#NO UNION JACKS UGH

[patrice-bergerons]

I was reading about the Fighting Temeraire on the National Gallery's website today and the sheer applicability of the below to Bond at the start of Skyfall took me out:

When exhibited at the Royal Academy in 1839, the painting was accompanied by lines Turner had adapted from Thomas Campbell’s poem, Ye Mariners of England: ‘The flag which braved the battle and the breeze, / No longer owns her.’

Because that's exactly it when M orders the shot, isn't it? A disowning, which is close to a betrayal but not exactly that - everyone knows after all that the Navy will discard a ship that has served its use and she will take her last voyage without the flag of the nation she served all her life flying proud on her mast.

But for Bond, the abandonment and the rejection are there just as sharply still, not only at the hands of England but equally of M's, and when he least expects it, too.

It was @aniron48 who put it the best in all the flags we've hung i think when she said "one person can feel like an entire country, sometimes" and-

“I wondered, after, if maybe she felt that way, too. If when she gave the order to take the shot, she wasn’t just Mansfield. If she felt like she was doing it as England."

[gloomwitchwrites]

There was this tiktok trend where kids and their mums would pull a prank on their dads by telling their mums to shut up...141 with a teenage son who tries it?

Anon, I am very aware of this prank. If mom is in on it, I consider it all in good fun, but omg, these guys would be absolutely stressed if they heard their teenage son tell mom to "shut up." Heads would absolutely roll over that!

Price is certainly old enough to have a teenage son on the older side. I would even say the same for Ghost. Gaz is old enough for a younger teenage son. With Soap's age...that's stretching it. BUT SUSPEND DISBELIEF Y'ALL. I'm aging Gaz and Soap up a bit for this one.

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Presented in two double drabbles and two triple drabbles.

Task Force 141 x Female Reader (w/ children)

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, pranks, domestic, dad!141, brief suggestive themes, marriage

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

“Ugh. Shut up, Mum.”

There is a brief pause between mum and when the television remote hurtles across the room. Your son doesn’t duck in time, the hard plastic hitting his shoulder before bouncing onto the kitchen island with a loud clack.

Before your son turns, Kyle’s baseball cap with the Union Jack, soars through the air like a frisbee. This one your son manages to avoid, but it’s quickly followed by a slipper. It flies past his head, and you catch it out of the air before it makes contact with the front of the microwave.

You and your eldest son turn in Kyle’s direction as he manifests in the kitchen entryway, the other slipper in hand, poised to launch it at the first sign of any movement.

“Wanna repeat yourself, mate?” Kyle appears calm and poised, but you notice the subtle tension in his jaw.

“It was a joke, Dad! Promise!”

Kyle’s arm holding the slipper starts to rise.

“Kyle,” you say. His gaze flicks to you. “Just a joke. No harm. I was in on it.”

His shoulders immediately sag. Kyle shakes his head. Rolls his eyes. Heading for the fridge, he opens it up, grabbing a can of his favorite beer.

Kyle sets the beer down on the island, pointing the slipper at you and then his son. His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again. No words come out, just an exasperated huff.

Kyle snatches up the television remote and sticks it into the pocket of his grey sweatpants. Keeping hold of the shoe in one hand, and his beer in the other, he gives the two of you his back, heading into the living room.

“No one bother me until the game is over,” he says over his shoulder. “And someone bring me my bloody slipper!”

John Price

"Fucking hell, Mum. Shut it."

John is up and out of his seat so fast you hardly see him move. He strides over to his son, yanking him off the stool by the scruff of his shirt.

"John! It's a prank!" you say quickly, reaching for his arm.

The boy is dangling in the air, toes just shy of touching the ground. "A prank?" asks John skeptically.

"Mum is in on it. Promise."

John sighs heavily and slowly lowers his son to the ground. The moment his feet touch ground, he tries to step away, but John holds firm, keeping his eldest child immobile. He leans forward a bit. Lowers his voice.

"Prank or no, you never talk to your mother, your sisters, or any woman in that manner again. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy." John releases his son. "The lawn needs trimmed."

"Yes, sir."

Your son scurries away. It isn't until the door to the garage opens and shuts that John moves toward you. His arm drapes over your waist, hand landing firmly on your ass, squeezing hard.

"You're coming with me."

"To do what?"

He presses his lips to your ear. "For a different sort of punishment."

John "Soap" MacTavish

"You’re off your head, lad.”

With Johnny’s cold tone comes a tension to your son’s shoulders. He becomes rigid, sliding down into his chair like he can escape from his father by cowering underneath the table. Johnny comes around the corner, a bit of sweat on his brow. He's been building furniture all day for the nursery.

"Want to repeat that for me?" asks Johnny.

Your son’s voice cracks. "It was just a prank, Dad."

"It was what?" Johnny strides forward.

"It's a prank. I'm in on it. Promise," you say, attempting to soothe Johnny’s anger.

Johnny crosses his arms over your chest. "Is it?" He glances between the two of you and sighs, muttering, “Am pure done in.”

He disappears down the hall, returning with a stack of instructional manuals, dropping them into his son’s lap. "You're building furniture."

"But I—"

“You right scunner. C’mon.” Johnny yanks his son out of the chair, the stack of instructional manuals goes flying. Your son reaches for them all, desperately clasping them against his chest.

“Johnny," you call out, walking around the counter to intervene.

He glances over his shoulder, frown gown, sly smirk on his face. “Deal with you later."

Simon "Ghost" Riley

“Oi, Mum. Shut it.”

Your son is a wonderful actor. You’ll give him that. Even you almost believe him. Not that he would—he’d never—but his delivery reminds you of a completely pissed football fan ready to throw a punch at a member of the rival team.

He should consider theater.

Simon, your husband, is watching a rugby match in the living room. The television is on but at a low volume.

Within seconds of the words leaving your son’s mouth, Simon appears like a phantom guardian in the entryway. In one he holds the remote like a weapon. The other arm cradles his infant daughter. She looks like a small bean. Slightly curved as she snuggles closer against Simon’s chest as she sleeps.

He's not looking at you. He's staring at his son, gaze intense and full of fire.

You’ve seen that look before.

Mission abort.

"He's joking, Simon. It's just a prank,” you soothe, knowing you need to get ahead of this.

Not that Simon would hurt you or his son, but he rarely takes any shit. This prank was a gamble, and you’re completely regretting it.

"Don't mean it, Dad."

Simon just stares for a long minute. His daughter squirms and that is when he glances down, severing the connection. Observing her must change something in him, because his gaze returns to the two of you, and there is a calmness now.

Sighing heavily, Simon shakes his head, completely exasperated. The eye roll is so apparent it’s like a shout.

In the moment he was pissed—livid. But now he’s over it, more annoyed and unamused than actually mad.

Turning on his heel, daughter still cradled in one arm, Simon returns to his recliner, settling back into the soft cushions to finish watching his rugby match.

taglist:

@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath

@tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus @beebeechaos

@no-oneelsebutnsu @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41

@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat

@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim

@voids-universe @iloveslasher @talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307

@itsberrydreemurstuff @spicyspicyliving @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep

@blackhawkfanatic @sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie

@kadeeesworld @umno-yeah @daemondoll @jackrabbitem @lxblm

@arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @ash-tarte @spookyscaryspoon @enarien

[if-chaos-was-a-boy]

ALL MY RP BUDDIES, FUCK YALL (affectionately)

(oso my Ooc name is Eden-)

I have no idea why I’m feeling emotional but fuck yall

I was scared of half of yall and so fucking anxious when starting to roleplay, uhhhh yall may not feel the same (TOTALLY VALID YALL ARE ENTITLED TO UR OPINIONS ALWAYS) but im really grateful for being able to meet all of you.

I PROMISE IM NOT DYING IM JUST UGH FUCK U

@that-girl-cupid

@demigod-jack-hearth

@unhinged-waterlilly

@love-lightning-forethought

@iceweavercatlover / @debacleofdaemons

@chaos-pers0nified

@stephen-the-spider

@bambi-the-dummy

@emdabitchass

@i-was-never-sane

@athenas-weirdo-daughter

@divine-wine-daughter

@kaiaalwayswins

@smileyalater

@daonedaonlyskh

@kiaradaughterofselene

@pink-koi-lovejoy

@itsyourboyezra

@hispanic-child-of-hermes

@mireya-the-awkward-extrovert

@gellyhelio

@ariathemortal

@arisdaughter

@syd-the-nerd

@steve-the-union-man

[whoops-im-obsessed]

(More) Things I Noticed in UKsies: Fansie Night Edition (Act 2)

First one got too long so here is act 2!!

At Jacobi's Albert says 'why do old people talk?' Directly to Jacobi who waves him off

'Jack don't run from no fight!' '*in the highest, squeakiest voice imaginable to mock Les* Take it down short stop!!'

Katherine dances on the tables with the boys in KoNY and I'm not sure if Bronté does but Bobbie does the nerve tap!

Cup song time

Katherine and Les have such cute little interactions

Nyoom tables!!

They don't shy away from showing what they do to keep themselves safe, when the newsies grab the lamps, you can see them clip themselves on but it only serves to make you go 'something is about to go down!!'

The newsies on the ground dance around the tables and tap metal plates to the table newsies' feet

Ascension with frantic spinning, incredible

In a bit of a stark contrast, letter from the refuge is a really poignant moment

Crutchie breaks the forth wall and speaks directly to the audience, including them in his thought process

A cop watches the whole thing from the scaffolding

Crutchie is left handed

Crutchie actually starts crying at 'I'll be fine' and hearing that emotion in his voice contrasted with his trying to be optimistic - ugh, have I mentioned that I love Matthew Duckett?

Crutchie gets up and passes on his letter to Specs before being slowly helped off stage by a refuge newsie, still struggling when the next scene begins. When he got up he winced so hard someone next to me whispered 'ooh that was real'

Jack was Properly Angry in Watch What Happens reprise and his fear for Crutchie shone through

Ryan!Davey may be the king of eye-rolls but Alex!Davey is the king of raising his eyebrows in incredulation, especially to Les

'Lighten up no-one died' is said a lot subtler, like he knows how bad that sounds but doesn't know how to confront it

'HECANTTAWLKHELLCALLYABACK'

The mayor actually shows some sympathy towards the newsies but in the end doesn't act due to Synder and Pulitzer's influence

Fun fact: Jamie Golding (Wiesel/mayor/theatre worker/police/etc) has NINE costume changes during the show, he is so many people

Pulitzer grabs Katherine as she's trying to walk away at 'you can't have mine'

George Crawford (Morris Delancey) has an amazing evil laugh which he uses a lot during the show

As the printing press is being brought out, the Delancey brothers bring Jack behind the scaffolding. Although this can't be seen by most of the audience they continue to intimidate him and get really up in his space

Shout out to Zack Guest super swing who played Oscar!!

Brooklyn newsies met with the Most applause they are so cool

Brooklyn's here is broken up with a little roll call which makes the 'now them soakers' hit harder

Spot has a slight lisp

'If we disband the union..' *outrage* 'this is your union!!'

The newsies all call Jack out in various ways when they see him take the money, Spot has to be physically held back from beating him up

Something to Believe in is a little different, the Jatherine is believable but isn't really focused on much in the show, it almost feels like an afterthought. The line 'what was ours still will be' really resonates, it feels more like they had a little whirlwind mutual attraction but both think it'll end with the strike

Universal 'oooohh!!' From the audience when they kiss

Lighting for once and for all is so pretty, they have lanterns and there's a sort of orange mottled pattern like the reflection of the lamps projected across the entire theatre

Once and For All really lets the vocals shine, it isn't as high energy as the other numbers and the scaffolding doesn't move like it does in livesies, instead a giant newsies banner falls from the ceiling that they parade around the stage. The choreo isn't missed at all, the sheer wall of sound is incredible

The newsies line the theatre as Jack talks to Pulitzer and smack their fists either into their hands of onto the railings in time with the music as they hum

'The boy, Jack Kelly is here :)))'

Spot makes the 'I'm watching you' gesture at Pulitzer

As the other characters leave Jack to talk to Pulitzer, Hannah loudly says 'I love your show!!' To Medda

So many hugs when they win

Crutchie coming in with his little police hat, greeted with the biggest hug from Race and the boys

The reaction to Crutchie calling Roosevelt 'your highness'

Crutchie & Les reunion 🥺

And perfect finale and curtain call!!

The post finale choreo is incredible and was met with applause right up to the final bows

Crutchie is up on the scaffolding for much of the choreo and makes his way down for the bows. He slid down the stair rails in the same way you would slide down a ladder. Then he kept sliding. And kept sliding. And then his leg got caught. And then he kept sliding. Basically, he ended up on the floor tangled in the stairs and had to call a couple of people to help him out of the mess he got into 😅

And that was that! Post-show Q&A was pretty short but really lovely, there were mostly questions about the audition process, advice, favourite bit of the show, etc but it was really sweet how they all cared to stay and so many people did! Plus there were mega shout outs to dance captain Alex Christian who plays Butttons and is a legend!!

Honestly this show means so much to me and to be able to see it with such an enthusiastic cast and audience was incredible, see it if you can because it is in a league of its own.

[wosona]

I've never watched the Olympics before and now I'm addicted 😭

the swimming has me hooked fr

okay how have you never watched the olympics before it’s like the greatest 2 weeks every 4 years

it’s unbeatable and i’ve been a fan my whole life, 2012 olympics was peak humanity, that opening ceremony killed little me off. i went to the athletics and the horse riding i think, waking up at 5am to put union jack tattoos on my cheeks. ugh sorry now i’m rambling and nostalgic

[thoselethalarts]

𝓝𝔂𝔁 𝓝𝓸𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮 - 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂

(SSR) Birthday Union Jacket (Part 2): “Happy Birthday!”

(Scarabia Dorm: Birthday Party Venue)

Lee: Alright, let’s get the interview on and over with already.

Nyx: Sounds good to me! I’m dying to get some birthday grub in me.

Lee: Alright, so, first question- “if you could take one person with you to a deserted island, who would you take?” Lee: Also, they specifically said you can’t pick anyone from your own dorm. Them’s the rules.

Nyx: A deserted island, huh…? Well I guess I’d-

Lee: Actually, one more rule. You can’t pick Jade or Floyd.

Nyx: Wha-!? How’d you-?!

Lee: Oh c’mon, I know you. Of course your default answer would be to pick one of your boyfriends, that’s too easy. Pick someone else to spice it up.

Nyx: Ugh, now you just made this like 20 times harder than it needs to be…

Lee: I know~

Nyx: Uhhhhh… Damn, well now I dunno. Nyx: My gut’s telling me to maybe pick Rook, since he’s got that “hunter’s instinct” and all. But I’d rather chew my own foot off than be stuck with him all alone on a deserted island.

Lee: Yeah, that’s fair. That guy gives me the creeps, too.

Nyx: Who else... I mean Ruggie is also a top pick. He's got a lot of personal experience with survival situations. Though, I doubt he'd want to share most of what he finds... he'd probably make me work for it. Nyx: Jack I think would be more reliable, but he's also very "earn what you're worth" oriented, so he'd make me work for for my share too. Leona's the same way, just harder to get to do things in the first place. Nyx: Whoever they are, they'd need to be tough, reliable, and willing to share with me regardless of what I do.

Lee: So you just wanna be with someone that'll let you be lazy is what I'm hearing.

Nyx: ...You didn't have to put it like that. I'm just not that physical of a person, so I know I won't be able to do much when it comes to catching sources of protein, that's all.

Lee: Uh huh, sure, whatever you say.

Nyx: Hm... Oh, ya know what, I changed my mind. I think I’ll pick Stahli!

Lee: Interesting choice. Why him?

Nyx: Well, he’s always going on about how he’s good at cooking from whatever ingredients, and how he’s good at growing stuff cuz his parents own an Apothecary or whatever. Nyx: As far as getting food is concerned, knowing someone that can actually grow stuff over long term is probably a good bet. Nyx: Plus, who knows, maybe his whole link to ghosts and the Other Side would find us a different way to make it off the island. Stepping through dimensions onto a boat or something, I dunno.

Lee: Huh, I never woulda thought about that. I dunno how the Other Side works, but it sounds possible. Good answer~

/ To Be Continued…

[like-likes]

This is Dad's Farm. I'm inheriting it.

It is still going to cost us $200k, sort of. We are buying it from my two brothers. If we had sold it like we all originally considered, we would have split the profit three ways. Yet, after all the fees involved in selling (do i really have to list them? There is a lot.), getting $100k each after all that would be wonderfully and incredibly ideal, so hub's and I factored that into this investment and we're happy to give them them each their most ideal fair share.

Fortunately, we have a home to sell (a small one floor ranch in a city suburb) and now is still a really great time to sell so it's definitely time. Our goal is to get our city home on the market before memorial day. In the meantime, we are free to move our stuff in while we clean it up.

There is a very large stone pit which was once part of a barn's foundation long ago. Ever since I first lived here back in 2002 we've always used this space as a bonfire pit for peace and parties.

Before pictures are good to have. You didn't want to see the before/before we cleaned out the clutter, did you? That was last year. I have all these awful colors and unfinished projects and the overall conditions of the house burned into my memory... Dad never did much updating. Funniest part about that detail is that he worked professionally as a finished carpenter in the Boston union.

Here's some junk on the second floor:

oh, and back to the kitchen. I decided to take off the cabinet doors on the top. They are ugly, don't open well or don't close well depending on the season so fuck these cabinet doors!

Ugh blurry video screen shots. Trust me, it looks better. We have a large pantry elsewhere for food in ugly packages. Only plates, cups, etc... clear bins of foods (like rice or pasta) in this kitchen on these shelves. The new colors I'm working around kinda go like this:

We are all so excited! Our kids (adult kids, 20 & 25), are both super excited, even after seeing all the work involved. One of them wants a dog, the other wants a cat... and as long as they can pay for their needs, as soon as we are settled in - I don't mind. We need a cat anyway for mice. We already have a dog, but my baby is getting up in the years so she's gonna have to keep to the first floor. But oh, ok wait - now we're also talking about goats to help with our landscaping and chickens because why not? Yeah maybe probably... one animal at a time! ok?

Wanna see some of the leftover junk and repairs involved? Here's some. I don't think I mentioned from the first picture we're working on getting a quote from a company that literally jacks up a side of your house to repair a corner post (currently incased in a green tarp, thanks, dad).

Thanks for checking out our happy little project. ;)

I hope no one minds if I tag it stardew valley since it certainly feels like the real life beginnings of one and I wanna keep that vibe going as we all settle in here. :) My daughter was asking about growing vegetables! This girl's personality is comparable to a Hailey. My son is more of a Sebastian. My Hubs? He's a Gus. What am I? A mix of Leah and Robin, I think. :)

[kellyscowboy]

Consider!!!! Queens being hella pissed after jack takes all that money and tells them to disband the union after literally begging for their help and they ain't gonna let the deed go unpunished so they find some of the Manhattan newsies to soak to send a message to jack that actions have consequences

stop it rn omgomg. i'm thinking dave finds him up in his "penthouse" before kath does and it goes a little bit like this:

cw: cussing & fighting

"What the hell's the matter with you?" David shouted, shoving a finger into Jack's chest.

Jack angrily shoved the other boy away. "Go away, Dave."

"No. You don't get to run away. You don't get to screw us all, take your money, and get your dumbass happy Santa Fe ending."

"You think I'm gla-"

"Shut up!" David all but screamed. "Do you know what happened tonight? Right after you left with your stupid fucking money; Queens beat the crap out of us!"

Jack went quiet, the weight of his actions drowning him. David didn't stop. "You can't just do that, Jack. No, not to Queens. And I can assure you, they made that pretty damn clear. You can't beg a turf to go out of their way, to lose their money, to help you and then just bail on them."

Dave chokes on his words, and Jack wouldn't have thought he had cared about them that much. "You know how I found 'em?" He doesn't wait for a response. "They were sitting in an alley, just a clump of practically lifeless bodies. You would've thought that a morgue had come and dumped some unclaimed corpses right there in the middle of that alley. Racetrack didn't move, not even when I tried to get him up. Honest to God, Jack, I thought he was dead."

"And Elmer was sitting there, and you know what he was doing? He was clinging to his rosary and he was pleading with God. Now, I don't know Elmer as well as you do, but I do know that he doesn't have the greatest relationship with the church. You know how desperate you have to be to plead with a God who hurt you?"

"You're not gonna believe this, but that's not even the worst part. The beatings aren't even close to the worst part. What's worst is that all of them are blaming themselves. And all of them are sitting in the lodging house waiting for you to walk in and fix their wounds, because that's what you've always done. The worst part is that they're all defending you with every broken bone in their body. And that's awful because it's all your fucking fault, Jack!"

Jack fell into David's arms. And David doesn't shove him away, he takes him into his arms and begs him to fix things. Because David isn't mad either, he wants to be mad but he can't be mad because he's making excuses for Jack too. All Jack can do, for at least a couple of minutes, is sob into Jack's shoulder.

-

SO SORRY FOR STEALING THE ASK LIKE THAT LMAO. honestly the idea ignited something in me bc oh my god like the angst?? i can't!! also imagining any of the boys telling him. racetrack telling him, all beaten up and sore. ugh im dead

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Today's episode of Mando made me ridiculously happy 😆

Not gonna post a long thoughts thing because it's 11pm, so here are some quick ones!

The planet looked cool as anything!

Ugh, droids just make me happy. 😁

JACK BLACK?!

Also, I got so distracted by Jack Black that it took me a second to realise that LIZZO WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM???

And Christopher Lloyd finally made his appearance!!!

Anyone else wanna punch the screen when the Techno Union are mentioned? 😒

GROGU IS A KNIGHT NOW???

Haha Din finally getting rid of the Darksaber he didn't want. 🤣 [edit: me finding this kinda funny in the moment has now passed and turned into ehhh??? What's that about???]

I am gonna miss him with it, though. 😕

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Two: Franklin 

Franklin reminisces specifically about dividing his men up and abandoning them on his previous failed expedition - “Franklin had dazedly divided his troop into three groups and left the other two bands to survive or die on their own.” 

Another horrendous passage sees him comfort himself with the thought that technically, only one Englishmen died - “Only one real white man” - because clearly any other kind isn’t real to him. Ugh. 

There’s an interesting little titbit about Franklin not being the first choice in his personal life too - he reads Lady Jane’s old diaries and finds her mourning on the day a previous suitor of hers marries. 

Also some absolute top-notch hubris and foreshadowing and general dumbassery - “Out of his own pocket he’d provided enough supplies to feed the sixteen men for one day. Franklin had assumed the Indians would then hunt for them and feed them adequately, just as the guides carried his bags and paddled his birch-bark canoe.”

Franklin likes his beef “rare enough to bleed at the touch of the carving knife”. Funny, that. 

And last but not least, there are two other quite gender-specific references relating to death and doom that I find quite interesting. 

The chapter closes with that famous story of Lady Jane draping the Union Jack over Franklin as he sleeps only for him to awaken horrified at the implications of it. 

He also compares the Arctic Council to Macbeth’s witches at one point - controlling fate, portending doom, but most interestingly to me, specifically female. 

[safyresky]

Okay so, Shoes off the Bed Clause. I think this is my fave episode so far???? I just.

AND A MYSTERIOUS FIGURE??? I BET IT'S EITHER PAST SANTAS OR BERNARD. PROBABLY BOTH. AHH! I'll stick thoughts under cut bc spoilers.

ok so FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE FUCK SIMON???????

I figured he'd go corporate (I GOTTA have a bingo by now) but WOW SEEING IT? AWFUL! IS THIS WAS FROSTMAS FELT LIKE? BECAUSE WOW. SIMON IS SOMEHOW WORSE THAN SANTA JACK, I SHIT YOU NOT. The Union comment? Him not caring about the concerns Betty or any of the elves had? Two elves EXPLODE IN FRONT OF HIM and he goes "this is fine and totally normal!" WHAT THE FUCK, SIMON! WHAT THE FUCK.

This man is my villain origin story, bout to go torch the north pole mySELF frfr. god DAMN.

Second of all, BEFANA!

I love that Betty went to see her, I LOVE that the jacket was there, also LOVE THAT BEFANA IS GOING TO CONTACT BERNARD 100% THAT'S THE HIM. CALLING IT NOW. And I think B-Man deserves a tolling bell as his calling card tbh, mans puts up with a LOT of shit.

AND HORSE GIRL SANDRA?

I like that we're seeing more of Sandra's abilities. Still feel like they're not being done in a decent way given everything else going down? We have 0 explanation about why she can speak to animoos and they don't seem to be delving into the why more which is upsetti spagetti here at SafyreSky Industries. The POTENTIAL! AH!

Buddy and Noel SHINE, of course

AND CAROL! CAROL IS OUT HERE GIRLBOSSING AND WE LOVE IT FOR HER

I am so happy she is right back in it, that's. I'm. Very good for her!! I'm NOT a fan of her being so like. SCORNED by the Mrs Claus thing? And that being a point she keeps bringing up? Like I see why, I get it, BUT STILL. And I am very much of the opinion that she could just. She could just fucking. She could be GIRLBOSSING withOUT the reason being "29 plus years as Mrs Claus has made her. Well. Like that". STILL REFUSE TO BELIEVE SHE DID NOT SEND HER KIDS TO SCHOOL OR SCHOOL THEM HERSELF BUT YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. GUESS I'LL DIE ON THIS HILL, TOO. (the previous hills being THERE SHOULD'VE BEEN TWO TIMMIES IN THE MAIN SQUARE IN TSC3 and JACK FROST THAWED AND ISN'T A VILLAIN ANYMORE)

ugh. anyway, I think Ana and I are about to start our rewatch? I'm sure more thoughts will come your way from SafyreSky Industries tonight because holy lordy smokies im. wOW

[dengswei]

my mum is drunk and has the tv obnoxiously loud that i can hear it from upstairs

[yakumtsaki]

We’re backoix but without Wyatt for the first time since 2017💔 Jojo is fucking devastated and goes on an autonomous home maintenance spree but keeps stopping to cry:

-OH WYATT, HE LOVED TO SLEEP IN THIS BED

-OH WYATT, HE LOVED TO SNOOZE ON THE LAWN

Ugh my poor Jojo, I know what will cheer you up, why don’t we go wait for the wolf? 

-OH WYATT, HE LOVED TO NAP IN THIS TENT

-Hey Shaj. -Hi grandma, how are you? -I’m sharing the mausoleum with Wyatt now, so not great. What’s going on here? -Literally nothing, even Cyneswith hasn’t had a new lover for like a week.

-Who needs lovers when I have my Dobrie?💗 

I can’t stress enough how ridic this relationship is, Dobronega hates absolutely everyone including her own kittens. The fuck, Cyn, are you using the voodoo doll on the pets now?

-Of course not, I’d never override an animals free will!🌸

Right, what are they, men who refuse to immediately fall in love with you? 

-Exactly!💗

Time for our mandatory ‘a new day starts’ ritual.

-Ok everyone, let’s knock this one out cause I have to get ready for work. Cyn how could you?? -Oh Donnie I’m so sorry!🌸 -𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙾𝙽𝙴, 𝙶𝚄𝚈𝚂, 𝚂𝙴𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙾𝙼𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙾𝚆.

The kitts grew up! This is Scorpion, under him is Ermac, on the right is Mileena, and under her Kitana, who is the chonkiest one and thus the automatic heir! I’m gonna send the other 3 to live with Angel and Wulf while Sophie is at work because she throws Komei-tier tantrums whenever a pet leaves.

So Sandy is a romance sim, which I keep forgetting, and is like 1 second away from aspiration failure, so it’s time for a blind date. I spend the max amount and we get GILBERT JACQUET?? LMAO. Do you guys feel like he’s open-minded enough to date a zomb? They have 3 bolts tho, his turn-ons are black hair/green eyes so I guess that was enough to overcome the rotting part?? 

This is going great?? Honestly wtf. Gilbert tell me the truth, does she remind you of your mother?

What’s up Sophito, how was school?

-What the hell is this?! 

I’m sure you already know what it is since you went out of your way to cockblock, but this is Sandy on a date. 

-Well stop it, I don’t like it! 

Ya despite what Sophie has told you, the world doesn’t revolve around Sophito Union’s wishes.

-My world does!

Guess who got fired on his second day!

-𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚁; 𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴. -WAAAAAH 

-OH, WYATT, OH CRUEL FATE

-FUCK YOU AND YOUR ONE CHANCE AT HAPPINESS, SANDY

Ya ok I’ve had enough of this house-

-let’s gtfo, Cyn! It’s hoeing time. 

-When isn’t it!💗

Huhu!🌸

-Huhu!💗

Man this place is DEAD. Where tf is everyone?

-They’re on the terrace, dumbass.

Ok that’s a lot of lip from you, bandana-bowtie. To the terrace! 

OMG IT’S CORNROW DOWNTOWNIE. The top townies I wanna marry in genetics-wise is this guy and Hot Downtownie that Shaj brought from work the other day. I zoom out all happy to have Cyn go talk to him and what do I see??

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, JACK DO

-OVER MY DEAD BODY IS CYNESWITH CHEATING ON ME IN THIS RESTAURANT WHERE MY OPPRESSIVE MOTHER IS THE MAITRE D’!!!

OH FFS

We relocate to this weird hot tub club where thankfully none of our existing lovers are. 

-Oooh, Neon Vest Downtownie is hot!💗   -Fuck me, here comes the voodoo doll. 

-SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND, VESTIE!!!🌸

Hehehe, ok Cyn let’s knock this one out on location because we’ve really fallen behind!

-Ya so I’ve been increasingly concerned about nuclear weapons- 

-WILL YOU TWO GET A ROOM FOR YOUR POLITICAL DISCUSSION? WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE PUBLIC SEX HERE

Kaching!!! Man that was quick, thank you, Neon Vest Downtownie!

You don’t walk from the table when you’re on a roll, so we move on to this guy, who I thought was Komei’s old enemy Shea Johnston, but is actually a ginger version of him.  

-Didn’t you use to steal my grandpa’s garden gnome?💗 -Oh no, that was my evil twin brother! I’m the nice one!   -Aww, we have so much in common, I’m the nice one with an meanie sister too!🌸

-Now let me just channel the ancient evil of voodoo to manipulate your consciousness!💗

-Oh, Ginger Shea Johnston, let’s take this upstairs to the hot tub, it’s more public!🌸

Bro I love Cyn so fucking much, on her way upstairs to the hot tubs with GSJ she stops to flirt with the Count, LOL

-Hiiii, didn’t you use to sleep with my grandma?💗 -I sure did! -Seems like a good family tradition, huhu!🌸

-Oh Cyneswith, today is the best day of my life! -It better be, my daddy worked really hard for that voodoo doll!💗

Never stood a chance, against us, GSJ!

-Hey girl, if you ever get tired of these warm meatbags you know where to find me!🧛

Ya Count, we actually DON’T know where to find you, that was also our big problem when Victoria wanted to bang you.  

-Oh, I live in the animal sanctuary! Bat section.🧛 

You don’t have an ancestral castle on top of a misty hill? What kind of flop vampire even are you??

-You know what the rent for ancestral castles is these days??🧛

Good Lord, get out of here Count Bumula, you’re ruining our night. Time to return home, Cyn, great job! 

I was hoping Sophito would outgrow this Sandy bullshit on his own but clearly I have my work cut out for me.

-Look Sandy, another A+++! Much better than some stupid momma’s boy baker, right??

You of all people wanna talk about mommy issues, really? Go do your goddamn homework.

Valentina becomes an elder during her favorite activity: shitting on our flowers.

-You better put those dream date ones away, too tempting!

Val, let me just say, and I truly mean this, you are a literal monstrosity.  

Cyn rolls that ‘woohoo with a service sim’ want, so goodbye Kaylynn, it’s Remington time.

-So let me get this straight, you’re firing me because, and I quote, ‘You’re really sorry but you want a guy maid to raw you, huhu🌸’? -Exactly, huhu!💗 -You’ll be hearing from the labor department. 

-Oh hiii Lucy, welcome, now get out!🌸    

-OMG OMG HI I’M CYNESWITH💗 -Well hello, I’m Remington Harris and I’m a true professional as you can surely tell by my aggressive decolletage.  -Oh Remi, you’re a godsent, I’ve been so lonely in this house with only one available choice to cheat on my husband with!🌸 -Uh, what’s that now?

-Don’t worry about it!💗

Ah, the glory of love! Cyn do you think that having both iVan and Remington in the house everyday might not be like, a super good idea?

-Of course not, what could possibly happen, huhu?🌸

Well iVan already tried killing you once?

-Oh, he didn’t mean that, it was on oopsie!💗

Credit where it’s due, this is one aesthetic af affair-

-I MEAN!

-GODDAMMIT, MOTHER, DOES YOUR DEGENERACY KNOW NO END??

Sugar you little oedipal freak, did you seriously run out in the rain in your pjs just so you could do this? Even your father doesn’t give a fuck anymore! 

Finally, God decided to put an end to this house of sin.

-WHAT THE FUCK KID, STOP PUSHING ME INTO THE FIRE -SORRY, HOT DOWNTOWNIE, I WAS TRYING TO PUSH MY MOTHER

Finally the rain stops and it’s time for Cymi (Cyn + Remi, cute, right?) to defile Jojo’s wolfwatching tent. The very place where Wyatt napped??? Cyn, come on!

-It’s what daddy would have wanted, he was always supportive of my romantic endeavors!🌸

Ya I guess that’s true, ugh I miss Wyatt :(

Real talk, Jojo has been the saddest I’ve ever seen a sim be over a spouse’s death, like non-stop crying for days. I did get very emo just by seeing him sleep alone, but then he gets up and does something that freaked me out so much I straight up shut the game down..

..HE AUTONOMOUSLY GOES TO LOOK @ WYATT’S PORTRAIT. I swear I’m not making this shit up, at first I thought he was interacting with the urn, but then I check his action panel and it’s the ‘view’ thing @ the portrait!!! 

These aren’t ‘real’ portraits taken with the portrait mechanic (which I don’t know if even with those ones sims know whose portrait is whose), they’re screenshots I put into the custom painting folder which I then have the sims paint, so there’s no way game-wise that Jojo would know this is depicting Wyatt. I’m also 100% certain I’ve never had another sim in the family autonomously go view a death portrait, because I would have definitely taken a pic and included it in a post. Point is, bro I was already convinced Jojo was sentient and was equal parts freaked and moved..  

..and then he goes to Shajar’s portrait..

..AND DOES THIS. H E L P

[if-chaos-was-a-boy]

UGH I STARTED WRITING THE GUIDE AND HOLY SHIT IM TOO SILLY

(Spot the ocs mentioned~)

Hello.

你好

Ciao

Gluten Tag [wait that’s wrong- SHH]

Anyways, do I sound enough like the message you get on a new Apple device? No? Aight, anyways…My name is Calix and I shall be your flight attendant for today around the one and only:

CAMP HALF BLOOD!

your cue to applaud or get second hand embarrassment

Now if you ARE reading this trainwreck, dumpster fire of a guide, you are most probably a Demigod! Or you also could be a mortal, monster, gay, god and deity but i’m not gonna list all of 'em.

Assuming you don’t know about Greek mythology, here’s a crash course!

1. Shit happened

2. Zeus happened

3.Humans happened

4. Zeus/ur godly parent happened pt 2

5. You happened!

Now, when you get to this point other than noticing that Humour is my coping mechanism, you also start realising there are people spearing each other outside!

I’m not gonna get into your schedule right now but prepare to get wounded….NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU!

Anyways, settle in, get snug and try to read this whole ass thing.

CHAPTER 1.

So you’ve made it to Camp Half Blood after (maybe) fighting through several monsters and getting a shit load of trauma on the way, now what?

First thing is to get you claimed! This used to be way harder because some gods are DIC- Anyways our lord and savior Percy Jackson refused immortality and godhood to force the gods to be good parents!

So we can do this the easy way:

Your godly parent recognises you and you get claimed in 0.5 seconds

Or the hard way:

Your godly parent is sleeping on the job and we are gonna have to dunk you in several life threatening situations to jump start your powers!

Now this section is dedicated to my non-demigod fam like my sis Aeryne:

If y’all don’t have a cabin, feel free to go to the Hermes Cabin or the Hestia Cabin!

We aren’t discriminative here at CHB, if other demigods try to start shit please call extermination hotline:

A) Damien Harvennson

B) Jack Hearth

C) Lilly Darhk

They will beat the bullies’ asses.

Like…brutally.

Anyways!

So you get claimed and you get assigned to your cabin. Now its time for the unfun part for the introverts….

Socialising…

Basically, unless you’re the only child of your godly parent, you ARE gonna have half siblings.

(Shoutout to the best sister in the world, Fay)

Here’s some icebreaker questions, though your Camp Counsellor (most experienced or oldest sibling) probably has your back:

Where are you from?

How old are you?

Name?

Musical?

Movie?

Song?

Anyways that’s it for chapter 1, PEACE OUT

Taglist

@that-girl-cupid

@demigod-jack-hearth

@unhinged-waterlilly

@love-lightning-forethought

@iceweavercatlover / @debacleofdaemons

@chaos-pers0nified

@stephen-the-spider

@bambi-the-dummy

@emdabitchass

@i-was-never-sane

@athenas-weirdo-daughter

@divine-wine-daughter

@kaiaalwayswins

@smileyalater

@daonedaonlyskh

@kiaradaughterofselene

@pink-koi-lovejoy

@itsyourboyezra

@hispanic-child-of-hermes

@mireya-the-awkward-extrovert

@gellyhelio

@ariathemortal

@arisdaughter

@syd-the-nerd

@steve-the-union-man

@madson-of-hermes-notluke

@thegroovydaughterofhestia

@the-olympus-assassin

@heraaaaaaaa

[get-back-homeward]

The Saga of the Bowler Hat: In Four Acts

Sep 30-Oct 15, 1961: Paris trip

We planned to hitchhike to Spain. I had done a spot of hitchhiking with George and we knew you had to have a gimmick; we had been turned down so often and we’d seen that guys that had a gimmick (like a Union Jack round them) had always got the lifts. So I said to John, ‘Let’s get a couple of bowler hats.’ It was showbiz creeping in.

Gustafson happened to bump into them the day they left, Saturday September 30. “They both had bowler hats on, with the usual leather jackets and jeans. They said they were off to Paris, so I walked down to Lime Street station with them and watched them go. They were an incredible pair: always great fun, irreverent, and so close.” [x]

We still had our leather jackets and drainpipes – we were too proud of them not to wear them, in case we met a girl; and if we did meet a girl, off would come the bowlers. But for lifts we would put the bowlers on. Two guys in bowler hats – a lorry would stop! Sense of Humour. This, and the train, is how we got to Paris. [x]

March 2-4, 1964: Filming A Hard Day’s Night train scene

The specially-hired train was destined for Minehead and back, where for the next three days scenes were filmed in the suitably cramped setting. There was a dining car for The Beatles to eat in...[their] dialogue was recorded using microphones hidden inside their shirts, but numerous retakes were required due to sound problems.

The first we did was the train, which we were all dead nervous in. Practically the whole of the train bit we were going to pieces.

I’m sure it’s less noticeable to people watching in the cinema, but we know that we’re dead conscious in every move we make, we watch each other. Paul’s embarrassed when I’m watching him speak and he knows I am. [x]

March 29, 1967: With A Little Help From My Friends day

At two o’clock in the afternoon John arrived at Paul’s house in St. John’s Wood. They both went up to Paul’s workroom at the top of the house...John started playing his guitar and Paul started banging on his piano. For a couple of hours they both banged away. Each seemed to be in a trance until the other came up with something good, then he would pluck it out of a mass of noises and try it himself. They’d already established the tune the previous afternoon. Now they were trying to polish up the melody and think of some words to go with it.

“Are you afraid when you turn out the light,” sang John. Paul sang it after him and nodded that it was good. John said they could use that idea for all the verses, if they could think of some more questions on those lines.

“Do you believe in love at first sight,” sang John. “No,” he said, stopping singing. “It hasn’t got the right number of syllables. What do you think? Can we split it up and have a pause to give it an extra syllable?”

John then sang the line, breaking it in the middle: “Do you believe—ugh—in love at first sight.”

“How about,” said Paul, “Do you believe in a love at first sight.”

John sang it over and accepted it. In singing it, he added the next line, “Yes, I’m certain it happens all the time.”

They both then sang the two lines to themselves, la-la-ing all the other lines. Apart from this, all they had was the chorus: “I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.” John found himself singing “Would you believe,” which he thought was better.

Then they changed the order, singing the two lines “Would you believe in a love at first sight/Yes I’m certain it happens all the time” before going on to “Are you afraid when you turn out the light,” but they still had to la-la the fourth line, which they couldn’t think of.

It was now about five o’clock. [x]

The Beatles began by recording the rhythm track in 10 takes, the last of which was the best. It had Paul McCartney on piano on track one, George Harrison’s rhythm guitar on two, Starr’s drums and cowbell played by John Lennon on three, and George Martin playing organ on track four.

A reduction mix, numbered take 11, made free some space on the tape for further overdubs. Starr then added his lead vocals to tracks three and four, with backing vocals by Lennon, McCartney and Harrison. This session ended at 5.45am, and recording for the song was completed on the following day. [x]

1967-1968: Paul’s favorite artist inspires Apple Corp name and logo

We were discovering Magritte in the sixties, just through magazines and things. And we just loved his sense of humour. And when we heard that he was a very ordinary bloke who used to paint from nine to one o'clock, and with his bowler hat, it became even more intriguing.

René Magritte, The Son of Man (1964)

One day [Robert Fraser] brought this painting to my house. We were out in the garden, it was a summer's day. And he didn't want to disturb us, I think we were filming or something. So he left this picture of Magritte. It was an apple - and he just left it on the dining room table and he went. It just had written across it "Au revoir", on this beautiful green apple...So it was like wow! What a great conceptual thing to do, you know. And this big green apple, which I still have now, became the inspiration for the logo. And then we decided to cut it in half for the B-side!

René Magritte, Le Jeu de Mourre [The Game of Mora] (1966)

The title was found by Magritte's friend, the Belgian poet Louis Scutenaire, and is probably a play of words on Les Jeunes Amours [Young Love] (1963), the title of a work by Magritte showing three apples. The game of mora is "a game in which one of the players rapidly displays a hand with some fingers raised, the others folded inwards, while his opponent calls out a number, which, for him to win, has to correspond to the total of the raised fingers.” [x]

Epilogue

Paul McCartney’s 1989 My Brave Face single cover

My Brave Face lyrics, written early 1988 with Elvis Costello

January 1988: The Beatles are inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

[azulsartdump]

Torben SSR Union Birthday

~ Happy Birthday (Part 1) ~

Torben: It seems like Donar and Perun’s interviews are going well. That’s good.

Dietrich: Hello, Torben.

Torben: ...

Dietrich: I’m your interviewer for today.

Torben: ...

Torben: I’m leaving.

Dietrich: Hold on you can’t just leave like that! Look, I don’t want to do this either, but it’s required by the school, so let’s get this over with as fast as possible.

Torben: Fine. Make it quick.

Dietrich: Glad we at least agree on that. Happy Birthday, Torben. Here’s your gift.

Torben: These are... vials?

Dietrich: You’re in the Science Club, right? I assumed you were sharing supplies with the rest of the club for the most part, so I thought something useful like this would be best. I don’t really know anything else about you, so I couldn’t think of anything else you might enjoy.

Torben: No, this is good enough. I have actually been hoping to get some more potion bottles with my next paycheck, so this is very convenient. The glass is pretty good quality too. Thank you.

Dietrich: Wow, that’s slightly uncomfortable. Didn’t think I’d ever see the day where you’d thank me for anything.

Torben: I’m not so stubborn that I can’t admit when someone’s gotten me a good gift, even if I dislike them.

Dietrich: Good to know. I suppose I should have assumed that. Marsella wouldn’t hang out with anyone that wasn’t a good person at heart.

Torben: I don’t know about that. Mama hangs out with you, after all.

Dietrich: Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?

~ Happy Birthday (Part 2) ~

Dietrich: Here’s your first question. “If you could have anyone outside of your dorm as a sibling, who would you choose?”

Torben: Ah, well Donar and Perun are gret siblings already, but if I had to choose someone else to add to my siblings, maybe Jack?

Dietrich: Jack, huh? Kind of hard to imagine with the size difference between you two.

Torben: HEY! I’m still growing! I’ve already started building up muscle from my training with Lilia.

Dietrich: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, why Jack in particular? Like I said, it’s kinda hard to imagine.

Torben: Well, Donar and Jack are pretty good friends, being in the same club together and all, and they get along very well so I wouldn’t have to worry about him being friendly with my brothers. He also has his own siblings too, so I’d imagine he’s used to having a big family. All that aside too, I think he’d be a great work out partner.

Dietrich: Huh, well now that you mention all that, I guess Jack would be a pretty good sibling for you. Would give you a goal to work towards too with your training.

Torben: Right? That’s what I was thinking too! I gotta ask him about his routine next time I go on my morning jog with him and Donar.

~ Happy Birthday (Part 3) ~

Dietrich: Alright, the next question is “If you could choose another dorm to be in, which dorm would it be?” As the language of the question implies, you can’t choose the dorm you’ve already been sorted into.

Torben: Oh, that’s easy. I’d choose Diasomnia.

Dietrich: Why would you want to join Diasomnia? It’s not the most attractive or friendly dorm out there.

Torben: I mean, I’ve been doing some training with Vanrouge-senpai and Silver-senpai. So it would be nice to just wake up and begin training immediately instead of having to walk all the way from Octavinelle to Diasomnia.

Dietrich: Ugh, I don’t know how you can even stand to be near the Vanrouge man.

Torben: He’s a bit eccentric, but he’s helped me a lot building up my strength. I don’t really understand why you can’t get along with your dormmates.

Dietrich: It’s something you wouldn’t understand.

Torben: If you say so. Regardless though, I don’t think I would transfer to Diasomnia unless I was forced to. Octavinelle is a nice enough dorm and I get to stick with my brothers here.

Dietrich: I see. Good to know I won’t have to worry about seeing you around the dorm hallways on the regular.

...

Dietrich: And that was the last question. Thank the Great Seven it’s finally over.

Torben: Good. I’m leaving now.

Dietrich: Hold on! I still have one duty as your interviewer today. I’ve actually been looking forward to this part a lot.

Torben: Oh, the “Gift of Good Fortune,” right? Of course you would. Get it over with then. The faster you do the faster we can leave.

Dietrich: My pleasure. Alright, steel yourself, soldier! Happy Birthday, Torben!

(Dietrich is the lovely @faehistorian​ ‘s OC)