#My internet is still okayish so

[venacoeurva]

Would you guys want a pin up of the default/promo Dovahkiin (the blond nord guy) in whatever time frame in the future I have the time energy and memory to do it. I have an affinity for the (kind of visually boring but still appealing) little man

[queenlua]

what podcasts have you listened to?

good question because I'M IN THE MARKET FOR PODCAST RECS. please. i hate almost everything on this list

S Tier (i listen to new episodes the second they drop)

Know Your Enemy. look Matt and Sam just have such an exceedingly good vibe. when they talk about something i actually know they never feel like they're doing an unfair or one-sided treatment of it. they're both massive intellectual history nerds. and they do that without, y'know, sacrificing Principles and Taking A Stand in the name of pseudointellectual fairness. occasionally they bring on a guest that pisses me off but that's fine. good things for this podcast forever

A Tier (i'm excited when i have new episodes to listen to)

Normal Gossip. quality varies a decent amount season-to-season but at its heart, it's some bitches Talking Shit about some people you'll never meet in an entertaining way. entirely my jam. hell yeah

The Recipe with Kenji and Deb. good vibes, i learn a couple things about food usually, i am really dumb about cooking so it's not hard for me to learn new things but i sure do learn

The Bonhoeffer Podcast. my current listen. egregiously niche subject. clearly run in a no-frills low-production-value by some random academic. and it rules. tell me the niche internecine theological conflict random dudes with shitty internet connections I Need To Know

Drive to Work with Mark Rosewater. he gets repetitive if you listen to too many episodes at once. but. the head designer of Magic: the Gathering is just as compelling in podcast form as he is in his writing. love that shit

B Tier (i'll go to these reasonably-frequently)

Odd Lots. episodes are rarely standouts but rarely uninteresting either. vibe between the hosts is good

Designer Notes. pros: did a 3hr interview with Cole Wehrle who i do have a brain-crush on. cons: most guests aren't Cole Wehrle

The Kongversation. look it's just some guys nostalgia'ing hard over ye olde Rare/Nintendo games but they're oddly fun/compelling about it

BS-Free Witchcraft Podcast. i have an affection for tetchy neopagans who are somewhat grounded about it and this dude's pretty solid on that front

C Tier (fine, if i must. OR, yes i listen but i feel guilty about it)

If Books Could Kill. ok so the problem with Michael Hobbes is that he's not particularly intellectually honest. the problem with Peter Shamshiri is that he's definitely not intellectually honest and also a dick about it. unfortunately they are both very ENTERTAINING.

i feel a little less guilty listening to them in this format because like. dunking on The Secret is just having a good time, it's a sporking, everyone already knows the book sucks.

it's still unvirtuous that i listen to this one but sometimes i need to listen to familiar stupid dunks as i fall asleep yaknow

And Also With You. episcopalianism 101; i have a Pet Research Project atm & while these ppl aren't as deeply NERD as i desire they make up for it with vibes & pleasantness

D Tier (if i'm desperate. and on a road trip. i'll listen. i guess)

Ezra Klein: my husband absolutely bodied me the other day when i listened to Joe Rogan for the first time, for Civic Education Reasons™, and before i could begin to describe the experience he was like "let me guess, it's like Ezra Klein but for center-right gym bros." and fuck me if that's not egregiously accurate. they share a certain combo of "weirdly credulous" + "have a few specific Weird Anxieties they're fixated on." in Klein's case that anxiety is focused on factory farming & in Rogan's case it's focused on like weird AI conspiracies. in both cases they are aggressively vanilla and mid but sometimes Klein gets an okayish guest. Klein's REALLY had a lot of anxiety lately tho so i've found him harder to take, cannot be part of your secondhand anxiety bro

Time To Say Good Bye! rank punditry but i kinda like Jay Caspian Kang's vibe

Limited Resources. listened way more when i was drafting MtG competitively. but episodes are LONG and that's absolutely an asset when e.g. you're on a long drive to Whistler & you and your husband already nearly came to blows over What To Listen To & you remember Oh Shit Right We're Both Going To A Prerelease Next Weekend

You Have Permission. podcast by a chill sort-of-intellectually-marshmallow-esque liberal christian guy. there are a LOT of episodes which is useful if you're trying to set time on fire. some of his guests are FASCINATING; some less so. averages out to "fine"? random episodes are Not Good but if you skim in advance you'll get e.g. a really cool Quaker guy, some hypernerd theologian, etc

Podcasts That Are So Good But Sadly I Have Already Listened To Every Episode And They Aren't Making More

Every Day's Great! nerds replay Persona 4 and yap about it

The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. watch an evangelical megachurch implode

Stuff I've Guiltily Carried Around With A Vague Intention Of Actually Listening For A While Now

No Proscenium. all the LARP news that's fit to print. haven't taken a dive yet tho

The Blood Zone. i really like liz ryerson's other work but only listened to the ocremix episode of this one so far oops

The Age of Napoleon & History of Africa. i was enjoying Napoleon for a while but my old car didn't have bluetooth and the podcast was just too QUIET to hear even at the loudest volume. history of africa i was enjoying but got distracted and now i'm like oh fuck i don't remember where i was guess i'll die

Security. Cryptography. Whatever. i should be listening to this for professional reasons

.....

i'm aware there's weightier/better podcasts out there, but i'm mostly listening to podcasts while driving or doing chores, so i need podcasts to hit this weird sweet spot of "intellectually serious enough i don't turn the thing off" but also "well-produced / attention-grabbing enough that it's entertaining even if i can only devote half my brain to it (because, y'know, driving/cleaning)." so most podcast recs don't work on me. and for some reason a lot of popular podcasts (planet money, most NPR ones, etc) are like nails-on-chalkboard for me. maybe i just need to get into audiobooks or something lol but yeah that's what i'm relying on for now

[ziggymightbeonfire]

I feel the need to ramble, so here I am

I just discovered Over The Garden Wall and OH MY LORD has it awoken something within me. That whole show feels likes a warm blanket being wrapped up around you while your drinking hot chocolate in a cabin in the woods. Deep within the woods. There's a sence of eerieness to it, but it isn't too disturbing in a sence that I can still watch it at night without feeling paranoid. And the soundtrack - oh, the soundtrack! It makes me sob in all honesty. Kind of like how the vast majority of In Case I Make It (but specifically White Noise) makes me cry. It's not a feeling of sadness, though. I can only describe it as warm. It's a weird feeling. Possibly nostalgic? I don't know. Whatever it is, I like it. It's the same feeling Gravity Falls gives to me. Just thinking about Gravity Falls makes me feel happy. Or I think it's happiness? I can't tell. Emotions are hard. Gravity Falls changed my life in one way or another. It was the first TV show I watched in it's entirty. Sometimes I wish I could thank everyone who's ever worked on that show because I don't know where I'd be without it.

I want to discuss that 'warm' feeling I've discussed earlier because I have no idea what it is. I think it's some sort of deja vu or nostalgia or something along the lines of that. It's annoying me that I can't describe it properly because I desperately crave answers. Well, whatever it is, I like it. That feeling usually only comes to me with these specific things: Kimya Dawson songs, some of Will Woods stuff, Over The Garden Wall, Gravity Falls and those stupid campfire songs that always end with the last word of a verse leading into the first word of a separate verse. I wish I had any sort of way to explain this feeling that does it justice, but I can't. All I know is that it makes me like living. It makes me think about the fact that out of everything I could've been, I'm me. And the thing is, this feeling almost never occurrs with my biggest interests.

I love liking things. I love the fact that I can name every HHN icon. I love the fact that I've learned and still am learning everything I can about The Director. I love the way I overlook literally the simplest metaphors in songs. I love being alive.

Thanks for reading this. Seriously, I hate the internet because it's mostly all negative stuff that just completely ruins any sort of good mood I get. And to you, random stranger. I hope everythings going well or okayish at the very least. You're still here and you should be proud of that. It's cheesy and an oversaid statement, but I don't care. You're aloud to be proud of yourself. Even if it's just getting out of bed, that's something you can say you did. Enjoy existing. You wouldn't be here if someone didn't need you.

[theoutcastrogue]

I love Midst, a lot, already listened to it. And honestly it kind of sucks shit that the whole thing was taken off the internet to be drip fed back to us unless you pay in which case you get it drip fed but in advance, and for what? so some okayish art can be added to a podcast where one of the best parts was the maximalist-minimalist narration which let you form your own cool ideas? Good for the creators getting money I guess but bleah. Glad you and other new people are enjoying it though <3

Interesting point about the art. It's still early to tell, and I'm probably not qualified to judge since I haven't listened to the podcast, but I think the animation is very subtle and not intrusive. It does let me imagine what's being described by words.

Like, one of my favourite parts was introducing and describing a, for lack of a better word, monster, where each narrator describes a different part of it, and builds on what the previous ones have said. That sounded largely improvised, and I LOVED how they didn't fully conform to the "yes, and" improv rule, but they might say something like "well, sort of, not exactly, in fact". Like, it was mostly "yes, and" interspersed with a few "yes but", and I found that AMAZING because I love unreliable narrators.

A picture or animation would mess with that, it would ruin the effect. But there was no picture of the monster, so all was good.

So far, the perhaps-too-revealing images we have are:

the moon, but that's the logo of the series, gotta put something there (and I think it's the original logo, more or less? I'm not sure)

three characters, who so far appear as illustrations on their site and press releases; images attract audiences, it's kind of inevitable

But the art in the video wasn't otherwise too revealing, as far as I could tell. And theoretically, you can listen to it without watching it. I thought the sound (music, effects, mixing, everything) was fantastic.

As for the republishing, yeah, stuff disappears from the internet all the time and it's a problem. We gotta archive everything we want to save. But happily, this isn't disappearing, it's just hiding and appearing again, like a rogue coming out of stealth. :)

[herrscherofmagic]

Fr, the HI3rd writing has been kinda wonky.

It's great when it comes to characters and emotions, but the worldbuilding and logic is all over. This game really needs a story rework to re-organize some of that worldbuilding and fill in the various gaps T_T

That being said, I've still enjoyed the story and I think the post-Moon story content has been getting more coherent and well-thought-out. Plus I believe there's a very solid set of rules/logic underpinning the whole setting; the issue isn't the world's logic but rather the poor presentation of said logic.

I've been brainstorming ideas for my own HI3rd AU fanfic/story/art series, and a lot of this brainstorming has led me to ask questions about some pretty fundamental stuff like Stigmata, "Herrscher Personas", Imaginary Space, bubble worlds, consciousness mapping, and so on. As I've reviewed the story time and again and put in countless hours of thought into it across the last couple of years, I've noticed a lot of connections between these different ideas. There's definitely some excellent worldbuilding in this story but it does take a huge amount of work to uncover it, and that really should change.

It's also helped me to consider both Genshin and HSR as well. For instance, dreams, memory, & wishes seem to function fairly similarly in both Genshin and HI3rd, but Genshin has done a much better job of presenting those concepts. Understanding how those things work in Genshin made it easier to figure it out in HI3rd, basically. Even GGZ has helped me a bit but not to the same extent.

@hiraethsdesires, if you've got any big questions about the HI3rd & greater Hoyoverse setting, feel free to let me know!

I've spent way too much time thinking about this stuff so there's a good chance that I might be able to help you navigate some of the messy bits of the story and worldbuilding.

And since I plan on making my own HI3rd-centric fan stories, I've also put a lot of thought into how these ideas need to be presented and explained in order to make sense. I can't say I'm an absolute expert, but I think I've at least done an okayish job so far ^.^

As a side note, I followed the first link in your post (the reddit one) and I was so surprised to see my own comment there ahfjl;adfhd;ahadfklh it always throws me off when I find my months-old internet discussions >.<

side-side note: I'm sorry but that Gamerant article really doesn't do much of any proper explanation of the Imaginary Tree or Sea of Quanta. Maybe it would work for someone totally unfamiliar with these games but anyone with at least some basic understanding of any of these stories would probably need more than just that article to figure it out.

If I had to explain the Tree and SoQ to an HSR-only player, the simplest explanation I can come up with would be this:

The Imaginary Tree is the source of all worlds. Imaginary Energy flows through the Tree and forms "leaves" on the branches of this tree, each one an entire world of its own. However, the Sea of Quanta is an opposing force to the Tree. If a world "detaches" from the Imaginary Tree then it will sink into the Sea and slowly dissolve into nothingness unless it finds a sort of "anchor" to stabilize itself. These are so-called "bubble worlds". Thus the Imaginary Tree and Sea of Quanta exist as two opposing and all-encompassing forces, the former being a force of creation and the latter being a force of destruction.

There's obviously a lot more complexity, but that explanation should be enough to cover the basics for someone familiar with HSR but not with HI3rd. I think? Idk x-x

so,

based on the hi3 shit ive been researching in wikis, blogs and reddit for stellar chasm (my hi3 x hsr crossover story in the making)

hi3 writing is all over the place and that hyv writers prolly- partially gave up on some parts/arcs that leaves some hi3 players unsatisfied, is what i'm barely understanding

(discussion about hi3 x hsr crossover story im making, along with hi3 topics under cut)

i do however finally understand quite a lot though (except for the math and... numbers... shinanigans)

i'm just hoping my hsr following is aware of hi3 or even the basics of the imaginary tree + sea of quanta, cause ima be involving it a lot of hi3 things for the prologue,

just for Herrscher!Reader's arrival to make sense, establishing her personality for you readers to be aware of, her relationships with hi3 characters, and just an overall introduction

then again, stellar chasm is for avid hsr and hi3 enjoyers, but for the pure hsr readers... hmh, i wouldnt know how they'll react, but i can assume theyre aware of hyv's other games

i haven't reached the final chapters of hi3 plot in game and i also dont mind being spoiled from the information im researching—but what i can say is that i believe hi3 lore enjoyers feel robbed about the overall writing progression in the canon story, which is honestly really sucky and i feel quite bad about it

not to mention, we still have yet to know how our beloved welt yang of anti entropy ended up in the universe of honkai star rail, but honestly i can feel their love for hsr, so we might get that aspect explained in the future

nonetheless,

the frantic mess and unsatisfied feelings towards the hi3 writers who're in charge with the storyline in hi3 remind me that ill have to step up my game for this crossover story i'll be creating for you all, i want a good story because i am someone who craves a good universe that can scratch our brain's itch in the right places, so why not write instead? for myself and you all hi3 and hsr lovers.

anyhow, thank you for reading until the end, i would love to hear all of your thoughts within my inboxes or just overall interact with me about this (while i plan, edit and write the prologue of stellar chasm and the 2nd chapter of TMW)

for the ppl who wanna be informed;

hi3 arc summaries reddit disccusion link

imaginary tree + sea of quanta explained/disccusions reddit

[psylunari]

About time I introduce myself

TL;DR Luna's nonsense about herself. Feel free to reblog!

If you're looking for my original posts or my fics:

The tags are #psyluna.txt (for fandom info posts, writing tips, and posts like this one it's the first but you get the idea) and #psyluna.fic (for fanfiction). #psyluna.ask is for ask games and answers. #psyluna.png is for image edits, art, and memes.

The tag for when I get fanart is #I GOT ART. Bless all the people who have ever made something for me, I would like to give you the entire planet, but I'm poor, and taking care of a planet is too much work. So all I can give you is more fanfiction.

If I translate something that's not my work, the tag is #translation I just did.

From lurker to occasional reblogger to regular shitposter to… I don't know. The sky is the limit. Nice to meet you! I created this account in 2019, together with my return to posting fanfiction. I wrote fanfiction on again, then off again, for years, since I first picked it up at the fresh age of ten.

I was never a people person, nor did life make me a public figure, thank goodness. I'm not made for the spotlight, so I didn't see a point in blogging here myself. Anyway. I wanna do it now. Buckle up.

My name: the IRL one is so lame that I won't tell you. Call me psy, luna, or psyluna, as you wish. It fits me better.

My age: I was born in 1995, just so that I don't have to update this yearly.

Pronouns: I go by she/her. Gender is a myth. So is being internet famous.

My home country: I hail from not-so-distant, not-so-unknown Brazil.

Languages I speak: English is my second language (Portuguese is my first), and as per local standards, I can speak and write in English quite well. Before you ask, I write fanfiction in Portuguese and translate later, for reasons I'll disclose if anyone asks. I had basic Spanish in school and can still read/listen to it okay, can't write/speak it anymore. Japanese is my hobby language of choice. I plan on becoming more proficient if everything goes right.

My writing: it was always my favorite way to express myself. It's how I organize my thoughts and communicate with the world. Consequently, I wrote lots and lots all my life, even if not fanfiction, just personal vents. I got better in speaking out loud as I became more confident, less self-loathing, and ran out of fucks to give.

Should you talk to me: I enjoy chatting more than I enjoy people. It's not that I don't like people… Okay, let's not lie here. People are troublesome, even myself. I'll willingly talk to people who talk to me, and even start conversations at times, but getting attached and forming bonds isn't a default expectation. That said, if you wanna talk to me, please do.

Miscellaneous: I was somewhat raised by the 2000s internet. Meaning, I was there for a lot of memes and chaos, too. I miss some things and not others.

You won't see me engage with drama and discourse a lot. I keep many personal opinions private or restricted to close friends, as one should separate personal life from public life. To be honest, no one cares much what I think (again, thank goodness). Won't ever bother putting up a DNI list.

I usually follow back. If your blog is blank (as in you don't reblog anything), I might follow back if I know who you are.

Among other artsy things I like doing: drawing (not too well), singing (okay to well), playing a few instruments (okayish), typesetting (pretty well, actually). If cooking counts, then cooking.

My fandoms: I've been obsessed with lots of things along the years. For every phase, I bookmarked lots of fanart and wrote a bit of fic. My interests come and go. They're mostly anime/animated series and video games. I'm also a “mild kpopper” and a dormant rock/metal enthusiast.

My favorite characters: too many to count. They mostly fit the “well-meaning but kind of a jerk” archetype. They don't have to be morally gray, but can be. I don't vibe with stupid characters a lot. My favorite works of fiction are a bit or very tragic. I love bishounen/bishoujo in character design. My ships are based on if I like the chemistry, not much on the characters' genders.

As for my writing strengths: I'm good at putting one word in front of another and finding mistakes. That's the gist of it. Many writers struggle with low productivity and procrastination, and that isn't my curse, fortunately. I can work with a preexisting idea and propose solutions, maybe even add a thing or two. I'm also very critical of things and quick at noticing patterns.

As for my writing weaknesses: I don't think my ideas are too innovative, and while that doesn't matter a lot in the bigger picture, it makes me a little sad. I recycle ideas and themes a lot and hope no one notices. Whenever I'm forced to create, instead of working with preexisting things, I go ughhhh. I used to joke about how I had one idea worth writing every six months. It's been different these days, and I took notes of all nice ideas I've been having, but it's pretty recent. I'm also bad with prompts I don't click with.

The rest like prose, characterization, style, etc. is up for debate, and to some degree, a matter of personal taste. I like to think I can adapt to the needs of whatever I'm writing.

Do you write original fiction? Yes! I'm just not very far into them. I won't disclose much about it, though. Not now, at least. Some are more slice-of-lifey, others are more fantasy-like.

You can find my compiled social media and writing profiles in this carrd. If you don't feel like clicking on the carrd, here are the fic sites:

Archive Of Our Own (most up-to-date, missing older works and personal vents)

Fanfiction dot net (not very up-to-date because I hate this website)

+Fiction, formerly Nyah! Fanfiction (in Portuguese only, has lots of old stuff and vents)

I have a Wattpad account with nothing posted.

I'm used to talking about myself, since nine times out of 10 I'll be brooding in the corner and people get curious. I don't know why exactly that is. Hope you could get to know me better!

[dhiatzs]

Big spoilers ahead: My thoughts about Sorcerio and Odval during my Part 3′s bingewatch

Listen, I’m a simple woman. I see Odval having more screentime than needed, I’m instantly happy

when you’re a religious advisor who betrayed the crown but you’re still being nice to the prince

Is Odval kind of… like… protecting Zog??? He’s protecting Zog. Yeah it sounds like cruelty or shit but like. He doesn’t want to kill him and literally opposes twice when the Archidruidess wants to kill him. Please let the Seekers be the good guys. please. ffs.

The new edict about the clothes i’m crying

That slight hesitation Odval has when Derek asks him to play with him is like. No. I’m sorry but I decided in my mind that Odval probably has played with Derek at least once. You see how reluctant he looks???? He already did it once in his life you can’t change my mind.

“If someone else is plotting without us I will be very miffed >:(” Odval I love you with all my heart

the three-eyed binoculars ffs

can we talk about the fact. The Archidruidess clearly says “the sex bingo!”. But in part 1 episode 4 Sorcerio says “the elf. speak only in code” to Odval. Which means either the Archidruidess doesn’t remember the Seekers’ code or Sorcerio made it up and no one followed him in this. I don't know which option is the funniest

i like everyone in Dreamland but you guys better stop hitting Odval or I’ll kill you in your sleep

“Derek: I love you so much more than New Daddy! Odval: I won’t say that doesn’t hurt…” oh no

i don’t remember who on the internet said Odval and Sorcerio’s potential was underused but this new season clearly solved the problem

Sorcerio : *arrives at like episode 3 after Odval and the Archidruidess did all the work* Me : Ah yes, here comes the best part of this series

i swear to god i know Sorcerio’s part of the Seekers and of whatever scheme they’re doing but am I the only one with the thought he’s tourist in all these shenanigans? Like he wasn’t even around during the whole killing-Zog-and-Bean-and-manipulate-Derek thingy. This man doesn’t care

appears reading a book, which is a mood, also calls Odval darling I’m uehgdf

“But often the craziest thoughts are the most true, ya nutloaf<3″

basically does for Odval what Odval did for him in part 1 (aka reasuring him like “nah you’re not crazy ily<3″) which. Means their couple is balanced. What a goal

okay also I don't know how to describe whatever relationship Bean and Odval have, like “I don’t trust you but I work with you and I tolerate you”, but it gives me life.

I’M SORRY ARE THEY FOLLOWING A COUPLE THERAPY I’M LITERALLY CRYING 

IT’S BEEN LIKE TEN MINUTES SINCE SORCERIO’S BACK AND THEY HAVE LIKE 0 TIME, THEY’RE GAYER THAN IN THE PREVIOUS SEASONS

the fact odval knows Sorcerio would mix up the pages>>>>

“odval never had the nerve” I’ve got this trope I love about coward villains, villains who can’t be described that much as villains and villains who are more okayish than other villains and Odval fulfil this trope. Sorcerio does as well but like. I wasn’t ready for Odval to be in that trope too. 

DID ODVAL JUST SAVE BEAN’S LIFE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THAT

sorcerio says “wink” instead of actually winking, this old man is a blessing in so many levels

i call sorcerio and odval being at the window near the throne room a date. Don't @ me

i also call sorcerio and odval being in the stairs while Oona and Bean are on drugs a date. Don’t @ me

are they... like... working to fix the curse. are they trying to help. istg if it’s what they’ve been doing all along i’ll be so happ 

they…. did they already went to flea markets. is what “antiquing” refers to. are there flea markets in this universe. probably but like. i was joking before but going to flea markets together is an actual date i’m not sorry

i also call sorcerio and odval eating chicken together in a room a date, don't @ me still

everytime Sorcerio calls Odval “Oddie” my mood of shipping them gets stronger

“You can trust us” “Wink”

When you don’t know what a prognosis is but you still wear these Glasses™️ 

“This is a job for a wizard of exceptional power. So I’m out”. I. Freaking love him.

I- did he go to college

did he OVERWORK in COLLEGE

A WITCH FROM A NEAR KINGDOM KNOWS HIM???? AND KNOWS HE’S INCOMPETENT???????

excuse me that’s so many information about Sorcerio in like so little time

“once the dumbest person in the room has spoken, we can go on” “.... what just happened? :(”

*me having a very quick panic moment when Zog almost kill him like seriously I like ONE stupid wizard in this castle, I know he’s a traitor and all but Don't you Fucking dare hurting him

also fuck the dummy who hit Odval. bitch

[pinehutch]

Hello, darlings.

If you celebrate Christmas, I hope your day has been peaceful and happy and safe; if it wasn't, I'm sorry, and you deserve better.

If you don't celebrate Christmas, I still hope your day has been peaceful and happy and safe, and with some joy in it. If it wasn't, I'm sorry, and you deserve better.

I want to tell everyone that it's okay if you're not okay. What I mean is that it is not a failure to not be okay right now, at the tail end of this year.

Here's the thing about my 2020, just mine, just the small and personal: my dad died and we never had (couldn't have) a funeral; and his second family don't want anything to do with me if they can help it; and I have isolated as a high-risk person for most of the year; and I've seen my mother and brother and nieces once since last December; and work has been a lot of worries; and writing comes and goes; and I am discovering my greed for love is stronger than I thought, but my desire not to be seen asking for it is stronger; and, and, and; and other things, besides. Any of this would be enough to leave someone melancholy on a Christmas night. And I'm one of the lucky ones.

Not to mention the other axes on which I'm privileged, I'm also a (white) Canadian (have access to and don't have to pay out of pocket for most healthcare); I have a job that transitioned readily to working from home, and I've always worked on teams that cross time zones and regional boundaries; and I can afford to do things like upgrade my internet service and my Discord subscriptions so I can have better quality video calls with my close friends. To my knowledge, I haven't gotten covid, and I've only spent one day at a workplace outside of my home since March 13. All of that and honestly, I'm okayish at best.

All of those advantages and I'm still, frankly, a bit of a mess. And I'm old enough to be settled and confident and whatever else real adults are supposed to be and do. Twenty years ago me? I can't imagine her getting through this at all.

So if you're feeling loved and warm tonight, and dreaming of a winter's night a year or two or three from now where you can be surrounded by your loved ones, thank you for holding on to that light and hope—

And if you aren't feeling loved and warm tonight, or if you're feeling loved and lost, or smothered and raging hot, or any other way — thank you for being here, still.

[thatadhdmood]

Okay so how does one balance RSD and the need to talk to/be validated by your friends/SOs with the fact that they may not have the time/energy to do that? My SO never really has the time to chat unless we’re together in person, which only happens about once a week and it makes my brain go haywire. Some of my friends tend to self-isolate during their own depressive episodes, which is them dealing with their own stuff obvi and they have a right to, but it happens to do a number on our friendship

do something to distract urself like fall into a hyperfixation

get some internet friends, from a discord or videogame community or smth so they can help keep u going when ur friends are busy

maybe try reach out and check in with ur depressed friends and send them memes or stuff to let them know ur still there for them

try connect with any of the friends not self isolating when you can

maybe make some new friends if you can, im not saying to ditch ur current friends. just like some surface level okayish friendships for if u wanna chat or go out to a mall or smth and all ur other friends arent free. not all connections have to be deep, and its always good to build connections as backups in case ur friend group falls apart

if ur SO doesnt have time then maybe if the stuff theyre busy doing stuff from home at any points u can just sit in the same room as they work and stuff, even sharing a rooms nice :P maybe talk to them about it as communication is key and see what they think about it and if they can fit you in their schedule or find time to talk online more

idk im the self isolating friend so its hard to think of ideas lol!!

if anyone has ideas the notes are your stage

[lunch-is-banging]

not a suicide note.

  every time that i feel like i am getting better, something bad always happens and i realize that i was never getting better. i really did feel like things were starting to get better though. the weather was beginning to improve, i found someone that i really like. i was starting to be genuinely happy. but of course, something had to happen and i go back to square one. i go back to feeling like i would be better off dead, like nobody likes me, like i will never amount to anything. i go back to thinking that i am worthless and incapable of being loved, no matter how many times people remind me that they love me. i feel like everyone hates me, and like everyone is constantly judging me. like i can never do anything right.

i know that i am overreacting. this is not a big deal, and it will eventually blow over. i think what hurts the most about this, is that i now know that some people actually think the things i think about myself. i try to comfort myself sometimes in thinking that no one really thinks that. that i am the only one who feels this way about myself, once again i have been proven wrong. i can’t lie, it really hurts. like really hurts. it felt like i was finally starting to be comfortable in my own skin, and i was finally starting to be confident, but that all went away within a day. two posts on the internet, over 100,000 views collectively and about 1000 comments about me. that is the definition of humiliating. i know that it’s stupid to be upset about what a random person on the internet thinks about me, but i can’t help but to be upset about just that. why am i like this? so emotional. truly pathetic.

i hate feeling this way, because sometimes other people notice and then they feel bad for me. that is always the last thing that i want. i hate people feeling back for me. it makes me feel worse. it also makes me feel good though, it is nice to be cared about. that is really the only reason i am still alive. because i know that a lot of people care about me, and i know that a lot of people want me here. if i kill myself they will be sad. i do not want that. that would be selfish of me.  i try to not be selfish if i can help it. if this were a perfect world i wouldn’t feel like this, and i wouldn’t be writing this right now. of course, the world is far from perfect. so here we are.

sometimes i think about what life would be like if i did decide to kill myself. if any of my attempts succeeded. how people would react. how different things would be. i know that my parents and my sister would be sad. i know my friends would be upset. i know that people i used to go to school with would post me on their stories saying some dumb shit like “i wish we got to talk more.” or “we didn’t talk, but you were so loved.” when in reality they wouldn’t give it a second thought. nobody cares about you until you are dead. when you are alive, they could care less about you, they could treat you like actual shit, your existence means absolutely nothing to them. that’s crazy to think about.

this is not a suicide note, if you haven’t caught on yet. i am just venting about my feelings, in a healthy way. i won’t lie though, i already got some of these feelings out in an unhealthy way. oops. currently 25 hours, 18 minutes, and 27 seconds clean. woohoo. i was so close to a month clean. but that stupid video happened. those stupid comments happened. and i broke. i don’t know when i’ll be okay again. but hopefully it’ll be soon. i don’t know how much longer i can live like this. it really sucks. waking up and feeling like shit, feeling okayish throughout the day, and then by night going back to feeling like shit again. but really feeling like shit. crying myself to sleep has become a new daily. i hate this! so much!!

i do try to be okay though. i don’t want other people to worry about me. i don’t want other people to leave me. i don’t want this to ruin anything. people tell you that they will always be there for you, but they won’t. most of the time anyway. as soon as things start to get really bad people leave, and that sucks. it’s not anyone’s fault if someone is mentally stable enough to help someone else. but i would rather them just say that they can’t help me because they are not in a good place rather than them leaving. or maybe they just leave because they think you are so fucked up that you are impossible to love. i know i can be hard to love. i know that i am not anyone’s first choice, but i wish they wouldn’t leave. hopefully, he won’t leave.

if i ever do kill myself though, i don’t want anyone to think that it is their fault. no one is to blame but me. it was my own choice to do that. i would never do that because someone told me to. I would never blame anyone either. i would just hope that people would be able to recover quickly. i know that wouldn’t happen though. but if i ever do, please don’t blame yourselves. please don’t think you could have done something, you couldn’t have. i won’t tell anyone that I’m about to kill myself. i will probably just write a paragraph saying how much I love you and shut my phone off. I might leave a list of passwords; I don’t know though. some people know my phone and computer password already though, and my password is pretty much the same for everything, using capital letters and special characters as needed though.

what do you think the afterlife is like? i like to believe in a heaven. and although i guess I’m not the best christian, i would like to think i would go to heaven. heaven is supposed to be paradise. everything you can imagine and more. i could see mamaw again, and grandpa. i could see uncle norm and uncle chuck again too. another chance to hug them. that would be so great. nothing can be taken for granted there. you get forever with the people you love. how could you NOT want something like that? you get the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect teeth, perfect skin, perfect stomach. no one will call you ugly. no mean things will be said about you. everyone will love you. why wouldn’t someone want that? ugh, so tempting. just to say fuck it and end it all. what do i have to lose?  is my future really that bright? will i be happy i stayed when i’m older? so many questions, but no answers. not yet at least.

maybe one day i won’t feel like this anymore and i will look back on this and laugh. i will look back on this on something so silly to be upset about.  maybe i will just look at this like a small little speed bump on the road of life. ew that sounds so cheesy. you get my point though. things happen for a reason, i guess. Hopefully i can find the reason for this though.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Oh not again the Paywall!

… Oh boy. This comic will be deader than expected.

When Dobson announced a few years ago he was working on a new comic involving a mountain cabin and supernatural elements, I was at the very least intrigued enough to see where this was going. I never expected it to be a groundbreaking comic or the worst thing anyone has ever done, but considering his track record so far when it came to creating original, long planned out comics, made me at least curious. Would it be better, worse or more woke than Alex ze Pirate. One thing I did however hope for was that Dobson would be for once smart enough to not hide his stuff behind a paywall, which has so far always killed his comics that are neither Ladybug or SYAC related. But hey, unlike Dobson, I can admit when I am wrong with an assumption.

 To be clear here, I am aware that Dobson “hides” the comic behind a 5000 dollar paywall only so that some person who donates to him the necessary dollar a month to see the panels uploaded by Dobson thrice a week can no longer do so and leak them to kiwifarms.

 However, even the dollar per month thing to me is a very, very dumb idea.

 I get it. People want to make money of something they create. I don’t hold it against webcomic artists to sell merchandise/tradepaperbacks of their stuff or create additional content to their regular updated comic pages, that people can pay for to see. But here is a major difference between Andrew Dobson and almost every other webcomic artist out there and which has been a key factor in why Dobson’s career as a comic creator has never taken off to.

 Webcomic artists stay relevant, by making their major comics public.

 I know Dobson’s work for a couple of years and the overall quality (or rather lack thereof) in his work aside, one thing I was dumbfounded the most off was how he basically sabotaged his own “career” in the medium. I have read a couple of sprite and webcomics over the years and even if the webcomic in question was utter bullshit for some reason cough sinfest cough one thing I saw was that in one way or another the comic and its artist would find an audience, BECAUSE the comic was easily to access on the net. You did not need to pay for the privilege of seeing  something someone created out of a whim. You could see the thing develop and go on because the person creating it became aware of people liking it and in doing so getting an extra boost to continue on.

 And by doing so, as time went on those people would eventually manage to make money of their work and even improve at least some aspect of it, may it be the storywriting or just the artwork.

 But Dobson made sure that when he wanted to start off his career, his stuff would not be seen.

 See, before SYAC became the thing he focuses on the most, there were at least two major comic series Dobson created and wanted to make money off. Percy Phillips, a detective comic about a Holmes knock off and Formera, a story about a boy stuck in a prehistoric fantasy world, no one is really sure about where it was heading for (not even the author).

Dobson made sure there was fanart of his characters and at least reading samples of around 10 pages on average everywhere he went to online the most (deviantart and smackjeevee). But aside of that, he did nothing with his creations online. Some random, unregularly uploaded fanart on aside, he would never upload more pages of Formera e.g. on deviantart, nor information about the comics direction, assuring that average interest of people in his stuff and the story was dimished fast. And when people are not interested in your story, they are not interested in you as an artist much. And when people are not interested in you as an artist (and your behavior online starts to additionally alienate them from you even more) it is no wonder your career never gets off. Now some may wonder, if Dobson drew reading samples, did that mean he wanted to draw more? Yes of course he wanted. And he actually did. But you needed to buy the tradepaperback to see those pages.

Basically what he did back then was, that he falsely approached the “webcomic” audience in a manner more suffice for people who want to buy physical copies of comics in bookstores or comic shops. Release a few reading samples, hope they get people interested in you and then make money by them buying this stuff. However, this entire approach was faulty. First off, the general quality of Dobson’s writing and artwork even back then made it not really look in any way worth to buy the comic, when there were way better products to be found either professionally published or online. To give you an example, these are some of the opening pages of Formera, published around 2005-08.

By comparison, that is a page of infamous internet webartist Bleedmann and his Powerpuff Girl comic , released around 2006.

I am sorry to say that, but why should I pay good money for Formera, something that looks like it was drawn by an average 16 year old anime fangirl at the time, when I could have something “better” drawn and designed by others? Even if those others are freaking lolicons.

I mean sure, the backgrounds look okay here and there, but composition wise the thing looks just not good. And that is from someone who went to art school and had the gaul to talk shit about mangas?

Secondly, the reading samples where just the first pages of his comics in general. Meaning nothing really happened in them and with the lack of information about the comics provided, nothing was really there to get others’ attention. Add to all of that the fact Dobson wanted between 10 and 20 dollar for 170 pages on average or less (Look up Legends, the precursor to Alex ze Pirate. Only 78 pages! Formera at least had around 152 per volume at prices between 9,99 and 15$) when you could buy a manga with more than 250 pages for less at the time…

And people said nope and rather looked up what the heck this Sonichu was people talked about.

As a result, Dobson never really sold stuff as proven with deviantart entries like this…

and he cancelled his comics after 1 or 2 volumes, not even wrapping up his stories he was supposedly so proud of and wanted to tell. All because Dobson essentially cared more about “making quick money” instead of telling a decent story he wanted people to read.

By abandoning these projects (and the characters in it) unceremoniously, Dobson had in my opinion also contributed a lot towards his online infamy. After all, what are you supposed to believe about a creator, who abandons his own creation completely instead of at least trying to salvage it (he could have still made Formera publicly readable by making it a webcomic) and has the audacity to call the overall popularity of others (particularly anime and mangas) the reason for its failing success. Plus it seems that their failure was the main reason why he would rather create 4-panel or one page comics instead of stories with more complexity afterwards, which resulted in the way Alex ze Pirate was presented (and is a topic for a later entry) and eventually SYAC.

 Bottomline, creating a “paywall” for his original work resulted in people on average not becoming aware of Dobson as the creator of some okayish comics, because they never saw them and instead would be exposed to other, “inferior” if not outright meanspirited and toxic artwork and opinions. And creating a paywall for Cabin’s Rest, even if as minimalistic as 1$ will just result in history repeating itself. He can claim that he creates a great comic as much as he wants, if we can’t see it for ourselves and judge, we can only say “what comic”? He won’t gain widespread popularity this way, because so far only 13-16 people (the total amount of Patreons he has to my knowledge) even were able to see the comic.

And now not even they can, because Dobson wants to spite his critics/trolls and take away the chance for them to see it, by making it unwatchable for anyone. I know he claims it is only for as long till he finds a way to get rid of the leaker, but that also begs the question: How do you want to do that? How do you want to assure only those who will not leak it, see this comic? You have already so little traffic on the site, you should actually be happy even for trolls paying you, cause at least it pays for a Happy Meal once a month. Dobson, if you really want Cabin’s Rest aka muslim vampire comic to succeed, you should just make it public. I know doing so will mean you are also exposed to all your critics and yes they will find something to mock and criticize, but at least you are out and have a higher chance to find also people willingly ready to support you, cause they want to see it.

[evilkritter]

Still working during this (but I ended up dropping a day due to scheduling and emotional exhaustion). No organized effort to rent strike in my neighborhood so I'm pretty sure we're still paying : p

My writing's going okayish. Lots of moody scenes to write. That's convenient. The cleanup pass for this book might be a nightmare.

Moodswings are getting worse, but hey that's going around.

I set up this account to start petty internet squabbles over story telling styles for e-fame and to practice community involvement in prep for self publishing. Now I follow a bunch of communists, socialists, anarchists, and meme shitposters. Emotionally it feels like the discourse I should soak in while I'm writing.

Funny how things turn out.

[auncyen]

there was apparently a power and internet outage while I was asleep so, while I thought my area was largely spared the worst, I guess we're still having a little trouble and if we have a bigger outage at least I knew to be mentally prepared.

honestly as long as work goes okayish today I think I want to try writing this evening/tomorrow (I only have christmas plans for the actual day of so otherwise, THREE DAY WEEKEND \o/) so like. I hope the power at least stays on. internet going out might be a good thing in my case lol

[senshilegionnaire]

That's hyperfocus. Please don't eviscerate me for commenting?

Hyperfixation is being completely absorbed by a hobby or fandom or show or Thing or whatever, and if it's something you can exhaust and you do so before fixing on something else, you're left kind of emotionally rudderless. Mostly mine last for four or five years; sometimes they fall away entirely, sometimes they'll reappear if there's new material or new people involved.

You can like other things! But this is the one that gives you a frisson, that delights you, that inspires you; this is the one you could talk about for hours. "Special interest" is a term I've seen more for ASD and "hyperfixation" for ADHD, and they might? have? different neurochemical mechanics? but on the outside they frequently look like the same thing (and may actually BE the exact same thing.)

Nothing else is as interesting as this/these thing(s) and whenever you're not immersed in it/them, maybe you feel like you're wasting time or that everything sucks and is impossible to deal with. Or! You could be innocently doing a different thing you like but it turns boring if New Thing related to your hyperfixation comes to your sttention.

If you've been practicing coping with your brain for long enough, sometimes! executive dysfunction doesn't get in the way and you can use your hyperfixation as a reward for getting X Uninteresting Thing done. Sometimes. I'm 41 and inattentive-type and *know why I function this way now* and I still feel immense and awful guilt over not being able to concentrate on boring things but having all the attention in the world for Interesting Things.

Frequently you'd love to tell everyone else about Thing so they can like it and be happy about it with you. Only, sometimes it's something like bog bodies (hi!) and maybe archaic humans and related things like palaeolithic funerary practices, and you won't get too many takers for your infodumps in real life. Hurray there's an internet and sometimes it's not a mistake.

Anyway I know that for the ADHD brand at least (maybe for ASD too?) it's a new shiny thing or a deeply cherished shiny thing that has a lot of potential for new information or new deep-dives. That shiny newness aspect, or the potential for getting deep into nitty gritty specialist expert details, provides an external stimulus for producing dopamine. Everybody needs dopamine! But we're shit at producing it on our own. So an external hobby or interest that jumpstarts your dopamine is a precious hobby indeed. It's self-medication without the medication!

Here is an example infographic! Now, my mood is also smacked about by Bipolar II, which I take medication for, but the literal one time in the last three months that my happiness with my existence has spiked above "okayish to okay" (which i get to have because of the BPII meds) was the day I read about the 21k-23k year old fossilized footprints at White Sands, New Mexico, USA. Big!! Dopamine!! Hit!! from *really big-deal cool news* in my broader longterm hyperfixation (human prehistory with a tendency toward the macabre.) I was a little embarrassed that not even having a new baby niece gave me such a happiness spike as this "SO THERE, clovis-first is ONCE AGAIN proven to be bullshit" archaeology news, but I can't help the way my brain is wired. (She is super cute btw.)

(btw the app is daylio, it's a pretty darn cool mood and activity tracker, and bulletpoint/checklist journal. btw also, the earth symbol for research is still just me applying tuxedo mask to everything i like. im writing a fanfic set 12,800 years ago starring him.)

i mean ask me about bronze age bog bodies and the must farm textiles and the cave full of skulls in the outer hebrides and the ochre-covered skeleton from paviland cave and gobekli tepe and at-least-40k-yr-old cave paintings and how scientists have just figured out better methods than radiocarbon dating bc that craps out at 40k years anyway and and and i think i'm gonna go read some melanie giles before bed goodnight world

So gang - are hyperfixations “normal” or are they a symptom of something?

[random-someone-somewhere]

Question Time

I got tagged by the lovely @smilingspoiler Rules: Always post the rules, do all 11 questions by the tagger, write 11 of your own questions, and tag 11 people to answer said questions.

Favourite comic character? I don’t really read comics that much since 3rd grade so maybe Scrooge McDuck? That’s what I used to read in 3rd grade at least

DC or Marvel Comics? Once again I don’t really read comics so since I prefer the Marvel Universe I’ll go with Marvel

Favourite band? Imagine Dragons or The Chainsmokers

Favourite song? Either Believer(by the Imagine Dragons), Crying in the Club (by Camila Cabello), Dream It Possible (by Delacey) or Vagabond (by Misterwives) and yes I’m that basic. Deal with it

Where in the world would you want to visit? Well, it’s a big list but I think the top musts would be Greece, Rome, Angkor Wat, New York, and Macao. I warned you about my basicness

If you could hang out with any celebrity for a day; who would it be? Any of my favourite authors such as Rick Riordan, Cassandra Clare, P.C. Cast etc to chill and get some tips on writing or any of my favourite YouTubers such as Rachel and Colleen Ballinger, Shane Dawson, Taylor Nicole Dean and The Gabbie Show to chill with or maybe Donald Trump so that I can accidentally chop his covfefe off

Favourite book series? First of all, how dare you make me choose between my children as a respon- Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

Favourite author? Rick Riordan

If you could create a movie based on your favourite book(s); would you do it? Who would you cast? Yes I would and I have no idea who I would cast bc I am in no way updated with modern celebrities

A ring from one of the lantern corps has chosen you; which corps is it? (Like the Green Lantern Corps, Red Lantern Corps, Blue Lantern Corps, Star Sapphires, Indigo, Orange, etc…) @smilingspoiler Bc of you I just had to spend 15 minutes researching flashlights how dare you? jk it’s always fun to learn smth new Idk maybe the blue or the purple ones

What language do you want to learn? and/or How many languages do you know? Well, I always wanted to learn Greek, Latin, Russian and an Asian language(still trying to figure out which maybe Japanese or Korean). And I speak fluent Portuguese, and English, an okayish Spanish, some really rusty German meaning I can kind of understand it written and sort of speak it but I can’t understand it orally, and I used to be fluent in Italian as well, but it’s been so long since I used it that I can’t remember a word

My Questions:

If you wrote a book what genre would it be?

If you could tame any wild animal which would you choose and why?

What hobby would you like to be great at?(cooking, gardening, babysitting, etc)?

What’s something most people find boring, but you really enjoy?

If you could visit one major city in the world which would you visit and why?

Do you plan on living the rest of your life in the same country you were born in?

Besides social media, whats your favorite thing to do on the internet?

Tell us when was the last time you procrastined and why.

What’s your favourite flavour? (ex. salty, sweet, spicy, plain, etc...)

What is the house chore that you dread the most?

Tell us your three best qualities

I tag: @as-sane-as-she-is @boldlykawaiillama @singnomoreneroofficial @hellofromanotherdimension @daydream-of-a-demon @lizziethereader @fizzy12 @nothingbutprogress @twistedan @dicksoda  @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to

[umnachtung]

survey stealing prof strikes

A How artistic are you? Pretty much I guess? I mostly draw tho. But I like singing and dancing and I recently got more into writing.

Do you want to go to Africa? I kinda want to see Egypt tbh.

AC/DC or Aerosmith? neither ->same

Do you know what Armenia is?

Yeah.

B

What’s your beer of choice (if any)? Störtebeker Bernsteinweizen probably 

Do you know the title of Buffalo Springfield’s one-hit wonder? probably but I suck at recognizing names.

Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) No, but maybe I am. -x-files teme playing-

Which bank do you use? Spaßkasse

C Which comedian do you most enjoy? IDK, McElroy brothers?

Would you ever live in California? Nope.

Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? Probably.

How many different countries have visited? 3

D Do you believe there’s a devil? No.

Does eating dessert often make you feel guilty? Naw.

Can you legally drive? Nope.

What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Nothing yet. But I have finally some psyche appointments.

E How often do you drink energy drinks? never-> same

Where did you live when you were 11 years old? Berlin, Germany

Do you like the actor who played Edward Scissorhands in that movie? Eh. -vague hand gestures- Never cared much for him.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? nope.

F When was the last time you saw your father one-on-one? Yesterday.

Do you think French is the most beautiful language? Not the most, but I think it sounds neat.

Is Friday your favorite day of the week? uhhh... i supposeee?

Have you listened to Jimi’s song ‘Fire?’ nope.

G Do you have real gold jewelry? Lmao

How often do you watch ‘Gossip Girl’? Never. I dont care much about live action shows tbh.

Is Google your homepage? yup

Do you like Geico’s commercials? What is that?

H When did you last feel happy? :T HRRRMMN

Do you prefer Hollister, Hot Topic, or H&M? none of these tbh.

Did you dress up last Halloween? No, but I went to a convention cosplaying for 2 days close to Halloween so I guess that counts.

Would you voluntarily watch the History Channel? depends on the topic of the show -> same

I Have you ever been on an island? No..???

Would you be able to locate Indonesia on a globe? yes.

Do you know if Iceland or Greenland has more ice? Yeah.

Did you watch the last presidential inauguration? Naw...

J Do you enjoy jogging?  Maybe if i was in a isolated chamber with no one around to watch and in silence.

On which instrument could you most easily play ‘Jingle Bells’? guitar???

How much do you know about John Lennon? Nothing much really.

Do you know how Jell-O is made? Hot water and jelly powder probably, just in big quantities.

K Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Nope. I donut know how they taste.

Are you very afraid of North Korea? Not really.

How many pairs of khaki pants do you own? none -> same

Have you ever been a fan of the Killers? Naw. I don’t listen to much of their songs.

L Does it bother you when couples are lovey-dovey in public? Yeah, because I think it’s kind of gross for some reason? Not much a fan of PDA. I really don’t like it in video or movies either if they go on full on make out spree. Hand holding and small affectionate gestures are ok tho.

Do you have your own lighter (why or why not)? No, but I kinda want one.

In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? 2

What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? uhhhhhhh, lime?

M Do you believe in miracles (why or why not)? I believe in random favorable occurrences you cant manipulate the chances of happening.

What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? Don’t know em, Don’t care?

Do you care that Mars (the candy co.) uses deadly animal testing? This is new to me.

How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Through observing people affected by it around me. It seems, uh... harmless compared to other drugs? would try in safe environment but not as a joint. -shrugs-

N How often do you sleep naked? idk i dont keep count of that.

Do you actually check the Nutrition Facts before eating something? not really.

Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with ‘N’? Nine Inch Nails ????

How nerdy are you (in what ways)? Obscure niche nerdy with all that roleplaying and character making but not much into popular fandom stuff these days. I am too slow for it. Batman is ok?

O What do you think about olives? give them to me.

Are you much of an outdoorsy person? I would if the outdoor was not so noisy. 

How big of an Oprah fan are you? Not at all. We don’t have the show here so -shrugs-

How often do you shop online? Never. No moneys.

P Are you looking forward to your prom? If you already went, how was it? no proms in Germany -> can confirm.

How are your local policemen? Wearing blue, driving around in cars. iDK.

What is your ideal PB&J sandwich like? Eh... not much of a fan of those.

What do you think of the movie ‘Pineapple Express’? don’t know it -> same.

Q How true is the saying, ‘quitters never win and winners never quit’? kind of problematic. because sometimes you have to quit if it affects your future well-being imo???

Do you prefer Quiznos or Subway and why? None of them.

Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) I did and i forgot  about it. Could def get into  it again but currently idfk how that one works. What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who? When will my motivation come back from war?

R How many rooms are in your home? 3

Do you like raspberries? yesss

What’s one of your best memories from during a rain storm? The experience of a pitch black night by a lake and the lighting turning the scenery black and white for a moment. pretty intense and cool.

Have you actually read Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo & Juliet’? No, don’t care about this “classic.”

S Do you know any Sign Language? a little??? What is your sleeping schedule generally like? 2 -4 am til 12 - 14 pm :I

How well do you sing? okayish?

How often do you listen to 60-70’s music? a lot recently. Especially 70s psychedelic rock.

T What do you think of Twitter? I have one. It’s still confusing.

How much do you value the Ten Commandments? They are reasonable. Actually I think they should be a given(4th to 10ths). Weither you believe in a God or not? Like just be a fuckin’ decent human being?

Are there many trees where you live? yeh!

How much taller/shorter do you wish to be? I’m decently sized but a bit taller would be cool?

U Where do you usually buy your underwear? bon prix, h&m, c&a ?

How do you define ‘ugly’? Gross and morally unacceptable behavior?

Do you like to shop at Urban Outfitters? We dont have that here.

V Would you like being described as ‘voluptuous’? Uhhh... idk. describe me as bode instead?

For listening to music, do you like to crank up the volume or keep it calm? depends on the song and if I am alone at  home or not.

Do you ever watch the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show? No. the hell...?

Would you agree that ‘variety is the spice of life’? yeah.

W Are you currently on wireless Internet? no.

Can you recall memories of learning how to whistle? Yeah, my family made fun of me for not doing it right.

Do you go to White Castle or just vicariously through ‘Harold & Kumar’? Sure, just let me walk over  the fucking ocean to get there, I suppose.

Have you gone to Washington, DC? Did you like it? (OR do you want to go?) What even is there that makes it interesting to go there?

X Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? For my wisdom teeth surgery last year. I now am wisdom teeth free.

When it comes to ‘xoxo’, do you interpret ‘x’ as the hug or the kiss? I honestly read it as it says and not think much of hugs and kisses.

What does X stand for in Roman numerals? Can you write the previous number? ten. IX

Why do you think xylophones are only popular with young children? Because no one shows you big xylophones and that they can be cool beyond the age of 5.

Y Can you explain the meaning of the yin-yang symbol? Balance between two opposites?

Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are?

I have no clue.

Did you know that yawning is contagious?

yes.

Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? What even is that?

Z How many places’ zip codes do you know by heart? 

None.

What comes to mind when I say ‘Zero to Hero’? Robots movie and disney hercules.