#NOT A JOKE

[missiletainnyt]

I hope you can sit on benches in Pokemon Legends Z-A

It is my most wanted feature

they made such a big deal about it in the XY trailers, if they don't include it I will feel betrayed.

[paper-mario-wiki]

hey i keep getting uncensored teen titans porn ads on tumblr. why?

[narcissistcookbook]

sometimes i'm my own favourite band

[pendragon1400]

Phineas and Ferb really came along and just changed the entire concept of cartoons huh

[that-hippie-user]

:D GUYS!! I LEARNED THE ULTIMATE PRO TIP!!!

VOICE TRAINING HELPS WITH A SORE THROAT!!!

XD i cant promise this is universal, but i got the flu right now and my throat is a mess. but talking in my cutesy girly UwU voice gives me no pain!

:D so all us sick trans girls out there pay attention! you need to learn the sacred ways of fire!

begin by taking in a deep breath.

breathe out and silently try making an "oooooooh" sound like you see something interesting, and steadily raise your larynx by turning it into an "eeeeeeeee" sound, then go from silent to audible, making an "eeeeeeee" noise.

you have now raised your larynx and can make higher pitch sounds! keep your larynx in this position and say the magic words:

Heat From Fire, Fire From Heat.

:D practice this lots and lots and tryyyyy to talk this way often. maintain focus on keeping your larynx at this position even when not speaking.

the more you practice, the lighter your voice will get over time! and then your trans superpower will kick in! >:3 the power to voice act for both guys AND girls!

:D and to any non-trans followers, this superpower can be learned by anyone! so feel free to voice train yourself if you wanna mess with people!

:3 and it goes without saying that Femboys and Sissies can also learn this technique. in my book you guys got Honorary Girl status anyway! so go nuts!

X3 and lets not forget the Enbies! cuz variety is the spice of life and your voice should reflect that! :3 if ya want!

[tunneltalkpod]

The Gang Interviews the Young Bucks

The record-breaking multi-time "Mommy's Little Ham" award winner Matthew Jackson and the Diet Coke Daredevil himself Nicholas Jackson join your hosts for a girls chat about Dynasty, fashion, bikinis, and getting touched for the very first time. None of that is a fever dream. It really happened.

Listen now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

[peepeepoopoo8008135]

maddie peer pressured me into this i am HELD AT GUNPOINT this is not a joke CALL 911

@sasharcyreal ^.^

[sophiefoster942]

#Let sophie Elizabeth Foster stab someone in book ten

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: No Time for Monkey Business

Danny’s family is gone. His parents, Jazz... 

Danny had come home to Fenton works only to find the place tossed and ransacked, the portal broken, and his family missing. Danny doesn’t know who to trust, but he needs to find his family and whoever took them. He can’t do it on his own though, He needs help. He needs a detective, and who better to help then the greatest detective in the world...

Bobo T. Chimpanzee aka Detective Chimp

For those of you unfamiliar with Detective Chimp, he is canonically the best detective in the world, better than Batman who is merely the best human detective. His skills include being able to speak to any living creature, eternal youth, hyperintelligence, incredible deductive skills, occult knowledge, and alcoholism

okay, the alcoholism isn’t a skill bit it’s wild he’s an alcoholic in canon. His entire lore is frankly wild, including Rex the Wonder Dog and the fountain of youth plus a court case that examined the implications of him being an animal owning his own business and making contracts. The ape has been in a surprising amount of team ups, from Batman, to the Shadowpact, and is in the regular rotation of Justice League Dark

He owns a magic sword called the Sword of Night, and is sassy with a sort of dry humor. Honestly kind of similar to constantine in some ways.

And Danny should play the Watson to his Sherlock. 

[cb-writes-stuff]

Kill me now!

[alexanderwales]

I'm trying to read this research article on attention spans, and I keep getting distracted.

[biscuitdragonwithastick]

I love the smut I write but I can’t masturbate to it 😔. I’m a victim of cringe culture. Can’t do it without feeling like I’m stroking my own ego.

*ba dum tss*

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Like fine, add a fucking gimmick to our dashboards, nothing new for tumblr, but THEY PUT IT OVER THE FUCKING REBLOG BUTTON.

[bbbwren]

I love facebook marketplace so much.

yes I do need 10 old windows, a compost bin, a stack of wooden pallets, your broken down scooter, probably some rocks too, and your rusted out trailer. and i FOR SURE need this "cool metal table" that is clearly a instruments table for a dentist or a surgeon. i need it so bad actually.