#nellie: the sexcapade so good we spun it off unchanged

[buttonloops]

successfully managed to stop texting Nellie literally one thousand times a day so that we can both attend to the rest of our lives

new problem: now i'm constantly talking about her to my friends

must...have....one...iota...of...chill

[buttonloops]

counting the minutes

soon i will leave to snatch up nellie and whisk her away for a whirlwind evening of emotional and physical sadomasochism

(and afterwards, cuddles)

[buttonloops]

i love her so much

i can't wait to love her better

[buttonloops]

feels like an endless array of things i'm excited to do with her.

life is better when you have something to look forward to....and now there are so many things i look forward to.

kink stuff and life stuff and more kink stuff in service to life stuff

and just. how could there ever be world and time enough to do all the things i crave for us

[buttonloops]

oh no i gave nellie my tumblr so she could see all the sappy things I'm writing about her

her reaction was delightful

but now i can't tell you all my secret plans for our date tomorrow!

[buttonloops]

yooooooooo i had a threesome and it was AWESOME

BOTH OF MY PARTNERS AT THE SAME TIME EEEEE

it made me so happy to see them together

[buttonloops]

sexcapades: smug

new girl told me I ate her out better than anyone has ever

i am a sex god

[buttonloops]

spent hours with her last night but it still feels so long until tuesday

can't wait to watch her suffer for me again

(god i'm SUCH a sadist)

[buttonloops]

she said it she said it she said it

[buttonloops]

i want so many things i cannot say

it is okay to want

here in the privacy of my mind

it is not okay to say

not yet

i have walked this road before, flung myself headlong past caution signs slingshotted around curves ignored all speed limits

this time i will mosey along

this time i will admire the view

i will not rush

there is no map

there is no destination

there is only our journey

fueled by longing

[buttonloops]

nellie

she's so wonderful and i fuck her so good

[buttonloops]

i've never bought jewelry for a girl before

i am gone

[buttonloops]

look, yesterday this girl came over and brought me a gift????

I get really anxious about gifts but

but

it's a huge, soft, fuzzy blanket, the kind I've low-key wanted for ten goddamn years and never gotten around to getting for myself. (literally, I remember standing in Bed, Bath, and Beyond in July or August of 2014 debating whether to splurge on an actually nice fuzzy blanket ... and then getting the cheap good-enough-I-guess option.)

it's the same dark blue I always go for. it's big enough for two, and significantly cozier for cuddling than the wool blanket i have on my bed now.

this is an astonishingly perceptive gift for someone who's known me for a single solitary week

sexcapades: nre

i was up late SIX of the last eight nights and i am crashing so goddamn hard.

what a giddy week

looking forward to getting back to a normal day-to-day rhythm, one that's now broken apart and reformed around a new core strand

[buttonloops]

the cuddles are the best part

always

when i've hit her until she doesn't think she can take another blow (and a few more for good measure), insulted her, humiliated her, and used her

then i hold her in my arms as she sobs. stroke her hair. kiss her forehead. let her fall apart completely and hand her the pieces one by one to build herself back together anew

holding a girl i love as she cries is possibly my favorite thing in the entire world

and nellie lets me make her cry, over and over, so i can hold her every time

counting the minutes

soon i will leave to snatch up nellie and whisk her away for a whirlwind evening of emotional and physical sadomasochism

(and afterwards, cuddles)