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fangirlstorycreator · 1 year ago

Text

Taligaro X Reader

Context: Taligaro is about to be punished, but you take the punishment instead to save him

You and Taligaro had hidden your love away from the world for a very important reason, you were a princess who had left the royal family to venture out into the real world. You had known Taligaro from childhood and no matter what, he would always be there to support you and make you feel safe. Your father was not a kind man and that's why you left, and you made up this story to him that a nobleman had bought you and you now had to live in a castle way over seas. Thankfully he bought it and you were able to make your escape. Taligaro took you away with his army across the lands and seas, showing you the beauty of the world, the ocean and the wonderful sights there was to see. You fell even deeper in love with him as you traveled, finaly being able to be free from your home and all the issues, your relationship blossomed. He would make sweet love to you nearly every night, he would always wake you up with a kiss and tell you how much he loves you, and when you all traveled on his ship across the seas, he would stand with you at the front of the boat and take in the sunset with you, holding you close and telling you about his hopes and dreams, and how you are one of them.

Taligaro and his army had made quite a name for themselves and were popular when it came to being hired and being asked for help across the lands, however, not everyone can like them. Taligaro and you had grown up together, and in your childhood village was a bully named Marcus. He hated Taligaro, almost resented him in fact. Taligaro was always kind, whereas Marcus was cruel and vindictive and hated anyone who had positivity in their hearts. The hatred grew within him as we all got older, he became jealous when Taligaro worked hard to earn the title of general, and when you and him started to fall in love, his blood boiled at the sight of us. He didn't have feelings for you, but he hated that Taligaro could get any woman he wanted, and Marcus couldn't. When Taligaro starred training his army, Marcus left the village and headed as far away as he could, never to be seen again...or so you thought...One day when the ship had docked in at the local port of this new land, all the soldiers were getting ready to get off and prepare their horses, while you and Taligaro were still getting ready in the ships private bunker. "I've heard great things about this place Tal, there is lots of beautiful sights to see" "While that may be true, the only one I need is you" He comes up behind you as your packing, holds you against his chest and kisses up and down your neck. "Oh Tal you are a flatterer" "I'm just being honest my beautiful muse, nothing compares to you" You turn in his arms to face him and give him a sweet kiss. "How did I get so lucky to have you Tal?" "Maybe you did the same thing I did" "which was?" "Made a wish...I wished for you" "Oh Tal, that's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me"

He gives you the most beautiful look with his sapphire blue eyes, and leans in to kiss you so gently and yet so passionately. Both you and him start to move your hands over eachothers body, just before a knock comes at the door. "General, all the men have boarded along with our supplies. We just await you sir" It was the voice of his second in command, and once he heard him, he sadly frowned. "We will be 5 minutes" "Yes sir" and you could hear him walk away. "Well that ruined the moment" "Dont worry Tal, I'm sure there will be plenty of other moments we can share. Plus, I'm suprised you would have any stamina left over considering what we got up to last night" "You know me Y/N, just one look at you and I'm always ready to go" You giggle at him when he says that, he gives you a kiss and you both carry on getting your things ready. Before you know it, you, Tal and the army are all saddled on your horses and are on your way towards a large town people have spoken about, and where many people need help from men like Tal. You entered this very busy and large town to the main square, where you catch sight of a billboard full of notices. You and Tal get off your horses and investigate the notices. Many were little jobs that only required 1, maybe 2 of his soldiers. And there were a handful that required between 4 and 6, but that was ok, Taligaro had nearly 40 soldiers. He took the notices and brought them to the attention of his men, telling them the jobs and asking who would like to take them on. There were 7 notices all together and most of the men chose which they would like to to, leaving about 4 men without a notice to complete. But that was ok, because whenever there wasn't enough work, Taligaro would always assign them something to do within the camp or have them as personal body guards just incase.

They all made camp in a neighbouring forest and brought back many supplies they needed during their stay. The men made up their tents and all started preparing for the jobs they were going to do. And as you had finished the much larger tent that you and Tal would always share, most of the soldiers had left to go to the town. "They got ready quickly didnt they Tal?" "I'm not suprised, after being on the ship for weeks, I'm suprised they arent running towards that town!" "Oh I know what you mean, do you remember about 2 weeks into the voyage when some of the men offered to clean the ship? They HATE cleaning!" You and Tal laugh at the memory of that. A little while later, the only ones left are you, Tal and 4 of the soldiers. They were sharpening their weapons and keeping to themselves as Tal came and sat beside you outside your tent. "Are you alright?" "Yes I'm fine, just a little tired after the day of travel that's all" "Aww your tired?....Well..." He says with a cheeky smile, checking around to make sure noone is looking. "I'll get the men to start a fire. Then why dont we spend some time together in the tent?....I can help you relax...you know..." "Tal you are insatiable!" "You know you love it...sooo?" "I simply cant resist you" He gives you a kiss and whispers in your ear "I'll see you in the tent..."

Then he gets up and talks to the men as you head inside the tent. You lay down comfortably on the bed, it's a fold out one that you and Tal take with you when you travel, it's much more comfortable than the normal bed rolls. Then he enters the tent and looks longingly at you. "I still cant belive how beautiful you are" He says as he crawls on to the bed and climbs on top of you, positioning his waist inbetween your legs and resting his hand against your cheek. "You just cant help yourself can you Tal" "I think you'll find that's precisely what I can do..." Then he leans down and starts to kiss, lick and suck at the skin on your neck, it felt amazing whenever he touched you like this. One of your hands weaves into his glorious lions mane of golden hair, and your other hand strokes up and down his gorgeous arm, feeling the softness of his silky skin and the hard feel of his muscles. Your about to take off his chest armour, when you hear something from outside the tent, it's a sound that's unfamiliar to you. It almost sounded like someone falling to the ground? Or a weapon being dropped? Whatever it was, its startled you. "Tal" "What's wrong? Hey, what's with that face? Did I hurt you?" Your face is a wash with worry as you sit up on the bed, Taligaro sitting up beside you too. "Tal I heard something outside the tent" "I'm sure its nothing, the men are probably just setting up the fire" "That's not what it sounded like, Tal I have a bad feeling about this, something's wrong" Whenever you got that bad feeling, he always listened to you, because you always ended up being right, your feeling was like a warning for danger. "Its alright Y/N, I'll go and check"

He stood up and walked towards the entrance of the tent, he tries to look outside but he suddenly stands as still as he could, with a look of fright. He is backed up into the tent from the outside from what looks like the sharp end of a sword. When he is completely backed up into the tent, the man holding the sword to Taligaro's throat enters, revealing who he was. "Ahhh Taligaro...you haven't changed very much over the years have you?" "Marcus? What the hell? What are you doing hear?!"

"Well what does it look like? I'm hear to show you who is truly incharge hear. Oh...and would you look at that...Y/N is hear too..." "Don't you f#cking touch her!" "Ah ah ah Taligaro, manners. You don't want to upset me now do you? Especially with my sword so close to slicing your throat open. Boys! Come and get him" Suddenly 2 big burly men storm into the tent and grab Taligaro by his arms, dragging him outside the tent. "Don't you touch her Marcus! Y/N!" That was the last thing you heard before he was pulled outside. "My how you've changed Y/N...I'm impressed, one might say even aroused..." "What are you doing hear?! What are they doing to Tal!" "Patience Y/N, I wouldn't want to spoil the suprise...now...are you going to come willingly? Or are we going to have to do this the hard way?..." "Go f#ck yourself Marcus!" "Tsk tsk, have it your way..."

He clicks his fingers and in walks a very large man, holding a rope and a damp cloth. Marcus leaves laughing to himself as this other man advances on you. "TAL!" You scream as you jump off the bed and try to evade this man, but it was no use, he grabs you by the arm and pulls you so your being held against his chest. His big arm is holding you tightly against him with your back pressed against his stomach, that's when he holds this cloth over your mouth to stop the screaming, and slowly you begin to feel dizzy. The tent door is flapping in the wind and your able to see outside, Marcus hitting Tal in the head with a blunt object, knocking him out cold.

Tal's 4 other soldiers were also knocked out, all while you struggle against this man. Your trying to scream out to Tal, scream out to beg Marcus to stop, but the cloth around your mouth is covered in some kind of substance that is slowly causing you to slip into unconsciousness. The last thing you see before everything turns black, is Marcus smiling down on Taligaro as he is passed out on the floor.

A few hours later, you start to come out of consciousness all dazed and confused, it's now night time and you have no idea where you are. You were lead down at that moment and you try to sit up, its then that you feel your hands bound behind your back, and rope around your abdomen. You grunt and struggle to sit up in your binds, when you finally do sit up, you find yourself sat on the floor next to Marcus as he is in his own chair. It seems that he has taken you to some kind of open space in the middle of the woods, away from the rest of the world. Why was he doing this? And where was Taligaro? "Ahh it seems our sleeping beauty is finaly awake" "What the hell did you do to me? And where's Tal?! I swear if you've done anything to-" "To what? Hurt him? Oh my dear Y/N, that's exactly what he needs...what he deserves...Boys!" At that moment, two of Marcus's men drag Taligaro into the clearing, he still looks a little out of it as they pull him up to his knees. They have some kind of wooded poles contraption in the middle of this open space, with ropes dangling from each of the top of the poles. These men pull Taligaro's hands up and tie his wrists to these ropes, leaving him attached to it on his knees, unable to escape it. "What do you think of your precious Taligaro now?" "Tal?! Tal please speak to me!" You beg him as tears flood out of your eyes at the sight of him. "He cant hear you my dear, let's wake him up shall we?" Marcus clicks his fingers and one of the men pours a bucket of water over Taligaro's head, instantly waking him up and making him cough. "Ah! There he is! So glad you could finaly join us Tal..." "What...what did you..." Tal is still a little dazed from being knocked out, that was until he saw you in tears and bound in ropes on the floor, his face went red with rage. "Y/N! Let her go you b#stard! I'll kill you if you don't let her go!" Taligaro struggles against the ropes, but trying as he can, he just cant get free.

"Oh Tal Tal Tal...you can try as hard as you like, your not going anywhere...just like sweet little Y/N hear" Marcus stands up and starts circling you and looking down at you with a menacing smile. "You know, growing up, I didn't know what you saw in this one Taligaro...but now..." He kneels down to you and grabs you by the chin, forcing your face up. "I get it...quite a beauty you have hear" "Get your filthy hands off her!" He shouts out to him, he just chuckles as he looks towards Taligaro "Fine....I won't use my hands..." That's when he suddenly presses his lips against yours as he forces a kiss apon you, you try your best to move away or push him off. "Leave her alone!" Marcus pulls away very quickly, smirking down at you as you look disgusted at him. "She tastes good Taligaro-" Without hesitation, you full on headbutt him right in the face, stopping him before he can finish taunting Taligaro. You have broken a part of his nose and its bleeding down to his lips, he's grunting in pain from being hit so hard by your head. "How does your blood taste, #sshole?!" Taligaro is smiling, feeling proud of you, he always knew you were a tough woman. Marcus is angry, and turns back to you, punching you in the face so hard you fall to the floor. "Y/N!" Taligaro shouts out to you, and Marcus is wiping the blood away from his face. "Your one tough cookie, I'll give you that" You sit back up and give him a death stare, showing him you weren't scared of him. "It seems I was wrong about this one, maybe she isn't a defenseless little girl...you however Taligaro..." He says as he stands up and walks over to him "Are as pathetic as I remember" "What is wrong with you Marcus? Why are you doing this?!" "Why? Why?! You had everything you could ever want Taligaro! You got the role as General! You were respected and loved by everyone in our childhood village! You got everything you wanted, anyone you wanted! You don't deserve one piece of it!"

"So this is why you've come back? Because your jealous of me from childhood? You were a bully and you still are, that's why people didn't like you, or show you the same respect they showed me and Y/N. We earned respect! We helped people! Unlike you who just took his own issues out on everyone else and didn't have a shred of humanity towards anyone!" "Do I look like I care about what you think Taligaro? No! All I care about it doing what I planned to do with you. You see my friend over there?" He points to a man leaning against a tree, holding and swinging a large whip, with little sharp blades on the end. "This is my right hand man, and he loves punishing people who need it. And that little contraption you see in his hand? Well that's his favourite method of punishing people" "So that's your idea? To whip me?" "Not just that...my idea was to torture you infront of the only person you've ever cared about, the woman you love... and once you have been whipped to within an inch of your life, I will pour lemon juice from these trees hear right over your back. But that's not all, I'm going to make your little Y/N watch everything, then I'm going to make her mine...." "Don't you f#cking dare! She has nothing to do with this! I'm begging you, leave her alone!" Marcus just chuckles at him as he tries desperately to negotiate with him. "Its too late Taligaro...its time to use your whip my good man" Marcus says to the guy by the tree, he starts slowly walking towards Taligaros back, and you begin to panic, you couldn't just sit back and let him do this. "Marcus stop please! I'm begging you!" "Oh relax my dear, it's going to be a fun show" "Marcus please have mercy on him!...Let me take his place!!" "Excuse me?" Taligaro over hears you say this to him, he is terrified from your request.

"Y/N NO! Don't!" "Oh would one of you please shut him up for a moment?" Said Marcus. One of his men grabs a long piece of cloth and ties it in and around Taligaro's mouth, tying it around his head and inbetween his teeth so he isnt able to say anything without it coming out as a muffled noise.

"That's better. Now where were we? Ah yes...you wish to take his place?" "Please Marcus, please dont hurt him, I'm begging you! I'll take the punishment instead if that means he won't be hurt, please dont do this to him!" "Hmmm? So you would risk your life to save him?" You look over at Taligaro who is trying so hard to break free and speak to you, looking at you with pleading eyes. "I love him...and I cant let you do that to him...yes...I'll take his place" Marcus runs his finger over his chin as he thinks about it, then he smiles down at you. "Agreed. Let him down boys" The two men pull Taligaro away and tie his hands behind his back to a tree close to where you and Marcus are, still with the gag in his mouth, you can hear the muffled pleads for him desperately trying to talk you out of it. "You know, I actually like this better Taligaro, you know why?" He walks over to Tal, smirking. "I thought this would be the untimate torture for you, being humiliated infront of the woman you love. But actually...having Y/N take this pain for you, just to save you! Oh man it must be the worst thing in the world for you to have to go through. What's worse that physical pain? Seeing your soul mate be tortured to death in your place!" Taligaro tries to get up and attack him, but he is tied up and he simply can't, trying as he must. "Oooh I'm going to enjoy this Taligaro. Prepare her!"

Once Taligaro is seculry tied to the tree, the men come over to you and untie your ropes. The drag you over to the poles and tie you up just like Taligaro was, it's very painful against your wrists as they tighten it, but you wouldn't change your decision for anything, you would do anything in your power to protect Tal. You were now securely in the ropes and Marcus kneels down to your level as he's in eye contact with you. "I could sence you were a strong willed woman when you did this to me" He says pointing to his nose. "But now your in a much diffrent position, one that your precious Taligaro was in" You both look over to Tal and he looks petrified, helpless and so angry with himself that no matter how hard he tries, he just cant get out and save you. "Let's see how strong you really are...rip it" One of the men grabs your shirt and rips it so just your back is showing, the rest of your shirt is covering the front of you. He walks back to his seat, clicking his fingers to one of the men to drag Taligaro over to him. "I want to make sure you have a good view Taligaro, you dont want to miss this..... Well? What are you waiting for? Do it!" The man with the whip stands behind you and you can hear the whip fall to the floor as he readies it, you make fists with your hands to try and feel like your gripping something for the pain, closing your eyes before it starts. The whole time this happens, Taligaro is trying to say something to you through his gag, but you couldn't hear him. And a split second later, the whip smacks against your back in a terribly burning sensation, making you scream in pain, so loud you feel like your squeezing all the air out of your lungs. "Aaaahhhhhh!!!" "YES! That's what I like to see!" Marcus shouts out, Taligaro is crying and trying so hard to get out of the ropes. "Again!" Once more, the man whips you across the back again! It increases in pain each and every time he whips you. He doesn't stop no matter how hard you scream or how much you cry with the pain. Your back is getting red raw, sliced in little cuts and bleeding, you've never felt pain like it before.

Marcus grabs Taligaro by his hair and pulls him up to get closer to his face. "How does it feel Taligaro? To see the woman you love go through so much pain to save you? Ohhh this is glorious to watch!" He pulls the cloth gag away from Taligaros mouth and he let's out a pained and inhuman cry of pain looking at you. "Y/N! I'm so sorry! Please Marcus! Please stop this! I'll do anything!"

"You can beg all you like Taligaro, it wont change anything, your getting what you deserve" Taligaro looks over to you, and your limp against the ropes, feeling such overwhelming pain and agony. "Y/N! Y/N I love you! I'm so sorry Y/N-I can't-I-" "Tal..." Your able to just about whisper back to him, he looks at you with such a pleading guilt and tears filling his eyes. "Tal...I love you..." "I love you too..." One more time the man whips you again, causing you to cry out once more in agonising pain. "NO! Please stop!" "Hold your whip my good man" Marcus commands him to do, smirking at you in you in pure agony and on the verge of passing out. "I'm very impressed Tal, you've got yourself a strong one hear. I mean, I've had women in the past, but none of them willing to suffer like this in order to protect me, I'm truly amazed! I think she's had a decent amount of whipping. Now...I'll put her out of her misery...." "What?! No! Just let her go please! Kill me instead I beg of you!" Marcus walks over to you, pulls your head up by your hair and holds a blade to your throat. "My apologies Taligaro, but the best way to end this now, is to take away your soul mate, it's just perfect..." "NO! STOP!" Marcus was just about to cut your throat, when all of a sudden, he gets shot in the shoulder by an arrow. He drops the blade and holds desperately onto his shoukder. "What the f#ck! What's going on?!" Without warning, all of Taligaro's men who had left for the town, had stormed the area, killing and fighting all of Marcus's men.

Two run up to Taligaro and untie him. "Thank you all! Y/N! Someone help Y/N!" But noone was able too, they were all busy fighting while these two were helping him. Once he was free, he ran straight over to you with the help of the two soldiers. They start to untie your wrists as he takes your face in his hands, desperately trying to wake you up. "Y/N? Y/N please speak to me! I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you my love! Y/N please open your eyes!" You were so weak from the pain and blood loss, that you were only just about strong enough to look at him with tear filled eyes, you were pale and looked like you had been through hell. "I...love you Tal...please...please don't forget me-" An within that second, you complete passout. "Y/N? Oh god please don't die on me please?!" The men manage to untie your wrists and Taligaro gently takes you into his arms, being careful not to touch your injured back to much. "Oh god Y/N please wake up, please" He cant control his sadness and guilt from seeing you like this. "General, we need to get her back to camp! We have some supplies from the town that can help her, but we need to do that now! There's still time" "Your right, let's go!" He follows his soldier back to some horses and carefully cradles you in his arms as he holds you on the horse. "Just hang in there Y/N, please" And away they sped, riding as fast as they could back to the camp, where a few other soldiers were too. They had set up a healing station inside yours and Taligaro's tent, all equipped with healing elixirs, bandages and anything that could possibly help the worst injuries. Taligaro was still an emotional wreck as he laid you face down on the bed, carefully moving your head to the side on the pillow so you were more comfortable, but you still couldn't wake up. "We're going to help her general, we promise" "What can I do? Please tell me how I can help her!" "Just stay with her general, we have the medical knowledge to get her fixed up. You just stay with her while we do everything we can"

Taligaro is utterly devastated, he cant control his tears as he clings to your hand, allowing soldiers to clean up your back and apply elixir's. However, the elixir's severely sting your back apon contact and it slightly brings you back out if consciousness. "Ow! Ow ow! It hurts!" Your voice is broken from all the screaming and crying from before, even though your trying to express how bad the pain is, it comes put more like a croaky whisper. "Its going to be alright Y/N, your safe now. We're just trying to heal the wounds on your back, I promise the pain won't be there for long. Please hang in there my love" That's about all your able to hear before you pass out again, even though the pain was still excruciating, you just didn't have the strength to stay awake. Taligaro rested his other hand against your cheek as more tears fall from you, his heart was completely shattered after you sacrificed yourself to protect him, he hated himself that he couldn't protect you, and that you have to suffer so much. The soldiers were very good at helping you, and within a short amount of time, your whole back, shoulders and arms were all bandaged up and had healing medicines on them too. It was another 3 hours before you started to properly come around, you felt a little dazed when your eyes opened, but you recognised where you were, you were back in yours and Taligaro's tent. You were lead on your front with your head on the pillow, you could feel your back covered in bandages and it wasn't as painful as it was before. Whatever they used in you had helped a lot, now it was just a tender numbing pain, a bit like aches you feel when you get the flu. You couldn't remember anything that happened from when Taligaro helped you out of the ropes till now, and you were so confused at how you got back, let alone survived the ordeal.

You were just about to try and sit yourself up when Taligaro ran back into the tent and sat beside you. "Y/N! Oh thank the gods your awake! I feared the worst my love, are you alright? How are you holding up?"

Your voice is still broken and croaky, but you try your best to talk to him. "I'm...ok...Tal what, what happened?" "The men came back and rescued us from Marcus, if it wasn't for them, I don't....oh Y/N I'm so so sorry, I should have protected you and I couldn't! I'm an awful man and I understand if you hate me, lord knows I do!" "Tal...I don't hate you...i love you...I did this to keep you safe, I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to you" "Y/N you shouldn't have taken this punishment for me, I love you so much and I hate that I couldn't protect you. I tired, my god I tried so hard to get free-" "Tal shhhh, it's ok. Just breath ok?" He's got himself into an emotional state, crying and carrying so much guilt. "I know...I know you tried to help me, I could see you fighting against the ropes. But Tal I couldn't sit back and let you go through that. It broke my heart to think you would have to go through that" "Y/N its completely destroyed me that YOU went through it! Can't you see that I love you so much that I would rather take this pain for you than see you experience it?" "Tal...I love you that much that I did exactly what you said you would do...I love you the same way you love me, and any sacrifice you would give, I will do the same" He still holds your hand as his head hangs down, he knows deep down that you have a point, you did exactly what he would do if he had the chance. "My love, I am truly sorry for everything" "None of this was your fault Tal, it was all because Marcus is a cruel and-hhhssss! Gah god-" "Woh woh just be careful there Y/N, don't move to much, your still healing" "Ohhh, when will the pain stop?" "I've sent a few soldiers to the local town to get some milk of the poppy, it should help with the pain and they should be hear soon. But for now my love, you need to rest, once they arrive I'll bring you the milk of the poppy and it will help with the pain. Then we can get you something to eat and help you get better"

The tiredness was returning to you and your eyes started to feel heavy once more. "But...but Tal..." "Its ok Y/N, it's ok. Just rest my love, I promise everything will be ok. I love you so much" "I...I love you too..." And just like that, your out like a light once again, Tal smiles at you and gently brushes a strand of hair away from your cheek. He's thankful that now your safe and he can protect you, and over his dead body will anyone else ever lay a finger on you again. There is some kind of commotion going on outside the tent that alerts Taligaro, so he gives you a sweet kiss on your cheek and moves the blanket up a little more so you don't get cold. He gives you a warm smile before he exits the tent, and outside is where he sees what's going on. It appears that a few of his faithful soldiers had captured Marcus! And they had chained him to a large tree close to the middle of the camp, he's securely tied to the tree, and he certainly wasn't happy about being there. "F#ck you Taligaro! You'd better release me or else you'll regret it!" Taligaro slowly walks up to Marcus, giving him one hell of a death stare.

Then he kneels down to him and gives him one hell of a punch. He knocks one of his teeth out! He spits out the tooth and some blood, then he looks very angrily back at Taligaro. "You did something truly evil tonight Marcus, something I wouldn't wish apon my own worst enemy, which just so happens to be you. How can you defend yourself against what you did to the woman I love? An innocent and kind hearted woman who would never even think about doing anything so heinous!" "What can I say Taligaro? I enjoy making people suffer" "That's interesting you should say that Marcus...because you see..." Taligaro stands up and looks down at him, still with the death stare. "I'm not someone who enjoys watching people suffer.... however... seeing as you have simply no humanity in that black heart of yours, I may have a change of heart. You have done something that has truly crossed the line tonight, you very nearly killed the only woman I have ever loved. You tortured her, caused her unimaginable pain! And that...I simply cannot forgive, or forget" "Is that right? And what is a soft little boy like you going to do?" "Oh...I'm so glad you asked"

Behind him, Taligaro's soldiers were bringing forth a large rectangular wooden rack, it was slightly raised from the ground and had a roller at one end. On that end were manacles, and on the other end were metal ankle chains too. It seemed that Taligaro's men had acquired a torture rack, and it was exactly what Taligaro was hoping for. "You see this contraption hear Marcus? I've read stories about this device, about how when it's used apon someone's body, the chains will pull their arms in a very painful way. The roller has a handle that turns with every move of the hand, pulling the arms of the person strapped to it. I've heard that your bones can be dislocated and ripped out of your sockets, causing incredible pain. This, Marcus, is exactly what your punishment is for what you've done to my sweet Y/N. What do you think? Are you scared?" "You will be if you don't let me go! Get these f#cking things off me!" Taligaro kicks him square in the stomach, causing Marcus to groan in pain. "I'm not a cruel man Marcus....but anyone who puts my beloved Y/N through what you did to her.....will pay the price" "So what?! Let's just get this over with!" "Oh, so quick to get on there are you? Well it's a shame you can't just yet. Your going to be our prisoner until Y/N is back to normal, healthy and happy again. Only then, will you be put on this rack, I want her to see you get exactly what you deserve. For the meantime, my men will only feed you the scraps of what ever they find in the muddy ponds, of maybe even nothing at all? Consider that, me being merciful" Taligaro walks away from him, but Marcus shouts back. "F#ck you Taligaro!" "Will one of you mind shutting him up?" Taligaro asks his soldiers, one happily walks over to Marcus and hits him so hard that he knocks him out. "Thank you" "General! We're back with the milk of the poppy" Came the voice of the two soldiers he sent. "Ah! Thank you, both of you" "Will Y/N require it now General?" "Not quite yet, she needs some time to rest. Once she's awake, I shall give it to her" "Yes General" He hands Taligaro the vials of milk of the poppy and makes his way over to the other soldiers. Taligaro looks at the bottles, and then at you sleeping in the tent. "I promise I'll make all of this right again Y/N, I promise"

2 notes · View notes

inactive334884 · 2 years ago

Note

Me and a friend of mine were talking about this whole situation yesterday, and scrolling through the vivziepop tag together while on the phone.

We ended up finding a few tweets going on with "if vivzie is an abuser then I support abuse I guess " and that only proves that no matter how much evidence and proof and testimonies they get,fans will still rather ignore the issues with vivziepop.

When we read that my friend literally said out loud to me "no no,you can't choose to stand with the victims only when it's convenient to you"

We scrolled a bit further and some other examples were just as embarrassing,it was disheartening,and all the comments "I feel bad for vivziepop I hope she stays strong and heals from this".

To quote my friend again :

"As long as they keep getting their little demon show,basic workers rights don't matter to them"

And it seems to be true,considering they don't even give it the benefit of the doubt and dismiss it immediately as false crap.

They dont care about Vivziepop, or the mistreated artists either.

They only praise her and coddle her to get things from her, saying "we love you vivzie!" or "thank you viv!" as a way of rubbing her ego whenever she does anything wrong to herself or others.

Meanwhile, if you mention anything about the show's production effecting her mental health they go: "What are you talking about???" or "She choose this, why are you so worried?!" despite the fact that what they are encouraging is clearly harming Viv. While also saying "innocent till proven guilty!" but trusting the words of the more privileged (aka viv's friends.) staff immediately regardless of if they have any evidence on them or not, it's hypocrisy.

They just want more Hazbin and HB content, even if they have to ignore the wellbeing of most of the staff in order to get it in a shorter amount of time, even if they have to ignore most of Vivzepop's wellbeing and only compliment her when it benefits them and its not just a parasocial relationship to have with her fandom, its downright harmful towards Vivziepop's own health. It's disgusting and I really hope that Viv receives genuine help one day, but in the context of the mistreated artists within Spindlehorse:

I do hope that they receive justice one day, even if its in the form of a small apology, at least some acknowledgment towards thier existence or thier work from Vivziepop, something.

These people need to realize that they NEED to start treating this situation as an adult and stop acting as if this is all ok when it's NOT ok. Her overworking herself and others is NOT ok! Vivziepop is overworking herself MUCH more than she needs to and is also putting others in the same position as her. It's self harm, and is also the harm of others by trying to convince them to treat themselves that way as well. Overworking is NOT ok, period!

#tw self harm mention #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #hazbin critical #hazbin criticism #vivziepop #the erin frost situation

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heavensgateiowa · 3 years ago

Note

I seen you mention latent homosexual Jason and if you're interested in further elaborating I would love to hear it

hello hi!

so i would love to someday write a full piece about jason grace with like. real textual analysis and shit but i'm letting my ideas fester first

i've also made a few posts talking about where he as a character is placed in relation to other queer characters (as nico's initial confidant and friend, as piper's comphet partner) and also his relationship to leo (and to percy lmao) already.

essentially, jason has, almost from birth, had his life controlled by jupiter, king of the gods and ultimate archetype of masculinity, fatherhood and virility, and juno, his wife, goddess of marriage. riordan's characterisation of both these characters deliberately skews negative, for a very specific reason: the series hinges on just how scary it is to have a parental figure reject you.

percy feels abandoned by the father he never knew at the beginning of the series. annabeth is desperate to impress her mother, and feels overshadowed and abandoned by the rest of her family. piper is completely disconnected from the idea of heterosexual love and traditional, eurocentric feminine beauty which she associates with her mother, and repulsed by the association while so fascinated by it and desperate for the approval associated with it that she seeks it out in the form of her relationship with jason. i could go on, and each of these examples probably deserves its own in depth examination.

but for all these characters, alienation from and abandonment by a parental figure is the ultimate evil, the thing they fear most, the most destructive force in their lives. it's a reflection of the adolescent experience which makes the books resonate so hard with young people. it's an example of the 'there is a dragon. the adults don't believe you when you say there is a dragon' philosophy of childrens books; it is so hard to articulate as a child the negative experiences you are having with a parent or caregiver, and even if you can articulate those experiences, who will believe you? certainly not the parent themselves.

jason represents all this in extremis. what if a child was taken from his mother and sister (the same thing that happens to nico, incidentally, only jason was too young to remember it and is therefore almost numb to the trauma by comparison because he has never known it any other way), and groomed to become a leader and a hero in such a way that he could never become anything else? jupiter and juno are villainised because they represent the ultimate evil of the series, parental neglect, abuse and control. the distant father, who says out loud that he will not give his son the attention, praise or affection that he so clearly needs as a matter of principle. the overbearing mother and wife archetype, who becomes an embodiment of both heteronormativity and control, those things being one and the same in jason's life. when he seeks control he also seeks heterosexuality.

conversely, when he gives up control, when he gives up his role as praetor, when he and piper break up, he stops seeking heterosexuality. i would argue this very slow slide begins when he sees juno's true form and starts losing his vision (god im so hazy on this point ive only read the books once sorry if i get this wrong). he is exposed to the 'true form' of the goddess that represents, to him, heterosexuality and control. he then loses his vision, and is given glasses (by asclepius the son of apollo dont even get me started on that particular train of thought). this represents a physical transition, a step-down from youthful masculine perfection into almost a form of old age.

this is jason’s attempt to reclaim his own life and agency, and it ultimately leads to his death.

there’s something very compelling in the accidental ‘bury your gays’ moment that happens in trials of apollo. riordan has talked about how, upon reflection looking at the first series, he realised that nico was a queer character.

this is fascinating, and an excellent statement regarding nico, but the context of jason makes it all the more interesting. nico and jason are almost total opposites; nico is an outsider, a victim, associated with death and hell. he’s a lot more easy to shape into a queer narrative, where he comes out and is accepted within the group. instead, jason has spent his whole life on top of the world. a praetor, son of the king of the gods, the embodiment of strength and classical masculinity and heroism (but completely without agency). shaping a queer narrative out of that proves to be a great deal more difficult, and so riordan doesn’t. i don’t believe he intended to do this, i don’t think he recognised jason’s queerness for what it was, but he sublimates jason’s queerness into other things; he has jason fight for the underdog, like nico and the underappreciated gods. he has jason move from praetor to pontifex maximus, one of the only remotely autonomous choices he makes in the series. he has jason wear glasses with all they represent. he has jason slowly back away from heteronormativity, from jupiter and juno and all that they represent, from his failed relationship with piper.

but jason still dies. he fails to escape his fate, and dies the death of the very heroic warrior he no longer wanted to be. and his queerness dies with him.

there is so much more i could elaborate on, and someday i will, but this is already way longer than i meant it to be lol. long story short jason grace my beloved

#this took me literal weeks to write and it's still incoherent i'm so sorry #anyway! these are all my subjective opinions as a critic #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #jason grace #answered #ted talks

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joyaphoria · 3 years ago

Text

with the flowers (8)

part eight: the chaos within

pairing: suna x f!reader

summary: if a teacher had been the one to catch suna dangling on the edge of inarizaki’s roof, he definitely would’ve been in trouble. except it wasn’t a teacher that caught him, it was you—the school whore. yea, he’s starting to wish it was a teacher.

word count: 1.2k

this is a retell of chapter six, but in y/n’s perspective the strikethroughs are supposed to be there re-read part six before reading this

directory | previous | next

one, two, three.

three hours seconds, he’s been staring at your house.

he’s not actually gonna come inside, is he? no, he thinks you house is pathetic.

he’s walking up the driveway; no now he’s on your path he’s on your path.

‘why are you here?’ “you’re here!” you stare smile at him, your eyes piercing into running along to the girl he brought with him.

more people, there’s more. run, get away. leave, go away.

“oh, and you brought—wait, is that your sister?”

it’s a stupid question. of course she’s his sister. now he thinks you’re stupid. you’re stupid you’re stupid, you’re stupid.

“my parents aren’t home right now, they thought i should bring her.” he scoffs replies.

he’s staring he’s glaring parents parents parents.

you stare at her pat her head, before closing the door moving aside to let them in.

‘you coming was already too much.’ “don’t even worry about it don’t even worry about it,” you smile.

repeating sentences is pathetic weird. shut your mouth don’t do it.

send them away, show them you aren’t one to be messed with.

“i have a little sister you can play with!” you offer her your hand, and she hesitantly takes it. “don’t touch me.”

go away, go away please. leave us alone.

“hanakooo!” don’t come downstairs, stay upstairs please. strangers, they’re strangers you shouldn’t have brought here stay upstairs don’t come down stay upstairs don’t come down-

“this is aiko and suna.”

go back upstairs.

“look after aiko for me, okay?”

don’t get to close to this girl, hana. you don’t know her.

“how old is your sister?” suna asks, following you to the kitchen.

why does it matter to him?

“none of your business” “fourteen.”

it’s quiet it’s too quiet he’s gonna think you’re overthinking the question and that you’re being rude, you have to-

ask him back.

“same as yours?”

he nods.

hanako doesn’t do well with girls her age you shouldn’t have let that girl into your house especially not secluded in a room with your sister what if that girl hurts her what if she’s rude and hurts hanako’s feelings—

you make your way up the stairs and he follows you.

“don’t follow me.”.

laugh or he’ll think that you hate him.

you laugh again, so hard that you think you might throw up.

it’s quiet again, and you want it to stay that way. you want him to leave and allow you to bask in the silence peacefully, on your own.

“why do you do it?” suna asks out of the blue, his back on your bed and his feet on the carpet, launching one of your stuffed toys into the air and catching it.

ignore him ignore him ignore him ignore him- “if you’re gonna ask a random question like that, i’m gonna need a little context, pretty boy.” you tease, jumping onto your bed and causing him to nearly fall off.

smile, smile, don’t let him pity you.

“’donate pussy for money’” he clarifies—and you want to drop dead—mocking your past statement. “why do you do it?”

‘why do you ask?’ “why do you ask?”

you weren’t supposed to say that out loud you were supposed to answer with a straight answer or else he’ll pity you he’ll think that you’re coming up with something to say because you’re pathetic and useless and—

“well i mean, you live in a perfectly stable house, your parents—” what will he say if i tell him that it’s only my mother will he pity me will he think i’m stupid will he-

“—both have jobs, you have food, i don’t get why.”

of course he doesn’t get it, no one ever gets it.

tell him to mind his own business because you’re upset laugh because you don’t want him to think you’re upset.

he watches as you burst into yet another fit of laughter, holding onto your stomach as if you were in pain because you are, it hurts, everything hurts.

“i had dont have a dad.” you nudge him. “my dad committed suicide when he was seventeen—” too soon too soon too soon, change it now.

“—you know, jumped off of inarizaki’s roof.” better, much better better, much better.

suna frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. “that isn’t funny.”

that was insensitive that hit too close to home don’t let up so easily—don’t be a pushover you pathetic whore.

“oh come on, you know it is.” you look away smirk. “i wasn’t joking though, he really did commit. he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof, but yea, he committed.”

you almost said it twice you almost said it twice.

he’s staring at you. did you say it twice? he’s gathering his thoughts.

he’s judging you he’s processing—this is a lot to process no it isn’t.

he’s gonna keep staring if you don’t do something let him.

“you look ugly when ur serious.” you admit, squishing his cheeks together. “ease up a lil.”

that was rude, take it back. that was sily; in a weird good way.

“straightforward much?” he licks the hand closest to his mouth, and you scream shriek, tearing yanking your hands away.

“i’m just saying!” you frown giggle, wiping your hand on his shirt. “it was way before i was born anyways.”

right, you forgot to add that. now he thinks you’re a traumatized freak.

“wait, but if he committed before you were born, then hanako—”

“has a different father, pervert, male, worthless-piece-of-shit, guy, person, asshole, dad, dad, dad, but he took off a long time ago.”

and he better not come back he better not come back.

he’s not satisfied with the answer he’s not satisfied.

“i do this for her, you know?” you say, once you’ve both ended up laying side by side on your bed.

for hanako, say you do it for hanako

“for hanako. i wanna send her to a college in the us.”

it’s half true it’s the truth.

“does your mom know? like about any of it?” no she doesn’t, she wouldn’t care she’d be really upset.

“why hooking though? aren’t there better and safer options?”

because you’re used to it.

“you mean like working as a cashier?”

too many people it’s too many people they look at you and they know they know you’re filthy you’re disgusting it’s

too many people.

“yeah.”

how to justify how to justify how to-

“you’re probably right.” you shrug. “i guess i just like the attention,”

liar.

liar

“i like that people like my body, you know?”

kill yourself.

shut up

shut up.

“it’s one of my worst best traits.”

its hell, i want to get away i want to get away.

die die die die

die.

notes:

— i hope this gives a little insight into how much is going on in y/n’s head

— it’s just utter chaos and jumbled words and thoughts and things that don’t make sense and things she wants to/can’t/doesn’t know how to say; so if this was confusing or hard to understand, it’s supposed to be like that

— again, if you didn’t re-read chapter six, i recommend you do; the chapters are the same but the different perspectives change everything.

— no one would be able to last a day in her head, let alone stay sane.

taglist: @hotaruaizawa @its-the-aerieljeane @yourlocalbabybird @bakudummy @sunahyejin @satorinnie @lilith412426 @zukoslosthishonor @rintarovibes @underiwa @m01k @rinsangel @iicherrycore @kamalymaly @lmaosuna @whorefornoodles @anngelllla @ohrintarou @call-me-lulu @imeowforu @tsuksdinonugget @namyari @bakugouswh0r3 @theblueslytherin

#—joylovesyou #haikyuu #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu drabbles #suna rintarou #suna #suna x reader #suna smau #suna angst #suna comfort

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probably-haven · 3 years ago

Text

Spoilers Galor ...... it is time.... for me to do what ive been considering for quite some time

this is my arguement... on why, whether romantically or platonically, i think you should ship or bro-ship,...... Childe.... and Albedo

HERE ME OUT I SWEAR PLEASE IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD- JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE! rarepair shipping is painful- join me

OR DONT EVEN IF YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE THE SHIP A CHANCE I DO A LOT OF ANALYSIS ON ALBEDO AND CHILDE’S CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY, AS WELL AS THE FATUI, THEYRE METHODS, AND THE RELATION WITH MONDSTADT- AND OTHER STUFF- just- if you like reading different analysis-es of the game or ship material or anything-

please just consider skimming it possibly-

so for the first section of my argument, i will cover why this is a largely feasible possibility, so let’s set the stage

- Childe is from Snezhnaya, and he is shown to have a large amount of ties to his home, including but not limited to; his family, ice fishing, and just a large number of nostalgic references in his voice lines.

- Because of this it’s a pretty common occurrence that he finds himself feeling homesick, as with many of the other Fatui.

- This is why he, like many of the other Fatui, so frequently visit and camp within Dragonspine, where the cold snowy atmosphere serves to remind them of home and the things they left behind.

- also in his birthday letter, it says he canonically visits Dragonspine, but explaining it this way gives it feeling

- so considering that he would be in Dragonspine relatively often, and given the large number of Fatui camps in there regardless, it’s pretty clear he’d have heard of Albedo. So onto Albedo (unfortunately i wasnt there for his event so i dont have as much fuel, but it is what it is)

- there’s a few things that need to be asked first- It’s pretty clear that Albedo must have some interaction with the Fatui given the sheer number of them that camp in Dragonspine. Evidentially, he’s still alive so the question is why? and there’s a few possible explanations for this.

- He just sneaks around a lot or avoids them (this i think is unlikely, as it would limit his actions while conducting experiments as well as the places where he’d be able to conduct them, which isn’t a big deal, but when there are other options I don’t think this is the one he’d pick) - He just pulls a traveler and kills them (i don’t think he would do this except for as a last resort, he’s rather disconnected from any sense of empathy yes, but his time is better spent elsewhere. If it comes to that, it comes to that and he will, but he wouldn’t do it as his first option) (also i dont use geo characters much so idk how good he’d be at breaking their shields in this case) - The Fatui don’t bother or attack him out of their own choice

- i think the third is the most likely, which sounds dumb but hear me out.

- something that is stressed time and time again during the mondstadt archon quest is the fact that nobody wants to increase the always present strain on diplomatic relations between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya. - Sure the Fatui do not care very much about this and have many ways to get around this. Signora attacking Venti (technically not a diplomat, and by disappearing she had plausible deniability; traveler’s words against her own, and really both traveler and Venti weren’t supposed to survive that, hence “leave no trace”), or the Fatui constantly attacking the traveler, (who’s canonically travelling alone with only Paimon, always on the move and encountering many unfamiliar dangers, not hard to clear up) - However despite this, I still believe that Albedo’s safety(and by extent that of Sucrose and Timeus) on Dragonspine is maintained by a mixture of political agreement, situational convenience, and Albedo’s own actions

- its difficult for this to work but i believe it’s the most likely answer, combining all three possibilities that i mentioned above. - Albedo is an official Knight of Favonius, so his death would cause a pretty dramatic commotion, and since he’s been in Dragonspine for as long as he has, if he was found dead outside of his lab- or suddenly disappeared, the first person to blame would be the Fatui.

- “But Flurp! what about the stuff you mentioned earlier, with Senora’s attack and the Fatui always going after the traveler?”

- context is key. The traveler is a traveler, and Venti was a necessity to achieve their goal. The traveler is also a huge threat to what they are trying to do, since the Fatui have probably heard of their accomplishments. Them attacking Venti was inevitable, no matter the strain it would cause. The fact that the traveler was there as well was merely coincidence in my opinion

- again “leave no trace” means the intent was that both the Traveller and Venti weren’t meant to survive. This is important because if the traveler disappeared, they would have vanished shortly after finishing what they had to do in mondstadt and thered be no reason to suspect anything had happened to them, just that they had moved onto Liyue.

- Venti would pose risk, but again, the pros outweighed any risk it could have posed to their relations.

- with the Fatui regularly attacking the Traveler, again, that’s easy to clear up and would be difficult to pin on the Fatui, assuming how long it would take to realize they were gone (because despite helping so many people, its still natural to assume they’ve just travelled elsewhere)

- Albedo on the other hand, is technically a legal official, because of his high rank in the knights. He is also only ever really found in Dragonspine and Mondstadt the city. And he is well familiar with the dangers of Dragonspine, so if he were to die there it would be assumed to be either at the hands of the Fatui, or one of his own experiments.

- Thus attacking him is very high risk(unlike the traveler), and since he has nothing to do with their plans, low reward(unlike Venti).

- So most likely he doesn’t needlessly interact with the Fatui, but should an experiment need to expand into the space of one of their camps, it’s likely he would need some kind of documentation to do so. At the same time, Albedo himself would also not be able to harm the Fatui who frequent the mountain. I TOOK WAY TO LONG TO EXPLAIN THAT UGGGGHHHHHHH anyways

- So set the stage, Childe is visiting Dragonspine, right? And he hears from whichever Fatui Camp he happens to stop in about the one Knight of Favonius that they keep seeing around Dragonspine, the one who just last week came to them with a stack of documents saying they would have to move their camp, it’s annoying but they have orders not to attack him.

- and then there’s Childe, who’s been living in Liyue, surrounded by people who basically fear Dragonspine as if its some kind of deadzone, and he just assumed that for anyone not from Snezhnaya, thats exactly what it was. He assumed nobody but the Fatui would dare even visit there, let alone be there as frequently as whoever this person was.

- And he’s got to be pretty important for there to be orders not to attack him, right? - cue Childe’s unique brand of curiosity, so he asks more, apparently the fellow has a geo vision, and had been spotted taking down or even just lurking by a number of Dragonspine’s dangers as though it was merely routine - cue flashback to when he first met the traveler, instantly hesitant, hostile, and potentially even afraid towards him as soon as he realized he was Fatui, even before revealing himself as a harbinger.

- so what was it about this guy that made him so convinced he could walk into a Fatui camp alone, order them around, and still walk out alive. Even Childe could admit how underhanded the Fatui were at times, their true orders could have been anything

- He’s not just going to leave now, no. So he asks more questions and figures out that they did at one point scout out his lab while the Knight was out, and give him the location. He’s a harbinger, what are they gonna say “sorry sir, can’t tell ya” no, these bitches see him with the same amount of fear they’d have for Dotorre or Scaramouche or La Signora or any of the others- you don’t just tell a harbinger “no”

- So anyways Childe decides to check it out

- in the case that Albedo’s mid experiment in his lab when this happens, he’ll probably assume it’s a Knight, since the Fatui haven’t tried anything in quite some time and would just send off a quick “I am in the middle of an experiment right now, I would prefer not to be disturbed” - and Childe would laugh at his voice because let’s be honest, he thinks of himself as a Chad and it just sounds “weak” to him, and then the scenario leads into what would happen even if he wasnt mid-experiment

and now a look into Albedo’s perspective

- let’s assume that the Knights heard about the Traveler’s role in what happened in Liyue, since it’s kind of common knowledge that Childe was the one who did it, and the traveler doesn’t exactly try to hide that he fought Childe. So considering how often the knights and the Fatui clash, and what happened with Signora, they would likely ask the traveler about it, in order to be better prepared, and for that same reason i feel like the traveler would tell them some of it.

- so in this situation, it’s likely that Albedo would recognize him and likely know an amount of his combat abilities, and the thing with the fake seals of permission/Osial, but I don’t think the Traveler would have given told any more than that

- so here’s Albedo, surrounded by Fatui camps, knowing that he knows more about this Harbinger than the other thinks he does and assuming that Childe knows more about him himself, but just how much does he know.

- it’s the first time one of the Fatui has come to his lab in- he doesn’t know how long (other than the occasional instance of a wounded member risking the encounter in a moment of desperation. He’s observed that those who wield hydro have never been present in any of these instances, and are most likely designated as healers, but he isn’t in the best position to find out.) - and the fact that the first Fatui to come to his camp(out of anything other than necessity) is a Harbinger, is certainly very off putting, as he knows that Childe most certainly has the ability to change the orders of the Fatui around him whose cooperation with him is something that he recognizes as very fragile

- and he knows it’s unlikely, in the back of his mind he keeps recalling that this specific Harbinger is the one who resurrected a dead god for the purpose of destroying a city (flashback to the famous “if I destroy Mondstadt” line) but he reminds himself that it’s highly improbable and thus illogical to jump to that conclusion, but he is nonetheless very on edge with Childe’s presence

- However, as with the rest of the Fatui, his hands are legally tied, and unless Childe moves to attack him, any move he makes would only serve to reflect on the rest of the knights

- As such neither would attack the other in this scenario, though Childe would very much want to, and Albedo would very much be prepared to. - and both of these people are very observant (Albedo in the general sense and Childe in the ‘reading body language for combat’ sense) so both of them are completely aware of that, though Albedo would probably acknowledge that it may just be a result of his own paranoia

- However, unless Childe has orders otherwise, he tends to approach interactions with a more amiable attitude, extending his hand and introducing himself as “Childe,” less flamboyant than normal, because yes he’s extra, but not an idiot, he’s not gonna say “hey girlie, hold still” when the guy obviously has his hand tensed like that, “discretely” ready to reach for whats assumed to be a weapon, a melee one based on the position, sword or polearm probably

- Albedo, isn’t really one for pleasantries though, he has a number of things he still needs to do, and he does not want this Harbinger in or nearby his camp. “I’m aware” he says, giving his full attention, so as not to be caught off guard, and to get this over as quickly as possible. “I assume you have some purpose behind this visit. I am rather busy at the moment, so i would prefer that we keep this interaction brief.”

- and Childe is a little shit who still doesn’t know how to associate violence and hostility with any kind of bad vibes so he just laughs and holds up his hands “relax relax, I’m not here on business, no need to be on edge, right?”

- But Childe has a tendency while speaking to, knowingly or unknowingly, give his words a rather ominous tone. That and the fact that Albedo is in his lab, one of few places in Dragonspine where any misfortune that might befall him could be pinned on his own experiments keeps him from letting down his guard just yet.

HOWEVER i cant do dialogue... and this isn’t technically a fanfiction so i can summarize-

- Childe is basically all like “so why the shit are you in dragonspine comrade? i thought yall hated it”

- and albedo is all “experiments and this is where my lab is, is ” but like- not key details cuz he isnt going to reveal stuff to the fatui

-and Childe basically be like “ why up here, isnt there other places,” cuz he legit doesn’t get it. He gets that his mindset isn’t the norm, so he’d assume Albedo would want to do anything to avoid Dragonspine and its dangers like what seems to be the norm for what most people hes interacted with have generally agreed

- and Albedo says some flowery words for like oh “In the pursuit of knowledge if one allows themselves to be dissuaded by potential dangers, then they will find it quite difficult to progress beyond that which is already known”

- which, is important cuz it reflects Childe’s mindset on getting stronger, so he’s like yeah, checks out, and being the extroverted shit he is, he has the guts to ask “aren’t you gonna ask why im in dragonspine?” or something because honestly he likes talking about himself, and thats a topic that doesnt have to do with the fatui so it’s an easy way to make conversation.

- and Albedo, who has by now slightly relaxed just enough to resume preparing the experiment he was preparing before Childe came in. and all passive aggressively is like “The same as the rest of the Fatui, most likely. Now if you don’t mind I do have a number of experiments to conduct and I’m afraid it can get rather dangerous, so it would be best that you take your leave now”

- and Childe gets the message that he’s essentially being told to fuck off but he’s also cheeky as shit and absolutely loves to test his luck so he’d be all “I thought you said not to be dissuaded by potential dangers” sounding all proud of himself for using the other’s words against him

- and Albedo doesn’t have time for this so he just turns back towards Childe, same tone and same face as before, and repeats “it would best that you take your leave”

- Now Childe doesn’t see this as a challenge persay, but he sees how easily it can turn into one, and speaks the two cliche words “make me”

- but Albedo is also a little shit and just turns to resume his experiment, letting out a sigh “Stay if you’d like. I didn’t consider this possibility but I may have to request my lab be made off limits to the Fatui. A shame, I didn’t plan to return to Mondstadt for quite some time”

- and Childe, he’s decently smart- and he knows a number of things, 1 the other harbingers are gonna be pissed if they find out he caused more work for them again, 2 this individual is interesting and he very much wants the opportunity to fight them in the future, and 3 he’s not involved in politics and should Albedo follow through, the Harbingers wouldn’t give 2 shits if he asked them to try and get the change reversed.

- and so he leaves, but he’ll be back

- Albedo’s threat may have given him the upper hand for now, but it also served as a challenge he wouldn’t forget. - of course it’s not really that big a deal though, just if he’s ever in Dragonspine again and there’s nothing nearby to kill, he’d keep it in mind, and hey, best case scenario he can get more information to contribute to the Fatui

OKAY

- so now that Childe is gone and Albedo is able to reflect on the interaction, at first he’s just relieved nothing bad happened

- within the following day he reflects once again, deciding that the Harbinger most likely wasn’t lying about his intentions, he truly did seem seem to merely have been curious as he had claimed

- in hindsight he also realizes that conversing with him may also allow him to confirm or deny a number of the theories he had on the Fatui, or perhaps raise more questions for him to look into that he had not yet considered... or at least it could as long as he was careful about how he asked.

- AND THUS there a few more meetings, many are purely conversational, each trying to get knowledge from the other while being fully aware that the other is trying to do the same - not the type of battle Childe is used to, and it does get boring at times, but it’s all part of the game so he persists

- and eventually, as Albedo recognizes this as a regular thing, he begins enlisting Childe’s help in a number of experiments. Just figuring that since he’s doing an experiment and Childe is there regardless, it’s the most efficient option. That and it keeps the more dangerous questions to a minimum, often redirecting the questions towards alchemy, a much safer topic that he does not need to step so carefully around in order to discuss.

- There comes a point where Childe decides to point out the fact that Albedo most often has him help out with combat-requiring aspects of his experiments, and questions why

- Albedo, figuring it was obvious, reminds him of the conversation a few visits ago, where Childe mentioned his drive to get stronger, and(to requote) said that if he didn’t feel these opponents were sufficient to increase Childe’s strength, he could always bring in a couple Oceanids to fight. He then points out afterwards that ruin guards are a bit easier to fight with a bow

- Mixed responses from Childe including but not limited to - quickly refusing in the language of hydro vision panic, followed quickly by - oh, so he’s been trying to help this whole time, to- - how the fuck would he bring Oceanids to Dragonspine, is that even possible? - followed by curiosity

- and so he brings up the point that he’s never seen Albedo fight, which is a shame. “If you can’t take them down on your own just say so, no need to make excuses.” because heck yeah he’s going to taunt him, I mean this is Childe

- which of course Albedo returns with “If you want to see me in combat, follow your own advice” because of course, by now he knows about Childe’s combat obsession, like you don’t need to know him that long to figure it out, its kind of obvious.

- but he recognizes the intention, so he finishes what he’s doing checking what he needs for his future plans before exiting the lab, Childe following behind him, eager to see his future opponent in action

- so albedo goes to a ruin guard/grader/hunter(one of those), because otherwise it’s hilichurls or abyss mages and he knows enough to be able to tell that’s not exactly the kind of opponent Childe meant, and he would prefer not to have the topic brought up again, if he knew how to avoid it.

- so Childe stands back and Albedo, who is well accustomed to having to defeat the enemies in Dragonspine in order to get components for his alchemy knows exactly how to kill this bitch cuz honestly, the number of these guys he’s probably killed for research purposes is astronomical, so it’s done rather quickly and methodically, as if just another part of routine, exactly the way that it had been described when Childe was first asking the Fatui at that one camp about the alchemist.

- And that interest/intrigue that had started in the side of Childe’s mind and grew over time into one of the reasons(tho not the main reason) that he would often go to Dragonspine... it multiplied exponentially

- cue a few more visits and a new turning point occurs

Klee

- Childe comes to visit, and upon arriving at the lab he sees a child

- cue Childe approaching again, amiable grin on is face “and who’s this young lady” - because it’s literally canon that he’s good with kids

.....

- but Klee isn’t any kid

- and Klee was there for the briefing so she has just as much information on Childe as any of the other higher ranking knights - and only that much information

- a short time later they’re cleaning up the scattered remains of what was Albedo’s last experiment, lucky that the explosion was set off near the entrance so the damage wasn’t too extensive

- “Please don’t tell Master Jean, Dodocco said he was sorry”

- Cue Childe’s “I’m not a bad guy... okay I’m kind of a bad guy” quote - “but I mean no harm, I’m a friend of Albedo’s”

- and Albedo’s standing there like when I agree to that but he wants to see how this plays out

- and I’m really unfamiliar with Klee’s characterization, but you get the point Childe is canonically god at kids, he’s gonna learn that Klee’s basically Albedo’s little sister, Klee’s gonna get attached to him and remind him of his siblings back home, Childe’s interaction with Klee is basically what gets Albedo to start actually somewhat trusting Childe as opposed to just using him from a metaphorical distance and subtly helping in ways that wouldnt really negatively impact the knights

- and now that hes no longer actively distrustful his mind is more open to actually becoming attached, as he now begin to recognize that that which he initially believed to be mere manipulation tactics was actually just... Childe being genuine, or as genuine as a person can be in their situation

OKAY OKAY OKAY NOW THAT ALL THAT IS ESTABLISHED I CAN GET INTO THE DYNAMIC

- so theres the obvious things i already mentioned, like their mutual extreme drive to improve in their respective fields that separates them from others, even within their own respective groups/organizations which already(to an extent) separate their members from most others

now lets talk about this point specifically

- both Childe and Albedo are capable of helping each other grow in their respective fields.

- two things that have the potential to cause Childe trouble and lessen his combat ability and the problems with his delusion and his foul legacy transformation

- these two things are things likely unlike anything that Albedo has been able to study before (tho delusions he might have some experience with- but it’s unlikely) and it would likely be able to expand his knowledge, were he given the opportunity to experiment them, while simultaneously helping childe improve his strength

HOWEVER

- both of them know just how fragile the relationship(whatever it is) between them is, how quickly tensions can shift and orders can change, so in order to protect both the other and themselves they both understand that actually going through with this wouldn’t truly be safe and both sides could get in trouble for it

- because no matter what they do there will always be a constantly present risk hanging over their heads, but ill come back to that

- Dragonspine - in a lot of Albedo ships, the other character has to go through the effort of going to Dragonspine, which tends to serve as an obstacle for the relationship to be overcome (exception of sucrose and... idk do people ship him with Timeus? just in case, recognizing them both as potential exceptions) - However, in the case of Childe, who legitimately enjoys coming to Dragonspine, he wouldn’t hesitate to visit Albedo - with most it becomes “wow, i haven’t seen Albedo in a while, gee, i wish he’d come down the mountain, nonetheless i am a good lover so i shall make the harsh trek to see my beloved” - with this bitch Childe tho it’s more like “oops, feelin’ homesick, Imma see how Albedo’s doing, hope he’s made progress, wonder if Klee will be there” or “Wow I haven’t seen Albedo in awhile. Finna finish up these fatui duties real quick and head over, if i say im checking on the Fatui stationed there, I dont even have to ask to go on leave” (he gets in trouble for not officially asking for a day off anyways)

-anywho, Childe is largely used to interacting with the Harbingers, who always seem to have some other secret second layered plan of sorts that he’s not always informed about (ex: him being intended to fail when he summoned Osial, but being kept in the dark about it), which conflicts with Childe’s relatively straight forward nature - Albedo also possesses the potential to be similar, however he doesn’t often see the need for such things, preferring to be frank about his goals and expectations, so unlike with his fellow harbingers, Childe knows that when Albedo tells him something or asks something of him, what he’s being told is usually exactly what actually is true/intended. And if it’s not, Albedo is the kind of person to explain that it’s something he can’t tell him, which he understands, since he has his own share of things he cant share because of his Fatui alignment.

- there is going to be an interaction where at some point Childe is rambling about his family back home, and Albedo questions him about what they look like, a few days later handing him a surprisingly accurate drawing of his siblings - “I did have to try to check appearance with the traveler but unfortunately they weren’t in Mondstadt, do I do hope there aren’t too many inaccuracies” - Homeboy doesn’t cry(probably) but he gets really fucking close - cue socially isolated Alchemist boy misunderstanding and trying to apologize, which Childe responds to by just hugging him- because both of these boys are touch starved and honestly they fucking need it.

- and now that Childe knows Albedo doesn’t actually have a significant boundary on physical affection, as with most Childe ships... it happens a lot

- headcanon that Childe tends to just lean/rest his head on things like a dog. - additional headcanon that Albedo tends to have a need to keep his hands busy at all times - so just cue the scene where Albedo is working on experiments as usual, Childe watching from behind with his head rested on his shoulder and Albedo just absentmindedly playing with his hair with one hand while the other continues with his work

- also talking with Albedo gives Childe a a lot of harmless fun facts and he loves rubbing it in they’re faces when he gets to correct one of the other harbingers on something because of this

- Albedo does also have a tendency to overthink things though, and Childe’s more straight forward mindset gives a new perspective that helps him work around issues more often than he would have expected

- Also Albedo’s love language is totally words of affirmation (i will die on this hill, he doesn’t even realize he does it probably). So he wouldn’t hesitate to sincerely thank or praise Childe whenever he helps or does something good. And Childe is a Fatui, most of the praise he gets is from the subordinates who admire him yes, but also lowkey highkey fear him, and especially after all of Liyue knows he summoned Osial basically, he is pretty damn starved for affirmation and praise and wouldn’t even notice just how much until Albedo gave that to him. - like Childe is over here melting into a puddle of fluff and Albedo probably wouldn’t even realize what he’s doing, he’s just stating his observations out loud

- Childe and Albedo making a pinkie promise, Childe does the little Snezhnayan chant, and Albedo’s gaze just shifts slowly towards the nearby frozen lake in intense concern

- They go ice fishing with Klee who introduces Childe to fish blasting and it’s a whole new world of possibilities now. Albedo has many regrets.

- the harbingers have all basically figured it out by now and are concerned about security but mostly they just mock him for it - the Fatui stationed in Dragonspine however, probably know because 1 they’ve seen Childe with Albedo almost every time he visits, and Childe brags about it regularly - at this point a majority of them ship it and needless to say Albedo’s risk of death via Fatui has gone down significantly, and it’s had a surprisingly positive benefit on relations between the knights and Fatui overall

- the Knights took a bit longer to catch on, since Albedo isn’t exactly in Mondstadt all that often, but it’s the city of freedom, what are they gonna do? say no? again, they are concerned about security risks, but trust Albedo to recognize what should be withheld.

- also its canon that Childe enjoys cooking, and Albedo has a line about like... let me look it up rq- It’s his “Least Favorite Food” line which talks about how he doesn’t eat at restaurants cuz he has a small appetite and doesn’t want to waste food, which is unfortunate cuz then he has to spend time making his own food - idk its kind of small but i just saw it and thought it was kind of a cute detail

- Childe is a chaotic bean and we love him for it - on the other hand Albedo is more calm and patient, able to put up with this, and realistically, he has enough experience with Klee to not accidentally put him out or down or otherwise dampen his natural personality...... it’s just when the two of them get together that Albedo experiences true fear.

- Albedo: I have an idea for an experiment but the Jean has suggested that the risk is- - Childe: you should do it! - Albedo: -that the risk is too great and has disallowed me from continuing it - Childe: Oh? well she can’t tell me not to it, now can she? - Both: *mutual gremlin noises*

anyway... im probs gonna add more to this later.... I’m just really bad at coming up with ship dynamics- so my main point in this is to get people to realize that it possible and that it could work- because there is... nearly 0 material on it- and i just think it has the potential to be so wonderful but I do not have the potential to make it that way. Like it has the potential for so many different dynamics and iconic moments and theres so many reasonable ways they could meet and just so many possibilities and im just really hoping to show the ship to more people because, y’know, it’s rare and i want them to suffer from the lack of content too, because I’m just a kind person like that.

i would have put it under a cut if i could, but i have no idea how to do that so... apologies...

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lucianalight · 3 years ago

Note

We are always talking about how the MCU has a thing for bad fathers, but can we also talk about how it also has a thing for giving its female characters horrible traumatic childhoods....Like Natasha, Yelena and Melina and all the other girls (women) from the Red Room and also Gamora and Nebula have the worst childhoods out of all the MCU characters. Maybe the Red Room Girls even more so than Gamora and Nebula...idk, maybe its more about the fact that with Dreykov and the Red Room the implication of the way he thinks about girls and women in generall is far more horrifying than with what Thanos did to his "daughters"...Thanos took these two as little girls and raised them as assasins but it was more in a " I took over your home planet and saw you and thought you had spirit" kind of way. While Dreykov genuinly believed that girls are not worth much and are interchangeble because theres always more. I mean 90% of the girls dont even survive training. And the fact that they forcible remove all of their reproductive organs. And what Dreykov says to Nat at the end of BW: "I built myself an empire with the only natural ressource the world has enough of, girls."....As someone who hasnt read a lot of the comics and so only knows Movie canon I just find it a bit "weird" that while the males also have childhoods that were bad, it just doesnt come close to how most of the major females had horrifying childhoods....

This is a very interesting observation you made and I'd never thought about it. I tried to google to see if this is a sexist trope regarding women but I couldn't find anything.

I guess what matters to me in case of telling stories about women who were abused, is how the movie handles the arc around their abuse and what message it sends.

With Gamora and Nebula, their abuse wasn't because of their gender in the context of the story. But it's worth mentioning that as far as we know only these two girls were forced to fight each other. One was tortured and her body parts were replaced to make her better, and the other also has enhancements implanted in her body. Which reminds me of domestic violence by controlling fathers in a world that validates patriarchy, pitting women against each other, taking away their agency and never considering them worthy no matter how they try. And what the story did with their arc? Gamora was violently killed by her abuser and it was portrayed as a sign of true love. And as if that wasn't disgusting enough, she was replaced by another version of herself as if women are interchangeable if they look like each other. And an abused and tortured Nebula was killed by her future self, instead of helping killing her abuser.

Another character that I like to mention is Mantis. She was practically Ego's slave. And her trauma and abuse was treated as a joke. And empathetic woman being abused by an egotistical man.

But then we have Black Widow movie which in my opinion portrayed certain things very well. The scene where they're trafficking little girls, was honestly the most terrifying scene I've seen in MCU. It's probably one of the things every woman fears. And the way girls were treated in the Red Room and how Dreykov saw them, even his own daughter, is a metaphor for how women are seen and treated within a patriarchal world. disregarded and objectified. They're expected to always obey the patriarchy. Even their own reproductive organs aren't their own and patriarchy system decides how to control them.

And the movie doesn't put these abused women against each other(unlike Nebula and her 2014 version). Even when they're sent after Natasha and Yelena they aren't treated as enemy. The heroes and narrative treats them as the victims who need healing and their death is tragic. I specially think the ending fight between Natasha and Antonia(Taskmaster) was done really well. It was so easy to make her blame Natasha for her situation, instead there's an understanding and sympathy between them.

So while the Black Widow movie still easily redeems abusive parental figures, I think unlike the other examples in MCU it has done a great job in handling the arc surrounding the violence and abuse these women went through. And I don't think there is an issue in portraying violence and abuse, if the story ends with the message of healing, freedom and empowerment.

#abuse #patriarchy #violence against women #gamora #nebula #mantis #natasha romanov #black widow #anti infinity war #anti endgame #gotg2 #anon #messages

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theredsuzuran · 4 years ago

Text

Douma x reader - Innocence

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Took me a long time to upload a new content am so sorry for the delay I was really busy with school assignments therefore I cannot manage the time to write. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors on my behalf, I hope you enjoy.

Warning : Dark themes like gore, blood and violence, degradation and swearing, mature content.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moon shone brightly above the sky as it's light leak through the branches illuminating the famous building of the eternal paradise cult. A new set of followers rushed into the dwelling in hopes of fulfilling their selfish desires, diminishing their agonies and enriching their possessions. However a particular human with her tattered kimono seem not to be interested to convey anything although the people around her would die to witness even a glimpse of the charismatic leader as for now she was busy running along the wide long corridors

The sound of thumping footsteps echoed throughout the building as a herd of followers attempted on catching the miscreant who disrupted the peaceful atmosphere prevailing over the supreme cult. The already annoyed and frustrated people were all worked up to catch the energetic human who on the other hand have thoughts of escaping this place they called paradise. If only she was careful enough to notice her mother's strange behavior soon as they entered the place but how can you possibly blame an innocent little girl like her, or so she thought. Afraid she might lose sight of her treacherous mother who abandoned her just moments ago she desparety stumbled her way out although that didn't concerned her simple thinking process but that's exactly how complicated the situation was.

Turning one last time to look behind if those weird people were still following her or not when suddenly she bumped into a Tall muscular figure standing infront of her soft delicate frame she must have missed him approaching while focusing on looking behind. "Please just leave me alone!" The girl fumed coherently still overwhelmed by the amount of people rushing towards her like waves something that she was not accustomed with as for eighteen years she lived indoors interacting rarely with anyone and playing with dolls most of the time.

"Watch your tongue brat" one of the men standing beside the tall man spoke with disgust hinted in his voice. "Crouch down you insolent woman, where's your gratitude it's because of lord Douma's benevolence that you are still here or you'd be rotting in the street thanks to your mother", the people around her started whispering and murmuring behind her back but she was not bother since her senses were filled with newfound wrath how dare they insult your angel like mother? No longer able to contain your anger you shouted with tears "Then take me to my mother, I don't want to stay here alone".

"Your mother abandoned you here so shut up and deal with it, now move your way for master" the man grunted irritatedly motioning the other followers to grab her and take her away.

"No don't touch me" she wiggled under their grip rushing towards douma blocking him from entering the room by grabbing his arm tightly "I am not going anywhere until I know where my mother is" she cried loudly making the demon flinch with surprise, how pitiful the creature looked in his polychromatic eyes. He have seen many humans crying before him for obvious reasons which honestly have become his monotonous routine but somehow this girl acted quite weird being her age, interesting him enough to investigate. As he was about to speak the man beside him pushed the girl hashly making her lose her balance and fall on the wooden floor.

"How dare you touch master with your filthy hands bitch" he lift his hand to slap her tight in the face but someone grabbed his wrist just in time to save the girl from further humiliation.

"Silence" all the questioning glances, judging looks and whispering stopped at once as douma spoke nonchalantly making the latter shiver in regret.

"I am sorry douma sama" the man uttered in pure horror having no intentions to displease his beloved lord. "I was-"

"I don't want to see that happen again, understood?" He replied coldly still maintaining his wide smile as the previous chaos shifted into complete hush. The man lowered his head down with shame nodding silently. Douma averted his attention and glanced at the figure underneath making the girl jolt a bit but his once frightening demeanor changed into a cheerful and optimistic one in matter of second upon seeing her.

"Please take her to my chamber and treat her wounds" the man clapped with a wide grin plastered on his face. A group of female servants came rushing to help picking her up. The girl being too bewildered did not protested and simply follow his tone as if she was hypnotized by his neatly decorated persona.

The girl was immediately taken away without delay and as per douma he needed to attend his cult duties. First of all she was washed and changed into a beautiful kimono as soon as she stepped inside, then she was escorted into a room filled with antiques and lavish items which she have never seen. Her face lit up with fascination as she began venturing those decorative pieces.

"Looks like you have ease down a bit, good good" A familiar tone struck in her ears startling her a bit only to turn back and view the handsome cult leader although it was a bit strange because she did not heard anyone approaching.

"Aww did I scared you?" He laughed covering his face with golden fans.

"No I was just- you came in without a warning, I was taken aback" she explained blushing trying her best not to act immature to which douma laughed uncontrollably as he found this human's expression adorable say entertaining in his words.

"D-dont laugh at me" she pouted crossing her arms in the attempt.

"I am sorry (y/n), you really amuse me" he replied still grinning. However there was a moment of awkward silence between them as he uttered her name abruptly.

"I didn't tell you my name.." after a long pause she replied to him with a confuse look in her face.

"I know everyone's name who are living under my supervision including yours besides what kind of cult leader I am if I don't have basic information about my fellow followers. Oh look I have been talking to you without giving the chance to let you talk my bad" he laughed again waving his fans creating another awkward situation. Causing you to sweatdrop on his remark.

"Say (y/n) how old are you?" to which she replied enthusiastically "I am 8 years old and will turn 9 soon"

"Ah you don't look like one" douma grinned closing his eyes in the process.

"Yeah I get that a lot" she remarked shyly.

"Your mother is one of my followers" he continued

"Really?" her eyes sparked with hope as she approached douma with anticipation grabbing his arms for the second time starling him, she really like holding hands eh? he have experiences like that but somehow this girl made him feel different so he allowed her but then she stopped halfway through her words "I really miss her it's been a week since she left me here" her voice dropped with sadness.

Douma felt no sympathy for humans or anything as such, he have learned to fake his emotions from a very tender age eversince he was born to the extent that even seeing his mother killing her husband mercilessly failed to evoke feelings within. He clearly did not understand what she was feeling he just stared at her with a blank expression only to replace it quickly with a grim look even faking few tears. "(Y/n) chan you know its okay you will still have me" he patted the girl in an attempt to comfort her.

"Friends?" (Y/n) replied between her tears.

"If that's how you want us to be" douma smiled at her gently shocking himself for a second because he didn't think of smiling?

Things escalated soon after that incident, (y/n) was a kind and compassionate person from inside and out and in not time the cult followers started loving her presence. As often douma would let her accompany him and most of the time she stayed by his side following him everywhere and he didn't mind that at all moreover he appreciated her company. (Y/n) was like a fresh bud to him who depicted innocence and purity he loved spoiling her with expensive gifts yet she never showed signs of greediness and genuinely appreciated his thoughtfulness slowly forgetting the past life she was in and cherishing her friendship with douma. At first she was reluctant and didn't like getting so much attention but in the course of time she bonded better with everyone and was quite content with the life she was leading. As for douma he began to depend on (y/n) to the point that not seeing her face for even one day would make him go insane and he didn't understand why not like he want to because all he cared about was how she made him feel so many varieties of pleasant emotions he wish he could feel. Eating her was out of context.

However all good things must come to an end for he is someone to not rest in peace after the sin he have committed for centuries. Seeing douma paying her more attention, spoiling her with a ravish lifestyle and even letting her stay by his side all the time made some of his cult members terribly envious they wanted to punish her for taking their chances of stealing the spotlight. There was this one room that he forbade his followers to enter for obvious reasons and specifically for (y/n) because he didn't want to repeat the same mistake. This was exactly what they wanted (y/n) to do break the rules and Douma's trust. Like that there would be no more favouritism on her with others.

"Ah (y/n), there you are" one of the female member approached her one fine morning.

"Yes how may I help you?" She asked cheerfully

"Lord douma have asked for your presence in the forbidden room tonight and he said its urgent"

"Aren't we all prohibited to go inside"

"Oh (y/n) it's true master have arrived today and he wants your presence"

Upon hearing that news her heart elated with happiness, it has been two weeks since he last saw douma around and she missed him but something felt off about the whole situation douma always sees (y/n) first before tending his followers then why did he not come meet her did he not miss her like she did?

She was lost in her thoughts until she found two hands waving and snapping infort of her face.

"Don't be late, okay?" With that said the female hurried back into other room leaving (y/n) behind even though the situation seem kinda odd maybe douma was busy afterall.

At night (y/n) went into the restricted area. She stood infront of the shoji door in absolute dilemma debating whether or not to enter the room or go back. There was her desire of meeting douma on one hand and not breaking his trust by entering the room on the other. In the end she decided not to but as she was turning back she heard someone grunting in pain behind the closed doors being a compassionate person, she decided to open the door and enter into the darkness adjusting her eyes in the process, a pungent smell hit her nostrils making her cover her mouth and to her absolute terror the scene infront of her made her puke in disgust.

A pile of Mutilated bodies, mostly women laid around lifelessly on the blood stained tatami mattress. Many having no limbs, some headless and organs missing from their body as if someone had ate all of that. The whole room was a mess full of unfortunate people. She felt sick and began crawling down her way back from the corpses. However she felt a tight grip on her left foot upon looking down she witness the sight of a woman her intestines oozing out of her stomach begging for help. (Y/n) stood there perplexed unable to say anything chocking through tears.

"I told you not to come here, why?" (Y/n) turned her head violently to see douma standing in a distance his countenance cold and sinister evident that he was highly displeased upon seeing his innocent flower disobeying his instructions.

"It's not... like... what you see" (y/n) cried fearfully but douma didn't seem to buy it well in a blink of an eye she found herself in Douma's arms as he aggressively dragged her out of the room.

"What's going on douma" no word came out from the usual lively douma.

"It's hurting me your grip" no reply again to which she forcefully tried to stand still with all her strength. This time douma stopped his features hidden under his bangs making her unable to figure the expression he was carrying.

"Is this why douma forbade us to enter the room" no reply

"Are you responsible for murdering those innocent people?" No reply

"DOUMA" she shouted

"Why you want to join them?" Douma finally looked at her his eyes glowing dangerously proving his existence to be something unnatural. (Y/n's) eyes widen at his remarks as tears rolled down her visage.

"I hate you.." she murmured

"What?" He tilted his head letting his guard down a bit at her hurtful comments.

"I HATE YOU" she pushed douma roughly and flew from the place running deep into the forest for she knew who he was and what he is capable of doing. Tearing down she constantly reminisce the moments she shared but she cannot allow herself to sympathize his heinous crimes. Why is it that the people I love are always taken away from me? She thought. Exhausted from running she halted in order to catch her breath while glancing back to see if he was following, there was no one indeed so a sudden feeling of relief gushed in her body. However turning her head back she saw him standing inches apart from her face which made her shiver and fall onto the knees.

"Why are you running away from me (y/n)" he said apatheticly his head lowered at her level. She did not reply and stayed quite.

"Is it true that you don't love me after all the things I did for you?" Covering his face with one hand his eyes glowing under the moonlight a look of dejection written on his face. There was complete silence in the forest except the sound of rustling trees.

"Answer me" holding her face now firmly he growled making her flinch under his breath. In one last desperate attempt (y/n) tried to stab douma with a tree branch she found laying on the ground but unfortunately douma was faster and easily dodged the attack and in a swift motion he hit her with immense strength causing her fragile little body to tremble in pain as she coughed mucus mixed with blood.

"How foolish of you" he crouched down her height staring intensely at the quivering figure of the miserable girl. As for (y/n) her body ached but more was the tightness in the chest that she was experiencing in the moment.

He pulled her by the hair roughly making her scream in pain although at this point all she could manage with her cracking voice were inaudible screams.

"Why did you disobey me? (Y/n)..." who knew beneath that friendly kind face was hiding a undeniably deadly and calculative demon and at this point it was clear for her that he was anything but human.

"Who are you?" these few words manage to escape from her shaky lips in between low grunts.

"I am the leader of the eternal paradise cult"

"Wrong" to which he tightened his grip making her shriek again.

"You humans are so dumb believing in the existence of primordial deities where in reality its just a myth, a fairytale, created for pleasuring the sufferings of mere human. Being superior than you mortals I wanted to make these pitiful existence happy and that's why I was born and what you saw there" his lips curved into a cheeky smile revealing his deadly fangs creeping the shit out of the already scared girl. "I eat them so that they can always be with me and attain salvation" a sinister laughter escape from his mouth as he covered it with his golden fans. (Y/n) unable to process the new sets of information knots formed in her stomach making her sick in the guts.

"I ate your mother too, oh she was ungrateful after all the things I did to her just like you" protruding her eyes with pure shock she felt her veins popping out and blood boiling in pure rage.

"You are a monster, you think your stupid morals would persuade people to think like you do, I despise you douma I thought we were friends and you took away the one I cherished the most?"

"You think your mother loved you?" Douma snapped. The duality of this was man was insane, all the things he does or says are plastic.

"She never cared for your life, you want to know why? I will tell you since you insist" douma dragged her out of forest holding a fistful of her hair tightly inflicting great discomfort to the girl while he continued with his harsh statements and deliberate insults.

"You were just a burden, behaving like a fucking child with the alluring body of yours"

"No my mother promised me..she would protect me.. you are lying"

"While you were crying everyday inside my shrine that lowly woman enjoyed her life indulging in adultery with various cult members leaving her sick husband and mentally retarded daughter in the dark" every word he uttered spread vemon into her ears.

"Still she wanted more and more and more, what a greedy whore" douma continued.

"Do you know how much difficult it was for me to control myself around you? While you sway your hips and act innocently making those hungry men lust over you, how much dumb can you be?"

"What do you mean I don't understand.. douma"

"I did everything I can for you yet you remain ungrateful, disrespectful? Well guess its runs in your blood and I thought you are innocent but it turns out that you are just like the rest of them, naive"

Her eyes widened with every hurtful remarks he made about her and she did not understand why she felt that way shouldn't she be resentful towards him for killing her beloved mother but here she is weeping constantly because douma was treating her like he never did before.

"But that's fine (y/n) I can not bring myself to hurt you I love you and we shall always be together whether you like it or not" nothing reached in her ears anymore as her body grew numb. Her eyes shut as she carried the unbearable pain in her heart slowly loosing consciousness and remaining sanity.

It would have been easier if she died but alas a mere human like her is doomed at his mercy.

#douma #douma kny #douma x reader #kny x reader #kny douma #demon slayer #fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #upper moons #upper moon 2

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cuchillx · 3 years ago

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an ended relationship shouldn’t be a public trial with friends as the jury, specially if only one person is the one sharing the details and if the friends were from both sides. I guess not though, if they’re convinced they understand everything without being open to hear it from my side

relationships are complex and rarely there’s the good guy vs the bad guy, it’s more nuanced than that and talking badly or ghosting about your friend’s ex partner is not direct support to your friend - there’s a person with feelings on the other side that is also sad/angry/gutted that things didn’t work out. I don’t let my friends insult my ex-partners, im not trying to have anyone on my side because there are no sides to two people splitting up, there’s two grown adults with unmet needs and a bunch of feelings left, most of them unwanted, and a set of tools to make it better that often will feel insufficient - i want to learn from this experience and i said my apologies and my thank you’s and as long as my friends validate my feelings but also give me feedback on how i can better myself im good. I dont need them to depict my former partner as a demon or make him feel like one. That’s unfair

It’s extremely uncomfortable having a crowd sharing your bad habits and mistakes within a relationship because probably they’re true, although its not fair it is that way without the whole context, in an exacerbated way and most importantly, these details were never shared with me. I don’t care what the other person says I’m not trying to dismiss anything except one thing which is that they were very avoidant of conflict and they rarely shared what they didn’t like about me, they just decided to grow distant for a while and break up out of nowhere with me. That was real. And it was fair, people can decide to study you in intimacy and not share or give you feedback since it is exhausting to do it. And decide that you’re not right for them. I had to try real hard to come to terms with this but I have accepted that I needed to respect their decision even if it felt unfair and I should not impose judgement on this since its what they needed and my last act of love was to be understanding of this.

But it’s not fair that all those details are shared with others when you were never given an honest and straightforward chance to make it better. My neglected version is most likely, an asshole since it doesn’t know how to be caring and gentle with your needs.

im trying to do what’s right and respect what the other person asked me to do which is to just stay friends and i haven’t stirred up anything in spite of receiving a really insensitive and nasty anon, friends blocking me but still stalking me (i see disappearing likes), others just ghosting me, friends that you presume are partners being stalked (why? If you want to know if i moved on just ask me. I thought i didn’t interest you in that way anymore) unresponsiveness when i ask when will i get my things back, hostility every time i ask in a friendly way about it, unreasonable petitions, defensiveness instead of opening up dialogue about any unresolved issues. In fact, i don’t only act on feelings or friends advices, all my decisions and how i execute them have been approved by my therapist to make sure I’m not being unreasonable and unconsidered. Even when I’m received with it i still breathe and just let it slide

Why would you be so rude to me because of any unresolved business? Believe me I want it to be done too, I wish I could forget a lot of people decided they didn’t want to respect me after 7 years of friendship and how I just wanted to be happy with you and that I couldn’t do it right. It’s not on you at all, those feelings are my business but I’m not the one trying to make it harder for the other person. No matter how defensive you are and how many people you side with you, it’s will not make up for whatever went wrong and it will not create the version of me that you wanted or needed from me. I would’ve gladly been it if you were willing to share it with me and we would’ve worked out the communication but that doesn’t exist anymore. Let’s just be adults and stay on our lanes. I’m trying, I refuse to be petty, rude or pushy. I lost so many things in this process, I would not have done this just to screw with you I promise. I just wanted to go back to where i felt most loved at some point

I’m just posting this here because once again, I don’t try to get “my version” out there with anyone, I look for emotional aid in friends and that’s it. But I need to vent somewhere. Somewhere healthy. If you’re reading this and you’re not a mutual, then I’m not sure what you’re looking for or what point you’re trying to get across. Do you want to see if im miserable? Moved on because ‘i didnt care’? If im dumb and post dumb stuff? More stuff from me to share with the group so you can talk to them about it, pick it apart and find mistakes from me? I’ve been quiet about this this whole time just to not give you anything else to talk about. Guess I just gave you new stuff to share with the group

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fresh-prince-of-denmark · 4 years ago

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New Dawn Fades — Literary References Analysis Part 4: The Id, the Ego, the Superego

Cyberpunk Spoiler Warning

Here’s part four of me going through all the endings and looking for the literary references in each of the endings, which I believe allude to what happens to V/Johnny, possibly in future DLC. If you haven’t read my other posts, you should read them here (Johnny’s Mikoshi poem, V’s Mikoshi Poem, The Star ending) first since we’re gonna loop back to them later.

New Dawn Fades was such a pain in the ass; because Johnny is such an art hoe, I found three different poems/stories scattered around. Not only that, but two of them are translated from Polish, and one of them us from Ovid’s The Metamorphoses. I studied English literature so…forgive me if this is super surface-level. Also, stuff gets lost in translation, so the original meaning sometimes gets lost. If Polish literature is anyones niche, please teach me a thing two, but all I can do now is my best! But from what I could tell, damn…paints a pretty depressing picture. Let’s start with the two Polish writers first:

Bolesław Leśmian, "Why so many candles...”

Why so many candles, these faces above me?

No more harm shall ever meet my body.

Everyone is standing - while here alone I lie -

Grieving, feigning. One must be true when one must die.

And so, buried under these wreathes of leaves, I lie -

Solemnly - Agelessly - Solitarily.

Death, gone silent, once again rushes to my head,

Though by now I know all my comprehension is dead.

How I loathe to become accustomed to this grave,

To be what I once was - that is all I crave.

This one is…yikes. Depressing. As I talked about in previous posts, V’s poem is more pessimistic: nothing we do matters, we’re all just dust in the wind, you know, the good stuff. Johnny’s poem has a very different stance; art makes us immortal, and we can change the world, etc. With this…Johnny seems to have given his larger-than-life attitude up in favor of V’s resignation that life sucks. Much like Prufrock in V’s poem, Johnny is lying “Solemnly - Agelessly - Solitarily.” Almost as if he didn’t want V’s body, not as a selfless gesture…but because he has grown accustom to his previous form. In Johnny’s version of Alt’s poem, it almost seems as if he embraces being a construct — the form of immortality it, and his legacy, grants him (remember all that hokey about being a golden bird to sing his message to the youth?). Blackwall was a kind of death Johnny knew — yet now:

“How I loathe to become accustomed to this grave,

To be what I once was - that is all I crave.”

Interesting. We never find out where Johnny is going when he leaves Night City, but it makes me wonder. Is he truly starting anew? Or hoping to fix what went wrong?

In the next room, we find another poem, this one an excerpt from Labyrinth by Wisława Szymborska:

So this way or that,

Or no, the other,

By ear or by your gut,

By your wits or by shortcut,

By any means necessary,

Cutting crooked corners.

Past whatever row in a row

Of corridors and gates,

Quickly, in the meantime

Your time grows short,

From one place to another

To one of many still open,

Of darkness and plight

But also delight, held just ajar,

Where there's joy, though sorrow

Lies well-nigh nearby,

And elsewhere, somewhere,

Wheresoever and whereabout,

Fortune in misfortune

Like a parenthetical parenthesis

Acceptance of it all

And suddenly - a fall

I’m a little shaky on the meaning behind this one. My immediate response is to compare it to the poem found in The Star — which contains a piece from The Marriage Between Heaven and Hell by William Blake. The overarching use of this poem, by my interpretation, is an explanation for what the Blackwall is: hell. But not hell how most would perceive it. In fact, according to Blake, hell isn’t so bad. Our views of heaven and hell, good and evil, are wrong. Everyone contains both good and bad within them, and neither is wrong, simply two opposites; between conformity and rebellion, art and obedience. If we were to look at it this way, V would most likely belong in “Heaven,” the world of the obedient, those who play by the worlds rules (at least, in the beginning of the story, before Johnny influences them toward the rebel path), while Johnny represents “Evil,” and would belong to Hell. In some dialogue choices, Johnny will even state that he no longer believes he is a human, and is in fact code, no longer belonging in the world of the living. In this scenario, both have found themselves where they don’t belong. Not only that — but one is supposed to be a healthy mix of so-called “Good” and “Evil.” The “Soul,” and “Body,” are one, not meant to be separated. Uh oh. The tone of this poem in Johnny’s context just seems so…lost, to me. Someone who found their other half, their perfect foil, a soul and body as one…and now it’s gone. What does one do after such a loss?

And finally, the most grim of the three stories: Ovid’s The Metamorphoses. Specifically, Book III, Narcissus and Echo. This one most likely has the greatest significance; not only is it a shard you can pick up, but an open copy of the book can be found in Johnny’s hotel room, drawing further attention to it.

If you haven’t read it, let me give you a quick and dirty summary:

At the beginning of the story, Narcissus’ mother, Liriope, asks the prophet Tiresias if her son will live to see old age, which he replies “only if he does not know himself.” One day when Narcissus is 16, he is out hunting when he finds a mountain Nymph named Echo. Echo, as one might guess, was cursed by Hera and can only repeat what is said back to her. You know. Like an echo. Echo falls in love with Narcissus at first sight and follows him throughout the forest, waiting for him to speak so she can communicate with him. Narcissus eventually gets separated from his hunting group, and calls out for them, which Echo…well, echos. Eventually Echo reveals herself and Narcissus freaks out, telling her basically he’d rather die than be with her. She hides in a cave and pines until she whithers away from hunger, and only her voice remains.

Many other nymphs fall for Narcissus because apparently he’s a straight up snack, but he rejects all of them. Apparently someone gets so salty about it, they summon the Goddess of Vengeance to do something about it. She leads him to a crystal clear pool, in which he is able to see his reflection. Remember the thing about knowing oneself? Yeah…At first, Narcissus thinks the reflection is a different person and falls in love. He smiles, the reflection smiles, so it must like him back, right? Eventually he reaches to touch it, and realizes that it’s him. He freaks out, and much like Echo, stays by his reflections side until he withers away. Having a total meltdown, he cries out “Alas!” which is echoed, by well, Echo. Her voice lived on, and she watches him die as he calls “Farewell, dear boy. Beloved in vain.” Once again, Echo repeats this. Narcissus dies and all the thirsty hoes make a pyre to burn him, but when they go looking for him they find the Narcissus (flower) instead (nooo...dont transform into a flower, you’re so sexy ahaha).

So what does this mean for Johnny/V? Well, two main things pop out to me: transformation, and reflections. Much like Echo and Narcissus are reflections of each other, V and Johnny reflect each other. As @ellitira pointed out in my analysis of the Star, V and Johnny constantly reflect each other. One of the most obvious ways is their literal reflection; if you look in a mirror during a relic malfunction, you’ll see Johnny, not V. But scenes are reflected as well; the first and last time V meets Johnny, they grab him by the shoulder from behind to get his attention as he turn to face them. The first time Johnny and V have a civil conversation, they’re sitting at a table in Tom’s Diner, Johnny’s foot on the table. This mimics their conversation in Mikoshi with Alt. Their conversation about taking a bullet for one another in the Pista Sofia where Johnny is sitting backwards on a chair while V is on the ground is also repeated moments later, as Johnny and V have their final conversation about who will stay and who will go with Alt. Johnny also mentions that he spent his first few weeks in NC laying in bed, staring at the ceiling fan. When he awakens in New Dawn Fades, what is he doing? Staring at the ceiling fan…in Pacifica, not far from the Pista Sofia. The boy who he gives the guitar to is even wearing V’s “favorite shirt”…the one we see them wearing in the first scene they’re introduced. There’s probably loads more, so feel free to share if you find any more. If you want to know more about why this is significant, make sure to read about V’s version of Alt’s poem.

So why do these reflections/echos matter? Well, what does one do with a reflection? Reflect. Johnny begins to examine himself through V, and he begins to realize he doesn’t like what he sees. If V calls him the man who saved her life, he’ll respond with “you have no idea how badly I want that to be true.” He tries his best to right his wrong only after this conversation with V, not only in Burning Love and Chippin’ In, but in other ways too. For example, it’s Johnny’s idea to call V’s loved ones to say goodbye on the roof scene, because “he wished that he had had a chance to.” Because of V, he grows, changes, and becomes a better person, just as much if not more as he seems to change V. As he leaves V’s grave, he even states that he has changed; that he’s wiser now, and won’t make the same mistakes. He states he won’t dwell on what happened, but somehow I doubt that, considering everything above.

The other theme of Narcissus and Echo is of transformation; after all, metamorphosis actually means "to change or transform.” Echo becomes, well, and echo, and Narcissus becomes a flower. V and Johnny also transform; not only physically between engram and human, but they transform one another. Both of them fall in love, and neither will move on. Echo falls in love with Narcissus, and Narcissus falls in love with his reflection. Because they refuse to transform the way they feel, they must die and transform physically. So who represents who in this scenario? In a way, Johnny is both. Johnny is a bit, well, narcissistic. He’s self-absorbed in his flashbacks, and adored by countless fans, yet ignores them in favor of his own company. He thinks everything is about him (Alt’s death, Samurai, etc.) and is willing to die for his beliefs. He is also constantly reflecting on himself through V. However, what really kills him is losing Alt; she tells him not to follow her (much like Narcissus tells Echo to leave him alone). He does anyway, and avenging her leads to his demise.

What’s especially sad about this is the way Johnny views transformation; he is very concerned with the idea of one’s individual identity, and hates the idea of turning into something you’re not. He despises that he’s going to turn V into himself by force. He hates dolls because he sees their behavior chip as something that changes them into something they’re not. He’s scared of V going to Blackwall not because it’s death, but because they “won’t be the same.” I don’t think Johnny ever wanted V’s body; again, not as a courtesy, but because it’s not him. After all, he could have just let nature take its course and let himself re-write their psyche, but instead he actively tries to save them as best he can. If V chooses to let him have their body, he hardly seems happy about it; especially compared to how happy he seems to see that part of him will live on in the way V refuses to give up should they choose to live on. By taking V’s body, he is no longer himself; rebel, rocker-boy, legend, and the guy who promised to save V’s life. Johnny in A New Dawn has lost his entire sense of self, his entire new and improved identity; one that learned from his mistakes and became a better person because of V. Johnny has The Tower tattooed on his arm, the card of (often painful) transformation and change. Yet this is what Johnny is most afraid of; not death, or even the not-so-bad sort-of hell that is Blackwall. He’s afraid of losing himself, and by losing V, he has lost a part of himself. The part of himself that was supposed to be a better person; who was supposed to save V’s life.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk2077 #cyberpunk 2077 v #cyberpunk spoilers #v cyberpunk #johnny silverhand #new dawn fades #my posts

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mithliya · 5 years ago

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ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server).

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr.

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server.

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia:

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic.

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present

“straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic.

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady):

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently.

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person.

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’.

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently?

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar.

#whitefem racism #long post #liberal lesbophobia #hetfems #hetfem server #probablyaterf #black-diaspora #girlfrommars #radfemkitten

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bombardthehq · 4 years ago

Text

Convention and Meaning: Derrida and Austin Jonathan Culler, 2008 / read July 20

for Saussure things got their meaning by differnetation, contrasts

but this cant give a complete account: if you say 'Could you lift that box?' it might be a request, an abstract question of capability, or a rhetorical question about how hopelessly heavy it is

so where does it get the meaning?

we risk going back to saying that the meaning resides in the consciousness of the speaker

but a structuralist would ask: what makes it possible for them to mean these several things at once?

so we account for the meaning of 'utterances', different from sentences, by analyzing a different system: that of Speech Acts

so Austin is thus repeating Saussure's move: describing the system that makes 'signifying events' (parole) possible

Austin wont let us locate meaning in the speaker's mind - there isnt an 'inner act of meaning' which goes on when you mean something

it gets its meaning through certain conventions -- if I say 'I promise to return this to you', indicating an item I will borrow, you understand that I am making a promise, but when I just wrote it you understood that this is not a promise bc it lacks the context

so Austin offers a structural explanation of meaning which avoids 'logocentric premesis' -- but in his discussion of it he reintroduces the problems he just overcomes. This is what Derrida tries to deal with in Signature, Event, Context

in How To Do Things With Words, Austun wants to get over some narrow views of language his milieu had; to have a theory adequate to statements which had been discarded as meaningless or 'psuedo-statements' for not fitting their critera [which were: either a description, or a statement of fact - and could be either true or false]

he distinguishes two types: constitutive statments (descriptions of statements of fact), and performative statements (which enact what they say)

there is a surprising conclusion here: if I say, 'I affirm that the cat is on the matt', I'm performing my affirmation. But a crucial aspect of performatives is that they can have the explicitly performative part removed: 'I will pay you tomorrow' is still a promise. But removing the 'I affirm...' gives us, 'the cat is on the mat' - I still affirm it, performatively - but the statement I make is also an emblematic constitutive statement

Culler notes that Austin's argument here is a 'splendid' instance of the deconstructionist 'supplementarism' here, in its inversion of the old formula: what had been seen as merely secondary or inessential becomes the most primary -- rather than performatives being secondary to constitutives, the constitutives are a special case of the performative

"The conclusion that a constative is a performative from which one of various performative verbs has been deleted has since been adopted by numerous linguists." [how used is this in linguistics?]

this allows us to solve the problem of a single statement having multiple meanings: its actually a performative statment from which the performative has been deleted. 'I ask you to lift the box', 'I inquire if you could lift the box', 'I despair at the box's weight'

Austin doesnt argue this and would be skeptical of it; he argues that illocuctionary force (meaning) does not necessarily derive from grammatical structure

he instead proposes a distinction between locutionary and illocuntionary acts

so when I say 'the chair is broken' I perform the 'locutionary' act of making an utterance, and the 'illocutionary' act of 'stating, warning, complaining...', whatever performance

linguistics accounts for the meaning of the locutionary act; speech act theory accunts for the meaning (or 'illocutionary force') of an utterance

explaining illocutionary force means explaining the conventions that make it possible

we might find out what these conventions are by looking at how these performatives can go wrong, might not actually enact the promised performance [I think eg. a bigamous marriage would prevent the 'I pronounce you man and wife' from really marrying the couple]

so Austin doesnt treat failure as something alterior to performatives, accidental, not part of how they really work, but an integral part of them - performances can go wrong -- something cannot BE a performative unless it CAN go wrong [continental philosophers like him for this reason: he really grasps the 'negative' (Culler puts it in these terms later)]

this accords with semiotics: a statement couldn't signify if it couldnt be said falsely

Austin argues that performing acts - like marrying or betting - must be described as something like 'saying certain words' rather than performing some inward action which the words reflect

...enter Derrida

Derrida argues that despite saying this, Austin reintroduces this inward action as the force of the performance

Austin, worrying about jokes etc., perhaps because it would involve a description of an inward act of meaning, says that only 'serious' speech acts can be analyzed, but doesnt argue for it. He actually puts 'serious' in scare quotes, as if the argument itself was a joke [Deconstructionists love that stuff...]

so after remarking that philosophers wrongly excluded utterances which werent true or false, he excludes utterances which aren't serious. Instead of arguing for it as a 'rigorous move within philosophy', its a customary exclusion 'on which philosophy relies'

later on he describes these 'unserious' uses as 'parasitic on' the normal use; so Austin introduces a new constitutive & supplementary distinction, after getting away from one

Searle defended this to Derrida saying that we ought not *start* our investigation by considering these parasitic discourses [we feel, and have perhaps been primed to feel by Culler, that this misses the point that Austin makes his intervention by uncovering the way these 'supplementary' excess cases are core to the working logic of speech acts, and this might be another such case - although we might not feel it to be necessarily the case that *all* supplementary things are likewise constitutive, although perhaps Derrida 1. argues that *this* supplement is constituive, but also 2. that all supplements are constitutve of what they are supplemental to, as a matter of a thing being a thing, elsewhere]

actually Derrida's case is moreso that setting aside these uses as secondary from the beginning is begging the question; the theory has to be able to account for them -- Austin deals with an 'ideal language' here, not the one really used (which includes uses by actors on a stage, in jokes... Derrida here appears as an ordinary language philosopher!)

So Searle argues that its parasitic because its not possible for an actor to make a promise in a play if we didnt make promises in real life; but Culler says, why see it this way around? Perhaps it is only possible to make a promise in real life if it could be made in a play. For Austin, an utterance is only possible because there are formuals and procedures that we can follow to do so - so for me to do it irl, there have to be iterable procedures that could be acted out...

so Derrida asks: could my performance succeed if it didn't conform to an iterable model? -- for it to succeed there needs to be a model, a representation, and the actors representation of it is just such a thing

~footnote: some commentary on Searle's disagreement... he brings up a use/mention distinction - performatives use utterances, while actors just mention them. Derrida argues that this distinction requires us to go back to making use of intentionality & the inner act that meaning depends on, what we were trying to get away from: if I mention something instead of use it, it can only be because I intend to mention it...

Culler gives an example that is very ambiguous w/r/t use/mention - "His colleagues have said his work was 'boring' and 'pointless' " -- have I merely mentioned the words boring and pointless (since I'm just quoting others who have said it) or have I used them (since I do imply that his work is really boring and pointless)? To tell you would have to decide which one I intended to express.~

so, to repeat Austin's move on the core/marginal distinction that Austin reintroduces: the so-called serious performance is actually a special case of the parasitic - its an instance or reenactment of this iterable representation

so imitation is a condition of possibility of signification

eg., for there to be a recognizable original 'Hemmingway style', there must be some style which can be imitated, repeated, etc. [This seems very convincing to me]

so, the performative is from the outset structured by this possibility for iterability, citation, performance-of...

the reason that Austin reintroduces this flawed core/supplementary model is to solve a problem for speech act theory:

if you explicate all the conditions that make a particular performative possible (which is the goal of speech act theory), say-- 'I pronounce you married' is perforative only if there is a marriage license, a licensed officiary, etc. - one can *always* imagine a further scenario that would cause the performative to fail (say, they're all actors in a play...)

Austin tries to resolve this by ruling out instances where the speaker is 'not serious' - but this requires us to appeal to the intentions, etc...

so to make performatives and 'performance' coextensive is to maintain a version of the theory that can really discard intention etc., but at the cost of being unable to explicate the conditions of possibility of a given performative - because it gets its meaning only via context, and the number of contexts is infinite

... [skipping a nice section that we dont really need to note]

for Austin, a signature is the equivalent in writing of a performative utterance, 'I hereby...'

on this idea, Derrida ends Signature, Event, Context, by writing his name twice, and indicating one is a counterfeit of the other. The joke being: is this counterfit, citational second signature not a signature, because he wasnt being serious? or does it function as a signature, because a signature is signing your name?

the other implication: which of the two signatures is the 'real' one? you cant tell in writing -- 'the effects of the signature depend on iterability'

so contrary to Austin, who holds that the signature is an indication of some inner intention (assent to an agreement, etc), the signature can only funtion if it is repeatable, iterable... "The condition of possibility of [its] effects is simaultaneously ... its condition of impossibility, or the impossibility of their rigorous function." [ie. to be possible, it must also be imitable, repeatable... theres a bit of what 'difference & repetition' is engaging w/ here --

interesting to comapre w/ Deleuze here - for Derrida, something has to be repeatable in order to be at all because its just a repeatable expression of conditions of possibility. This means its negative is prefactored into its conditions of possibility -- the price of having a signature is that the signature can be counterfeited.

Deleuze is somewhat allergic to 'conditions of possibility', and also wants to find a system where the negative doesn't exist. I'm not sure how he might argue w/ Derrida here. Perhaps he would feel that it is the difference between each signature which makes it repeatable... but that doesnt really make sense to me & is probably an overly literal reading. It's possible the two only disagree in terminology here - what Derrida would call the negative is just another form of difference for Deleuze. I'm not sure.]

Culler talks about how signatures can be made without the signatory's presence, in the case of machines signing checks automatically, so that wages are paid without being physically cashed in

he identifies 'logocentrism' as seeing these sorts of things as secondary to or parasitic on direct speech where the speaker's intentions are carried out

really, such cases could not occur if they didnt belong to the structure of the signing (etc.) already

so Derrida says that intention will not disappear from a good analysis, but it will no longer govern the entire 'system of utterance'... so while I intend to mean something and thats why I speak, the act of speaking itself introduces a gap between my intention and my words. My attention is the reason I structure things the way I do, why I make use of certain conventions, etc., but my intention is not accessible in the words I use (just as we might say, if I make a necklace, my intention for the necklace to be a gift for my niece is not a property of the necklace itself; the meaning/illocutionary force of a speech act is the necklace here - a speech act is given its meaning by the conventions it uses to generate a meaning, and I employ those conventions to try and say what I intend to say)

Culler introduces the unconscious here - often we say things and do things for reasons we are unconcious of, so intention is even a little more deflated. My reasons for saying something are not entirely conscious intentions which are transparent and accessible to reflection, but a 'structuring intentionality' that includes implications that never "entered my mind"

"Intentions are not a delimited content but open sets of discursive possibilities-what one will say in response to questions about an act." [nice idea]

"The example of the signature thus presents us with the same structure we encountered in the case of other speech acts: (1) the dependence of meaning on conventional and contextual factors, but (2) the impossibility of exhausting contextual possibilities so as to specify the limits of illocutionary force, and thus (3) the impossibility of controlling effects of signification or the force of discourse by a theory, whether it appeal to intentions of subjects or to codes and contexts." [a summary of the whole argument]

what this means is that meaning can never be *exhaustively* determined, but we are still left with tools to examine speech acts and how they work, etc.

Culler gives a nice defense that meaning being indeterminable (or not precisely, finally, exhaustively determinable) does not mean that no analysis can or should be done by comparing it with Godel's incompleteness theorem in mathematics: "the impossibility of constructing a theoretical system within which all true statements of number theory are theorems does not lead mathematicians to abandon their work"

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skywillsometimeswrite · 4 years ago

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pls tell me abt ur ocs

*looks at my giant list of OCs* ...where do i start?

Welp I have an idea that I’ve been wanting to discuss for a while and kind of did during Nonbinary Week and I will gladly use this as an excuse to talk about it so thank you very much anon (genuinely thank you I didn’t actually expect to get any asks about my OC when I reblogged that sjkfhfljh)

I’ll put this under a read more so if people aren’t interested they dont have to hear me blabbing on about my characters

I’m going to be talking about 5 characters but I’m not gonna like… go too deep into them cause that involves delving into some more personal matters that if I were to ever fully share them I would need to give each of them their own posts. And they also have what I call 3 arcs… which again, I would have to discuss in their own posts.

These characters are who I call my “Editors.” They are characters that have never faded, so to speak, like other characters do, and were created as I went through pivotal parts in my life. When I was younger I attributed them to helping write my stories and I’ll talk about that a little bit, but I’ve also formed this narrative around them as they have existed. So right here I’ll discuss their first arcs the most.

(I’d like to point out since it’s important to the overall narrative that their collective stories exist inside my own mind or creative space. As such, since fandom is an important part of my creative upbringing, all of my Editors save for one (kinda) have a tie to one specific fandom but can span across multiple. They aren’t self-inserts, but they are OCs that existed within a canon of one or another fandom piece that also directly connect to their own stories.)

So let’s start with Sarasona Nova. She is the “Original” Editor (she technically isn’t but that isn’t here nor there right now). As she stood in the place of my persona for many, many years she has earned her spot to be one of the heads of storytelling. I contribute mostly plotlines and ideas to her because more often than not, if it makes sense it comes from her. She is the level headed one out of any of the Editors. She starts out pretty sweet, before any of the other Editors come along, but then she has her first true experience with fandom and she becomes very negative and critical towards it. The only reason she offered any story ideas for fanfics back then was because all of my motivation was towards it. This evolves further in the story into full on obsession with controlling stories and characters and everything having to be exact and perfect.

At first this doesn’t cause problems, not even when the second Editor comes into the picture: Dream/Dimension Ruler, or DR as I refer to him (his name has always been fuzzy). When DR first came into existence his purpose was to create settings and scenes for Sara’s stories to play out in, as well as be this caretaker almost for the out-of-use characters. He and Sara work together on a lot of things and are both fairly excitable people when it comes to creating, but Sara is more focused on the current story while DR is looking at the potential in others. He is perfectly fine with his role until he wants to start creating and telling his own stories, which Sara shoots down. She writes the stories, she’s the leader, she tells him what to make. Over time, this really breaks DR down and he slowly becomes less eccentric and enthusiastic in his creations or his personality. He stops looking after characters not being used, and over time they do start to fade into nonexistence. A character that hasn’t been totally neglected notices DR’s vulnerable state and decides to use this to her advantage.

This is Manipulator, or Mani as I call her. Mani is a character that was created for a specific fanfic that actually eventually gave way to a larger original story and left her’s almost abandoned. She didn’t even have a name. At this point characters were supposed to figure themselves out, name and personality wise unless they were able to be fit into a story where things were figured out for them. Since Mani didn’t have a story anymore, she was kind of left on the wayside, no matter how often she bothered Sara for something, anything, to work with or do. Mani decided she wanted to be an Editor, maybe even the lead Editor. DR had been trying to help her and Mani decides to help him in return, by trying to take down Sara and everything she’s ever created. Through her namesake, she manages to become an Editor in direct rivalry to Sara. She became responsible for the conflict in stories, becoming the main antagonist of Sara’s story.

And her biggest contribution to this was through getting rid of the Editor Glitch. Glitch was this “broken” character that came into existence. Sara was confused by them, asking them their name, and didn’t get anything in return. Sara thought they were a mistake or something, since most characters usually have something to go off of to begin with but Glitch had nothing. After a while, it was revealed that Glitch was the Editor for characters and their creation. They were every character at once in every story while they themself were barely sentient. They both understood emotions and didn’t comprehend them at all, wanted to save the world while also wanting to end it, could kill without hesitation while also not being able to hurt a fly. This caused them to be almost robot-like, where they knew every single possible reaction to a given scenario and would choose the safest option by not reacting or reacting in what they would assume to be the most logical manner. Mani manages to trick them and trap them into a specific fandom that only had one main story that kept changing. They got caught up in this ever changing story and eventually became a character themselves in it, and them fully taking over a character for themselves became a part of the story.

That eventually leads into the second arc of their current stories. But amidst the third arc the last (current) Editor arrives in the form of Skylar Roch. Sky pretty much came out of nowhere in context of characters, and was practically shoved into the role of Lead Editor, much to Sara’s dismay and Mani’s amusement. Sky does their best to help the other Editors, including Sara, with all their issues but is filled with their own as they try to juggle this responsibility that they were thrust into without any knowledge of how to do it. Sara is resentful towards Sky and tries to point out that she should still be Lead Editor, meanwhile Mani, DR, and Glitch are all pointing out the awful stuff she did to them as Lead Editor.

Eventually, they do get a happy ending. At least… currently. Their stories continue on for as long as I live, so we’ll see, I suppose.

This is a lot longer than I meant for it to be and I have barely scratched the surface of these characters and this story. Maybe one day I’ll write it and post it, alongside the fanfics that go hand in hand with them. But for now, that day is not today.

Still, thank you tons for giving me an excuse to babble on about these guys!

#this is 1.3k words #because i have no chill #sky asks #oc:mani #oc:sarasona #oc:dr #oc:glitch #oc:sky #work:me against myself #Anonymous

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dvp95 · 5 years ago

Text

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 4

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e (eventually)

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 3,122 for this chapter (15,775 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

i want to die

Aw, what happened? Did you give SugarScape spoilers?

Despite Dan's horrible mood, that makes him snort. no you buffoon 1 sugarscape has been dead for yrs, much like how i would like to be 2 i don't say spoilers ever 3 it's WORSE

I may be a little out of the loop. You gonna make me guess? I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was.

phil, Dan sends on its own for emphasis. i touched my coworkers tit on live telly and now i can't look her in the fucking eye

Jaime hadn't actually cared much. She'd laughed at him, made some jokes about how Dan's spatial awareness hadn't developed yet, and then moved on with grace. Meanwhile, Dan had been having a mild panic attack on his side of the sofa because all he'd meant to do was brush a distracting piece of lint off Jaime's shoulder and, somehow, drastically missed.

It was all of ten seconds of his life, and Dan is still freaking out about it. He's been pacing his hotel room since they got back, hasn't even bothered changing out of the nice shirt he'd worn for the interview.

Like accidentally? Phil finally replies on Dan's third lap of the room.

no phil i need to grope people on camera to finish. what kind of person do you think i am. YES ACCIDENTALLY.

I dunno what you're into. I'm sure she knew it was an accident?

Yes, Jaime knows it was an accident, but that's not the point. there will be gifs phil

Phil sends him some emojis, only some of which make any sense in context. Dan isn't sure why that calms him down so much. He sits on the edge of his bed and sighs, waiting for Phil to stop typing. It takes a while, but eventually Phil says, Then you'll deal with them. It honestly can't be worse than you falling off the Jimmy Kimmel stage? I swear I saw that gif for months before I knew who you were. And if you're worried about people saying you did it on purpose, tell Jaime. You can talk about it like adults.

It's all laid out very clearly, and while it does make Dan feel better, he doesn't think he's finished being dramatic yet. He checks the time and sighs heavily.

dont suppose you'd be up for a late lunch/early dinner to distract me??

Sure! :), Phil responds immediately. The quickness of his agreement makes that part of Dan's brain start shouting again. I'm actually filming today though. I'll be done in like half an hour if you want to meet me here? Then we can either get takeaway or go out?

It's truly fascinating to Dan how practiced Phil seems to be at giving someone options and pretending like either one is fine rather than just offering his own opinion on the matter.

After assuring Phil that he'll be there, Dan considers getting changed. He's only got fifteen if he wants to get to Phil's place on time, and he isn't exactly known for his quick wardrobe decisions.

In the end, Dan just swaps his nice shoes for some sneakers and rolls his sleeves up. He's a little overdressed still, a McQueen button-down maybe a little too fancy for just hanging out with a new friend, but. He doesn't want to be late. Besides, he looks good. Maybe he likes the idea of Phil being surprised, looking him up and down, having the interview as an excuse to be so dressed up.

The part of Dan's brain that exists to remind him that men are attractive has been so, so loud this week. It's been impossible to ignore.

Dan messes with his straightened fringe until his phone beeps, telling him his Uber is outside. He remembers where Phil lives, in the very vaguest sense, but has to get the exact address from Phil.

He's glad that Phil's front door is painted a specific sort of blue. It would be just Dan's luck to knock on the wrong narrow brick building.

Thor barks, somewhere inside, and Dan shoves his hands in his jean pockets as he waits for Phil to answer the door.

"Hey!" Phil greets him before he's even fully opened the door, beaming. To the great pleasure of Dan's ego, Phil's eyebrows raise as he looks Dan over. "Y'know, you could have changed. I wouldn't have minded waiting a bit."

"Feeling underdressed?" Dan teases.

"A little," says Phil. He pushes his glasses up and gestures at his own graphic tee and slippered feet. "If I'd known there was a dress code, I'd have put on a sports coat."

"You look fine, I was just impatient," says Dan. He waits for another beat. "Uh, can I... come in?"

Phil is giving him a smile, the one with deep eye crinkles and his tongue trapped in his teeth, but it drops as he realises that they've just been standing in his doorway. "Oh! Yeah, sorry, come in. I'm actually not done filming just yet, Thor distracted me. Shouldn't take long."

"What are you filming?" Dan asks curiously, his heart pounding a bit as he follows Phil inside and then, surprisingly, downstairs. "Wait, you're the basement flat? Your video lighting is so good, though!"

"Mostly artificial," says Phil. He sounds wistful. "Someday I'll have a place with a glass window, just you wait."

"What are your windows made of now?"

"What? They're made of glass."

"Then why would you need to wait for one?"

"What did I say?"

"Glass window," says Dan, fighting back giggles. They reach the basement door and Phil lets them in, giving Dan a sheepish sort of smile over his shoulder.

"I meant a glass wall. Like a wall of windows, y'know? That's the dream."

"Yeah, it is," Dan agrees, but he's distracted by the fact that he's in Phil's flat. He kicks his shoes off among the pile next to the door and looks around. "It feels super weird to be seeing this place in 3D."

"Oh, probably," Phil laughs. "You want some slippers? My feet get so cold down here, I've got like a dozen pairs."

"I'm alright."

Phil's flat has less natural light than Dan had expected - or, evidently, than Phil would prefer - but the sheer number of lamps, string lights, and scented candles scattered around the place give it a soft glow that Dan is a big fan of. There are bright colours on every surface and every wall, and the overall effect isn't as overwhelming as it could be. Dan still thinks it could be edited down, but. It's very Phil.

To his vague surprise, he sees Phil's bed pushed against the far wall, a backless bookshelf the only divider from the open living space. Box lights and camera are all set up at the side of his bed.

"If I didn't know what you did for a living," says Dan, gesturing at the setup.

Phil grins at him. "Yeah. My landlord still doesn't believe that I don't make porn. You want a drink?"

"Sure, whatever you're having," says Dan. He spots Thor, curled up on a fluffy dog bed in the corner, and immediately starts cooing. "Oh, there you are! Hello!"

Thor perks up, cocking his head to the side, and Dan gets on the floor to call him over. Within seconds, he ends up on his back with an armful of happy puppy, and he giggles helplessly as Thor licks all over his face.

"Thor, down," Phil says from somewhere above them, sounding amused. Thor backs off, winding through Phil's legs a couple of times before he trots back to his bed.

"I love him," Dan informs Phil, still flat on his back. It's not the most flattering angle to look up at Phil, but he can deal.

"So do I," says Phil. He holds up a glass. "Ribena?"

"Please," says Dan, standing back up to accept the drink. He suddenly feels very weird, standing in the middle of Phil's lounge slash dining area slash kitchen slash bedroom. "Er, you've still got to finish filming, yeah? I can just... sit."

With a small grin, Phil waves at his sofa. "Make yourself at home. Just try not to rile Thor up too much? He's already made my blooper reel longer than the video itself."

"I think I can handle that."

Dan cannot, in fact, handle it. He brings his Ribena to the floor so he can sit next to the dog bed and scratch all of Thor's favourite spots. He finds one of Thor's toys as he listens to Phil wrap up a story that sounds maybe ten percent true, and then - well. It progresses to a tug of war before Dan can even entertain the idea that this might be distracting to Phil.

"Dan," Phil says, in this tone like he's trying to sound stern but can't stop smiling. "Are you growling at Thor?"

Yes. "Maybe."

"Maybe? I'm literally filming right now."

"He's just so cute," Dan whines.

"I know he is," says Phil. "I deal with this struggle every day of my life."

Dan sighs and lets Thor have the rope, watching wistfully as he zooms off with it. "Sorry, I'm really not trying to be a dick. I know this is your job."

"Hey, no," says Phil, suddenly sounding much closer. Dan looks up from corgi-watching to see Phil leaning against one side of his shelves, hands in his pockets and a soft smile playing around his lips. Butterflies erupt somewhere in Dan's belly. "I'm not bothered, really. I think it's cute. I just also, y'know, would like to eat sometime today."

"Why don't I just order something?" Dan suggests.

"Alright," Phil hums. "I'm lactose intolerant and hate mushrooms, but the intolerance can be ignored for pizza if that's what you want."

If that's what Dan wants. "What do you want?"

Phil blinks. "Oh, whatever."

"No," Dan presses. He knows it isn't very good manners, but he wants to see if Phil will actually offer an opinion of his own instead of walking that thin line of indifference. "I will quite literally eat anything. You pick."

It's quiet for a moment while Phil thinks it over, only the hum of the refrigerator and Thor's little huffs of breath for background noise. Dan has to admit that the small basement windows have an upside - less traffic din is able to get through. Coupled with the way Phil has lit his flat, the atmosphere makes Dan feel comfortable, like he could curl up here and just stay.

The rug under Dan is soft, the Ribena is perfectly watered down, and he's got a cute dog and a cute boy to stare at. He really could sit here forever and be content.

"I feel like Chinese," Phil says eventually. He's chewing on his lip, and Dan realises he hasn't seen Phil look so... anxious.

"Chinese sounds great," says Dan. "I'll order."

Phil seems relieved that he hasn't accidentally made a horrible choice or something, and he goes back to filming while Dan fucks around on different apps to find the best Chinese place in Phil's area.

"You never actually told me how you managed to grope someone."

Dan, who had gotten all wrapped up in chow mein and MasterChef and had forgotten his hellish morning by this point, chokes on air.

"Oh my god, nooooo," he groans, covering his face with both hands and sinking further into the sofa. He hears Phil laugh. "She just! Had some fucking, like, fluff on her shoulder. Like lint. I was gonna brush it off."

"How did you fuck that up so hard?" Phil asks. He sounds so amused that Dan wants to keep hiding, but the curse has him peeking out between his fingers curiously.

"I've never heard you swear," says Dan.

"I don't," says Phil, "on YouTube."

Unfortunately for Dan, the sound of Phil swearing is very hot. He groans again, overdramatic to cover up his very real blush, and gesticulates wildly. "My limbs are not friends with my brain, okay, I've got very big hands and I misjudged where I was putting one of them."

"Yeah, you do." Phil's eyes track Dan's hands with an intensity that makes Dan's gut constrict. Then he blinks, meets Dan's eye again, and the look is gone. "That sucks. I get it, though, my body and brain are not on the same frequency at all."

Dan thinks, a little hysterically, that this is a very good reason not to try and have sex with AmazingPhil - he doesn't want to end up in A&E.

There are roughly a hundred other reasons, too. Dan's uncertainty about his own identity, the fact that he's only in the UK for another two weeks, and the very real bond that they've been forming as friends are all at the forefront of his mind. Even so, it helps to make a joke to himself about it.

"Have you ever touched a tit accidentally?" Dan asks dryly.

"I've never touched a tit at all," says Phil. He's drinking coffee despite the hour hurtling into evening quickly, and Dan has to wonder if he ever sleeps. "Not really my wheelhouse."

"They're fine," Dan says, with much less enthusiasm than he normally would. He can't sit here and talk about his boob opinions with Phil, though, because that way lies madness. So he changes the subject, talks loudly about the episode of MasterChef they're on.

He's not ready to come out properly to himself, let alone to someone he barely knows.

Well, okay. It would be more accurate to say 'just met', because Dan feels like he does know Phil fairly well at this point. At least as well as he knows Jaime or Patrick. And maybe that's more of a commentary on how shit a coworker he is, how bad at making friends he is, but whatever. The point is that he likes spending time with Phil a lot, and he wants to do it more, but he can't have that conversation yet.

Dan knows he's attracted to guys. When he was younger and had an even worse handle on himself, that attraction would either lead to fumbling, fearing for his safety, or both.

Right now, specifically, he is attracted to Phil. This feels different, because he's got no reason to fear Phil or to immediately jump him, he's just comfortable sitting next to Phil in the dim light and letting the warmth of the feelings settle in his chest.

Maybe someday he'll be ready to tell Phil that he likes guys. Maybe that'll even go somewhere. For now, Dan is going to trash talk the chefs like he knows what he's talking about and settle into Phil's sofa and laugh like he belongs there.

Dan gets a little too comfortable. He has no idea what time it is when his eyes start to droop, but he's sure it's unreasonably early for someone who goes to sleep in the wee hours of morning most of the time.

A hand on his shoulder jerks him back into full awareness, and Dan blinks over at Phil. "Whuh?"

"Hey," says Phil. He's smiling and his voice is low. Dan can feel the slight chill of Phil's palm through the thin material of his dress shirt.

It's overwhelming, suddenly, how much Dan wants to lean in to Phil. The itch under his skin that he would feel ten years or so ago, the restless, guilty want that had him falling into bed with whatever bloke would let him, is thrumming through him with an intensity he hasn't prepared for. Dan's tongue feels heavy, and his gaze drops to Phil's mouth before he can stop it.

"Hey," echoes Dan, a beat or two late.

"You're falling asleep," Phil says. There's something about his tone that Dan can't quite place, so focused on his own emotions as he is. "You wanna stay over?"

Dan really, really does. But he really, really, really shouldn't.

"I can't," he says, not bothering to hide how regretful it makes him to turn the offer down. "Breakfast telly or whatever in the morning."

The loss of Phil's hand on Dan is one that he thinks he'll be feeling until Phil touches him again. "Of course. You probably have to wake up ridiculously early for that, huh?"

"Unfortunately."

Dan orders himself an Uber and slides to the floor with Thor in order to stop himself from giving his body what it wants in the short amount of time before it arrives. Thor likes the attention, and when Dan glances up to see the soft, unguarded look in Phil's eye, he thinks that Phil probably doesn't mind being ditched for his dog.

They chat about MasterChef and Dan's upcoming interview for a few minutes, safe topics, and Dan is disappointed when his phone beeps with the notification that his driver is close. He doesn't actually want to leave, he just knows he has to.

"We have to do this again before you head up to Edinburgh," says Phil. He walks Dan to the door, which is a little pointless - it's a total of eight steps away.

"How'd you know we're going to Edinburgh this weekend?" Dan asks, distracted from the process of getting his shoes on.

"Been in the business a while, lucky guess."

"Right. Well, then, I'll have to see what I'm doing on Friday."

"Yeah, just message me," says Phil.

There's a moment after Dan gets his shoes on where they're both just standing there looking at each other, and Dan's heart starts pounding like he's getting chased.

"I'll see you Friday," Dan says quietly, even though he isn't sure that he's free. He just needs to say something. His phone beeps again, probably telling him the driver is outside, and Dan is both relieved and annoyed.

Phil opens his mouth to say something, but Dan's racing heart and anxious mind doesn't want to hear whatever it is. He steps forward and wraps his arms around Phil's waist in a tight goodbye hug. It's the sort of embrace he'd give any of his friends, nothing overly intimate, but he knows he'll be thinking about it later anyway.

When Phil's arms drape over Dan's shoulders and his thumb brushes deliberate circles over the back of Dan's neck, it hits Dan very suddenly that if he were to try and kiss Phil right now, Phil would let him. That kind of knowledge is intoxicating, the surety of it making Dan's head swim.

But. He still doesn't know for sure what he wants, and his Uber is waiting. So he just pulls away, says goodnight, leaves.

#phanfic #phanfiction #dnp fic #phan #words words words #can't breathe when you touch my sleeve

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sailolive93-blog · 5 years ago

Text

The best Guide to Reddit Marketing around 2019

"Yep, i do all my modelling in C4D as I just know the tools so well there. I do minimal retopology in Zbrush on organic shapes but any hard surfaces I make in C4D. I'd recommend the "Introduction to Subdivision modelling in C4D" by Shane Benson on Vimeo (he goes by Sheppard O'Neill on YouTube if you prefer that) and it was his tuts that got me into box and subdiv modelling.

I'm also releasing a modelling workshop in C4D and models from the kitchen scene that these belong to will be in there to learn. Just not these two as they belong to marketing for the workshop. very well "Brand new Reddit account with two extensive comments defending Boa Vista Orchards huh...? We joked earlier about spotting the Boa Vista account in here but it looks like we actually have lol! > I just talked to the dude who does the marketing for Apple Hill and he sent me this So you just randomly talked to the guy and he emailed over his entire statement...? " "I too wonder why they didn’t just create a new line and call it the mach-e instead of mustang, I believe it has something to do with the marketing department since they knew it’ll stir a lot of discussion" "Precedent suggests it depends on the marketing around the product being sold and the implied purpose. " "Wow, ha. The fact that you think that it’s ok for the government to strip away my personal health insurance so that I HAVE to be on the same shitty plan on everybody else is crazy. If healthcare is “free” and universal, the quality of healthcare is bound to decrease. I can choose to pay for whatever the fuck I want and whatever healthcare I want. I give to charity and I have plans on giving a lot more to charity as I get further in my career and start making more money. Believe it or not, you aren’t the only one that cares about people just because you want “free” healthcare for everybody. And there is also no such thing as free healthcare. It has to be paid somehow and middle class taxes will go up no matter how complicated you try to make the source of payment sound. And regarding free college, that will also raise middle class taxes. You keep bringing up this. 02% of financial transactions bullshit as if that’s going to cover all costs. Have you done studies on this yourself? Do you even know that? You act like all these things can be magically paid for without anybody in the middle class being negatively affected. I have a bachelor’s degree and I didn’t feel like college was very challenging. It was more like a series of annoying classes I didn’t need when all of college could have been boiled down into one year of the core classes of my major of marketing. College is a fuckin scam and it’s only truly necessary for a very limited amount of majors. You’re just another minion that kisses the feet of big-government Democrats that try to make us feel like horrible people for not allowing them to sucks insane amounts of money out of the economy and spend it how they would like to. inch "That's including the localization teams for every language though, as well as PR and marketing. >! Some of them might even be legacy accreditation for the Gen 6 models they're *still* using.! < " "Time is a cost and you should track where that cost is going. That said, if you are working on general administrative/nonbillable stuff within your own department, it's pretty easy to have that time automatically go to the right cost bucket, so generic entries for that sort of thing are fine imo. The stuff that really has to be tracked is anything for clients or for departments that are outside your default (e. g. engineer writes a blog post, that's marketing time etc). micron "I believe there are some lessons on Google Academy for Adss (now called Skillshop) but hands-on experience is tricky. Two ways are possible, 1) is for you to have your own website and use Google Ad Sense, but this is more from the advertiser side rather than publisher or technical side 2) ask a digital or marketing agency that is near you if you can shadow/assist/internship/work experience for a week or so. This may be difficult depending on where you live and agency people are always very busy, so if you do ask tell them how you could help THEM not the other way around. To be honest, start with Analytics and Paid Search as they are arguable more accessible and have more out there for you to learn" "We are in the same boat, but different industry. Here's my approach, starting this week: I'm joining business groups that my target clients are a part of, for example, manufacturer groups. Then I'm going to target that organization with our services. I'm then going to offer to speak about the service I offer and how it helps businesses. Not a marketing spiel, an educational talk. Good luck" "One might consider a lawsuit if a car or alcohol company advocated or implied the action of drinking and driving in their marketing" "This post has been removed for breaking Rule 1. No Spammy Titles. Do not mention anything about selling anything in the title. Absolutely ZERO marketing in the title. Do not even ask for people to contact you for more. Be enticing. Post quality pics with quality titles. Read the rules for info on how to market yourself here. If your posts keep getting removed then you will be banned. READ THE RULES! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Remember to[contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/? to=/r/feetpics) if you have any questions or concerns. *" "I came of grew up and came of age in Chicago during Jordan's time with the Bulls and the shortest answer is that it's almost incomparable because the level of fame basketball players before Michael Jordan was laughably lower than now. Even today MJ has a logo that might be more identifiable than the company that created it. I would argue no athlete in any sport has surpassed MJ's level of fame. MJ pioneered so many avenues of endorsements, its like comparing planes in the era of propeller planes with jet planes. Jordan like most greats, stood on the shoulders of giants, specifically Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. Those two spent the better part of the late 70's and early to late 80's dominating the sport of basketball. Also add in Isiah Thomas of the Pistons and arguably "Dr. J" Julius Erving of the 76ers and those four were the superstars of the four teams that won EVERY NBA championship of the decade. Before Michael Jordan won his FIRST NBA Championship in 1991, he was arguably bigger than all of them. Before MJ, being a big name athlete meant getting your name on a breakfast cereal box called Wheaties, and doing the commercial saying the plug line "Gotta eat your Wheaties! " That's not a joke. Check 'em out on youtube, they're cringe worthy. MJ's meteoric rise in my opinion was helped by a few special advertising campaigns. I think first would have been his Nike commercials with Spike Lee, another pioneer. He just made "Do the right thing" at a time when black people making movies with black people in the movies wasn't really a thing. Spike Lee also happens to like playing characters in his own movies and Mars Blackmon was a character in that movie that Spike Lee chose to portray in a series of commericals with Michael Jordan. Again, pardon me for repeating, but I have to say it again for context. You have a supremely talented and charismatic young athlete being marketed by a young shoe company (Converse Chuck Taylors were still THE basketball shoe) hiring a visionary and ground breaking director to do something that had not been done before. And they crushed it. Again, at this time Michael Jordan wasn't winning NBA championships. He was having savant level performances, but get bounced out of the first round by the Celtics, or getting manhandled in the playoffs by the Pistons. By the time he did win it all in 91, MJ was doing things that no one had done in fields well outside basketball. Michael Jordan in Flight is one of the first videogames to have 3D. He had already supplanted Dr J in the one on one basketball video game with Larry Bird. Gatorade put out a marketing campaign with the song "Be Like Mike" and that song was the top song for the summer of 92 in Chicago on most radio stations regardless of genre. You're already familiar with Space Jam, but before Space Jam, the Looney Toons were relegated to afternoon after school syndicated (rerun) television stations. Michael Jordan made Bugs Bunny cool again to a whole new generation that knows of them only through MJ. I hope that helps. inches "Yeah I don't want to turn it around and criticize Musk over this or anything, but Tesla is great at PR and marketing while convincing people they don't actually try to be. inches "No, you dont need more parties, you need to ban all parties and establish government funded elections where everyone with a certain amount of support by the people can run using government money and marketing channels. Equal funding, equal marketing, equal candidacy, by the people, for the people. Sounds too good to be true? Well fuck you, because parties are corrupt barbaric cavemen shit. " " Funny Cartoon Images for website content - Family Funny Images and illustrations, Ultimate single panel funny cartoons used for websites, social media and emails https://www.freecartoonsdaily.com https://www.cartoons.cafe www.cartoons.cafe www.acmeblanks.com sign up now! Funny Cartoons, Funny family cartoon images, Custom Cartoons, Niche Cartoons, Humorous Illustration Services, Business Cartoons, Medical Cartoons, Custom Comic Strips, Book Illustration Services, Political Cartoons, funny hospital cartoons, cartoons for marketing, corporate cartoons, work cartoons, business cartoons, Computer Cartoons, farmer cartoons, farm cartoons, tractor cartoons, Pig cartoons, pig farmer cartoons, cor farmer cartoons, wheat farmer cartoons, soybean farmer cartoons.... inch "That's including people associated with the marketing and promotion of Sword and Shield, which means people at Nintendo and the Pokemon Company rather than actual programmers at Game Freak working on the game itself. The same article you're looking at gives 200 at Game Freak - which is likely wrong since Game Freak had 143 employees, and Game Freak openly stated most were working on Town. You could include the modelers from Creatures Inc, but given that the models are the same as those developed for X and Y by Creatures Inc years ago, they are likely still being credited for "work" on this game that was actually done quite some time ago. " "Imagine what a lucky break JonTron was for FlexSeal. Their products are actually pretty decent, but their marketing was almost typical infomercial stuff that no-one over fifty would've seen. Next, out of nowhere, some YouTuber makes them famous amongst younger customers. People make "that's a lotta damage, " and "I sawed this boat in half, " memes. Everyone knows who they are. Chances are, when you need some stuff like this you'll at the very least know about their existence and you might buy their stuff because at least you know they're legit. Some people will buy it when they need something like that, literally for the meme. All they have to do is keep the ball rolling with tweets like these (because, of course, people actually follow them on Twitter now). " "That's my point. The pub you linked to is disney land. I'm looking for somewhere that recreates the a more authentic historical experience. I think these places have got their marketing wrong which is why they are closing. They should be trying to recreate an experience closer to that in the Pathe news reel. If you just sold fresh baked bread, potted Hare, a variety of local ales you could heat with a poker while smoking a hilarious pipe you could capture a huge slice of the real ale / hipster / foodie market. " "No game in the genre had been competition for the Diablo franchise since it's inception. D3 no matter how you look at it was a huge commercial success being in the top 10 video games sold of all time at one point. Diablo now has become what WoW was before, tons of games saying they are a WoW killer and none of them doing it. So now we looming at Diablo killers but they all end up falling off somewhere because they don't get the same $$$ support / marketing. inch "8M opening weekend bad = bad marketing. Bad quality movie would be revealed in the multiplier (word of mouth and no rewatches). In this case I don’t think there was anything compelling from the movie they could focus the marketing around which led to the 8M OW. " "I’m in the same boat. I have to get 14 credits by may2020. In the last 2 weeks I did principle of marketing 3 credits score 66 and principal of management 3 credits score 62. This week I’ll take precalculas which is 5 credits and calculus which is 4 credits. I did not pay the $89 for the test because I did modernstates which pays the testing fee. It also reimburses me for the $20 testing fee" "Marketing. McAf€€ gets money from users, Micro$oft gets money from McAfee. They beget the green, motherfuckers that they are. Sometimes http://tipofmytongue.topreddit.info who install 3^^rd party stuff tho, it's not only Microsoft. Anyway, it's a motherfuckery of bloatware if not malware. "McAfee antivirus is one of the worst products on the planet" -John McAfee" "You're arguing entirely from marketing hype instead of actual quality, which is entirely stupid and comes down entirely to Sont having far greater of a userbase and them having less games to pump more money behind. Besides, let's not pretend Sony has an actual library of games here. Both Xbox and Sony have completely shit the bed this console generation in terms of exclusive libraries. Sony has had like, 8 good games this entire generation as exclusives. You��have Death Stranding, Uncharted 4, Horizon, Until Dawn, Bloodborne, God of War, MLB The Show... That's about it? I guess you also have Detroit and Last Guardian depending on who you ask, but I defo don't wanna throw Days Gone on that list. But in any case, you could lump all of those games into loke 3-4 genres. Am I missing anything? But yeah, stop saying dumb shit like "Well its not a household name so its irrelevant" because you're entirely missing the point and reducing the entire industry to what can or can't be marketed. As well, its telling that Sony has stated their goal next-gen is to have less games release but have them be bigger, where Microsoft is going the opposite direction. Keep the the big titles, bur also have a little something for everyone. Diversity is important. Your Battletoads reboot might not sell as well, but its important to folks who like it. Games shouldn't be live or die based on how well they fit in established and marketable trends. Its absurdly reductive" "I actually never had injected one, whats the main difference? And is it really a big improvement or rather a marketing bait" "It’s all part of his NYC persona. Marketing. inches

#tag #statics

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zenosanalytic · 6 years ago

Text

4/20/19 HSE 8

Ok back at it

MEAT 15

Cool Fight; Not terribly surprising.

MEAT 16

Dirk’s as much Rose’s father as Rose is his Mother. I guess maybe it’s more convenient, psychologically, to choose a causative direction and stick with it, rather than accept the Mobial nature of their genesis, but for some reason it bugs me this keeps getting overlooked.

Dirk’s over here talking about how right he is all the time and I dont think he was ever right about anything even once in canon(aside from certain aspects of his talk with Dave, and choosing not to kill Hal) XD The only “plan” of his to work was the one re: entering the Session, and 1)he outsourced it to Hal and 2)it only worked because he managed to improvise his way through every aspect of it failing to go the way he thought it would, and even that probably had more to do with their entry being part of HiC’s plan to use them, so she wasn’t trying to wipe them.

Another Thing: I dont think the Ascent Differential is Aspect so much as Personality.

Another Another Thing: That Rose, when discussing her life-long fear of knowledge as a corrupting and ruining outside force(this being a person who always felt her mother wasn’t her mother, in some sense, and responded to that fear by rejecting emotional intimacy with said mother), doesnt see the connection between that life-long fear and her fear that Ascending will be bad, damaging, and corrupting, is Notable. Perspective continues to be important, and lack of self-awareness continues to hamstring ppl in this narrative.

MEAT 17

I feel like this new narrative belligerence on Dirk’s part isn’t going to work out too well for him with a person as aware and recalcitrant to narrative meddling as John. It’s going to be John and WV all over again. This is also a wonderful example of how personal flaw and specificity isn’t solved by Godhood in HS, and can really trip you up; basically all of this, including the “impotence” applies to Dirk, too, when others disagree with the direction he’s trying to push them in, and this whole rant may be meant, ironically, as an example of dramatic irony: basically, that Dirk’s rant about total control and knowledge reveals the limits of his knowledge and will be followed by examples of how limited his control is, which he can’t be aware of, but which the “impotent” audience will.

MEAT 18

...And, almost immediately, John’s objecting to the narration and doing things before Dirk “writes” him doing them(the sigh).

MEAT 19

“So yeah, I’m gonna allow it” Notice how he asserts power over situations he does not, in fact, have power over.

Which is kind of an interesting dynamic to bring up in the context of authorship? I mean: in the realm of nonfictional works an author can’t “make” things happen, only alter for their audience what DID happen. In some respect this is being written as equivalent to that dynamic; the simple admission in M17 that Dirk is misrepresenting events also admits those events happened another way than he’d prefer, meaning it’s also an admission of his lack of power over actual events. And, of course, all the other things I’ve been talking about, and the fact that everyone’s “character” is rooted in natures established in the original work. But in a fictional work an author’s creative power is absolute, and this is a fictional work; though I suppose a derivative or transformational one, which accounts for the shortfall. Another interesting aspect of this is that the “Author” is presented as a Narrator; Narrators merely describe what happened, they don’t create it. I was going somewhere more concrete with this but it popped out of my head >:T >:T

Ok so other aspects of this: I agree that Jane’s been established as a pretty ambitious person, but she was also always a pretty moral person and the way she’s going about this so far doesn’t seem to be in keeping with that part of herself. And also: she literally wants to create shortages, and thus the suffering shortages will cause, for... what? Nostalgia? Because she think she can run Capitalism better than the adults from before all this?? Because Hierarchy is Neat??? Seems like a whole handful of really petty, selfish, and juvenile reasons to me. Also one guaranteed to cause social conflict; I doubt a civ that’s never known material want is going to react too well to sudden starvation and financially-manufactured forced-labor(which, lbr, is what most work in our world is).

Obvsl, as a snake and member of the storied gens Atheris, I agree with Roxy&Calli that patriarchal human concepts of gender are not the end-all-be-all of identity, but what really jumps out to me here is Roxy’s description of the nature of their love for, and previous sexual interest in, Dirk which I find really True. Like: the sentiment of wanting to see children of a person because you really like that person and think they should continue, or of thinking having the kids you might have with another person would be pretty interesting. Also that loneliness is a hell of a drug 8T

I’m trying to figure out why this conversation would be circumstantially simultaneous with The Furthest Ring being “destroyed”, but I got Nothing :T :T :T

MEAT 20

So yeah, Jade’s merging with her Alt!Selves, not too surprising since it was heavily foreshadowed in Endgame.

Given that Sessions are located IN the Furthest Ring, and Sessions MAKE new multiverses, I find it being made out of “negative potential. The absence of a future” pretty ironic :p I wonder if the tentacle hair bit is a nod towards the Horror-Terrors, and theories about them being Players? Rose and Dirk’s view of Ascension would seem to suggest HTs might be SUCCESSFUL players who eventually abandoned their universes out of fear of the damage they’d do misusing their godhood(as it doesnt solve your personal problems), rather than the old HC of them being failed Players.

MEAT 21

My theory about “The Economy” being code for sex doesn’t stop feeling ever more confirmed by this narrative :|

Dirk’s anger at the idea of anyone not thinking he’s right about everything is Palpable on this page. Also I’d just like to note that This:

Is being said by a person currently in the middle of metaphysically manipulating a friends towards her worst impulses(and also potentially some amounts of self-hatred, give her thoughts re: femininity) for the sake of establishing a dictatorship through which she, as his agency-dimmed puppet, will enforce his personal politico-philosophical preferences regardless of what anyone else thinks and he’s saying it about people who just said This:

which is to say: a bunch of political pluralists who are NOT seeking to impose their morality on anyone but rather to establish a system where EVERYONE can SHARE their moral understanding of policy issues and come to a consensus decision on them, within the context of a political society DEFINED by the equality of all as political actors. There’s just so much that’s wrong, weak, and easily dismissable about Dirk’s argument here. Not to mention his obvs, undisguised, physical disgust for trolls >:T

And he’s doing all this Purely because, given his fixation on “Winning”, he wants to Win. Like: he’s not actually even pursuing what he considered good policy; he is, literally, doing this all for Pure Ego, which he has the gall(and lack of self-awareness) to accuse others of acting from. And this self-deluding buffoon is a person who believes himself “Ascended” and therefore possessed of a “higher” and “clearer” perspective on matters above their “petty” concerns about, oh non-humans being allowed to live as they like, or practice any political agency at all, and all ppls being spared unnecessary and pointless suffering due to entirely manufactured shortages. So much (real, actual)Irony, of so many types, in all of this, all at once.

An aside: I am really liking the political-mindedness of these Epilogues so far; really playing to my Interests uwu

The bit about Hybrid babs and shipnames is funny, and it doesn’t read like a shot at the fandom to me at all; it’s more a joke at Dave’s expense given the obvs distress Kanaya’s in and his inability to stop making the situation more awkward(itself prob the result of Bro’s neglect/abuse)

Oh hey look: it’s Dirk the “Omniscient” being distracted, caught unawares and off-guard by the actions of others, unable to handle the role&work he’s chosen for himself(ie “out of his depth”), unable to split his attention between even just two conscious ppl at once, and not knowing what others are thinking. Given this and his handling of Jade’s thoughts in the last section, I kinda feel like it’s less he can actually sense the thoughts of others, and more that he gets some kind of inkling or hunch, or maybe that’s it’s purely just him guessing(that’d fit real well with his comments on Roxy being “inscrutable” to him), or even just having an awareness of the plot he is narrating(and thinks he’s writing). Of course it could also be some kind of Heart thing; not really even access to their thoughts at all, but a sort of awareness of their Agency? Like: Heart is The Self and The Self is expressed through Agency, so he has, in some way, developed an awareness of “Self-Action”, which is to say, Agency? Kinda like how Dave “feels” Time and Jade “feels” Space and Rose “feels” Relevance. Which, just as an asnide, would be something super-basic powers-dev wise, since Dave started having a sense of Time way back in the early Acts, long before godhood. Though I can see how Dirk developing an awareness of OTHERS intentions(and feelings, potentially, given Heart’s other associations) would seem like a big step for him, given how self-absorbed he is.

Ok that’s it for this one I think. I know I’m not being terribly kind to Dirk in all this but, tbf, he’s being kind of a huge snide Dick in basically every respect, and I also don’t have a lot of Chill in me when it comes to 1)arrogant people or 2)manipulators (:T

#Homestuck #HS Epilogue #Homestuck Spoilers #zA Opinions #analytic posts

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