#NOT putting this in any tags i am SCARED
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datv is so fun already i love seeing polls about characters with questions like “who are you most interested in pre-release” and all four female companions and davrin are the lowest percentages <3<3 for no reason probably
#and then lucanis and emmrich are at the top#im getting bg3 dejavu but whatever. Gritting teeth. Its whatever#sometimes davrin is high and that brings me joy he is the guy i find most interesting#NOT putting this in any tags i am SCARED#roscoe rambles#dont mind this im feeling an Emotion but it is my fault for opening the dragon age tag
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Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants
This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!
Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!
Provide a Water Source
Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!
There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times.
I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!
Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.
If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.
Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.
Bird Feeders and Bird Houses
Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!
An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!
Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own!
Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!
Solitary Bee Houses
A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.
Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!
Providing Nesting Area
There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success.
Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods
Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water.
Bat Houses and Boxes
Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.
Provide Passageway Points
If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through.
In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick.
Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles
I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.
So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.
If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.
Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!
That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!
#biodiversity#solarpunk#environmental stewardship#gardening#outdoor gardening#(i know this is literally the Dont Gotta Garden post but these could also be excellent additions to a preexisting garden so)#ani rambles#out of queue#the biodiversity saga#here in the tags to once again emphasize your mileage may vary with all of these#my mom is scared of bats theres no way in hell shes gonna let me put up a bat box#but I have been able to put out a shallow bird bath and a little solarpowered hummingbird bath fountain#do what you can! every bit counts! You may be able to do something that I or your neighbors can't!#for example my nextdoor neighbors have literally no trees in their backyard where the hell would they put a bat box#meanwhile i have trees in my backyard but still can't put up a bat box. maybe the neighbors next to me could!#similarly brush piles are a no go for my family but someone somewhere else could set one up!#i am rambling in the tags now uh long story short do what you can don't stress about what you can't
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Yin and War will do anything for their fans but can they break with BL traditions and give me Jack genuinely having to go after Joke because both of their traumas matter and they both need to put work into this relationship to make it work and to put them on equal footing in this love story rather than it being about Joke always having to apologize for his choices?
#no tags here#negative#deep fear for me y'all#i am so scared that Joke is going to have to keep chasing Jack forever#and that we will never see Jack have to put in emotional labor for the relationship#because the show's focus on class commentary means that Joke's trauma gets constantly downplayed instead of respected#and i fully expect it will happen again#that jack will be hurt and it will all be joke's fault and joke will get no care from him#maybe care from the other friends#but nothing from jack#and jack will go cry alone and then joke will have to get back to him#instead of jack having to make sure joke came back#and i just....#i am so scared#especially after the school scene#where it was so funny that joke couldn't do math and froze and tried to play it lightly but he was SO scared#but the show didn't give his pain any weight
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I have just finished Chapter 10 of Northanger Abbey. Some thoughts:
I kind of wish I had read this book first out of Jane Austen’s works, if only because I would have related to Catherine more
since I’m mostly familiar with Pride and Prejudice and Emma and Persuasion, and a little knowledgeable of Sense and Sensibility, (I have yet to even touch Mansfield yet, I am so sorry) I was immediately like what the heck do you mean Catherine’s got a brother
who is this man?? what is he doing here???
I’ve read too many P&P fics,,, the state of being brotherless is just so ingrained into the story conflicts and character dynamics in my head, whoops
Mr Thorpe was annoying from the first, and he has only gotten on my nerves even more (and do I smell a fortune hunter??)
Isabella is also hmm
at first I was leery of her and Catherine’s friendship because of how she’s older and more polished; I was sceptical of the sincerity of how quickly they seemed to get attached
also I get the vibe that she’s hiding something from Catherine (has she met Tilney before…?)
but if she’s really James’s love interest, then I see her as more harmless; more of a disappointment, less of a threat, I guess?
still absolutely relieved Catherine’s not overly attached to her now though
Miss Tilney intrigues me
I like her so far
might be my favourite character but we’ll see we’ll see
Mr Tilney also intrigues me but less decisively of a favourable bent
I’m kinda suspicious but idrk why
tryna withhold judgement since he hasn’t actually done anything sus yet (that I can think of)
plus I genuinely enjoy his and Catherine’s tête-à-têtes
so mostly on the fence
I am most curious about General Tilney, idk why but he is piquing my interest
the exposition about the late Mrs Tilney seems very deliberate
the whole family is just intriguing I s’pose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
loving the writing, unsurprisingly
I put off Northanger for a long time because I hadn’t expected it to be as lighthearted as it is due to some reviews I’d read but
there do be plenty of funny parts
and of course Miss Austen’s characteristic wit is ubiquitous <3
Please forgive me for any egregious mistakes, I am no literary academic and cannot spot themes or symbols or meta details for my life. 🙏🏽🙏🏽
#a detective’s gallimaufry#austen#northanger abbey#jane austen#i am low-key scared to be putting this in the actual jane austen / northanger abbey tags#because i do not want literature geniuses to see any terrible ““analyses”” that my unlearnèd self has put forth#but ultimately#i think it would be funny#if i have gotten The Very Wrong Impression about something#and educated and/or dedicated fans of jane austen can point and laugh#eta since some people are reblogging the original post saying they hope to see how i like the rest of the book:#check my self-rbs for my reactions to later chapters!#and thank you so much for your validation and encouragement 🤗🤗
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#my Florida shirt just got taken down from Etsy for no fucking reason#Taylor's team just CHUCKED the book at me and fucking LIED in their report to Etsy about it#said I infringed on their trademarks for Lover 1989 and Reputation in their report#and I used.... NONE OF THOSE THINGS. NOT ONE.#that shirt has (obviously) nothing to do with any of those albums even#not in the metadata not in the tags not in the SEO nothing#and since it had no tags of those things it didn't pop up in a sweep and get auto-taken down. it was targeted by them & they manually did i#that design is SO by the book legally and bc of how successful it is I've worked VERY hard to make it that way. even in the SEO#and I mean everything in my shop I go out of my way to make legal but#like that is probably the most actually black and white legal piece of fan merch I've ever seen in my fucking life#but I can't fight back because if I fight back.. if they want it down the next option is prove to Etsy that they're SUING ME#so like. yeah not trying to fuck around and find out there#and that is awful for multiple reasons.#1. I have lost like 90% of my income for the rest of the year. I've grown to rely on income from that shirt as I should bc IT'S FINE#2. it's about to be the holidays. this makes 1 worse and also - people will be searching for this shirt bc it's on ppls holiday wishlists#they now won't be able to find mine#and will therefore google it and buy one of the MILLION FUCKING STOLEN VERSIONS WHICH ARE STILL UP BY THE WAY#and 3. I can't even have these stolen versions taken down anymore because I don't have a leg to stand on since the real thing now doesn't-#exist to prove it's mine#I want to fucking throw up like idk how to do anything other than be sobbing in a fucking ball on the floor#like this is probably the 2nd worst thing that has happened to me in my life lmao#like this shirt was single-handedly paying my rent every month and I had other income but. that shirt was my cushioning#my whole Etsy shop is FUCKED without it like absolutely fucked it was carrying the whole entire thing#I'm scared to upload or DO anything else w my Etsy even because if they just made up lies to get that shirt down#then I am SURE they've got something against me or my shop#and like fucking WHY I work so hard to make everything FAIR AND RIGHT#I worked so fucking hard on that shirt that thing was like my child like my actual full pride and joy#I want to scream I don't even know what to do with myself#it feels like someone just shoved me into a room shut the lights off locked the door and threw away the key#that shirt has been like probably the proudest achievement of my life like no joke and everything I've put into it & my Etsy just got kille
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this is a tiny pet peeve but i think its kinda odd that people seem to like. forget, or maybe just neglect to take into account, that yellow, for whatever reason (whether he's an alt universe john or a fresh piece of this universe's KIY that kayne went and ripped off) has ALSO been trapped in the dark world prior to being with arthur and has exactly as many Feelings about it. this is a very load bearing character trait imo
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#malevolent spoilers#standard ''fandom hermit'' disclaimer most of my perception of common hc/characterization here is just osmosis from fics ive read#this is why i lean way more towards the ''alt timeline john'' idea than anything else#bc how does it work otherwise. did kayne grab a new piece of the king and then. stick it in the dark world to finish cooking?#i mean i wouldn't put it past him i guess it just seems like a needless logistical investment on his part#anyway more to the point. in terms of personality/character i think both of them are several layers removed from the king atp#and it's BECAUSE of the dark world. BECAUSE they went through this process of being helpless and fighting for their lives#that's why yellow is Like That. this is why he bites.#you think the king would be that goddamn defensive and scared and easily cowed by threats?? fuck no. hes better than that#relatedly i think ppl overestimate how much yellow actually remembers of being the king#and correspondingly underestimate how much the persona really is just a mask he grabbed at to defend himself from arthur#''ok you're saying that i am this thing and you hate and fear it so i'll become it and then you'll stop snapping that fucking whip at me''#like cmon. you make a guy feel so fucking lost and small and helpless and then tell him that he used to be a fucking GOD#what is he supposed to do besides lean into that idea in hopes of getting any of that power back to defend himself with??#yellow my poor lil meow meow... my sad wet cat who refuses to admit he is wet or sad...#anyway i'll stop doing character analysis in the tags now
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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yea me too jardon
#captainsparklez#minecraft movie#< do you know how scared i am putting anything in any of these tags last time i posted about captainspaklez i was being gay
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🧍♂️............................................................................................... alright man I'm just going to say it. I'm so hsrpilled that it's making me act out and draw fanart again. look forward to it or else ヾ( ̄▽ ̄)
^ that's a wip
#i'm too scared to check but i think the last stuff i put in my art tag on here is like. fe:fates#YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! AGO#i miss blogging and i'm going to decide to stop being worried about it etc#updates that are not about my life: dr. ratio is my favorite character. if you are in any sustained contact with me you have heard about th#s at least five times#i am 'looking forward to dawntrail' but 'i am not caught up with the last few patches and that is my homework this weekend'#i played the house of fata morgana last year and i'm still a crumbling pile of debris about it. recommend! seek content warnings though LMA#i am playing paranormasight: the seven mysteries of honjo NOW and i'm not done but every time i predict a twist i go heeheheee hoohoHAHA#reading the actual text of mdzs now... on volume 3..........#and just to give you a taste of the REAL WORLD: i am growing out a really stupid haircut.#it's not that bad but man did we miss the mark#my art#wip
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Sad that we don’t see as much Zuki activity on tumblr as we used to but that’s how the whole atla fandom has been lately. I’m glad you ship them tho!
Do you have any spicy Zuki headcanons you’d like to share? 👀 If not that’s fine! Just curious.
Hi anon! God, I haven't been in the ATLA fandom for a long while now, goes to show how dead the zuki fandom is if you're coming to me for it 😭😭😭Rarepair so rare you have to go to an entirely different fandom's blog for your ship. Sad. BUT I APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO ME SO MUCH!!! I am a pokeani blog in spirit but a whateverthefuck/multipurpose blog in practice. I will say though, spicy headcanons are kinda far out of my wheelhouse, and also that fandom's age-up discourse (and everything else discourse) terrifies me so I'm not touching that with a ten foot pole tbh, BUT I can always give other stuff! Ramble under cut.
So, I think I'll just ramble instead of spicy headcanons- one INCREDIBLY FUNNY aspect of Zuki to me is that, in the comics, Suki's kind of giving 'I can fix him', ngl. BUT SHE ACTUALLY CAN, THAT'S THE THING. It's so interesting to me because canon Zuki in the comics is very much founded on that bodyguard/royalty dynamic trust- they have to trust each other with their life if they're going to do the whole bodyguard thing well. And from that trust comes Suki's trust in Zuko as a PERSON. Even when LTIERALLY THE ENTIRE GAANG is like 'ehhh idk he kinda sucks again', Suki's the one who's like 'can you guys chill for .5 seconds and trust him? look at him. he's sad. he needs therapy, not to be killed'.
I think Zuki just WORKS because of that trust. And FROM THAT TRUST, she actually is one of the key reasons they're able to help bring him back from the path he goes down in the comics (which i have not read in forever so pardon innacuracies). So, SHE ACTUALLY CAN FIX HIM. /half joking because obviously it was a ton of his own internal work and growth, but like, from a shitposter's perspective, #icanfixhim.
And that trust goes the other way around the entire way. Not only in Zuko trusting the kyoshi warriors to keep him alive, but Zuko also actually TALKS to Suki and opens up to her in the comics. ZUKO. OPENS UP. TO SOMEONE. AND TALKS TO THEM. AND COMMUNICATES. TO THEM. obviously he trusts her as a bodyguard and a friend IMMENSELY, which provides that super good foundation for something more. He feels safe around her, physically and emotionally, which I think is an incredibly rare honor. (lol, honor. zuko. ykwim. )
I just like bodyguard royalty ships tbh, I'm also a zelink hoe (my main three ships have always been zuki/zelink/contestshipping. not sure what that says about me tbh, other than 'likes m/f but undeniably bisexual ships'), but like, despite being a rarepair, the comics gave us a GOOD DAMN BASIS FOR IT!!!! IT'S ABOUT THE TRUST! THE VULNERABILITY!!!! ramble over, ty for listening to my ted talk.
#zuki#i am nottttt putting this in the main fandom tag dkjfhskdhf. that fandom scared me off ngl#i'm happier sitting here through am*urshipping discourse than kat*ang discourse. sorry.#i picked my poison with pok*ani lmfao. it's shockingly EASIER to avoid ship arguments here tbh#censoring so this only gets in the zuki tag i hope
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actually On Your Feet gave us two good things (well. three if you like Realize which I do). Kohane's "it's frustrating" line and the great crack fic idea of Vivid Bad Squad getting cancelled online for skipping school to yell at The Kotaki Taiga as he was about to go back to America.
#no because. he went there to continue radder's dream yeah? the one about becoming world successful musicians#and they had a record label for a bit. they were definitely going to make it at least somewhat.#so we can assume taiga is at the very least a semi well known musician yeah?#one that someone about to either leave or enter japan might know about. who will see this musician they enjoy#being shouted at by a high school girl in her school uniform about how they will surpass him or something along those lines#with three other kids (in uniform from a different school) standing behind her#and then going onto sekai universe twitter to post about it and the taiga kotaki fans taking it by storm#taiga gets off the plane in america and finds he's trending and it's because people are making fun of a blurry picture of his ex pupil#meanwhile vivid bad squad just don't know because it was contained entirely on twitter and.#be honest can you see any of them having twitter because i can't. an maybe but akito doesn't have time for social media and toya is toya#and kohane is a tumblr girlie if i've ever seen one#however it does give the great concept of someone else seeing it and debating if they should say anything#because mmj definitely has an official account they could have seen it on and also there's ena shinonome and mizuki akiyama#but anyway this also means when they do put on the event to surpass rad weekend (or whatever their goal ends up being)#there will be a crowd of people looking at it and going “isn't that the group of kids that twitter made fun of ages ago?”#and then taiga kotaki stans on sekai universe twitter will be stunned because they did in fact surpass him#if it wasn't for the gcses i would write this but alas. enjoy my weird thoughts#bagel's rambles#project sekai#i am scared to main tag this one but. fuck it we ball
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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I need to think out loud - feel free to ignore
#I really want to quit the event for trans day of visibility#I just don't see what I can give to the conversation#and I haven't for a while now#there is already a person that does all the posters#when I did the budget it was all wrong#half the ideas I've come up with has been having big holes#and honestly I don't think that comfortable in the group#I feel like I am back at school or university being put in a group for a project that I cannot pull out of because it will affect my grade#or the rest of the group's performance#but there's no grades#there is a performance of sort being the event#and that could still be great#but I don't feel like I have the spoons or the experience for this#I am just smiling (barely) and nodding along#yet a part of me are also scared of dropping out now#there is not a lot of time left#and so it wouldn't be fair on the other people to ditch this last minute#but would it be more fair to let me just tag along not doing anything of value?#and I should probably decide soon since we are getting closer#it is this big dark cloud over my thought rn#I am trying to concentrate on my drawing challenge yet I don't have any joy in it#because all my thoughts go to this event#I don't know what to do#I really don't want to do this#but I did say yes#and I hate tapping out and be seen as untrustworthy as well#micahs thoughts
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( T_T)\(^-^ )
#vent(?) ->#ive been wearing bracelets more lately and its making me feel a bit happier#looking down on my arms and seeing cute stuff instead of sh is sort of comforting#and whenever the bracelets have words that i love on them it just makes me feel so happy. i get reminded of the things i love#im putting this in tags instead of in the actual post because i still feel sort of bad talking about this kind of thing#even though i know its okay to..#i think i recommend this if looking at your arms scare you for any reason#im very scared if my arms and hands but if theres cute stuff on it i feel a bit better i think#thats why i draw on my hands and arms too. i put smiley faces on them and i put lain on them so i can always see things that i like#i am not even that good at making bracelets but its been making me feel so happy lately#not even just for myself but for my friends too.. it seems to make them happy :3#i love happiness!!! i love smiling i want to get better. i want to get better SO much even if i dont always feel like i do#i have time to get better even if it feels like everything could end at any second. im going to try and take my time#and try to become a happy person#so i can make other people happy too. i dont know what the point of this post is#i just want somebody out there to know im trying. im sorry
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this sounds extremely fatalistic and especially insane to say during BHM from yours truly, but I'm spiraling and looking at data and the state of the world (& my country specifically) and the stories I want to tell and the people who stories are centered and...
I don't think I ever want to charge money for my games. ever. they'll be free for the unforeseen future because I'm not tanking my health further by stressing out over what hateful, racist, insane players think. I'm already catching strays from trying to have f!MC protagonists??? can you unpack why that makes you wanna lash out and be nasty?? but preferably with someone else that's not me.
people talk such a big game about diversity and being inclusive and listening to Black voices and then turn around do the exact opposite. every single time.
ugh, I have a queued post going up...tomorrow?? that's a reblog from last year, but a warning: I was a very different person with a very different well of energy when I wrote it and when I scheduled that reblog.
#gamedev rambles#I...just wanna tell stories#and experience others' stories#but putting a price tag on me#even when I'm putting in work??#it's so clear what players want (and don't want)#and Crushed did pretty well with a majority Black cast#but it's a BL so I wonder if that cushioned it's fall??#HSD:JY has more scrapes and bruises from the general public (and I try to focus on the positive feedback but like. damn)#and so with The Knight Dance I'm actually scared#because it's an all black cast AND it's sapphic and those are 2 things I discovered a while ago that don't hold ppl's attention#or it does hold attention but the wrong kind#lol does any of this make any sense??#I'm not going to stop making games or being a part of this community#but I am going to shuffle my feet more lol#LOL ramblings brought to you by 1) discord and 2) realizing I effing hate programming and need to find a way to pay someone to#do it moving forward. so. almost zero correlation
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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