#also ignore the fact I used monkey in the title it was the best i could come up with
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DP x DC: No Time for Monkey Business
Danny’s family is gone. His parents, Jazz...
Danny had come home to Fenton works only to find the place tossed and ransacked, the portal broken, and his family missing. Danny doesn’t know who to trust, but he needs to find his family and whoever took them. He can’t do it on his own though, He needs help. He needs a detective, and who better to help then the greatest detective in the world...
Bobo T. Chimpanzee aka Detective Chimp
For those of you unfamiliar with Detective Chimp, he is canonically the best detective in the world, better than Batman who is merely the best human detective. His skills include being able to speak to any living creature, eternal youth, hyperintelligence, incredible deductive skills, occult knowledge, and alcoholism
okay, the alcoholism isn’t a skill bit it’s wild he’s an alcoholic in canon. His entire lore is frankly wild, including Rex the Wonder Dog and the fountain of youth plus a court case that examined the implications of him being an animal owning his own business and making contracts. The ape has been in a surprising amount of team ups, from Batman, to the Shadowpact, and is in the regular rotation of Justice League Dark
He owns a magic sword called the Sword of Night, and is sassy with a sort of dry humor. Honestly kind of similar to constantine in some ways.
And Danny should play the Watson to his Sherlock.
#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc#Danny Phantom#detective chimp#the 'T' in bobo t chimpanzee stands for 'the'#not a joke#frankly it's a disservice that there aren't any team ups between him and danny yet#i said danny should be the watson to his sherlock#but lets face it it would end up being a bit more 'great mouse detective'#but seriously the lore is kind of wild for this guy#not fanart#he legit looks like if sherlock holms was an ape#Granted with the purpleback gorilla thing Bobo wouldn't be the first ape danny has worked with#also ignore the fact I used monkey in the title it was the best i could come up with#my insomnia is kicking my butt
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I don't know if journeytothewestresearch is trusting in some things, because he said that 6 eared Macaque and Wukong are sworn brothers, confusing them with the other Macaque named Macaque King
https://www.tumblr.com/journeytothewestresearch/684822807998283776/hey-sorry-to-bother-hope-youre-having-a-nice?source=share
And from what I've been searching too, Six eared and Macaque King, weren't the same, so Six Eared never was sworn brother with Wukong, and Wukong neber knew 6 eared Macaque to became sworn brother with.
Correct me if I'm wrong tho!
Oh yeah, I remember the controversy that stirred up (though I do find it inch-resting how to this day @journeytothewestresearch's well-cited argument that LEMH is SWK's immoral self which makes up the bulk of that post is still largely ignored lol). But anyway--and keeping in mind as usual that I am an amateur scholar in JTTW matter at best--my general understanding of the situation now is that there is some evidence that the Macaque King and the Six-Eared Macaque might have been sworn brothers, as the Macaque King's self-proclaimed title of "Fair Wind Sage"/"Telltale Great Sage" (depending on the Yu translation you're looking at) could refer to the six-eared simian's ability to gather all sorts of information on the wind as it were. Or it could refer to how this monkey is as fast as the wind. But there does seem to be just as much if not more evidence that the true and false monkey king arc were the first time the two had met. I have seen @journeytothewestresearch say that the earlier Anthony C. Yu translation title of "The Female Monkey King" was a mistranslation on Yu's part, but I've also seen others say that there is in fact a history in some parts of China of considering the simian in question to be a lady, as besides the gender-neutral term used to refer to the sages of the sworn brotherhood macaques do indeed live in groups with a dominant female that oversees the entire troop. And then in Xiyouji itself, and in very direct contrast to the lengths the Monkey King goes through to not fight against Niú Mówáng, he gives 0 signs of recognizing the Six-Eared Macaque even when his true form is revealed, is in fact "unable to contain himself" from bonking the guy to death and then saying, to quote both the earlier and the later Yu translation, "You should not have compassion on him...He wounded my master and robbed us of our wraps. Even according to the law, he was guilty of assault and robbery in broad daylight. He should have been executed." So YEAH not exactly the words of a guy who's super broken up about having to fight against one of his beloved sworn brothers lol. So all in all you do seem to have some wiggle room and leeway with going with one identity or the other for the six-eared simian, but the one thing that does remain consistent across even the Yu translations is how much the Monkey King wants to bonk him dead and does not gaf about said bonking or said death.
I guess the moral of this story goes once again back to the fact that when you're dealing with translations there can be a LOT of room for multiple "correct" meanings for some aspects of it, and that this can be particularly true when it comes to a work like Xiyouji that has a vast history of multiple written and oral versions even before Wu Cheng'en's written classic. And while I do think it's always good to do your own research and remember that even professionals are just as capable of making mistakes as anyone else, I still have to hand it to @journeytothewestresearch for being like one of the very, very few people on this site who actually backs up his statements with academic citations lmao.
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Deja Vu (part 2 of 'Drivers License')
(inspired by deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo)
Word count: 2.5k
Read part 1 here
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“What the fuck is this?”
Harry flinched as his girlfriend shoved the phone at him. He’d just got out of the shower, hair still dripping wet, but it wasn’t so out of the ordinary that she would start a fight first thing in the morning.
He sighed and gently pushed her phone away from his face. “Baby, if it’s another rumour about me cheating on you...I was with you this whole week!”
“No.” She lifted the phone up to his face again. “That girl just released another song about you.”
Even though Harry didn’t let it show, whenever he heard about Y/N, his heart would always skip a beat. He couldn’t remember exactly when the last time they’d spoken was, but he knew in his last message to her, he’d congratulated her on that new song about him. She’d never replied, and he’d taken it as the answer — they could never go back to the way it was.
It had broken his heart to listen to ‘drivers license’. Y/N had never been the kind of person to be vocal about her feelings. Or maybe she’d expressed it through actions instead of words, and he had been too nonchalant to see? He hadn’t meant to break her heart and leave her in the dust. After all, she used to be his best friend.
“Y/N’s a songwriter. She writes about her own experience the same way I do. Maybe that song is not even about me, babe,” he calmly told his girlfriend, who was standing in front of him with fresh tears in her eyes. He hated to see her cry, and he hated that this wasn’t the first time she’d done it because of him. He tried to reach for her but she stepped back, shaking her head.
“Listen to the song.”
“Baby.”
“Listen to the song,” his girlfriend repeated without looking at him. “Why are you so afraid?”
“I’m not.”
“Then listen to it and tell me it’s not about you, and that she’s not throwing shades at me. I’m so tired of this girl telling the world about how horrible we are as if you had even dated her in the first place—”
“Fine,” Harry exhaled sharply, his eyes pinched shut. He hated that when his girlfriend got mad, she would get so mean for no reason, and the last thing he wanted to hear right now was her insulting Y/N. He knew Y/N. She had always been respectful to his new relationship. However, he wasn’t in the position to tell his girlfriend how to feel about this situation. He knew it was all his fault, so he stayed quiet, took the phone from his girlfriend and sat down on the edge of the bed. His girlfriend stood with her back against the wall facing him, waiting for him to play the song so she could see his reaction to it.
“Go on,” she told him, her voice emotionless.
Harry looked at the song on Spotify. It was titled deja vu. He took a deep breath and one last look at his girlfriend before finding enough courage to press play.
Y/N’s previous song about him had been blasted in every shop he’d visited, all the time when he was filming, every time he was in the car, and now, the moment he heard her voice again, it really did feel like deja vu.
Car rides down Malibu
Strawberry ice cream
One spoon for two…
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“Are we there yet?”
“No, stop being so impatient! Just keep on driving!” Y/N said and looked out of the window on the passenger side. The sun was going down, and the horizon was gradually turning the colour of an egg yolk. It was their last day in Miami. They had been filming for every day that week, and this was the only day they could spend just for themselves.
Harry stole a glance at Y/N and saw that she’d finished half the strawberry ice cream while bobbing her head to the song Uptown Girl on the radio. He frowned, making her laugh when she noticed.
“Open your mouth,” she said and fed him a spoon of ice cream.
“Ahh, brain freeze!”
“But it’s good, isn’t it?”
“So good.” Harry licked his lips. The face he made got Y/N laughing harder.
Fifteen minutes later they arrived at a secluded beach. Y/N had found this place when she traveled to this city alone two summers ago and almost got lost.
Together, she and Harry carried their picnic things through a palm forest, and by the time they saw the ocean, the moon had made a fading presence on the pink Miami sky.
Y/N picked up her shoes and ran towards the waves, letting it chase her back into Harry’s arms and nearly knocking him over. Their laughter echoed in the wind as their shadows stretched out long and lanky on the empty beach. In that very moment, it felt to Harry as if they were the only people in this world, and he had a sense of peace that he might never be able to experience again.
“You don’t get to see this in the city,” Y/N said dreamily as she pulled Harry’s jacket tighter around herself. It was dark now, and the sky above them was full of stars. They sat shoulder to shoulder on a picnic blanket, listening to the whispers of the ocean and the wind. Harry used Y/N’s jacket as a blanket because it was too small for him to put on. They’d laughed for five minutes straight when she told him he looked like that monkey from Aladdin and took plenty of photos just to prove the point.
“I don’t want to leave tomorrow,” he said, still looking at the sky.
“Me neither,” Y/N sighed, her shoulder brushing his. There was a pause, and he could feel her eyes on him, so he turned and saw her looking. “When I get home,” she said with a small smile that made her eyes sparkle, “I’ll learn to drive, and when we come to Miami next time, I can drive you to this beach.”
“I’d love that,” Harry said, then made her pink-promise him.
.
.
.
“They went to Miami last week.”
Y/N blinked. The beach and starry sky disappeared in a second, and she found herself once again standing in the fitting room with her stylist and best friend.
“What?” her best friend marched over to where she stood in front of the full-length mirror.
Her stylist was holding the phone up to show her the article. “Here. Harry took that actress to Miami last week.”
“Don’t show her these!” Y/N’s best friend grabbed the phone and put it on the vanity desk as she gestured to the stylist. “You do your work. Enough chit-chatting.”
“I took him there,” Y/N said. She didn’t even recognise her own voice at first because she was too in shock. She didn’t think Harry would do something like that. But let’s be honest -- how much did she really know about him?
It had been a few months since his last text to her, which she had ignored, and now her song had been overplayed, and nobody cared about the drama anymore. The whole world had moved on, and she had, too. Or so she’d thought. Now, seeing these pictures of him and his girlfriend on that Miami beach made Y/N feel betrayed.
“Asshole,” her best friend said and grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t worry baby. You’re prettier.”
Y/N worked up a smile and opened her mouth to say that she was fine, but then she heard someone call her name and turn around. They weren’t calling for her. Just a name similar to hers that had become an inside joke between her and her friends.
The moment she locked eyes with Harry’s girlfriend, her heart seemed to stop as she held her breath, her lips thinned as if to hold back a scream. She didn’t know the girl personally and had never run into her before today. How unfortunate that they had to be in the same room after Y/N had seen those Miami pics.
“What is she doing here?” Y/N’s best friend asked the stylist the question Y/N was too afraid to ask.
“Fitting for an event, I guess,” the stylist said.
Y/N told them to just ignore the others and mind their own business. The sooner they got the measurements, the faster she could leave. Or she could leave right now and come back another day, but that would make it look like the other girl’s presence was bothering her. They were both actresses, and so they would have to run into each other at some point. She must be professional about it. This was normal. Just act normal.
“He’s so unique,” Harry’s girlfriend said while laughing with her team. Y/N didn’t mean to overhear the conversation, but apparently, the girl was making sure that Y/N heard her loud and clear. “We were watching reruns of Glee last night, and he even sang to me and told me he loved me inbetween the chorus and the verse. Don’t touch the jacket! It’s Harry’s and it’s Gucci. We exchange jackets sometimes. Isn’t that adorable?”
“Show off,” Y/N’s best friend scoffed while shaking her head.
Y/N didn’t say anything. In her mind, she agreed with her best friend for a second and immediately felt that she was being petty so she forced herself to just be nonchalant about it.
She could not. She could not ignore the fact that she’d been replaced as if she didn’t matter. Harry was doing all the things he used to do with her with his new girl. Even taken her to that Miami beach. Their place.
Y/N bit her lip and tried to hold back the half-formed tears in her eyes as the stylist went on talking about the fabric. She chose a random one just to get this over with.
“I hope that fucker gets deja vu.”
“What?” Y/N blinked at her best friend, who gave a mean shrug as she glared at the girl.
“He’s probably thinking of you while doing all that shit with her.”
Y/N pondered over it. Over and over. Even after the girlfriend’s laughter had faded down the hallway, and Y/N was also packing up to leave the studio. Her best friend’s words stayed with her as she got into the car and watched the street of London pass by her window.
That night, when she was alone in her living room with her piano. She sat down and started playing a few experimental chords. Then, she cried. Her tears blurred the handwritten lyrics on her notebook as she tried again.
“I have this idea,” she told her manager on the phone before sending the recording. It was three in the morning.
“Oh my god,” her manager exclaimed, sounding much more enthusiastic than he had when picking up her call. “This song...is so gonna win a Grammy!”
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.
Y/N’s song had won a Grammy.
They had talked about it for so long. Harry had encouraged her to pursue a singing career, because she’d started out as an actress but was blessed with the most beautiful voice he had ever heard.
Ironic, wasn’t it? Now he was sitting at the front row and looking up at her as she received the award from an artist she looked up to, for the song written about him. She smiled at the crowd as the light shone on her and everyone was cheering because she deserved this. She said her thanks and expressed her gratitude to her family, her teams and her fans. She didn’t say his name. He hadn’t hoped that she would, because he knew there was no way his name would come with a positive message. So he was kind of glad she hadn’t mentioned him.
His girlfriend squeezed his arm as if she knew what he was thinking of. He smiled at his girlfriend. A smile of reassurance. They had put it behind them and promised to try again after all the fights about the song they were playing right now. Nothing would change after tonight. Because there was nothing Harry could change.
He caught Y/N’s eyes for one brief moment as she ascended the stage. Although he was sure he loved his girlfriend, there was something about that look that made him sad. Would he be happier to come here with Y/N tonight instead of his girlfriend? He wouldn’t know, because that would never happen. He didn’t even know if she still resented him, or if she was still the same person he remembered. A lot could change in a day let alone many months. And it was scary to think someone you used to know so much had become a complete stranger. The opposite of love wasn’t hate. It was indifference. And Harry felt it deeply as Y/N never paid him a second glance.
At the after-party, he worked up the courage to approach her when he found her standing alone texting on her phone.
“Hi. How are you?” he said.
Y/N looked at him as if she couldn’t understand English. If she ignored him and walked away, this would be the most humiliating moment of his life.
But no. She pressed her lips into a gentle smile and said, “I’m good. How are you?”
“Good.” He nodded, wanting to shake her hand, but his fingers stayed glued together behind his back. “Congratulations on your win.”
“Thank you.” She picked up the glass of wine on the table beside them, and Harry knew he’d lost his chance of shaking her hand tonight. “Did you like the song?”
“Yeah. It was good,” he said, finding it difficult to hold eye contact with her. There was something new about her that unsettled him, and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For speaking out about it.”
“Oh.” Y/N showed no emotion as she shrugged. “It’s alright. I only said the truth. The song was fictional, and I don’t want anyone to get hate for it.”
They both knew it wasn’t true, and he couldn’t tell her that his girlfriend had almost broken up with him for it. Even if he had told her that, he didn’t think Y/N would care. She didn’t look like the Y/N he knew anymore. Suddenly, he recalled that night on the beach, when she was still looking at him with feelings.
“Look, Y/N, I—”
Before he got a chance to form a proper thought for what he was going to say, his girlfriend, who was obviously drunk, shouted from somewhere behind him. “Babe, Jeff’s wearing a tiny jacket! He looks more like the monkey than you!”
Harry looked at Y/N. She held his gaze. The corners of her red lips quirked as she raised her glass. “Deja vu?”
Just like that, she left him standing there all by himself.
#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine#harry styles fluff#harry styles imagines#harry styles angst#harry styles writing#harry styles x reader#harry styles one shot#harry styles one shots#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#deja vu#drivers license#olivia rodrigo
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The prompt you wrote with baby MK was extremely cute, but it also gave me an idea that wouldn't leave my brain: Imagine that same situation, but with Mei and Macaque. This is an open prompt, you can do with this whatever you like!
MK isn’t the only one who gets to have this kind of curse/ailment anymore! And I can’t resist putting this in the Cursed AU specifically, simply because I love the idea of this Macaque being confronted face first with the fact he actually cares. Even if it happens 200 times.
"What in the absolute hell are we supposed to do now?" Macaque groaned out, looking around the both of them for any indication of an escape that didn't involve him leaving Mei behind. Which was looking slimmer and slimmer if he didn’t want her to be in more physical danger than she already was. So. Stranded it was.
"I can still help!" Mei insisted, crossing her arms and standing her ground with a wide smirk. "I'm not powerless you know!"
"Never said you were, Jade," Macaque acknowledged instantly, tensing for a half moment when he realized how much he had to be attached to say something like that so fast. He forced himself to relax once again, no point in adding more fuel to the fire of worry that laid between them. "This just makes things complicated."
Oh yeah... complicated, that was one way to put it, definitely. If Macaque was being generous. And ignoring the fact that Mei wasn’t even 4 feet tall... and 4 years old. Physically.
Macaque was supposed to be on official mystic monkey business alone. Or at least that’s what he told Mei and MK to hopefully keep them out of his fur, but apparently Mei had other ideas. Like sneaking onto the private boat he had paid for to be taken to this secluded island far out into the ocean undetected, much farther than Mount Huaguo was. How she managed to sneak past security he may never know, now would he know how she managed to stay hidden for their 7 hour journey, and he would never admit that he was genuinely impressed.
He genuinely had not known she joined him until after the boat left, leaving them both stranded for at least the next 24 hours.
Horray.
Things had actually been going pretty ok, for the most part, after she had made herself known. In actuality Macaque was here to hunt down a specific item of his he had left behind on the island years ago, nothing really world shattering just... important to him. He knew that it would be safe here when he left it, the island as uninhabited and out of the way for humans to come to as it was.
But he also knew many powerful demons occasionally used this island as a hiding ground for when they were injured or planning something, against the owner’s wishes. And unfortunately one such demon just happened to be there on the one day of the while year he planned on coming.
That demon was deader than anything else on this island at the moment. Macaque hadn’t tried to kill him, not really, but they had lobbed something at him that Mei jumped in front of and he reacted on instinct.
If the thing had hit him in the first place they would probably be just fine. A decade and a half off his life span was nothing, unless it was set to a specific age in which... well, he was already able to do most of what he could do as a child so they still probably would have been ok. And hopefully she would be, if his memory served this particular demon was talented only in making temporary cursed and potions... mostly.
He hoped.
“Are you certain using your powers won’t hurt you?” Macaque asked, staring down at the short girl before him.
“I don’t think so?” Mei said with a shrug. “I mean, I’ve kinda had them for as long as I remember so... probably not.”
“Let’s not take that chance,” Macaque said with a sigh, looking around the beach. There was nothing for him to use, no emergency radio or boat. The best they had found on their entire search was a dinky little shelter. “It looks like our best bet would be to hunker down in that building and wait until mid day tomorrow for the boat to return. Provided there aren’t any more demons around we should be fine...”
“I can build a fire!” Mei proclaimed, running off before Macaque could even hope to catch her.
Something pulled in his chest, a protective thrum that he hadn’t felt since... since his journey with MK, but was becoming increasingly common the more time he spent training Mei. And he hadn’t felt that for so long he had forgotten what it felt like when it happened then, so unfamiliar with the desire to protect his old home and monkey friends of Mount Huaguo.
He would never admit even to himself that that feeling was “caring”. At least not yet.
“Jade, get back here!” Macaque yelled, moving to rush off after her before she came barreling back herself with armfuls of sticks and pine cones.
“I got everything we need!” She laughed and threw everything down in front of the building, looking around. “Did you see any rocks?”
“I know how to build a fire,” Macaque said softly, crossing his arms and shaking his head. “We probably don’t even need one.”
“Aw, but this is like a camping trip now!” Mei said, flailing her arms in the direction of the sticks. “I’ve even got marshmallows in my backpack!”
“Why did you bring m-never mind,” Macaque groaned, rubbing his face and sighing deeply. “OK. We’ll build a fire.”
~
It had gone better than hoped, actually. Macaque was able to start the fire with ease and Mei had apparently thought ahead enough that she’s brought the ingredients to make something called s’mores. Macaque had never seen them before, either they were new or they were a foreign treat, but MK had mentioned them to him on their journey and he had to admit... they were nice.
He just wished the gooey marshmallow didn’t stick to his fur so bad.
“And then MK did something that made the clone glow gold and explode into a bazillion pieces of hair!” Mei said, sweeping her arms out as she finisher her story. “And that’s how MK created and saved me from Porty Clone.”
“Sound like MK’s clones had quite the variety to them,” Macaque said with a smile. He’d relaxed over the evening, the normal sounds of the island confirming to him that it was just the two of them now and that at the very least they were safe from attack for the moment. “No wonder he’s careful not to overuse them.”
“Yeah, but Porty was pretty fun until he went overboard,” Mei replied, words cutting off with a yawn and a shiver as the wind picked up. “What time is it?”
Macaque looked up, watching the moon and the stars. “Late enough that it would be best to get some rest. We don’t want to miss the boat after all.”
“Hey, you only paid them half so they better come looking for you if you don’t show up!” She laughed out, making her way into the building as Macaque dumped sand on the fire to douse it. Just in case, don’t need the island catching fire with the wind. “ So uh... what are you going to tell them about... me?”
“That I came here looking for you,” he said plainly, shutting the door behind them. The moonlight shone through the windows of the shelter, giving them just enough light to see the one sad little cot it housed, right next to the massive stock of canned food they had also raided for dinner. He pulled the blanket on the cot back, grimacing at the dust on the blanket but satisfied with the condition of everything under it. He went outside to shake it out and make it usable again. “They know I was looking for something and that’s all they need to know.”
“What were you looking for anyway, Hot Topic?” Mei asked after a moment, watching Macaque make the bed again. “And how do you... know about this place?”
“... it’s mine, actually,” he said quietly, looking around the sad shelter. Unfurnished, cold and empty, with only the island itself and non-perishable food for survival. “I haven’t been back in a long time and most know to stay away, but sometimes demons don’t care. I was looking for something... unimportant.”
“It must have been important if you came all this way to find it,” Mei said, yawning again and rubbing her eyes.
“Ok, that’s enough of that!” Macaque exclaimed, hoping his glamor was hiding the embarrassed flush of his ears at her accusation. “Time for sleep!”
Without giving her a second to protest Macaque grabbed her around the waist with his tail and deposited her under the now clean enough blanket before forcibly tucking her in.
“Hey!” She protested, scowling at him once her arms were free. “I can’t sleep yet!”
“Why not?” Macaque chanced, wondering if he was going to regret this.
“You never told me a story.”
“... huh?”
“At the camp fire!” Mei insisted, leaning over the bed to grab her backpack and hold it to herself like it was a stuffed animal (which wasn’t hard since it was... basically a hollow stuffed dragon anyway). “I told you a bunch of stories about me and MK and Piggy and Tangy and Sandy and you didn’t tell me anything about you and the Monkey King! So spill one, I’m not going to sleep until you do!”
Macaque wanted to say no, wanted to glare at Mei until she just went to sleep through sheer exhaustion, wanted to walk out of the building and just stand guard at the door instead... but he kept looking into her teeny tiny 4 year old glower and he couldn’t help but sigh in defeat.
“Fine...” He said after a moment, moving to sit at the head of the bed. He watched as Mei smiled widely, making herself comfortable. “Let’s see... where should we begin... How about the time Wukong thought it would be a good idea to challenge the whole island to 1 on 1 combat for the title of king because he was bored, long before his proper training?”
“That sounds like him,” Mei said, smiling into her backpack with another yawn as she closed her eyes. “Yeah... tell that one.”
“OK, so this was only a little while after he jumped through the waterfall...”
And Macaque went on and on, giving much more detail than necessary, watching as Mei slowly relaxed until she eventually nodded off before the story even got close to the ending.
Which was... probably good for Macaque, to be honest.
He reached into his pocket, pulling out the item he had come here to find. It was simple, all things considered. A little carved crown, made from wood and preserved carefully through the years, far too small for his head and more of a bracelet. Wukong had made it for him when their own duel, the final one of the whole island, ended in a draw all those centuries ago. A show of how they could, maybe, rule the mountain together one day. He’d left it here so long ago that he worried it would have been destroyed or fallen apart over time.
Apparently Wukong knew a little something about what he was doing back then after all.
Macaque smiled, slipping it back into his pocket as he slid off the bed to sit against it, all six ears fluttering out to listen to the island around them. Just in case.
Mei slept mostly soundly behind him and if she started to whine in the beginnings of a nightmare and he turned around to soothe her and whisper that he was there and she was alright well... that would be something to talk about if she remembered it.
#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#gen fic#deage fic#six eared macaque#mei#long xiaojiao#cursed au#dad macaque#i couldn't help adding in a little idea i had with him and wukong at the end#since this is pretty much non-canon to the au anyway
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The Magic of Books and Peppermint {FilixModern!Reader}
Anon Request from Tumblr: Hello! And happy new year! I love your blog! (Especially the funny dialog posts! They really make my day when I read them!) If you're doing requests, can I ask for one between fili x fem!modern!human reader? Where Bain/Legolas is into her and makes obvious advances but Fili is in love with her too and gets super jealous so that's how the reader finds out he returns her feelings? If not that's cool too and I hope you have a great and wonderful new Year! :D
*To make the story work you are in one of those booths that has openings on either end.
A.N: So I set this around this time of year just because I’m still hanging on to that holiday mindset so I hope that’s ok! Also, no, I am not addicted to peppermint drinks, why on earth would you think that? Anyways, thank you for the request lovely Anon! I’ve never written modern au before and I had a lot of fun with it. I hope you like it and that you are having a wonderful start to 2021!
Word Count: 2,398
Pairing: Fili x Fem!Modern!Human! Reader
Summary: Fili gets jealous of Bain’s attention towards you.
Warnings: Unwanted romantic advances, fluff, some angst, jealousy.
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The Magic of Books and Peppermint
You slid into the coffee shop booth, peppermint mocha in hand, and, upon taking a sip, sighed in happiness. December was your favorite time of year, not just because you got to come home, but mainly because coffee shops sold peppermint flavored drinks. Sure, it was nice to see your family and get a break from college, but man, peppermint mochas were good. Kili, one of your best friends, laughed at you from the other side of the table, as his brother Fili tried to take the cup away from you with little success. You had known them since you were five, they had moved in next door with their uncle while their mom was away, and you had been best friends ever since.
“Y/N,” Kili commented, “I honestly don’t think it's good to consume that much caffeine and sugar.” “What are you talking about?” you answered. “This is only my fourth drink of the day, and one of them was a peppermint hot cocoa!” Fili and Kili just shook their heads at you as the “Ding!” of the bell at the door announced the arrival of Legolas and Bain, completing your little group. Bain and Fili were older than you, Legolas, and Kili, but somehow the four of them had taken you into their group when you had become friends with Kili in seventh grade. Legolas swung a chair around to sit at the head of the booth, and Bain slid in next to you and slung his arm around your shoulders, prompting a glare from Fili which you missed. Bain had become increasingly touchy-feely every time you returned home from college, and you were unsure why. You figured it was probably just because he missed you, but you never saw him act the same with Fili, who was a year ahead of you at the same out-of-state college.
“Bain, Legolas, tell Y/N she drinks too much sugar,” Kili demanded. “Why?” Legolas wanted to know. “It’s eleven in the morning, she can’t have had too much already.” “This is her fourth drink today!” Fili exclaimed, looking exasperated. “That’s it, Y/N,” Legolas snatched your cup out of your hand and slid it across the table to Kili, who chugged it with a smug look on his face. “You’re going to join me in a sugar-free lifestyle.” You sighed. Legolas had been sugar-free since your freshman year of high school, as he wanted to stay fit for sports. It had paid off, he had gotten a full scholarship for gymnastics, but you sometimes thought he went a little overboard. Kili had also gone to college on an athletic scholarship, for basketball, but as evidenced by the fact that he had just chugged your entire mocha, he was not on any sort of health kick, nor had he ever been. “I will consider going sugar-free after New Year’s,” you told Legolas. “But after New Year’s we all go away again and I won’t be able to keep tabs on you!” he exclaimed. “That’s exactly the point, Legolas,” you leaned back with a smug look on your face. “Well, I don’t think Y/N needs to do anything of the sort,” Bain interjected, “She’s gorgeous as is!” A tad uncomfortable at this statement, you shrugged out from under his arm, missing the disappointed look on his face, but noticing the slightly triumphant look on Fili’s, as you did so.
After you had finished your sandwich, you announced, “Well, I’m gonna head over to the bookstore,” as you slid out of the booth. “I’ll walk you down there,” Bain said, sliding out of the other end. “I have to stop at the hardware store down the street anyway. Da wants me to carve Tilda a slingshot, and my pocketknife is dull.” Making your way towards the door, you heard a muffled thump and turned around to see Bain sprawled on the floor next to your booth. “What happened?” you gasped as Legolas helped him up. “I have no idea,” he answered, shaking his head while walking towards you across the linoleum. “Let’s get going.” You didn’t hear Kili whisper “I know you tripped him,” to his brother as you left.
Bain had left you at the bookstore with a promise to come back once he was done with his errands. As you entered the store, you heard the jingle of the little bell and breathed in the air. Kili had always made fun of you for your love of the way bookstores smelled, but to you, there wasn’t anything better. You wound your way through the tall shelves bursting with novels until you got to the YA section. Grabbing a random title off the shelves, you collapsed into the beanbag in your favorite nook of the store with a sigh and became engrossed. You were pulled out of your reverie sometime later by the sight of a head peeking around the corner of the shelf in front of you.
“Fili!” you beamed as you jumped up from the chair. “You never come to the bookstore!” “I go to the bookstore all the time, Y/N. You just don’t see me.” He countered with a grin. “I’m at either this store or the one near campus all the time, so when could you possibly be here if I didn’t see you!” you questioned with a skeptical look on your face. “I’m an English major, I help out at the bookstore on campus a lot, and Uncle Thorin’s friend Balin owns this place. I can get into any of them any time I want!” “I can’t be your friend anymore.” you dramatically stated as you fell back into the beanbag. “You have unlimited access to two bookstores AND YOU’VE NEVER SNUCK ME IN?!?!?!?” This shout was met with a shushing noise from Balin who was arranging the shelves nearby. Chastened, you glanced back up at Fili only to see a glare on his face. You followed his gaze to the end of the aisle and saw Bain walking towards you. “What’s up, Y/N?” he reached you and yet again slung his arm around your shoulders, drawing you close to him. “You finished or should we stick around until you’re done with that book?” He gestured to the open paperback on the chair. “Nah, let's go up to the counter and I’ll buy it.” And with that, you made your way to the counter and paid. Laughing with Bain, you exited the store with Fili trailing behind you, looking rather angry.
You made your way down the street only to be ambushed by a snowball to the head from a giggling Legolas, who had somehow perched himself on top of the lamppost and was now scooping more snow off of it to use as a projectile. Kili, who was balanced on the roof of the building next to you, dumped a bunch of snow onto Fili’s head, who, spluttering, yelled up at him, “I know you have your crazy ways of getting up there, but Mum’s gonna kill you if she sees you on top of another building!” Kili ignored him, and so Fili hit him in the face with a well-aimed snowball. Bain had pushed you down and was attempting to protect you from Legolas to no avail, as the blond was now swinging around the lamppost like a monkey, firing off snowballs at random. “Legolas, how did you get so much snow up there?” you queried while cowering from the onslaught. In response, he pointed to his coat, which was full of snow and tied to the lamppost so that he could reach it. “Movable ammo, Y/N!” he declared. Meanwhile, Fili had attacked Bain when he saw him protecting you and was now in the process of shoving snow down the back of his jacket while Bain squirmed as the cold hit his back. Fili let go and backed away, looking immensely pleased with himself. Kili clambered down from the roof as Legolas swung from the lamppost, did a flip, and stuck the landing, all while firing off two more snowballs to hit the brothers. He slung an arm over Kili and Bain’s shoulders and they set off down the road, with the sound of Legolas’ voice trailing behind them. “What’re we having for dinner, Kili? I hope your mom made something good!”
You trailed behind them next to Fili, who still looked like something was wrong. You were a little worried about him, and especially about the way, he was acting with Bain lately. Making up your mind, you blurted, “Hey, Fili. Can I ask you something?” He nodded, and you continued, stomping your boots on the icy ground as you spoke. “You’ve been a little off ever since we came home,” you continued. “Especially with Bain, you seem a little bit mean, if I’m being honest, and I want to make sure everything’s ok and nothing happened with you guys.” “Nothing’s happened with us. We’re still all good, and I’m really happy for the two of you.” As he said this you were focused on his eyes, which seemed to hold depths of sadness, and his smile, which seemed very forced. You studied them, and then stopped walking as the implication of what he had said sank in.
“Happy for us? Why would you be happy for us?” “Because you’re together,” “What?!” you exclaimed. “I’m not..we’re not…” you trailed off as your head spun, everything finally making sense. “Wait,” you grabbed Fili’s hand and pulled him closer to you, “you’ve been jealous!” He shuffled his feet on the ice, eyes stubbornly fixed on his boots. “I was not jealous! What do I have to be jealous over, anyway! It’s not like you and I are…” his voice dwindled as he purposefully avoided your eyes. “But we could be.” You grabbed his hand, and twined your fingers with his, hoping it would send the message you wanted. He stiffened at first but then relaxed. “Would you like to be?” he asked, looking like he regretted speaking the second he did so. “Yes, Fili. I very much would.”
“So, nothing is going on with you and Bain?” he asked as you started walking, hands swinging in between your bodies. You laughed at him, “No! Bain’s like a brother to me, the same as Kili or Legolas!” “Ok,” he blushed. “Just thought I’d clear that up before I did something else stupid.” Hand in hand, you followed behind your friends, looking forward to an excellent dinner when you arrived at Fili and Kili’s house.
Later that night, after your family had joined Thranduil, Legolas’s dad, and his husband Bard, who was Bain’s father, at Fili and Kili’s house for a delicious New Year’s Eve dinner, you lay in your bed mulling over your day. You had talked to Bain after dinner, just to let him know that you were now taken. It had been awkward, but you were proud that you had both handled it well. You just hoped things would go back to normal between the two of you soon, and that the fact that you were now dating Fili wouldn’t sting too much.
You were startled by a tapping on your window, and, rising from the pillows, opened it to see Kili, Legolas, and Bain standing below. “What are you guys doing?” you hissed from the second floor. “Just get dressed and climb down!” Legolas whisper-yelled back up to you. Sighing at the fact that whatever they had planned meant that you wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night, you threw on leggings, a hoodie, a flannel, and your beanie, wanting to be warm, and then shimmied out of your window, dropping smoothly to the ground and somersaulting to break your fall. “Wow, Y/N, I didn’t know you could do that!” Bain effused as you set off. “I’ve spent too much time around Legolas to not be able to somersault,” you shook your head as you remembered the many times that that skill had gotten you into, or out of trouble. “Where are we going?” you asked. “And where’s Fili?” “You’ll see when we get there,” Kili answered with a smug grin. You rolled your eyes at his vagueness and quickened your pace to keep up.
After about fifteen minutes, Kili halted in front of the bookstore, gesturing for you to open the door. “It’s closed, Kee! I can’t break in!” “Just trust us, Y/N” Legolas whispered. Sure this was just going to end in you tugging on a locked door while the three of them laughed, you yanked the handle, surprised when the door opened. You stepped inside, hearing the soft tinkle of the bell as the door swung closed behind you. You turned around to see the three faces of your friends pressed up against the glass, and Kili gestured for you to keep going. You saw a faint light at the back of the store and wound through the shelves until you reached your favorite little nook. You gasped at what you saw arrayed in front of you as you rounded the corner.
Fili was standing there with a bashful grin. “You were mad I’ve never snuck you into a bookstore before.” He motioned for you to sit down and so you sank into the beanbag next to him, a look of shock on your face as he handed you a mug. “What’s this?” you took a sip and sighed with delight. “Peppermint hot chocolate!” Fili smiled at your blissful expression “I figured we could just stay here tonight, maybe read to each other.” You blushed at his thoughtfulness in knowing that this would be your perfect first date. There was nothing more magical than books and a peppermint drink. “That sounds wonderful, Fee. Thank you.” You snuggled up close to him with your hot cocoa warming your hands, his arm wrapped around you as he began reading. You recognized the first sentence as the beginning of your favorite book when you were little, and you contentedly rested your head on his chest as his voice rose and fell with the story. “I love you, Fili,” you murmured. “I love you too, Y/N.” He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and continued to read as you sighed in content, knowing there was no place you would rather be.
Everything tag💗: @entishramblings @boyruins @itgetsatadhazy @anjhope1
#maiawrites#fili#fili x reader#fili x you#fili x y/n#lotr#the hobbit#modern au#lord of the rings#fili imagine#fili one shot#fili fanfic#fili fanfiction#the hobbit fanfiction#the hobbit fili#the hobbit fanfic#the hobbit fic#fili oneshot#fili drabble#fili story#fili and kili#legolas#bain#kili#jrr tolkien
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Hunting For Some Buried Story — Thoughts on: Ransom of the Seven Ships (RAN)
Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU
Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.
Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Like with all of the Odd Games, there will be a section between The Intro and The Title called The Weird Stuff, where I go into what makes this game stand out as a little strange.
If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.
These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: RAN; STFD; mention of FIN; GTH; mention of SPY.
The Intro:
We’re two-thirds of the way through the meta series officially (yay for meta #20!), and what a way to cap off that marker: with the last of the Odd Games.
And my land, how Odd it is. And that’s ignoring that in August of 2020, this game was very quietly discontinued — speculated to be because of the…well, pseudo-brownface in the game.
Oh yeah, we’re starting with that little bomb.
Before we truly begin, however, let me state one fact: the controversies over this game do not make it any more interesting, unfortunately. I don’t know how a game can be both this objectively bad and this objectively boring as a mystery, but RAN is an example of many, many impossible feats in the video game industry (boring yet bad, controversial yet uninteresting, finicky yet sluggish in controls, so it might as well begin as it means to go on.
I’m also stating here for the record that I’m not really going to focus on the social aspect of this game; it’s always been out of the scope of these metas to focus on current events or social issues, and race is such a hot button issue that no matter what anyone says, someone gets mad. Besides that, it’s really not an interesting tack to take with this meta, not when there’s so many things to talk about regarding RAN as a game and/or as a mystery. If you came into this meta expecting a breakdown as it relates to any social issues, this might not be the meta for you.
If you came for a beat-down on RAN, however, you’re in the right place. Get comfy.
Ransom of the Seven Ships had all the pieces in place to make it a great game; we’ve got Bess and George in the (weird, plasticky) flesh, a fascinating and beautiful location, a historical background based in Spanish exploration, the Age of Piracy, and treasure hunting…all of these are great, honestly, and it’s part of what makes RAN so offensively bad — it could have been really great.
Instead of a wonderful game based around pirate treasure, however, Nancy plays games with monkeys, drives on the world’s slowest golf cart, and trusts the only other person on the entire freaking island when he says he didn’t kidnap her friend. Even though he is the ONLY OTHER PERSON ON THE FREAKING ISLAND.
This game is based off of a Nancy Drew mystery entitled “The Broken Anchor”, which actually is fairly close to the plot of the game — the girls win a contest (though in this case it’s one they didn’t even enter) to go to the Bahamas, Nancy arrives (with Carson) and can’t contact Bess or George, there’s a mysterious treasure, etc. etc. In part, I think, RAN’s problems come from following the book too closely, as there’s really very little to the plot of the book. Game plots necessarily have to have a little more meat to them, as you can’t spend the whole time with Nancy pontificating on the scenery or food (as she is wont to do), and RAN is missing a lot of meat.
Specifically, the meat that it’s missing is any suspects at all. Like I said, there’s only one other person (other than Nancy, Bess, and George) on the island, and it’s ‘Johnny Rolle’ — a self-professed fisherman and loner who’s boat has been wrecked by the monkeys.
There are way too many effing monkeys in this game, side note. How I wish the monkeys were a side note.
Nancy, despite her normal M.O when a kidnapping of a friend has taken place, just kinda rolls with his story and accepts it, digging pointless holes in the sand while he definitely has Bess trapped. And then there’s the weirdness with the monkeys trying to kill her as she scales a sheer cliff wall.
Honestly, if I go any more into it, I’m just going to end up tearing it apart piece by piece, and that’s for the Fix section. So let’s move on to the specific things that make this game truly the capstone of the Odd Games.
The Weird Stuff:
This game is, first and foremost, a story about personal revenge — or, at least, that’s the big takeaway, no matter what HER actually intended for it to be about. After being busted by Nancy (and Lillian, and Ralph, but he apparently doesn’t care about them), Dwayne sat in prison stewing over his ignominious defeat at the hands of a teenaged sleuth until he heard about the supposed treasure on Dread Isle. His greed for the treasure combined with his hatred of Nancy began to fester together, culminating in a slightly complex but ultimately stupid plan to get both money and revenge.
This is a motivation unlike any we’ve encountered. Sure, a handful of Nancy Drew villains have sworn their revenge on Nancy (most notably at this point in the series Helena from VEN), but no one has actually done it — until Dwayne.
This should have made the whole game feel intensely personal — and indeed, bringing back tokens and things from Nancy’s past cases and locations should have built to that. However, the game never really comes to a fever pitch of a feeling of someone is watching Nancy and actively hates her, even though it makes a few attempts. More than any other game, Nancy should have been scared here — and it’s odd that she isn’t.
The second odd thing here is the returning villain. I don’t think this is a bad thing at all — I love the idea of a returning villain — but I do think it was a mistake to pick Dwayne Powers. At this point in the series, STFD was hardly a well-known game, and was generally unplayable due to technological advances.
Yes, later STFD would get a bit of a sprucing up and become playable again (and this game, funnily enough, would be relegated to the ‘unplayable’ pile — Dwayne never can win, I guess), but that didn’t matter at the time that RAN was coming out.
There were several better choices — VEN’s Helena, SHA’s Shorty, DOG’s Emily (who had already received a mention recently in DAN) — so why go with Dwayne? Did they pick him on purpose because no one would suspect (or rather, remember) him? Was he the most obscure villain they could think of? Mitch Dillon (who never appeared really) from SCK would have been an equally obscure but somehow more frightening choice. I’m really at a loss to figure out why they chose Dwayne, of all people.
The third thing that makes this game odd is the lack of suspects. Sure, they give a hat-tip to the Gibsons perhaps being hidden on the island (which, let’s just say, they shouldn’t have — never use as a red herring something that would have made the game so much better), but Dwayne/Johnny really is the only suspect.
I have no idea if they were rushed, if they thought that his different identities counted as extra suspects, or if they just wanted to try something different with this game, but it in no way worked. It’s so mind-bogglingly simple to figure out who kidnapped Bess that it makes Nancy look like she’s quite a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
The last Odd thing that I’ll hang on is how incredibly out-of-character Nancy is in this game. We’ve only seen Nancy work kidnapping (or supposed kidnapping) cases a few times in the series as a whole — FIN’s Maya, RAN’s Bess, and GTH’s Jessalyn — but in both FIN and GTH Nancy takes them very seriously, being harsher and more impatient with less time for people’s lies and stories than she usually is, and really feeling the pressure of the clock.
It makes sense; even discounting the Missing Mom trauma that sits deep within Nancy, the first 48 hours of a kidnapping are basically the only window that she has, statistically speaking, to find the victim still alive and okay. She nearly flies off the handle at the suspects in FIN, and digs uncomfortably deep even at very touchy subjects in GTH.
It then stands to reason that, with FIN in the past and GTH in the future, that Nancy would react similarly in this case. Bess is one of Nancy’s best friends, and the friend that we’re shown most often (think of the flashback in SPY; Bess is the one who comes over after Kate and Carson’s fight) around Nancy, like in CRY.
You’d think that, in the face of Bess’ unambiguous kidnapping, that Nancy would be raising hell — contacting anyone she could, taking no prisoners, ripping Dwayne’s tarp down, turning the island upside down, etc. — but instead, she’s calm, almost relaxed, spending time playing games with monkeys and driving aimlessly around the island.
It honestly makes no sense that she’s like this. This is one of a small handful of games where Nancy is deeply, personally invested, where she has a quick running clock, and where the stakes are deadly yet somewhat unknown.
Nancy comes into this with no background, no contacts, no ability to really look things up, and no help — George’s meager efforts do not count — and yet she acts like there are really no stakes. It doesn’t make me dislike her, it doesn’t make me fold that into her characterization — it just makes me say “wow, the writing is really bad here, huh”.
The Title:
Ransom of the Seven Ships is an amazing title; there’s really no getting around this fact. And for the bare bones of the game, it’s more than a suitable title. You’ve got the word ‘ransom’ doing double duty — meaning both treasure and the price to return someone who’s been kidnapped — you’ve got the ships indicating pirate treasure, and that also tells us we’re probably on an island.
Honestly, this is a far better title than this game really deserved (which is half the reason for this meta: turning the game into something that deserves its title). It’s certainly far better than “The Broken Anchor”, its source material, while keeping a pirate-y nature about it. While it’s a little different than most Nancy Drew games’ titles have been up to this point — as they’re usually “The (Adjective) Noun of Location” or “The Adjective Noun”, that’s not a bad thing at all.
This title really does make me sad with how wonderful it is. It deserved so much better. Same with Ship of Shadows, which is also boss.
The Mystery:
Having won an all-expense paid vacation to Dread Isle in the Bahamas (which should have been their first clue that something hinky was afoot), Bess invites Nancy and George along with her. Nancy arrives the day after the cousins, having stayed for a later flight because of a prior engagement with Carson, and is greeted by a frantic George who tells her that Bess has been kidnapped, that the owners of the resort – the Gibsons — aren’t there, and that she’s been worried sick.
Nancy, naturally, senses something Amiss, and sets off to explore the islands, beginning from the pink sand beach where Bess’ water powered golf cart (yes, I know) is still sitting. She discovers Bess’ shoe next to the only other person on the island — a fisherman named Johnny Rolle from Jamaica — and sets off to explore the rest of the island.
Along the way she finds notes from Bess’ kidnappers, instructions on digging for treasure, twisting island paths, and monkeys. So many friggin monkeys. All of whom Nancy must appease in order to progress in her hunt for one of her oldest friends.
Yeah.
As a mystery…well, what is there really to say about the mystery? It should have been over the second Nancy found Bess’ shoe right outside Dwayne’s camp where a Suspicious Tarp Just Big Enough To Hide the Body of a Young Adult was hanging. An intelligent way to draw it out would be to have Nancy discover Bess there, but for Dwayne to pull a fast one on her and trap her below…but this isn’t the fix section, so let’s just move on past that.
If you weren’t going to add in any new characters or suspects, it might be best to have this game flip from a whodunnit to a howdunnit/howcatchem after the first third; as it is (aka since I’m going to add far more characters in The Fix section), we’ll move right along to the suspect in question himself.
The Suspects:
Yes, I know that this part should just be “The Suspect”.
Believe me, I know.
Wearing a whole cornucopia of masks, Johnny Rolle — aka John E. Poole — is an Australian accountant, hiding from ‘bad clients’ by painting himself brown and adopting a horrible (and horribly stereotypical) Jamaican accent. Nancy discovers his ‘true’ identity by finding an ID with his name on it while he’s still in the ‘Johnny’ disguise. Of course, this ‘true identity’ isn’t his true identity as all…
Dwayne Powers —aka Owen W. Spayder — is sitting underneath the bad wig, bandana, brownface, and horrible accents, and is voiced in this go-around by HER’s chameleon of many voices, good ol’ JVS. After hearing about Dread Isle’s rumors of treasure and their monkey research lab shutting down from a volunteer at his prison (yes, we’re already way too complicated for this game), Dwayne started planning to get the treasure and get revenge on Nancy at the same time.
As the culprit…man is Dwayne horrible. He’s so stupid that it really kills me that Nancy actually falls for his act, because it makes her even stupider. It’s not a good plan, it’s not well thought out, it’s not even a complete plan — it relies on too many unknowables. What if Nancy and George had just stormed his camp and found Bess? What if Nancy figured out it was him? Like, I know Dwayne is an egotist, but this is just dumb.
Before I eviscerate any more, let’s just move on to the few good things in this game.
The Favorite:
The best thing about RAN (other than its music, which as always is super good) is honestly its location. Dread Isle is beautifully and uniquely rendered, and doesn’t look like any other game with the pink-sand beaches, beautiful horizon line, and foliage all befitting a Bahamian resort.
I also like the idea of a returning culprit; while it wasn’t handled well here, I do think it’s a great idea as quite a few culprits have promised revenge on Nancy at the end of their games. Do I think it would have been better if it was Helena, who promised revenge only 2 games ago, rather than going back 18 games to a game that most hadn’t played due to lack of availability? Of course; but the idea behind it was sound.
I don’t have a favorite puzzle or favorite moment; even Dwayne’s dramatic reveal is ruined by the fact that Nancy is at all surprised that he was wearing a disguise and, once again, that the only other person on the island was responsible for kidnapping her friend.
The Un-Favorite:
As far as this section goes…there’s a lot that I don’t like, but there are a few things that stand out more than the rest as truly un-favorite.
My least favorite thing about this game, as you might be able to guess, is that it makes Nancy seem so stupid. We’ve had 19 games of Nancy (mostly; this meta series does go over the exceptions) figuring out clues, chasing bad guys, and solving puzzles without breaking a sweat, and then for this game she’s fooled by some makeup, a wig, and a bad accent? At least in STFD Dwayne put some effort into his work; this is just sad, and it’s even sadder that Nancy falls for it.
My least favorite moment in the game is probably the first conversation with ‘Johnny’. Nancy finds Bess’ shoe, gets strung up in a trap, and then believes that the guy sitting a few feet away is innocent and telling the truth? It’s a moment that truly sets up what a crap shoot this game is about to become, and that alone is enough to make it my least favorite.
My least favorite puzzle is anything to do with the monkeys; playing games with them, scaling the cliff, talking to them, talking about them — literally anything. I don’t like monkeys on a good day, but to have so many puzzles in the game revolve around playing their stupid little games with them? Not a good thing at all. Especially since getting around the island (and, of course, the monkeys live quite far away from anything else on the island) is so aggravatingly slow and clunky — it makes everything feel like a total slog.
The Fix:
So how would I fix Ransom of the Seven Ships?
My gosh, just remake the game.
More seriously, there are quite a few things that I would do in order to make playing through RAN a little more enjoyable and a lot more story-driven (and in line with Nancy and George’s characters). As always, I’m trying to keep this as close to the actual game as possible with few or no huge changes, so Dwayne will still be our culprit, Bess will still have won his giveaway, and Dread Isle will still be the spot of El Toro’s treasure.
The first thing I would do is get rid of Dwayne’s brownface/first disguise, and have him be the Australian accountant named John E. Poole, running from Bad News clients who he didn’t allow to cheat come tax day. That sets him up as a good guy to begin with (if a little foolish to cross such powerful clients), and gives a reason why he’s not staying at the resort (he’s trying to hide and not leave a paper/money trail at the same time). He should be staying in a little homemade hut, not with a Suspicious Tarp Obviously Hiding Bess, as he would have had to been on the island for a while to perfect his disguise (and seem trustworthy to the people at the resort).
I would also have the game take place on Nancy’s 19th birthday; if we assume she was barely 18 at the time of STFD, that makes it about a year that he would have been plotting and escaping and setting up this contest and such. It also makes sense as to why Nancy would have a banquet-thing with Carson and why Bess invited her and George — it’s a fabulous birthday party trip, even for the well-off Nancy Drew. That would also add to her anger — this was a great present that Bess (and George) gave her, and Dwayne has just straight-up ruined it.
Another change that would help the atmosphere is to have at least half the game take place at night. I would have the game take place over roughly two days — it ends the night of the second day — so that you can see the island at night. A lot of the demands made by ‘the kidnappers’ should be done at night — treasure digging, in particular — so as to not be more disruptive to the island than a missing persons case would already be.
Of course, one of the biggest things to do would be to add more suspects.
The Gibsons — both of them — should definitely be there at the resort. I’d have one half of the couple be in the resort during the day, and the other at night, so Nancy can interact with them both differently and have different tasks/discussions with them. Perhaps Mrs. Gibson is an expert on the island’s ‘lore’ — El Toro’s treasure and stuff — while Mr. Gibson is more up on island life and is the law enforcement liaison for the island (who can effectively deputize Nancy to help with the search for Bess).
I would also add one other guest who was supposed to check out right before the first note from the kidnappers came in, and is now stuck on the island until the case is solved. What I’d probably do is make them a Secret Australian (to contrast with Dwayne’s fake Australian accent) — sporting an English accent due to a posh upbringing and studying in England for most of their school life, living in England somewhere (maybe near Blackmoor Manor for a cool Easter egg) — who is Very Grumpy about this and thinks Bess ran off to explore and just got lost. I’d probably make them unhelpful to the last — even when Bess is found and had definitely been kidnapped, to just shrug it off and to board the plane to get home as quickly as possible.
The last person I’d add in is someone working the desk — specifically, an older teenager who is very cagey about themselves and how they know what they know, but who seems to know a lot more than they let on. This person would, of course, end up being a member of ATAC, and once Nancy figures it out, would be able to connect you with help from the Hardy Boys. This ATAC member would be scoping out the Gibsons for evidence of getting guests under false pretenses, but would ultimately change their suspicions to Dwayne and help Nancy and George catch him. Through this ATAC teen, the Hardy Boys could use outside information to give Nancy information about monkeys, the island, treasure, El Toro, and anything else that she encounters, as well as spread their feelers out about the Gibsons, the other guest, and John E. Poole.
I would of course want to improve the tone, which would be helped by having more people on the island — Nancy should feel scared that Bess disappeared with this many people around, and it should feel personal. As the game goes on, even with the added help, the walls should feel like they’re closing in. I would include way more second chances, traps, threatening notes, maybe even recordings of Bess screaming or scared or in pain — something that might push the rating to E+ because, quite frankly, the situation calls for it.
Mechanically, I would put way less focus on the monkeys; they really shouldn’t control everything on the island. Keeping them for a minigame and location is cool, but they definitely shouldn’t have their place of prominence in the game.
I would also remove the fact that you can control George. Out of all the games where I think controlling people other than Nancy would be great, this is not one of them. As worried as Nancy should be, this is George’s cousin — practically her sister, from how close their families are and how much time they spend together — and George would probably be in a State. Sure, she can help with some of the tech stuff, but the player definitely shouldn’t be playing as her in this game. It just feels forced, and it’s not necessary.
Would these changes make RAN a fantastic, award-winning game? No, honestly, they wouldn’t. In order to do that, you’d probably have to scrap the game entirely and start over with even barer bones. But I do think it would help to make it at least better and more playable, and I think that’s a win. Let RAN be remembered for its returning villain and its kidnapping plot, not for being the game that everyone skips during a replay of the series.
#nancy drew#clue crew#nancy drew games#ransom of the seven ships#nancy drew meta#RAN#video games#long post#my meta
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Reactions on Jungles Cruise the Movie!!!
Spoilers!!!!!
Spoilers!!!!!
Tears of healing???? Rapunzel is that you?
Wait is Disney mixing up their movies again? Or did they see the Healing Flower of the Sun and go sure people loved that let’s use that again!
So basically the Fountain of Youth?
So Conquistadors being Conquistadors?
I’m guessing guy in purple is the bad guy?
Yep definitely the villain.
😂 fare please 😂
Prince? Prince of what?
Whoa this guy just got homicidal over his name.
Ahhh the mighty jungle!
Ahh yes let’s bring our kids on the cheapest jungle cruise money can buy! I’m sure it’s safe!
Dude Move! If your that worried about being impaled then move!!!
The Dad Jokes! They brought the Jungle Cruise dad jokes to the film! And the jungle Cruise props animals!
Not only the cheapest but the most traumatizing!
The also brought over the back side of water jokes!!!
Cue Title Card!
Time for the Mistaken Identity dance!
CGI Jaguar ignoring at the easy fresh targets for the main characters trope.
I’m gonna bet that Prince in a purple suit that speaks German is behind the CGI Jaguar?
Ahhh it’s Frank’s CGI Jaguar reeling in new customers for Frank!
😂😂😂😂 Man has more luggage then his sister.
Brother also dropping the ball on keeping his sister safe.
The local salvaging brother dearest luggage - probably to sell.
Ok so we have Frank, Lilly, Lilly’s Brother, and Possibly German Prince yeah?
Leave the monkeys the monkeys are fine - Frank
She was on a roll Frank - she was on a roll.
I’m putting my money down on the fact Lilly can’t swim.
Poor Lilly can’t catch a break.
Called It!
Also check your person, make sure you still have the token necklace.
Wait is German dude a Nazi? What year is the movie set in again?
Is a submarine in the Amazon River possible?
So does Franks Jaguar live in the boats engine house? If so is he ok?
Technically Mr. Nino this isn’t Frank’s fault more like Lilly’s fault and that German dude?
Exactly!
Also it was sweet of Frank to include the brother in the hug.
Frank Finally found someone who found his jokes funny.
Maybe don’t put your fancy camera right there - it’s just asking to accidentally lose it in the Amazon river.
Skippy!
Piranha Dinner!
I feel like Franks gonna try to steal the arrowhead!
They were having a moment until it was broken by Frank’s Jaguar.
So would Lilly be the Rapunzle of this movie (both blonde, both be named after flowers/plants, both are linked to a magical flower?) if yes does that mean she becomes the flower?
So if Lilly is Rapunzel does that make Frank Flynn Ryder? And German Dude Mother Gothel?
Some one is cranky after their nap/death.
I feel like the Medusa Conquistador hybrid is gonna betray Nazi Dude.
So did Lilly have a prophetic dream/nightmare or did her nightmare just lined up perfectly with that jump scare?
Yep called it Frank wants the Arrow Head.
Poor Lily
Poor Jaguar got a hangover
Now everyone is sick except Frank
😂😂😂 the Log scene
Spy Snake! The best spy to use in the Amazon
Awww did Frank install kitty doors for his Jaguar?
Frank likes Motocars?
Is that Disney’s way of saying Brother is gay? Without saying gay and alienating certain audience?
Poor Lilly realizes Frank is shady?
Onion of Deceit
Uh oh tribal people - just when Frank and Lilly were making headway into their relationship
Ooh Fancy! Now I want a cool moving throne!
Brother may be a dandy but he’s got a punch to him!
Trader Sam is Back!
Brother Dearest knows his baby sister (is she baby sister?)
Well that’s convenient.
Why do I think Lilly needs to do a ultimate sacrifice?
Poor Trader Sam is stuck in between a lovers quarrel and she looks like she rather be anywhere but there.
Ahhh the snakes are back!
The heck? The heck!
Not just the snakes! But the Medusa Conquistador is also back!!!!
Wait? Was there a conquistador buried in the back of that throne?
So we have Medusa Conquistador? Throne/tree Conquistador? Honey Bee Conquistador? Mud (???) Conquistador?
Now they gotta find the Moon Tears so Lilly can pull a Rapunzel and save Frank
Ahhh the good ol River ex macia
Sooo…kind of like the curse in the first Pirates of the Caribbean Movie?
So wait? Is Frank Also immortal? Is that why he never returned home?
He Is!
Even the kids come to watch! 😂😂😂
This must be a normal occurrence for Frank!
Didn’t Trader Sam tell Lilly to stay away from the river??? Why did she go back to the river?
Poor Big Brother trying to shield young eyes only to faint himself.
Again isn’t this the plot of Rapunzel except instead of a sick wife it’s a sick daughter?
A chant! Just like Rapunzel hair!
Rock music appropriate.
And no one noticed Frank was never aging?
Poor Trader Sam stuck with Big Brother!
😂😂😂 Trader Sam just bailed! Can’t say I blame her!
They really should have brought brother with them!
Ahhh romance! Only took removing a blade from his heart to jump start it!
But not moving picture! Or automobiles!
And you don’t think Honey Bee Conquistador won’t end up noticing he’s a few bees short?
Wearing White Underclothes to go swimming in! I hope you don’t mind the male gaze
Well that was a quick swim lesson - so much for being afraid.
They kiss? Odd time to be doing that? Or is that a way to give her oxygen?
Technically “We” Frank.
Just accept her proposal Frank.
Ok Ok fine I get his reasoning.
Uh Oh
Welp the rest of Conquistadors are a coming!
And they will (hopefully) kill this German prince.
Ok so the brother is the baby brother?
So what’s with the singing? To freak them out? Cause I’ll admit it making me nervous.
Pretty.
But only Frank knows the chant. The chant is still important right? To make the petal work?
German Prince is impressed by Lilly
Where your Jaguar Frank. I feel like she would be really useful about now.
There she is!
Murder Cat!
She Got petal!
Here Comes The Conquistadors!
Go Frank Go!
How is that Dude still Alive?
Oops.
Oh hey now we got Wizard of Oz!
Frank we barely knew you
Ok Lilly go pull a Rapunzel and save Frank now.
What No Chant?
Lilly? How about True Love Kiss? You didn’t try that yet?
Oh! Petal worked without the chant!
Baby Brother approves of this union!
Frank should definitely bring back his Jaguar with him to London!
Magic? Sure these old men can accept that. Lady Chief? Gasp!
Women in the gallery! Heck Yes! Go Dr. Lilly!
So no more illness? They have cured every disease known to man with one petal?
#jungle cruise#jungle cruise spoilers#disney#disney+#emily blunt#dwaynetherockjohnson#dwayne johnson
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Hi! I just saw a set of pics of Rosalie Leslie and Kit Harington, him kissing her with his hands cradling her face while they were in a pub, i suppose (idk how to send them to you tho). I was wondering if you like the idea, obviously, could you use those pics as inspiration for a hinny fic? Something about the press finding out that they are, in fact, together after a year or two of speculations, maybe? Thank you either way! Can’t wait for more of your works! Stay safe!
Without Fear
Such a fun prompt! I just couldn’t deny the cuteness of this photo when I Googled it! I hope you like my hinny take on the cuteness :) It’s a Muggle, Actor AU and the title is based on the song Without Fear by Dermot Kennedy
Also read on: FF.net and AO3
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He hadn't ever considered how easy it would be to fall in love with Ginny Weasley. But of course, Harry was more of a jump in feet first kind of bloke. When he'd seen her at that war memorial, the only thought that went through his head was how gorgeous she was. Then when she had come up to the same placard and started talking to him… well, needless to say, he was enamored by her. Her hair, eyes, voice, the words she said. It was safe to say Ginny Weasley had his heart the minute they met.
At first, she didn't tell him her name (later, she explained it was because she didn't want him to get washed up by the fact that she was the main actress on a sports TV drama). To be fair, Harry hadn't exactly been forthcoming with his name (he hated dealing with the press when they recognized him for his role as the infamous serial killer hunter of the movies). Even without names, they chatted like they'd known each other since birth.
Ginny had explained how her brother had died fighting to save a young boy who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Harry had pointed to the name of the godfather he'd barely gotten the chance to know. He'd comforted her and she had started to soothe a bone-deep pain in him that he hadn't even known was there. Which was why they had decided to go and get coffee. Neither wanted to leave the other.
The little coffee shop had allowed them seclusion and solitude. They'd talked for hours and only separated when the shop was closing. As they were standing up to leave, Harry helped Ginny into her coat, and when she turned around with that adorable smile Harry, couldn't help but press his lips to hers. It wasn't a long kiss, maybe two seconds at most, but the moment their lips touched a buzz spread through Harry's body from the top of his head down to his toes. What made it that much better was when he pulled back, Ginny's fingers slid into his hair and pulled him back to her.
That night started the happiest time of his life. Ginny brought out a side of life that Harry hadn't experienced before. Normally, things were complicated in his life. Between losing his parents and godfather before turning eighteen, dodging the press, fangirls, and family members that never gave a damn about him until he earned some money, Harry had never expected much out of life or people. Then Ginny Weasley changed everything.
She made love seem so… easy. He was able to be himself near her. She laughed at his horrible puns, teased him for his inability to say cinnamon, and held him close every time he needed her. It was simple and it was them. They spent every night they could together. Luckily both their jobs were situated in London so meeting at his or her flat was easy.
The only mark against their relationship was the paparazzi. Early on in their relationship, they'd agreed that they didn't want the whole world to know about their relationship. But of course, it was impossible to completely dodge the leeches that the rest of the world called the press. They were spotted on their way to an England versus Wales rugby match. To be fair, their low riding caps weren't the best disguise, but they'd hoped to at least make it to the field before being noticed. From that day on the Harry and Ginny watch became a crowd favorite. It became nearly impossible for them to go anywhere together without making the news, and that was when the reporters only knew about their platonic relationship! He feared the day they found out the two of them were dating… and now dating for over a year, in fact.
He could remember the way Ginny had laughed the time they had been spotted going to the zoo. While eating breakfast, Ginny had been flicking through her tablet at the different new sites she frequented when she had nearly choked on her toast. Harry had looked up from his bowl of Shreddies instantly concerned, to only be greeted by her laughter "Look at this title!" Ginny had said through her cackles. "Potter Bananas For Weasley."
The accompanying photo of them watching a group of monkeys was expertly taken. Somehow they'd caught Harry watching Ginny as she watched the monkeys. She read the article out loud to him, teasing him for the title the paper had given him, "Heart-eyed Harry is rather adorable."
"There is no way they can see that from that angle." Harry had rolled his eyes, his words coming out in a huff of air. "I mean sure, you and I both know that I'm pathetically... besotted with you, but that interloper can't tell —"
When Ginny's palms came around to cup his cheeks his tangent ended, his words being swallowed by her mouth. Ginny had kissed him like the world was ending, a reckless abandonment that left his kitchen chair on only three legs. When she pulled back, her hands held his face firmly in place. "I'm besotted with you too, you know that right?"
Harry's mind had been wiped clean by her hypnotizing kiss, but he's managed a little nod. "I know, love."
"So don't let this get under your skin." She'd pressed a final kiss to the tip of his nose before going back to her reading.
That had been four months ago and sometimes it still popped into Harry's mind. It had been so easy for her to bring him out of the brooding tyrant. No one else in his life had ever been able to do that. Not his heinous aunt that raised him, not his godfather who was there briefly in his teen years, none of his teachers or friends during his school year. No, it was the one and only Ginny Weasley that was able to pull Harry from one of his moods.
Harry never thought he was capable of love. Between his parents being murdered by a psychopath before his second birthday, an abusive aunt and uncle, losing his godfather to war only three years after meeting him… Harry had always thought he was stunted. His first relationship had ended before it had even started and the next five attempts weren't much better. But with Ginny, his normal anxieties and fears vanished. He became a better man while with her. She was the best part of him and he loved her with every fiber of his being
And because he loved her, Harry was willing to put on this damn monkey suit and go to a blasted party. His reflection in the mirror showed his disdain for the confining suit and dark green noose he tied around his neck. If he had it his way, Harry would never change out of his ratty old jeans and soft t-shirts. But for Ginny, he was willing to sacrifice a night. Tonight was about her and the unforgettable season they had just finished recording.
"Looking rather dashing there, Potter."
Harry used the mirror to look at the doorway where Ginny leaned against the jamb. She had changed into a simple, yet elegant knee-length black dress with a light white jacket covering her freckled shoulders The little make-up she'd used highlighted her natural beauty perfectly. And then there was the wide-brimmed hat she used to complete the ensemble. She was bloody gorgeous.
She was smirking at him as if she knew exactly how just the sight of her made him lose all conscious thought. "Cat got your tongue?"
He shook his head, before doing a one-eighty to see more than just the reflection of her. Somehow she was even more stunning like this. From the high heeled boots she wore to the top of the hat perched on her head… His legs moved on their own accord. Before he even realized it, he was standing in front of her.
"You look… too good for words," Harry murmured into her ear as he leaned down. His fingers slid across the silky material covering her salacious curves as his lips traveled down her jaw line. Before he reached his destination (her mouth), Ginny put a hand on his chest pushing him back.
"Whoa now, partner." She smiled at him, her eyes blazing with the same intensity of a smoldering fire. "No getting distracted. We can't be late. Everyone is expecting me and my best friend there for eight."
Harry let out a long breath through his nose. Best friend. That's what Ginny's co-stars had dubbed him. It irked him that they were right, but yet so far from the truth. Of course, most thought they were best friends with benefits, which again wasn't wrong but he and Ginny were so much more!
Sometimes, Harry wanted to scream how much he loved her from the rooftops. He wanted everyone within the United Kingdom to know how he was in love with the most witty, sexy, creative, intelligent woman in the world. But then he thought of how the press already followed them around everywhere they went. Harry could only imagine how insane they would be if they knew about their relationship, and the idea of people digging into their personal lives… Harry honestly was afraid of it.
He hardly handled the fame he had now, if there was more focus on them… Sure, they already dealt with reporters implying about their relationship, but it was easy to ignore because they were typically outlandish rumors. Like the idea Ginny was sleeping with Harry so she could slyly learn to cover up a murder based on the information he learned in his movies (which was Ginny's favorite scandal theory). But if the paparazzi knew about their love life… if things became real… it was odd to say, but the idea of it weighed heavy on his chest. He feared the loss of privacy. He feared the loss of them.
"Harry?" Ginny was staring at him, her brow scrunched in concern. "Everything alright?"
He nodded, trying to dig his mind out of the what-if chasm. "Yeah. Yeah."
"What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, you know." Harry forced a smile onto his face. "How you're going to be the talk of the party in this outfit."
Ginny snorted, as she gave her hair an exaggerated flip "Please, I'm all these people ever seem to talk about." A sly grin formed on her lips. "Me and who my boo might be."
Harry groaned, letting his head fall onto her shoulder. "It's been three months and they are still on that?"
Ginny chuckled as her hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. "Please, they heard us shagging in a locked closet, they aren't bound to forget it. We're just lucky I didn't say your name while those nosy Nellies were listening in on us." Her hand stopped and Harry looked up to see that mischievous smile that always made his belly flutter. "Really, you only have yourself to blame."
Harry's brow furrowed. "And how exactly is it my fault?"
"Wellllll," Ginny dragged out the last syllable. "If you hadn't come to my set looking so… fit and sexy after that workout, I wouldn't have had to drag you to that closet." She rose to the tips of her toes, placing her lips right outside of her ear. "Remember?"
The shiver that ran down Harry's spine spread a tingling sensation from his toes up to the tips of his fingers. He licked his lips, inhaling her scent with every breath he took. "Hmmm." The words came out as a soft groan. He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. "Maybe I could use a little refresher. Care to help give me a little reminder?"
Ginny practically purred in his ear. "I think that can be arranged." She ran her tongue lightly along his jaw before placing a kiss just under his ear. Then before Harry knew what happened she was out of his arms, standing just out of his grasp. "After the party."
Harry's jaw fell open as he stared at his girlfriend. "You're sadistic, that's what you are!"
She laughed. "And you adore me for it."
"I never said that." But the smile spreading across his face removed all the bite from his words.
"Your eyes speak volumes."
"Oh, and what are they saying right now?"
Ginny's grin became coquettish. "How you need a little extra time to get ready because something needs tending too." Her eyes raked down his body, lingering around his hips. "Then again it might not be your eyes displaying this information."
Harry made a face at her. "Well really, you only have yourself to blame for this."
She snorted. "Is that so?" She took a step back into his bubble, her hands running along his sides. "Well if that's the case I should give you a hand, shouldn't I?"
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Harry glared from his sentry at the corner of the bar. He'd spent the last fifteen minutes crafting a list on why he hated parties. Currently, he was on number twenty: drunk people were the worst.
Maybe his disapproving opinion was due to the numerous drunk men (and women) who had gone up to his girlfriend to make moves on her. His jaw clenched painfully as he watched yet another co-star approach Ginny. Sure she was denying their advances with ease, but that didn't mean Harry liked it. But they'd agreed a long time ago that when they went to events they would try to mingle with others so as to not raise suspicions about their relationship.
But everytime Harry was faced with watching hoards of people flirt with his girlfriend… Why the fuck did he care if people knew about their relationship? Sure paparazzi would follow them around, but they all ready fucking did that. And they would ask personal questions about their relationship, but half the time they just threw out wild accusations as it was.
Harry took another sip from his whiskey tumblr, the cold liquid going hot down his throat. His foot started tapping to the rhythm of the classic rock song blaring on the radio. As he stood their listening to overplayed tune, sipping his drink, and watching his girlfriend be hit on for the sixth time in twenty minutes, Harry concluded they had been stupid. Their fear of the press was unwarranted. They had feared things that weren't truly scary. They dealt with most of it already (just in rumor format), so what would the truth truly do to them? What had been cons just hours before suddenly took a new light.
As he brooded, Ginny chatted with her co-star. This particular star had been the biggest perpetrator of the flirt with Ginny squad. Every party or gathering he would shoot his shot. Ginny had assured Harry numerous times that Glenn was just a flirty bloke, and there had never been a spark between the two of them. Harry trusted Ginny completely, but Glenn was always on his shit list—and was now currently at the top as he pulled Ginny out into the middle of the pub to start dancing.
Ginny made eye contact with Harry as she followed her friend onto the makeshift dance floor, her smile reassuring and happy as she and Glenn began to dance. The wink she sent him made butterflies erupt in his gut, like it was the first time. Harry couldn't take his eyes of them… off Ginny. She truly was gorgeous when she was having fun. Her bright smile, the gleam in her eyes, and how could he ignore the way her hips moved.
Harry could never remember ever having an urge to dance, but as he saw Ginny and Glenn… It wasn't an urge to dance, he realized. It was the urge to be with her. The desire to have his hands on her waist while she smiled at him.
He let out a long breath, before downing the rest of his drink. He couldn't care anymore. The fears that had held him back for so long became nullified. Now all he cared about was making sure she knew how much he loved her, and that he would be there with her through anything and everything. Harry refused to acknowledge the fear that had formed in the pit of his stomach as he marched up towards his dancing girlfriend and her co-star.
Ginny's eyes met his. When he was about halfway to her, her head quirked to the side and she stopped moving. Glenn spun around, his expression going from confused to annoyed. Harry could muster up a single fuck over Glenn's disappointment.
"What's up, Potter?" Glenn asked, his fake smile sliding to counter his irked tone.
Harry didn't even bother to dignify the actor with a response. Instead all his focus was on Ginny. Her eyebrows were scrunched together as if she were trying to read his mind. He cupped her face, his large hands seeming to swallow her face.
"Harry, what are you doing?" Ginny whispered as she stared up at him. Her hand came up to lift the brim of her hat, giving him full access to study her expression. The light flush that darkened her cheeks in the faint pub light complimented the wide smile that crinkled the corner of her eyes. She looked… overwhelmingly happy.
"I — I just." He leaned down and kissed her, not truly noticing/ caring about the crowds of people around them or flashes of smartphone cameras. All that mattered at that moment was her and the way her arms wrapped around his neck as she leaned into him.
When he pulled away Ginny's mouth remained slightly apart as she slowly opened her eyes. "So." Her voice was deep and husky. "I think you may have just blown our cover."
Harry laughed, leaning down so his forehead rested on hers. "I don't care."
Ginny's fingers caressed his jaw. "And what, pray tell, has made you so without fear? What changed?"
He happily leaned into her touch. "All I care about is being with you. Who cares what all these people think."
A mischievous smirk curled her lips as her eyes twinkled delightfully. "Well then, what would you say about putting on a little show for our first public outing?"
Harry slid his hands up her jaw to twist in her hair, before leaning down. He smiled against her lips. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
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𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: "fuck this, i need a drink." he leaves the circle. he looks at nobody. 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: sean had gotten up and was about to go after craig, but when ellie did, he turned off and went in the other direction instead. sean's pissed at a lot of things, and overall he's really fucking drunk. all he can think is one foot in front of the other but he hears ellie's voice and it sounds like he might be imagining it and if he's not, then he's definitely not doing this right now. so he keeps walking, through a door and round a corner and when he hears paige's voice, he turns to face her whilst taking a couple steps back and pulling cigarettes out of his pocket, pulling one from the pack. "i'm not okay, really, but i'll find you later. i just -" he held his cigarette up, turning again to make his way outside. the cool of the air is refreshing and it sobers him up just enough to sit on the ledge of a fountain and light his cigarette without any risk of falling in and drowning . when he hears a door on the other side of the courtyard-type-area open up he dreads it's someone coming after him, but when it's craig and he's going in the opposite direction towards the cars, he's relieved and concerned and angry and everything in between. 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: craig doesn’t witness sean move to get up and go after him, doesn’t see ellie start to do the same, nor does he witness her going after and then getting blatantly ignored by sean. by then he’s already moving through the house pushing through people at a pace that makes him damn near impossible to keep up with, making his way back to the place where in his out of his mind inebriated state, he last remembers having the keys to his shitty car. he’s got a bottle in one hand while he’s searching around in the trampoline room, and once he finds them it turns into him making a beeline for the nearest door to lead him out of the hollingsworth house. he finds himself crossing the driveway where there’s tons of cars parked, drinking from the mouth of the bottle as he walks. when he gets close enough to the drivers side door of his own vehicle he yeets the bottle he’s holding, watching the glass shatter and the remainder of the booze soak into the ground. he thinks about what a good time he’d been having, how weird he feels now. maybe it’s the come down, maybe it’s the confusing emotions that came from kissing an ex, or being insulted by a best friend’s replacement for him, or just... sitting in that circle with all of those people. either way, craig is ready to go. he fumbles with his keys, dropping them, having to bend down to pick them up, and when he’s in that position he kinda feels like he might puke. he doesn’t, thankfully. 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: sean's annoyed. and angry. on behalf of the past few months of his life, and for everything that happened in the past five minutes. everything he had to witness sat in that circle. it was shitty, and he feels bad for the fact paige came after him and he asked her to go like that. he was just pissed. and he'd been avoiding both ellie and craig for months now to avoid an argument, to avoid a fight, and then one nearly appeared right in front of him. he never asked, or gave permission, for landon to be pissed on his behalf. and it also wasn't okay for craig to have been such a dick towards landon for no reason. but that doesn't mean he suddenly gives zero fucks about craig whatsoever, and when he sees the guy walking towards his car - he knows it's a bad idea. he gets up, throws his barely-burned cigarette into the fountain and pretty much runs over to where craig's bending to get his keys. he almost falls over when bending down, but he steadies himself and reaches out to grab them before craig manages to, managing a "you're not driving" and a half-hiccup before stepping back a few paces, putting some of the distance back between them that had been present since mid december. 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: “dude.” craig complains through half slurred words, “gimback my keys, i’m goin’ home.” he steps forward at the same pace he creates distance, and holds out his hand for them like sean is just going to willingly give them back over. 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: "fuck off," sean says, not with nearly any venom but just distaste at the fact that craig would even think that he'd just hand the keys back over like that. he doesn't like the way that craig is coming forward at the same pace he's going backwards, and it's only when he nearly knocks over an array of flowerpots that he stops. "order an uber." 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: "m'not paying for a fuckin uber! i can drive. gimback my keys!"craig he does his best to try and snatch them right out of sean's hand, not even realizing he's backing him into flowerpots until one teeters and almost topples over. 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: "well it's a long walk, then." sean sounds the most sensible that he has done all night, and he's not sure what brings that out of him. especially where his stupid ex best friend trying to drive whilst drunk pulled him away from the calming cigarette he'd planned to have, which floats in the fountain as they have this stupid argument. he ducks under craig's arm, too drunk to have any sense of balance and hitting his head on his forearm on the way under. but he makes it, and this time he's backing towards the direction they'd just came, definitely not in a straight line. "stop being a baby." 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: craig accidentally smacks sean in the forehead with his arm, "i'm not being a baby! you're bein an asshole!" he lunges for the keys again, grabbing sean by the wrist, trying to pry them out of his hand. he is taller than sean by a notable amount (he thinks anyway bc he's a turd), but sean is definitely stronger, so they're a pretty even match. 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: sean's fist is clenched around the keys, not willing to give them up for no bitch. the audacity of craig to call him the asshole? after sean having to maintain hurt for multiple months and still being there to make sure craig didn't drive whilst this fucked up? ridiculous. he grabs the wrist of criag's hand that's holding sean, moving around swiftly so that his back was to craig's front and pulling his arm down. he just figured craig wouldn't be able to reach over his shoulder and down that far, planning to put space between them again when he's free. "yeah, well, that's me," he concludes, taking ownership of the title. "go catch a bus." 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: craig doesn't hesitate when sean turns around to get away from him, jumping and climbing up onto his back the second he presses it to his front like a damn monkey as he reaches over his shoulder, still trying to fight the keys out of his hand. "dude! c'mon i'm serious, i wanna go h-oh shit!" obviously they topple over. i said craig was toller. he's also heavier, and sean's drunk, so i mean. 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: sean can barely keep himself upright and has absolutely no chance with craig suddenly on top of him. he hadn't anticipated it, and suddenly he's holding the keys underneath his body. which granted - it feels safer there, but he also does not want craig on top of him. he uses his elbows as a weapon, jutting one backwards in effort to get this pain in the ass off of his ass. "you can go home, but you can't -" he pauses here to try and shake craig off. "-can't ride me home so get off my back!" 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: craig is now yeah literally sitting on sean’s ass as he tries to reach underneath his body where he knows he is shielding the keys from his reach, “is that a challenge?” he asks sean, a line that comes to him way too quickly, sneaking a hand underneath him finally but not getting a grip on the keys as desired. instead he accidentally pinches a nipple in the struggle, “shi- sorry..- dude, c’mon!” 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: sean's not sure where the line is, but he's definitely sure they've way surpassed it when he gets nipple injury from this stupidity. "this isn't fucking funny," he warns through gritted teeth. and everything's spinning so slightly and he feels like he's gonna throw up with craig sitting on him like he's a fucking beanbag but somehow he manages to put both hands on the ground below him and push himself up, hoping to knock craig off but unsure if it'll instead result in craig sitting on sean's back like a child playing horsey. 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: “who’s laughing?” craig demands, “fuck!” but suddenly he’s being thrown back and he has to hold on or risk being yeeted, so that’s exactly what he does, just grips onto sean’s shoulders and doesn’t let go, then winds one arm around his thick ass neck, but doesn’t actually apply any pressure, it’s the loosest not chokehold ever. “give. me. the. keys!” 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐧: "it's not gonna happen,"he pushes up onto his knees, trying to get him off. "i'll drop it round yours tomorrow," he offers, not for one second believing that craig deserved this level of kindness but somehow happy to play the role whilst it was here and still easy to slip into. "fucking- just go back in the party," he ordered, just wanting to have his cigarette at this point. and if sean discovered that they were crushed, craig might wanna be long gone for his own safety. 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠: months of rising tension fueled by going so long without speaking has led up to this moment- this ridiculous moment, with craig on sean's back in the middle of the hollingsworth's insanely long driveway, not that far from a smashed bottle of liquor on the ground beside them, screaming at each other because he won't give craig his keys (rightfully, he shouldn't have them). "yeah, yeah okay, alright, okay- 'cept you haven't been to my house in months!" and with that he finally climbs off of him, or rather shoves off of him, coming to his feet. "yknow joey asks me about you every fucking week, at least- sometimes multiple times a fucking week and i have to tell him, 'no joey, i know joey, we all miss sean joey, sean hates my rotten fucking guts joey, sean's never coming over again!'" he is definitely way too fucked up to be having any conversation with sean...- but he definitely shouldn't be steering it in this direction. his eyes are getting glassy, threatening to flood when he speaks, and the words start sounding thicker in his throat. he turns away from him, blinking it all back. "fuck this, i'm just gonna walk." he definitely can't walk from this rich ass neighborhood and expect to get to his house in the burbs, but in that moment, he doesn't care. he just starts walking.
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Why Space Channel 5 is one of SEGA’s best dumbest games ever, no questions asked. (Report 2 cont.)
Here’s ramblings about Report 1 & most of 2: https://huskynator.tumblr.com/post/627109114690109441/why-space-channel-5-is-one-of-segas-best
Report 2 (Cont.): In which I analyse the Morolina boss battle with no point in mind.
So where was I?
youtube
BOSS TIME!
Jaguar (Age 35): The alien mothership is retreating. Don’t you have to follow them, Channel 5? Fuse: Blast you, Jaguar [Age 35].
With the pirates giving chase, Ulala is left with the cowardly alien robot to elegant music.
Ignoring the robot’s title, while silly, its cowardice is its greatest asset. For it has kidnapped some space schoolkids, making their space teacher worry.
Before I start, in-between phases there this chorus, and it’s great, awesome way to prep you to start Chu-ing.
So during Report 1′s Coco Tapioca’s battle, I had trouble describing how it was really all that different from every other battle up until that point. Morolina won’t have that problem because this bot is the toughest cookie so far. Lemme explain why:
Space Channel 5 uses two senses: sight and hearing. During the dance battle when a Morolian says Left, they also move Left. Ergo when they move Right, they have said right. Meaning that if you forgot what they said, you can still save you a lost heart if you remember which way they moved. You can rely on your eyes for a little help, but it is also possible to do it blindfolded.
Not so much during the shoot-outs, because of the hostages. If you play those blinded folded you will fail. You may hear Chu Chu Chu. But you’ll shoot hostages because it was Moro Human Moro. You didn’t see that because you were blindfolded you dingus! You gotta pay attention!
And Morolina is “Pay Attention” the Boss Battle. And I know that’s a good chuck of bosses ever but hear me out.
For its first two phases this is its formula: One or two directions. Pause. Chu Chu Chu.
That doesn’t sound so bad. But you need to use your ears on the directions and your eyes on the Chus.
Its Up and Down movements are straight forward. But its Left and Right commands are a little confusing.
This pose obviously is its Left command. But in motion it looks like the Right command as most of the movement comes from that free tentacle on the right, which while it points Left, it stays on the right side of the body where most of the movement is. Not helped that it doesn’t stay on its poses for long. (Not everyone’s gonna think its moves look reversed in motion but it certainly looks as such to me so I can’t be the only one.) So for that you gotta memorize with your ears.
After the second phase, he start throwing in space school kids into the mix, replacing the Morolians with its Chu Chu Chu. Thankfully, it’s always 3 sets of either Moros or Space Kids it shoves in your face, but that’s still paying attention with your eyes and that happens during the same turn as the paragraph above! It’s a lot for only 5 commands max.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a complaint. This is good game design if intentional. But I have a feeling it’s moreso because its limited by its animation then intentional misdirection. And the way I described how it’s in practice doesn’t happen in this game or the next, it’s a missed opportunity having a character say one command but moving differently.
In short: The unintentional misdirection adds more then in hinders, but you may wanna beware-y because of it.
And then it explodes!
It’s okay.
The next phases begin in zero gravity because the ship’s gravity generated has been damaged... When?
I love and hate this bit, it’s a shoot-out but with a twist. A literal twist. Many of them in fact. In practice, this is more of the same, but it isn’t a strict 3 Chus anymore it can have as many as it has tentacles that aren’t the 3 in front as it feels like.
But that’s not the twist. It still holds up Morolians and Space Kids but it does twists so you don’t have a visual aid of what he was holding during Ulala’s turn. You may forget if its holding Moros or Space Kids. Especially if it’s a short one.
Example: Morolina: (Turns) (Show Moro/Kid) Right Chu (Shows Moro/Kid) Left Chu (Shows Moros/Kids) Up ChuChu. (Retracts Moros/Kids so Ulala can’t see them until it’s time she would’ve shot her guns already.)
This is great stuff. This game adheres to basic game design and it’s great. It takes the simplistic controls and does as many things it can do with those controls to make a fair fight to screw you over.
Despite what it may seem like sometimes with Sonic games, and SEGA’s past failures, their studios can make great games. Even if they’re bad, it’s still clear to me that a lot of their games still had a lot of passion put into it.
I’m not calling Space Channel 5 a bad game for the record. But it’s clear there did went passion into it. I feel like it’s one of the last SEGA IP greats that aren’t Sonic, where they just a had an absurd idea and saw it though to the end. Super Monkey Ball is like that too, Billy Hatcher too but that might not be a good game (I wouldn’t know).
Sorry for that tangent, back to the game where Ulala gets licked.
Morolina kinda had to resort to this. It lost its tentacles because Ulala shot at them. Ulala had it coming.
Luckily Ulala has one hand free with a gun. And I love this section. Just two commands! Up and Chu! Up to roll Ulala out of the tongue as far as she can and Chu to shoot as usual as well as to roll.
You’d be surprised how much mileage you can get out of it.
Also it’s safe to say that it lost both its cowardice and elegance at this point. Shame, I liked the way it danced.
And then it stops anti-climatically. Boom! Status screen:
You saved the space kids and Morolina joins you in Ulala’s strutting. Also the gravity is fixed. When?
I have said that this is probably the most boring report, but wanna take that back. For one it has Jaguar (Age 35) and Morolina, the first true sign of what this game has to offer when pushing its gameplay.
Halfway done. No clue if anyone cares or not, but I know I cares a lot. Me gushing about Report 3 coming sometime in the future.
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I won’t ask for much (but just this once, I’d like you) 2/10
Updates for this’ll probably come every couple of days or so, and I’m already bracing myself for a third wave of edits to come. But here’s the next part, and Sharky, I’m sorry about the skunk, but you were the one to mention it to begin with. ...And the resulting idea was too entertaining to pass up.
Pairing: Sharky Boshaw x John Seed Rating: E (but only for Ch. 10, the rest are a solid T) Word Count: 4.3K
Link to AO3!
Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 3 / Ch. 4 / Ch. 5 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 7 / Ch. 8 / Ch. 9 / Ch. 10
—
Sharky steals a boat. It just happens to be John’s boat, and when it’s damaged along with his boathouse, John proceeds to lay out a means of having Sharky pay him back. [No Cult AU]
———–
It took two and a half days to tear the old boathouse down.
John hadn’t lied when he mentioned wanting him to get in there and take it apart piece by piece, and hovered over him the entire time.
The whole monitoring bit was easily the part that annoyed him the most. Like he was waiting for him to screw up. To somehow find a way to take the already burnt building and set it on fire again through force of will alone. Which, while badass, was well out of his means, all the wishing and praying he’d sometimes do to monkey Jesus aside.
But that didn’t stop John from acting like he had the ability. Riding him further during smoke breaks, or barking order after order at him from the sidelines.
Every other word out of his mouth was a correction. To tell him to go back to read the blueprints again. To check his measurements. To put out that cigarette, pry out that misplaced nail, and to use some of that delicacy he kept on going back to, making Sharky’s eyes want to roll back into his head.
And music? The one time he’d tried to bring any levity to the situation with the soothing sounds of disco, John put an end to it immediately. Really just made it clear how much of a drag he wanted to be, and only wanted to push the point home.
Seeing as John was some big-shot lawyer, he really expected him to have more to do than nitpick and lord this whole thing over him. Like he’d stick around for a few weeks, use the time to get off on whatever power trip he was having over this, and then go back to bugging the department, the local businesses, Nick, shit, anyone.
But John Seed was also petty as fuck.
Local gossip hadn’t painted the guy as a kind or forgiving figure, and while the Seeds as a whole were alright at best and fucking weird at worst, over the past couple of years John had picked up a rep as a colossal asshole all on his own.
Tickets? Contested. Special orders down at the store or for parts? Made with specific instructions that needed to be followed to the letter. If not, he’d demand and get his money back, damning everyone with the fine print others would skim over.
Hell, Sid, one of the guys that worked down at the cattle ranch, had traded paint with him once. He’d done so while stopping at the general store, and hadn’t paid much mind to the fancy car parked in the lot, getting just close enough to leave a small scuff on the rear bumper.
In those cases, a person would trade numbers, or see what they could buff off before moving on, 'cause insurance claims were a pain in the ass, and half of the cars in the county were a little late on renewing registrations anyway. Shit, he was coming up on a year, and hoping to see how much longer he could go before any of the Deps cottoned on to it.
But no, the minute John caught on, Sid recalled the glint he got in his eye. Then told him he’d slap him with the largest fine possible for both the damage and the late reg. All over trading paint. Not major damage, not even a busted tire.
Just paint.
Sid was still spitting mad about it, months after the fact.
He’d even pulled a fast one when it came to setting up big bro Joe’s compound. Digging up some obscure property laws all but guaranteeing the land could be sold to them.
No, no one earned the title of mega-dick by being sweet and accommodating. His bro had smoothed over a lot of ruffled feathers by being pretty okay after that, even with all of the converts chilling the fuck out on his property, but John was still John.
And now he personally had that shit to deal with. Today, two days from now, and who knew how many weeks or months after that.
So much for those chicks wanting and keeping his number too. Hurk told him he’d snagged at least one number on the way back to their drop off, but when he’d tried to call them back the other day he got no answer. Ghosted him like it was nothing, and he guessed he deserved that.
What with getting himself caught and left to doing whatever the hell John wanted for as long as John wanted.
“As per our agreement,” John would remind him, whenever he felt the point needed pushing.
And he pushed.
Whenever Sharky would drop something, whenever he let his feet drag, whenever he cut something and John was ready to whip out his tape measure.
He pushed, and Sharky shot another prayer up to monkey Jesus, hoping that maybe this would be the day to go Human Torch on the situation. Or at the very least a little Cyclops.
Not today, but he’d try again tomorrow.
But on the days when Sharky was working, it wasn’t always just the two of them. He’d full on expected this whole thing to go on in its own little pocket, with Hurk eventually crashing the party due to a need to bust him out or worse.
The day that Joseph first showed up stood out, for one.
Joseph Seed was kind of like Pastor Jerome. Not his first pick to hang out with, considering they were both on opposite sides here. Of the whole preaching and managing earthly temptations, while not super indulging in the kind of shit that he knew he wanted in his life, period.
It came with the territory, being religious leaders and all that, but when Joseph first rolled in to the county, he’d brought his people with him.
And they were an interesting bunch. The People of Eden’s Gate were some kind of holistic commune where it was pretty hunky-dory roughly ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent was wondering just what to do about the men and women that wanted the simple life. Living humbly while offering help wherever needed.
While their hearts were in the right place, it was pretty boring stuff otherwise, Sharky decided. He’d even considered joining up for the hell of it only until Hurk reminded him that there wasn’t much fucking to be found there. Pretty women, sure, but the kind more focused on spirituality, and less on how many ways they could Clutch Nixon-ify their daily lives.
But Joseph on his own was a different story.
Watching John go from calmly sipping his drink, doubling-down on just how refreshing it was when Sharky happened to push the wheelbarrow past him, to spitting half of it out when Joseph materialized next to him was fucking priceless.
Greeting him warmly, Joseph pulled a sputtering John into a kind-of half-hug gesture, but John’s cool had already been lost, and in front of his entourage too.
Joe’s wife was with him, plus kiddo number one of a baker’s dozen, carrying them up and on her hip as they talked. With them was also a woman dressed in the modest clothes the Peggies stuck to. She wasn’t trying to stand out, but he didn’t need sharp eyes to see how damn pretty she was.
It had to have been a brother thing, Sharky gathered. Embarrassing the shit out of younger siblings seemed almost natural to Joseph, and it might’ve been petty of him too, but watching John try to get his shit back in line in front of all of them was like hitting the jackpot.
So, Sharky kept on working, sneaking looks over at the group every now and then, and at one point gave an awkward wave back whenever they tried acknowledging him. But whenever John glanced his way, Sharky didn’t hide his shit-eating grin. No, it stayed put for the rest of the day.
The next time Joseph came over, however, he didn’t stop by just to say hi. He approached Sharky, ignoring John’s loud protests, and insisted on helping.
He’d get water, and help with any items that needed anchoring, stepping in whenever it looked like Sharky needed another hand. It was the most contact he’d had with the guy outside of the times he’d tried preaching at the Eagle, and outside of that? He was actually pretty okay to be around.
Well, he personally didn’t have a problem with Joe, at least. John’s irritation skyrocketed with every suggestion, especially when Joseph did the impossible. Told him that with a three-person job, you needed three people, and John? John was capable.
“You sure are,” Sharky added, giving him a wicked grin, and John looked mad enough to spit.
But he didn’t say no. Didn’t even try, or attempt it.
Did more than his fair share under the loving supervision of his older bro, and come nightfall, Sharky realized he’d had a damn good day. It was the lightest he’d felt in weeks, and wasn’t about to turn that down. Not when it helped him jump back into things with some extra pep, and the progress was a boost too.
With the actual frame up and the panels and exterior being added piece by piece, Sharky was starting to feel pretty accomplished. Proud even, because he built this. Yeah, he was being needled at every step of the way, but he used his own two hands to get this set up, no one else’s, and at the end of the day could actually see more of this coming together.
If he kept this up, he’d also have some extra skills to add to his repertoire. Might even get a chance to twist Hurk’s arm into trying out that whole ‘building and flipping’ thing that seemed to be hot at the moment, provided he wasn’t here for the next ten years.
But goals. He had goals to work towards and something to show for it, and it was pretty damn nice in the grand scheme of things.
Today, however, John had a guest again. The same Peggie woman as before, holding a basket, flanked by a few other converts.
Full on expecting to see Joe with her, Sharky wondered if he was waiting out in the woods again. Hell, even John was checking the path back up towards his house, looking past her every now and then to see if he’d catch him.
But as the minutes ticked by, and Sharky kept on working, nothing happened. And long after the other Eden’s Gate members had left, the two kept on talking, having what seemed to be a hell of a time going off of the signals they were giving off.
Smiling, laughing. Facing each other directly as they spoke, Sharky had John’s back to him almost completely, which had his eyebrows climbing up.
And judging by the way she was reacting to John in turn, he had to have been turning on the charm. Smiling shyly, twirling her hair around her finger, hell, he’d put money on her being a two-word question away from dropping everything to get a piece of that.
It was annoying as fuck, really. Dry spell or not, watching John pull it off with minimal effort sucked.
Sure, he had a lot of things working for him. The guy was loaded, for one. Had more than enough money to net himself a fancy car, his large-ass ranch, and a plane. He’d also had a boat up until Sharky had wrecked it, but that was beside the point. Man had more money than sense, and worked the slick lawyer angle for all it was worth. He’d listened in on enough convos to know just how many women in the county dug it. Shit, men too.
Plus the whole property on the water was a real panty dropper. At least going off of what his Auntie had said shortly after John had first bought it, gossiping with Sharky about the costs and expenses that came with it.
Then she promptly turned the talk on its head by launching into talking about John’s ass instead.
His drink hadn’t stayed in his mouth for long, and she’d dropped her forlorn sighing long enough to tell him not to stain the carpet. That he had to hear and think about John’s ass at all wasn’t fucking fair, especially since he was pretty damn sure it wasn’t that much of a draw to begin with. He’d checked.
Whenever John’s back was turned towards him, he’d sneak a look to see what the deal was only to be disappointed. Better asses were walking around Hope County right this moment, his included, but good luck trying to argue that with her. Or even get three words in edgewise before wanting to slap some sense into himself.
Besides, John’s eyes were better. Hands down, Sharky knew they’d been his ticket to pound town on more than one occasion, needing only to show them off and say a few fancy words to seal any kind of deal.
Dropping the wood onto the ground, he crouched down low. Stared at the wood grain of the plank to clear his mind a little before shifting his attention back towards John.
Shit, were they still talking?
He rolled his eyes. Whatever John was saying couldn’t have been that good, and any joke? Nowhere near funny enough to get a giggle like that.
At that time, John turned, giving him a look over his shoulder as Sharky became well aware of two sets of eyes on him. The woman for one, and the pretty boy lawyer that had been eating up every last shred of her attention until now.
A cross between smug and expectant, John gestured towards him.
Well?
Sharky knew three ways to tell someone to get fucked, but picked the least subtle one just in case.
Shocked for a second, John closed his mouth. But soon after, he pressed a hand to his chest, looking hurt. It was pretty convincing, making Sharky feel for a moment that he’d done something shitty like kicked a puppy.
Shame it didn’t reach his eyes. Or match the sharp smile that crept in.
“Smug-ass, smirking fuckface,” Sharky muttered, throwing the wooden plank to the side.
But not even that stuck around either. No, John flashed his pearly whites at the woman with him too, making her melt right in front of them.
Salt in the motherfucking wound. That’s what it all was, but lucky for him he only had a few more hours left to go. Then he could go home, get in a kickass shower and see what Hurk was doing.
Standing up, he wiped his face down with his handkerchief. If this had been anytime during the summer he would’ve been dying, but at least the weather was working in his favor. The breeze took the edge off just enough, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds to soak it all in.
“Oh, Charlemagne?”
Grating right on his ears, the pitch John used never failed to make him want to grind his teeth together. That, and saying his name. Kept on doing that well after being told he could call him Sharky. Shit, even his grandma used it sparingly.
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you be focusing over there-“ John froze, and all smugness vanished.
That put him on edge. “Yo, you wanna expand on that, amigo?”
Slowly turning around, Sharky caught the small creature on the ground and felt every hair on him stand on end. Black and white, and assuming the posture any pissed off animal would, it stood tall for its small size with its tail up, ready and aiming right at him.
Skunks, though, had never liked him. Guess he’d earned that after the whole kissing one bit. So, staring down what he was sure had to be some distant relative out for revenge, he did what came naturally.
Yelled. Loudly, and might’ve sealed his fate right then and there.
Hit, but not in the eyes – thank Hurk’s monkey Jesus for that – he sprinted down towards the river and dove right in.
Grabbing his cap, he kept it in hand as he bobbed back up to the surface. The smell hit as he gulped down air, and he furiously paddled away from the shore when he realized he’d been followed.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
This was fucking bonkers, and it was only getting worse.
Could skunks swim? Did they have a sense for it, or was he getting played by the only one able to? Was this the moment some poor guy was going to have to act out in the movie about his life? Swimming out, smelling to high heaven as a rich asshole laughed it up from the shore?
Fuck, he hoped to hell not, 'cause he’d lived an okay life up ‘til now. And having that be the moment he’d be known for immortalized up on the silver screen was just lousy at best.
Looking back, he watched as the skunk gave him the evil eye for a minute, pacing back and forth as it thought about shooting at him again. Little fucker wasn’t done yet, but couldn’t fire another round off from where it was.
John on the other hand, was watching the whole thing develop from a distance. He hadn’t taken off, but wasn’t laughing like he thought he would either. If anything, his gaze was sharp as he aimed it over at the skunk camping him out, and kept it set in place as he approached the boathouse.
Whatever the hell he had in mind, Sharky hoped he’d do it, and do it fast.
Shit, if he ended up zapped too, that’d also make his week, but for now he needed to keep swimming, and tried to see if he could make his way back towards land. His arms and legs weren’t tired, but the water wasn’t getting any warmer, and this was more of a workout than he’d planned for.
The skunk did not let up, following his drift.
“Seriously? Don’t you got something better to get up to?”
No, it didn’t, and he paddled harder hoping to get some kind of a lead on it. Kicked enough with the intent of making a break for it as soon as he hit land.
Maybe he could shimmy up a tree? Nah, he’d be a sitting duck, worse off there than here. Get back to his car on the way? His keys were swimming in his pocket right now, along with-
Aw, dammit. There went that phone. Sputtering into the water, he coughed around the word that would’ve come out otherwise, then gave it up to keep on swimming.
On the edge of the shore, he dragged himself up and out and booked it. Didn’t see anything waiting for him, but didn’t waste time either. Just hit the nearest patch of tall bushes and stayed low.
Waiting was the worst part. Waiting, listening, and trying not to make too much noise on his end. Every branch, twig, and leaf was the enemy now, and he wasn’t about to let that skunk get the drop on him again.
Five minutes passed. Then ten.
Loud squeaking sounded off in the distance, and he poked his head out from the bush.
Scanning left and right, Sharky checked for black and white. That and movement. When neither seemed to be present, he pushed his way forward and stepped out into the open.
Letting out a slow breath, he shook his hat out and slipped it back on. Then took in a tentative sniff as he raised his arm. The smell hung around him like a cloud, and getting a bigger whiff of it only made him want to gag.
Peeling the shirt off, he wrung it out, and gave it a smell as well. Now that made his eyes water. With his luck his jeans were just as bad, and he didn’t bother checking. Just pulled them off to get some of the water out of them too, and resigned himself to drip-drying the rest of the day outdoors.
“Charlemagne? You can come out now!”
John. Guess he’d found a way to deal with it after all.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
“Ugh, fucker. Took him long enough.” Groaning to himself, he slung his wet clothes over his shoulder and started heading towards the clearing.
“Well, there you…are?” John gave him a quick once over as he walked past, and pursed his lips. “Hmm.”
The woman with him didn’t even try to make eye contact. Just kept her attention directed elsewhere, her cheeks tinted red.
Great. Not that he was trying, but his odds of getting even a pity look in passing had all but tanked.
“Yo, I don’t wanna know what you did, but after that? My bullshit meter’s maxed, so fuck off.”
Prying his keys out of his pocket, Sharky unlocked the trunk of his car and threw the clothes into the back of it. Between the gas cans and propane tanks he’d thrown back there often enough, skunk wasn’t going to add much to the smell in there.
“Fuck off? That’s not very kind, all things considering.”
The trunk dropped, and he might’ve used more force than necessary. “Kind?”
“Not even a thank you?” John eyed him from a distance, smug, but only for a second. “After chasing off your little tormentor? Such a shame, really.”
“That I ain’t feeling, what? Warm gratitude towards you right now? Like happy and fuzzy shit?”
John scoffed. “Hardly.”
“'Cause you’re making a whole lot of noise for nothing, and I wouldn’t be out here busting my ass at all without you to begin with.”
“Oh, my dear Charlemagne,” he watched as John withdrew a blue handkerchief from his jean pocket, and held it up to his face to cover his nose, “I’m hardly the one at fault here.”
His patience snapped like a brittle twig. Rattling off words as fast as they came to him, Sharky scraped for the bottom, tried actively to come up with the most out of bounds targeted insults he could conjure up just to see if he could wipe what he was sure was a smirk right off of John’s face.
Then nearly crashed into the woman who had stepped into his path. Making full-on eye contact now, she gave him a hesitant, but soft smile. “I think this might help.”
In her hands was a towel. A nice, fluffy one, and she held it out towards him.
The anger drained out of him as he stared at her. Almost as if someone took an ice bucket and dumped it right over his shoulders.
Gingerly taking it, Sharky let it dangle in the air between them. “Uh, thanks?”
“Of course. For anyone in need, and you certainly seemed to be. Considering your lack of…clothing in general right now.”
Still had the underwear on, at least. Blushing five different shades of red, he quickly wrapped the towel around himself. “Yeah, um, thank you again, miss.”
She nodded, and headed back towards John. “We’ll be heading out, but can we expect you at mass later tonight?”
John lowered the handkerchief just enough for Sharky to catch the frown. “If work allows it. There’s still a lot left to do here, but you can let Joseph know I’ll try.”
Sharky pulled up a corner of the towel to wipe his face, no longer able to hear much of what was traded between them. Lady hadn’t even flinched at the smell up close, and the towel was a nice one. Nicer than any of the kind he had at home, and must’ve been in the basket she had with her.
Yeah, got that pity look after all. Great.
Staring down at his feet, he removed his cap to run a hand through his hair. The hushed voices behind him eventually stopped, and by the time John walked over he’d switched to looking out over the water.
“That was interesting.”
“Sure,” Sharky said, tired of arguing with him.
“And there went our progress for the afternoon. At least the morning wasn’t a complete waste, but our guest derailed us thoroughly. And I don’t believe you have a change of clothes, do you?”
Sharky rubbed his shoulder, and felt it twinge in response as he moved it. He badly needed a cigarette, and was desperate enough to see how many times it’d take for a wet one to actually light.
“Do you?”
“Look, I get what you’re asking. And no, I’d have-“ John raised the handkerchief again, and the words died in his mouth. “You know what? Forget it. And if you’re looking to avoid this shit, don’t stand downwind of it. Basic Scouting 101 right there.”
Sharky whipped the towel off and threw it at him.
John snatched it out of the air, keeping it from smacking him in the face. “Leaving?”
Not bothering to check behind him as he approached his car, Sharky flashed him the finger.
“You can take this with you, you know.”
That John didn’t take the bait, or fight him on it, only irritated him further. He also seemed to be following him, and Sharky scowled at him. “Don’t need it.”
John sighed, and put away the cloth. “Charlemagne, it’s a towel, and you’re still soaking wet.”
“And maybe I want the draft to help dry the swamp ass brewing here, okay?” he shot, climbing in behind the wheel. “And if you wanna give me shit for cutting out early, tack on more hours as a penalty, whatever, I’ll deal with that next time. Or, hell, the time after, as long as it doesn’t mean I’m still standing here talking any of this shit with you. That work?”
The thin line John had pressed his lips into told him otherwise, but he said nothing. Just crossed his arms before holding out the towel to him one last time.
Sharky hit the gas and didn’t look back.
#far cry 5#sharky boshaw#john seed#john seed/sharky boshaw#the skunk bit was actually going to be later in the fic in the original planning#but the outline was thankfully a flexible thing#b/c it fit so much better here#FC5 fanfiction#fanfiction#fic: I won't ask for much#fic series: we could make a home out of this
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Love of my life | Tom Holland Oneshot
KOH Tom (or Demon Tom) x Human reader
Summary: There are 365 days in a year and you’re lucky enough to see your love on one of those days. At least they called it lucky– you called it a curse but hey, sometimes you have to learn the hard way about falling in love with demons.
Words: Around 2.9k
Warnings: Uh it’s a demon au. Heartbreak. This au isn’t for everyone so if it doesn’t seem like you, don’t read it. be nice on anon kids lmao.
Yes, this was majorly inspired by the song ‘Love of my life’ by Queen. It wasn’t at first but as I continued writing it I realised that the lyrics resonated with how it was going and had the song on repeat, so of course I had to throw in a few references. I 10/10 reccomend listening to that song.
Gif by @starksparker / @hawkeyesscoffee
-
Love of my life, don't leave me You've stolen my love, you now desert me
There were three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, and you were alone for three hundred and sixty-four of those days.
Because on one of those days, you were blessed with the presence of your love, Tom Holland. That was for one whole day, twenty-four hours out of eight thousand seven hundred and sixty. For some it would be classed as a gift, something to look forward too but for you, it was the effect of a curse.
Because you knew that as the clock met the twelve mark you’d be torn from his arms and he’d begin a pitiful journey back to the underground while you– you’d spend the next two to three days wallowing over mug after mug of cold tea, the shirts that smelt like him (ash and mint– an odd combination, but one that worked.) and old memories.
Because before the law- or what Tom called the curse was placed, your days were filled with constant laughter, varying dates that reminded you of your teenage years again and trouble, lots of it. Because Tom was trouble, but in the very best way possible and before the curse you were even given an engagement ring.
You still had it, the ring that was the colour of his wicked crown and now, it hung around your neck on a silver chain. Even if you could never get married, because it was like you had a piece of him everywhere you went even if you also drape yourself in his shirts and hoodies. (He made sure to always bring one over every year)
Maybe you were just holding onto false hope. Maybe a strong part of you still believed that you’d get married to him and he’d come up to live with you in the mortal world and you’d wear a pretty white dress, him in a monkey suit and there’d be a cake after– your family and friends would all be there and after you’d go on a romantic getaway to somewhere hot like Hawaii, because Tom liked hot places and despised the cold. That was one of the only things he complained about when you used to get to spend every day together in London. You even talked about going to France and various places in America.
You knew it was all dreams, simply fantasies.
It was all false hope and it was hanging by a thread.
He was trouble with his jet black wings that could protrude from his shoulder blades and hang over his head, the ones that you’d run your fingers through and savour– and the sharp teeth that could bite through the flesh of those that wronged him. You’d never seen it but you could only imagine. He was trouble- handsome at that with the ashy grey and ruby red crown that only you got to touch and had even tried on, and trouble from the things he told you about the underworld– a place you were forbidden from entering despite Toms eternal love for you.
And on that one day a year he got to visit you... he’d notice how you’d only grown older while he remained youthful. You weren’t blind to the changes either, that every year left you more plagued then the one before.
He watched and tried to ignore as gentle creases took place beneath your eyes when you’d smile, one more crease then last year decorating your features despite the fact that you were still young– in human years still younger then him. He’d listen to your voice through the phone, ignoring how it got heavier and more pained as the years went but maybe that wasn’t a sign of ageing, but a sign of sorrow for your boyfriend lived not far– access was easy but you wouldn’t survive being down there for too long, and hell wouldn’t survive if he left.
And like they’d threatened, if he spent too long out of hell you’d both perish. You laughed at the threat at first but Tom assured you that it was dead serious. Tom tested those limits anyway because love was worth it, right? and now you were reduced to one day a year, any longer then that and he’d suffer in ways that were simply unimaginable. That was why he called it a curse but still– you used your one day a year because love was worth it.
And your curse was something completely different. You didn’t need a mystical being to put this curse on you, you weren’t born with it and it wasn’t one you could break. You were possessed by desire, devotion and passion. Your curse was being completely and utterly in love with Tom. So much so that at twenty-seven you were nothing more then alone three hundred and sixty-four days of the year. One would say putting your life on hold for something that was so far out of your own reach.
Loneliness was still engulfing you in its arms, whispering harsh truths and those few gentle praises as you stayed with him year after year. No one else could compete with him, nothing could come close to the love he gave.
And maybe it was all so goddamn wrong and your meeting was an accident in the first place because while you dreamed of a normal, mortal life with Tom, he dreamed of a completely different one. The king dreamed of having you on the throne with him, seated next to him with a crown on your head and a title as his queen. He dreamed of having you at arm's reach at all times simply so he could shower you in affection that he felt starved of throughout the mortal year and ravish you with jewels and other riches that he’d been hiding away.
Your differences couldn’t compete. You were both too different but one thing was for sure; you’d never get to live out either of your little fantasies.
-
Feet gently tap against the floorboards and you sit, humming a gentle tune as the clock ticked slowly– ever so goddamn slowly as you waited for it to hit twelve. Twelve am, not pm. The ring that sat on your finger was cold, the ruby red sparkling as it hit the sunlight.
Ruby red like the colour of the jewels that lined his crown. Red like the flames that burned beneath you and the red that shone in his eyes when he was angry. You’d only seen that colour red in him when they’d passed the law that prohibited him from seeing you 364 days of the year.
Twelve was when your time began. When he’d make his way to you and haul you up in his arms and treat you like a queen. You wondered what you’d do this time- If just maybe he wanted to go down to the beach where you would have a midnight picnic when the surf was at its loudest and the land was at its loneliest. Or maybe he’d want to stay behind and make love until your legs were aching and your throat was raw from calling out his name like it was your lifeline.
In a way, you felt that he was exactly that- your lifeline, the thing that kept you alive.
Until then you’d sit and wait, chewing on your bottom lip despite the fact that you knew it’d cause the skin to split. You were filled with anticipation.
There’s a sudden knock at the door that breaks the silence, pulling you from your patient wait you drag yourself to the door and don’t waste a second to peep through the small hole or ask who it is– you swing it open. You’re greeted by your dark-eyed demon, as beautiful as ever.
He stands there as real as day, smiling brightly though there was something else that you don’t take a second to work out as he steps inside the room.
“Tom.” You let out a sigh, arms going straight around his neck. You breathed in the scent of his coat, not even being able to begin what he smelt like. Whatever it was, you liked it.
He wastes no time in scooping you up into his arms, enveloping you as he’d only dreamed about for the last year and closes his eyes and take this all in- to accept that this was real and he was with you again and god he was so in love.
The demon was whipped.
“My love.” The words came out muffled against your sweater, one that wasn’t his own. One of his hands goes straight to the back of your head, only pulling you tighter against him and he swore that you’d never be close enough. He needed you in so many ways but Tom knew that the clock had already started ticking. That he now only had 23 hours and 58 minutes with you before he’d be pulled back to the very depths of hell. “My beautiful girl.”
Tom pulled back a little and noticed how you’d grown your hair out. It now hung lower then last year- and how the bags beneath your eyes were only more prominent. If he had more time with you he swore he would’ve tucked you up in bed and told you to sleep ‘til your heart’s content.
But Tom was a selfish lover and he wanted you all to himself.
“Missed you so much.” You cling to him, fingers grasping his shirt beneath the coat. “I missed you more then ever this time. I just kept thinking about you down there and counting down the minutes until we got to be like this again.”
Having him there again was almost too much. You feel a wave of emotion wash over you and you know- he knows, you never want to let go of him. You wanted to curl up and stay with him forever on earth– after being made his on paper, of course.
Toms' lips linger on top of your head, whispering sweet nothings as what he knew he had to say lingered in the back of his mind. “I was thinking about you too. Every fucking day, my love. I was hoping that you’d still be wearing that ring, just waiting for me.”
You bring one of your hands up and show him the item that still sat on your finger day and night. “I never take it off. It’s the closest I can be to you.”
You didn’t bring up the one time you’d lost it for a solid two days and searched frantically with tear stained cheeks and salty lips until you found it on the bathroom floor, trapped between the sink and the wall. It was the biggest relief of your life finding it there. The thing was simply irreplaceable.
Tom lets go of you, not liking the sudden emptiness he feels and peppers kisses to your cheeks, moving down to your jaw. “What are we doing just standing here? There’s so much time to make up for.”
You sigh at the contact. “And not enough time.” your voice lowers to a whisper that doesn’t go unnoticed by Tom who brings a finger up to brush a strand of hair away from your eyes.
“C’mon, darling, do we really want to spend our time together being sad? I got you something.”
A goodbye gift.
“I told you that you don’t have to bring me things.” You speak gently, watching as he reaches behind his back and offers a bouquet of black roses. But they weren’t like other black roses, they sparkled and your eyes widened in awe, mouth falling agape.
I’m hoping that it’ll help heal your broken heart, he wants to say, but there aren’t enough gifts he could give you in this lifetime that’d put the pieces back together.
“They’re from my personal garden and they only grow once a year but if you grow them correctly, giving them the perfect amount of sunlight and water then they can last a lifetime once picked.”
You take them gently, brushing your fingertips over the flowers. “Where were you hiding those?” You say without taking your gaze off of the things.
“You don’t want to know.” He smiles lightly. “We need to talk about something.” The demon stops, wetting his lips. Behind him, black wings flutter nervously. But no, because a demon didn’t feel nervous. “About us.”
“Yeah? I’m listening.” You prompt him, moving away to grab a vase. You grab a clear one, filling it with water and put the jet black flowers in while Tom waits. In the meantime he takes a seat on your couch, noticing the screwed up blanket and creases from where you’d previously been sitting.
Tom swallows harshly, his wings suddenly tensing. He’d refuse to admit that he’d already cried over this and he refused to cry about it again, especially not in front of you. He debated spending a full twenty-three hours with you first, making the most of every single second but then it’d come across as he’d been using you. Plus, how could he have fun when it was the only thing on his mind? He simply couldn’t.
If Tom were a human, he’d swear he’d die and go to hell for what he was about to do to you.
Tom toys with the fluffy blanket, picking at loose strands. “You must need a break from– from waiting around, right?” He hesitates.
The flowers shone on the kitchen windowsill, glittering beneath the moonlight and you trudged over, trying to make sense of what he was saying. You struggle to take your eyes off of them, your heart fluttering in content for now.
“I’m confused, waiting around for what?” You shrug and take a seat next to him on the couch. The two of you are facing each other and somehow, you notice that Tom looks more broken then you.
He shutters. “For me every year. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?”
“It is but it’s worth it when I get to see you, even if it’s just once a year.” You try to hide your nerves behind a small smile but Tom sees right through you. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
You want to scold him for wasting precious time. You could’ve begun baking sweats by now and he’d be stealing the spoon
“Y/N.” He uses your first name, something he never did. “This isn’t fair on you. I’m trying not to be selfish here and keep you all to myself because I know that you have your entire life in front of you. You’re getting older–”
“Do you not like me anymore? B-because I’m no longer as young as I was when we first met.” You choke back tears, playing nervously with the red ring. It was a nervous habit you’d picked up.
“My love.” Tom stops you, brown curls hanging in tousled strands. “What I mean to say is that you deserve a life outside waiting for me. And as much as it pains me to say this, you deserve to find someone that can be with you whenever you need them. I get twenty-four hours to shower you in all of the love and affection I can but that’s not enough. I can provide you kids or a… a real life.”
“You’re enough for me. This, what we have is enough.” But it wasn’t enough and you knew it as well as he did. “You have always been the one for me.”
But it was like Tom had already made up his mind. But of course he had, he had spent the last year going backwards and forth after all. Harrison was dead sick of hearing about it by now but yeah, he’d still be waiting at the gates with open arms for his broken-hearted best friend on his return.
“But I’m not. It’s selfish of me to keep making you do this, making you wait when you could be out there meeting someone knew– travelling the world and getting married. Remember your dream wedding you told me about? With all the flowers.”
You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes. “I don’t need a wedding or to see the world if I have you by my side.”
“But you don’t have me by your side and you know that. I’m never here, I’m never the person you need and that isn’t either of our faults.” Tom thought about his next words wisely because the largest part of him that was so in love with you, absolutely smitten and head over heels wanted nothing more then to swallow them whole and move on. But the part that knew you were isolated, wasting away and needed to move on pushed him out of his comfort zone. “But I’m the one holding and back and I think it’s time I let you go.”
For 364 days you’d waited for this day, imagining only how perfect it’d be. How happy and content you’d feel with him by your side again but if anything this felt just like the last 364 days. Only you felt a little more broken hearted. A little more let down.
“I don’t think you realise how much you mean to me.” You mutter, choking back a sob. You took a moment to memorise every single one of his features from the light freckles dotting his cheeks to the sharpness of his jaw and bruised knuckles.
“No, that’s the thing. I realise exactly how much I mean to you and that’s why I’m doing this.” He hated saying that. He hated admitting the truth because the truth was destined to break your heart. “You’re the love of my life.” He breathed out. “There is no other human, no demon nor angel that can compete with you, my love.”
“Then don’t go.” Your voice breaks with so much fear and confusion, cheeks beginning to heat up as he admits that you were practically one in many million. “Don’t go, just stay here and don’t leave.”
You barely saw how pained Tom looked through your own glassy eyes. Feeling emotions this strong was almost unheard of for demons and Tom had been oh so good at keeping everything inside– refusing to even utter your name to anyone but Harrison because he refused to put you in danger.
He isn’t even able to reply and you speak again. “So you just break my heart then leave? That’s it?”
Tom shakes his head, strands of hair brushing against his forehead.
“My love, the last thing I wanted to do was break your heart but this will be better in the long run.” He reaches a hand up and brushes a strand of hair away from your eyes, one that was stuck to your cheeks with help from salty tears. “I’m letting you live your life.”
You bask in just the feeling of his hand on you and flutter your eyes shut. “My life isn’t complete without you in it.”
Tom stands up, your fingers reach up as you run your fingers down the feathers. You wanted to remember what they felt like. The things tended to be soft, the perfect blanket after a long days work. They fluttered beneath your fingertips. Before the cruel laws were put in place his favourite thing to do was wrap you up in them as you slept. He hadn’t done that in a long time because when you were together now, you didn’t sleep.
That was only one of the simple things he missed.
“But it will be with time.” He tells you, stepping back until he was at least within a few feets distance. “Slowly you’ll move on. You’ll find someone new and they’ll put together every single broken piece. They’ll make you happier then I ever could.”
Because you did get married and you did get the large arrangement of flowers you’d always dreamed off. But right there, dead centre was a black rose. It was the piece that stood out the most, catching your eye every time you so much as glanced at the undying thing.
And for a while you were happy but your mind always ran back to the man that waited patiently below. Tom had lied because after a while, you grew miserable and yeah, his days were just as miserable as yours. He was angrier since then, growing more violent upon learning of your marriage. He only softened after the birth of your daughter. The news excited him.
But in the end, the truth was that you were never going to get into Heaven after your romance and lasting feelings for the demon anyway. There was no chance– so you would meet again, and you did.
Because Tom was the love of your life, and you were his. And a love like that never dies.
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#tom holland#Koh!tom#demon!tom#Tom Holland au#Tom Holland imagine#Tom Holland imagines#Tom Holland fanfic#Tom Holland fanfiction#Tom Holland x reader#Tom Holland x reader insert#Tom Holland x you
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BnHA Chapter 219: Two Good Boys and One Unlucky Broker
Previously on BnHA: Katsuki and Shouto had their licenses for all of 30 minutes (literally) before deciding to put them to the test. But let’s backtrack a bit! It was a beautiful snowy day in December and class 1-A was chilling out and watching the news. We were introduced to a company called Detnerat, and their CEO who’s apparently a big fan of this dead terrorist guy named Destro who wrote a book about quirk supremacy and how people with superpowers need to rise up and liberate themselves and shit. It’s actually really interesting and I can see how these ideas would create a divide within hero society much like Stain’s ideology did. But anyway, so the CEO casually murdered his assistant for mocking these ideas, so that was deeply horrifying. And then he went to meet with some other villains (because yeah! he’s a villain, apparently!) who are apparently descendants of Destro (as is he, I presume), and they talked about how they’re gonna arrange a meetup with the League of Villains so that they can FUCK THEM UP. Plot twist! Anyways and then we cut to some hapless citizens who were being robbed by some banditos, and that’s when Katsuki and Shouto showed up as previously mentioned. So let’s see how this goes!
Today on BnHA: Katsuki and Shouto take on Soda Sam (who I really did think was Aizawa’s old buddy for much longer than I’m proud to admit though), who fights back with some pressurized water jets. All Might saves a stupid Instagram lady and Katsuki saves the both of them, and also recovers everyone’s stolen wallets, because he’s a fucking boy scout now that the provisional course is over. Meanwhile Shouto whips out the ol’ hot+cold power combo of sports festival fame and knocks the villain out. Afterwards the two of them are enthusiastically congratulated by a pro hero called Slidin’ Go (who’s secretly evil, as it turns out, because this is a very strange arc) and hair ruffled by All Might and it’s fucking great you guys. We then cut back to the Detnerat guys, who bring in Giran, a.k.a. the League of Villains’ black market broker who just so happens to have balls of fucking steel. Good thing too, because the DetCEO plans to use him to track down and lure out the League so he can take care of them. Lastly, we cut over to said League, whose members are currently in the process of having their asses handed to them by Gigantomachia and are really not looking too hot, oh dear.
(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 225 -- I haven’t read 226 yet -- so any ETAs will reflect that.)
so it’s come to this. the Symbol of Peace, reduced to directing traffic
listen kid, you’ll have time for autographs later all right? for now just DO AS THE MAN SAYS
meanwhile Shouto’s being a badass
Bakugou may be out of his element in the cold (and we’ll see if this poses a problem for him--he’s only got one gauntlet on top of that), but this lil lukewarm lad is fine and dandy
loooooll
you tell ‘em Shouto. that’s some nice property damage there son. I hope Katsuki tries to keep his own quirk contained, the last thing we need is you guys getting billed Mt. Lady style for destroying fucking main street here all of 25 minutes after getting those licenses laminated
(ETA: I guess he didn’t actually do any lasting damage though? hopefully nothing got flood damaged when he melted all of that afterwards.)
the title of the chapter is “go! sliding go!” which sounds like fun. sounds like more icy goodness
(ETA: why did they name this chapter after the weirdly unsettling and secretly evil THE FULLLLLL BULLPENNN hero, though?? my working theory is that it was Horikoshi’s way of ensuring we wouldn’t just immediately forget he existed so that we could be properly surprised when he returned a few chapters later.)
anyway so Aizawa’s cloudy friend is shaking off the ice, and now he’s chewing the boys out for fucking up his big purse-snatching operation
all that for a handful of wallets?? seriously??
LMAO
I don’t know if it’s that I’m becoming more like him, or if he’s just becoming more like me. but either way Katsuki you gotta get out of my head there kiddo, I’m starting to worry here
by the way is it just me or is he actually higher up than he was just a few seconds ago. are you actually climbing this thing. drunk on adrenaline or what
anyway so Kumo, who may or may not actually be him but we’re just assuming for now, is explaining that he controls carbonated water and he lives for thrills. his words. not mine
okay first of all, no you don’t. fucking no one in this series has more resolve than that lil monkey slowly inching his way up towards that traffic light there
and second, you spent a whole goddamn month planning a purse heist. where the fuck did you get these airs you’re putting on dude
wow you guys
I feel like we should be placing bets not on whether Baku and Todo will win, but on how long it’ll actually take them. I’m thinking not very fucking long
(ETA: this whole thing is wrapped up within ten pages. I could have literally have been present on the scene, said to myself “my what a lovely snowy day, I think I’ll go buy myself some hot chocolate,” ducked into the Starbucks on the corner, and it would have all been over by the time I stepped back out. “you missed it!!” shouts the excited ‘it’s All Might’ kid from page one. “there was ice and explosions and this stupid lady almost got All Might crushed with a pole!”)
MY DUDES WHAT IS THIS??
SIX IN ONE GO. THIS HIGH SCHOOLER IS THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO I’LL HAVE YOU SUCKERS KNOW
AHHAHAHAHAHA
I’M LOVING IT. I’M LOVING THIS. FUCK ‘EM UPPPPP KATSUKI
WHERE’S THAT RESOLVE OF YOURS NOWWWWW
holy shit. it occurs to me that this is only the third time in the series we’ve actually seen him fight real villains. and the second time was at Kamino, and he was pretty much just on the defensive there and trying to keep them all at a distance, so it’s debatable whether or not that really counts. so basically this is the first time since USJ that he’s gotten to just let loose against a bunch of mooks. and I’ve only just realized how much I wanted this omg
apparently he wanted it too lol. also I’m surprised and extremely impressed that he can control his trajectory that well with only one arm. gives me hope that Shouto’ll be going airborne like his pop any day now
anyway so Kumo? is fighting back though
watch out Katsuki he’s got seltzer and he���s not afraid to use it
okay but damn though
is this fucking seltzer water slicing through this metal lamp post??
I just took a brief break from reading this chapter to go look up “water saw” videos on YouTube to try and get an idea of what exactly we may be dealing with there. and well, I found this. so uh. depends on what kind of firepower that thing on his arm is packing I guess. but he might be more trouble than I anticipated
meanwhile!
ALL MIGHT LET HER GO IT’S NATURAL SELECTION
FUCK
IF THIS STUPID LADY GETS ALL MIGHT KILLED IN FRONT OF THESE TWO BOYS WHO WERE SO GUNG-HO ABOUT FINALLY GETTING THEIR LICENSES, SHE BETTER PRAY THE GATES OF HELL CAN PROTECT HER BECAUSE I’M GONNA GET ME SOME FUCKING BOLT CUTTERS AND FOLLOW HER DOWN THERE MARK MY WORDS
OH THANK GOD
oh my goddddd
first of all, whew. and second of all I’m so glad Horikoshi let him have that moment, rather than Shouto. just in case there were any lingering haters out there thinking his heart still wasn’t in the right place and that the only reason he was all TEAM RESCUE, BITCHES in the previous arc was because he wanted to win
and I mean, he did, obviously. but IT CAN BE TWO THINGS, and now we have a nice little moment here with him rescuing his dad (whose body moved before he could think, AS USUAL) and this stupid lady who put her Instagram above her own fucking life
meanwhile
okay Shouto you have my permission to kick his ass
yeah go ahead and fuck him up
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
PETITION TO PUT SHOUTO IN “GUESS I’VE GOT NO CHOICE” SITUATIONS MORE OFTEN
wow not!Kumo, he is literally the worst possible opponent you could have had huh. sucks to be you
lol Katsuki’s mad that Shouto got to be a badass
they’re getting along so well now. Shouto completely knows how to handle him, he’s like a Kirishima 2.0. he just completely ignores the fact that Katsuki is shrieking insults, and responds as though the questions were phrased normally
and Katsuki actually answers him despite everything. I know it’s crazy, but this is seriously progress
now Dad is running over to make sure they’re okay
“oh, All Might. didn’t see you there. we were just out here being heroic heroes. [stretches casually; yawns] all in a day’s work”
at least he didn’t reference his kidnapping! Kacchan’s protesting but really that’s the best he could have hoped for
so the dude’s asking if they did all of this and uh, yeah. who do think they are, amateurs? I’ll have you know they have provisional licenses, sir
did this motherfucker just pull 13 fucking wallets out of fucking hammerspace to hand over. Link?? is that you??
holy shit. is that why your pants were always so baggy?? WERE YOU JUST BEING PREPARED THIS WHOLE TIME
so not only did Katsuki not destroy so much as an inch of public property (aside from the pole which was already destroyed), he even had the forethought to rescue everyone’s wallets and hand them over to the authorities like the good law-abiding citizen he is
where the fuck is Gang Orca, I need to send that man a fucking fruit bouquet or something
oh my
new favorite panel alert
so this guy, whose name is apparently Sliding Go, says he’ll take care of the rest. okay. thanks man
meanwhile definitely!not!Kumo!mybad!sometimesI’mwrong’s little jet nozzle gauntlets are... exploding??
Detnerat? possibly??
good eye there Sherlock
so I wonder if they got them from Detnerat or from that black market guy the League’s associated with... Giran? I think is his name??
oh shit!!!
new new favorite panel alert
love how Shouto seems shocked at the unexpected gesture of fatherly affection (which hurts my heart. hey All Might you got room for a third son there), whereas Bakugou is just accepting it and probably even knew it was coming and is just trying to keep his cool and trying to calculate how long he can stand there basking in All Might’s pride before it starts to look like he’s actually enjoying it
sdflkjasldkj
SWEETHEART USE YOUR WORDS
Shoutooooooooo. ;_; that little smile is killing me, I’m melting. once the initial surprise wore off he was so happy. look at him shyly fumbling with his tie oh my baby I love you so much
oh to be a fly on the wall of that taxi cab. watching the two of them sit in the backseat as far away from each other as possible and looking out the window and being so pleased with themselves after all their hard work finally paid off. and meanwhile All Might in the front seat next to the driver, peeking at them in the rearview mirror and smiling softly
also fly!me would definitely try to sneak a peek at Katsuki’s fucking hero license because HORIKOSHI COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY WHY IS IT ALWAYS SECRET AFTER FUCKING SECRET
and I guess that’s that! a very satisfying fight that lasted all of 10 pages but had several cool moves, an opponent with a cool quirk, and several character development moments! that’s how it’s done! god this series has been fucking killing it lately I swear. I hope I’m not jinxing it but this is some good shit. the artwork and pacing are great, I’m liking the new plot so far... just, keep it up, Horikoshi, please
(ETA: for real though he is crushing it)
so now we’re cutting back to the ol’ villain corporate office in Gotham City or wherever
ah, so it was Detnerat!
well I can’t say this is a huge surprise. I imagine the villain market was too tempting to pass up
!!!
I swear to god this had better be more entertaining than the last League of Villains team-up
so now this dude with the shiniest, most luxurious hair I’ve ever seen is explaining that he worked fast because DetCEO told him “do so at once” and his words are the words of Destro
damn so there’s a pretty clear hierarchy here huh
OH SHIT
THAT’S FUCKING GIRAN. THAT’S THE DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO HIM?? FIRST A MURDER IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND NOW THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS’ FAVORITE BROKER IS GETTING FUCKING TORTURED BY CORPORATE THUGS, WHAT THE FUCK. ARE WE IN FOR ANOTHER HARDCORE ARC
(ETA: indeed we are, but this one is so much better though.)
careful, he’s sensitive and clearly not afraid to kill a bitch for less than that, Giran
!!
“the old man”?? is he talking about DetCEO’s father? or his? surely he’s not talking about AFO?
so now President Why So Serious is asking him how much he wants
and Giran is all “I happen to be picky about who I do business with, and since you all just kidnapped and beat the shit out of me, I’m inclined to say ‘no’ here”
(ETA: Giran is a stand up guy and it cost him a fucking hand. well that’s the risk you run when you work in the criminal underworld I guess.)
holy shit Giran
RIP Giran 2015-2019
but damn though, I gotta hand it to the guy, he’s got a bigger pair than I ever expected
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
okay so I’m just gonna post the whole page and break it down
GIRAN IS FUCKED. THIS GUY IS A MANIAC AND HE’S LEGIT GONNA TORTURE THE INFO OUT OF HIM HOLY SHIT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AGAIN
GIGANTOMACHIA IS FUCKING INSANE
AND HOW DID HE GET SO BIG
AND IS COMPRESS FUCKING DEAD. AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEST VILLAIN GIRL TOGA OMG
SPINNER IF THERE WAS EVER A TIME TO REVEAL YOUR QUIRK AND HAVE IT TURN OUT TO BE REALLY BADASS IT’S NOW BUDDY
DABI AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU WERE OUT PLANNING NOUMU SHIT WITH HAWKS AND NOT DEALING WITH THIS UTTER SHITSHOW
IS IT JUST ME OR DOES TOMURA LOOK A LITTLE BUFFER THAN BEFORE? YOU BEEN LIFTING BRO
HOW AND WHY DID THEY GET TO THESE CLIFFS IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, GIGANTO YOU’D BETTER WATCH IT, BECAUSE TOMURA MORE THAN LIKELY IS TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY TO BEAT YOU WITHOUT KILLING YOU, BUT IF HE DOES DECIDE HE WANTS TO KILL YOU, YOU’LL BE PRETTY HARD-PRESSED TO STOP HIM DUDE
oh my god. this is three awesome chapters in a row now. BnHA is killing it, seriously
#bnha#boku no hero academia#bakugou katsuki#todoroki shouto#all might#redestro#giran#league of villains#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#makeste reads bnha#so guess who just noticed slidin' go's got a big ol' arrow plastered on his crotch#me#you guessed it#why is this man so sinister#him and his lack of friction#I can't believe he hugged my children#tomura you had better dust this cheeky mofo
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Hidden Gems of the Silver Screen (And, to a Lesser Extent, the Telly)
It can’t have escaped your notice that the majority of my more recent posts (and fuck knows I’m not posting regularly at the moment) are about movies and TV. The reason for that is pretty simple: 2019 has, surprisingly, yielded some great movies and TV... and also some really torrid shite. On the one hand, films like Ma, Brightburn and The Perfection continue to breathe new life into the horror genre. On the other hand, sci-fi as a cinematic and televised thing continues to ignore its actual audience in favour of sniffing its own farts in a sound-proof chamber designed specifically for next-level virtue-signalling. One thing I will say about the dreck of 2019 is that it’s interesting dreck, at least so far. Another Life, for example, isn’t just bad: it’s mind-bogglingly, fascinatingly bad, as though someone set out to make the worst TV series imaginable and accidentally created a portal to another dimension made entirely of crap.
With all the amazingly wonderful and transifxingly terrible visual media on offer lately, it’s easy to forget that there’s a rich repository of films and TV series from just a few years ago that you’ve probably never watched. You see if you, like me, are a snooty, card-carrying member of the elitist intelligentsia, you probably missed films and TV series that looked dumb as soup on the surface on the grounds that they weren’t worth your time. Luckily for you, I’ve dived nose-first into the detritus of our dying culture, so you don’t have to, and I’ve ferreted out the diamonds from the pig-swill. Without further ado, I’d therefore like to present my list Easily Overlooked Gems.
1. Mandy The phrase “Nicholas Cage stars in a sword-and-sorcery rape/revenge thriller” does not inspire confidence. It’s therefore easy to ignore Mandy and the promptly forget it ever existed. Which is a shame, because it’s kind of a work of genius. The plot is exactly what you’d expect: a cult kidnaps, rapes and kills Cage’s girlfriend, Mandy, and Cage sets out on a mission of revenge culminating in a blood-bath. The nature of the revenge quest is what puts a sting in the film’s tail- or tale, if you’re feeling puntastic. You see, a lot of the bad guys exist in a constant hallucinatory haze after taking a drug that sent them mad after one dose. In order to fight on their level, Cage has to take a dose too. As a result, the world around him slowly but surely transforms into a nightmare landscape that looks like a cross between a D&D illustration and the cover of a heavy metal album and his grubby, personal mission of fury takes on the unmistakable resonance of a Conan-esque hero’s quest. By the end of the film, you have to wonder if Cage has actually slipped into some sort of alternate dimension or if he’s just lost his game-pieces completely. In places, it’s nearly as painful to watch as Landmine Goes Click (crikey, there’s one for the history buffs) but it looks and feels like Beyond the Black Rainbow. Worth your attention just because of how weird it is. I give it a solid four-out-five decapitated rapists.
2. Baby Driver Nothing about Baby Driver suggested it would be a good film: the way it was advertised as a car-chase movie trying to be cute; the stupid title; the fact that it came and went through cinemas like a fart in the night. Which is a shame, because it’s secretly brilliant. It’s a highly stylised crime film populated with the archest archetypes money can buy (to the point where some of the dialogue has a weirdly beat-poetic feel to it). It’s saturated colour palette and off-beat affect actually have something of a full-colour Jim Jarmusch flick about them. The hook, of course, is that the lead character (only ever referred to as Baby, because he’s got a punchably youthful face) has tinnitus and therefore has to listen to music constantly to drown at the buzzing in his head. The practical upshot of this is that a) every single scene is overlayed with surprisingly great and situationally appropriate music and b) he goes through life like he’s always dancing, so his way of moving lends to the film’s easy-going sense of flow. It also explains where his preternatural driving skills come from (I mean, not really, but within the context of the plot): he’s used to sliding effortlessly into patterns and rhythms because of the music thing. All of this could make a terrible film, of course, but execution is everything and, to everyone’s surprise, especially mine, this flick was executed with an astonishing level of panache. I rate it ten out of ten grizzly motor way pile ups.
3. Nightflyers It’s not just films that get overlooked as the tide of culture washes back and forth, like a great big sea of effluent. TV series also vanish unduly into the dustbin of history. Case in point, the criminally underappreciated Nighrflyers: Netflix pre-Another Life sci-fi offering that was actually good. It’s a pretty classic set-up: a group of mismatched wing-nuts on a spaceship, all of whom have secrets that that will threaten to tear them apart while they try to make contact with an alien life-form. What elevates Nightflyers is just how fuck-uped the cast are. There’s an angry British psychic whose spent his whole life in captivity in case he goes full Scanners on somebody’s head, a guy who only ever appears as a hologram for reasons too twisted to explain here, his evil mother whose uploaded her mind to the ship’s computer and gone batshit crazy, a genetic superbeing and a hacker who can send her mind into computers via a dodgy implant and who may or may not be drifting out of touch with the human condition. It’s great. 6 and half billion out of 7 billion monkeys, boiling in the void.
4. Hardcore Henry No, I don’t know who thought that title was a good idea either, but the point is that Hardcore Henry has no motherfucking right to kick as much arse as it does. It was clearly made on a budget that would embarrass a Youtube shampoo commercial, but it just flat-out rocks. Shot entirely in first-person, it follows the adventures of a mute cyborg as he seeks revenge against the bastard psychic entrepreneur who first built him then tried to kill him. Along the way, his main ally is a dude who keeps dying and coming back to life in a series of identical bodies but with radically different personalities and haircuts (this is eventually explained, but I’m not going to spoil it for you). It’s premise is demented, it’s surprisingly well-choreographed and its soundtrack is an aphrodisiac for your ears. Also, Tim Roth is in it, so that’s just yer seal of quality right there. It came out to a lot of fanfare and many, many cinema trailers back in the day and was then promptly forgotten about as soon as it launched. So I’m dragging it kicking and screaming back into the limelight. It’s on Netflix right now, so go watch it. I rate it a solid 11 out of 15 creepy duplicates of Tim Roth.
5. Upgrade Another lesser-known film about a cyborg. Unlike Henry, however, this cyborg’s life doesn’t so much ‘rock’ as ‘suck balls’. He gets crippled and then ends up with a sentient computer chip in his head that allows him to remote-control his own body despite not having a working spine anymore. Naturally, his experimental tech attracts the attention of some unsavoury characters and he and his brain-chip have to work together to figure out what’s going on, often through a series of ultra-violent, gory fight-scenes that horrify the protagonist himself. Of course, all might be well, except that the head-chip is a homicidal little shit that clearly has its own agenda. I give it at least 0000 0111 out of 0000 1001 painstakingly restored vintage kill-bots.
6. The Tick The Tick isn’t as overlooked as everything else on this list, especially since there have been a couple of previous televised incarnations of the franchise to lay the groundwork. However, I still feel like the modern iteration doesn’t quite get the love it deserves, so I’m throwing it out here. Following the adventures a mad, amnesiac and possibly stupid superhero and his neurotic sidekick, The Tick explores a world where superheroes aren’t the paragons of good from classic comics, the corrupt psychotics of The Boys or Watchmen, or the eternally struggling, walking moral life-lessons of modern cinema. Instead, they’re just ordinary people operating at various levels of competence/incompetence and mental illness and working within a bureaucratic, wildly inefficient framework. That might not sound like a recipe for a successful TV series, but it really is. Drawing out the mundane, human side of heroes and villains against the backdrop of cataclysmic, civilisation-threatening events makes for infinitely compelling and very, very funny viewing. It’s kind of doing for the superhero genre what Futurama did for sci-fi a few years back. It’s also where the phrase and/or popular song ‘seven billion monkeys boiling in the void’ comes from. My rating is four out of five sapient, homosexual boats (which will make sense when you watch it).
7. The Void Amid the high-budget horror extravaganzas of recent years, it’s easy to forget about the void, which feels like the best story H.P. Lovecraft never wrote and looks like David Chronenberg tried to adapt a Heironimous Bosch painting... in the ‘80s. The actual plot concerns a group of people getting trapped in a hospital by murderous cultists and discovering dark secrets and, arguably, a whole other dimension in its basement. You’re not exactly there for the plot though: The Void is a mood-piece and an exercise in visual FX craftsmanship. You’re there to drink in the atmosphere and see what each new cosmic horror looks like. I am delighted to award it ten out of ten unspeakable whisperers in the darkness. That’s enough for two barbershop quartets, an emcee and a supporting act.
8. Happy Death Day It’s Groundhog Day but as a horror film starring a really annoying lass in her late teens has to keep dying horribly until she learns to stop being such a terrible person... and also kill her murderer with a little help from her newly-minted, non-cunty friend. There’s a sequel that I haven’t seen yet, but the original is a low-key, oft-overlooked delight. I give it 9 out of 11 suspiciously similar corpses.
#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer#films#tv shows#movies#Mandy#Baby Driver#Nightflyers#The Tick#The Void#Tick#happy death day#Upgrade
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Stepbrothers, a Thorki fanfic by Magalona
I'm back people ! Lots of work IRL but things are better now and I'm back to what I like ! Enjoy ! Warning : a hard scene at the end...
Not to talk, not to look, not to hear... Loki had turned into the three little monkeys of the legend. The same ones sculpted in jade his father possessed in his priceless collection of Asian art. Not to talk about this wedding, not to look at the preparations, not to hear the hellish nonsense going on around him. Not to say anything. Not to do anything. For, actually, what could he say ? What could he possibly do ?
A situation that was already unbearable was now becoming living hell. The two impostors were now in his house, his MOTHER's house, 24/7. Not that it was a material bother, said house being big enough for eight people, but Loki had to endure their sight, their voice, their stupid selfish happiness on a constant basis. As a result, he had a constant migraine. In fact, at first, no one noticed his growing dissociation, his silences, his secret moodiness. Of course, Loki had become a master in dissimulation. But more than that, the two lovebirds were engrossed in wedding planning, costly flower arrangements, lavish menus, even ridiculous embroidered napkins for an equally ridiculously royally set table. Loki simply wanted to puke each time they were shamelessly smooching each other like horny teenagers. It was even worse when they did it also in front of Thor who gave them an embarrassed but complicit smile that was simply even worse than the smooching session. But the worst of the worst was when Thor turned that same stupid smile to Loki who adverted his eyes most of the times. It made said smile freeze on Thor's lips. Thor was the only one to know Loki's opinion, or at least to care about it. It gave Loki's a sadistic pleasure to see Thor's hopes being constantly crushed by Loki's discreet but cold attitude. Loki simply ignored Thor's sad look each time this little scene occurred. But it was a ridiculously short release compared to the long term issue... Loki could not live under his father's roof anymore. Loki could not bear the idea of having that silly woman taking his mother's place.
Deep inside, he did not actually dislike Fran Odinson. He knew she was a kind, loving woman. But all that kindness and loveliness did not help the fact that she was slowly but surely taking Francesca Laufeyson's rightful place. And the fact that even their names sounded very similar was unbearable to Loki. When his father called her abruptly in a sing-song voice around the house, it made Loki's skin crawl for he was confused about who his father was demanding in such a loving tone. And each time, his memories got messed up and he could almost smell his mother's deep perfume in the air. And each time it broke his heart. Again, what could he do about it ?
Except for the invasion, life went on as it pretty much did. Loki woke up, had breakfast (with Thor most of the time), went to school (and Thor tagged along, of course), spent his day doing the usual courses and work (and tried as much as possible to avoid Thor and his crowd). If he had no good reason to hide at the library, he went home (sometimes he had excuses to text Thor not to wait for him but he could not use them all the time). Evenings were harder because he had no privacy now. He was supposed to go downstairs, be part of this mockery of a family, smile and be polite to avoid his father's wrath, eat at the table, answer questions, participate in the conversation...
And especially, he was avoiding thinking about his father's guns in his special closet...
He was proud of himself for keeping up the facade. It had been months since the proposal and the installation of the two impostors and he had managed to remain discreet. At least, that said a lot about himself. Yet, it didn't solve his problem. What was he supposed to do ? After long and hard thinking the answer for now was nothing. Say nothing, hear nothing, see nothing, do not make any ripple, do not create issues or conflict... Do not antagonize your father, do not raise the suspicions of Thor and his mother...
Wait till you're out of this hell.
He needed to wait till the end of the year. There he would work in an over-seas charity association or business and then enter college. He wouldn't be around this house so much and he would be too busy making a living on his own to play happy families with those people. He was done with his father. Larry had overstepped the boundaries of what was morally tolerable. Courting another woman barely a year after his supposedly beloved wife's death ? Proposing to another while she was still fresh in her grave ? Having this blond airhead and her blond oaf of a son sniffing all over the house like disgusting pets ready to pee on everything Francesca Laufeyson held dear to mark their territory... Bearing their prying and questioning, trying to “bound”, to “share” (Loki wanted to vomit each time he heard those words) with him, intruding on his privacy, on what was left of his mother and his true family... And Larry approved this horror. He even reproached Loki for being so “cold”, so “distant” while Fran and Thor were being “so kind.”
Loki did hope for everyone that his father's guns were so perfectly locked that he would never get a hold on them.
***
In all his musings, there was one thing he couldn't understand. The reason why his father had been so quick in welcoming those two burdens in their life. He understood the need not to be a widower anymore for a man largely in the prime of his life and yet, his despair at Francesca's death had been so brutal and absolute that his raising of the ashes of his dead love was equally baffling. It was as if he was overdoing it. At Fran's beck and call, ready to do all her bidding, fatherly and friendly to her son (whom he barely knew) and, of course, angry at Loki for not doing more effort to participate in this farce. There was something amiss in all his insistence. He knew his father. One tedious evening, he got the answer by accident. It happened that Loki had won the top place in an important math course (though it wasn't his forte, being usually second best) the same day Thor won several crucial matches or something, securing for a very long time his title of super-quarterback or something. Not that Loki cared but he was secretly happy that this homophobic scumbag bully Josh Randall had all his hopes of a scholarship and scouting crushed to the ground for good. Loki remembered Randall harassing some of the younger students, slamming them against the lockers only because the victims looked effeminate (according to him) and moreover because they were frailer than he was and that he could do anything he wanted and escape Scott-free, anyway. According to Loki, he deserved it. But the top grades in math had made Loki happy and mostly because it was an issue with his father, his lack of scientific spirit, he couldn't wait until he told him. Maybe it would fortify some bridges that were in peril of being seriously impaired. Except that Thor had arrived earlier and told Larry and Fran his good news first. Larry brought out the champagne and filled the crystal flutes. Those Loki had not seen in a very long time... His father was red-faced and buoyant. “There you are !” Said Larry spotting Loki in the entrance and holding a half empty flute of champagne. “ Just in time for the whole family to celebrate ! Your brother just won the last series !” And while he was laughing and chatting he paid no attention to Thor and Fran's weird confused faces. Faces Loki was too shocked to notice on his own. Your brother. He had called Thor his brother... Loki found himself lacking air. Now, he knew the reason behind this craziness.
What Larry really wanted was not only not be a widower any more. What he really wanted was a new family. A new wife to replace the ever-present ghost. A new son to replace the failing copy of said ghost. He wanted two replacements to finally feel whole. And the originals were no longer useful for him. The memory of a dead wife and the awkward presence of a resenting son too different from him and too much like her… The ghost. Loki did not make any sound or move. He had to digest this disaster, to hide his shock to avoid unwanted attention and to appear pleased to earn some time to start a plan. Mainly how to get out of here for good. And never to see any of them again. Luckily, after a little uneasiness at Larry's words, they kept on celebrating the hero boy and forgot a bit about his less fortunate counterpart, turned into low-key sidekick. Loki swore himself he would not be degraded into comic relief…
***
As soon as he knew that his purpose was to get accepted in his dream college and to get out of this craziness for sure, Loki was more serene if he wasn't happy in any way… On his side, Thor seemed restless as the days went by and the wedding was coming closer. It was obvious something was on his mind and that he was permanently trying to talk to Loki. But said Loki was not going to help him. He carefully avoided the boy in a subtle way. He was always busy, always dodging. Yet, having Thor under his roof on a constant basis made Loki knew more about him, liked it or not. He was a kind, caring individual, actually trying to get into Loki's good graces. Even a bit discreet which was surprisingly mature and exceptional for someone who got such popularity at school. Speaking about school, that was another part of the problem. Loki discovered himself at the focus of unwanted attention. Word went by that they were stepbrothers-to-be and living under the same roof at the very least. Loki then unwillingly became the next best thing after Thor… Since he was a supposed stepladder to the school football hero. Being friends with Loki, they all presumed, was a way to get closer to Thor. Loki was suddenly surrounded by a pack of greedy, ass-licking jerks, both male and female, and all smelled of desperation and hypocrisy. Loki was invited everywhere, became everybody's friend at a such a speed that it made his head dizzy and only added to his growing dismay. Of course, they were all rejected, sometimes in a rather undiplomatic way. Yet, one of the cheerleader pack, another dolled-up, empty-minded wannabe actress/model, was after Loki (or rather after Thor by proxy…) and meant business. She started an almost aggressive campaign of finesse-lacking flirting. Now Loki had to avoid her in the same time he avoided Thor. Until the day she cornered him near the library and tried to kiss him. Loki had never had any physical interaction with someone that wasn't close to him sentimentally. The attack was so sudden he pushed her out of surprise and she landed on the ground. That wasn't a smart move but this was the last straw. Loki was out of his wits with that girl and her attitude. “What the fuck is wrong with you ?! She screamed, sincerely shocked from his rejection. - Indeed !” He shouted back. “What the fuck is wrong with ME is that I am not a big fan of being sexually harassed ! Especially by people like YOU ! Loki wasn't that direct usually but, again, he was out of patience. The girl broke in tears that Loki thought it at first to be another trick. He knew Trish Feldman and her crew. All of them were the “mean popular girl” cliché. Up to the dark streaks of mascara running down her cheek. She heaved a huge exhausted sigh that surprised Loki. She DID look burned out after all... - Look, I didn't want to embarrass you...” She said. “But you don't know anything about me... - I know enough to tell you that trying to get into my pants won't help you getting into Thor's ! He was becoming aggressive because Trish was starting to act like she needed to talk. And he was in no mood to be a counselor or something. - Har, har, smart boy !” She replied. “You don't understand. You've never been in love, I mean, REALLY in love, with anyone, am I right ? Loki was startled by the retort. Indeed, he had never been in love. When would he have found the time ? Before his mother's death, he was happy and content with an already fulfilled life and thought only about the future. And after her death, well... He was billion years from that kind of things. So no, he had practically no experience in that field, never ever been interested in anyone, and didn't know what to answer to the crying girl. - Right.” She went on, her head down, her voice dropping low. “You don't know what it is to be miserable all the time and pretend to be happy around everyone, everyday. You don't know what it is... to see him everywhere and even in your sleep... And to be nothing to him.” Trish was wrong about the first part. Loki also had to pretend, although for different reasons. Yet, he was mellowing a bit. He had never seen any of the hated golden circle like that, seriously miserable, seriously distraught and absolutely sincere. - So, okay. I was being a bitch but you have absolutely no idea of what it is to be… - ...Part of the popular gang ?” Loki couldn't help but sneer at the spoiled girl's misery. “Well, I have noticed how terrible your lot must feel when you harass the less pretty, less popular girls. All the ‘nerds’” He did the finger gesture to emphasize the word. “ Not to mention the guys… Trish lowered her head. She did not look her usual prideful self. - Okay, I get it. You’re not going to be fooled so let’s stay at that, alright ? Hearing the girl's resigned tone of voice, Loki nodded, a little ashamed of having deepened her obvious wounds. - Look,” He said. “If it's any consolation, your little plan wouldn't have worked, believe me...” He paused, realizing for the first time that he had known it for long. “ Thor's mom is going to marry my dad and he is overprotective of her. Right here, right now, nothing matters more to him than her.” Trish smiled, looking a bit relieved. Loki had guessed right. The girl could swallow a lot more the fact that Thor's mother was his priority. They parted on friendly terms and Loki actually felt a little better. He had the feeling that he had actually helped someone, even though in a small way, even someone who used to be a bully... He felt a little lighter than he had been in a long time.
Until a fist grabbed him violently from behind and slammed him on the wall.
The shock made him see stars first. Then, he saw who was holding him by the arms so tight he could scream with pain. “ Having fun ?” growled the voice that used to be always gentle to him. First, he didn't recognized the crazy bear in front of him. The blue eyes that were always shining and kind were now almost red with rage. The blond, silky hair were now an angry mane. That same mouth that was always praying Loki for more kindness towards everyone was now a snarl, a grimace of pure fury, displaying white pointy teeth like a fighting bull. Thor, it was Thor but a Thor Loki had never seen, never suspected he existed. A Thor that looked ready to kill him. - Answer me !!” Thor yelled. “ What are you doing with that bitch ?!” Loki's brain was moving like a crazy clock. What ? What ? Whaaaaat ? The HELL ? What was he talking about ? What was wrong with him ?! It was difficult to hear what Thor was saying (screaming more like it) not to mention the fact that his forearms were really starting to burn. Thor shook him again and made hit the wall a second time. Loki was frozen with shock. This was madness. - So, I am not even worthy to talk to but you're all lovey-dovey with a WHORE ?! The fuck is wrong with you ? -I... I.... Part of Loki wanted to punch Thor in his lower parts for talking like that but the other part was incapable of moving, of saying anything, terrified like a trapped rabbit surrounded bdogs. - What can SHE do better than ME ? What does SHE have that I DON'T ?! He was now throwing his yelling face into Loki's, his body crushing Loki's, making it almost impossible to breather, to move, to think... Loki was now feeling like he was five again, surrounded by the bullies that didn't know yet who his father was, on his first day at school. - TELL ME !! What am I supposed to do to make you NOTICE me ?! Thor was now totally glued to Loki's body like a furnace and his ragged breath was burning Loki's neck. Loki was feeling faint and weak in the legs. Thor could have killed him right away and Loki could not make the faintest move to protect himself. Please... Even Loki's voice was no more than a whisper. Brutally, Thor's right hand left Loki's arm to grab his wrist and not in a more gentle way. Loki gasped, now in real terror and confusion. Look, for god's sake ! Do you want more PROOF ?! And Thor slammed Loki's hand on his crotch. It was like feeling a rock. Loki snapped. - Stop ! STOP IT ! YOU'RE HURTING ME !! And as brutally as it has started, it stopped. Loki fell on the ground, shaking. Thor, still standing took a step backward. Loki slowly raised his head, fearing another blow, needing to see if that insane creature was indeed his stepbrother-to-be. It was another Thor, one whose mouth and eyes were ridiculously opened in horror. A totally distraught little abuser. Another change of personality that Loki was incapable to understand in the state he was in. - I... I am sorry.. I...” He blabbered. “Not as sorry as you're going to be...” would have been an answer worthy of Loki's usual eloquence but now his mind was empty, unable to form a coherent thought. - I won't... I swear I... “ He stammered again, walking backward again “I am sorry !”
And Thor, Mr. N°One, the Mighty Thor, ran pitiously away from his victim. Loki was left, crouching against the wall, eyes dry but shaking like a leaf and his body burning.
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Hot Take on Why Steve Rogers’ Ending Doesn’t Make Sense
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: hey you want to read my 1,000+ word essay on why Steve Rogers’ Endgame ending makes 0 sense?????
Now, to preference, I am a Stucky stan, I have been since I first started watching Marvel. However, this is not written from a fandom, shipper perspective, but rather only canon and facts, from the perspective of a person who has a best friend they would do anything for and who’s entire life and therapy/mental health history revolves around moving on and not living in the past. Also, I love Peggy, she is probably my favorite female MCU character, and she has been for a long time, Peggy/Steve is also my favorite of the main romance relationships in the MCUl (Tony/Pepper, Thor/Jane, Bruce/Betty, Peter Q/Gamora, etc). Now, onto the essay.
Steve’s story revolves around Bucky. A statement that might take a bit looking into to fully convince you is accurate, so let’s look at the movies.
The First Avenger. Let’s be honest, Steve is a stubborn bastard, rather Bucky was there or not, Steve would have found a way to enlist, Bucky wasn’t apart of this part. Yet, even after the serum, Steve wasn’t in the battle, he was traveling and being a ‘show monkey’. He hated it, yet didn’t have the ability and/or motivation to change this and finally prove himself. What got him on the front lines? Learning Bucky’s unit was captured, Bucky included, and going against all orders to save Bucky and the other soldiers. Bucky was the driving force that got Steve to prove he was able to serve, if Steve hadn’t gone after the 107, he likely wouldn’t have reach the front lines until much later if at all. Now, after Bucky dies Steve says something interesting: “I won’t stop until all of HYDRA is either dead or captured”, a very stark difference from his original “I don’t want to kill anybody.” Bucky’s death was a trigger for Steve, who changed from “killing isn’t the only option” to “I will kill them all.”
Winter Soldier. I don’t need to explain this one to say the title is literally Steve Rogers: Bucky Barnes. From the unmasking, to just the sight of Steve allowing Bucky to break some of HYDRA’s conditioning, to Steve refusing to fight Bucky, it’s easy to see how much Steve and Bucky mean to one another, how important they are to each other, and how intertwined their stories are.
Civil War. It was shown Bucky was Steve’s weakness before hand, but Civil War really nailed it in. From the beginning scene with Steve freezing after Bucky being mentioned to Steve bringing Bucky to Wakanda to heal, Civil War is constantly showing us how Steve does everything he can to keep Bucky safe, even from his friends and allies. Now, one could argue Bucky was the cause of the Civil War, though it was indirectly. Steve freezing following Rumlow mentioning Bucky caused Steve to not be able to contain him, which gave Rumlow enough time to blow himself up in which Wanda threw him into the building which caused the deaths that began the Accords. Once again we are met with Bucky, though this one is Zemo pretending to be Bucky in order to put the blame of the UN explosion on him. After being told Bucky’s location, Steve goes to protect him from T’Challa and the authorities, which leads to a fight where Steve fights by Bucky’s side. Following the arrest of Steve, Bucky, Sam, and T’Challa, Zemo poses as a psychiatrist and sends Bucky on a rampage, where Steve manages to sneak Bucky away with Sam’s help. From there we see Steve form a team after no one believes them about Bucky’s innocence, and then the two of them going after Zemo, where they are met by Tony and form a temporary truce until it’s revealed Bucky, while under HYDRA’s control, killed Tony’s parents. From there we enter a fight, where Steve didn’t hesitate to fight against Tony, his friend and teammate, in order to protect Bucky. In addition, you can see how much harder Steve fights after Tony blows off Bucky’s arm. Once the fight is over, Steve leaves with Bucky, dropping the shield and with it the Captain America mantle. No matter how much it must have hurt, Steve supports Bucky in his decision to go into cryogenic sleep until a cure is found for his brainwashing.
Steve spends most of the MCU losing Bucky and then chasing Bucky, so why, after so many years of this, would he leave the moment he finally has Bucky again? And this time for good?
Steve’s entire story theme is moving on. It’s seen in nearly every movie he’s in, including Endgame, where one of our first scenes with him is him leading a therapy group about moving on and not living in the past. Does this rule just not apply to Steve? To live in the present instead of the past because the past can only hurt our future? The entire message of Steve’s character is focus on the present, don’t live in the past, and instead look towards the future, it has been built up since his entrance to the MCU, why would he erase all of it to return to the past? Going against the entire point of his journey?
Now, if anyone deserves to be a bit selfish, it’s Steve; who always seems to put someone else above himself. Yet, he knew Peggy had gotten married, had kids, and lived a very happy life. He knew Peggy, despite Steve’s ‘death’, had moved on and lived without allowing it to bring her back. Instead of accepting this, he instead went back to the past and built a life with Peggy, ignoring her husband and children and how happy she was with her life. It’s not like it’s impossible for Steve to be happy in the future, with Bucky, Sam, and the Avengers. He could have gotten married and had children with anyone, continued the life he’d been building since waking up from the ice, yet he didn’t, as if he believed the only way to have a happy life was with Peggy and no one else, even if it meant leaving behind everything he’d done and everyone he had met during his years in the 21st century, including his best friends Bucky and Sam. Obviously he didn’t leave forever, but the Steve that came back was very different, both in body and mind.
Speaking from experience, I couldn’t imagine leaving my best friend, everything I’ve done, for the chance to redo a past I messed up, to have a different chance at happiness with a person I once loved. My entire life revolves around the idea of moving on, looking towards the future, focusing on the present, and not living in the past, much like Steve’s does.
The future built up for Steve, of moving on and living in the present instead of the past, was a major theme of the MCU for many characters. Everyone else managed to do it, Wanda after Pietro and Vision, Pepper after Tony, Clint after Natasha, Bruce after Betty and the Hulk, Bucky after his time as the Winter Soldier, Thor after losing everyone and his home, but Steve, who reinforced the idea constantly, instead of following through, took the first opportunity he had and ignored every part of what he’s told everyone else to do, leaving the present, forgetting the future, and living back in the past without thought.
#avengers#marvel#steve rogers#captain america#endgame ending#avengers endgame#marvel endgame#endgame spoilers#peggy carter#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#sam wilson#winter soldier#civil war#first avenger#marvel cenimatic universe#you’d be correct by saying i lack a life#this was just for fun and a way to rant a but dont take it too seriously#cause i know you guys and some Marvel fans are fucking crazy
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