates such a beautiful symphony to his ears, but it’s not reserved for him at the moment, and it makes his stomach turn. “You’re wrong.”

“Okay, dude. I get it. None of my business.” Beomgyu lifts the bag over his shoulder and starts walking, but looks back at Soobin with a smirk. “But maybe it might be mutual if you gave it a shot.”

Soobin scoffs at the kid, and then at himself for the split second he entertains the idiot’s idea. Soobin can pine all he wants, but he knows the boundaries. A multitude of reasons prevent this line from ever being crossed.

He may have incredibly powerful feelings for you, but they’re hidden away and unable to reach the light of day. Not just because he has a strategy for you and Mingyu, but he is not an acceptable suitor because he doesn’t belong here, simply put. Earth is only a temporary stay on his list. And when he goes back and reports to Yeonjun of his success, who knows what will happen?

All he knows is that your paths will cross only once in his and your lifetime, and never again.

Soobin almost remains stuck in his misery until you walk up to him with an orange icing-colored dog bone treat in your hands. You hold it out to him with a shy smile. “For you.”

He smirks, taking the snack from you and rotating it between his fingers. “Isn’t this for the dogs, love?”

And the signature eye roll comes, your bottom lip between your teeth as you do it. “They’re organic. Anyone can eat them.” You look back at him directly, suddenly concerned. “You can eat, right?”

He chuckles. Nodding his head, he looks back at the snack. “Just not sure if I’ll like it.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “Just try it, please?”

Reluctantly, he bites down. Sweet potatoes and carrots, harmoniously blended, flood his mouth. The icing and pinch of cinnamon provides the perfect level of sweetness to round it all out, and Soobin groans. Even the dog treats the guy makes are perfect.

“Okay, it’s pretty great,” Soobin admits, taking another bite. “Even if they’re meant for dogs.”

You laugh and take a tiny corner for yourself. “At least you can say you’ve eaten a dog bone.”

Soobin’s tender smile makes you blush, and it stirs up all the feelings you’ve suppressed when you’re not in his presence. Mingyu’s a welcome distraction from it all. His looks and personality are undeniably attractive, but you always circle back to the angel in your midst.

Who can blame you? He’s ethereal, his magnetism undeniable. But that warmth he’s had from the first day you met is why you can only stay away for so long. He’s a part of your world now, and you can’t imagine that changing in the foreseeable future.

He’s made his place on Earth with you, and you dread the day he has to go back to where he belongs.

The end of January brings the last time for branches to stay vacant of leaves. You notice the small sprouts of leaves amidst the brown limbs as you and Soobin walk back to your house. You bite back a smile, and Soobin comments on it.

It’s like he clenches your heart between his fingers as he says it. “You always hide your excitement like nobody should be watching. Like it’s wrong to be happy about the little things.”

You blush while strolling beside him. “It’s not that I’m hiding it. Maybe I just don’t think anyone will get why I’m happy about certain things.”

Soobin bumps you with his shoulder, a close-mouthed smile on his lips. “Try me.”

You exhale a breath to get your bearings. “Okay, so everyone is always excited about the start of the new year. But then it’s like the excitement dies down and we just go on our merry way until the next holiday comes up. It’s not in the days for me. It’s the environment that always makes me feel the shift, you know?

“Like with animals, almost. The energy is unique, and I feel it when I see the colors and feel the temperature fluctuate.” You shake your head and tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “That may sound stupid, but—“

Soobin stops you on the open sidewalk, taking your hand in his. He looks into your eyes earnestly, wanting you to take his words to heart before he says them. “Nothing you’ve ever said to me is stupid, love. Every thought you have is beautiful because it’s yours.”

Like the town greenery, something shifts inside of you then. Even on the rest of the walk home and the talk over dinner about the day at the shelter, you sense an unfamiliar emotion swirling in the air between you and Soobin. You can’t name it, but it reminds you of the first blooms of spring, brimming with promise.

The first week of February comes in a tidal wave. Many people flood the animal shelter looking for the perfect furry friend to complete their family on the cusp of Valentine’s Day.

All you can hope for is that a majority of them, or at least fifty percent, don’t come back to the shelter after the holiday is over to return the animals looking for forever homes.

That was the one thing that bugged you the most about this job: biting your tongue at the obvious lack of responsibility people put into owning pets.

It holds more weight than anyone knows, bringing another being in your home to tend to like a child. The only difference is that many of them have histories that deserve more care than normal, and some don’t want to put in the right amount of effort.

You sit on these thoughts as Soobin holds the newest cat to the shelter in his hands. “Have you thought of a name for Mr. Cat yet?” Soobin inspects the spot near the cat’s tail. “Or Missus?”

You giggle and grab the clipboard with the cat’s information on it. “He’s a he, Soob. You can come up with a name.”

He ponders the choices, before his smile grows and he presses his nose to the cat’s. “How about Hyuka?” He rubs the back of the cat’s ears tenderly.

You grin at Soobin and brush your fingers over Hyuka’s fur. “I think it’s a perfect fit.”

Soobin looks over at you with bright eyes, his expression transforming into one that feels like the one you held that day so long ago when he called your thoughts beautiful. A question forms on his tongue, but it flits away the second Mingyu walks through the double doors of the animal shelter with a bouquet of daisies.

At least the jerk knows your favorite flowers, Soobin thinks to himself as he walks with Hyuka back to his block in the back room.

You smile at Mingyu and thank him for the flowers, immediately pressing your nose to them to inhale their smell. “They’re amazing, thank you.”

“My buddy Wonwoo is a florist, so don’t thank me too much. I got a discount even though I should’ve paid full price.”

“Can’t beat a couple bucks off.” You set the bundle down on your desk and cross your arms over the countertop. “I take it you’re not just here to deliver flowers?”

Mingyu chuckles and presses a hand to his neck, his toned biceps stretching out his shirt. “Actually, I was going to ask if you had any plans for Valentine’s.”

You stumble on your explanation, discussing the closure of the shelter for the holiday. “Well,” Mingyu starts, “I was thinking you could come by for dinner. And I promise it won’t just be me making you taste test cupcakes again.”

You laugh, but the sound falls flat. You had always been the one pining, yearning for the boy you liked to like you back. Being on the other side of the coin was not exactly ideal. “Mingyu, you know I appreciate you and I am flattered, but…”

Soobin.

You’re unsure how to continue, but Mingyu holds a hand up in understanding. “I get it. How about I make you a meal, anyway? Consider it a friend treating a friend for all of her hard work.”

You blush and nod. “I’d like that very much.”

You’re washing dried-up wet food from the cat bowls when Soobin walks up to you, his face red. By the time Mingyu left, you expected Soobin to come back to your side so you could wash the dishes together. You did it yourself, seeing as he took forever to come back. Soobin asks with a tone of authority, “What the hell are you thinking?”

You poke your cheek with your tongue, contemplating. “I’m thinking Hyuka’s chances of getting adopted before Valentine’s is about—“

“You know that wasn’t what I meant, love.” He says the pet name with annoyance as he drops one bowl into the sink next to you. His tone catches you off guard, not expecting to see Soobin angry for the first time like this.

“You asked me what I was thinking, and I’m telling you.”

“Why did you say no to the date?” Soobin asks, his eyes blazing with fury. Something without a name sits below though, you can tell.

“I, technically, didn’t say no. It’s just more friendly than romantic.”

“Do you expect me to find you another soulmate like this?” Soobin drops another dirty plate in the sink for you to clean up. You don’t know if the question is exactly for you or for himself.

The tension sits thickly in the air, the running tap the only sound for a good minute or two. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” you respond, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

Your cheekiness makes Soobin chuckle deeply. You missed his laugh, you realize, not hearing the sound in a while. Not since before Mingyu came around. “What am I gonna do with you, love?”

You shrug and go back to washing the bowls, hiding your smile behind soap suds and dishwater.

Soobin’s leg shakes as he sits on your couch, watching the clock on the spot above your door. 10:49 PM. He’s been waiting for hours to welcome you home from your “friendly” date with Mingyu. Admittedly, he’s been waiting since the second you left, the night of Valentine’s Day on the forefront of his brain since he heard the meathead ask you to have dinner.

Minho and Key keep him company, the older animals in your horde understanding and patient while Soobin mopes around. The angel feels as impatient as Bori can be when she has to wait for dinner.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Soobin says to Key, the chihuahua’s overbite hanging almost like a taunt. “I’m not stewing.”

He’s definitely stewing. The animals must be saying to each other, conspiring about what will occur when their mother finally gets home.

And on the cusp of eleven, you walk into the house and unbuckle your heels. You watch Soobin on the couch, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “Have you been sitting there for three hours?” You ask in a cute tone that drives Soobin nuts.

“No, I made the animals dinner.” You set your bag on the iron wrack where your coats lie, and throw your shoes in some corner of the living room before Soobin continues with, “So, how was the date?”

You stride to the mirror, beginning to unclasp the flashy studs in your ears. “It was fine. Nothing special. Just two friends having dinner.”

“That’s all it was? No candles at the table, no romantic music, nothing?”

“Why are you so concerned, Soobin? I went out, I had fun, now I’m home.” Soobin’s not prepared to hear your voice so clipped and direct. Your frustration is usually a mask of humor or concern. Not genuine anger, like right now. You don’t look at him directly, continuing to remove your jewelry as your ire grows.

You try to de-escalate the argument by retreating to the kitchen, but he only follows you there. And moving back into the living doesn’t help either. “Stop following me, Soobin!”

“Stop running away,” he barks back.

“I will when you stop making a big deal out of this.”

“It is a big deal,” he says with a scoff. “And am I not allowed to worry about you and who you’re with?” He asks with a bite that matches your irritation.

“Why are you so concerned if Mingyu’s the person you wanted to set me up with in the first place?”

“Don’t ask me that question,” he whispers. His jaw tightens and his hands clam up, but you don’t give in. If he wants to finish the discussion, then you’ll continue to press him for an answer.

“Why? What kind of ‘proprietary information’ relates to how you feel about this? What does me going out with Mingyu and you being a complete ass about it have anything to do with top-secret intel?”

“I love you, alright?!” He yells, standing stock still as his veins pulse in his head and neck. His hands go to the messy strands of his hair, almost like he feels himself going crazy at his own confession. “I did not mean to, and it’s awful. I can’t give you the life you deserve. Someone like Mingyu or any other human man would be lucky to have you, yet I can barely stomach the thought of someone else getting to touch you in all the ways I wish I could. And it’s driving me insane.”

The confession knocks something loose inside of you, remaining inhibitions be damned if it means now that the feelings Soobin harbors mirror your own without a doubt.

You step closer to him, the tension almost too much to bear any longer. You press your hands to his neck, and bring him closer until your lips are a mere inch apart. “Nothing and nobody’s stopping you, Soobin.”

He takes a deep breath to hold himself back, grounding himself so he doesn’t do something that will upend both of your worlds. “You don’t know that, love.”

You chuckle softly. “Maybe not, but I do know that I love you too.”

When you brush his mouth with your own, every being in the universe, heavenly or not, ceases to exist in your mind. It’s only you and Soobin in your own world. You want to kick yourself for taking so long to seize this moment, this kiss, with him. For all of the reasons Soobin supplies as to why it’s wrong for the two of you to be together, this could not feel more right.

Soobin only gives himself a second of separation from you to catch his breath before he dives back in for one, two, three more kisses. He moans eagerly into your mouth. He tugs on the fabric of your dress to occupy his hands, his body hungry for any contact he can get.

Heavens do be damned, if it means he can keep you between his arms and against his lips.

And when you fall asleep that night in his arms a few hours later, you pray to every god you can name that it never ends.

The expectation of waking up to the warmth of Soobin’s arms and kisses dies when you feel his empty side of the bed. You search the entire house, your dogs padding behind you as you search every corner for him.

To your terror and slowly breaking heart, he remains to be seen. Soobin is gone like he was never there to begin with, your house flooding with a chill that hits you to the core.

You crawl back into bed alone with tears streaming down your face. The only time you rise is to let the animals eat and use the bathroom. For the rest of the day, you remain in bed like a phantom. Half out of your body, half inside of it to feel every ounce of pain. Each shred of sadness reminds you that you still exist, and the man—angel—that you love is gone.

Yeonjun has his head in his hand when another pair of associates throw Soobin in front of his desk. Soobin put up an intense fight in the resulting scuffle to bring him back to the office above Earth, but he doesn’t regret it. The only thing he regrets is not leaving you with some sort of explanation, even something as little as a minute to tell you he loves you.

“When I approved your descent, I expected you to help your assignment. Not sleep with her.” Yeonjun sighs and reads over the paperwork at his desk. “The guys above me are gonna love this.”

“Jun, please.” Soobin falls down on his scraped knees and raises his hands in a prayer. “Let me just tell her—”

“What else is there to explain? You’ve clearly done enough.”

“I’m begging you—”

“You think I’m going to let you spend another second with her and make me look like an idiot? No.” He slams his hand on the desk. “If you’re lucky, Soobin, all the archangels will do is send you to the second circle of Hell. I’m surprised they’re not reprimanding me as your superior. You broke our greatest oath.”

Do not consort with humans, Soobin reminds himself as tears stream down his face. “I love her, Yeonjun. And you know she loves me. Didn’t I do my job? I found her a soulmate, just like she wished for.”

Yeonjun shakes his head with a sad smirk. “Don’t think you can get around our rules this time, Soobin. I just called you here to tell you the council will see you in the morning. Be grateful they’re giving you a chance to explain yourself.”

The angels that brought Soobin in drag him away to the lower cells of the building. As he’s pushed and pulled through dark hallways, Soobin has barely enough time to come up with a plan to fix what he’s ruined. Barely.

Your dream is almost the same as the one you envisioned months ago, the dark cavern welcoming you like an old friend. The fog of your transition from sleep to dreaming still pervades your senses. You barely have time to make out the details before Soobin has you wrapped in his arms, holding you so tightly that you feel the air knocked out of your lungs. “Thank God it worked.”

You sob immediately when you recognize Soobin’s voice and his arms around you. It’s like a magnet the way you gravitate to one another, not worrying if the dream will last a second or into eternity. You can barely remember the pain of being without him now that he’s in front of you.

You call his name as he kisses the crown of your hair. He backs you into the desk at the far end of the room, lifting you up by the legs to sit on its marble top. He trails his lips down until they meet your own, and he says so tenderly, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up.”

Breaking into a fit of sad laughter, you run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m just happy you’re here with me now.” You kiss him again and again, until your lips feel bruised and sore.

Soobin sheds a tear and looks back into the night outside of his office door. “I don’t have long. They’ll bring me back to my cell soon. But I wanted to tell you I love you. And I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“W-Why are you being punished? You did what you were s-supposed to,” you stutter, a mournful knot building in your throat.

“I fell in love with a human when I shouldn’t have,” he answers, another tear welling in his eye. “But it was worth every rule I broke. How could I regret finding my best friend?” Soobin smiles despite the pain that you two share.

You hiccup into his neck. “When will I see you again?”

“I-I don't know. But I’ll fix this,” he assures you, a steadfast determination in his expression.

“You don’t know that for sure, though,” you cry, heart ripping deeper at the seams with each word.

“I don’t, but for now, know that I love you. I love you more than my existence allows.” He kisses you one more time as the edges of your dream blur. “It’s only for now, I promise.”

When you wake tangled in the comforter on your bed, the morning sky bleeding through your window, you begin the torture of waiting for the person you love most in the world to come back to you.

TWO MONTHS LATER

For the past seven Fridays since Soobin left, you’ve stayed in and waited for the phone to ring or the doorbell to sound, any way to signify that he hasn’t broken his promise. You don’t bother going into work, trying to find any excuse to stay in the house.

Beomgyu tries to get you out, go on dates, avoid the aching hole in your chest, but he doesn’t understand. None of your friends do. They think he’s left without an explanation like another random asshole would, but they don’t understand how wrong they are.

They’ll never understand you’re waiting for the one who took your heart between his hands and still holds it to this day, even if you can’t see him for now.

For now. The words play in your mind on a loop, the sound of Soobin’s voice as vivid as the day he said them between kisses in your dream. It’s only for now, I promise.

This Friday, you take his words to heart and decide to go out. You walk Key and Bori, the morning sun turning into an afternoon sky clear of clouds. The warmer weather signals winter is giving way to spring, although you can still feel the chill in your bones.

When you bring the dogs back home, you’re still too restless to stay inside, too many memories in the house haunting you with Soobin’s presence.

You walk around the town streets, the memories of those you love the most filling your heart with a solemn nostalgia that edges out the parts of you that are still miserable. You and Beomgyu learning to ride bikes around the animal shelter. Your parents treating you to your first scoop of mint chocolate ice cream after you won gold at your spelling contest. The kiss you shared with Soobin in your living room, and all the kisses that followed.

Each one contains longing for the past, yet offers some hope for making fresh memories in the same spots. And even locations you haven’t discovered yet.

By the second trip around the blocks you know too well, nighttime rears its head. The city lights mark the street names and numbers with a yellow glow, the heavens above pitch black.

Your legs are sluggish, ankles sore from continuing through the world around you without stopping for rest, but no physical excursion compared to the mental expedition you’ve been on today, a microcosm for all of your tangled emotions for the past two months.

You almost give into the demands of your body when you hear the faintest sound of your name behind you. Turning on shaking limbs, you see the perfect contours and edges of the man you love in crystal clarity. His shoulders heave as his face remains wet with tears, his body on the verge of convulsing from the travel back to you.

Although every muscle strains and screams inside of you, you run towards him with all of your might and crash into his arms. The water on your cheeks mixes with his when your skin touches. He kisses each tear before he reaches your lips, his mouth tasting of salt and peppermint.

“I’m here. I’m here, my love.” He strokes your hair with his hand and runs the other across your back.

“I didn’t get to say I love you too, last time I saw you,” you say, the words tumbling over one another as you try getting them about. You’re crying and mumbling and it all feels incoherent, but you know every sound you emit is true.

Soobin chuckles, and you’re reminded how beautiful the sound of his laughter is. “You never had to say it back, my love. I already knew.”

Your heartbeat is erratic, but it doesn’t distract you from the fact Soobin’s heart seems to beat as well. A strong, even-tempered rhythm, one you’ve never heard before. You look him deep in the eyes, needing to hear the words on his lips. “Are you—“

His voice is still hoarse and tattered, but his smile is like the salve to all of your wounds. “I told you I would come back to you.”

You whimper, another tear escaping from your eyes. “You gave up everything for me? Your immortality, your friends, your—”

He presses a finger to your lips before running it over your cheek, his expression soft. “I completed my mission. And my everything is right here with me.”

You kiss his lips, all the I love you’s not enough to encapsulate every feeling and gift Soobin’s given you since he came into your life. You both may be on Earth, one old and one new human soul linked as one, but you know this is what it means to be higher than even the immensity of heaven.

@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy @biteyoubiteme @jjunbug

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊

@kstrucknet @k-films @kvanity-main @lapydiaries @moadiarynet @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators

#kstrucknet #keopihausnet #lapydiariesnet #kvanity #soobin fic #soobin fics #choi soobin fic #choi soobin fics #txt fic #txt fics #tomorrow x together fics #tomorrow x together fic #soobin fluff #choi soobin fluff #txt fluff #txt angst #soobin angst #choi soobin angst #[ lexi's works ]

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channoticedmeuwu · 2 years ago

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CHOI SOOBIN AS . . . . ARIANA GRANDE'S 34+35 !

🌙 , ε. ＾꒰⁠⑅. . . ⌨️ ↝´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫. 🖇️⁾⁠⁾

p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — fluff, slightly suggestive, domestic!au (I think), established relationship!au | w — none

a/n — soobin gave me ariana grande positions vibes 🤷‍♀️ I caved, u know me and my soobin agendas..... ++ pls forgive me I'm super sleepy and was feeling emo 😭😭😭

🖇️ READ SOOBIN AS POV !!

cold comforter pulled up till his flushed cheeks, soobin was a drowsy summer night as a person. pink plush lips slightly agape and hooded eyelids, soobin would rest with his forearm on his forehead, slipping into sleep and humming slightly while you talked to him. he'd try nodding, trying to look interested in what you were saying but he couldn't make out a word, too out of it with his eyes threatening to close like that.

so he'd just stare at you up and down, your hands expressing as you spoke, your eyes darting around the room, you rubbing your arms from the cold of the aircon— occasionally flicking your wrist to pull your hair back, which would brush on your face again and again. and he'd find himself in awe, tired smile and giggling with a low voice. and you'd think to yourself damn, he's out of it for real. boy didn't have a care in the world.

and he'd just interrupt you sometimes, his hands finding your waist to pull you closer to him, making you rest your head on his arm as you lay next to him. with your body so close to him, you'd hear the vibrations of his chest everytime he'd reply with a “hmm,” warmth spreading til your cold toes.

and you knew he wasn't listening, when he'd start running his fingers through your hair, bringing his face to rest in the crook of your neck. and you knew he wasn't listening, when you'd feel his lips curl into a smile against your neck as your voice cracked at his contact, fingers circling on your hips. and you knew for a fact that he wasn't listening when he'd start peppering your skin with sleepy kisses, humming at you and asking you to play with his hair.

and eventually, he'd glance up for a breather, lips red n’ puffy and eyes all big, looking at you like you were made for him. it's not that you cared that soobin wasn't listening to you talk at that moment, and he knew that when you smiled at him, thumbs caressing the apples of his cheeks as he rolled his eyes back, melting at your touch.

and when he'd actually fall asleep, chest rising and falling, legs thrown over you and your face in his chest— he'd dream about you, about your mannerisms and the feeling in his stomach when you'd trace shapes on his skin. just soobin falling in n’ out of sleep, waking up in the middle of the night, so fucking dazed that he'd forget that you were literally huddled against him. the lights were still on, the aircon wasn't adjusted to a comfortable temperature, and the humidifier was buzzing at it's loudest setting. but he didn't care, not when you'd sleep soundly, eyes moving behind your closed eyelids as your cheeks were dusted pink, timed gushes of warmth on his chest as you'd let out breaths. and he'd think he was the luckiest boy in the world, so beyond it all, he'd think he's hearing stars twinkling in the night.

and he'd feel like he's falling in love with you all over again when you'd rustle at the sudden lack of warmth when he left the bed to shut the lights. the night lamp illuminating his favorite parts about your face, your eyebrows furrowed as you lifted your head, glancing around to see why your arms suddenly felt empty. and he'd coo—even in your sleepy state, you could hear him smiling as he called from across the room in a sore voice, “m’ right here, sweetheart.”

ε♡з BONUS — pov & positions !

choi soobin wasn't a people pleaser, nor would he go out of his way to adjust others in his time. he was too packed for that, embarrassed but blunt when he'd refuse, suggesting another time.

but for you, fuckin’ christ— the way you'd smile at him, asking if he could spend time with you at the mall that day, or the way you'd link your hands with his when you wanted to take a drive around the city in the evening with him, or if he could distract you from something that was particularly stressful for you— shit had him on his fucking knees. for you, he felt like there was nothing in this world that he wouldn't do if you wanted it.

he'd see you eye a particular type of flower for longer than usual when you'd pass by a florist's shop, and expect a bouquet in your arms by the evening. he'd see the way your fingers scratch against the material of a dress, clearly hesitant, he'd buy it for you as a gift when you'd celebrate any occasion. soobin wasn't rich, hell, he wasn't fucking near that. but knowing that you were there to soothe his shoulders when he needed you to, to allow him to be vulnerable with you when he needed to be, to have someone to come to when he'd spend yet another day, too busy to even eat lunch— it was just a little something he wanted to do for you.

and he'd see your scowl as you'd smack his arm, lecturing him about spending too much on flowers that would wilt anyway, or a dress that would probably never get worn the way it was cut in the most suggestive areas. but it didn't bother him, not when he'd see that your eyes were not at all serious, bright n’ beautiful, staring at him with pretend anger because he knows you wanted it. and he'd tell you to stop worrying about it, because he knew you're not about to show that you obviously liked the gift.

and he'd see you arranging the flowers in a vase as he'd walk past the end of the hall. you hadn't noticed him yet; you were carefully touching the petals and feeling the texture on your fingertips, breathing in the scent and slightly snipping off the thorns, if any. and you wore a smile, a smile he knew all too well, eyes absorbing every outline and shadow the flowers made.

and he'd walk into the room and hear you sigh in frustration from the bathroom, door which was left open by you, and see you struggle to zip up the dress he bought from the back. lips pressed together in focus, you just couldn't do it, not when the zipper kept slipping from your fingers. so he'd walk up to you silently, helping you zip it up as he held your hair back with one hand. and he'd see you hold back a smile at the way it looked on you—perfect.

and when you'd finally face him again before bed, you'd thank him, thank him with such genuinity that he thought he was going to die if he didn't feel your lips against his own. muttering over and over that you didn't need to thank him, not at all. why should you, when you do so much for him, know what to do when he needs you, know where to take him when he's alone—know how to love him and make him feel loved?

txt — masterlist

main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny @kdyism @neotism @bluejaem @radiorenjun @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi

I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

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halaboyz · 1 year ago

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to each's, csb

pairing: non-idol! choi soobin x gn! reader genre: angst wc: 614 warnings: pool notes: inspired by a scene in crazy little thing called love (iykyk)

"Oh hey, y/n... You asked for me?" Of course he'd be confused. You just had 3 full conversations with him, all academic-related this whole school year.

You smile, turning to hide the flower you've been hiding. "It's graduation day! I want to congratulate you for surviving high school." You giggle, and Soobin does the same, congratulating you back. "I called you here alone because I needed to tell you something."

"That is?" Soobin cranes his neck, cheeks turning red at the sudden seriousness of your voice.

"From elementary, silly puppy crushes- to puberty, wanting to be prettier, more elegant, and more presentable in front of... you." You meet his eyes, shy as you try to make your smile smaller. "I've done this and that just for you to notice me, Soobin. Maybe it wasn't really enough, but it was okay." Soobin doesn't reply, even make a noise, which prompts you to chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is, Choi Soobin... I like you. Ever since we were first graders, to high school, to now." You finally hand him the flower you've been tightly holding on to, smiling.

Soobin was dumbfounded and red. He doesn't know how to react, nor what to say. He's been fiddling with his fingers, heaving a sigh of relief. Just as he was about to take the flower from your hands, your classmate, Beomgyu, barges inside the gates to the pool area. "Hey Soobin! Your girlfriend's been finding you every... where... Oops..." His voice trailed off when he saw the scene, and you're the one who's speechless now. Beomgyu quietly leaves with a guilty mouth, smacking his head in the process.

"You... had a girlfriend?" You're the one who's speechless now.

"Look, y/n..." Soobin has no idea what to say. His shyness was taking over him at the wrong time, seeing your eyes get watery. He has a lot to say, and a whole damn lot of smacks reserved just for Beomgyu, but nothing escapes out of his lips.

"Oh, no! It's okay, Soobin!" You sniff, plastering a wide smile on your face. "It's fine, oh my god, I'm so sorry." You quickly wipe your tears away and retract your arm, messily throwing the flower with no care inside your bag as you got your things.

"Y/n, no..." He tries to reach for your arm but you softly decline, turning to see him.

"It's fine, Soobin. Just a stupid crush anyway," You start walking backwards, smile not fading one second and tears continuously flowing anyway.

Just another fucking step and you step into liquid, feeling yourself drown for a second before straightening your knees and regathering your senses.

What a fucking embarrassment.

"Y/n, oh my god, are you okay?" While you were wiping your face along with your tears, you see a glance of Soobin attempting to jump into the pool to check on you. You extend your arm to stop him, waving your hands in front of your face to hide from him.

All those pampering throughout the years for this?

"I'm okay, Soobin." You give him a chuckle, to convince him and probably yourself too, that you were fine. You are going to be. You will be, right?

As you made your way out of the area, Soobin stops himself from going after you even though he was very worried about you. He figures how you must've felt, not getting a single word from him and getting in that situation.

He was fuming towards his friend. But more importantly, he regrets.

He regrets not saying a thing despite feeling the same way towards you. Now, he might have just lost his last chance.

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itaehynz · 7 months ago

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three’s a (choi) charm! ˙ ⋆ . ˚ ☆

19. WILDFLOWER.

warnings: fully written chapter, “wildflower” by billie eilish is the inspiration (i recommend listening to that during this chapter.) little fluff, angst.

beomgyu: when you come in, it should be the first door to your left.

you: thank you, i just got to the building.

you reach the studio beomgyu’s going to be singing in and as you reach the doorknob, you feel your stomach turn with anxiety. this will be your first time seeing beomgyu in person. you know you shouldn’t be as nervous as you are now but you don’t know what to expect. you’re not sure who else is in there and you’re not sure if you’re even ready to face beomgyu after all that’s happened.

putting your anxiety to rest, you build up your strength and twist the door knob to go into the room. once you’re inside, you see soobin and yeonjun seated next to each other. soobin is smiling but yeonjun isn’t. he looks more confused as to why you’re here rather than being happy to see you.

you smile back at soobin before looking into the booth, seeing beomgyu with a small smile on his face, looking at you.

wow, he really is pretty in person. you take in all his features before looking to what he’s holding.

he’s holding a guitar in his hand, assuming he’s going to be playing it. he gives you a small wave before looking away slowly.

your attention is taken away from beomgyu by soobin who’s patting the seat next to him and scooting over slightly. you take a seat next to him, while starting to talk to him about whatever. you can’t help but feel a strong stare on you or in your direction, you know it’s yeonjun but you’re not sure why he’s so upset at the fact that you’re here.

while you and soobin are talking, beomgyu clears his throat getting everyone’s attention. all the others in the room stop their conversations and put their undivided attention on him. the person outside of the booth is fixing the microphone settings before quickly giving beomgyu a thumbs up.

“okay so, i’m going to sing this first as a test run, this song is chihiro by billie eilish. i didn’t know whether to play it in this session but i wanted to try it before the official song, which will be after this.” beomgyu says, ending it off with a soft smile.

the person outside the booth begins playing the track, giving beomgyu another thumbs up.

beomgyu quietly hums before starting,

“to take my love away. when i come back around, will i know what to say?”

“said you won’t forget my name. not today… not tomorrow.”

“kinda strange, feeling sorrow. i got change, yup, you could borrow.”

“when i come back around, will i know what to say? not today, maybe tomorrow.”

“open up the door, can you open up the door? i know you said before you can’t cope with anymore. you told me it was war, said you’d show me what’s in store. i hope it’s not for sure, can you open up the door?”

“did you,” he sings, softly raising his pitch. looking at you threw the booth window.

“take, my love… away? from me. me, me.”

“saw your seat at the counter and i looked away. saw you turn around, but it wasn’t your face. said, “i need to be alone, i’m takin’ a break.”

“how come when i returned, you were gone away?”

“i don’t, i don’t know, why i called. i don’t know you at all, i don’t, know you. not at all.”

“i don’t, i don’t know, why i called. i don’t. know you. at all. i don’t. know you.”

“did you,” he sings once again, this time looking at yeonjun. “take, my love… away. from me?”

“and that’s when you found me.”

“i was waiting, in the garden, contemplatin’. beg your pardon, but there’s a part of me that recognizes you. do you feel that too?”

“when you told me it was serious, were you serious? mmm, they told me they were only curious…”

“now it’s serious.”

“wringing my hands in my lap, and you tell me it’s all been a trap. and you don’t know if you’ll make it back, i say, “no, don’t say that.”

he takes a long pause, before ending off with a short high pitched hum.

everyone claps at his performance, watching as he steps outside of the booth after placing his headphones on the microphone. he closes the door slightly, walking over to you and motioning you to come out with him for a minute. you slowly rise from your seat, walking out with him.

he stops in front of the door, smiling at you before gesturing a hug. you hug him with a smile, wrapping your arms around him. he smells like a mix of lavender and cashmere. you both pull away from each other and just stare. this is the first time you’re seeing each other in person. he chuckles softly, “did you like the song? that one wasn’t for you but i hope you still liked i-” you cut him off by placing a finger over his mouth, “i loved it, beomgyu. your voice is very rich and sweet, it suits the song’s vibe perfectly.”

he smiles at you, bashfully looking down with his hair covering his face. he fixes his bangs while looking back up at you, “thank you, y/n. i was hoping you liked it.” he says softly. “i didn’t know if billie eilish’s voice would be within my range but i thought it would be best to give it a shot, i’m just glad you liked it.”

you nod with a smile, nudging his shoulder playfully. “are you playing your guitar for the next song?” you ask, genuinely wanting to know. he nods, “the song has more of an acoustic backing to it so i figured it would be nice to test my skill and also play for fun.” you smile his words, coming to realize that he did mention a few times that he played guitar.

“alright, let’s see what you got!” you say, motioning to the studio door. he laughs quietly before going back inside with you.

you seat yourself next to soobin once again, who’s talking to yeonjun but it doesn’t seem like either of them are in a good situation. you hear soobin say a few things along the lines of “stop being a dick” and “get over yourself, you have no reason to feel this way.” you choose not to interfere, hoping that they would stop arguing within a few minutes. until then, you go over to the boy working in front of the booth who seems to be around your age.

“he’s a really good singer,” you start, looking at beomgyu. the boy looks up at you with a soft smile, “yeah, he is. you’re y/n, right?” he asks, to which you nod. “i am, what’s your name?” he looks away for second and says, “i’m heeseung, beomgyu’s roommate! i’ve heard a lot about you. good things and very little bad things,” he says with a laugh. you groan at the insinuation toward the issue you had with the three choi’s and laughed it off as well. “yeah, i figured. we’re all okay now, i’m hoping.”

he waves a hand at you, “you guys are all good now, those two aren’t though.” he says, motioning toward yeonjun and soobin, “they’ve been arguing since you and beomgyu took a step out. i don’t know why, though.” he adds.

“they have? they seemed fine when i first came in…” you say, concerned. heeseung shrugs his shoulders, “i hope they resolve whatever issue they have while they’re here. i don’t what to hear them arguing when we get home.”

“i hope they do too, can i sit here with you?” you ask, to which he motions a hand toward the seat and pulls it out for you. you nod as a way of thanking him and sit down before hearing beomgyu strum his guitar to hear the sound and as a way to show that he’s ready.

before heeseung can fix the microphone settings again, you hear the door slam behind you and see yeonjun sitting alone with his fists balled up. you automatically know that soobin took a minute to breathe and walk around before anything escalated, and you’re glad he did. you don’t want a physical fight to break just as much as everyone else does. everyone in the room shares confused glances, including beomgyu who’s seated in the booth. he looks at heeseung and heeseung shrugs with a concerned furrow in his eyebrows.

pushing everything aside, heeseung gives beomgyu a thumbs up signaling that he’s good to start whenever. beomgyu gives one back, ensuring that he’s ready to go and heeseung begins playing the track to a song you’re familiar with.

wildflower.

beomgyu begins strumming his guitar, playing a low note.

“things fall apart, and time breaks your heart. i wasn’t there but i know. he was your boy, showed him the world. but fell out of love and you both let go.”

“he was crying on my shoulder, all i could do was hold him. only made us closer until july.”

he looks at you with soft eyes filled with despair, “now i know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me. i should put it all behind me,” he ticks his head to the side, “shouldn’t i?”

“but i see him, in the back of my mind. all the time. like a fever. like i’m burning alive, like a sign.”

“did i cross the line?”

he stops singing to start humming melodically, like in the song.

“well, good things don’t last. and life moves so fast, i’d never ask who was better.”

“‘cause he couldn’t be, more different from me. happy and free, in leather.” he looks at you once again, singing the lyrics, “and i know that you love me, you don’t need to remind me. wanna put it all behind me, but baby.”

“i see him, in the back of my mind. all the time. feels like a fever, like i’m burning alive, like a sign.”

“did i cross, the line? but every time you touch me, i just wonder how he felt. valentine’s day, cryin’ in the hotel. and i know you didn’t mean to hurt me, so i kept it to myself.”

“and i wonder, do you see him? in the back of your mind? in my eyes.”

he takes a pause for both his voice and the strumming of his guitar. he nods towards heeseung before heeseung quickly changes the microphone settings and nods back towards beomgyu.

he begins strumming on his guitar once more, readying for the last part of the song.

“you say, no one knows you so well. but every time you touch me i just wonder how he felt.”

he looks at you once more, “valentine’s day, crying in the hotel. i know you didn’t mean to hurt me, so i kept it to myself.”

he finishes with the last line, the one that brings tears to your eyes. you feel for him, you thought you understood his pain but the way he sang with so much passion and hurt, it seems as if you didn’t even know the half of it.

he comes out of the booth and goes straight to you, ignoring yeonjun’s stare. you look back to catch yeonjun glaring at the both of you before he leans back in his seat and looks up to the ceiling.

you and beomgyu both share a confused look, soon deciding to take a walk together. as you two leave the room, beomgyu catches your eyes realizing that you have tears pooling in your eyes.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” he asks, concern making its way into his tone. you shake your head reassuring him that it’s nothing and not something he should worry about. he persists on you telling him what’s wrong and you give up sooner than you think.

“it just seems like i didn’t understand half of what you went through, the way you sang. your voice was filled with so much emotion and i guess i just got overwhelmed, i’m sorry it’s really stupid.”

“no, it’s not. don’t tell yourself that ever again, your emotions aren’t stupid, y/n. i’m over the situation but i sang that song when i wasn’t at my best, but trust me. you haven’t misunderstood anything and i meant what i said. i truly do forgive you.” he says, wiping your tears away with his hands.

you smile at him, dropping your head bashfully. he rubs your hair gently and engulfs you into a warm hug. he rubs the back of your head slowly, holding you until your tears are fully gone.

soon after, he begins to go back inside with you following behind.

“i’m sorry i couldn’t take you on an actual date, i wanted to at least meet you in an environment that’s regular for both of us.” he says, smiling sheepishly. you smile at his attempt to make you feel better and rub his shoulder, “it’s fine, beomgyu. there’s plenty of days left in summer so don’t worry about it, i enjoyed being here and listening to you sing anyways.”

his smile grows wider and he drops his head in amusement, “i’m glad you enjoyed being here, plus, i see you’ve met heeseung, he seems to enjoy your company.”

“yeah, he’s really sweet. i should be heading out though, i told huening i’d be back in time for movie night.” you add, sorrow lacing your tone. beomgyu smiles reassuringly, waving a hand at you to show that it’s okay.

“that’s fine, i’m finished for the day anyway. get home safely, y/nie. text me when you get there?”

“will do, gyu.”

MASTERLIST ☆ NEXT ★ PREVIOUS

TAGLIST: @https-yeonjun, @sugaringgcaramel, @boba-beom, @ur-mother-realnotclickbait, @yawn-zi, @txtbrainrot, @soobsfairy444, @wonunuwoo, @coconutjjun, @headlockimnida, @dinosluver, @gwookie, @enzos-shit, @bunnyeonny, @lun4kazumii, @eclipse-777, @h00nerz, send an ask or shoot me a dm to be added! ^^

A/N: hellooo lovelies! this chapter is heavily influenced by wildflower because i’ve been listening to billie eilish very often much these days and i thought the song would fit the vibe of this chapter so much lol 😭 i hope you enjoy!

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st4rbe0m · 7 months ago

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5 stories. 5 seasons. 5 heartbreaks and not enough amends.

SUMMARY ▸ A TXT series based on songs from the album 'Nicole' by NIKI. Each member has their own fic and song attached, fics are interconnected, so a different name is given to characters in other stories. However, the fics can be read as standalones only, there's no needs to follow the order. Hope you enjoy!!

RELEASE SCHEDULE ▸ tba.

TAG LIST ▸ open :) send an ask, dm or comment to be added!!

PAIRING ▸ jock!older! Yeonjun x reader

SUMMARY ▸ The world is about to end. It's crashing and swooping down around you, because tomorrow is the first day of highschool. Not even the most extreme hyperboles can explain the battlefield that is navigating the next 4 years. Luckily, or unluckily, you have the summer to prepare - and maybe a cute older boy as well to put in his 2 cents of tips and tricks. But does the summer ever last forever?

RELEASE DATE ▸ 07/31/24

READ NOW

PAIRING ▸ Soobin x reader

SUMMARY ▸ Firsts are daunting. Firsts are scary and important, after all they're gonna stay in your memory forever. First crush, first kiss, first relationship. It was comforting to know Soobin was your first of everything. A boy with warmth that always engulfed you more than home ever did. This was a new first too - the first autumn without him. Could this ever be like the firsts from before?

RELEASE DATE ▸ tba.

PAIRING ▸ bf! Beomgyu x reader

SUMMARY ▸ College student Beomgyu is a comet. A wonderful, celestial being, unique and rare, leaving a trail of twinkling lights in the sky in its wake. Like all floating objects in space, he was drawn to gravity as well. The gravity of the sun pulled him in. You, his sun, brightening up his wonderful starry vacuum. But the sun attracts everything, leaving a torching flame, and fragmented meteorites behind for its evidence.

RELEASE DATE ▸ tba.

PAIRING ▸ best friend!Taehyun x reader

SUMMARY ▸ Y/N loves love.Love is everywhere of course - a good rainy day, spending time with family, laughing with friends. All of these days were filled with love. Y/N loves Taeyhun. Taehyun is indifferent to love. But he'd do anything for Y/N. That's worth something, right? So why can't he take a chance on it?

RELEASE DATE ▸ tba.

PAIRING ▸ ex!Huening Kai x reader

SUMMARY ▸ It's true that once you date the perfect guy, the most gentleman-ly of the lot, no next would ever compare. Clicking through tabs, swiping on Tinder could never bring back the spark that belonged the world disconnected outside the internet. Alas, it's not like you had a choice now. All you could do now was to move that hovering cursor over his Facebook profile.

RELEASE DATE ▸ tba.

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enluv · 1 year ago

Text

010: I <3 MY GIRLFRIEND! — THAT’S THE THING!

– warnings: dark humor (kms, die, etc jokes!), profanity, simp soobin, lmk if I missed anything!

a/n #1: this chapter is set in the future – when y/n goes on tour!

a/n #2: under the images you'll find a section titled "behind the album" this is where you can find out facts about the characters! make sure to check it out after the chapter.

MASTERLIST / PREV / end!

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ behind the album:

– y/n’s tour lasted six months, it was extended by two and yeji went with her on it! many of her friends flew to visit her on tour :)

– yeonjun doesnt actually have a crush on y/n but they keep up the gag to mess with soobin!!

– soobin did ask y/n to be his girlfriend in person when he saw her

– sunwoo, soobin, keeho, and the rest of the boys are all very good friends, you can often catch the models of the group booking shoots together and the youtubers of the group have series with them all called “saturdays are for the boys” where they go out on dates together

– lotus (the duo group consisting of y/n and yeji) are rumored to have a comeback soon!

coco’s ♡︎ note: I feel like I have so much to say but no words to say it all!! After a month long, that’s the thing has finally come to an end. I started this series with no thought to it, I’d planned it all in one night when I couldn’t sleep and I’m honestly so surprised at what it grew to be. Thank you to everyone who had helped me write it when I was stuck and thank you to those who have continued to support it!! I hope this smau has made you happy as much as it has made me. This may be the end for Y/N and Soobin but it’s not the end for me! Please look out for more to come from me :) Thank you all so much!! As always, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

TTT TAGLIST! - @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @nhularin @neoculturewhat @hyuk4ngel @ddeonubaby @oulspvs @sullystraw @liliyaaaaas-library @rainbowszi @fanfangying1304 @tocupid —TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

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leooooooo23 · 5 months ago

Text

GHOST

Genre : angst, happy ending (?), major character death, pregnancy, depression, no part two (?)

Words : 1121

Not proofread.

“Y/n? She’s waking up! Hun, call the doctor!” I wince hearing my mothers yells.

“Ma?” I slowly open my eyes, my head throbbing with pain. “Where am I?” I look around, slowly adjusting to the light. “Where’s Soobin?”

I look to my mother who had tears welling up in her eyes. Huh? Why is she like that?

“Hunny..” She covered her mouth when sob a came out of her, she took my hands and started softly caressing them. “I love you so much you know?” I smiled, nodding. “I could tell Soobin did too..” Huh? What does she mean, “Did?” “I’m sorry baby…”

“Since the love that you left is all that I get.” “I want you to know that,”

“Bin!” I yelled as I felt soobin lift me up from the sand that I was laying on and put me on his shoulder, “What are you doing?” I punch his back. “Put me down!”

Soobin shook his head as he walked towards the ocean whilst carrying me. “We’re at the beach, you have to go swimming instead of just laying there all day!”

I huffed as i felt my body touch the water. “Put me down! Right this instant!” Soobin laughed whilst nodding. “Whatever you say, princess.”

Soobin laughed as he dropped me onto the ocean, i gasp at the coldness of the water. “Soobin!” I yelled, getting up and slowly stalking my way towards him.

He smiled cheekily at me, before splashing me with water.

…

I stop momentarily, before sprinting towards him. He starts running away from me in fright, “I’m sorry! Please!” He yells.

“Nuh-uh! Get back here Choi Soobin!”

“If I can’t be close to you. I’ll settle for the ghost of you.”

“If it’s a boy? What should we name him?” I ask Soobin, as I cuddled up to him on the bed.

He hums softly. “Soobin JR?” I let out a soft laugh at which he looks at me offendedly, “What? You think I’m not serious?” He pouts.

I look up at him, eyes gazing up at him endearingly. “Okay, sure, whatever you want, my love.” I say, pecking his lips.

He blushes and smiles down at me, showing his bunny like teeth. “I hope our children look like you, and are just as smart as you.”

“What if I want them to look like you?” I tease, Soobin nods his head, “Okay, sure, whatever you want, my love.”

“I miss you more than life.”

Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. I think to myself, whilst staring at Y/n’s face. We were star gazing now. Right outside the beach house her parents owned, and the place we’ve been staying at for a few days now.

“What?” She asks, looking at me.

Ah. Shes caught me. I smile at her softly, “Just looking at my future wife, you know?” I say, smugly, noticing the way her ears slowly turn red at hearing my words.

“Soobin-ah…” She whispers shyly, “Do you want to marry me?”

Its my turn to blush now. “I think that’s my line.” I reach out into my pocket and take out the small velvet box. She gasps seeing it.

I get up and slowly get on one knee in front of her. “Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?” Tears well up in her eyes, nodding enthusiastically.

“Yes! A thousand times yes!”

“If there’s a moment I want to remember forever, it’d be this!” I yell out, putting arms around her waist, spinning her around, “i could die a happy man now because of you Y/n L/n!”

“And if you cant be next to me,”

“I cant believe we’re getting married!” I let out a giggle as Soobin drives the car. “Mom and dad aren’t gonna believe it!”

“About that,” Soobin starts, “I asked them for their blessing first.” He looks at me for a few seconds, smiling brightly.

“No way! My mom agreed?” I clap my hands. My mom never liked Soobin because he wasn’t from a rich family, so I wonder how he got her to agree..

“It wasn’t easy, but for you I’ll do anything.” He says, looking towards the road. “I love you.” He chuckles. I smile at him. “I love you-“

“Your memory is ecstasy.”

The doors open revealing the cold, dark, lonely morgue where Soobin rests. I walk towards him slowly, my mother behind me, watching me with a sad gaze.

I touch his cold face, softly caressing it. “You must be cold..” I say softly, tears falling down my face. “Ma, he doesn’t like the cold.”

I turn towards my mother, who looked at me with pity and tears in her eyes. “We need to get him out of here, its cold and lonely!” I yell, tears pouring down my face.

“Baby..” My mother walks towards me, hugging my form. “You need to say your goodbyes..”

Goodbyes? “Ma.. please, give him back go me,” I sob into her arms, “God, please give him back to me!”

I feel another person engulf my body with a hug. I turn around, hoping its him. “Baby, he’s gone.” My father says calmly, hugging me more tightly.

“No!” I sob, “No! No! No!” I yell out, “Get up, Soobin, Get up!” I looked at his unmoving form.

“You need to eat.” Yeonjun sighs, kneeling down the floor, putting the plate down onto my bed. He looks at me with sadness in his eyes. “Please Y/n…”

I stare past him and look at the window outside. Why is it so bright and sunny? Does the Gods not feel any sadness not that he’s gone? Does any of them not take pity on me?

I feel him touch my hand, squeezing it. “Its been 2 days, you need to eat to get better-“

“Close the curtains.” I say, sitting up slowly. Yeonjun looks towards one of the maids, they immediately shut it.

I stare at the plate on my bed, “Are you gonna eat?” I shake my head, getting up from the bed. Yeonjun sighs, staring at my figure as I try to stand up.

I rip out the syringe in my arm, “Y/n! Are you insane?” I hear Yeonjun yell, holding my arms tightly.

“Where is he?” I let out weakly.

Tears well up in Yeonjuns eyes staring at mine. “Please, let me see him.”

I walk into the funeral hall, all eyes set on me. I hear whispers, but I couldn’t care less about them.

I stop in my tracks as I hear sobs and yells. I look towards the sound.

…

Its Soobins mother. I could tell she was beyond exhausted and longed for her son. Just like me.

“My son!” She sobs, “Give me back my son! Please!” I see Soobins father next to her, unmoving. Just tears running down his face.

“Are you sure you want to be here?” Yeonjun softly asks beside me.

I look at the sight of Soobin’s parents for a few moments before turning in my heels.

“I miss you more than life.”

“Soobinnie..” I softly call out, “Come on, we’re gonna go visit your dad!”

“Okay, mama!” I hear him yell out from his room. I chuckle hearing the sound of soft foot steps going down the stairs.

“Do I look nice?” He asks with a giggle. I turn around seeing him covered in fashionable clothing.

I clap my hands together as he poses, waiting for my approval. “Aigoo, my son is so handsome!” I walk towards him, squeezing his cheeks. “Come on, lets get into the car.”

He nods, taking my hand and leading me into the car.

“I miss you more than life.”

I hold onto the flowers i brought with me, whilst walking towards the place he rests. Our son runs around, looking for his head stone before coming to a stop. “Here mommy!” He yells.

I chuckle watching him as he waves his arms up in the air. “Okay, okay”

I walk towards Soobin, before crouching down, and putting the flowers down. “Hello, my love. I’m sorry I havent been visiting as often.”

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harufluff · 2 years ago

Text

‘where this is going…’ choi soobin

warnings - minor cursing, pretty angsty, sad reader, reader is mentioned to be shorter.

genre - angst, non idol!soobin x gn!reader

wc - about 500

‘why are you doing this…’

you ask, tears about to fall down your face. why was he doing this? if he wanted to, he could end a three year relationship with two words.

‘babe, it’s just-‘

‘don’t call me that.’

you stead sternly. his eyes widened slightly at your tone. you never spoke with him like this. well, guess it’s appropriate for the circumstances.

he held his head low before saying,

‘it’s just, i don’t know where this is going.’

where this is going. those were the words that got the tears flowing. the warm, salty tears rolling down your cheeks. soobin felt his heart clench at the sight of your reddening eyes.

‘please don’t cry.’

‘don’t tell me not to cry when you just said that. when you just said that you don’t see a future in what we have together.’

he looks at you through his dark bangs. hoping, maybe just maybe your tears have stopped. but low and behold they haven’t.

‘it’s not you. it’s just how i feel.’

‘and i respect that,’

you walk up to him and look up at your, well now your ex boyfriend. you blink fast while walking to make sure when you look at him, you come off with more confidence that your currently posses.

‘i respect that you’ve fallen out of love. i respect every damn thing you do, soobin. the truly tragic part about this is that you don’t respect me enough to come up with a better fucking explanation to break up with me.’

fuck, you felt the pricking at your eyes. his hands came up to your face to brush the tears away. for a moment you start leaning into his touch.

‘can’t we…at least stay friends…?’

your eyes slowly rise back to him. as you make eye contact, you nod your head no, with a painful smile painted on your lips.

at that simple action, soobins tears start to come down his face as well. his large hands moved down to your waist as he pulls you closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

you let him cry as you stand there rubbing his back. you stood in this exact position every time he felt stressed about work or anything else. he would always find comfort in the soft, slow circles your gently hands rub into his back.

‘i saw where this was going. i saw us in the future. but now i don’t. i just see myself not with you.’

soobin says calmly, but shakily. you throw your head back, attempting to keep the tears in.

‘bye, bin.’

you take his arms from around your waist and grab your bag with only the necessities along with your phone.

‘goodbye, y/n’

that was the last word you heard from him. you texted him about a week later to pick up your things from your previously shared apartment. but that was it. he was out of your life.

#kflixnet #k labels #txt #txt fluff #txt angst #txt soobin #soobin fluff #choi soobin #soobin choi #soobin x reader #soobin #soobin angst #tomorrow x together #soobin x you #soobin x y/n #choi soobin angst

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izzyy-stuff · 4 months ago

Text

GIRL FRIEND - CHOI SOOBIN

bf!soobin x fem!reader

in which your relationship with your boyfriend starts breaking into pieces as his girl best friend tries to get between the two of you, and for the first time in your relationship with Soobin, you start feeling insecure.

wc 4.1k

warnings angst, pet names, established relationship, featuring an oc Amy as Yeonjun's girlfriend and oc Dae as Beomgyu's girlfriend, soobin has a female friend called Micha, Soobin does mess up a lot, kinda misunderstanding ig(??), there's a few (a lot) texting parts but I was too lazy to make an actual fake text so hopefully it's not unreadable

↪ izzy speaks... rewrote one of my old fics again from my Wattpad acc. You can find the story from Wattpad here. I wanted to give you guys something to read while I work on other stories so you don't have to wait too long, so here it is :))

You had been sitting in the restaurant for more than twenty minutes already, trying to decide if you should leave and cry yourself to sleep or call him. Honestly, the first option sounded better. You didn’t even want to hear from him anymore.

Still, you found the courage and unlocked your phone, opening your contacts. You called once. No response. You called for the second time, letting it ring longer. Still, no response. You could feel the anxiety building up as the phone call went into the mailbox, your boyfriend’s voice echoing in your ear as the pre-recorded line told you to leave a message, promising something about him trying to reach back to you soon.

Your mind was a mess. Did something happen to him? Was he okay? Should you call the hospital and ask if he wasn’t there? Or was he completely okay and just decided to ignore you?

While your mind was full of thoughts, your phone buzzed with a few new messages, making you come back to reality.

Soobie boobie luvie <3

[ 19:46 ]

Soobie boobie luvie <3 Hii baby, what’s up?? Soobie boobie luvie <3 I am sorry, I can’t pick up the phone rn [ you ] Oh [ you ] What are you doing? Soobie boobie luvie <3 I am with Mi you Micha? Soobie boobie luvie <3 Mhmm Soobie boobie luvie <3 She and her boyfriend had an argument Soobie boobie luvie <3 So she asked if she could come hang out for a bit Soobie boobie luvie <3 We’re rewatching jjk [ you ] Oh Soobie boobie luvie <3 Love are u okay? [ you ] Yeah sure Soobie boobie luvie <3 You don’t sound too fine Soobie boobie luvie <3 Do you want to come here too? Soobie boobie luvie <3 You could sleep over Soobie boobie luvie <3 I have cookies [ you ] No, I'm good [ you ] Have fun :)) [ you ] I think I might ask Yeonjun or Beomgyu to hang out [ you ] Maybe they could come to my fav onigiri place with me Soobie boobie luvie <3 Sure <3 Soobie boobie luvie <3 Call me later? Soobie boobie luvie <3 I love you lots [ you ] Mhmm

bestiesss <3

[ 20:12 ]

[ you ] Is anyone free rn? [ you ] Please [ you ] Or I might cry [ you ] For the plot ofc ✌️😙 Jjunnie Girl are you good?? Kaikai What’s going on?? Ams Babes why are we crying Jjunnie Where are you? Jjunnie At least turn on your location so I can come pick u up with Amy [ you ] You don’t need to pick me up [ you ] I just want to hang out withsomeone Gyu (rat) Can’t text Soobin?? [ you ] He might or might not be the reason why I want to cry so no Ams What did he do Imma beat him up [ you ] You don’t need to haha [ you ] Enjoy your night with Yeonjun :)) [ you ] Kai, are you free?? Kaikai Yeah sure I can be whenever soon Gyu (rat) I am coming too 😙😙 Gyu (rat) To annoy the shit out of you and makeyou laugh <3 [ you ] Love you guys <333

It took less than ten minutes for the two boys to come into the onigiri place. Good thing they were open until nine. You smiled, moving your stuff away from the chair beside you so they could sit down comfortably.

“Okay, girl, give me the gossip,” Beomgyu proclaimed immediately as he slid into the chair next to you. Kai simply sat on the opposite side, his eyes as curious as Beomgyu’s. You sighed, taking out your phone again. “Just look at it. I’m going to order another piece to make myself at least a little happy,” you proclaimed, trying to sound as jokingly as possible, but you knew you weren’t doing the best job. You opened the chat for them before standing up from your chair, smiling at them once more to assure them you were fine when you saw the look on their faces. “Wait, put it on my card,” Huening proclaimed, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “You don’t need to,” you shook your head, but before you could even blink, you had his card in front of you.

“Aww, you love me!” Beomgyu exclaimed as if he were alone in the shop. You hit his shoulder immediately. “That’s what you got from the conversation?”

“Well, I just saw that you want to hang out with me, so of course,” he grinned proudly, making you roll your eyes. “I am sorry,” Kai said, pity in his voice. “It’s all good. You guys are here now instead,” you smiled, trying to make it as genuine as possible.

“Okay, but on a serious note–” Beomgyu started again, making you raise your eyebrow. Those were words you couldn't ever imagine coming from his mouth. “Shut up,” he glared at you before you could say anything about it. He knew exactly what you were thinking. “I knew he was an idiot, but this is another level of idiot. You even mentioned this place in the texts. He could have figured it out. I don’t know. I wouldn’t ditch my girl for a different hoe,” he said proudly.

“You don’t need to talk about how great of a boyfriend Dae has again,” Kai stopped him before he could open his mouth again. “Just saying,” Gyu shrugged.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t ditch him either,” you mumbled, taking a bite of your new onigiri. “Why don’t you just text him you had plans? Maybe he would come after all,” Huening suggested, but Beomgyu simply shook his head, deciding to answer instead. “Why would she want a boy who needs to hear he shouldn’t hang out with a different girl when they have plans.”

“Exactly,” you nodded. “And he is already with her. What would he do? Kick her out? I don’t think so.”

“I am going to text him,” Beomgyu stated suddenly, making both you and Kai look his way, your eyes widening. “Don’t, oh my fucking god.”

“No, trust me. I’ll either prove that he is an absolute asshole or you’ll get your date.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea–” Huening tried to stop him, but when he saw Beomgyu already taking out his phone, he just sighed, exchanging a glance with you.

Soob :]

[ 20:37 ]

Gyu :] Dude what are you doing Gyu :] And omfg you better not bring up fucking Micha again Soob :] Okay hello to you too?? Soob :] Since when do you have a problem with her?? Gyu :] Since like now Gyu :] Why am I the one hanging out with your GIRLFRIEND instead of you?? Soob :] She said she wanted to hang out with you what are you talking about Soob :] I told her she could come to my place and sleep here Gyu :] Just stop talking and come here Gyu :] shared location Soob :] I am with Micha rn tho Gyu :] Is she more important than your girlfriend?? Soob :] No?? Gyu :] Then get your ass here Soob :] I can’t just leave her here Soob :] And you’re with her right now Soob :] You can still drop her off at mine when you guys are done talking though?? Gyu :] Omfg you really are an ass Soob :] What did I do???

“Okay so we came to the conclusion that he is an ass,” Gyu sighed, dropping his phone on the table, getting a headache from him. It didn’t matter to him that Soobin was his best friend. If he was being stupid, Beomgyu wasn’t going to be on his side. Especially when he knew his girlfriend didn’t deserve it at all.

“Whatever,” you sighed, not even daring to raise your head and face any of the two. “Do you want to go buy a chocolate? Or ice cream?” Kai suggested, feeling sorry for you. “No, I'm good. Can anyone drop me off, though? I took a taxi here because I thought he would take me back later.”

“I got it,” Beomgyu proclaimed, glancing over at Kai. “Want me to drop you off at Amy’s?”

“No, no, I am just going to go home. She’s with Yeonjun anyway.”

The three of you sat in silence the whole car ride. Even Beomgyu, who went there with the thought of cheering you up, was too scared to say anything. He was worried his jokes could make you feel even worse.

You hugged Kai goodbye as you stepped out of the car, smiling at them and thanking them for coming to see you. But your smile dropped the second you heard the car driving off, feeling your eyes watering. You didn’t want to cry. It was just a stupid date, after all. But you couldn’t stop your tears, no matter how much you tried.

You quickly wiped your tears off, looking at your phone again, deciding to call him.

“Hey, love,” he greeted you immediately, and you could hear the smile on his face as he said it. You smiled a bit, too, greeting him back. “Are you still with Micha?” You asked, unlocking the front door of your apartment. “She left a few minutes ago,” he answered. “Are you coming home now? Can I come by? I want to see you.”

You thought for a while, closing the door behind yourself. “I am kinda tired. Maybe tomorrow?” You suggested, dropping off your coat in the hallway and going straight into your room. “Ah, sorry, I already promised Micha we would hang out, and before that, I have work. I can come sometime after dinner, though? We could watch something.”

“Right,” you mumbled, putting the phone on speaker and throwing it onto your bed so you could get changed into your pajamas. “We’ll see, I guess.”

“Hey, Soobin,” you started again, making him freeze for a moment when he heard his first name. It might have been the first time he heard you call him Soobin since the day he asked you to be his girlfriend. He was always Soob, or Soobie, not Soobin. “I’m going to sleep now, but can you check our shared calendar later?”

“Mhm, of course,” he nodded, still trying to figure out what he did for you to call him Soobin. “Good night, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, hanging up right after. You jumped into your bed, staring at the ceiling for a while, sorting all your thoughts. Eventually, when you saw Soobin blowing up your phone, you turned it off, getting up again to do your hygiene before going to bed.

Soobie boobie luvie <3

[ 21:24 ]

Soobie boobie luvie <3 BABY I AM SO SORRY Soobie boobie luvie <3 PLEASE Soobie boobie luvie <3 I know I fucked up Soobie boobie luvie <3 I should have remembered Soobie boobie luvie <3 Oh god I should have come right away when you called me Soobie boobie luvie <3 I am so so so sorry Soobie boobie luvie <3 Please answer :( Soobie boobie luvie <3 I’ll come over, what do you think? Soobie boobie luvie <3 Please love Soobie boobie luvie <3 I swear I didn’t mean to Soobie boobie luvie <3 I can tell Micha we can’t hang out tomorrow and take you out instead

Soobie boobie luvie <3

[ 07:56 ]

Soobie boobie luvie <3 Love :(( Soobie boobie luvie <3 Please answer me Soobie boobie luvie <3 I want to talk to you Soobie boobie luvie <3 I can come on my lunch break [ you ] Soobie it’s fine [ you ] I made plans with Amy after our call last night so you don’t have to cancel any of your plans [ you ] We can just see each other later :) Soobie boobie luvie <3 It’s not fine at all though Soobie boobie luvie <3 I’ll come by on my lunch break, yea? Soobie boobie luvie <3 I’ll get you flowers Soobie boobie luvie <3 And something good to eat too Soobie boobie luvie <3 I swear I am never going to forget about our date again alright? [ you ] Okay :)) [ you ] I love you soob <3 Soobie boobie luvie <3 I love you too my love

♡⸝⸝

bestiesss <3

[ 17:45 ]

Ams Never Ams And I mean NEVER Ams Trust a man Jjunnie HEY Ams You’re a liar too so shush Jjunnie :((( [ you ] I just don’t get it [ you ] Am I not enough anymore?? Ams That’s it I am coming to beat his ass Gyu (rat) Can I watch Dae<3 Boi Gyu (rat) Yes my love 😍 [ you ] Fuck you :(( Gyu (rat) Hey I didn’t do anything [ you ] You don’t act like that with her when I am not around [ you ] You just want to rub it in my face :( Dae<3 Actually he does act like that nonstop Dae<3 But hey that’s just because he is a weirdo so don’t mind him [ you ] Okay great now she’s on his story Jjunnie Wtfff Jjunnie I should kick his ass too Jjunnie Why the hell is he with her again

unknown

[ 17:54 ]

unknown Heyy girlieee unknown Micha here :)) unknown I am with Soob right now and I saw him trying to call you so I am just reaching out because he looks really sad unknown I don’t know exactly what you did to him but maybe next time think about him too yeah? unknown He wanted to ask you to join us but I don’t think that’s a good idea unknown After you’ve been so bitchy and you know unknown He told me before that he couldn’t see me because of you?? Like that’s some mad controlling behavior unknown Good thing I can just cry a bit and he comes running to me unknown Anyway, there is no need to come here unknown We are having a great time without you

bestiesss <3

[ 17:58 ]

[ you ] Okay stop she is texting me now Gyu (rat) Hope she khs 😙 Dae<3 GYU Gyu (rat) I wish her the worst <3 Ams Give me her number ASAP Jjunnie Alright now she pissed of Amy Jjunnie she really is getting the worst

Soobie boobie luvie <3

[ 18:04 ]

[ you ] Soobin I can’t anymore Soobie boobie luvie <3 Wdym?? [ you ] This [ you ] You can’t even type it out anymore?? [ you ] And her [ you ] Why are you bowling with Micha when we were supposed to go out today?? [ you ] When you texted me it was an emergency and that you couldn’t make it today I thought something bad happened but turns out you just want to be with a different girl Soobie boobie luvie <3 Love it’s not like that Soobie boobie luvie <3 You know she is just a friend [ you ] Is she?? [ you ] Why does she get to see you more often than I do then?? Soobie boobie luvie <3 Come on you’re overreacting now [ you ] Am I?? Soobie boobie luvie <3 Baby just… Soobie boobie luvie <3 Wait a bit Soobie boobie luvie <3 We’ll be done soon and I'll come to see you so we can talk about this okay? [ you ] No not okay [ you ] Remember when you told me you felt insecure about my relationship with Ryan before you found out he is gay?? I feel the exact same way [ you ] But you don’t listen to me at all [ you ] Last week I asked you not to go to lunch with her but you went anyway [ you ] Then I wanted to come over [ you ] But you were too busy listening to her troubles [ you ] And now you are ditching me for her again Soobie boobie luvie <3 Baby it’s different Soobie boobie luvie <3 You would listen to Amy too if she got into an argument with Yeonjun [ you ] I wouldn’t lie to you about it tho?? [ you ] And definitely wouldn’t go if I knew it made you uncomfy [ you ] Soobin this is not the first time I’m bringing it up to you [ you ] And respectfully tell her to stop fucking texting me or I’ll be rude [ you ] She has no right to talk to me about my relationship

Soobin glanced over from his phone at the girl in front of him. She was laughing at how badly she threw the bowling ball before she looked at him again, telling him it was his turn. “Did you text my girlfriend?” He asked, her smile suddenly dropping. “Well, yeah,” she shrugged. “You’ve been looking like someone died this whole time, so I just let her know you called. And that if she doesn’t want to show up, it’s fine, too, since we are having so much fun.”

“Mi, this is none of your business,” he proclaimed, his voice suddenly stronger than she ever felt, angrier. She gulped, her whole body tensing from nervousness. “I’ve been sad the whole day because I miss my girlfriend. Which, by the way, is kind of your fault.”

“I’m…sorry?”

“Whatever,” he sighed, his fingers running through his hair. “You feel all better now, no? I need to go see her now.”

“Wait– but what about–” she tried to stop him, even grabbing the hem of his shirt, but he just shook her off. “We are not like that, Micha. Do not touch me ever again.”

“But I thought…” she started, letting go of his shirt when she saw the look in his eyes. She fucked up. “You were so nice to me. And that night when my boyfriend broke up with me, you–”

“I hugged you. Like any friend would. It was nothing more than that and never will,” he interrupted her. “For fucks sake, I have a girl who I love with my whole heart, what were you even thinking??”

“I don’t know! Maybe that you were having a hard time too when you were with me so much! I thought you liked me!”

“Well, I don’t.”

She stared at him for a while, trying to reach for his hand but he dodged her, not even looking back and walked away, leaving the bowling alley soon after when he grabbed his stuff.

“You should not be calling me right now. I am on your girlfriend’s side in this,” Yeonjun proclaimed when he picked up Soobin’s call. “I know, I know, I’m team girlfriend, too. Always. So please, help me not lose her while I can still save it.” Yeonjun sighed. “Alright, what is your plan?”

♡⸝⸝

It might have been the worst night you ever had. Tightly holding onto your pillow, your back against the wooden headboard, with a box of ice cream on your night table as you let tears run down your face, you couldn’t even think properly. Your mind was full of the happy moments you had spent with your boyfriend, making you smile, until you remembered how he laughed with Micha. You felt terrible. Terrible for not seeing it sooner, and for being so delusional and thinking his eyes were on you only.

You didn’t even notice the night turn into another day as you sat on your bed. But as you saw the light peeking through your window, you knew it was time to come back to the real world. You had work to attend. You still had your daily life to live.

So, in order to concentrate and do that, you decided it was for the best to ignore all his calls.

You never hung up on him. You waited till it stopped ringing, watching his contact name disappear again as a new voicemail popped up on your screen. You didn’t open any of his messages, turning your phone off for the rest of the day when he started spamming you with texts during your meeting.

It was for the best to ignore him.

You tried to convince yourself, but every time you had a free minute at work, your eyes wandered to your phone, wishing for his name to pop up on your screen again.

You needed to do something. Yell at him, cry, or even just hug him.

But it felt like it was too late for that now.

As if you had fucked up everything you could.

♡⸝⸝

You sat on your bed again, scrolling through e-shops while waiting for Yeonjun to come over. He called you not so long ago, saying he was taking you out. You tried to refuse at first, but he wasn’t giving up, so it was eventually you who gave in. You haven't heard anything from Soobin since the afternoon, and honestly, it was stressing you out. You really needed Yeonjun to come and get your mind somewhere else. Somewhere where you wouldn’t need to think about the handsome giant Soobin was.

But Yeonjun thought differently.

“Where are we going?” You wondered, looking out of the car’s window. “Coffee shop,” he finally admitted, stopping at the red light in front of him. Your eyes widened as you looked at him. “You’re taking me to get coffee? Stop, I love you.” He laughed, shaking his head at you.

Yeonjun parked his car in front of his favorite café, getting out of the car first so he could help you out. You simply smiled at him when he opened the door for you, jumping out of the car and looking around the place. You thought you tried out every café shop possible already, but turns out this one was still an exception.

“Thank you. For everything,” you smiled at him as he locked the car’s door. “No need,” he shook his head. “Go inside and order something nice. I am going to call Amy real quick, okay?” You nodded to him, not saying anything else, and simply walked into the café.

That was when you saw him in the corner, a cup of coffee already in front of him. You sighed, glancing outside at Yeonjun, who was mounting for you to join him there. You took a deep breath before turning around again and walking towards the table of two the black-haired boy occupied.

“Hey,” you smiled a bit, catching his attention immediately.

“Hey, love,” he smiled, his smile making you melt almost immediately. He moved the cup of iced coffee closer to you as you sat down before glancing at Yeonjun outside, exchanging some looks with him.

“What’s this?” You asked, taking the cup of coffee and taking a sip right away.

“I needed to see you,” he proclaimed. “Soobin,” you breathed out, the nervousness in him building up with each second. “Wait, let me talk first, please.” You calmly nodded to him, shifting in your place to sit more comfortably. “You can scream at me all you want after or do whatever you feel like in the moment, but let me just say a few things first.”

“So, first of all, I blocked her. Everywhere. And I know it doesn’t apologize for anything I did until now, but I wanted you to know. She said something about thinking we were more than just friends earlier, so I turned her down immediately. I told her not to get close to me again and that I love you. I am so sorry for not seeing it before and doing things I shouldn’t. I wish I could change everything. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable and make you feel like I did. I just…, I don’t know,” he breathed out.

“I don’t have any excuses. I know I behaved like an absolute asshole, and you have all rights to be mad at me and even break up with me if that’s what you want to do, but I hope you don’t because I have no idea what I’d do without you,” Soobin started talking faster and faster, making it almost impossible for you to understand what he was saying. Yet, you found your lips curving into a smile as you listened to his chaotic yap.

You sat silently during his speech and even a bit after he finished, eventually reaching for his hand on the table. “I don’t want to break up with you,” you assured him. “I just…I don’t know either, if I am honest,” you sighed. “I am glad you cut her off, though. I don’t want to sound like I don’t want you to have friends. That’s not it at all, but I simply… felt so insecure when I saw you two together,” you admitted. “I felt like I wasn’t enough,” you whispered.

“Love, you are more than I deserve,” he assured you. “I promise I won't ever make you feel like that again. And if I do, for whatever reason, tell me immediately, and I will do everything I can to change it. Nothing is more important to me than making you comfortable.”

“Okay,” you nodded, smiling. “Let’s just go home now, please,” he said, squeezing your hand in his. “Let’s do that,” you agreed, standing up from your place and leaning towards him.

In that moment, with your hands intertwined and your lips gently pressed on his, you felt like the whole world stopped spinning for a moment. As if it was just the two of you in the café, both nineteen again, as you kissed for the first time, confessing your love to each other. His kiss made you forget about everything bad that ever happened between you, leaving only the happy memories.

“Let’s go home, Soobie,” you mumbled against his lips, smiling as he breathed out in relief. Only then did you realize it was always you and your boyfriend against the world until the very end.

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