#My brain needs stopping I hate it here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wonderful-world-of-midget-mcgee · 3 months ago

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Me: Damn, I got so many fics I gotta finish

Also Me: New idea, Jaime Lannister as Wyatt Earp AU

#Help I been watching the Wyatt Earp thing on Netflix #Now I got ideas I don't need #My brain needs stopping I hate it here #Jaime Lannister #Game of Thrones #Fanfiction #Game of Thrones fanfiction #writer problems #fanfiction writing

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topaziraphale · 1 year ago

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"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

#derpy speaks #good omens #good omens 2 #no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry #he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away.#meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving #idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse''#at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?''#doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once #he deserves that self respect #do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose.#everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through #but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing #is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭#but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story?#is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter?#someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it #not queued

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g0ref1sh · 2 months ago

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john and dave doodles. feeding a dying nation (pepsicola shippers)

#anyone here also a fan of hopelessly in love crushing Dave and oblivious John #they won't stop infecting my brain lately #i need them dead #why are they in boxes? because I hate them #dave strider #john egbert #pepsicola #johndave #davejohn #home2t4ck #homestuck #artists on tumblr

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arosebyan0thername · 5 months ago

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If there are a million Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them. If there are only two Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them (Eva Noblezada is the other). If there are no Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, Eva Noblezada and I are dead 😔

#hadestown #hadestown obc #reeve carney #eva noblezada #seriously im sick and fucking tired of the reeve carney hate on tiktok #'jordan fisher is the only orpheus that matters' 'jordan fisher shouldve originated orpheus on bway'#'they should replace the obc recording with jordan fisher' 'jordan fisher was the best thing to ever happen to hadestown'#shut up!!!!!!!#i adore jordan fisher but you are missing the point of theatre and hating on reeve in the process!!!!!#you can have a favorite but that doesnt mean the actors who are not your favorite shouldnt exist in that role!!!!!#but also your favorite is wrong!!!!#reeve carney brought more autistic swag to orpheus than anyone could possibly recreate!!!#he was naive he was soft spoken he was unaware of social expectations!!!!!#jordan fisher has such a raw powerful voice and thats not what orpheus needs!!!!! hes just a lil guy!!!!#hes just a lil guy who accidentally had a battle of the bands with the devil and won #because he has nothing in his brain except sing and love his girlfriend!!!!!#i love jordan fisher in everything ive ever seen him in and i adore his voice but please stop putting other actors down #im not a huge fan of the way jonjon briones plays hermes but im not out here talking shit about him!!@#or saying he should never have had the part in the first place #(btw i was joking about the 'your favorite is wrong' thing because - again - literally defeats the point of theatre)#please find ways to say that jordan fisher is your favorite without putting reeve carney down #and also please give reeve carney a chance and dont dismiss him just because he is less conventionally attractive #and hip in popular media and on social media #please give the role a chance for what it is and not just which actor you already like #i was pissed when i first found out they were taking damon daunno out for the obc and adding reeve #the only thing id ever seen or heard him in at that point was the live action rocky horror with laverne cox #and he was fucking riffraff #i was mad!!! i didnt think he could do it!!! but i love the show and i gave him a chance and now hes my all time favorite #between both touring casts ive seen and the pre bway cast recording and jordan fisher #just please stop being mean and give him a chance

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vbs-kaitos-big-naturals · 10 days ago

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hate the word problematic so much it used to be so fun like oh yeah this guy just being killed in this gas explosion is pretty problematic to our great plan but now i cant say it without getting flashbacks to awful twitter threads calling out some famous charity worker who marches for the rights of many for saying the word faggot in a non offensive manner in 1995 when they were 12 years old. please just say its wrong or it upsets you and move on with your life youre associating a perfectly good word with something so petty and hateful it disgusts me

#i speak #and honestly this goes for when its used for genuine issues as well #“mr beast is PROBLEMATIC he has CONTROVERSY we need to CANCEL him” mr beast needs to go to jail #mr beast is a walking human rights violation #what is not clicking here #cancel culture in general is bad because not only does it extremize the punishment for the most trivial things #it trivializes the punishment for the most extreme things #turn off your phone for a second and look into your own eyes.#free your soul. stop torturing yourself in the name of feeling morally superior.#i know thats so ironic coming from me the moral ocd person but you know its true at keadt #is this who you want to be? someone who never forgives? someone who will hate others for simply being human?#you could have been that person. if you were born into a slightly different financial situation.#if maybe you had different genitals. or maybe if you were a different ethnicity.#what would it take for you to be like that? would you like to believe you could be saved?#how would you feel if someone dug a past mistake of yours? maybe you were overly mean to someone because you had a bad day.#maybe you cheated on a partner.#whatever happened shouldnt define you right? youre bigger than your worst mistake.#everybody should be able to love and be happy right? you think everyone can be happy right?#idk. i really dont #there is something fundamentally different to how my brain works than everyone else i guess #tl;dr the word problematic is stupid and we should all stop using it in any way that has ties to cancel culture

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lynxfrost13 · 1 month ago

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Maybe I’ll finally Wanze post soon

#as in a more official lore post like holt awol and sonderbar got #ALSO IM SO SO SORRY I STILL AM GONNA ANSWER THOSE INBOX ASKS J SWEAR #Wanze is on the mind there is bugs in my brain!!! wow just like holt huh #their relationship is wild to me they go from barely knowing each other (occasional hallway acquaintances)#to Wanze essentially having the equivalent of a bag of bricks dropped onto her head #which needs a little or a lot of patching up and Holt does that for her #actually hmmm I wonder if I should more visibly leave some marks of The Oopsie on her face #apart from the permanently broken biores crystals #gotta think on that…#anyway I was especially Thinkin about how Wanze really does resent Holt for a while #it’s complicated it’s not completely Holt’s fault #like she can’t control what happened she can’t bring back her bioresonance she’s a medical eule not a miracle worker #she’ll never really understand what it felt like to be part of that mind link #and that leads to some insensitivity on Holt’s part bc she’s really trying to keep Wanze from decommission here #and Wanze! why are you moping you gotta act normal!! Come on Wanze!#neither of them really get each other bc they’re both not stopping and listening like they need to #but they eventually do #also fun Wanze fact but post head trauma fixup she still has to/wants to go to the kolibri library #for stabilization yknow (she’s a nerdddd <3)#however it’s weird and she hates it bc her fellow kolibris are there.#she does not sing the same song anymore and sticks out like a sore thumb when they’re together now :(#she goes at really weird hours when no one else is there to make sure she doesn’t have to see them #Holt sometimes is able to get ahold of books for her #consider them cuddling together reading #that is all #blorbo tag #wanze #holt #Kolibug

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s3d4t3m3 · 2 months ago

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Feeling like it's time to blow my brains out I need to lock tf in before I get kicked out of college cause my gpa so low I'm so much better than this I was a honors student man why am i ruining my life what the hell am I doing I used to balance the party girl lifestyle so much better but than it just started to be me waiting for the next high I need get a grip

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that-was-anticlimactic · 7 months ago

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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

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hannibalismos-jaaneman · 3 months ago

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(un)popular opinion: matrix should have been a standalone.

#raj shitposting #istg i rewatched the entire trilogy today ofc idgaf about the new ones and they should've def called off the 5th one- but who listens to me #fucking hated everything after the first one. THAT WAS ENOUGH GUYS THAT WAS FUCKING ENOUGH. LET STORIES BREATHE.#THAT WAS ENOUGH THE EXACT SAME WAY TBOSAS AS A STANDALONE PREQUEL IS ENOUGH LEAVE IT ALONE SUZANNE.#ISTG SHE IS FUCKING THINGS UP SO HARD. LIKE WHY CAN'T Y'ALL STORYTELLERS MOVE THE FUCK ON LIKE FUCKING LEARN SOMETHING FROM CHRIS NOLAN.#FR I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT LIKE Y'ALL OUT HERE RUINING STORIES THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE FRANCHISES.#anytime someone asks me to start a series be it a book or film i always back out BECAUSE SEQUELS AND PREQUELS RUIN EVERYTHING.#TBOSAS is fucking great as it is leave the enigma idgaf what happened to lucy gray CANONICALLY. I HAVE MY OWN INTERPRETATIONS.#MATRIX WAS FUCKING GREAT AS IT WAS IDGAF WHAT HAPPENS AFTER NEO REALISES HIS FULL POTENTIAL BITCH THAT'S ENOUGH.#make it a story about empowerment and then fuck it up because the protagonist needs a FUCKING GIRLFRIEND BITCH WhaT-#STOP RUINING STORYTELLING AS A SUBJECTIVE ARTFORM I DO NOT NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! I HAVE A BRAIN THAT THINKS!!!#AND IT THINKS OF MULTIPLE THINGS AT ONCE!!!#VISUAL MEDIA HAS NO RESPECT FOR THE INTELLECT OF ITS AUDIENCE WHICH IS SOMETHING I'LL SCREAM INTO THE VOID TILL I TURN GREY AND DIE!!!#stop thinking that people are stupid and curious. people can be smart and curious too.#smfh #film #the matrix

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aropride · 1 year ago

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i love psychology classes i love this shit. because i know like everyything but i get to share my opinions on the reading and i LOVE having opinions

#text #i definitely have a bone to pick with a lot of the field of psychology/psychopathology/etc & how it can be stigmatizing & traumatizing etc #for people who are already struggling with complicated and often disabling conditions and circumstances. and brother i'm picking it.#one thing i do hate about where i am like academically is that i know SO MUCH abt these topics but since all my informaiton has been from #therapy or from my own research i AM missing like. key points that i dont really know about. & thge stuff i know is definitely biased #towards things i'm more interested in or things i've researched for myself. but that means i spend like 14 weeks of class alreadty knowing #everytrhing and 2 just fucking speedrunning some section of psychology i knoww nothing about. like neurowhatever stuff i dont #get much at all like the physical brain/biology stuff. i vaguely know what a neurotransmitter is and the frontal lobe is the thing that doe #doesnt stop developing at 25 but everyone thinks it does. and thats all ive really got #like i do definitely need portions of these entry level classes but also ughhhhh. i know what anxiety is sherrie #Also i dont plan on pursuing psychology for like a career atm i just do not think i could handle a lot of jobs int he field and again i #am fairly critical of the field . i don't know enough about like antipsych stuff to have an opinion on that but i know that psychiatrists #often suck ass! and it's great when they dont but they often do. i don't remember what i was saying here

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chiosblog · 5 months ago

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Told ya they (for some reason) made, back in 1998, a whole rollercoaster based on 'Blue Tornado' the film with Dirk in it because of course lmao

Pls the font is the fucking same (kinda), the plane is the fucking exact SAME ajdndnsksbs

oh my god what were they thinking?? (thank you so much whoever had this idea in 1998)

#my god this man is hunting my life at this point #sorry i will never stop loving the failed italian top gun guys #ignore my brain consuming itself over this shit i literally cannot help it #thats the reason why i bought all themed merchandise they had #the coaster is really fun even tho it have its years #recently im starting to hate these kind of places even tho i loved them as a kid #mainly cause it triggered my anxiety way too many times #but today brother needed a day off cause hes not having the best time #so here we are screming over the coaster made over a Dirk movie #totally fine behaviour #dirk benedict #blue tornado #blue tornado 1991 #i need a statue in his honor there too now

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nyxi-pixie · 9 days ago

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Is been 80 years, Mother.

new chapter when?

My hyperfixation is thirsty for some fem skk. (._.)

Love you btw.

aaaajdkdzjdke hello anon<3 im glad u like it!! ive had a couple people ask when im gonna update so🤩 some transparency!

i am currently halfway through a law degree that eats up all my time and also the functioning of my brain. i started working on streetlights sept of last year + my writing has improved since, to the point that i Dont Like the older stuff. new chapter wld require me to reread all 123k currently posted words, edit it all for structure+style+continuity, finish a Lot of planning, and then actually write the chapter (and this arc is difficult for Reasons). its just v energy+time consuming. ive got a break in december so i MIGHT get back to it then, if i dont get distracted with other projects which are easier+more fun+also typically more well received. for now: hiatus. i am glad you like it though, i love to hear people are enjoying my stuff <3

OH + side note i KNOWWWW its just a jokey reference but plss😭it hasnt even been 6 months since ch24. i dont Need to excuse the time i take for an update, but just . delicate reminder that ur free ao3 fics come from the hands of Just Some Guy. id love to get paid to write fanfiction all day, unforch that would not be legal so. the only thing i get from posting fic is the infrequent engagement of my lovely commenters

#also careful saying femskk too loud around here. someone will hear it mentioned and go on a rampage for no apparent reason #LMAO #anyway. i stopped writing it in july bc i hated it and also it didnt get much engagement so i didnt feel like anyone was missing out😍#its got more since then and there are aspects of it that i think are worth writing. so ill get to it. but not rn #its just like. it started as a way for me to practice writing longer form stuff and like. give my brain something to focus on #bc i do love writing. but it started to be more work than reward so. the break was needed and will continue until it isnt👍#asks #nyxi on writing

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thinningoutgypsy · 1 year ago

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love how people expect to get better.

WHEN LITERALLY NOBODY WILL HELP & NOBODY GIVES A FUCK.

but yeah, totally i can get better

#su!cidal #this is a cry for help #i hate my brain #i cant do this #i cant stop crying #why can’t i just be okay #help plz #i don’t want to be here #bpd problems #i cant handle it #please help #someone help #pls help #send help #help lol #like why #i miss her #i'm dying here #i need her

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the-everqueen · 23 days ago

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i would greatly appreciate if the ocd would stop expanding the limits/shrinking the parameters of my wardrobe so that i could stop having meltdowns about my outfits on a daily basis.

#brain things #ocd #it's like. if my brain decides an item is Nice then we can't wear it bc we'll mess it up and ruin it #we have to wait for a mythical Good Day in order to wear the Ideal Outfit.#god forbid i sweat cry need to pee or feel the slightest bit sick or uncomfortable while wearing a Good Item #then it will be Ruined Forever #this has been a thing for me since i was like. six.#i remember going into my closet and touching a dress i'd deemed Fancy and thinking ''wow so pretty sad i'll never get to wear u''#currently this also extends to if an outfit makes me feel Good about Gender or Myself then i can't wear it out #i'm AWARE it's crazy idk how to stop it i'll ask my therapist next time in the meanwhile i spend a solid 20 min every morning #trying on outfits i'm too scared to wear outside bc that's ''wrong'' somehow #(granted it IS mid-80s here and humid as fuck so lately wearing as little as possible has been the primary goal)#one of the times i saw myself in fiction was in bllb when #they think they've found glendower and gansey is So Upset bc the Vibes Are All Wrong and he's wearing a sweater he hates #i feel u gansey. that is me so often. or vice versa.#when i wear a good outfit and then the day fucking sucks...#somehow it feels like an extra kick in the ribs #like noooooo i was supposed to be invulnerable i wore the Good Shirt!!!

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triglycercule · 26 days ago

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the procrastinator's urge to not do any of the schoolwork i have to do because this is what happens when i miss only THREE days of school (loss of motivation and flow,,,,,,)

#got yelled at because i missed 3 days when i was not in charge of the flight booking!!!!#HELLO!!!! YOU WANTED ME ON THIS TRIP!!!! DO NOT COMPLAIN WHEN I AM IN FACT ON THE TRIP!!!!!! FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is so jk horror coded (i will be doing it all anyways and i will whine and complain without any help)#jk dust would just do it easy peasy. jk killer could also but she'd just ask dust for the answers because its faster #on a side note i went to the beach today and all i could think of were those beach mtt headcanons from an ever so distant summer i made #those beach hcs are my FAVORITE set of hcs i ever made i will not lie #i dont even know why i came on this trip (because you were told you) when i am NOT gonna remember a single thing ‼️‼️‼️‼️#shouldve just left me in america smh i thrive in my home environment #and then i wouldn't be SWEATING ALL THE TINE I FUCKING HATE THIS #THIS PLACE IS SO HOT ITS LIKE THE HELL THAT IS SWEATY HANDS GOT A PHASE TWO AN NOW IS ATTACKING MY WHOLE BODY #SGOO FUCKING SWEATING I KNOW ITS HOT WHAYELSE CAN I DO FOR MYSELF YOU BITCHASS BODY!!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyways :3 #its actually not that bad i just like to overexaggerate. my homework actually aint that much #this vacation ends NOW (quite very soon. i am like a fish out of water here)#bring me back to america i need better service to be able to look at fanart and rambles and get my brain juices flowing #real tricule's seeing a brand new addition in a WHILE #real tricule

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ofcowardiceandkings · 1 month ago

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yeah so i think i was right about all the cyclical depressionses ganging up on me

#plus all the related Life Shit but also uhhhhh kinda bullshit move @ my brain #ive been off work for a few days with a cold & migraine combo so im sat here like M Yes Fuck This #sighs i guess i need to come up with a mitigation plan to stop myself doing dumb shit #i hate managing the spiteful toddler in my own head its exhausting #rory's ramblings

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