#NOT TO MENTION i want to see what my mutuals are posting in real time because i wanna be able to communicate with them???
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narutouzumakiarchive · 12 hours ago
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How to deal with the homophobic and horrible ss, nh, sh etc. stans? Just reading their content makes me feel gaslighted and makes me want to quit my little sns blog, because I feel isolated.
First of all, I'm sorry you feel that way. The best thing to do is honestly to just ignore them. The canon ships, in particular, are horrid and are consequently routinely subjected to lots of criticism by people outside of the carefully constructed echo chambers of canon shippers. SS/NH fans cope with this by harassing SNS shippers who have been a particular source of insecurity for the entire run of the show. There's a reason why they routinely steal from the sns dynamic to prop up their ship and have to rely on fillers and novels and databooks, etc. instead of working with the manga.
This brings me to my next point. Part of the reason they are so emboldened is because the "victors" are the ones who write the story, and they've used this to control the narrative and recontextualize what actually happened during the original run of the story. So, something you should know is that SNS fans have always been right about the core of the manga.
While there were obviously endgame SS/NH believers, the idea that Sasuke/Sakura and Naruto/Hinata were mutually in love was not a unifying factor in those fandoms.
In the Naruto Collector Book 3, there was an interview in which Kishimoto himself acknowledged the fact that Sakura and Hinata's feelings of love were unrequited. This interview is practically lost media, and is conveniently never discussed but the book is still available. The collector series has other interviews with Kishimoto as well.
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But the main point is that this interview was released in 2007, long after we were already into Part 2 of the manga. This firstly debunks the idea that there was a secret budding love story that was sabotaged by SP, though you don't need any interview to tell you that Sasuke literally only thinking of Team 7 during Sakura's love confession, or Naruto not reflecting on any special moments with Hinata was proof enough of the lack of romance. More importantly, however, this is connected to my point about belief in "true love all along" was not a unifying factor in the SS/NH fandoms. Many of them were aware of this interview (see the respective examples of a SS fan and a NH fan reacting to it below) and thus spent their time taking solace in databooks and writing longwinded posts about how mutual romantic development weren't required for endgame.
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What DID unite solo/multshipping SS in particular was the belief that Sasuke considered Sakura special, and thus, she would be the one who helped heal his heart. And this belief is where the real "war" between SS/SNS lied. If you look at old SNS posts, you'll see that there was never a unifying belief that SNS would be canon either, for obvious reasons. You'll notice that many posts were prefaced with some variation of "regardless of the nature of their bond...." because it wasn't so much what they were to each other rather than how significant they were to each other. You'll see a lot of posts about them transcending traditional relationship categories.
So this was the primary context in which SS and SNS fans argued. You can see below just some of the drivel that SS came up with. They have always been relentlessly insecure harassers who used to attack SNS fans for simply seeing the direction in which the manga would go.
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They ignored Naruto making Sasuke's heart beat repeatedly, they ignored Naruto being tied to Sasuke's sharingan transformation — which later in the manga was explicitly called out for being the reflection of the heart that SNS fans postulated it was. They ignored the fact that Sakura was rendered fungible [a fact you can see reflected in the interview below when Kishimoto discusses what makes Team 7 special and completely evades mention of Sakura] and that Kishi usurped moments that could have been special for Sasuke and Sakura by including Naruto (eg. Sasuke bringing up not wanting Naruto to worry in the FOD, Sasuke thinking about Naruto to keep the curse mark at bay as well despite the fact that Sakura was the one who was explicitly worried about him, Sasuke including Naruto and talking about precious nakama in the fight against Gaara despite the fact that Sakura was the only one in mortal danger, etc.). They ignored the fact that Sasuke quite literally hierarchially ranked Naruto as a more intimate friend than Sakura. Harassed SNS fans for pointing out the basic setup in the manga that served to reinforce SNS fans' interpretations because they constructed a version of the manga that was wholly centered on the special and unique "bond" between Sakura/Sasuke.
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All this lasted to the war arc. They twisted themselves in pretzels to argue about how Sasuke leaving Sakura to burn in lava and outright stating that her and Kakashi's lives didn't matter was him repressing his super secret feelings of care for her while attempting to downplay the mutual affection displayed in the SNS bond. Even the more "neutral" pro team 7 SS fans looked for ways to subtly denigrate SNS' bond. Sasuke makes no mentions of Sakura when the 10 tails is about to blow up the shinobi alliance? Who cares because at least Sakura's face doesn't have a cut across it (yes, they really did misinterpret pro SNS moments where Sasuke individuated Naruto as negative). And they did all this while making anti Sasunaru clubs and hiding in forums to complain about how SNS was getting too much focus in the manga (something older fans can attest to) because deep down many of them saw the writing on the wall.
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Now SNS fans, on the other hand, displayed the critical reading skills that the SS fandom lacked — and I don't mean that facetiously. They picked up on the fact that it was significant that Sasuke lost control of himself when Naruto showed up. They understood the significance of Sasuke specifically asking about the status of the 9 tails given the prior context of Sasuke specifically needing to kill Naruto because he wanted to become stronger. They recognized that Naruto was specifically singled out with a cut precisely because he was special by picking up on the patterns peppered throughout the text. They also respected the Team 7 bonds established in Part 1 — they had no need to undermine it because there was a confidence in Naruto/Sasuke's relationship being special — while understanding the disadvantage in the fact that Sasuke and Sakura dynamic always included a "we" (see example from a 2008 analysis below). They knew there would be a reconciliation in which the tension between duty and desire would be resolved and would lead to Sasuke accepting his heart/inner child which would lead him to Naruto.
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And lo and behold, 698 came and SNS fans were validated while SS fans were livid and angry. They complained and harassed SNS blogs and threw tantrums and cried about the manga being retconned. It's so easy for them to pretend they knew everything in hindsight, but the receipts don't lie. There has never been anyone more in denial about the core facts of the manga than SS/NH fans. Don't let them prevent you from supporting SNS. The SNS bond was validated.
Even to this day, they have never gotten over the fact that Sasuke confirmed their worst nightmares which is why they have to cope by literally cropping Naruto out of panels (Look at the 97 likes — and this is tame for them), spreading poor translations, and taking glee in the idea of Kishimoto not being the arbiter of canonicity, so they can take refuge in material not written by him, because they hate what he did write.
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As I type this, they are getting made fun of in different languages and SS fans are coping by pretending that anyone who points out the dysfunction of their implied no kiss couple has has no literacy and is ignoring 700 chapters of development, the development in question being Sakura still acting infantile while Sasuke remains indifferent.
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Why should you feel isolated because you want to support the main bond when SS fans even have to lie about the poorly written filler novels that were expressly created FOR them (eg. Sakura forcefully kissing Sasuke and then Sasuke immediately grabbing Naruto and leaving Sakura to fall off the motorcycle they were all riding on; A scene SS fans repeatedly lied about and repeatedly misrepresented).
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Unfortunately I've nearly run out of images and I didn't even get to finish highlighting all of the lies of SS or discuss NH fans the way I wanted too but please, don't worry about the hate and the homophobia. A significant part of it is them lashing out because of insecurity.
Then and now, nothing has changed.
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They hated the fact that Kishimoto wasn't concerned with Hinata's unrequited feelings and patiently waited for Sasuke to fade into oblivion so Naruto and Hinata could ride off into the sunset. When that didn't come, and Naruto prioritized Sasuke even after Hinata's confession, they took to harassing SNS fans. All they have is a retcon movie that Kishimoto wasn't even devoted to, which is why, in addition to lionizing scenes from the film, they even have to read panels incorrectly to achieve some satisfaction.
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SNS is amazing and enough to keep me occupied, but another way of dealing with the hatred and homophobia (which is the main point of this post) is remembering why it's so rampant in the first place. The reason you feel gaslighted is because they are literally trying to rewrite history (these people have even lied about how much their novel sold and had to be corrected by a sale tracking account).
I haven't even scratched the surface, but you can see a few more examples here, here, here, and here. Giving in to their bullying is how the liars win. Don't let them!
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andorerso · 1 year ago
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can't help thinking about what a blow this is gonna be for gifsets and fanart and fanfics and all other fan-made stuff which are ALREADY getting less and less notes and reblogs
like awesome, now you'll post something and no one's even gonna see it? GREAT idea tumblr thank you
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elllisaaa · 10 months ago
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LOST THE GAME - JAKE. S
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SUMMARY : what was supposed to be the least interesting class of your semester turned out to be the most passionating one when you met jake sim and his tendency to tease. but two could play a game, right ?
-> pairing : college mate!jake x fem!reader
-> words count : 15k
-> genre : college au, smut
-> warnings : switch!jake x switch!reader, teasing, dirty talk, sexting, phone sex, mutual masturbation, praising, dry humping, marking, hair pulling, doggy, unprotected sex, creampie, body worship, use of 'good girl', 'good boy' and 'slut', oral (f. and m. receiving), deep throating, cum play, manhandling, quick mention of choking, fingering, begging, riding, panties sniffing, jake is down bad for yn (yes, that's a warning), nipple play, jake is asking consent a lot and it's sexy.
+ the way i'm depicting jake does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.
-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language
-> author's note : here we are, my not so little gift for you for valentine's day ! i hadn't planned something at first, but it turned out that i finished this not too long before so i decided to post it on this day. it's the first really long fic that i'm posting here, but i enjoy writing them so much ! shoot out to @xhdream that started it all by sending me a gif of jake during our christmas family gathering and messed with my mind 😭😔. this ended up being really self-indulgent but i hope you'll like it as much as i do !
-> masterlist | enha masterlist
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PLAYLIST
🎵 lost the game by two feet
🎶 meddle about by chase atlantic
🎵 i'll make you love me by kat leon
🎶 more by i.m
🎵 it's not easy for you by misamo
🎶 more than friends by isabel la rosa
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Leaving all your friends and family for college was not easy. Your freshman year was really hard, having to manage your classes and doing a part time job to be able to afford your rant, and being in a brand new city you didn’t know anything about, nor had any friends to help and support you. You felt on the edge of giving up just before your finals, but that was when you met your best friend, Yeji. She really was a gift, always smiley and willing to cheer you up. Without her, you really didn’t know if you could have continued university, or got your life back together at all. 
But now, here you were, currently in your third year at college, happy and confident about your future. And you really didn’t want to mess it up, so you remained serious, and worked hard to have the grades you got. Even if for some people, psychology was not a “real” major, it was for you, and it was what you wanted to do for your whole life. And you sometimes wondered how they could say that when you had to take science classes. At first, you were not so excited to follow them, thinking that it would be just another thing you would have to study just for the exams and never remember again, but someone made you change your mind. 
Jake was not in the same major as you, that was why you didn’t see him before the start of this semester but he immediately caught your eyes. Well, it would have been hard not to notice him, or you would’ve been blind, because he was really good looking. He was the cliché of the hot college fuckboy, the one so many rumors were spread about, the one who had supposedly hooked up with half of the campus. 
Despite that, you were not one to have prejudices against people you didn’t know, so you gave him a chance, mainly because he was attractive and exactly your type, and also because he seemed to be the only other student to be invested in this class. Surprisingly, he was always participating, sometimes before you even had the chance to do so, and he was doing his work everytime. And so on, he became even more your type because smart people were automatically the most fuckable in your eyes. 
However, you tried to not let your interest in him show. It seemed like he already had an ego, you were not here to fuel it even more. So you stuck to staring at him during your shared classes, under the excuse that you were only closely listening to his answers to your professor's questions. That was until he suddenly decided to sit down by your side on one random Thursday. 
“- Is that seat taken, or can I ?”
You lifted your head, even if you had grown familiar to the sound of his voice by now, seeing Jake, waiting for your approval with a grin on his face. Well, he was asking kindly and really, you could not refuse to have your crush sit with you. You simply nobbed, taking off your bag from the chair so he could sit down. 
“- Thanks !
- No problem.”
Regardless of the confidence you were trying to keep on, you were feeling incredibly nervous. It was the first time you and Jake were this close. Sure, you had talked to each other before, picking up on something one of you had said in class to add other information or to correct each other. But that was it, nothing more. So to suddenly have him so close to you was very strange, but at the same time, you were giddy, like a high-schooler confessing her love to her first crush. 
“- Did you understand the paper we had to read for today ?”
Jake's voice straddled you as you were lost in your thoughts, but you quickly composed yourself again, doing your best to hold his intense gaze. 
“- Yeah. Or at least, I think so, but I struggled a little bit at first. Why did you want to know ?
- Well, you’re the only one except me that seems to give a damn about this class, and you’re smart, so I thought that maybe you could help me, because I didn’t understand anything !”
You chuckled at the defeated tone he used for his last words, perfectly getting his disappointment of not assimilating a new thing immediately, it was frustrating. But at the same time, butterflies erupted in your stomach at the thought of Jake having noticed you. And he was saying you were smart on top of that ? What started as a not so good day was turning into a much better one. 
“- Of course, no problem. We have some time left before Mr. Lee arrives, so maybe we could go over the paper and you stop me every time there’s something you didn’t get ?
- Works for me ! Thank you Y/N.”
The way he said your name had you fighting demons not to blush and try to concentrate on bacteria and immune system instead of his bright smile and beautiful face. But it was not easy to stay focused when he brought his chair closer to yours so he could have a better view of the drawings you were making to materialize what was explained in the paper. You could feel Jake’s warmth through your clothes and it was so hard to resist the urge to turn your head and just look at him. Thanks to some magical forces surely, you got to the end of it when your professor entered the classroom, greeting his students. 
“- It’s so much easier when you explain everything to me, you’re very good at that, you know ?”
And he was at it again with the compliments, and you were trying to repress a stupid smile from eating up your face once again, whispering when you answered him in order not disturb Mr. Lee, who had already started today’s lesson. 
“- I’m glad I could help.”
Jake's response came in the way of a smile before the two of you started to take notes of what your professor was saying, not having much time to discuss throughout the class. These lectures were always very intense but also very interesting, so you didn’t mind the fast rhythm with which you were approaching each subject. You thought about asking Jake his number at the end of the class, just in case he had another problem with something related to this class of course ! A few years back, you wouldn’t even have dared to consider something like that, but right now you were thinking “why not ?” If anything, he would say no and end of the story. So as you were packing up your things, you started to get your phone out when you were interrupted by Jake once again.
“- I have a class now, but if I could have your number it would be very helpful, because there’s still some things I can’t get a grasp of, if you don’t mind of course !”
You smiled back, taking his phone and typing your number in the new contact he had created before handing the device back to him.
“- Actually, I was going to give it to you anyway. You’re pretty smart too, and you’re funny so it’s not a waste of time.”
Jake chuckled as he put his phone in his back pocket after checking the time. He was going to be late to his next class, but who cared when he finally got to talk to the girl he had a crush on since the beginning of the year ? Certainly not him. 
“- I’ll make it worth it, promise ! Huh, I really have to go but I’ll text you later pretty.”
With a wink, he was gone and left you behind with a beating heart and a stupidly big grin stretching out your lips. 
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From this day on, Jake sat next to you every time you shared your science classes. And even if the seat was empty last week because Yeji was sick that day, she happily let the guy take her place with a knowing look on her face, wiggling her eyebrows every time he walked in and greeted you. You acted annoyed every time, but really, it was funny how supportive she was - sometimes, you worried that she was more excited about the whole situation than yourself. 
“- Is it Jakey again ?”
You rolled your eyes as you picked up your phone from the kitchen counter where Yeji and you had spread all your work sheets and textbooks to study. It was Sunday, and you often reserved it to work together and then relax with a movie, while doing each other's skincare and gossiping. 
When you first came to the city for college, you had rented a small apartment with another girl you didn’t know. At the end of your freshman year, she left and since Yeji was searching for a new place to stay because her last roommate was insufferable, you had proposed to her that you live together. She really was the best friend you could ask for, and also the best roommate. But sometimes, just sometimes, you wished she didn’t know you so well as she fake gaged when you laughed at the last text Jake had, indeed, sent to you. You wrote a quick answer before going back to your cognitive psychology assignment. 
“- And what if it is him ? You’re jealous ?
- Of a man ? Never !”
Both of you laughed at her remark, not able to hold back yourselves after being focused for such a long time and having spent the whole afternoon studying. 
“- No but seriously, what do you think of him ?”
You were not one to let other people direct the way you acted or lead you on to choices you wouldn’t have made by yourself but you valued Yeji’s opinion, and she always had something to say about your crushes. Sensing that the subject was no longer meaningless, your best friend put her pen down, thinking for some time about your question.
“- Well, you know all the rumors about him right ?”
You nodded. Of course you knew, especially since you started to talk with Jake two months ago, you paid a lot more attention to the conversations of other students about him. They were all saying that he was a typical frat boy, going to parties, not caring about going to school, and fooling around with every girl he found attractive. But you already knew that a part of that was not true. He was often sending you some parts of texts or lessons he didn’t understand for you to explain, he was really invested in what he was doing, and he had even told you that he was not here to skip classes.
“- And you also know that Lia is friends with his roommate Jay ?”
Again, you nobbed. You knew Lia too, because she was one of Yeji’s childhood friends. You were a little less close to her but she really was a very sweet girl, and you loved to spend time with her. 
“- She told me that Jake was not how everyone is depicting him. Apparently, it’s only because he’s spending time with Heeseung and his frat, and because he hooked up with a random girl at a party during our freshman year. And from there, people created him a reputation, and he never really tried to deny it because, well, everyone would assume that based on his looks and who he’s hanging out with. 
- I guess, yeah. I thought that too when I first met him. And that doesn’t surprise me, he cares too much about his studies to be a frat boy.”
Yeji laughed again, detaching her long, ginger, hair from the hair clip that was holding them in place.
“- I agree, he’s too smart too, and too sweet with you. He genuinely seems like a good guy, and not every guy out there gets your humor so…”
You threw a random highlighter in her direction, pretending to be vexed by her comment.
“- And I didn’t see you smile so much since that dick left you this summer, so I sadly have to validate him.”
Yeji let out a defeated sigh while shaking her head, making you smile again. It was true that you had a hard time because of your “ex”, if you could really label him like that. He was just a guy you met at a party just after your finals were over, and from there, you started to be in some kind of situationship, that was becoming serious for you, but not for him apparently since he left you over a single text and not even an apology. But you were fully over it now, and ready to welcome someone in your life - and bed - again. 
“- I’m glad you’re thinking the same.”
She simply gave you a smile before stretching her arms over her head, repressing a yawn as she did so. 
“- I’m thinking about wrapping up this study session and getting on to the movie.
- Oh my god, yes, thank you ! My brain stopped working one hour ago !”
You both started to tidy up the counter, putting your sheets back in your binder and your pens back in your case. 
“- You order while I’m hopping in the shower ?
- No problem ! Pizza and sushi ?
- You know me so well !”
You giggled as Yeji disappeared in her room, closing the door behind her and letting you finish with your mess. When your phone received another notification, you picked it up again, not holding back your smile when you saw Jake’s contact name popping up this time. 
jakey :  wow ! working on a sunday ? you have a stronger will than me ! you :  ahah only because i’m not doing it alone !  otherwise, i would lie in my bed all day, not doing anything lmao what are you doing ? jakey :  [attachement : 1 image] just relaxing while watching a movie it’s pretty boring tho…
You were not expecting this photo to be a shirtless one of Jake, sprawled out on his bed, and looking at the camera with a pout on his face. You had to pick up your jaw from the floor and mentally stop yourself from drooling over his abs, and his chest, and his arms, and the gray sweatpants hanging low on his waist. Was that flirting ? It was, for sure. Why would he send you that if it wasn’t ? But how could you respond to that ? Sending a picture of the same type seemed a little too provocative, and you didn’t want to interpret the signs wrong. If he was doing this after only two months, what would he be willing to do in a few weeks ? You were curious to see how far he would go to seduce you. 
jake :  why are you not answering pretty ? too busy checking me out ? 😉 you :  in your dreams. jake :  oh yeah, don’t worry about that, my dreams are already filled with your cute face.
You didn’t dare ask him what he meant by that, busying your mind by ordering your dinner and trying to get the image of Jake’s chest out of your mind.
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The whole task of not getting your hopes up revealed to be a lot more difficult than you thought it would be when the universe seemed to team up against you. Or at least, you saw it like that as your professor was listing the groups for the new project of the semester.
“- Y/N and Jake, I want you two together for this. Usually, I’d put you in a weaker group to help but I’m very curious to see what you can do when working hand in hand. And that’s all for today everyone, I’ll see you next week and don’t forget to tell me the angle your presentation will address.”
You couldn’t believe that Mr. Lee really did this. It was not that you were horrified by the idea of having to work with Jake, it was the contrary, really, but it also meant spending a lot of time together, because you wanted your presentation to be perfect. You would have to go to the library together, or go work at his dorm, or invite him to your apartment, and all that will certainly not help you to stop your little - or rather big - crush on him, and neither will it help you to stay focused. 
“- You don’t seem so delighted by the news, pretty.”
His voice interrupted your thoughts, and you lifted your head to meet his pouty face, the one he always had on when he was trying to get your attention. It was cute. And his puppy eyes were too. And there, you were feeling all fuzzy inside once again.
“- Who would be delighted to know that we have a presentation that counts for half of the final note to do before the end of the month ?
- When you put it this way… But I was not really talking about that.”
You sighed as you stood up, checking the time because you had to join Lia and Yeji at your favourite café soon. 
“- I know Jake. I have to go but I’ll text you later to let you know when I am free so we can start to work on that. Bye.”
Jake stood there, mouth slightly open as if he wanted to add something but couldn’t with how fast you left. All this made him wonder if he read the signs wrong or not. He didn’t imagine the way you were often staring at him. He didn’t miss the few times your eyes flicked down to his lips when he was talking to you. He didn’t imagine the way you were shivering every time he touched you, intentionally or not. He didn’t miss how you were always smiling when he was teasing you, even if you tried to look annoyed. 
Or was it only pretending ? Jake didn’t know anymore. But you were not the type of girl to do that, right ? He watched you from afar since he saw you for the first time in this science class, noticing how kind you were with everyone, how funny you were, how pretty you looked, and he also noted how many boys tried to hit on you, and how many of them you sent away. 
That was why he approached you as a friend. Because at least, even if he didn’t succeed in charming you, you could be friends. And it worked until now, you were getting closer and he even saw you blush one or two times when he made a flirty joke. So he didn’t understand why you were like that today. Maybe it was only a bad day for you, you seemed off and didn’t participate as much as usual. It should be that, yeah. That, or Jake was a total fool. 
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“- You know the rules Y/N ! You’re late, you pay !”
You sighed but got your wallet out. You were rarely late anyway, so it was not often that you had to pay for the three of you. Your two friends had already ordered your favourite drink and you made your way to the counter to pay before returning to your table and finally relaxing for the first time since you woke up. 
“- You seem exhausted today.”
You nodded at Lia’s word, taking a sip of your caramel latte before answering her indirect question. 
“- I am. I’ve been running all day ! I was late to my first class because my bus times changed and I didn’t know, so I had to wait for the next one and you know Mr Kim, he hates it when we are late and he literally humiliated me in front of the whole class. Then, I realized that I had forgotten the assignment that I had to hand back for one of my lectures, so I had to rush home to get it on my lunch time and couldn’t eat. And the cherry on top is that Mr Lee paired me up with Jake Sim for our next presentation.
- Wow ! That’s a lot, my dear !”
You nodded again, leaning against Yeji’s shoulder to seek some affection and comfort. 
“- Well, all that sucks, but I don’t see how having to spend more time with your crush can be a bad thing ?
- It’s not ! That’s the worst part, I think that he thinks that I don’t want to work with him because I was so dry when I talked to him today, and he looked like a kicked puppy and now I feel guilty.”
Lia reached over to stroke your arm and try to make you feel a little bit better. She knew that you could spiral about the smallest thing you were saying or doing sometimes, overthinking every interaction you had with other people.
“- Just apologize next time, and that should be good. This is nothing that you can’t fix.
- Why are you always right ?”
The blonde shrugged before taking a sip of her own drink, while Yeji led the conversation to how her own day went. But you couldn’t stop thinking about how Jake’s smile fell when he sensed that you were not as enthusiastic as him to work together. You took your phone out, opting to send him a text now, even if you knew that he would not answer right away because he still had some other classes. 
you :  i am free this weekend and wednesday afternoon to work on the project. and sorry if i was too harsh earlier, i just had a really bad day, it was nothing against you. 
You shut off your phone, not expecting a notification to light up the screen just seconds after your last message, trying to hold back a smile from stretching your lips. 
jakey :  this weekend seems good, but i’m going back to my parents so we’ll have to facetime 😉 don’t worry about that pretty, i figured it was not me you were mad at i’m here if you need to talk. you :  i’m good now, but thank you, you’re sweet i’m staying here so call me when you have a moment. and stop texting while you’re in class, idiot !
As he answered you again just to tease you, the weight on your chest flew away. Jake really was a sweet guy, you just couldn’t believe that he was interested in you. He was popular around the campus, whether because of all the rumors about him - mostly false, but they were spreading fast - or because he was incredibly handsome, and a lot of girls were after him, numerous of whom were prettier than you. That was why you had so much trouble understanding why he chose to text you so much. It was not like you to doubt yourself like that, but for some reason, Jake was making you really nervous. Maybe because it was the first time in a while you were really interested in somebody, past just physical attraction, and you didn’t want to fuck it up. 
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You read Jake's last text again, the one in which he was telling you that he was going to call you in five minutes, just the time for him to gather all the things he needed to work, and you couldn’t stop biting your nails. There was no logical reason for you to be so stressed out about facetiming with him, especially since it was only to talk about a school project, but you were. You checked your appearance in the little mirror above your desk one more time, but didn’t really get the time to fix your hair, your phone ringing straddling you as you picked up the call immediately, setting up the device against your laptop so it would stay in place without you needing to hold it. 
“- Hi pretty !
- Hi Jake, how you doing ?”
You tried to ease your mind by making small talk with him, but you were distracted every now and then by how veiny his hands were, or by how comfortable his thigh looked to sit on, pressing your own together to stop the warmth spreading in your lower half. It was really not the moment to think about that, even if it was not the first time nor would it be the last. 
“- Did you have an idea of how we could talk about this in an original way ? Because I’m warning you, I don’t want this to be only a boring, classical presentation.”
Jake's deep voice as he chuckled sent your mind to other places you shouldn’t go while working on a science group project. 
“- I should have known you’ll be like this. I’ll send you the research I’ve done so far and you tell me if you see something interesting.”
This was enough to get you to concentrate back on what you had to do, and as soon as you chose your angle, you started to work properly, sometimes making comments that made the other laugh. However, Jake was not able to focus on the article in front of him, too immersed in the contemplation of your figure to get anything done. 
Why did you have to wear this fucking top ? The straps wouldn’t stop falling off from your shoulders, showing a little more skin of your cleavage everytime it did, before you’ll put them in place again. And he could see that you were not wearing a bra, your nipples poking through the material of your top, allowing him to think about how much he wanted to see you naked, how much he wished he could touch them, lick them, suck on them. Your hair were put up in a messy ponytail, and with your glasses on and the serious look on your face, he couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to fuck you from behind for some obscure reasons. 
And well, it seemed like he got a little too entranced by his own thoughts because Jake could feel his cock twitch in his pants. Swearing under his breath, he turned around in his desk chair to grab a pillow from his bed and put it on his lap. He didn’t want you to notice that he was hard, the risk being that you would take him for a pervert, which he maybe was but he didn’t want you to think that of him. He was trying to be the perfect, sweet guy. He wanted to take you on proper dates, and offer you flowers before initiating anything sexual between the two of you, even if it was you he saw every time he was jerking off, even if he sometimes had to go to the bathroom after your shared classes because the vision of your thighs in a skirt was enough to make him pop a boner. 
Sadly, the shuffling sounds he made while reaching for his pillow intrigued you enough for you to lift your head and look what Jake was doing, seeing him quickly put the cushion on his lap before going back to taking notes about the article. You weren’t thinking about something naughty for once, only up to tease him a little bit. 
“- What’s with the pillow ? Are you hard or something ?”
Your smirk widened when you saw his ears grow red. It was the first time you were witnessing a blushing Jake, and well, the view was interesting and too funny to let it slide. 
“- Don’t tell me you really are ?”
Jake didn’t dare to look at you anymore, his gaze lost in contemplating one of the posters on his walls, so much more interesting right ? How could he explain himself to you without saying anything disrespectful, because the thoughts he was having just before weren’t really ones a well-mannered and polite guy should have. All he wanted right now was to be swallowed by the floor and bury himself six feet under.  
“- What were you thinking about ? Me ?”
At the way Jake lowered his head even more, you figured that it was, in fact, you that got him hard. And what was supposed to be a silly little joke turned into a whole lot more. The way your laugh died in your throat when you realized made Jake feel even more nervous that he had really made you uncomfortable and that you wouldn’t want to see his face ever again. 
“- I-I am really sorry… Please, don’t think that I'm a creep Y/N ! It’s just… Fuck ! You’re just so hot with your glasses, and your top won’t stop showing your skin, and that’s so embarrassing but it turns me on how smart you are and you explain to me all these things like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever come across.”
You couldn’t believe what you just heard, and it was apparently showing as Jake spared you a glance and turned away immediately, groaning about how stupid he was, and that you could insult him as much as you wanted if it made you feel better. 
“- Jake, just stop and look at me.”
It took some seconds for him to do so. It was a good thing you didn’t decide to end the call and your friendship with him already, he was not going to talk again and push his luck. When his eyes finally landed on you, he gulped loudly, trying to stop himself from getting turned on even more by the intense look you gave him. 
“- Show me. 
- W-What !?
- Show me what I do to you. And maybe I’ll show you what you’re doing to me.”
It was Jake's turn to not believe his ears. He must have looked so dumb, with his mouth hanging open and blinking repeatedly without saying anything because you chuckled cutely at him, pushing your chair back a little. And this time, when you let the straps of your top fall down, it was done on purpose, encouraging Jake to throw away that damn pillow and allow you to take in the appealing view of his boner. He was wearing these grey sweatpants again, and you couldn’t help licking your lips when you imagined how big his dick would be. 
“- I wanna see more, this is not enough for me to forgive you.”
Even if his heart was about to burst out of his chest, a little smirk started to spread on his face. He wasn’t in a position to negotiate, but he liked the game you were leading him into. And your wish was his command. Without a word, Jake got rid of his shirt, throwing the piece of clothing away before looking back at you, happy to find you biting your lips while checking him out. 
“- Like what you see ?
- Don’t be so cocky, you still have to make it up to me.
- And what do you want, pretty ?”
You pretended to think about it, using it as an excuse to drool over his abs a little longer. Because yeah, Jake was insanely hot, and even if you didn’t want him to see how affected you were, your drenched panties should be enough of a clue. 
“- I want to see you jerk off for me. And I want you to tell me all the things you’ve been thinking about doing to me.”
Jake immediately stood up from his desk chair, throwing his sweatpants and boxer away while a quiet “fuck” fell from his lips, bringing a smirk to your face. This was getting way more interesting than science. When he sat down again, you only needed to tilt your head to the side for him to start stroking his cock slowly, releasing a sigh that had you pressing your thighs together to try and relieve some of the pressure you felt building up. Your eyes couldn’t leave his hard dick, wondering about how good he would fill you up, how good he would feel inside of you. 
“- So ? Aren’t you going to say anything ?”
The sound of his hand around his cock was starting to resonate in his room, spreading his pre-cum onto his shaft and going faster. He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about you wanting to know his fantasies about yourself, sitting there so prettily but still fully clothed, while he was jerking off for your eyes only. 
“- I-I thought a lot about… About fucking you, especially when you’re wearing these damn skirts.
- What about my skirts ? Don’t you like them ?”
If he wasn’t already blushing, he was definitely right now, not only because of his confession, but mostly because your pouty lips had him thinking about sliding his cock between them and he felt close to cumming already just because of this, just because you were playing with him and he loved it a little too much.
“- Fuck ! I do, I do, but they make me want to eat you out so bad, you have no idea how hard it is to sit next to you when you have them on.”
Jake closed his eyes for a few seconds, missing your proud smile as you watched his face scrunch up in pleasure. Since he did nothing but listen to you – and make you even more wet –  you decided to reward him by removing your tank top, letting him finally see your breast. 
“- You’re so hot Y/N… I wanna touch you…
- But you’ll just have to watch for now, okay ?”
For now ? Jake didn’t want to dig on what you meant, too entranced by the sight of your hands coming up to play with your nipples like he dreamt about doing, forcing another moan out of his mouth. How bad he wished he was the one massaging your boobs right now, how bad he wanted them in his mouth and your hands tugging on his hair. 
“- I want to see more of you, pretty, please…”
Your eyes shifted from his dick to his face, your mouth watering at his fucked out look zeroing on your hands on your chest and fingers pinching your nipples. But hearing Jake beg for you was too pleasing, you needed more of his pleas, more of his airy moans. It was like a drug you were slowly becoming addicted to. 
“- Beg some more, and I’ll think about it. 
- Please Y/N, please, it’s not fair, I want to see your pussy, been dreaming about it, please.”
The fact that he didn’t even hesitate before doing it made your head spin with want, clouding your mind with lust as you got rid of your clothes too and sat down in front of the camera again. 
“- Shit ! You’re so fucking hot pretty, making me want to fuck you so bad. 
- I really wished you were here Jake, wished you could be the one touching me like that.”
As you were talking, you spread your legs for him, your feet sitting on your desk so he had a full view of your soaked pussy and your little fingers playing with your clit. 
“- Is it enough for you ? Or do you want even more ?”
The way Jake’s tongue poked out of his mouth to lick his lips had you thinking back to him eating you out, and how good that would feel. A soft whimper escaped you when you slipped two fingers into your hole, too excited to wait for his answer. The way he was lazily stroking his cock was driving you insane, and you didn’t care if you looked desperate for him anymore, because you were and all you wanted was him right now. 
“- Would feel so much better if it was your fingers…  
- You don’t know how much I want that… You’re so wet, you’re dripping everywhere baby, fuck ! I want to lick your pretty cunt so bad….”
Another moan rolled off your tongue, closing your eyes for a second before opening them again because you didn’t want to miss the show Jake was putting on for you, his hand moving way faster now that he got to witness your naked body and the sinful vision you offered him. Your fingers couldn’t reach that spot you knew he could have, knew that his long hands would be perfect for you. 
“- You want that pretty ? Want me to eat your pussy ? 
- Oh god, yes ! Please Jake, I need it, I need you…”
The way you were saying his name, full of lust and desire, had him coming close to the edge already. He wished he was with you right now, wished he could hear you scream it again and again, wished you would beg him more and more. 
“- I need you too, need you to sit on my cock and ride me.”
He was sitting in the perfect position for you to do just that, and the image wouldn’t leave your mind. You abandoned your nipple to play with your clit, your thighs shaking as you approached your climax. 
“- I’m so close, feels so good… 
- Me too… Cum for me Y/N.”
This was all you needed for your orgasm to wash over you, clenching so hard around your fingers you could barely move them anymore, circling your clit until it felt too much. Jake had to bite his lips and quickly remind himself that he was not home alone to hold himself back from releasing a litany of filthy moans as he spilled all over his abs, covering them in his release that you wanted to lick off from his body so badly. 
During a moment, the only sound was the one of your heavy breathing, trying to get a hold of what just happened. As you were about to say something, a knock against your door interrupted your thoughts, eyes widening in surprise. You rushed to end the call with Jake, not even taking the time for a goodbye before dressing up quickly and trying to not look like you just had the best orgasm of your life as you opened the door of your bedroom. 
“- Are you alright ? I thought I heard you scream…”
You smiled innocently at your Yeji, hoping that she would not interrogate you further because your legs were still weak and trembling and your face was obviously flushed.
“- Oh, yeah, I just hit my toes against the bed, that’s why.”
Luckily, she seemed to accept your excuse and you plopped down on your bed after closing the door behind you. What the fuck just happened ? Did you really have sex over a facetime with Jake ? It was usually something you dreamt about but that never occurred in real life. But with the way he was blowing up your phone, there was no way this was not true. 
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If you thought that this would ease the tension between the two of you, you were definitely wrong. Because when you saw each other for the first time after this one call, you felt ten times more attracted to him than before, almost getting wet just seeing him smirk at you as you entered the classroom. Sure, you had texted each other during the week, but neither one of you dared to address the subject directly, too embarrassed and afraid that it would ruin everything. 
But you couldn’t lie : you wore the shortest skirt you owned today on purpose, only because you wanted a reaction out of him. And a reaction you got. As soon as Jake took in your entire outfit, his gaze darkened, mouth opening just enough for his tongue to dart out and lick his lips as if he wanted to devour you. If you weren’t wet already, now, your panties were definitely soaked with the way he was eying you up and down. 
“- Hi Jake ! How was your weekend ? Must have been great to see your parents.”
He didn’t expect you to strike up such a casual conversation with him, but his mind was already far away, staring at the way your skirt rode up your thighs when you sat down, revealing even more of your skin. Jake had to turn his gaze away from you for a few moments to focus back on how to form sentences and answer you. 
“- It was cool, yeah. And how was yours ? Did you have fun ?
- Actually, it was very fun. Something interesting happened.”
The grin stretching out your lips didn’t go unnoticed, Jake’s eyes zeroing on them and wishing he could kiss you right now, wishing he could have you grinding down on his lap and making out with him. He was snapped out of his daydreaming when Mr.Lee entered the classroom loudly, as usual. 
“- Hello everyone ! Today you’re gonna work on your projects, and I’ll come see where all of you are so I can help you if you need it.”
Working together turned out to be way more complicated than you thought it would. Jake wouldn’t stop subtly caressing your arms or your hands, coming way more closer to you than necessary when you had something to show him, his thigh pressed against yours underneath the table. But two could play a game, right ? Too bad you dropped your pen on the floor and had to get up to pick it up. Too bad your skirt was so short that when you bent over, Jake could catch a glimpse of your panties. Too bad the hand you landed on his thigh to get his attention was so close to his crotch. 
By the end of the class, you were just dying to come back home and relieve the unbearable heat you were feeling, almost squirming in your chair. If he had you wrecked with only that, you didn’t dare to think of how good he would actually be able to ruin you. But what was infuriating was how he didn’t even seem to be affected by the whole situation, despite his leg bouncing up and down, and his lips swollen from biting them. Still, you wanted to get back at him. After all, it was his fault if your call took another turn, and it was his fault your panties were ruined right now. 
With how fast you escaped the classroom, Jake didn’t expect you to ask him to meet up, especially in an area he knew was unknown by most students. His body was tingling in anticipation, wondering what you were going to do next. Maybe he loved this little game too much, and maybe it was risky because he almost popped a boner in class, but it was worth it if it was for you. 
“- What do you want pretty ?
- Give me your hand.”
You could see that he was confused, but he did what you asked nevertheless, so you could place something in his palm, closing his fingers around what seemed to be a piece of fabric, which was a little damp. 
“- You feel how wet you made me ? This is what you do to me Jake. Now, enjoy your next classes.”
He watched you go away, definitely hard this time when he realized you really gave him your panties, and that the material was, in fact, soaked in your juices. Behind you, you heard him swear loudly and rush to his class to not be late, a smirk spreading on your lips. It was his turn to suffer a little. 
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Jake didn’t even take the time to greet his roommate when he came home, tracing a beeline to his room and locking the door before he dropped his bag on the floor. He got out your panties that were stuffed in his pocket, the fabric still a little wet. You were the reason he didn’t pay attention to his last class of the day, not able to understand a single thing his professor was saying. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to jerk off with them, couldn’t stop thinking of you going home with nothing underneath your skirt. 
That was enough to make him hard all over again. Quickly, Jake got rid of his jeans and underwear, laying down on his bed with a hand already wrapped around his painfully hard dick. Without an ounce of shame, he lifted your panties to his nose, inhaling your scent and immediately moaning. He was already addicted to this, to you, to the way you were playing with him. 
Jake could already feel his tip leaking pre-cum, and he knew that he was not going to last long, especially after you had edged him all day. It was as if he could still feel your hand on his thigh, too close to his crotch for his sanity. And every time you touched his arm to have his attention, it was like your fingers were leaving a trail of fire behind them, a shiver running down his spine every time your warmth left him. 
The smell of your juices was driving him insane, sticking his tongue out to lick it off the material. He sped up his movements unconsciously, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, incapable of holding back his moans anymore. He didn’t care if Jay could hear him or not, he didn’t care if what he was doing was disgusting, if he was a creep for loving it all. You already tasted like heaven like this, and he knew that as soon as you’d let him go down on you for real, he would never want to pull out from your pussy ever again. 
Once he could taste nothing but his own saliva that had completely drenched your panties, he wrapped it around his cock, the friction feeling so much better than his own hands, but not coming close to what yours would feel, he knew it. His mind couldn’t stop drifting away to a sick scenario in which you were watching him do all that, in which you were telling him how disgusting he was, in which he was begging for you to touch him. The thought was enough to push him over the edge, moaning your name loudly as he came all over this stomach and your panties. 
“- Fuck…”
Without a second thought, he reached for his pants on the floor, getting his phone out to take a picture of the mess he had made. The material was still wrapped around his cock, making sure you had a great view of his abs covered in his cum and his tip still leaking. As soon as he hit “send”, Jake plopped down on the sheets again, closing his eyes for a while. He knew he had to get up, take a shower and do his homework, but the only thing plaguing his mind was you. Only you. 
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Of course, the teasing didn’t stop there, neither of you being able to stop. You had sexted each other during classes, not paying any attention to the actual lesson, too busy telling the other the dirtiest things. It felt even better when Jake did it during your science class, blowing up your phone with messages filled with praises of how gorgeous you looked today, of how your outfit was suiting you perfectly, of how much he wished he could fuck you on your desk right now, of how much he just wanted to get out of here and show you how good he could make you feel. 
You had not given up on your skirts and dresses, which were getting shorter and tighter as time went on. And Jake had not given up on putting his hand on your thigh, which was getting closer and closer to your core everytime you were sitting side by side. The flirting comments he whispered in your ears got more and more unhinged, and the pictures you sent to him got more and more revealing. Jake had started to save them in a locked file, but always making sure to send something back so it was fair - and not at all because he loved the idea of you drooling over his body, or touching yourself while looking at his nudes. 
And even if Jake loved the game, he couldn’t wait for the moment he would finally have you. Because he was so close to breaking down the act when you sent him an audio message of you moaning his name, going on and on about how much you wished he was with you right now, about how much you needed him. It was late at night, and Jake was ready to go to sleep, but he was quick to slip his hand in his underwear, jerking off to the sound of your whines and begs that he listened to on repeat from this moment on. And he was seeing so clearly the sinful image of you fingering yourself that hadn’t left his mind since this video call, the same image that was imprinted in his memories. 
He was almost ready to go out at 1am and come to your apartment, but he was too tired and mostly, he wanted to win, even if it was pointless because he knew that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. So he settled on sending you a video just when he was coming, while telling you how bad he wished you could be riding him right now, how bad he wished he could fill you up with his cum. And you replied with a close up of your wet pussy that ended up in his locked file. 
It was also very fun to talk casually in front of everyone else, as if Jake wasn’t fucking you with his eyes, as if you hadn’t sent him another filthy text last night where you were calling him your good boy. The sexual tension between you and Jake was so high that neither Yeji or Jay could even bear to look your way without being disgusted - their words, not yours. And the way you were both always smiling, giggling and blushing everytime the other sent you something had your two friends desesperate for you to finally fuck each other and stop flirting in front of them - again, their exact words. You knew Yeji was happy for you and just liked to tease, but you were just as eager as her to get laid. 
But you will not be the one to give up. You wanted Jake to surrender before you did. Why ? Just because it was much more fun that way. Hence why you were standing so close to Jungwon. And Jake was clearly not having it, watching the two of you from his seat in the classroom, jaw clenched and gaze burning a hole in your friend’s back. The way you were touching his arm and laughing at his jokes shouldn’t have made him jealous. After all, you were not his, you were not his girlfriend, and he didn’t even kiss you yet. But still, it didn’t stop him from wanting to swat Jungwon away from you when he hugged you. 
Your innocent smile as you sat next to him and asked him how his day went so far did not help. He could see right through you, could see that you did that on purpose. And this time, it worked. Jake didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want this to stop, but he had to do it or he would go insane. While you were cautiously taking notes, he took his phone out, accustomed to texting you during class by now. During a little break, you looked at your phone and grinned seeing a new message from Jake, asking you to join him in the same corridor you gave him your panties a few weeks before. You had to bite your lips to not let a big smile invade your whole face, because you knew very well what it meant, your body tingling with excitement. 
At this point, Jake had no self control anymore. All he wanted was you. All he needed was you. And he was not going to survive if he didn’t actually have you in the next few minutes. However, a small part of him was anxious, overwhelming him with the doubt that maybe, just maybe, you really only wanted the game, and not him. He should have heard your footsteps resonating in the empty hallway, but he was into his thoughts and only did acknowledge your presence when you came into his view, not letting him utter a word before you grabbed him by his jacket and kissed him. His brain stopped working, wide eyed and not moving until you let him go. 
“- Are you okay ?”
Jake shook his head at you, before reaching to grab your waist, pushing you against the nearest wall, lips only inches away from yours. 
“- No… You’ve been driving me crazy since the first day Y/N, I want you.
- Then take me.”
That was all he needed to lean in and kiss you again, harder, messier as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You moaned against his lips, tugging him closer to you by his jacket and he took the hint, pushing his body impossibly close to yours. The way he was kissing you, as if he had an insatiable hunger for you, had you wet in seconds, and you could feel his boner pressing against your thigh, an obvious proof that you were just as desperate for this to happen. 
Neither one of you was thinking about the fact that you were in a hallway, and that anyone could walk in on you, heavily making out. It didn’t matter to Jake, too lost in the taste of your lips and tongue against his to care about anything else. He finally had you all for himself, finally had you where he wanted, finally had a taste of you. And he already knew that he was going to get addicted, that he wouldn’t want anyone after you because it was like you were made for him. Eventually, you needed to breathe and had to detach yourself from his lips, Jake chasing yours and letting a quiet whine escape him when you started to grind your hips against his. 
“- Fuck… Do you feel how bad I need you pretty ?”
You nodded, not trusting yourself with making sentences, not when he was holding your gaze and all you could see in his eyes was lust and desire. This look alone made you want to drop on your knees for him right now, and the way he started to pepper your neck with his kisses didn’t help either, taking a hold of his hair and moving faster against him. 
“- I need you too Jake… Need you to use me…
- Don’t say that if you don’t want to get fucked for everyone to see.”
His voice had dropped lower, his hot breath fanning against the skin of your neck where you knew for sure he had already left some hickeys. And he didn’t feel guilty at all. He wanted everyone to know you were his, even if you technically weren’t. Jake knew that if he didn’t leave now, he would never have the strength to do so. 
“- I have to go pretty…
- I know…”
You knew but you kissed him again anyway, hoping that the taste of his lips against yours would linger for as long as possible. When Jake finally had the courage to stop you, he was already ten minutes late for his next class and cock hard as a rock in his pants, but who cared if he got to have you all needy and desperate for him - as if he wasn’t just as needy and desperate for you. 
“- Come over at mine tonight, okay ? I’ll kick Jay out, and I’ll be all yours pretty.
- Okay, text me later ?
- I will.”
Jake pressed one last kiss on your forehead before he started to run for his class, praying that it would be enough for him to calm down and stop thinking about all the things he was going to do to you. 
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Jake was probably more nervous right now than he had ever been in his entire life, and he had had many situations to be anxious about. However, the fact that you were going to come over in less than five minutes made his palms sweat and his heart beat faster. He didn’t really know why he was feeling so panicked, because you obviously showed him on numerous occasions how much you were yearning for him too, there was no way you would stand him. But if he did something wrong ? If it was not what you had expected and you decided that you didn’t want to see him again after that ? 
This last idea in particular was running in his head. Because he didn’t want to have you just for one night, he didn’t want to fuck you and then let you walk away as if he wasn’t crazy over you, as if you didn’t make him feel shy everytime you smiled at him. But the more he was thinking about it, the more his heart ached at the scenario. So he stuck to trying to distract himself on his phone until you arrived. 
He didn’t really do anything in particular, didn’t litter the whole place with rose petals and candles, but everything was cleaned perfectly and he even cooked so you had something to eat if you happened to be hungry. It was strange to be suddenly so anxious about meeting up with you. Because he was not nervous when he texted you all his fantasies about you, he was not nervous when he sent you pics and videos of his dick, he was not even nervous when he made out with you in this corridor later. But now, he could feel his hands shaking as he tried his best to open the door for you without looking like a complete idiot. But how was he supposed to stay calm and collected when you were standing at his door, wearing a little black dress that took his breath away. 
“- Are you going to let me in or not ?”
Jake finally snapped out of his haze hearing your teasing tone, and he had to mentally restrain himself from letting his eyes wander all around your silhouette. And immediately, he forgot all about being anxious, grabbing you by your wrist and pulling you inside, closing the door and pushing you against it quickly. Your whole body felt on fire from his hands on your waist alone. 
“- I’ve waited so long for this, pretty, wanted you since the first day.”
Your own hands came to play with his hair, bringing his face closer to yours, grinning as he tried to focus on your eyes and lips at the same time. 
“- Yeah ? Wanna show me how much ? 
- I’m going to make you feel so good, make you scream my name for all the neighbors to hear.”
You licked your lips, your gaze locking with each other. Slowly, Jake’s face got closer to yours, one of his hands leaving your waist to rest on your cheek, tilting your head up so he could kiss you. He wanted all this to be perfect, wanted to take his time with you, wanted to hold you close to him and satisfy every one of your needs. But as soon as he got another taste of you, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting more, all the teasing from these past months reaching its climax as he devoured you, his tongue passionately dancing with yours. 
You couldn’t hide anymore the effect he had on you, the slightest brush of his thigh against yours having you sighing in his mouth. But you needed more, needed to feel more of him, more of his skin against yours. That was why you let your hands drop from his neck to the hem of his shirt, sliding your fingers underneath the material, finally able to touch the beautiful abs you could only see in pictures and videos. 
Jake’s eyes landed on the hickeys he left earlier, smirking at the fact that your dress didn’t hide them at all. And he made it his mission to cover the other side of your neck as well, his kisses trailing from the corner of your mouth, along your jawline and finally landing on the sensitive skin that he immediately started licking and nipping at. He was used to hearing your little whimpers of pleasure, but it was even more addicting to hear them when he was the one provoking them, even better when he could feel your hands tugging on his hair, even better when he could grip your ass at the same time. 
“- Jake… I need you…
- Mh ? But you have me pretty…”
You could feel his grin against the skin of your neck as he kept sucking on it, his hand slipping underneath your dress to feel your bare skin. He could be as cocky as he wanted, in the end he was getting even more hard just by kneading at the plush flesh of your thighs. And you knew that, and you wouldn’t let his arrogance be. One of your hands came up to grab his jaw, forcing him to look you in the eyes while the other slid down to his crotch, squeezing his hard on enough for Jake to let out a gasp of both surprise and pleasure. 
“- Don’t get so confident baby, you know how good I am at edging you and you don’t want that now, do you ?
- No…”
His voice was barely above a whisper, lips parted, breathing heavily and eyes wide open. You were sometimes getting more assertive in your texts, but to really experience it was different. He loved when you were begging him, but if you wanted him to play in your fantasy and dominate him, you could bet that he would be the best sub ever. 
“- Good boy. Take me to your room.”
That was all Jake needed to carry you through his apartment, managing to get to his bed while kissing you again, and again, and again. He laid you down on his sheets, unaware of how hot you thought he was for being able to do that so effortlessly. You wanted to get on top of him and worship him all night. But for now, you simply watched him discarding his shirt and sweatpants on the floor, biting your lips at the sight.
“- Come here.”
And he did it, caging you in with his arms before going back to kissing you while you let your hands roam around his body, touching up every inch of skin you could reach - his back, his arms, his abs, everything. You needed to have his skin against yours, to really feel him. His own fingers were sliding underneath your dress, caressing your thighs, your ass, your lower back. But all these clothes were getting annoying, he wanted to see you, have your whole body in display for his gaze only. He needed to see in person what you had shown him so many times in pictures and videos. 
“- Can I take these off ?”
You simply nodded, a sigh of relief coming out of your mouth when Jake helped you get rid of everything you were wearing, starting from your jacket that you didn’t even have the time to discard because he immediately jumped on you. Then, he threw away your little boots and your socks, and finally your dress, revealing the black, laced lingerie set you had on. Another smirk played on your lips when you saw shock as well as lust play in his eyes. 
“- You like it ?”
His hands were almost shaking as he put them back on your body, grazing the skin with his fingers slowly. If he liked it ? He could feel his cock twitching at the view alone. You were like a sinful goddess, and you were here for him only, sprawled out on his bed, waiting for him to make you feel good. 
“- Fuck, yes, you’re so hot pretty… Can I touch you ?”
You smiled at him, finding his carefulness even more attractive. As an answer, you took his hands in your own, guiding them to your breast, letting him massage it over your bra as he looked at you like you casted a spell on him. And truth be told, you might have done just that because he soon found himself unable to keep his hands for himself. In the span of a few seconds, Jake had pushed your boobs out of the coffin of your bra, his lips coming down to play with one of your nipples while his fingers were giving attention to the other. 
Your hands quickly came back down to grab his hair, whines leaving your mouth every time his own closed around your nipple. Your mind was already clouded with pleasure and desire, having waited for too long for exactly that to happen, and you didn’t have any patience left : you wanted his cock, and you wanted it now. In one swift movement - and because Jake didn’t expect you to do that - you managed to get him on his back where you were laying seconds before, straddling his lap. Immediately, he found your waist again, his big hands tugging you closer to his cock, where he needed you.
“- If you wanted to be on top, you could’ve just said that, princess.”
You wanted to kiss that stupid, proud grin out of his face, but instead you decided to strip him from his underwear, finally getting to see his cock for real. And it was even more pretty, even more bigger, even more perfect for you. 
“- I just need your cock, I don’t care how, I just need it.”
How eager you were to touch him too had Jake groaning and releasing a moan as soon as you started to stroke his cock. He loved the fact that you simply took what you wanted from him, and he was ready to let you use him in any way you wished if that made you happy. However, all the times he imagined how your hand would feel around his dick couldn’t compare to how it really was, to how good it really was. 
“- Do whatever you want to me.”
You didn’t need to be told twice to lower your head and be at the same level as his cock, sticking out your tongue immediately and coming to lick his flushed tip. The sight was unholy, tempting him to push the rest of his shaft in between your lips right now. Jake couldn’t even recall all the times he closed his eyes and thought about your mouth closing around his dick instead of his hands. And now you were really there, spitting on it and spreading your saliva before taking him in your mouth. 
He couldn’t help but throw his head back, his hands coming down to take a hold of your hair, following the movement of your head. The feeling of having you suck his dick couldn’t compare to anything he had fantasized about before. And if you weren’t so busy trying to fit his big cock in your throat, you would have teased him because he looked so fucked out already and you hadn’t done anything yet. Little by little, you managed to fit all of him down your throat, and the moan he let out at you hollowing your cheeks, making you even more wet if possible. 
“- Fuck ! Your mouth feels so warm, so good…”
Even when you started to bob your head up and down, he didn’t look down at your face, but you wanted his full attention, wanted to see him lose all his composure. Your hands were resting against his thighs, and you started to graze his skin with your nails, effectively getting him to open his eyes and focus on you again. Another moan left his lips just from seeing you like this.
“- Please, don’t stop…”
And you didn’t, feeling his grip on your hair tightening as you took him all the way down once more. If Jake wasn’t trying to not lose his mind over how well you were taking him, he would have loved to wipe the smug expression out of your face. But for now, all he could do was moan and whine and look at you through hooded eyes, loving how much of a mess you were, with a mix of saliva and pre-cum dribbling from the corner of your lips. He couldn’t resist anymore the urge to thrust his cock up in your mouth, closing his eyes again at the feeling of your tight throat around him.
“- Wanna cum in your mouth so bad pretty, can I ? Please, please, let me…”
You hummed in agreement, far too fucked out yourself to do anything else than taking what he was giving to you. At this point, he was simply using you for his own pleasure but you just let him because you loved it, loved how he claimed you by ruining your throat. 
“- Shit Y/N ! Gonna fill you up, yeah ?”
A moan escaped you, the vibration sending Jake over the edge, his hips halting their movement, buried deep inside of your warm mouth and spilling his load right there, your eyes watering as you tried to swallow it all. Jake felt on cloud nine, and he knew that he would not need anyone else for the rest of his life because you were definitely made for him, perfect for him. You got one second to breathe when Jake pulled on your hair, taking you away from his cock and bringing you up to his lips, kissing you deeply and tasting himself on your tongue, loving the nasty mix of both your saliva and his cum. When he finally let you go, you couldn’t help but zeroing again on his red, swollen lips that he was biting while looking intently at you.
“- You did so well for me, pretty, such a good girl.”
His forehead was pressed against yours, cupping your face, thumbs whipping away the tears who had rolled down your cheeks. You felt even more turned on by how thoughtful he was, by his praises, by his sweet gestures despite being so rough with you.
“- Need you Jake…
- Want me to return the favor ?
- Yes, please…”
You felt so desperate for any kind of touch, your body tingling with anticipation as Jake switched position and laid you down on the bed again. He’ll get you to sit on his face another time, when his mind will be clear enough, when he’ll have the patience and self control to make you cum at least two times. He quickly got rid of your bra, even if you looked heavenly in them. But the sight of your naked body was even more appealing. Soon, his hands were all over you again, roaming around your skin and making you shiver. His lips found purchase on your neck again, littering it with more of his kisses and marks. 
“- Don’t tease, please, I want you so bad…”
A single swear escaped Jake’s lips as he helped you out of your panties, bringing them to his nose and making a show out of sniffing them and groaning at the intoxicating scent, allowing you to picture how he looked when he had jerked off with your ruined underwear. Then, he threw them away somewhere in his room, not caring where it landed and grabbing you by your thighs to bring you close to his face, holding them wide open for him. The view of your bare and wet pussy had him getting hard all over again. 
“- Such a pretty cunt baby, bet you taste just as sweet.”
His praises had you shying away from his dark gaze, but you were not able to hold back your little whimpers. Jake chuckled lightly before diving straight into your wet folds, having had enough of teasing you when he was just as desperate to taste you as you were to feel him. The second he licked up your wetness, it was over for him. He could be as cocky as he wanted but not when he felt his cock throbbing only at the taste of your pussy, not when you were invading all his senses as he buried his face between your plush thighs, sucking harshly on your clit. 
Every moan that came out of your lips only spurred him on to continue, to go harder. When he felt you squirming around, he made sure to grip your thighs and keep them in place for him to have better access to your cunt. The way his skillful tongue was taking turns between playing with your clit, licking up your folds and going inside had you losing your mind already, both hands coming down to tug on his hair as if you wanted to keep him there forever. 
“- Fuck ! Jake…”
He opened his eyes again at hearing your cries of his name, diving in your lustful gaze. Your parted lips allowed you to whine out everytime his mouth was on you, your cheeks were dusted pink because of the unbearable heat of your body and your hair was a tangled mess, thanks to Jake’s hands earlier. But to him, you never looked better, an heavenly sight for only him to witness. 
“- Feels good pretty ?”
You nodded along, a quiet whimper echoing through the room at the loss of contact with his wet muscle. 
“- Yes ! Yes, so good…”
Jake knew that, but to hear you say it had a smirk playing on his lips, and you couldn’t even be mad about it because he was looking insanely hot doing it. You could feel the pad of his fingers creeping up the skin between your knees and hips, so slowly it made shivers come alive on your whole body. And when he was almost touching your wet folds, he started all over again with your other leg, this time going as far as debuting at your ankle, and coming up even more lazily. 
“- Please…
- Please what, pretty ?
- You know what I’m talking about !”
Your pouting face was too cute for Jake to not want to tease you more. He loved it when you made him go crazy, loved when you were getting him hard in the most inappropriate situations because you sent him a picture of your boobs. But it was also enjoyable to have you in the palm of his hand, dying for him to touch you. He rested his hands on the insides of your thighs, so close to where you needed him and yet so far away. 
“- Hum, I don’t think so baby, you need to use your words if you want something.”
The grin on his face got even wider when he witnessed the way your hole clenched around nothing at his demanding tone, at his deep, low voice. He suspected that you had a thing for it since you were always biting your lips when he facetimed you early in the morning or late at night with his hoarse voice. 
“- Come on, don’t get shy on me now, you told me a lot more worse before.”
You did. You definitely did with all the filthy texts you exchanged, and all the photos, videos and audios you sent, and your panties which were still sitting in one of his drawers like the ultimate proof of how naughty you were. 
“- Want your fingers…
- Here we go. That wasn't so difficult, princess, was it ?”
You shook your head no as Jake dived back into your cunt, his lips finding their spot back on your clit, while his hand finally reached your wet folds. His touch was as light as a feather, but still enough to tear a noise out of you, still enough to make you crave more. All it took was a slight tug on the strands of hair you were still gripping and suddenly, you could feel one of his fingers entering you slowly, so as to not hurt you. 
“- Good ?”
You nodded energetically, releasing a sigh of relief to have something filling your empty pussy, and you didn’t even need to tell Jake for him to understand that you wanted more, inserting another finger while still playing with your clit with his tongue. And when he started to pump his fingers in and out, you knew that you wouldn’t last long, especially not when he seemed to have figured out exactly how to make you lose your mind. You couldn't stop the noises from coming out of your mouth anymore, pushing Jake's head even closer to your core if that was even possible, grinding on his face as pleasure coursed through your veins and the knot in your stomach snapped. 
Your breath was knocked out of your lungs, and you almost didn't feel his gentle kisses on your inner thighs to help you come down off your high. What you did feel though was him pulling out his fingers and bringing them to your lips. He smiled sweetly at your obedience, watching you through his lashes as you opened your mouth and let him bury them inside, even moaning around his fingers just like you did around his dick.  
“- So good for me, fuck, you're so pretty…”
He wanted to lick off your lips the string of saliva connecting them to his fingers, wanted to make out with you and your pussy for the rest of his life. Silence came back in his room, only broken by your heavy breathings, looking into each other's eyes as if you could read your minds. 
“- You’re gonna fuck me or not ?”
Your teasing smirk and the challenging tone of your voice brought a grin on his face, which widened at the strangled moan you let out when he grabbed your hips and forced you to turn around, getting you on your knees, ass up and pushing your head down his pillow. He was doing with his hands everything he did with his words : ordering you around, telling you how to place the camera so he had the best view of your dripping cunt, not letting you cum before he did. Without letting you have any more time to think, Jake was pushing the tip of his cock between your folds, sliding right in with how wet you were. You couldn’t see him from your position, but you could hear his deep groan as you clenched around him. 
“- All you need is a little bit of dick to shut your big mouth uh ?”
You wanted to protest, to say no, to answer something that would have made him shut up, but all that came out of your lips was a cry of his name as he thrusted all the way in. If he wasn’t holding your hips up, you would’ve collapsed, overwhelmed by the rush of pleasure in your body at feeling so full suddenly. 
“- Yeah, that’s it, just a slut who needs to be fucked.”
As much as Jake wanted to sound composed, his voice was shaking, and the moan that left him just after was really far from composed. The feeling of your tight, warm, velvety walls had him wondering why he waited so long before fucking you because it had to be what heaven felt like. Slowly, he pulled his cock out, only to thrust back inside roughly, the sound of your whimpers mingling with his deep groans. 
“- Fuck ! You’re perfect for my cock, pretty little pussy.”
At this point, you could only whine in his pillow, mumbling on and on about how good he felt, about how you had wanted this for so long. And Jake wanted to be cocky about it, wanted to tease you for being so desperate for his cock, but he wasn’t doing any better, barely resisting the urge of painting your walls white on the spot. You had told him so many times over text and even during your calls how much you wanted him to fuck you raw, how much you needed him to fill you up to the brim, it was the only thing he could think about right now. 
“- You want me to fill you up with my cum ? Is that what you want ?”
You moaned in response, your brain too mushy to think about anything else than the way the tip of his cock was hitting your sweet spot over and over. But that didn’t seem to satisfy him as he pulled on your hair, yanking your head back. Another noise fell out of your lips at his rough actions and you could feel the smirk on his lips when they brushed against your ear while he was talking. 
“- Words pretty.
- Yes, fuck ! I want your cum Jake, want it all, please !”
- Such a good little slut, shit !”
You felt your eyes watering again with the increasing speed of Jake’s thrusts, the rush of pleasure through your body too good to resist anymore. Your orgasm washed over you before you could even register it, leaving you a moaning and incoherent mess in his hold. The feeling of your cunt getting even more tight was enough for Jake to cum too, spilling his load inside of you with a throaty groan. 
You were tired, but still, the tingling sensation in your core was there. You wanted more of his cock, more of his moans, more of his hands on you, more of him. A quiet whine fell from your lips when Jake started kissing your back up and down, his hands caressing your hips to soothe the skin he had marked. And you knew all of this was supposed to be sweet and caring, but all it did was turn you on even more, your cunt squeezing his cock that was still buried inside. You felt some of his cum spilling out and sliding down your thighs, followed closely by a swear from Jake.
“- You’re getting me hard again pretty…”
You turned your head to look at him, cheeks flushed and eyes glossy, lips swollen and red from his kisses, and hair a mess because of his hands. And Jake could swear it was the most divine you’ve ever looked - when he had just ruined you.
“- Let me ride you then. 
- Fuck, yes.”
You chuckled at his eagerness when he pulled out from your leaking cunt, trying not to drool at the sight as he plopped down on his bed, grabbing your thighs and bringing you on his lap. But you couldn’t really make fun of him when you had dreamt about this for just as long. You traced along the marks that already started to blossom on his skin, grinning proudly at your work and loving how sensitive Jake was, taking a deep breath as you took his cock in your hand, brushing the tip against your entrance. 
“- Y/N… Please…”
The way the word came so easily to him paired with his whine of your name convinced you to not make him wait any longer and to sink on his dick instead, both of you moaning at the feeling. It felt so much deeper this way, and you knew only from the photos that he was big, but you were only acknowledging just how much now. 
“- Feels so good Jake, love your big cock…”
He desperately wanted to answer something, wanted to tell you how delicious you were, but you took his breath away when you started rocking your hips back and forth. And suddenly, the only thing he was able to think about was you. His hands were on your waist, but he didn’t have enough consciousness left to even help you bounce up and down, simply staring at you, mesmerized. 
A flood of dirty words was coming out of your mouth, praising him and his dick, telling him how good he felt, how handsome he was. And Jake loved the attention, loved to feel your hands dangerously close to his neck, close enough for him to want your fingers wrapped around his throat, close enough for you to purposely restrict his breathing a little without really choking him. Only the squelching of your mixed juices and the ones of your cries of pleasure could be heard in the room, both of you too fucked out to care about anything else than your release. 
“- Can I cum inside again, pretty, please ? Please, let me…
- Yes, want it so bad !”
Jake closed his eyes as he felt his orgasm approaching, lifting his hips to meet your thrusts. He was only able to do it a few times before his cock twitched, cumming deep inside. He kept you down on his lap until he felt on the verge of passing out. The erotic moans and whimpers he let out triggered your own climax, and everything was even more intense because of the slight overstimulation. You grinned your hips against him a few more times before your arms and legs gave out and you collapsed on top of him, his arms immediately wrapping around your sweaty body. 
You closed your eyes for a moment, and you were almost ready to fall asleep when Jake moved you off of him and stood up. You whined and grabbed him by his wrist, trying to pull him back to the bed with you. 
“- I’m just going to take something to clean us up pretty, I’ll be quick, promise.”
Jake smiled fondly at your pouty lips before kissing them and running to the bathroom to find a towel. He rapidly cleaned your skin, delicately whipping it down and handed you one of his shirts to cover up when he saw you shiver. He discarded the towel on the floor, not having the energy to do anything else than going to sleep with you in his arms right now. He slipped under the covers after having put on some shorts. 
You directly snuggled up to him, hiding your face in his neck and breathing his scent in. And Jake couldn’t help the big smile stretching out his lips when he tightened his hold around your waist and distinctly heard you hum against his skin.
“- Y/N ?”
You lifted your head when he broke the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you, taking in his soft smile, his shiny eyes and his disheveled hairs. Maybe he had looked more put together before, but to you, he was the most beautiful like this. 
“- Will you be my girlfriend ?”
And you couldn’t help but reciprocate his smile and shake your head. Sometimes, he was very silly. Sometimes, he could be considered childish. But he was able to bring back sunshine when your days were filled with gray clouds, and he could make you laugh anytime you felt down. Your hands came up to cup his face, delicately brushing your thumbs against his cheekbones. 
“- You know, you’re very charming Jake Sim, it’s hard to resist you.”
This time, it was him who hid in your neck, holding you even tighter if it was possible. And you giggled heartedly, a sound that Jake would never get sick of hearing. And maybe he had lost your game, but he had won something even more precious. 
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BONUS : 
You picked up your phone when getting out of the store, holding a little plastic bag with everything you needed to cook a delicious breakfast for you and Jake. Speaking of whom, you had a bunch of messages from him, asking where you were, and if you had ran away. Texts saying how sorry he was if he was too pushy last night, that he would let you as much time as you wanted if it was what you needed. And endless apologies, over and over. You only answered with a quick message letting him know that you would be back quickly.
Meanwhile, Jake was really panicking. When he woke up and felt the space beside him empty and that your clothes weren’t littering the floor of his bedroom anymore, all remnants of sleepiness left his body, immediately looking around the apartment to see if you were anywhere. It was stupid, he knew it, if you had left, it was certainly for a good reason, but he couldn’t help asking himself if maybe you had come to the conclusion that you didn’t want to be with him. He sat down on one of the kitchen stools, biting his nails while waiting for you to say something else but you didn’t, and stress took over him again. 
When you pushed the door open, you were only met with Jake's worried look waiting for you in the kitchen. He was only wearing the same pair of gray sweatpants as last night and you couldn’t stop your mind from going back to how good it all felt, but the object of your fantasies stopped your thoughts from going too far.
“- Where were you !? 
- I was at the store down the street, to buy us breakfast.”
You lifted your bag and dropped it on the kitchen counter before making your way over to Jake until you could run your fingers through his hair. The hands of the boy came up to rest on your waist, only noticing now that you were wearing his clothes, his heart beating faster at the view. 
“- Didn’t you see my note ?”
You looked around and saw that it was still where you had left it, immediately showing it to Jake who was getting more and more embarrassed for getting so worked up over something so stupid. 
“- I’m sorry, I just thought that maybe you didn’t mean what you said last night and that you realized that this morning and decided to leave…”
Jake hesitantly looked up at your face to find you smiling fondly at him. You leaned down to place a kiss on his lips, and another one, and another one, until you had peppered his whole face with kisses and made him giggle shyly.
“- You’re an idiot if you think you’re going to get away from me so easily, I’m not letting you go. 
- Good, because I don’t want you to.”
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-> i don't allow any copies, translations or reposts of my post.
-> moon dividers by @samspenandsword
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enha masterlist (fill in this to be added) :
@bbgnyx @hann1bee @iraisswiftie
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livingformintyoongi · 8 months ago
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BTS fic recs
I wanted to do this a while ago, but felt like I hadn't read enough, until I checked my likes and got a shock to the face lol. I wanted to give some recommendations of some fics (and a series) that I quite enjoyed reading, plus leave a small review because I feel like it's very underrated to comment on what you like something (people, comment more, I swear it makes a writer feel so much better than a like). There's the occasional spoiler in the reviews, so I recommend you read it carefully or just skip the comment ^^.
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Dawning by @wintaerbaer JJK
summary: He’s never invited into your world during these late night sessions. You always push him away or ignore him. This is new. warnings: heavy depictions of depression and panic attacks, a brief line where taehyung worries oc is s**cidal. I really loved this fic. For a moment I thought it was some kind of two shot or something, but it only has this one part. Still, I felt the author captured the emotions very well. It felt so realistic that even I was worried when Y/N disappeared lol.
Bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer KTH
summary: Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep. warnings: language, a short harassment scene at the beginning (nothing too intense), explicit content including: unprotected sex (DO NOT), fingering, praise kink, biting, marking, spanking, cum eating (sort of?), big cawk soft dom jk, cowgirl (yeehaw), creampie, cockwarming. This fic made me remember why I love the exes to lovers trope. I loved seeing Jungkook as a tattoo artist, it's like, I don't know, so him, anyway, I loved it. I just found this account yesterday in the wee hours of the morning and I'm already loving it <3.
Cat-astrophe & Cat-enaries by @dumpywrites MYG
Summary: Your pet cat keeps going to your neighbor’s apartment and it’s a problem.  I fell in love with this Yoongi like you have no idea. When I just read the first part I was so eager to keep reading, seriously, I loved it, it deserves so much love.
Two Days by @dumpywrites JJK
Summary: He just wants you to give him two days. He'll take you on a few dates and you'll decided if you actually like him? Or not? I live for Jungkook being simp of the reader, I feel it's so real lol. This fic made me feel so warm inside, it was too cute to read. It's kind of like my comfort fic.
S'more than friends by @borathae MYG
Warnings: subby!Yoongi, switchy!Reader, consumption of beer, so much awkward tension, jealousy, sex in a tent, mutual masturbation, handjob, fingering, making out aye, Yoongi loves her boobs and she loves his butt it’s a win-win, sex while other people are sleeping, public sex, she has a thing for his hands (but what’s new lmao), fluffy post-orgasm talks because I’m soft. I read it a while ago now, but I remember when I did I felt so soft. This Yoongi is just too cute.
Please don't go by @httpjungkookcom JJK
Summary | Jungkook’s never kept anything from you, ever. Not even the time where he tripped and accidentally kicked your dog, or when he fucked the most popular girl in high school and couldn’t make himself cum (poor guy was embarrassed for weeks), or when he accidentally rubbed all of his acceptance letters in your face without realizing. To put it short, Jungkook is an open book to you. So when he suddenly disappears, there’s a lot to question. Even more to question when he finally gets back and won’t tell you anything, going as far to avoid you. You’re on a mission to figure it out, even if it kills you. Index | Jungkook is so smart, but so stupid at the same time. Jungkook is not sly in the slightest. Kind of angst, fighting, arguing, bickering, etc. Criminal activity, it’s a Spider-Man fic. Injuries and mention of blood. College setting and age, reader and Kook share the same major. Some cute fluffy moments in between all of the action. Aunt Yoon is essentially Aunt May in the Marvel story line.  Spiderkook, is more needed to read this fic? It was the first one I read about this au and I was WONDERED. God, you can't imagine how much I loved it. I thought it was so cute the way Jk approached reader being in his suit….
Accidental roommates by @jjkeverlast JJK
summary: moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace. yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate. warnings: second hand embarrassment | jungkook's abs | annoying antics | suppressed feelings | both of them are stubborn and petty (it's gets tiring lmfao) | mentions of past relationships | a lot of time stamps | sexual tension | ft. namjoon 👀 | !constant change of perspective between reader and jungkook. I have a tremendous weakness with dilf, no matter who it is, I just love them. I think this was the first one I read by Jungkook. It was so fun and easy to read that the 14.7k words flew by for me.
Silk & Stones by @taegularities KTH
Summary: “Taehyung was a writer… he was a writer indeed.” Kim Taehyung knows his way around words – they cast a spell on your heart and mind, leave you gasping dangerously fast. Until the mystery behind his persona unveils and his touch, along with his words, becomes a vivid memory. warnings: writer + violinist tae 🥺 who’s a gentleman in the 19th century, brief mention of injuries/a mental institution, misunderstandings, heartbreak, secrets, grief, much poetry (and my attempt at writing a poem, pls spot), much disgoosting fluff, flirting and lots of sexual tension; explicit sexual content: 2 sex(y) scenes, fingering on a boat, choking, teasing, begging, praising, soft dom!tae, big dick!tae, tiddie fondling/sucking, some manhandling, dirty talk, they’re just so cute :((, oral (f. and m. receiving), some masturbation, oc is into neck kisses, some biting, fingering, hair pulling, asking for permission :(, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (it’s the 19th century...), aftercare; there’s quite some angst ok; lmk if i forgot smth !! This was a work of art for me. I felt so immersed in the story, so confused by the time changes and everything surrounding Taehyung, but I loved it, one of the best stories I've read of Taehyung since I joined tumblr.
17 going on 27 by @hansolmates JJK
summary; one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken. genre/warnings; fluff, crack, future enemies to lovers, teenage and adulthood angst, time skips from high school!au to late twenties!au, 13 going on 30!au, all your romantic movie tropes come to life! a really big mess honestly, various movie and music references, mentions of sex, use of alcohol, everyone give jin and jimin a big ol hug, language, a surprise guest from the queen of england. I love adaptations, especially ones that add their own touch, and the writer did it so well. She made me hate Jungkook, and then love him, and then hate him again, in the end I ended up resenting him, I wanted reader to stay with Jin lol, but I still loved it. Definitely my favorite part was having Jimin as a best friend, I loved watching him take on Jungkook in the car. We all need a friend like him.
Hot Bot by @httpjeon JJK/PJM/KTH/JHS
JJK: You order a sex robot online after getting a coupon for half off. however, there’s something strange about yours. PJM: Fear is primal and causes one to make stupid decisions. KTH: Your parents have a gift for you, however, there’s been a mistake. JHS: As a product tester, you have one of the most sought after temporary positions in Hot Bot Inc. This is a series that has smut, I think the name gives it away. It's rather sad that the writer is on hiatus, but he left the gems of his works open to the public. The series is pretty good, I fell in love with Jungkook (and Yoongi kskjdsksjds). Highly recommended.
The proposal by @hansolmates JJK
summary; Jeon’s the editor-in-chief for Big Hit Publishings, a closet romantic with a penchant for antagonizing his assistant on the reg. When his work visa is in the process of being renewed and he takes a trip to Norway, his eligibility to stay in America is on the line. However Jeon Jungkook doesn’t go without a fight, and in order to save his job he offers you a proposal you can't refuse. genre/warnings; the proposal!au, fake marriage au, enemies to friends(!!!), friends to lovers, bouts of flangst, dry humping, slight blood but not too bad, lang, alcohol, poor jjk discovers he has the ability to feel emotion, poor y/n is in the middle as always. I was looking for an adaptation of this movie for so long that when I found this one I almost cried with emotion. I LOVED the movie and the concept it had, and I was so happy to read this fic that captures that very romcom essence that the movie has. I loved it.
Marshmallows and report cards by @untaemedqueen KTH
Warnings: Impreg Kink, Marking, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Birthday Sex, Spitting, Begging, Praise, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Big Dick!Tae, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex, Possessive!Tae, Cock Warming, Creampie. I already confessed, this kind of fics get to me. I remember reading it and melting with the ending. I read it a long time ago, so I can't give a longer opinion, but I do remember that I loved it and came out internally squealing after I finished it.
Orange tulips by @kainks JJK
Summary: You’d remember Jungkook with every life you lived. Only he’d never remember you, never recall how your fates were written in the stars since the beginning of time. Genre: Angst. Fluff. Light Smut. The anxiety and helplessness I felt reading this fic are on another level. This scarred me, I read it once and I was never the same person again. It was wonderful, I felt so many things and I was so nervous during the whole reading that I almost didn't even realize when it was over. It is a very enjoyable fic.
What if I love you too much? by @taleasnewastime
Summary: Jungkook. It’s only a name you learn after your son kicks his ball over the fence. Before that you only knew him as the hot new neighbour who mows his lawn topless. And though you have no intention of getting to know him anymore than that, inevitably you do. You don’t necessarily fall, it’s too slow for that, but you definitely develop feelings you don’t intend to feel. Because you know men like him, and you know that whatever you’re feeling, he’s probably not feeling the same. All the same, however hard you try, you can’t help yourself. Warnings: Single mum, small fights, explicit sexual content, oral (f receiving), safe penetrative sex, reader thinks Jungkook is cheating/playing the field, angst, but also fluff, child gets injured (though not seriously), talks of cuts and a small amount of blood. This fic left me feeling bad, it even made me question some future decisions regarding my relationship with my future partner and the necessary communication that must be had in a relationship from the beginning, especially if there is a child in the middle. It was something I really enjoyed reading, and even though I had my internal dilemmas with Jungkook, the drabbles in the story helped me a lot to let go of my grudge (I swear I have nothing personal with him sksjkajskajsj).
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daylighteclipsed · 2 months ago
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Cloud and Tifa’s dialogue exchanges in Rebirth are banger after banger imo. But one of my absolute favorites is when they’re casually discussing food in the Bodybuilders in a Bind side quest.
I think it’s because it’s an unexpected but delightfully natural conversation? And it goes on for a while? This is a quest about working out, so you’d expect them to talk about workout routines or something. Instead, they end up talking about their food preferences after Tifa muses aloud what she should eat when they’re done. (She’s so real for thinking about food mid-workout btw.) She mentions steak, and Cloud makes a connection to Seventh Heaven’s menu. (This is news to us, as the audience; we never saw the menu in Remake.)
From the get-go, the dialogue communicates a lot without having to outright tell us everything. Tifa is the kind of person who thinks aloud without realizing it. She often plans meals/post-workout meals. She enjoys steak, and she put it on the Seventh Heaven menu, half of which — “the better half” — is (well, was) host to a number of meals she enjoys that Cloud also enjoys, as he laments not eating there more often. Tifa’s proud of her menu and cooking. And Cloud cares about the bar enough to remember the menu. While we’ve seen him express desire to rebuild Seventh Heaven before, this is the first time I really feel like he doesn’t want to rebuild it just to make Tifa happy. He cared about the place too. He misses it too.
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The conversation continues with Tifa asking if Cloud’s a picky eater. Cloud replies that in the military, you eat what you’re fed. “SOLDIERs can’t be choosers.” Tifa mentions that she used to be a really picky eater. Cloud finds this surprising, and she emphasizes that she USED to be picky. “Can’t be choosers in the Slums, either.” Cloud, still curious, asks how Tifa feels about crab. She says that she’s not a fan, and he says that he’s not either.
Circumstances have made food more about survival. Cloud and Tifa are not in a position to choose, but they both still have preferences. I think this is interesting because this side quest comes right after Cloud’s side quest rendezvous with Aerith, where he sounds indifferent to what he eats. He expresses a little curiosity about how the clams/oysters/etc. from the shells they’re collecting might taste. Then Aerith says they could ask a local but she doesn’t think Cloud cares that much, and he just agrees. “I don’t. Food’s food.” And the conversation ends.
Cloud and Tifa talk about food almost this entire side quest lol. Clearly, food is not just food. Both characters have preferences, and they want to know each other’s preferences. There’s a sense of mutual interest and engagement, and a mutual ease of conversation flowing between them. (I think it’s fitting and a little humorous that Cloud brings up crab when they’re in a place like Costa del Sol. Crab is probably on every menu in town lmao He’s probably sick of seeing it.) Anyway, the most obvious takeaway from all this is that Cloud and Tifa have the same taste in food. But we’re not done yet.
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From here, Tifa asks Cloud what the meals SOLDIERs eat taste like. Cloud replies that they’re healthy but not tasty, making a small disgusted “eugh” sound that earns a laugh from Tifa. Obviously, Cloud was never really in SOLDIER, but it’s safe to assume the average grunt also eats what they’re fed, and it doesn’t taste good. Cloud then begins to reminisce about their childhood. In hindsight, he realizes, they had it pretty good growing up. Tifa agrees. With fresh fruits and veggies, “and great chefs eager to use ‘em,” it’s hard to complain.
This isn’t the first time Cloud brings up their childhood in this side quest — he does very briefly at the start when he playfully asks Tifa what little Tifa would think of her adult self’s eagerness to kick some ass. But what’s so interesting is (if you play the game chronologically) I think this side quest is the first time Cloud brings up fond childhood memories without any prompting? He chooses to reflect on the past and steer his conversation with Tifa that way, to how they ate in Nibelheim, and it’s comfortable. It’s easy. A far cry from Tifa’s memory tests at the start of the game.
The past has been so tricky for Cloud and Tifa to navigate. It’s nice to see them reminisce about something so mundane and relatable like home-cooked meals. There’s some sadness in knowing neither of them can have that from their parents again… But there’s also the hope of rebuilding Seventh Heaven down the road. They — and their friends/found family — can always start a garden and enjoy homemade meals together someday, right? (Later in Gongaga, Barret mentions maybe starting a garden with Marlene. I think a shared/family garden when things settle down would be really sweet, but I digress.)
I think the dialogue in this side quest demonstrates the chemistry between Cloud and Tifa and quietly highlights their growing connection/reconnection. It flows so naturally (credit to the VAs for that as well). It really feels like two people hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, like they’re just going for a jog or grabbing a bite to eat or something instead of battling monsters. It paints a picture of what their casual/candid/low stakes dynamic is like, and it tells us more about them as individuals. It’s delightful. I love it.
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seoktized · 2 months ago
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hi everyone!! you might know junhanner/xinyanyan/neogreencurry here on tumblr, but i wanted to let you all know she is a catfish..! i wanna show everyone proof so she doesn’t try and make me seem like i’m in the wrong.
wednesday, i confronted her about the whole thing (with proof) and she kept up this lie which i didn’t believe for a second.
i asked her about a picture she said was her, where if you reverse image searched on pinterest you could find it, but there was an emoji on the girls face. so i zoomed in on the girls face and you could tell it’s been drawn over.
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when confronted about it, this is what she said:
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but yesterday, she sent these ppl on pinterest who uploaded the pictures she sent me of her face and said they stole her pics from xiaohongshu (a chinese pinterest basically)
so, i downloaded the app and did the little reverse image search and i found the original girl and it literally has nothing to do with “xinyan” on the account.
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i had a feeling she’s from romania cause i have a clock in romania on my clock app and she’d send screenshots (most of the time she’d cover the times and say that her clock is broken) when she forgot, the times aligned with the times in romania. she’d say that her phone would reset and change to romanian time because she bought the phone in romania.
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and today i asked her to send me a video of her face, she danced around the subject and only replied to smth small then blocked me.
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she then texted me on instagram and was like “i just have a very traumatic experience from this and something is holding me back from sending it” which confirmed it for me.
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she was banned from the discord server we were in but proceeded to message every person she was “friends” with to try and see what i was saying & threatening to “expose” me by showing things that was said about a mutual friend. most of these conversations were initiated by her and i simply agreed.
i will own up to it, i was a asshole to a friend and i have since apologized to that friend. i’m very irritable person, so, i get annoyed easily and i said things i shouldn’t. i know i’m wrong and i’m not afraid to say that.
she also made a statement “defending herself”, which was just her yelling at me and trying to make me seem like a bad person.
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the ootd pictures she’d send were also from xhs. i found her actual account and she follows the girl mentioned above and the girl who posts the dress pictures.
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today she’s been nonstop dming me on tumblr saying she cannot send a video because she has trauma from such things. she compared it to an someone with an ed having to eat their fear food which seems a bit of a stretch and wrong to say.
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i simply asked for a video to prove she’s real, but she’s stalled the whole time saying “idk what to do in the video” or bringing up the trauma. she called me insane though i have proof that she’s using someone else’s pictures and she won’t even send a video to prove that she’s who she says she is.
i’m just putting this out there for anyone who is friends with her and to tell my side of the story incase she tries to switch it up. thank u for ur time :3
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biancadoes1 · 2 months ago
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Hi. IMO I agree with long theory, anon.
I have never said this specific theory out loud in fear I was projecting my own relationship past into that narrative. However, I have experience in this specific dynamic & thought I could share some examples of why it isn't even close to delulu. If anyone is interested.
I had my best friend fall for me while he was with another woman. It happened accidentally, over time, by us becoming close & working together for 6 years. I denied it all for a long time until someone close to us both called HIM out, point blank. In real life, uncoupling without causing damage to everyone involved is extremely difficult. Maybe N didn't want to be a rebound, but also, maybe L didn't want anyone to think bad about both of them for "breaking up a relationship." Outside influences/opinions can be detrimental to a new relationship, especially when work is involved.
The idea of A, J, or even E being a decoy is extremely plausible (we had a plan to use one, too). Was it screwed up? Absolutely, but... sometimes, to be together, it has to wait to be shown to the outside world & we WEREN'T EVEN FAMOUS. So what did we do? We continued how we always did with friends & we eventually snuck around (once he broke up) to get alone time. As millennials, I wore a chain with his initial, we posted ambiguous songs, lyrics, thirst traps for each other & OMG SOMETIMES WE DIDNT LIKE each other's posts!! 🙄 Business as usual. In the year we worked together after, only ONE person noticed ONE time we flirted more than usual. Otherwise, NO ONE knew. However, if we went on that WT, I can GUARANTEE we would have been just as unhinged. This is where IMO, the body language expert (for those who watched), didn't have a full scope of their entire dynamic.
I will say, the family of it all does make it tricky & I can't speculate on theirs, but to show dynamic for understanding... Mine knew.. my sister had actually mentioned his googly eyes 2 wks before our mutual friend, but she didn't approve. My mom knew & approved. His real mom knew & was semi supportive, but his dad didn't know & wanted him to fix his relationship, which was rough. Taking family into consideration is extremely tricky, especially if there is concern on any side.
The SM postings between them all are also very telling to me, lol.. drama. Love it! & to pretend it doesn't exist is dumb. I won't go into my personal feelings on it all, but it's TELLING. Specifically, the Italy pap pics.
The truth of it all is... REAL relationships are messy AF. The jackolas are too immature to fathom a non fairytale scenario. This is why they make JD out to be so many things he is not & project their rejection onto L. Their lack of life experience is causing them to try & manipulate the narrative like the children they are. I hope they all get some life experience real soon because it's all creepy to watch. I also hope that one day, they grow enough to experience the love & admiration of a gay bestie.
Anywho, I hope yall see these theories are all very plausible for real life. Stop saying it's too delulu, please. It's not.
Thank you, long theory anon for saying all the things I wish I could. Youse the real GOAT & MVP.
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quickstappen · 11 months ago
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track 003: all's fair in love and war
A/N: im finally after my exams, this is somehow AGAIN - twitter heavy, there's this one twitter thread that is so obvoiusly halfassed, please ignore it :))
masterlist | previous next
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liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others
marcilazzaro1 a cheeky lil pitstop in heaven 🤠 see you in singapore
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madi_races what'd you mean pitstop?? i thought LA was the pitstop?
nyoomf1 is that... seb?
mickschumacher 👀
↳ marcilazzaro1 stop acting all mysterious, you were there too
↳ ilpredestinatox sorry what
redclerc is she in Switzerland???
↳ redmilton i mean, it looks like it?
↳ hammertime_1 but why tho
↳ redmilton her and sebastian are friends, it's not like she needs a permission to visit him
forzalec16 girll it's tuesday, aren't you supposed to be IN singapore already??
charles_leclerc still can't believe you didn't take me
↳ marcilazzaro1 yeah, it's not like you have a car to drive this weekend or something 🤔
ferra_ria who is she?? why is everyone so obsessed with her still? i thought she and pierre broke up?
↳ screwderriaf1 we've been obsessed way before she was with pierre. she's actually on ferrari's media team and she's friends with a lot of drivers
↳ shithappens skylar (blondecedes on twitter) actually has a thread on it if you want to learn more, it's her pinned post
↳ ferra_ria thanks! i'll check it out for sure
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marcilazzaro1 posted on her story!
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liked by lance_stroll, estebanocon and others
marcilazzaro1 Singapore, you've been good - p1 and p4 for the team ;) Congratulations on your podium landonorris !
tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lance_stroll, estebanocon, yukitsunoda0511, landonorris
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charlie_sun did yuki take you to the restaurant?
↳ marcilazzaro1 yes! it was really lovely
yukitsunoda0511 we need to do this more often
↳marcilazzaro1 for sure! just name the time and place ;)
quickstappen yuki looks so cute!!
shithappens she's back in the paddock!! mother's back in the paddock
redmilton_ i like this new post aesthetic, very cinematic
↳ redclerc reputation era?? ↳ redmilton_ who knows, maybeeee
landonorris P2 babyy
lewishamilton It's good to see you back
↳ marcilazzaro1 feeling's mutual
barbiegirl i'd just like to know how could pierre fumble so badly, like dude, she's perdect basically
pierrespookie ugh, you're still here? i thought she quit.
nyoomf1 new lance content! hell yeah!
↳ strollingaway i didn't know they were friends??
↳ nyoomf1 same, looks like they started hanging out after her and pierre broke up 🤷 tbf i don't really care, i'm just happy we're getting the content
↳ strollingaway fair.
madi_races can't wait for the media content from this weekend, it's gonna be great i can feel it
↳ darth_nando it's gonna be elite, marci told me herself
carlando333 no carlos mention? 👀
↳ shithappens sorry, are you blind? he's literally in the pictures
↳ barbiegirl she's also not a carlos fan page, official ferrari account already congratulated him
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marcilazzaro1 posted a story!
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"Quali-tea Time with Sarah Scott (Ferrari's secret weapon with Marceline)"
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madi's radio: pt.3 is finally here, sorry for the long wait, 4th is already in the works so hopefully it'll be a shorter wait ;) i actually planned to put more into this part but,,, 30 pics limit.
(also, valentines coming up, i was thinking of doing short sepcials if i have the time, if i do, which drivers would you like to see?)
taglist: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi @woozarts @janeholt3
click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!
DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!
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szkunas · 6 months ago
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KNOCK KNOCK, GUESS WHO! ౨ৎㅤsuguru geto.
synopsis / premise ♱ㅤwhen things in your life go well for a long time, there will undeniably be a problem knocking on your door. this time, the issue is your ex-boyfriend, wanted by the jujutsu society — who is very angry with you, even after he stole your money. || PART ONE (previous)
featuring ♱ㅤsuguru geto (jjk0 / 2017 version) x FEM reader.
warnings ♱ㅤ NSFW ♡︎ ㅤporn with very little plot ! toxic behavior ! suguru (GENOCIDAL man) ! unprotected sex (wrap it up) + unrealistic portraits of sex ! creampie ! reader and gojo are not in a relationship, but mutually interested in each other ! coercion / dub-con (both consent but just to be safe) ! genocide / death mentions (geto) ! stalking and breaking in ! bondage + choking ! spanking ! edging ! obsessed suguru agenda ! delusional suguru (you will see) ! seduction !
honorary mentions (inspirations, please read) ♱ㅤthis ask, by anon! all credits to them, i was not planning a part two, haha. whoever you are, i hope you enjoy it.
author’s note ♱ㅤso, today i was sitting down and thinking “im going to finish that yuta draft and probably start the sukuna draft for the event, since he’s winning the poll”. guess which of these two things I did? exactly. none. so, here is more suguru geto for you. i apologize in advance — i am not good at writing seduction. this is a bit rushed lol. repost because i can't see my post in tags
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THERE IS NOTHING SCARIER than discovering that the person you love most is hiding a dark secret. it could be a lover, a second family, a dark past or a real, rotting present. that’s the feeling you get: everything is rotten. the walls around you and the space are shaped into a molten mist that rots as time passes, as you read the letter that someone slipped under your door.
the highly wanted criminal, suguru geto, was seen in your apartment two weeks ago, as shown in the photos below. we ask for your full and complete cooperation in the investigation, and soon some sorcerers will need to interrogate you. expect their visit at any time and answer the door when the time comes.ㅤ— the higher-ups from jujutsu society.
oh, hell. no. this cannot be happening.
as the procedure says, you burn the letter and get rid of the ashes.
although your situation is absolutely desperate, the secrecy of jujutsu comes before your disastrous love life. you turn to look for your cell phone, and the delay hurts your bones.
it seems like the object disappears when you need it most. when you find the damn phone, you don’t even hesitate. as you type the number that, at this point, your head knows by heart, your hands shake. this cannot be true. they are lying, they are trying to deceive me and defame suguru. but why? why would society need to do this?
of course, mentally, you suppress yourself. and a rational part of your brain — the part that isn’t driven by the love you feel for a man who’s been with you a long time — slowly realizes that this is the truth.
that’s why the disappearances in the middle of the night, the slight disregard for non-sorcerers touching you or him. the preference for privacy and not allowing you to post photos of the two of you together. he doesn’t have social media, he said. it feels very public. what a lie, he was actually a wanted criminal and cult leader.
no one answers the call, and you press the button once again. and again. and again. by the sixth time, you’re not sure if your hands are shaking with fear, disgust, or hate.
your money. your savings, built up after you left the witch life behind. a small guarantee of your future, a future you planned to have with suguru. a future stolen and lost, by the same man who once stole her heart. beautiful black hair and purple eyes really make a girl forget to pay attention to the red flags.
you leave voicemail after voicemail, until the box is full. then, messages. text after text while your fingertips digit furiously. it didn’t take long for you to realize that a response from him would be even worse, so your last messages were simple, direct. do not talk to me anymore. don’t ever appear in front of me again. and don’t you dare involve me in your affairs, you bastard.
pressing the send button through tears was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done in your life. and so, blocking the number seemed like the most sensible solution. it’s not like he would respond, even if you gave the number to the investigators — your exact intention.
so everything went as it should. 39 missed calls, 104 unanswered messages that changed her perspective of him forever, along with a letter that turned to ash, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. your life took a new direction, an unpredictable metamorphosis that made you move to another address after the entire legal process on your part was concluded. you didn’t know, and you had no involvement, as hard as it was to believe. and then the sorcerers left you alone, and this was your second new start to normal life.
lonely and with a betrayed heart, in a new apartment far from your ex. unloading the last box does not bring the relief of releasing a chain, but the pain. the pain of losing something. as if the chain had tied itself to one of your ribs and ripped it away, taking a part of you.
but the tears dry. time passes. the pain diminishes, and the space that takes it in the heart is hatred. you become your priority again, and in time, you rise again only to fall again. one last effort, a call to a certain sorcerer you once knew, satoru gojo. this was his noah’s ark, his last hope before resorting to more desperate methods.
he answered. and since then, a lot has changed.
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it’s been almost ten months since suguru stole your money and trampled on your love and dignity. almost ten months in which you had your heart broken, and you slowly put the pieces back together. now, your latest relationship — it’s not really a relationship.
six weeks ago, you and satoru had sex in your apartment for the first time. since then, he has been very helpful in all aspects of your life and visits you regularly. he takes you on dates and even carried you when his feet got sore from walking. it sounds crazy, feeling so comfortable with someone after just six weeks, but that’s what happens.
gojo is more than an arrogant boy who uses humor in every situation he sees, he has a heart, and a very generous one at that. despite his insistence, the credit card that was entrusted to you is rarely used (and you managed to convince him to change the password, too). his intention was to ask for help, not to become a parasite that will take as much from him as he can. not when he’s a much better person than you expected. a kind of clumsy white knight, in a cute and a bit of a loser way at the same time.
so, of course, the dates have become routine now. cinemas, walks in the park, roller skating, going for ice cream. these experiences stand out in your memories, as sweet as scenes from clichéd romance films. kisses in the rain, desperate hands pushing you into the apartment — maybe this time, you might be able to tease him a little, make him lose it and have you right there, in a dark corner? the idea is exciting, dangerous, and so stupid it makes your heart flutter.
he still owes you a new bed, though. you keep fucking on your couch because you two broke your single bed the last time you did it.
checking yourself in the mirror before a date is, naturally, what everyone does. the red dress that adorns her body is a little short, the kind of thing you see on a seductive movie character. but satoru asked for this tiny — as tiny as the dress, in his words — favor and promised anything you wanted later if you wore that and hung on his arm all night. even when he’s being a pervert, he’s just a guy who’s whipped for you.
the idea makes you take a step back. satoru can’t be in love with you. yeah, okay. he does cute things often. he takes you on dates almost every week. he’s always trying to make you laugh and has already learned most of your quirks, likes and dislikes. he remembers you throughout the day, at random intervals, and buys you things so casually that you had to beg him to stop and not max out his card bill — he just laughed and said it was all cheap anyway. heirs…
but he can’t be in love. it’s all new, recent. perfect, but maybe it’s just hidden by the love fog at the beginning of a relationship. it has already blinded you to bad signals once, and you internally wonder if you are using gojo.
of course, part of you has already thought about it. having sex with your ex’s best friend and solve your financial problems. two birds, one stone. but satoru is everything suguru is not — true. intense and real, without a mask of sweet truth that covered a rotten truth.
honestly, you don’t want to think about it too much right now. this is a conversation that should be between you and satoru, not between you and your intrusive, insecure thoughts. he deserves to know the truth and he deserves to know that you’re just as interested as he is — not on the money, but on him.
a text message makes you smile right after spraying a sweet perfume on your neck. the screen lights up with that contact that has now become your favorite.
toru <3; ㅤ already in the dress? photos or else ill die (seriously)
a small laugh escapes your throat, and you immediately prepare to take a photo. stepping back a little and posing in front of the mirror, you could swear you heard something near your apartment door while simultaneously hearing the soft click of your cell phone.
one pose to show the front, and one for the back, with a soft, evil smile. satoru isn’t your boyfriend, but with his attitude, he could very well be. he looks at you as if you were the only woman in the world, and as if he wanted you forever. it’s beautiful. it’s such a beautiful emotion to see in those blue eyes that you can’t wait for the next time you look.
after texting back, asking what time the movie starts, your eyebrows come together in a frown. omnisity takes over the environment quickly, and you swear your heart stops beating.
this energy— it cannot be.
“hi princess. missed me?”
the whisper in your ear is so sudden that you immediately turn your face to look. a hand grabs your chin and forces your head to turn back to the mirror, and you gasp, immediately struggling.
suguru geto, on the flesh, the greatest traitor to have walked the earth since judas. traitor to the jujutsu society, criminal and mass murderer, and of course — your ex-boyfriend. right behind you, and forcing you to stare at the mirror as his free hand snatches your phone away.
you hit him with your elbow, but he barely moves. humming, as if he is amused. as if you are some game. geto’s hips press forward against yours, and he efficiently traps you between the sink and him.
this cannot be happening.
what suguru doesn’t find amusing, though, is your text messages with satoru. long or short, little flirtations or obvious nudes, these messages are simply something that makes him turn his nose up in disgust. how dare him. how dare satoru take the one thing suguru truly loved that way?
“get off me.” you murmur, your eyes widening. like any sorcerer, you know the basics of defending yourself, but panic runs through your veins like poison. your muscles feel like solid stone, and you can’t stop your breath from hitching when his hand stops cupping your cheek to grab you by the throat.
he’s a criminal who definitely must have had his share of fights. you are a sorceress who has not been in the field for almost ten years. in a real fight? he could drown you in that sink and satoru would only find out hours later.
satoru. the thought makes you immediately ramble.
“don’t you dare lay a hand on me. satoru will—” he squeezes your neck softly, a silent message for you to keep your mouth shut. suguru sighs, annoyed he needs to explain it to you, word by word. he really, really likes you, but he’s not in the mood after all these games.
this small action — squeezing your neck gently — makes you remember old times. old times, not good days. because, although they were good, the memory was effectively corrupted when he left you, almost a year ago.
“satoru will not do a thing. he doesn’t know i’m here, and he won’t know.” a break. “yet.”
your eyebrows shoot up, before your face contorts into confusion. what does he mean, yet? if anyone knows he’s here, he will be executed. why would he risk it, just to see you? is he here to kill you?
the thought brings visible panics into your eyes — the wonderful, pretty eyes you have. the window to your soul. your soul and body, which suguru would like to possess again.
again, what a ridiculous term. he never stopped owning it, in the first place.
maybe if you buy time, satoru will come see what’s taking so long. he will help. you’ll be safe.
but the date is only thirty minutes, and for satoru to come in person, you would have to wait another forty. one hour and ten minutes with your genocidal ex-boyfriend. wow. this must be some kind of twisted lottery of fate, where winning makes you unlucky.
you force your voice to remain calm, composed. he does not deserve the satisfaction of your fear.
“why are you here?”
“oh, look at her.” he mocks, as if you’re not even just there, listening. “asking why i’m here as if she has no idea.”
“i don’t.” you grit your teeth. “this is why people ask, imbecile. they want answers— ugh.” he squeezes your neck again, making you grow quiet until he relaxes.
“darling.” suguru smiles softly, but some veins are popping up on his hand. he is absolutely pissed, using that sweet voice to smooth you. “you know why i’m here. don’t play dumb. you— let satoru touch you.”
his tone is still soft, affectionate as the boyfriend you once called yours. but beneath the sweetness, there is an anger, a possession. like an animal whose territory has been pierced.
“did you think I wouldn’t find out?” he leans in, his hot breath making shivers run down your spine violently. “you underestimate me, my love. i’m a bit offended. coming from you, i expected so much more.”
his hand snakes all over your body, and close as he is, you’re sure he can hear your erratic heartbeat. thump-thump. thump-thump. thump-thump.
like the engine of a machine, accelerated to its limits. if your organs are your gears, you believe you are malfunctioning right now. a poorly functioning machine due to information overload.
it’s a lot to handle. his hands are warm as they gently pull your dress up, groaning. “i barely had to move it away. what, you enjoy dressing like a slut for satoru?”
it seems like your voice only works normally, as it should, when you feel your panties being pulled down, gasping. “suguru, no! you can’t!”
“oh, i can’t? why? c’mon, darling, just the tip.” he throws your phone away — the sound the device makes when it breaks against the wall is blood-curdling. he wraps both his arms around your waist, pressing his hips to yours. “pretty please?”
you grit your teeth. why the hell is this attractive? perhaps it’s because you barely heard geto beg before. but, no. you can’t. satoru, your satoru, he’s waiting for you — instead, you have your freak ex humping slowly against you. no way, is he wearing buddhist attire? like a monk or something. but these thoughts don’t matter. his words take you out of your head.
“i saw everything that day, you know. and a little before, and after that. getting all cozy with satoru, because i’m not here? you offend me, sweetheart. i’m a bit hurt.”
“oh, i’m not hearing this.” you curl your hands into fists, slamming them on his arms. “not after you lied about who you are, stole my damn money, and left! fuck you, geto! fuck. you.”
he smirks against your ear, grabbing your wrists and pulling your arms behind your back. you groaned, and he quickly decided to hit two birds with one stone.
tugging at the clothing strip that holds his robes together, he rips it off and uses it to tie your hands together as you squirm. he gives it a little tug, confirming it’s not too tight, and throws his clothings to the other side of the room.
“i know i haven’t been here.” he pauses, and you can watch him through the mirror as he forces you a bit down. “and i’m sorry. i wanted to tell you, i did. but i couldn’t. i know what you would think, and— i couldn’t lose you.”
it’s like a sincere admission, but you’re not foolish enough to feel sorry. not for him, definitely. throwing salt at the wound is your strategy right now.
“you lost me anyway. y’know, satoru really has a way with backshots that—” your words are cut off by a gasp, when he rips your panties off you and holds you down by the back of your neck. your back does a pretty arch for him like that, but suguru is not nearly amused enough.
“don’t be a brat. i made mistakes, but you, too. whoring yourself for my best friend? are you kidding me, love?”
“i’m not your love, don’t call me that.” he grabs you by the hair, tugging your head back up to look at his eyes through his reflection.
a pause, and suguru decided against what he was going to originally say, softening his grip on you.
“i missed you. i did. can’t i show it to you? just a little, baby, please?” he presses his hips into yours a bit more gently, and you can feel it.
his rock-hard erection, rubbing softly against your warm pussy. it makes you shiver and hum against your will. a part of you misses it. nothing wrong with satoru — he’s a great learner for an inexperienced guy — but geto knows just how to blow your back and be soft at the same time. an art satoru hasn’t mastered yet.
the idea of doing this to that white haired man who is so good to you — it brings tears to your face. how dare you want to say yes? but also, how could you say no when suguru’s head is rubbing deliciously against your entrance?
you close your eyes in defeat, not able to look at yourself.
“be quick. and don’t ever ask me anything again. you get this— and you disappear from my sight. forever.”
a deal with the devil. sacrifice something and gain something. your body for peace.
he chuckles, throwing his head back with a smirk. “oh, you and i both know that’s not happening, sweetheart. i’ll be here, forever.” he slips his hands down your waist, grabbing it gently and pushing his cock in.
the feeling is— exquisite. geto could try all he wanted, search in all the world, but he never could find someone like you. your body is almost poisonous — intoxicating is the right word. he just bottomed out and he’s already mixing his thoughts. that’s the effect you have on him.
suguru’s hips start moving at a restless pace, not giving you time to breathe or a warning. he can’t waste time with words, not now. not after being pulled away from you, his beloved, for ten torturous months. just when he was planning to come back and convince you to join his cult — or just grab you and lock you up, whatever —, he found you riding his best friend. sinking down satoru’s cock and making him cream all inside you.
the idea makes him huff, thrusting harder.
and you, under him? with your wrists tied up? well, you’re a mess. you’ll have to try bondage with satoru later, it’ll surely make his cock explode. your eyes widen, and you babble something — what’s wrong with your head? why are you thinking about satoru, then, suguru, then satoru again?
oh, lord above, maybe both at the same time? it’s a fantasy that makes you blush more than what you’re doing right now.
suguru guides your head up again, holding your neck gently.
“what are you thinking about, love? you keep—” he grunts. “clenching down on me.”
“nothing,” you stammer out. okay, there is something seriously wrong with you for enjoying this so much. a moan escapes you before you can stop it. “nngh— satoru!”
his eyes widen at the same time as yours. if your hands weren’t tied up, you would have brought one up to your mouth. the squeezing on your neck is firm, enough to not cut air circulation, but present. surely. the whisper of your name echoes through the bathroom.
“what did you just say?”
he looms over you, blushed cheeks and vulnerable expressions changing all the time, staring at your dumb little face in the mirror. suguru has a soft frown on his face, his eyes wide in horror, and his lips are slightly parted. but there’s a dark shadow oozing off him, a rage that cannot be contained.
he’s hurt. he’s mad.
you try to justify it quickly, to do damage control. “suguru! i said— i said suguru!”
but it’s a little too late for that, and lies only make it worse. he pins you down harder, his hips moving back at a ruthless pace this time. harder, faster — no mercy or trace of the sweet man who used to make love with you as if you were made of glass.
now, he fucks you as if he hates you, he hates your guts.
your moans and whines are muffled by the obscene sounds escaping where your hips meet. plap plap plap, mixed with a softly, slightly wet whisper of some sort. suguru lets go of your waist and brings his hand up.
you gasp when it hits the back of your thigh in a loud smack!
he forces you to look up, breathless as he murmurs.
“start counting.” he groans, harshly. and he smacks you again, right on the ass. he’s hitting so hard that you believe his intention is leaving a red mark — a present for satoru to look at later. and you’re right. his friend knows no boundaries and keeps taking what is his. what choice does he has, unless to mark you up?
smack.
you shiver, trying to squirm away and kick before he pins you down again.
“behave, brat. now start counting.”
smack.
“one—” you moan when his heat hits your sweet spot, huffing. smack. “two.”
“good girl.” smack. smack. smack. “how many is that, princess, mm? ohh, that’s the good pussy i missed so much. so— tight.”
“ngh! three! four! f—five?”
“is that a question, or are you answering me, my love?”
he chuckles meanly, thrusting into you again. you both grunt — near the edge already.
“suguru.” you throw your head back, whimpering. “i’m— i’m gonna—”
“ohh, you’re going to cum? that fast, honey? satoru hasn’t been good enough to you, i see.” he thrusts harder, laughing meanly at the way your eyes widen and tear up. “aww, he can’t treat you like you want. he fucks you like a good girl, i bet. but you want to be fucked like a slut.”
he leans down, peppering your neck with kisses and hearing your deep breaths. “it’s okay. i’m close, too. you have this effect on me, my love.” he grunts again, grabbing your hips. “throw that ass back on me, baby, yeah? yeah, juuuust like that.”
he grabs your chin, forcing you to look up as he presses his lips to yours in a upside down kiss. it would be romantic if it weren’t so possessive, visceral, crude. carnal. desperate.
when your lips part, he grunts and sighs softly, while you’re moaning loudly. nearly at the same time, your orgasms hit you both with everything.
suguru’s thrusts become messy, sloppy, and his skin feels a bit sticky against yours as he fucks himself using your pussy, pushing in ropes of cum to paint your insides.
you let your head fall forward when it’s your turn, squirming and whimpering softly. his forehead would have hit the sink if he weren’t holding you up. some more seconds, to dry out both of your highs. slowly, gently, he pulls out of you, watching the fat drops oozing out of your used hole.
suguru smirks as he undoes your restraints, kissing the back of your neck tenderly and adjusting your dress.
“don’t forget who has you first, mkay? i left a little gift for you and satoru here.” he sighs, sounding a bit sad. “i’ll have to go again, i’m sorry. but i’ll be back soon. don’t miss me too much. just leave your window unlocked, and i’ll be here again.” he grabs your face to turn it again, brushing his lips against yours. “unlocking them is a chore.”
geto leans back, and you shiver, confused. the sound of clothes being adjusted and thrown back into a body makes you turn your head moments after you heard it, still a bit too slow.
and he is gone. as you fix yourself up on your feet, you shiver as the realization hits you hard as a stone. no, no. satoru. no.
you stumble to the corner of the bathroom, picking up your phone. the screen is broken, but a call icon appears. you accept immediately, nearly sobbing.
“hey, senpai,” the nickname is soft coming from his lips. a small joke, playing with an honorific that he does not use with figures he should use. “you’re— a bit late. did something came up, or?”
“satoru.” you sob, and even through the screen, you can feel him tense up. his voice becomes more serious.
“what happened? are you okay? where are you? i’m on my way.” the scraping of a chair can be heard in the background of the call.
“i’m— my apartment. i have something to tell you. we need to talk, seriously, we—”
you shiver, and for some reason, you can picture your ex perfectly — walking proudly, with his nose up, the wind making his black hair flow behind him and cruel, purple eyes accompanied by a soft smirk.
“i made a mistake.”
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ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISTAKES.ㅤthank you for reading! <3
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baronessvonglitter · 25 days ago
Text
Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 20 🍒
"Baby Loves Me"
Joel Miller x f!Reader
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Word count: 8,823 (she's a big'un)
Summary: A blizzard, a wedding, family secrets, and two people who can't stop thinking about each other. Are these fateful events going to drive you apart for good, or bring you even closer together?
(Warnings contain spoilers beneath the cut)
WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, age gap (reader is 39, Joel is 56), takes place a few days before Christmas 2023, mention of eating food/drinking alcohol, mention of health issues, oral (m & f receiving), Ellie has anger issues, use of guns for recreational shooting, jealous!Joel, mutual pining, reader wears makeup and dresses, unprotected piv, creampie, TW for minor heart attack and hospitalization (everything is okay in the end), getting back together and having a happily ever after. In this universe everyone is alive and happy.
Author's Note: this series was the first story I ever posted on AO3 and then recently here on tumblr. I had no idea so many people would love it, and it's currently my most liked, most commented-on, and most bookmarked work on AO3 ♥️ It feels so good to finally have this complete, but I will write some one-shots about this couple in the future, because part of me really doesn't want to let them go. Much love to those who stuck around and showed their support while I got this story hammered out. I love and appreciate all of you!
Please enjoy this playlist for your listening pleasure, songs that either appear in the series or provided inspiration
Series Masterlist
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It's early when Joel wakes, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed as he puts his hand to his heart, eyes scrunched closed tight as he prepares himself for the increasingly painful palpitations. He grunts in suffering at the agony of the erratic pounding of his heart, body tense until it passes, and he sighs with relief, head in his hands as he runs his fingers through his greying locks.
It's been almost a week now that he's had these pains, happening every day now that Sarah's wedding day is nearing. He gets them on and off but lately stress has been catching up to him and reminding him he's not in his thirties anymore. Hell, he'd give anything just to be in his forties again.
He gets up to get a glass of water, quickly throwing on a shirt before going downstairs. The house is quiet though he can see the electric glow of the television light on underneath yours and Ellie's rooms. He hesitates just outside of your room, putting an ear to the door, hoping to catch some tidbit of your voice, some clue as to what you're doing in there, but it's quiet, just the low volume of something playing on TV.
With a sigh he goes down to the kitchen.
Alone with his thoughts, affected by the presence of you and Ellie under his own roof, he takes stock of his life, of all the moments he failed you when he should have been there for you.
That first night he set foot back in Austin after serving time in the Bexar County jail, wondering if he should call you, he'd gone instead to a bar and met Hailey. He didn't recognize her at first, but she'd come on so strong, and the alcohol ran freely that night, so by the time he'd taken her home and her warm, tight little mouth was wrapped around his cock, it was too late. He didn't expect that that one night would lead to her wanting more, but by then you were gone, tucked back safely away in Houston where he couldn't get his hands on you and where you could (he'd hoped) in time forget about him. You were too much of a good girl with too much potential to waste it on someone like him. Hailey was someone who was always going to be stuck in a small town, so he didn't have to worry he was holding her back. But he soon came to realize that all they had between them was fucking. Not that he'd ever minded it in the past, but after having you, experiencing what real love was like, what Hailey offered felt like a cheap replacement, and he just wasn't that man anymore. He knew Sarah hated her, so when he caught Hailey stealing from him he knew that was the last straw and ended things.
Sad to say he went back to his usual routine from before he met you. Working from sunup to sundown, coming home with new aches in his joints to a meal Sarah had had to cook herself, or pizza that had gone cold. On the weekends he'd be at the bar, either with Tommy or more often alone, and he'd find a woman and wind up at her place. He could never bring them back to his, not in his bed that he shared with you.
Seeing you in New Orleans that summer night had been a shock to his system. He thought he'd managed to get over you just a little, but seeing you, a little older than the last time, looking soft and happy and bright-eyed as you laughed with Tommy.. and that fucking rock on your finger that signaled you were taken. Something primeval in him stirred when he ran into you in that restroom hallway, your lips full and glossy from making out with his brother, jealousy surging through him that you'd be so willing to cheat on your husband-to-be with someone other than himself.. it led him to want you more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life.
Leaving you the next day had been the hardest thing, but he had to remind himself you were going to belong to another. He couldn't get in the way of that, not when he'd only shown his love for you by fucking you in a bar restroom. You were going to marry a military man and have a respectable life, that was what he wanted for you. To have a life with Joel would only make you sordid, ripe for gossip. He was old enough to be your father and you were in fact his his best friend's daughter. He couldn't sully your life with his mistakes.
On a last minute whim he'd come to your wedding, sat at the very back as you were oblivious to him, staring into your husband's eyes as you spoke your vows, each word a piece of jagged glass in his heart. He'd left before you could see him, driving back to Texas at a high rate of speed, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. Why hadn't he just objected? He could have done it, raised his hand and told the entire congregation that you were his god damn it. He would have led you out, carrying you bridal style, ripped your damn dress off you and fucked you senseless.
It was later that Tommy suggested the dating app. Joel wasn't a fan of technology, and in fact still had his old Nokia phone that Sarah was warning him was becoming obsolete and cajoled him into upgrading to a smartphone. Once she and Tommy had helped him with setting up a profile on eHarmony, the requests piled in. Women from all over the state showed their interest. He had his pick of almost anyone. While he went on a few fruitless dates (some of which actually ended up in sex) there were few that actually interested him.
Until Tess. She was so much like him, and more suited to his age. A divorcee, she knew what she wanted in a relationship and stuck by her values. Beneath her tough exterior Joel found she was actually very kindhearted, even sweet. She cared about animals, liked beer, and was a homebody. She'd resisted his charms at first, but eventually neither could give in to the spark they felt. It took some convincing to get her to marry him. She accepted only on the terms that he move to Boston. She'd visited Texas a few times on business, but she wanted to stay in the northeast, and Joel, in love again for the first time in years, acquiesced.
The problem was they were too much alike. Both wanted to lead, and while he was happy to let Tess have the reigns now and then, it became an issue. This led to more arguments, tense discussions over things that shouldn't have mattered. The divorce, when it finally happened, was a blessing in disguise. Joel followed Tommy away from Boston and found comfort here in Wyoming, in a place he could start anew.
Sarah had been none too subtle when she brought you up in conversation. "Did you know she's a teacher?" "She's single now, divorced actually." "She's in California with her daughter."
Every damn day there was a phone call or a text where you were mentioned. And now, with you here under his roof at Sarah's behest, it was apparent that she was trying to get you two back together again.
He knew he needed to speak with you about that comment you uttered, about "our" daughter Ellie. He'd done the math in his head, just to be safe, and had calculated that he could indeed be her dad. But he had to get the honest answer from you.
It'd be easy if you would at least acknowledge his presence.
Your cold shoulder is more like an arctic icy blast. Your refusal to even meet his eye is like an arrow through his heart. He wishes that you would at least glare at him, or say something sarcastic or hurtful, but your silence is the coldest thing, even with the blizzard outside.
He's hopeful during one moment the next morning, as he's going into the hall restroom while you're coming out. Freshly showered, you're wearing a towel around your body, skin glowing, hair combed back and damp. The steam that surrounds you from your hot shower makes you look like a figure from a movie, an ethereal angel come to earth. His breath catches in his throat as you look up at him, your beautiful eyes wide and plush lips parted. Then you resume your coldness, pulling your towel tighter around you as you go to your room. When he steps in he smells the jasmine aroma of your body wash still in the air around him his dick hardens in response.
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Hearing that Sofia has arrived is the one bright spot in your time here.
You meet her at the Tipsy Bison after everyone has helped out shoveling snow off the path. You'd found yourself working next to Joel and said nothing to him, ignoring his silent appeal for you to talk to him.
Now the crew is indulging in some food and beer at the bar while you catch up with your cousin.
"How did you get in? I thought the roads were impassable," you tell her after a big hug and an introduction to her fiancee Ruby. It had come as a surprise to you when she'd told you she was marrying a woman, but Sofia had said she'd only followed her heart and didn't consider herself stuck to any sort of label. Ruby was the perfect person for her and there was no looking back.
"Tommy sent a pilot friend of his to pick us up from the airport when our taxi couldn't make it through the snow," she says, nearly knocked over as Ellie pummels her with a bear hug. "We were helicoptered in, like a couple of VIPs."
It's like old times as you share a booth altogether, different kinds of appetizers in the center of the table as you catch up on things.
"How did you manage to still stay friends with Tommy?" you ask when Ruby and Ellie go to make change for the jukebox. Hearing that Sofia is staying with Tommy and Maria during their visit, you can't help but wonder how other people can so easily put aside the past.
"I think it helped that we were friends before we started dating," she shrugs. "And.. to be honest, our relationship never got that serious. Not like you and Joel," she finishes in a whisper, darting a glance at the elder Miller brother, who's knocking back some beer with Tommy and a few others.
"Why do you ask?" Sofia continues.
"I don't know how to deal with being under the same roof as Joel," you admit. "Everything that he put me through.. I know we're only here for a few days but it feels like an eternity. It's becoming harder to avoid him."
"You should talk to him," she says gently. "You don't have to be best friends or anything, but you're a friend of the bride. You should at least be civil."
You sneak a look over your shoulder at him, just to find he's already staring at you. You quickly turn away.
"Does he know about.." Sofia motions with her head toward Ellie, who's at the jukebox with Ruby.
"No," you respond. "And he doesn't need to know."
"That's not fair to him," she softly scolds you.
"You are the only one I've trusted with this, Sofia. Please do not make me regret telling you."
Sofia is really the only family you have left. You never saw you father after that fateful night when Joel fought him, and your mother disowned Ellie when she came out, causing you to disown your mother in return. Your circle is small but faithful.
She backs off. "All right," she relents. "But what about Ellie? She'll resent you for keeping this a secret this long."
You watch your daughter, who's drifted from the jukebox to one of the pool tables, mindlessly spinning the cue ball upon the soft green surface. She's distracted when she sees another girl across the room, a pretty dark-haired girl around her own age, watching Ellie furtively, as if fascinated.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" Ellie shouts, causing the girl to run away.
"Ellie!" you snap at her, and to your astonishment Joel walks past you to go to her. You freeze, watching their interaction, but all seems to be okay as they talk quietly.
"I don't know what to do for her. I don't know how to help her.. she's so angry, especially since the divorce. And Justin rarely ever sees her. The only thing he's good for is the child support." You swig your beer, itching to go and talk to her, but the stubborn side of you refuses to be closer to Joel than is necessary.
Sofia folds her napkin in sections. "She called me and told me about Riley.. and the little mishap at the mall."
Earlier that year, Ellie and Riley had been picked up by the cops for trespassing in an abandoned mall and vandalizing some stores. It was completely unlike her, and even though you both sought family therapy for all the issues you were going through, it didn't seem to be making much leeway.
"She doesn't seem so angry now," Sofia mentions, and you turn to see Joel and Ellie starting a game of pool. You both watch as she tries to pull off complicated trick shots and Joel just shakes his head in feigned frustration. Once again your gaze lingers too long and you lock eyes, but this time you offer a tiny smile, mouthing 'thanks.'
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"Hey Mom, can I go with Joel and Finn? Joel said I have to ask you."
You look up from where you're steam-cleaning your dress for the rehearsal dinner tonight. "Where are you going?"
"It's near the woods on Joel's property. We're just going for a hike," she shrugs.
"I guess.. just behave yourself, okay?"
She grins, glad to have gotten permission. You follow her down to the foyer where Joel and Finn are getting their hats and gloves on. "Be careful," you tell them, though it's mostly meant for Joel.
"Of course. You're okay with her shootin'?"
"What?!"
Ellie manages to look chagrined. "I didn't think you'd let me go if you knew guns would be involved."
"Well you thought right!"
"I won't let her if you won't allow it," Joel offers.
"Come on!" Ellie groans.
"Just remember that you're on thin ice back home," you tell her without wanting to let on to the others about Ellie's troubled past.
"Somethin' the matter?" Joel asks, eyes darting between you and her.
"Nope," Ellie's all smiles when you hesitate to answer. "Let's get going!"
She and Finn race out the door into the snowy yard just as Joel stops for a brief moment. "I won't let her shoot if you don't want her to," he says solemnly.
The nearness of him, the rich baritone of his voice could easily bring you to your knees. It feels like a chore just to swallow that emotion and consider it dead, a mistake.
"Just be careful," you repeat, a smile flitting on your lips. Heat rises in your face when you see his gaze drop down to your mouth, his tongue peeking out to swipe across his own lips.
"You could come with us."
Your first instinct is to refuse, to keep that wall built between him and yourself. Good fences make good neighbors and brick walls keep people from reliving past trauma.
But damn it's hard to say no when he's here right in front of you, after all this time, and the parts of you that have healed just want to give in, to go into his arms again.
It's not a surprise when you're in the passenger seat of his truck, like old times. And though it's a newer model and the seats have warmers and the upholstery makes the whole car smell like it was just driven off the lot, in a way it still feels like summer 2003.
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Finn's done this before, the apple of his grandfather's eye. Even with the skill of a child, he shoots with ease, knocking down most of the targets Joel had set up on a fence.
When it's Ellie's turn she's eager for the gun, but her practice shots are haphazard: off an old fallen tree, a random snowbank. She huffs in frustration.
"Wide right," Joel tells her. "You're flinchin'."
Ellie shakes her head. "The target's too small."
"I made it bigger than I should've. Eject the cartridge."
You watch your only child move with precision, handling the gun with ease despite being new to this. "I'm not flinching, the rifle just sucks."
You and Finn exchange a look, suppressing your laughter.
"Okay, give it." Joel changes places with Ellie, who quips, "It doesn't aim right, you'll see."
It's hard to tear your eyes from him as he sets up, moving with the ease of someone half his age. "A deep breath in, slow breath out. You squeeze the trigger like you love it," he says, ignoring Ellie's teasing remarks. "Gentle, steady, nice and slow."
"You gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant?" she smirks, and when you laugh out loud Joel shakes his head, pulling off the perfect shot.
After, you rest on the tailgate of the truck while drinking warm beverages from your thermoses. Ellie and Finn gather their energy quickly enough, playing in the snow and chasing each other. It brightens your day to see your daughter smiling.
"I wanna apologize for the other day," Joel says, his eyes flicking to you. "I was outta line. I've apologized to Ellie too. I think she and I are good now."
You nod, somewhat relieved that he'd brought it up first. "I'm sorry too. I guess I get pretty riled up when someone tries to out-parent me."
Joel looks away, towards the mountains that peak their grayness against the clear blue sky. "He been outta the picture long?"
"Who? Justin?" You notice Joel winces at your ex husband's name. "Long enough. He was supposed to spend time with her for Christmas but chose his new wife over his own daughter. She didn't take it very well."
"Fuckin' bastard," he mutters. "Always figured there was a reason for me to not like him."
You give him a strange look. "You didn't know him."
"Didn't need to. He took you away from me. That's reason enough."
"Joel," you say quietly, both a scolding and a scoff. You remember his body against yours that night, the way your sheets bore his scent until the day before Justin came back from out of town and you had to wash away the evidence of your betrayal.
"I'm sorry I didn't go after you. There were a million opportunities and I failed each time."
You say his name again, with softness this time, your hand finding his, his palm almost completely dwarfing yours. You think about his fingers inside you, teasing you for the first time, showing you how to open up to him, and how you ended up giving away your whole heart.
In the moment where you can say the most heartwarming or romantic or even angry thing, what comes out of your mouth is: "You never accepted my friend request."
Joel looks puzzled. "What?"
"My friend request. On Facebook. I tried to add you but you never accepted it, so I canceled it." Cringing at your own words, how needy they sound, you take your hand from his, but he traps it within his own again.
"Darlin', I never look at that stuff. I only got one 'cause everyone else goaded me into it." His eyes look mirthful as he sees your doleful eyes.
"And that's how I found out about Tess.."
"Oh." The mirthful look is gone, replaced by a dark, blank look. The first marriage, the only marriage he ever had, so late in life, ended.
"What was she like?"
"Why do you wanna know?" He looks at the ground, as if the snow is so interesting. "What was that idiot fuckboy husband of yours like?"
You almost laugh, surprised that he's jealous, even after you've moved on from your marriage.
"He wasn't as great as I thought," you shrug. "But that doesn't matter now."
Joel smiles, agreeing. "Tess was.. we were good for awhile but you're right, doesn't matter now."
"Because we both turned out okay.. me and you."
He thinks it over a bit, eventually nodding. "Yeah.." His deep brown eyes meet yours, and you catch a glimmer of the man he was before, twenty years past, a single dad with a teenage girl and an interest in the new girl next door. "I'm sorry.. for everything. We happened so fast that my brain had to catch up with my heart."
You're afraid that if you think about it for too long you'll cry and never stop. "We don't have to talk about that.."
He nods, looking a little sad that you declined. "You're right, we don't."
"Look at you with all this land," you smile, gently teasing him to change the subject. "What are you gonna do with all of it?"
Joel shrugs, looking at his property, thinking again of the possibilities. "I might decide to turn it into a ranch, raise sheep," he shrugs. "They're quiet and do what they're told."
He's quiet another moment, before his voice drops an octave. "I'm really glad you came, babygirl.. it's really good to see you. Don't think I said that before."
A smile graces your lips, a genuine one, and the warmth of his words melts what's left of your defenses. "Joel.. there's something I need to tell you.. about Ellie.." The words are out before you even think.
Your heart pounds, taking residence in your throat as if to keep the truth from spilling out. Joel turns his whole body to you. His eyes search yours, without question or condemnation, as if he's willing you to say it because he already knows, because he just wants it made real.
When the moment passes it's a disappointment to both of you. It's getting later in the afternoon and you still need to get ready for tonight. The kids trudge back to the truck and you get in next to Joel in the front. There's a quietness that fills the space, thick and somewhat desperate.
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The Tipsy Bison has gone through another temporary makeover for the rehearsal dinner: garlands of lights arch across the ceiling from beam to beam, creating a pleasant, dreamy atmosphere. People mill around waiting for the bride and groom who are running a little late. Drinks are served and tables of food boast different kinds of cuisine.
Ellie makes a beeline for the hors d'oevres, immediately picking out what she wants and stuffing it straight into her mouth as if she hasn't seen food in months. Joel watches her from the next table over, trying hard as hell not to call her out too harshly, but as his stomach growls he joins her in the hunt for sustenance.
A tray of pastel-colored macarons catches Ellie's eye and she takes a light green treat with her fingers. "What are these?" She scrutinizes it, taking a quick sniff.
"It's some kinda cookie.. or something.. how the hell should I know?" he grumbles.
"Pistachio," she grunts in disgust, putting it back on the plate.
"Well, now don't put it back, you've already touched it and sniffed it and everything.." Joel quickly pops the discarded macaron into his mouth.
"If you want 'em they're all yours," she says, giving his shoulder a couple heavy claps before moving on down the line of food.
He just shakes his head, looking around for you for the tenth time tonight, finding you with Sarah and her soon-to-be inlaws at the bar. His mouth goes dry at the sight of you in a dark red dress, long-sleeved, cinched at the waist, and he feels a familiar rush of blood to his cock as he eyes the thigh-length slit on one side of the skirt.
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"That color is sensational on you."
You turn to the voice you've just heard, as the group you were talking with disperses.
"Hi," you tell the older, well-dressed man in front of you. "I don't believe we've met." But then it hits you, and just as he introduces himself you realize you already know his name.
"I'm Frank," he says, a Duchenne smile lighting up his features and crinkling the wrinkles around his eyes. He's handsome, and very friendly. And he was friends with Joel during his marriage to Tess.
He introduces you to his husband Bill, who regards you with a certain suspicion and gives a gruff acknowledgement to your hello. "He's like that with everyone," Franks explains in a stage whisper, while rolling his eyes. "He's just a big grump, but I love him."
"I'm a friend of the bride," you tell them after giving your name, and also introducing Ellie, who's arrived next to you with a plate piled high with shrimp, pulled pork sliders, and mini cheesecakes.
"She's a friend of Joel's," Frank tells Bill, as if to clarify.
"Um, yes.. I'm also a friend of his," you agree. Pretending to spot someone across the room, you excuse yourself, giving a subtle motion for Ellie to follow you, but she stays where she is, popping a whole shrimp in her mouth, eyeing the couple.
"There's a story there," Frank says enticingly as he sips his beer.
"What do you mean?" she asks, curious about the gossip.
Bill gives him a look and shakes his head. "She's a kid, she doesn't need your dramatic stories."
"Now I have to know!" Ellie insists.
Frank feigns annoyance. "Oh all right."
He weaves the tale of Joel and his wife Tess: happily married at first, so alike in attitude and hobbies. She thought she knew everything about the man she married, but when Tommy, in a drunken game of poker one night, recalled a certain young woman who Joel knew, a woman who could tie a knot in a cherry stem with her tongue, Joel told his brother, in a similar drunken state, that he remembered her fondly, missed her like crazy, she was the one who got away.
Tess wasn't the type to hound someone for details, but she didn't like there was a part of Joel's past that she didn't know about. Especially if that past was filled with him falling in love with and screwing a college girl. This naturally led to arguments that Tess refused to drop. Joel didn't want to relive that time with you, and insisted it meant nothing since you were well and truly out of his life.
But the damage had been done, and the thorn of jealousy had pierced Tess's heart. You were a stranger to her and still could not be defeated.
Frank recalled with suppressed glee the night Tess had stormed out on a dinner party, ranting at Joel about "not being able to get over a stupid ass teenager" and causing a scene for the others to eat up. It had embarrassed Joel deeply, but when news of Sarah's wedding had become known, Joel couldn't keep it secret from the friends of his ex-wife. He'd come to like them in his own way, especially Bill, with whom he shared a predilection for quiet and keeping to one's self. They hunted and fished like old times and soon enough both he and Frank were invited to the wedding.
"There's a saying that goes," Frank is telling Ellie, "'everyone can see it but them.'"
Ellie glances at you across the room, and then at Joel. You and he trade silent, surreptitious glances at one another, filled with longing. You glance at him and he catches you before you glance away, and vice versa. The signal between your gazes is irrefutable. There's something there, has been all this time. All it needed was a little meddling from Sarah to bring the spark back to life.
For the first time Ellie sees you as something more than her mother. She realizes you had a past, a life before she was born, and a fraction of that life was spent in love with a man she just met a couple days ago.
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"Hey Mom, can you help?"
Hearing Ellie, you immediately shift into Mom Mode, stopping your own get-ready routine to assist her. She's in your doorway, holding out her wrists. She picked out the suit herself, but the cufflinks are something new.
"Did you get these from your dad?"
"Joel let me borrow them for today."
It's finally the day of the wedding, and as the ceremony isn't until the evening, the whole house is a kind of organized chaos from morning through the afternoon. As if your nerves weren't already on fire, Sarah had approached you early that morning (fortunately for her while you were drinking your coffee) and asked if you'd replace one of her bridesmaids who'd come down with a cold overnight and couldn't attend.
You'd reasoned with her that you didn't have a bridesmaid dress, but that was easily solved when it was revealed the bridesmaids were all wearing jewel tones, and the sapphire gown you'd purchased off the rack would do just fine.
You had anticipated being part of a crowd. Now you'd be at the front of the congregation, all eyes on you, especially Joel's.
Shaking yourself from your thoughts, you finish helping Ellie with her cufflinks and let her entertain you with whatever teenage thought is flipping around in her brain while you touch up your makeup.
"I'm supposed to meet with Sarah and the bridal party at the church. You can ride with me or you'll have to find a ride with someone else."
"Joel will take me."
You brush away some stray powder on your cheek. "Are you sure?"
"Maybe he could take both of us. Want me to ask him?"
"No--"
But she's gone before you can stop her.
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You feel Joel's eyes on you as you during the short drive to the church, and you blame the heat you feel coursing through your body on the seat warmer.
"It's a nice thing you're doin' for Sarah, steppin' in at the last minute," he says, eyes finally on the road.
"I can't let down a bride in need," you say somewhat cheerfully. "She'd do the same for me."
"Maybe at your next wedding." Ellie pipes up from the backseat, and Joel's frown is not lost on you.
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The lead-up to the actual ceremony is a blur, as it was at your own wedding fifteen years before. The bridal party clusters around Sarah, who looks radiant, as she promises she isn't nervous. You can sense her agitation in the way her knee bounces as she's seated, one of the bridesmaids doing a last minute touch up to her hair. The air is heavy with excitement, the scent of hair spray and perfume all around you, reminding you that you're flammable.
"Remember this day," you advise her, and she looks up at you with a grateful smile. "It goes by unbelievably fast."
You wonder if you'll ever have this again, the butterflies in your stomach as you wait for the moment when you see your man at the aisle, awaiting you. You were lucky to have it once. Twice would be an anomaly, considering you haven't had a real relationship in so long.
Joel knocks and, granted entrance, the bridesmaids flutter about, getting ready for their entrance into the church. The bride and her father are left alone, no doubt exchanging words of love before he gives her away to her true love.
You had no one to walk down the aisle with when you were a bride, and the memory threatens to cloud your mind as you take your small bouquet of white roses and camellias. "Canon in D" starts, and the line makes its way down the aisle, towards the altar where Theo and his groomsmen wait.
Situated at the altar, the congregation rises as the music changes, and Sarah walks in, arm in arm with Joel.
Your eyes are on him the entire time, and your heart feels to big to fit in your chest. You've never seen Joel in a suit, but this one is perfectly tailored to his broad, strong physique. His hair is perfectly styled, his grey visible through the curls you long to run your fingers through.
When Sarah and Theo exchange vows your gaze unexpectedly meet Joel's and this time neither of you look away. You catch the glimmer of a tear falling down his cheek, which he does not wipe away. The bride and groom's words seem to ring loud and true: a promise of love through hard times and illness; of love that only grows in each others' absence; of love that does not die even after death.
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The reception is held at the Tipsy Bison, and you marvel at how it's managed to disguise itself once more from a saloon to an elegant wedding atmosphere. A lot of money has gone into the week's events, and you know it's all Joel's doing. He's giving away his daughter, sending her off in style, giving her a day she'll remember forever.
You watch Sarah and Joel during their father-daughter dance, a tradition you didn't get to have yourself. "I Loved Her First" by Heartland starts up by the band onstage, and it tugs on your heartstrings to watch them. In the back of your mind you see them, Joel still thirty-six and Sarah still fourteen. By the time Sarah and Theo have their first dance as husband and wife you're already in the ladies' room, splashing cold water on your face so no one can see you've been crying.
Later, the bridesmaids and groomsmen have scattered, dancing or drinking at the bar, mingling. You stay at your seat at the now nearly-empty wedding party table, fingers twirling the stem of your champagne glass.
Mired in your own thoughts, you don't realize Joel has approached, crouching next to you.
"Dance with me?" he asks, his voice nearly a rasp with how nervous he is.
Wordlessly you take his hand, which practically dwarfs your own, as he leads you to the dance floor. You fall into a rhythm as the band starts up "Tennessee Whiskey", swaying softly to the music. His right hand rests on your lower back, gently guiding you. Your heart pounds as you gaze into his eyes. You haven't been this close to him since the night you conceived Ellie, the fateful night that threw a wrench into all your plans.
"It was a beautiful wedding," you lean in close to be heard over the music.
Joel shivers at your proximity, the brush of your lips against his ear, and he pulls you a little closer. "I'm happy you came all this way for it. You didn't have to."
"I wanted to," you affirm, your hand gliding up to his shoulder.
The air is thick with tension, much like in the days you'd first met. You have to turn away or risk your feelings made known to everyone here.
Ellie's at one of the booths with the dark-haired girl from a couple days ago, watching something on her phone. As the girl laughs you see Ellie looking at her with a warmth you haven't known her capable of for anyone else.
"She's going to hate me for having to take her away again.." you tell him. "I haven't seen her this happy in a long time."
He clears his throat. "Maybe now she has a reason to return." He nods towards Ellie and her new friend.
Your limbs stiffen a little in response. You're not yet ready to think about the future, the possibilities it holds. You've barely begun to mend your friendship with Joel.
"Maybe," you relent, quietly, a promise made in the ether.
Joel's silent as the music moves smoothly in the air between you. His grip tightens on your body as he asks, "She's mine, ain't she?"
You snap from your thoughts, your heart in your throat as you stop dancing. "Excuse me?" Your eyes bore into him, daring him to speak the truth for himself.
"The other day you said 'our daughter'.. the timeline's right, I'm not that bad at math," he manages a smile.
"Joel, I.." you shake your head. "It's all too much. I can't think about this right now."
"Just tell me the truth," he says quietly.
"What would it matter if she was?"
"It'd make a whole hell of a difference. Two daughters, two Miller girls. Don't you think somethin' like that would make me happy?"
For a rare moment you let yourself think about the day your mother came to get you, pull you back home to Houston seeped in shame and regret. She'd lied and manipulated facts to get you on her side. You vowed you'd never be like her or put Ellie through that.
"Yes, Joel.." you whisper. "She's yours.."
The joy that shines in his eyes is like nothing you've ever seen before. When his arms wrap around you your lips find his as if twenty years has never passed between you. Right there, in the middle of the dance floor, you're making out like teenagers.
"I want you," he growls.
"Let's get out of here," you agree.
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You're barely through the front door of his home when he presses you to the wall, his mouth hungry for yours. You hadn't thought you'd experience this level of passion again, but time has not diminished it for either of you.
"Joel," you moan as he presses himself to you, the blunt hardness of his erection teasing you. "Fuck me, Joel.."
He groans at your words, body aching with desire as he goes to his knees in front of you, lifting the hem of your dress. He presses messy kisses along your thighs while his hands roam over your hips and ass, his breath hot against your skin as he approaches the spot he most wants to taste again.
"Been too long, darlin'," he murmurs as he pulls your lacy underwear down your legs. "Been too damn long since I had you like this."
You kick your panties off, hooking one leg over his shoulder as he dives in, tongue lapping at your sweet pussy like a thirsty man finally finding water.
He stays there, tongue dancing between your folds and then tickling your clit, tasting you so deeply that you cry out, head falling back, body arched towards him, fingers tangled in his hair. Joel feasts like a man starved, slurping you up, inhaling your scent that surrounds him. There's nothing about you that's changed. You're still so sensitive to his touch, responsive to his lips, tongue, and now fingers pressed deep inside, finding the spot that makes you scream while his lips purse around your throbbing clit.
He doesn't stop after you come. He feasts on you over and over again, making up for lost time, pleading for your forgiveness this way, literally on his knees until you scream his name, convulsing around his fingers, your honey collecting on his large digits. Only when you feel completely boneless does he remove them gently, licking up your syrupy taste.
Joel picks you up, your dress falling back in to place as he carries you bridal style up to his room.
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All roads have led back to him. No matter where you went, no matter who you chose, Joel was always going to be there at the end of the path, your guiding light, even when you thought you hated him and when you thought he would never choose you again.
Even now, his body over yours, he's the missing piece of the puzzle. He teases you with his cock until you beg him to just put it in, to make you whole again. The glorious slide of his flesh into yours causes you both to gasp and your bodies still for a moment, taking in the significance of this act which you've done so many times before.
He's older now, but his vigor is not gone. He fucks you gently at first, then with impatience, as if he's afraid you'll dissolve like a dream in daylight. You'd know the feel of his cock among any other, the smooth outline and the ridges, the way he's molded his perfect shape into you, marked you years ago when you were a virgin, as if leaving his initials inside you. Mine.
You've never had a man to match him, never had someone so in sync with your body. He knows all your buttons, every dip and valley that his hand caresses. He's mapped out your skin like a cartographer, claiming the land in his own name.
You come almost too quickly the first time, before he flips you on top of him, gripping your hips as you ride him. "Love you," you moan as you come close to the edge again, heart and soul flying ahead of you into the bliss you've only really known with him.
Beneath you Joel's eyes go wide when you come, his hips lifting up into you, warmth spilling into your core.
"Babygirl," he whispers, a choked grunt as he turns pale, his skin clammy and sweaty when he loses consciousness.
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As soon as Sarah and Ellie arrive at the hospital you hug them, overcome with worry for Joel's medical emergency.
"How is he?" Sarah asks, still in her wedding dress. Even in the emergency waiting room she's generating a lot of interested looks her way.
"They just took him in a few minutes ago," you tell her, secretly glad she wasn't there to see her dad in such shape. "I think it was a heart attack.."
"Oh my god," she puts her hand over her mouth and sits on the nearest chair, Ellie right next to her, comforting her.
"The party's winding down at the bar," Ellie explains. "Only a few people know-- Theo, Tommy, Maria.."
"We didn't want to worry anyone else," Sarah adds.
You look at her, heart aching. This is supposed to be her special day.. and if something happens to Joel--
Don't think like that.
The three of you sit down, drinking stale coffee from the machine down the hall. Soon Tommy joins you, Theo staying at the house to keep an eye on Finn.
The worst thoughts poke through your brain, teasing you and taunting you. But at last the doctor comes out, a guy even younger than yourself, green scrubs and white coat.
He talks with the family, letting them know the diagnosis. "It was a silent myocardial infarction, basically a mild heart attack," he explains it. "He's going to be fine and he's resting right now."
"A heart attack?" Tommy and Sarah exclaim together.
"At his age it's not uncommon.. he's fifty-six years old," the doctor checks the chart. "Now, we have him on some aspirin and beta-blockers. Tests show he doesn't have enough blockage to necessitate surgery, but he'll need blood pressure medication and to keep a healthier lifestyle."
"Can we see him?" you ask.
"Yes, two at a time, preferably. We want to keep him calm while we're monitoring him." He checks the chart again and looks at you. "You brought him in, correct, ma'am?"
"Yes.. why?"
"What was Mr. Miller doing before he exhibited symptoms of his coronary event?"
"Um.. what?" you pretend not to understand.
"What was he doing before he had his heart attack?"
"Mild heart attack," Tommy emphasizes.
"Well.." you race to think of what to tell him.
"I take it you were celebrating a wedding," the doctor says, seeing Sarah in her dress and the rest of you in tuxes and gowns and whispers a 'Congratulations' to her.
"Yes. Well, we danced.." you answer, and the doctor keeps his eyes on you as if he knows you're lying.
You go up to him, giving a subtle whisper. "We were.. intimate--"
"Sexual relations," he nods, writing it on the chart. "It's important for us to know what was a causing factor in his event. Now, two at a time can visit him."
Tommy and Sarah go first. He gives you a sly wink. "Y'all were fuckin'!" he teases, passing by. Sarah gives you an excited smile, to which you just purse your lips.
It's quiet but for the bag of Lays Ellie has opened, eating the chips slowly. "So you and Joel?"
You nod.
"But not just tonight.. a long time ago, right?"
There's an odd sensation in your stomach, as if the unspoken truth is fluttering around inside, beating its wings as it tries to find a way out. "I guess there's a lot I need to tell you. But only when you're ready."
Ellie seems to steel herself for whatever conversation is on the way, nodding at last, crumpling up the bag and tossing it in the bin. "Ready."
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Seeing Joel in the hospital bed is a sobering visual. Years ago your age gap represented something illicit, scandalous. Now you're reminded that no matter what road you and he take from here, you will most likely outlive Joel Miller.
He's awake when you and Ellie go in. It's obvious he doesn't like being here, but in his current state is not fit to complain.
"Hey," you say softly, going to his side. "How are you feeling?" You caress his cheek with the back of your hand.
Joel's eyes close at your delicate touch, and when he opens them there's a warmth in them that can't be denied. "I've been better, babygirl," he says. "But I'm damn glad you're here."
He glances at Ellie, seated in a chair on his other side. "And how about you, kiddo? You okay?"
"Am I okay?" she says incredulously. "Dude, I'm not the one in a hospital bed." But her face clearly shows relief that Joel's all right. You also see her brain working over everything you've told her (well, the gist of it.. there are some things she doesn't need to know).
"I was so worried," you tell him, your voice soft and warm, all your feelings coming to the forefront. "I thought I was gonna lose you."
Tears appear in Joel's eyes, which he brushes away impatiently. "You ain't losin' me yet, baby. Not for a long time, not if you don't want to."
"Joel.." you whisper. "Do you really want to do this? After everything that's happened.. all the hurt we put each other through.. all the secrets.." you cast a glance at Ellie, who looks more reserved than you've ever seen her before. Sensing this is a moment you want to share alone, she gives a fleeting smile before she leaves, giving Joel a playful mock hit on his shoulder. Still smiling, Joel pats the space beside him in the bed and you snuggle in with him, his body warm.
"Haven't you figured it out yet?" Joel asks softly, eyes imploring you. "You're mine and I'm yours. That's how this thing of ours operates: you belong to me and I belong to you. Despite everything that's happened in the last twenty years, that's been the one constant." His hands grips yours, thumb running over your knuckles. "I don't care if I've got thirty years or thirty days left of my life. I wanna spend the rest of it with you, babygirl."
You search his eyes, seeing nothing there but the truth, laid bare and ready for you to either accept or deny.
He continues, "I don't wanna keep failin' you. I'm too much in love to let you go again." Then he gently lifts your chin, making sure you meet his eyes. "But only if you want me back."
Some would say you're on a precipice in the choice you're about to make, but it's not that difficult to choose. It's simply the separate paths you're on, converging at last. for good.
"You're the only one I've ever wanted," you whisper. It's not a fancy declaration of truth, a bit surprising coming from an English teacher, but it's the only thing Joel needs to hear before he pulls you close for another kiss.
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Joel's released on Christmas Eve, and the two of you don't waste any time.
You and Joel are married in a small, intimate ceremony in the spacious living room of his home. Ellie, Sarah, Theo, Finn, Tommy, Maria, Sofia, Ruby, and even Bill and Frank are in attendance, watching as a judge from town and friend of the Millers officiates.
Joel promises you a nicer wedding when the frost thaws, anywhere you want in the world. You tell him you can't imagine a more perfect place to marry the most perfect man for you.
Your first wedding went by in a blur, but this time around you engrave it upon your heart, make note of every little skip of your heart when you and Joel hold hands, his delicate touch as he places a gorgeous sapphire ring on your hand, the sweetness of his lips when you share your first kiss as husband and wife.
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After Christmas, Sarah and Theo leave for their honeymoon to Maui, and with the weather more agreeable the guests take leave too. Tommy sees to it that you and Joel have your house all to yourselves for your own honeymoon.
You insist on taking it easy with Joel, but he tells you he'd rather die while inside you, his name pouring from your lips the last thing he ever hears. He seems to get a second wind with you, making use of every possible flat surface in the house. You feel better about such activity when he takes his medication, promising to take it faithfully so long as you follow it with a kiss.
One morning after a particularly strenuous night, while drinking coffee in the kitchen and discussing your plans, Ellie returns, calling out to you before she enters.
"You're not doing anything gross in there, are you?"
"No," Joel laughs.
"Yes we are, we're working on making a sibling for you," you smirk over your coffee, glancing at Joel and giving a little shake of your head when his eyes go wide.
"Gross," she mutters, walking in. "Joel, Tommy says everyone's meeting at the Tipsy Bison for lunch later. But he couldn't get through to you on the phone." She makes a playful, pointed look, eyeing the two of you.
She's lukewarm to the idea of calling Joel 'Dad', and there's going to be some legal hoops to go through regarding Justin and his parental claim. But it all seems so small in comparison to the problems that plagued you before. You can get through anything because now you have each other.
You and Joel get ready as Ellie goes back to Tommy's, enjoying spending her time with Finn and getting ready to leave with them instead.
Unable to keep your hands off each other, it takes you twice as long to get dressed, hands going into each other's back pockets, lips finding each other's throats.
There's all the time in the world for it now.
Driving up to the Tipsy Bison, Joel turns on the radio. "Cherry, Cherry" starts to play, and you sing along with Neil Diamond, catching your husband's eye as he smiles and sings along too. The road before you is smooth, mountains standing guard in the distance, staying the same grand height no matter how far along you drive. Joel's hand finds yours, presses a kiss to it before entwining your fingers.
"Babe?"
"Yes, Mrs. Miller?"
You smile. "Let's not go right away. Let's drive around a little, play this song again, just soak in this moment."
"Of course, babygirl. I don't want to share you with the others just yet anyway."
Neil continues on the radio: No, we won't tell a soul where we gone to Girl, we do whatever we want to Ah, I love the way that you do me Cherry, babe, you really get to me
It's come full circle, and it only took two decades to complete. You and Joel in his truck, your song playing, the sun shining through the hazy clouds. You could close your eyes and it'd be 2003 again.
dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑
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pluckyredhead · 7 months ago
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Please ship Orion and Lightray with me, thank you
If you've been reading my Fourth World posting, you might have noticed me mentioning Orion and Lightray's relationship. This is because they're in love and I'm obsessed with them. Please join me in grumpy/sunshine-but-they're-alien-demigods hell, with visual references below.
So Orion, as we know, is the son of Darkseid who was raised on New Genesis but has always felt different and monstrous compared to his peers. Lightray is his best friend, who thinks Orion is just the best thing since sliced bread and says so constantly.
This is literally how we're introduced to them, in New Gods #1:
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Lightray: Don't be sad. Hug time! Orion: Hugs are not for one such as me. But you're still my best friend. Lightray: Please let me enter your chambers. Orion: NO THEY ARE TOO DARK. Lightray: D:
This panel, from #6, sums up their whole dynamic really well:
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Lightray doesn't crave battle the way Orion does but he is determined to stay by his side, while Orion doesn't want Lightray to fight beside him because he thinks Lightray is too good and pure to be tainted by violence.
Zero personal space.
So one of the things about Orion is that his real face is sort of brutish and not traditionally handsome (the eyebrows are WILD), but he uses his Mother Box (like a living pocket computer that loves you) to make himself look more like the people of New Genesis. In #8, he gets into a knock-down, drag-out fight with his half-brother Kalibak that nearly kills them both, and Mother Box can't maintain the illusion (and also his face is, like, pulverized). And then this happens:
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I WEEP. LIGHTRAY LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, ORION.
New Gods was canceled soon after this, but when Kirby returned a decade later, he went all in on the homoerotic devotion. So Orion goes to Apokolips to kill his dad and rescue his mom, and who do you think follows him?
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That second panel makes me laugh so hard. "Here, honey, you forgot your Scooty Puff Jr!"
My favorite thing about this is that Lightray is playing dumb. He shot at Orion earlier and then said something vague about missing on purpose...but he didn't:
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HE REALLY TRIED TO WOUND ORION ENOUGH TO STOP HIS SUICIDE MISSION. And the way he just shuts his eyes and takes Orion's anger because he doesn't care what happens as long as he saves his friend's life...! (Orion doesn't hurt him, they just touch each other a lot.)
Anyway they argue for multiple pages, with Orion insisting that Lightray go home and Lightray insisting that he stay, until finally:
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This is so intensely romantic and also so unintentionally hilarious that I can't stand it. The homoerotic gazing into one another's eyes and then the stupid mutual thumbs up! Whatever is going on with that closeup of Orion in the second panel! I die!
...And you know who else dies? Orion! Or at least he comes very close (it's unclear), but is rescued by a freedom fighter named Himon and nursed back to health by Himon and his daughter Bekka. We get a little romance between Orion and Bekka, but we also get Lightray coming to visit:
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That is some FULL CONTACT wrestling, boys. Orion pinning Lightray to the ground while telling him it's good to see him is so much, but the fourth panel is even mucher. My goodness.
And then things get serious, because they both believe they are going to die in the upcoming battle (they don't), so they bid each other farewell and Lightray leaves, and then:
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Orion yells after Lightray how smart and funny he is and then collapses in despair because his friend is gone. "HOW LIKE A WANDERING STAR HE SEEMS." Oh my god, Orion.
That's it for Kirby, so I'll move on to other writers and artists, but I want to clear that I'm only sharing the most intense scenes between them. There are so many panels, from Kirby and others, of Lightray faithfully following Orion around, joyously welcoming him back to New Genesis, gently teasing him, and talking about how brave and noble he is. And of Orion only smiling for Lightray, going feral when he gets hurt, and telling him he's too good and pretty for battle. And of the two of them touching each other. A lot.
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Literally just two random examples. THEY DO THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME.
The next really big moment comes in New Gods (1995), where the Source (basically God/Heaven) becomes corrupted and Lightray goes evil and Orion has to beat him up to stop him and I will never ever ever recover from these pages:
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"You want the beast? Do you like it?" on its own is...hoo boy, SOMETHING. But it is eclipsed by the tremulous "Maybe...maybe if I can just hold him" and Orion gathering Lightray up in his arms while telling him he loves him. LIKE. THIS IS SO MUCH. (P.S. Lightray's fine don't worry. And yes, he does want the beast.)
Then we get to Orion (PLEASE read this comic) and the biggest smile Orion has ever smolt:
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Look at how happy he is!!! You need to understand that his mother died in his arms ten minutes ago and he's still like "Lightray! Omg hi!!!" (To be fair, his mother was terrible.) Plus bonus unnecessary touching, Lightray's love language being gifts, and Orion giggling and twirling his hair while going "Omg you're so smart."
(Also, when Lightray mentions his "brief but troubling visit" to Apokolips in the second panel, what's not saying is that he put on a silly disguise and went to see a fortuneteller to try to figure out if Orion's mom was lying about Darkseid not being his real dad (she was; again, she was terrible), and when the fortuneteller is like "You DARE come to Apokolips?!" he goes "I would dare anything for my friend!" I know you would, honey. I know you would.)
The next bit requires some explanation. So, as briefly as possible: Orion kills Darkseid (or so he thinks), takes over Apokolips, and tries very hard to change it for the better. He also accidentally gains possession of the Anti-Life Equation, the formula Darkseid is always searching for that eradicates free will, and gradually is driven to use it to FORCE everyone on Apokolips to be good. And Earth. And New Genesis.
Eventually, Orion is seemingly killed, but actually he's been teleported somewhere unfathomably far away, where he realizes what he's done and sinks into suicidal despair. In the midst of this, he manages to both destroy the Anti-Life Equation AND save all of reality (and nearly die in the process), but he still thinks that because he used the Equation, he's irredeemable and doesn't deserve to exist.
So when he's teleported back to Earth and captured by a human who blinds him and rigs him up to a torture device so that he can drain Orion's life force and use it to be eternally youthful, Orion just...lets it happen. Because he thinks he deserves it. For SEVEN MONTHS.
But eventually he's like "Wait...I deserve this, but probably whatever is being done with my energy is not good and I should stop it." He tries to escape but only manages to let out a single scream.
Luckily, Lightray has been searching for him nonstop for those seven months, despite the face that Orion is supposed to be dead. And then we get this:
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To be clear: this is sweet, gentle Lightray absolutely obliterating the men who kept Orion in the torture device.
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Nakey.
Lightray gives Orion the crushed remnants of his wrist cuffs, and Orion does a magical girl transformation about it:
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For everyone playing along at home, that's the second time Orion has canonically told Lightray that he loves him.
Anyway, Orion goes off to get revenge on the guy who did this to him (it's very satisfying, please read Orion), and then he's depressed some more until he has some brotherly bonding time with Scott and finally feels well enough to go back to New Genesis. His last line of dialogue in the series is "For it is late, and the sunrise and friend Lightray await us in the gleaming city of the gods." OKAY!
Tragically, almost every New Gods appearance after this is complete dogshit, although there is a great moment in Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps (a Rebirth series) where they need information from Orion but he's comatose so they bring in a telepath and the only word he can get out of Orion's mind is "Lightray." I'LL BET.
IN CONCLUSION: Orion and Lightray love each other so so much and I believe it is honoring Jack Kirby's legacy to think about them smooching. It's what the King would have wanted!
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gibsongirled · 4 months ago
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i’m obsessed with girl dad!schlatt 🤭 can we have a fic where they’re high school sweethearts (reader with a normal job out of the spotlight) and she joins the podcast for the first time and schlatt introduces her to everyone as his wife as she’s never been in a video/mentioned before
would love their daughter making an appearance—maybe either hearing her on the baby monitor or smth and schlatt goes to take care of her
love your writing 🫶 i can’t wait to read anything new you post
ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU !!
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description: some say that high school sweethearts don't last, you and Schlatt proved them wrong.
a/n: this was such a cute req !! (the title's the same as the song by the moldy peaches :3)
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People have said that high school sweethearts would not make it past high school, and some of them were right. But you and Schlatt were the exception. Hah, suck on that, other ex high school sweethearts.
The two of you met during your sophomore year, having shared the same History class. Schlatt sat in the row behind you and occasionally, the two of you would exchange glances and go on with your day, because high schoolers are awkward like that. You started seeing him more when one of your friends started dating one of his friends, causing you to get to know him through mutual friends.
And eventually, the two of you got closer. A lot closer. You sat on the bleachers at his baseball games, stayed up late with him while he edited his videos, and was his date to prom. That night under the poorly decorated stars in the gym while the DJ played the weirdest tracks you’ve ever heard was one of your core memories. And then the two of you started dating and no one was surprised. You two made it way too obvious how much you liked each other.
When Schlatt started doing Youtube full time, you said that you wanted to be kept out of the spotlight and he agreed with you. He kept his real life and online life separate- only letting the closest friends know that he was dating someone. Of course, those same close friends were invited to the small ‘friends and family only’ wedding you two had a few years later. Another core memory that he has framed and placed on his setup that’s out of view from the camera.
Schlatt went on hiatus when you were pregnant with your daughter. He had scheduled his already made videos to upload at a certain time and was completely offline from the internet after that, being by your side 24/7. The hiatus continued on for a few months after your daughter was born and then the internet started speculating where he disappeared to, because this was far from his usual sparse uploads.
Your late night talks had delved into how to continue streaming without revealing you and the baby. And you decided to fill his viewers in on your existence. He was definitely shocked, but ultimately it’s your decision and that was final.
“Schlatt, who’s with you today?” Ted asked on the latest Chuckle Sandwich episode, waving at you through the camera. “Audio listeners - love you to death - Schlatt has a woman with him.” Of course, Ted knew who you were- having been invited to your small wedding years prior. He was just playing it up for the camera.
You waved back at Ted, smiling as Schlatt grabbed his mic and talked into it. “My wife.”
“Your wife?” Tucker asked incredulously and Schlatt nodded, smiling widely as he pulled you into his side. “My wife! Say hi, toots.”
“Hi, Ted, Tucker.” You beamed, feeling anxiety and excitement mix into one intense feeling. You heard the baby monitor suddenly crackle to life with a loud cry, and you sighed softly, removing your headphones and began to get up when Schlatt stopped you, getting up himself. “I’ll get her. You sit tight, babe.” He whispered to you and made a hand motion to the camera to continue the session without him. You slid the headphones back on, keeping one ear open to listen to what was happening on the monitor.
The three of you continued on making random conversations about all sorts of stuff until Schlatt came back. He kissed you on the top of your head and sat back down beside you.
“How is she?” You asked, looking at him.
“She’s good, just needed a bottle.”
“Ah, okay.”
That small conversation between the two of you was left unedited and Twitter was on fire when the episode came out, because not only was he married, he also had a baby! The two of you were trending for a good while, and you are well loved by his viewers.
You were so glad the two of you gave it a chance back in high school, and you couldn’t think of anyone else to share this life with. Schlatt was your soulmate and you were his.
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junkdyke · 1 year ago
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That Time I Hooked Up With A Tumblr Mutual
Ok. Let me start by saying this is not a callout post, and this should be read as a humorous story, with some takeaway lessons at the end. Please enjoy my story of my weird ass encounter with a Tumblr mutual.
Part 1: The Backstory
Alight so boom. I had just returned home from a trip where I met a different Tumblr mutual. That trip was great but didn't end up going to plan, so long story short, ya girl was horny. I had never really had a one-night-stand or sought out a solely sexual hookup, so I started thinking maybe I could try it out, see how I like it. And through the sheer power of manifestation, that opportunity presented itself.
I was scrolling Tumblr and one of my mutuals posted asking if anyone was in (my area) and wanted to hang out. Mind you, I have never spoken to this mutual before. No DMs, maybe like 1 or 2 comments through tags and that's it. But, most of my moots are far as fuck, so when I saw she was near me I was like oh ayo, I'm free! Why not, I had nothing else going on! So I reply, and she DMs me.
So she introduces herself, we'll call her Chicle for reasons I'll get to later in the story lmao. Anyway, she gushes a little bit, saying she's been too shy to DM me and that I'm a really cool tattoo artist mutual, I say she's cute and seems cool, and she asks if I've ever been to this particular mall. I say I have and if she wants to cruise the mall with me. She says yeah I'd love to cruise the mall and "if I like her vibe, then maybe we can do something more fun." I say I'm down, she gives me her number.
So here is what I'm envisioning. We'll meet up at the mall, walk around and talk, get to know each other, have some laughs, get a snack, it was a Friday so maybe we could go out to like a bar or go dancing, and then maybe after that, possibly make-out or even have sex! I am not opposed to having sex after a first date if I'm really vibing with the person and if we've been talking for a bit before. Girls, this is not what happened.
Part 2: The Meeting
I get ready, and I drive to the mall. I park, we text on where to meetup and I head over to the Gamestop. I see her at the counter, go up and I'm like "are you buying Pokemon cards?" She starts laughing, she says "I didn't want you to see this!" I'm laughing, I told her it's cute, she finishes paying and we walk around. Cute start and thennnn it all starts to go downhill from here.
As we are walking out of the Gamestop, a minute and thirty seconds into meeting this stranger, she wraps her arm, not around my waist...but around my ass. And pulls me close. I'm instantly uncomfortable by how close this gesture is. She starts cooing in my ear about how she's "so glad I'm not a catfish" and "if I like her vibe because she really likes mine". We met not even 5 minutes ago, I have not had time to evaluate any vibes! But anyway! She asks if she wants smoke 🍃 so I agree, and we go outside, right across from where we just were.
I get to take like 1 hit from this pen, she then steps close to me and says "I'm so glad you're real" kisses me and squeezes my ass. I again feel the need to emphasize that at this point, it has still been less than 5 minutes since we've met, and we have exchanged about 10 messages only a couple hours prior. This is a stranger to me. ANYWAY.
We go back inside, she asks if I wanna walk around, I agree. We chat for a short bit of time, before we go to the food court. I wasn't hungry, so she got some food and we sat and talked. I had made some mention about my past and she wanted to know more so I'm like "okay, I'll give you my lore while you eat" so I basically tell Chicle my life story. Afterwards, we go to walk around more and I start trying to ask her questions so I can get to know her more. It becomes very apparent that she is not interested in getting to know each other lmao. I ask what she does for work, and what she's interested in, and she tells me she's interested in getting into (something animation related) and i'm like "oh ayo, that aligns with what I do" and start trying to get more info cause i'm curious, annd I get just the shortest fucking answers. Ok.
She ends up making a comment about how I'm probably more experienced than her, and I'm like "oh really? Well how many people have you been with?" and Chicle asks "are we counting online?" Now, there is nothing necessarily wrong with this...but it does become more clear on just how "online" this person is. Anyway, she has only been with a few people, never had a partner. It becomes very clear as to why she may have never had a partner.
Part 3: Inappropriate Behavior
We are walking around the mall, stopping in a few stores to look at stuff. Chicle is walking next to me and I am still trying to invoke conversation. But Chicle is not interested in conversation, because instead, she is deliberately and blatantly staring directly at my tits. What I mean is, mid-walking, she is at my side, craning her head to the side to make it incredibly clear that that is what she is doing. I straight up ask "are you...staring at my tits?" she confirms as such, and says something about her being a dog. The dog thing will come up again.
Chicle is at different points, holding me, kissing me, and saying various suggestive things. She grabs me and whispers in my ear "do you want to go back to my room" and I nervous laugh and say "uhhh, we'll see!" At another point, she says "you're so small, you want me to manhandle you and throw you around?" and I again nervous laugh. We're like in Hot Topic, and she start trying to makeout with me and grabbing my ass and says "you're making me so hard"(we'll put a pin in that) and I push her away and say "not in public". I can do a little PDA but this is a lot, and at this point I have known her for about 40 minutes, maybe an hour.
Continuing on, as we're walking through this crowded mall, she drapes her arm over my shoulder and starts grabbing my boob and trying to pinch my nipples, which I immediately pull away from and again say "not in public". Chicle again says "do you wanna get out of here and go back to my room" and I'm questioning what exactly she means, because the phrasing is a little weird. "what do you mean 'your room'?" and she says "I have a hotel room" so I'm a little confused cause I thought she lived in the area. She does.
"i got us a room"
Ya'll, this bitch preemptively booked a MOTEL ROOM without even asking me.
At this point, she has asked multiple times and each time I nervous laughed and said "haha maybe, we'll see, ehhh we'll see" To any normal person, my body language was extremely clear that I was uncomfortable. And again this is not a callout post, she is not a bad person, and everything that ultimately happened, I did consent to. But I will not sugarcoat the fact that this behavior was definitely inappropriate harassment, and there was absolutely some pressuring with the continuous asking. But as I mulled it over, there were 2 reasons I ultimately decided to agree and meet her at that motel.
I was craving intimacy
I had never done something like this before so..fuck it, let's do it for the plot.
And so, she gave me the address, we got in our respective cars, and we met at the motel.
Part 4: The Motel
We go to the room, put our stuff down, and I go to use the restroom. I'm thinking "oh shit, this is weird but alright, let's see what happens"
I come out of the restroom, wash my hands, and she comes over and we start kissing. Already it's fucking weird because the way she is kissing me is so goddamn fast, it's like someone inhaling a meal because they think it's gonna run away from them. Now idk about ya'll, but I like a slow, deep kiss. So already it's a mismatch, but whatever. She lifts me onto the sink, despite the weird kissing, it's hot. She has some really minty gum in her mouth, hence the name Chicle. Put a pin in that.
After a bit, we go to the bed, and I keep saying "how did you get me here" because honestly, I'm not fully comfortable, it's just a weird situation for me and I'm surprised I agree to it. But agree to it I did, so we get on the bed, and keep going. Now, even though she does not have much experience, she's not bad! But...I can tell there's certain things she's doing that I've seen. Or rather, read. Whew lad.
As we're getting into it, my clothes are coming off, she's saying "You're my favorite Tumblr mutual. I can't believe this is what my favorite Tumblr mutual is into." I don't even really know what to say to this because quite frankly, mentioning social media in bed in any capacity is kinda fucking cringe. But it just gets worse.
So, she's spitting on my pussy. And I, personally, have a strong aversion to spit. It's something that I tell anyone that is a potential sexual partner, but it this case, we obviously did not have a prior talk about our sexual boundaries. In this case, I'm like "okay whatever as long as it's just there" but I quickly say "hey uh, just please don't do that in my mouth or i'll throw up" lmao. She's like "Oh okay sorry sorry". But then at some point, without warning she smacks the FUCK out of my pussy, and I'm so taken aback I immediately say "UH DON'T DO THAT" and she again apologizes and says
"Oh sorry, you know I had to try that one. Like that Tumblr post, you know the one."
Ya'll, everything this bitch is doing, she is referencing posts from Tumblr. She is referencing the sexy fantasy butch/femme text posts from Tumblr and she is referencing them out loud. In the middle of real life sex.
She goes on to reference more posts, and the worst part is I know exactly the one's she's talking about. "Mutuals to lezz out with" etc etc, it's so fucking cringe, and she tells me about how she started wearing more of a certain article of clothing after I reblogged a picture of her in it and how embarrassed she is to admit that (I thought that was kinda cute actually) anyway
She's still going way too fast with like all her movements, I tell her to slow down and relax and I think at this point I mention how she did not have to do all that PDA shit from before. She says "well you know, on my Tumblr I do say I'm a dog" and then uh, she starts barking. 💀 literally starts going "woof, woof" and I tell her to s t o p. Jesus fucking christ.
Anyway, after mentioning Tumblr and calling me her favorite Tumblr mutual way too many fucking times, I'm on top of her. Mind you, this whole time, I'm kinda in and out dissociating, just due to how not fully comfortable I am with this. But ya know, I'm still going for it. Her shirts off, she has really cute boobs, and then I notice a really fucking huge bulge in her pants. And I fully dissociate. Not gonna lie, I started feeling really panicky, because straight up, I was not prepared for this. Physically, I'm still touching her, but my mind is fully disconnected, and I'm thinking "oh fuck. When she said 'you're making me so hard' was she being literal? I don't know if I'm comfortable with this. Should I tell her I want to stop? But I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Should I just take it? Well no, I don't really want to...maybe I'll just say 'hey is it cool if I don't touch it?' I mean, she's cute so ehhhhh let's just see what happens!" SO. We continue on.
We flip and she's now on top of me. She references another fucking Tumblr post, and says "do you wanna suck on this lesbian cock?", unzips her pants and pulls out...this MASSIVE transparent strap on. And I'm like oh, it was fake LMAO. Then I say "...yeah, so that's not going in me"
She ends up taking it off, I don't even know how the fuck she hid it in her jeans that entire time, and we continue on. Around this point, I'm starting to feel pretty spent, she did some other things like opening up my pussy to stare at it and describe the color, whatever, I'm kinda done and I just wanna cuddle. So we cuddle for a bit and again, it's physically nice but it's just so weird because she is SUCH a stranger to me that I can't get fully comfortable. She starts trying to start up again and I'm just not really in the mood anymore. She keeps playing with my nipples and typically whenever I'm touched in a way I'm not digging, I'll just take their hand and move it away as a silent but pretty clear way to indicate "no". But uh, I had to do that like 4 times with her before I verbally say "hey, please stop" and her response is "why" 💀 like wdym "why" bitch, cause i said so. I'm kinda surprised by this response so I start to say "Uhhhh, it's...kinda specific" and she goes "oh okay, sorry sorry".
So, honestly, I kinda just wanna go home but I don't wanna be mean and just take off. But there's also no way in hell I'm sleeping over in this motel room. So, I suggest we go out and maybe go to a club or something and she's like "uh, no. I don't like going out" 💀 like damn, maybe you should spend less time on FUCKING TUMBLR AND TRY GOING OUT IRL but whatever, instead we just go get food and bring it back to the room.
Part 5: What Could Have Been
We got some burgers, and she wants to open the Pokemon cards. We do, that's fun and cute, and she asks if I wanna keep some of the stickers that came in one of the packs.
Then she tells me that she had went to the library and checked out a book on tattoos since "she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and thought we could flip through it together." And I genuinely think this is such a cute fucking gesture, I think it's really sweet, and it frustrates the fuck out of me because of what this could have been.
I told her that she did not have to do all the PDA, it was a lot and it was excessive. She is not apologetic about it, and says that the reason she was like that was because "she needed me to know what her intentions were and that this was not just a 'friendly' meeting." so I reiterate that she did not have to do ALL OF THAT just for me to know that. And she just insists that in the past, girls have treated her like just a "bestie" so she needed to get her point across. Now call me old fashioned, but you could have just verbally fucking communicated "hey, i'm really attracted to you" and I would have caught the fucking drift. But okay!!
She asks me if I have any knives because I guess femmes tend to have a knife collection. I say no. And she fucking pulls out this huge ass lethal switchblade thing and is like "this is mine!" and i'm like oh god, this is it, I'm gonna fucking die in this motel room. But she doesn't kill me, she just shows me the cool knife and then puts it away. I have known this person for like 4 hours.
So, we flip through the book, and it's funny and cute, but she keeps trying to kiss me and instigate, and i'm just not interested, I just wanna flip through the book and go the fuck home. And that's pretty much what happens, we finish, I'm like "aight, ima head out" but
before i do
we end up making out again and then I think she was helping me put my shoes on?? she's on her knees in front of me and...she asks me to spit in her mouth. Once again, I have a major aversion to spit and i really, truly, do not want to spit in her mouth. But she says please...so I do like a half assed spit and hope it's good enough. She asks me to try again....so I get an accumulation and spit in her mouth, and she swallows it and i am so so sad about it 😭 and I finish getting my shit and I go the FUCK HOME.
Now here is what frustrates me about all this. Physically? This girl is extremely my type. I like the way she dresses, she has really nice arms, she has a cute face, she's really fucking attractive. She's interested in getting into the animation industry, which I'm currently also working on getting into as well. We could have talked about that and really had a cool discussion on what kind of projects she wants to do and what style she works in. She likes video games, we could have talked more about what games we like. She got this tattoo book because she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and I think that's really fucking cute. There's so many non-sexual aspects that could have made this a real fucking date where I got to know this person, and feel comfortable, and then we could have had really great sex because straight up, the girl was good. She may have learned it from Tumblr, and some of it was weird, but for the most part? She was damn good, especially for only having limited experience. This could have turned into something real! But NO. Chicle, instead, wanted to grope my tits in front of families an hour into meeting me, and made no effort to really let me get to know her in any capacity whatsoever! And it's not like she wanted this to be just a one-night-stand, because she had told me she was looking for a gf and asked me what I was looking for!
It just could have been so much better than this weird ass situation. And after the fact, she texted me and I answered a couple times, but when the following morning she said something to the effect of "it felt so good having you on my lap" I just never answered. Because prior to this, there was absolutely no established relationship, friendship or otherwise. And I could not see anything moving forward, because we couldn't backtrack into the aforementioned "could have been". I considered communicating how I didn't actually feel super comfortable with how things went, but I ultimately just decided to not reply. Shitty on my part, but again, there was no prior anything. And we just never spoke again, we remained mutuals, and so I never talked about this because uh, obviously she would see it. But since she blocked me, heyho now you all get the story!
Part 6: Epilogue
Now, the reason I decided to call her Chicle (Spanish for Gum)
So, while the nice minty gum was a nice gesture, her spitting that gum juice all over my vagina resulted in me getting a yeast infection💀 No more hookups.
So what lessons did we learn!
It's important to talk about sexual boundaries before having sex with someone!
Internet fantasy is not real life! Don't just do shit because you read about it in a fucking internet post or saw it in porn! (Especially when that person doesn't even make those kinds of posts, i don't reblog most of those for a reason)
Don't chew gum before going down on someone
Communication overall is really important for setting up any foundation, even if it is just a one-night hookup!
(yes this is ok the RB cause I spent forever writing this and I do genuinely think it's a very funny story. Sometimes ya just gotta do things for the plot so you get a good story out of it. No regrets, and my pussy is all healed up lmao)
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cioud-berries · 16 days ago
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Mutual Benefit || Chapter 6
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I struggled so hard with this one because the next one is the one i want to really write. Anyways next week is finals week so hopefully I will be writing more once its winter break!! 
Summery:
Posts season 2: Spoiler warning!!
Being forced into an arranged marriage, [Name] tried her hardest with her unreceptive husband Salo. After his death, she was forced to replace his council position, trying to figure out who she was as a person. Sevika never expected to get anywhere close to the council, let alone join them. As the stigma around people from Zaun still stood, she struggled to gain the respect from her new fellow councillors. With so many differences how could the two really help one another?
Chapter Warnings:
Season 2 Spoilers, alcohol involvement.
Word count: 2,560
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        Handing her passport to the enforcer, Sevika watched [Name] and Sasha make their way onto the airship. The guard gave her a nasty look as he handed her passport back. Sevika brushed by with a roll of her eyes.
        Once she was on the ship, she walked up to [Name] and Sasha. Sasha was jumping up and down, extremely excited that Sevika was going to be joining them. “I can’t wait for you to meet Agalea!” Sasha happily told Sevika.
        Sevika gave [Name] a questioning look, as Sasha had not explained who Agalea was. “My niece.” [Name] clarified.
        Sevika nodded in response, leaning against the airship as it began to take off. “What should I know about your family?”
        “My eldest brother Maxwell is the heir to the throne. I think you’d like him. But he can be a real pain sometimes.” [Name] explained with a small smile. “My father will like anyone, so never worry about him. My mother…” She paused, trying to find an explanation for her and what Sevika should expect. “My mother is very protective over her family. So just watch your eyes.”
        “What’s that supposed to mean?” Sevika cocked her eyebrow with a slight smirk.
        “Don’t even pretend like you don’t know how you look at me.” [Name] jokingly glared at her. “I think she might actually banish you if she catches you.”
        “Fine. I’ll only admire you in private.” Sevika jokingly scoffed. 
        The mood slightly changed as [Name] deeply exhaled. “But the biggest unspoken rule of my family is: Never mention my dead siblings.” 
        Sevika nodded, her head. A look of sadness just barely broke through. Wanting to change subjects, Sevika asked, “What’s your eldest brother like?”
        “Oh Gods.” [Name] huffed, rolling her eyes. “He’s a brother.”
        “I wouldn’t know.” Sevika replied, now really wanting to know about this mysterious brother of hers. “I had no siblings.”
        “He’s both one of the most amazing and worst men I’ve ever met.” [Name] explained. “We’re very close after everything we went through. He’s really fun. But at other times I just want to-” [Name] looked down at her daughter that was looking out into the ocean. She could only whisper her next words, “Kill him.”
        “Sounds about how most sibling relationships are.” Sevika responded.
        “I genuinely don’t understand how he not only found a wife.” [Name] sighed in frustration. “Sometimes he literally wakes me up in the middle of the night to ask if I would want to go drinking with him.”
        “He sounds like my kind of fun.”
        “We’ll most likely go to the bar tonight. You’re welcome to join.” [Name] invited. 
        Sevika scoffed with a small smirk. “Do you know who you’re talking to?” [Name] only smiled in response.
        The airship continued on and after many hours they arrived at the port. Sasha was jumping up and down at the terminal. She could already see her cousin Agalea waiting for her. [Name] had to hold Sasha’s hand, making sure she doesn’t trip and possibly fall off the side of the boarding dock. 
        “Welcome to Sembyr.” [Name] told Sevika, before turning her attention to the people waiting to welcome them.
        The second they reached solid ground, [Name] let go of Sasha, letting her run to her cousin, hugging her. Next to Agalea was an [Name]’s father. He had a large smile on his face, but he waited beside the two children.
        [Name] sped up her pace, hugging her father once he came at arm length. “It’s been too long.” He mumbled.
        Chuckling, [Name] pulled away. “It’s only been a few months.”
        “I know.” He smiled at his daughter. “But you know I worry about you. Especially after Salo’s death.”
        [Name] grimaces at the mention of him. “I’m doing much better without him.”
        “I know. I just meant that you’re now raising Sasha all alone. And now you’re a councilor on top of that.” He expressed his worries.
        “Dad, really, I’m fine.” She tried to extinguish his worries, knowing he never would be able to. Wanting to get over the topic of her dead husband, she turned to other things. Stepping aside, she allowed Sevika to join the conversation. “This is Sevika, she is one of my fellow councilors.” 
        “Ah right.” He said to himself, forgetting that [Name] was bringing. “It’s nice to finally meet you! [Name] has told us quite a bit about you.”
        “She has?” Sevika asked with a cocky grin. 
        [Name] was more than embarrassed, but she could only hide it with a confident smile. Her father continued, making it even worse. “Oh yes! I am very thankful for your help with all that council stuff. She’s also told us about-”
        [Name] was quick to cut her father off. “Where’s mom and Max? I was expecting them to be meeting us.”
        “Oh right.” He exclaimed, forgetting to explain that. “They’re in a meeting. So I just thought that I would bring Agalea with me.”
        “Maybe we should start heading over?” [Name] asked, just wanting to get home.
        [Name] and her father talked as they walked their way to the castle in the distance. Sevika stayed quiet, only talking when talked to. She could immediately tell that this was a new [Name]. The real [Name]. One that didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than herself. 
        While the adults were talking, Sasha and Agalea were telling each other what fun things had happened in the past few months. It then turned into who had been having the most fun and had the better story.
        “Well I made a cool new friend.” Sasha crossed her arms. “And she’s been teaching me self defence.”
        Agaela looked shocked. “My dad won't even allow me to touch a sword.”
        “That’s her.” Sasha whispered, pointing at Sevika. “Under her cloak is a mechanical arm.”
        “She looks so cool.” Agalea looked admiringly at Sevika. “I wanna see her metal arm!”
        “She only shows it to me.” Sasha huffed, wanting to be special.
        “No fair!” Agalea whined.
        Sevika had overheard the whole conversation. Looking over her shoulder to look at the two girls. They immediately noticed that they were caught. Agalea got bashful, looking away from Sevika; While Sasha only gave her a bright smile. 
        Sevika chuckled, putting her attention back on [Name]’s conversation. Agalea and Sasha immediately went back to discussing Sevika, trying to be quieter, but they weren’t at all.
        They arrived at the castle gates. Sevika was stunned at just how big the building was. It was bigger than the council building, and that was an office building, but this is a home. She knew [Name] was rich, but this kind of wealth was incomprehensible.
        The doors to the castle opened, revealing an older woman and a man that couldn’t be much older than [Name]. [Name] left her fathers side, running up and hugging the woman first, and then went to the man. Sevika could only assume that it was [Name]’s mother and brother.
        She walked up to the group that was exchanging warm words. The man, who was known as Maxwell. He gave Sevika a wide smile, walking up and reaching his left hand out to shake hers. 
        “You must be Sevika.” He greeted, waiting for her to shake his hand. 
        She only glared down at his hand. To shake it, she would have to reveal the weapon that hung off her shoulder, and she could possibly chop his hand off. “I am.” Is the only way that she responded. 
        [Name] walked up to them, leaving her mom to bombard Sasha with kisses to her face. “She doesn’t have a left hand idiot.” She told her brother while rolling her eyes. 
        Maxwell made a shocked face as he switched what hand he used to shake. Sevika then grasped his hand, shaking it briefly. “[Name] has told me that you’re new to the council. How are you liking it?” 
        “It’s been frustrating working with such idiots.” Sevika didn’t like how chummy he was being, after just meeting, thinking that he had other motivations. Sevika clarified what she meant. “All except [Name].”
        [Name] gave a small smile at the exclusion. “The situation in Piltover reminded me of what we had gone through.” [Name] explained to Maxwell. “Since you too quickly rose to power, I thought you could bond over it.”
        Sevika huffed, rolling her eyes. She didn’t see how they could have anything in common with her.
        “These are all discussions that should be held over a mug of beer.” Maxwell whined, preferring to be drunk. He had a slight issue, whether he knew it or not. 
        “That’s what tonight is for.” [Name] smiled, knowing that they would like one another once they shared a beer together.
        The mention of them getting drunk together piqued Sevika’s interest. [Name] told her that she had to be on her best behavior around her family, but she knew that with a little alcohol in her system, her eyes would most definitely wonder.
        Maxwell was called away by a guard, as next in line he was always busy. It left [Name] and Sevika alone, as [Name] showed Sevika to her room. “I know you just met all of them, but how do you like them?” [Name] asked, her family meant a lot to her and Sevika was becoming an important person in her life, so she wanted to make sure that they were getting along.
        “I haven’t talked to them enough.” Sevika flatly responded. “I didn’t get to talk to your mom.”
        “Yeah.” [Name] huffed. “She does that the second she gets her hands on Sasha.”
        “Her liking of me seemed to double.” Sevika told, talking about Agalea’s newfound admiration.
        “They’re very close.” [Name] explained. “They tend to start liking the same things.”
        “I can tell.” Sevika let the smallest smirk get through.
        “Don’t worry though, Sasha spends most of her time here with my sister in law or mother.” [Name] told. She stopped in front of a door. The one that would be Sevika's room. She chewed at the corner of her lip. “So that means that we can finally have some alone time.”
        [Name] batted her eyelashes at Sevika, giving a cunning smirk. Sevika took it as a sign to go in for a kiss, leaning into her. But she was met with nothing as [Name] backed up. “But you need to settle in first.” 
        Sevika’s face contorted in frustration. [Name] was edging her, making her wait for it. She couldn’t understand why [Name] wouldn’t allow her to just drag her into the room and show her how she really feels.
        [Name] was slowly backing up more. “My  room is right next door.” She informed, but ‘right next door’ was almost halfway down the hallway. “So just knock if you need anything.”
        Sevika watched ask [Name] turned away, there was a bit of sway in her hips as she made her way to her room. Sevika opened the door to the room she would be staying in. She was met with a room that was bigger than her whole apartment.
        She spent hours, lounging around the room, trying to find something to do other than nothing. As the sun began to descend, there was a knock on the door. When she opened the door, [Name] stood there in completely different clothes, ones that closer matched the style of Sembyr. Sevika didn’t mind at all as it revealed more of her body than any of her old clothes ever could.
        “We’re about to leave for the bar.” [Name] told Sevika. “If you still want to join, of course.”
        “This is all I’ve been waiting for.” Sevika added, walking past [Name] into the hall.
        They quietly made their way down to the foyer, where Max stood with another man. They were conversing but when they saw [Name] and Sevika out of the corner of their eye, they stopped, turning their attention to them. 
        “This is my friend Orionn.” [Name] introduced. “He is also currently one of the king's guards.” 
        Orionn awkwardly waved as Sekiva nodded to acknowledge him. They walked out of the castle, heading towards the gate. Orionn and Maxwell walked in the front, going back to their conversation. [Name] and Sevika walked behind them by a few steps, not talking. 
        “How are you liking Sembyr?” [Name] asked.
        “I haven’t seen much.” Sevika said, as she was in the room for the past few hours.
        [Name] nodded her head. “Well you’ll see the heart of Sembyr soon!”
        “A bar is the heart of Sembyr?” Sevika asked with a cocked eyebrow.
        “Yep!” [Name] smiled. “It didn’t use to be. It was the headquarters for the revolution. When we won, it became one of the biggest hotspots in the city.”
        “So your family were revolutionaries?” Sevika asked, still not getting the whole story still. 
        [Name] nodded “My mother became the head of the revolution. When we won she ascended to the throne.”
        “And the revolutionaries were okay with another monarchy after the last one oppressed them?” Sevika asked.
        “Yeah.” [Name] awkwardly answered, seeming a bit unsure of the reasoning. “My mother was royalty. She was supposed to be heir but knew she would just be controlled by everyone around her so she ran away. The revolutionaries convinced her to join the cause. And the rest is history.”
        Sevika’s brows furrowed, still confused at why people would act in such a way, yet it was exactly what happened with her. They wanted independence but instead Sevika joined them. The closer they got to the bar, the more crowded it got. Many people watched the group, as it wasn’t every day you got to see the royals out and about. 
        The bar was not what Sevika thought it would be. She was expecting some fancy uptight bar, but it looked like any normal one. When they entered, it was packed, having to squeeze past people to get through.
        To make sure they didn’t get separated as they walked to the back, [Name] grabbed Sevika’s hand. Sevika was shocked at the sudden physical contact as [Name] pulled her along. Maxwell and Orionn got lost in the crowd, so it was just now [Name] and Sevika.
        Once they made it up to the bar [Name] let go of Sevika’s hand. They were at the very edge of the bar, as [Name] waved down one of  the bartenders. They both ordered drinks, staying in their spot as they waited.
        “I didn’t think it would be this packed.” [Name] admitted.
        “The last drop has never been like this.” Sevika added. 
        Once they got their drinks [Name] they silently stood while drinking. Feeling looser, [Name] began to sway to the music. Sevika smirked at her as she quickly finished her drink. Before she could order another, [Name] placed hers down, grabbing Sevika’s hand again. 
        Leading Sevika to the dance floor, she began to dance. Due to the amount of people around, they were basically pressed up against one another. “Come on? Don’t you want to dance?”
        “I don’t.” Sevika deadpanned, standing still as [Name] continued to sway to the music.
        “Awe come on now.” [Name] pouted, grabbing her arm, and used it to spin herself. 
        Sevika’s cold stare softened as [Name] enjoyed herself, staring into Sevika’s eyes, drawing her in. She huffed, slowly swaying back and forth. [Name] could only smile, happy to have someone join her.
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cuppajj · 3 months ago
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I’m gonna close the askbox soon for the time being, I’m getting a little overwhelmed and there have been some recent instances that have made me feel a little uncomfortable. Vent below but fair warning I get a little critical
TL;DR: you are not entitled to my askbox responses, please do not talk at me in tumblr dms, I am not your friend, please don’t come to me seeking personal validation and please do not be parasocial with me
This may sound extreme to some of you, but I want you to know that even though my askbox is open for people to ask me questions about crk and baau, there is no guarantee that I will answer them. I am not obligated to answer everyone’s ask because at the end of the day it’s down to my comfort level and if I feel like answering a specific ask at all, and for some asks I haven’t felt like I can gain much mutual substance from it. I can hear some people out but I don’t want this blog to turn into a place where you can say anything and be guaranteed a response like this is a DM. I get overwhelmed pretty easily if I feel like I’m being talked at and not talked to. I have had instances where a single person will send me a DM or ask everytime moment I mention something they like, but saying nothing in that ask that I can make an answer to. I highly discourage this behavior for my askbox specifically, as I grow generally uncomfortable because I feel like I’m being talked at. And feeling like im being talked at and not talked to is a huge ick of mine spurred by real life experiences.
And no I am highly unlikely to post privately because I barely use that feature, and then it just goes back to feeling like a DM which I don’t want. I don’t want to open up cans of worms with my askbox. I don’t want people to flood my inbox with X reader requests simply because I answered one ask related to it, I don’t want people to flood my inbox talking about themselves and their lives because I answered a few asks related to it. I don’t want to set any more impressions than I already have, also why i have stopped answering asks like them.
I also just want to say that, to avoid fostering parasocial relationships, I hardly know most of you people, and most of you aren’t my mutuals and friends. I appreciate your support and friendliness but I have a fine line between friend and follower. I don’t make friends through DM spam where someone who i barely know and haven’t interacted with talks about themself to me. I also am not here as an approval machine to validate people’s opinions or thoughts. I feel like some people have been growing parasocial with me which is deeply unsettling. Please do not DM me with random things unless we’ve previously interacted as tumblr and especially discord friends. I only accept questions asking for help, comments about specific things related to me, and general notices about things I should be aware of, like someone stealing my art. Please don’t expect long and/or consistent conversations with me if we are not mutuals and especially if we are not friends. And please do not be someone I barely know coming to me seeking personal validation from me.
I should also add that mutual in this instance means mutual follower, not mutual friend. I see mutual on the same definition as an acquaintance in most instances. I consider us friends if both of us are calling each other friends.
So this means do not send me pictures of you or your pets. I will see it but I am very likely not going to answer.
For BAAU specific questions, I have also had people ask me about why I haven’t answered them and it goes back to A). Their questions may have already been answered previously and B, most importantly,) I don’t answer asks I don’t feel like answering. This latter point is v important to me because the last thing I want is for people to feel entitled to know certain things about my AU. I am, for the most part, a one person team working on this, and I decide what’s known and what’s not. If I feel like something isn’t worth answering for whatever reason I feel, I will not answer it. I’m saying this now to—hopefully—lessen the chance of people expecting responses from me.
Edit: However i can also not answer an ask simply because I am waiting for a good time to respond. Whether that be with a drawing or, for baau specifically, when I am ready to share lore pertaining to it.
Edit 2: I know I can respond quickly at times but the speed of my responses should not be treated as a constant, nor indicative of my interest or engagement as a whole.
Again i greatly appreciate how much support I get, and how many people are interested in my AU and what I have to say, but i want to keep the barrier between myself, my friends, and everyone else. I hope this humbles some of you and I hope you can still enjoy my blog and au as they are, but I want to say here and now that I am someone with their own comfort levels, expectations, and thoughts. I still encourage people to send in asks but I want to set the expectation that I am more likely to answer questions/comments about my au or art, and other asks where I feel like a mutual part of the discussion. But even still I can get rid of asks if I feel like they aren’t needed.
Most of you are cool people who im glad to see in my notes, comment sections, and inboxes, but I also respect people who have some consideration for myself as well. Not everyone knows what and what doesn’t make me uncomfortable which is why I’m saying this now. I hope that everyone here continues to be aware and respectful, and most importantly, patient and understanding.
If you read all of this, thank you.
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goldenseresinretriever · 5 months ago
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False Confidence: Chapter 9
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Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader
Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe
Summary: The Athletic named Javy Machado the fifth sluttiest player in the NHL last year. He’s a known playboy who leaves every game with a different girl. As far as he’s concerned he’s living the dream, playing his dream job with the dream lifestyle. Unfortunately his friends and bosses don’t agree. At 33, they think it’s time for him to settle down. You’re a kindergarten teacher at an esteemed private school. You don't expect much when you finally accept your colleague’s invitation to attend her husband’s hockey game but when you accidentally get separated in the post-game rush, you find yourself in a compromising situation with the last person you’d ever expected to meet. When his PR rep suggests a mutually beneficial agreement, your hands are tied. How long will you have to keep up the act? And how long will you be able to?
Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, brief mention of sex, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: a little something something going into the weekend 🩵
Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter
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When you reach Javy’s apartment, he pulls into a spot right next to the sports car that you recognize from your first date. When he gets out, he doesn’t head for the door to the lobby, instead leading the way around the sports car to another vehicle. You frown in confusion as you look at what seems to be a game of “one of these things is not like the others.” The Prius parked on the other side of Javy’s sportscar looks old, almost as old as your car, but it’s definitely been a while since it’s seen any action. It’s clean as a whistle despite its age and looks ridiculous surrounded by Javy’s two other cars and the other various luxury vehicles that populate this garage. “Here she is,” Javy announces proudly as he runs an affectionate hand over the roof of the car.
“You’re kidding…” you can’t help yourself. “This is your car?” You ask, arching a skeptical eyebrow as you approach the car.
He chuckles, “She is indeed, though it’s been quite a while since she’s seen any real use. I drive her around every now and then to make sure she still runs, but as you can see, she’s had her day.”
“So why do you keep it?” You ask and he smiles ruefully.
“I could tell you it’s a reminder to never forget where I came from, but honestly? I can’t bear to give her up. My uncle got it for me when I moved to Arizona for college. My mom kept insisting that I wouldn’t need a car and that it was an unnecessary expense, but he wouldn’t listen. He told me he’d been saving money for years for it, and it was the last thing he ever gave me. He wanted to make sure that I’d have everything I needed to chase my dreams and never look back.” You surprise yourself when you reach out for his hand and slide your fingers into his. He gives you a soft smile in response. “I’ll grab you the keys and she’s all yours.” Your breath catches in your chest as you remember why you’re here in the first place and you shake your head.
“Javy I can’t, it clearly means a lot to you, I couldn’t drive her.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand gently.
“Yes, you can. I hate seeing her just sit here and not get used. I’d be honored to have you take care of her.” You purse your lips in a thin line as you consider Javy’s offer. “I’m not going to force you to take her, but then we’re getting back and the car and going to a dealership. As much as I’d love to drive you everywhere, unfortunately, my schedule doesn’t really allow for that.” Your cheeks heat at his words.
“Javy…” you whisper and he smiles.
“I mean it, Meep, I want you to have her. I know you’ll take good care of her. And I’ll add you to the insurance so you don’t have to worry about that.” You feel the emotions of the day catching up with you and tears well up in your eyes.
“Thank you, Javy. I mean it, thank you so much.” You hate the way your voice sounds like you’re blubbering but Javy just chuckles and pulls you into a hug.
“You’re welcome, Beautiful. That’s what friends are for.”
***
You’ve severely underestimated what it means to be friends with Javy Machado. Your phone buzzes for the seemingly thousandth time and Nat gives you a knowing look from where she’s sitting on a couch in the fitting room. “Starting to regret getting back with him yet?” She asks as you come over and open the message and you roll your eyes at the picture of Javy force-feeding Bradley a slice of pizza along with a message asking how things are going with you. Things are going well. You and Nat are finally going for the shopping date that Javy promised you. Zam wanted to come but she’s been particularly swamped this week. You’re extremely grateful to Nat for coming along and so far she’s been nothing but supportive as you pick out some new dresses. She doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone and has even managed to pull a few suggestions that suit your taste perfectly. The dresses are modest yet classy and you smile at your reflection in the full-length mirror as you consider how to reply to Javy’s text after sharing the image with Nat.
“You should send him a picture of that dress,” Nat suggests and you look from the mirror to her and she gives you a knowing smile. The dress is a simple yet elegant style that falls to your mid-calf made of gorgeous emerald velvet. The modest neckline and love sleeves make you feel comfortable and even pretty. You love the way the dressing room light reflects off the fabric as you swish the skirt idly. You glance back at the mirror and when you turn back to Nat she’s holding up your phone.
“Nat!” You exclaim as you realize she’s taking a photo. She grabs your wrist and drags you over to sit next to her on the couch as she sends the photos to Javy. You’d had a mind to complain about the lack of warning but when you see the photos, you’re grateful to Nat. The candid shots mean that you’re relaxed and natural-looking. The two of you watch as little hearts appear on each of the photos before Javy replies. You’re expecting all kinds of possible responses, but the message you get back in response is simple.
“Buy it.” Nat cackles as she hugs you and you feel your cheeks flush. Then your phone rings and Nat gives you a knowing look before she stands up and collects the dresses you’d placed in the no pile and walks out of the fitting room to give you some privacy as you answer the call. “Hey Beautiful,” Javy greets and you feel your cheeks heat.
“Hi Javy,” You whisper as you fiddle with the slippery fabric.
“I absolutely love that dress, Meep. It suits you perfectly.” You murmur your thanks, embarrassed at his straightforward compliments. “Do you like it?” He asks after a beat and you start, surprised that he’d ask that. Your eyes go again to the mirror and you feel the corners of your lips raise slowly.
“I do, I really do.” You admit and you can practically hear Javy’s smile.
“Perfect. Then make sure you get it. I think I have the perfect occasion for you to wear it to this weekend.”
“What kind of occasion?” You ask, eyebrows pinching together in worry. You and Javy haven’t gone on any dates since reinstating your fake relationship. You’d be attending the Dogfighters’ game tonight but other than that, Javy hasn’t mentioned any other plans.
“It’s a surprise, but I promise you’ll like it so don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Just show up looking beautiful as always.” You pout slightly at Javy’s insistence on giving you as little information as possible but the nagging voice in the back of your mind begs to you trust him. Javy wouldn’t pick something that would make you uncomfortable. He’s literally paying for today’s shopping trip to ensure that you don’t.
“Okay,” you acquiesce and you can hear the grin in his voice.
“Great, I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you tonight, okay?” You confirm that you’ll be at the game tonight before you hang up. Nat comes back in not long after that with a few more options and the two of you get to work.
***
“It’s really that simple?” You ask as you adjust the sleeves of the jersey that are currently falling past your hands. Josie nods as she looks you over.
“I mean you could do more, but it’s honestly more comfy to go simple.” That’s rich coming from her you think as you gape at the pointed heels of the knee-high boots she's wearing over her jeans. She’s dressed in a replica of Reuben’s jersey, opting for the men’s fit rather than the women’s style that would definitely hug her curves a lot better. In comparison, you’ve opted for your simple white sneakers along with jeans and Javy’s jersey. You’ve also opted for the men’s fit after Josie pointed out that though they won’t mention it, the boys much prefer their girls in the baggier men’s jerseys as opposed to the more fitted female styles. “It looks like you’re wearing their jerseys.” Josie had explained as you tried on the jersey for the first time. “And their dirty little minds love that.” You can’t help the way your cheeks heat as you examine your simple appearance in the mirror. Hopefully, Josie’s right, and Javy will appreciate it. “Don’t worry about the long sleeves,” she adds as she puts the finishing touches on her makeup. “The rink can sometimes feel a bit chilly and you’ll appreciate them.” You tug the ends of your sleeves over your hands experimentally and find that Josie’s probably going to be right.
When you reach the arena, things are already in full swing. You help Josie wrangle the kids and you make your way to the same set of seats you’d sat at last time. Traffic getting to the arena was slow-moving and warmups have already begun. As you help Josie get things situated the kids run up to the glass, eager to see their dad and you follow, scooping Skylar up into your arms so she can see the rink while Jamie slaps the glass to try and attract his father’s attention. You notice Mickey waving across the rink at the kids before he gets Reuben’s attention. Reuben skates over and waves to the kids who eagerly wave back. He carefully tosses a puck over the glass and Jamie catches it, cheering for his dad as you smile softly. You let Skylar down so she can bicker with Jamie over the puck and watch the warmups themselves, trying to remember what Nat taught you.
You’re so absorbed in your own thoughts that a bump on the glass makes you jump. You blink in surprise as you see Javy grinning at you from the other side of the glass. Your cheeks heat as he lays a gloved palm against the glass and you tentatively put your up to it. Javy’s grin widens as he thumps the glass three times and you follow his lead before he skates away, blowing you a kiss, and your heart stutters before you remember that you’re in public. He’s supposed to be your boyfriend, of course, he’s being romantic.
You return to your seats and do your best to focus on the game. Nat’s lessons pay off and you’re able to follow the game better than last time. The boys are playing hard but the other team is keeping up. By the third period, you’re flinching less at the hits and grabbing Josie as the two of you watch the tied game with bated breath. Unfortunately, the other team finally pulls ahead with five minutes to go and you and Josie collapse back against your seat with exasperated groans. Next to you, Skylar is asleep on her brother who’s struggling to stay awake, but even the infectious energy of the crowd is enough to keep the exhausted kids from feeling the effects of the busy week. Your teeth have worried your bottom lip into a mess over the last two and a half periods and you’re hoping the Dogfighters can take it to overtime even if you can feel exhaustion pulling at your bones.
The timer drops lower and lower and while the Dogfighters are giving it their all, the other team isn't giving up any ground. Bob is working double time to stop shots and keep the score difference from widening but that’s left the two teams at a stalemate, struggling against the other as the clock runs out. Finally, the ref blows the whistle and you and Josie let out a collective groan. The win was hard fought, but you can’t help but wish the Dogfighters had been able to take it back. You help Josie carry the things you’d brought, leading a drowsy Jamie by the hand while Josie hoists a sleeping Skylar into her arms. You make your way to the private part of the arena, reserved for players and staff to wait for Reuben. A yawn escapes your mouth and Josie gives you a tired smile of her own. The two of you give up on standing after a few moments where you’re sure Jamie almost falls asleep standing up and all pile onto a bench in the hallway, leaning against each other and fighting sleep. You must doze off regardless because you’re roused by the sound of Reuben’s voice as he coaxes Josie awake next to you, a fond smile on his face. He’s wearing his arrival suit and he comes around to crouch in front of a sleeping Jamie and you help him wrap Jamie’s small arms around his neck and Reuben lifts his son into his arms. You stretch, your arm having fallen asleep with Jamie sleeping on it. Josie stands with a groan, still carrying Skylar, and follows Reuben down the hallway toward the parking lot after exchanging sleepy goodbyes with you. You readjust yourself with a yawn, letting your shoulders sink with exhaustion, fighting the urge to full-on lay down on the bench. Javy’s offered to drive you home in exchange for you coming to the game since it would be late and the Fitches would have to get the kids home. If Reuben’s done, Javy shouldn’t be far behind.
***
You stir, your cheek bumping into something solid and you wrinkle your nose, squirming as you try and get comfortable again. You can’t have shut your eyes for longer than a moment. You blink, trying to reorient yourself and you’re staring sideways at a pair of knees. You frown, brows furrowing as you roll over onto your back and find yourself staring at the ceiling. Well, the ceiling and Javy’s face as he peers down at you. “Hey Meep,” you watch a smile creep across his face as yours twists into a confused frown, “sleep well?” You sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you frown at Javy who’s looking down at you endearingly, mirth dancing in his eyes.
“Wasn’t asleep, just resting my eyes,” you murmur sleepily and you’re too tired to glare when he chuckles. With great effort you manage to sit up, groaning as your heavy head protests. When you look up again, Javy’s back is facing you and your brows twist in confusion until his head turns to you and he jerks his chin awkwardly.
“Get on,” your brain is suddenly more awake. Your frown deepens and you shake your head as you slowly wrap your mind around what Javy’s proposing, your mind going back to Reuben and Jamie. “Meep get on, you’re exhausted so let’s not fight tonight and get you home. Your frown deepens even more at the idea that Javy’s right and so you wrap your arms around his neck, a sleepy pout on your face and you’re just awake enough to remind yourself not to bury your face in his neck to hide from the harsh hallway lights as you try to hold onto the threads of sleep and relax against Javy’s back as he carries you.
***
Javy can’t help the way his mouth quirks into a smile as the low rumble of snoring tickles his ear. Your arms around his neck are starting to go concerning slack, but he’s almost at the car. He tightens his grip on your thighs and freezes as your face nuzzles into his neck and he doesn’t miss the way his heart lurches in his chest. He knows you’re asleep. You’re doing all this involuntarily. You don’t mean to. And yet his heart is officially pounding out of his chest. He leans forward so you don’t slip with your grip loosening as he reaches the Range Rover. He thanks the keyless entry as the car chirps and unlocks without having to dig into his pocket for his keys. He comes around your side of the car and briefly considers laying you out in the back so that you can sleep more comfortably. He decides against it, worried that you’ll wake disoriented and scared somewhere he can’t instantly assure you that you’re safe. Well, that, and he doesn’t want to look like he’s kidnapping you. He fumbles to open your door before he does his best to ease you carefully into the passenger seat. He frowns as he carefully buckles your seatbelt. You’ll wake with a sore neck if you lean against the door while you’re sleeping so he finds a middle ground, carefully easily the seat back slightly so your body can curl slightly into the seat rather than need to lean against the door.
When he’s satisfied, he goes back around to the other side of the car, sliding into the driver’s seat and turning on the car before he looks back at you and slides his suit jacket off, draping it over your dozing form. At least this way he doesn’t have to focus on how good you look in his jersey. It’s not something new, per se, having a girl wear his jersey. He’s hooked up with plenty of girls with the 68 emblazoned on their backs, doing his best to ignore the brand-new smell of the fabric that sometimes even still has the tags on it. If he makes an effort to accidentally get a stain or two on those, rendering them unreturnable, it’s just an unfortunate byproduct of hooking up. He’s only had a girl or two blatantly complain about it, having the balls to admit they were planning on returning or selling the piece of clothing. One girl a few years ago had actually applauded him for “increasing the sale value” of the jersey and he’s been skeptical of girls in his jersey ever since. Being a hockey player already feels like a commodity where girls are considered, and the idea of them selling his semen, and worse, paying to buy it, gives him the ick.
There’s something different to be said, however, of you in his jersey. Sure he’s heard enough from Jake about how much he loves seeing Bugs wear his name and number, and he’s not blind to the way Bradley’s eyes can’t seem to tear away from Zam on the odd occasion that she dons his jersey. Josie shows up to every game repping her husband in some way or another, but he’d never considered what it would be like to have that himself. Then, tonight, seeing you and Josie watching you and Josie gripping each other excitedly in the stands, he’d found himself thinking about how good you look in the Dogfighters’ colors. He hadn’t even considered that the jersey you were wearing was his until he happened to look over during warmups while you were standing, your back to the rink as you helped Josie finagle something in a bag and he’d caught sight of his name staring back at him where it’s emblazoned across your back. He almost dropped his stick, accidentally shaking into Bradley who’d glared at him until he followed Javy’s gaze and smirked at him instead, skating away without another word.
He’s not sure when he decided he liked the idea of you being his but now he’s sitting here in his car with you asleep next to him when a month ago you’d never have considered letting your guard around him enough to relax let alone fall asleep. His heart is still hammering in his chest and his cheeks warm at the memory of your nose brushing his neck. Every part of his head is screaming in panic, the way it had that day after meeting your class for the first time. Every instinct that’s been burned into him over the year screams at him to run for the hills and burn every bridge on the way out, but he grips the steering wheel tight, pushing the voices away as his breathing comes out ragged.
He jerks the car to a harder stop than he’s like at a red light and takes a shaky breath as he looks over at you. The moonlight reflects the calm stillness of your face, brows smooth and at peace as you doze and he feels his grip loosen. You’re so brave, he thinks. He’s done nothing but push you out of your comfort zone and yet you’ve squared your shoulders and taken it in stride. Sure sometimes you’ve forged ahead with shaking hands and teary eyes, but you haven’t faltered once. You’re the bravest person he knows. He once thought that being brave meant being fearless but as he chances another look at you as he pulls into your parking lot he thinks maybe that being brave is being afraid and doing your best anyway.
He watches as you shift your smooth brow furrows in sleepy confusion and your nose scrunches in a way that goes straight to his heart as your eyes blink open, taking in your surroundings. You shift to sit up, peering out the window and Javy tries and fails to keep his eyes from shifting to the back of your jersey. “I fell asleep.” Your voice is rough with sleep as you rub at your eyes but he catches the irritation in your tone.
“And now you’re home, so you can get upstairs and back to sleep,” he points out and you turn, regarding him like you’ve forgotten that he’s in the car too. You nod, frowning as you try to make sense of his words. “Come on, Meep, let’s get you to bed.” You nod again, turning to let yourself out of the car. When he gets to the other side of the car you’re fumbling with your purse to find your keys. When he offers you his hand you wave him off, shuffling sleepily towards the stairs up to your apartment and he trails along behind you, making sure you don’t just collapse somewhere halfway up and spend the night there. When you reach your door, he watches as you fumble with your keys for a solid thirty seconds before he takes the keys from your hand. You don’t argue but he can feel your glare on his temple as he unlocks the door. Your hand grips the knob, taking your keys from him with the other.
“Goodnight, Javy.” He smiles at the sleepy slur in your voice as he steps back and you give him a nod.
“Goodnight, Meep, sleep tight.” You wave half-heartedly as he chuckles softly and you duck past him into the apartment, surprisingly quick as you swing the door shut behind you, and he waits for the turns of the lock and deadbolt before he turns and heads back to his car, trying not to think about how badly he wants you to come back and invite him in.
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A/N: Where do you think Javy and Roadie are going this weekend?
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