#Much worse than the gender goblin

[incognito-dumb]

I will need to rebuild my homepage again, because otherwise I will keep being reminded of my past actions when I was taken over by the media obsession gobli

[ten-shi-fandoms]

Cute things they do Blue Lock Addition pt 2:

___________________

Cw: Characters x Reader, Gender neutral Reader, mentions of love bites (Ryusei), kissing, showing Reader off (Ryusei), just pure fluff

Characters: Ryusei Shidou, Sae Itoshi

______________________________________

Sae Itoshi ⚽😮‍💨:

In all honesty Sae isn't cute-

Like this man is hot, cool, sexy, and all that but he isn't cute.

Even so he has some cute things he does

Things like dancing with you whenever theres music playing, swaying you around the kitchen even though he only did it to get something, leaning closer to you as you speak are just some of them.

And he does them almost everytime he sees you.

Since Sae is a pro football(soccer) player he isn't home often so he makes it up when he's there.

He'll even be extra nice if he's been gone longer than he expected too.

He'll hold you so gently that it makes you fall asleep, but right before your eyes close you can sometimes can just barely make out the small smile on his face as he watches you drift off.

But if he isn't there expect gifts, and lots of calls.

The gifts are full of everything.

Things from expensive jewelry all the way to the two feet plushie you saw that one time you got them.

Calls with Sae are sweet too.

He always makes sure to ask how your day was along with other questions before he even talks about himself to you.

He also will tap small messages in morse code on a surface if he's in public and doesn't feel like listening to people question who he's talking to.

Though there is one thing that is the cutest thing with him.

It's his kisses.

Sae isn't really a vocal person, so he makes up for it in other things.

The only way to really see Sae's inner thoughts are through his kisses.

His kisses are bold almost fiery, yet passionate and loving.

His kisses always leave you in a state of shock, but you get brought out of it quickly when you see a gentle smile gracing his lips at your reaction.

If you point it out he will stop smiling and tell you to call a uber home-

___________________________________________

Ryusei Shidou ⚽😈:

This goblin is on demon time-

He will rarely do anything cute, romantic, sweet, etc.

He is the definition of a gremlin and its so much worse when your dating him.

To him your his property so he can do what he wants with you which ends up in lots of fights both verbal and physical (he tries to pull his punches when you fist fight unless you really piss him off)

The only cute thing goblin will ever do with you is sleep.

Thats it.

Nothing else.

No sweet kisses, no soft hugs, no prasie, nothing just sleep.

Okay all jokes aside- he doesn't do many cute things with you.

Sure you play fight, have sweet banter, and play pranks on each other (his worse than yours- like dog food for breakfast-) but they aren't cute.

When you play fight he aims to make you laugh or scold him there isn't anything cute about it (except his cheeky little smile), when you have banter he swings on you out of fun or gives you noogies, the pranks are usually downright gross on his part.

But when your sleeping its different.

Ryusei is a loud person, but when you sleep he tries to stay as silent as possible.

He loves being close to you and having your sleeping body close to his makes him admire you.

He'll run his fingers in your hair, along your back, kiss your ears, gently rub the curves of your face but he only does this when your sleeping.

Sure he loves your smile and the sound of your scolding but when your sleeping he gets to admire the peaceful beauty of your features.

Everything is still and he loves it.

Sometimes he gets carried away with admiring you that he will bite you.

Yes you heard me bite you-

He does it for three reasons.

One because your so adorable when your sleeping that you looked tasty-

Two he loves biting you to watch you squirm subconsciously-

And three, he does it to make sure your real and he isn't imaging it.

That your there and in your most vulnerable state nonetheless.

It fills him with so much pride that he'll show you off.

He'll purposely rub his hands along your neck or collarbone even going so far as to pull up your shirt to your stomach to show off the marks he left on your skin.

Its a sign of ownership and its a sign that you belong to him (bonus points if you bite him to because now its shows the world your each others).

He can't help it.

I mean how else is the world supposed to see his beloved?

[dullgecko]

I’ve been thinking more about goblin culture after my latest ask and what major differences a horde would have when interacting with spyre culture, so here they are;

Nudity is definitely not a major taboo in goblin culture and neither are female breasts, like no one’s going to just strut around naked but it can can hot in the caves during summer so if either gender just decides to go shirtless and just wear some short pants no one’s going to bat an eye.

Or if certain injuries or tasks mean wearing clothes is just going to get in the way then of course the simplest solution is just going to take of whatever article of clothing is needed.

Also set meal times would probably also be a weird concept to goblins, like goblins eat when they’re either hungry or food is available.

And while yes grabbing a small snack and sitting with others on occasion is done for the most part food is consumed as quickly as possible so you can carry on with other stuff. The idea of everyone sitting down THREE times a day all at an agreed time by everyone to slowly consume food is just bizarre to them.

Physical contact and body language is almost as much as a part of goblin language as verbal is so when talking to non goblins I imagine goblins having to constantly remind themselves not to punctuate whatever their saying with an a quick hug/grapple or soft bite and that the variation of different ear poses mean little to them etc. xx

Goblins, as a species, are more on the 'critter' end of the spectrum when it comes to their physiology. They look superficially humanoid but they're not /human/ (human encompassing any species that can cross breed and create viable young without weird magic schenanigans ie orc, human, elves etc). There's no reason why they would have the same biological set-up as those species. External genitals would be a detriment when you're scrambling through tight tunnels so they're evolved to keep them 'tucked away' until it's time to party so to speak. It's not even that weird of a set up (dragonborn are the same but they're reptillian) but it's surprising because goblins look like they're just small green humanoids and theyre mammals.

At first glance it means that males and females are basically identical when nude (females only developing breasts while pregnant or rearing young) so why would wandering around naked even be an issue. Everyone looks the same theres nothing to hide. Clothes are more for comfort or personal style than anything else. Plus, even if you're born one way you can easily get one of your hordes clerics to swap you to the other sex. Most goblins go through a phase where they switch back and forth until they usually settle on their favorite around puberty.

Changing your physical sex can alter things like the stripes along your back or tail and face markings (stripes will darken on males and get wider with irregular edges for camoflage) but thats as far as they get with sexual dimorphism, most races dont look hard enough to clock that it may have changed and its usually hidden under clothing so if one of the goblins they're aquainted with suddenly changed sex they wouldnt know unless told. Face shape is more of a genetic thing than a sexuality thing and goblin kids might take after one parent more than the other but it has nothing to do with whether they're male or female.

‐-------------

Riz grew up in Elmville so he's used to the people around him needing to eat at specific times because thats just what these people do. He initially tried to match his mealtimes with them but he ended up making himself ill from eating too much when he's not hungry (it would be similar to a human eating a huge breakfast, then an equally huge brunch, THEN an equally huge lunch all within the span of a couple hours).

He finds it easier to just put off eating for as long as possible even if he's absoloutly starving JUST so he can sit and share food with his friends. It made his coffee habit worse though because he'll sometimes skip a meal even if he's ravenous so he can eat with his friends later; having more coffee than usual because its something that temporarily fills his stomach and supresses his appetite.

Once his party find out they gently let him know that they wont be offended if he doesnt /actually/ eat a whole meal with them. Its mostly about the act of sitting and sharing something together, so Riz will often just have a drink or a small snack to chew on inbetween his large meal days.

------------------------

Be careful when speaking common young goblin. The tall-men races will start a fight over the silliest things. Imagine attacking someone because they told a joke (teeth bared and ears alert with amusement) or getting hurt because you let them know you love them (a bite on the forearm not even hard enough to draw much blood). Make sure you are also careful when showing your emotions, because being upset or anxious will often make them believe you are priming to attack even though you politely expressed your desire to be left alone.

[bogkeep]

look i just need to write a big venty post about petty problems it's fine

i COULD write this in a private journal but in the interest of saving my wrists im just gonna yell at my public blog aggretsuko style!!!!! like i'm. a little worried that i'm extra angry and irritated at everything since i started on T, but i also feel like i'm just currently wading through a curse of a thousand cuts and i'm just reaching maximum capacity okay. like these are all small petty things, nothing is going to ruin my life, people experience far worse things all the time everywhere i'm just so SICK of trying to do so much and ending up wasting my time and money and energy all the time constantly!!!!!!!!!!!

i already complained about how much stress having legally moved to sweden has caused me and how i can't get my travels to the evil gender clinic reimbursed and a bunch of other annoying problems, and how i had to do so many stupid annoying phone calls - phone calls are FINE but they're only available within very specific working hours and it's so fucking annoying if you're at school or work and like!!!!!!!! i need to take time off to make a private phone call!!!!!!!!! and then all the times i had to follow up on goddamn fucking gender clinic just to get ANY help with the thing they PROMISED ME, and just today i sent them ANOTHER message just to make sure that thing is GOING ANYWHERE AT ALL............. and then calling my phone provider AGAIN and being told to send them ANOTHER EMAIL!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST I SENT THEM AN EMAIL (because that's what they told me to do when i called them the first time). I GOT TOLD TO CALL THEM!!!! FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WON'T YOU LET ME OUT OF THE TORMENT NEXUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm almost out of mobile data and i can't top up on it because ONLY THE OWNER OF THE SUBSCRIPTION CAN DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW WHO THE OWNER IS???? MY DEADNAME!!!!!!!! IT'S ME EXCEPT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

and do you know why i'm almost out of data!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because the room i'm staying in has such garbage wifi connectivity i need to turn off the wifi to do anything on my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like the shitty tall bed is a no-wifi zone!!!!!!!!! i can't believe this is happening. i haven't run out of mobile data in YEARS like what the FUCK is going on. what kind of data drain goblin is drinking all the internets in my phone!!!! and YES i checked the data spending stats and it makes no sense WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. im hoping that if my email to the phone provider is sad wet and pathetic enough they'll gift me some free data for being sent back and forth like a goddamn ping pong ball.

do you know who i want to give a call though. the norwegian post. if their phone queue wasn't like 23583249843298 people i would like to ask them very kindly WHY THE FUCK DID THEY BILL ME 80 FUCKING KRONER FOR SENDING A POST CARD. IT WAS 3 PITIFUL GRAMS OVER THE STAMP LIMIT. LIKE I KNOW I'M TECHNICALLY IN THE WRONG BUT IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE I FORGOT THAT NORWAY HAS A LOWER LIMIT THAN SWEDEN AND I JUST. AUGUHGHHG I WANTED TO SEND MY FRIENDS A **POST CARD** AND A CUTE STICKER!!!!!!!! but i decided on not calling them because i don't want to spend 1.5 hours waiting to speak to someone just to complain about a fine that was earned even if unfair. but then. AND THEN. the holy grail of spiteful petty frustrations.

i decided to purchase an Item. but in the attempt of not getting a thing tied to Bad Monopoly Corporation i purchased a different thing from Another Bad Monopoly Corporation. WHICH WAS MY FIRST MISTAKE. NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!!! then the Item is sent to the post office super far away and it's such a hassle getting there and it kinda sucked but okay. normal day for me i guess! but then it turns out the Item doesn't even WORK because it's FUCKING REGION LOCKED. AND IT WASN'T GONNA DO THE THING I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DO ANYWAY. BECAUSE BAD MONOPOLY CORPORATION HAS A MONOPOLY ON THE FUNCTION I DESIRED!! HAHA!! OKAY COOL fine i get to return the item and get my money back right??? right. right!!!! so when i finally have access to a printer i print out all the custom slips and return slips and just all the things!!!! okay!!!!!! and i send it off!!!!!! okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN IT GETS RETURNED TO ME!!!! BUT TO SWEDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE I WAS STUPID AND WROTE MY SWEDISH ADDRESS AS THE RETURN ADDRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY RETURNED IT BECAUSE THE CUSTOMS SLIP WAS WRONG?????? was it because i put it on the back of the envelope??? the post office people said it was fine :(((((( post office people stop getting me in trouble 2k24!!!!!!!!!!! i intended to call the post customer service about it because im so tired of everything being a money drain and i want to know why they did this and im just so frustrated with everything going fucking wrong but. what do i even say. i don't think i have it in me to wait in an hour long queue when i can only call during the hours i'm at my watchmaker placement :(((((( the strength has left my body and i'd like to cry instead thanks

anyway i contact customer service for Bad Monopoly Corporation like hey i sent it off but it got returned and im out of town can you pretty pretty please extend the return deadline. but because Bad Monopoly Corporation probably only gives their customer service workers negative two seconds to read emails they didn't even respond to my email they were like "follow these steps to return your item :)" three times before they actually replied to me and told me they can't extend the deadline. fucking fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i get my landlord to do it!!!!!!!!!!! VERY COOL NOT HUMILIATING AT ALL. HOPEFULLY IT GOES THROUGH THIS TIME OR IM GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A MILLION BILLION PIECES FOREVER

also i purchased a can of sparkling water at a bar the other day and it cost 60 kroner :((((((((((((( that's like 6 americadollars. i think that's evil actually

[inimitablereel]

2023 Fic+Vid recs

A variety of things I liked this year, made this year. Once again, this got long, so fic recs and fandom-specific recs for dmbj are below the cut. But first a few miscellaneous vids

[vid] Cockroach Motherfuckers by eruthros, thingswithwings multifandom Immortal queer characters multi-vid! This is exactly as much fun and hopeful as it sounds. I've seen maybe 2 of the sources so you know, you don't have to have seen them all.

(We) Didn't Just Come Here to Dance [Fanvid] by FairestCat fandom: Newsies I haven't actually seen newsies, but I really liked this vid. Taking the (very dramatic) musical theater dancing and putting it to a Carly Rae Jepsen song works SUPER well, visually very fun time. Also, unions!

[Vid] Oceanographer's Choice by absternr fandom: Heroes (cdrama 2022) Bai Choufei, Su Mengzhen, and Lei Chun's fucked up relationship(s)/falling apart bad times. This vid is deeply upsetting, just a real exploration of sometimes caring a lot about each other makes everything worse. For maximum sad times, this goes well with absternr's other heroes vid, hey, I just met you, which is the meet-cutes that led to this whole mess.

[AMV] The Draw by Lovely Goblin fandom: Revolutionary Girl Utena Black Rose Arc! I've watched this vid so many times really good weird and creepy black rose arc vibes really good parallels between all the different duelists

Also blanket rec that if you've seen Everything Everywhere All at Once, consider looking for vids for it. There's a bunch on ao3 (which can be easier to navigate than youtube, though there are definitely more total vids on youtube) and they're pretty much all spectacular? I was going to include one or two in this rec post and couldn't decide

The wild phonemes of 40 Eridani Keid by astronicht Fandom: Star Trek (aos/tos mashup canon) relationship: Spirk ~10k words rated E You know if you'd told me a year ago I'd be reccing a spirk fic in 2023 I would have been a bit surprised. This is not particularly my fandom wheelhouse. But you know, they're always good, and this fic is really great. This is almost an episode-fic except that nothing really happens plot-wise. But instead of a plot we get a lot of musing about geology and diplomacy and clever references to current events as history in that very trek kind of way and Spock being bitchy just for fun.

fuori dal mondo by bladedweaponsandswishycoats fandom: Qi Ye relationship: Beiyuan/Wu Xi, Beiyuan/Zhou Zishu (more plot than ship focused) ~60k words rated E This is a retelling of Qi Ye except Beiyuan is... some kind of eldritch horror, part-time. It pretty much goes beat for beat through canon (which I appreciate, I loved that book and do not like any of the current tls enough to reread) but with the added layer of whatever is going on with this eldritch thing, which is very cool and tied into canon so don't let me spoil it for you.

We're Leaving Our Shadows Behind Us by lady_ragnell fandom: Tortall - Protector of the Small relationship: Kel/Neal/Yuki ~70k words rated T Canon retelling of Squire and Lady Knight but from Neal's POV. This fic really digs into Neal as a character and the details of the worldbuilding of Tortall, especially the chamber of the ordeal. Also somewhere along the way it sold me on this ship, which I wasn't exactly rooting for when I read the books the first time.

The Untamed/MDZS

a harmony between qin and se by Alaceron relationship: Wangxian ~60k words rated E This is a gender-bent (to make it a het romance) no magic historical drama au where Wei Wuxian is a woman who's arranged to marry Lan Wangji. Honestly this is pretty far from the untamed, especially in terms of themes, though some plot elements will be familiar, but mostly it's just a really great compellingly written historical drama, that happens to have main characters with some familiar characteristics.

Like a Game of Chess by countingcr0ws relationship: Wangxian ~40k words rated T Modern au: influencer Wei Wuxian runs into Lan Wangji on a trip to Taiwan and they travel around together. I love all the little details of their trip - it's like getting to see a new place without going anywhere. Also sometimes I forget that wangxian are very cute? They're a good ship brant

The Epic Highs and Lows of High School Zine Production by el_em_en_oh_pee relationship: Jin Ling & Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling & the mdzs juniors ~7k words rated G Modern au: High schooler Jin Ling has big feelings about a lot of things, including zines, gender, and family. One of those juniors-centric fics that makes me say oh they are Teens huh.

DMBJ

A Little Hole in the Wall by MountainRose gen, Liu Sang centric ~8k words rated G Honestly I would rec this fic even to people who know nothing about tomb shows. One thing that really draws me to a book is descriptions of food (I have read multiple food memoirs this year), and this restaurant au has AMAZING food (and food prep) in it. Not too plotty, mostly just descriptions of delicious things and characterization via cooking.

green with an attitude by ilgaksu relationship: heihua ~8k words rated T If you are in the English language dmbj fandom and you care at all about heihua you probably have already checked out ilgaksu's fic, which has basically defined heihua for the English language fandom. My favorite heihua moments are when other people show up and give you that foil to realize how weird they are, and this fic has that both via Xiuxiu and Wu Xie. Also, a fic about dancing!

making anything last, keeping anything safe by A (mumblemutter) relationship: Wu Xie/Xiao Bai (background pingxie) ~8k words rated M Post canon Xiao Bai takes Wu Xie to explore a tomb that should be perfectly safe... (They set off a sex pollen trap.) I don't particularly ship this, but this fic was extremely well done and kind of sold me on the ship. Fun tomb, really fun characterization for everyone involved.

A World Made Over, Fresh and New by Thimblerig gen, iron triangle, Wu Xie & Li Cu ~1k words rated G If you've ever gotten specific dmbj fic recs from me, it's probably included something by Thimblerig, they're amazing at pulling in very specific canon snippets in under 5k words and I'd generally recommend going through their work by tags if you're looking for fic with underloved side characters or fic set during a part of canon that isn't UN or post-canon, which are generally easier to find. That said, this particular fic is in fact the fandom staple of post-reboot let's go look at a tomb and pulling in a big ensemble cast including some reboot folks. But it's a staple because it's a good vibe, and this is a really well done sliver of friendship and relationship building and perhaps even a tomb trap?

[Vid] Still Into You by absternr iron triangle ot3 This vid is a bop! Multi-tomb show iron triangle being in love, through the years! I've got this bookmark tagged as "joyful"

[vid] When He Died by teyla Wu Sanxing-centric This vid really leans into the weird tomb nonsense and conspiracies and builds to something quite odd, meant in the best possible way. A concentrated version of what tomb shows want to be at their best, from a horror/strange spooky things perspective. Mind the tags.

[Vid] Before I Do by absternr Xiuxiu character study A vid all about Xiuxiu being a badass - she's so clever and cunning and she will figure out and surpass her family history.

[rigaudon]

whining under the cut. may make people uncomfy, idk. i’m just speaking about my personal feelings and my personal experiences. zero relevance to how other people choose to feel/identify.

ever since i cut my hair, more and more people are defaulting to calling me “they”, and it’s... making me so self conscious. much, much, more so than when people used to mistake me for a guy. Because when that happened, nine out of ten times it was someone being mean and intentionally trying to hurt my feelings. But this is something people do out of courtesy. To not offend me. to not assume. And yet it hurts so much worse than people making fun of me. Because, what I hear is, “you’re not what a woman looks like, and I don’t know what to think about you and I don’t want to guess and guess wrong so I’m just going to treat you neutrally.”

and it makes me feel so fucking shitty. because this is not an appearance I’m cultivating. this is not an identity I’m choosing to portray. this is just me. This is how I have always been and how I’ve always looked. I like to wear comfy oversized sweaters. I don’t wear makeup because it makes my face feel gross. I’m as tall as most men and my chest is flat enough to land an airplane on. and I’ve always been fine with that. because it’s literally a non-factor in my identity.

and yet, I’ve never been more insecure about my physical appearance than I have been these last four months. The only thing that’s different is the length of my hair, but it’s noticeable how much more people are uncomfortable/unsure around me. It makes me second guess how I’m perceived every time I look in the mirror and am reminded that I’m an ambiguous, amorphous, question mark that people can’t figure out. and it feels so... othering? Because people think that this is a deliberate choice on my part.

This part of myself has always been stable and never in question, even though I’ve never conformed to gender stereotypes. Even when I was bullied for it as a kid, it didn’t make me want to change myself. And now it feels like that confidence and indifference is being taken away for the sake of other people’s comfort. but i’m not making a statement. I don’t want to make a commentary on my gender. I don’t want to put across that I’m open to discussing personal shit like that with random strangers.

But it feels like we’re still rigidly enforcing gender roles. Only now, what used to be, “You should act more like a girl”, has turned into, “You don’t act enough like a girl.” Rather than being reassured that it’s okay to not fit that neat little list of traits and interests that people expect from “girl”, now if you don’t fit that perfect definition, you must not be a girl at all. It’s just a rebranding of the same misogyny it’s always been.

And I, personally (i am only speaking about myself in literally this whole thing) would rather have people mockingly call me masculine because of my strong facial features and flat chest, than have this sanitized reminder that I don’t look enough like a woman that I become this undefinable thing. For just... being the same person I’ve been for the last 30 years.

:’) so. plz don’t call me “they”. idc how you refer to me otherwise you can call me “hey you” or “trash goblin” but please, please, never they/them. also plz don’t come yell at me this isn’t an invitation to have a debate this is just me venting to myself on my own blog

[rivendell-poet]

Hello! It’s the same anon who asked you about the Hobbit movies :) I was wondering if you could write (no pressure! I just mostly wanted to share an idea) funny headcanons or a scenario of a female reader (could be a non-Mirkwood elf or someone from a long-lived race) who was part of Thorin’s company and meets Legolas again 60 years later when she’s with Frodo in Rivendell? Reader remembers how Legolas wasn’t too courteous to the Company and locked them up in the dungeons which made her dislike him quite a bit. And let’s just say that she wasn’t all too… thrilled upon meeting him again in LOTR and him joining the Fellowship with her ahaha. Bonus points if she remembers Legolas calling Gimli a ‘goblin mutant’ when he looked at Gloin’s locket in the Mirkwood forest xD.

Again, please take your time with this :) I understand that you have quite a few things to write, and I only want you to write whatever you feel happy writing <3

Hi anon! Sorry it took so long for your request, but hopefully this was what you meant with scenarios. If you'd prefer a oneshot please feel free to put a new request in <3 Thanks so much for the idea by the way, it was super fun to work with. And it genuinely means so much to read the last note on your request, so seriously thank you

*･༓˚✧ ❝𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧’𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲❞ ‧͙⁺˚༓˚✧ « scenarios »

Gender-neutral reader | Wordcount : 0.5k | TWs : None

✧ To be perfectly honest, you hadn’t wanted to join the Company in the first place - it was more of a collection of favours than a real desire to reclaim Erebor.

✧ Which made it so much worse when you and the Company got captured in Mirkwood.

✧ (It probably didn’t help that you’d let out a small laughed at the blond elf’s joke about Glóin’s son. In your defence it was funny.)

✧ As an elf, the guards had been cordial to you - and you’d managed to find out quite a few things about the kingdom. Such as the blond elf being Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood.

✧ He tried to visit you, once, holding the idea of having a better bed and better food over you if you gave up the information.

✧  And you may not have wanted to be in the Company, but you’d be damned if you weren’t loyal to them.

✧ So you’d simply refused to speak to him.

✧ Although all that knowing his name, and your time in Mirkwood, really did was help put a name and reasons for your grudge.

✧ A grudge that hadn’t gone anywhere, until now.

✧ Because sitting across you from you at the Council of Elrond was the same elf as the one who you’d only properly seen through bars. Not that there was recognition in his face.

✧ The matters only got worse when you realised the name of the dwarf who was joining you - Gimli.

✧ For the first leg of the Fellowship you don’t bring it up, because the quest to save Middle Earth is (sadly) more important than a simple grudge.

✧ It doesn’t mean that you can’t still be slightly petty to him however.

✧ You never do anything that could endanger him, just subtle things - like waking him up a few minutes before his watch should start, or loosening his dagger from his scabbard only enough to make him confused.

✧ Gimli eventually figures out it was you, but promise not to tell. He’s the only one aside from Gandalf who actually knows of your involvement in the Fellowship, but not of the precise comments.

✧ That’s a little bit of information you want to share on a good occasion.

✧ You decide to finally share the story a little after leaving Lothlórien, because you can tell the Fellowship needs some cheering up.

✧ And when you say it you feel completely justified in waiting this long.

✧ Because you get to watch the elf almost turn pale - as pale as an elf could go - as the realisation hit him.

✧ (The rest of the Fellowship does briefly have to deal with Legolas looking horrified while you laugh and try not to keel over.)

✧ Merry and Pippin join in the laughter as soon as you explain the joke.

✧ And it does the job in cheering the Fellowship up.

✧ Legolas takes it surprisingly well, although afterwards approaches you to apologise in private - genuinely expressing remorse for his actions.

✧ It’s unexpected but welcomed, and you thank him for it.

✧ From then on it becomes an inside joke between you all (especially you and Legolas).

✧ And, when facing what you are, even a simple joke can be one of the brightest lights for the two of you. A light both of you are grateful for.

A/N : Sorry to any readers who wished for comedy, I'm afraid I'm not great when it comes to writing this. But hopefully you enjoyed it! And, honestly, I'm very open to writing more in this universe/with this premise if people want some <3

« masterlist » thank you for reading *･༓˚✧ Taglist : @celestialhole / @starwars2222 / @xiaoseminence / @withasideofmeg / @nilintakan / @ferns-fics / @chewgazellechew / @recordofragnarokfan2 / @stormchaser819 / @raikan624 ✧ wish to be tagged?

[senatushq]

NAME. Andruil AGE & BIRTH DATE. 6000+ & Unknown GENDER & PRONOUNS. Female & She/Her SPECIES. Dark Elf OCCUPATION. Grazie a Bunch co-owner FACE CLAIM. Gemma Chan

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: murder, torture, imprisonment, war ) The last glimpse Andruil saw of Hyperborea seared itself on her eyelids as the high elf followed Titania and her mother into an exile meant for survival. She didn’t know it then, but she would see their home planet once more, without knowing the attachment that it held. But that would come later, much later. At the time, all that mattered was to follow her leader, a sword in hand. A sword that remained on her hand as her divinity was stripped from her and she was turned into a shade of who she had been, spring following her footsteps as she guarded the survivors of a genocide people would only retell amidst whispers. A noble amidst her changed kin she might be, but her place had always been that of a warrior, no matter the lifetime. For millennia, she fought for her people, a sword in her hand.

She lived and died like a warrior, her trusty sword held within her grasp as she slayed a revolting necromancer.

The being that was born from the Spring Eladrin Andruil’s death had her face and name, her kindness and desire to protect. The debate of nurture versus nature waged upon her form, a warrior trained as a killer, hiding an innate kindness that not even death could erase. She had not been born of spring as an eladrin, but she became her season with such joy that it followed her even after death. The kindness of spring, of new birth and of plenty, all hidden beneath the thorns of a rose that had been dipped in steel to kill everything but the dangerous beauty that she possessed.

Time in the Underdark runs differently, the war against Asphodel within recorded history, but the Drow Andruil’s birth taking place six thousand years before the summoning of Ayi’gi into the mortal realm.

Combat followed her in every life, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. A gifted warrior, she rose through the ranks at a speed that would have been admirable, were the militia given any consideration by the priestesses of Loth. Private, Lieutenant, Sergeant, General. She gained rank after rank, completing mission after mission with the help of Alvaro— a revenant that took the form of crystalline panther that she found by accident but kept by choice— and making a name for themselves as an unstoppable pair.

A ruthless efficient woman, Andruil completed multiple expeditions for her Queen, her loyalty unwavering, until— 

Until every soldier’s worst fear. Two thousand years before her great escape from the Underdark, she fell during battle, only to wake up in a goblin prison. Five hundred years she spent on that cell biding her time before her escape, only to find herself in a hell worse than the last. The five hundred years of imprisonment were nothing on the face of the five hundred years of torture on the hand of the mindflayers.

A thousand years of solitude for the drow warrior, only survived because of Spring’s stubborn temperament. Only survived because her last memory of her Alvaro would not be that of pain and fear and loss. 

Andruil survived against all odds, but she was forever changed by her experience. After all, there is nothing quite like suffering the worst tortures imaginable in order to regain the empathy lost to conditioning. Closer than ever to the kind eladrin she once was, she returned to the Underdark crawling and dragging herself from her own personal hell, only to see her home with clear eyes for the first time. 

There is no safety within Lloth’s eyes. There is no kindness, there is no good.

Loyal to those that held her heart, she attempted to reintegrate into the ranks, to bolster the loyalty she had held for Lloth and Ayi’gi. But she could not do so, the torture had cracked the hard shell she had built for herself and kindness bleed from it, softness wrapping her every action. Andruil saw the horrors of the Underdark, saw the truth, and attempted to point them out to those she cared about. 

It did not work.

At the end, the only choice she could live with was to run, cut a path through her former comrades and wander the caves outside the Underdark for six centuries in hopes for an escape until she reached what once was the bright and loving Hyperborea. Now a fiery inferno, one she could only get a glimpse off before being swept away into a better world, a kinder one by the hands of the same sort of witch that had once been her destruction. 

If she had done it alone, she would not have survived it. Not the loneliness, not the pain.

But from the moment she had laid hands in that crystalline panther, she had never been alone.

PERSONALITY

+ happy, protective, empathetic – evasive, stubborn, reckless

PLAYED BY ORI. EST. She/Her.

[imperator-titus]

Look, Astarion is my baby girl, my blorbo, my mud-covered goblin-eared murder-kitten-

But holy shit so much of romancing him felt embarrassing and cringey, and I knew basically the whole backstory before I did (cause I romanced Karlach first.) Neil did an A+ job acting as Astarion but I couldn't relate to others who found his romance endearing until the final part of his personal quest. Act 1 is definitely peak bad vibes. It feels difficult to navigate a path that sees through him but also keeps the romance. I often reloaded to try different dialogue because some choices sounded realistic but ended up feeling harsh? His vibes in Act 2 I could forgive as awkwardness.

For real though, the romance scene in Act 1 made me feel really awkward. I got the one Act 2 romance scene that people consider the worse one and it did feel weird but I've seen the other scene and it didn't feel much better?

My dumbest complaint is that a lot of his flirty lines when he greets you are so perfectly done and I am so embarrassed to hear them, I COULD NOT play the game if my partner could hear it because "hello, beautiful" made me go 😬 (that MAY be a gender thing but some of his similar lines made me feel about the same). I was pleasantly surprised when, after his personal quest and the romance scene that comes after it, I found his dialogue much more pleasant and the romance scene way less embarrassing.

I will note that I haven't finished the game with a romance, I haven't done an Ascended Astarion run (but have scene stuff from it), and I have only done Karlach and Astarion (I'd like to do others but I'm busy with grad school) so my view is probably narrower than others.

My personal considerations are that Astarion's romance is rather complex in that it's not just getting to know one another, but a lot of character development on his part. He gives you a lot of reasons not to trust him, but a lot of reasons to forgive and leave space for error. Of course, this is a game, and they didn't have infinite time and money to throw more development into it, so you have to navigate it a certain way.

Which is why I love fanfiction and fanart lol

Okay enough about him I'm sorry I've spent too much time in the dialogue files!!!

i know this guy is tumblr's babygirl but he is throwing out many red flags at the moment

[brokenspring]

Funny story

Funny story: Sorcerers raise armies of monsters and rule as tyrants over kingdoms shrouded in darkness. Sorceresses are rarely guilty of worse than a plunging neckline. Hopefully easing gender restrictions will allow sorcerers to wear plunging necklines, and not the reverse.

Funny story: Classification of magic users is badly out of date. For example, the difference between a Trickster and a Goblin King is that Tricksters travel a lot, but Goblin Queens are actual goblins. Currently three Goblin Kings are women and two men.

Funny story: The invention of t-shirts with logos revolutionized the Enchantress and Demonologist professions. Being able to take your shirt off and have an instant summoning circle anywhere made summoning so much faster and easier that Demonologists are almost extinct.

[aaronymous999]

Earth 5169’s Spiders; Aaron’s life, surprisingly would have only been made worse. He and Peter would have continued to be bullied, and Peter could have died during the Vulture’s attack on Midtown High for sure, as Spider-Man wasn’t there to save him. Harry Osborn would have been kidnapped and the Green Goblin would have revealed himself far earlier, and a war would have broke out in the streets between the Sinister Six and the Green Goblin and the Police. Mark would still be the Molten Man, and the ending of arc 1 would have still happened, the only difference being that Aaron would be even more depressed. On the other hand, Aaron’s friendship with MJ and Gwen would have been far stronger, although the death of Peter would have DEVASTATED the group. Aaron would have likely never became friends with Cindy, Miles, Glory, Sha Shan or Chat because of this. His gender dysphoria would also be far worse and if I’m being honest, Aaron would be much more shy than he is as Spider-Man, being unable to express his emotions and opinions freely as Spider-Man. Pretty sad existence, and being Spider-Man is DEFINITELY not a burden. Assuming Cindy and Miles aren’t bitten in this universe, the streets would be an absolute warzone. Cindy would have never been bitten if Aaron wasn’t, as the only reason she was bitten was because she followed Aaron and Peter in the Oscorp building. Miles on the otherhand would have died. Instead of being exposed to the last of the Spider’s venom and then being saved by Aaron and Cindy, he would have been caught by the Oscorp guards and killed. Cindy would have never became friends with Aaron and the others, and would have stayed lonely forever, drowning herself in dangerous investigations to discover the mystery behind her brother’s disappearance, without her powers to use proper stealth and protect herself. Cindy would have flunked out of school, and would have gotten a few retail jobs to keep herself afloat. She likely would have lived a sad life beyond this, and not to be harsh but she would have likely died alone in her old age.

Would include my other silly Spiders but I don’t have their stories laid out just yet!

Real quick, more simple less questions tag game here- more of the 10 questions style will come later. But I’m genuinely curious here-

What would your Spider-Sona’s life look like if they had never been given their powers?

( Tagging mutuals and people who asked to be tagged! But anyone can join! Feel free to tag more people as well: @sp1derw1re @chessbox @spidey-bie @rintari @fun-k-board @spidercrusadersworld @autisticarach @thesevenofhearts @brown-spider If you asked to be tagged and aren’t here let me know in the replies or reblogs! )

[serahlink]

Knight in Orc Armor // F!Orc x FtM!Reader

Summary : After being harassed by some transphobic goblins, an unexpected hero swoops in to save the day.

Word Count : 2,675

TW : transphobia (including slurs and misgendering)

The weaved basket filled to the brim with fresh fruit and various vegetables weighed down in your arms. The market you were leaving behind was always a lively sight to say the least. Goblins, humans and orcs alike ran about, hashing out meats and services to one another. It was the one thing you liked about being in a close knit village. People were brought together in a way. That same gesture wasn’t given or taken by just everyone though. Being one of the only humans in the village usually warranted you relentless bullying and if that wasn’t enough, the fact that you are a trans man was a thing that some people didn’t take kindly of.

Being trans has always been a journey for you, you’ve seen and faced countless discrimination and rejection. While it never ceased being an unrelenting pain, you’ve learned to let things like that roll off of you. You built yourself out of cold stone and you were proud of that. So when you spotted two mischievous goblins in your periphery, you were ready to ignore them and be on with your day. Then their squeaky voices began to taunt you.

“Why, if it isn’t ol’ (Deadname).” One cackled out on your left, easily keeping up with your patient steps. The question was an innocent one enough if you completely disregarded respect of your gender and how menacing their intent was. “Still an errand girl for your parents, are ya?”

The other one chimed in. “That’s how girls are, y'know? Maidens who don’t stray far from home~.”

Their voices didn’t fail to make you nauseous. Their raspy strained tones felt like daggers on glass and the urge to wring out their scrawny little necks only intensified. As if their transphobic taunts weren’t enough, one suddenly jumped in front of your way. Your once unfazed gaze was now bothered and stared daggers down at the creature, who wore a look you could only describe as sadistic.

“You’re no fun at all.” The goblin opposing your side pouted, yet held the same expression as the other one.

With papery hands folded over each other mischievously, the goblin blocking your path grinned a gross smile, baring his yellowing blocky teeth. His knobby hand outstretched to the food kept relatively safe in the basket and you caught a determined glint in his bulging eye. “Now, why don’t you be a good village girl and hand over a fruit or two.”

“Like hell.” You bit back, hugging the basket protectively close. Your response only brought an inquisitive look back from him.

“Really?” The goblin feigned shock, his curling smirk on his lips. “I wouldn’t take that a hero’s daughter would get that kind of attitude.”

“Son.” You corrected firmly, biting back the harshness in that statement. “Hero’s son.”

Just then, the small creature slowly made his way to you until you nearly fell backwards on yourself. He then swiftly hopped up on the basket and dug his chipped nails under your collar, bringing you in a distance that’s too close for comfort. “You will never be a hero’s son. All you are is a pathetic excuse for a daughter, you hear?” With each venom in his statement, he inched closer to where you could feel the musk of his breath. It was nearly suffocating.

Nothing was more suffocating than the heat from your building anger. You could tolerate most things, but slandering you under your own father’s name is something you would not ignore. With one shakingingly angry hand, you slammed down the goblin to the dusty floor and didn’t hesitate to get in its face.

“Listen here, you ugly fiend. You have some nerve to put anyone’s name in your mouth, let alone bring my fathers profession into this.” You spat. “You will not tell me what I will or won’t amount to because of my father going off and making himself a hero, you got that!”

Surprisingly to you, the goblin actually had a bit of fear in his eyes and you pulled up, a smirk on your face. “I think you need to get out of here.”

The goblin under you scrambled to its feet and ran past you, back into the direction of the village market. You then looked to the goblin, who was looking in a direction that wasn’t you. It’s wide eyes fixed on something tall that towered above you both and it was merely then that you realized a heavy shadow was covering your own. Whatever scared the goblins clearly wasn’t you but something much bigger.

Behind you, a muscled arm that appeared to have the bicep the size of your face reached past to pick up the sneaky small being, who yelped as the towering being picked it up. Immediately, you knew what kind of creature this was. An orc. If it wasn’t by the animal skins and steel armor you picked up on that told you it was an orc, it’s size sure did.

Slowly, you turned around. Your expectations told you that you’d be face to face with a savage beast who would rip out the spine of the goblin right in front of you, as if to send a message. You thought this was where you had to be prepared to fight all the fear pulsing through your veins and slay this monster but all that subsided like a cool storm when you saw her.

Instead of meeting a snarling beast, you found a beauty in its place. The toned body of a female orc was plated by armor and draped with various skins, a bow resting behind her back. The strap of it hugged around her torso.. Angular features were broad and tense under dark hair that shaped her face. Her concentrated features glared down at the stammering goblin she held tensely under her strong grip.

All the goblin could spit out was excuses and frankly, the female orc wasn’t buying it. “Tell it to my bow,” She snarled, “or get out of here.”

She only gave a flick of her wrist at most yet the goblin ate dirt at the velocity he was thrown. Quickly, he was on his feet and sped back into the village without sparing a word.

In the sudden quiet, you could hear the quick beating of your heart rattling in your rib cage. It only occurred to you just then that she saved you. This random orc was literally your hero.

Suddenly, before you could even think, you were enveloped in strong arms and being swaddled by the orc bridal style. Her eyes looked everywhere, examining you as if to check for any marks or bruising. You flinched a little, hands scrambling to cling onto anything as to not fall; that very place being her chest and neck. “-! Uh, excuse me!”

Under you, the woven basket fell to the ground with some spare fruit catching dirt ground. “Dammit.” You cursed under your breath.

She looked down at you curiously, her eyes being all you could see.

“Can you, yknow, put me down?” You cleared your throat, fighting back your raging heart beat and flush in your cheeks.

“Oh. Oh! I’m sorry,” To your surprise, she was sheepishly apologetic. “It’s just, you humans are so fragile so I just wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.”

Fragile? Since when were humans treated as a baby species?

Essentially, she let you down and joined you as you began to assist you in picking up the fallen goods.

“Thank you.”

The orc peered up when you spoke and you found yourself stammering slightly. “But you really didn’t have to do that.” You sheepishly rubbed the back of your neck, picking up the basket once more.

She grinned. “What for? They were giving you trouble and I couldn’t let them do that. It’s common courtesy. Besides, I don’t really like goblins anyway. Pests are all they are.”

She had a bit of an accent, you noticed, but you couldn’t place what kind. Her own was pretty thick but it was easy to make out what she was saying.

“How long were you standing there?” You asked.

It was her turn to become all sheepish. She shrugged, a soft frown began to befall her face. “Long enough to see most of it.”

You weren’t sure why, but something about that frown sort of made you feel guilty. After all, it was enough to be discriminated against. You didn’t want to be pitied.

Then, you cleared your throat. “Right, well, I guess I’ll be going now.”

She stopped you before you could go, practically snabbed the basket out of your reach by its handle. Just as you went to curse her, her cheeky smile stopped you. “Let me carry this for you. You’ve gone through enough trouble today, besides, I’m heading this way anyhow.”

In a way you did curse her. In your head, your voice mumbled curse after curse of her smile and how persuasive it was. Even worse, she acted all innocent, as if she had no clue that a dumb grin like that could make you fall to your knees. Either way, you couldn’t refuse her and against all odds you were walking home with an orc by your side.

“So, tell me about yourself.” The orc suddenly said and she was smiling when you looked up at her.

“Why don’t you tell me about you instead?” You offered. “I mean, you’re the one who swooped in and all. I don’t even know your name.”

“Oh, that’s right. I never introduced myself, did I?” She laughed. “I’m Snatha.”

When she looked at you expectantly, you reluctantly introduced yourself. Snatha looked surprised, yet immensely intrigued. “That’s a nice name.” Her eyes lingered you for a minute longer. “You look a lot like him, your father, I mean.”

Her compliment nearly caused you to stop in your tracks to take it in. You’ve never heard something so heartfelt directed to you before. All your life you shaped yourself to be just like your father and it all usually fell on the hushed ears of people who ridiculed you constantly. Yet this one orc who barely knew you spoke of you as if she believed in you. It meant more to you than any transphobic comments ever did.

By the time you two made it back to your quaint village home, it was getting to be the peak of the afternoon and before you knew it, it was time to part with Snatha. You peered over at the orc herself who gently brought the basket from her shoulder to the ground. “Your house looks empty.” She commented.

“Yeah,” You mumbled. “It’s been just me for a while.”

The orc gave a sympathetic frown, realizing what your silence meant. Before she could give a word of comfort, you walked over and gestured to her to come near, close to your height. She obliged and when she was close enough, you granted her a soft kiss on the cheek. You pulled back and she looked back at you, face flushed and eyes wide; baffled.

“Thank you, for everything.” You smile. You would’ve gone and left straight for your house but instead, you took Snatha by the hand gently. “Actually..would you want to join me for dinner? It’d be nice to have someone to share a meal with.”

Her eyes drifted to your hand that softly squeezed hers and back to your hopeful face, a face she couldn’t have resisted even if she really wanted to. Snatha chuckled, “Of course.”

Instead of bringing the tall orc inside like you would’ve done any other sudden visitor, the two of you took to the back of your village hut where steamed meat was the main course tonight. The fire was blazing, crackling with each lick of flame. It was beautiful, you noticed, the way the light of the fire incandescently lit her features. Even if she was practically shoveling the food down her throat, you found it very endearing.

She only left a cleanly picked bone on her plate, leaning back with a hand over her stomach which was without a doubt full. “I haven’t had a meal like that in ages.” Snatha let out a full groan, smiling contently.

Just as you suspected, she must’ve been off either adventuring or maybe in the war before hand, perhaps both but you didn’t think to ask. Instead, you chuckled. “Really? Well, if you’d like, you can always come by here and get one. I’ll just have to remember to get more meat this time around.”

Snatha looked like she really liked the sound of that. Red glowed under her cheeks and while you told yourself it was because of the fire, some part of you suspected that it was more than that. “I’ll just have to take you up on your offer then, but don’t complain once I get stuck to you.” She teased.

You quirked a grin, then chuckled. “What makes you think I will?”

You could only smirk more and laugh as that red color you saw grew brighter and brighter and all she could do is sputter, struggling with what to say to you unexpectedly teasing her back.

After that, the conversation headed in the next direction. Next thing you knew, you were hearing Snatha’s war stories, stories she claimed to be from her own father which you learned died in a war years ago when she was merely a child. Across from you, she was animated on that log of hers as she practically reenacted the stories like it were theater. She was basking in the bravery and bravado of her warrior father, and it only immersed you in. It was easy to imagine the tall brooding orc dawned in warrior clothing atop a stone ledge, blood hungry eyes narrowed before leaping into battle, throwing no caution into the wind.

It was just like how you saw your father.

Slowly the warm hues of the afternoon were replaced by the cool blues and purples of sunset. It surprised you to realize you’ve spent the whole day with this orc and that’s when it disappointed you to realize it was now ending so soon. The two of you stood at the end of the trail where Snatha would depart from you. Before she did, she paused to say something.

Her eyes averted your gaze and she smiled, arm sheepishly rubbing her neck. “Before we say our farewells, I wanted to thank you for a great dinner. It’s one of the best ones I’ve had.”

“Same here.” You agree, also smiling.

Before she could turn to fully walk away, she paused and turned back to you. She looked a little reluctant and sounded a bit nervous. “By the way..I was wondering that, if you aren’t busy, if we could..I don’t know, go out somewhere sometime?” Although nervous, she indeed looked hopeful.

Her proposal surprised you a little. You knew the two of you took to each other well but to have her also feel the same way was surprising but also, you were relieved. Of course you’d love to spend more time with her. With a soft smile, you nodded. “Of course.”

Snatha lit up from her nervous demeanor, also relieved. “Oh! Oh– that, that’s great!” Her tone told you that she was surprised you’d even take up that offer even when you thought you made it clear you liked her. After a silent shared moment, she cleared her throat. “I suppose I will see you in the ‘morrow then, Sir (L/N).” Snatha forced a formal warrior voice that made you laugh.

“See you too, Warrior Snatha.” You gave your best impression of her back, failing at the orc accent you tried to maintain. Afterwards, you again took her by the hand and stood on your tippy toes to jump up and kiss her cheek.

“Safe travels.” You said, leaving Snatha to place a hand to the kissed spot on her cheek and smile.

“You too.”

[khadaj-ballad]

More Johnny x V ideas cuz people like the last one and I need to rant about how much I love this ship (any gender!V)

Domestic fluff with Johnny having his own body and being a dutiful loving husband (still a little shit but affectionately) making coffee and toast (I don’t think Johnny can cook) for V when they wake up about to go to work as Rogue’s go to solo/ running the afterlife.

✨JOHNNY & V’S WEDDING 👁👄👁✨

Johnny calling V while they’ve got someone in a choke hold/about to zero someone asking what they want for dinner, v relaxing and answering while clearing out some some building for a gig.

Johnny tags along on a gig and V is lazer focused on doing the job and Johnny acts out cuz he wants V to pay attention to him.

Johnny acting out in general when he wants V to give him attention and affection to the point where he’ll start being a dick/obnoxious and V will pull him into their lap and cuddle him or play with his hair or hold his hand. V’s planning a gig with Rogue and Johnny’s sitting there trying to behave and he’s shaking his leg and V not losing focus with the plan pulls Johnny into them or rubs his leg to calm him down and if Johnny could Purr he would. (Cuz Johnny is a needy cat)

Needy!Johnny

V being self conscious about fancier/sexy outfits but wants to dress up for Johnny and Johnny being blown away by how beautiful/handsome V is all the time and reassuring them that he loves that in any and everything they wear and he loves the outfit they have on and also when their dead asleep snoring and drooling all over the pillow.

Johnny and V on a date. Cute fluffy wholesome content

Johnny and V having a kid (I think they’d adopt but could be theirs too) spoiling the kid and being a happy merc family. Johnny is a surprisingly great dad and V is so proud of their family. The kid want to be a doctor pop star fortune telling superhero when they grow up and V and Johnny are super supportive. They let the kid dress them selve and regardless of the kids gender that includes tutus, tiaras, Missmatched socks, combat boots, and a cute little kid version of the samurai jacket and some aviators. Uncle Kerry and Uncle Vik and Aunty Misty and Aunty Rogue bonding with the kid.

V and Johnny can sense eachothers emotions after getting a happy ending with them in separate bodies. Johnny and Kerry are jamming and Vs going merc work singing and happy and kinda drunk because of Johnny, Johnny’s watching tv cuddling Nibbles and feel searing pain in his shoulder cuz V just got shot . Johnny looking at V and thinking I love this person more than I can breathe and V feeling the same and them crying cuz the feeling is overwhelming but so nice to know you’re loved. (Sexy time is way more fun this way👀)

I just need more domestic fluff for V x Johnny

(And more domestic fluff with n$fw content👀

Like if Johnny and V feel eachothers emotions feedback loops should be super common. And with in canon while they’re sharing a body 👀)

Post Game where V finishes the Crystal Palace heist and decides to relax for a little while feeling their body get weaker and looking for treatment plans when Rogue shows up with intel about an unknown Arasaka lab being discovered and housing Johnny AND Jackie’s bodies. Rogue V and Panam break the bodies out and V gets Johnny and Jackie back. But is still searching for a way to save their life.

Alternatively for the idea above Jackie wakes up in a tank next to someone (in another tank) that looks like Johnny Silverhand and someone else that looks like V. Jackie breaks out of the tank somehow and goes to break V out and the V body is breathing but the eyes are dead and unresponsive like no ones home. Jackie freaks out and Johnny wakes up in the tank seeing V on the ground next to some guy he doesn’t know but seems familiar and Johnny starts thrashing in the tank trying to get out to save V from whoever. Jackie thinks V’s dead or something worse has happen and instead goes to get Johnny out of the tank. Johnny starts trying to beat Jackie up but 1) Johnny hasn’t had a body in over 50 years so he’s like a new born calf wobbling around and 2) the twunk body is no match for big hunky Jackie. So Johnny starts cussing and scratching yelling “what the fuck’d you do to V!” And Jackie’s like “you know V? They’re not responding idk what happen.” The last think Jackie remembers is giving V the chip and Johnny now more customed to his new body sees that the big guy who was kneeling over V is Jackie and they work together to break out with V’s body/clone and Johnny gets Jackie to drive them to the Afterlife after zeroing a bunch of mysterious and creepy scientist and the go to rogue and Johnny explains to rogue what happen. Jackie is confused as to how a Johnny Silverhand clone knows V and goes along with it. Meanwhile real Vs getting worse and is in the hospital dying and rogue and Vik call saying they have a solution. V gets a new body and is in a recover coma (goes into surgery before she can find out that Johnny and Jackie are alive) and Johnny and Jackie navigate being jealous of the other being best friends with V. Jackie thinking he’s been replace by a legend and Johnny thinking V will choose Jackie over him cuz Jackie is Vs original friend and nicer. Misty and Rogue get them to get their head out of there asses and tell them that V will love them both equally and Kerry’s like Jackie is Vs BEST friend Johnny is Vs BOYfriend. V wakes up in their new body to Jackie and Johnny bonding over different ways to protect their little goblin friend/lover and embarrassing stories.

Also anyone is free to take these ideas and run with them just credit me✌🏽

[yellowmagicalgirl]

memories for when morning comes

An average afternoon and morning for Claire after ae stopped the Eternal Night.

This fic was, for the most part, written to spite an asshole on FFN who was complaining about how I use ae/aer pronouns for when I decide to specify that Claire is nonbinary in a fic, as opposed to they/them or she/her pronouns. Guess what? Ae/aer pronouns were first used in 1920, and even if they weren’t that old then one should still respect pronouns (especially for real people, though if this person is complaining about my pronoun choice for a fictional wizard I worry about how they’d treat real people who use neopronouns). (The other reasons I had for writing this were my own personal gender frustrations as well as just how it’s been a while since I wrote Claire.)

Title comes from “Welcome to Wonderland” by Anson Seabra, aka a song I found on a nonbinary pride playlist ;)

This fic isn’t Wizards compliant

Content/Spoiler Warning: Isolation, hopelessness, implied/referenced self harm, and introspection on misgendering and death

AO3

FFN

Claire wrapped aer arms around aerself and winced as even through the fabric ae could feel just how frozen aer hands were. That was the problem with having small, thin fingers. Aer circulation was pretty bad in aer hands. Sometimes, when aer nail polish was chipped, Claire’s could see how the natural color of aer nails changed to a pastel blue-violet tone, as opposed to the healthy pink that aer nails were supposed to be.

Speaking of supposed to be, where was Jim? He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. Claire fought the urge to check aer phone again. He would be here any minute now, and if he had gotten caught up in some sort of trollhunting business, he wouldn’t be able to tell aer at the time. But, ae was tempted to go find a bench and pull out aer homework. That way, ae could at least do something useful instead of just waste aer energy shivering and feeling anxious.

Ae shouldn’t be so anxious. They had saved the world years ago, and aside from the occasional goblin nest or gnome uprising there hadn’t been any problems. Jim had retrieved the stone that allowed him to walk in the daylight, and had found out that he didn’t have to actually change as much about his diet as he had planned. It was small things, like coating his salad in dressing and eating his steak rare. The supernatural world was at peace. Morgana was dead and would never be able to hurt anyone ever again. But, sadly, Claire had been diagnosed with anxiety long before ae had learned the truth about the creatures that lurked in the shadows. Ae sighed before walking over to the nearest bench. It was warm underneath the late January sunbeam. Ae pulled out aer phone, but ae didn’t check the time. Ae placed an earbud in each of aer ears, reaching up at the same time to run one of aer hands through the fade of aer hair before reaching the curly faux hawk at the top and curling aer fingers into it. Perhaps it couldn’t be considered a proper fade, not anymore, not when Claire had decided to let it grow out for the winter months so the chill wouldn’t permeate so directly into aer skull.

Claire let aerself become pulled into the loud rock music blasting from their earbuds as ae pulled out a textbook from aer backpack and began to read. Ae didn’t notice anyone approach aer until a blue, four-fingered hand stopped aer from turning the page.

“Oh,” Claire said, pulling out aer earbuds. Aer boyfriend stood in front of aer, one hand behind his back. “There you are.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Jim said. “Mom was trying to cook and, well, it was going well until the kitchen towel started catching fire. But, I have something to make up for it!” He thrust his arm out from behind his back, revealing the bouquet of violets.

“Jim, I, thank you,” Claire said, tracing the softness of the flowers.

He smiled down at aer. “Of course, anything for my handsome Juliet.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have a vase or anything, would you?”

Jim scratched the base of his horns sheepishly and opened his mouth, probably to say that no, he hadn’t planned that far ahead for their date.

And ae woke up.

All of Claire’s dreams were bad dreams. Some of them were memories, and they happened more often if Claire fell asleep in front of the haunted TV that showed all of the times that ae had been scared. Some of them were an amalgamation of horrible things that ae had heard about and things that Morgana had done or intended to do to her victims.

The worst type of dream, though, was neither of those two. No, the worst type of dream wasn’t bad when it was happening. It was a wonderful, beautiful, pleasant escape from the horrible reality that Claire had doomed aerself to. Ae would wake up in the Shadow Realm and know that Jim was dead and everyone assumed that Claire was dead as well. That their beloved friend had died to save the world. Or worse, their beloved daughter or sister.

Claire had died before ae had come out to anyone except for Enrique. It was after Jim had rescued aer brother from the Darklands, but before Morgana had taken a hold on Claire’s body and mind. Well, a stronger hold than Claire merely just using the Shadow Staff.

Ae had been alone, and ae had started talking to him. Practicing how ae’d come out to aer friends and family and boyfriend, even though ae hadn’t been ready. Enrique was the only one who knew who Claire really was, and he was a baby. He wouldn’t understand, and he wouldn’t remember Claire talking to him, and he would grow up hearing about the sister he once had who never actually existed in the way everyone thought Claire had.

(There was a possibility that there was one other person who knew the truth about Claire, but ae didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how the woman who called Claire Child instead of Daughter might be doing so as a sign of some horrible mimicry of respect. Really, Claire would have rather have had aer bodily and spiritual autonomy respected and be misgendered than for Morgana to respect that Claire wasn’t a girl but then turn around and treat aer like ae wasn’t a person, just a weapon.)

Enrique wouldn’t remember his older sibling’s monologues about aer gender frustration. Perhaps it was for the best. Claire hadn’t been meaning to actually tell aer brother, or else ae would have gone to NotEnrique instead, because out of the two brothers ae had the changeling was the one who actually knew more than ten words. It was just easier to talk to a listening ear than aer stuffed animals or a mirror (and that was before mirrors were a reminder of aer trauma). It had been practice for something terrifying that Claire would never have to do. Never get to do. Hadn’t been ready to do. Ae had never gotten around to deciding upon a more specific label than nonbinary. Between the dread that came with the possibility of someone finding aer trying to do research, and all of aer responsibilities, ae had never really had the time. And of course, ae knew that their were plenty of people who didn’t want a more specific label, but ae wanted one. Ae wanted a more specific label, if only so ae could list out all the reasons and point to something that explained that Claire wasn’t the only one. And instead, ae had waited too long and no one would know.

The trolls would have probably reacted well, since trollish gender was rather different than human gender. Jim and Toby probably would have been okay with aer as well, since they had reacted well to aer being bi and they were respectively bi and pan themselves.

Mary and Darci? Back in middle school, Darci had followed Claire to a few GSA meetings but as far as Claire knew she was there as an ally. And while Claire had seen the way that Mary sometimes looked at Shannon, Mary had never done anything else to indicate that she was anything other than straight and cis.

Aer parents? Claire knew that they loved aer. Besides, they wouldn’t have thrown aer out, if only because Ophelia was a politician on the left end of the political spectrum. But, aer family was Catholic, and ae wasn’t even out to them as bisexual, and that was at least something they might believe aer on. Aer dad might even be more relaxed if Claire had a (cis) girlfriend than with any boy ae could date, trollhunter or otherwise. And if aer dad was on aer side, then maybe he could convince aer mom to accept that their child was bisexual. Maybe, considering just how many arguments Claire had had with aer mom about how Claire couldn’t be her perfect daughter. How could Claire possibly convince aer parents that ae wasn’t their daughter at all? Granted, there was the possibility that they’d be to ecstatic to care about the gender binary when Claire escaped -

No. Ae was never going to escape the Shadow Realm.

Ae slipped out of bed, undoing one of aer long white braids. It had always had the tendency to get horrifically tangled, and that was before aer magic made it so aer hair moved in an otherwise imaginary hurricane. It would tangle enough to make aer cry. Braids were easier. Braids, or short enough hair that Claire wouldn’t have to worry about it tangling, but ae didn’t trust aerself with blades so close to aer own skin.

Ae had mastered walking around aer house as silently as possible. Perhaps ae had become a shadow of aerself here. Silent, and trying not to cause a stir, not to draw attention to aerself.

Claire gazed out aer window to the dark landscape of the Shadow Realm. Morgana was out there.

Or, maybe, ae had become more of aerself here. The shadows obeyed aer will, after all. So had the Shadow Staff. Aer will, and not Morgana’s. It had been so surprisingly easy to steal away the scepter of the Eldritch Queen. Perhaps it had been seeking a monarch as shadowy as itself.

Ae hadn’t had the time for researching and trying to find the perfect label to describe their gender. Now, ae had nothing but time to think and solitude to not worry about someone walking in on aer research. Now, ae had no access to anything that could give aer answers. Ae had tried, but there wasn’t a WiFi connection in the Shadow Realm. Ae couldn’t look anything up online, and it wasn’t like there were any books in the Nuñez household to help aer find the perfect word to describe aer gender.

And yet, Claire felt that ae could call their gender a shadowy void and ae would be incredibly accurate.

A/N: Is Jim actually dead in this? Probably not; Claire is probably just making an assumption because the last time ae saw aer boyfriend he had just jumped in the way of a magical blast that had been meant to take out Claire and aer friends.

[megaraptormenace]

That made a lot of sense to me - so much I wrote an extremely long response about it. I get the feeing you don’t agree with your gf much either, so it’s under the cut if you feel like reading it.

I can see where your gf is coming from - the words we use for ourselves do have an effect on us. When my depression was worse than it is now, I used to call myself ‘stupid’ a lot. My therapist at the time banned me from using it. And my mental health did get better (largely from medication and change of circumstance, but not beating myself up so much definitely helped). And yes, now I cringe when people call themselves that. And I might even be a little uncomfortable if I saw people reclaiming it.

So yes, I understand the impulse.

That said, I think words like ‘creature’ and ‘beast’ are different. They’re highly context dependant - “You are a creature” can be taken in a few different ways where “You are stupid” simply can’t. There are of course, words with histories of discrimination (goblin, for example), that I personally don’t feel amazing about, but the world is wider than just me (the goblincore tag is very popular).

And on gender, though I imagine you know this I feel like I should say it anyway, it doesn’t exist. It’s a construct created by humans. As much as the colonial powers of the world would like ‘male’ and ‘female’ are not immutable categories. You don’t even have to leave the human species to discover cultures that have had genders other than those two. (And when you do leave homo sapiens, things only get more wild, haha). People (and creatures ;>) with xenogenders and neopronouns absolutely aren’t the first ever to step outside of the bounds of he, she, and they.

Lastly, I think people overestimate how much believing unrealistic things harms people. Can it? Absolutely. There are people out there who have to be very careful with that sort of thing, lest it take over their life. But does it always have to? No. And more importantly, it can help people cope with things that definitely will impact their mental health (believing I’m simply a creature trapped in human skin eases my gender dysphoria a lot, as it turns out)

a question for anyone who reads this and might have an opinion, but

what do you think about people calling themselves things like "creature", "gremlin", "cryptid", etc?

do you see it negatively? positively? neither?

does it depend on the situation?

has doing so had negative/positive affects on you and your mental state? (if you are someone who uses these terms to describe yourself)

[bornofbloodandwater]

Pros and Cons of Dating my Muse

Name: Xiomara Aurelius Athanas

Race: Siren / Greek

Sexuality: Bisexual Biromantic (but uh...well you’ll see)

-List all the Pros and Cons of a relationship with your Muse below-

XIO IS DATING YOUR MUSE BUT IT IS MY GOBLIN CHILD AND SHE LOVES NOBODY UNTIL SHE’S BASICALLY MARRIED TO THEM. DO NOT ENTER EXPECTING REALLY ENCOURAGING PROS, THIS WAS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS TO COME UP WITH GOOD REASONS TO DATE XIOMARA.

Pros

1. Thoughtful of your emotions and needs, Xiomara can be very attentive. Paying extremely close attention to what makes you shine for her. Ignoring the fact that this is because she is being her temptress self, she gets joy out of creating such wonderful highs for others. You’ll feel like you are on a pedestal being lavished by a Goddess, but are you there because she wants you? Or because she wants to revel in her power over something beautiful? (If she truly cares about you she’ll let you read what SHE needs and let you see her in true moments of joy and pain.) 

2. Xiomara is a fairly peaceful person in her downtime and very comforting to be around! If you’re permitted to be around her when she’s at home (which, her lengthier flings are) you’ll find a very serene life. Breakfast in the warming morning sun with a book in hand, trips to markets to sell what she grows in her gardens, yoga, naps, making bread and pastries, all between her adoring you, embracing you, pleasing you.

3. Extremely loyal, she’ll stand for you against anything. No stranger to slinging a cheeky quip at creeps any more than she is to tearing them apart, and she’ll do it all for you. Her loyalty extends even to more arbitrary relationships, while you’re around at least. If you have her undying loyalty even after an absence, you’re something special, she’s not forgotten you, she cares.

4. Xio wants to bring you around the world with her, take you on adventures, treat you to the best experiences life has to offer. She likes to keep those she enjoys the company of very close. So if you’ve ever wanted to see the world in all its glory for free, you’ve landed the right Murderous Sea Idiot.

5. Large breasts. That is all. (Yes I am struggling more with Pros than I am with Cons.) As a serious answer, she’s not quick to panic, she is level-headed, intuitive, discerning. If you are panicked or afraid or stressed about something she’ll come up with solutions to help with calm words and a controlled manner. It is very soothing if you find yourself in trouble fairly often or are an anxious person!

6. Xio is an unbelievably good cook and she WANTS to cook for you. There is no sense of obligation in her offering to treat you to anything you want. In fact, if she really cares about you (everything she does has a little bit of backwardness to it) she’ll make you whatever SHE wants. It is a sign that she isn’t trying to charm you, she’s not putting on the show and the flash to distract you from who she is.

7. Due to the society in which Xiomara was raised, she is extremely open-minded. She won’t be phased by any expression of gender, identity, preferences, any combination or presentation of any of those facets. You are a person to her in the end, she wants your experience, your energy, your desires. She wants to see you happy and thriving. She’s far weirder than most and loves embracing everything that makes someone just a little different. If she’s unfamiliar or wants more clarity she will ask if it is alright to ask questions and respect any answer you give her. Some mystery is certainly not the worst, in fact, she respects secrets and the unexplained. After all, she has many secrets herself. Yes, this open mind does extend to kinks 👀

(Her questions would mostly be boundary related, can’t see her being surprised or unaware of expressions of identity.)

8. This is for the dominants, because LUCKY YOU you’ve just stumbled across the subbiest creature in the universe. She is obedient, passionate, insatiable and an absolute tease. You’re also the more likely group to actually get her to enjoy your company as more than just a fling. In the end, Xio needs the control and the care, the relationship dynamics that typically come with a dominant partner.

Much like a tiger doing tricks, if she senses weakness she WILL take over or cease to follow your instruction. Power-bottom? Or situational switch? That depends quite how spectacularly you fail to take control. 

9. So, you’re a bit of a brat! Or very specifically, an over-confident man/masc who won’t shut his mouth unless she chokes him? Hope your aim was to be brought to tears being edged out of your mind because Xio’s a total soft-dom. She’s not going to give you tons of bruises or make you sleep on the floor, no, Xio is going to tell you to be good for her, keep your hands behind your back, make as much noise for her as you want while she brings you to the edge over and over. 

However, she isn’t someone who seeks a relationship in which she is in constant control. You’re less likely to have her become truly attached if you take a more subservient role outside of the bedroom.

10. Xiomara believes in soulmates. Even though I don’t write them as being real, she just believes in them. These are the possible pros of her belief. If your muse understands Xio and SEES her? Theres a high chance (seeing as they’re dating in this scenario) she’ll start to view you as The One. You have to know her for everything she is and for most people that will stop at trying to understand her cruelty, her prolonged suffering, her difficulty accepting love.

Bonus 11. So, you’re a bit of a monsterfucker ay? Even just a little bit? You can always go swimming with your hot sea-demon girlfriend, just a thought. Let her tease you endlessly about being a terrible swimmer, wrap her tail around you like a constrictor and cover you in kisses and bites. Y’know if you’re into that (we all know we are).

Cons

1. She doesn’t love you. It is nothing personal, but she needs full and complete acceptance and understanding. Usually in the form of someone who celebrates her, all of her, even her cruelty. That is quite a lot to ask of anyone; to love a monster. Something I will not diminish for her. 

2. She kills people for money. I feel like that is a Con in most cases. Coming home covered in someone’s blood, probably leaving the bathroom splattered with red, occasionally returning to you half-dead and climbing into bed in that state. One might say that could be just a little traumatising.

3. Speaking of blood. You wanna deal with non-verbal BLOODLUST Xio? Because I sure don’t. Unable to communicate with you when she storms into her home hopped up on murder-adrenaline. Terrifying and with the ever-present possibility of killing you if you’re not very close with her? Having to calm her down? Being threatened by someone who softly kisses you awake? I don’t wish that emotional whiplash on anyone.

4. She’s stubborn as all hell. If she truly wants/needs something and you try to stand in her way you are as disposable as off-meat. She is not giving up. She has a long life to live, and no intentions of wasting it pandering to the concerns and morals of others. She’ll only be told no for so long before she moves on. (Just to clarify this is not about her wanting things from your muse this is about her wanting things in life or needing to do things and your muse disliking/attempting to stop her in any way)

5.  She may have big boobs but that’s...kinda where the softness stops. Very bony, muscular, very little fat, not that much fun to cuddle unless your ideal cuddle partner is a tiny, bony, serpentine lady who screams in the night... speaking of-

6. NIGHT TERRORS. Oh yeah, enjoy that on a regular basis. Xio’s insomnia is your insomnia now! Hope you’re a heavy sleeper, but even then, occasionally being woken with a hand around your neck can’t be good for your nerves. The possible exception to this Con being the premonition-like nature of her sister’s appearances in her life, if Xio feels like she’s doing something very right (like being with you) they’ll die down. Xio can’t discern whether this is just reduced stress and having a confidant, or if her sister is watching over her and giving her insights on how to best live her life. She tends to lean toward the latter, so yet another Con for you is that she might toss you to the kerb if those nightmares get worse. Don’t you just love bonus Cons...

7. Xio can be a bit of a hypocrite. She can dish it out but she can’t take it. She will excitedly enter into volleying little quips, insults, banter, sarcasm, but as soon as she’s sat across from someone who can throw it right back she can get frustrated quite quickly. Xio knows full and well she doesn’t deal with her problems how she should, she doesn’t need to be told so.

8. Not sure if this is a Pro or a Con to be quite honest but Xiomara, and Sirens in general, are not very fertile outside of their own race. If your muse wants kids there will be considerable difficulty there. Xio doesn’t actually ever consider having children but might consider it if she had another long-lived partner. However, secret pro if your muse doesn’t want kids, I guess!

9. Xio will keep things carnal for the most part. She can be whisking you off around the world, treating you to beautiful things and making you feel comforted and cared for, but all she is able to pursue is sex. It keeps her participation in these relationships shallow. It is only in the back of her mind that she seeks love, however, she isn’t actually certain as to how that is displayed or what it means to her because she has never let someone love her.

10. Xiomara believes in soulmates. Which means if you aren’t everything you’re nothing. Something fun to toy with while she waits for the real deal. Bless you if you tell her you love her, you’ll get a flat, disinterested stare in response with maybe an “I’m sorry to hear that.” or “How unfortunate.” It is something that will end her relationship with you, especially if she knows you aren’t the one. While it is a mercy that she will not lie to you or lead you on, it is cruel that she lets people get so close to her when she is so removed.

Bonus 11. If this bitch falls in love with you you’re locked in. You’re basically married. She’s immortal and chaotic and would probably kill you if you tried to abandon her...proceed courting her with extreme caution.

Tagged by: @magioffire

I want you to know there is no pressure this took me three days to complete. ‘Tis a long one. Tagging: @derobergeist (you know who we all want to seeeee, give us the Stabby Doctor), @suresaint, @mettleborn (give me Igorrr), @sunbentsky (Oles or Villen?), @fourmarksmage