#My sexcapades

[gascon-en-exil]

Have you ever fucked anyone that was less than 50 years old…doubt it

I get that this is supposed to be an insult, but - have you ever had sex with anyone over fifty? Visions of scruffy silver daddies with fat dicks and fatter wallets aside, it's typically not as glamorous as all that. Consider -

Realizing that you have very little in common with someone a generation or more older than you, and yet still needing to keep conversation flowing over dinner or drinks. Often this boils down to pretending to listen to a man ramble on for 20-30 minutes about something I absolutely couldn't care about in the slightest, all while nodding and smiling and asking questions at intervals to keep him talking.

When they fumble over a socially acceptable way to refer to their relationship with you. I've been a "son," a "nephew," a "personal assistant," an "protégé," etc.

When you feel like you should have become a nurse with as much as you're expected to engage with their prescription drug cocktails, CPAP machines, and assorted other medical needs.

When daddy kink doesn't work because either they're not into it, they don't understand the concept of roleplay, or they want to be into it but aren't creative enough for dirty talk.

When they need to be pumped full of Viagra/Cialis to even get it up, but of course still expect you to be patient and perform whenever they're finally ready.

Related, when it takes them an eon to cum but you just have to keep going or otherwise they're not going to be as satisfied and are less likely to want to take you out again.

When they're bad at sex, at times in ways that might actually be painful...but trying to teach or correct them is awkward because they're more than twice your age.

And of course, when even the longest-lasting arrangements inevitably end because you're getting older and thus no longer attractive to them, and they've found a younger replacement.

I'm not actually a gerontophile, and most of the time my genuine physical interest in these men is minimal. Still, I've undoubtedly had my share of interesting experiences from sleeping with predominantly older men, and I do take professional pride in my capabilities both in and out of bed. I question if you could do half so much, trolling anon.

But to answer your ask, I do occasionally sleep with men closer to my age for a variety of reasons. The only sincere marriage proposal I've ever received was from a man just three years older than me, and in the broader world of kink I've entertained plenty of men under 50. I'm quite versatile in many respects.

[ropes-andchains]

fun meeting idea: i sit beneath your desk and eat you out until you have to excuse yourself.

[maddzroks]

accomplished grad student Dominic learns the grimy bartender she's been sleeping with is going rogue

[shotmrmiller]

That SD!Simon who took a one night stand would have me accepting a babysitting job across the city. The that requires Reader to stay with the kids for a week cause the parents need the vacation. Maybe, possibly meeting someone from that side and 👀

i hear that LOUD AND CLEAR. LIKE GLASS.

listen i ooooooh i would be reaching out to my toxic but great lay ex like pull up neoooowww

gotta have him being a big gross grump who takes care of his own kid now. stop knocking on our door asking how much formula she takes read the can brother

naw i'd be hella moving on. catch me firmly setting lines he cannot and will not cross. no i don't give a damn how tired you are, get your baby and go back to your own flat. no i cannot watch your child mr. riley im gonna have a guy over and you will not interrupt my date with him.

girllll (gn) i'd be howling like a cat in heat during sex too js.

[findafight]

More stranger things fic should have the teens laughing and giggling about sex. Like. Do you remember being 18?? Of course Steve kept saying boobies that shits hilarious. Sex is a funny thing and it can be silly and soft and intimate but it's also sooo funny to talk about. Like. There can be serious convos but oh my god let someone giggle when they hear the word "blowjob".

[sciderman]

What does Loki even do in your universe?

his lokiest

[buttonloops]

i love her so much

i can't wait to love her better

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from the wangxian dungeons - [2/?]

[gascon-en-exil]

A friend and occasional lover recently gave me his list of options for things to get him for his birthday, because it's well-known that I am terrible at gift-giving and especially at coming up with surprises. One item on that list is "blowjob from a cute, dumb twink". I asked him if I could just blow him myself and check that one off, only to have him tell me that it wouldn't count because I'm not dumb.

Now that's how you get me to want to give you something for your birthday.

[swsworlds-blog]

😳

[nururu]

a friend of mine wrote a novel about Zoro being a slut whore and I'm HOPING I'll have enough free time this coming up week to just eat every last crumb of it.......

[roosterbruiser]

Maybe this is selfish but…kissing is make or break for me? I went on two dates with a guy and when he went in for a kiss it was immediately all open mouth and tongue. And maybe that’s some people’s thing? But I was like oh my god no and just walked home

I love the teasing, flirtatious part of kissing. The brief closed mouth kisses that get longer and longer? Titling their head or my chin into the right position? When they pause to check my face to see how much I’m enjoying it? And I can see they’re enjoying it too? And then they look down at my lips for permission to proceed? And when they lean back in, their hand cupping my neck and thumb on my jaw, giving them that smile against their lips that invites them in? And they match the smile? And that’s when the tongue slides in, but it’s still slow? Like my mouth is full of chocolate and they’re savoring every taste of it. Carefully drawing it out of every corner. And yeah, I of course love the devouring kisses but you build to those (whether through kissing or looks or touches.) But even for the devouring kisses there’s an art to the tongue, the teeth of it, the lips of it, the jaw and neck of it

Anyway, all this is to say. Wait for the amazing kissers. Whoever makes you feel like that’s the only thing that exists, the only place you want to be in that moment, until your brain knows nothing but what you’re feeling and experiencing. It’s blissful. It’s erotic. It’s goooooood

I...I....I...

[corazondebeskar-reads]

tmi with toni

I am still sore and he is being so smug about it

​am i still a little floaty? yes. love when subspace lingers 💕💕💕

also still reeling over him calling me his “pretty slut-shaped punching bag” who tf gave him the right?? shit it was me lmao

Also feel free to block #toni shares too much on the internet 2k23 (and #toni shares too much on the internet 2k24) if you don’t want to see this stuff amid the fanfic

[queen-beefcake-sqx]

[tmi sex talk below the cut]

I thought my libido would eventually, you know, kick off???? now that I have an eager and readily accessible sexual partner, which has literally never happened in my life?????? Like I just assumed this heightened libido has always been a result of being a fairly sexual person with very limited access to safe, trustworthy sexual partners, resulting in just a build up of sexual frustration.

But no. It’s been almost a goddamn week straight of great sex on top of sporadic periods before this and my body is STILL like fuck or die, peasant. Jesus fucking christ. I can only hope my newly gained employed status means my body will chill the fuck out a bit having another genuinely mentally commanding foci that isn’t how badly I want to be railed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway that’s where I’m at what’s new with you folx.

[neverendingford]

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