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watermelonlovershigh · 2 years ago

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You're a Little Too Loud in Bed (SMUT)

AN: this was loosely inspired by this tiktok. i instantly thought of writing a fan fiction when i watched it. and before anyone comes at me with negative comments, i would NEVER write a story where a child sees their parents having sex. that's very traumatizing for so many. this is as far as i'd go in writing something like this. let me know if you enjoyed!!

This story contains: sex, use of vibrators, crying child, comfort, reassurance, fluffy ending

{ dadrry - dilf!harry - husbandrry - soft!harry - 3 kids (2 unnamed, 1 named Masie [May-zee] ) - harry age 35 }

word count- 1,709

Due to the pleasurable sex you had with Harry, you accidently moan too loud and your daughter down the hall wakes up and gets scared that something is wrong with her mummy.

Harry was currently fucking you from behind. You're on all fours in the center of your king size bed, Harry standing on his knees as he thrusted into you. He had one hand on your hip and the other was reaching down, holding your vibrating wand to your clit to give you added pleasure as well as pleasure for him because the vibrations were hitting his balls with each thrust.

You were trying really hard to stay quiet because your kids were asleep in their rooms down the hall. But with Harry's long, thick cock pounding into your pussy and the steady vibrations attacking your clit, you were struggling with that. Even Harry was struggling to keep his moans at bay.

See, the two of you typically have two different types of sex in your sex lives. The sex that's more slow and anguished where you're all lovey dovey with each other. It can be done in the bathtub or under the covers. Basically love making. Which you'd say you do most often just because you both genuinely love feeling close to one another on levels other than physically, like emotionally.

Then there's fucking sex. Sex that isn't really love making but isn't too kinky either. You normally do positions other than missionary and add a couple toys into the mix. What you're doing now is what you'd consider more so fucking. When you make love you can normally keep quiet and allow your moans to travel into one another's mouths from sloppily making out. But with sex in doggy position with a vibrator in use, it's so much hader.

When you feel yourself getting close, you shove your head into your pillow to try and conceal the moans that you know you won't be able to hold in any longer when you climax. Harry doesn't even need to ask if you're close because he can feel you becoming wetter and your walls are starting to seize up around his shaft.

Harry leans over your back and heaves in a seductive voice, "Come on, let go for me. Let go, baby." He was struggling to hold off on his own orgasm because you just felt so good. And he wasn't twenty-five any more. He's thirty-five. Fucking you in doggy really wears him out.

"I'm, Oh God," you start to speak but are cut off when Harry begins moving the wand from side to side over your clitoris to speed up the process, "I'm coming. Holy shit!" Your back arches upwards and your hands grip the bed sheets beneath you so hard you feel as if you might just rip a hole in the fabric. Your vaginal walls squeeze Harry so tightly that he begins to come as well.

Once you start to come down from your orgasms, Harry turns the vibrating wand off and tosses it across the bed. His hips stop their thrusting and slowly he becomes soft within you. You're both breathing heavy and have a thin layer of sweat coating your naked skin. Your knees give out which leads to you laying flush to the mattress. And well, with Harry still inside of your cunt, he comes crumbling down with you.

He carefully falls on your back so he doesn't hurt you and for a minute you lay together in silence, soaking up each others comfort and love. That is until you hear a wailing cry coming from down the hallway. "Fuck," Harry grumbles, not wanting to separate from your body but knowing he has to check on his child, "I'll go see what's the matter, alright. You stay put." He really hoped whoever was crying hadn't been sick because he really doesn't want to deal with puke right now. But he would if he had to.

With a kiss to the back of your sweaty neck, Harry slips out of you and begins to shuffle off the bed and towards his dresser to find himself some briefs and shorts to put on. You turn around and get under the duvet to cover yourself up at least a little bit. After Harry is dressed enough, he flings your bedroom door open and quickly travels down the hall to where the cries are coming from.

He comes to realize they are coming from your daughter Masie's room, who's five years old. Harry opens her door and coos gently while walking towards her little bed, "Hey loves, what's the matter? Why'r you crying, baby?"

Masie looks at her father and makes grbby hands, wanting him to pick her up. She's a bit too heavy to lift like this but Harry will do anything for his children. Once she's in her daddy's arms, she cries with her little arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder, "I..... I heard mummy screaming. Is she, is she okay?"

Harry has never felt more embarrassed yet proud in his entire life as he does right now. Embarrassed that his daughter heard you screaming during sex. Well it was more so loud moaning that you tried to conceal best as possible, but to a five year old, screaming is the best word she can describe it as. And proud he can still make you scream during sex.

Rubbing a palm up and down her small back, Harry coos, "Shhh, she's perfectly fine, lovie. Mummy wasn't screaming in a bad way. It was happy screams."

As Masie's cries slowly stop, she demands softly, "Wanna see mummy, please."

"Okay, okay, but she'll come in here, alright. Here, sit on your bed and I'll bring her in here so she can tell you she's fine." Harry tells his daughter while carefully setting her back down in her bed. He would have brought her to you but he knows you're not decent at the moment, still chilling naked under the covers.

Masie mutters out a quiet, "M'kay." and waits for her mummy to come see her. Harry quickly goes back into your shared bedroom with embarrassment on his face. You look at your husband as he enters and question worriedly, "Is my baby, okay? What was wrong?"

He goes over to your dresser to pick you out some clothes and answers, "Maise heard you screaming. She thought something was wrong with you and was just worried. Now she wants you to come see her. Here, let me help you get dressed." Harry helps you slip over your t-shirt, not bothering with a bra around the house, and pair of panties and shorts.

Right before you make your way to your daughters room, Harry whispers, "Guess m'gonna have to hold your mouth shut next time."

You turn around with a cheeky glare and retort, "Hey, it's not my fault you fucked me so well. Can barely walk and my clit is still throbbing uncomfortably."

Hand in hand you enter Masie's bedroom and she's just where Harry had left her. When she sees you her bottom lip quivers and she begins to cry again, probably from relief her mummy was okay. No matter how good of a fuck you just had, your daughter's well being is your number one priority and it kills you that she was this worried about you. Thank god you have a rule in this house to always knock on your door so she didn't walk in on the act. That would have traumatized everyone.

"Hey, my darling, mummy's alright. See, I'm okay." you say in a comforting voice as you lean down to wrap her in a hug.

With her face buried in your neck, she asks, "You screamed happy screams?" You snatch you head around to give Harry who's standing in the doorway a death stare. How dare he, but also how else are you supposed to explain to a five year old that what she heard was moans from her parents being intimate. I mean it's totally normal and healthy for couples to have sex but she's way too young to know that right now.

"Yes Masie, mummy was screaming because she was really happy. You know your daddy makes mummy real happy sometimes. Just like when something is really funny and you laugh loudly, well that's kinda like what mummy done, okay."

She nods and questions, "Can I sleep with you tonight, please?" She doesn't really get to sleep in bed with you and Harry unless she's sick, but on special occasions you'll let her, or any of your kids for that matter.

Hugging her to you tightly and lifting her off the bed, you answer, "Yeah, I guess for tonight it won't hurt. Harry, go um, fresh," you try and tell him without saying it out loud, pointing at Masie's covers, "change them." you mouth the last part. Realization comes across Harry's face and he gives you a thumbs up before scurrying off to change your bed sheets.

Though you did lay a towel down during the sex, just something about your daughter sleeping in the same sheets and duvet you fucked on feels wrong. To give him a minute to change the bedding on your bed, you carry Masie into the hall bathroom and help her use the toilet before she sleeps again. Of course she's potty trained but still needs help wiping sometimes.

Five minutes later you walk back into your bedroom to see Harry just now finishing changing the bedding. He turns around and speaks, "There's my girls. Come on, get under the covers and lets give each other cuddles." Your family is very physically affectionate people. You all love hugs and cuddling one another.

You set your daughter Masie in the center of the bed and both you and Harry slip in the duvet beside her. Once Harry turns the lamp off, you both sink down under the fresh covers more and slide over until she's right in between the two of you. You each lean down and place a kiss to her tiny cheeks before settling in the warmth of each other for sleep.

Right as you and Harry start to drift off from exhaustion, you hear a small, "Love you." coming from your daughters mouth. Harry and you both reply back with, "We love you, too." and then sleep finally takes over.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet // @meetmyblondemuffins // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles // @skyangel57 // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss // @kissmyaxe140 // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore1 // @florencepughily // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom // @swiftmendeshoran

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My Masterlist Masterpost

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #smut #angst #dadrry #dad!harry #dilfrry #dilf!harry #husbandrry #husband!harry #softrry #soft!harry #harry x reader #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles comfort

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hannahhook7744 · 7 months ago

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Represent!;

Summary: The story of how Hannah Artemis Hook, captain of the Stormbringer, became the Isle Representative and villain wrangler.

(It's Zee Snoops’ fault).

Written with @igetthedisneybox.

Series: Isle Representative Hannah Hook.

Trigger Warnings: Plans of manipulation, swearing, stranger danger, financial issues, mentions of death/child death, children acting in disturbed manners, children raising children, etc.

Lmk if I need to add to the list.

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Mentioned Character Info Sheet:

Zeep Snoops, daughter of Madame Medusa and Mr. Snoops.

Hannah Hook, adoptive daughter of Captain James Hook and Zarina the pirate fairy.

Darius Foundling, son of the Pirate Pharaoh and mummy.

Willow Hawthorne, daughter of a Tree Nymph named 'Cherry Hawthorne.’

Elara Foundling, daughter of an unknown elf.

Marcys Foundling, Centaur and son of Nessus.

Skia Aoratos of the Underworld, daughter of Hades and Persephone.

River Le Beak, son of Beatrice Le Beak and Lord Fathom.

Lysander Foundling, satyr and the son of one of Chernabog's minions.

Fiona Foundling, fairy child of an unknown individual.

Noah Aoratos, son of Persephone and Hades.

Tommy Wonderful, daughter of Misty the Wonderful Witch.

Luke Tremaine-Westergaard, Drizella Tremaine and Prince Hans Westergaard of the southern isles.

Tiger Khan, adoptive daughter of Shere Khan.

Peachy Gothel, daughter of Mother Gothel and Captain Flynn.

Olivia LeGume, daughter of the Enchantress and Gaston LeGume.

Treycor Fae-Aoratos, son of Maleficent and Hades.

Eduardo Frollo, son of Claude Frollo and a woman named 'Esperanza Ladrón’.

Darcy Aoratoes, daughter of Hades and Queen Narissa.

Alexander ‘Alex’ Aoratos-Sinclair ||, son of Helga Sinclair and Hades.

Isaac Cipher, son of Bill Cipher.

John Facilier, son of Ursula and Dr. Facilier.

Moxie Frankenstein-Van Helsing,son of Elsa van Helsing and Victor Frankenstein.

Rodrick Nathan 'Nate' von Stiltskin, son of Rumpelstiltskin.

D.E Anonymous, daughter of an unknown individual.

Hope Sid, daughter of Yen Sid and Banshee.

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“You look half dead.” Zee Snoops remarked as Hannah trudged over to her.

“Darius and Willow are sick, Elara won't stop crying, Marcys and Lysander aren't eating, and Fiona won't stop talking about the place with the trees that she came from.” The eight year old pirate captain groaned, slumping down in her chair in her room/office. “I FEEL half dead.”

It had been a long year since she had first taken Fiona (age four), Marcys and Elara (age 1),and Lysander (age 2) and since then she had taken in two newborns (Darius and Willow) from their dying single parents.

That wasn't even counting Noah, also four, who spent the majority of his time with them like his older siblings did when his mother, Persephone, was gone for the Spring. Or little Thomasina 'Tommy' Wonderful, age five, who spent most of her time with them when her mother was too sick to care for her. Which, due to the magical barrier and her mom being a witch, was often.

Or the various funerals they'd been having to handle for their dead friends.

Or the comforting they'd had to do for their friends with recently dead relatives.

To say they were all exhausted would be an understatement.

Zee picked at her cuticle. “I don’t know what you were expecting, trying to parent half the island’s children.”

The smaller brunette rolled her eyes. “It is not half the isle’s children! And if I don't take care of them, no one will. The last thing the isle needs is more deaths.”

“We could pawn some off to your sister,” Zee suggested.

“No we can't. Harriet already had to take care of your sister, the wee smees, the Younger twoClayton brothers, Wyatt Wiggins, Na’vi, and the Lefou-LeGume-Bimbette children, among others.” Hannah grumbled, frustrated. “And she's stressed enough as it is.”

“You’re stressed enough as it is.” She pointed out, deadpan. “And we have, like, no money left. At all.”

“We have enough money. We just need to make more and I'm sure we will figure something out.” She rested her head in her hand. “I just need to figure out what that is. Hopefully before Skia and Luke get off work and River gets out of school.”

Zee rolled her eyes. “Gee, if only you could get paid for being…you, Hannah. Like, negotiating with people, finding loopholes, and getting people to do the right thing. We’d be fucking loaded.”

An odd look overcame Hannah’s features. The same look that crossed that of Nya Kaminari’s in Auradon’s Ninja Warriors when a light bulb appeared above her head.

The only cartoon either of them had ever seen.

The same look that both the cartoon ninja and Hannah always got before they got one of their crazy ideas that rarely ended well.

“Ohhhhhhhh no. You got them crazy eyes again.” Zee leaned back from her friend, like she expected her to explode.

The smaller girl got up, suddenly full of the energy she'd been lacking lately. A slightly deranged smile slowly creeping on her face—one that made it easy to remember just who she was related to. “Zee?”

“....yeah?”

She clapped her hands together, before rubbing them against one another, almost bouncing on her feet now. “I think I just found the perfect solution to all of our problems.”

Zee blinked at Hannah, before it finally sunk in what she meant. “Wait, you’re actually gonna try to get paid by being yourself?!?”

Her captain smiled innocently at her. “Something like that.”

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It was official: Hannah Hook had finally lost her fucking mind.

And her first and second mates, Lucas ‘Luke’Tremaine-Westergaard and Skia Aoratos of the Underworld, as well as her other close confidante, Bernard ‘River’ Le Beak, had lost their minds with her.

“You’re all going to hell. Goodbye!” Zee had facepalmed so many times in the last few hours, she was sure to have a permanent mark on her forehead.

“Hey that's my line!” Eduardo Frollo, the main cooper of the crew, (who was one of the few other people present at the moment) protested.

The others, on the other hand, just ignored her.

“You son of a bitch, I'm in.” Luke said, snapping his fingers after Hannah finished explaining her idea.

River mumbled “It's crazy enough that it might just work.”

“We should call a meeting and tell the others—” Skia hummed, bouncing Elara on her knee.

“Pause. We shall not call a meeting to tell the others. Why do y'all motherfuckers think that this will work!?”

“Cause it will!” Hannah said, feeding a fussier than usual Darius with a bottle she had somehow managed to get her hands on in the twenty minutes that Zee had spent gathering all the crew members she could. “I don't know why you think all of a sudden that it won't. This whole operation was your idea.”

It was an awful bold statement coming from someone wearing pirate footie pajamas.

“I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!”

Hannah paused.

And Luke snorted. “Well, it's too late now. Hannah and Skia already started drawing up the plans and making risk… ass-ess-ments.”

“And if it doesn’t work, we can always bite them.” Tiger added from the rafters, startling all of them—except for Hannah, who somehow knew she was there. What bullshit.

“Tiger no, we can’t just bite paying customers—”

“But I can. I don’t have a problem with it—”

Luke nodded. “She makes a good point—”

Zee facepalmed…again. “Well, guess we’re gonna hafta see how this shitstorm plays out. Can’t wait to see it crash and burn.”

“I'll get my dad’s final rights speech ready.” Eduardo snickered, leaning on a mop.

Skia shot him an unamused look, blue hair falling in her face. “Isn't it last rites? And you're still in trouble! Get back to mopping!”

“Tomato, Tamoto.”

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All of the Stormbringer’s crew members were crammed on the ship’s deck, waiting for their captain to make her announcement.

Hannah walked out from behind the curtains she'd put up, tri fold board in hand and dressed in her finest clothes.

“Oh boy. Here we go.” Zee muttered sarcastically. Someone shushed her.

Hannah cleared her throat, setting up the board and grabbing her sword. “I'm sure you're all wondering why you're all here.”

“I mean, this is…our ship. So no, not reall—OW!”

The brunette sighed. “Thank you Treycor, but you really don't need to hit your brother to shut him up.”

“You're welcome, Captain.”

The pirate straightened up. “Does anyone else have any questions or remarks before we get started?”

Darcy raised her hand. “Uh, yeah. Why are you dressed like that, Cap?”

“Because this is a special occasion!”

“That’s never a good sign.” John muttered.

“You don’t know the half of it.” Zee stage whispered in response to him.

Hannah ignored them, readjusting her blood red doublet frock jacket along with her equally as red Bicorn hat. Trying to look somewhat serious and sophisticated. “I'll take that as a sign to start—”

“Go ahead, Hannah!” Peachy grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

The brunette smiled at her. “Thank you Peachy! Alright, so, Zee gave me a brilliant idea for how we can make a livin’—”

Isaac cringed. “That’s not a good sign–”

“Shhh. You've had your chance to talk—” Hannah waved the seven year old off. “—now, as I was saying, Zee gave me the idea to charge people for what I do. Meaning—” A spot line shined down on the trifold board, revealing the words ‘Villain Wrangler and Isle Representative Hannah Hook’ written in big, messy, uneven letters.

Words that were clearly written in crayon. With many, many, childish doodles strewn about the surface of the board, such as King Beast with his head cut off, Skia’s sister Mal with her hair shaved off, Gaston being eaten by a crocodile, and Frollo in a frilly princess dress.

Zee was on the defensive even before the crew turned to stare at her. “Okay, FIRST OF ALL–”

The brunette quickly continued. Cutting her off. “—that I am going to become the isle’s representative and villain wrangler with y’all’s help!”

Dead silence.

“...yay?” Peachy clapped a few times. “What does that mean, exactly?”

Hannah beamed at her. Clasping her hands together (almost stabbing herself in the process, as she was still holding her prized sword ‘The Nut Slicer’ in her hands). “I'm glad you asked! It means that—”

She gestured at the ink stained, dirty, ruffled board with the sword. “—we need to make flies to pra-mote our new business and set up a phone line,” She moved the sword down before continuing “as well as make contracts and business cards after we decide what our terms and… con-ditions?”

Hannah looked at Yen Sid’s daughter, Hope— one of the oldest living member of the crew at twelve years old—to see if she was saying it right.

She reserved a thumbs up and a reassuring smile in response.

“So…you plan to make money from…what? Being nice to people?” Darcy wrinkled her nose.

Hannah shook her head, bouncing on her feet. “No, no. From manipulating people into doing what I want them to do to make our lives better and–and…” She paused for a long few minutes. Before settling on “And making their lives better in the pro-cess or making them think their lives are better if they're a big meanie.”

John nodded, like she’d just said something wise. “I like that plan.”

Treycor, on the other hand, did not like the plan if the way he had his head in hands said anything. Which it did. “Y’all are out of your Zeusing minds.”

Olivia, who usually just tolerated Treycor, was mirroring his pose. Looking like she was regretting ever joining the crew.

Moxie apparently agreed. “Zee, why did you put her up to this?”

And Nate? He just cackled from the crowsnest where he and D.E (who's face they still hadn't seen because she still refused to take off her mask and hood, and Hannah kept telling them to drop it) were sitting.

Zee spluttered. “I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!”

Hannah didn't seem even remotely bothered by their reactions. “So… does anybody have any questions or suggestions?”

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When most of her crew left for the day (the ones that had somewhere else to go, that is), Hannah got out her colorful ink, favorite quill, and parchment paper and started drawing out plans.

Laying on her stomach on deck and kicking her feet up in the air, head in hand.

“Whatcha doin’?” CJ’s voice was suddenly very close to her hearing aid.

Hannah jumped. “What are you doing on my ship?”

“I’m bored.”

“That’s not my problem and what have I told you about knocking!”

“I did! You just didn’t hear me.” CJ’s all-to ‘innocent’ grin told Hannah that she did not, in fact, knock.

The younger girl scowled. “That's not funny and you know it! Only I'm allowed to make jokes about my hearing and eyesight! Daddy said so!”

“You can’t prove that I really didn’t knock! Because I did!”

Hannah tried to kick her. “Go away.”

“But I’m boooooooooored, Cradle Snatcher!” CJ promptly laid herself over Hannah, who swiped at her.

“And I'm working! Geeet off!”

“Working on what, a coloring book?” CJ snarked, decidedly not getting off.

“On a flier, assbeast! Now GET off or I'll kick you in the crotch!”

CJ snorted, but rolled off of her sister anyway. “That only works on boys, dingus!”

Hannah promptly kicked her in the crotch to prove just how wrong she was.

“OW! Why you little–” CJ grabbed Hannah’s hand and bit it.

Hannah yanked on her hair in retaliation and bit her cheek hard.

CJ yelped and tried to smack Hannah, but her eyes caught the flier she’d been working on, and was instantly distracted. “What’s a ‘isle representative?’”

The brunette shoved her off of her and sat up, breathless. “My… new… job.. title! That I made myself!”

CJ wrinkled her nose. “What do you do?”

“I'm gonna make and enforce contracts between vks and vks, villains and villains, and henchmen and henchmen and so on. Mediate and negotiate. Oh and provide some ser-vices! Like… like a boss!”

CJ just blinked at her. “That's boring. You're boring.”

“I'm not boring, you're just stupid.”

“You’re stupider.” CJ stuck out her tongue.

“... My name is betterer than yours!”

“It is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too—”

#descendants #disney descendants #melissa de la cruz #disney #descendants au #wicked world #disney descendants au #the marvelous misadventures of hannah hoo and co #the marvelous misadventures of hannah hook #etc

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secondgenerationnerd · 1 year ago

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Just a cute magicfam idea for Father’s Day

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John really meant to sleep in his bed last night. Honest, he did. But Zee had gotten back from her show the same time he got done translating a scroll. A night cap lead to another….and another…until they made their way upstairs. Now sunlight creeps up the sheets. Zatanna shifts beside him, the smell of her honey body wash keeping him frozen. How long can they stay here until—

“Daddy?” A little hand pokes at his face. “Daddy, wake up.”

“Hmmm…” Through bleary eyes, John makes out the sweet face of Zachary Zatara, their six-year-old son. Running a hand over Zachary’s dark curls, John murmurs, “What are ye doing up so early, mate?”

“It’s Father’s Day.” Zachary says, accent matching John’s. Behind him, John hears Zatanna stirring. “I have a present for you.”

“C’mere,” John lifts Zachary up, putting him between himself and Zatanna. The Sorceress Supreme smiles when she sees their son in his rumpled jammies.

“Good morning, Tesoro.” She teases, kissing his temple.

“Mummy, did Daddy forget it’s Father’s day again?”

“Oi, that was one time,” John reminds him, playfully nudging his son’s head. “Besides, Little Zee, I told ye. I don’t need anything.”

“Uncle Jason says you need lots of things. Like a kick to the pants and a stay in the loony bin.”

John snorts at that, propping himself on the pillows, “Uncle Jason is a twat waffle.”

“John, don’t teach him that!” But she’s laughing too, sitting up. Rubbing her fingers through Zachary’s hair, “Do you have something for Daddy?”

Zachary pulls a drawing from under his sleep shirt. Holding it out to his father, he beams at John, “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!”

John takes the paper from his son and grins. He recognizes the three people in the middle—himself, Zatanna, and Zachary. Around them are all sorts of protection wards and runes, the same ones Zachary watches them write out. Zachary moves closer, pointing to something in the background.

“That’s Zoe, my griffin.” He tells his parents matter-of-factly.

“Uh huh,” Zatanna nods, mischief in her eyes, “I remember us letting Zoe go back to her mommy.”

“I still think I should have one. Much more fun than a dog or cat.”

His parents laugh at that, earning a scowl from him. If they ever questioned who’s he is, these moments always solidify it for him.

“Ask us again when yer, I dunno, 17.” John shakes him head, setting the picture to the side.

“Do you like it, Daddy?” The curiosity in Zachary’s eyes nearly suffocates John. Because there’s no fear or apprehension mixed in. Zachary doesn’t fear him the way John once feared Thomas. A simple smile puts any of his son’s worry at ease.

“It’s perfect, mate.” Pulling his son to his chest, John relaxes against the pillows. Soaking in the rightness of this moment. “I love ye, Zachary. Ye know that, right?”

“I know. You tell me all the time.” Zachary doesn’t move away from his embrace. Just rests his head against his father’s chest.

“Oh? Then tell me, smartass, how much do I love ye?”

“You and Mummy would burn the world to keep me warm.” Zachary says simply. Like he’s always known it to be true. Which, to be fair, it is. Zatanna smiles and curls up against John’s side, an arm around Zachary.

“How much do you love Daddy?” She asks, tracing patterns on John’s arm. For a moment, it’s quiet while Zachary thinks. Then his words make John tear up.

“Too much and more. Like Daddy deserves.”

#zatana zatara #john constantine #johnzee #zachary zatara #magicfam

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ryuatewater · 7 months ago

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Pov: me and Zee @zee-thezebra

creds to Mummy Joe for Kid Vampire

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youremyheaven · 6 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/751936453778505728/also-im-indian-too-and-its-so-wild-to-me-that-i?source=share

The way I literally waited for naagin 1st is embarrassing but tbh after 8th I only watched mahabharat because I was introduced to vampire diaries in 7th but my mummy saw a kissing scene so I had to go sometimes months without watching anything english 😭😭

MAKSKKSKEKKEJE

I used to watch absolutely everything. I would watch Grey's Anatomy, Monk & Castle on Star World, then watch Qubool Hai on Zee TV, random 80s Hindi movies on those other channels, go to Channel V to watch some "trendy" wala show (Suvreen Guggal, anyone? DIL DOSTI DANCE??) I was obsessed with Ninja Hattori and Doraemon also 😭 and everything Disney had to offer

Did anybody watch Sunaina on POGO??? that show went soooo hard, they need to bring it back tbh 😤

I loveddd old school teen dramas like Shararat, Karishma Ka Karishma, Kya Mast Hai Life etc 😭😭

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lalazeewrites · 2 years ago

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RETURN OF TAG GAMES

i know i have been gone for what in fandom time is 'forever', so thank you a million for tagging me @celestialmickey @heymrspatel @tanktopgallavich @vintagelacerosette @energievie @stocious @metalheadmickey @gallagher-milkovich

name: lala/larisa

age: 35 but i’m permanently stuck at 25 in my head, i always forget

where in the world are you? 📍 an hour north of chicago, near the wisconsin border

the meaning behind your URL: very self explanatory, i’m not creative with names hehe. but lalazee is my nickname and zee is because my last name is a z name. again, not creative lol

your second favorite color: pink!

any pets? one cat with the personality of a soft bunny & another cat with the personality of a surly dragon

favorite season: autumn!

last thing you read: ‘the only good indians’ by stephen graham jones

last song you listened to: ‘so much (for) stardust’ by fob is playing as i type! i am a true blue lifelong feral fan from ‘take this to your grave (2003) album fan onwards. i’ve already listened to this album so much that my almost ten year old knows most of the words to most of the songs lol

what are you wearing right now? grinning skeleton holding up a coffee cup w a smiley face on it that says ‘STAYIN’ ALIVE’ & pink shorts

a hobby of yours: writing! singing! hiking! camping! cooking! all things horror!

your comfort show or movie: i feel like your comfort movies & shows might not be your all time favs, but more like movies & shows that are easy on your brain to absorb when you’re skull is feeling soupy. as a true 90’s kid, i gravitate for comfort toward those big box office action or disaster films like jurassic park, twister, independence day, the mummy (and 2), men in black, jumanji, matrix, anaconda, etc. . . i have a thing for big monsters & big battles, so also count pacific rim as one of my favorite movies ever too haha

and finally, what are you up to today? it’s spring break! but my spinal surgery blah blah is still healing so i’m relaxing at home while my mom takes my kid to the arcade and candy shop! they’ve been gone four hours, so i can only assume they’ve had a good time lol

FANDOM EDITION

your first fandom(s): First fandom on the INTERNET would have been Star Trek XI. First media that i was unhinged about: X-Files, X-Men, Xena, Sailor Moon (apparently I couldn’t find another X related interest LOL)

your current fandom(s): My Hero Academia, Shameless, Stranger Things, Attack on Titan. . .I actively read for about 5 other fandoms other than those (Supernatural, Witcher, FMA, LOTR, Star Trek), but I’m currently actively writing in these.

how did you first get into fandom? Back when I was living in Glasgow, Scotland, it was my 21st birthday, and my friends and I were going to see a horror movie. Turned out, the tickets were sold out, so we decided to see Star Trek XI. I’d NEVER watched Trek in my life, didn’t know a thing about it, and when I walked out of that theater I was a totally changed human and now I am a Trek Encyclopedia LOL

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? Since 2009, so like 14 years.

how often do you read fanfics? Every day, if my brain is healthy enough that day! I sometimes take breaks of a couple months and only read published books though, I feel I get a different experience from both that I can equally appreciate.

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Mickey Milkovich, Bakugou Katsuki, Billy Hargrove. Angry disaster babies, I guess.

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? I’ve written 167 fics, not including those on my Patreon. So, over 170 fics, at least.

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? No! Funny that I got accepted on scholarship to NIU for Theater & Art, partially on my art portfolio, but I never create any art for anything!

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: Ian loves his mom more than he feels comfortable saying, because he feels like it's a family and even personal betrayal. I think it’s impossible to accurately describe how to feels to grow up with an abusive parent who vacillates wildly between adoring and abusive, but there’s no feeling quite like loving and hating your parent, desperately wishing you could be what they wanted so they’d stay, and hoping you never see them again. I know we’ve seen Ian follow Monica more than any other kids, but I think that any time he curses her out to his siblings or whoever else, each bad word is also like a self-cut.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) If for My Hero Academia, I would have them watch the Heroes Rising movie, for Shameless I don’t even KNOW where I’d begin tbh LOL

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? Fandom is family! I’ve been in fandom for fourteen years, and I have so so so many real life friends who have been with me through literally the hardest parts of my life. My divorce, my ex husband going to prison, the birth of my child, me being a single parent, moving back to America, my coma, my kidney transplant. My fandom friends from across the world have uplifted me and been my support system through every single high and low. I don’t know how I’d be here without them, quite literally.

#tag game #about me #thanks for not forgetting me guys #sorry for my wall of text

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ladyzee-oddityhunter · 1 year ago

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Streams, Halloween 2023 Special: "Meet Orion the Dusknoir Man"

[Stream Beginning Soon…]

Lady Zee’s seasonal lobby splash screen features a noivern wrapped up in bandages like a mummy, and a sensu style oricorio draped in cloth like a ghost on the left and right sides of the text. At the top, a sliggoo is depicted wearing a pumpkin costume.

When the countdown ends and the lobby screen swipes away, Lady Zee appears. She’s dressed in a stylish noivern costume that shows off her toned midriff and shoulders. A noivern-eared headband sits atop her pink hair that’s been pulled mostly back over her shoulder.

She’s seated on a plush couch behind a coffee table laden with assorted Halloween treats and a punch bowl. Smoke swishes around her ankles and across the floor. Beside her is a man with silver hair dressed in ghostly folds of cloth. There’s a pink pokemon resting on his lap, a hybrid between an absol and an audino named Strawberry, it seems.

The chat is immediately exploding with sparkling oricorio emotes, excited greetings, and warnings and expressions of terror at the sight of the person she’s sitting with. Variations of “She’s really doing it!” splatter across the conversations.

Zee does not outwardly acknowledge this unusual combination of energies. She’s donned her perfect smile, and she sweeps her right hand out to the side. Instead of her signature gold cape, she flashes the teal underside of her noivern wing.

“HeLLO my lovely skiddo kiddos! You’re here with me, Lady Zee! Happy Halloween my darlings! Today we have a very, VERY special guest, but before we get into the good stuff, I have something to share!”

She stands up, and the camera moves back to keep her fully in frame. In a fluid, rhythmic motion, she swings her hips and sweeps her hand toward the ceiling, moving in just the right way that her hair and wing cape catch the light and sparkle.

“How do you like my costume? It’s adorable, right? And it’s SO comfy. I bet you’d never guess it’s actually athletic wear. Yes, that’s exactly right, my darlings! My fitness in fashion line VitaminZ has just stocked limited time noivern, zubat, and swoobat athletic attire. Can’t decide if you want to splurge on a cute and cozy costume for one holiday, OR get that new workout set you’ve been needing? You don’t have to choose anymore! I’m wearing this to the gym later myself.”

She poses again, balancing on tip toe and bending one knee while she makes a heart with her hands.

“The toughest choice will be which ones to get, but make up your mind quickly! They’ll only be available for a limited time!. To place your order, visit VitaminZ.com and use the code ZEE10 for ten percent off your first order! That’s VitaminZ.com, and ZEE10!”

She twirls, letting her pink hair swoosh playfully over her shoulder just before she sits back down and crosses her legs at the knees.

“Now, I’m sure a lot of you know…”

She pauses dramatically to grin at him.

“Orion? Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

Orion cocks his head to the side ever so slightly, pupils dilating then contracting again as his gaze trains on her during her sponsorship speech. If one is observant enough, they'll notice he's watching her not unlike a predator does. Not unlike something about to pounce.

And yet he stays seated on the couch. Even as his fingers dig into a spot hidden by the table.

He blinks as she directs the attention back to him, grinning and causing the pressure in the room to dissipate very suddenly.

He waves before going to fill his cup with some punch before introducing himself.

"Hello, hello! As Zee has already started, my name is Orion, and I am a fellow streamer as well! You can find me under the Horror tab on Twitch where I stream body horror."

The chat erupts at that as a few of his own fans decide to explain what exactly he does, which as expected gets them banned. He laughs at that.

"Settle, settle. I'm the guest on her stream, remember."

He then takes a sip and directs his attention to Zee.

"Now, you wanted to ask me some questions?”

Zee claps her hands once, her red fingered gloves muffling what would have been a sharp sound.

“I can see we have some BIG fans of Orion’s work in the chat! Do play nice, my darlings,” She chirps, strangely cheerful in relation to who she’s sitting beside and the comments that keep arising in the chat.

She turns to Orion, meeting his eyes. Her own golden brown eyes are hollow. Vacant of feeling. They merely sparkle just the right way to suit her bleached smile like a pretty doll in a box.

“So Orion, you sweet thing, you told me you’re part dusknoir. That is *incredible*. And very unheard of! How did that occur? Were you born that way?”

"Well, actually, that's quite a long story in itself!” He replies good naturedly, “The short of it, however, is that I was dying, and one of my dear friends had to splice me with a Dusknoir to keep me alive! How odd is that?"

He laughs some, as if he himself can’t even believe that happened.

“Oh! Well, that’s a few things to unpack,” Zee exclaims, her smile ever bright and unfaltering, “Let’s start with… Hm, how does one splice a person with a pokemon? And why a dusknoir?”

She holds her index fingers up by the sides of her head, beside her noivern ear headband.

“Why not a purrloin? You could have been a cute purple kitty boy.” Her practiced smile widens, and she giggles prettily.

She tilts her head just the right way to look cutest from the camera’s angle, and she does her best impression of a purrloin’s purr.

Orion looks thoughtful for a moment, as if this is something new for him to consider. He then nods, seeming to agree with her.

"Why, I would make an amazing catboy~"

He grins, curling all six of his hands in front of himself in an imitation of cat paws.

"Nya~"

He laughs, shaking his head before dropping his hands.

"Ah, alas it wasn't meant to be. As for how to splice someone with a pokemon...well, I can't be giving away all the juicy secrets in just one stream, now can I?

"As for why Dusknoir...well, I already had my shroud of Duskull, so why shouldn't I pick something to match?"

There’s a pause as he seems to carefully consider Zee.

"What would you pick, if you really had to? Remember! Hypothetically. Would it be a Noivern?"

He teases her, gesturing to her costume. His lap pokemon seems to stiffen, tensing its muscles as if bracing for something and perking its ears toward Orion. Something in that question seems to have it on edge.

“Ohhh, so you already had the duskull? I see, you were keeping with a theme!”

Her smile never wavers, but she does fail to restrain the slight widening of her eyes as all six, SIX, of his hands move forward to pose. That is four more hands than she’d been expecting!

“Which pokemon would I splice myself with?” She asks, sliding easily back into that flawless hostess smile. She’s quiet for a moment as she seems to think.

Fans of Orion recognize the loaded question and helpfully share the names of assorted pokemon that might be interesting to be spliced with in chat. Zee does not seem to notice, or does a good pretending not to.

“Noivern *is* wonderful, but maybe I would want to be something else for some variety. Mismagius is SO pretty. And dangerous.” She tosses her hair and winks at the stream. “Like me, right Skiddos?”

Her followers seem to adore this, walling the chat for a few long moments with comments of agreement and sparkling oricorio emotes.

“Buuut I don’t see myself wanting to be anything but myself! It’s all about that self love! And!” She gestures to Orion’s plethora of hands. “This. You didn’t tell me you have six hands! Six, no? Are you hiding more under there?” She leans to the side as if she might somehow see up Orion’s shirt from their positions on the couch.

“What’s this about?” She tilts her head, watching not his hands but his eyes. Her eyebrows lift just a little and she slightly parts her lips to model an eagerly curious expression.

He nods in agreement. "Self love is important, and there's no one I'd rather be than me after all."

He laughs at the gesturing to his hands.

"No, no I'm not hiding extra hands. This, however, is the result of a forced mega evolution. Yes, Dusknoir can mega evolve, but the process is so extreme that I don't recommend trying it at home. Or anywhere else for that matter."

He spreads out his arms, being careful not to hit anything.

"But they're pretty neat, aren't they?"

He drops them then grabs a brownie with a spiderweb pattern on it. The spiderweb seems to be made of marshmallows.

"Feel free to help yourself to the punch and snacks, by the way, I promise it's not poison."

Her smile never falters, but she raises one of her own two hands to politely decline. “I’m not hungry, but I appreciate the thought.”

“I’m going a bit off script,” She continues, “But I have to ask. Does that mean you’re constantly mega evolved? Is that healthy? Even full pokemon don’t *stay* mega evolved after battle.”

"Oh, I am indeed constantly mega evolved. The energy that courses through me is quite painful as well. Again, I would not recommend this method."

He shrugs.

"I have my reasons for this, though, so I'm not bothered by my current state."

“Ohh, that sounds horrible,” Zee moans with syrupy condolence, “You poor thing.”

“So why do it then if it’s so painful?” She asks, leaning in slightly. “Are you stuck that way? Or do you just not know how to switch back? Was it even on purpose?”

"Because I want to protect what I care about."

Short, simple, to the point. No more elaboration than what's necessary. But there is something in his eyes, sadness? Anger? Pain? The slightest glimmers of all three can be seen.

His hands curl slightly, digging into the couch.

"When someone you care about gets slaughtered like a Grumpig by someone that everyone hails as a hero, you kind of want to make sure it Never. Happens. Again."

The words come out harshly, as if he wishes he could bite with them.

"That's rather understandable, isn't it?"

It isn’t a question, but moreso a dare to disagree. Go ahead and tell him it's not, that it's insane, that it's going too far. Go ahead. Do it. He dares you.

Zee’s perfect smile fades for a moment, and her brows furrow in thought. She looks toward the couch cushions, weighing her answer carefully in her mind.

“I understand completely!” She cheers at last, throwing her hands up toward the sky and flashing the teal of her wings. “I would do anything for my best friends. Wouldn’t anyone?”

She doesn’t wait for confirmation before she continues on.

“Slaughtered, you say?” She asks with a finger pressed to her cheek, “I’d really like to unpack that, but we do have an itinerary to get through first! SO! Next question!

Does being part dusknoir mean you have to do dusknoir responsibilities like ferry souls? I assume you have some awesome dusknoir super powers to help you with that.”

Orion immediately relaxes again, shifting back into his more lax state, simply refilling his cup of punch. Back away the emotions go, the revealing of anything but amusement. The heart back in the box and the steel lid snapped shut, secured once more.

"Oh, I do have to ferry souls. I have an old Dusknoir as a boss as well. He lives in the realm of souls and hasn't left in years from what I understand. I don't even know how old he is."

He leans back against the back of the couch, sipping from the cup before adding more information.

"Did you know he's harsh on hybrids? Tells me not to let my "human shit" get in the way of doing my job. Decent guy overall though."

“Oh! That’s not very nice of him!” Zee exclaims with her mouth agape and cheeks slightly reddened, “You poor thing, I bet you do your best. And I bet that takes a lot of time and effort, he can’t just say things like that to you.”

She huffs, lips pursed, and her chest and shoulders rising and fall sharply as if she’s truly very upset on Orion’s behalf. But again, she changes expressions and moves on.

“So,” She continues with a pretty smile, “If you ferry souls, how do you know which ones you’re bringing? Do you get a list? Is it beamed into your head FROM the spirit world? And! Most importantly! Have you ever taken someone who wasn’t supposed to die yet?”

"Ah, I don't blame him. It's a rough job. Gotta be ready to go at any time,” He laughs as Zee jumps to his defense. "He'll either call a meeting and give you your assignments for the week, or beam it straight into your head. Dusknoir antenna are mainly for communicating with each other. With hybrids it's more tricky. It's not like I have the antenna after all."

He taps his head for emphasis.

"But yes I can take your soul out if I so desire. I can also put it back in at will."

He grins and leans forward, positioning all his hands as if he is going to reach inside Zee.

"Wanna test it out?"

He wiggles his fingers in anticipation. His pink pokemon, Strawberry, perks up, prepared to intervene if needed.

Zee abruptly leans away when Orion raises his hands toward her, her eyes going a little wide. Her own hand clamps around the chimeco doll strapped to her hip. There’s fear for the first time in her eyes. But there’s also rage in the way her eyebrows press together and her eyes narrow, as if she’s wondering how dare he? How dare he try to touch her?

When he does not in fact move any closer, she mostly relaxes and straightens back up, though her hand remains on the little doll.

There’s a long moment before she answers him. She spends it looking him over, looking at his hands, his face, his eyes, as if she can judge the honesty and safety of such an offer simply by observing him.

No, it’s a terrible idea. She absolutely should not. She should end the stream and run, in fact.

But…

“What does the audience think?” She asks, her voice chipper with no tremble of fear to be heard as she looks toward the camera. And the chat. “Should I let him steal my soul? AND put it BACK, I hope?”

She glances at Orion for confirmation. She doesn’t need to read the scrolling chat to see the mixed reactions, most of which are in favor.

He relished the reaction. The fear, the anger at his audacity. He is cracking the doll. Chipping away at her little facade. He noticed that she put her hand on the doll. Was it just for comfort? Safety? Reassurance? Or...did it contain something to ward him off? To get him away from her if he should go too far.

"I won't do it unless you want me to, but it would make for a unique experience. I will put your soul back, of course. We can't do the stream without you, now can we?"

Zee is quiet for a long, long moment as she looks Orion up and down. Her smile never wavers, but her spine stiffens. Then she looks toward the chat, seeming to tally the comments in favor versus the comments against.

“Well, I think our lovely audience knows what they want. And I’m just TOO curious to pass up the opportunity!”

She smiles brightly and makes a heart shape in front of her chest with her hands.

“Steal away, Mister Dusknoir.”

At the last possible moment, second thoughts ghost across her face as she suddenly opens her mouth, beginning to form the word “wait”. Too late.

Orion lunges forward in a second, a spectral hand slamming into her body roughly enough to jar it before pulling out, holding up her soul for the audience to see. Holding it like a trophy. Strawberry bristles in his lap, watching him carefully.

Zee’s vacant body slumps against the back of the couch, her noivern ear headband tumbling to the floor.

"And this is what a soul looks like! Interesting, isn't it?” Orion exclaims gleefully, “I expected Zee's soul to be bright pink, in all honesty! Wouldn't that have been interesting?"

The chat is going nuts, some praising and some concerned. After all, what is he going to do with her soul, with her body slumped on the couch?

He raises his shirt some, the maw on his torso opening up wide.

"Now, I'm gonna give Zee the experience of being held inside my body. She'll be able to remember this all once I put it back, but I'm giving her a few moments away. Like a mini vacation, you know?"

He laughs as he looks at the chat again, and he places Zee’s soul inside himself. The maw closes.

"Alright. There we go. Just a few moments and then she'll be back, alright? Don't worry, I'm not getting rid of her! She's too lovely for that, isn't she, chat?"

He hums, drinking punch, eating a brownie, and then getting a refill. After a few moments he opens his maw back up and retrieves her soul. He pushed it back into her body, causing her to 'wake' with a start.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Zee! So, how do you feel?"

Zee gasps, spasming once before throwing herself into an upright position as she abruptly finds herself whole again. The air filling her lungs burns. The light burns. She squints against the living room lights for a moment. Another moment. Then her eyes adjust and she looks toward Orion again.

With a hand pressed hard against her chest, scrunching her top under her fingers, she stares at Orion. No mask. Just blatant shock written across her parted lips and wide, golden eyes. Then she catches herself, and she falls back into her calm, pretty smile, like a prey pokemon hiding its wounds to avoid hunting by a predator.

“Well! That was… That was something! Thank you!” She swallows, glancing at the camera from the corner of her eye before fulling turning to face it. “How about a quick break? Deedee!”

The screen switches to a “We’ll Be Right Back!” splash screen.

[When the stream resumes, Zee asks Orion a few more questions, mostly about what it’s like having another mouth in his torso and whether or not he can use ghost pokemon moves as a hybrid. She also coaxes him to strip off his shirt to provide a better view of the dusknoir mouth and six arms. Throughout the last few minutes of the stream, Zee maintains a smile, but she seems slower in her movements. Fatigued. Shadows creep up under her eyes as the minutes tick by. She flinches once when Orion turns too abruptly, her hand flying toward the oddly square and heavy looking chimeco doll on her belt.

When she finishes her questions, there’s relief in her brilliant smile as she signs off]

“Remember skiddos, mommy loves you!”

[Thanks for Watching!]

#pokemon irl #pkmn irl #zee streams #Halloween special stream!

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tpraize · 11 months ago

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BREAKING: Why Is Her Face All Over Twitter??

Mummy Zee Debbie Also called Mummy Zee, a housewife and yet to be mum (pregnant) with her husband turned millionaires in 48 hours for posting about their love life. And how their marriage has been going since they met. Getting attraction from interested and well meaning Nigerians, making them beneficiaries of over 5 million naira in cash gift plus other household items and appliances, amongst…

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#Couple #Daddy Zee #Debbie #Feminism #love #Millionaire #Mummy Zee #trending #Twitter #viral

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taiblogcomics · 2 months ago

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No Party Like a Superhero Bachelorette Party

Hey there, '80s perms. Welp, it's more Countdown, of course. Shall we just get into it~?

Here's the cover:

Okay, this is one of those fun covers. Some of the best things I can say about this series will be some of the covers. (Only some of them, though. Others stil suck.) Now, I think we've determined Mary Marvel must be at least 18 in this series, since she was released from the hospital of her own recognisance. Stargirl and Supergirl, however, are still explicitly 16, so this nameless goon is right to keep them out. Why is it a generic bouncer, though? Like, even for a bachelorette party, shouldn't they have a real superhero as security?

Here's some recap: Still chained together, Pied Piper and Trickster have tipped off the Flash regarding an attack of Green Arrow and Black Canary's wedding. Still in another dimension, Kyle Rayner has joined the Multiverse Crew regarding the search for Ray Palmer. Still dying, Karate Kid and Una are headed to find Buddy Blank regarding a cure. Still untrained, Mary Marvel is confronted by Klarion the Witchboy regarding her powers. Still useless, Jimmy Olsen is at a loss regarding his own powers. Still at a women's shelter, Holly Robinson and Harley Quinn have been named Athena's chosen regarding an upcoming training course. Still reading this series, we continue regarding it with distaste.

So we open with Mary Marvel still having her audience with Klarion the Witchboy. He just wants a tiny taste of her power, and he'll teach her how to control them. She goes to take his hand, and suddenly his fingers turn into tentacles to wrap around her. He says to his cat Teekl that he can have the body once he's done draining her. Outraged by the sudden but inevitable betrayal, Mary blasts out with her powers, knocking Klarion through a stall in the very public market they're still in, and starts following a telepathic voice she's hearing just now. Mary, you don't learn very fast, do you?

So, back at the hotel in Happy Harbor, Rhode Island--not Zatanna's mansion like I erroneously stated last issue (you gotta give me establishing shots, comic!)--Trickster and Piper are about to be attacked by a mummy guarding the door. This was actually a thing that happened when Mary Marvel was visiting Zee's manor, so you can see where I got confused. That and the aforementioned lack of establishing shots. Anyways, the Flash returns suddenly to disarm the trap, but also disarm Piper and Trickster of their tech, which he really should've done in the first place.

Flash then speeds away again, because we still have to make the plot happen, we just want to drag it out a bit. So Piper is a multi-talented bard, he doesn't need his flute, just anything that can play a tune. To that end, he gets the touch-tone phone from the hotel room and puts the mummy to sleep that way. He explains it works by inducing a delta-state in the brain, which Trickster points out that removing the brain is the first thing they do in mummification. Piper acknowledges his correctness on this, only for Trickster to undermine it by stating he learned it from an obvious porno title. All this casually discussed as they walk out of the hotel, while the mummy is very much asleep, so what is even the point of this conversation?

So over in Jimmy Olsen's segment, someone's obviously been re-watching Men in Black while scripting this issue, because they're re-creating the LTD tunnel scene, except with an unremarkable blue sedan. The car's on the roof of a tunnel, Jimmy's falling out of his seat because he didn't buckle up… The main difference is that the tunnel's otherwise empty, since they're on the way to Cadmus' secret underground base. It's very silly. Jimmy's led away by their head of genetics, who begins interrogating him about his powers, motivations, and appalling choice of costume. Glad we're still mocking him for this~

Onto the main event! I'm actually glad Black Canary's bachelorette party is a horny strip-show, because it's at least equal opportunity showing women as horny too. Despite that attitude, Canary herself is mostly just complaining that if any of this became public, they'd be done. Oracle points out that they're in the age of deepfakes and Photoshop anyway. Oh Babs, if only you knew how good you had it, compared to nowadays with us here in our never-ending AI art nightmare. Heck, the DC universe probably already has AI tools, given the advanced tech and magic rampant in their universe.

Now despite what the cover might show you, youngsters like Supergirl and Wonder Girl are being allowed in, so the show must not be too risque. They are being denied alcohol, though, to their frustration. Wonder Woman is weirdly scandalised by this whole display, calling it "sexist objectification", when I'm sure ancient Greece had way more scandalous stuff. Besides, Wondy being prudish just seems a little off. You strut around in a star-spangled bathing suit, loosen up a bit! Still, she is right to take those pomegranate margaritas away from them, bleurgh.

So while the party is going, the mummy wakes up and bursts into the room. Big Barda declares that now it's a party and jumps into the fray, with Lady Blackhawk also joining in. Since it's her mummy, Zatanna eventually undoes the spell keeping him intact. In the confusion, Piper and Trickster sneak through the room, make off with someone's keys, and exit again. And since the dancers were male, Trickster makes another homophobic remark, as is his main character trait in this story. And to conclude their subplot, Supergirl and Wonder Girl also manage to steal drinks in the confusion, only to discover alcohol is gross and throw up in the bushes. Wah-wah~

Meanwhile, with the Multiverse Crew, they finally start living up to that particular title. Through a combination of Kyle Rayner's lantern ring powers and Bob the Monitor's Monitor powers, they're finally able to pilot directly though to other universes. While they discuss their strategy, they briefly drift through Superman: Red Son (that story that's "What if Superman's rocket had landed in Communist Russia?") before instead appearing on Earth-3 ("What if the Justice League was evil?") and immediately being confronted by said evil Justice League, the Crime Syndicate.

So the comic ends by picking back up with Mary Marvel, who has followed the telepathic voice to Turkey. Like, not a short distance. The exact location is a temple to Artemis, Greek goddess of the moon, and, like, does Turkey not have its own culture of gods it could draw on? Either way, this is what we're ending on. After watching her get cast aside by Zatanna and betrayed by Klarion the Witchboy, Eclipso has decided it's finally time to involve herself in Mary Marvel's education in the magical arts. She's even starting on the clichéd "We're a lot alike, you and I" speech. Mary, get out of there!

Once again, kind of a fun issue. What is that, two in a row? God, Countdown, you keep that up and someone might be tricked into thinking you're actually worth reading. I think what helps this issue is that the focus scenes on the bachelorette party are actually a focus. It sticks with the plot for a long part of the issue without cutting to other scenes, and features characters we enjoy and some actually good jokes. Of course, it ends on a really bad one--Trickster is so homophobic that he can't even stand seeing a male dancer? Boy, this sure isn't going to be a grating, recurring part of his character! Once again, it can't have even been that raunchy if they were letting minors like Supergirl and Wonder Girl in (despite being replaced with Stargirl on the cover--maybe the JSA said no~?).

#comics #reviews #Countdown #Countdown to Final Crisis #Taiblog

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