#Napoleonic headcanon
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yaggy031910 · 1 year ago
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A fun little ask: the Marshalate is informed there is cake in the break room. How do each of them react?
Who ever you are, thank you for this sweet little question and I apologise for my late response. 🙈💕
I have ideas for some of them, however I am **not** aware of the maréchals eating habits so any input is welcome here. Also, I don't know all of the marshals well enough but I will try to include as many as possible. Don’t expect any historical accuracy in this.
See this post as a very big headcanon and as one ongoing story where I am going to try to mimic the marshals characters and miserably fail.
Shall we begin? :D
Les Maréchals and cake
Berthier would hear about it and quietly get excited by the idea of having a nice little piece of cake, just for him to be too busy with everything so that he isn't able to leave his desk. Either this or someone (probably one of his adcs) would be nice enough to get for Berthier his piece of cake.
Murat: You bet he is one of the first ones to look at this cake. His reaction might depend on how the cake looks. If it's a huge cake with a lot of golden details, Murat will carry it around so everyone admires this phenomenal cake because it deserves to be looked at.
Augerau and Masséna wonder why there is such a fancy a cake in the break room in the first place and who might have put it there. Augerau asks Masséna with a low voice: “How much money do you want to bet on the cake being poisoned?” Before Masséna is able to answer, Lannes enters the scene.
Lannes runs after Murat with the cake knife demanding to finally get his damn piece of this cake while Murat can't make himself to cut it because this cake is “so damn beautiful that it would be a waste to eat it.” This little game goes on for a minute or two until the other marshals grow impatient, one of them being Ney.
Ney who is known for his hotheadedness tries to save this cake from a disaster aaaaand fails. :) The three of them dispute over who is the actual culprit of this mess.
L: Murat, what have you done? M: I have done nothing. You followed me with a knife. N: You let the cake fall. M: You intervened in my business with Lannes.
The cake has fallen to the ground as Davout, Suchet and Macdonald watched. “Aaand here goes the cake”, Macdonald says; “At least the floor was able to taste it.” Suchet asks: “What do you think was its flavour?” ”Chocolate vanilla.” Davout answers. After a moment of silence, he adds. “Soult has a good recipe.” Mortier walks in, seeing how Lannes, Murat and Ney are loudly disputing while Masséna and Augerau get themselves black coffee and Davout, Suchet and Macdonald talking. Lefebvre who was walking right behind Mortier gestures him to move away from the door so he can get into the break room: “What is going on?”
Suchet: “We found a cake-“ Davout interrupts him: “We found a chocolate vanilla cake which we don’t know how it got here or if it was poisoned and now it’s inedible because his royal highness, the King of Naples, made it fall.”
Murat shouts from the back: “I didn’t let it fall.” Lannes: “Oh, you did.”
Lefebvre offers a solution like the good fatherly figure he is: “Do you still want cake? We could bake a new cake, messieurs.” Davout replies: “This sounds like a smart idea, Monsieur. Maréchal Soult knows an excellent recipe.”
Lefebvre: “Ahh, excellent. Where is our maréchal?”
Mortier: “He is in his office.”
“Then this where our journey goes next.” Lefebvre slams the door open and accidentally hits Oudinot. “Ah, Monsieur, my apologies. If I had known you were there, I wouldn’t have slammed the door as hard as I did. Are you alright? Yes? Until the next time then.”
Davout walks up to his friend to make sure how Oudinot is doing and explains to him in the meanwhile what is going on and also promises Oudinot to bring him a piece of the cake they are going to bake.
Lefebvre takes the lead and walks straight to Soult’s office while Davout and Mortier follow him. Suchet decides to stay behind while Macdonald thinks about it. Lefebvre knocks on Soult’s office door: “Monsieur, le maréchal? Are you here?” *Lefebvre knocks again with his energetic manner.* “Monsieur, le maréchal, it’s me, Lefebvre. Open the door!*
Soult opens the door with his usual unimpressed demeaner: Hm? Lefebvre: “Excusez-moi, mon maréchal, I heard you have a recipe for a delicious cake?” Soult: Cake? What cake? Davout: The chocolate vanilla one… the one you baked for your daughter Hortense’s birthday. The delicious one. Soult: Ah, yeah. That one. What of it? Mortier: We would like to bake this cake, which is why we want to ask if you mind us borrowing the recipe? Soult stares at his co-maréchals for a second, he shuts the door, opens it again with a piece of paper in his hand which he gives to Lefebvre. “Here. Is there anything else you need?” Macdonald who decided to join the baking group walks up to them and asks Soult: “Would you mind to lend us your baking equipment?” - “No. Have a nice day.” Soult shuts his door while Lefebvre shouts: “Thank you for your help, Monsieur Soult.” Macdonald asks: “What are we going to do now?” “We are going to bake the cake now, my good friend”, Davout answers. Mac: “Where? Where do you want us to bake the cake? Do we have the right ingredients?” D: In the kitchen and I don’t see why we shouldn’t have the ingredients. Macdonald looks at Davout with suspicious eyes about the matter if they are going to manage to bake this cake… The group of maréchals appear in the imperial kitchen where they start to gather the right ingredients. While the group is busy with the preparations, les maréchals Pérignon and Sérurier appear, wondering what is going on. As Lefebvre is explaining these two their baking journey up until now, Pérignon and Sérurier decide to join them: “A cake made by maréchals for maréchals.”
What could possibly go wrong with two additional heads in the kitchen? As it turns out: Everything. Pérignon and Sérurier manage to overdo the cake by confusing salt with sugar. The cake tastes salty, the icing itself is fine because it was made by Davout who religiously followed Soult’s directions. In addition to that, monsieur Lefebvre manages to mix up usual paper with baking sheets.
Bernadotte walks into the kitchen as he sees his fellow maréchals working on their baking project. He comments on the scenery: “This is just pure chaos without any discipline, a chaos which can’t possibly create something edible.” Davout replies “Well, have you ever baked anything in your miserable existence which you so call your life?”; to which Bernadotte says: “wELL, no, BUT-“ Davout continues: “Then get out of this room and give me my peace back or shut up.” Bernadotte decides to leave.
As Bernadotte is leaving, Jourdan walks right into the scene with an apple in his hand. A fire starts to break out in the oven and Jourdan, like the team player he is, turns and leaves this mess to his co-maréchals without saying one word.
Nothing is going as Davout had it planned. He sits in a corner, mourning this beautiful chocolate vanilla cake he had in mind. Macdonald sits right next to him with a spoon, telling him: “Well, at least the frosting you made yourself is delicious.” Davout, completely shattered by the fact that he wasn’t able to make his desired chocolate vanilla cake, puts his face into his palms until a surprise visits the kitchen: It’s maréchal Soult. With a cake. A chocolate vanilla cake. A chocolate vanilla cake which is neither burnt nor oversalted. A chocolate vanilla cake according to the recipe. Next to Soult is Oudinot who cuts two pieces of the cake: one for himself and one for his good old friend, Louis Nicolas Davout.
After Soult, Ney and Lannes enter the kitchen. Ney silently takes a piece of Soult’s cake, saying nothing except a simple “thank you”. So do Macdonald and Mortier. Soult tolerates Ney’s presence. Lannes on the other hand goes straight to the oversalted and burnt cake which the older maréchals made and are also eating. Kellermann and Grouchy, as late to the party as ever, also go for Lefebvre’s bad cake while Soult’s good cake is still sitting there. Soult can’t hide his look of disgust.
At some point, Bessières and Murat join or rejoin retrospectively the scene, walking up to Soult’s cake. Bessières, as well mannered as he is, takes one piece of a cake to which Murat comments: “I know how much you like this lovely type of cake, Bessières, take a second piece.” - “No”, Soult replies: “That’s not your cake. Take your piece and leave.” Murat adds: “For whom are the other pieces then? I don’t see anybody who would possibly want to eat this gorgeous baked good. We want to eat your delicious creation of a fabulous cake.” - “One piece each. You can give him your piece if you like to.” Bessières interrupts the two: “I am content with my piece.” Murat doesn’t listen to what Bessières says and continues his conversation with Soult: “My fellow maréchal, I don’t understand, why do you struggle so much with allowing somebody to have one additional piece of cake than the other ones?”
While Murat and Soult continue their dispute which leads to nowhere, one adc enters slowly the kitchen. He looks at Soult who recognises this man as one of Berthier’s adcs. He came to get a piece of cake for his marshal. Soult lets him take one of the few pieces left. All of a sudden, Kellermann seems to be chocking on his salty cake piece. All the maréchals are gathering around him and in the chaos, the last few pieces of Soult’s cake fall to the ground. Soult looks at his cake or what’s left of it. One could argue that everyone who wanted to eat it was able to eat it. One could argue that these fallen pieces can be ignored and Soult could go on with his day never ever thinking about the pieces again. However, we are talking about maréchal Soult here who sees the art in baking. The love, the accuracy of it. Today he didn’t just bring cake to his fellow maréchals. Today he witnessed how some of them have no sense of dignity for what it means to be able to eat good food. Good cake. Soult is leaving the room, not bothered about Kellermann as he wouldn’t be able to help anyway. He is going to his wife, his Louise Berg, who asks him about his day. He tells her the whole of it. How he was surprised by his fellow maréchals who wanted to bake a cake. How he knew that they are going to mess up his recipe. How he baked that cake properly and how a part of it went to waste. “Some of them ate oversalted and burnt cake. Who eats bad cake? Who likes bad cake???”
Davout on the other hand was thankful for Soult. With a smile on his face, Davout enjoyed his so desired chocolate vanilla cake, unbothered by the event surrounding him. The end. :)
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homkamiro · 3 days ago
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Whatever. Throws you my headcanons
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klutzyroses · 5 months ago
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IkeVamp HCs: PDA
How do they handle PDA?
Suitors: All
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Napoleon
Probably the most normal about PDA.
Handholding? Yes. Hair ruffling? Of course.
The more intimate affection, such as kissing and caressing is reserved for alone time.
Maybe a few cheek kisses wouldn't hurt, an occasional loving whisper in ear at times.
He isn't too over the top with it unless he is trying to tease her.
Because really, seeing her cute blush is worth a little public sappiness. And it would come out of nowhere.
Particularly when he wants a reaction from her, he may initiate it to catch her by surprise, just to fluster her. Not too much though, because he will get embarrassed too.
But in truth, he isn't ashamed of others knowing that he loves her. He will often be found looking at her fondly when she isn't paying attention.
He'll deny he is doing it, but he can't help it. Sometimes he just needs to stop and just...caught up in how much he loves her.
Not that he would tell her that unprompted. That is his little secret for the time being.
Mozart
Um...Public affection? No.
Not likely
If he is out in public with her, even getting him to hold hands would be met with some questioning.
He'd be conscious of appropriate behaviour when out and about, so amorous interactions in front of other people would be out of the question.
His outright avoidance, especially if Y/N initiates, would probably hurt her feelings a little, but it wouldn't be because he doesn't like her touch.
But that's the sort of behaviour he would prefer engaging in away from the prying eyes of the public.
When they're alone, small hand kisses and endearing names are usually his chosen methods.
He would never want her to feel as though he were rejecting her, which is why he would probably address it before it becomes an issue.
Once boundaries are established, its far less of a heartache when he refuses to engage in affectionate behaviour in public.
Leonardo
He is more lowkey about his affection in public, but definitely smooth about it.
One would think they were secret lovers, the way his touches involved brushing her hand surreptitiously, lingering on her skin and leaving it warm.
He is one of the least overt about his affection in public, hence when it happens, it's always so suave and never fails to get his Cara mia's heart racing.
Subtle warm looks, secret touches on her skin, gentle caresses moving her hair from her face.
Those little signs of fondness, brief and subtle as they may be, leave a lasting effect on his amore, even for an instant.
Where he really thrives however, is in his ability to catch her off guard with his words.
Because he is so understated with his physical affection in public, his words pack more of a punch...mostly because they are sudden.
He will drop a casual 'I love you', so easily that at first, it goes over her head, until she does a double take, almost falling over.
He would follow that up by catching her and teasing her about falling for him, causing her to get even more flustered.
A very smooth signor indeed.
Arthur
He is one of the most shameless, second only to Charles.
PDA, for him, is mostly exaggerated to make a point when he is with her.
That point being, he is unavailable and so is she.
He thinks its adorable when she gets flustered over it, so that is, of course, an added bonus.
He is perfectly content announcing their relationship, declaring her to be his love and his darling aloud, to the chagrin of his admirers.
He tends to lean more towards kisses on her hands, winking at her as he does so, feeling his chest swell with pride when he sees that sweet smile on her face, her cheeks tinted a charming pink, earning themselves a quick kiss of their own.
The flirting....the flirting is nonstop, always sweet and maybe just a touch inappropriate with thinly veiled innuendo.
He may tend to overdo it at times, but really, he is just being silly intentionally for her amusement. And maybe to get that blush from her every now and again.
...Although, that is only part of the reason.
He actually loves to touch her and let her know how much he loves her, no matter who is around.
He is aware that he has...a past and sometimes, remnants of that pop up to sour her mood and make her insecure and he hates himself for that. So obviously, he is not shy to show her how much she means to him in front of others.
Theo
Theo's brand of PDA is...definitely different.
He wouldn't be hesitant to claim her in public verbally, calling her his hondje.
Make no mistake, he wouldn't be very touchy feely in front of others, but there will be no doubt that she is his.
Which is why his more physically affection is usually triggered by jealousy or protectiveness.
Sometimes, he can't resist wrapping an arm around her when he senses she is in need of comfort of some kind, be it because someone or something is making her uneasy, just to, in his own Theo kind of way, assure her that he is there.
She is safe with him and he will be damned if she felt any differently when she is out and about with him.
Sometimes, however, when nobody else is really looking, his look will soften when he meets her gaze, or puts a subtle hand on the base of her spine, usually brushing it off as 'directing' her.
Really its just an excuse to touch her, but he would have to be cornered to admit it aloud.
Vincent
The sweetheart was a joy to be around, always.
He is perfectly content holding her hand when he walks with her.
He could be a little socially oblivious at times, flustering his love with rather open declarations of love...wearing a perfectly innocent look on his face.
Sometimes he will take both her hands in his and kiss them, or maybe run his fingers through her hair.
He doesn't really have a reason to give if asked, he just feels like it.
His affection is so sweet, so tender, it may usually result in adoring moments between them where the world seems to disappear and they can only stare at each other, most likely with Y/N being completely taken by his gentle charm, sparkles and flowers surrounding them before someone has to remind them that they are not alone, snapping them out of their enamored stupor.
Put that is the effect Vincent tends to have on his lover, whether other people are around or not.
He may or may not kiss her. It depends on how bold he is feeling that day. Not a deep one, just a quick kiss on her lips, short and sweet.
The more intimate stuff is for behind closed doors. He isn't one to be too inappropriate in public.
He does have the capacity to be embarrassed after all. He may be a bit sheepish if he is called out, pink cheeks and all.
He can't help it. He loves her, that's just a fact.
Isaac
He's...hesitant about it. He's not necessarily averse to it, but...
Well he wouldn't see the reason for being so...overt about their relationship.
Handholding? Well alright, if she really wants to, he will hold her hand while they walk.
But beyond that, he would be a bit more resistant.
Kisses, hugs, the more intimate touches, he does not want others to see that.
So much so that he may even dodge any kisses she may try to give him. Y/N shouldn't take it too personally, even if it does seem as though he were rejecting her, he isn't, honest.
He would scramble to explain that he wasn't ashamed of her in anyway, because it would seem that way after a while.
His affection, however, would be more...subconscious actually.
Playing with the ends of her hair or tracing her palms, little things he wouldn't even be aware he was doing unless pointed out to him.
He's more affectionate when they're alone and it comes as more as a surprise to her, as he would be more confident about just kissing her, or taking the initiative in general, much more so when they're out and about.
Jean
Knowing how Jean is, people would assume that he would be completely against public displays of affection.
The honest truth? They would be correct in some aspects, but...
Not as much as they would think.
Its less because of his aversion to it and more because he has very little idea of how to conduct himself in public as a couple.
Being as socially clueless as he can be at times, he isn't entirely sure what is deemed appropriate and what isn't.
Its somewhat endearing to see him startle his lover by holding her hand seemingly out of nowhere.
He would probably admit that he received advice from the other residents that it was common for lovers to hold hands.
Which is the sweetest thing, but it would seem a bit...disingenuous to Y/N, as though he were doing it because he feels obligated.
But with a bit discussion over boundaries and what was deemed appropriate, a comfortable norm would definitely help him be more at ease and natural with his affection.
He would also be a bit more spontaneous, though always asking for her consent whenever he tries something different.
Dazai
Spontaneous.
He moves to the beat of his own drum, so the opinion of others is...so irrelevant to this man.
When in public with his love, he tends to do whatever comes to mind, no matter how random it may be.
Take her hand count her fingers and compliment them? But of course.
Steal a sweet peck from her and tell her how pretty they looked so he just felt like it? Naturally.
At times it may feel odd, but he has his own way of being affectionate and he doesn't have much impulse control to speak of.
Not since he's had her in his life. He may not be the best at expressing himself...at all, but for better or for worse, she will know she is loved.
Even with his oddball methods of showing it.
He particularly enjoys seeing her blush, so he does go out of his way to surprise her, whether it be by staring at her for prolonged eye contact, just to tell her she is beautiful. Unprompted.
The surprise on her pretty face as her cheeks erupt into red roses brings warmth into his chest as he chuckles, unable to stop himself from caressing one of them.
Anyone watching might think he is random...and he is, but he doesn't pay any mind to that.
Comte
His brand of affection is certainly more restrained. He is a gentleman after all.
He doesn't want to do anything inappropriate in front of others, he wouldn't want to embarrass her.
But he most certainly wasn't shy about wrapping a loving arm around her waist, holding her close to him, his comforting presence washing through her.
He is proud of her and is more than happy to show her off, though only as much as she would allow.
Elegant hand kisses, gracious intertwining of fingers, little acts that are not overboard, but leave little to the imagination.
Where he does go a little overboard is when it comes time to spoil her.
She wants for nothing. Comte's cherie wants for absolutely nothing.
He will gently kiss her forehead when she expresses any concerns, because to make her shine the way she deserves makes him happy.
He worries not over what others think too much, but he is respectful and classy when in the public eye.
Emphasis on when they are in the public eye. Its a different story when they are alone.
Sebastian
Subtle, almost imperceptible, one would miss it if they weren't paying attention.
He is a good deal more reserved about being affectionate when in public.
Perhaps he would take to simply being closer to her, proximity wise.
He may occasionally gently place his hand on her back, usually under the guise of directing her one direction or the other.
Truth be told, one would have to have known Sebastian prior to him being in a romantic relationship to see the difference.
Only then would his more almost secretive touches, that could easily be brushed off as platonic or friendly, be seen in slightly different light.
His demeanor generally isn't all that changed, specially not in public. He really isn't overly affectionate in front of others, but those who know him would definitely be aware that he is more...touchy with her.
Again, nothing too incriminating to the untrained eye, but so long as she understands the sentiment, that's all that really matters anyway.
Vlad
The romantic gestures he would gravitate towards would be more...innocent. Sweet, almost a bit childish in an endearing way.
Playing with her fingers, intertwining his between them, tucking her hair away from her lovely face.
His affection, in public, was more reminiscent of an admirer simply in awe of her.
He is devoted to her and her alone, and sometimes he may just act in the moment, bringing their linked fingers to his lips to his and pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. And of course, slip a flower or two into her hair.
He especially likes to profess his affection with words as much as actions.
Softly whispered words of adoration will often make their way to her, wrapping her in their warmth, even if he isn't actually touching her.
He isn't entirely conscious of how others perceive this, nor does he care all that much. Sometimes he just wants to bask in his love for her, take a moment to be grateful for her and show her that gratitude in full.
Faust
His brand of public affection often sent the message that Y/N was his very close assistant than his lover.
Its not often that it happens to be honest.
In contrast to his oddball sire Vlad and the overly affectionate Charles, he is much muted and covert about being affectionate.
He is quite blunt about it as well, if he is asked, probably by the children he tends to care for, if Y/N is his girlfriend.
He will just say yes, with a completely straight face and leave it at that.
Though the children themselves will be confused, as their fairly naive ideas of grand displays of love will be very much absent when they observe Faust and Y/N.
He would only indulge them by going to kiss her forehead if they didn't stop pestering him about it.
He just doesn't see the appeal of behaving in public how he behaved in private.
Only she needs to see his more vulnerable, genuine side. She's the only one who deserves to.
Charles
Umm...
If left unchecked, he could and would get carried away.
He would not care who is there, he can't keep his hands to himself.
Normally, he sticks to hand holding and cuddling.
But sometimes he'll sneak his hand on her thigh, maybe starts kissing her with reckless abandon.
He has no qualms about sneaking his hand up her dress while does and if she doesn't stop it, they may just start getting a bit wild.
Clothes might start dropping if Charles is left to do as he pleases. Its not so much out of lack of care of what others think, he isn't even thinking about, its more because he just wants to bury her in his love and drown in hers, no matter where and when.
And the mouth on him sometimes...
He is shameless about flirting with her too, oscillating between sugary heartfelt confessions of adoration and more...daring, lascivious declarations.
None of which are discreet.
In the slightest.
Galileo
He doesn't.
The man doesn't do like that.
Frankly, if someone was told explicitly that Galileo and Y/N were a couple, they wouldn't know it by looking at them.
Maybe the most affection seen from him would be standing close to her. Maybe if his guard is down, his face may soften when looking at her. But that's it. Nobody is seeing more than that.
Many people from the outside would question the perceived coldness of the relationship.
The couple would often seem more like acquaintances than lovers.
She would probably be touching him more than he is touching her to be honest.
But in private...that is not the case.
He prefers to keep his more tender side for her and her alone.
When it's just the two of them, he would indulge her with gentle caresses and tender words.
He is very different with her when it's just them, versus when they are out in public.
Drake
Drake doesn't care a great deal about what others think. He does what he wants when he wants to.
He doesn't behave that differently with her in public than he does in private.
Sure, he wouldn't jump her for risky trysts in the open, not unless she was up for it, but he wouldn't balk over kissing her in front of others. He doesn't do it often but he wouldn't be against it.
His boldness goes as far her timidity allows, really.
He's not so much into hand holding as much as he likes giving her head pats, caressing her face and giving her hugs and forehead kisses.
Especially headpats and forehead kisses.
He wouldn't go overboard but needless to say, he is rather affectionate in public. Unabashedly so.
He also flirts and teases rather openly, if only to see her flustered. Whispering in her ear, cornering her against surfaces, he does not care who sees. If called out, he will simply laugh it off.
He cares more about doting on his fawn than anybody else and their opinions anyway.
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sweetlittleneptune · 7 months ago
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"You speak French??"
The translations were made by me, as I'm a native French speaker! tho, if you have any issues/questions/see any mistakes, don't be afraid to point them out!
The fact that you never admitted to speaking French to the residents of the mansion was a simple lie of omission. You didn’t think it was that important at first, and then you also noticed how much of an advantage that was. This meant you could spy on some of residents without much trouble at all. Sadly, the charade couldn’t last forever.
NAPOLEON
He had a habit of rambling in French to himself. Random thoughts, most of them unimportant and simple little reminders to do something later. But every once in a while, he would mumble something that caught your attention, and you’d have to hold in your laughter. He had to stop though, once he realized you understood what he was saying and was absolutely humiliated.
It had been a rough day, and the man was frustrated. Between the bickering kids and the eccentric residents, he was practically boiling. That was reason enough to be mumbling insults and such.
“C’est juste des cons. Pas capable de se la fermer, tous inutiles.”
(They’re just idiots. Can’t shut up, useless.)
And it came out before you could even think about it. You just had to.
“Quand même, c'est un peu méchant M. Napoléon. Mais je l’admets… ils sont un peu lourds.”
(Well, that’s a bit rude Mr. Napoleon. But I’ve got to admit… they are a bit annoying)
The look on his face was absolutely priceless. Surprise, confusion, worry, all of it. Napoleon opened his mouth once, then closed it. he reopened it again and closed it once more. Third time’s the charm they say…
“Since when…?”
“Ah, that’s my little secret. Just don’t tell the other, will you?”
Suspicion crossed his face.
“Why?”
“You know, it’s a great advantage to have. Would be a shame to lose it.”
“You’re a devil Nunuche, but a smart one I’ll admit.”
And with a chuckle he left the room
COMTE DE SAINT-GERMAIN
You intended to tell him at first. When he started bringing you to all those dinners, galas, and parties for the aristocrats of the city. You wanted to speak with him and the other attendants. But as soon as they heard the accent in your “bonsoir”, they switched to English, and you rolled with it for some reason. Now it had been months, and you felt it would be weird to start speaking French now.
You were used to being ignored in conversations too. None of it was on purpose and you couldn’t take it personally when Comte was such a popular man to begin with! What you weren’t used to, though, was being disrespected right in your face as if you weren’t there.
The first comment had been something along the lines of “you finally found someone to give you a son!”
Your husband was quick to answer that he had chosen you because you were you. It had nothing to do with kids.
The second almost made you open your mouth. But it was no use. Comte made very sure to let him know he was crossing a limit and ended the conversation there.
“Some people lack manners, it seems. No use wasting more time on this unimportant discussion.”
You simply nodded and followed.
But then you wanted a little treat to eat, and the buffet was on the other side of the room. So, you left Comte for a moment to grab something. Sadly, the same man from earlier was there, chatting away with someone you didn’t know. As soon as he saw you, you knew something unpleasant would happen.
“Elle n’est rien de bien spécial, mais j’imagine qu’elle doit être particulièrement bonne au lit si le Comte de Saint-Germain a décidé qu’elle était bonne à marier. »
(she’s nothing special, but I guess she’s particularly good in bed if the Count of Saint-Germain has decided to make her his wife.)
You pondered for a moment if you should even grace him with an answer. It wouldn’t do any good, you knew that. But if the man had the galls to say it, he surely could listen to your answer, no?
“Monsieur, j’apprécierais sincèrement que vous vous absteniez de m’insulter en ma présence. Et puis, ce sont de riches paroles, venant de l’homme dont la femme est reconnue pour avoir plusieurs amants. Au moins, l’un de nous sait satisfaire son partenaire… "
(Sir, I would appreciate if you could hold back from insulting me in my presence. And this is rich, coming from the man whose wife is known to have several lovers. At least, one of us can satisfy their spouse…)
Red rose to the man’s face.
“Eh bien, je crois que le message est clair! 
(Well, I think the message is clear!)
Comte’s voice made you jump in your place. You hadn’t heard him coming at all! You turned to look at him with shyness in your eyes, a bit worried he would scowl you for your action. But all he did was look at you with pride.
As you left though, he did ask where you learned to speak French.
“A while back, in my world.”
JEAN D'ARC
That night you were staying up late to clean up after one of Leonardo’s raids of the library. It was rotten work for sure, but someone had to do it and Sebastian was finishing up polishing of the silverware. So here you were, going through piles of books left on tables.
Time passed and after a while of not hearing any noise, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to sit down and read for a few minutes. There was a book that had caught your attention while cleaning up. It was a little book of French fables. Some of which you remembered reading back in school when you were young. Slowly, the stories caught your attention for good and the world around you faded.
That’s when Jean entered the room, in the hopes of finding some peace and some books to help him learn to write and read. Still hooked on your little island of nostalgia, you didn’t hear him at all. And him, not wanting to bother you, stayed in his little corner of the library.
An hour must have passed before your eyes left the pages of the book. But when you did, you were surprised to find you weren’t alone anymore. And you felt a bit cheap about being caught slacking on your job.
“I didn’t hear you come in, Jean. What are you doing here?”
“I’m trying to read this book. But it’s hard, I don’t understand much…”
The poor man was trying to read “Les Misérables”, of course he was having a hard time understanding what all those fancy words meant! You held your chuckle in and handed him your fable book.
“You might find this one easier to read. You picked a rather daunting book to try to learn.”
“Oh but… you know I speak French mademoiselle. Your book-” You smiled.
“Take a look at the cover. What does it say?”
It took him a minute to decipher the sounds and the words, but he managed to read the title out:
“Les fables de La Fontaine.” Jean paused. “It’s in French…”
“Yes, it is.”
“You can read French?” there was curiosity in his eyes.
“Oui, mais pas que. Je le parle aussi.”
(Yes, but that’s not all. I can speak it too.)
“Je ne savais pas. Vous ne l’avez jamais dit.”
(I didn’t know. You never told us)
“It’s my little secret,” you answered with a smirk. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should finish cleaning Leo’s mess.”
“Merci.”
“Bienvenue!”
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very-uncorrect · 3 months ago
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Love thinking about how if they were to become friends (and/or more) in canon then Jon would have to eventually be cool with the fact that Sock has killed people (his own parents no less)
Time taken: 1 hour 20 minutes
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thedivinetarot-2 · 4 months ago
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Every route in Ikemen vampire be like:
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Every time...
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volno-pesh · 11 months ago
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I headcanon they like to carry and just hold each other too often. One day(first time) Engineer carried Spy once and then Spy made him carry him for whole week straight instead of walking by himself (when was possible)
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Also fem engiespy
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toonwreck · 5 months ago
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karl-jensen · 1 month ago
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THE MOST TERRIBLE NIGHT
1986 | Horror, War | Directed by Wolfgang Petersen
A mysterious infection spreads all across Europe, and the City of Copenhagen is under quarantine by British forces. The infection becomes severe as many Danish citizens succumb to it, transforming them into Zombies. Several Danish soldiers, along with one of their wives and a priest, must leave the city before it is too late.
The achievement The Most Terrible Night gave me the impression that it is the title of a movie. To make this idea come to life, I made up a concept on how the poster would look like. The end result was a poster layout similar to Starship Troopers as well as early Harry Potter films. Here is a list on what could have been, and some features seen in the poster:
- The film's title was originally going to be at the bottom of the artwork. I later added it on the bottom right of the drawing. Same with the tagline, except it is at the bottom of the poster. Also, names of the celebrities and the director were originally going to be present, but I scrapped it entirely.
- A Danish Version was also made of the poster. It even has the callout that everybody loves to spam.
- The Officer on the top left has a chipped tooth, alluding to an image of Viggo Mortensen when he received one while filming the Lord of the Rings.
- The third person on the middle is a woman, and she is the wife of the Danish Officer.
- Some masts can be seen next to the clock tower, meaning that there are other Royal Navy vessels present aside from the Brig Sloop. I may not be correct with the design of the clock tower.
- A Zombie was originally going to appear behind the clock tower, and it is based on the "Hardcore Mode" image of the game. I removed it entirely to avoid spoilers. Besides, the film's English tagline is a hint to the undead.
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The Danish version of the poster. They're coming, Help us!
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I also made a companion piece which also serves as a headcanon for the map "Copenhagen". Also, this is probably one of the DARKEST headcanons that I had ever cooked... Viewer discretion is advised.
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The other two British Ships in the map (the First Rates) carried thousands of Marines and British Army Soldiers. The squadron was led by Admiral David Maxwell and it consisted of seven ships: HMS Victory, HMS Ville de Paris, HMS Resilient, HMS Agamemnon, HMS Interceptor (the Brig Sloop), and two other Frigates. The situation in the city began to grow worse as civillians get infected with the blight. Admiral Maxwell ordered the city to be burned and kill any escaping civillians who were trying to unmoor their boats and attempt to flee the city.
A bloody massacre took place in the harbor where HMS Victory and HMS Ville de Paris were moored, and thousands of Marines and Soldiers were ordered to kill the civillians under orders of Admiral Maxwell. However, the Victory's captain, Rowan Blackadder, intervened and ordered the troops to stop firing, but Maxwell still ordered them to open fire. It all ends with a mutiny on the HMS Victory, and the massacre was halted by Blackadder.
Captain Blackadder soon allowed the Danes to leave the city in their boats, while some chose to get on board the Victory, Ville de Paris and the other ships that were present in the harbor. Half of the ammunition and supplies were dumped on all ships to make them lighter, and to give more room for the civillians to stay. Some even deployed their lifeboats to accomodate more space.
The Danish Soldiers destroyed the HMS Interceptor and were picked up by the Razeed third rate HMS Resilient. The two sides held a truce and the entire city was evacuated. Admiral Maxwell got infected, and was shot by Captain Blackadder. His body was thrown overboard.
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xxsycamore · 5 months ago
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Ok so like hrengtadzk💀
Napo and MC fucking but like the unlocked door. Someone walks in. huehuehuehue
Basically I'm gonna say it again cuz I was being incoherent. Napo and MC run off in the middle of the day (like you said in your public sex hcs about him) and someone does catch them behind a (un)locked. There's people who get off of it me
Pretty that's exhibitionism but somewhat without consent
Ludy your imagination is dangerous
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Napoleon + getting caught
Yes, it happens exactly how you pictured it, riding off the waves of excitement brought by the risk, with Napoleon teasing about how "Anyone could walk in, but we don't have to worry because you claimed you can be quiet, isn't that right?", being confident about his own ability to remain alert while fucking you. And truly, he is helping you stay quiet, be it by commanding you to bite the pillow or by clasping his hand tightly around your mouth.
Still, it's bound to happen sooner or later. Maybe he was too worked up and couldn't wait to pounce on you, maybe he fiddled with the key but never actually turned it in the lock... Suddenly the world has narrowed down to the two of you, all heavy breaths and rustling clothing and shallow thrusts that minimize the wet noises of copulation and the sweet nothings he says in your ear, making you toss your head to one side and then the other as if you want to deny the obscene thoughts he puts in your head... and you both get a little too much into it. And the door creaks open, the sound falling on deaf ears, as someone walks in.
Luckily, with those quickies, Napoleon always happens to be on top of you. It's only natural, that way he'd have complete control over every move, and you have to leave it to the commander in the room to conduct his strategy when the stakes are that high. It ends up working in your favor when you get caught in the act. Napoleon is the first to react, senses sharpened with years in the making from his past life, and even though his muscles tense, he remains completely still, shielding you with his body. You might have a more jumpy reaction, but he's got you in his grasp, knowing that it's best for you to remain where you are rather than try to crawl out from underneath him.
Not that the unfortunate resident who walked in would stay for long enough that you and Napoleon have to consider separating from each other. The guy excuses himself in the very next second and is out of sight before you can get a grasp of what's happening. You probably missed it, but it was something in Napoleon's eyes that drove him away. The door is slammed shut again and Napoleon is still buried inside you.
For someone who is always making himself available and cares deeply about helping his housemates, you understand that if that person remained just a second longer here, it would have meant that the mansion was burning down. At the very least.
Now, his following actions would be completely decided by your own reaction to what happened. He'll get on his elbows to have a better look at your face, he'll caress it and ask if you're alright. He'll say he's sorry for being so reckless. He will not touch you anymore if you got turned off by it.
But if you didn't... if you let him know that you're genuinely okay with what happened, if you rock your hips into his and show him how much you want him still... he won't be able to hold back anymore. He'll pin your hands down to the bed and fuck into you with new vigor, not even understanding himself in that moment. It could be his possessiveness clawing at him, making him want to erase the other person's presence from your mind completely. Even if they likely didn't get a glimpse of anything else than your face, isn't that enough to feel jealous over? Those are the lewd expressions that you do only for him. Noone else gets to see them.
Or maybe that's exactly what he achieved. By showing how much he owned you in that moment.
As a whole, it's pretty much hit or miss for him - largely decided by his partner's reaction to it, but also because the pleasure he gets out of it is momentarily and he'd be thinking about it afterward with an aftertaste of jealousy and regret in his mouth. He's not going to feel awkward facing the resident afterwards but he might still have to mention something about it, depending on who it was.
The situation ranges from Arthur's flirty "ohhh, space for one more ;) ?" (he's just trying to make it less awkward before he walks out of the room. i think.) to Isaac being traumatized for at least a week, to Sebastian rushing to his room to write in his diary, to Theo complaining out loud while he walks away about how he already has to be mindful of the same thing happening with Arthur and how he's this close to moving out.
5/10 "Liar. You're saying you liked it just a little bit, but I felt you tightening around me. Is this turning you on that much? Being watched as I take you? Do you wish they'd stayed longer, so you can make it clear to them how I'm the only one who can claim you, leave you well-loved and leaking my cum? You'll regret leaving me with this information, Nunuche."
-> (ALWAYS OPEN) send me a kink & I’ll give you a headcanon and rating for Napoleon!
🦶foot fetish 🥵breeding kink 🥕pregging 😈dom/sub 🍈breast kink ⛓bondage 🩸period kink 👄marking 🐺predator/prey 🏙public sex 🤗praise kink 👅 cunnilingus 🍌blowjobs (receiving)
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historyslittlebish · 7 months ago
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☁︎。⋆。 ☾ ゚。⋆Masterlist⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ☾
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
Quick Note: Please read rules before requesting (pinned post) also let me know if something is wrong with the links. Enjoy! (pinned post also includes if requests are open)
Updated: 11/3/2024
Illness won't stop love (Cured!King Baldwin IV x Witch!Reader) (part 1/2)
King Baldwin IV x Male!Reader NSFW (request)
Alexander the Great x Male!Soldier!Reader (coming soon)
King Baldwin IV x Wife!Reader: scratching his head (request)
Illness won't stop love (Cured!King Baldwin IV x Witch!Reader) (part 2/2)
King Baldwin IV x Wife!Reader: singing to him (request)
King Baldwin IV x Servant!Reader: Their utter devotion (request)
Swords'n skirts (Napoleon Bonaparte x Tough!F!Reader) (coming soon)
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niintendoqs · 7 months ago
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Ikemen Vampire sexuality and gender HCs 🫶 Waow I love LGBT+ HCs of the boys so much…
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archimedesleftwing · 1 year ago
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"Wanna grab a drink with me, darlin'?"
"I thought you'd never ask, mon cher."
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klutzyroses · 9 months ago
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IkeVamp HCs: Beautiful Reader
How do they react when they meet a reader who is one of the most beautiful women they have ever seen?
Suitors: Napoleon, Arthur, Galileo, Drake
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Napoleon
When the woman lost in the halls of the mansion met his gaze, he knew being the woman's protector would be the chore to end all chores.
In this day and age, women already weren't safe. Much less when they looked like they were handcrafted with love and care, the way she did.
He wasn't looking forward to it.
And he himself, though not aloud, found he was curious about the stunning stranger who'd stumbled into his life. He'd seen beautiful women before, but she was on a completely different level.
"I'm going to have my hands full with you, nunuche."
He ruffled her hair with a smirk as she merely blinked at him in confusion.
He would definitely be aware of many eyes on her, admiring, lusting, but they wouldn't get near her when she was with him.
Beautiful as she was, Napoleon knew the risks of letting her be alone for too long...but there were only so many complaints he could have when he was in the company of such a gorgeous madonna. There were worse ways to spend his time.
He's not telling her that directly though. Not in those exact words at least.
Arthur
When he first laid eyes on the maiden fair, he knew life in the mansion would be just a little sweeter.
He had no qualms about saying that to her the first time they met.
"Well now! The stars are shining just a little brighter tonight. Such a bonny lass you are."
His urge to tease her only grew when she reacted with a timid averted gaze, her lovely cheeks painted pink.
He commonly made sure to compliment at least once a day, usually referring to her as the 'Lovely Y/N'.
The author was commonly surrounded by women, but whenever she went anywhere with him, most of them kept their distance, intimidated by the ravishing lady by his side, regardless of the nature of her relationship with Arthur.
"I'm afraid that nobody holds a candle to a heart stopper like you and anybody with eyes knows it."
"Arthur!"
Teasing her just see that cute blush on her beautiful face would be enough to make his day.
Galileo
He wasn't one to generally take much notice of women, though the particular girl ambling through the halls of the university didn't escape his notice.
Galileo knew women could be pleasing to the eye, of course, but that was a fact of life, not something that actually touched him.
But she was objectively the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and he found that slightly disconcerting. Almost as disconcerting as the fact that said woman was not paying attention to her surroundings and was to trip on a loose tile.
He moved quickly, catching her shoulder as she stumbled. When she turned to thank him, her beauty hit him full force from up close as he took her in.
She was a vision of loveliness, an earthly Aphrodite. Her lips parted and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment, only adding sweetness to her visage. She suddenly spoke in a soft tone.
"Erm...thank you sir...that was clumsy of me."
Her voice broke the spell as he let go of her, stepping back. If she had any effect on him, it certainly didn't show.
"Be more careful."
Was his only response before leaving.
He will find himself thinking back to that lovely face from time to time, often when the word 'beautiful' happened to cross his mind.
Drake
When he called to the lone woman passing by the Seine, intending to invite her into his boat, he didn't expect anything out of the ordinary. But when she turned around, his eyes widened as he blinked in surprise.
"Wow. You're beautiful."
Those were the first words out of his mouth, his head tilted in near confusion as the lady blushed at his forwardness.
The man was a sailor that traveled the world and seen different places and people, so he knew a beautiful woman when he saw one. And her? Breathtaking. She could make the hardest of pirates fall at her feet.
When he managed to convince her to take a ride with him, winning her over with his friendly disposition, he playfully told her that getting such a beauty into his boat was risky because alas, he may not return her, much to her amusement.
"Sir, I would appreciate being put on solid ground at some point..."
"Haha, just kidding. You're just so pretty, I want to keep you."
He said with a bright smile, but he was only half joking...
Drake would definitely want to steal her away. Pirates don't just let go of treasure.
🌸
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b0ylik3r · 24 days ago
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[SH SCARS]
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"you cant just make all your favorite characters a million minorities its not time period accura-" MR ELECTRIC SEND THEM TO THE AUTISM FACTORY AND HAVE HIM SNOWFLAKED!!!!!
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glubby-guppiez · 9 months ago
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*Random TMNT 2012 (mainly side characters) hc's bcuz hyperfixation
*(this is the best divider to ever exist btw)
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*Warnings: Spoilers for TMNT 2012 ofc, mentions of gender dysphoria and trans related insecurity, transphobia, accidental arson, bullying, manipulation, ptsd, also the tone of the headcanons shift randomly also also typing quirk
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*Chris Bradford is trans. )(e did a full transition, he did hormones, voice training, top and bottom surgery, a few different surgeries to make him look/feel more masculine, all the bells and whistles, even went the extra mile to do procedures to hide his surgery scars. )(e's closeted and does about everything in his power to make sure no one even question that he was assigned female at birth because he's scared of his social image of being the great macho man, Chris Bradford, crumbling.
*Leo mainly or solely uses fandom and fanfic socials like Wattpad, AO3, Amino, Tumblr, and maybe Twitter. She mainly interacts with Space )(eroes and Crognard The Barbarian fan posts and shows a special interest in gender swap aus.
*Later on, post show with Muckman's help the mutants are actually able to freely walk around humans without them completely flipping out and starting a mob to witch hunt after them.
*Speaking of walking around humans, Napoleon and the frogs down in Louisiana are considered local urban legend and humans get really excited when they spot the frogs in the woods.
*Dr. Rockwell is a very big coffee enjoyer and used to secretly steal coffee from the nearby shops around the mighty mutanimals hideout and on the rare occasion when someone caught him and called him out he would always use the excuse of the shops being owned by big corporations.
*Don Visioso is a deadbeat father of 5. )(e also has had multiple wives and many divorces.
*Mondo Gecko will call people posers if he's jealous enough of them.
*Ivan Steranko is also trans but has only had hrt and face masculinizing surgery and refuses to get top and bottom surgery.
*Anton Zeck is incredibly smart and performed extremely well in high school and even got free scholarships for how well he did.
*Shinigami is a big video game nerd and will geek out if anyone mentions one of the games she plays.
*The reason Anton hated the mutant name Mikey gave him at first is because it either sounds a lot like or straight up is a nickname old bullies of him gave in order to make fun of him.
*Premutation, Chris acts transphobic towards Xever (despite Xever being cis) out of jealousy and insecurity.
*Baxter Stockman is either a gay aroace trans mspec nonbinary man or a cishet ally. No in-between.
*Mini April cluster!!!:
*April has a deep love for literature and writes poetry in her spare time.
*She almost burned down the culinary class in her school once.
*She's questioning aroace.
*She felt extra empathy for Muckman because he reminded her of Kirby a little bit.
*She likes to hide stickers around the lair whenever has them on her person.
*She thoroughly enjoys having long conversations with each of the individual turtles. (It's her favorite way to spend time with anyone tbh)
*April does eventually take some time to properly learn Japanese and becomes pretty decent at speaking and reading it.
*)(er and Donnie often like to geek out together whenever they find anything new about aliens (both species they haven't seen yet and ones they know well like the kraang).
*End of the mini April cluster!!!
*Kirby O'Neil is a pretty decent cook. That man can make a mean chicken stew.
*Shinigami actually owns multiple cats. 2 ragdoll, 1 sphinx, 1 Persian, and 3 British shorthairs (I could name them all, but I don't wanna). Also, the majority of them are black cats. She feeds strays, too.
*The last headcanon is much to Karai's dismay because she is somewhat allergic. She gets headaches, her skin gets slightly irritated and she gets the sniffles if she's around cats for too long.
*Casey's younger sister wants to be a hair stylist when she grows up, so Jones let's her do his hair every once in a while and he flexes it to every one at the lair like: "Oh? My hair? Yeah, my sister did it for me. Pretty metal, what she did with it, right?"
*Tigerclaw is the only Foot Clan member to not bully Baxter Stockman.
*Someone manipulated and lied to Alopex in order to make her hate and hunt down her brother.
*After season 4, Baxter Stockman leaves New York and takes over Stockman Industries. (If you're unaware of what that is, it's on billboards that the turtles pass throughout the show the most notable appearance being in the ending scene of the final season 4 episode, 'Owari'.)
*Slash deep down still misses The Newtralizer.
*Leatherhead kind of freaks out (apologies for the bad wording) when someone fully wraps their arms around his neck when hugging him because it reminds him of the restraints the Kraang put him in.
*Pigeon Pete learns how to bake so he can make his own bread.
*The turtles get a Wii (or whatever the universes equivalent is).
*Mondo Gecko gets an old Xbox and plays Tony )(awk games, Bully, and Twisted Metal on it.
*Ivan and Anton actually move out to New Jersey post show.
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*Alr, that's all for now, toodles!!!
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