#Nat1 Adventures

[chrisschallertideaengine]

Nat1 Adventures: The Pirates of Penzance!

I found this one in my backlog while I was trying to find a different email. There isn’t much here, but you might get a chuckle or two. Also, if you haven’t watched “The Pirates of Penzance” or listened to it or performed in it, I recommend all three. — DM: Alright, you are sneaking up on General Stanley’s mansion. Roll Stealth. Pirates: (roll 1,4,2,4,13,4) DM: (deep breath) Pirates: We’re…

[idealteeth]

(this wasnt actually posted on cohost apparently but also april 14 2024)

she save me life...

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

AU Prompt #6 💓♪

Time slowed to a full stop around you as you focused, the chaos surrounding the silver tree all brought to a halt. Not even Pure Vanila Cookie or White Lily Cookie could move a singular fiber of their being. Such is the perks of having Dungeon Master Cookie as your patron. And, speaking of your patron, she stared down at you with her huge, white eyes. " So, the seal upon the silver tree has broken, thus releasing the five Fallen Heroes into the land of Earthbread once more. Now, Reader Cookie, I suspect you want to do something before I have you roll initiative, yes?" " That's correct, Dungeon Master Cookie." You reply, staring up at the holy, towering figure. However all the seriousness of this moment was thrown out of the window with a few, simple words. " I'd like to roll to seduce the Jester." Your patron seemed... unamused? Yet also as if she were expecting this. After all you did the exact same thing with Dark Enchantress Cookie, but that was just for the funny(plus, you got a nat1 that time). You were completely serious about attempting to woo Shadow Milk Cookie, maybe even another one of the Beasts if they showed themselves. " Are- Are you seriously doing this again?" She asked exasperatedly, to which you eagerly nodded. With a sigh and a wave of her hand, a D20 appeared in your arms. " Fine, fine, give me a Charisma check." And once again, fate blesses you. With a natural 20. " ... NAT 20 LET'S GOOOOO!!!!" You can feel the tired aura from Dungeon Master Cookie. " Alright, alright... I'll let you have this." She sighed as the world faded back into motion. You stood tall and proud next to Pure Vanilla Cookie + Gingerbrave and Friends before you stepped forwards. You're pretty sure that you gave PV war flashbacks with the expression on your face. " Reader Cookie for the love of the Witches-" He attempted to plead, but it was already far too late. " Shadow Milk Cookie, hm?" You began, your tone flirty as it always was when you did shit like this. " What a fine name for such a clearly ever so powerful cookie~" You hummed flirtatiously, batting your eyelashes at the gigantic jester before you. " Oh?" Shadow Milk Cookie hummed, leaning down to get a better look at you. " My my! I didn't think I had such an adoring fan of mine waiting for me here~!" He chirped, a subtle yet bright blue hue taking over his face. " Lord have mercy on us all..." Pure Vanilla Cookie mumbled to himself almost desperately. If both you and Shadow Milk Cookie are flirts... then you'll probably be here, locked in a battle of the heart for a while.

....

Or, You, Reader Cookie, have a Patron named Dungeon Master Cookie. Cue DnD shenanigans brought to the world of Cookie Run. And of course, the natural chaos a nat20 brings when you decide to flirt with the bbeg of the current adventure.

[mothnem]

Been reading the Metru Nui adventures and WOW are they.Toa Metru hilariously dysfunctional! One way, Nokama and Vakama are sharing the team braincell, and Onewa uses it for snark half the time! XDD

The Visorak make for very intimidating foes. More so than the Vahki could be. Though the Bohrok still have the better design IMO

Agreed! If the Metru Nui arc was a dnd game, the Toa Metru rolls either nat20s or nat1s so spectacular it cancels out the original problem with a new and interesting one.

The Bohrok design is Iconic! It's hard to beat it! I personally think that Visorak and the Vahki are equally intimidating for different reasons. The Vahki aren't alive. They were made to keep the POPULATION under control. A literal Police State. And the methods they use to capture their fugitive are horrifying. BUT The Visorak are no slouches either. Spiders that can mutate you? That HUNT you down and trap you? And then you find out it isn't even just them being Rahi and doing what their nature demands, someone COMMANDED them to hunt you down. They are intelligent enough to understand loyalty and commands? Scary as hell.

[nolongerphantom]

Side blogs:

@littlespacemarki - our littlespace blog

@antidepressi0n - Anti's blog

@clusterb-pd - cluster b culture is... Blog

@gender-madness - funky gender reblogs/posts

@phantomhunting - writing & art blog

@markistims - stimboards blog

@nat1-20-stories - DND nat 1 / nat 20 stories blog

@untitledmessys - system blog

@ask-the-adventure-team - our DND party's ask blog

@adriftsmpcoolblogs - Adriftsmp official blog! (I'm one of the admins)

[e-adlirez]

Hiiii I noticed you use a lot of DnD terminology for your posts (especially when you're talking about Vi's terrible luck in the Special Editions haha) What do they mean?

Hi ye haha so uh I'm not exactly a D&D player (tho I really wanna play a game at some point), but I have been dabbling into the fandom and picked up some of the terms in the process. Putting this out there because I could be totally wrong about them for all I know :D

OKAY SO

skill check: these things happen very frequently, and it's just a check to see if your character is successful or unsuccessful at something. Sounds simple, but it's basically what allows D&D to function as a game.

d20: a 20-sided die. The most commonly used die in D&D, and is usually the one used in skill checks. (That's why Critical Role and a lot of D&D YouTube channels used the intricate hexagonal shape as a logo-- that's a d20 being implemented into a logo). Usually, the higher the number, the more successful you are in performing a task.

nat20/nat1: The "nat" means "natural", meaning no modifiers or additions were made to your roll to get that number. nat20 means you rolled a 20 on your die, which is normally the most successful a roll you can get-- if you rolled for your success in climbing a rock cliff, a nat20 means you're climbing like those pro rock climbers. In contrast, a nat1 is the lowest roll you can get (literally a 1), and thus your attempt at whatever task you're rolling for is a critical failure-- if we're using the rock climbing analogy, then either you're too weak/heavy to even push yourself off the ground, or you just.... slip and fall down and maybe break your back on the pavement. Depends on the DM, really.

DM or Dungeon Master/Game Master: Basically the role Matthew Mercer plays in Critical Role, if you know that show. Since D&D is a tabletop RPG, you need someone to lay out the scene for you, what world you're playing in, what's going on, what your characters are doing; and also supervise the players at the table so no one is up to any bullshnit. The DM is the one doing all that :D from the worldbuilding to the NPCs to asking for skill checks-- that's the DM's role in the game.

Campaign: the adventure the DM is running/making for the table of players :D technically TV shows could be campaigns if you squint.

Session: If an adventure is like a TV show, a session is like an episode. It's a moment where everyone involved in a certain campaign sits down and do D&D campaign stuff for as long as the session lasts. (I'm seeing in my research that 4 hours is the average time a session can last, but it could be longer.)

[insert thing] check: No skill check is made equal, and thus there are different skill checks with different names. No worries, you still roll them with a d20, the only difference is what you're rolling for. So if I say "X succeeds/fails at a [capitalized term] check", that's what that is.

(This next bit is basically a look into uh skill check things that I may or may not mention once or twice or maybe seven times in my rambles lmao)

Stats: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. (Disclaimer: Intelligence is not like IQ intelligence in D&D; it's more the pop culture interpretation of intelligence, aka how much of a nerd you are and how much of the Bee Movie script you've memorized /j)

Constitution: Constitution refers to your general health. How healthy is your body? How much health do you have? How good are you at holding your liquor? If you get sick, how long are you Peter-Griffined for? How far can you run without starting to wheeze like an asthmatic? That stuff is up to your Constitution.

Perception: How much information a character peeps from something at a first glance, aka how much of the things in a room (for example) do you notice subconsciously as you're maybe walking in and seeing it for the first time. Perception is a Wisdom-based check.

Investigation: If Perception is how much you peep at a first glance, Investigation is how much you gather from actually searching. This is the one the girls do the most basically-- it's pretty much their bread and butter :3 (it's an Intelligence-based check)

Dexterity: The stat Vi keeps flubbing for some reason /j In all seriousness, Dexterity as a stat means reaction time, hand-eye coordination, flexibility, balance, and stuff like that. Stuff like Acrobatics, Stealth, and Sleight of Hand are Dexterity-based checks.

Athletics: Exactly what it says on the tin. Athletics checks take a peek at your strength, speed, and other athletic thingies to see if you're sprinting like an Olympian track runner or tripping over your robes and faceplanting into the floor. The only Strength-based check iirc

Persuasion: A Charisma check, and is also exactly what it says on the tin, but it can be interpreted.... a lot of different ways. Whether it's putting that persuasive speaking lessons you had in high school, or uh bringing your horny fantasies to life-- as long as you're attempting to persuade someone, that's a Persuasion check.

Intimidation: When you t-pose on someone, how much do you assert dominance? Do you assert it so much that they're begging for their life and willing to do whatever you tell them? Depends on your Charisma and your d20.

I think those are the ones I typically use? Lemme know if I missed one haha

[tanoraqui]

In an ongoing urban campaign, one of our first adventures was exploring a tunnel system under the city and fighting some undead, weirdly Greek monsters, etc… Early on, my fighter nat1’d a History check about the tunnels, and someone—the DM? me? another player? it’s lost to the mists of time—suggested that the only thing I knew about the secret tunnels was that mole people were said to live in them. With the nat1, I was now absolutely certain that we were looking at proof of the legendary mole people.

Almost every single time I’ve rolled a nat1 since in that game, I’ve made it somehow about the mole people that my fighter is 100% certain exist. Failed Perception check? I heard scurrying and saw a giant hairless tale whipping around that corner! Failed attack? I saw a mole (normal-sized) dart into that bush a got distracted—do you think they carry messengers for their human-sized masters? And obviously any failed knowledge-type check (History, Nature, etc) turns up more details of the urban legend…

I think one of my favorite DnD Things is when random rolls become retroactive Lore/Quirks for the character. Not even as a DM ruling, I mean something the whole table adopts organically, whether seriously or as a running joke.

A paladin I DMd for failing every single perception roll turned into him canonically needing glasses and not realizing it.

A combination of failed perception checks and concentration saves becoming a character having ADHD and that getting worked into the acting.

My gnome barbarian with low intimidation rolls despite doing/saying some actually terrifying things suddenly having a voice that cracks like the "WHEN WILL YOU LEARN?! WHEN WILL YOU LEARN?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS!! HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!" kid when he shouts.

Or my favorite, my tabaxi artificer, Gus, comedically failing every religion check when it comes to praying so now it's a whole plot point that gods literally do not perceive him.

(Yes this is an invitation to reply or tell me in the tags if you've had any canon-altering rolls like this I love PC stories)

[whack-patty]

alright everybody here's that devo and caper comic i promised yall

Context below the cut; I had a dream abt a month ago

Devo La Main from TAZ; Ethersea and my dnd oc from this semester named Caper were on a team with a ton of other ppl. They were going on a heist, targeting SOMETHING hidden on a flying (through the air) battleship, kind of like Koda ((sentient and kind of psychic, that vibe)). Devo and Caper specifically were on a team, and they split off from the rest of their group. Those two are both bards with a specialty in like...psychic, mind control and occasionally sound-based magic, so they knew how each other worked well.

Not long after getting on the ship, a red light came on high above everyone---and suddenly Devo turned around and clocked Caper RIGHT in the schnoz

He had a red light glowing right on his forehead and some kinda horrible hate in his eyes and he and Caper threw HANDS

Caper started sloooowly to feel it too. Whatever the red light thing was was charmed-person style just. filling the ENTIRE heist team with hatred towards one another. In the blur of the fight Caper could see the rest of the heist teammates all fighting each other, and not a SINGLE one of them fighting the actual people who worked on the boat.

...she didnt see ANYBODY on the boat who wasnt part of the heist team, actually. hm

anyway Devo and Caper got in a fist fight

Did either of them think to use their cool epic sexy magic powers? No

They just used their tiny little paper bard fists

Good for them tbh

They needed the workout

Anyway at one point Devo tackled Caper so hard they both fell backwards off the boat

And once they were out of range, the Wrath Magic wore off, and now they were just plummeting through the air and TERRIFIED

Dreamlogic likes to do funny things so of course in THIS dream, Devo could both Featherfall (so he did) and could Swim (so he did). While Caper could NOT Featherfall (so she didn't) and could NOT Swim (so she didn't).

When she hit the water, she heard a big voice ask her player to roll on the wild magic table, and. well. I got a bad roll (sorry Caper)

So a ball of lightning started forming in front of her chest, which is VERY EXTRA BAD UNDERWATER

And it did the iron man lazer blast thing and PZCHEWWSWEFJKDS out of nowhere

Caper was still kinda pissed so she tried to aim for Devo (thank gravy)

The rest of the dream was Caper being absolutely c o o k e d and poor Devo trying to swim her to the shore, while in the background the giant boat started to fall towards the ocean

Yeah

Anyway the Final for this class was to draw a comic book cover and two pages out of context of a comic, so I picked two cinematic scenes from the dream :^)

[nauticalnerd]

Running a game of Curse of Strahd today! Very excited as it's my first time Dming the module! Possibly going to live stream if anyone would be interested!

[youling-the-ghost]

As a D&D fanatic I believe I can help with the first thing :] (I'm by no means a professional but I've been playing for a couple of years so I feel pretty confident explaining the basics)

So D&D is a fantasy tabletop roleplaying game, so it's similar to a board game but you roleplay as different characters and go on adventures. A D&D campaign is one of those adventures.

(Basically imagine if the concept of a board game was created by a bunch of theatre kids, if that makes sense?)

There are players and there's a dungeon master (DM). The players create characters based on a character sheet (there are different versions but the most widely-used one and the one that sfth use is the 5E version). Each character has a race, class, and background that the player gets to choose (I'll explain those later on). There's also an online character builder using the website D&D Beyond which is a lot friendlier for beginners (I personally use this because I'm lazy as hell).

The DM is the person who runs the campaign. This involves planning the adventure, telling the story, managing fights, playing NPCs and so much more. For Roll From The Hip, the DM will be Tom Midgley (I'm not sure if it's gonna be for all campaigns but he's definitely gonna be the DM for plagueround).

A big part of D&D is the encounters and battles with NPCs. These encounters are managed by dice, which is also one of the things that D&D is most known for. If you ever see the letter d next to some number, then that's probably referring to a die (a d20 is a 20-sided die, just for example).

Here's some common D&D terminology that might be useful:

nat20 - when you roll a d20 and get a 20

nat1 - when you roll a die and get a 1

ability score - a number from -5 to +5 that represents the character's proficiency in that ability (the 6 abilities that a character can have scores for are strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma)

ability check - happens when a player wants to perform an action, wherein the player in question has to roll a d20 and add their ability score to see if they pass the check. The DM decides on the outcome depending on how high the player rolled. (for example: the DM might ask a player to do a strength check if they want to punch down a door)

skill - specific aspects of the abilities that the DM can ask a player to roll; skill modifiers are largely the same as their respective ability modifiers, although skills that the character is proficient in would have a higher modifier (see the next bullet point)

proficiency - when a player is proficient in a skill or weapon, their modifier for that skill will be increased by their proficiency bonus (which is decided by the character's level)

AC - stands for armour class; basically how high someone has to roll in order to deal damage to the character in question

GP, SP, CP - stands for gold piece, silver piece, and copper piece respectively; the currency used in D&D

Also remember those things that I mentioned earlier (race, class, stats)? Well here's what they all mean :D

Race: basically which species the character is. Some examples are human, elf, dwarf, tiefling (human with demon-like features), and dragonborn (human with dragon-like features). The character's race will affect their ability scores as well as their proficiencies.

Class: You might've heard of barbarian, bard, and sorcerer on the interwebs before. Those are all classes. A character's class defines the character's abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Each class has its unique abilities, and some can even do magic (called spellcasters)! A character's class is arguably their most important aspect, since it dictates so much of their abilities and proficiencies.

Background: Think of it as the character's origins. Is your character from a well-off family or a thief on the streets? Are they a studious prodigy or do they live in the forest? Things like this are explained by the character's background. (please note that a character's background is NOT the same as their backstory, the background is more practical as it gives the character proficiencies and certain objects that they might have. a thief would have proficiency in slight of hand, for example)

There's so much more to D&D but that's like the very basic-level stuff :] my ask box is always open if y'all have any more questions!

questionnaire time: 1) Are lucas and Ashen canon or u just making it up? 2) What is up with Spanish Jesus and the plot of Nun and the monkey?

3) How does dnd work?

[death-by-crit-fail]

pacifist healer, with a -1 mod to strength, trying to hit a zombie with a quarterstaff:

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Fifteen things I noted about CR2E105 “Rumble at Rumblecusp”

My god, Sam's ads for NordVPN now have a title. And what a title that is : "Nord by NordWest : The Quest for the UltraKodex Reloaded"

Actors and accents fascinate me. So I was over the moon with the Jester and Caleb scene.

Important update : Sprinkle ? Still alive. Still waiting for the sweet sweet embrace of death.

"I'm not sad !" said Jester, wiping small tears of her eyes. Ouch. This moment defines her so much.

Beau : "We're protective of you, and defensive of you. We're here because of Jester, not because of the Traveler Con. Honestly... all you have to do is say the word, and we'll do whatever you want. It's always been the case. Also, if he hurts you, I'll kill him, you know ?" BEAU YOUR CRUSH IS SHOWING

Yasha : "Jester, I hope you know how special you are. Just you, even without the Traveler. We all think you're pretty amazing." EVERYBODY HAS A CRUSH ON JESTER

Caleb : "Something's off with me. I'm in a good mood." The others : "You're happy ? Something is DEFINITELY WRONG !!!"

Awwww, they tried and tried to do "Goristro versus Vorugal 2 : Electric Bogaloo" with the Dragon Turtle and Vokodo, but it needed a huge persuasion check... Jester missed it by 1 unfortunately... It could have been so great !

Another great euphemism scene, brought to you mostly by Laura. Matt, describing Caleb setting the ship on fire : "It does take you a while, because, one, it's a moist interior, and looks like a lot of the wood here is somewhat..." (Laura giggles) Matt : "...So it takes you a while to get the wood..." Liam, laughing now : "Tell me more about the wood." Matt, also laughing : "You get the wood dry enough." Travis, also laughing : "Dry that wood." Marisha, finishing killing the cast : "Mm-hmm. Make it so dry for you." (cue sounds of disgust)

AVOCADO CAN REDIRECT SPELLS ? Normally I don't do that, I wait after the battle, but here I was, googling the kind of monster he is and getting all the deets on D&D Beyond.

"THANKS, KEYLETH'S MOM !!" amazing joke Sam

Beau and Caduceus's Amazing Adventures in Space (while their friends are busy at the boss battle)

I can't believe they successfully Banished Avocado only to make him come back last second because of ALL THE TREASURE (to be fair I would have chosen that too)

Liam delighted at the idea that Caleb could cast Disintegrate only to have that reflected on another member of the party. Liam, joking : "I've waited for this since Campaign 1. I've always wanted to kill a Marisha character." Marisha : "Keep your fetishes to yourself." ASKSHFDQSF

That last nat1 though. I don't know who Matt would have chosen as the target, but if it had been someone with less than 72HP, they would have been dead and disappeared, and Caleb would have been DESTROYED in his soul.

[lazywitchling]

how did the player’s handbook shape your witchcraft? i just bought a copy, and now i’m curious what your thoughts are!

This one is maybe a little more complicated than the Tolkien one, so stay with me here. I'll do my best to explain.

For me, luck and chance are kinda 'sacred concepts'. That's maybe not the right term to use, 'cause it sounds borderline religious. But it's important to my worldview.

I'll be real, I just typed out a massive paragraph that absolutely read like the Charlie Day conspiracy board meme, and then I deleted it.

So let's just say this: The odds of the entire cosmos and all of history and humanity lining up exactly as it did to bring you to my inbox today? Well that's a really big fucking coincidence.

A lot of people say that our existence has to be because of some divinity, some higher power, God or gods or The Universe or whatever, because there has to be something bigger than us writing the story, right? There has to be some higher power pulling the cosmic strings, right? Because otherwise, why are we here? Why do we have consciousness? What is the meaning of life? Is our small human existence really just... one... big... cosmic... coincidence?

My answer: Yep! Sheer chance.

"Oh wow, Jes, that's a really dim view of things, isn't it?"

Nope! No no no, because see... "Chance" is not all there is. Because we also have narrative.

I met my best friend through tumblr because she happened upon a blog of mine via the broken tag system of this blue hellsite. Total coincidence, right? Well, yeah. But while our meeting was chance, our friendship is not. I had to place significance on her being in my life. She had to place significance on me being in hers. We happened to cross each others paths via chance, but our narrative, the story we are constantly telling ourselves about our own lives, said "Hey, this person is cool and I want to talk to her more." The meeting was coincidence, but we made it important. We said "This person is important to me, and I am going to make the effort to talk to her more."

What was the cosmic ~*~meaning~*~ of that meeting? Well, nothing, until we gave it one. We made it significant.

idk, I'm thinking also on what ei-len said a while back: "The witch is a component of the spell". This might be a stretch of that quote, but stay with me here. I see a lot of people around witchblr see things that they think are omens, signs, deities reaching out to them, something. And they go ask other witch blogs "I saw a crow on my way to work! What does it mean??" My answer: Nothing on its own, really. But it's not on its own. You saw it. You are a part of the story here too. What does it mean to you at this time? Don't remove yourself from the equation here. A crow on its own is just a crow being a crow. But if you're walking through the park and you're sad and you're wishing for a sign from the universe that everything is going to be okay, and then a crow shows up in your path, and you love crows and they're your favorite animal, and it just happened to show up right when you needed it to... well. That's something special, isn't it? Now it's a sign. It's a sign because you were there! And you are part of this sign, too!

Now what the FUCK does this have to do with D&D?!

Roll a D20. What's it land on? 5. Damn. Roll another one. What's it land on? 17. Ooh yay! Roll another one. Natural 20!! FUCK YEAH!!!

Every single side on that die has the same chance of coming up. You have as much of a chance of rolling a 5 or a 12 or a 17 as you do a nat20 or a nat1. But we (or Wizards of the Coast, rather) have decided that certain numbers mean certain things. We've put meaning to chance. And we use that to create stories, adventures, emotional connections, big epic tales where we're the heroes who save the world.

Your narrative affects chance, it affects what you roll for. And then that roll, the chance, in turn affects your narrative. It shapes your story. And again through the cycle, your story affects chance once again. And on and on and on.

Life kinda works that way too, if you pay attention.

[patchdotexe]

doip.: session 2 / 7.25.21

does antartica have a taco bell?

LAST TIME ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK: we went to gnomengarde! and got shot a lot. jorb: [dramatic voice while dbz recap music plays] can you tell i didn't practice this one! do a cool dance. think about your friend named pog

okay so! the shapechangers ate 2 people in 2 diff locations. it'd also previously attacked king korboz in the form of a rug, so it can be. a rug. dabbledob and fibblestib are great names. time to kidnap them

i'm out of touch. i'm outta tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

the shapechanger's attacked 3 times, but only managed to eat 2 people. hmm. also these only started happening within the last 10 days. also a week is 10 days. leo: like blaseball! jorb: [laughs] like blaseball. leo: a blaseball week is 9 days! jorb: in the last blaseball,

oops i'm getting pinged time for liquid friend and max to be depressed about jaybot getting trapped in the vault! (i'm not actually blaseball rping during d&d, friend's mun just wanted to know if she could start a thread hlfdgxhdfg)

Return of Dabbledob dabbledob has summoned the Stick Squadron (she came back with 4 gnomes with sticks - jabby, delibean, unbern, and zook . oh my god.) i love the stick squadron already. HOIP

LITTLE GUY ROLLED A NAT20 ON INVESTIGATING NIIIIIIICE no sign of anything so far! also wow michael is good at being a protagonist michael: real quick.. do any of the barrels look like they're on an animation cel?

awww i love the stick squad

meanwhile on twitter: bread angst (it makes sense in context)

WHOOPS toby found a mouth barrel hm. the mimic is sticky. that's a problem. little guy is stuck to it. jorb: what, you think its true form is a barrel?! michael: i thought it was confined to the laws of barrels!

FUCK ME. I ROLLED A NAT1. i shot the barrel next to the mimic and now there's wine EVERYWHERE this is a TRAGEDY

jorb: [adding the wine puddle to the map] michael: what colour is it? leo: choose your answer wisely.

time to spill Even More Wine. this continues to be a tragedy. i've decided to not set the room on fire

i've changed my mind i'm going to set the room on fire NAT 20 TO SET THE ROOM ON FIRE LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

alidaar is stuck to the mimic! That's The Mimic's Problem. leo, instantly: i'm gonna use my breath weapon. ALIDAAR GETS THE KILL YES god. dual wielder is so good. we did it!

little guy and tobias: [having a heartfelt moment] alidaar: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

little guy: i'm sorry i didn't tell you tobias: ..that you can mend barrels? little guy: i didn't tell you i'm not what you thought i was!! tobias: i couldn't talk to you until yesterday!

leo: i roll to have braincells. --i have 16 of them!

alidaar: hey tobias, do you know what a druid is.

i could pick up and throw charlie michael: you could bowl a charlie. nyx: you can bowl a nameless!

i wanna be a vtuber

okay so. we now know little guy is a druid! tobias did a minor illusion of a really fat binturong and then hugged it. which made him clip inside it.

michael: god damn adventurers and their refusal to respect hitboxes

michael: i put on a skimpy outfit and just start z-fighting with my skin

nyx: how much glue do you need to glue an entire person to a chair?! leo: less than you'd think. nyx: what kind of glue is it?! jorb: uhhh the good kind

the kings are gay

we're putting little guy in a barrel crab barrel crab go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

tadaa! :partytaco:

[chaos-burst]

is there any info rmation on your blog about your dnd party? maybe i just missed it?

I don’t think I ever properly introduced my babes, maybe before the campaign started, but that was when secrets were still had and backstories hadn’t been revealed. So I suppose I can gush a bit about my band of disasters :D

Gerd Luthgerd - Dwarven dad! Life Domain Cleric! A country dwarf who wanted nothing else than to live his life in peace with his wife and daughter and her wife and the grandchildren and their sheep... But unfortunately his whole village got sick with the exception of him, his wife and his daughter. Now he is the follower of a god who only has the one follower (aka Gerd) and who is the only thing that keeps the sickness at bay! Gerd set out to find a cure for the strange illness that plagues his home!

Ernest (aka Faeranduil Ornthalas Eirnalvin) - High elven storm sorcerer who thought he was a wizard until very recently. Does not like his family. Does not like trees. Does not like the swamp he currently has to wade through. The youngest of the group with the fanciest clothes and the most impressive resting bitch face, Ernest set out from his solitary life in his very own bookshop to become an adventurer and a great hero! Unfortunately he is currently finding out that the adventuring life is not quite as luxurious as was told in all his favorite books...

Zamira Malfier - red tiefling bard of the college of glamour! She who plays the violin and rolled a nat1 on her very first performance check of the campaign! Sky pirate, champion of the concept of found families, kindest of lesbians! She used to live in a very poor tiefling community before her pirate grandma swooped in and took her up into the sky onto the flying island where my sky pirates reside! Now she’s on a quest to find her missing grandfather as a favor to her grandma, who has retired from the pirate life and is too old to go on adventures herself.

Kieran - drow rogue wannabe assassin, grew up in a brothel with his brother, his mom and his adoptive, orcish (grand)mother who tried to teach him patience and failed miserably. Kieran is grumpy, rash and has a negative charisma AND wisdom score. When his brother left their life of petty crime behind to join the guard, Kieran decided to try and apply as an assassin with the famous assassin’s guild. Unfortunately he didn’t have all the intel on the job and killed one of the most important elvish noblemen of the city. Now he’s on the run and he is decidedly not having a good time.

By now they are one (1) very stressed, tired dad who tries to keep his children safe and alive, one (1) older sister who is so done with all the bickering and two bickering bros who a) will hit each other into unconsciousness and b) jump into danger trying to save the other risking their own lives.

I love all of them very much.

[dafukdidiwatch]

Fantasy High Rant (and why you should watch it)

Ok I got suggested this and I cant believe I've been sleeping on this series in the last two years. This series is freaking fantastic! I’m screaming.

Overview is this is a modern d&d fantasy land a la Onward Style, where we follow fantasy Scooby Doo gang as they try to solve the mystery of missing students while interacting with the fantastical citizens of Spyre.

I hella love it, because while it has such a great mystery of whats going on in the town, who is doing what and why, etc etc, and it just GROWS the more you watch it. You think it was something simple, but the conspiracy rabbit hole gets deeper and deeper. But to me the main pull is just seeing how our Party just interacts with everyone and each other. This is a very character driven series, which makes sense this is a d&d party, you have to get attached to the party if you want them to work together.

Fabian Seacaster: God he’s fun to watch. The rich kid high class type of character but is just has so much gusto. I love his relationship with his family, it’s adorable. He just adores his parents and his parents adore him back. Like Addams style adoration. He is a bit full of himself and arrogant and has a thing of living up to his father's legacy as well as his family name, but I think his arc is him learning that he doesn't have to define himself through his dad and can be his own person. Plus my favorite moments are him screaming “WHAT IS HAPPENING” because out of everyone he mostly the straight man dealing with people.

Gorgug: I just love him. He is just so sweet. He is just a gentle giant and confused all the time. I feel so bad that he keeps getting the shit end of the stick to save the rest of the party. Like the whole "stealing backpack" shit to basically set him up as the outcasts of outcasts. Granted I’m laughing my ass off when it happens, but he is just so anxious it’s cute. He is just very sweet and genuine, even if he is a little awkward. I also love him just asking if people are his dad lol he just wants to know. But when he rages he’s basically God-Tier Shaggy. 

Fig: lol her angsty teenage years finding out she isn't who she thought she was. Tbf her dad basically said she was the reason for her parents divorce soooo take that as you will. Her being the "bad girl" but also very helpful when she can is great. Her flirtatious punk attitude, the winking, and rocking bard stuff. I low key like the idea of her being with Gorgug because of the moments in Barbarian class and giving him drumsticks. And I also like her with Fabian as just a wild cool kid power couple. Also her fucking with Goldenhoarde is the best with her being sexual,with him. Its super funny.

Riz: I freaking love him. Kid detective on the case. The business cards for friendship which I mean, makes sense. His goal from day one was to find the missing girls and babysitter. I'm sorry he has a poor house to use water cereal, but his mom just loves him and I think that’s sweet. His family is the coolest and he isn’t afraid to admit how cool his family is. But he has direction, he has a mission, and he does it with determination. Plus I love how he is The Ball and everyone is just going with it and now supports it. Him fucking with Fabian is great. And I'm glad he is reconsidering his life choices after meeting the AV kids.

Adaine: She needs help. The panicking one. I mean, her family,obviously looks down on her and she is literally jealous of all the other kids parents (love the gnomes). She is learning to find her own magic her own way and trying to shatter the expectation forced on her. God I support her just fucking people up, especially with Pixie Boy.She is just trying to deal with things which honestly this adventure is getting her to open up and not take shit. Character Arc: Don’t Take Shit.

Kristen: I’m just watching a train wreck here. Like she was 100% Helios all the way. But now it is just watching her questioning everything about religion after dying. Its amazing from looking into other religion herself and just how it ALL escalates from there as she is pulled further and further away from her religion and old life. Learning that how she was raised was just so fucked. Like I'm just seeing how far this goes and if she will pick another god instead or just not be a cleric anymore.

Also I'm like never going to post a completed version of this post because I’m way too fucking obsessed. I went from ep 8 yelling about Kristen’s religious life to episode 13 plot-twist end. I basically am physically restraining myself from watching episode 15 before I type this or else this will never be typed. I can literally go off about all the characters there is just so many good moments.

Basically, check out the show yourself. It’s on Youtube, it’s hilarious. Watching the reactions and faces is just so much fun to see. 100% recommend.

Now excuse me while I scream spoilers for episode 8/13/14 underneath:

Midway through Ep 8:

Ok it was fucking Kristen! Like not her obviously, but she was the hellmouth! She was the initial sacrifice! Demon-Dad Garthox said that the Hellmouth can be opened inside a person, and Goth Kid Blane was working for the Harvestmen Helios to get that page. And lo and behold the page was in the corn vat that Kristen's book was pushed into! Coincidence? I think not!

They thought that it was somehow Adaine's magic that caused it, or the very least it was the bully,guy who chucked Kristen's book in. But no, the page was already inside her book and fell into the corn! If bully ass McGee didn't hit the book out of her hands, then she might have been the victim! Which makes sense, why not have a follower of Helios bring the end times in His name.

Which means that it could be Daybreak or her parents that gave her the page in her bible for this.

God,is this what Helios meant when it "wasn't her time?" Because she is needed as the Hellmouth Sacrifice?

And this makes the whole "sneaking into heaven" part make sense now. If Aguefort was trying to be assassinated by Helios, he could sneak into Helios Heaven and spy on them from the afterlife. He's a weird ass man I'm sure he can pull it off.

Also Fig's Dad is hella cool and I totally love him for,trying to be a parent and mature about this. Fig is totally supportive of him and I love it.

Ok I'm going back to finish episode 8 I just REALLY needed to rant about that.

Screaming about Episode 13:

The oracle was going to return,if the country was in danger. It was but she was,kidnapped/killed on an illusion ship to stop,her. Rix dad is a spy and he was 100%,super dope about it and him just finding his family secrets I was just crying like, he found his legacy, his entire family was,badasses he was so happy and took up his dad's gun for justice. Like how cool is it for a goblin spy,being small and already default evil to infiltrate that is so clever. That is what gets me on this show,is that they take these cool setting and ideas and how they are twisted to fit the fantasy. Cops? Fantasy cops. Skateboarders? Fantasy skateboarders.

Which lets be real, I think the best battle where they really,worked together was during the skateboarders.

This mystery is building and building and I,guess Penelope is,trying to,be queen,via homecoming queen which is,weird and has a Sarah berry vibe to,it. Which is fucking nuts.

Now I’m wondering if nice guy,pixie actually was in on it day 1, or if he was turned over after he was "beaten" like the bad guys offered him a way to make his dream girls his 2D pets. Which, gross. But Biz part doesn't necessarily fit with the main plot. He obv isn't behind this.

Kalvaxus is a demon with money. His money needs to be destroyed. So they are funneling his money through the banks. They used his ship in disguise to kidnap/capture/kill the oracle to prevent her from returning, which she said she would if the country was in danger. Yes the religious Harvestmen wanted to start the apocalypse via Kristen, but ass-elf diplomat said it wouldn't really work, but it would break the treaty and start war. Kalvaxus. Coach Daybreak had control,on Zane, who had control over Johnny Spells to kidnap girls, and since Alwin had a spell to find "maidens/virgins" they need the girls, either as a sacrifice or as conduits to power the arcane source. Was all of this to raise Kalvaxus from hell to the mortal world? That would explain the power source at the arcade with the trapped girls, to keep the connection going. The only,thing I can think,as to why Penelope would be as high up as she is in this conspiracy is if Kalvaxus is her dad. Which I guess,everyone has dad issues in,this group.

Side note, I appreciate how Gorgug thinks himself as,dumb but gets really smart ideas and the whole party agreed they are smart. Like,he was the first to,put 2 and 2 together about Kalvaxus== KVX bank, even if he didn't outright say it.

All,the adults are really,enjoyable,to see. I fucking love Rix’s mom shes so cool. And Gilear is actually really,pitifully funny. I wouldn't think I would like,him as much after that first episode, but he is actually hilarious being the lunch lad and just trying his best.

Live Screaming Episode 14 (lots of incoherent):

fucking He'll Riz got the drop on Biz but he fumbled the attack with a nat1.

Ah shit! This is their shit! The prizes are the girls shit as trophies. Zelda headphones. Skateboard girl. You need to give the items back!!!

Fig's German Shepard patrol finally works out

And Riz is now in Penny's game, oh this hurts because this is the girl that he wants to help.

Biz is like a terrible chucky cheese mascot.

I love it when Fabian says "whats happening" because for all his rich person elegance his bafflement amuses me.

It's so sad to see these girls just be this, shadow of themselves. Like no personality at all.

Adaine does will with the divination rolls, I don't think I,could be able to,do this that well.

Damn they are taking the girls,into the power source, they need girl power. Literally.

Gorgug is just so sweet to call his parents for help. Too bad it didn't work. Its a gnome game, sweet.

damn this is a lot more dangerous than before. This is why we don't split the party.

Make Gorgug fly again that would be awesome. But Adaine flying is good too.

Riz using his gremlin powers to fuck up the parascepts from the inside is fucking amazing, why the hell is it funneling to the school.

Sucks that Fabian just kept running all the way out the building. But lets say Fabian having that motorcycle is just so op. Plus it called him Daddy let's not forget that.

Gorgug using the headphones with Zelda’s music is just so sweet and clever. See hes a simple man but very smart. Practical I think.

Lol only the guys got sucked into the game. No girls in video game.

The Bebe raises Gorgug’s rage. Riz is right: hot topic vs av nerds.

Where is devil dad, like he wasn't kidnapped or kidnapped figs mom or whatever right??? Like i get suspicious when people don't respond immediately.

OMG Gorgug is God Tier Shaggy.

Biz is doing the Fantasy Truffle Shuffle.

Cut his wings Gorgug!

Riz!!! Keep her here!!! FUCK!!! HE DIDN'T!!! Biz is soooo creepy.

Yes! Keep the ghosts so sad I would love the bag of holding but too bad it didn't work.

Gorgug’s parents are just so freaking sweet and supportive.

Hold shit Gorgug’s honesty got him double crit. That sucks but I lowkey hope he keeps the white hair.

That motorcycle is so op. But hes in a racing game with the hangman, at least he has an advantage.

Kristen's philosophers are just so op. I love how her religion is just searching for eternal knowledge.

NAT 20 THE NAT 20 FUCKING YES LETS GO RIZ JUST FLIPPING IT OFF AND SCREAMING FUCK YOU holy,shit that was funny. Too bad it was wasted on such a dumbass moment.

Just smashed the palimpsest that's how the owlbear popped out. Wow it was hilarious how biz popped out. But holy,shit Riz not even giving biz a chance as he starts shooting off fingers that’s amazing

I love them fucking with him because hes an ass. Oh, Alwin modify memory to make him think it was his evil plan. You know still fuck him tho. Ugh are those pictures. No. They know it was the group and photos of their house. Ughhhhh and now things are getting more dangerous,