#NOBODY came to help me
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i think i met a real life energy vampire and he was a hipster named rob
#i was volunteering at a booth#and he kept talking to me#and wouldnt stop#for an hour#NOBODY came to help me#wwdits
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I started this post with the intention of asking for fic recs where Bruce gets his kids early, but then I ended up just writing some ficlets
_(:3 」∠)_
I still really just want recs I swear but I wrote these anyway and am incapable of doing more with them so here
☆彡
Dick Grayson is 8 years old when he watches his parents die. Bruce is 24 years old when he sees a young boy’s life fall to pieces. He’s far too young to be a single father. But he sees too much of himself in the child, and he knows in his heart that he won’t be able to walk away from him.
He talks to Alfred about his fears of only furthering Dick’s trauma by failing him as a guardian. It takes some time, but Alfred is able to convince Bruce to find a therapist and take some discreet parenting classes. He’s still Batman, and I don’t think he’s capable of Gentle Parenting™ but he does do better. Plus, Dick is young enough to learn to read Bruce before the teenage hormones kick in so they manage to communicate much more effectively with each other.
☆彡
Bruce meets Catherine Todd by chance because there was a cool park Dick wanted to stop at. She’s trying to deal with her hungry and fussy 3 year old step son, but she’s young and stressed out and hungry herself and she just doesn’t know what to do. Bruce offers to take them out for lunch. He asks Dick to take Jason to the play area in the corner while they talk.
She breaks down and tells him of her struggles with addiction. She does her best to keep Jason fed, but it’s so hard. Feeding him means she goes hungry most of the time because she can’t quit using. Jason wouldn’t survive if she had to go through withdrawals with him.
He’s not even her kid! Not really. Her husband is just an abusive deadbeat so she doesn’t have a choice. She does love him, but she never wanted kids, and she can’t just let a child die when she can do something.
Bruce fills their fridge and cabinets to the brim (he offers to do much more for them but that’s all she will budge on. She has too much pride to accept outright charity, but she will do what she can to keep her kid safe) and he makes it clear to her that he is willing to take care of Jason for however long is necessary when she decides to take the first step to get clean.
Two months later, Willis gets arrested and Catherine shows up at Wayne Manor and tells Bruce she signed up for inpatient, but she thinks it would be best for Jason and for herself if Bruce would be willing to take permanent custody. She stays in Jason’s life, just not as a mother figure.
☆彡
A year or so later, Bruce gifts Alfred with a vacation as an early birthday present. Things have been hectic with the sudden acquisition of two sons, and Alfred has done so much, he deserves a break. Bruce promises he’ll be able to handle two kids on his own.
Turns out, he was mostly right, but only just barely. The kids are fine, the manor not so much. He ends up hiring a few services to help out with general housekeeping. A couple of those workers also happen to be regular hires for the Drakes.
Bruce overhears them talking about how sad it is that those awful people treat their toddler more like a doll than a child. He learns that not only do they leave for long periods at a time while not hiring a proper nanny to watch over their son, just expecting the help to take care of him, but they also lock him away on his own whenever it’s ’not fashionable’ to have a 2 year old around.
Alfred comes back to the manor on August 15th, just in time to celebrate his and Master Jason’s birthdays together. He opens the door and dodged around a very excited 4 year old jumping up and down in the entry hall.
“ALFIE! ALFIE! BOOSE GOT ME A BABY BWOTHER FOR MY BIRFDAY! LOOK! LOOK! HIMS NAME IS TIMMY AND HE’S THE BESTEST!”
Alfred leans over to peak behind the boy, and sees a very quiet, very small child standing behind him.
“Oh, dear.”
☆彡
The day Bruce got the call from Talia telling him she was pregnant with his child was one of the best days of Bruce’s life. The day she called to tell him she miscarried was one of the worst.
The only blessing was that he didn’t need to explain it to his kids. Talia was going to move in once she was in her second trimester, and they planned to reveal her pregnancy together.
He got the call two weeks before her flight out. He begged her to come anyway, he loved her, they could still be a family. She refused.
Six and a half months later, he walks into his bedroom to find Talia standing by the window with a squirming bundle in her arms. With equal measures steel and sorrow in her eyes she tells Bruce she is sorry for what she put him through, but it was the only way to keep their son safe. He gathers them both in his arms and holds them tight as she explains.
Her father had planned to raise an heir to be the Demon Head. He would be kept a secret from Batman until the very end. But when Talia gave the final push to birth their son, he came out quiet. She panicked for a moment until her midwife quietly leaned down to listen to the baby’s breathing and then looked up with a soft smile, she bundled up the small thing and handed Talia her baby. Big beautiful green eyes blinked up at her. The midwife leaned closer to Talia and whispered, “Sadly, your son was stillborn. I’m deeply sorry for your loss, but surely The Great Head of the Demon would be willing to allow you some time away from your duties while you recover.” Talia allowed the woman to cover her beautiful cooing baby gently with soft linen and silk and carry him from the room. Later that night she left her home with her son and boarded the first flight to Gotham.
Tears gather on Bruce’s lashes and he tells her everything will be alright because now they can finally be together as a family. Once more, she refuses. She tells him Damian and his boys are far too precious for her to bring the danger of the league of assassins to their door. Bruce closes his eyes in sorrow, but nods his acceptance. He asks her to at least stay the night together. They fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms with their baby boy safely bundled between them. Talia is gone when he wakes.
☆彡
It’s been one week since Talia left and, while still beyond upset, Bruce feels like he’s starting to have a decent handle on things. He is sitting with his boys at the breakfast table, Dick and Jason to his left, Tim to his right, Damian in his arms, and Alfred across from him. They’re finally able to have a relaxing breakfast. No babies crying, no food fights, no arguing, just the sounds of eating and gentle chatter.
He feels a small hand grab his right sleeve and give a gentle tug.
“Boo?” Tim asks, quietly. Bruce feels his heart warm at his son finally feeling like he can speak up without permission.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Why isn’t Big Sister sitting with us?”
Alfred is the only person in the room other than Tim to not startle at the sudden appearance of a 5 year old girl standing next to Bruce at the dining table. He simply sighs, stands up, and grabs another place setting for her at the table.
#to this day nobody knows how Cass got there#but Tim says she came with baby so they assume she hitched a ride with Talia somehow#notice how I /very discreetly/ made it so Jason knows Catherine isn’t his birth mom?#Bruce communicates with him when he’s older that if he ever wants to find his bio mom he will help him and they can do it together ❤️#No dead robins for me🧍🏼♂️#Sorry Duke but it’s because I love you that I’m allowing you to stay with your parents 🫶#IM SORRY DICK I WROTE YOUR PART BEFORE I HAD ANY REAL CREATIVITY AND NOW ITS ALL DRIED UP#I LOVE U BB BUT UR STUCK WITH TWO SUCKY PARAGRAPHS ✌️#also? I don’t even ship Brutalia. like I’m almost a hater. but they took me over here ig#if I was writing more of this just know that Clark would show up with Jon at some point#batfam#dcu#fanfiction#ficlet#batman#brutalia#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#alfred pennyworth#shut up grandpa#dcu ficlet
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Made a half baked (actually half baked isn't accurate, this is like only the ingredients) bc oc based on this weird word generator I found. I got 'Luciphyllous' which means like light consuming/absorbing i think
So I made a character based on that and this was the first thing I drew. The guy looked stupid and weird to me (affectionate) so i kept drawing them
Anyways I have NO idea what their character is or any details about them ( other than their squad ig ), so I decided that if I don't know the coral peacocks can't either. He's just there ig, nobody knows how or when they got here. All they know is that they have to stop him from trying to eat inedible things, not because it's dangerous but because they lose their visibility/light the moment he tries. (Second pic is the coral peacocks trying to make a character page for him)
That's all i got at the moment (<- has said nothing about personality or name or magic or)
#my art#black clover#black clover oc#help i have no idea what to do with him#they just appeared and nobody knows where he came from#i know i want their magic to be intresting/complex tho..#if any one has ideas please let me know because i sure dont#you know as much about him as me#Lucen black clover
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I have a Goldie Playlist and a few are really good fits, I had to delete a couple that were a little too broadly applicable to gf in general, but I will NOT let go of "bad idea right?" Bu Olivia Rodrigo because I need it to vibe tune to my goldford smut!! I keep wanting to send the Playlist but it's short and I feel like I'm gonna find more perfect songs. Also I wanna use some for suprise animation when I have time..
My fic-writing playlist is meticulously organized by character & theme but i've got an entire section of the playlist that's just "yeah this song doesn't have anything to do with anything, i'm just keeping it in because I need the vibes to fuel my writing.
#(please never call it goldford though 😭)#(that makes it sound like my Bill is such a totally different character from canon Bill that even ship names with him need to be different)#(I reluctantly admit that sometimes calling Bill 'Goldie' can help differentiate when an asker is talking to me about canon vs my fic)#(but even that's uncomfortable as hell. like no one calls the other characters by different names to separate my fic from canon.)#(nobody's saying 'Goldilocks Mabel' to separate her from canon Mabel or anything. it only happens with Bill.)#('Goldie' is like the reverse of a deadname:)#(yeah I came up with the name—OUT OF *NECESSITY* BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS CAN'T CALL BILL 'BILL' IN PUBLIC—)#(but every time a reader calls him that instead of his original REAL name it makes my entire soul cringe.)#(you'll notice i never ever ever call Bill 'Goldie' outside of the fic! There's a reason for that! And it's that his name ISN'T 'Goldie'!)#marsupials of mars#ask#bill goldilocks cipher
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As per Tumblr recommendation, I started Kevin can fuck himself yesterday. I see people comment on how the sitcom part makes it look the way people see an abuser and how the abuse can be disguised. People think he is just a funny guy and the abuse goes unnoticed. I personally see it otherwise, although it's similar.
People know he is an asshole. He spends a whole episode being mean to the new neighbours just because. He meets a dangerous guy at a bar, in public. He is an alcoholic who throws weird parties with lots of other people at home. Patty's boyfriend tells her twice in the 3 or 4 conversations we see that he is an idiot. People know, and people avoid him.
And his bubble know, but they justify it and excuse it. And that's the sitcom. The sitcom is the theater of excuses Allison has (and then other characters too) about his behaviour.
"Can you believe it? We were in our anniversary, such a fun party, we were both super drunk and I don't know how it ended, that I was face down on the floor and the table was broken! Anniversa-rager we call it lol"
"He is such a clumsy guy that just as I was leaving the house, you won't believe that I don't know how he managed to cover me in chilli sauce! What a silly goose!"
"He is so helpless without me, he couldn't find the printer and he called me all day because he needed me to explain to him how to work it. And he worries too! He called the cops because he didn't know where I was, maybe I forgot to tell him".
The conversations with her coworker about husbands help drive this point. That's what mariage is. You find ways to justify it and to avoid certain fights and that's it. We got lucky.
But he did all these things on purpose. And the unreliable narrator of the sitcom makes the joke of it and makes the audience consider that maybe it isn't *that bad*. Allison needs to believe that's what it is, so it is. It really isn't that bad, she thinks, he is just like that.
And we can actually see the worrying things and the threatening parts from minute one. It's only a joke because we have been trained to dismiss it. To justify it and to move on. He isn't doing any heavy lifting here.
In episode 1, just the fact that he ends up standing on the table (when she doesn't want him to even put glasses on without protection) says a lot. But then the table breaks and he fixes it poorly and visibly. It would be bad enough just like this, but I personally think there is more to it. It's just that Allison doesn't want to speak about it or look at it so it is just the table, but it's the switch that turns on for her, the last drop. But she did end face down on her living room, on top of the broken table. It's a very elegant narrative tool where we don't see, but if we wanted to see, it's there.
And the more she notices, the more off-putting the sitcom is. It's still played as a joke, with the laugh track, but she is more aware now, so we can notice too.
We start the series with her turning point, but if the series started a year before that, it would only be happening in her house, as it is her life, her only frame of reference, and it would only be a sitcom because isn't he such a clumsy but caring guy?
#kevin can fuck himself#I have so many thoughts about this series#I have 2 examples of the top of my head of social situations that reflect on this sitcom idea#1 of them when she finally divorced him everyone in the village congratulated her#nobody liked him. he created trouble wherever he went. he had felony charges all over the place.#there was not much anybody could do. His sisters (not hers. HIS) came years before to tell her to divorce him and still#people knew. he didn't charm anybody. he didn't pretend he was the perfect husband#and another one was much less violent but things had to be as he liked them when he liked them where he liked them#I was in that group of friends for 3 months and left because it was boring but also because there was nothing for me to do#he didn't have a job yet his wife had to cook after work for all his friends in the day we all met#a long time friend of his barely came to his dinners and said that he only hang out with him at bars where he could get drunk#because he couldn't stand him while not drunk#so his wife would be isolated from many people because many of the people who used to hang out with him just didn't want to be there#I don't know if she had her own friends#this is just to say: people know and the victim is still isolated because eventually there is nothing people can do#there is no hollywood solution to it#and: the victim is isolated even when there is people to chat with them and help them out#the victim isolates themself. The abuser isolates them on purpose. and the whole situation is very difficult to handle from the outside.
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im a sonic 06 defender but one of the things about that game that i absolutely cannot defend is its handling of blaze . literally one of the coolest sonic characters ever yet they had her do almost nothing of importance other than die at the end to make silver sad . she interacts with nobody other than silver and on the rare occasion she appears in a scene with someone else she just stands there and says nothing while the other character doesnt acknowledge her existence at all . the only thing she really adds other than dying is making everything way more confusing than it needs to be because her being from the future and seemingly not knowing sonic contradicts what we already knew about her. overall it just doesnt seem like they put much thought into her inclusion and i wouldnt be surprised to find out she was a last minute addition. blaze youdidnt deserve this bestie
#blaze not interacting with elise in particular was such a big missed opportunity#anyway i think a lot of the confusion with blaze is fixed by ignoring release order and placing sonic 06 before sonic rush#and saying that in the original timeline blaze was from the future but when it was reset she was sent to the sol dimension#but . im not sure if thats acutally canon or what was intended. i dont think it is#blaze not seeming to know sonic at all in particular is wild to me because like .#they saved the world together a couple games ago#sonic and cream were really important to blaze's character development in sonic rush#and taught her the importance of friendship and letting others help you when you need it#and they didnt even say hi to eachother when tehy saw eachother in sonic 06 ............................... okay ....#i guess it doesnt matter much because the events of 06 were undone by the end and blaze being from the future isnt an idea thats used now#but still#i feel like its likely the stories for sonic rush and sonic 06 were written around the same time#and nobody bothered to fix or put in an explanation for the inconsistencies in her character before the games came out
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sometimes you spend a lot of time trying to forgive yourself for the crime of being alive. you might spend 21 years trying to forgive yourself. "i'm sorry," you cry, "i'm sorry that i was born and i ruined your life." you succeed, somehow. you're forgiven. and then you realize at 22 that none of it was your fault in the first place. and in the place of that sorrow and regret comes anger and hurt. it's easier to blame yourself than to feel the true depth of that kind of pain. aching, stinging, lonely pain, abject pain. you think the reason they didn't take care of you was because you were somehow flawed and unlovable. but they never cared in the first place, not in a way that mattered.
betrayal in the form of neglectful parents leaves a wound that feels like it really will never close. a profound emptiness, a profound misunderstanding of yourself. what should be there just isn't.
#thoughts#i had a nightmare last night about being back at my parents house#i remember the yard in the summer. the bright green when the sun hit the grass. the wetness on the ground from the summer rain.#that yard was my world for years. i could venture no further.#for most of that i never ventured outside at all#i dreamed that it was summer again#and i was young and frightened#and my body was horribly wrong. wasps came and picked at my skin until it wasn't right anymore#i begged for help but nobody listened to me#it'll be a hard day today. i can feel it already.#the kind of day where all i want to do is curl up and cry and wallow and wail. sometimes the weight hits me.#i cry both because of how deep that wound is but also because i know i never have to go back#i was in so much pain for so long. i dont have to be anymore#but i still am. the pain is always there.
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BUT NOBODY CAME…
***
Really feels like I'm shouting into the darkness, looking for commissions so I can get enough money to afford to live. Starting to feel really pointless now.
Been watching The Terror series while making this, snow seemed fitting. This truly is the dark night of my soul.
Please, if you can, I need commissions. Digital, traditional, animated, I'm open to all mediums and fandoms. I have a Ko-Fi open with some options, though I'm willing to create more options for special requests. I will also make a second equal or lesser costing piece for free.
I currently am late with my rent, I need $450 in order to pay it.
Use the link below to get to my Ko-Fi, or DM me here.
#my art#emergency commissions#kofi commission#ko fi support#ko fi link#ko fi commissions#buy me a kofi#ko fi#artist support#artist help#artists on tumblr#signal flare#please help#art commissions#snow#lost in the snow#artist on tumblr#but nobody came
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now im thinking about all the similarities between thirteen and being a dalek.
#ohhh she drives me crazyy#just said this all but#shes not human#like. these scenes show it right#‘i called u here and u came like obedient little pets’ and her helping that dalek in potd#shes not human ok#shes not a time lord tho really either#thats what the timeless arc showed right#shes more. shes worse. shes going to destory everything#nobody understands her she doesn’t understand anyone dhes the reason everything is going yo die#so much of the universe was destroyed and her hands are stained#koschei didnt have to destory gallifrey theta was very capable of doing it herself#shes so destructive#she doesnt realize it#maybe she does#she ignores it#she started to become the very thing she feared#goddd dhe drives me insanee#thirteenth doctor#daleks#doctor who#dw
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Art of @sunshiline-writes 's character Jesse for an @artwhumpersanonymous event!!
Jesse beloved <3 He was super fun to draw 10/10 would draw him again
#might draw him again actually. maybe#he was a LOT of fun#I expirimented with a new method for shading with this one and really like how it came out too#huge thanks to Ev to helped me so much with anatomy#whump#Jesse#honey posts#shh nobody tell but the cowboy hat secretly has another gun inside it#tbh if I could redo 1 thing I'd make the sky blue and bright
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Please BE EXCITED about stuff you like/ want to be excited about 💞 That's what life supposed to be about, finding joy in the smallest things, in the things we enjoy and love. And the people that judge us for having that joy in our hearts lose their own life, because they spend too much time judging someone else's life instead of doing something with their own. FUCK them
this is one of my favorite asks and i love you
#nobody will ever stop me from getting excited about things i like#i just always feel like i'm not allowed to share that excitement with anybody directly because of being made fun of in the past#or like i at least have to tone it down by like 99% and make it very brief#because of fear of rejection so i keep it to myself contained in my own space#sometimes i really wanna talk about my favorite things with somebody but i'm like#'nobody knows or cares about this. what if i send something and they hate it and tell me it's horrible'#(a reaction i've been the most used to. either that or just silence)#and i wouldn't know who would actually be interested or if i would be putting them in a situation#where they're not interested at all but they're too nice to say it and then i feel annoying if i keep talking about it#because now even if it isn't SAID that they hate it i still always feel like people are thinking that behind it all#so like if somebody came at me right now telling me everything i like is horrible#that itself wouldn't really bother me because i could just block and continue life without a second thought about that person specifically#because that's just unnecessary and rude regardless of what it's about and i would assume it's just somebody looking to stir things up#delete/block. not taking it personally and not worth thinking about#but it's the anxiety built up from it happening for so long and so consistently from so many people and some that i used to be close to#that now it feels to me that everybody feels that way even if i know LOGICALLY that it isn't true. the feeling is still there#it's one of the long-term effects that are so hard to get rid of once they're set#this is just another thing about myself to work on for probably my entire life#but russ has been helping me with so much lately it's unbelievable
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70
70- is there anyone you would die for?
hard to say. my brother, maybe? if we were ever in a situation where it was my life or his i think we would both try to die for each other
#ask#chisp#my brother + i are very close#we’re twins right. and we both have been there for each other since before day one#i was part of the reason he learned to speak. we helped each other make friends and stood up for each other as kids#when my anxiety started getting worse he would always help me whenever he could#he still instinctively asks what i want when we go to restaurants so he can order for both of us at the counter#we’re tight yanno? nobody will ever know me like he does and nobody will ever know him like i do#hell he saved my life when i got sick. he made my parents take me to the hospital bc he knew i needed to go#i care about him a lot. so yeah i’d probably die for him if it came to that
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Currently obsessed with the Stressors oneshot so I'm actually gunna turn it into a full story because all of what I want to do in it is too long for a oneshot so yeup
#good lord I'm eepy#send help#next time on Deegs Starts a Fic And Never Fucking Finishes It#top cat#top cat 1961#top cat fanfiction#i feel bad because I feel like I'm clogging up the Top Cat tag with these fanfic update posts/screenshots#but like nobody else fucking posts anyway so like it doesn't even really matter#CAN YOU TELL I'M EEPY#also I'm obsessed with this new organizational template i came up with to get the general idea of what I want to happen#in the beginning middle and end of chapters/stories it really helps me get a fucking clue and then all I have to do#is string events together#I'M GOING TO SLEEP NOW A MIMIR BUONA NOTTE GOODNIGHT
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Most of my sinus infection has cleared up besides the occasional cough and irritated throat but now this ear infection.... everything hurts can I please have a break before I have to go back to work just a day without pain so I can clean up my sicknest without feeling like ass
#i live with my parents but my mom is having a horrible flair up of RA so she's bedbound and can't help me at all and dad is the only one#the only one working atm so he's not doing anything besides that#its just a little frustrating because whenever mom is sick from her flare ups or if dad gets the sniffles im like#I'm like what can i do for you are you comfortable do you need anything can i make you food let me clean up etc#but when i go down for 3 days of being visibly miserable everything i ask is the world#ask dad to pick up my perscription but god forbid i ask him to do any other task on the way home that involves making 2 SEPARATE LOCATIONS#ita fine hes just. idk#plus mom has her RA flare up and idk#it just feels like nobody in this house is particularly sympathetic when im feeling miserable but im ALWAYS sympathetic when they are#the first 2 days i was doing nothing but sleeping or rolling in pain in my room and no one came to check in on me to see how i was doing#then yesterday my mom says shes taking us both into urgent care but leaves without me in the morning when i was too sick to wake up when she#called for me.#she was like I just really was in so much pain and you didnt get up and i wanted to go asap and i called you#anyway so because i was so sick i couldnt wake up i had to drive myself to urgent care which is also fine im a big boy#anyway. circumstances or whatever. im also real salty bc ive felt like shit for like 4 days
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Sometimes I think it's worth pointing out that ATLA originally came out when the US was fighting a war.
And tbh it wasn't just any war, it was an unjust war that came with this wild cultlike hypernationalistic brainwashing "Patriotism" that was frankly terrifying but so easy to get swept away in.
And as a kid to learn about morality through this kids' show and be like "haha wait the fire nation is the bad guys, but that's the same stuff we do!" was a very eye-opening experience i'm incredibly grateful for
#i could write an entire thesis on the relationship between media and the war on terror#and how young kids were affected a SHIT TON by 9/11 and everything that came after#like i think i mentioned before that i saw 9/11 happen live and NOBODY ever talked to me about it to help me process it#and i was a 7 year old autistic kid left to draw my own conclusions#and then when america started invading iraq and bombing baghdad#we watched THAT live on tv in my classroom#and honestly the whole situation was just so sick yeah dont get me started#but anyway i think its WILD that people even nowadays can watch these fictional empires like avatar and star wars and whatever#and ARENT immediately like 'hey thats kind of familiar'#ugh yeah anyway#atla#text
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deleted grindr bc everyone sucks & also the app itself sucks like a) the adverts b) the bugs like the cutting off of bios d) the ui is also shit c) the paywalling of prev free tools/filters like what’s the point 😭😭
#stream#nobody meets nobody can be FOUND bc the app is so scuffed#it’s just sad#the bots too but they’re not that bad i guess#like they’re definitely not as bad as they WERE but also it’s not like they HELP matters anyway#the fact that u also can’t like report spam i think they took that away for a little while idk if it’s back lol#like i just use scruff & im pretty close to deleting tinder again - i may get back on growlr#like i think ill have tinder for a week or 2 but literally its just a game to me like also its WORSE THAN GRINDR TO BE FAIR 😭😭😭😭😭😭#in terms of the users i hate everyone but also i love using it its a fun game swipe swipe swipe swipe idk thats the whole point it was#revolutionary when it came out but it’s trash again#i may start going to gay bars but i think im going to trick the boos into going to like the eagle at some point lmfao#like let’s go …. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s just a bar yall look it’s called the eagle it’s so cool & masc it’s totally not a gay bar#i hope there are no pride flags outside of it 😭😭😭#i’ll just say ‘a lot of bars have those outside for pride month … it’s a bar not a pub …’
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