#Mystery I just want you to know that you legit scared the hell out of me when I was just casually going through my dash

[pucked-bunnie]

home sweet home ⎜q.hughes

pairings: quinn hughes x fem!OC (rae noelle) genre: romance ⎜established relationship ⎜ famous FMC⎜ warnings: quinn is a jealous boy ⎜ misunderstanding ⎜ otherwise not much ⎜this was just a little big silly and goofy synopsis: quinn decides to bring his girlfriend home for the first time to meet his family - he doesn't expect the attention she brings to go so bad so quickly. word count: 4.5k authors note:  this was requested by a reader who wants to stay anonymous but i hope they enjoy it! and I hope I did their idea justice! this is also my first time writing with an OC so sorry if it's a bit awkward

(unedited)

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“So is your girlfriend coming or not?” Quinn rolls his eyes as Jack keeps firing his questions - the middle brother still uncertain that Quinn was telling the truth about his “girlfriend”. 

“She said she’ll be here in a few minutes - work ran late.” Quinn responds, stirring the pasta sauce on the stove, trying not to smile at the thought of finally having you here with him for the rest of the summer with the break in your filming schedule.  

“So what does she do for work?” Jack questions again, his chin nestled in his palm as he watches his older brother cook dinner - unable to avoid noticing the grin growing on his brothers face as he continues asking questions. The only reason Jack hadn’t stopped bothering his older brother was because he knew Quinn was down bad as he was going to milk it or all it was worth. 

“She works in media.” Quinn says quickly, his gaze shooting away from the pasta sauce down to his phone as it lets out a high pitched ding. 

“Is that her? Is she here?” Jack questions perking up from his spot at the counter, watching his older brother read the text message with a knowing grin. Quinn just nods before he takes off towards the front door, wanting to beat his little brother and avoid his family scaring off his girlfriend. 

Quinn reached the front door just as Jack darted after him.

"Quinn, wait! I need to meet this mysterious media mogul," Jack said, smirking. 

Quinn shot him a warning glance over his shoulder. "Stay here, Jack. I mean it."

Jack didn’t bother hiding his laugh as he leaned against the wall near the entrance, ignoring the command entirely.

A moment later, Quinn pulled open the door, and there she was: Rae, dressed in a casual yet effortlessly chic outfit, her hair gleaming in the golden hour light.

“Hey,” Rae said, her warm smile directed at Quinn as she stepped inside. Her eyes lit up when he leaned in to kiss her, but the sound of a poorly suppressed snort nearby made her pause.

“So this is Rae,” Jack said, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. “Not bad, Quinn. But I have to say, for someone in ‘media,’ you’ve got—”

Jack stopped mid-sentence, his eyes narrowing as he got a proper look at Rae. Recognition dawned, and his jaw dropped. "Oh my God. You’re Rae Noelle!”

Quinn groaned, running a hand over his face. "Jack, please—"

“No, no, no. Time out,” Jack said, spinning toward his brother. “You didn’t think to mention that your girlfriend is, like, a legit celebrity?” Rae laughed softly, stepping forward to shake Jack’s hand. 

“Hi. You must be Jack. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Jack blinked as he shook her hand. “Not as much as I’ve apparently not heard about you.” Jack looks between the couple, watching as Quinn leans forwards taking the bags from her hands “No, seriously how is this still a secret?” 

Before Rae could respond, Luke’s voice echoed from the living room. “What’s going on? Who’s at the door?” He appeared a second later, a soda can in hand, only to stop short when he saw Rae. His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. “Wait a minute... You’re the woman from that magazine Mom has on the coffee table! The tiktoker!”

“Singer, actually,” Rae corrected gently, her smile patient.

“Singer and tiktoker,” Jack interjected, still looking at Rae like she’d stepped out of a movie poster. “Quinn, how the hell did you pull this?”

Quinn groaned louder this time. “Can we not do this right now? Rae just got here, and we’re supposed to have dinner as a family, not interrogate her.” Rae placed a calming hand on Quinn’s arm. 

“It’s okay,” she said with a soft laugh. “I’m used to it.” She turned back to Jack and Luke, her tone teasing. “We’re both incredibly good at keeping secrets.” Rae continues to tease, watching the two younger brothers mouths drop open. 

Jack blinked again, still processing. “This is insane. Rae Noelle, sitting in my kitchen. Does Mom know about this?”

“Just Rae.” She corrects him gently. 

“She will soon,” Luke yells excitedly in response to the middle brother, already pulling out his phone to text their mother. 

Quinn lunged toward him. “Don’t you dare, Luke!” The kitchen erupted into chaos as Luke laughed and darted away, phone in hand, with Quinn chasing after him. Rae watched the scene unfold with amused disbelief, turning to Jack.

“Is it always like this with them?”

Jack grinned. “Oh, you have no idea. Welcome to the family.”

Rae chuckled softly, crossing her arms as she leaned against the counter. “Thanks. I think.”

The clatter of feet and the sound of Quinn’s frustrated groans echoed through the house as he chased Luke, who was laughing like a maniac and shouting, “Mom’s gonna flip when she sees this!”

Jack stayed put, watching the chaos with a smirk. “You know,” he said, turning to Rae, “this might be the first time I’ve ever seen Quinn this... flustered. Usually, he’s the calm, collected one.”

“Oh?” Rae questions with a raised brow, her arms crossing over her chest as she watches the two brothers continue to play cat and mouse throughout the house. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him calm at home.” She chuckles barely noticing the slight surprise in Jack’s face as her words. 

“Home?” He questions to himself softly, looking over at the celebrity in his entryway, her eyes watching her boyfriend fondly as it all clicks into place, “This isn’t a new thing is it?” He questions, his grin growing as Rae’s eyes shoot over to him, her lips tilted upwards in a sheepish grin. 

“He made me promise not to say.” She chuckles. 

The commotion in the hallway died down as Quinn reappeared, looking frazzled but victorious, Luke trailing behind him with a sheepish grin and no phone in sight.

“Crisis averted,” Quinn said, exhaling as he ran a hand through his hair. “Mom is not finding out like this. At least not yet.”

Rae gave him an amused look. “You do realise she’s going to find out eventually, right?”

Quinn groaned. “Yeah, but I was hoping to ease her into it. Preferably without Luke live-streaming it to the family group chat.”

Luke raised his hands defensively. “No live stream. I promise. Just... maybe a photo later?” Rae head is already nodding yes, shooting the youngest a soft smile as she watches her boyfriend turn to his brother with a glare. “I swear I won’t post it anywhere.” He says, throwing his hands up defensively. 

Quinn sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. "Fine. One photo. Later. After dinner. And only if Rae agrees." Luke grinned triumphantly, while Jack shook his head, still marvelling at the situation. 

“Man, this summer just got a whole lot more interesting.”

Dinner turned into a lively affair, the kind of evening where the air buzzed with overlapping conversations, laughter, and the occasional teasing. Rae fit right in, her quick wit and easy laugh earning her the approval of Jack and Luke. Even Quinn couldn’t hide how much he loved having her there, sneaking glances at her as she joked with his brothers.

After dinner, the four of them moved outside to sit by the fire pit, the sun dipping below the horizon and casting the yard in hues of orange and pink. Luke had insisted on roasting marshmallows, which turned into a chaotic competition of who could make the “perfect golden brown.” Rae surprised everyone by nailing it on her first try.

“Beginner’s luck,” Jack muttered, his own marshmallow charred on one side.

“I don’t know,” Rae teased, holding up her perfectly toasted treat. “I think it’s just raw talent.”

Luke laughed so hard he nearly dropped his skewer. “She’s already my favourite.” 

Quinn leaned back in his chair, arms crossed but with a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Mine too.”

The evening wound down as the stars began to dot the sky. Jack and Luke shared embarrassing childhood stories about Quinn, much to Rae’s delight, Quinn equally sharing all the the stories he could think of about the younger brothers until their cheeks were flushing a soft pink, the two of them begging him to stop. 

The next few days followed a similar rhythm.

 Mornings were slow and lazy, Rae joining Quinn for coffee on the porch while his brothers slept in. Afternoons were filled with lake trips, group games, and many movies - borderline too many. 

By the third day, it was as though Rae had always been part of the family. Jack stopped gawking every time she entered the room, though he still teased Quinn mercilessly about “dating up.” Luke, meanwhile, had become Rae’s shadow, constantly asking questions about her career and how to go viral on TikTok.

Quinn watched it all unfold with quiet satisfaction. Rae had not only handled his brothers’ antics with grace but had also managed to connect with them in a way that felt genuine. 

It was everything he’d hoped for and more.

On the fourth day, the summer rhythm hit its stride. Rae had settled into the family dynamic seamlessly, waking up to Quinn’s sleepy smile and coffee brewed just how she liked it. By mid-morning, the house came alive with the sounds of Jack and Luke’s antics—bickering about what game to play, who got the last pancake, or who was the best at trivia.

That afternoon, they all headed down to the lake. The warm sun glinted off the water as Jack and Luke immediately dove in, splashing each other like kids. Rae sat on the edge of the dock with Quinn, dipping her toes in the cool water.

“You know,” she said, leaning back on her hands, “I think I’ve laughed more in the past few days than I have in months.”

Quinn glanced at her, his features softening. “That’s what summers here do. It’s different—quieter. Grounding.”

She nodded, her gaze following Jack and Luke as they challenged each other to see who could hold their breath the longest. “It’s been good for me. And for you too, I think.”

Quinn smiled, leaning over to kiss her temple. “Yeah. It’s been really good.”

That night, as everyone lounged on the porch under a blanket of stars, the conversation turned sentimental. Jack, for all his teasing, spoke up first. “I gotta say, Rae, I didn’t think you’d stick around after the first day with us. We’re... a lot.”

Rae smiled softly, her hand resting on Quinn’s. “You’re a lot in the best way. Honestly, this feels like home.”

Luke, half-asleep in a hammock, muttered, “You’re way too cool for Quinn.”

“I heard that,” Quinn said, chuckling.

“Doesn’t make it less true,” Luke shot back, his eyes still closed.

Everyone laughed, the sound echoing into the quiet summer night. Quinn squeezed Rae’s hand, his heart full as he looked at her surrounded by his family.

As the night stretched on and the others began to drift inside, Quinn and Rae stayed behind, the porch swing swaying gently beneath them.

“You really meant it, didn’t you?” Quinn asked, his voice quiet in the stillness.

Rae tilted her head. “Meant what?”

“When you said this felt like home.”

She looked up at him, her gaze steady and full of warmth. “I did.”

Quinn’s smile was slow and genuine. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Rae leaned into him, her head resting against his shoulder. “I have an idea.”

“My mum and dad are coming over tomorrow, for the fourth.” Quinn adds suddenly his eyes trained on their joined hands, his thumb rubbing absentminded circles on the back of her hand. “You’ll be meeting them for the first time.” He adds. 

“Are you nervous?” She asks, glancing up at him as he shakes his head. 

“I just want you to like them — I want them to be as much my family as they are yours.” He says softly, bringing her hands up to press a gentle kiss against the back of her hand. 

“Quinn how could I not love them? They gave me you didn’t they?” Rae responds, watching her boyfriend falter, his fingers squeezing hers as he just nods, his words caught in his throat. “Something about us in this swing is very domestic, don’t you think.” She notes, changing the subject as Quinn clears his throat, the tips of his ears burning as he nods along. 

“You’d make a cute old lady.” Quinn agrees as Rae lets out a scoff of laughter. 

“Well, I think you’d be a pretty ugly old lady.” Rae jokes back, watching as Quinn shoots her a playful glare, his posture getting ready to lunge as she shoves herself away from the swing, just making it out of Quinn’s grasp. 

“You can run, but you can’t hide.” She hears Quinn call from behind her. 

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“Morning.” Rae coos as she walks into the kitchen, her sky blue summer dress swinging around her ankles as she sidles up besides Quinn at the counter, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Anything I can help with, baby?” She questions, Quinn quickly shaking his head. 

“Nope, you just go and relax, the guests will be here in a few hours.” He notes, Rae’s eyebrows furrowing as she pouts softly. 

“C’mon give me something to do.” She sighs, “I’m going to die from boredom if I keep ‘just relaxing’” She continues, putting air quotations around her words. 

“Okay, fine—if you can head into town with Jack to pick up the cake, that would be great,” Quinn finally says, giving in with a playful smirk. He grabs a dish towel to dry his hands as Rae lights up with excitement.

“Done!” she chirps, spinning on her heel and heading toward the door. “Let me grab my purse!”

“Jack’s already outside,” Quinn calls after her. “Try not to kill each other before you get back, alright?” Rae sticks her tongue out at him before disappearing down the hall.

Outside, Jack leans against the shiny black SUV, scrolling through his phone with one hand and holding a coffee cup in the other. When he spots Rae walking toward him, his lips curl into a smirk.

“Well, if it isn’t Her Royal Highness,” he greets, mock bowing as she approaches.

Rae rolls her eyes. “And if it isn’t my trusty chauffeur,” she retorts, opening the passenger door and tossing her purse inside.

Jack straightens and grins. “Trusty? That’s a first.”

She scoffs, settling into the seat. “Don’t push your luck. You’re only here because Quinn refused to let me do this on my own.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack replies, climbing into the driver’s seat. “Let’s just pick up the cake so you can stop bossing me around.”

“Not likely,” Rae quips. The drive into town is lively, with Rae critiquing Jack’s playlist the entire way.

“Seriously? Another eighties rock song?” she groans as the intro to yet another ballad blasts through the speakers.

Jack gasps dramatically. “You did not just insult Bon Jovi.”

“I did. And I’ll do it again,” Rae teases, reaching for the volume knob.

Jack swats her hand away. “You have no taste.”

“Says the man who’s apparently trapped in a time warp,” Rae fires back.

Their banter continues until they pull into the small parking lot outside the bakery. It’s a quaint little shop with pastel-coloured awnings and a display window filled with intricately decorated cakes and pastries.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Rae says, hopping out of the car.

Jack trails behind her, taking his time as he sips his coffee. “You act like this is a chore. It’s cake, Rae. Cake is sacred.”

“Then maybe you should carry it,” she shoots back over her shoulder.

The bell above the bakery door jingles as they step inside, greeted by the sweet scent of sugar and frosting. Rae heads straight to the counter to confirm the order, while Jack lingers by a shelf of macarons, examining them like he’s never seen dessert before.

“Hi, I’m here to pick up an order for Quinn,” Rae says with a friendly smile.

The baker nods, disappearing into the back.

Jack sidles up beside her, holding a macaron in one hand. “Think they’ll notice if I steal this?”

Rae gives him a withering look. “You’re not stealing from a bakery, Jack.”

“It’s not stealing if I eat it before they catch me,” he replies, popping it into his mouth before she can protest.

Before Rae can chastise him further, a group of teenagers outside catches her eye. They’re huddled together, staring through the window and whispering excitedly.

“Oh no,” she mutters under her breath, ducking slightly.

“What?” Jack asks, his mouth still full of macaron.

“I think we’ve been spotted,” Rae says, nodding toward the window.

Jack follows her gaze and smirks as the teens pull out their phones, snapping pictures. “Ah, the price of fame.”

“Ugh, why today?” Rae groans, rubbing her temples.

Jack’s grin widens. “Relax, Rae. It’s just a few fans. Smile and wave. Or better yet…” He casually slings an arm around her shoulders, leaning in like they’re posing for a photo.

The teens outside erupt in squeals, and Rae’s face flushes crimson. “Jack!” she hisses, shrugging his arm off.

“What?” he says, feigning innocence. “They already think we’re a thing. Might as well give them what they want.”

“Do you have any sense of shame?” Rae snaps, glaring at him.

“None whatsoever,” Jack replies with a cheeky grin. Before Rae can argue further, the baker returns with a pristine white box tied neatly with a ribbon. Rae thanks her quickly, eager to escape the attention, while Jack picks up the box with exaggerated care.

“Don’t drop it,” Rae warns as they head back to the car, the group of teens still snapping photos and whispering loudly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jack replies, shooting the fans a wink as they pass.

By the time they’re back in the SUV, Rae slumps into her seat, groaning. “Great. Just great. Now the internet’s going to think we’re a couple.”

Jack chuckles as he starts the car. “Hey, maybe Quinn will get a kick out of it.”

“Or maybe he’ll use it as an excuse to never send us on errands together again,” Rae mutters.

Jack glances at her with a playful grin. “You know, we’d make a pretty convincing couple.”

“Drive, Jack,” Rae deadpans, turning her attention to the window. Jack puts the car into drive but pauses for a moment, his head shooting to look over at the girl besides him. 

“I never payed for the macaron.” He yelps, his hand slapping against his forehead, “I really did steal from a bakery.” 

“Goddamn it, Jack.” Rae sighs, but she can’t help the smile that grows on her face. 

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When they returned to the house, Rae carried the cake into the kitchen while Jack immediately flopped onto the couch, scrolling through his phone. Quinn looked up from his spot by the counter, smiling at Rae.

“Did everything go smoothly?” he asked, reaching out to take the cake from her and set it on the table.

“Define ‘smoothly,’” Rae muttered, shooting Jack a glare. Quinn’s brow furrowed, but before he could ask, Jack let out a low whistle from the living room. “There was an small hiccup at the bakery but it’s really not a bi—” 

“Well, would you look at that,” Jack drawled, holding up his phone. “Rae and I made the headlines.”

“What are you talking about?” Quinn asked, his tone sharpening as he crossed the room to snatch the phone from Jack’s hand. His expression darkened as he stared at the screen. The paparazzi images were crystal clear: Rae laughing as Jack leaned into her outside the bakery, his arm slung around her shoulders. The caption read: "Rae Noelle Spotted with NHL Player in Michigan - New Hot Couple Alert.” 

Quinn’s jaw tightened, and his eyes flicked up to Jack, then to Rae. “Care to explain this?” he asked, his glare focused on Jack, his voice clipped.

Rae stepped forward, her expression softening. “Quinn, it’s not what it looks like. Some fans spotted us, and Jack—” She shot Jack another glare. “—decided to play it up for the cameras.” Jack shrugged, unbothered. 

“What? It’s not my fault they assumed we’re a couple.” Jack sinks further into the couch as the couple send him another annoyed look. Quinn’s gaze lingered on Rae for a moment, her hand reaching up to gently rub his arm, his expression unreadable, before he turned back to Jack. 

“You couldn’t have just ignored them?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jack replied with a grin, but it faltered under Quinn’s glare. Rae let out a long sigh as she watches the two brothers in a stare off before linking her fingers with Quinn’s pulling him away from his younger brother. 

“Please don’t be mad, it was a joke and I can call my publicist to get it all sorted out.” She says quickly, Quinn nodding his head letting out a soft breath as he steps forwards, leaning his forehead against her shoulder, their hands still linked at their side. “But Quinn maybe now is the right time to just get it all out there — no more misunderstandings.” She whispers, raising her free hand to brush through his soft curls. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Quinn sighs, pulling away and giving her a tense smile before leaving back towards the kitchen. 

The rest of the day passed in a blur of preparations. Quinn and Rae worked together to decorate the dining room, stringing fairy lights across the ceiling and arranging bouquets of wildflowers in mason jars. Jack, under strict orders from Quinn, helped set up the outdoor seating area, though he complained loudly the entire time.

“Why do we even need this many chairs?” Jack grumbled, dragging another folding chair into place. “Half these people aren’t going to sit down anyway.”

“Because,” Quinn said patiently, adjusting a tablecloth, “some of us actually plan ahead for our guests. Unlike you, who once hosted a barbecue with no plates.”

“They had hands,” Jack shot back. “Plates are overrated.” Rae snickered, walking by with a tray of candles.

“Remind me to never let you host anything again.”

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the first guests began to arrive. The house quickly filled with the sound of laughter and music, the warm glow of the lights reflecting off glasses of wine and cider. Rae flitted between groups, making sure everyone had drinks and saying brief hello’s to most of the families star-struck friends.

Quinn watched her from across the room, a soft smile playing on his lips. She looked radiant, her laughter lighting up the space more than any string of lights could - kindly welcoming the overwhelming amount of photo requests. 

“She’s good at this,” Jack said, sidling up next to him. His tone was light, but there was a note of something deeper—approval, maybe.

“She is,” Quinn agreed, his voice steady. 

Jack studied him for a moment before speaking again. “Look, I know I can be... a lot. But you know I wouldn’t actually do anything to mess things up for you two, right?” Quinn just nods, his gaze still trialing his girlfriend around the party, “She’s perfect for you, Quinn, seriously.” 

Quinn’s gaze shifted to him, his expression unreadable. After a moment, he nodded. “I know. But maybe just try to avoid dating scandals with my girlfriend.”

Jack grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “You got it, big brother.”

The rest of the evening was perfect—almost. Quinn found himself watching Rae a little too closely, his mind circling back to those photos. 

He trusted her, of course, but the way the media twisted things left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Could this happen with anyone? 

Would this keep happening as long as they were private? 

As the last guests trickled out and the house quieted, Rae sank onto the couch with a tired sigh. Quinn joined her, handing her a glass of water. She smiled up at him, her eyes soft with gratitude.

“Thanks. I needed that,” she said, taking a sip.

He hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Baby, about earlier…”

She set the glass down, her brow furrowing. “Quinn, you don’t have to—”

“I do,” he interrupted gently. “I know it wasn’t your fault, but seeing those pictures… I guess I realised how much I hate the idea of people thinking you could be with anyone but me.”

Her expression softened, and she reached for his hand. “You shouldn’t worry about that, it’ll be taken care of if it happens again.”

His thumb brushed over her knuckles, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “I know. I just… maybe I don’t want it to happen again.” Rae’s eyebrows lift as she tilts her head in confusion, her stomach dropping at the potential way the conversation should lead. 

“Loving someone this much,” he admitted, his voice low. “It’s terrifying.”Rae’s heart squeezed at the vulnerability in his tone. She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, patiently waiting for him to break the bad news. “I think we should—” Rae can’t help the way she zones out, her teeth digging into her lip as she feels the lump grow in her throat. 

Shit, this was it. 

He was breaking up with her. 

“Rae? Baby, are you listening?” Her head shoots back to look at Quinn, his brows furrowed, his free hand lifting to wipe away the small tear rolling down her cheek. “We don’t have to do an instagram post if you want to do something more offical.” He says quickly, his eyes panicked as he adds, “Maybe we should talk with you PR team and see what they think.” 

“Wait, what?” Rae chokes out, he tears stopping almost immediately as she focuses in on what Quinn was saying. 

“What?” Quinn asks back equally confused. 

“You’re not breaking up with me?” 

“What the fuck.” Quinn reels back not understanding how the conversation had ended up here, he thought he was being pretty clear. “I said maybe we should do one of those hard launch instagram posts — you thought I was breaking up with you? Over this?” 

“Don’t make fun of me.” She whines, dropping her head into her hands, letting out a soft chuckle, “I’ve been broken up with for less.” 

“Well you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future. My family likes you too much to let you go” Quinn chuckles, reaching over and pulling her into his arms, pressing soft kisses against her hair as she lets out another embarrassed groan. They stayed like that for a moment, wrapped in each other’s warmth, before Jack’s voice broke the silence.

“Ugh, if you two are gonna get all mushy, at least warn me so I can leave.”

Quinn groaned, pulling back just enough to glare at his brother. “Don’t you have dishes to do?”

Jack held up his hands in surrender, backing out of the room. “Fine, fine. But next time, keep it PG in the common areas.” Rae laughed, resting her head on Quinn’s shoulder. 

“He’s never going to change, is he?”

“Probably not,” Quinn said, his lips brushing her hair again. “But now you have to deal with it too.”

[piko-rose]

JDFHVNDFJGNFJKGNRFHUGERKJGRFHUGBFGBNFJBNJGBNFUHKGFB WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK????????

MY HANDS

MY FUCKING HANDS

THEIR ARE SHAKING

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU MADE ME FUCKING SCREAM WHILE EVERYONE ELSE WAS STILL ASLEEP HOLY SHIT

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW

I'M SO GRATEFUL TO BE FUCKING ALIVE DUDE

A title card teaser for Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024) has released!

SOURCE

[bunnivez]

It’s night right now and all I have been thinking is vampire ptn women. Yes, this is inspired by Diobolike lovers, AS MUCH AS I HATE THE ANIME legit watched it years ago and decided to never continue it because it was so frustrating to me.

Anyway, imagine being lost in the woods after losing your group of friends. You guys were planning on exploring the ‘hunted’ woods for fun, not believing the rumors of the dangers that lurk on the woods and just simply throwing them away with a ‘people are just saying that to scare others’ situation. Unfortunately for you, you lost your group, and the cherry on top? Your battery ran out. In desperation you ran, trying to find your friends or at least find the exit of the woods; but the more you moved the more lost you got.

For what felt like hours of searching you find a large dark mansion deep into the woods. The lights were out, its as if it was abandoned. Part of you was intimidated by it, not wanting to go inside, but on the other part where else could you go? The night was getting dark, and there are no traces of your friends anywhere. With no other choice you knock on the door to see if anyone was inside.

Just when you stopped to wait for any signs of someone being inside, you get knocked out by a mysterious figure from behind. When you wake up, you find yourself inside the mansion, laying on a rather large bed, surrounded by women with.. glowing eyes? They stared down at you so hungirly.

“My my… Looks like our meal is finally awake.” A woman with long red hair and violet eyes said, her eyes flashing red for a second. Meal? What…

You heard another woman let out a laugh; she had short white hair and predatory blue eyes, she was also rather tall, “Look at her, she looks scared and confused, poor dumb girl.” She said the last part lowly, looking you with amusement.

“Oh but she is so pretty..” A woman with black and some pink highlights commented, reaches down to touch your cheek, she was a bit shaky as her cheeks turned a bit red.

“What.. what am I doing here?” You finally asked, too worried of what’s happening and where you are to really care about the stranger touching you. They all smirked, some even chuckling.

“What a naive girl… Dumb enough to wonder around the woods by herself.” A woman with gradient purple and white hair said, completely ignoring your question. Behind her there was a much taller figure, a woman with long hair and icy eyes. She was silent, but god she was intimidating— not like the others weren’t.

The woman with long red hair hummed, “You know… We don’t have to kill her now. It is true she is a pretty little thing. Soft skin, pretty face, oh… I just know you will taste delicious, and such a meal deserves to be enjoyed.” She smiled.

“Hmm, yeah… We can just keep her around for a while, she could make a pretty good slave, letting us drink some of her blood whenever we want.” The tall woman with short white hair smirked.

You gulped, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?

[cattonicdragon]

could you do mantis, tigress, viper, po, shen, tai lung, kai x a white peacock reader that can manipulate all forms of physics? For reference, the White Peacock Reader has the ability to manipulate all forms of physics regardless of laws. Other have sent you this type of question, so I am sending you this type of question. And I love your stuff too.

mantis,tigress,viper,po,shen,tai lung and kai x white peacock reader who can manipulate all forms of physics

I'm glad you like my stuff! And of course I can

Not been proof read yet I just wanted to post it 😭

Mantis

He finds you beauty and grace very admirable

You fight with such ferocity and grace it's almost unbelievable

He thinks that your powers are really cool but also really scary since they dont abide to any of the laws

Meaning you can do things that shouldn't physically be possible

Thinks that your some kind of God or something,maybe you've just been blessed by the gods

Not to much sparing,he fears that hell be crushed before he can even move

He asks to trace the patterns on your feathers(if you have any patterns)

He wonders if your tail can get in the way when fighting

Your fighting style is literally drop dead gorgeous

Saw you phase through a wall once,cant unsee it

Scary for in battle but very useful as an ally

He asks if you know why your white instead of the usually colours

Very curious about you

Your very mysterious

Tigress

She finds your beauty breath taking but remembers during battle not to be distracted

Shes curious of how you got your powers,did you learn them?,if so who was your master?,were you born with them?,does it run in your family?

Lots of questions

Training constantly

You've bested her more times then she cares to admit

She'll say that you cheated

Shes not saying that because she thinks you incapable,shes just saying that to try and mend her wounded pride

Her leg has phased through you and she lost the match because her brain practically stopped working for a minute or so

She likes to stay on your good side,mainly because she genuinely fears your powers

She believes that you can control them well but the things you can do,shouldn't be humanly/animaly possible

She likes to help clean your tail if you allow her

She wonders how you can fight with such a big tail

She fears fears what people will say when she tells them she lost a match to you,so you tell her that she can say you lost sometimes

She finds it scary and impressiv how much you can do,you can control things like the weather,solid matter etc.

She asks about your origins and if there may have been a particular reason as to why you were born as a white peacock with such immense power

Viper

brought to you by the same gif,again

As a previous ribbon dancer she likes to see the art in different peopls kung fu/fighting style,which meand she loved the way you fight

Such precision and beauty

She thinks your way to overpowerd

Like if you wanted to you could legit just walk on water

Dont like cold noodles?,ok lemme just,heat that up for u rq

She likes to stay relatively on your good side

She will ask to put flowers in your feathers,if you allow her to she will be ecstatic

Such a sweet heart

If you give her a feather as a gift of luck she may just pass out

If you have any patterns on your feathers she likes to trance them with her tail or just look at it

Shes scared to get priced by your sharp talons in battle/sparing

Loves your feathers

Shes curious to your feather colour being white but wont dig or think to deep about it

She just puts it down as being an unique quality of yours

Your tail can get annoying every so often

She likes how you input your tail into your fighting style

Po

Your white feathers give him a tad bit of PTSD

He find the way you fight majestical,almost as if hes watching a play

He likes your feather and asks how you keep them so clean

He would be very hesitant with you sometimes due to the fact you remind him of someone

He thinks white suits you

Hes very surprised,fascinated and intrigued apon finding out about your powers

Your powers are like nothing hes ever seen before and he loves it

He likes to have long training sessions with you to try find a weakspot

He wants you to try teach him

Even if you tell him it's your genes and not taught he will still ask,there no hurt in trying

Liked your tail but it is very big

He likes making noodles for you both and sitting under a tree on a rainy day,knowing that your the reason your both not drenched in water

He wonders how you obtained such power and wonders what It would be like going all on out dragon warrior against you

He gets distracted by your feather alot

If you were to ever give him a feather hed treat it like a treasure that needs to be protected at any cost

Likes to watch your methods of fighting because he wants to try doing it himself

Shen

Hes rather shocked apon learning that there another white peacock

And your very powerful

In some ways hes happy that theres another peacock since he wont feel as lonely being the only white one but then again he in some ways feels like that was a huge part of his character

Apon first meeting you he gets extremely defensive and accuses you of being an imposter,even though you never said a single thing

Has alot of curiosity about your powers

Shen will try test your limits and see if you just unleash your powers out of pure emotion,he has morbid curiosity

He likes to spar ALOT

He likes to talk to you about how he created the cannons aswell as what he did to get the result

Hes very clingy and will often hang around you

Should anyone speak bad about you if you dont handle it,he will gladly

He finds a sick kind of pleasure from having so powerfull by his side

He throws firework shows for you

If you are good with close combat he will get a custom commissioned weapon of your choice for you

Tai lung

Although he finds your white feathers beautiful he also feels threatened

The pure reason for this is power

Hes been a star student for so long,the best of the best and you show up and have more power than him

Hes very stand off ish at first

He warms up to you eventually,its just a case of him getting there

He comes to find the brutality and accuracy of your fighting method

He trains with you at any given chance,hes not afraid to fight someone stronger than him and he will most likely go in blind,refusing to learn anything from his opponent

He asks if your methods can be taught and is a bit sulky if it cant

Hes not going to underestimate you by a long shot,hes more likely to overestimate you

He finds you feathers pretty and can momentarily find himself losing focus in training

If you gave him a feather he'd treat it as if it were his life sorce

He believes that when he achieves the dragon scroll you two will finally be even

Kai

Other than oogway he hasnt seen such powerful chi before

Nor has he seen the types of power you weild

Your a mystery at first,a mysterious white peacock shows up one day and has practically limitless power?

Hes going to be after your chi,no doubts

After awhile it's much like having a frenemy

"Still havnt given up your chi,(name)?""still havnt defeated oogway,kai?"

Its can go back and forth like this for a very long time,which it usually ends with you slipping through solid matter to escape

It gets to the point whether hes unsure if he still wants to take your chi

It would give him so much raw power but hes grown...fond of you

Which he hates to admit and probally wont

Once you become acquaintances tho it will turn into sparring seasons often

He brings his jombies out every so often to spice things up

He likes how smoothly you execute your kung fu moves/attacks

However in the end he still technically got what he wanted,just differently

[televised-exorcism]

OMG YALL

Today I bought a real human skull from the curiosity shoppe downtown. He was ONLY 900$ and Ive named him Justin after several boys I've loved (and lost over the year) and I was SO happy on the taxi ride home telling the cab driver about my new skull...

This skull is a gift from my confident, larger-than-life, charismatic af, impossible to ignore, gorgeous, terrifying and powerful as hell 39 year old self to the painfully lonely, inexpressibly creepy mournful 11 year old only-child-with-no-friends-only-books self, because that yanno that disturbed, morbid, lonely little girl is DEEPLY loved by me, and is protected by me, and Cause tbh if we (entitled communist millennials who hate capitalism and know there are better ways) aren't out here healing our inner child, working on processing and healing those inherited traumas and carefully undoing these nasty inter-generational curses, then WHAT are we doin?

Also!!! If I can give one piece of advice:

heal ur inner child, y'all. Yall motherfuckers need this so bad lmao you might not even KNOW how bad u need it but trust me y'all need this shit..

Tbh, I used to be pretty ableist and think the whole 'inner child' shit was some fake-ass, overly sensitive politically correct granola flavored hippie shit, but NO... It is hella real and hella cathartic and beneficial to do these practices..

THERE IS LEGIT HEALING TO BE GAINED from comforting, loving, honoring and bonding with the child inside you, -THE CHILD U USED TO BE- which, like all esoteric mystical shit is eternal and can be accessed at any time.

When I first started to heal my inner lil kid, I would visualize the following: id envision myself as I was at various ages: a redheaded, dirty eight year old, filthy from playing outside, with a smear of jelly by my mouth from the lunch my stepdad made me, or an overweight, awkward 10 year old in a training bra who just wants to fit in and feel normal.. or my an angry thirteen year old self, freshly pulled out of public school (thanks to my rad af mom for that move) and learning to be an UNSCHOOLER, discovering cute boys, and cigarettes, and telling adults snarkily that I wasn't "rebellious" but SUBVERSIVE and watching those same adults grow pale for lack of good response..

So ANYWAY, I take the small, scared, abused, neglected child that I used to be, and i hold that child tight in my arms (in my minds eye)

I Let them sit on my lap, and I Hug them, and I cuddle and I rock that child, and make them feel safe, and seen, and loved and valued. i Tell my lil baby self that I Love them so much, how happy I am that we've made it this far. I promise to them that NOBODY IS GONNA HURT THEM EVER AGAIN, because they got me NOW and then i assure my inner child that it is safe to feel their feelings, that it's okay to cry, and that adult me won't ever betray the child in me that im working to heal.

Ngl y'all... when I first tried to do this work it was uncomfortable and made me sad and Made . Me . FUCKING. CRYYYYY. So hard. Like legit UGLY CRYIN LMAO but you know what?

I LET MYSELF CRY cause I knew that eventually, on the other side of those tears was something better and that all that pain would purge and lead to something precious. and it did.. and you know what the best, most rewarding fuckin feeling is??

Knowing that the 11 year old me that I once was is TOTALLY in-fucking-love with the 39 year old me That I am, and tbh it feels so good to be the person I've always wanted to be: I am confident and unafraid, a lil scary maybe, I love and honor my intuition, I'm tattooed as all hell, I'm dangerous, sexy, mysterious, intimidating, talented, hilarious, kind, willing to act in solidarity with my comrades, I'm beautiful, able to preform feminity without that performance ruling me n having fun while doing it, I'm capable as hell, humble, comfortable and at ease in my skin (and at any weight) I'm glamorous the way my great wise aunties seemed glamorous to me as a child, shockingly intelligent, super quick witted, eager and willing to learn new skills, fun and relaxed company to be around, a college educated lover of arts and music and books, not afraid to try new things, and always honoring myself...

I will be 40 years old in April of 2025, and I've already lived 5 lifetimes worth of doing!! I've been: a clown, acircus preformer, a heroin dealer, a lead singer in a ton of bands, a friendly and reasonable pimp, an alternative model, a part time SW, a burlesque dancer, a professional tarot reader medium and astrologer/, a house wife who was married for a decade, a witch for hire,.. I have legit done And been basically EVERYTHING I wanted to be and do- I wanted to be a good musician so I taught myself to sing and play guitar and ukulele, along with violin, viola and cello, etc.

I wanted to be a successful tattoo artist so I taught myself to tattoo (and now I'm 15 years into a hella fulfilling tattoo career doin what I love)...

I've done so much in 39 years that I'm literally challenging myself to come up with new goals and aspirations and endeavors to learn/conquer cause I've done EVERYTHING I WANTED TO DO. Lol

[lrfanfics]

Poly Cupid (Cupido Poly)

Ladies, gentleman and fellow enbys, we present to y’all the Prologue of our dear fic “Poly Cupid”.

PROLOGUE

POV Castiel 

The last school day, which is also prom day, has finally arrived. During these last 2 years, in this Hell of a place called school, I've been suppressing my romantic feelings about a certain green eyed, long brown haired girl. Her name is Lili and today it'll be the day I finally declare myself to her. 

Because I'm already mentally prepared? 

Not much. 

Because I heard the son of a bitch that is my worst enemy, telling someone that he would be doing the same thing as me today? 

Yes, obviously!

Of course I would never let Nathaniel win. Besides, I'm sure Lili will accept me! Like, has any of you read a fanfic, or seen a show, where the shy nerd wins against the sexy bad boy? No! Of course not! 

* 

"Ahm… I'm… sorry, but I… already like someone else." I opened my eyes, not being able to believe what I had just heard. 

And there I was, with this shitty leash (a tie) that that blonde asshole is always wearing; next to the school's entrance in front of my crush that was oh so pretty, wearing a beautiful dark green dress that reached her knees; under a fantastic night sky, typical of those super cliché romantic films… being rejected. 

 I! 

 WAS! 

 REJECTED!

Me!!! The hot bad boy! 

This shit never happens in fanfics! Usually the bad boys are very lucky in this sort of stuff, especially the music ones like me! 

"Who do you like, then? Ah, I know… Kentin, right?" The typical Childhood Friends into Lovers trope." I gotta find out who's the motherfucker that stole my girl. 

Lili simply looked at me and denied my question with her head, sheepishly.

"Lysander?" Mysterious dudes are also a big thing with girls. 

"No." She said while nodding with her head side-to-side again. 

"Don't tell me you have a crush on the surfer dude?" 

"Ewww… of course not!" Lili said, rolling her eyes and making a disgusted expression.

"What? Let me guess, you like Nathaniel, is it?" 

Pfff! What am I even saying? Like something like that could ever happen! Hahaha! Who the fuck likes nerdy, nice guys? 

Lili visibly tensed up. She then started to move her hands in the air, nervously.

"N—No! O—Of course not! Me liking Nath? What are you even saying! Hahaha!"

Shit! Fuck me and this stupid fucking luck of mine! I would prefer it if she said she liked Lysandre, then it wouldn't be as humiliating as this! And who knows… we could've formed a trio. 

"Lili?" The voice of that blonde dipshit interrupted this humiliating moment. 

I saw her look at him, embarrassed, I think she was scared that he'd heard our previous conversation. 

There was a long silence. They're gazes were completely fixated on one another so much that it almost looked like they were fucking each other just through their vision. This is too much of a humiliation! God, do you really hate me this much?!

"I just wanted to know if you'd like to come dance with me for a little bit… as friends, of course!" He stretched his hand towards her and she placed her hand in his. 

"I would. A—As friends, obviously!" She added, a very noticeable nervous smile plastered on her face. 

Hello!? Don't these bitches see me here or something?! 

"Bye, Castiel! I hope I'll never have to see your face again!" Nathaniel said, grinning, while he took Lili, who was waving me goodbye, as they entered the gym where the party was occurring in.

And I just stood there. 

Alone. 

Rejected. 

Humiliated by that fucking son of bitch, Nathaniel! 

I think my life can't get worse than this. 

I decided to just walk back home, at least Dragon is gonna be there waiting for me. The streets were completely empty and silent, but there was this one sound that caught my attention and was only getting louder and louder, until it… 

AH! BITCH, THAT SHIT LEGIT SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME! 

I almost had a fucking heart attack! Fuck! How are these people able to pass their drivers test!? Can't you see the fucking crosswalk on the ground! They must have bribed the fucking instructor, damn. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND!? CAN'T YOU SEE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CROSSWALK, HUH!?" If my reflexes weren't so good I would've been ran over by this retard. Unbelievable! 

The same car that had almost ran me over abruptly stopped, it's already a little late for that, but ok. When the driver's side door opened, a woman with brown hair and blue eyes— NO… not her, please… anything but this whore!

"I should've guessed! This could've only be your doing, you whore!" I barked in the direction of Debrah. Why is this bitch so obsessed with me!? I mean, what idiot wouldn't be obsessed with me, ain't that right?

 . 

 .

 .

Oh, right.

When I noticed, the bitch was already a few centimetres away from my face while her gaze was fixated on my crouch.

"Hey! I don't know about you, but when I'm talking with someone I like them to be looking at my face while I do it!" I spit.

 … 

Who does this chick think she is to be ignoring me right after almost killing me with her car!? 

I bring my hand up to her head and start poking her with my index finger. 

"Hey stu—" What—!? 

WHAT THE FUCK, MY FUCKING FINGER JUST PASSED THROUGH HER HEAD—!!!? But— The fuck just happened?! I feel like I'm trippin' right now… I knew that I shouldn't have asked that shady looking guy, wearing a leather jacket, for a cigarette!

Suddenly, the world seemed to be spinning around me, making my head hurt, and the beating of my heart accelerate at each breath that I took. Sweat falling down my face. 

I look at Debrah, a disgusting smile plastered on those hoe lips of hers. "Heh. One less cuck… huhm, I better get going before the cops get here." She says, turning her back to me and running away. 

 This hoe really thinks she's that bitch, huh!? 

Huff. I let out a sigh. This is some bullshit… 

While she walked back to her stupid ass car, her last words didn't seem to leave my mind: I better get going before the cops get here. 

Yes, it's true that she almost sent me to a better place, but… I don't feel in pain, or don't seem to have anything broken. She almost aborted my life, ALMOST, but she didn't. So why would she be afraid of the police — besides the fact that they're extremely intimidating — without having committed any sort of crime? Well, none besides being a slut, right?

 . . . 

 Wait

… . . .

A few minutes ago, when my hand passed through her face, that normally only happens when— No… NO!

I gulp and take a deep breath. If this is really happening right now, it could only mean one thing… I turn my head around, slowly, and it looks like my fears have been confirmed… fuck me. There it was, my beautiful sexy body laid on the ground like dog shit. 

It's so depressing that it's enough to make a manly man, like me, cry. I can't look, I don't want to look… but I do— 

Ah! Wait—! 

T—This can't be real, this has to be some sort of very shitty lucid dream! That would also explain why Lili picked that fucking blonde dumbass over me! Because it's impossible for a bad boy, especially ME, to be rejected! HA! 

Ok… enough is enough! Now is time to wake the fuck up, Castiel— 

"Shut the fuck up and take your ass to the tunnel, already." Said a low and raspy voice. 

Excuse me—!? 

I quickly turn my body in the direction of the voice and find myself face-to-face with a dark skinned… and short… man, with dark brown hair and eyes. Hey, wasn't that the man that gave me tha—

TO BE CONTINUED

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 2/?

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note: Y/N - your name, A/N - any name (your best friend’s name)

Warnings: Swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

Welcome Back! I have, once again, written more of Jason Todd because he’s a fucking teddy bear and I love him.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N and Jason both returned from that date feeling all giddy about each other, but trying their dammed-est to not let their hopes get too high about the other. However, that was extremely, extremely hard for Jason to do with family like Dick in his life. It’s like coming home to a hopeless romantic of a shipper as a nosey bitch. Lovingly, of course. No one’s like Dick.

“So, Y/N?” Dick asked Jason immediately as he entered the Manor.

“Yeah, what about her?”

“So, many questions: Was that a date? If no, will there be a date? Is there going to be a second date? Do you like her? Do you think we’ll like her? Does she know you’re Bruce Wayne’s son?” Dick rambled at his little brother.

“Okay hold on god damn, yes it was a date, yes there will be a second, yeah I think she’s cool and I like her, slow your roll Circus Boy, I don’t know when she’ll meet you lot, I don’t think she knows who I am, she’s from Metropolis, so I don’t think she knows the Waynes well.” Jason answered Dick with confidence.

“So you like her!” Steph mocked as she entered the hallway, probably heard her brothers talking about Y/N, so she wanted in on it. Somehow she had evaded Jason’s gaze though, so she startled him immensely.

“Jeez, how many of you will scare me today? And yeah, dumbass, I like her. But I’m doing this magical thing called ‘Not getting my god damn hopes up about her since it’s only the first date’ you hopeless romantic fucks.” Jason barked at them.

“Yeah, but you love us.” Dick said.

“That might be true, but your meddling is only going to cause chaos, Dick and Steph.”

“What about my meddling, Jay?” Bruce asked. Once again, he had heard the talking about Jason’s new crush and decided he’d parent the boy on his girl. Jason jumped out of his skin, because, he had once again, not seen Bruce enter the hallway despite his best efforts to not get startled again.

“You, are going to give me a heart attack.”

“Looks like this girl let your guard down.”

“Can we just go on patrol and stop badgering me?” Jason muttered under his breath.

“Nope!” Barbara exclaimed. Clearly, there’s a pattern with Waynes escaping Jason’s attempts to not get startled today, “We’re still going to badger you, Jay,” Barbara finished.

---------------------------------------

When Y/N made her way back to A/N, she couldn’t help but turn her radio as loud as she could and try to take the longer journey back home. Pieces of quiet and tranquility always surprised and drew her in. Like a good book on a Sunday morning before the rest of the bustling city of Gotham or Metropolis awoke itself. If New York never sleeps, she thought, then what the hell do Gotham and Metropolis call themselves. She laughed.

There were a few good things about Gotham, like the people you’d meet on the street at 4am were some of the weirdest but kindest people you’d ever know. It’s like the city radiated off of the energy of the people in it, and in spite of the villains constantly hitting the city with their worst, somehow everyone never let it get to them. It was admirable. Metropolis was the same in that avenue, but it didn’t feel like the cold Gotham streets.

Y/N thought Jason was one of the kinder people she had met in her travels and classes. And she never thought that she’d meet someone she liked this much in her criminal psychology class of all places, but hey, the universe had different pen strokes for her.

She went and parked her car in the driveway of the rental house she and A/N shared. Only the two of them shared it, but if either of them lost their jobs, they’d be looking for another roommate immediately. Pulling out her bag which was full of notes written by Jason, the original notes written by her, and binders upon binders of criminal cases she was looking into at the time, she would get out of her car and begin walking to her door.

Of course, like most people, she would kick off her heels the minute she walked through the doors of the house, to which, A/N paused her music and went to go question Y/N about Jason.

“So, you know how this works, babes, lay it on me, how’s hottie? Is he kind?” A/N pondered.

“He’s so kind, he paid the printing fees for my notes and rewrote all of them, I guess it’s a system for us now. I write the notes in class while he tries to take it all in, we meet up, and he rewrites them all and pays the printing fee.”

“He paid the fee?! At that college?” A/N said, completely shocked.

“Is that shocking?”

“Well, the printing fees are so fucking expensive, hun. Mans must have daddy’s money to do that.”

“Really? Well regardless money doesn’t matter, he’s kind and I can make a name for myself if I graduate at the top of my class.” She said, fully believing this. Smart woman. She knew she could do it.

“I believe in you, do you have homework tonight? I can make dinner for you so you can study.” A/N offered.

“Nah, I’m just going to go file my notes and shower, I’ll come join you and help after.”

“Well, don’t drown.” A/N joked.

“Do you know how much effort that would take?” She laughed as she walked towards her room, once she got there she pulled out her papers and began the slow filing process of them into her desk.

About 2 minutes into this, she got a text:

Hey stranger.

If someone had a heart monitor hooked up to her, they could have bet their last penny on her heart skipping a beat. 

Hey Jason. She sent back.

I had a fun time today with you, do you want to do the same thing tomorrow, I could use your fast writing skills to get by in classes. And I just like talking to you. What do you say?

She thought. Maybe something legit is here, hopefully I’m not just used for notes. She worried about that, since she was just a tad insecure about him. He was pretty. She knew she was a looker, sure. But he was something more.

I would love to go on another budget date with you.

Budget? Actually yeah, I guess it is budget lol. Maybe next time I’ll actually take you out to lunch like I said I would.

I, honestly, completely forgot you said you’d take me to lunch, I was just having fun as we were talking.

Me too. You’re a hoot.

A hoot? That’s a book nerd statement if I’ve ever heard one. She joked. She didn’t actually know if he was a book nerd at this time, but they had been joking the entire time when she was filing her notes. She was no where near done filing her notes, Jason was a distraction from that, it wasn’t that important, she would end up finishing it later. She just liked some semblance of organization so she didn’t have to put it off.

I’ll have you know I’ve probably read more books than you.

Well book nerds are cute.

Eventually the messages from Jason and Y/N started slowing, Y/N assumed he was tired or working so she took her chance to file her notes and start running her shower.

Sorry Y/N, this has been fun but I’m going to get really sparse with replies, I got work to do.

That’s fine! Where do you work, by the way?

And she got into the shower. Halfway through her shower her phone pinged, she assumed Jason was texting back, so when she finished her shower, before she even got her towel on, she decided to answer him:

I work at Wayne Enterprises with my dad. It’s quite fun.  He had said.

Oh! I’ve heard the owner of Wayne Enterprises is a lovely man, have you met him? She asked him back.

And within an instant, he answered.

He’s my dad, so yeah.

You’re the Jason Todd? Heir to the Wayne Manor and Wayne Enterprises? She started thinking back on what A/N had said. Yep, she thought, Daddy’s money indeed. She started to slip into her pajamas, which were literally a mess and not put together, because this is the real world, not every girl has matching sets, when he answered:

I hope that doesn’t change much, Y/N.

Explains the camera I saw but didn’t mention, and that’s about it.

You saw the cameras? Damn it. I tried to shield you, they may have pictured us together, sorry.

Worth it for a lovely date. I’ve seen worse, my mum works with Clark Kent, who I guess you probably know since he’s Bruce’s best friend, and the paparazzi loves to take Clark’s picture.

Oh yeah, Uncle Clark. Yeah, the pap love him. You get used to it. I guess you somewhat know my family lol.

Nah, that’s about all I know. Wasn’t really interested in drama about you lot because it’s just not my business. Probably not a shared ideal with the general public.

She finished getting dressed and went to go cook with A/N, and share the news.

----------------------------------

“Girl! You were right about daddy’s money oh my god,” Y/N said when she entered the kitchen.

“Go on,” A/N urged.

“You know Jason Todd? Guess what. That’s hottie from Crim Psych 101.”

“Are you serious? That’s insane. You’re probably plastered across the internet right now for that date,” A/N laughed, “are you scared to date a famous man?” She asked.

“No, he’s really sweet and if this gets serious, I can just block out the flashes.”

The two of them laughed and started cooking. A/N was Latina, so, of course, she was in charge to cook most nights. But Y/N made killer desserts and pizza. Tonight was fajitas, so Y/N kind of sat bat and let A/N do her thing. Trying to know more so one day A/N wouldn’t have to do all the work, Y/N went onto the internet and the first thing she saw?

Globally Revered Son of a Millionaire, Jason Todd, out on a DATE with a Mystery Girl?

Like clockwork, Jason answered:

I guess I have a lot to teach you, and I hope you haven’t been on the internet recently.

I have. Globally Revered Son of a Millionaire. She texted back.

Fuck those damn tabloids. He said, she couldn’t help but agree, the paparazzi seem like they’re very invested in stories that aren’t theirs to tell.

Can’t agree with you more. We should put on a show for them tomorrow, actually give them something to write about.

I like your thinking.

You’ve opened up a lot today.

Is it your turn now?

What do you want to know? You asked him before turning to A/N.

“Tabloids talk too much,” you sneered at her.

“Cat should get their tongue and choke on it,” she finished, “did you at least look cute in their pics?” she asked.

“Somehow. Wasn’t even posing,” Y/N finished.

“Well, food’s done, are you still hungry?”

“Always.”

--------------------------------------

Jason turned to his brother, Dick, Nightwing, and said, 

“She knows now.”

“That you’re rich?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess I have to be more wary of her now,” he sighed, “I hope she’s not in it for the Wayne fortune.”

“Doubt she is if she agreed the tabloids can suck it, Red Hood.”

“I pray you’re right.”

He then drew his guns and fired at the ground underneath their laest venture into crime-fighting. This was gonna be one hell of a ride Y/N embarked on, not even knowing what she was getting into.

[liria10]

Favorite Benny books?

Ok so. Tumblr crashed as I was typing this on mobile. I am retyping it on desktop cause fuck this site, and I Have Opinions, and my friend I will let you hear them or so help me!

.... This got. Really. Really long. I am adding a read more to spare you guys from that.

Ok so! As a preface, I haven't read many VNAs with Benny in it, and of her solo books, I still have 2 of her Legion books to read.

I'm going to (re)start this with the VNAs!

Love and War: a very classic answer perhaps, but it is a really good introduction for Benny, even if the book has its flaws and can certainly show its age nowadays. Cornell absolutely nails her right off the bat, and from her very first page, Benny is just a character that keeps you interested. Not only does she work great as a counter to both Seven and Ace, but she also brings a breath of life to the whole range the way only a prose character can.

Plus, I think one of the greatest successes of that book lies in how Benny appears as a rounded and flawed person from the beginning. She’s not your ordinary girl dragged to a whirlwind of adventure and an universe of wonders, but an older, adult woman, with a good chunk of life experience and adventures already behind her, and while setting foot inside the TARDIS opens up a new and unexpected chapter in her life, it does also remain just that. A chapter. Benny had a life before the Doctor, and from that moment, while noone could have predicted it then, she would have one after him as well.

The Left-Handed Hummingbird: I just finished that one last week, so it’s obviously both fresh in my mind, and one I'm thinking highly of at the moment. Well I mean, it’s Orman! Or course I love it. She really is great at writing both intricate, large stories, and yet focusing on the personal, on the human side of things. And I find that this book does a great job at putting benny in the role of the grounding presence both for ace and the doctor, as well as exploring how time traveling as they do, and dealing with seven’s schemes can be frustrating for benny. That whole tardis team is a mess, and none of these people really… work well together, but it’s because they’re so dysfunctioning that they’re fascinating, and orman absolutely nails that.

Theater of War: A very different type of book, it is honestly a fun romp, and it has Benny being an actual archeologist, down to dealing with the academia side of things. And it’s the little things, but I love it when Benny books remember that about her tbh? Also, it has some nice theater theming, and well, as an introduction for brax, it certainly works well! It’s one of those VNAs that I think is just fun. A well crafted story with good takes on the characters, that’s always enjoyable to me!

Return of the Living Dad: Orman again?? What a surprise! But frankly, I love how this book is all about Benny and her daddy issues, be it with the Doctor or well, her actual dad. Between that, her budding marriage with Jason, and finding out so many old wounds reopened, I just. Really love how raw Benny can be under Orman’s pen? How underneath it all, she still has that side of the scared orphan that lost both parents to a war she was far, far too young to ever comprehend, and how that just left her rebelling against the world in general, and resenting deep down her parents for that abandon. I mean, it’s neat character stuff, but it can very easily be written as dull & cliche shitte you know? And Orman really… always get down to the heart of it all, and boi does it make for some great reading.

The Dying Days: It’s a very fun book, and well, technically works as the first round for Benny as the lead woman after all! It’s a joy all throughout, triumphant where it needs to be, and managing to both celebrate the Doctor and what he brought to the VNAs, as well as setting up the stage for Benny to go on to her own range. It’s basically one last run of the old team, and well. I do love Benny & Eight, and yes I am blaming Parkin for it. Also, big brained take to have Eight give her Wolsey because I love that cat and Benny deserves a cute kitty in her life. We all do.

Ok!! Now on to the NA, and my personal favorite era!

Dragon’s Wrath: It’s a fun one!! I do really like the story being centered again on archeology first and foremost, and it’s a good romp that has some really good take on Benny. Especially the trial scenes, I love how those one get down to Benny as someone who despite everything, loves history, and cares very very deeply about the artifacts she uncovers. Also, it introduces brax as a mainstay of the dellah era, and does so in a rather nice way. Overall, a very enjoyable book!

Beyond the Sun: Benny & students stranded on a planet with mystery to uncover, that’s already a fun premise, and then throw in all the various queer themes present, especially with Emile, and the whole scene of them all in drag performing on top of a bus, and it’s just a rather good book. Plus, I love how it mirrors the whole VNA Doctor mantra, except with a very Benny twist. Sometimes cruel, sometimes cowardly, but trying her damndest to do good. And well, that’s just Benny isn’t it? I always harp on about the very heart of Benny being her humanity, and if there’s something that book highlights, it’s that.

Deadfall: Jason takes center stage in this one, and well, I do really love Jason. It’s overall a fun book with some nice lore ideas, and I love how it works Cwej in the whole Dellah setting. Also, at least it’s a story with Jason in the lead that doesn’t end in utter tragedy, and that’s always nice!

Tempest: Ok so. That book isn’t great. The story’s cliche, the characters aren’t the best, and the plot itself? Forgettable, it’s another in the list of “sort of base under siege story in the dellah era” which you’d think wouldn’t be super common and yet! So… why am I listing it here? Cause the concept of the planet!! The idea of a world of storms and disaster, run through via a blind train as the only means of transport? The fantastic animal life described in it??? That book left an impression of me, and that’s not something I can say of all of the others.

The Medusa Effect: … Justin Richard writes a good Benny. Like, legit. I love how that one really works with the setting & history of Dellah, and gives further information on the planet’s involvement with the Dalek war. Plus, it also got some really, really nice aesthetics. I am soft for good aesthetics ok? Benny, dancing with a skeleton on the deck of an old spaceship made to look like a cruise liner in an hallucination/dream sequence type of thing? Sign me right up!

Beige Planet Mars: That one is a blast. I remember just, absolutely loving it when I read it tbh. Between the overall description of Mars, the further Lore Implication of the Mars invasion & all that, as well as it basically being one last round of more… Normal dellah books before everything goes to hell? It’s one i’d highly recommend if you want to have a good time.

Tears of the Oracle: Probably my favorite of that whole range? (apart from dead romance, which I am not counting as a benny book) I love just, how much overall… feelings isn’t quite the words i’m looking for, but i can’t think of a better way to put it… there is throughout the book? It was thought to be the end of the NA as it was written and well, that shows. I love how it weaves the whole mystery of “what happened to that legendary archaeologists?” with the whole side of what’s basically some of the only survivors from dellah going on one last round of discovery. The status quo of the range was destroyed quite a few books before that one, but imo, it’s there that they take the time to stop for a bit, and just. Deals with what that means in actuality. And ngl, I love the entire sequence of Benny & Brax walking through the wreckage of what used to be their home, it’s a scene that works really, really well.

And well, it does a great job at setting up the future as well after all! Yes, there’s still 3 books after it, but when you look at where Big Finish picked up… they went for what Tears of the Oracle was setting up. It really makes the transition flows well between those two, unlike my rambling for a full paragraph before going to “here’s the BF books I like”

The Doomsday Manuscript: A very good start for the range! Not only does it set up the whole collection, but it also introduces the Fifth Axis as a major threat, and does so in a wonderfully well paced book that keeps you hooked throughout. I like how it also sets up Jason’s loss as something Benny is still suffering over, as well as how she hasn’t lost hope in finding him again. Plus frankly, it’s also a really good story.

The Glass Prison: You’d think that for a book where Benny spends the majority of it in prison and not very active due to being near the end of her pregnancy, not much would happen, but the way Jacqueline Rayner builds up an atmosphere of unease, mistrust and a genuine disturbing ambiance throughout the book is just, fantastic.

Genius Loci: This book. This book!!! Ben Aaronovitch writes an absolutely powerful story of Benny as a young woman, lost and finding herself faced with far more responsibility than she ever thought possible. The way he writes the whole mystery, while also making Benny as a 20yo not only believable, but quite distinct from Benny as the adult we’ve all come to know and love is just. So good. My main grip with this book is how abruptly it ends, and how we’ll never get the sequel. I want to read Terra Incognita and more of Benny slowly finding herself damn it!

Dead Men Diaries: Just like Doomsday Manuscript, does a great job at establishing the collection as well as the recurring cast. I really enjoy most of the stories in it, and I think BF started out so strong on those books srsly!

A Life in Pieces: I love it so much. It’s pure brax at his most manipulative, and for such petty reasons. I really like how it both deals with the aftermath of the Fifth Axis occupation, as well as the repercussions Brax’s schemes have for the people living on the collection. Also, it’s just 3 very good novellas in a row that build up to something more, and I always like seeing that.

Nobody’s Children: That book has the best Draconian story in the entirety of doctor who and related. Like, yeah just that. It’s also nice to see the fallout of the Mim/Draconian war. It’s one I didn’t expect a lot out of, and frankly, I ended up really loving it.

The Vampire Curse: The middle novella is one I absolutely hated, but the other two are really good, and mixing benny and vampires is just, very fun. Also!! Predating the Predator is in it, and it is a really good take on vampires in a science fiction setting that also has some nice creep factor as well, and manages to be both a good vampire story, and a good sci fi story, which isn’t always an easy balance to find.

Life During Wartime: It’s a surprisingly hard hitting anthology about living under a fascist regime, and the compromises you have to make, the personal sacrifices and small rebellions. Honestly, there’s a lot I love about it, but certainly one of my favorite moment, is when Benny, having to dine with one of the officers, miss jones & jason, sees that the officer is nearly on to her hiding peter away, and that split second moment of “if I have to, I am willing to kill everyone in this room to protect my son” before he just laughs it off, it’s a lot of tiny moments that build up to a really well done ambiance tbh.

Something Changed: While it did the terrible, terrible sin of introducing Doggles to the world, I really love the concept of every chapter after the first being a different split universe, and how they’re all spiraling more & more out of control. It’s got some really good stories in between too, though they can also be rather hit & miss. An aspect I love about it too is how impactful Wolsey’s death ends up being.

Present Danger: That one is fun, I love how it’s basically everyone vs the deindum, a situation slipping more and more out of control, mixed with some neat stuff one the deindum’s whole temporal deal. It’s again a bit hit & miss, but it’s still a blast, and as the last anthology of the collection era, it does send it all off with a bang.

Welp. Far, far too many words later, and here we are!!! I love Benny a lot ngl, and I genuinely think that prose is the medium best suited for her. I have been rather disappointed with the more modern books, I find them far more bland than what I personally expect from Benny but ah well. Can’t always get everything.

And while it’s neither a book, nor even an official story in any mean, the fanfic “Sepelio” that’s an Hannibal au set in the Dellah era is great, and the benny story I have been enjoying the most lately. I would be remiss not to at least mention it!

[seungstarss]

HI SEI

omfg i just read the latest updates of recall and?? ⁉️⁉️🤨 GIRL WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG W U????? NAURRRR COS MY HEART IS ACTUALLY BREAKING RN THIS IS SO NOT OK 😭😭 I JUST WANT YNWON TO BE HAPPY AND IK I WAS EXCITED ABT FINDING OUT THE REST OF THE PLOT BUT LIKE??? U LITERALLY SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET BC I TOTALLY DIDNT EXPECT ANY OF THAT AT ALL ARE U KIDDING????? OH EM JAYYYYY RECALL IS SO FUCKING GOOD ITS LITERALLY AMAZING BUT MY HEAD IS IN MY HANDS AND IM SHAKING IM QUIVERING IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR A HAPPY ENDING BUT KNOWING U……….

ON A SRS NOTE THO I FUCKING L O V E RECALL!!! SEI how the FUCK did u come up w this like are u joking??? UR BRAIN??? >>>> UGH i’m in love w the storyline like it’s actually so so interesting and i’m just in luv w how nuanced ur characters are :< they all have their backstories and motivations and reasoning behind their decision making which makes it so so immersive to read??? IVE HONESTLY ENJOYED READING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF UR CHARACTERS SO FAR??? all of yn’s friends are so so supportive and cute and bring sm energy to an otherwise angsty asf fic ,, jungwons friends r also legit so cute in their own way and can we talk abt the antagonists too like ????? YURI ???? REI????? THE WAY WE HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE STORY YET BC NOW IM WONDERING WHAT PART YURI HAD IN THE ACCIDENT TOO???? ICB UVE ONLY REVEALED A PART OF WHAT HAPPENED (ALBEIT A BIG PART) AND THERE R STILL 5 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO??? MOMMY COME PICK ME UP IM FUCKING SCARED IM ACTUALLY QUAKING RN 😭😭 BUT HOLY CRAP SEI I RLYL RLLY RLLY RLLY CANT PRAISE U ENOUGH BC BFFIE U ARE DOING THE BESTEST JOB EVER??? I LOGE THE PLOT THE CHARACTERS THE TEXTS THE MEMES THE PACE OF THE PLOT AND THE WAY U GIVE LITTLE CLUES WITHOUT REVEALING TOO MUCH??? UGHHH URE ACTUALLY TOO GOOD AT THIS 😭💗💗

YNWON ARE SO FUCKING TRAGIC. like the fact they secretly liked each other and were super duper close and did everything w each other was CUTE enough, only for yn to find out jungwons secret :( tbf, i’m sure his fake reputation was already in the making before they met (unless i’m dumb and got the timeline mixed up), so it’s not like he could’ve just randomly told her right :((( i mean ofc it would’ve been better to come clean ab it but i get it :((( it makes me so sad to think yn had been wiped of her memories and jungwon was left to toss up between wanting her to remember their best times and not wanting her to hate him all over again :<< THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD 😭😭 i’m actually so sad rn nobody talk to me,,,,, IT ACTYALLY BREAKS MY HEART TO THINK THAT YNWON CAN ONLY GET TGT IF SHE CAN SEE HIS GOOD AND HIS BAD SIDES AND ACCEPT HIM ENTIRELY FOR WHO HE IS??? I WONDER IF SHE CAN SEE PAST THIS ☹️ BUT YN MY LOVE ITS OK IF U DONT…. men aint shit anyway ig 🚶‍♀️

anyway recall 2/10; super interesting love the characters the plot is flawless but?? author is kinda whack and loves to hurt people ?? so yuhhh i’m gna subtract 8 points :>

OML MY FAV MAI!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL OH EM GEE🥺 I SAW YOUR REBLOGS AND I HAD SM FUN REAFING THEM STAHQGQJQ YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME SM SUPPORT THAT I DONT DESERVE 😭😭😭 BUT TY FOR ALWAYS GIVING ME THE CONFIDENCE TO KEEP WRITING AAAA

YES THE MYSTERY OF YN'S ACCIDENT IS FINALLY SOLVED 😭 IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG AND YEAH I BET YN IS FEELING CONFLICTED AS HELL RN LIKE 😭 I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE SOMEONE YOU CARED FOR SM JUST LYING TO YOU :"(((( BUT YESS JUNGWON DID HAVE THIS WHOLE IMAGE THING SET UP ALREADY WHEN HE MET YN :((( JW WAS DEF GOONG THROUGH HELL FLAMES WHEN HE WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT WITH THE MEMORIES :( THAT'S WHY BOY WANTED TO STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS HE COULD,,,, BUT GOSH IT MUST'VE HURT LIKE SHIT TO LOSE SOMEONE WHEN IT WASNT YOUR INTENTION TO BUT IT WAS UR FAULT 😭😭😭 BUT YES 5 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO!! SO LETS SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT 😘😘

MuahHQHAHAH HURTING PEOPLE WUTH MY STORIES IS MY FAV GENRE 🤩

[shirtlesssammy]

1x17: Hell House

Then:

Padiddle!

Now:

Two Months Ago:

Richardson, Texas

Late at night, a group of teens are on a dare to investigate a haunted house. Once inside they find the house’s walls decorated with odd symbols. 

The leader tells the others that “they say that it lives in the root cellar. It goes after girls. Always girls. It just strings 'em up.” They head down there and one guy looks around and jokes about the place. The others look beyond him with horror-stricken faces. He turns to find a young woman hanging by a noose. 

Interstate 35

Present Day

Dean Winchester, Very Serious Hunter, pranks his sleeping brother while he drives. Sam is having NONE OF IT, and warns Dean that the pranks always escalate and he started it. 

He then gives Dean the lowdown on their latest case. The local authorities don’t really believe the kids, but Sam read on hellhoundslair.com about their harrowing adventure and it seems legit. Dean’s skeptical. 

They head to the local malt shop and interview the kids about what they’ve seen in the house. The stories...don’t quite match. They tell them that Craig knew about the place. The brothers then head to the local record shop to interview him. 

They ask him about the Hell House and its history. He tells a story of Mordachai Murdoch and how he killed his six daughters and then himself. His ghost haunts the place, killing any girl that wanders into the house.

He’s freaked out. That dead girl was real and he doesn’t want anything more to do with that house. 

The brothers head to investigate the house themselves. Once inside, Sam breaks out Nerd!Sam and starts talking about the sigils on the walls. Dean recognizes one that Sam doesn’t, but he can’t place it’s origin. 

They hear a noise and find two PROFESSIONALS in another room. (“Professional what?” Dean wonders. “Paranormal investigators.”) 

Meet Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spengler! 

They run the website that Sam looked up. And the brothers see right through their bullshit. It’s a thing of glory. They explain EMF to Sam. I just want to squeeze them if I didn’t hate them so much. They also saw heard a vase fall once in a house. That stuff changes you. 

Sam and Dean leave them to their work. They do their own work and find major errors with the stories floating around the house. Dean thinks the HellHound boys made up the whole thing. 

Sam gets in a minor prank as they leave town. 

That night, more teens arrive at the Hell House. Jill was dared to grab a jar off the root cellar shelves. She heads inside, and down to the root cellar. Once down there she hears a noise and drops the jar she was holding. Panicked, she heads further into the bowels of the basement. 

SNAP. There’s actually a dude down there and he actually hangs her until she dies! 

Sam and Dean check out the crime scene, realizing they missed something. Later that night, they wait until the cops are gone to head inside. While they wait, Howdy and Doody show up. Dean alerts the cops to Harry and Ed while Sam and Dean sneak into the house. 

Armed with their shotguns, they head to the basement. 

It’s gross and basementy, and Dean delivers an Indiana Jones homage as they head through the room: “I hate rats.” Yes, of course you do, my sunshine. The ghost rears up behind them and chucks them out of the house just in time for Ed and Harry to arrive in full ghost hunting gear. 

The Winchesters flee the scene as the cops arrive, and Harry and Ed get cornered by the police. 

Back at their...truly amazing western-themed motel...Dean and Sam examine the facts of the case. It’s strange that the ghost seems to keep changing his MO and appearance! Sam heads to the HellHounds site, where he finds a new post that matches what they saw at the house. Life imitates art imitates life. Or...something like that. 

Looking at the mysterious symbol he re-drew on a piece of motel stationary, Dean has an epiphany. He knows where he’s seen that symbol before! They head to the record store again. There, Dean corners Craig about the symbol he’s been trying to understand - it’s Blue Oyster Cult’s logo. Craig spills everything. Bored one day, he and his cousin decorated the abandoned house to look like it was haunted, painting symbols on the wall from musicians and her theology textbooks. The haunted house rumor got picked up by the HellHounds website, and now a girl’s dead and the house is apparently ACTUALLY haunted. 

Later, Dean sprinkles itching powder in Sam’s pants. BBYS. They head to a diner where Sam lays out his current theory: their ghost is a tulpa, brought to life by widespread belief. One of the symbols in the house was Tibetan, and appears to be powering the tulpa.

Dean wants to know how they’re supposed to kill an idea. (Suggestion: Use Sam’s brain bullets!)

Harry and Ed fret over fame and ghosts in their trailer when the Winchesters arrive. 

Dean demands that they shut down their website. Harry refuses to stop their bold reporting. Their hands forced, Sam dangles a tantalizing “fact” in front of Harry and Ed: Dean hands over Mordachai Murdoch’s death certificate (that they totally forged at a copy shop an hour ago). The cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound. If someone shoots the ghost with, say, a .45 loaded with special bullets, it will kill him. 

Rumor seeds planted, the Winchesters chill out at a diner while they wait for the new belief to take hold. Oh, and Sam superglues Dean’s hand to a bottle. CHILDREN.

That evening the Winchesters storm the house to take out the tulpa. Harry and Ed burst in to record everything. The ghost emerges and the bullets seem to have NO EFFECT. It turns out that after their story got updated, the HellHounds server crashed. So nobody had a chance to read the new lore. Wherps. 

Their fight against the tulpa is going VERY BADLY. 

Dean sprinkles lighter fluid all over the house and they torch the place. If the tulpa can’t leave (according to the lore) then Dean will burn everything down. “Mordechai can’t haunt a house if there’s no house to haunt.” If only the demonic thought-forms of their tattered childhoods could be so easily defeated.

Later, the Winchesters see off Harry and Ed. The ghost hunters are off to HOLLYWOOD to live their best famous life! As they drive away, Sam gleefully reveals that he called them and pretended he was a producer. Sam’s not the only prankster - Dean dropped a dead fish in their backseat.

The Winchesters call a prank war truce (for now) and drive off to the strains of Blue Oyster Cult.

Blue Oyster Quotes:

What's the matter Sammy? Scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again?

Who you gonna call? 

Sweet Lord of the Rings!

WWBD: What Would Buffy Do? 

We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, okay?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[cynergy-laughter]

Obey Me! One Master to Abridge Them All! Ep. 2

2. Run Me Mammoney! (Rated PG-13, so at least one F-Bomb)

You’ve been summoned to the [House of Lamentation] for your move in. State your fave.

MC: *walking up to the House of Lamentation* So y’all live in this house?

Mammon: *leers* No, we live in the forest behind the house. *blocks the gate* if you wanna go through these gates, you’re gonna have to pay me 1,000,000 Grimm to break the spell that locks this gate.

MC: Who are you, Moneybags the Bear?

Mammon: Yes, now pay up.

MC: Nah, I’ll just cheat code my way in. *throws bag over the gate* YEET! *starts bouncing up and down, and swinging their hips left and right*

Mammon: Oh, you wanna dance battle with The Great Mammon!? Alright you idiot, let’s g-!

MC: *appears on the other side of gate* Heh, 3 stars, new record. *picks up bag and walks up to the door*

Mammon: W-W-Whaaaa?! H-Hey! Wait up!

*interview*

Mammon: Honestly, Enn can go back to where they came from. I don’t know why I, the Great Inescapable Mammon, have to watch over some puny, incapable human.

MC: ... He’s just mad that his pants fell down during a dance battle and I took a picture of him. He wears boxers with dollar bill designs on them... And for some reason I think that’s adorable... He’s so cute when he’s embarrassed...

————

Mammon: Now you wait just a minute, human! Do you know who I am?! What I am?! I will devour you without a second thought if you ever try to pull a fast one on me!

MC: *looking at the job on the board* Huh, Hell’s Kitchen, Help Wanted... I wonder if Gordon Ramsey is an exchange student here....

Mammon: Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you!

MC: *turns to him* Alright, what do you gotta say?

Mammon: I’m not doing this because Lucifer scares me! I’m the Great Mammon, nothing scares me!

MC: There’s a guy behind you.

Mammon: What did I say about trying to pull a fast one on me, huh?!

Levi: MAMMON!

Mammon: *screeches and jumps up in MC’s arms*

MC: ... *holding Mammon* Nothing scares you huh?

Mammon: Shut up!!

————

MC: So, he must be the Avatar of Envy, right? I only assume so cause he’s actually standing on his two feet right now.

Mammon: yes, this is Leviathan, third oldest.

Levi: Don’t change the subject, Mammon! Where’s my money? The money I lent to you?!

Mammon: ... I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Levi: Oh sure Mammon, you can buy yourself new Gucci shades, and new shoes, but for some reason you can’t get me my dang money!

MC: *blinks* shoulda shopped at Payless.

Mammon: I’ll get it to you, I just need more time, like give me one more week...

Levi: You said that twelve times in the last 4 weeks Mammon, either run me my money, or run out of this house!

Mammon: Uhhh... Look, Beel’s about to eat your goldfish!

Levi: Whhhhaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!?! BEEL NO! *turns around, frantically, but then stops, and turns around slowly, Mammon was gone, MC was left behind*

MC: ... Well, congratulations, you are now in the running for the Moron of the Year Award. *claps*

———— In Levi’s Room ————

Levi: You ever watched anime before?

MC: I’m into Fruits Basket, love the manga, Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Durarara, my favorite is My Little Monster.

Levi: ... Normie. you haven’t watched reeeeal anime before.

MC: ... Oh great, just what I needed, a beardless neck.

Levi: If you want to get into some good stuff, you’ll want to get into The Tale of the Seven Lords.

MC: Yeah... whatever you say...

*interview*

Levi: There is no way I would ever want to hang out with someone like Enn. A textbook poser, and worst of all, a human! There is no way they would ever have enough culture to even be considered as one of my friends. But regardless, I need Mammon to give me my money back... so I enlisted in their help... to find a way to get my money back. For the record, this is strictly business.

MC: I agreed to helping him, cause, I don’t really have anything better to do... don’t have friends here, I might as well be the new kid on the block. But Mr. Gatekeeper thought he was cute to call Cardcaptor Sakura, Fruits Basket, and My Little Monster normie anime, so I sharpied one spot on one of his figurine’s teeth, I’m not telling him which one, and I wanna see how long it takes him to notice. Talk bad about me all you want, but I’d die before I let some obscure otaku talk trash about Sakura Kinomoto, Tohru Honda, or Shizuku Mizutani. Three strikes and get wrecked, scrub.

————

Demon1: So, you’re the new kid, huh. You don’t look like much.

Demon2: Yeah, you look like you got fear in your heart. And I think fear is delicious...

MC: *takes out Vaseline, puts big slab of it on their hand while they’re talking, and trying to intimidate, and slaps both of them at the same time*

1 & 2: AH! My face! It’s burning!

MC: *prepares another Vaseline slap* Y’all still here? I guess you want this next one to go lower and straight up, huh?

1&2: Aiieeeeee!! *runs*

MC: Yeah, get running! Next time, buy me dinner before you call me! Ain’t nobody got time to be dancing, the bell’s about to ring.

Solomon: Well well, the celebrity is addressing their adoring fans

MC: *blinks* Oh great it’s the Goblin King from the Labyrinth.

Solomon: Fiesty, you’re gonna need that in the Devildom. I’m Solomon, I’m the other human exchange student.

MC: You have no power over me you sonuvabitcj!

*interviews*

Solomon: A bit belligerent, but I sense good things from them, they have a bad temper, but I think things are gonna be a bit interesting around here...

MC: ... “How do you do, my fellow classmates?” Like who is he trying to fool? For someone who tries to give off a wiseman vibe, he just gives off Solomon from Lord of the Rings, if he found the Fountain of Youth. I don’t trust him as far as I can spit on him, and I don’t want to spit on him, I feel like he’d actually have a way to control me if I did.

————

Lucifer: Well, it seems you managed to survive the night, maybe you will be a promising exchange student. We’re you just talking to Solomon?

MC: And a good morning to you too... and you mean Chris Angel Jr. over there? Not really talking, so much as making a cross with my fingers at a skeevy looking guy.

Lucifer: Well, do not trust him, there’s something about him that’s off...

MC: Oh good, I’m not the only one... umm, by the way... what’s the deal with Mammon? Who exactly is he?

Lucifer: He’s the scummiest scum on this plane of existence.

MC: I mean yes, but I was more refering to what is his motivation in life, what is one thing he can’t function without?

Lucifer: ... Seriously? You haven’t figured it out yet?

MC: I just didn’t know if it was something else... I mean... where does he even get his money? He doesn’t strike me as someone who has a steady job. That’s more your Avenue.

Lucifer: As much as that flatters me, my job is to be Diavolo’s right hand man.

MC: You legit have the work ethic to get any job you want and have more money than Mammon.

Lucifer: Now you’re just stroking my ego. Well, having more money than him will always be true, cause I had his assets frozen.

MC: You don’t say? Well, at least his Credit Score is getting a break...

Lucifer: Let’s just say, it’s having a good long cry...

*interview*

MC: Lucifer is very strict on his brothers, but I saw that glitter in his eye when I was complimenting him. He really is the Avatar of Pride. And you cannot convince me that Lucifer and Diavolo aren’t at least dating... I’m about to Scooby Doo this mystery. And I got a year to sniff out the truth. As Sherlock Holmes would say, the game is afoot.

[365days365movies]

May 9, 2021: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) (Recap: Part One)

Welcome to the future.

At this point, we’ve mostly looked at the past, present, or the near-future (as in, the next ten years, if that). Additionally, we’ve looked either at nonexistent technology in a contemporary setting, or an extension of existing technology taken to a logical next step. But no more. No more realism, no more real-world rules, and nothing that we’re even close to in this reality.

Well...mostly.

That’s genuinely impressive, not gonna lie. Anyway, yeah, from here forwards (for a bit), we’ll be looking at the future and futuristic technology. Now, there are a couple of ways in which these films tend to go. The first big way that we tend to represent the future in film is the same way we always have: flying cars, futuristic technology, smart houses, and robots.

Now, there are countless examples of this future, and it always changes a bit depending on the present. Which, yeah, makes sense. After all, what I’m doing right now, at this moment, would’ve been seen by many people as a massive technological achievement, even around the time that I was born. Which, yes, I’m old, deal with it (because I can’t). Anyway, the way that this begins is with the first major filmed view of a seemingly idyllic future: Fritz Lang’s 1927 film Metropolis.

The overly mechanized (and politically dystopic) society seen in this film, as well as the visuals and technology, would inform our ideas of the future throughout the next century. Multiple themes and common objects reoccur throughout futuristic fiction. You know the stuff I’m talking about. Flying cars, automatic food machines, robotic assistants, video watches, holograms, jetpacks, so on and so forth.

But here’s the thing about the future. It’s always ahead of us, and eventually...well, we’ve gotten to most of those things to some degree. Either they already exist...

...or is currently being developed.

Well, one of them we’re still working on. And the development of more advanced AI is something we have yet to perfect, or even fully develop. However, the development of A.I. (and the consequences of that technology) are ALL OVER science fiction. Sometimes, they’re merely used for flavor to help establish the futuristic setting.

Sometimes, they’re characters with their own agency and conflicts, which may or may not define the plot. In these cases, they’re often simply there to back up the main human characters, and help with their development, and sometimes their own. You know, manic pixie dream robots.

And then, possibly most often, they’re the abject villains of the piece. they can be mysterious alien technology, like in The Day the Earth Stood Still, or a man-made danger that turns on the race that created and/or abused it.

But then, on occasion, an A.I. is given the chance to develop as a character, without being used to define the development of a human character. Sometimes, the question of what life truly means is raised through these characters, and we become attached to them outside of any other character. This isn’t nearly as common as the others, but it’s definitely not unheard of.

And for the record...things don’t often go well for those AIs. But still, some of those characters have quite a lasting impact. So, there’s quite a lot of potential for this type of character, from a dramatic standpoint. And that potential leads us to the guy who made this.

I WILL MAKE A JURASSIC PARK REFERENCE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

Steven Spielberg gives us today’s entry, and this director of a classic science fiction story about science gone awry teamed up with the director of a science fiction film where an artificial intelligence went awry. You know, this thing.

I didn’t forget about HAL. And I won’t forget about him later, either.

Director Stanley Kubrick is pretty well-know for his mind-bending films, especially The Shining and 2001: A Space Odyssey. But he also worked with Spielberg on this film before his death in 1999, as this was one of his dream projects for many years, and the two directors were well-known friends.

And so, eventually, Spielberg was given the reins from Kubrick, and results were...mixed. It’s funny, because I’ve never actually seen this movie, but I remember it through its surprisingly widespread ad campaign. I used to go to NYC as a kid a lot, and there was a massive building-side plastered with the iconic logo of this movie. So, I’ve been hovering around this movie for a long time. Enough navel-gazing!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (Part One)

It is, unsurprisingly, the future. A marrator informs us that climate change has caused the ice caps to melt, and global flooding drowns several countries. You could say that it’s a...Waterworld.

I genuinely considered watching that movie at some point, and then I decided I liked myself to much to watch 2 hours of Kevin Costner’s emotionless acting. Granted, it’s not much better now, listening to the emotionless acting of...

Professor Allen Hobby (William Hurt) is a straight-up sociopath. OK, technically, he’s a robotics engineer, but dude’s making a speech, right? He talks about how far robots have come, dissing my boi Deep Blue in the process, and notes that pain-memory response can also be demonstrated by robots. He proves this by stabbing a woman in his audience, like RIGHT through the hand. Jesus, man! Why the hell would you do that?

Oh. Holy shit, I got fooled. Advanced technology indeed. But OK, so Sheila’s a robot, and a very advanced one...to us. But Hobby wants more, and proposes to his workers to make a robot that can really TRULY love. And through love may come a true subconscious, which means making a robot that can dream. And what better robot to make than a robot child? After all, all child conception requires a license in this futuristic world, so many childless couples are yearning for a child.

Which is why, twenty months later, the first robot child is offered to Henry and Monica Swinton (Sam Robards and Frances O’Connor), a couple...with a child. Um. Guys. You JUST SAID that there are legit childless couples who need a child, and those people would be best suited to love that robot child back (a VERY GOOD question raised by one of Hobby’s subordinates). So why give it to a couple whose son is still alive? Yeah, he’s got a rare disease that they don’t have a cure for yet, and is currently in cryostasis, BUT THEY HAVE A KID! Surely, that’s going to be a potential emotional conflict! And what if the kid wakes up or some shit? This is a TERRIBLE goddamn idea. Think this shit through, guys.

And yet...

This is David (Haley Joel Osment), Cybertronics’ first child robot, brought home by Henry to essentially replace their son. Which is AMAZINGLY FUCKING TONE-DEAF AND INSANE, GODDAMN. That’s extraordinarily messed up. And, for the record, I totally get what Spielberg’s going for, but Jesus Christ, man. This was a terrible way to go about this. And it gets fucking WORSE.

See, Henry (who actually works for Cybertronics) tells Monica that, once they sign the papers and complete the updates, David will imprint on them and see him as their true parents, loving them unconditionally. Which...yeah, fuck, that’s an entire DUMP TRUCK of ethics issues right there. And, while we’re at it, David is...creepy as shit. I mean it, dude, Haley Joel Osment is a VERY good child actor, but he’s laying on the creepy robot child thing THICK. And yeah, this is BEFORE he imprints on them. Jesus fuck, man, there’s a scene where the still uncomfortable Monica is outside of a glass door, and he looks back at her THROUGH THE DOOR like a goddamn SERIAL KILLER.

And I gotta tell ya, dude does not lay off that creepy-ass dial one iota. And for that matter, the music by John Williams ISN’T FUCKING HELPING. LISTEN to this shit, and imagine a robot child that you don’t know wandering around your house. It’s amazingly fucking creepy.

AND IT JUST. KEEPS. GETTING. WORSE. There’s a scene where they’re all at dinner, right, and David’s just staring at them as they eat, mimicking their actions. After all, he’s a robot, he can’t actually eat or drink anything because of his internal working. And then, out of FUCKING NOWHERE, he starts laughing like the FUCKING JOKER, and it scares the EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF ME. And somehow, they laugh alongside him, in the never-ending Stockholm syndrome that is this movie! And as soon as its over, he just STOPS laughing, spontaneously. Fuck me, man, I’m tempted to stop watching here and now, and I’m only TWENTY MINUTES IN! I need a fucking break.

And after that...OF COURSE she decides to activate his imprinting protocols to make him, let me remind you, LOVE HIM FOREVER! She reads out a series of words, and after “FREIGHT CAR”, he knows his mission is to kill the Prime Minister of Sokovia. But first, he’ll settle down and love Monica unconditionally (again, FOREVER), calling her Mommy and making me shit my pants in fear. IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS FUCKING DAVID

Oh, and by the way, isn’t it kinda shitty to do that without Henry being involved AT ALL? Like, cool, he has unconditional maternal love, but Henry wasn’t a part of that conditioning at all! And he still refers to him as “Henry” instead of Dad! However, Henry definitely doesn’t care about that, because he still sees David as only a robot. Hey, guys, maybe using these two as your first experiment with a robot child WAS A TERRIBLE FUCKING IDEA, YOU IDIOTS! No wonder William Hurt was cast as Thunderbolt Ross in the MCU. Already shown he can play a character with shitty ideas before.

Anyway, after this terrible series of events, David prevents the parents from leaving one night due to his childlike antics. When Monica goes to comfort him, he asks how long she’ll live, and tells her that he hope she never dies, a COMPLETELY NORMAL THING TO SAY. Look, I get that he’s a robot, but only a goddamn emotionless sociopath would program emotional responses like this into a robot. Which, given what we’ve seen of Hobby, makes sense.

In response, she gives him Teddy (Jack Angel), a technologically advanced teddy bear with sentience, a personality, and the voice of Astrotrain from The Transformers TV series. Because, yes, I am THAT MUCH of a goddamn nerd.

Soon after, the house gets a phone call, which David receives...literally. He takes the phone and allows it to speak through him. It turns out that, shock beyond shocks, THEIR SON IS CURED! Yeah, fuck. Maybe giving David to a family with a STILL LIVING SON is a fucking ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE IDEA, for about a thousand reasons.

And, fucking understandably, Martin Swinton (Jake Thomas) is a little upset to find out that he’s essentially been replaced by a robot kid. Although, to be fair, he’s also kind of a dick to David, holding his humanity over him and treating him as a toy that he attempts to manipulate and bully. My Lord, this is a massively stupid idea. And Martin immediately shows his dickishness by asking his mother to read Carlo Collodi’s The Adventures of Pinocchio to them. Which is meant to be a punishment for Pinocchio. However, of course, David loves it.

Still, however, there’s trouble in paradise for David, as he tries to compete with Martin for being a real boy, and eats spinach at dinner one evening. Despite Teddy’s mildly ominous warning to him (”YOU WILL BREAK”), he keeps eating until he basically has a stroke and breaks, forcing him to be repaired by some of Cybertronics’ technicians. Monica has a bit of a break down as a result, which Martin notices. This causes Martin to go pure supervillain, manipulating David to do creepy things in order to insert doubt into Monica about David. Jesus, Martin’s a creepy kid, too. No wonder Monica grew to be cool with David, her actual son is a FUCKING SOCIOPATHIC MONSTER! Are there ANY truly normal people in this world? IS THIS WHAT THE FUTURE IS?

Martin convinces David to cut a lock of Monica’s hair while she’s sleeping. And lemme tell ya, a little boy holding scissors over someone while they sleep is not exactly comforting. Henry agrees, and after stopping him, believes that they need to return him. Monica disagrees, knowing that they’ll destroy him if brought back. But David, ever the semi-sociopath himself, ignores any signs of humanity in David and dismisses Monica's feelings for him entirely. He also says this thing about “IF HE CAN BE PROGRAMMED TO LOVE, CAN NOT HE BE PROGRAMM-ED TO HATE?”, which...no. No, he cannot. He didn’t learn to love, he was programmed to. And, again, that’s ethically FUCKED, but taking that into account...no. HE WASN’T PROGRAMMED TO HATE, HENRY. Goddamn, buddy, use your head here.

It’s Martin’s birthday, and his friends at the pool party expose David to the fun world of anti-robot (or Mecha) racism, and test to see if he has Damage Avoidance Systems by threatening him with a knife. And he does. Buuut, when those systems kick in, he goes to the nearest point of safety to keep himself safe. That point is, unfortunately, Martin, whom he gets behind...and accidentally drags into the pool.

Thing is, because of Martin’s recent illness, he can’t exactly swim, meaning that David almost drowns him. When Henry and other partygoers go to save him, they abandon David in the pool completely. And now, David’s fucked. Because although this situation isn’t even a little bit his fault, he also just nearly killed Martin. And so, after seeing notes that he’s been writing to her, Monica offers to take for a “ride in the country”. Which definitely means something good. In reality, she’s planning on taking him back to Cybertronics. But once in the car, there’s a change in plans. And hear me out...it’s arguably far more horrifying.

She decides to abandon him in the woods completely, despite how hard it is for her to leave him. She’s sparing him from death, sure, but also throwing him into a world he doesn’t understand, and for reasons that he doesn’t understand. It’s genuinely terrible. And then...yeah, she leaves him forever, to an uncertain future.

End Act One.

I think this is a good place to stop. It’s early, and I need more coffee to handle this shit. See you in Part Two. Of Three. Yup. It’s a long one.

[the-fiction-witch]

Clone

REAL LIFE: SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SMUTTISH SUGGESTIONS

"Hello everyone and welcome to this bullshit idea I had at five in the morning and instantly went online to buy something I do not need or want, but am going to make a age restricted video on it anyway." she smiled as she stood in her kitchen with some tools on the table Thomas beside her having a cup of tea seeming confused why he was even there. "So first things first. Thomas"

"Yes y/n?"

"Get your pants off Thomas"

"Way ahead of you y/n" he says sipping his tea

"Ohh I see" she says looking down at him however everything below there waists was hidden behind her kitchen island

"Yep."

"Did you do that while I was making your cup of tea?"

"Yes I did"

"why?

"when have you known me to wear pants at your house?

"That's true" she sighs "Next step" she says looking at some instructions on the table "Take your underpants off"

"Hu?"

"Take them off"

"... so just straight up. Get my dick out?"

"Yep." she laughs "Get your dick out"

"You should probably explain the video because this is a weird opening"

"I doubt any one is going to complain"

"Still"

"It'll make senses as we go on"

"You hope"

"How long does it take you to get your underwear off?"

"I didn't know I was doing this, these are hard to get off, Plus I'm trying not to let the camera see... or you"

"why? I have seen your dick lots of times."

"Still...

"Honestly Thomas I see it so much it's not even excited anymore"

"Awww am I not exciting?"

"not really no"

"Right What are we doing?" He asks handing her his underwear  "why am I naked from the waist down?"

"My enjoyment"

"This is weird. I do not like this."

"You don't like being whinnie the pooh?

"I very much am whinnie the pooh right now. what are we going to do?"

"We are cloneing your dick"

".... We're what?"

"we are going to use some science to make a clone of your dick"

"Sooo.. what are you gonna do with the clone of my dick?"

"That's none of your business Thomas"

"What are you going to do?"

"sell it on eBay probably" she laughs "Right lets mix some Goo!" she laughs throwing some equipment on the table

"Gooooo! I wanna mix the goo"

"No goo for you"

"For explanation we are actually following the direction we may skip some and also edit for jokes but this isn't like barbie was are actually doing it, Do not... copy me"

"I could have kept my pants on if I knew it was going to take this long"

"You complaining?"

"No." he shrugs "I am very happy we are not doing this drunk as you first suggested"

"why? you scared I'll burn your dick off?"

"A little bit yeah. this is legit science"

"It is, why did you come and join me then?"

"For reference. Y/n popped her head around my kitchen door while I was making a coffee and just said 'Hi Thomas I found a thing online, and I need to borrow your penis'"

"My exact words"

"Yes, and as any man with a functioning brain. I dropped my coffee and came over"

"As any man would"

"as anyone with a Penis would" He says "Anyone who hears the words ' I need to borrow your penis', You will hear that so few times in your life don't ask questions just go"

"I could have needed your penis for voodoo?" she laughs "Or... like to squish a bug"

"Or I could get a blow job." He shrugs "That's the risk you take when you run over to someone asking to borrow your penis."

"Sometimes it's blow jobs. Sometimes it's voodoo"

"You have to accept it" he shrugs "Are you in need of me yet?"

"Yes." she smiled as she filled a tube with goo "Stuff your penis in this tube"

"....Okay" He shrugs

"I love how you are all for this completely sober"

"I am strangely" he says taking the tube under the table

"Kick up a fuss about being handcuffed on camera, But stick your dick in a mystery tube on camera. Hell yeah" she laughs

"Ahhh you overfilled it, It's leaking out the sides of the tube"

"You're dick or the goo?" she laughs

"The goo" He sighed

"Would you like assistance?"

".... Yes I would sweetie darling" "Shut the face Thomas. shut it" she says moving under the table enough so only the top of her head was visible "Know one gif this! or I swear I will murder you all!"

"Having fun down there?"

"Shut up!" she complained "If you dare make a porn face up there I will actually bite your dick off." "I'm not doing anything... just standing here"

"You lean like lot to the left"

"I do"

"That's weird. You have a weird dick"

"... thank you."

"You're welcome" she smiled jumping up again "I love how we are that comfortable that I was literally like inches from your dick and you didn't give a shit"

"Know here you haven't been before darling"

"Stop it! you'll make people do the shipping"

"why is it called shipping?"

"Ohhh... ohh sweetie. There is not the time today" she says petting his hair "Right that should be ready now does it feel solid?"

"Uhhh... I don't know."

"I can poke it so yes!" she laughs taking the tube and putting it back on the table "You may mix this goo"

"wooo!"

"You may also put your pants back on"

"You mix goo I will put my pants back on, Where did you throw my underwear actually?"

"I didn't I just put them in my pocket"

"My underwear fits in your pocket"

"Yes it does. Make of that what you will at the size of thomas' penis. Or my pockets for that matter" she laughs "Now we poor the fucking radioactive green goo into the thing and theorecticly it will make the goo go in the shape of your dick"

"You've gonna have to blur that"

"I am,"

"Why is it green anyway?"

"There was three colour options on the product from where I bought it, One was like an orangey colour they called white which is the colour that you think of when you think of like flesh coloured vibrators and such its that not real flesh colour, then you could have one they called black which was very much the same thing but you know, I don't feel I need to explain. and they for one pound more you could buy one that was in as they called it radioactive green and will also glow in the dark"

"So we are making a glow in the dark vibrating replica of my dick?"

"Yes we are"

".... why would you want a vibe to glow in the dark?"

"so you can find it when you inevitably drop it in bed"

"Not a good idea though for hiding them?"

"Yeah that's true." she shrugs shoving the vibrator in the top "Right now this will take twenty four hours so... we will reveal to only us tomorrow,"

"Tomorrow"

"Now lets go play Pokémon"

[ashtraythief]

I would love to see how Dani and Jared met. Or more about Dani and Jensen's first meeting in the vent. Love this verse!!!

Thank you so much, nonnie! Many apologies for this incredibly late answer. I left this one unanswered because I am planning on writing a meet cute between Jared and everyone in his crew. Obviously, so far I have not succeeded. Going back to my asks, I finally wanted to tackle this. But I was dumb. I’ve grown so attached to the Chad in this verse, even though all the other meet cutes were in the pov of the person Jared was meeting, I started writing Chad POV. And I do want to explore Dani’s story from her POV. Because there’s much more to her story with Jared and why she became loyal to him. But that took some time. So. Here’s the snippet I wrote from Chad POV, at some point I’m hopefully going to rewrite that into Dani’s full story and post it to ao3. But who knows when that will be so have this snippet for now!

------------------------------------------------------------

[Takes place at the beginning of Jared’s last year at Stanford]

The first time Jared really needed to hire an assassin was when he needed an international smuggler gone. He was interfering with Jared’s business. Both Mike and Chad were excellent at their jobs, of course, but their Spanish was rudimentary and they didn’t have the experience to navigate the Venezuelan country-side where the guy was hiding out in his fancy mansion.

So Chad asked around. Harris came highly recommended, especially if you needed work done in Europe or South America. 

They agreed to meet at the Red Room, which was a club way fancier than they usually hung out in, but Jared wanted to make a good impression on this world-class assassin and not meet him in the back-room of a dingy dive bar where they'd been conducting business for two years now. And the booze was better in the Red Room. Just like the view. Fuck, there were a lot of hot girls in short skirts in here.

Chad was trying to watch the door, but really, there was this cute redhead at the bar, with a rack to die for and she was smiling at him and fuck it, they had another half hour until their meeting. Chad could buy a girl a drink.

They flirted, a lot, and Chad really thought he was doing well there until time was running out.

“Sorry,” he said, waving at Jared to indicate that yes, he was giving up a potential hookup for meeting an assassin, “but I have a meeting. Any chance you'll still be here in an hour or so?”

She raised her eyebrows sharply and her cute button nose scrunched up. “Do I look like a girl who’s going to sit in a club for an hour alone?”

Chad looked her up and down, slim figure with spectacular curves in all the right places wrapped in a tight, dark green dress. He sighed. “Sadly, not at all.”

She cocked her head. “You know, that is the first genuine thing you’ve said to me all night.”

“What?” Chad stared at her. “I haven’t lied to you.”

She huffed. “Not lied. But you’ve been hitting on me with a very bad plan and cheesy lines from the start. Like it’s just a game.” She leaned forward and poked a finger against his chest so hard it actually hurt. “And I went along with it because you’re cute and I had to pass the time. And maybe because I wanted to see if you had an honest bone in your body.”

Chad smirked. “I definitely have an honest bo—” 

Her finger pressed against his lips. “Do not finish that sentence.”

Chad swallowed. Hard.

She pulled back with a sigh. “Men. You’re all pigs at heart.”

Chad opened his mouth in protest, but she was already drawing back. “You’ll have to excuse me, I have to go freshen up. You’re not the only one on the clock.”

Then she turned around and walked away with swaying hips. Entranced, Chad watched her long legs and her pert ass and wondered what the hell had just happened to him.

He went back to the booth Jared was sitting in. He’d found his own entertainment, a guy with blond curly hair who was very admiringly stroking Jared’s shoulders. When Chad had met Jared, he’d already had the broad shoulders but was still on the lean side. He’d bulked up the last few years under Rosey’s tutelage and a lot more chicken on the meal plan. And guys seemed to love it.

Jared looked up at Chad and sighed. He leaned into the guy sitting next to him who pouted at whatever Jared said. But the guy leaned in to give Jared a pretty filthy kiss—Chad knew the one, it was the don’t-forget-about-me one—and Jared watched the guy’s ass as he walked away. Well, there was a reason why they were friends.

“So,” Chad said and plopped down next to Jared. “Where’s our mystery assassin?”

“No idea,” Jared said. “But Tom said Harris blends in well. He only said that Harris looks way too innocent for an assassin.”

Chad smirked. “Like the guy who was just up here with you.”

Jared shot him a glare, then he looked past Chad and grinned. “Or the cute redhead you were just flirting with.”

Chad twisted around and there she was, long-legged and smirking. “Wow. I did not see that coming.”

“She’s good then,” Jared said.

Chad rested his hand on his chin and took her in, looked for the clues he had missed the first time. It had been a long time since he’d misread someone so badly. 

She was slim, but there were long muscles under her light skin and a hint of biceps. She balanced well in her high heels, and Chad caught a glimpse of a light scar next to her knee. Her hands were small, but strong. Not soft or delicate. Sure, the red nail-polish distracted, but now Chad saw the calluses on her palm. Damn. He really needed to stop getting distracted by his dick. 

“She is very good,” Chad said.

Harris walked into the booth and raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re not. You know, Mr. Padalecki, if this is the best you have, then I don’t know if we should do business.”

Chad gaped at her. “Wow. Rude.”

Jared’s eyes narrowed, then he picked up his glass. “Chad has other qualities. But if he were a top-class assassin, I wouldn’t need to talk to you.”

“Flatterer,” Harris said.

Jared smiled, popping his dimples. They didn’t miss their effect on Harris, she visibly softened.

“That’s not my style, Miss Harris.” Jared pointed at the couch across from him, right in Chad’s line of sight. “Please, have a seat.”

She sat down, crossed her long legs, dress hitching up a few tantalizing inches, and picked up an empty tumbler. Chad took the bottle of whiskey and poured her a glass. He could see the edge of a black garter belt under the hem of her dress, tightly circling her upper thigh and probably holding a knife or gun.

She shot him a look under her dark lashes, half-smug, half-apologetic. “Other qualities, huh?”

Chad grinned because he never could pass up on an opportunity. “I can show you later.”

Harris huffed. “Alright, Mr. Padalecki, tell me why I should work with someone who’s lieutenant is that human disaster.” She pointed her glass at Chad.

“You know,” Chad said, unreasonably charmed by her insults, “most people are scared shitless of me.”

“An indignant meerkat?”

Okay, enough was enough. Chad pulled his knife out of his back pocket and had the switchblade open and at the inside of her thigh, right over the black weapons garter, on top of her femoral artery before she could flinch. Her hand closed around his wrist with surprising strength for such a small woman, but Chad was pretty sure he’d come out on top in this particular encounter. Her eyes narrowed in reluctant respect.

“Most people underestimate Chad,” Jared said and there was a proud smile in his voice. “Think he’s stupid. Just like they think I’m young and harmless.”

Slowly, Harris looked back at Jared. 

“We liked it that way for a long time, it helped build the business without us getting bothered. But now, we need a shift in strategy.”

“People are catching on to how dangerous we really are,” Chad said, increasing the pressure of the blade. 

“At least here in the city, where they can see what we do,” Jared added. “But it takes the stories a little longer to spread to the far corners of the world.”

Harris leaned back, resting one arm along the backrest of the couch, seemingly unconcerned by the knife Chad still had to her leg.

“So you want me to spread your reputation?”

Jared nodded. 

Harris looked down at Chad’s knife. “I think that’s unnecessary. You made your point.”

Chad left it there for another beat before he pulled it back.

“I have a going rate and I don’t give discounts for cute dimples,” Harris said. “I agree to a contract, I follow through, always. If you double-cross me, you’re a dead man. I will never let someone buy their way out of a hit, but if you skimp on payment, you’re a dead man. See a pattern?”

“I do. It’s why I contacted you.”

Harris pursed her lips. “Where exactly would you want me to go?”

Jared handed her a piece of paper with the name and the address.

Harris took the paper. “That’s a long way.”

Jared nodded. “It’s why I called you.”

“What did he do?”

“He’s interfering with my shipments.”

“You know,” she said slowly, taking another sip of whiskey. “I’ve never heard of you before. I had to ask around for someone to tell me you’re legit.”

Jared nodded. “I try to avoid law enforcement. It works best if you don’t draw a lot of attention to yourself. I think you understand what I mean.”

Harris smirked. Chad hadn’t even known she was a chick, she definitely played things close to the vest.

“Well, not everyone is so... open-minded,” she said.

“Their loss,” Jared said and his voice was hard. “Everyone out there who doesn’t want to do business with us because of who we are can go to hell.”

“Who you are?” Harris asked.

“Let’s just say Jared and I never compete for attention when we go out at night.”

Harris shot him a look, then her red lips formed a perfect ‘oh.’ “I see.” She tilted her head, regarded Jared with a smirk. “Well, certainly a loss for women everywhere.”

Jared laughed. Chad made a face.

Harris leaned over to him, patted his cheek. “Don’t worry, you’re cute too.”

And really, Chad should be so mad at her.

“So,” Jared said, “are we in business?”

Harris nodded. “I want half up front because it’s an out of the country job.”

“Done.” Jared pulled out his phone. “You’ll have the money tomorrow in your account. The other half will be wired after you send proof of finishing the job.”

Harris stood. “Excellent.”

Chad watched her leave. “Hey.”

She turned around.

“My meeting’s over,” Chad said with a grin. “And you’re still here.”

She laughed, throaty and surprised. “I’ve gotta give it to you, you’ve got balls. But I’m a professional, Murray.”

“So am I,” he said with a wink. “Very professional.”

She laughed again. “Like I said, pigs.” Then she walked away and damn, it was a pretty sight.

“You’re playing with fire,” Jared said.

“Yeah.” Chad turned back to Jared once Harris was out of sight. “You know, it would come in real handy to have an assassin on retainer.”

Jared snorted. “I’m not putting a hit-woman on retainer because you want to get into her pants.”

Chad clutched his chest. “That’s just mean.”

Jared laughed and Chad laughed and they poured more whiskey. But Chad had a good feeling about Harris. He’d see her again. And who knew how that would go.

[starlightnakamoto]

She Knows • Yuta Nakamoto

Member: Yuta x Reader

Genre: angst / fluff / smut / slow-burn / mystery

Warnings: Language, Drugs, Alcohol/Cigarette Use

Summary: You needed to find a way to raise money to find somewhere to stay. Little did you know it had to be through becoming a stripper at the biggest club in town, owned by the ceo himself. He’s not only a ceo though. Only at night he was.

A/N: i hope yall are enjoying so far & staying safe!! here’s ch. 3 <3

Chapter 3

Known as Yuta during the day.

But Mr. Nakamoto during the night.

—

Only one of those was known for being hidden.

And you could guess which one.

Yuta Nakamoto. Your sweet, yet sometimes strict local choreographer. Bubbly smile anyone could die for. Everyone only knew him for his first name though.

Once night comes in, he clocks out and for others he’s just known for going to do other busy dance work, “or that’s what he likes to call it”.

But really he’s venturing out to clock in to his other important job.

Being CEO of the town’s most famous strip club/restaurant.

But the interesting part is, no one knew who Mr. Nakamoto really was.

Truth is, everyone has heard of him but no one in public has gotten to know what he looks like.. the man keeps to himself.

He wears a hat. That’s what some have heard. Still no one truly has recognized him for being Mr. Nakamoto and that he’s the same guy who choreographs his dancers, just a few floors above.

He has to be careful. God what could poor Yuta do to himself if getting exposed for trying to live a normal life in the day at his own club?

8:30 am

Rehearsal Day One.

You had woken up, same routine all over again in the now familar motel room you’ve started to feel adapted to.

You did the usual and got ready. You decided to throw on a cropped sweater & baggy camo pants. You grabbed your dance bag to head out.

Your money was running out and you needed to find a place soon.. or it’s the streets you go.

Thought after thought kept racing as you layed your head against the subway window. The stop came and with that you took off your headphones & hopped off to make your way to the studio.

Arriving there you made your way towards Room 1026 once again and found relief not seeing any of the head people come in yet.

Just tons of dancers laying around stretching and talking with music blasting.

Not sure of where to go, you put your bag in whatever locker you could find & sat in the front to stretch out as well.

After about 20 minutes of warm-ups, the music came to and the 3 choreographers had come in.

Everyone got up to greet them and you were just there lost, not really knowing anyone’s name.

And there he was.

In the distance, being greeted & talked to by tons of the girls who fawned over him. Seems like he really builds a connection with everyone.

How could he look so beautiful just fucking standing there?

There was other two choreographers as well. A strict looking girl with bobbed hair and a tall guy with light brown hair, some resting against his face.

“Okay guys let’s settle down get back to your places”, he had said in a comforting tone. He seemed cool.

The room went quiet as everyone went back to their places and you just stood there in the front, still lost.

“For those of you who are new here, I’m Johnny. That’s Yuta & here we have our only other girl with us, Lisa”, he said while gesturing his hands to them while they waved as well.

Yuta. That was the sparkling boy’s name.

“Hi everyone I’m Yuta. Always here to help so don’t be shy. As long as you listen to me & the others you’ll be fine”, He beamed using his hands frequently.

“I see we have some new people today”, he walked around, getting closer to you. You could feel your heart racing & cheeks match the color of the red walls as you stared down at the wooden floor.

The moment was about to happen before he got violently cut off and stopped before getting warmer to you.

“Yea yea we get it. Ladies, today we’ll be starting rehearsal for our new performances this week, so you already know the drill. You don’t need my name, just my voice.”, Lisa had loudly interrupted, sitting on a stool twirling a piece of her hair on her finger.

She looked quite intense. Looks like having her is gonna be interesting.

You were afraid she would come for you. Little did you know she did, but not in the way you expected.

People were switching around, going to assigned spots they already seemed to be familar with. You were still fucking lost.

You just stalled around with your hands in your pockets, being too scared to meet his eyes or hers so you observed others faces.

At this point Johnny was the only carebear in here.

You looked up as you heard your name being mentioned. Looks like Lisa had motioned Yuta to come over to her & was whispering him something that obviously had to do with you. Her brown eyes had crossed over yours and you quickly tried looking somewhere else.

Something about seeing them together made you feel uneasy.

“Tell newbie girl to go to the back. She doesn’t know shit yet and we can’t have her ruining our set”.

“W-why me? I don’t wanna be so harsh on her—“, he softly spoke, his voice being filled with warmth.

“You know how I am. I’d probably make her cry anyways soon so tell ner. Now”, she had said, lightly pushing him while he sighed.

Could she be anymore louder?

You had felt him coming your direction and everything was happening so fast.

You lifted up your head & were met by the most beautiful yet biggest set of pool brown eyes.

He was close to you. Anymore and you’d lose it.

He had ruffed up blonde dyed hair & wore a loose long white sleeveless tee, showing off his toned caramel arms.

This man you had been so afraid to look at was now in front of you & you couldn’t do nothing about it.

He didn’t say much. Not even an introduction that you wanted. After talking to that hoe, anyone’s mood would go down. He looked kinda nervous though as well.

“Back.”, he hesistantly said while pointing to where your eyes moved.

You wished for the moment again where he hadn’t said that and only eyes were speaking.

You felt intimidated by him once he said that. Where had the bubbly boy earlier in the morning gone?

All those girls making him smile but you had to be in the opposite.

You heard some laughs from the dancers. This basically was embarrassing since the room had gotten quiet. You scoffed & left his eyes and walked your way to the back.

Not like it was a big deal cause yeah you were new of course. It’s more of how he wasn’t bubbly around you and it honestly hurt. But then remembering he couldn’t not listen to his co-worker right? Don’t wanna mess with her.

She probably would’ve thrown my ass in a circle.

After everyone getting settled, the music had started & the choreographers started their instructions on the moves.

You wish he could still see you but the back was pretty back.

“Okay ladies—“, Lisa had mentioned after taking her turn talking about what moves next we had to do while Johnny & Yuta were getting their waters.

She had been interrupted.

“For the love of god, don’t forget a guy exists here too”, a new charming voice had chimed in, being greeted with laughs.

He had walked in, already putting his bag away. He was completely aware that he had arrived late & had no problem with it. His aura had brightened the room. At least to you.

He had nice golden brown eyes with black tossled hair and was wearing a black choker that stood out with a loose tee that had Led Zeppelin on it & skinny black pants that shaped his figure.

“Of course. You’re late like always..”, Lisa had rolled her eyes at the familar voice before continuing to talk.

He had made his way towards the back, taking the empty spot next to you.

A guy in an all girls section? Seems legit.

You somehow felt comfort in this person without knowing who the hell they were yet but you definitely wanted to be their friend.

After a break was announced, everyone had sat down and you were met by another lovely gaze of someone, who this time was gonna introduce himself to you.

“You must be new here. I’m Ten”, he smiled with glee and stuck out his hand.

ch. 1, ch. 2, ch. 3, ch. 4, ch. 5

[blooddrop-palace]

I'd like to request #81 with Dante, however you want to do it!

Thank you for the submission! I stared at this, wondering how I should respond to it... and I think I’m in the mood for fluff! 

How about some Dante and Patty found-family-type fluff? With a dash of Nero. Post DMC4.

Just one thing: I don’t think Dante is going to be saying “please” in this situation.

81. “Please don’t make me choose.”

“Dante! Look at this! I spend just few days less here, and you still can’t even clean up after yourself!”

“Awe, Patty-cakes, the place is fine. You just focus on school and your after school activities. I’m taking care of myself just fine.”

“This is NOT fine! How can you think you can live like this? What are you going to do after I graduate school and go to uni? You aren’t expecting me to spend my breaks coming here just to clean, are you?”

There was a lot unspoken here. Patty knew that Dante’s living standards were simply low. They both knew that the cleaning was more for her joy, and it was her excuse to stop by the shop. Patty also knew that Dante did enjoy her company, so long as she remained wise to the times he actually warned her to not do something or not show up. Sometimes, when she received those instructions, she worried. The Legendary Devil Hunter, by her recognition, could still be mortal. (She will never forget the scare she had back then, the image of him impaled by his own sword upon a cross like a sacrifice was burned into her skull.)

However, Ever since he went on some weird mission to the island called Fortuna, she could tell that something had happened. Something good. It was subtle, but she could tell. 

It might have something to do with that white-haired older teen she met at his shop, once. (She didn’t dare ask exactly who Nero was. The way Dante interacted with him, she saw how dodgy he was being, but also how hopeful. Dante’s past was always vague to her, but she knew what it felt like to find family again. So she didn’t dare ruin what little bit of peace Dante had in his mysterious discovery.)

All of that aside, she didn’t necessarily come to the shop to clean today. 

“I am focusing on school and stuff. In fact, I wanted to tell you that our drama club will be performing our play next week! And I have a ticket for you, right here!” She slapped the envelope onto his desk. “So you’d better not lose this among your garbage!”

“A school play, huh?” He picked it up, expression somewhat unreadable as he gazed at it. 

“Starring yours truly! I expect you to show up!”

--------------------------

[Two hours before the play.]

Not all of his jobs came through Morrison. Plenty of Devil May Cry’s business came through the phone or through the door on their own. 

The only good thing about jobs coming through Morrison was that they tend to be legit, and more guaranteed pay. 

Supposing, of course, that he took the job to begin with. 

But here he was, behind his desk, arguing with a woman whose name he couldn’t be bothered to remember: “Look, woman. This is too short-notice. As you can see, I have somewhere to be.”

“But I need this warehouse cleared out. This should have been done days ago, if the other people I’ve hired weren’t so incompetent that they got themselves killed!”

“Not my problem.” Damn, and he took the effort to find nicer clothes for tonight, too. Patty wasn’t going to let him walk into her school in his usual getup, even if he thought he was being very fashionable. 

“I will pay you double what I offered to them!”

The devil within was feeling a fan to the flames of his irritation. His hissed: “Don’t make me choose.”

“What?” The woman gave him a brief wide-eyed stare, the context of such a phrase, combined with the (ironically truthful) rumors of his inhuman reputation, betrayed her fear of what her mind thought he meant. 

“I said, don’t make me have to choose between money, or going to my daughter’s high school play.” Oftentimes, the label was a convenient excuse. He’s used it more than once; but in some truth, it wasn’t just convenience. He would never say it in front of Patty, but he would protect her like it was his duty, to hell and back. 

He gave the woman a very level stare, standing behind his desk, knowing his height and his posture added to the message that she will lose this challenge. 

There was a long stretch of silence, before she stammered: “I, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”

“That I have other things booked into my calendar? Look, I’ll throw you one boon. That’s it.” He opened one of the drawers to his desk, rummaged through it for a business card, and slammed the drawer shut in a message of finality before tossing the card at her. “Call my associate, Nero. I make no promises on what his schedule looks like, but he’s got a fancy mobile setup and if you offer him that number you promised me and fork over gas money, you might have a deal. Now scram. I need to lock up.”

He’d rather Nero have the money, anyway. But tonight, he had a performance to watch.

--------------------------

“You actually made it.” Nina Lowell was pleasantly surprised. “And here I thought I was going to have to sit by an empty seat tonight. 

Nina and Dante had absolutely no relation to each other beyond one’s gratitude towards another, and their interactions were always based off of Patty’s well-being. Neutral, and friendly enough. 

“Wait, you’re not telling me...” He looked down at the ticket stub that told him of his seating number. 

“The front row seats are all reserved for parent-guardians of the students in the play. Naturally, Patty was entitled to two of those tickets to give away, just like the others with a role. And you can’t deny that you are a guardian of hers, can you?”

Huh. Well...

Guess some feelings were mutual.