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herefortheships · 30 days ago

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On media portrayals of older women

Commentary on Lydia's characterization in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. 🕷

This post was originally a response to a post from two months ago, but it got so big (and also I kinda moved away from the topic a little), I decided to make it its own post. It's a long ramble, basically, about my feelings around how women over 30 tend to be written and how disappointing it often is, especially now that I am a woman over 30 myself.

Before I get to Lydia and my issues with how she was written in BJBJ, I just want to say something. There is a blatant unwillingness to represent an older woman who isn't a mother or, at the very least, married or divorced, and often those women who are depicted as individuals outside of these roles, tend to be either toxic or unhappy characters (Cruella De Vil totally came to mind when I just typed that 😆 But even Cruella is married in the original story). As a matter of fact, the ex-wife or divorced older woman is often depicted as a cruel, bitter, or even evil woman (Miranda Priestly form "Devil Wears Prada" came to mind. Hey, another iconic fashion industry character lol). Single older women are often also depicted as "ugly", or flat out scary characters (Miss Trunchbull in Matilda came to mind).

It's like for many screenwriters it's impossible to visualize a mature woman who isn't or hasn't been married, and is childless.

The issue is not that they are given these roles; the issue is that their character arcs often seem to revolve around these roles and their identity is very focused on being either the mom, the wife, or the ex-wife. More often than not, female characters over 30 that are good are usually moms or struggling wives, and their identity is confined or greatly centered around her role as the mother or the suffering wife. (Chances are, if she's happily married, she's either not the protagonist or the story is over 💀). And if it is not centered around these, then motherhood is something adjacent to the story in some way, shape, or form.

Using the first "Beetlejuice" movie we have an example of a happily married woman in a leading role, Barbara Maitland. She's not an older woman, per se, but she is a happily married woman in a leading role. But what is one of her main concerns as a character? She can't have children. So she does have a motherly-adjacent struggle. At least Adam accompanies her in this story thread and it isn't just a struggle Barbara alone is facing; both of them are pretty balanced as far as their struggles go in "Beetlejuice". (I could have also used Delia as an example here, but she isn't exactly the main character as Barbara was in "Beetlejuice". That said, she is both a mother and wife.)

I'm pretty new to the Beetlejuice fandom (as in I was a fan who watched the movie a few times a year around Halloween, but never actually interacted with fandom or analyzed anything, until I watched BJBJ and became totally obsessed), and as a relatively new fan who has been here since September 2024, I'm not sure what the expectations around Lydia's future were throughout the years in the fandom. But, I'm positive a lot of fans never considered Lydia would choose to get married and to a pretty regular guy at that at some point and become a mother. I'm sure many fans shared Winona's idea of older Lydia being a goth spinster, living a pretty unconventional, but happy life, just doing her thing. She might have gone into photography and kept interacting with the dead and being her goth, "strange and unusual" self.

So it must have been pretty shocking to see that older Lydia is not only a struggling mother, but she is also anxiety-ridden and in an abusive relationship with some normie guy.

Lydia at least has something that separates her identity as an individual from her identity as a mother, in her show, but it's made clear that getting into making the show was considered by her as "selling out", a sentiment that came up in her conversation with Delia. I wish they would have gone into that a little bit more, because it's not entirely clear how Lydia felt about the show exactly and what her reasons were to do it in the first place. Lydia's interest in photography from the first film, and subsequently from the animated show as well (meaning this was an inherent and very characteristic part of her), is non-existent in the sequel.

While it's understandable that "life happens" and people just change over time, and a life of seeing and interacting with all sorts of ghosts must have taken a toll on her, Lydia's characterization was considerably far from the person she used to be, and it feels like a lot of it had to do with her mother role.

I know a lot of fans also appreciate this, too, don't get me wrong; Lydia as she is now is relatable to many women's experience, but what I'm getting at is that a choice was made to write older Lydia like this, and that choice is the same treatment that's given to too many older female characters in the media. They chose to make her a struggling mother, is the point I'm trying to make.

Her character has also become more reactionary; she isn't exactly in control about anything. Even making her show appears to be a reactive decision, too, rather than something she did because she genuinely wanted to. She's even taking medications to get through the day when she starts seeing ghosts (Nadja disappears after Lydia takes the pills, so one can assume she takes these pills to quiet down her psychic abilities and stop seeing ghosts; Rory's comment in the bathroom also supports this).

Lydia is indeed, overall, unhappy, and she has been for a long time. Not saying this is a bad thing; stories need conflict, and it would have been strange if she was living her best life at the start of the film. After Charles funeral we confirm that she wasn't exactly happy when Richard was around, either ("our relationship was over long before the accident", strange thing to say to Astrid when she's questioning her about why she cannot see her father). Things seemed to have ended amicably between them, but it looks like Lydia was not happy in that relationship by its end.

Lydia only seems to take control when her daughter is in danger, so that which spurs her into action is more linked to her mother persona over any other conflict that's more directly linked to her as an individual. If it wasn't for Betelgeuse's intervention, she might have even ended up marrying Rory, who, not only did she not love, he was also using her and being emotionally manipulative and abusive.

I know Lydia at some point became affected by seeing ghosts every other day through her life, as evidenced by the pills, but (and this is something I talked about before here) the way they ended the previous film, there was nothing to indicate that Lydia was in a downward spiral or that seeing strange things and dead people affected her negatively in any strong, life-altering way (unless Lydia was pretending to like the dark stuff before, and by the end she's more herself and admits to not like the creepy stuff; she does reject dissecting the frog in her science class, but then again, she asks the Maitlands to levitate her and pretty much do a ghostly possession in the house for the "Jump in the line" scene. But I digress. Lydia's character arc in the first film is an analysis for another post).

Moving on, Lydia's brief experience with Betelgeuse in the first film also does not justify her current emotional state for the reasons stated above and in that post I linked. Losing Richard also doesn't seem to be enough of a reason to have created the emotional issues Lydia is struggling deeply with in BJBJ, and it does seem that the movie pointed at that, but it was poorly done, when Lydia told Astrid she didn't have a relationship with him long before he passed away; she also didn't have a strong reaction to seeing Richard in the afterlife.

Whatever happened to Lydia that led her to this current state wasn't properly explored, is what I'm getting at, because the film decided to focus her character struggles mostly on her relationship with her daughter, over her own personal conflicts as a separate individual. Lydia as the suffering mom, struggling to connect with her daughter was the focus of her arc. Did we ever get to know exactly why she was willing to marry Rory despite clearly not loving him? (she even seemed disgusted by him kissing her and when he tried to kiss her lol).

Was it because she thought he was her only chance at being happy again? Was it because she thought she needed to be married for Astrid, to rebuild their family? Lydia's actions were entirely steered by Rory; he emotionally manipulated her so much, he made her believe she had feelings for him and start a relationship with him, even. Maybe it was him, the one who convinced her to start the show in the first place, to take advantage of her psychic abilities (which he totally believed to be bullshit, anyway, but he thought he could use her delusions/fake claims to attract fame and money), he was her producer, after all. (Actually I think it was him who convinced her?? Was she making her show before meeting him? Lol I totally forgot this bit. Fill me in because I've only watched the movie twice.)

By the end of the film, ironically, Lydia takes more control for herself when she sends Betelgeuse away (and I say "ironically" because, without Betelgeuse she would still be stuck in the same toxic situation she was with Rory. In fact, things would have gotten much worse as Rory would have gotten away with his plan. She also had no issues handling Betelgeuse during all scenes they had together; she would even raise her voice at him and act exasperated with his behavior--that is not typically how a person who is terrified or traumatized by someone acts around them, but ok...), and she makes a choice to be more focused in her life, assuming she did quit her job, which is up for debate, depending on when the dream sequence started.

Without Betelgeuse, Lydia would be stuck in a terrible relationship, where her life would have been ruined, and she would have also lost her daughter on Halloween night when Jeremy used her to get his life back. So it's really strange a choice (and poorly executed, again) to have Lydia's character resolution be sending Betelgeuse away like she's finally confronting some deep-rooted fear or trauma, when her character really wasn't explored individually all throughout the movie to showcase in what way exactly did her brief interactions with Betelgeuse over 30 years ago might have crumbled her emotional stability to that degree. The movie isn't clear if her depression and anxiety are related to losing Richard and therefore that's what she needs to heal from; or if it's more related to her past trauma around Betelgeuse, and then, that's what she needed to heal from.

There really should have been more of a focus on her as an individual apart from her struggles as Astrid's mother for her character to really have a good payoff at the end. And truly, if facing Betelgeuse was going to "fix her", then she's back at square one when he shows up on her bed at the end. Lydia's character and story are incomplete. More reasons why we need a BJ3.

What's truly going to heal Lydia is her finding herself again, as just Lydia; not the mother or the TV presenter. And she must get there herself, not have it all fixed for her by Betelgeuse yet again or another external force. She has to make a choice for herself. They need to show her picking up her camera again, and yes, enjoying the "strange and unusual". She needs to embrace her otherness and be herself again.

(And if she doesn't want to be alone... she shouldn't go after a guy like Rory or a normie. She needs another weirdo like Richard who loved scary movies, or, ahem, Betelgeuse, who has already proved he loves her more than any normie ever could.)

I can't stress enough how disappointing it is that mature women are mostly presented as moms or wives or even grandmas, without dreams and motivations of their own that are entirely separate from their (societal) roles. Mature men can be out there living adventures and doing all sorts of things, like James Bond for example. Meanwhile women are either divorced, mothers, wives, grandmas, aunts, etc and these roles are a huge part of what defines them as characters. And if it doesn't define them, they still are moms, wives, ex-wives, or grandmas. It's rare to see a single older lady doing her thing and being just a character and like, falling in love and going through a satisfying arc that has nothing to do with having kids, or dealing with estranged kids, etc. At least Delia was out there doing her thing in BJBJ; she was doing what she loved, while still being a mother and a grandmother, and a loving wife/widow to Charles. She was a realized character. And that's what I want to see, you know? I don't mind seeing an older female character who is married with kids (and even grandkids!), as long as she is also a fully realized individual when her character arc is wrapped up at the end.

If Lydia being behind the camera instead of in front of it in BJBJ is representative of her feeling lost in life, and her being in a toxic relationship and almost saying yes to someone she doesn't love or even remotely fit in with, then healed Lydia should be behind the camera again in BJ3, and saying yes to someone she does love and fits in with by the end.

I definitely want to see a Lydia who is more than Astrid's mom in BJ3; a Lydia who isn't easily manipulated and stepped on, and who has a firm grasp on who she is and a love for who she is. Yeah, I totally want her to end up with Betelegeuse (edit: And I am writing a post about why they are perfectly matched to complete each other's character arcs), but I also want to see her fully realized outside of the mother and (potential) wife roles.

#Lydia Deetz #Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice Beetlejuice #Beetlebabes #Beetlejuice x Lydia #Beetlejuice meta #things I write #This post was in my drafts for around two months 💀#But this is still not the long post I was talking about earlier #That one will take longer to complete #text post #long post for ts

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freefallfiction · 8 months ago

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File: Criminal Minds masterlist

Last Reviewed: 10/01/2024

Originally posted by tinywolfcoffee

rules No Pedoph!l!c Content No Minor Interaction Send Requests Through The 'Asks' Channel Fem!Reader Unless Requested Otherwise Don't Like Don't Read Mind The Warnings Have Fun

S. Reid

Pendulum

Claire knew she was different; in fact, it was one of the first things she really had to learn. Before that though, she simply thought the people she interacted with where disproportionally stupid. It was only after she realized she unnerved those around her, setting off alarms of warning of preservation, did she realize how special she was. Comparatively, it took Spencer Reid 1.39 seconds. (alternatively named 100 days of Claire)

prologue -Here! The Labrynth -Coming Soon! The Mirror -To Be Determined

United In Grief

How long can two hurting people hold on with only love keeping them together?

Late Night Concessions

Someone broke into your place; it was just past midnight and the rain was near deafening, but you were sure that was the sound of your front door window being shattered. With your phone on silent and Spencer’s number already dialed, you can only hope they’re here for your purse and tv and not the hiding girl beneath the bed.

Re-Run Special

Spencer finds love with a genius hedonistic girl who turns his world upside down, but their clash of personalities can leave him feeling a little left behind.

Play Your Cards Right

Y/n always loved Yu-Gi-Oh. From watching the show as a kid to trading and playing the card game, it’s always been a part of her life-- she should have known her boyfriend would try to learn it for her.

Coffee, My Secret Admirer

He had been wanting to try out the coffee shop on west and third for a while now, and he finally had the chance. He never thought he’d be caught up in a romance when a beautiful girl hopped over the counter and took his order, nor did he think they’d turn into not-so-secret admirers of one another.

Scale of Mental Stability

When a string of murders pick off where a long-arrested serial killer left off, the FBI’s first stop is the children of the cursed family. The problem? The only person who hates the man more than the son they arrested, is the daughter who’s out for blood.

My Hermes (Sending Me Letters From Above)

A coincidental meeting years ago leaves Spencer enthralled by a voice heard in the most unfortunate of circumstances. Y/n couldn't forget the man who gave her the best gift of all, the phone call of a lifetime.

The Seven Stages Of Loving You

A seven part series where Spencer falls in love with the BAU’s CI, or, Spencer finds out just how hard it is to build a future with someone constantly attacked by their past.

Absquatulate

Years had passed. Cases opened and closed, books were written and sold, the world spun and spun until... until it didn’t. The world kept moving until three am on Halloween night-- six shots of whiskey deep-- the world crashed down.

A. Hotch

Last Man Standing

No matter what it takes, even as bodies fall all around him and blood paints the streets, he will come home to you.

Just Like The Movies

It was a rare sight even before what will henceforth be known only as 'the incident' for Aarons smile to stretch so wide his eyes crinkled in a boyish manner that everyone believed was lost to time. It must have been a miracle.

The Egg Crusher

Serial killers in their own backyard had a tendency to start fires within the team that burn hotter than usual; one targeting pregnant women was practically begging them to shut him down. Aaron had begged her to take off work and finally start maternity leave. The worst part was she listened; the constant messages to his work email that set of ‘nesting’ alarms in his head had him convinced she had dived head first into it. Then he gets one signed off with the hidden moniker used when one of them gets themselves in trouble.

D. Morgan

Where You Go (I Wanna Go With You)

Derek always believed the job came first; complete the mission however he needed to for the case to close and the rest was simply collateral damage. Even now, when all is said and done, he couldn't say when his priorities shifted.

Where You Go (I Go)

Derek knew what it meant to be a great soldier. He knew how to follow all the rules and take initiative when appropriate; he’d learned these things as a means of survival. Even if the country he serves has dwindled down to one person, he knows to do everything in his power to get to her till his dying breath. (a part two)

Domesticated

The people at work tried to be more encouraging than envious when her boyfriend insists on driving her to and from work some random Tuesday. The imposing figure the man struck was intimidating, yet they all called him her ‘doberman puppy’.

J. Gideon

The Heart

He thought he'd lost it forever; for years it had been pegged as just another thing the horrors of his profession had stolen from him, a risk his mind simply wouldn't allow him to take. He should have known the brain had no power over matters of the heart.

E. Prentiss

Dancing With The Stars

Maybe in another world, when Emily crossed the dimly lit ballroom with a cutting smile and wandering hand, she did it without the mic in her ear.

E. Greenway

Comfort, Come Forth, King Forge

It was a dangerous field; that was all anyone ever said- you're a small girl, they'll eat you alive. For years after the academy she was always a girl first agent second; then she met her.

D. Rossi

Bella, Ciao

He may have chosen the wild life, but his heart remained every faithful in her hands.

These Trembling Hands

He thought it might be over; similar fates have happened to men far more successful than he. A mission gone wrong and they're sent to recovery, a mandates psych eval that already is stamped 'denied' to send him into retirement. He never thought he'd last this long in the first place, and if the pretty psychiatrist was his parting present he'd be a fool to look the gifted horse in the eye.

P. Garcia

Something Lost, Something Gained

It was a gilded reassignment that brought the new liaison to the team; she was, perhaps, the only agent who loathed the idea of being tacked on to the BAU's list of revolving-door members. The Cyber Response Unit had been home ever since the academy, but a single misstep had started the spiral towards madness, better known as the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Hopefully there would be someone on the team that wouldn't inherently know every little secret which had been carefully tucked away.

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dyns33 · 3 months ago

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Flufftober 2024 - 26 Vaas Montenegro

"… No."

"Why not, nena ?"

"Just no."

The memory of the previous year still haunted the entire camp, who dreaded the approach of Halloween and what Vaas had prepared to have fun with his pirates this time.

Even if Y/N had almost begged him not to do anything, before trying to convince him with kisses, then ordering him with threats, but it was obvious that their leader had really enjoyed seeing them scared, and spending a few days on the couch would not be enough to make him change his mind.

For several weeks, he had disappeared deep into the jungle, asking not to be disturbed. No one was crazy enough to disobey but the noises and crazy laughter that echoed between the trees were not very reassuring.

Y/N was probably the least nervous, because despite his obvious madness accompanied by mood swings, Vaas cared too much about her to hurt her. That wouldn't stop him from finding it amusing to play pranks on her that he deemed innocent and harmless.

The problem was his very personal definition of "innocent" and "harmless".

The pride was visible on his face when he presented his creation to her. He had once again been very inspired by Hollywood movies, and with all the abandoned buildings on the island, he hadn't had to sweat much to create his own house of horror.

"The giant mouse would be super jealous if he saw this. I could sell him the concept for his crappy park, but I don't like him, I'll cut off his head and put it in the decor."

"Are you talking about Mickey ? You know he doesn't really exist, right ?"

"Of course I know, nena. He only comes out during parades. So, do you want to visit ?"

"Once again, no."

"But whyyyyy ?" he groaned, jumping up and down like a disappointed child.

He was kind enough not to force her, unlike his pirates who had the choice between a bullet in the leg and living "the best experience of their entire futile existence". Many chose the bullet in the leg, until it was obvious that they would then be forced to crawl into the house to see the macabre spectacle no matter what.

And hearing the screams, it was better to be able to run.

It was impossible to know what exactly was going on inside, because either the pirates were so traumatized by the attraction that they didn't speak for days, or they were so afraid of Vaas that they kept it a secret.

In an attempt to convince her to go in, the pirate leader had suggested to Y/N that they go together.

"They'll be less aggressive if I'm here. Or more aggressive ? I don't really know."

"Who are 'they' ?"

"I don't know anymore. They must not remember either with all the drugs I made them take. Shall we go now ?"

"… You promise me that we really won't risk anything ?"

"Hermosa. I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect you, like a superhero. Like Captain Phillips."

"I think you are mixing up several movies, but I will take a big risk and trust you." Y/N sighed.

"I admire this proof of immense love that also clearly indicates a mental problem. Come on nena !"

In the end, Y/N saw almost nothing of the attraction, so scared that she spent the entire time in his arms, her face against his neck, while he oscillated between laughing, murmuring comfort and barking at his creatures who were getting too close.

He apologized when they were outside. He didn't think she would be so scared, when she wasn't afraid of him at all. He was much more terrifying than that.

To do things right, he went to get flowers and forced his pirates to find candies, chocolates, all the best sweet things on the island to please her.

He chose a not too scary movie to watch together, even if he considered that Cats wasn't so bad, singing all the songs.

With a huge smile anyway, he agreed to stay with her all night because she was still too scared to sleep, and he would be there in case of nightmares. Y/N wondered if that wasn't his goal all along.

But his plan having worked too well, Vaas felt a little bad seeing her still panicked the next day, continuing to pamper her until she felt better. Maybe she made the most of it by pretending for almost a month, but if he realized it, he didn't complain.

#flufftober 2024 #vaas montenegro #vaas montenegro x reader #vaas x reader

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thealmightyemprex · 4 months ago

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to my friends , Emprex's Horror movie challange

Im not good at these and its been a while....But I think they are fun

With Halloween around the corner,I wanna get some horror reccomendations and share some

Rules

1.Each participant shall give 4 horror films they love (DOnt be afraid to go obscure )

2.I shall compile a masterlist

3.From each list pick 1 horror movie from each participant but it must be one you havent seen before (If a persons list is full of "Seens its " for you you may skip that person or pick another from the rests of the lists

4.Once your list is compiled ,you have till October 31'st 2024 to watch all the films,and after each film post your thoughts

Emprex's offerings

Ghost Story 1981-4 old men (One Fred Astaire ) encounter a figure from their past (Alice Krige ),terrifying film

Salems Lot 1979-This Miniseries has a small town beset by vampires and James Mason

Tourist Trap -Group of people end up at a tourist trap with a mad mannequin maker with telekinetic powers.Frightening performance by Chuck Connors

Ravenous -a soldier (Guy Pierce )in the 1800's faces off against a super powered cannibal (Robert Carlyle ),homoeroticism ensues

So.....Who wants to play

@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland

@theancientvaleofsoulmaking @countesspetofi @piterelizabethdevries

@princesssarisa

#horror movie challange

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astrumnihilum · 3 months ago

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Keep watching The Edge Of Sleep even after release date!!

The goal for Mark's plan didn't stop at release date. The Edge of Sleep should stay in top 10 on

That site ^^ until November 11-18th!

You don't have to actively watch it: simply leave it going on another window/device and occasionally check in on it lt! I'm not sure what all they use for popularity, but watching it seems to work.

Also check out this article posted by The Hollywood Reporter:

This article really shows how hard Mark has been fighting for this show. It's a bit weirdly worded at some points, but it gets the main point across and is informative.

I haven't even heard of this! What are we talking about?

The Edge of Sleep is a horror/thriller story with an audio podcast, book, and now TV show. A perfect Halloween watch, the show features six twenty minute episodes all following Dave, the main character played by Mark, and his friends as they fight an epidemic that mysteriously killed the rest of the world. They must stay awake the entire time. Mark holds the important role of main character Dave and generously provided funds to the TV show.

Here's Mark's non-spoiler unoffical (better) trailer and the link to the show on Amazon Prime!

youtube

Happy Sleedging!!

#the edge of sleep #markiplier #teos #tv shows #horror #halloween picks #Youtube

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thgfanfictionlibrary · 9 months ago

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Friends to Lovers Fics Masterlist (5)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 /

Created: March 18th, 2024

Checked:---

A Girl, A Boy, and Everything Else.-CassandraO (ao3) Summary: It's been a year since the war ended. Peeta and Katniss are in the process of growing together. Peeta is learning about setting boundaries and taking better care of himself and Katniss is drowning in depression. How they grow together as friends and eventually, something else, all the while facing new challenges.

Arranged-CassandraO (ao3) Summary: Facing the death of her mother, 14-year old Katniss Everdeen and her 10-year old sister Prim move in with their widowed maternal grandmother, the apothecary's wife. In a world in which unmarried women cannot own property, Katniss' grandmother arranges with the town baker to marry off her eldest granddaughter at sixteen to protect her in case she dies before the girl is ready to marry. Luckily for all, Katniss gets to marry the youngest son, her close friend Peeta. Now, married young, the summer is coming, and with it, the 74th Annual Hunger Games.

Biggest Fan-burkygirl, Xerxia (ao3) Summary: Fanfic writer Peeta Mellark - Captain Amellarka to his readers - can hardly wait to spend a fun-filled weekend at the Québec Winter Carnival with Katseye, his beta and best friend. She's also possibly the love of his life, but he figures he probably should lay eyes on her in real life before he declares his undying devotion.

Crash My Party-Court81981 (ff.net) Summary: Modern AU. Peeta Mellark has never been able to say no to Katniss Everdeen. But after years as friends with benefits, that's going to have to change. Everlark.

Indestructible-HGfanonezillion (ao3) Summary: Mockingjay and Nightingale work hard to keep their city safe. But when Snow Industries introduces a new threat, can they keep the ones they love most safe? And will teaming up with Gaia and Electrode be a help or a hindrance? Just Friends-HGfanonezillion (ao3) Summary: Single father Peeta agrees to let his daughter sign up for an outdoor day camp for the summer. What he didn't expect was to befriend the director Katniss, a single mother herself. And no matter what all their friends say, the pair are ONLY friends. Right?

Mockingjay Inn-burkygirl (ao3) Summary: Katniss and Peeta are both frequent pop-in guests at an out-of-the-way B&B. One weekend, it is surprisingly booked up and the manager asks if they can share a suite in an effort to be less of an inconvenience for such loyal customers and since they sort of know each other.

Peeta's Blessing-cd291104 (ff.net) Summary: A Blessing In Disguise in Peeta's POV. AU/OCC. K/P have been best friends for years. They have difficulty with relationships. One night after a break up and with the help of tequila they find themselves crossing a line. The next morning they agree to pretend it never happened however that becomes impossible once Katniss confesses she's pregnant. Where does that leave them?

The One-burkygirl (ao3) Summary: Peeta is Katniss’s best friend and almost everything in her life revolves around him. When thoughts of Peeta start invading her dreams, Katniss must decide whether just being friends is enough.

This is Halloween-bubblegum1425 (ao3) Summary: Katniss Everdeen has been in love with her best friend, Peeta Mellark, for nearly as long as she'd known him. They'd grown together, carrying on their yearly Halloween tradition of watching The Nightmare Before Christmas and other scary movies, but this year was going to be different. This year, Katniss is finally going to use their time together to tell Peeta how she feels…if he doesn't ruin her plans first. College Everlark. Modern AU

#friends to lovers #masterlist #friendstolovers #thg fanfiction #everlark fanfiction #thg #everlark

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quintsmachete · 4 months ago

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hi everyone! with october coming up in 2 weeks i wanted to share a little horror movie challenge i try to do every year in the hopes that people will join in with me! so may i present to you….

ritchie’s

🎃💀 ABCs of Horror Movie Marathon!! 💀🎃

the rules are simple:

1. watch a movie starting with every letter of the alphabet for each day in October! you can watch multiple movies in one day (with different or same letters) as long as they’re in alphabetical order!

2. the movies you watch must be horror or halloween related

3. post your entries each day (if you’d like!) on tumblr or letterboxd with the tag #abcs of horror 2024 and tag me! i wanna see people’s entries!! ^__^

“but ritchie,” i hear you say, “there are only 26 letters of the alphabet and 31 days in october!!” yes, dear reader, that means you’ll get to have 5 freebie days! i know realistically you probably won’t be able to do a movie every single night, so i’m hoping that having 5 days where you don’t have to watch anything will help out a little!

so i hope you’ll join me in my funky little challenge! i’ll be officially starting october 1st with A and will be posting all of my entries & reviews! hope to see you guys then :]

reblogs are appreciated, and let me know if u have any questions!!

#beep beep ritchie #abcs of horror 2024 #movie marathon #horror #halloween #letterboxd

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popculturebuffet · 1 month ago

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Muppet Madness Christmas Double Feature: A Letter to Santa and John Denver X Muppets: A Christmas Together: Tidings of Mediocrity and Boredom (PatreonXComission For Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Muppet Madness, my look at all things muppety on this blog. It's been a while, as I took most of 2024 off muppet wise with me and emma, my friend who helps make this possible, mostly doing other stuff.

Still it wouldn't be christmas without the muppets and having ran through the holy trinity of Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Family Christmas and Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas, i'ts time to branch out a bit. SO when having movie night me and emma watched two slices of christmas cake: the 2008 special A Muppet Christmas: Letters to Santa and 1979's John Denver And the Muppets: A Christmas Together. And while these aren't the best muppet projects , and we'll get to why under the cut, i'm just happy to be back with these guys, something that's not stopping as next year we're hitting up muppetvision 3d, survival street's sequel the radical left and i'm hoping the movies I haven't gotten to yet. I at least want to get around to the Muppet Movie to make up for missing it's anniversary.

So with renewed vigor, holiday cheer and some good dollops of mediocrity, join me under the cut to look at some tv specials to see if they have that muppet magic

A Muppet's Christmas: Letters to Santa: A Rope of Sand

I came into letters to santa excited: Unlike the other muppet christmas specail/movie I haven't gotten to, this one had a good rep and seemed like it'd be fun. The muppets have a fantastic holiday track record as does Paul Williams, who did the soundtrack and co wrote this film. Paul Williams is a muppet legend, a musical maestro who wrote the amazing soundtracks to The Muppet Movie, A Muppet Christmas Carol and the cult classic Phantom of the Paradise which I not only covered this halloween but I consider an honorary muppet film. It dosen't really have any muppets like fellow honorary muppet film LIttle Shop of Horrors but it does have a kickass paul williams soundtrack and some weird shit, so i'm going to count it anyway.

Instead.. this one's a disapointment. It's not horrible. It's not Muppets Wizard of Oz which has lurked at the bottom of the rankings since I started doing these, but it's nothing really special. The 2000's were a time , not unlike now, where the muppets were spinning in the wind, with Disney occasionally breaking them out but having no clear direction.

And this spilled onto Muppet Family Christmas. While it was only a few years before the Muppets briefly revitalized things, it feels an ocean away, having a script cobbled out of so many stock plots it might as well have a water mark on it.

It's Christmas Time and Gonzo is mailing a letter to santa which gets derision from Pepe who dosen't believe. After a musical number featuring Jesse L Martin, who does a wonderful job and is enhusastic and who I love from his current show the Irrantional, Gonzo ends up thrown out of the post office and with three letters, one of which is from a little girl who lives in their building whose mom is 30 Rock's Jane Krakowski, and must go on a quest but oh no almost everyone else gives up and oh no nathan lane's in the way but they get through it with pluck and wonder and

Yeah there is.. nothing to this plot. You can have a thin plot and have it work with the muppets, easily. The Muppet Movie's plot is "Kermit goes on a wacky road trip to become a star and picks up the familiar troupe along the way while a corrupt frog leg salesman wants him to be his shill", The Muppets is your standard getting the band back together to save something under threat from a greedy developer, the great muppet caper is a nonsense heist plot bouyed by great songs, snappy jokes and Charles Grodin. You don't need a super deep or impactful plot: that can work easily, see A Muppet Christmas Carol, the muppets are versitle but as long as you have jokes and heart, the muppets will prevail.

This specail has neither. The jokes just aren't there, and the bulk rely on a buffet of celebrity cameos, which isn't unusual for the muppets but feel more shoehorned in than usual. Jesse L Martin's part as a postman who sings a number about doing the mail stuff is one of the few that feels warranted. We've got actors from the sopranos for a one dimensional mob joke, jane krakowski in a role that just dosen't fit her more acidic and hammy chops, Madison Pettis of Corey in the House Fame as a little girl, Uma Thurman constantly fanning herself because someone has a thing for that on the writing staff and Nathan Lane as your stock "Character who hate santa because santa didn't give him a toy"> I do like that his character does realize he was a bully and kermit turns him around, convicing him he can be better, but there's not much here and all these actors feel wasted. These four all have good comedic timing, but arne't given anything to do .

There are SOME jokes sprinkled in that work: some pidgeons our heroes try to get the fly the letters and everything Bobo does because Bobo is the best. But even Bobo being here feels like a repeat of Muppets From Space where he was the bumbling sidekick to the villian. There's nothing here that feels like it needed to happen. The music should be great, but while Williams tries a little, it's pretty forgertable. At the very least this means we get Williams himself as an elf and he is fantastic, entertaining and a shot of energy into the film, but it's disapointing to have a paul williams soundtrack I don't remotely remember after watching. That.. shoudln't be possible but here we are.

There's also an annoying subplot where Piggy is pissy about the vacation, wants to get to it immediately and is mad at Kermit for .. trying to help a child's letter get to santa. It's the kind of piggy I hate where she's just mad at anything Kermit does and takes it as a sign of his lack of commitment.. which is a serious problem with them as things go on, but in this case he wasn't waffling or not intrested, he simply was trying to do the right thing.

This film just exists. I didn't think I"d be this disappointed in it but the more I write about it the less I have to say. And it's not because it's funny it's because it's just bland. It's like someone put muppets into an ai generator. The muppets performers try, paul williams try, but the framework is so bland and cobbled together it just dose'nt work. Speaking of not working

John Denver X Muppets: A Christmas With You: Generations

Part of why I probably wasn't as hard on Letters From Santa before writing is that what came after was so much worse. John Denver X Muppets, and yes I do know it's and muppets but it's my blog and my joke, is boring. It's is the biggest blank void of a specail i've ever watched. It's a moment or two of what the fuck like john denver being a toy solider or dressing up weird, a really fucking nice hat that John Denver wears in the opening, and just.. nothing.

I HATED this thing when we watched all 60 boring minutes , even more when a section I missed thanks to a guest was rewatched later. The original intro to this was a lot angrier until I figured out why it's like this.

You see the same year John Denver guest starred on the muppet show. And while John Denver is not an artist I know that well only knowing him from a fictional character's rivalry with him when they were neighbors in Denver

It hasn't stopped me from enjoying a muppet show episode before: I didn't know Alice Cooper well, his episode is one of my faviorites. Same with Harry Belafonte and his episode IS my faviorite. The Muppet Show does a good job showing a star off and letting them run wild. And this episode was pretty good. I forgo tto finish it but no episode with a bunch of historic soldiers singing why can't we be friends (And sadly some native american sterotypes), before getting gunned down by statlder and woldorf can be calssifiedas bad

The problem is a christmas with you.. isn't a muppet production. It has them in it, in their vintage design glory and a subplot about miss piggy wanting a big roll.. but it's not their special. It's John Denvers. And thus instead of having chaotic muppet energy it has john denver energy. And John Denver is bland. He's the dry toast of Country Singers. He has made some good songs, but none are my style adn the christmas songs he sings here feel like several eternities. The bulk of the special is just john denver sings a boring ballad while I try not to

See even typing about it is a struggle. He only uses the muppets in a few segments and even those, while not as sleep enducing, still aren't rousing. Paul Wiliams didn't do his best for letters to santa but he's still paul williams. John Denver has a good song and probably more for people who like this but for me it's the worst parts of 70's music, those long dreary tuneless ballads, distlled into one bland special.

Ranking: As you can imagine neither of these really scored that high but since it's been a year since I got to break out the ranking list, i'm still happy to have it back. I may rework this into a tier list in the future, we'll see. but for now they scrape the bottom

Though just showing how high the quality is only John Denver and the Muppets and Muppets Wizard of Oz are geninely BAD. The rest have SOME merit tucked in there and even the John Denver special still isn't close. We really hit rock bottom early and hopefully we'll never dig deeper.

Next Time: A look at a soon to be lost disney attraction! We're back babY!

#the muppets #kermit the frog #fozzy bear #miss piggy #gonzo the great #pepe the king prawn #john denver #paul williams #uma thurman #jane krakowski #jesse l martin

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mikeywayarchive · 1 month ago

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LEARN MORE ABOUT "CHRISTMAS 365" IN A NEW INTERVIEW WITH THE CREATORS

12/03/2024 6:00am

Full interview under the cut:

On December 4th, Mikey Way, Jonathan Rivera, and Piotr Kowalski's new feel-good Christmas comic series, Christmas 365, launches in comic shops, so we sat down with the team to learn more about the inspiration behind the series, their favorite Christmas traditions, memories, songs, and more! And if you like what you read, don't forget to pick up Christmas 365 #1 from your your local comic shop!

1. Where did the idea for Christmas 365 come from? Mikey: I've always wanted to tell a Christmas story. Something that celebrated my love for the season and the mythology of it all. There was one December, I sat and watched some of the immortal classic Christmas movies. While watching, I started trying to figure out what story hasn't been told yet. I felt like they've pretty much covered everything you can think of with the holiday subject matter. Then the idea just hit me... What if Christmas didn't have to end? 2. Christmas 365 has been described as a “bizarre feel-good” and satirical story. Were there any movies or comics that inspired those tone of this story? Jonathan: I was definitely inspired by oddball suburban comedies like Better Off Dead and The ‘Burbs. I also love a movie called The Great Outdoors with John Candy and Dan Akyroyd. So those definitely played a part in our inspiration while telling the 365 story. Mikey: We wanted to tell a story that was a bit of Savage Steve Holland mixed with some John Hughes. 3. In the series, Peter and his family celebrate Christmas every month and create their own crossovers between Christmas and other holidays. What was your favorite holiday to Christmas-ify? Jonathan: It was Memorial Day for me. That was a true challenge. Mikey: I think the summer months were pretty challenging, as well as Halloween Christmas. That last idea has kind of been done so much at this point, it was a fun exercise to make it unique and different from what is already out there. 4. What was the most challenging part of creating this series? Jonathan: Time! There’s definitely a challenge to creating a story that takes place over the course of a year, but that’s part of the fun as well. Mikey: A big challenge for me was giving each character their own little moments to shine. There were a lot of interesting aspects to each of them and we wanted to be able to maximize that given natural story restraints.

5. By celebrating Christmas every month, Peter hopes to bring his family together and make some happy memories. What’s your favorite Christmas memory? Jonathan: As a kid, it was the presents. But these days my favorite memories are of the time my family spent together during the holidays. Except for any time I had to get dressed up.

Mikey: My favorite early Christmas memories were me and my brother trying to stay up late to catch a glimpse of Santa Clause. Nowadays, it's all about sharing the holiday with my two little girls and my beautiful family. It's the perfect time to celebrate our bonds together and creating traditions with them that stand out when they look back years from now. And some rapid fire questions: 1. What’s your favorite Christmas tradition? Jonathan: Christmas lights! Mikey: Buying people gifts and watching them open them. 2. What’s your favorite Christmas movie? Jonathan: It has to be a double feature of A Christmas Story and Scrooged. There must be balance. Mikey: A Christmas Story 3. What’s your favorite Christmas cookie? Jonathan: Gingerbread Men Mikey: Italian Christmas Cookies 4. What’s your favorite Christmas song? Jonathan: Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love. Although I highly recommend Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) by The Darkness. Mikey: Last Christmas by Wham!

END

#mikey way #jon rivera #piotr kowalski #dark horse comics #interview #2024 #dec 2024 #12/3/24 #12/4/24 #comics/graphic novels #christmas 365 #text #photo #originals

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fe-fictions · 1 year ago

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Kellam x Kiran Commission (I got sick and had a really rough end of year... here's hoping 2024 is a normal one! the flu killed me the last week of 2023 :") but here's my last commission! my resolution is to post more consistently from here on out LOL)

You were all thrilled at the thought of the Hallow’s Eve festival. It was a perfect break for everyone to experience between all the battles that Askr had to face.

That, and it provided an excellent opportunity for those who didn’t celebrate a similar holiday in their own worlds to have a new experience.

Kellam was one of these people; and he seemed to be particularly interested in the customs. It wasn’t all that different from the holiday you celebrated in your own world.

But seeing him so excited about it was the true joy.

“Wow…all these sweets and decorations- it’s all so colorful!” Kellam marveled at the beauty in front of you, utterly stunned by it all. The town was alight with the raucous fun of the town-wide party.

It was filled to the brim with adults and children alike, families boisterous while they danced and played about the festival.

You smiled softly at Kellam, “I must say, you do make a dashing pumpkin.”

“A pumpkin farmer, actually-” Kellam corrected you as he adjusted the large orange headpiece. “It wasn’t my first idea, but once we got to work on the costume, I couldn’t say no. It’s a little silly though, isn’t it?”

“I don’t mind it. It’s very charming.” You reassured him, making him chuckle bashfully.

“Really? You wouldn’t like it better if I were dressed as something fearsome, like a werewolf or a dragon?”

“It just wouldn’t suit you. I’m sure you’d be very handsome in either, but…I like this. Pumpkin Kellam is dashing all on his own.”

“You flatter me.” Kellam blushed, laughing nervously in a bid to hide the quickening of his heartbeat. “B-but enough about me! We should really enjoy this festival while we have a chance. I’ve never seen anything like it before!”

“Ylisse doesn’t have a Hallow’s Eve festival, does it?” You remembered the conversation from earlier, Chrom and Lissa chattering excitedly about being able to experience a whole new holiday (with said princess plotting out her “tricks” for said portion of the colloquial saying).

Kellam nodded as the two of you headed into town, starting your adventure. “No, I’m afraid not. We have a few holidays that are similar to ones that are held here in Askr, but there isn’t one that’s particularly similar to this one. I’m really excited about trying it out. What about you?”

“We do have one; though we call it Halloween. Similar theme, but rather than one big festival, we all go out into our local neighborhoods and give out candy to each other- it’s very popular with children. The adults who don’t have kids to take out treating will just have a big party or watch a bunch of scary movies, or-”

“Movies? What are those?”

“Think those photograph tomes that one Anna sells at the ocean, but it’s constantly moving for an hour straight; with talking and music and whatnot.”

“How interesting!”

“It really is. I wish I could show you,” You admitted, “They’re really fun to watch when it’s in a group or just with a friend or two. I’m sure there are plenty of movies you’d enjoy.”

“Don’t worry about that-” Kellam reassured you, “I enjoy spending time with you no matter what we’re doing, Kiran. I don’t mind missing out on a, er, scary ‘moving’ when we can do other things together!”

“Movie, Kellam- no ‘ing’ at the end.” You laughed, fighting to suppress your own blush at his earnest confession. “I’m sure we’ll have our hands full with this festival, anyways. Look at the size of it…”

You both slowed as you reached the town’s front gates, which had been clogged with people as they all struggled to enter and enjoy the celebration.

The noise was audible even from the back of the crowd, where the two of you were. It made your stomach twist, if only for a moment. You were quite sensitive to auditory and visual overloads, particularly when you were already nervous or on edge.

It was something you could fight through during battle, with the appropriate gear to help ease the tensions courtesy of Anna’s gadgets or some useful spells.

But when it was just the two of you, in a casual setting and no battle gear to be had…it was easier to get overwhelmed.

Well, that, and you had a very handsome, well built knight standing next to you, confessing how much he enjoyed being around you.

It was certainly a nerve-wracking experience, indeed; not one that you wanted to dampen his spirits with by leaving early or lashing out at him because of the stress.

You sucked in a deep breath, the two of you closing in on the entrance one step at a time. It wouldn’t be that bad; it would be loads of fun.

You’d get to play games, eat good food, dance and enjoy music; maybe even win a prize for Kellam. That’s what you turned your focus to; something you could definitely do. That you wanted to do for the sweet pumpkin man.

Naturally, just as you thought this, you felt a calloused hand close around yours, prompting a jolt and confused stare at Kellam.

“It’s getting pretty thick at the gate; I don’t want to lose you in the crowd. If you don’t mind, that is.” He explained quickly, and you shook your head.

“I don’t mind at all.” You replied with a geuine smile, giving his hand a soft squeeze. It was certainly the right call; considering within moments, you were thrust into an intimimdating crowd, being pushed and pulled in various directions while being jostled further into the city.

His grip tightened on your hand, trying to keep you close to his body for fear of losing you among the strangers.

The excited babbling of passersby sent a shiver down your spine, and a jolt of anxiety up your throat.

With a deep breath you focused on the feel of his hand, his warmth a welcome comfort in spite of the nerves gathering in your chest.

Kellam, in all of his sweetness, did not notice what was happening; but he could feel that you were squeezing his hand a little tighter than he would have anticipated.

He cast a glance at you between trying to navigate the crowd and getting through the entrance.

“Kiran, you all right?” He asked you quietly, which drew you from your nerves just slightly.

“Yes.” You swallowed, fighting to press those feelings down. “I just…don’t like the tight space. It’s a bit overwhelming, right?”

“You’re not wrong,” He agreed warmly, “But, we’re almost there! Look, the crowd’s already thinning right up ahead.”

“Finally.” You muttered, though the relief was countered only with the realization you would no longer be able to hold Kellam’s hand without reason. But the pain and stress of the boisterous crowd finally relinquished your anxiety, as people filtered through the damn gate and spread out to all the various stalls.

Once you were able to see something other than the costumes in front of you, you were both surprised by the beauty surrounding you.

Bright lights, autumnal colors that were saturated and cheerful, and the scents of sweets and savory meats filled the air.

It was hard to spot a single person who wasn’t wearing some sort of costume; even the knights stationed and on duty had some sort of little decoration on their helmets or chestplates.

You and Kellam were fighting to keep your smiles from widening; it was such a delightful scene in front of you!

“Wow, I don’t even know where to start. Look at all this!” He remarked, spotting a stack of flyers that were loaded with all sorts of pertinent information to the party.

He led you off to the side, out of the way of foot traffic. You looked over his shoulder, finding the loads of information almost equally overwhelming.

“Oh my god, look at all this- dances, games, contests…acrobatic shows and musical performances? And this is gonna go on until dawn!”

“These people definitely don’t mess around with their Hallow’s Eve partying, do they?” He turned the parchment over, finding a meticulous map outlining the location of just about anywhere you could go to have fun. “Well, I’m happy doing just about anything- what do you want to try first? Should we eat, or maybe play a few games?”

The thought of eating did make your stomach turn just slightly, reminding you that the anxiety wouldn’t go away just because you were entertained. It would only be a matter of time before the stimulation of your surroundings spilled over into some sort of attack.

If you could at least keep it tamped down for a couple of hours…

“U-um, I’m not particularly hungry right now. Why not try out a few games? I believe you owe me some prizes if you’re successful.”

“Of course. I’ll win you the best and biggest prizes I can manage- but don’t get upset if I can’t get anything good. I hear that festival games have a nasty habit of being rigged.”

“I’m sure we can figure it out,” You grinned, and you immediately headed off for something that you knew would be perfect for Kellam, given his deceeptively physique.

It was harder to hide his massive body in his costume, but given his lack of presence in the space, it was easy for people to dismiss him.

That would be the case, at least, until you requested a ticket to play the hammer game.

“So all you have to do is swing this hammer as hard as you possibly can…and if you hit the bell, you win the grand prize!” You explained to him excitedly, lugging the mallet from the staff member’s hands and hauling it to him. “Oof, this thing weighs about as much as you do.”

“I guess this isn’t a game meant for you to play, huh?” Kellam chuckled, gladly relieving you of the thing. He gripped it in one hand, managing it without issue. You were in awe of him; how one man could possibly be so strong was fantastical.

He weighed it back and forth, looking up at the contraption that he was about to absolutely obliterate.

“Try not to hit it too hard, Kellam.”

“No promises,” He grinned, “Not if you want that prize!”

It was as if he was deliberately trying to make you swoon. You couldn’t linger on the sweet words of the knight, for the mallet struck the base with a mighty crack, shooting the little piece so hard into the bell that said metal bit broke in two.

The passersby gasped, stunned by the sudden explosion of power that shattered the game.

“Kellam!!” You bit your cheek to keep from laughing, the poor man running the game pale from the shock of what just happened.

“Ahh…sorry, I didn’t mean to hit it that hard- guess I was just focused.” He chuckled nervously, handing the mallet back to the man. “So, Kiran, which prize do you want?”

“That one please, sir.” You pointed to the largest possible stuffed toy you could find; a fine prize that couldn’t have been handed over faster (for fear of the mallet coming down on his head, instead).

“What should we play next, then?” Kellam asked, “I don’t think we can come back to that one.”

The two of you were a fit of giggles, hurrying away to find something else to do.

And it didn’t take long. The hours of the night ticked by, the two of you filling it with apple bobbing (two for you, a stem for him), dart throwing, and tasting a number of pastries, sweets and hot, savory street foods that filled your bellies.

Perhaps this wasn’t so bad. Your nerves weren’t too high, and throughout the night you’d been able to avoid scarier or louder noises that might trigger an anxiety attack. The crowd thinning out from the front gates had been a gods-send, too.

There were plenty of people, and it was still pretty snug, but it could’ve been much, much worse. The noise was manageable, provided that you focused on Kellam. He could keep you calm. You were safe with him, after all.

Nothing bad could possibly-

Crash!!

You nearly jumped out of your skin when the sound of glass shattering hit right beside you. It was followed by laughter, but your heart was already thundering.

“What the hells-?!”

You were clinging to Kellam’s arm, looking for the source of it. Another game, shooting rocks at glass bottles.

“Oh, that one looks fun. Looks like someone figured out a trick,” Kellam was amused, trying to ignore you were wrapped around his bicep for fear of his whole body turning red.

“You can’t use magic to win this! You’re disqualified-” The game runner snapped at the player. What worried you was that the more he spoke, the harder it was to hear him.

The world was starting to get waterlogged in your ears, your heart pounding and your fingers trembling. You were on edge, before. But that shock was sending you careening into a panic attack.

“Kiran, want to try it? I won’t cheat, I promise.” Kellam offered, looking down at you when realizing you were unmoving.

In fact, you were frozen in place…and the prize he’d already won you was on the ground.

“Kiran?”

He realized you were breathing hard. Too hard. Your face was so pale-

“Um, let’s get out of the middle of the road, here-” Kellam stooped to grab the plush and hurried out of the way, taking you into a small alley off to the side.

He gently pulled you from his arm, his hands on your shoulders. He was concerned, clearly, and it made you feel worse. Or it would, had you been able to register what was going on outside of the panic bubbling in your heart.

Truly, all you wanted was to get out of there.

This was almost worse- enclosed space, panicking in front of your crush, and a boisterous crowd of strangers just outside…it was a nightmare.

“Kiran, what’s wrong? Can you talk to me?”

“I’m- um-” You stumbled over yourself, feeling the blood drain from your faec. “The sound startled me. I-I don’t think I’m-”

“You’re not startled. You’re…you’re panicking.” Kellam realized, leaning down so that he was at eye level. “You’re safe, Kiran. I promise. I’m here. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“I-I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” You looked away from him, your hands pressed to your forehead. You were trying to take deep breaths, but they were pulled from your chest, only making the tightness and pain blossoming feel worse and worse.

“Just slow down for a moment. We can get through this.” Kellam insisted as he took your hands into his, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Um…here. Just…just breathe with me.”

You looked up at him, somewhat surprised that his suggestion was actually one that was quite helpful with anxiety attacks.

“Trust me. I’m here for you.” He promised you, nodding to encourage you to try. You weren’t sure that you could focus beyond the fight or flight instinct that was practically screaming at you to get out of there.

Get away from all of this.

But it was the warmth in his eyes…the patient, encouraging smile on his lips. So you took a breath. Then another. Another, this one shaking, but deeper than the last. Kellam didn’t let go of your hands for a moment, a soft demand for your focus on him.

“You’re doing great, Kiran. Just keep breathing. In, and out. You’re all right. You’re safe here, and you’re with me. I’m not going to let anything happen.”

The beat of your heart started to soften, the thundering becoming much more of a softer roar rather than an unconquearable crash against your rib cage.

You managed to meet Kellam’s eyes, nervous, but starting to regain your focus.

Another shatter split the air, followed by raucous cheering. Your hands jumped in his, but he didn’t falter.

“It’s all right. It’s just someone playing that game, again.” He assured you once again, reminding you how sweet this man was in front of you. “Just focus on me.”

And so you did. You focused on his kind face, the warmth of his touch, his steady, slow breaths that you matched to his.

Slowly…finally…your heart rate managed to come down. You squeezed Kellam’s hands, once, then twice.

“I’m okay.” You managed to eek out some sort of comment, after you regained your breath. His gaze remained warm and comforting, but you could see he was still uncertain.

“Are you sure? We can stay here a while longer, if you’d like to.” He offered, “I don’t want to push you more than you’re able.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay.” You reassured him, nodding again. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to avoid looking at him. The embarrassment of what just happened was starting to sink in; to think he of all people would be the one to witness your upset!

“What do you want to do, Kiran? We can stay a little longer if you’d like, but I’m just as happy going home. We’ve had plenty of fun, but it doesn’t look like the party willl slow down any time soon. It’s probably going to stay hectic and crowded.”

“I-I don’t want to leave if you’r ehaving fun. I know it’s just a crowd, and I know it’s just games. I can handle a little more.”

“Hey.” Kellam’s hands were suddenly in yours again, sending a shock of elextricity through your fingertips.

“Kiran…please don’t push yourself on my account. What matters is what you want- no, what you need to do right now, so you’re calm and you feel safe, again.”

You pursed your lips, looking back to the jovial crowd just beyond the uneasy quiet of the alleyway.

“I don’t want to stop spending time with you.”

The admission was quiet, almost barely there. But Kellam heard you, loud and clear. And if his heart hadn’t skipped a beat before, it most certainly did in that moment.

“Well…you don’t have to stop spending time with me just because we don’t stay here. Why don’t we find somewhere just a little quieter first, and gather our bearings? Maybe there’s somewhere close by so that we can at least rest a little while before we head back home. I’d hate to push you harder before you’ve fully gathered your bearings.”

The young knight’s thoughtfulness was borderline shocking, how boundless it seemed to be. He offered you his arm, in hopes of keeping you grounded and steady when you ventured back out into the raucous festival.

Mercifully, the town’s archives weren’t far; a small, library-esque location that was plenty quiet compared to the goings on outside.

Kellam closed the doors quickly, giving you both a safer respite. It was finally clearer to you now, what had happened and where you were.

What he did for you.

“Kellam…how did you know to do that?”

“What do you mean?” He asked innocently as ever, and you looked down at your hands, fidgeting.

“How did you know…to calm me down?”

“Well, it’s not the first time I’ve seen a panic attack.” He said simply, “It’s a common sight, especially among new recruits. We’re trained pretty early on about how to handle the stress as it comes, and how to address and alleviate panic attacks. I’ve done it for plenty of other people, myself included. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’m…I’m not ashamed of it.” You said in spite of the blush rising on your cheeks. “I just wish you weren’t the one to see it. It’s not my best moment.”

“It’s all right- you’ve seen me at my worst more than once. I’d never judge you for something like that.”

“Even though it cut into your festival time? Wearing that handsome costume?”

Kellam laughed, his cheeks as red as the apples he’d failed to bob for. “Trust me, there’ll be plenty of opportunities in the future for us to enjoy a festival like this. It comes around every year, and sometimes more than once, depending on the realm we’re in.”

“B-but I…”

“It’s okay if you want to go back. We can get a nice cup of tea and sit at the campfire together. Besides, there’s going to be fireworks in an hour, if I recall. I’m not sure you want to be up close for all that noise…and all those people.”

You smiled sheepishly, conceding defeat. “I don’t know if that would end well at all.”

“Then we return home.” He decided simply, “Honestly, Kiran. It’s okay. What matters most to me is that you feel safe, and that you’re calm. I would hate to keep you here knowing you were on edge the entire time.”

“I…I’m glad, but…why?” You asked him in earnest, drawing your coat a little tighter around yourself. Kellam hesitated for a moment, considering his answer carefully.

“Because…you’re important to me. Nothing matters more to me than making sure you’re all right. Probably…more than anybody else.”

“Oh.” You looked down at your hands, your heart thundering for an entirely new reason. “W-well, I feel the same about you.”

“You do?”

He sounded so hopeful. You nodded, stealing a peek at him. “I do.”

“I’m so happy to hear you say that, I…wow, Kiran, I…” He found himself at a loss for words, laughing nervously in spite of himself.

To see a mighty, massive creature like Kellam alight with bashfulness made your whole body warm. What a sweet knight he was.

“Come on, let’s get back to camp. We should celebrate with that campfire and tea, don’t you think?”

“I really do.” You grinned, your legs still a little shaky from the receding adrenaline, but if not also for the hint of excitement that lingered for a whole new reason.

Kellam offered you his hand to take, this time; much warmer and softer than his arm.

He led the two of you from the festivities, taking care to avoid the more boisterous and raucousareas on the way back to the gate.

And of course, once you were safe in the warmth and quiet of the fire, you found it much more delightful and preferable even to the festivities.

There were few things sweeter than sitting together, alone and basking in the glow of a new, autumn love.

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