#NOT @ SPOTIFY FOR PLAYING BABY DON'T CRY

[gremlin-girly]

🚀 Space Cakes 🚀

Banner by me, made in Canva w/ Jake's and the brownie's pics sourced on Pinterest. The specific brownie is a called cosmic brownie and I highly recommend you try them (fudgy brownies with m&ms/smarties!!)

Jake Jensen x curvy!f!reader

WARNING: This fic not only contains smut but also consumption/use of marujuana. If that's not your bread and butter (or if you are a minor) please do not read. Not beta'd and I don't give permission for my work to be reposted, translated, copied or put through AI!

Additional Warnings/tags: Jake being high, Jake being a dork, Jake being adorable, friends to lovers bc I can't help myself, breast/nipple play, oral (f recieving), vaginal fingering, clit play/teasing, squirting, p-in-v (wrap it!!), creampie, sofa sex again (woo!), overstimulation, crying from overstimulation, (accidental) pleasure!dom!Jake, pussy drunk Jake (when is he not though?), needy Jake, multiple orgasm (RIP your sofa), dub-con kinda, petnames (baby, sweetheart), lil bit of possessiveness teehee

Summary: After eating two brownies, Jake goes on a trip with you by his side.

Word count: 4.8k

Dividers by: @/thecutestgrotto Banners by: @/saradika-graphics

A/N: The image on the left is that of a cosmic brownie (and you can find the recipe for said picture here) since space cakes tend to be any cake variety. This was the first fic I wrote for the collection, but Ari one the poll. ENJOY 😈Forget-me-not Blues will be out tomorrow xxx

Also, not an ad, but if you guys wanna smell like cinnamon rolls - Mallows beauty cinnamon swirl body oil. It's sparkly and smells divine... and was the inspiration for this ;)

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Three day weekends were your favourite thing in the world. You'd wake up late, make yourself your favourite breakfast before beginning your self care ritual.

Occasionally, it starts with baking a batching of extra special brownies; if there's none left in your freezer. Boring box mix elevated with a shot of coffee, eggs and extra chocolate chips. Not forgetting your melted cannabutter to make them special.

Once the brownies are out of the oven and marked into twelve equal squares, you can go about enjoying the rest of your day, starting with your weed-kend ritual.

The ritual begins with you washing your face with warm water before picking out a face mask whilst your brownies bake. Today, you choose a bentonite clay mask that smells like a strawberry milkshake, setting a timer to wash it off and take your brownies from the oven.

Then you go upstairs to shower. You give yourself the works; washing and conditioning your hair with a hair mask, shaving your legs and underarms. You're singing along to more of your favourite songs as you wait for the timer for your hair, thinking of how to plan the rest of your day. You'd get out the shower, moisturise, maybe paint your nails and set up a movie before eating a brownie and ordering a big, fat take out when the munchies kicked in.

Oh these long weekends were good.

If only you had someone to share them with.

When you exit the steamy shower you notice a text on your phone from your friend Jake

Jensen 12:06

Hey! Hope your weekend is going well so far 🤠 Could I stop by later and drop off the games you lent me? They were a hit with the guys 🤠😎

You smile down at your phone. Seeing friends on your long weekends wasn't uncommon but today you'd wanted very limited social interaction and with Jake around it was unlikely to happen.

However, this was also Jake. Your favourite person in the world who loved using cowboy emojis and making you laugh. So long as he stopped by before you planned to scoff a brownie you'd be okay. Maybe you'd even offer him one.

You 12:08

Sure. Stop by before 5pm and I'll be here. ☺️

Jensen 12:08

:-)

You snort at his response and open your Spotify to your favourite mix of songs and pick up your new body oil from your bedside table. Cinnamon Swirl body oil smelled as good as it sounded and now you did too.

Once oiled and smelling divine you reach for your fluffy pyjama shorts and tank, feeling like the human equivalent to a pastry; fluffy, warm and smelling oh-so delicious, you headed downstairs to watch a movie while you waited patiently for Jake to arrive.

Jake arrives around three in the afternoon.

You're greeted by his smiling face when you open the door.

"Hey you," You grin, stepping aside to let him in.

"Hey." He bundles inside, almost tripping as he's distracted by your ass in your pyjama shorts as you close the door behind him.

You hold out your arms for the board games. "Gimme those, I'll go put 'em upstairs."

"You sure?" He asks as he places them into your arms, suppressing a shiver when your hands brush his. You peek up over the boxes at him. Even in your PJs you looked so damn adorable.

"Sure I'm sure. You know where the kitchen is, get yourself a soda or something." You wink, heading up the stairs with the boxes. "I'll be two minutes!"

Jake wanders into your small kitchen like he'd done so many times before, thinking about how he should broach the topic of asking you on a date. You were good together; he liked spending time with you, you liked spending time with him. Any little excuse he could use to see you he'd take it and anything to see that sweet smile of yours he'd gladly do.

The scent of brownies pulled him away from his thoughts of you and leaning past the fridge door he spotted the chocolatey goodness that seemed angelically highlighted before him. Your baking was top notch and the last brownies he'd had hadn't lasted two days in his home. He closed the fridge and picked up one; chomping it in two bites.

The face Jake pulled at the flavour was a cross between a grimace and utter disgust. It was thick and strong; all the excellent elements of a good brownie but tainted with a sickening taste that made him want to throw up.

So he ate a second in case it was just one bad brownie.

The result was exactly the same, unsurprising to everyone but his lovely self, but whilst he was contemplating how brownies could be this bad you reappeared from your board-game-putting-away duties.

"Jake," you begin eyes widening as you look at the brownie tray. "How many did you eat?"

"Oh... heh... well-"

"How many?" You urge growing more panicked.

"Like two. I think." He shrugs sheepishly. "Sorry, you know I love your baking."

"Ohmygod." You groan, covering your face with your hands. So much for a quiet weekend.

"I'm sorry Y/N. Were they special or something? I can help you make more." You peek at Jake through your fingers and he looks wrecked thinking he's upset you and you bite back a grin.

"Oh, they were special alright." You say, hiding your smile with a hand. "They were space cakes."

Jake blinks at you in confusion and you roll your eyes playfully.

"They're weed brownies, Jake."

His mouth hangs open, he points to the brownies, to you and then himself in a dramatic miming of "Them? For you? I ate them?"

"Um... okay." Jake sighs, hands on his hips. "I didn't want to tell you they tasted gross so I'm glad there's a reason."

"Why did you eat two then?" You snort and Jake smiles.

"I thought the second one would taste nicer."

You shake your head at him with a grin; your worry slowly fading. Jake would probably feel funny but ultimately fall asleep and you tell him as much.

"I've got plenty of snacks too, but maybe we can order a pizza when you get the munchies."

Jake nods, exhaling loudly. "Hooo boy. Okay. This is fine."

"Hey," you pat his bicep reassuringly and give him a smile. "I'll be with you the entire time. I'll stay sober and watch over you."

Jakes nervous smile falters as he takes a deep breath, admiring the features of your face. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Thanks."

An hour later, Jake's brain was a smushed mess.

You'd insisted he lie on the sofa which started off as him lying one end and you on the other but over the course of the hour, he’d entirely encroached on your personal space. He’d ended up with his arms wrapped around you as he lay on top of you, anchoring himself to you and you'd allowed it because, well, you wanted him to be as calm and comfortable as possible since he was in for a wild ride tonight.

And because was the most perfect weighted blanket in the history of ever.

You'd put on some random comedy although, honestly, you weren't paying much attention. Your legs were tangled beneath Jake's with one hand resting against his back, the other absently raking through his blond spikes. This was a different kind of high altogether.

Survive the night, you tell yourself, admiring the man snuggled on top of you. Then figure out next steps.

Giggles erupted out of Jake suddenly, startling you from your thoughts.

"What are you laughing at?" You chuckle, running a hand through his hair absently. Jake's giggles only come harder, his whole body shaking as he snorts against you. Jake pants trying to catch his breath but starts laughing again as soon as he opens his mouth to speak.

You're grinning down at him now, his laughter is infectious and you're trying so hard to hold back your own laugh to figure out what set him off. However, when he buries his face into your chest to suppress a howl of laughter it immediately sets you off.

Your body begins to shake as you start laughing along with him. "What?"

His laughter dies down and he heaves heavy breaths as he looks up at you, red faced and grinning goofily with tear streaks running down his face.

"I don't know." He whispers, stifling another giggle. "That guy in the movie fell over and it - it -" He buries his face again to stop himself from laughing, only small giggles slipping through.

You chuckle a little and go back to stroking his hair. Jake sighs heavily as your fingers delicately massage the crown of his head. His face is half turned to watch the TV with puffy eyes and he's moulded his body to yours, his cheek squished against your boobs.

"Your boobs are comfy." He comments nonchalantly.

"Thank you." You grin, allowing your heart one little skip of excitement before turning back to the movie. After a few moments, Jake speaks again.

"Why haven't we done this before?"

"Done what? Get high together?"

"No," he huffs softly. "Cuddle."

"Well, I guess we've never really - um - talked about it."

"We can talk about it now."

Your lips twitch upwards. "You won't remember."

"Will too."

"Jake." You warn.

"Y/N." He sasses back. "You're comfy. I'm comfy. Your boobs are soooo comfy." He nuzzles against them, face first. His nose brushes along the edge of your tank, nudging the swell of your breast.

Your skin explodes into gooseflesh and your try to focus yourself, chanting that's he's not in his right mind over and over in your head. You genuinely think it won't go further; you know what it's like to admire soft things when you're high, which is why you were in fuzzy pyjamas to begin with. But when you feel his lips press a kiss against your skin you squeak.

"Jake!"

"Huh?" He looks up at you slowly, his brain in a daze. You're blushing furiously and you can feel warmth grow where it definitely shouldn't be right now. "What? You smell so good too."

When you don't argue with him he sinks further down your body, trailing tender kisses down your chest to the small exposure of skin between your pyjama top and the waistband of your fuzzy pyjama shorts that hug your hips.

"Cinnamony and warm and soft." He murmurs between kisses "Like a cinnamon roll."

He nuzzles against your skin, his goatee tickling you and making you squeal with laughter. Jake's hands run down your sides to hold your hips, keeping you in place. You can feel the cool metal of his glasses against your skin, and how he's smiling as he peppers more kisses along your stomach, on every inch of skin he can find.

"Jake." You sigh his name as your head falls back against the arm of the sofa. You can't tell if you want him to stop or continue, each kiss making your skin tingle and your stomach swoop.

You shriek in surprise when his hot tongue glides up to your sternum, pushing your shirt up with him.

Jake smacks his lips with confused delight. "You taste like one too."

Giggling, you cup his cheeks in your palms, guiding his face to look at you. He melts into your palms, letting his cheeks push up so he can give you a dopey chipmunk expression that earns him another laugh. Behind his glasses his blue eyes are red-rimmed and glisten with adoration when they meet yours. Your heart beats frantically as you try to smile sweetly at him.

"Fuck it." You huff. "C'mere."

You cup his face and bring it closer to yours, smashing your lips against his hungrily. To your surprise, Jake doesn't seem shocked, immediately melting into the kiss as if it were second nature; like you'd be doing this for a lot longer than thirty seconds. His goatee tickles at your skin but you're too lost in his taste, the scent of his funky aftershave fills your nostrils but on your tongue he tastes like chocolate and weed. It's a strange combination of flavours but you think it just might be your new favourite.

Jake's hands wander up and down your sides as he shifts on top of you, eagerly kissing you back. Tonight was going better than planned. The cotton-wool-brain that edibles gave you was nothing compared to the high Jake was giving you. You shift your legs against his, the rough of his jeans against your soft oiled legs a delicious contrast, especially when you can feel how hard, and big, his cock is as he lies on top of you.

"Ah fuck, I always imagined you'd taste sweet." Jake murmurs against your lips, pushing his body into yours.

"Really?" You giggle back, biting your lips to hold back a smug grin.

Jake nods enthusiastically, dislodging his glasses so they hang haphazardly off his face. You fix them for him as he continues to talk, smoothing your hands across his face.

"And if I'm right about that," He mumbles against your lips. "Then I bet I'm right about you having the sweetest pussy on the planet too."

"Christ," you sigh, feeling your clit throb at his confession. Jake lifts his head slightly, his expression is sheepish but his skin is fire engine red with embarrassment.

"Aw, shit. Sorry. That was supposed to stay inside my head."

"That's alright." You peck his lips again and wiggle your hips to get comfortable beneath him, his cock nestled against your thighs and stomach. "Keep going."

Jake let's out a breathy sigh as you shift. "I can?"

You nod and he breaks into a grin, fixing his position, cementing you against his body as he moves to kiss you again; hands freely wandering and groping all flesh it can find. His hands inch higher and higher until he's finally able to graze a pebbled nipple under your top. You jump at the sensation with a short gasp hearing a murmured "Sorry" from Jake as he does it again before cupping your tit entirely and giving it a squeeze.

Jake's hand continues to squeeze and massage your tits before he drags his thumbs across your nipples as he kisses you, repeating the motion over and over when you moan into the kiss, watching your eyes flutter against your flushed rosy cheeks.

When you stifle a moan, he tweaks it instead, watching your face contort with pleasure. He continues for a while, teasing your nipples and cupping the soft flesh until he pinches a little too hard.

"Ow," you hiss when he pinches too hard, grimacing slightly. It half snaps you out of your growing stupor.

"'M sorry, baby." Jake coos. "Here, let me kiss it better."

Before you can stop him, his head is under your top kissing and sucking at your abused nipple, his other hand capturing your unattended tit and squeezing it like he had for your left. One of your hands threads into his hair, the other grips his shoulder as he swirls your nipple with his tongue. Lustful brain fog starts to creep in as you shift under him again, arching your back slightly as he continues to shower your tits with attention.

"What? Your boobs are so perfect. Just had to kiss 'em." He pecks at your left nipple before going to your right. "I've always wanted to suck 'em too."

"Jake." You pant, squeaking as he tweaks your right nipple now, grazing his thumb over the hard nub. He releases your left breast with a wet pop and when he raises his head to look at you, you can see his shiny spit all over your skin. The cool air of the room doesn't help the hardness of your nipples nor does Jake's continuous squeezing.

You let out a long sigh trying to compose yourself but the need for him is becoming too overwhelming to ignore. After the way he's made your panties a mess just by sucking your tits, you don't think you could refuse him anything else; especially with how with tongue had swirled around your nipple...

He mumbles something into your tits that you can't make out and you look down at him.

"Hmm?"

"Eat. You. Out." He breathes, peeking up at you, his glasses fogged with condensation. "Please? I just wanna taste."

"Christ, Jensen." You hiss but his eyes don't leave yours. "You're high as a kite this can't be a good idea."

"If you think I'll regret it in the morning, just ask me to do it again." He pleads with a pouting expression. "Hell, I'd let you sit on my face all day if you asked me."

You stare at him wide eyed. Your chest constricts and you can feel said pussy squeezes around nothing.

"Really?"

"Really really." He looks up at you dreamily. "I love thinking about how hot you'd look cumming over my face."

Your chest thuds and you swallow thickly, trying to remind yourself not to think with your clit right now. However, as always, Jake has to open his big mouth again. "Oh. Oops." Jake says blinking slowly. "That was another inside thought I think." When Jake gives you another one of those cute, goofy smiles your resolve crumbles. Your poor pussy is aching for his cock and you are in no position to be turning it down. Plus he did say please.

You sigh and nod. "O-okay. Sure."

Jake's demeanour suddenly shifts up a gear, far more excited than you'd ever seen him and it makes heat rise up your neck.

"You're sure?" He asks, squeezing at your hips.

"You said I could ask you to do it again," You tease back quietly, your cheeks burning so hot you could most definitely fry eggs on them. "I think I may take you up on it if you're good."

Jake's nostrils flare and his eyes blow into saucers. "I did. I meant it. I swear to God 'm gonna make you feel so good baby."

Jake wastes no time in tugging your pyjama shorts down to your ankles along with your damp panties. As he moves your legs out wider, on impulse you keep them closed causing Jake to pout at you. You can feel the cool air kissing at your thighs and your clit tingles when you think about how not only will Jake see your leaking cunt but taste it too.

"I can't eat when your legs are closed." Jake whines, pushing at your knees gently. "Open up."

His eyes are pleading but he's still being so sweet that you concede with a small smile. As your legs fall open before him, you catch the hungry look he's giving your pussy and the way he licks his lips. He's practically drooling at the sight, sending shockwaves of pleasure to all of the right places. "You okay?" You ask when he's not moved.

His eyes flicker to yours. "Yeah. You just -..." He trails and shrugs off a small laugh. "You've got the prettiest pussy I've ever seen."

Heat surges and you fight back a slew of curses at the compliment.

"Right now it's all yours."

"I... Yeah, I know." He sounds so bewildered, even when he drags an index finger through your warm folds up towards your clit. You gasp at the suddenness, but it quickly devolves into panting when he begins to circle your clit with his thumb. your body jerks at his touch but takes seconds for you to unravel. Clearly, him making out with you and playing with your tits had you wound up so much you were ready to cum already.

Jake shuffles down, kissing each of your thighs before swiping his tongue the same way his finger had. His strong arms loop under your thighs and hold them open as he laps at your cunt like there's no tomorrow.

"Oh fuck yes." He rumbles against your clit. "So sweet for me."

He latches onto your clit before you can respond, suckling gently at first before rolling your sensitive pearl on his tongue. He only ever breaks to drag breathy stripes up your slit before burying himself back at your clit. You cum so quickly you don't even know it's happening until your hips jerk upwards into his mouth and you shout his name, not that it deters Jake in the slightest, who continues to sweetly kiss and lick your dripping hole and clit like they're the best dessert he could have asked for. His arms push you thighs apart further so he can make out with your pussy at a far better angle.

You're back on edge moments later, gripping his short blond hair like a lifeline when you cum again, his arms stopping you from wriggling away from him when the pleasure becomes too overwhelming for you to handle. You can half hear your own voice moaning his name mixed with curses as your back arches off the sofa and you almost cum a third time when you feel a finger slip inside you, curling against that spongy spot.

Sweat makes your hair stick to your skin and you can't focus as Jake keeps you on that edge longer this time. Time has bled away and you've completely surrendered yourself to this position; the pleasure almost too much with your clit throbbing angrily, begging for another release.

"Jake pleeease." You whine desperately, your need for orgasm orgasm growing as he sucks and slurps at your clit noisily.

"I know, I know." He mumbles, licking through your folds. "I'm being greedy. I want another one."

Your eyes roll so far back you're sure you see the puddle your brain has become. He slips another finger into your cunt, not only curling both fingers but pumping them vigorously, forcing you to cum hard over his face and fingers with a keen of his name.

Without removing his fingers, relishing in how your pussy convulses around his fingers, he sits back to admire his handiwork. You're a hot mess. Your cunt is shiny with cum and spit but Jake's eyes are wide with a drunken hunger, licking his lips as his thumb brushes over your swollen clit. You moan loudly and your pussy twitches and trembles at his touch, just like how his cock does at the sight and sound of you.

No words are needed as Jake undoes his belt with one hand, easily working the fly of his jeans down too. The touch of your hand on his hard cock makes him hiss as you help him guide it to your drenched cunt. You both suck in a breath at the same time as the head of his cock breaches your tight hole and Jake stops.

"Fuck...." He whispers, looming over your body. "Jesus Christ I might cum already. You feel amazing." When he bottoms out fully, he looks down to your connected bodies, his cock twitching against your velvet walls and you struggle to keep your moans to yourself.

"Look at that baby," he coos. "You're a perfect fit."

Your eyes flutter, hands blindly reaching for his shoulders to pull him back to you. Your eyes meet his and you're done for, fingers curling into the hair on the nape of his neck as you drag him down to meet your lips in a hungry kiss. He swallows every sound you offer him, beginning to move his hips against yours in a steady motion. His tongue tastes like your cum and a hint of chocolate and it drives you feral, hooking a leg over his hips to allow him deeper into your aching pussy. You know it won't take long to cum again and tell him as much.

"Keep making all those pretty noises." He urges, trailing kisses along your neck. "Be nice and loud for me."

You keen his name helplessly, eyes half lidded in ecstastatic pleasure, clawing at his back and squeezing his hips with your legs.

"Hey now," Jake trails kisses against your neck and you can feel the curve of his smile against your skin. "No fair. I can feel your pussy milking me and trying to make me cum."

"Mmhmm, made for your cock." You whimper pathetically, thoughts running wild with lust, hands clawing blindly at his back under his cartoon tee. "Just please please please cum."

"Made for me, huh?" Jake sighs wistfully, filling you to the brim slowly enjoying the way your ruined cunt still spasms and welcomes him in. "Damn fuckin' straight you are."

Your pussy convulses at his cursing, so unused to hearing filthy, possessive praise tumble from his lips. You're used to his terrible flirting, to his cheesy pick up lines and his general dorkiness that made your heart flutter. His awkwardness was what made Jake Jake.... but this side of him had your pussy soaked and brain mangled beyond comprehension. You were feral for this confident rendition of the guy you'd been crushing on.

"Jake I can't take anymore please," you beseech him, torn between sobbing at the overstimulation and cumming again. "Please cum!"

"Just like that," He growls, rutting into you harder, the continuous schlick of his cock repeatedly burying itself deep within your soaked, ruined pussy making you squeeze harder and moan loudly.

"Gimme one more, baby." Jake urges, fucking into you faster and peppering your dazed face with soft kisses. "One more and I promise I'll cum with you."

"Mmngh - please."

"Uh huh. You've been so patient, I've just gotta have one more so I can fill you up."

"Oh fuck!" you grip his shoulders like a vice as your orgasm wracks your body so hard all the breath is stolen from your lungs. Your cunt gushes and your thighs tremble, your moan sounding more like a choked sob of Jake's name. As promised Jake follows not long after with a loud groan, painting your walls white and letting your pussy milk him dry before collapsing on top of you, heaving breaths.

You're half dazed, the heat of the room unbearable. You need about three dozen cold showers to wash away the sin your bodies have wreaked.

And maybe a new sofa.

"Oh man," Jake mumbles, his body radiating heat and a silky sheen of sweat. "You felt - You were -"

He takes a shaky inhale and sighs, sinking further onto you, his softening cock still nestled inside you. His brain was clearly struggling to keep up with everything that had just transpired and you chuckle, wrapping your arms loosely around his torso and melting into the sofa.

You're pretty sure you both fall asleep for a good twenty minutes, although since you weren't timing how long Jake was fucking you for and your phone wasn't in reach it may have been even longer.

When you finally blink awake, you still feel bone-tired and legless, not helped by Jake's weight on you.

"We should shower." You whisper after a few moments, drawing circles over Jake's back, his head nestled between your boobs.

"Mmh. Probably." He says, voice quiet and muffled. You peek down and start to grin.

"You don't want to move do you?"

"No. I'm comfy."

"Even if I said we'd shower together?"

Jake untangles himself from you quickly and helps you to your feet, keeping you steady when your jellified legs wobble. With his hands in a gentle grasp around your waist he follows you upstairs to the bathroom, his hands never leaving your hips and the both of you smiling stupidly.

Turning on the shower is slightly more difficult when there's soft kisses to your shoulders and neck distracting you and any playful swats are wilfully ignored. Warm water streams down your bodies and you can't remember the last time you felt so relaxed until today; even with a space cake.

Jake's kisses make their way to your cheeks and the arms around you constrict a little tighter, making you giggle gleefully and your heart thunder slowly, your body too tired for any more excitement.

"Hey you," you chuckle dreamily, leaning back into him. "You've just had your fill."

"I know," he sighs, resting his head on your shoulder. "But I just can't get enough of you."

You peek a glance at him when he squeezes you and burst into laughter. In his excitement to shower with you he'd forgotten to remove his glasses, and they'd fogged up, making him look extra goofy.

"What?" He pouts. "I'm being honest!"

"No, goofball." You snort, gently pulling his glasses off his nose. "You looked stupid with your glasses all fogged up."

"Oh," he bites back a dopey smile and blinks water out of his eyes.

"I can't get enough of you either." You add quietly, standing on tip toes to kiss his lips sweetly.

"You can't?" He beams down at you, eyes twinkling.

You nod firmly. "Nope and I'm very glad you fucked my brains out. I say we watch another movie and cuddle... actually maybe we should put a towel down first."

"Ah but Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really hungry." Jake looks sheepishly at you. "Can we order some pizza now?"

End

Taglist

@stargazingfangirl18 | @bridgetina | @irishhappiness

Tag yourself here.

[delicatebarness]

cry baby | chapter sixteen

Summary: Steve, meet...

Warning: Again, no Bucky in this chapter. Protective Big Brother Steve. Oh, and like a little mention of John Walker.

Word Count: 1137

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A/N: I'm having a day off from Cry Baby tomorrow, how many chapters is that in 2 days now? DON'T LOOK AT THE TAGS IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as it is mine. - B

Tags: @buckys0whore | @thezombieprostitute | @lanabuckybarnes | @mishkatelwarriorgoddess | @softieekayy | @noonespecial90 | @hello-therree | @randomawesomeperson102 | @whoreforbarnes | @thejutvtsupport | @somnorvos | @cjand10 | @plasticbottleholder | @birdenthusiastez

The anticipation built up in your chest as you paced your apartment, exchanging nervous glances toward Peter. He was sitting on your couch, with Alpine curled on his lap. You couldn’t understand how he was so calm about today: Today marked a pivotal moment– the first meeting between Peter and Steve. 

A few weeks had passed since you first met Peter, and after a few dates, the connection between you two was deepening rapidly. You were edging towards a boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic, and he was eager to become a part of your life. He even expressed his desire to meet your friends. 

As you and Peter discussed meeting your friends, you opened up about their significance in your life and their ‘contributions’ to the community. With animated gestures, you drew pictures of your friends’ personalities and the roles they play in the group dynamic. Peter, as always, listened attentively, showing his genuine interest by the way he leaned forward, hanging on your every word. 

After deliberation, you both agreed that meeting Steve first would be the best option. Given Steve is the most protective, and your older brother, his approval carried notable weight. 

“Hey,” Steve greeted as the door swung open, his familiar presence filling the small makeshift entryway. He caught you pacing, pulling you into a quick hug. “So, where’s this Parker kid I’ve been hearing about?”

“Living room,” you mumbled, stepping aside to reveal Peter. He was now standing, gently pacing Alpine on the couch. “Stevie, this is Peter,” you introduced, gesturing between them. “Peter, this is my brother, Steve.” 

Peter extended his hand confidently. “Nice to meet you, Steve.” 

Steve shook Peter’s hand firmly, sending him a slight nod of approval. “Nice to meet you too, Peter.” 

You led them to the living room, the light of the early evening sun streamed in from the curtains, casting a soft warm glow over your space. Steve took his regular position in the armchair, while Peter sat back on the couch. 

Heading to the kitchen, your head buzzed with nerves and excitement. You had never ‘brought a guy home’ to meet anyone, especially Steve before, it felt surreal. 

As you pulled the fridge door, your eyes landed on the small handwritten note stuck with a magnet. “You’re the heart of the family, Sweetheart.” Seeing the note brought a bittersweet smile to your face. You missed him, you missed the warmth of his friendship that now felt distant. 

Ever since he started dating, Leah, it seemed like you barely saw him anymore. And, when you did, it was as if you barely knew him. 

With a sigh, you pulled the fridge door fully open, you pulled two bottles of beer and a bottle of cherry cola. 

As you reentered the living room, you passed the men their beers, apologizing for it being all you had. Neither of them minded, both thanking you as you sat beside Peter.

Steve had been asking Peter about his job and interests, and Peter spoke enthusiastically about his work and shared some interesting stories. You felt a sense of relief as the conversation continued, Steve occasionally nodding and injecting with questions.

“So, Peter,” Steve began, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “What made you want to be with my little sister?” 

“Steve!” you exclaimed, shaking your head at him. 

Peter glanced at you, his expression softened before turning back to Steve. “Besides her obvious beauty and talent,” he began, causing you to blush and receive a small eye roll from Steve. “It’s her compassion, I’m sure you already know this, but, she has this incredible ability to see the best in people and situations, and that truly resonates with me.” 

Steve’s gaze was piecing, fixed on Peter, he listened intently and mentally evaluated every word Peter said.

“You’re right,” Steve finally broke the silence. “I do already know that about her. Which is why I don’t always trust her taste in men,” His words trailed off, accompanied by a heavy sigh as he shot you a know look. The mention of John Walker was left unsaid. 

He had never fully gotten over the situation with John Walker. His instincts to protect had only intensified since then. You glanced at Peter, who seemed to pick up on the unresolved tension but he remained composed. 

“Steve,” you began, your voice steady, addressing your brother. Reaching out, you grasp Peter’s hand, seeking reassurance. Steve’s gaze flickered down momentarily before meeting yours again, his expression guarded. 

“Peter is different,” you continued, your tone was firm but yet, gentle. “I know we’ve had… issues in the past, but this feels right.” 

His jaw tightened, and his gaze moved to Peter’s, a silent assessment passed between them. “I hope you’re right,” he said, his tone still guarded but softer. “She means a lot to me,” he directed at Peter. “More than you will ever know. And, I’m not exactly eager to see her get hurt.” 

Peter nodded, his expression filled with sincerity. “I understand Steve. And, I promise you, my intentions are nothing but genuine,” he affirmed, he met Steve’s gaze unwaveringly. “I’ve grown to care for her deeply. I want her to be happy, and I want to be the one making her happy.” 

Steve narrowed his eyes slightly, searching for any sign of deceit in Peter’s face. After finding none, he let out a slow breath. “Alright,” his tone grudgingly accepting. “But, understand this: if you hurt her, I’ll be your biggest fucking nightmare.” 

Peter nodded again, undeterred by Steve’s demeanor. “I understand, and I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he replied calmly. 

~

As the evening wore on, the previous tension gradually dissolved, replaced by a sense of cautious optimism. Steve seemed to ease as he engaged further in conversation with Peter, discussing everything from photography to history, and Steve even got him talking about motorcycles. 

The clock ticked past midnight, signaling the end of the evening, Steve rose from his seat and began readying himself to leave. You walked him to the door, a newfound sense of relief washed over you noe that the meeting was ending. 

Before he stepped out into the apartment building, he turned to face you. “You know,” he began, softening his expression. “I actually do like him.” 

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. “Really?” you asked, a weight lifting from your shoulders. 

He nodded, “Yeah,” he continued to confirm, a smile played on his lips. “He seems like a good guy.” 

“Thank you, Stevie,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “That means a lot to me.”

Steve pulled you into another brief hug, embracing you in his warmth and reassurance. “Just looking out for my little sister,” he murmured.  

As he stepped out, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope blooming within you.

---

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[poppitron360]

Big “I’m Back, Bitch” post after my Hiatus.

Hello All!

This is kinda just intended for close moots or anyone who was worried about me or is interested in Poppi’s Personal Life Lore, just to keep you guys up to speed on how I’m doing after some time away and what to expect from me in 2025.

SO MUCH has happened in the two months I was away from Tumblr so for starters, here is a brief list of updates I have about My life/Fandoms/General shenanigans in no particular order

- The Ithaca Saga came out and it was AMAZING. I completely ignored my stockings that Xmas morning and instead just listened to it. By the time Christmas day was over I’d already listened to it about six times.

- Yes I was at the watch party along with 206,000 other people. It was truly historical.

- The Helluva Boss sinsmas special came out and almost made me cry. It’s been a while since I was posting about that show, but dw I still watch it

- I’m now on book 3 of Magnus Chase and YES YOU WERE ALL ABSOLUTELY CORRECT I LOVE ALEX SO MUCHHHHH. Expect some Alex Fierro/Fierrochase/Jack x Riptide content from me soon

- The Star Wars Disney+ shows are better than they’ve been since Mandolorian Season One.

- HAPPY 2025!!! This can’t be a real year. 2017 was still last year. No way we’re halfway through the 20s already.

- I had a BIG LIFE UPDATE that for personal reasons I can’t share online but it was BIG and also GOOD and I’m really proud of it. It was also unexpected and not the reason I took time off for. Idk why I’m including this bc I can’t really say anything about it but I need y’all to know that something good happened. It seems like when I vent about personal stuff here I only talk about the bad but good stuff does happen sometimes too.

- I got a weighted blanket for xmas. It’s so cozy and I love it.

- I have started getting into making OCs. Some for fandoms, some not.

- Penelope is now my favourite character in Epic.

- I’ve been writing this fanfic about the children of Percabeth, Solangelo, and Valgrace going on a TLT-style quest together so stay tuned to either read that or watch me give up on it and then just infodump about the plot I would’ve written if I’d had the energy

- I’m finally caught up on The Amazing Digital Circus

- I’m finally caught up on Agatha All Along (I still have the last episode to watch)- I think Joe Locke is stuck playing Sad Gay Baby-bois for the rest of his carrer now.

- Joel Smallishbeans won Wild Life and Grian is making 7hr Hermitcraft videos now.

- I performed in a play

- I have a 133-day streak on Duolingo!!

- Technically my one year Hyperfixation anniversary of Percy Jackson! I count it as the first Wednesday after Christmas as that’s when I watched the TLT musical for the first time. Because of this, whenever I doodle an SPQR tattoo on my arm when I’m bored, I will now draw two lines under it instead of one.

- Less than one month into 2025 and I can already predict that “The Challenge” is gonna be my top song of the year on Spotify

- Overall, I’ve just been trying my best to relax and take it easy, and I think I succeeded, which is good because that’s what I needed.

Now for the slightly less lighthearted stuff. I need to set a few things straight, for myself more than anything.

Firstly, I want to clarify that mentally I'm fine. I realise my leave was sudden and might’ve worried some people, and I apologise, but I am safe. You don't have to worry about my health or wellbeing.

This too will pass, and you'll get more dedicated, hyperobsessed Poppi back again once this has all blown over. Although, the aforementioned “BIG GOOD LIFE UPDATE” might complicate things.

Holidays are a stressful time for me, as I’m sure they are for you. With that on top of work and life stuff I needed to shed some mental load and unfortunately Tumblr was the first thing to go. And it will be the first thing to go again when something else stressful shows up. Adulting is hard you guys.

I've made it no secret that I've had some stressful stuff going on in my life these past few months. Yes, I am back from hiatus. Yes, I'm taking the time to rest and take care of myself. But I do not have the physical capacity to fully administrate a Tumblr blog on top of everything else right now.

So from now on, things are gonna be a little bit different around here. I won't be making posts every day and I won't be writing large fanfics or working on any complex fanarts.

I will need to take more hiatuses as things pile up.

I don’t know when exactly, but consider it a fact (unless I say otherwise) that this will happen again.

I know a lot of you will be understanding but I want to set these rules for myself so I don't feel any pressure from my brain to provide for you all. As I'm sure most of you will relate, I have a kinda all-or-nothing attitude to my interests, and as of this point in my life I can't afford to give my all to my blog. So expect a lot less from me these next few months.

Also, still nothing on the Autism Assessment Application stuff, in case anyone was wondering about that. This is the reality of living under the NHS. But by talking to people I’ve still been able to get the help and support that I need regardless of a diagnosis. And I also have a bunch of fidget toys now!!

Anyhoo, sorry for the ramble. I neither assume nor expect everyone will bother reading this so thank you for taking the time if you did. I wanted to put all of this in one post so I don’t need to keep talking about this and boring y’all with personal details in case you’re not interested. On with the fun fandom fiascos!!

I thank you all for your patience and being so kind and considerate while I needed some rest. I could not hope for a more awesome corner of the internet to exist on. Love you all. Stay safe. I’ll see you soon!

— Poppi <3

@lavenderfairiez @ginnyluna @groverapologist @echo-stimmingrose @demigod-shenanigans @keefessketchbook @sleepyycapybara @123letsgobestie @fairytalesociology @four-leafed-queer-gal @child-of-helios @puzzled-pegasus @ollieisanerd @twomanyfandomshelp @lokiwiiiiiii @yoshuko-ew @frayna-of-the-hollow @via-rant @hadeslegacyhephgirl @pjowasmy1stfandom @thetourturedwritersclub @m-for-now @inky-void @deciduowl

[vesselsscarlet]

Hey my loves of my besties.

This post is a bit personal now. It is a story about Sleep Token, to be exact it is my story with them.

Because it still feels surreal to me.

So... it all started on January 7 in Dusseldorf, Germany, Mitsubishi Electric Hall.

I was there with one of my friends from uni, and also with my male best friend, we decided to see Architects and Northlane. We couldnt care less about the boys (I am very sorry for that now), they weren't relevant to us.

But after opening up with Chokehold and playing Alkaline, dude holy shit, they got me.

I started digging into their music, listened to every song ever since. And then I realized, they once were in my Spotify suggestions with "Hypnosis". But hell, that was back in 2022, and I had no idea.

But when Vore was released and they announced their Wembley ritual I tried to find someone who wanted to go with me. This is how I met a friend who now is coming with me to Birmingham and Cardiff. My friend from uni also wanted to join us.

My old blog went through so many changes, from James McAvoy to Pedro Pascal to Sleep Token. And then it got deleted. It didn't stop me. Tumblr couldn't stop my obsession.

So... I created an account again, ...

This baby, vesselsscarlet.

I didn't know it would end up as a blog with at least 200 followers, and people actually liking my stuff and ... Most importantly..

Me. Lia. That person that runs this account.

My darlings.. oh my darlings..

@moonchild-in-blue @ittwuh (I miss you darling) @autumns-veil @a-s-levynn and @con-clavi-con-jae were the first people that decided to be my besties. And then it was followed by lovie herself @fivewholeminutes and also dearest @thejawsoffate ...

Like ... how did this happen? I barely knew any people and now... I've got these people here. Wanted to be friends with me.

My account blew up... I didn't know what to do..

But @takemetoasgard @sleeby-vessel @polteergeistt @aquareegia @sleep-token @sleepanonymous @alexghost07 @the-devoured @nullcode @ccsven and even the ones I barely/never really talked to (I am sorry, I suck at interactions but ily) but are also worth mentioning... as for: @loveinthemindpalace @houseofache @ghxstly-death @crying-neptune @eepymonstrr @thevenomousseprent .. and so many more..

I cannot express anything that is showing my gratitude towards you all.

You all... made it special. You are the reason why I am still up here.

And when it comes to the UK Tour this year...

I cannot believe it but I am gonna do it with so many amazing people (either for the entire four rituals or a few or just meeting up for one particular ritual):

@fivewholeminutes @a-s-levynn @thejawsoffate @moonchild-in-blue @sleeby-vessel @alexghost07 Alina (my very first sleep token friend who got me the Wembley tickets) and Philipp (my uni friend)...

If you made it this far...

Thank you for being here. Thank you for being my friend/mutual.

And if you are specifically tagged..

I hope you don't mind it. But ....

Thank you so much to you as well for being my bestie. You are the best.

And thank you to Sleep Token for gifting me these incredible people.

With that being said...

Lets keep this up, and I am glad to be here.🥺

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | six.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, sweet yuyu per usual, seonghwa moment (sorry yes he's back briefly lmao), crying & some overthinking, next few chapters will prob feel like lil filler chapters while things progress between oc x yunho <33 we are almost there yall, promise!!

Yunho parks his car in the driveway, clicking the key fob to make sure his doors are locked after he grabs his things from the trunk. Entering the house, it's a lot quieter than expected— typically, he has family members or close neighbors over even if they're just there to sit in the kitchen and gossip with his aunt and mom.

When he sets his things down and walks further into the house, he realizes why it's so quiet in the house.

"Yunho! Our handsome boy!" His aunt yells from the backyard where she sits with his mom, two neighbors and their two friends. Yunho feels the heat rise to his cheeks because even though this is happens constantly— he's still not used to the praising and babying from his own family members.

"Hi." He gives them a toothless smile and waves, helping himself to a seat right next to his mom. "Miss Universe herself, how are you feeling?" His mom chuckles before playfully hitting his arm.

"I'm doing okay, my love. I missed you."

"I'm here now, right? Did your appointment go okay?" He swings his arm around her chair and focuses all of his attention on her. 

"Yeah, it went perfectly fine. I felt a bit tired and weak afterwards, but nothing some good rest and food couldn't fix." Yunho nods.

"Okay, that's good."

"How about you, tell me all about school? I think your mom is missing some details." She says with a small smirk and Yunho can't help but playfully roll his eyes.

"Didn't you wanna go to the grocery store?" He changes the subject, his aunt immediately catching on to the shift in his body language.

"Yunho has a girlfriend, I think." She says to her neighbors while smirking at him. Yunho's mom laughs it off, standing to save her son from the oncoming comments, teasing, etc etc.

"Suho." His mom says in a scolding manner, slight drip of playfulness to it. "Don't you have a list of things we need to get at the grocery store?"

"Oh shit, you're right." She says, hurrying into the kitchen for her list. Yunho laughs and bids farewell to their friends, following his mom and aunt into the kitchen. His mom grabs the list from her sister, asking if she needs anything else or if she wants food from anywhere before they return. She simply says no and says she'll be heading out with her friends soon— that the both of them should just enjoy shopping and eating wherever they'd like.

And so with that, Yunho carefully helps his mom get settled before hopping into the driver's seat. His music is softly playing in the background, while his mom continues to tell him about how her appointments have been and the people she's encountered. He starts to laugh when she mentions one of the technicians at the dialysis center, and how she's bragged about him to her countless times.

"Okay mom, I appreciate it but you don't have to play cupid." He smiles at her before shifting his attention back to the road.

"I know, but sometimes I worry about you." She gently squeezes his bicep. "I can't help it because I'm your mom. You do a great job taking care of everyone else, sometimes I just want someone to help take care of you."

"I'll be okay."

"I know, I know." She lets out a breath before toothlessly smiling at him. "But, you get where I'm coming from."

"I think so."

"What about your friend?"

"What friend?"

"From school? The one you talked about, you know? Helping with her assignments."

"Oh, right." Yunho chuckles. "What about her?"

"Well, what's her name?"

"You're gonna look for her on Facebook."

"I am not." She playfully hits him, making him laugh. 

"Her name is Y/N."

"Beautiful name. I'm sure she's very pretty." Yunho shrugs.

"Y-yeah she is. But, we're really just friends. We click pretty easily. Surprisingly."

"What do you mean surprisingly? You're the sweetest and the friendliest boy I know. And I'm not saying that because I'm your mother."

"You're definitely saying that because you're my mother." He laughs.

"Why don't you see where it goes?"

"I never said I wouldn't." He laughs a bit. "I'm also not going to force anything."

"That's fair. She seems to be a good friend, though."

"She is. She's sweet."

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Yunho!" You happily head down the steps when you see him standing there, patiently waiting for you. He has his hands dug deep into his pockets, hood on his head. A small, tiny smile tugs at the corner of his lips when you finally come face to face and stand in front of his towering figure. "Hey you." You gently poke at his arm.

"What's up?" He starts to lead the way with slow, steady steps— walking down his usual path around the complex. 

"Kinda just wanted to take a quick walk." 

"Feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You're telling me. How's practice been?"

"Practice is practice. It's fun to be doing it with friends though." He nods, silently walking alongside of you. "How's Yeosang?" He chuckles.

"Yeosang is Yeosang. Currently still yelling at his screen."

"You guys should game together."

"We do when he decides to play Valorant, but he's more into League." He scratches at his temple. "I must sound very attractive right now." You laugh a bit.

"That sounds very fun. You'll have to teach me one day."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, why not. I'd probably have to play on a dummy account or something so I don't ruin your level." You tilt your head in confusion. "Ranks? Whatever they're called." He smiles.

"Fair." You laugh.

"Wow, so you don't believe in my abilities, huh?"

"You said it first."

"Yunho." You whine, making him laugh a little loudly this time.

"I'm kidding. I believe in you. It's really not that bad." You smile, but it quickly fades when you almost bump into Yunho just as he suddenly stops in his tracks. "Look." He looks down at you, then points upwards. "The moon." You stand beside him and look up at the moon. 

"It's beautiful."

"Hm, yeah." He snaps a photo. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stop."

"No, please. I like seeing these parts of you." He smiles.

"Yeah?" You nod. "You don't think it's odd?"

"I could never think that way about you, Yunho." You playfully tap his arm. "Seriously. It's nice to see someone appreciate the moon."

"Someone has to." You giggle as you both continue to slowly walk alongside each other, arm brushing against one another. 

♣︎ END

"Please don't forget to bring her by one day. I'd still like to meet her."

"Meet her?"

"You've been happier lately, and that's all I could ask for. She sounds lovely."

"Okay." Yunho nods and smiles at her just as he pulls into the lot of the market. 

Yunho patiently goes around with his mom, placing every item she needs into the cart while she points out what's needed. They spend a good 45 minutes, close to an hour, just taking their time buying what's needed and other necessities. Afterwards, Yunho takes his mom to her favorite Chinese restaurant. They spend time talking about all things school-related and what his plans might be for the near future. 

And Yunho loves being home, don't get him wrong. He'd always spend time with his family over anything. But, he couldn't help but think of you— especially after his mom brought you up.

He hopes you're okay. Maybe he'll check on you tonight.

Tonight, you wrap up your homework and waddle over to the couch— joining Seungmin and Chaery in the living room while they watch their show. Soobin is cooking himself some dinner since he just got back not too long ago from the library.

"Any of you guys want some ramen before I shut this off?"

"Nope!" Seungmin yells loudly even though he's just in the living room.

"Same. Thanks Soobinnie." Chaery says in a sing-song tone. You simply look at Soobin with a small smile, shaking your head before returning your attention to your phone. A text comes in and you're [slightly] surprised at who it is— but, you definitely can't say that it doesn't put a smile on your face.

yunho: take a look at the moon if you haven't yet.

But, your smile instantly fades when you can't respond right away. A call cuts through on your screen, and it's probably the last person you want to speak to right now— even though you know you need to.

"Hello?" You answer nonchalantly, not in the mood to speak to Seonghwa.

"Hey. Are you free right now?" You sigh and look at the clock. 10pm.

"Yeah, I am."

"Can you come down? I'm here in my car."

"For what, Seonghwa?" You hear him sigh heavily on the other line before speaking up again.

"I just want to talk. We haven't talked in days and I'm trying to figure out what's going on between us." 

"Seonghwa—"

"Y/N, please. That's all I'm asking for." He says in a serious tone. You roll your eyes and purse your lips together, pausing for a moment before responding.

"Fine. I'll be down in a few."

"Alright." And with that, you end the call— sliding your phone into the pocket of your sweats before forcing yourself off of the couch to grab the nearest jacket.

"My jacket?" Soobin watches as you snatch his jacket off of the dining table chair.

"I just need it for a second. Please?" You pout and he nods.

"Where are you going?" Chaery asks while her and Seungmin continue to watch their show, her eyes fixed on the TV.

"Seonghwa wants to talk."

"Oh, jeez." She says. "Goodluck with that, hun. Call if you need anything."

"Yup!" You slip into your crocs, dragging your feet down the steps and to Seonghwa's car. He's parked by the curb, windows slightly rolled down so you're able to catch a peek of him. He's staring down at the phone near his lap, the light illuminating his face. He texts away even as you approach the door, but chucks it into his middle console after he's sent whatever he needed to send. You plop onto the passenger's seat and avoid eye contact, crossing your arms as you look straight ahead at the car in front of his.

"Hi to you, too." He furrows his brows a bit. 

"So, what is it Seonghwa?" You finally turn to him and let out a barely audible sigh.

"Baby, come on." Seonghwa clicks his teeth and pouts a bit. He slips his hand on your thigh and lets it rest there. "I said I was sorry. I know I fucked up majorly, but something just came up and—"

"Something came up? Something always comes up for you. You couldn't even take one second to text me or let me know? It doesn't take much."

"I know, I thought I was going to be able to make it in time."

"Right. I've heard that before."

"I'm sorry." He repeats.

"Heard that before too." You shake your head. "Seonghwa, I think we should just stop doing this, okay? Clearly, you have better things to worry about and I'm just tired."

"W-what?" He looks at you, really looks at you. Almost in disbelief. Probably disbelief. "Baby, I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna lose you."

"It doesn't matter if you do, you always have someone to fall back onto." You shoot back, and he's silent. Of course he is. "I thought so."

"No, you're not giving me time to get my thoughts together." He panics. "Y/N, baby. Please. Hear me out. I don't wanna lose you. I really don't. I know I fucked up time and time again, but I'll do better. It's always been you and—"

"You're only worried about losing the idea of me, someone who will be there as your safety blanket when other shit doesn't pull through for you. You aren't actually worried about me, and you know I'm right." He scoffs and shakes his head, but he doesn't say anything, no. He can't say anything because he knows it's true. He quickly deflects and brings up the one thing that has been running his last nerve lately:

"Why don't you just say that it's Yunho?"

"This has nothing to do with Yunho, Seonghwa! I'm so tired. It's been months of this back and forth bullshit, don't you get it? It's so clear what this means to you, and I don't wanna stick around, waiting for somebody that doesn't even care about me."

"Don't say that I don't care—"

"You don't!" Your tone raises a bit, and this is when it settles that Seonghwa isn't good for you. He will never be good for you, good to you. He will never change, and you will never find an ounce of pure, genuine happiness being stuck here. "You really don't. You can't claim that when I've caught you multiple times doing shit behind my back, let alone left my ass in the cold like I was easily disposable. Multiple times." Tears are pricking your bottom lids and you're not sure if it's because of everything you've been through or if it's because you feel bad for yourself— for settling, for letting him walk over you. You are aware that, however this ends, you'll need to take a moment and say your peace to it. "I'm so done with it, Hwa. I don't need this."

"Wait, Y/N. Please." He says, hand giving your thigh a gentle squeeze so you don't up and leave right away. 

"No. We're just going to go in circles and repeat the cycle. This is done—"

"How can I fix this?" You furrow your brows and shake your head, letting out a scoff.

"You really have to ask? If you really wanted to know, you would've asked that question a long time ago." You remove his hand from your thigh.

"So, that's it?" He asks because he doesn't know how else to respond without sounding even more pathetic. "Y/N." Hwa panics again when he sees you swing the door open, stepping out without saying another word to him. Though, he couldn't really tell you why he panicked— perhaps, yeah, it's the thought of losing you, but mainly his image. How he'd look if people ever found out that you left him first. 

And you know this already.

In plain words, he's just worried about losing another girl on his list. Especially the one that was always there for him, the one that rarely gave him issues. Didn't get strung up too quickly, didn't really press him for shit over the months.

Damn.

Even though you said it had nothing to do with him, Seonghwa still thinks Yunho played a part in it. And that's fucking annoying.

"Y/N!" You hear him call for you again, even after you've slammed his door and stormed off to your apartment. You feel the tears pricking your lids again, and you're doing your best to hold it in. But eventually, the tears stream down your cheeks; one by one.

This is you saying your peace.

Then, you'll move on. As you should.

"Baby is back!" Chaery cheers but her smile instantly fades when she sees you wiping away at your face. "Aw no, baby. What happened?" You shrug as she comes to you and pulls you into her arms.

"I just ended it with Seonghwa."

"Oh shit, good for you! Finally!" Seungmin is still sitting on the floor, so he flicks her on the leg. "Ow! The heck?"

"What she means to say is that everything's gonna be okay, and that it's okay to cry if you need to." He looks at her and she follows with a slow nod.

"Yes, absolutely." You wipe the remaining stragglers and shake it off, returning Soobin's jacket to the dining chair.

"It's fine, I'll be okay. I needed to do that." You look at them with a reassuring expression. "It's just time to move past this." Chaery rubs your back.

"Do you need anything?" You shake your head. 

"No, but I'm going to head into the room and just chill for the night."

"Okay." Chaery gives you a small smile.

"Get some rest." Soobin adds.

"I will." You head off to the bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. It's still early but you don't think you'll be sleeping anytime soon with the thoughts that are currently bombarding your head. It does suck to finally part from something that no longer serves you, but you know it's for the best.

You were done.

Suddenly, you remember Seonghwa bringing up Yunho and it begins to irritate you. How dare he? He knows nothing about Yunho, and you hate how he's the first one he tries to blame. Shame that he's grown but can't take full responsibility for his actions. Until this day, Seonghwa has yet to fully acknowledge everything he's done.

He still finds a way to beat around the bush, implying that he did no wrong.

You shut off the lights and lay in bed with the mood lamp on, picking up your phone to finally respond to people. You sent your mom and sister a quick text before switching to Yunho's thread— realizing you still haven't responded to his last text.

you: ugh, that picture is perfect. the moon is sooo pretty tonight. 🥺

you: sorry for the late response, kinda got wrapped up with something super last min. how's your weekend going?

yunho: why the sad face? 😣

you: it'd be nice if we could go on a walk and look at the moon together.

yunho: aw yeah, that does sound nice. but, i hope the picture at least put a smile on your face.

yunho: & you don't have to apologize. but, it's been nice being at home and catching up with my family. what about you? everything okay?

you: i don't know? it's okay, i guess. just kinda tired.

yunho: you sure that's it?

you: no. 😕 but, it's nothing really.

yunho: calling you in a few, is that okay?

you: more than okay!

You continue to scroll through your phone for a couple of more minutes before Yunho's name lights up on the screen. A small smile pulls at your lips just as you pick up the call, Yunho rustling around in the background.

"Hi." You hear a bit more rustling before Yunho is letting out a [content] sigh.

"Hey, sorry. Just got in bed."

"That's okay." You chuckle. "I'm also lying down and just being lazy."

"Good, you should just rest." Yunho clears his throat. "You okay?"

"Mm, I don't know. I guess."

"What's going on?"

"I ended things with Seonghwa tonight." He remains silent for a bit before he responds with a—

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Again, just moving on." You chuckle a bit. "I did cry a teensy weensy bit, but I needed to let it out in order to let it go."

"Yeah, totally understandable. You sure you're okay? It's okay if you aren't."

"I am okay. It does suck though, we argued and then I just—" You pause. "I don't know. I guess I realized how this wasn't good for me. Everything came crashing down and I was so over it."

"Mhm." He softly answers, letting you continue on.

"I don't wanna keep being like that, you know? I don't say much, but I always feel anxious and stressed. I always end up thinking about what Seonghwa will do to hurt me next. That sounds so bad, but it's the best way to put it." You sigh. "It's just not good."

"I'm sorry, Y/N. It's not. But, it's okay if you aren't okay right now. Take your time."

"Thanks Yunho. Seriously. I'll be good." You let out a small, breathy laugh. "Just a moment of weakness."

"Not weakness." There's a small pause as you let Yunho's response sink.

"Hey, by the way. We're doing a scary movie night thing at our apartment soon. Do you wanna come over and join us?"

"Hm." He hums, thinking about whether or not he should just do it. 

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Fun for you because I'm sure I'll end up as your punching bag when things get too scary." You chuckle.

"No, not even! Seriously. We'll have lots of food."

"What movie are you planning to put on?"

"Would that be a dealbreaker?" You tease.

"Maybe." He plays along.

"I truly have no idea yet."

"Alright then." He laughs. "Yeah, I'll join." You gasp.

"Really?"

"Yeah." He reiterates.

"Aw, yay! I hope you didn't feel pressured or obligated." Yunho sits on his response for a bit; no, he doesn't feel that way. It might be new hanging out with you and your friends, but he was looking forward to just being in your company.

"Never that." 

"I'll text you all the details later." You yawn.

"Sleepy?"

"Kinda. Just exhausted."

"I can go if you—"

"Stay. You're good. Even though I might fall asleep soon." You giggle.

"That's fine." Yunho answers. The two of you continue to talk a bit about how home has been for Yunho and what you had been up to over the weekend. After the cute giggles and playful teasing, there's a nice, comforting silence that falls between you two. Yunho almost believes you've fallen asleep until you sleepily break the silence by calling his name.

"Yunho?" There you go, calling his name like you always do. It's becoming a weakness for him.

"Hm?"

"Thanks for always showing me the moon."

"Course." He matches your tone, and responds close to a whisper. Another silence settles in, but Yunho is positive you've fallen asleep due to the very small and soft snores he hears on the other line. He chuckles to himself before setting his phone aside, keeping the call connected on speaker in case anything went wrong.

He'd be there.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @marsattacks @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 [bold = can’t tag 😭]

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Oh look more headcanons

Who'd have guessed

Not me for sure

Okay sorry I'll shut up.

I'm highly music-driven and have been for many many years of my life.

And I'm presently unreasonably obsessed with The Fratellis after suddenly remembering they exist after like fifteen years of not hearing a single one of their songs. Don't ask me, it just happened a couple months ago and I decided not to question it.

So this is really stupidly niche of me, but these are their songs/lyrics that I associate with the Best Boys™, in a Character X Reader sense. The songs that are typically playing halfway on repeat when I'm writing any of them lately.

The song-links go to Spotify. It's not necessary to listen to them, the lyrics here are the main catalyst, but if you want to listen I'm not going to complain.

no but please I hope you like the music that I like I have no one to talk to about it and as a half-assed musician it's literally killing me and

Anywho.

Zoro

Living in the Dark

I was nothing less than torn, crying out to be reborn

Come back, baby, you could make me happy,

Maybe you could prove me wrong

You're the only one who could ever save me,

Maybe you could prove me wrong

I've been living in the dark down here too long

The song itself is far more upbeat than I'd generally associate with Zoro, but the lyrics speak to me on his behalf. The upbeat tempo is the equivalent of what you do to his heart when you're near him; it's strange and unfamiliar, but it's nice. He's iffy about being close with anyone, and he won't admit it out loud but he wants to be.

He's been alone for years, for damned near all of his life, and you're like the light at the end of that tunnel. He might try to push you away or be aloof and impersonal at first because the thought of being vulnerable frightens him a little, but he wants to be proven wrong. He wants to let you in, and he's willing to try.

Sanji

Sugartown

I get the strangest sense we were lovers past-tense

Like a dog in heat I just can't be indiscreet

And when I see you there, I whisper my prayer, so sweet

I'm getting shakey on my feet, I'm incomplete

And if you just can't do me right

Then, honey, please, do me wrong

I'll be your one man band, I'll be at your command

Just say the word and I'll be your Renaissance man

This entire damned song is the anthem of Sanji. It's like a 1950's bop, the type of song that you can't help but smile at. It's sweet and cute and pining, just like our favorite chef. He's just utterly obsessed and hoplessly devoted to you and every single thing you do. He can't keep his eyes or his mind off of you at any given time.

Just the sight of you entering the room takes his breath away, puts stars in his eyes. He would do or give absolutely anything to have you and to keep you forever, and he's going to make sure you know it.

Shanks

Babydoll

Babydoll, do you believe they'll catch you when you fall?

And when morning comes, the sun is gonna shine

Don't forget, your minor keys your half-lit cigarette

'Cause when morning comes, I know that you'll be mine

So let me in

I'm ready to beg and to sing for my sins

Not leave it to chance and sweet coincidence

I don't know. The soft yet slightly playful tone of the song in general just screams Shanks to me for no reason I can completely put in words. This particular portion of the lyrics is what I associate most with him.

He knows he wants you, and he wants to make sure you know it. Not to beat around the bush about it, but not pressure you either. Just make sure you know how much he cares about you and be as gentle and sweet as possible to prove it...and he knows it's going to work, and that you're already his whether you know it or not. But jfc also imagine that goddamned voice of his calling you babydoll please excuse me I need to go touch grass now

Mihawk

Medusa In Chains

I'm not your miracle man, I'm not your spirit guide

Before this whole thing began I had some sense of pride

Just one more night with your lips, your company is hard to eclipse

Weak-kneed, yes indeed, guardanteed, make my heart bleed

Give me a reason to breathe, don't let my sun go down

I'll make you stand and recieve, I'll be your sacred ground

Be my Medusa in chains, petrified

Only your beauty remains

The entire song. The ENTIRE SONG screams Mihawk to me. Slow-burn and seductive from start to finish. I get the same exact chills from this song that I get when he delivers that "Magnificent" line.

Lyrically relevant too. Falling for you in spite of his pride (and he has a LOT of pride to get past). You're like nothing he has ever experienced and he's utterly and hopelessly addicted to you. As much as he wants to fight it, he can't. In the same breath that he's trying to push you away and retain some grip on himself he's also pulling you back for more. He hardly even knows who he is anymore when you're near.

[tylerweststrand]

"Pilot" - 911: Lone Star - 1.01

My Rating: 6 / 10 Time Watched: 7:48 PM Where Are You?: My bedroom With Someone?: Eddie & Tyler Eating or Drinking?: Minute Maid pink lemonade & Ritz crackers Digital Platform or Channel: Hulu Best Scene!: The recruiting/interview montage & TK's overdose revival Scene That Can Be Improved: The bar scene, because I wanted it to be longer and with more Tarlos dancing. Not Tarlos crumbs.

3 Words That Describe This Episode: Beginnings | Change | Courage

Favorite quotes:

15:47: "Dad, you bring this guy in, people here would lose their minds." - TK (about Paul) 16:14: "Growing up the way I did there was a lot of folks who wanted to hurt me so I guess I learned to figure out who they were before they figured out who I was." - Paul 42:46: "I barely got the lid on this thing, Cap. If I take it off, I don't know if I can get the monster back in its cage." - Judd

My Review: Even though I don't care for Liv Tyler's character, I liked the rest. I can't help being paranoid about my own chronic cough after Owen's lung cancer diagnosis. I don't remember that at all since the first time I watched this episode (I've only seen the first 7 episodes in the past). Poor Owen.

I also can't help but think TK overdosing has to do with his proposal being rejected. ��🥺😭😭 Poor baby trying to cope. And this is just the beginning of his "danger magnet" trope. It would break me to see my own amazing paramedic down for the count no matter how many times it happened when he's the one who's supposed to be saving lives not the other way around.

I know that TK didn't really become a paramedic until like the other seasons, but I was still pissed he didn't get to do SOME kind of paramedic thing and Michelle just went and did the whole thing. 🙄🙄 Whatever. At least I got to see Nancy.

Loooove the line dancing scene, but it needed more Tarlos.

My heart went out to Judd when he broke down crying seeing that memorial of his team, but it was sweet seeing him come around and be nice to Owen and their little talk of PTSD. I like how Owen called it an "injury" rather than a disorder and it should be called PTSI because that's what it really is. It was a nice bonding moment for them. Judd's quote about the "monster" really parallels what he said in the season 5 "All Who Wander" episode about the demons coming to get him, and Owen being sweet enough to say that those demons will have to come get both of them.

And of course I love the recruiting/interview scene with "I Need You Tonight" playing. Definitely a memorable musical moment as much as "Boot Scootin' Boogie." It's so damn freaky how my Spotify played that exact song when I turned it on after watching the episode. I was like: 😱😱 "What the fuck is happening right now?" I swear that thing spys on me. But all and all, it was a good pilot episode with some impactful rescues.

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | 19.5 [cloudy days] y/n

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—19.5 [CLOUDY DAYS] y/n's thoughts

—WORD COUNT: 0.7k

—ON ROTATION: broke me down - janine

You tuck your knees to your chest, sniffing as you finally calm down from all the crying you did earlier. Your chest was still in pain, head feeling foggy and clouded. Being in Uncle Adrian's presence after Minho left was everything you needed, but at the same time, painful. Sad. Heartbreaking. Because you are mourning everything about Minho, and you are mourning something— the person, the life— you thought you knew. Rose tinted glasses stripped from your view of the world, only causing more storms, more cloudy days to tumble in and fill your field of vision.

You let out a sigh as your eyes land on the blank canvas currently sitting on the easel near the corner of your room. You don't really know what you want to paint, but your feet are taking you to the seat before you could even object. You gather your paint and set aside a few that you need, getting your brush ready as you test out a single stroke— a baby blue streak now taking its place on the canvas. You imagine grass dotted with tiny daises and dandelions, trees almost bare as the seasons change and it sheds its old leaves. A cold, cloudy day. An open notebook lies next to you, a few missing pages ripped from the seam. As you sit and stare ahead, you aren't really sure what you're looking at. All you see is the sky stretching beyond what you can imagine, hills never-ending; much as life, as you never know how far the hills stretch, how long the rollercoaster lasts. But through it all, the sky still turns blue in the far distance.

You miss how things used to be.

You wish you remembered.

How you wish you could press rewind and do things differently; turn back the hands of time and play a different outcome.

How you wish you could go back to how things used to be— even if that meant going back to the days when you and Minho weren't okay, going back to the days when you argued, cried, fought. At least you wouldn't be guessing your way through life like you are now, going through an open notebook trying to determine what the missing pages were without any clues.

So, you paint just that. That exact image. Letting your thoughts come to life, allowing your hand to freely move on its own. Breathing life into the canvas, into your own story. You move your brush in a still, steady movement— hoping that with every stroke, the pain will subside and bleed into the paint instead. Because one day, you hope the painting can capture all of your feelings properly. The sadness, the hurt, the frustration. Because one day, you hope to look back at it and be able to remember how these days contributed to your healing, your growth. Because one day, you hope to look back and see how far you've come despite the vast amount of hills, the never-ending rollercoasters.

But one day, you also hope to look back and find this painting to serve as a reminder on your tough days. That, although, things weren't entirely clear or perfect, it would only get better from here. That blue skies will come to you once again, just like they do in the painting.

No matter the distance, it'd be there. 

Ready to engulf you in its brightness, its warmth.

And maybe, underneath those blue skies, you won't be sitting alone next to a ripped notebook. Underneath those blue skies, the grass will be a bit greener, the trees will have its leaves as it stands on its strong roots. Underneath those blue skies, you'd find a complete notebook after rearranging the pieces of yourself. 

Underneath those blue skies, you'll be with Chan, Seungmin, Jisung, Minho.

Underneath those blue skies, you'll look at Minho and find the blue skies, the stars, moon, galaxies all within those beautiful, brown orbs.

And it'll feel peaceful. 

It'll feel bright. 

It'll feel warm.

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[delicatebarness]

cry baby | chapter ten

Summary: The aftermath of the makeover and another Avengers day out.

Warning: Slight violence. Fluff.

Word Count: 1682

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A/N: Don't mind me, I'm just writing 1.6k words of ramble! Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as it is mine. - B

Tags: buckys0whore | @thezombieprostitute | @lanabuckybarnes | @mishkatelwarriorgoddess | @softieekayy | @noonespecial90 | @hello-therree | @randomawesomeperson102 | @whoreforbarnes | @thejutvtsupport | @somnorvos | @cjand10

The makeover didn’t last longer than that night. The new look brought back a spark of confidence, but it wasn’t sustainable for you. The following day, you returned to your familiar, comfortable style and returned to the bar.

Steve, Bucky, and Sam were already sitting at your usual booth, they immediately stood to exchange hugs and pleasantries. You welcomed the small fuss and attention before heading to the bar to order drinks. 

As you waited, you felt a presence beside you. You turned your head slightly, noticing Rumlow, a smirk already playing on his lips. 

“Hey there, baby,” he spoke slowly, beginning to lean in closer than necessary. The word “baby”, especially without the ‘cry’ in front of it, sends a shiver down your shine. The memory of John using the same term in a derogatory way replayed in your mind. 

Your breath hitched, the room seemed to close in as the bar’s noise faded into the background, and your heart pounded in your ears. He misinterpreted your silence, causing his smirk to grow. 

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” he taunted as he reached out to rub your arm.

Without thinking, your fist suddenly connected with his jaw in a powerful motion. He stumbled back at the impact, as shock and anger flashed across his face. The entire bar fell silent, and everyone's gaze turned toward you. 

Your chest heaved with the rush of adrenaline as you stood there with your hand still clenched. The memory of John faded, the reality of the present replacing it. 

Before you could process what you had done, or the distance between you and Rumlow which he was closing, Steve stepped between the pair of you. You felt the presence of Sam and Bucky by your side, too. 

“Is there a problem here?” Steve asked, his voice calm but laced with an unmistakable warning as his protective instinct kicked in. 

Rumlow glared at you over Steve’s shoulder, rubbing his jaw. “Your precious little sister here just punched me for no reason,” he spat, his confidence faltering under the men’s steady gazes. 

Bucky stepped forward, his stance firmed and expression cold. “You need to leave,” he said, his voice low.

Hesitating for a moment before he backed down, Rumlow muttered under his breath as he retreated. 

As Steve and Bucky turned to face you, concern evident in their features, the bar slowly returned to its usual buzz. “Are you okay?” Steve asked gently, his hand reaching up to rest on your shoulder. 

You shook your head, your breath still trying to steady itself. “He called me ‘baby’,” you explained, a slight tremble in your voice.

Steve, Sam, and Bucky exchanged confused looks between each other. “Isn’t that what we’ve all called you for years?” Sam asked, trying to understand.

Again, you shook your head, more firmly this time. “No, not ‘Cry Baby’. Just ‘baby’. It’s what John would call me at work.” 

Understanding crossed their faces. At that moment, Natasha and Wanda came into the bar, laughing together.

“Guys! You’ll never believe what we just saw!” Wanda exclaimed excitement consuming her eyes. Their infectious laughter momentarily lifted the heavy atmosphere. However, Natasha’s keen eye quickly assessed the situation, instantly dropping her amusement and replaced with concern. 

“What happened?” she asked, noticing the tension and tears in your eyes. Steve glanced at you before answering, explaining everything that happened to Natasha and Wanda. 

After a few moments, your group decided it was best to leave and spend the night at one of your apartments. The tension eased as you entered the familiar safe environment of Natasha and Wanda’s apartment. The conversation turned to lighter topics, the mood-lifting once again.

~

While Steve and Sam found themselves in a deep debate with Natasha and Wanda, all being very animated while discussing, you didn’t know what, you were in the kitchen with Bucky. 

Bucky noticed you flexing your hand as you made drinks for everyone, and his expression shifted once again to concern. “Give me a look at your hand,” he said, closing the distance between you. 

“Bucky,” you waved him off, smiling. “It’s fine. Really!” 

His eyes fixed on yours with determination, as he moved his hand down to yours. “Just… just let me check.”

You sighed and extended your hand toward him. Carefully, he examined it for signs of bruising or sprain. He brought your hand up to his lips after finding no evidence of injury, placing a soft kiss against your knuckles. 

“You did good tonight, Sweetheart,” he mumbled against your skin, his voice filled with admiration. 

A heat crept up your cheeks as you avoided his gaze. “I don’t know what came over me,” you murmured, feeling the weight of the bar's events catch up with you.

His lips curled into a smile, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. “It was so hot.” 

Your eyes widened, your face growing even warmer. Looking down, you left your hair in front of your face in an attempt to hide your blush. Bucky realized he hadn’t kept that thought in his head, quickly changing the subject. 

Clearing his throat, dropping your hand, he asked slightly louder than he meant, “So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” 

Turning back to the drinks, you took a deep breath. “I was thinking about heading to the farmers market in the morning.” 

“Count me in!” Natasha called out from the living room. “I could use a break from the usual routine.” 

Sam called out in agreement, “Me too! Plus, there’s a new coffee place that just opened nearby.” 

The group continued to chat as you and Bucky returned with drinks, and before you knew it your quiet morning borrowing fruit, vegetables, and handmade goods had evolved into a full-fledged family day out. 

~

As you arrived at the market, the atmosphere was lively and the colors vibrant, it instantly lifted your spirits after the cruel few weeks. The streets bustled with vendors setting up their stalls and customers already curiously searching. The air was filled with an aroma of fresh produce and baked goods. 

Natasha and Wanda led the way, pointing out different stalls as their interest spiked. Chatting animatedly, Steve and Sam followed. You, however, walked alongside Bucky, who was taking in the sights. 

It was impossible to ignore the ripple effect of your group, it wasn’t as noticeable when you were out around the city by yourself or even just with one or two of your friends. But yet, when it was all six of you, people turned their heads. Their eyes widened in recognition, hushed conversations as you passed by while clearing a path.

“Where should we start?”  Natasha asked, turning to you all with a gleam in her eye.

“Let’s check out the fruit stalls,” Steve suggested. “They have some amazing berries this season.” 

You pulled a confused face, looking between Bucky and Steve. “Since when have you been into what fruits are in season?” 

Steve shrugged nonchalantly. “I figured it wouldn’t hurt to broaden my horizons a bit.” 

Bucky smirked, giving Steve a nudge. “Next thing we know, you’ll be lecturing us on the benefits of organic farming.” 

As you made your way to the fruit stalls, the displays of fresh fruit drew you in. Vendors offered you their best produce to sample with wide smiles and respectful nods. 

While everyone else was picking out berries, you noticed Bucky scanning around the market. His gaze halted at a stall selling handmade wooden crafts for a moment longer than the rest. You nudged him gently. “See something you like?” 

He turned back to you, meeting your gaze with a small smile. “Just appreciating the craftsmanship… Want to check it out?” 

Walking over to the stall with Bucky, you both admired the intricate details on the wooden bowls and utensils. An elderly man with a friendly smile greeted you warmly, he was incredibly pleased to have customers.

“These are beautiful,” you said, examining the craved details gently. 

“Thank you,” the man replied, “I handcrafted everything here with care. If you want something special, I can also take custom orders.”  he offered you a smile and a business card. 

Bucky picked up a small carved box, looking over the delicate patterns that were etched into the wood. “This is incredible work, Sir.” 

The man beamed with pride. “Thank you, it’s always nice to meet others who appreciate art.” 

After purchasing a few items and listening to Bucky tell to the man about your sketches, you rejoined the group. 

~

As the morning turned into afternoon, you all decided to take a break and visit the coffee shop that Sam was excited about. It was a charming coffee shop, filled with vintage decor and had a cozy atmosphere, beautifully placed between a bakery and a bookstore.

On the way, you passed a florist’s stall, the beautiful blooming colors catching your eye. Roses, lilies, and cheerful daisies are arranged in picturesque displays. A bouquet of sunflowers, their bright yellow petals stood out like tiny rays of sunshine, distracting you from the group. 

Bucky noticed your absence and began to scan the market. He began to panic, his heart rate quickening, and concern consumed him as he thought about how simulated and overwhelmed you can become in crowds. He finally spotted you, letting out a relieved breath as he made his way over to you. 

“Hey,” he called softly, trying to draw your attention. “You okay?”

Turning to him, a warm smile spread across your face. “Yeah, I’m good! Sorry, I got distracted,” you replied, your fingers gently brushing over the sunflower petals.

He let out a soft laugh, his tension easing. He gently took your free hand. “Come on, Sweetheart, let’s catch up with the others.” 

You nodded, leaving the sunflowers as you walked hand-in-hand with him through the market. 

~

As you sip your coffee, you feel a sense of peace, surrounded by the people who care most about you. The events of the last few weeks faded in your mind, replaced by the warmth of family and the hope of a brighter near future.

---

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[spidernuggets]

Hey I just read your Jason x reader fic where y/n is the joker's daughter. First of all, that👏was👏awesome 👏, really I was feeling things and was destroyed when you used the sentence of the prompt. I was tearing up, and I don't normally do that, sooooooo. Yeah, you're damn good with your writing, keep it up.

Now, the reason why I'm doing this, I read it (both parts) like 1 hour ago, 10 mins after that Line without a hook from Rick Montgomery is playing on Spotify. I realized with a broken heart (you really got my feelings hanging from that fic) that it fits perfectly with the song, and it doesn't only works with one of them, it works with both jay and reader and the lyrics if you put attention to them it jumps from one to another.

Here's what I'm saying,(I'm just being delusional and overanalyzing everything) look:

I don't really give a damn about the way you touch me When we're alone You can hold my hand If no one's home

Here it's kinda both of them on the very final of part 2, like it says about the holding hands and touching when they're alone, but in a sense that they feel alone in the world without each other. But also the fact that y/n doesn't have anyone home, and from jays pov, how he felt betrayed with bruce, for knowing about her being his murderer's daughter.

Do you like it when I'm away? If I went and hurt my body, baby Would you love me the same?.

Right here, is the reader, specifically when she fights with Jay in the alley, but like, I feel that it's more like what she couldn't say to him, because she did what he asked, she moved away. At the same time the last 2 lines talk very well of how she lost everything, and I can also see a little hint of the robbery part, in the sense that she is hurting her "soul" or "essence" for lack of words.

I can feel all my bones coming back And I'm craving motion

JASON, do I have to say anything else? Like quite literally it's about resurrection, but emotions, don't forget about them, it's all the crushing rage he felt in the batcave, but also the hurting and the pain when he saw how little she had, when he realized how much she had suffered and how much he missed her.

Mama never really learns how to live by herself It's a curse And it's growing You're a pond and I'm an ocean

READER!! like are you seeing how many coincidences there are with this song! Analogy of mama, but it's actually "dad".

Personally, I've never understood the part of the pond and the ocean, but after this, it gave me a new look at it, from the readers pov, it's all the pain she caused jason, be it from the lies (quote to him), that she feels it's only growing, or could also be from the fact that jay thinks she like her dad and that she is much like poison (or curse) and it's eventually going to infect the kids or diane.

Oh, all my emotions Feel like explosions when you are around And I've found a way to kill the sounds, oh

Now this is both of them when they see each other again, but that last line, it works very differently, for jay it's rage and hatred, but for y/n it was blaming herself for everything, this before she reflected on herself, after that it's just numbness, seeing life gray, because what else could she do alone like she was?

Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you I need you here to stay I broke all my bones that day I found you Crying at the lake

Again both of them, but the reader is very good as an undertone of those 2 first lines, she is broken without him, without the only and very first person that loved her, I need you here to stay, it's the picture beside her bed, obviously.

The last two are very very very perfect on Jason, he is broken and sad when he saw her in that little rathole she called a "home", but the "...broke my bones...", it happens when she says that it was worse at the werehouse.

Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden? Oh, and if I could take it all back I swear that I would pull you from the tide

Jason begging for forgiveness, 🔛🔝📈📈📈.

Lats line specially about when he took her home, both before and after he found out.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa I said no (I said no), I said no (I said no) Listen close, it's a no The wind is a-pounding on my back And I found hope in a heart attack Oh at last, it is past Now I've got it, and you can't have it

I need another opinion here, it fits perfectly with both of them, but to be honest, It doesn't feel fair.

For reader it's in the alley screaming and shouting at him that she changed and understood that she it's not her father. She doesn't blame herself anymore (at least that what she says), she found hope of being better in a shattered heart.

Or jason, in the batcave, screaming and shouting how she betrayed him. Finding hope of not getting hurt anymore in his broken heart.

Both of them, both of the situations, let very clear the last line. "Now I've got it, and you can't have it".

Jason has his heart, she wasn't going to hurt him anymore, he's not gonna let her.

Reader finally has cleaned her conscience, and she's not going to let him take it away from her.

Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you I need you here to stay I broke all my bones that day I found you Crying at the lake Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden, oh And if I could take it all back I swear that I would pull you from the tide

The same that I mentioned before.

Darling, when I'm fast asleep I've seen this person watching me Saying, "Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Tell me, is it worth it?" Oh

Now, we all know that the joker never leaves, be that he has clones (literally wtf dude), or be it the scruchiating trauma he leaves in all his victims.

Reader, is repeating the voice of her father saying that no one will love her truly, given her identity.

Jason is repeating his horrible death and torture, but in my little delusional mind, I also believe that he was imagining the joker mocking him when he realized who y/n really was. Thing that only boosts the voice she hears. Not to forget that he is actually suffering with these nights terrors just like the song inclines.

Guess there is something, and there is nothing There is nothing in between

Then again comes the numbness she felt in those lasts months.

Watching over me, he's singing "She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a boy" He's singing, "She's a, she's a lady, and I am just a line without a hook"

I know it should be jay, but I'm going to do a little genderbending, cause the joker is a constant bully for the reader, even when dead, and in her dreams, (like fr dude calm down) , the reasoning behind this, it's that Jason stoped loving for a good while, but, she didn't, and if you add the constant remainder of "no one is gonna love you" with a good reason she is the owner of this verse.

Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you I need you here to stay I broke all my bones that day I found you Crying at the lake Was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden, oh And if I could take it all back I swear that I would pull you from the tide

The song ends yet again but with the chorus, but the very last line resonates with me, because of Jason wanting her back and actually putting an effort to understand her again after all the pain both of them suffered.

It ends with a happy feeling I think, if not at least optimistic.

I'm really sorry, it's too long, haha I really went into easy mode, hope it is not a burden. And if it isn't clear by now, I loved your fic, you had me in a chokehold all the damn time

STARLET, WHEN I CATCH YOU STARLET. STARLET, WHEN I CATCH YOU, STARLET.

Oh, my bleeding days, you probably dissected the fanfic even further than I could've imagined.

I SHIT YOU NOT, I WAS GONNA PUT LINE WITHOUT A HOOK INTO MY LYRIC PROMPT LIST. But i was like, ughhhh, the lyrics, THE LYRICS!!!! Ricky Montgomery's lyrics to that song were MWAHHHH. I was like, man I can't just copy ajd paste the whole song onto the list!!

I also thought that the whole song itself would be such a good prompt for an entire fanfic!! But the first part of the fic was so much longer than the others I've written, and since I've a packed schedule, I knew I wouldn't get the fic done if someone were to request the song.

But you've explained the fic together with the song so beautifully!! Like I know you were basing the song and fic with each other, but BRO YOU ALLOST MADE ME CRY!!

NOW LISTEN, LISTEN HERE!!!

You've used the whole song, comparing it to moments in the fic. But we add in one more verse- The verse from Line Without a Hook ft. mxmtoon!!!

And I know that you know Listen close and move slow I can't speak fast or else I'll crack

I feel you link lyrics and the fic better than I would, but my interpretation would be READERRRR yelling at Jason in the alley. Like, she's trying so hard to convince him that she's not the Joker, and she doesn't wanna cry in front of him again!!! "And I know that you know," maybe deep down, Reader knows Jason believes what she's saying, but Joker put Jason through so much, his head is just filled with trauma and rage!!

It's the price I pay for going back And I've dreamed to be seen Now I've got it, do I want it?

"It's the price I pay for going back," When Reader goes back to the soup kitchen, and Jason's all pissed off at her, but Reader just wanted to see Diane and the kids again :((

"And I've dreamed to be seen, Now I've got it, do I want it," Reader tried so long to tell Jason the truth, but like it all ended up badly when Jason was rewatching the footage of him. And it just ended up with Reader being scared of him when he started screaming and yelling at her.

And it teeny tiny bit ties in with the end of part 1 where it's like, the identity of Reader being the Joker's daughter wouldn't be mentioned at ALL since Joker never revealed he had a kid in the first place!!

So even though she had known Diane, the kids, and Jason for a good while, no one really knew who she really was.

But she regrets it when she finds out her dad was "right" :((

THERE WAS A TIKTOK SOUND THAT MASHED UP THE MXMTOON'S VERSE WITH RICKY'S AND IT GOES SO WELL WITH THIS PROMPT BUT THE SOUNDS GONE RAAAHHH

AND DONT BE SORRY THAT YOUR THOUGHT IS LONG!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HEARING OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINION AND IDEAS OF MY WRITING AND IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT!!

[jacqueline-p-rose]

In this year I finally ditched Spotify for good in favour of rebuilding my music library offline and, since May, I have been collecting again the music that was lost to time in the great iPod crash of 2016. 98% of the music I listen to now are mp3s on my phone (using the Poweramp app), and most of those songs are ripped from CDs bought cheaply and secondhandly from eBay. I feel that I listen to music differently from the yoothes in that I put on an entire album and listen to it through, so in light of the recent flight from Spotify in hand with my unsuppressed FOMO, I've decided to give you my top ten albums of 2024. So hear, my Not-ify Wrapped 2024!

1 - Antemasque - Antemasque

This is the real reason it's a list of top ten albums and not top ten songs, because the top 12 most played songs on my list are the 12 songs on this album. It's great, not only my favourite album of (2014) 2024, but one of my favourite of all time. I wrote a little more about why here if you're feeling read-y.

2 - London Grammar - If You Wait

A classic of a specifically difficult time in my life, brought back into another increasingly difficult time of my life. "Interlude" specifically gets to me and makes me cry, and you KNOW how I love to cry!

3 - Soundgarden - Superunknown

When I first heard Soundgarden as a pre-teen I remember thinking it was a bit too heavy for me, like... Too metal. It's taken being in my 30s to finally appreciate this bad boy. I don't know what I was thinking back then, maybe I was as soft as un-moulded jelly, but it's now one of my favourite albums of all time.

4 - Le Butcherettes - Sin Sin Sin

A prize for accepting the challenge of trying new things. I love how perfectly this slots in alongside The Dead Weather, while being far more interesting. Beautiful, beautiful, wonderful thing to come into my life.

5 - Boys Next Door - Door Door

Nick Cave was a better father to me than my real father. This album (along with Henry's Dream with the Black Seeds) I have plucked from the nostalgia of dads cigarette-ridden Pajero and claimed as my own. I hope my children have a more positive memory of it in future.

6 - Made Out Of Babies - The Ruiner

Made Out Of Babies is my answer if someone were to ask me what my favourite band is, so it's a little surprising to me to see it so low down on the list, although it's really an even match for play count with most of the other stuff on this list. The Ruiner and Trophy are a fantastic extrapolation of 90's grunge into the new millennia. Coward I don't like so much, maybe I'll appreciate it the same one day, but it is not today.

7 - Warpaint - Warpaint/Exquisite Corpse/The Fool

Really it's only Warpaint that is this high on the list, but I'm including the other two because I often play them all in a row. These are very new purchases to be on the list at all, but my partner likes it so I can get away with playing it during the day. Drone-pop my beloved.

8 - Spectacular Spectacular - Blur

This album is always left off those lists of trans musicians that get shared about tumblr, which is a shame. It's not screamy punk or noisy synth so maybe it gets overlooked amongst the GLOSS and HERS and Against Me! types, but there are other trans experiences and expressions, and this is one. Beautiful and heartfelt, a must listen when I'm sad about boys (which is often).

9 - Audioslave - Audioslave

Though often thought of by the cool kids as less than the sum of its parts, I really dig Audioslave. Just because it plays on the radio doesn't mean you can't enjoy it too, loose your grip on ego and enjoy yourself, I know I am.

10 - Portishead - Portishead/Dummy

Some guy I used to work with put on Portishead one day and was crestfallen when I said "I used to cry to this as a lovesick teenager." He clearly thought he had found something super obscure and was proud of himself for showing it off. Serves him right for playing "Sour Times" the day after I broke up with my girlfriend.

Honourary mention - Adam And The Ants - Kings Of The Wild Frontier

The reason I say 98% of my music is offline is because I listen to Adam Ant a lot on Youtube. This album seems impossible to find as a CD for some reason, even though it was reissued in 2004. It's on Spotify, but I've been struggling to find a copy of it off the streams, so while it's not in my top 10 from Poweramp, it is top 10 in my heart.

So there you have it, my top 10 albums of 2024. There are at least another five albums I would have thought would be on this list and aren't, but I guess the stats don't lie. In an era where Spotify doesn't pay artists unless they get over 1000 listens, and even then their cut is split with the giants till it's almost nothing, I think there's no better time to cut the umbilical to constant access and be more intentional about the music we listen to and the artists we support. I buy digital albums from Bandcamp when I can, but even when I'm buying old CDs at least I'm actually getting something for my $15 a month. The wait for them to arrive in the mail and the space they take up means that I have to be very deliberate about what music I enjoy and will actively choose to listen to, and that makes me enjoy them more. Sitting with the album cover reading through the booklet as it rips onto my hard drive and plays in the background is very grounding, in a way it gives me confidence in other life decisions, it's small practice in making choices and expressing intention, and being rewarded for it. I highly recommend you to try this too, and maybe next year your wrapped will be music you have had a connection with and felt something about, and not just a bunch of songs you listened to without thinking.

[shefaniquotes]

SHEFANI PLAYLIST (Spotify 🎧)

Songs that have been referenced by Blake or Gwen in connection to their relationship or are otherwise associated with them

1. Hotline Bling – Drake

💬 Blake: "Gwen sang it to me on 'The Tonight Show' one night, so ..."

🎼Call me on my cell phone Late night when you need my love I know when that hotline bling That can only mean one thing

2. Step By Step – Eddie Rabbitt

💭 Blake often sang this song in BSers Lounge – fans associated it with Shefani

🎼First step, ask her out and treat her like a lady Second step, tell her she's the one you're dreaming of Third step, take her in your arms and never let her go Don't you know that step by step, step by step, you'll win her love?

3. Leather and Lace – Stevie Nicks

💬 Blake: "We should [cover that song]." Shefani fans favorite since Gwen performed the song in December 2015

🎼But I carry this feeling When you walked into my house That you won't be walking out the door Still, I carry this feeling When you walked into my house That you won't be walking out the door

4. I've Been Lookin' – Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

💭 Back in summer 2018, Blake’s mom posted a video of them singing this song while driving in OK

🎼I've been looking for a love Someone to hold as I lay sleepin' I'm not talking 'bout someone Who's scared of promises Or keepin' 'em I'm just looking for a love To stand the test of time I've been lookin' for someone To be all mine

5. Baby I'm-a Want You – Bread

💬 Gwen: "What’s that song that I love…?" - Blake: "Baby I'm-a Want You by Bread?"

Blake on The Voice: "Gwen's not kidding. We listen to Bread all the time."

🎼Used to be my life was just emotions passing by Then you came along and made me laugh and made me cry You taught me why Baby, I'm-a want you Baby, I'm-a need you

6. There’s No Stoppin’ Your Heart – Marie Osmond

💬 Blake: "I love that song ‘There’s No Stopping Your Heart."

🎼I plan to be the one who sticks around Ooh your love could lift me up above the clouds I get so high when I'm with you, I may never come down When forever starts, There's no stopping, no stopping, no stopping your heart

7. I Want To Know What Love Is – Foreigner

💬Gwen: "You took a song that’s actually on my makeout playlist"

🎼I wanna know what love is I want you to show me I wanna feel what love is I know you can show me

8. So Small – Carrie Underwood

💬 Blake on The Voice back in 2016: "I completely got wrapped up in the lyrics of that song. You delivered the message to me tonight, and I totally related to the lyrics of that song."

🎼And what you've been out there searching for forever Is in your hands Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else Seem so small

9. Haven’t Got Time for the Pain – Carly Simon

💬 Gwen: "I would dedicate this song to @Blakeshelton gx."

🎼All those crazy nights when I cried myself to sleep Now melodrama never makes me weep anymore 'Cause I haven't got time for the pain I haven't got room for the pain I haven't the need for the pain Not since I've known you

10. Stricken – No Doubt

💬 "She asked me if I knew the song Stricken and told me she recently sent it to Blake."

🎼I love you completely I guess I'm kinda mad about you I love you, I love you I do Love overcomes all of my senses Lowers all of my defenses, yeah

11. Defenseless – Kirk Jay

💬 Blake: “This is my life right now.”

🎼Oh, I'm defenseless Like a drought to a flame I’m defenseless Girl, when you say my name But the thing is I have never felt safer than this

12. Lookin' For Love – Johnny Lee

💬 Blake before playing the song: "I’ll try. I gotta do it for Gwen."

🎼Well, I spent a lifetime lookin' for you Single bars and good time lovers were never true Playing a fools game, hopin' to win And tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again You came knockin' on my heart's door You're everything I've been looking for

13. Turn Your Lights Down – Bob Marley and the Wailers

💬 Blake: "Gwen and I have a playlist. I want their version." - John: "It's a good love song for when you guys..." - Blake: "You're talking about loove."

🎼This potion might, this ocean might, carry me In a wave of emotion to ask you to marry me And every word, every second, and every third Expresses the happiness more clearly than ever heard (uh) And when I play 'em, every chord is a poem Tellin' the Lord how grateful I am because I know him (what? word) The harmonies possess a sensation similar to your caress (uh)

14. In Your eyes – Peter Gabriel

💭 The first dance song

🎼In your eyes The light, the heat (Your eyes) I am complete (Your eyes) I see the doorway to a thousand churches (Your eyes)

15. Islands in the Stream – Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

💬 Gwen: "That song would be my dream if me and Blake could do that song together one day."

🎼I can't live without you if the love was gone Everything is nothing if you got no one And you did walk in the night Slowly losing sight of the real thing But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt Too deep in love and we got no way out

[baby-alien11]

Blurb: The Tortured Poets Department (Y/N Ulrich Universe)

inspired by the conversation with my girls @gabbylovesreading @nikfigueiredo (yes, we finally have a gc)

taglist (open): @volturi-girl-imagines @dessxoxsworld @camiesully @ethanlandryluver @nowitsmissing @aliciacat20 @gabbylovesreading @nikfigueiredo @itsaaliyah2

Ever since Taylor Swift anounced TTPD at the Grammys, while you were at the Saturn Awards with Jack, you along the rest of the swifties and the internet, went into a spyral of theories, specially after the song titles and the clues she left

And when the day finally came, which was also in race weekend with the Shangai Grand Prix, meaning that sleeping wasn't an option, but it was good that half of the refrigerator was full of cans of Red Bull of different flavors

While watching the practice on F1TV, you started to prepare your environment which consisted on Spotify open in your laptop with the countdown, a dictionary, a box of tissues, a can of Coconut-Berry Red Bull to survive the night

"Tatum, baby, I'm sorry for the person I'm about to become", you apologized to your cat hugging her against your chest, "Mommy is going to be okay, I promise"

"Hey, tornado", Skeet said standing at the entrance of your room, "Just checking in before the album is released, you need anything else, a snack or another Red Bull?"

"I'm good at the moment, thank you dad", you responded, "And I'm sorry in advance for my cries and screams"

"Don't worry, I have my earplugs, so scream and cry all you want, good night"

Practically running away, Skeet closed the door of your room leaving you and Tatum in there; once there was only five minutes for the album release, you turned down the volume of the TV, and turning up the volume of your laptop, all while Tatum went to her squishmallow shark bed and try to sleep

"Hey babe, this voice message is before I heard The Tortured Poests Department, because I won't be the same, and this will be the first voice message of the night, sweet dreams, love you", you said recording it before sending it to Jack

Once it was the time, you tried to press play but it wasn't possible because of all the people trying to listen to it, so closing and opening it again worked, playing it finally and hearing the melody of the first song

During the listenign of the album, you were crying and screaming because of the references and lyrics, while sending Jack audios about the songs, and also seeing the end of the free practices and seeing two of your new friends in the first three places, before returning to listen to the album

And just as you were listening it for the second time, a notif apeared on your phone that made you enter in shock

"The woman just released a second album", you exclaimed recording a voice note for Jack, "Blondie doesn't sleep"

Finishing your can of Red Bull, you pressed play on the second album listening to it, while the sprint qualy started, at the end of the second album, you were laying on your carpet with your phone in hand and used tissues close, while Tatum watched you fron your bed with judgement

"The album destroyed me, worst than I thought, I have no more tears in me", you said recording another voice note, before turning your head to your TV, that was playing the ending of the qualy, "And how the fuck is Lando on pole position?!"

The next day, after falling asleep late, the first thing you saw when you went downstairs was a PR package from Taylor Swift

[theraggedygirl11]

I found in you what was lost in me

CHAPTER 7 : Eti chuvstva - voda, svodyat s uma

TITLE OF THE CHAPTER: Eti chuvstva - Sergey Lazarev

CHAPTER 1 - CHAPTER 6 - CHAPTER 8

PAIRING: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

WARNINGS: blood drinking, blood and injury, death of a main character (but he'll be back dont worry), implied suicide/suicidal thoughts, desperation (lmao), hurt/comfort, human/vampire relationship, some historical chapters, flashbacks, mostly edited, hint of jankris

WORDS COUNT: 7.264

LINK: AO3

NOTES: Hello everyone!

Sorry for the belated chapter, I was busy and had literally zero free time to even open my laptop, BUT HERE WE ARE!

Maybe (or maybe not) this is an important chapter for our beloved Jan and Nace, just know that Damon's photoshooting is involved aaaaand stuff happens. It was too juicy for not adding it to this fic

The title of the chapter means "these feelings are like water, they make us go crazy", the song is "Eti chuvstva - voda" by Sergey Lazarev

PLAYLIST: Youtube - Spotify

I don’t wanna go But baby we both know This is not our time It’s time to say goodbye Until we meet again 'Cause this is not the end It will come a day When we will find our way Violins playing and the angels crying When the stars align then I’ll be there

No, I don’t care about them all 'Cause all I want is to be loved And all I care about is you You stuck on me like a tattoo

No, I don’t care about the pain I’ll walk through fire and through rain Just to get closer to you You stuck on me like a tattoo

I’m letting my hair down I’m taking it cool You got my heart in your hand Don’t lose it my friend It’s all that I got Violins playing and the angels crying When the stars align then I’ll be there

No, I don’t care about them all 'Cause all I want is to be loved And all I care about is you You stuck on me like a tattoo

No, I don’t care about the pain I’ll walk through fire and through rain Just to get closer to you You stuck on me like a tattoo

Oh, I don’t care about them all 'Cause all I want is to be loved And all I care about is you You stuck on me like a tattoo

I don’t care about the pain I’ll walk through fire and through rain Just to get closer to you You stuck on me like a tattoo

All I care about is love Oh oh oh All I care about is love You stuck on me like a tattoo

Tattoo - Loreen 

Jan is on the threshold of the room in which Nace and Jure sleep in their London apartment. Nace is already in the dreamworld, his breath is relaxed, his heart beats slow. He could lie awake next to him just to watch him sleep for hours without feeling bored.

“Will you stare at him forever?”

“I might be, Krisko.” 

His friend hugs him from behind, lays his head on his shoulder and his hands on his stomach. Jan lays his hand on Kris’.

“You should tell him.”

“What?”

“That you love him. And what you are. Everything. I see how you look at each other, he loves you too.”

“Nace won’t accept a relationship with me, not after that, Krisko. And I don’t want to suf-”

“You are already suffering, Janči. You need him. Don't be stubborn, it's crystal clear. Besides, he’s remembering, this must be a sign. And he forgave you.”

Kris is right, as always. He needs him by his side, like he needs air and blood to live. But is he really willing to be vulnerable with him again? Open his heart, show his true self to him, lower his defences? He did this so many times, once more won’t change a thing, it's true. But there are so many unknown scenarios, is he really willing to risk it all again? What if he destroys what they all built around this band? What if Nace doesn't accept Jan as a vampire?

“Tomorrow Nace and I have our photoshoot with Damon,” Jan abruptly changes the focus of their chat.

“Together?”

“Damon insisted on having us both together. He says that we are a package deal.”

Kris chuckles. “See? Even a human who barely knows you two saw that you are connected. You should tell him, I’m serious.”

“Yeah, maybe I really should tell him,” Jan whispers. 

Maybe the photoshoot will be the right moment to confess everything, the vulnerable moment he needs to let his worries go and be brave enough to show his true self to Nace. And hoping that he wants to be in a relationship with him.

* * *

“Dear Nace, dear Jan, I have only one question for you two,” Damon is sitting on an armchair in front of the couch where the two musicians are. “Do you love each other?”

They exchange a quick confused look, then Jan speaks. “Define ‘love’, please.”

“You know what love means, honey. You radiate love when you look at your lovely bassist next to you.”

Silence falls in the room. Jan gulps and lowers his eyes. He’s fidgeting with his nail polish, ruining it. He feels exposed by those words, he’s nervous. Damon won’t reveal to the world anything related to their photoshoots and the conversation they are having before it, unless they agree on what he can share, but even this knowledge doesn’t help him to relax.

“Yes. I do love Jan.”

Jan turns to Nace. He can smell anxiety and resignation coming from him.

“He’s special to me. I love all my bandmates, I love my parents, my sister, my turtles, but the love I feel towards Jan is different. It’s like being a two-pieces puzzle that misses his other half, but when it finds it, they fit together perfectly because they are meant to be together and not with anyone else.”

Nace keeps looking in front of him, directly towards Damon, who is now smiling. Jan’s heart is beating faster and faster in his chest. Nace continues talking after that brief pause.

“I don’t know what type of love this is, the only thing I know for sure is that this love is one of a kind I never felt in my life. I had a couple of relationships in the past, but what I felt with those girls is nothing compared to what I feel when I see Jan or when we are together. This is intense, is pure, this is the… ‘I want to spend my whole life with him’ kind of love.”

Jan’s eyes widen. He’s about to talk, but Nace speaks before he could do anything.

“I know that my love is unrequited, though. Jan’s heart belongs to someone else. Or to no one, I don’t know. For sure, it doesn’t belong to me.”

“Nace-”

“Jan, you know I’m right. I don’t even know why I agreed to do this photoshoot with you,” Nace turns to him, sighing. “If it’s not Kris the one you love, it must be someone else, then, maybe Bojan, or Jure, but it’s not me, I’m sure of it.”

“Why are you so sure, Nace?” Damon joins the conversation.

“Because I tried so many times to approach him, to tell him that I’m into him since the first day we met,” Nace replies to Damon, moving his eyes on the photographer. “We kept exchanging glances, we spent time together, we looked for each other, and he took care of me while I was sick once. But then I see him with Kris, so close, so intimate with him, I…saw them kiss and undress each other, months ago. I felt fooled, played with.”

Damon looks at Jan. “Do you love him or love someone else?”

“It’s…it’s complicated,” he whispers.

“You always say this, Jan, and never explain anything about it,” Nace looks at him too. “Just be clear for once, say yes or no. I need some sort of closure for this so I can go on.”

Their eyes meet. Now Jan’s even more nervous, his heart is pounding in his chest.

Some minutes pass, Jan’s silent and says nothing, his brain stopped working when he heard the word “closure”.

Nace shakes his head. “Like I imagined. You can’t decide, you want to keep your foot on both camps,” he sighs again, then stands up. “I’d like to go home. We can do my photoshoot on another day, if it’s ok for you.”

“Yeah, sure, dear Nace. You can go.”

Nace starts walking towards the door of the room, passing in front of Jan. The vampire is fast, he doesn’t control his reaction, he just acts out of pure instinct. He grabs Nace's wrist, he knows this is his last chance or he'll lose him for good, then pulls him, making him fall on the couch, on his laps, then cups his face and presses his lips against Nace’s while closing his eyes. This kiss is full of desire, but also despair, a silent request of “please, stay here, don’t leave me”. 

“Not again”.

Nace takes a couple of seconds before he’s kissing Jan’s back, even though he remains hesitant.

“Prosim, prosim, prosim, povej mi, da je to res, da to ni nekaj, kar počneš zaradi panike ali česa drugega (Please, please, please, tell me this is real, that this isn't something you are doing out of panic or something else),” Nace whispers against Jan’s lips. “Ti me resnično ljubiš? (Do you truly love me?)” 

“Ja, resnično te ljubim, Nacko, (Yes, I truly love you, Nacko)” he answers in Slovenian while looking at him.

“I think you have something to discuss in private,” Damon smiles while leaving the room and closing the door behind him. No one takes his eyes off of the other.

“Are you telling the truth?” Nace asks again.

The vampire gently grabs the human’s hand and places it on top of his heart, which is beating fast.

“I’m telling the truth. I’m…I’m just stupid and was too scared to…allow myself to love you.”

Nace moves and staddles Jan’s lap. He softly stokes his cheek.

“Why are you so scared? I’m not a monster, I’m not a bad person,” he keeps whispering. “Are you afraid of being…openly gay? Or not straight, I don’t know.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not afraid of that, I’m afraid of love, of being vulnerable.”

“You never loved?”

“I loved someone and it destroyed me. He was the nicest person, the…feelings were too intense.”

Nace hugs Jan, gently. The dark-haired vampire lays his head on Nace’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He feels Nace’s hand in his hair. His intentions of keeping distance from him just crumbled.

They stay in that position for seconds, or maybe even some minutes. It’s just the two of them in that moment, nothing else matters, not the band, not the photoshoot, absolutely nothing. 

Jan raises his head and his eyes meet Nace’s. He caresses his cheeks, then cups them and leans forward to lay his lips on Nace’s for another kiss, this time he’s a bit hesitant. They just confessed their feelings, but the fear of rejection is still there, the fear of all this being just a dream.

Nace lays his forehead against Jan’s, then they continue talking.

“For how long?” Nace asks, whispering.

“Since we met in the studio.”

“Since then? It's been more than a year.”

“I told you, I was afraid and…basically denied everything.”

“I thought you were into Kris, I saw how close you and him are, I thought you two were dating but not openly. But then all those moments between you and me happened and I was so confused,” Nace sighs and closes his eyes.

Jan cups his face again. “Nace, look at me,” and he continues only when their eyes lock. “We are here now. It doesn’t matter. This is our beginning, ok?” He smiles fondly at him. “Kris and I are just friends. Yeah, we almost hooked up, but we are still friends.”

Nace smiles back, sweetly. 

How can Jan say no to him? Those sweet eyes and that happy smile are worth living every moment with him, even though the pain at the end will be great and devastating. He can’t give up on his guiding star, his light is too important for him. Maybe he’s a masochist after all.

Kranj, 30th of June, 1994

Repose, my love, I've sinned enough for the both of us (In the name of love)

I'm ready to bury all of my bones I'm ready to lie but say I won't So tell me your secrets And join me in pieces To rot in this garden made of stones

Eternally yours Eternally yours

Eternally Yours - Motionless In White

As we rest here alone like notes on a page The finest to compose could not play our pain With a candle through time I can still see your ghost But I can't close my eyes, for it For it is there where you haunt me most Where you haunt me most

Another Life - Motionless In White

Centuries had passed by since their first meeting, but Jan sometimes still went back to Ignac’s first grave. He remembered exactly where he was buried, now the graveyard was a forest and the gravestone became a simple piece of white rock on the ground. He just sat there, or lied on the ground, sometimes he talked to the grave and told his adventures using their ancient language, some other times he kept his mouth shut.

He met Ignac many other times across the centuries, so many versions of him. He saw him die every single time. He loved him every time, without hesitation, without remorse, completely aware of what was waiting for him at the end.

But he also passed many decades alone, between one incarnation and the other. And in those moments he wandered their lands, looking for his Ignac. Because he was so lost without him. He kept referencing him as his “dark star”, because he kept getting dark on him when he died, making him fall back into his cold and empty world. He wanted to send signals to him to say “my love, I’m here, come find me”, he needed him so badly, but Fate liked to brutally play with these two cursed lovers.

What if he just died? What if he just allowed his thirst to consume him until he was too weak even to feed? What if he just killed himself? Or maybe he could find one of those hunters who looked for vampires to kill them. Maybe there was a chance for a damned soul like his to be redimed and have access to Heaven. He was not a believer, he had never been one even when he was a human, but…maybe he could start praying to Him to ask for mercy. He just wanted to be with his beloved Ignac. Could he really join him? Be happy with him? 

He chuckled, then touched the white rock with a hand. “No, salvation isn’t a plan for me, my love, my Ignac. I will forever run in circles, chasing after you just for a glance or a fleeting kiss. I envy you, living your human life, and forgetting what you lived once you are reborn,” he closed his eyes. “I have so many curses. I love you and you don’t want to become like me. I live forever and the moments you are not with me feel like death to me. I will forever remember every single moment we lived together, from the happiest to the saddest and most painful, but every time we meet again you won't remember me. Will I break them one day? Will I ever be free to be with you?”

Nace brings him back from that memory with a tender kiss, less hesitant than the others. They keep kissing gently, there’s no lust, just desire to feel the other and sweetness.

At some point, Jan pushes Nace and makes him lay on the couch, then he places himself on top of him. He lays his head on his chest, closes his eyes and listens to his fast heartbeat. Nace starts running a hand through his messy hair. Oh, he knows how to make him relax, of course. 

“Damon promised us a session of ‘boys kissing behind closed doors’ in the end…” Nace chuckles.

“He’s cruel.”

“Why? Because he made us come out of our closet? Are you regretting all this?”

Jan raises his head and shakes it. “No! Oh God, no, Nace, I’m not regretting this, I would never. This is the best thing I could ask for.”

“Then why did you say that?”

“I told you, I don’t like when I’m too vulnerable. It’s scary.”

“Janči, I’m here with you. You are not alone in this, I will be with you even during your alone session. We agreed on this, remember?” Nace intertwines their fingers. “Together forever. I don’t forget my promise to you. I meant it when I said those words, romantic or platonic love, it didn't matter.”

This is the time, Jan realises. He needs to tell him the truth about his true nature now, or he won’t be able to catch another perfect moment.

“Nace, I want to tell you something else about me. Promise me you won't run away.”

They both sit on the couch. Jan’s heart is racing in his chest. Well, like it had time to relax.

“Uhm…yeah, ok, I promise,” he's visibly confused and also worried.

“Do you believe in the existence of supernatural beings?”

“Like ghosts?”

“Ghosts, werewolves…vampires.”

Nace is now completely confused. He can't follow Jan's train of thoughts. Jan grabs Nace's hands and kisses them on the palms before looking him in the eyes again.

“Vampires exist, they have for centuries. They hide in plain sight, among humans.”

“No, Jan, vampires don't exis-”

“Yes, they do, Nace,” he interrupts him, then stops talking. He's nervous, he's scared, his heart wants to escape from his chest. He's mentally begging Nace to not run away once he reveals himself. “You have one right in front of you. I am a vampire.”

“Janči, if this is a jok-”

Jan's eyes turn red, his fangs become sharper just like his claws. Nace pales, his eyes widen, and he recoils, scared. Jan lets his hands go.

“I-It’s still me, Ignac-” he realises immediately what he just said and corrects himself. “Nace. It’s still me, Nace. It's still Janči.”

The vampire can smell fear coming from the human in front of him, from his human. There, he ruined everything again, just like their first ever meeting, centuries ago. He closes his eyes, lowers his head, he can feel his heart beginning to shatter into a million pieces. His hands are still lifted in front of him, claws on display. He tries to stand up, but strong hands grab both his wrists.

“Don’t go, please.”

Jan opens his eyes and looks at Nace. There’s fear, but there’s also something else, he can’t really grasp it. He’s too focused on Nace’s eyes, he’s mesmerised by them and by the pleading he sees in them.

“I-I’m sorry for my reaction. It’s just-I’m-” Nace takes a deep breath, he’s trying to find the right words. “I am scared, yes. I won’t deny it. But…you are Jan. You are my bandmate and my friend and also something more,” he closes his eyes and sighs. “I’m so bad with words.”

Jan cups his face and caresses his cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter, Nacko. I understood,” he smiles. “Thank you for not running away.”

Nace then pulls Jan closer and hugs him. Jan lays his head on his shoulder, his nose touches slightly the human’s neck. He deeply inhales Nace’s scent.

“Are you going to bite me, now?” Nace chuckles.

“I’m a vampire, not a savage. I can control myself,” Jan replies, smiling. “I bite only if you allow me to. Or for self defense.”

“Do you really feed on blood? Like, is it true?”

“Yup. We do feed on blood. It’s not a legend, unfortunately. And it’s a pain in the ass. Blood stains a lot.”

Nace chuckles. “How often do you feed?”

“Uhm…twice a week, more or less. Then, it depends on what I have to do. I can go up to five or six days without blood if I don’t have much to do.”

“But I saw you eat normal food, like chips and fruits.”

“Yeah, we can eat human food without any problem. It’s just not nutritious for us, or slightly,” Jan raises his head and lays his back on the backrest of the couch. “Like, a rare steak is good, a salad…not at all.”

“Animal blood too?”

“Yeah, every kind of blood. Unfortunately, human blood is the best for us.”

“So how do you…?”

“How do I feed?” Jan sees worry in Nace’s eyes. He tenderly smiles. “No, I don’t go around biting people on the neck, if this concerns you. There are humans who kindly offer their blood to us, or we use blood bags. It may happen that some of them are useless because the blood’s not good, so we take them from the hospitals. Blood doesn’t get wasted this way.”

“Do you feed on people too? Like, directly on people, biting them?”

Did Jan spot a note of jealousy in Nace’s voice? 

“It may happen, sometimes,” Nace grabs Jan’s hand and kisses its back, making Jan blush a bit. “But it’s consensual, from people who know our existence and simply enjoy being bitten.”

“Do…the others know about you?” Nace is hesitant here.

Jan shakes his head. “No. Well, only Kris knows.”

“Only Kris? Why?”

“Because we have known each other for more than ten years and I fully trust him. He helped me so much and he deserved to know about me. I got rejected by so many people I considered friends when I showed this side of me, thus I’m careful now when my true nature is concerned.”

“You must trust me so much, then. I feel honoured.”

Jan nods, then pecks his lips.

“I utterly trust you, my love, with my life.”

And after that heartfelt discussion with those confessions from Jan, the duo calls Damon back in the room to proceed with their joint photoshoot first and their separate later. As promised, Nace stays even during Jan's photo session. This helps the vampire feel more relaxed and more at ease.

Once they are done, they take the long way home, just to be alone and behave like a proper couple: they hold hands, they kiss, they even grab a coffee to go from a café they wanted to try since they arrived in London. Nace makes Jan laugh with so many jokes and anecdotes. 

That old lady in Liverpool was right, in the end. Even if he's a vampire, and he'll meet Nace again and again in the future, spending time with him, getting to know this new version of him feels like falling in love all over again with a new person. Every new Ignac he meets has new facets, new hobbies, new anecdotes, new stories to tell and Jan will never be tired of discovering which version he has in front of him. He'll live forever, but these moments with this Nace won't come back.

When they arrive at their rented apartment, they are still holding hands, their lips are dominated by huge smiles and their eyes search for each other’s looks.

“Finally you are back! We want to order piz-” Bojan is staring at them. “Did we miss something?”

Kris, who is half sat and half laid on the couch, understands immediately what happened. “Oh, finally!”

Bojan turns towards Kris. “What? Finally what?” He turns back to them, confused.

Jan and Nace exchange a quick glance. Nace nods and smiles, then Jan leans forward and pecks his lips. He smiles hearing whistles and claps.

“I agree with Kris, finally!” Exclaims Jure, coming from upstairs. “It was agony watching you two flirt and nothing more.”

“And I agree with Jure,” says Bojan, smiling and clapping and doing little jumps in their tiny living room.

Jan blushes, tightening Nace’s hand. 

“Let’s say that Damon pushed us a bit,” admits the bassist while reaching a couch and sitting on it. He invites Jan to join him, so he does. 

“That’s why he insisted on having you both on the same day? He played Cupid, and now I understand why he wrote about boys kissing behind closed doors! What a genius he is,” Bojan giggles. “How was your photoshoot?” 

“Intense,” answers Jan. “Revealing and…liberating,” he lays his head on Nace’s shoulder. 

Kris looks Jan in the eyes, then quickly glances at Nace and imitates two fangs with his fingers. Jan thinks that he's probably asking whether Nace knows that he's a vampire now. And he nods to answer his question. Kris smiles, almost certainly relieved to see that Nace didn't run away from Jan and that the band won't be dismantled.

The guys keep talking for a bit, then Bojan orders those famous pizzas he mentioned when Jan and Nave got back from the photo session with Damon. While they wait for their dinner, Jan goes back to his room to wear more comfortable clothes. Kris follows him.

“You should tell Jure and Bojan too, in my opinion.”

“Do you think this is a good moment?”

“Half of the band knows it, they deserve to know it too,” Jan looks at his guitar case, remaining silent. “They trust Nace. He is here after your revelation, they will accept you. They are not stupid.”

“What if they don't, Kris? This…this band is everything I have. I found my place, I found my nest, my family,” he turns towards Kris with teary eyes.

“And you'll keep having it, Jan,” Kris cups Jan’s cheeks. “I'll be by your side, and Nace too. You are not alone. And if Bojan starts some drama, you can always use your vampiric powers to shut him up,” Kris giggles and Jan joins him, then the human hugs his vampiric friend.

“I…I'll do it, then.”

The evening proceeds as usual. They eat their pizzas in that small living room, sitting on those two couches, Jure and Bojan on one side and Jan, Nace and Kris on the other. After finishing the pizzas, they keep drinking some beers while Jure prepares their favourite rice pudding with milk. Bojan helps him, so Kris, Jan and Nace are the only one in the living room, just outside the kitchen. Jan is sitting next to Nace, laying his head on the other’s shoulder. He’s observing Nace while he plays a couple of matches with his online Pokémon cards game. He doesn't understand anything related to that game, but he enjoys seeing Nace having fun with it.

In the middle of a match a new notification from Nace’s mail app appears. It’s from Damon. They both exchange a quick glance. The photos are there. It will be the first time seeing them. Jan takes a deep breath while Nace withdraws from the match and then opens the mail to download the pictures.

They start looking at them, one by one, beginning from Jan’s session. 

He can see the vampire in him peeking in those images. His piercing glance directed to the camera, the antiquity in his eyes. The harshness of someone who lived so long and saw so many things, good and bad, and his tiredness too. His desire of hiding from the world to not be seen because sometimes he still feels like a monster, even after all those centuries, because he will never age and the world is not ready to know about the existence of such creatures like him, and maybe never will be.

Nace lays his arm on Jan’s shoulders, catching his attention. Jan turns, Nace is smiling at him, he can see love pouring from his face. They quickly kiss, then continue to watch the photos. After Jan’s photo session, Nace opens the folder with the pictures of their joint session.

The vampire is once again stunned by Damon’s ability. The photos with Nace are something completely different. He’s defensive with him, he dares the person behind the camera to come and take Nace away from him, to just try and touch him. He’s ready to defend him, to protect him from the entire world if necessary. He’s saying “he’s mine, he’s my mate, you won’t have him”. 

But then, then come the pictures where he and Nace are facing each other. The harshness of the vampire completely disappears, he looks like a different person, a different creature, maybe even more human. He’s smiling at Nace, he’s looking at him like he’s the sun-no, like he’s his guiding star. There’s only softness and love in his eyes, and Nace is looking back at him with the same feelings. They are so lost in each other, the world ceased to exist in that moment. It's only them and nothing else, no one else, but that glass layer protecting from the world and allowing them to be happy. 

Damon took photos of them kissing too, and those are stunning. Jan can’t think about anything while he’s looking at them, his head is completely empty. He will cherish those pictures because he never got the chance to have a tangible memory of him and Nace together as a couple, behaving like two lovers. These pics are only for Jan and Nace, at least for now. 

Nace eventually opens his own folder. Jan thinks he won’t survive this one. Nace looks otherworldly, more inhuman than an actual vampire, or maybe it’s only Jan that sees him this way because he’s in love with him. He turns his attention to his boyfriend, noticing that he was holding his breath. He lays his hand on his chest.

“Breathe, my love,” he whispers. “It’s ok. You are beautiful, and the pics are stunning, just like you,” the kisses him on the cheek.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am,” he pecks his lips. “Relax. I’m here with you,” he smiles.

Jan grabs Nace’s hand, intertwining their fingers, then together they look at Damon’s photos. Nace looks stunning indeed, picture after picture. He can decide on which one is the best in his opinion, to be honest. How could he? Nace looks beautiful in every moment.

“You should post this one,” comments Jan suddenly. They are looking at a close-up of Nace, he’s looking at the camera from a side, his head is resting over his arms and his tattooed arm is partially hiding the lower part of his face, especially his lips. He looks so peaceful, so vulnerable, almost like the photographer caught him during a resting or a pensive moment. 

This is him, his Ignac, the man Jan fell in love with centuries ago. 

“Yeah, I think I’m cute here.”

“Only cute? Come on, Nace, you are stunning.”

“You say so just because I’m your boyfriend.”

“I say so because it’s true,” then Jan turns towards Kris. “Come here one moment, Krisko. I need your opinion.”

“What?” Kris raises his eyes from his phone.

“I need your opinion on a picture.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Kris stands up and sits next to Nace, then looks at the screen of the laptop. He’s visibly speechless.

“Wow. Damon is really a master of photography. It’s…amazing. Nace, you look fantastic.”

“See? Even Kris thinks the same.”

Nace’s face is completely red, he’s overwhelmed by all those compliments. In that moment Jure and Bojan arrive with the rice pudding.

“What is happening?” Bojan asks, seeing Nace red.

“Damon sent their photos,” Kris replies.

“Oh, can we see them? Pretty please! I’m sure they are stunning just like mine and Kris’,” Bojan adds.

They nod at the same time. Thus Jan and Nace show their photo session to the other bandmates, listening to their comments and interpretations while eating their rice pudding. It’s nice and funny hearing some of their comments and stuff that comes up in their mind. This is Jan’s family, so…yeah, maybe it’s the right time to expose his true nature. 

“Guys?” He calls them. “I’d…I’d like to tell you something before going to bed.”

He watches Jure and Bojan glancing at each other, confused, meanwhile Kris grabs his hand just to make him feel his support. Jan’s not alone in this one.

“What do you want to tell us?” Asks Bojan, looking at Jan.

Jan takes deep breaths. He needs to be brave, to tell them, they are his friends, they won’t judge him or run away scared. He hopes so.

“I’m not-like, I’m-” he starts speaking, but he doesn't know how to come out to them. “I’m-fuck it,” he just hisses, frustrated. He closes his eyes, takes another deep breath, then opens again his mouth to speak. “I’m not human.”

In that moment he feels a familiar hand on his back. It’s Nace’s, he could recognise his touch everywhere. He’s supporting him too, understanding what he’s doing.

“What do you mean ‘you are not human’?” This time it is Jure who asks. 

“I’m not human,” Jan repeats, then makes his fangs and his claws appear and shifts his eyes to make them become red as blood. He opens his eyes and glances at his friends who startle and recoil for the surprise, Jure more than Bojan.

“Vampire,” Bojan whispers. The initial shock on his face disappears instantly. “You are a vampire too!”

Ok, this isn’t the reaction Jan was expecting. Now it’s his turn to be confused.

“My sister is dating a vampire,” Bojan explains. “I met him a couple of times, so…yeah, I know that vampires exist.”

“So…it’s not a problem? You are not scared?” Jan asks.

Bojan shakes his head. “Not at all, you are still Janči. Why should I be afraid?”

“Wait, I am the only one who didn’t know about vampires?!” Jure exclaims, looking at his bandmates, one by one.

“Apparently,” Jan replies, blushing a bit. “So…it’s not a problem for you too?” He then asks the drummer.

Jure shakes his head. “No, like Bojan said, you are still Jan. If you were dangerous, I think we would have already known it.”

“May I ask you something?” Bojan says while holding his hand up.

“Uhm…ok, go on.”

“Does your blood heal and cure stuff, right?”

“This is a weirdly specific question,” Jan comments. “But yes, it does. Why?”

“Can I drink it when I’m sick?” Bojan shows his puppy eyes while looking at Jan.

“Bojan, no. You get sick too often to let you drink my blood so many times. I have no idea which kind of effects it could have on humans.”

“Come on, Jan! You said it, I get sick so often, I need something to help me get better.” “Yes, human medicines.”

“Uff, you are a bad friend,” and then Bojan pouts, just like a child.

The whole band laugh, seeing that scene, then Bojan and Jure stand up to then go on the other couch and initiate a big group hug. Jan feels better, relieved too because now his best friends know what he is. He doesn't need to hide from them anymore.

* * *

Kris and Jure agreed to change the room disposition to allow Jan and Nace to stay together, Nace moved immediately to Jan’s bedroom. This will be the first time that Jan sleeps in the same room and in the same bed with his beloved human as boyfriends. They wear their pyjamas, then tuck under those fluffy covers. 

Jan deeply inhales Nace’s scent, he places his head on his chest. Nace wraps him with his arm, laying his hand on Jan’s waist. 

“It feels surreal, honestly. I dreamed so much about this moment and…it’s finally here,” Nace whispers, his voice falters a bit.

“We were both idiots.”

“I concur, yes,” Nace chuckles, then falls silent, but just for a few seconds. “Now I get why you never got ill and your wounds healed so fast.”

Jan chuckles. “Touché. Just a couple of perks of being a vampire.”

“When you stayed with me, right after the Eurovision, when you cut your finger…God, I was so confused because you stopped bleeding so fast. I blamed the fever, I thought I was hallucinating.”

“Yeah, the fever helped me in that case.”

The bassist slowly caresses Jan's waist, making him shiver even through the fabric of his t-shirt. The vampire lays his hand on Nace's chest, right where his heart is. Its beatings are steady, strong, regular, a constant tu-tump. He could fall asleep on that rhythm, so familiar and so new at the same time.

“May I ask you one thing, Janči?”

He raises his head and glances at him.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Who is Ignac? You keep calling me with that name, and you did it today too when you revealed your…vampiric side. I get that my name is a more modern version of Ignac, and I suppose you are an old vampire, but…was he your previous partner?”

Jan's heart sinks in his chest. Nace deserves to know, but is Jan ready to tell him everything about them? He never told this story to any of the previous incarnations he met and dated. Also, is Nace ready to hear the whole story? Will he be overwhelmed by it?

“It's a long story. And it's even more surreal than the existence of vampires. I don’t have an explanation for this.”

“I’m listening, Janči,” Nace looks him in the eyes and caresses his cheeks. “I don’t think it could be weirder than having a vampire as boyfriend.”

“I keep meeting different incarnations of you along the centuries.”

“Different incarnations?” Nace is confused, as predicted. Jan doesn’t blame him, this story is totally absurd even for him, who lived through it.

“Yes. I keep meeting you at different moments in time. It’s always you, and your name was Ignac. You were a Lord, it was around 1.000 AD, and you had a family. We met in my castle, in old Vrhnika. And I fell in love with you instantly. I felt my heart stop beating for a second or two, and my mind was shaken, like it was just hit by a thunder. Your eyes, oh, Nace, your eyes were the most amazing thing I had ever seen, and your smile-” he touches Nace’s lips with the tips of his fingers. “Your smile felt like a summer sun shining on me,” he chuckles, then smiles and blushes. “Unfortunately, Fate wasn’t on my side. Our first relationship didn’t end well. You had a wife, and two amazing children. Then, when I told you I was a vampire, you were so afraid, you escaped and…when you were finally ready to accept me, you got killed,” Jan lowers his eyes.That memory still hurts so much, even after a millennium.

“I-I got killed?” Nace pales.

“Yes. A group of people assaulted your castle. I ran to help you, but I failed to protect you and a person killed you. I felt so guilty because I wasn’t able to save my love, so I ran away from Slovenia and travelled along Europe with Vita and Kiki.”

“They are vampires, just like you?”

Jan nods. “They were my servants in Vrhnika. They choose to be turned, I’ve never forced anyone to become like me. They stayed by my side and helped me a lot, especially after your first death. I was devastated. That trip in Europe helped me process it, but then, when I went back to Slovenia, centuries later, you were there, waiting for me, in Ljubljana. Same name, same face, same scent, like nothing happened, like time didn’t pass. And then again, I met you in Venice, in northern Italy, in the Austrian Empire, in the Balkans, century after century.”

“And you loved me every time?”

“Yes. Well, I tried. A couple of times you could not love me back, but we were good friends, really intimate. I was drawn to you, just like you were drawn to me.”

“And…you saw me die every time?”

Jan takes a few seconds before answering. “Yes, I did. Every single time. Sometimes it was peaceful, others it was…” Jan isn’t able to finish that sentence. He doesn’t want all those memories to strike him back. “Last time was during the first world war, just know this.You never wanted to be turned into a vampire, you told me that you wanted to…remain human because eternity scared you and I respected your wish.”

“Oh, fuck. This explains so much,” Nace wraps him with his arms and pulls him closer. “I now understand why you were so unwilling to open up your heart with me and you always kept your distance from me.”

Jan lays his head on his chest and closes his eyes. “I opened up a bit during the Eurovision because I realised I couldn’t have those moments with you back if I lost them, so I decided to enjoy the moment, even though from a distance. A friendship with you seemed like a good compromise, close but distant enough to shelter my heart.”

“But fate works in mysterious ways and here we are.”

“You got the point,” Jan sighs. “It’s an eternal loop that can’t be broken. I just go with the flow and hope for the best outcome.”

Silence falls again between them. Nace has a pensive expression dominating his face and Jan wonders what he might be thinking about.

“So…the conversation you had with Kiki in my living room that night…was it real? Kiki was actually there? Were you really talking about turning me into a vampire?”

Jan swallows, then diverts his eyes from Nace. Even though he defended Nace’s decision and agency, he feels so guilty because he got tempted to turn him into a vampire so many times in the past, and this includes the night Nace is talking about too.

“Yes,” he just says. “Because having you as a human by my side is hard for me.”

“Do you want me to be like you?”

Jan doesn’t answer. His silence however might be interpreted as an affirmative answer.

“Jan, please, look me in the eyes and tell me.”

The vampire moves his gaze until he meets Nace’s. It feels like a stab through the heart, the seriousness in those eyes usually so sweet. He slowly nods.

“Yes, I’d want to,” he whispers and quickly speaks again. “But you made me promise to not turn you into a vampire. I accepted it, I made my promise and I kept it. I will never do it, if you don’t want to. Even if it hurts me losing you again and again,” Jan closes his eyes to push away the tears. He’s confessing so much stuff, he never told anything to Nace’s previous incarnations. He lays his head on Nace’s chest and grabs his t-shirt in his fingers. “I-I wanted to turn you so bad, so many times, b-but I couldn’t because I promised you I wouldn’t.”

Jan just cracks, he starts crying like he never allowed himself to do, not with Majda, not with Gaspar and neither with Kris. He kept all of this pain sealed inside of him and never let it out, like it had been a feral beast to be kept caged.

Nace doesn’t say anything, his only answer is hugging Jan and keeping him as close as possible while stroking his hair with slow movements. Jan grabs Nace’s shirt with his hands and never lets it go, not even when he stops crying.

“That…that dream. In Dublin,” the bassist breaks the silence that fell in the room. “Was it a memory of my past?”

“...y-yes.”

And silence comes back in the room as the only reply from Nace. Jan guesses that he must be thinking about all those weird dreams he has been having in the last months since that night after Eurovision. 

“They were all memories,” Nace whispers.

“All of them,” Jan adds. 

The vampire looks for his human’s hand, then intertwines their fingers. It’s their way of telling each other that they are not alone in this, that they are there for each other no matter what. Jan won’t leave Nace alone in this. He just hopes that this realisation won’t break him.

[radicallytransplural]

🌙☀️🌟Anti-Radqueers Fuck Off🌟☀️🌙

Hello! We're a little new to posting in the radqueer community but we're going to try it out!

We're a transplural system of 44 members, we split often though so that number is always changing.

We're bodily 18 and a half, so we ask that minors would not interact with us. ♡

Our hyperfixations currently consist of big cats and the x-men movies. Sometimes mouthwashing.

Cis Identities We Have: Cisrace, Cisadult, CisADHD, and Cistraumatized.

Trans Identities We Have: Transplural, TransDID, Transgender(Genderfluid), and Transspecies.

We're still learning a lot about the community, we don't know a lot.

We support paraphiles but we are anti-contact, if you are pro or neutral contact we please ask you not to follow. We can't really control that though, so we'll just be blocking.♡

Other Things We Identify As:

-Genderfluid

-Abroromantic

-Aegosexual

-Fictionkin

-Reality Shifter

-LOASS Believer.

🪀~Transplural System~🪀 | 🪄Headmate Introductions!🪄

🎲Logan🎲 | Host | He/Him

Perceived Species: Human

Gender: Male.

Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Asexual Abromantic

Perceived Age: 18

Things I Like: Writing, reading, watching the x-men moving 100 times ever since I was a child, and drawing.

Things I Dislike: People, but I try to socialize anyways because it's good for me. Also loud noises.

Role: Host.

~~~~~

🕊Charles🕊 | Emotion Holder | He/Him

Perceived Species: Human? Well, technically homo superior but either way that is still said as human.

Gender: Male

Perceived Age: 43

Things I Like: Researching, planning ahead, listening to music, doodling a small bit, and cuddling the cats we have upstairs.

Things I Dislike: Rude people, I prefer to heavily not interact with them. Not a big fan of coffee either.

Role: Emotion Holder.

~~~~~

♟Erik♟ | Sleep Soother | He/Him

Perceived Species: Mutant.

Gender: Male.

Perceived Age: 46

Things I Like: Chess, writing, journaling, going for walks, tragedy novels, and being left alone.

Things I Dislike: Dealing with the body's family members... horrifying, really. No touch.

Role: Sleep Soother.

~~~~

🐠Joe🐠 | Steward | He/They

Nickname: Joey

Perceived Species: Human, I'm pretty sure!

Gender: Transgender male🏳️‍⚧️

Perceived Age: 20

Things I Like: Planning, watching horror games, reading thrillers, meditating, law of assumption, shifting, and making horror art.

Things I Dislike: chewing sounds. I hate them so much.

Birthday: July 8th

Role: Steward

~~~~~

🐙Ira🐙| Housekeeper | He/They

Nickname: None?

Perceived Species: Mercenare

Gender: trans man

Perceived Age: 1000+

Things I Like: Watching YouTube, cleaning, listening to Spotify, snacking any food, also I like looking at diamonds on pinterest. A lot.

Things I Dislike: annoying parents and people

Birthday: June 7th.

Role: Housekeeper

~~~~~

💾Izzy💾|Technician| He/They

Nickame: Izumi, Zumi, Iz.

Perceived Species: Human.

Gender: Male

Perceived Age: 16

Things I Like: Researching, gaming, figuring out game strategies, working with computers, writing, and doing puzzles.

Things I Dislike: People bothering me while I'm working, loud noises, baby crying sounds, creaky anything, and loud dog barking.

Birthday: May 3rd

Role: Technician

~~~~~

💸L💸| Reality Checker🌈| He/They/It

Perceived Species: Intelligent Human.

Gender: Male

Perceived Age: 25

Things I Like: Sweets, scrolling on pinterest, making pride necklaces, cooking a little, organizing, planning, and watching drama on youtube.

Things I Dislike: Going out.

Birthday: October 31st, 1979.

Role: Reality Checker

~~~~~

🌸Kari🌸| Enhancer | She/Her

Nickname: Hickory, Hikari, Ari.

Perceived Species: Human.

Gender: Female

Perceived Age: 8

Things I Like: making bracelets and necklaces, playing with cats, building stick forts outside, sketching, painting a little, and reality shifting.

Things I Dislike: Being scratched by the cats and doing laundry, still happens though haha

Birthday: December 16th

Role: Enhancer

🌸🌺🏵🌷^^

~~~~~

📚Yuri📚 | Motivator | She/Her

Perceived Species: Human, I suppose so.

Gender: Female.

Perceived Age: 16

Things I Like: Reading, writing poems, reading horror stories, reading thrillers, reading dark romance, and sometimes listening to true crime podcasts.

Things I Dislike: being interrupted while reading is the most annoying trait any human being may have.

Birthday: April 21st

Role: Motivator

~~~~~

🧁Click🧁| Abuse Logger | He/Him

Hello, I'm a factive in the system and am here to log... certain topics. I don't usually front so I won't be on here as much as needed or expected.

Role is Abuse Logger, I'm not going to elaborate on that.👍

~~~~~

💌Saiki💌| System Manager | He/Him

~~~~~

🐆Aphmau🐆| Social Media Protector | She/They

~~~~~

📗Bridget📗| Reader | She/Her

~~~~~

🛏Cimon🛏| Sleeper | He/It

~~~~~

🎓Derek🎓| Low Empathy Holder | He/Him

~~~~~

🧫Jax🧫| Obsession Keeper | He/Him

~~~~~

🦋Fluttershy🦋| Eraser | She/Her

~~~~~

🐬Garroth🐬| Socializer | He/Him

~~~~~

🦭Gomamon🦭| Antidepressant | He/It

~~~~~

🐦Miku🐦| Social Anxiety Holder | She/They

~~~~~

🕸Ina🕸| Reliever | She/Her

~~~~~

🩺Jim🩺| Comforter | He/They

~~~~~

🧨Teto🧨| Anxiety Holder | She/Her

~~~~~

🧿Katelyn🧿| Solitarian | She/Her

~~~~~

🐈Kira🐈| Energy Manager | He/It

~~~~~

🥇Light🥇| Financial Manager | He/Him

~~~~~

🍜Matt🍜| Chef | He/Him

~~~~~

🍨Nana🍨| Social Pleaser | She/Her

~~~~~

🦕Owen🦕| Babysitter | He/Him.

~~~~~

🐝Peter🐝| Messenger Pigeon | He/They

~~~~~

🧭Quinn🧭| Timekeeper | He/Him

~~~~~

🐅Ranger🐅| Anti-Romanticist | He/They

~~~~~

🐚Rayna🐚| Transportation Helper | She/Her

~~~~~

🐉Rex🐉| ADHD Holder | He/Him

~~~~~

🍁Shu🍁| Love Manager | He/Him

~~~~~

⚽️Tai⚽️| Destressor | He/They/It

~~~~~

Taichiro Arima🎮| Masculinity Holder| He/They

~~~~~

🏅Tenya🏅| Femininity Holder | He/Him

~~~~~

🏵Toramon🏵| Admin | He/Him

~~~~~

🦂Uriel🦂| Toxicity Holder | She/Her

~~~~~

🌾Veronica🌾| Threat Detector | She/Her

~~~~~

🍃Wingedmon🍃| Therapeia | He/Him

~~~~~

🐋Xenia🐋| Motivation Holder | She/Her

~~~~~

💎Zack Shalashaska💎| Rationalizer | He/Him

~~~~~

We believe that is all for now, we hope to get along with the rest of the community!

[queerfables]

I was tagged by @asexual-fandom-queen to share my top 10 from my On Repeat Spotify playlist. I thought this would be extremely funny.

10. Runrig - Loch Lomond

I started listening to this song because Noel, when asked why they chose Loch Lomond as a venue, mentioned "some dodgy folk band" (hit Scottish folk rock band Runrig) had played there a few years ago. The live version in particular is a fucking tune.

9. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - She Taught Me How To Fly

'Cause all the roads I run are coming back to you

8. Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out

All the straight up Oasis songs on this list are actually on here through a combination of my own listening and my three year old's. This song wouldn't make my top ten but Kiddo went through a phase of wanting to fall asleep with it on repeat. He knows more of the words than I do and does an extremely funny Liam impression with it.

7. Liam Gallagher - World's In Need

I'm convinced this song was written during a thaw in hostilities with Noel, and that it expresses Liam's hopes for an Oasis reunion. He wrote it without a co-writer, and I think the songs he writes on his own are often his most personal. Also, it references Noel's song, Holy Mountain.

Noel: "If you feel the need, I'll send you godspeed."

Liam: "I need a sign for peace of mind. The world's in need, send godspeed."

6. Chappell Roan - Good Luck, Babe

You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth

Even the songs that aren't about Oasis are still about Oasis.

5. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Lock All The Doors

Look it's a song about longing and forbidden love. Even without the... everything else... it's got going on, this was always going to be one of my favourites.

4. Oasis - Don't Look Back In Anger

While I was making this list, I vetoed the playing of Wheels on the Bus, much to Kiddo's displeasure. After ten minutes of agony he looks at me hopefully and goes "Don't Look Back In Anger?" I didn't even know he knew this one by its title, usually he just calls it Slip Inside after the first line. Anyway that was a request I could get behind.

3. Liam Gallagher - Wall of Glass

I believe the resurrection's on and you were wrong

Liam's "Fuck you, Noel" songs are always a blast.

2. Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - Riverman

When the riverman run, find me the girl who electrifies the storm

1. Oasis - Wonderwall

No okay listen I know this is a hilarious cliche but LET ME TELL YOU how this came to be at the top of my list. A couple of months ago I mentioned that I'd been getting into Oasis to my mum. She was like "Oh yeah, those guys. Noel and Liam? I don't actually know any of their music." I found this very funny but I was like no, listen, you do. So I sung the chorus of Wonderwall and she was like oh yes, I do. And then I looked over at my three year old and he was staring at me with the widest, most enchanted eyes. "Again?" he says. So I sing it again and he goes "Again???" And thus began his love affair with Oasis.

Obviously Noel has told approximately six million conflicting stories of what the song is about, but one of my favourite things he said about it after he and Meg split up was that songs can come to mean different things for you over time, and that right now, for him, the song was about his baby daughter Anaïs. I think he was extremely real for that.