Tumgik
#Moving on from narcissism
calltoamentor · 1 year
Text
The Process of Going No Contact
What happens when your abuser first breaks no contact?
It took three weeks following formally blocking them for one of the No-Contact Relatives to realize that they had not heard from me or seen my posts in over a month and a half. We didn’t speak much, so the length of time it took is not terribly surprising. The move to making contact not even an option has been a gradual one, building up over the course of about two to three years. Responding less…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
2 notes · View notes
dailydiarynquotes · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
eclaire-went-bam · 3 months
Text
i'm annoyed at how much the left values empathy specifically. you can do good things without having empathy, empathy is not an inherently good quality, and lacking it isn't inherently bad. i hate seeing lefties dunk on someone for "having no empathy," which may or may not be true, but considering how many people preach empathy as an inherent trait of the left & "goodness" is irksome. just dunk on someone for the bad actions they have done, it's not hard.
i know it's a good look to be empathetic, but it really does feel like the end-all-be-all here.
i can still have good politics and want better for people & the world without necessary having empathy for these things. i can still be passionate about certain issues just from a factual standpoint, i can still listen to people affected by them, without necessarily feeling empathy for those most affected by them.
it's just like that one tumblr posts where a user pointed out "yes, even free healthcare to annoying ppl like those who went blind at the nft convention" ;;
i doubt many people are empathetic towards them, but we still acknowledge they should benefit. generally speaking we're trying to benefit even those opposed to us with stuff like free housing & healthcare. those are our politics & beliefs, and they don't suddenly "turn off" when you seee someone you don't like. or, they shouldn't. i can hate someone & still believe they deserve the same rights as me. i could not care if someone died, & yet still believe they should at least be able to keep themselves alive with a minimum wage job
frankly, to suddenly change your beliefs on some specific cases bcs you don't like them specifically is fickle, just like how the left is all restorative justice, until it comes to a specific person or crime that is too far, then it's "maybe we should give the state the right to execute people !"
so it does baffle me why so many people here value empathy like it's an inherent trait in the left, or that those opposed to the left are incapable of empathy & therefore evil & demonic.
empathy can ignite action in most people who have the ability to experience it. but that doesn't mean only those people are or do good, and the language the left uses is real isolating for that.
52 notes · View notes
rawbones · 1 year
Text
i just want people to talk about fandom shit with who aren't Fandom People, you get me?
#i don't believe in cringe culture so this isn't about that#Fandom People in my mind are people who do not have lives or hobbies outside of fandom#and media consumption#and it absolutely shows in everything they do#they're differing levels of disconnected from reality depending on age and circumstances but there's always like#this weird lens they filter things through that tells you the only way they can conceptualize real world issues#is through their shows of choice#and i simply cannot relate to this because i am not privileged enough to do so#to be able to move through the world like this one has to be operating with a certain number of social and economic advantages#merch costs money. tickets cost money. books cost money. subcription services cost money#(the last two only apply if you don't obtain them by other means lmao)#but honesty it gets very tiresome very quickly to talk with these kinds of people#because i would go so far as to say that they don't necessarily view people AS people so much as#npcs unless you say or do something particularly relevant to THEM at that moment#otherwise you don't really exist in their minds#in their myopic narcissism they perpetuate a lot of harm towards more marginalized people in fandom#and will never acknowledge this#because they're the main characters and the “good guy” always#and this very closely mirrors the kind of bullshit black people especially have to deal with on a daily basis#in every other context#from basically everyone#and having to repeatedly encounter that in one's downtime gets exhausting and demoralizing#so while i don't share the hate for “fandom” as a concept because i think this could be considered value-neutral#it's this type of person and this aspect of fandom that keeps me from engaging fully#in part. i could rant forever about this because there's much more to it than just this#anyway Fandom People are terrible and ruin the experience for those of us with lives send post
3 notes · View notes
star-anise · 3 months
Text
Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.
Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:
That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)
It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.
Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.
To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.
It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.
When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.
Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.
There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.
1K notes · View notes
jenomi · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
selfless
this is totally something jaemin would do… play on words from his narcissism exhibition
✧・゚: *✧*:・゚✧
"where are we going?" you ask for the millionth time. your boyfriend jaemin had told you to be ready to leave in an hour and to dress in something cute, but he wouldn't reveal anything else.
"just get in the car" he says with a hint of a smile on his face as he opens the car door for you. you side-eye him as you get into the car.
you felt antsy as jaemin drives to the secret location. you wouldn't say you're one for surprises, but jaemin has always been so good at them. you're genuinely surprised when jaemin turns the corner to his exhibition site.
"what are we doing here?" "i need to check something really quick."
you both get out of the car and jaemin holds open the door for you. you walk deeper into the building you're all too familiar with. you came with jaemin to watch his Narcissism exhibition come to life and helped him with the set up and detailing while he was abroad.
as you walk deeper into the building, you come across a different sign than the one you saw every time before.
SELFLESS my love for you is endless
you stop in your tracks as jaemin whispers, "surprise" as he kisses the side of your head.
"what's this?" you look up at your boyfriend who smiles at you as he hands you an exhibition handset. he grabs your hand as he guides you further into the new exhibition.
you gasp in shock and adoration as you see the room filled with pictures of you through jaemins eyes. there's pictures of everything, the small and big moments from your relationship.
"i- i don't know what to say. this is…amazing" you gesture towards the room as you slowly take in the room. he shyly smiles in return as he gently guides you towards the photos for a closer look.
the first photo you approach is a photo of you working on the couch with lucy, luke, and luna cuddled up against you in multiple positions.
you enter the number of the photo and press play on the exhibition handset:
all my babies in one photo. as much as i love the lululu cuddles for myself, i love that they want to cuddle with you more because that means they love you as much as i do. you are also working so hard in this photo, one of the many things i love about you. thank you for being the best mother to our babies - but please don't forget to give me cuddles too
you laugh lightly as you move on to the next. it was a photo from one of your many picnic dates next to han river. your hair is caught in the wind and you're laughing at something jaemin said as you reach for the camera.
every time i look at this picture, i fall in love with you all over again. i am the luckiest man in the world to be able to call myself your boyfriend. i love when you laugh, it brightens all my days. i'm so happy to have captured this photo of you, showing your carefree spirit and smile forever
you can hear the sincerity in jaemin's voice in the audio, making you tear up. you squeeze his hand as you walk hand-in-hand to the next photo.
it immediately makes you laugh. it's a photo from your first meeting with jisung, jeno, and donghyuck and you're trying to teach jisung how to cook. jisung is obviously stressed as the other members are laughing in the background, but you have a supportive hand on jisung's shoulder as you walk him through the recipe.
i don't know why we tried to save our helpless son jisung, but thank you for being so kind and loving towards all my members. as i watched you try to help jisung at his greatest weakness, it was the first time i realized how much i loved you and how i could never let you go. do you remember when i first told you i love you?
"yes" you answer aloud to jaemin standing next to you, "i'll never forget it"
jaemin smiles as he pulls you closer to his side, "i love you"
you walk hip to hip towards the next photo. it's a photo of you and jaemin in japan at night. you and jaemin are the only clear things in the photo as everything around you is a blur of heads and lights. you're looking at each other with eyes full of love, and a small hint of a smile on both of your lips.
this photo is exactly how i see the world with you by my side. nothing else matters, as long as you're with me and happy. this photo was hard to edit, but i'm proud of the way it turned out. it will always just be you and me, when things come between us, i'll fight through them to get back to you.
you tear up again as you wrap your arms around jaemin's waist. if you could fuse yourself to your boyfriend, you would so you would never have to leave his side.
as you look at each photo and listen to jaemins recording explaining each photo, he would just watch you. watch your eyes as you examine a photo and notice the details he worked so hard to highlight and incorporate. watch you as you listen to his heartfelt words recalling his memories with you. watch you as you smile and/or cry at each photo and word he says. you were his living, breathing exhibition that he could marvel at everyday. luckily, he does.
and with each photo you look at, your heart grows fuller and fuller with your love for jaemin. it becomes so overwhelming, that you can't help but let a few tears drop. there's so many photos, photos of you asleep peacefully in bed, more photos of you with his members doing various things, a photo of you and his mom, and more pictures of you and jaemin.
in the center of the room, there's a stand with a black cloth draped over it. jaemin told you it was the grand finale of the exhibit. you lift the cloth to find a small note in jaemin's handwriting: "for you, i become selfless"
you turn around to share your love and appreciation for jaemin, but as soon as you do, you watch him drop to one knee as he opens a small felt box.
"y/n, i love you with all my heart, it hurts. i want to love you for the rest of my life and make more memories with you and capture them with my camera. i want this to be the first exhibition of many. will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"
"yes" you exclaim quickly. you were never going to say no. you loved jaemin with your whole heart, and this exhibition and the amount of time and effort he must've put into this made you love him more. how could you not?
jaemin puts the ring on your finger (it fits perfectly because, of course, jaemin measured all your favorite rings) before picking you up and spinning you around as you laugh and cry. when he sets you down, you give him a long kiss.
the moment was perfect. you and jaemin in the middle of a room, happy and in love surrounded by photos of your love for each other. this would be an image you'd keep in your heart for the rest of your life. 🤍
(also you leave the exhibition with a photo book, similar to the merch sold at narcissism, but it’s just photos related to you and jaemin)
664 notes · View notes
youraverageaemondsimp · 3 months
Text
Ensnared in lies. // Cult Leader!Bsf!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader || MODERN AU.
Tumblr media
Summary: Returning to your old town after many years to settle down posed many difficulties, luckily your childhood best friend was willing to help you out, surely he doesn't have any ulterior motives, right?
WARNINGS: dubcon, cult, narcissism, brainwashed neighborhood, coercion, somnophilia(?), unprotected p in v sex, breeding kink, body worshipping, cunnilingus, brainwashing(?), gaslighting, manipulation, extremely gullible reader, unknowingly being involved with a cult, yandere!aemond(?), + plus not proof read, lmk if there's anymore warnings I should add.
WC: 7.3k
A/N: I finally go to finish this, it's insane how long it took. // divider creds to @cafekitsune
Tumblr media
You rolled down your window as you drove your car, allowing the breeze to hit you gently and flow through your hair, the smell of fresh air was something you weren't used to since you had lived in the city for a few years— having gotten to the pollution there, you had forgotten that air could even be this fresh.
Moving places was a hassle, especially from the city to a town, but it did not matter to you since you had told yourself that you'd come back here no matter what, after all it was your childhood town, where you grew up in.
As you drove, the town's sept came into view, and the moment you glanced at it, the sept made you feel an overwhelming amount of nostalgia, remembering how you and your childhood best friend would sneak off the Sunday preachings to play in the fields. They were fun memories.
But for an odd reason, you felt a sense of deep dread along with the feelings of nostalgia, you felt your gut wrench as you passed by it, the big seven pointed star loomed eerily, making shivers run down your spine.
You shrugged it off and stepped on the accelerator, speeding past it, the blanket of dread, which the sept engulfed you in, was lifted the moment the towns houses came into view, their architecture had developed but still remained their original structure, you felt nostalgic once again, memories springing up in your mind.
You quickly drove to the house you grew up in, parking the car in the front of it before getting out, the house had been abandoned for a few years after you and your parents had moved out of the town, it looked shabby, spider webs decorating the corners, you pulled the key out of your pocket before pushing the fence gate open and moving towards the door.
The door handle was rusted, and the key didn't fit into the hole at first, but you somehow managed to push it inside and twisted as much as you could, the noise of metal clunking against each other as you desperately tried to get it open, and by pure luck, it opened.
The door creaked open, revealing the insides of the house, it was empty, and you stepped inside — immediately coughing because of the dust particles in the air, the floor was covered in dust, abandoned spider webs clung onto the walls. You walked further inside, the sound of your boots echoing through the empty house, your feet took you to your childhood bedroom, which you opened to see if it was the same.
Of course it was, the walls were painted your favourite colour at that time, you giggled as you thought of a funny memory, when you had thrown a tantrum and asked your parents to get it painted because your best friend had his room painted too.
Ah yes, your best friend.
You wondered if he still lived here, though knowing him, he probably did. You both had kept in touch from time to time but never really went into details of your life, however he was still a main part of your life, after all, you spent most of your childhood with him, doing random stuff and messing around like kids and teenagers did.
The thought of him brought a smile to your face.
You continue to take in the sight of your bedroom, stepping inside to further examine the room, to check if it needs any cleaning, You go to the window before looking outside and then something catches your eye.
It was nothing out of the ordinary, just another spider web, weaved outside of it, unlike all the spider webs you came across in this house, it wasn't abandoned. A spider crawled on it, still seemed as if it was weaving it carefully, placing every microfiber in its place whilst moving to the centre, you watched as the silk came out of its spinnerets, awed by the process of how it made its web, with so much precision.
Just then, you spotted a butterfly making its way towards it, you furrowed your eyebrows, wondering if the butterfly knew that it was making its way towards its own trap, but you couldn't do anything except watch.
And alas, the butterfly got caught in the web, its wings sticking to the silks as it struggled to get out, ruining the web in process but the more it struggled, the more the web stuck to its wings, weighing it down further, the spider seemed to be watching ominously as the butterfly struggled, and then, it attacked.
It jumped on the butterfly, and you sighed heavily, knowing it was a lost battle for the butterfly, you had hoped it would escape but it didn't, the spider had already caught it, you watched as the butterfly eventually stopped struggling, indicating that it has met its own death.
You looked at it in horror before shaking your head and making your way out of your bedroom, mind still on the incident you had witnessed, trying to understand why it would ever willingly fly into the trap?
‘Perhaps it didn't see the trap’ is the reason you came up with, which made more sense, ‘What a naive creature’ you thought as you walked into the middle of the living room.
Just then your phone starts ringing, you smile when you read the name and immediately answer the call.
“Hello? Y/N? Is it actually true?” the voice on the other line questioned and you cheekily giggled before answering, “Yes Aemond!” You replied enthusiastically.
You had texted Aemond that you were moving back into town right before you reached.
Tumblr media
It wasn't too long before Aemond reached your house, your guess was correct, he still lived here, you waited outside by your car patiently for him, scrolling through your phone when you heard the wheels of a vehicle squeaking as it stopped, you lifted your head up to take a look.
The car door opened and a familiar figure stepped out, you couldn't control the amount of happiness you felt when you finally saw him, your best friend. He had matured quite a lot, his hair grew in length, his features became more sharper as the baby fat was lost with age, and what you found surprising was that he now seemed to have stopped wearing that eyepatch.
You remembered how insecure he was about it, he lost it in a mishap that involved his nephews and was very insecure since then, yet now he doesn't seem so insecure anymore, in fact, you took note of the sapphire placed in the empty socket of his eye.
He shut the car door and made his way to you, and you immediately pounced on him, making him stumble back a little bit as you hugged him tightly, his hands rested gently on the back of your waist and he let you hug him, “Oh gods Aemond, I missed you so much! You've changed a lot.” You exclaim to which he gives you a small smile, “You too.” He replies, alluding to the fact that you have also changed.
You pulled back and gave him a big smile.
You expected him to let go of you, but he didn't, his grip on your waist tightened and he pulled you into for another hug again, this time, he bent down to bury his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent, you didn't think much of it, and instead caressed his hair in a comforting way.
He lets go after a minute or two, before smiling at you, and then addressing the situation at hand, “You moved back here? So suddenly?” He asks you, and you nod, “It wasn't sudden, I had always said that I'd come back.” You shrugged and he nodded, then he looked behind you, spotting your house, and furrowed his brows, “You'll be staying there? That place has not been touched in years.” He questions and you turn back to look at it.
“There's nothing I can do about it, I'm gonna clean it up as much as I can and sleep on the floor until my furniture from the city arrives here, they said that it will take time, about a week or so, because my decision was last minute, I haven't booked them in advance.” You explain your situation and he raises an eyebrow, “No.” He simply asserts and you stare at him in confusion.
“I cannot allow it, how about you stay over at my place until your house is all cleaned up and ready to be moved in?” He suggests and you pout, “I don't want to be a burden to you.” You mutter.
You are taken aback when he grabs your sides and pulls you close, “You are never a burden to me, Y/N.” He tells you and you chuckle awkwardly at the weird situation but you agree nonetheless, “—Oh I forgot to tell you, my boyfriend will also be moving here.” You tell him.
“Boyfriend?” He questions, through gritted teeth, and you nod, oblivious to the emotions he's feeling, “Can he stay over too?” You ask, batting your eyelashes at him, and he swallows thickly, expression darkening before he agrees.
“Thank you Aem! But on the other hand, I guess I'll be busy for this entire week, trying to clean up the house.” You sigh, wincing at the thought of cleaning everything, and the renovations you'll have to make, which will also cost money.
“No need, I know a few people… who will be more than willing to help with it, I'd only have to ask them.” He tells you and you furrow your brows, “Wouldn't that be burderning them? Is that alright?” You question and he shakes his head, “Of course it's alright, they are obligated to.” He states and you are even more confused but Aemond quickly switches up the topic and asks you if you want to go to his house now, and you nod.
“Sure, let me lock the house up real quick.” You tell him and you go to the front door, shutting it and locking it. Of course, you struggled because the lock was bad as before but still managed to lock it.
“We can go now.” You say, getting into your car but Aemond tuts, which makes you halt, “Why bother taking two cars there? Just leave yours here, I'll drive you there.” He suggests and you were about to protest but immediately stopped the moment you realise how it wasn't a suggestion, but rather a statement.
So you agree, he's your best friend after all, someone you can blindly trust, he's extremely trustworthy.
And so, you get into the passenger seat and watch Aemond get into the driver's seat and start the engine, he steps on the accelerator, moving the car forward slowly. You stare out of the window as he turns around the corner.
Your eyes spot the same web from earlier, still the same as the spider feasts on the remains of the butterfly in its trap, a sense of dread forming in the pit of your stomach; but just then you feel Aemond place his hand on your thigh and you turn your head to him, “You're nervous.” He comments and you didn't notice but you looked down, to see your own leg bouncing up and down, so you try to stop it but you can't.
Aemond rubs up and down your thigh reassuringly, trying to provide you with comfort, you should tell him to take his hand away, cause it wasn't appropriate but you don't, because it actually made you calm down, something about his touch was strangely soothing.
So you remained quiet.
Tumblr media
You both reach his home in twenty minutes, you open the car door and step outside, taking in the view of his house, “Still the same as ever huh?” You question, the house had remained the same even after all those years, Aemond hums in response.
“Where is your family?” You enquire when you step inside, finding the house empty, with no other human presence, “They moved out, they wanted me to come too, but I refused.” He answers your question curtly and you nod in understanding.
Your phone rings with a notification and you open it to see a text from your boyfriend; ‘i’ll be there by tomorrow’ it reads and you smile widely, immediately telling Aemond about it and he gives you a tight lipped smile before rolling his eye when you face away from him.
“You can use the room located down the hallway—” He points to the door “—all essentials should be there since it is Helaena's room.”
You thank him quickly before carrying your luggage towards the room, immediately plopping onto the bed and staring at the ceiling for a while, minding rewinding through the events of today, the sept, the spider and everything, you yawned, shaking those thoughts off and drifting slowly into slumber.
Aemond stood in the living room, tapping his foot anxiously against the floor as he dialled a number, each ring making him impatient, but the call was quickly answered and Aemond breathed heavily, “Hello? Floris?” He checks for the person on the other line, “Yes sir?” She replies, “I need you to do something.” He begins to explain his predicaments.
After his call with Floris, he makes his way over to Helaena's room and checks in on you, noticing your sleeping form, you were laying on your back, his eye softens at your peaceful expression as soft snores left you, he made his way inside the room, before standing right in front of you, hand steadily raising up to caress your cheek.
His thumb brushes over your cheek, before it outlines the bridge of your nose to your lips, slowly making its way down to your chin, he shifts in his place, mind racing with many thoughts of kissing you and wondering if he should fully commit to it.
And so he does, leaning over and kissing your lips as his hand cups your breast, he stops for a moment when he hears you whine, thinking you woke up, but you didn't, you instead turn to the side, exposing more of your neck, which Aemond, in his fucked up mind, takes it as invitation to leave kisses on it.
He slowly lifts your shirt up, revealing your flesh which makes the cock in his pants begin to stir as he feels a wave of sick arousal. He pulls your shirt up further, your tits beginning to get exposed, he pulls your bra down, fully freeing them.
He licks his lip before leaning, taking one breast into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it before suckling on your nipple, his hands begin to undo his pants, quickly pushing his underwear aside and grabbing a hold of it, before stroking it up and down.
He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn't help himself, maybe you'd actually sleep with him if you're convinced enough, but he feels that your mentality isn't that easy to break, because he knew you from your childhood, you always stuck to your own beliefs and did not let anyone sway you.
He could have you under his fingertips if he tries, but you were smart.
Too smart.
You'd figure out what he was trying to do immediately.
So he needs to break you first.
Make you completely rely on him, make you feel like he is your one and only salvation, and only then can he finally achieve what he wants.
He's upset over the fact that you have a boyfriend, — a hindrance, he deems — didn't you promise to marry him after twenty five? He sighs, he was waiting for you all these years, yet when you come back, you're in a relationship? He saw you as a traitor.
However, that was far from the truth, You never really promised him anything, the pact that was made had a condition, you and Aemond would marry each other if you didn't find a right partner by twenty five, which Aemond twisted in his own favour to justify his actions, a delusion that he believes to be his truth.
His tongue flicks up and down your bud, sucking noises echoing through the room as he stroked his cock even fast, he lets go of your breast with a wet pop before he completely pulled his pants down and straddled your face, so his cock was directly above your chest and his tip ghosting over your lips.
He taps it against your lips, once, twice, and thrice, grunting at the feeling of your soft lips, he sighs heavily, speeding up the pace of his hand, imagining how your mouth would feel. Would you kiss the tip before taking him whole? Would you tease him? He knew you would, you were a cheeky little thing after all, and soon enough; before he can process it— he is spurting his cum all over your pretty face. He guides his cock and presses the tip to your lips, so his essence oozes onto it too.
He breathes heavily, taking in the sight of your face covered with his cum, still sleeping soundly, he searches for his phone, opening the camera and quickly taking a picture of you in this state, keeping it for later, and now, he's cleaning you up, pushing your bra back on your again, pulling down your shirt and wiping your face with the sleeve of his hand, you furrow your brows and he immediately gets off you, heart beating fast as you blink your eyes open, adjusting to the view in front of you.
“Aemond?” You question groggily, “Sorry, did I wake you?” He apologises and you hum, “Why are you here?” You ask, confused, “I just wanted to ask what you wanted for dinner, but then I realised you were sleeping, so I was about to leave just now.”
Those lies leave him naturally. You hum again, stretching in the bed before shifting positions, laying on your stomach this time. “So?” He asks, referring to his earlier question, “I'll eat anything, you're a good cook Aemond.” you give him a sweet smile and he smiles back, nodding before going out of the room. You fall back asleep, not suspecting Aemond of anything.
He walks out into the kitchen, sighing relief that he did not get caught, he isn't the type to be impulsive like this, he's much more calculative yet his desire was too strong to resist, but in the end; you did not suspect him of anything. Which he is thankful for. He opens his phone to take a look at the picture he took before smiling to himself.
Maybe you wouldn't be so easy to fool after all.
Tumblr media
Aemond hates your boyfriend.
He hates the way he makes you laugh, the way you giggle at his unfunny jokes pisses him off, he didn't know why he even agreed to let your boyfriend stay here, he was extremely annoyed, yet he did not show it.
But he knew he shouldn't be worried, after all, his plan was now set in motion with the arrival of your boyfriend in town, he had asked one of his devout followers to seduce your boyfriend, which will be set in motion once he goes out alone.
It's like the gods were listening to him, after all, whatever he wished for came true, or maybe he was the god himself, somehow making miracles like this happening.
Your boyfriend had gone out to take a look at your old house, you didn't go with him because your periods decided to hit you right on that day, Aemond took great care of you, letting you lay down all day, and pampering you with kindness.
Over the course of the week, your boyfriend would go out on the excuse of looking at the house, you believed him that he was just doing only that, but his returns became late, and often so, he smelled like a woman's perfume. Aemond was disgusted by him, sure he had set up the plan but the fact that it took your boyfriend barely two meetings with Floris to begin to fall for her showed his wavering loyalty.
You didn't suspect him, which made Aemond scoff, realising that you're way too trusting and he had to take matters into his own hand.
He came back one day from ‘work’ which you still had no idea on what he did and told you that he spotted your boyfriend with a woman. You raised your eyebrow.
“Are you sure you aren't mistaken?” You ask him, “I knew you'd ask that, so I took a picture to prove it.” He shows you the picture and you are shocked, it was a picture of your boyfriend close to a woman, and it looked quite intimate.
Your eyes begin to tear up, “Surely it's nothing right? I mean, he probably got close to her to say something maybe? Right, Aemond? He wouldn't betray me like that right—?” Your voice begins to crack and your eyes frantically search for reassurance in Aemond's eye, but he just swallows thickly and looks down, and that's when you break down.
Legs giving out as you crumble to the floor, feeling your world shatter, Aemond is quick to react, trying to raise you back up but you wouldn't budge so kneels beside you as well, “I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have revealed that.” He mutters and you look at him before shaking your head, “No no no, it isn't your fault Aemond, I just— I just didn't think he'd be willing to throw away our relationship of 2 years.” You cover your face as tears begin to stream down your cheeks.
Aemond spreads his arms as if he's about to hug you, but he hesitates, not sure if you want to be hugged, but you lean into his chest for comfort and he immediately wraps his arms around you protectively. He rubs your shoulders as you cry your heart out to him, tears and snot staining his shirt, but he doesn't say anything.
A few moments later you calm down, and stare at Aemond, “What do I do now?” You ask him, eyes void of any light, and he wants to smirk but he can't, knowing that he has you where he wants, you to depend on him, it may just be a momentary dependence but he'll make it permanent soon.
“Leave him.” He says sternly and you nod, “He doesn't deserve you, you're such an amazing person, I cannot believe how he can leave you for another woman, who isn't isn't half as amazing as you.” He adds, and you nod once again, “You're right Aemond, I should leave him.” You tell him and get up off the floor, going to your room and thrashing around, separating your boyfriend's things from yours and throwing them in the living room.
Aemond smirks when you face away from him.
He's finally achieving what he wants.
The moment your boyfriend returns home, you begin screaming at him, telling him to get out and he argues back as well, before finally admitting that he cheated and apologising for it. Aemond was worried that you'd accept the apology, but you didn't and scoffed instead, slapping your now ex boyfriend across the face and throwing his things out and shutting the door in his face.
You rolled your eyes when he began yelling at you, calling you derogatory names but you ignored him, and Aemond sent a quick text to someone regarding your boyfriend.
You expected your boyfriend to still be there outside in the morning, but he isn't there anymore, he vanished. You didn't know why you hoped to see him there, but you were more relieved that he wasn't there.
Aemond was making breakfast and you decided to help him with it by preparing coffee for both of you and setting it down on the table, he places your plate in front of you and you thank him before he sits opposite to you, you stare off into the distance as you mindlessly chew.
“So what are you planning to do now?” He queries and you snap out of your daze to answer, “I don't know, I'll still probably live here, just not with a partner I guess.” You reply and he hums, “You can stay at my house as long as you want.” He interjects and you are about to protest but Aemond grabs your hand, thumb caressing your knuckles. You stare into his eye.
“Only for a few more days, to get your mind off, you know— I know you'll overthink when you're isolated, you always do.” He expresses his concern for you and you think for a moment, knowing that he is right. You sigh heavily before agreeing that you'd stay with him for a few more days.
Except it won't only be a few days.
Tumblr media
Do you know how spiders devour their prey once it's trapped? Sinking their claws into their prey before injecting venom which destroys the prey from the inside and then; its ready to be devoured. Just like a spider; Aemond slowly injected his venom into you, manipulating you ever so slightly, till you are completely broken on the inside and dependent on him, he would play mind games with you, often talk to you about his beliefs— no, goad you into his beliefs.
You were left vulnerable after that incident, and Aemond had convinced you to join a ‘community’ where everyone gets together to help each other out and live in harmony, he talked about all the benefits of it, and at first you were reluctant, he knew you'd be, but at the end, you were convinced.
He was happy, telling you all the positive things about joining the said ‘community’, how the people were so welcoming and friendly, he said they all gather around the town’s sept every Sunday to pray, he tells you how most of the neighbours are in that community, they're selfless and kind.
He was making it seep into your brain.
Then he reveals that it's run by him.
Maybe he should've mentioned that earlier, because you looked at him shocked and you smiled, “It's run by you? Then I have no issue joining it! I was reluctant but for an odd reason, but knowing that it's run by you makes it more comforting.” You tell him and he smirks, knowing he had achieved his goal.
Well only half of it.
Aemond had a vision since he was young, to change the world for the better, he knew the world he lived in was beyond repair and so he decided to turn to the faith of the seven to find hope in religion, then, he had read about the ‘messengers’ of the gods, who are blessed by them.
Aemond believed himself to be one of them.
He did everything in the name of the seven, he just acted as a messenger, or so he thought himself.
Anyone one with common sense could that this community is clearly a cult, with its leader being Aemond, it wasn't a protestant group of the faith of the seven, no, it was entirely different, his community commits sin that the gods are against, incest, polygamy, etc yet Aemond doesn't think so. He believes that by committing these sins, they are repenting.
A flawed logic.
Aemond would often torture the community members who misbehaved, those who dared question his methods had their tongues cut off, and those that spread rumours that he was sleeping around with the cult women for pleasure was found and brutally tortured for hours on the end, he was more offended that they had claimed that he was doing it for ‘pleasure’ when in reality, he believes it to be a way of repenting. He never denied the accusations of sleeping with other women.
Amidst all of this he had almost forgotten about you.
Almost.
How can he ever forget you? His first love, the one that stayed together with him for a long time, helping him with everything. You were his star. A star that shone brightly, a star that he promised to seize.
And he had almost achieved that.
He just needed to push more, until you're finally his, he'll prove to you why you don't need anyone else, and neither does he, you'll be the goddess of the community, he will make sure everyone treats you with utmost respect.
It all started off slow, Aemond had introduced you to one of the members, who was very warm and cheerful which made you feel welcomed and you immediately began getting along with everyone slowly.
Aemond would introduce more and more people, and since then you started to wonder how many people are actually in the said community, the strength likely being in four digits.
You had tried to move out several times, but Aemond always had an excuse to make you stay, sometimes he'd fake being sick, and other times he'd guilt trip you — without you realising of course. So you stayed, a week turned into a month, and a month turned into two. Eventually you forgot all about moving out together and lived with Aemond.
You'd often cook dinner for him when he was out, coming back home late night, one time he had come back with a splash on blood on his clothes and you were worried for him, thinking he got hurt but he told you it was nothing and that he just helped a hurt animal on the road that was bleeding which got unto his shirt.
That was a far fetched lie.
He murdered your boyfriend that night.
After days, no, weeks of torturing him.
But you were none the wiser.
He'd make sure you'd never find out about his cruel side, he'd hope so that he doesn't have to act that way to get you to behave, after all he'd hate wanting to hurt someone he cherishes.
So he shows you all the love in the world, slowly indoctrinating you with his words that were sweet and having you falling for him, they weren't lies, but the tone was manipulative, he'd convince you sometimes that you need no one other than him, and you'd disagree at first but then you slowly began to agree, because you truly did feel that way.
The two of you got closer as time passed on, and Aemond had fully started to invade your personal space now, touching you for longer moments, hugging you from behind while you cooked, kissing your neck, while he fondled the flesh of your stomach and slowly tracing it up towards your breasts.
You didn't say anything about it, but you just leaned into his touch, it was comforting, warm and euphoric, so you didn't mind it. There was a blaring alarm at the back of your mind that tried warning you about everything that was occurring, but you didn't realise what it was warning you about.
And soon your twenty fifth birthday passed by, it was celebrated grandly, with the community members, everything seemed so fun.
A week had passed since then; life didn't change much except for the tension between you and Aemond increasing day by day, he especially seemed on edge ever since you turned twenty five. It seemed like a normal day, Aemond had gone out and returned, while you prepared a meal for the both of you.
He helped you set down the dishes on the table, and you thanked him for it. The food was burning hot, so you both decided to let it cool down a little before eating.
“There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about since your birthday…” Aemond is the first one to speak and you hum in question, “Do you remember the promise we made?” He asks and you furrow your eyebrows; trying to remember, and then it clicks.
“Ah yes! The promise about marrying each other if we don't have a partner after twenty five right?” You ask and he nods, “That was so silly, we were just kids!” You chuckle, “What?” His tone dropped an octave and the atmosphere suddenly turned ominous, “I mean—”
“So you're a liar.” He interrupts you, “You don't keep your promises.” He continues, “No Aemond- I did not mean-” “Shut up.” He grits his teeth and you immediately do.
“The conditions fit, do they not? What is so silly about it?” He gets up, chair screeching against the floor, he grabs your wrist and pulls you up too. “Aemond— marriage is a lot.” You try to be sensible, but he just furrowed his brows in anger, “Do you not feel anything between us? Do you not love me?” He asks, his eye frantically searching for an answer in yours, “Aemond, I do love you, but marriage is a lot.” You confess, looking directly at him.
You haven't fully broken down yet.
Your defiance tells him that.
The submissiveness that he once tried indoctrinating into you was gone in mere moments at the mention of marriage.
You were talking back to him.
“Marriage is a union of souls, if you love me, why do you not accept it?” He questions, his grip on your wrist tightening, You remain silent feeling a sense of doom in your gut, you did not want to disappoint Aemond.
Conflicted feelings arise in you, your rationality fighting against your own thoughts, Aemond can see it, “Y/N, I love you so much, I want you to marry me.” He says softly, voice laced with honey, you look him in the eye. ‘Maybe marriage to him isn't that bad, I love him too.’ you think, something about the eye contact was so intimate and hypnotising to the point that the voice screaming no in the back of your mind had begun to fade and soon disappeared.
His face softens when you look away, knowing he has you where he wanted, “Y/N?” He mutters and you do not respond, lost in your own thoughts. You felt as if your rational thoughts had been drained from you, and before you knew it, your brain had already made the decision.
“I will marry you, Aemond.” you reply.
Aemond wanted to jump in ecstasy, everything he ever wanted was right in his hands, the cult, the people, the power and now, you. He couldn't contain his joy and hugged you tightly, face buried in the crook of your neck, the scent of the fresh shampoo in your hair was subtle but it drove him insane, combined with the smell of soap on your skin.
You hugged him back, kissing his shoulder.
Something in this feels very wrong, yet you cannot put your finger on it, the rational voice has been drowned out from your thoughts, your skin feels prickly, your gut was warning you about something you cannot understand, because on the surface you don't notice anything wrong.
Aemond's hands trail up your back with carefulness, his fingers drew patterns as he pulled you closer into the hug wanting you impossibly close to him, he tried so hard to maintain his calm demeanour but it was difficult.
Because his prey is finally caught now.
The venom he injected into you worked, you weren't resisting anymore.
He could finally feast on you now.
He pulls away from the hug to stare into your eye before he tilts his head to connect your lips with his, he licks the bottom of your lip before capturing them fully, you take a deep breath of air before you lean into the kiss, arms circling around his shoulders, connected at the back of his neck.
His left hand holds the back of your head, pushing you further into the kiss while his free hand moves towards your breast, giving it a slight squeeze.
He plays with the nipple through the fabric with his thumb, his touch was electrifying, shooting current up your spine everytime he grazes his thumb against your nipple.
His hand leaves your breast resting on your waist instead, pulling your body close to his and holding you tightly.
He pulled your bottom lip with his teeth as he stared at you with hunger before he let it go gently, you breathed heavily, staring at him intensely, waiting for his next action.
He immediately pushed you against the table, lifting you up and placing you on it, he wasted no time in kneeling in between your legs while spreading them wide. He pushed your skirt upwards and hooked his fingers under the band of your panty before pulling them.
You watched in anticipation as he completely took them off before he positioned himself properly once again, he teased you, peppering kisses on your thighs and giving kisses to your intimate flesh.
You caressed his hair gently and it drove him insane; so he wasted no time and immediately latched himself on your bud, which made you gasp at the sudden movement.
Your grip on his hair only tightened further when you felt him swipe his tongue through your folds, lapping at them like a thirsty man, you couldn't help but grind yourself against his mouth, his hands were wrapped around your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you.
“O-oh Aemond.” You moaned, face distorted with pleasure when you felt him bite your clitoris before licking it as a way to soothe it, his tongue soon prodded at the entrance of your cunt, licking up all the juices your cunt wept.
He flicked his tongue against your clit, nibbling on it slowly, taking his own time savouring his sweet, he licked and licked and still couldn't get enough, he felt like he was in heaven.
He pulled away to get some air and in that moment you caught a glimpse of his wet lips, covered in your juices, which made you clench around nothing, making you even more hot. You pulled his face into your cunt which he didn't protest against, taking your bud into his mouth once again.
You felt tingly all over your body and you knew your orgasm was approaching soon, so you began to hump his face desperately, gripping his hair tighter and moving your hips up and down.
You moaned in pleasure when you felt your high hit, your body trembled from overwhelming surge of pleasure.
You breathed heavily, panting and gasping for air as Aemond slowly let go with his lips glossed with your essence, he licked his lip wanting to taste you more and you blushed at the sight.
Aemond stared at you from below as you gave him a gentle smile, and he realised one thing.
He had never knelt for anyone.
Yet he's kneeling for you now.
And it doesn't bother him, he wants to serve you, as his everything but he also wants to keep you in control, and he shall do exactly that.
He immediately got up, and picked you up, carrying you towards his bedroom, his dick was throbbing in his pants, he opened the door quickly, kicking it shut with his feet and throwing you on the bed.
He took his shirt off; wasting no time, and immediately worked on pulling off his pants, he pushed them down and stepped out of them, leaving him fully naked while you removed your own clothes.
He pounced on you like an animal in head, holding your legs together up in the air and lining his cock up against your entrance, you groaned when you felt him enter you.
Feeling every little inch of him occupy you from the inside, you placed both your legs on his shoulders as he thrusted forward slowly.
He was visibly shaking, trying to not to be rough with you, he wanted to let go of himself fully and fuck you senseless, yet he retained himself, trying to stay calm as to not scare you off.
You involuntarily clench around him— which makes him lose the control he had on himself, the way your gummy walls felt around his shaft made him feral, and so he tightened his grip on your legs and immediately began ramming himself into you.
He thrusted ferociously, growling like a beast in heat with every movement, his hair growing messier and sweatier as he stared down at you, your body moved up and down the bed at the speed he was plunging himself into you, making the bed shake and creak.
You arched your back in pleasure when felt his tip kiss the sweet spot inside you, hands gripping the sheets below tightly. Your moans couldn't help but get louder and louder.
Your mind became hazy as you slurred out words, “H-harder, Aemond please..” you let out, wanting him to get even more rough on you, you were enjoying his cruelty which made him even more ecstatic.
He obeyed you, giving you what you wanted, you threw your head back against the bed, feeling him go faster, mind spinning with pleasure as his cock is making you feel unbelievably full.
Aemond could feel that he was close to his release, his abdominal muscles clenched in preparation for his orgasm but he did not want to finish before you do, so his hand travelled to your clit and rubbed fast circled onto it.
You whined at the combined pleasure and choked on your own words when you felt your orgasm hit you suddenly— the band in your abdomen snapping harshly, you let out a scream-like moan as your juices gushed down your thighs.
Aemond smirked at the sight, and picked up his pace, “I'm gonna cum inside you okay?” He tells you and you look at him, vision hazy, “But-” You couldn't finish your sentence as he had already cum inside you, shooting his load inside your cunt, painting your gummy walls white.
“Fuck oh fuck—” he slowly rides his orgasm out, “Can't wait to see you carrying my children around.” He rambles, and you stay silent, “Look at me.” You look at him, “You're gonna be the best mother, the mother of my children, aren't you excited?” He asks and you don't have time to think when your head moves by itself, you give him an eager nod.
“Yes Aemond, I am.” You were speaking, yet it didn't feel like you.
“Good girl.” Yet that one compliment made you giddy with excitement, so you pulled him into a kiss, dropping your legs off his shoulders.
“I can't believe this.” He starts
“Believe what?” You question.
“That I have everything I've ever dreamed of, especially you.” He kisses your forehead, and you smile. “Of course.” you reply.
Tumblr media
Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, Aemond has completely infiltrated your brain, and at the wedding altar, the entire community cheered as you exchanged your vows, Aemond smiled mischievously, knowing you are his forever now.
He announced you as his ‘Queen’ and ‘Goddess’ which had everyone worshipping you. You would've found this odd had it been your old self, but you got accustomed to it, believing it to be normal, yet ignorant to your mental state.
But you had no time to ponder as you felt the babe in your belly kick which filled you with happiness, you grabbed Aemond's hand immediately which caught him off guard and placed it on your belly.
His face held confusion up until he felt the baby inside you kick again which made his eye widen and lips spread into a smile, he pulled you into a hug.
Your life was good and domestic or so you continue to believe. Unaware of what you're truly involved with. Yet Aemond never cared to reveal the truth to you.
As he believes ‘ignorance is bliss’
Tumblr media
— !  ݈݇- thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated greatly ♡
Tumblr media
748 notes · View notes
nanaminded · 5 months
Text
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐎 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦
𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍
𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 ⭑ 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 ⭑ 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 ⭑ 𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 : Reader is under 5'3'' and tip-toeing to kiss the JJK men. How do they react?
Tumblr media
𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 五条 ⭑ 190cm of narcissism
"Shit baby, didn't see you there."
Slaps on his cockiest grin and pretends he can't see you (internally freaking out).
Slides his legs sideways slowly, almost going for a split just to stop until he's at your eye level. "You may now kiss the groom."
Sends you video links of 'How to grow taller in a month' within the next few hours.
𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 夏油 ⭑ #notKenjaku
Bends to whisper in your ear "Need some help?"
Backs away just as you try to seize the opportunity.
"Magic word first princess."
Bends down after you say 'please' and lifts you up to wrap your legs around his waist while walking to the nearest chair/couch/bed.
𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 建人 ⭑ 7:3-ing
Smiles with a hint of a blush. "You can just ask me to bend a little, love."
Pulls you in by the waist and bends just enough so you can kiss him.
Tightens his grip as you try to move after the kiss. "That's it? I must say I'm a bit disappointed."
Gently grabs the back of your head for another kiss, deeper this time.
𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 伏黒 ⭑ daddy ballet shoes
Bursts out laughing "Ya look ridiculous from up here woman."
Before you even notice, takes a pic of you struggling from his POV.
"Yeah gonna get this one framed." Holds the phone above his head as you try to snatch it from him.
Mumbles 'fuck you're cute' as you whine before kneeling down to make your life easier.
Tumblr media
©️𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃. Do not copy or repost without credits or I'll cry.
371 notes · View notes
dogfish4200 · 28 days
Text
the party and the after party
you and Leon hate each other, simple enough. CW: smut!
Tumblr media
To put it simply, Leon is an asshole. A pure pile of dogshit you want to leave on the ground for someone else to deal with. He’s cocky to the point of narcissism, unnecessarily rude under the guise of “sarcasm,” and doesn’t seem to care enough to ever apologize. Essentially, the opposite of you, with straight As and a track record of volunteer work, the epitome of a goody two shoes which you don’t see as an insult anyway.
So, when he shows up at your birthday party unannounced and uninvited, it takes pretty much everything in you to not walk over and slap the grin off his stupid face.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Leon.” It’s not said like a question. The words roll off your tongue coated in venom, and to be honest the few drinks in your system have made you more confident than you actually feel.
“What’s wrong? Thought this lame excuse of a party could use some entertainment.” Leon cocks his head to the side and gives you a wink, unbothered by the obvious tension in the room.
Everyone here knows the fights between you guys get real nasty real fast, the last time it happened you both got kicked out of the library for yelling and throwing books. That time though, it was because Leon had copied your scholarship project idea and submitted it before you, forcing you to redo the entire thing a week before the deadline.
“You weren’t invited, shithead, and why would you even think I would want you here in the first place? All you do is walk around like you own everything and treat people like they're worthless.” Heat was rushing to your face now, and you didn’t really mean to escalate things so quickly, but when he stood in front you with a look of pure spite, who could really blame you?
Leon simply shrugged, pushing past and knocking into your shoulder on the way through the hallway. As he moved by, he leaned down next to your ear and whispered, “if you really want me to leave, it’ll take more convincing than a few middle school level insults.” He let out a chuckle at the way your body tensed before continuing on his way inside the house.
It’s an hour later before you see him again, this time with his head thrown back laughing at a joke someone said. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, one hand holding a red solo cup and the other firmly planted around the waist of some girl you know from an old volunteer group.
It’s unclear why, but you find yourself walking over and grabbing another cup. Leon’s eyes are locked onto your every move and his mouth is curled into another one of his signature smirks as he raises his drink.
He watches you accidentally pour a little more liquor than necessary into the cup, follows the motion as you bring it to your lips and tilt your head back to swallow the entirety of the liquid in one go. You catch his gaze for a second, wincing slightly at the burn of the vodka sliding down your throat, and see him lean down to tell the girl something before letting her go and striding over to where you stand.
“For someone who turns homicidal over a little project, I’m not surprised that that didn't make you puke.” The sarcasm in his voice is not lost on you, it wasn’t a compliment. You look up to meet his eyes, glaring intently while deciding how to respond.
“Guess you don’t have me as figured out as you think you do then.” You turn away from him and attempt to pour another shot for yourself, but Leon’s hand is suddenly ripping the bottle away from you. “What the fuck is your problem? Does it look like that was for you?”
Leon shoots you a devilish grin, uncapping the liquor and bringing the mouth of the bottle up to his own lips before taking a long, exaggerated pull. Setting the bottle back on the counter, he replies “You said it yourself didn’t you? I own everything.”
“That’s not what I said. I said you act like you own everything, big difference dumbass.” You roll your eyes at him and shove him backwards, noticing how close he had gotten over the last minute. Leon barely blinks an eye at the reaction, and instead of letting you walk away, grabs your wrist roughly to pull you back towards him. He’s turned you around so your back is pressed into the counter and you can feel his breath on your face as he speaks. “Are you always this bratty? Or is this something you save just for me?”
The hold he has on your wrist is tight, tight enough that you think it should hurt if you didn’t have the amount of adrenaline equivalent to skydiving running through your body right now. “You think me telling you you’re a piece of shit is being bratty? I’m pretty sure if I was being bratty, I wouldn’t win all our fights.”
“You think you’re so much better than me because what? You get good grades? Win some scholarships? Newsflash, sweetheart, people are only friends with you because it looks good. Because you’re a pushover and they want to use you for their own gain. At least, that’s what I’ve heard anyway.” Leon releases your wrist and reaches for his cup again, smiling like he just won the fucking lottery.
The rage boiling inside you is not well hidden, and your impulse control is significantly lacking in your current state. Instead of playing the “bigger person” and staying silent this time, you grab his cup and splash it directly in his face before turning and storming out of the room, leaving a now sufficiently soaked Leon in your wake.
Stomping up the stairs, gripping the handrail so tight you might as well bring it with you, you make your way to the second floor bathroom. You step instead and slam the door shut, albeit a tad harder than was necessary, but you can’t find in you to care right now.
As you're splashing cool water on yourself and attempting to pull it together, it is your birthday after all, the doorknob jiggles slightly before the door swings open to reveal none other than the man you wish would burn to ash under your gaze. Bile pools in your stomach at the sight of Leon, strutting into the poorly lit bathroom without a care in the world as if he didn’t just stab you with a knife and twist the blade.
“Long time no see, your majesty.” He makes a point of overexaggerating a bow before roughly shoving you out of the way of the sink and grabbing a towel to wipe his face. “You know, you’re really just as much of a piece of shit as I am with the way you act towards me.”
Rage fuels you at this point, a string of sentences too obscene even for you snaking their way around your tongue, held back only by the determination to not prove his point. You scoff and cross your arms over your chest, “If I was such a bad person, I wouldn’t be helping as many people as I do.”
“Right, because changing the world is all about being a kiss ass who does whatever they’re told.” Leon rolls his eyes before continuing, “Don’t you get bored of being who everyone else wants you to be?”
The question could be read as caring if you didn’t hear the malice in Leon’s tone, words chosen specifically because he knew it was something that would get under your skin. “Who said I’m not doing what I want? Just because you can’t handle the thought of caring about another human being doesn’t mean I can’t too.”
“That’s what you want? A nice house with a nice job and a nice car and a nice boy who praises everything you do? I’m not convinced, but if that’s what life is about for you,” He paused briefly, turning away from the sink and taking a step towards you, “then I hope you fucking hate every second of it.”
White noise filled your eardrums, blood rushed to your face, and you stick a pointer finger in his chest as you respond “What makes you think I care about your opinion? Why would anything you say hold any meaning to me? You’re just scared because you know you’ll end up alone and sad regardless.”
A shift in Leon’s eyes signal you touched a nerve, and his usually flippant demeanor suddenly morphed into a look of fury that you had yet to observe up close. You became increasingly aware of the wall behind you and the way Leon continued to press forward, leaving minimal space between the two of you.
The tone of his voice when he spoke was lower than before and raspy, as if he was fighting an internal battle to not smash something. “You think you’re some untouchable princess that gets whatever you want handed over on a silver fucking platter, but I swear to god,” his voice dropped impossibly lower as he placed one hand on either side of your head, caging you in against the wall, “I could ruin every good thing about you right now if I wanted to.”
Centimeters separated your faces, heavy breathing filled the space as both of you stared the other down, not willing to be the first one to break away. “Such a fucking shame that someone as pretty as you has to be so damn ugly,” he begins twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, “I guess nice guys finish last because you don’t let them come first, huh?”
Your breath was caught in your throat at the implication behind his words, mind reeling both at the way you wanted to break his nose and also prove him wrong. “Nice guys finish last, Leon , because they know how to be a gentleman unlike you.”
Your voice comes out shakier than intended, but you stand your ground, eyes locked onto his as he suddenly stops twirling and instead grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls your head back into the wall with a thud. “Maybe so, but nice guys don’t know how to fully satisfy you, do they? Always left wanting more, just like everything else in your life.”
Leon’s grip in your hair was brutal, keeping you in place as his whispered insults travel the short distance to your ear and his mouth ghosts over the skin of your neck. “You haven’t asked me what I want in life, princess.”
You draw in a slow breath, extremely aware of every nerve on the right side of your neck where Leon’s teeth nip at you. “Why should I care what you want, asshole?”
“Because, darling, I think you might like it.” You feel a wicked grin spread over his face as he bites down, hard, right under the curve of your jaw. “I want everyone downstairs to know you like screaming my name in more ways than one.”
Another bite, just below the first.
“I want to show you that you don’t deserve anyone better than me.”
A third bite lands even lower than the others.
“And, I want you to admit that it feels good to give up for once.” Leon’s tongue presses flat against your throat, moving swiftly up over the places he just bit, his spit cooling the fire on your skin only slightly.
“Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll stop, but if you say nothing, well, there’s no one here to stop me from taking what I want is there?” Leon lifted his head back up to meet your eyes, dark pools of anger staring as you fight to try to form a sentence, a word even, to tell him to get the fuck away from you and leave you alone for good.
You pause for a second too long, Leon now placing both hands on your shoulders and practically throwing you on your knees in front of him. Letting out a groan of pain as you land on the tile, Leon looks down at you with nothing but a grandiose aura surrounding him. “Look at you, on your knees for someone you claim to hate so badly.”
“You shoved me down here, now my knee hurts and I’m too drunk to want to get up.” The sentence comes tumbling out of your mouth, embarrassment rising and rapidly overtaking the red hot rage fueling you before.
“Sure, but I bet if I took my cock out you’d suck it anyways, wouldn’t you? You want to be a slut, don’t you? But it would ruin the perfect little image everyone has of you.”Leon leans down to place a hand around your throat, squeezing so hard you think you might pass out before anything else can happen. “I know you, and I know you’re willing to take whatever the fuck I’m about to give you, so shut the fuck up and open that disgusting mouth of yours.”
He releases the grip on your throat and you let out a cough, gasping for the air that was so forcibly removed from you, and sit back on your heels without saying a word. You glare up at him, and if love is thinking someone planted the stars in the sky just for you, your hatred for Leon was as if he had stolen each and every one for himself, leaving behind a trail of tears everywhere he went. Leon makes quick work of removing his belt and unbuttoning his pants, pulling them down around his thighs and revealing the aching hard on hiding beneath. You steal a glance at it, taking note of how easy it would be to punch him and run for it, but something keeps you frozen in place and waiting for his next move.
A hand angrily grabs at your face, gripping the sides of your jaw and a calloused thumb reaches to force your lips to part. “By the way,” he drops his hand away and pulls his briefs down in one motion, “I’m not going to apologize if I leave bruises,” he takes the base of his cock in one hand and brings the tip up to meet your mouth, precum glazing over your bottom lip, “and I definitely won’t apologize when I finish first.”
With a harsh thrust forward,Leon forces his entire cock into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat and causing you to choke around him. He takes a sharp inhale between gritted teeth, looking down and whispering a string of curse words before moving his hips back only to immediately slam himself into your mouth again.
Tears spring to the corners of your eyes almost instantly, the force of him fucking into your mouth causing your head to hit the wall before he snakes fingers into your hair and holds you still. The sounds of spit and breathy moans fill the bathroom, faint music from downstairs is heard as Leon sets a relentless pace on your throat.
“Fuck, look at you, such a dirty fucking slut. I wish everyone could see you right now, gagging on my fucking cock and whining like a little bitch.”Leon’s words send a tremor down your spine as you look back up at him with blurry eyes and tear stained cheeks. “No one will ever want you when they find out what a whore you are. Just a toy for others to play with. Fuck.” Leon suddenly pulls out of your mouth, the hand in your hair forcing you to a standing position as the other rips open the button down shirt you had on. He makes quick work of pulling it off you, kicking his pants into a corner at the same time. He pushes you to the other side of the room, stomach pressed against the edge of the sink as you stare at yourself in the mirror.
“Be a good fucking whore for me and take those pants off, yeah?” He whispers menacingly into your ear, the implication of what’s about to happen dancing on his tongue with each syllable. You find yourself complying, too shaken from the events that are unfolding to put on a facade of denial. Slowly, you push your jeans down and over the curve of your ass, and as soon as skin is exposed a harsh slap is delivered, sending you forward and clutching onto the counter edge.
“Hurry the fuck up, bitch, you think I want this to last all night?”Leon growls out, taking your pants the rest of the way off in one aggressive pull. You let out a whimper as the skin on your ass turns red and the shape of Leon’s hand appears to mark the sinful acts being done. “Look at yourself, bent over and naked, crying and panting like a fucking dog, and I haven’t even fucking touched you. Pathetic.”
You can’t help the small and high pitched moan that escapes your mouth, something about the way he was saying these things to you made you completely pliant under him. You didn’t want to admit it, but you wondered if there was anybody else who could make you feel like this.
“Leon-” Another hard slap is delivered, this time on the back of your thigh, and it makes your knees weak enough where you feel like it’d be easier to crumple back down on the floor.
“Did I say you could fucking talk? I don’t want to hear a word from you unless I ask, and even then it should only be you begging me to fuck you.” Suddenly a hand was pulling your hair again, this time forcing you to make eye contact with him in the mirror as he jerked himself off with his free hand. “Say yes if you understand.”
The pain was mixing with pleasure at this point, sharp and shooting but so fucking sweet. You gasp out at the whiplash of being manhandled this way and liking it. “Y-yes.” Your voice is a whisper and you’re unsure if he even heard it at all, but then he arches your head back somehow further and spits on you without warning, and you can barely think about anything at all regardless.
“Yes, what?” He smiles at you, not kindly and not the way someone who was enjoying themselves would. No, instead, he smiled at you like he owned you. Like you were a prize he only won because he knew he could. Like you were merely a pawn in a game of chess that he played with his eyes closed. And it drove you fucking crazy.
“You don’t deserve more than the yes, asshole.” You gasp out in between breaths, body trembling and aching from the aggression being taken out on you.
That sealed your fate, the grip in your hair going limp as he takes his cock and lines it up with your entrance, not even bothering to check if you were ready though you knew he didn’t care either way. Rough hands found their way to either side of your hips, a bruising grip as he pulled you back onto his dick, beginning to pound into you using years of pent up anger to fuel him. One hand slid it’s way up and around to the front of your throat, squeezing again over the bite marks he left behind earlier.
He paused for a second, his dick deep inside you and your breathing uneven and ragged at the sheer size of him. You hated that it felt good, hated that you wanted him to break you in half.
“Still think I only deserve a yes?” Leon saw the way your eyes rolled back as he thrusted in, noticed the hitch in your breathing and the way your hips have started rotating in circular motions since he stopped. He picked up on all of it, and now he was a man on a goddamn mission.
You felt him bend down to grab something off the floor, hearing the jingle of his belt as he replaced his hand with the cool leather, looping it through and pulling the end of it like it was a fucking leash. “Remember when I said I wouldn’t apologize for leaving bruises?”
You didn’t have time to answer before he started thrusting into you again, the pace somehow faster and harder than before and making you see white spots in your vision. He tugged back on the belt, the lack of oxygen to your brain making everything else heightened as if you were free falling off the Empire State building.
You reached your hands out to place flat against the mirror, sweaty palms leaving behind streaks as Leon’s dick broke you down over and over until you weren’t even holding yourself up, the belt around your neck the only thing keeping you from slamming your face into the countertop.
The sounds you let fall out of your mouth somewhere between a cry and a moan echoed off the walls and mixed with the sound of skin hitting skin. Leon suddenly releases his deathgrip on the belt and pulls it off your head, never letting his pace falter, and gripping it in one hand. You let your head fall forwards, gasping and entire body shaking, he lifts one of your legs up onto the edge of the sink driving himself deeper inside you, forcing out a choked “f-fucking sh-shit, Leon.”
The crack of leather against skin breaks through the noise, causing you to yell out and try to move towards the mirror and away. Leon’s grip is strong as he moves you back to the edge, “remember what I fucking said about not talking?” Another slap from the belt blanks out your mind, every thought in your head nothing short of a pleading cry for more.
“Pl-please.” You choke out through sobs, weak and feeble, and you can see the way it makes the fire in Leon’s eyes ignite. He looks like a predator, like something that could swallow you whole and leave no trace you existed, and it makes you sick realizing you would let him.
“There it is,” Leon groans, “begging like the fucking slut I knew you were. Too bad I don’t. fucking. care.” He throws the belt back to the floor, hands digging into your sides leaving crescent shaped imprints and red scratch marks. His voice is rough around the edges, eyes roaming every inch of your body as he continues to fuck into you.
You feel the sensations pooling in your lower stomach, the intensity of everything catching up with you as you continue sobbing and pleading with him to just fucking touch you more. But, a man of his word, Leon’s pace becomes sloppy and his moans grow louder as he reaches his high.
A final hard thrust jerks you forward, hands splayed in front of you as he throws his head back and groans, finishing inside you. He continues to fuck you through his orgasm, out of breath and covered in a layer of sweat, both of you significantly less drunk than when this all started. Leon pulls out and you let slip a small whine at the feeling of loss as you collapse onto the counter when he lets go of your hips. You attempt to catch your breath and ground yourself again as Leon walks around cleaning himself off with the towel he had used on his face earlier. He tosses the towel in your general direction, landing on your back and causing your body to twitch involuntarily.
You glance up in the mirror, looking at the bruises covering your neck and shoulders, and see Leon sliding his clothes back onto his body. “What are you doing?” You wanted it to sound more mean, but it comes out needy and desperate.
“I got what I wanted, now have a good fucking time explaining this to everybody else.” And with that,Leon flashes a terrifyingly calm smile as he gathers the rest of his things off the floor and walks out of the room, leaving you with his cum dripping down your thighs and slouched over, alone.
You let out a sigh, “I fucking hate him so much.”
242 notes · View notes
seravphs · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — MIYA ATSUMU x FEM READER
Being hot at the grocery store should be illegal.
wc — 800
tags — grocery store meet cute, set in the same universe as the way to the heart is through the stomach
Tumblr media
“There is an attractive man on the other side of the grocery aisle,” you hiss at Kiyoko. Your roommate had dragged you out for a grocery run, but as the person who forced you out of the comfort of your home, she could stand to be a little nicer to you. 
Instead, she raises an eyebrow; her face conveying utter disdain, confusion, and slight pity at all once. It’s a little impressive, honestly. 
She peeks between the cracks in the shelves. Looks at you. Looks at the man. Looks at you again. She makes a motion that could be what are you waiting for or let the grandma pass so she can get her multivitamins. 
Sometimes it’s complicated when it comes to Kiyoko. She’s not great at talking without words. It’s because she’s spoiled. Must be nice to have a boyfriend who loves you so fully you don’t have to try to be understood, you think with a hint of jealousy. 
Then, she pushes you towards the other aisle in a gesture that’s unmistakable. 
“Kiyoko!” You’re appalled. “You’re not making me go over there. I’m wearing my pajamas!” 
Your pajamas are grey sweats with multiple suspicious stains from ketchup or blood or some other substance. You’re not sure. That’s why it’s suspicious. 
“Okay? He looks worse,” she says. Notably, she doesn’t tell you that you look fine. 
She probably thinks that’s reassuring. It’s not. 
The fact that he’s also in his pajamas and still looks hot is infuriating. 
And very sexy. 
Terribly so. 
“Just go talk to him,” she says. “You know if you don’t you’ll be thinking about him for days, anyway.” 
“I will not!” 
“Excuse me,” says the hot stranger, who in the time that you spent arguing with Kiyoko, has suddenly moved behind you. “Do ya mind?” 
He’s gesturing at the package of cereal behind you. 
You freeze. How did he move so quietly? And had he heard the conversation between you two? 
“Hello?” He waves his hand in your face - a little rudely. That deducts one point from his overall hotness score. You scramble away, giving him access to the shelf. 
“This is my favorite brand,” he says conversationally, “but my brother got a girlfriend lately, and every time she comes to our apartment she eats all of mine. I’ve told her not to like six million times! And he’s a chef! Why are ya even eatin’ processed junk if ya can get yer professional chef of a boyfriend to make ya whatever ya want? He’s so whipped, I swear.” 
“Aren’t- aren’t you also eating processed junk, then?” You say with trepidation.
He brushes you off with a “No, that’s different.” 
He’s…a little weird. Who just talks to a stranger like that? You have to admit that confidence is attractive - even if you’re not sure if it’s confidence or narcissism as he continues. 
“So, like. Are ya going to ask me out or what?” 
You choke on your own spit. He had overheard. There would be no better time for one of these shelves to fall on you and crush you instantly.
“Woah!” Says the hot stranger, who still hasn’t told you his name before commanding you to ask him out. “Ya okay?” 
He slaps your back as you wheeze for breath - hard. Is he an athlete in his spare time? How does anyone have that kind of arm strength? 
“I-“ You shut your mouth because actually, you don’t know what to say. How do you respond to that? 
“Come on,” says Mr. Bad Bleach Job. “I heard ya and yer little friend talking about me all the way down the aisle. I know you want in on this sexy ass.” 
He’s ridiculous. Are you - are you into that? You’re seriously reevaluating your mental health even as you say, almost to your own surprise, “Can I take you on a date?” 
He wrinkles his nose. “I dunno. Can ya make it a little more romantic?” 
“Why don’t you ask me out if you’re going to be so demanding?” You challenge. 
“Sure,” he says easily. “Wanna go out? We can get fancy sushi for fun and eat McDonald’s after cause that’s real food.” 
Even you can’t tell if the noise that escapes you is a laugh or a sigh. What have you gotten yourself into? 
“Whatever,” you say, handing him your phone. “I think mine was better.” 
“They both kind of sucked. 5/10 for execution, -2 for sheer cringe, -3 for awkwardness.” 
“Kiyoko, read the room.”
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
calltoamentor · 2 years
Text
Dating and Self
"All I can say is have fun in the gray Well, anyway It's nice to meet you." Dating after a narcissistic and controlling relationship is a challenge that requires a degree of vulnerability and risk. It is a lot of checking in with yourself.
“It sounds like you had a very…spirited conversation.” There was that word again. It wasn’t spirited, he was wrong for me. The Rings of Power doesn’t work with the canon of the Silmarillion, and the knowledge that this was the one show he didn’t “get bored of” would bother me inside. And contact with him was spotty, there hasn’t really been a second date so clearly he feels the same. And it felt…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
2 notes · View notes
dailydiarynquotes · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
93 notes · View notes
ghostofhyuck · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
NCT Dream and how they take photos of you. 
AN: I saw this trend on tiktok on how would NCT Dream take photo of someone and honestly, it looks so cute! (and yes, I am using female idols as photo references.) 
Mark Lee
Tumblr media
I think that Mark LOVESSSS taking stolen photos of your achievements. He's such a supportive boyfriend so he will be there to take photos whenever you receive awards or maybe you won something. Or maybe it's a huge gig or anything that's a milestone for you, he'll be there taking photos to document and of course to flex it to his socials that he's so so proud of his girlfriend <3
Huang Renjun
Tumblr media
Renjun loves taking photos of you especially when you two are on a dinner date! No matter how many times you two went out to have a dinner date, he doesn't get tired of taking photos of you because first of all, you're all dressed up! he doesn't want it all go down to waste, and second, he just wants to show everyone his view, which is you at your favorite local restaurant in the city <3
Lee Jeno
Tumblr media
Okay, but Jeno's the type to take photos if you ask him. He's not that bad at all, but your photos will really come out like something your boyfriend took. He's the type that once you gave him your phone, he'll just spams the camera button nonstop while you just continue to pose until you did all the pose and both of you are tired. There's a thousand photos and the decent ones are probably ten or maybe twenty at best lol. 
Lee Donghyuck
Tumblr media
Of course! Haechan would be that boyfriend who has a lot of silly photos of you. Something meme-worthy and blackmail material that you just can't believe that your boyfriend took that photo! It just happens that Haechan always have his camera on whenever disaster strikes you lmao. But don't worry, Haechan still finds those photos endearing and cute to be fair. He just loves teasing you. 
Na Jaemin
Tumblr media
Jaemin takes photo of you as if you're the most beautiful girl ever. He tends to focus on your face, portrait and just wanted to capture your beauty. From what I observed on his narcissism exhibit, he does love taking portraits of his members, so im sure he also does that to his girlfriend. Probably has tons of your portrait from different time, place, and event too! <3
Zhong Chenle
Tumblr media
I find Chenle's photos silly and sometimes out of context lol, so I'm convinced that's how he would take photos of his girlfriend BUT it still leans on the wholesome side. He takes silly photos just like Haechan BUT he lets you pose. It'll end up cute and wholesome, not much of the silly side but hey, he loves it. You look cute and you go with the flow that's why you two match each other. 
Park Jisung
Tumblr media
I feel like Jisung takes picture in a very gen-z coded way. You know those, late-night blurry pictures with flash. Yeah that's how he takes photos of you, and it's scripted! He'll give you a signal on to when to move, so that he can capture the blurry effect and he's reallly great at taking photos of it! Proud boyfriend too because his photos came out aesthetically pleasing. (and also, his muse is pretty that's why.)
316 notes · View notes
flammingnachos · 3 months
Text
“𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘴“ 𝖣𝖺𝖻()𝖧𝖺𝗐𝗄𝗌 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 (𝘔)
𝖲𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌;𝖠 𝗋𝗎𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝖬𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖣𝖺𝖻𝗂- 𝗈𝗁,𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖧𝖺𝗐𝗄𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗈
Tumblr media
𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀;(The reader is the #11 Pro-hero Nocturne whose quirk involves emitting ear-splitting frequencies. It's a mix between a bat and an owl, flying also included. Similarly, Nocturne cannot function in bright light at all without high-coverage goggles and works solely in the nighttime)
In retrospect, this was probably a long time coming.
Your eyes open and immediately close when you realize just how fucking bright it is, too bright—at least for your hypersensitivity to light.
The second thing you notice is that you're strapped to a chair, arms behind your back encased in what feels like handcuffs if the sounds of jingling are anything to go by. Your legs are similarly tied against the limbs of the chair.
You tug too hard on your restraints and pain shoots up the length of your wrists. It's on too fucking tight and you have no idea how you're supposed to get it off without breaking your thumb.
And the last thing you notice is that you aren't alone. There's someone in the room (it might be a warehouse) with you. You may not be able to see them right now but you can hear breathing as clear as day and it's not your own.
Briefly, you stop fighting against the cuffs and tilt your head to the side. "Enjoying the view?" You question boldly.
To be honest, you have no idea if the person watching you is a friend or foe... but the fact that you're tied up like this tells you that it's probably the latter.
"Oh, it's definitely been interesting so far." intones a deep voice somewhere in front of you. "I'm such a big fan of yours, Nocturne. You have no idea."
So they know your hero name. "I'd be delighted to give you an autograph. All you have to do is get these handcuffs off me."
The person gives a deep, low chuckle. You're inclined to believe that it's probably a man but you can't recognize the voice for the life of you.
And it isn't as though you can fucking see them either because your eyes are shot.
"You're cheeky, I like that." comments the unknown man. You hear the heaviness of footfall as he steadily moves closer to you. The ghost of his breath wafts across your cheek and you involuntarily shift away from it. "I'm going to enjoy breaking it out of you."
Over the heavy silence left in the wake of his words, you hear the sounds of waves lapping against the shore—and suddenly you remember what you're doing here.
You'd been investigating a heist at the piers with someone... gotten separated, and then been knocked out in the ensuing battle. You can remember the lick of blue flames against your skin, so close it was frightening.
You are here, trapped, because you fucked up badly and got too cocky in the heat of the moment. It was only a matter of time before your impulsiveness caught up to you.
(What you hadn't been banking on was that day being today.)
"You must be... Dabi." You whisper, the name rolling off your tongue effortlessly.
"The great Nocturne knows my name? I'm swooning." He says, confirming all of your suspicions in one fell swoop. You swallow harshly and ignore the light trying to break through your closed eyelids.
"W-Well, you know what they say. A hero's no good without a little charity."
He hums to himself, "Oh? I guess it's my turn to play the hero and pay you a little..." His hand moves to your throat. "Charity."
He doesn't squeeze down around your neck but he could if he so desired it. You know it and so does he. Despite your obvious disadvantage here, you can't help but feel like you're in command. Whether it comes from your own narcissism or your genuine beliefs that you can turn the tables on him, excitement still bubbles in your chest.
"I don't want to hurt you." He murmurs, but you know a false statement when you hear one. "I'm just doing my job here."
"Don't worry. I know all too well what that's like." You say sympathetically, holding still as he finally obscurs the source of light that caused you to shut your eyes in the first place with his body.
As far as villains go, Dabi is not ugly. In fact, he has quite a nice face if you look beneath the grotesque body modifications that mar his skin. The electrifying blue of his irises trap you like a bird in a cage, rendering you incapable of looking away. And you don't want to either.
He raises a brow as a smirk slowly begins to filter across his lips. "Eyes finally adjusted?"
"Sorta."
You're surprised that he doesn't know how your quirk works yet. It doesn't matter how long you sit beneath bright light and wait for your eyes to get acquainted with it... you still won't be able to see until it's dark again.
Where else would you have gotten the name Nocturne from?
"I have to admit, I like it when you keep your eyes on me." muses Dabi, "But then again, did you ever hear that once you take away sight, the other senses instantly become sharper?"
"I have heard that, yes." You say, humoring him.
"Care to test that theory?"
Your heartbeat jumps to your throat when you feel your chair tilting backwards, balanced on its two back legs as Dabi holds it up. The light assaults your vision again and you squeeze your eyes shut, a strangled cry falling fro𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝖺𝗍
There goes that power you thought you had.
If he drops the chair, you don't know what will happen to you, especially to your hands still tied behind it. The sheer feeling of being suspended in the air causes all of your senses to go on high alert.
If he intends to let you fall, you have no choice in the matter. In fact, as ideas filter through your head, you realize even if you break both your thumbs, the cuffs are so tight they still won't budge. You're stuck.
"What do you want me to do?" You hiss, struggling to keep your voice even. "Beg? Cry?"
"Nah, I don't get off on words alone." He shrugs, a curious lilt to his voice. "I'm looking for actions, Nocturne. Actions."
Dabi shifts his hand to the part of the chair beneath your head and brings his face towards you, a grin painting his normally impassive expression.
Half of you is thankful that he's drawn himself so close because this is the only way you can get a read on his expression. The other half of you is more than a little irritated that the lights behind him give him the ethereal glow of a halo – ironic.
The ball is in your court but he can take away the autonomy you cherish so badly if he wants to.
You really hope you're reading this man right because God help you if you aren't —
"Fuck it." You say and lean forward as much as your restraints will allow you to kiss him.
Dabi responds to your touch immediately, gnashing his teeth against your lower lip with so much intensity you feel the blood trickle down your mouth.
It sparks your senses to full awareness, eliciting an involuntary whimper from you when he slides his tongue against the wound he's created, lapping up the blood he drew from your skin. He's so into this that you fear he might drop your chair just from the high he seems to be getting from his own actions.
Dabi drops your chair back down to solid ground and undoes the bindings around your legs. The window for escape is right there but caught up in the heat of your own desire, you completely forget to use it.
The thought doesn't occur to you that you can kick his shins and free yourself until he picks you up and slams you up against a wall, hooking your legs around his waist. Your cuffed wrists are utterly useless, wedged behind your back in the most uncomfortable way possible.
Mild pain shoots up your spine when you feel his nails dig into the flesh beneath your thighs. He kisses you again, hard and bruising and then dips his chin to drag the flat of his tongue against your pulse point, nipping at your collarbone.
Your head tilts back, meeting the harsh resistance of the wall behind you. The thump sound is loud in the quiet of this... whatever this place is, and Dabi chuckles quietly. "Impatient?"
"I'm just getting started." You manage, the jingle of the metal around your wrists severely impacting your ability to get comfortable. "I'd be happy if you could get these cuffs off."
"Yeah? I'm sure you would be."
You try to convince yourself that the only reason you want the handcuffs off is so that you can run but you know better than to think that. You like this more than you care to admit and the proof is in the warmth pooling in your abdomen.
"Poor little hero, left all alone." sings Dabi, his lips moving to the shell of your ear. "This is one sticky situation you've gotten yourself into, Nocturne."
"I'm used to it." You retort, voice strained. "Besides... better me than..."
Oh.
You were here with someone.
The memories flash white behind your eyes; red wings, a stupid tawny coat, feathers that tried to carry you away to safety when the blaze broke out.
You were here with Hawks.
Dabi chuckles lowly. "You're remembering something, aren't you?"
Had he done something to Hawks? No. No, that can't be it. Hawks is the number two hero in all of Japan and Dabi is just a B-ranked villain, low enough that in the heat of a battle, your superiors would probably tell you to leave him be.
"Where is he?" You question, your voice wavering on lack of control. "Did you do anything to him?"
Dabi rolls his eyes. "Articulate, Nocturne. Who is he?"
You're almost hesitant to drop the name of your friend but Dabi intends to hold out if you continue to be so vague. "Hawks–Where is he?"
"Oh, him." He scoffs, pressing an open-mouthed kiss against your throat. "I couldn't care less about that dumbass."
"Well, fuck you too, Dabi."
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The familiar voice has your stiff muscles immediately relaxing until you remember the position that you're still in. This would appear bad no matter how you spun it. You don't have a clue how to explain this to Hawks.
Over the width of Dabi's shoulder, you can faintly see Hawks at the doorway, expression impassive as he kicks the door shut and stalks towards you, the clomping of his boots drowning out the buzzing of blood in your veins.
"Bird-brain finally decided to show up." remarks Dabi against the hollow of your throat. "This should be good."
His teeth scrape along your skin, deep enough to draw blood which he immediately soothes with a chaste kiss as though that helps you any. The bruises on your skin after today's ordeal will be a bitch to go away.
"Welcome back." says Dabi. He may be dealing with you but his attention has already shifted over to Hawks. "Thanks for the little present. As you can see, we're having tons of fun."
You swallow and meet Hawks' gaze, finding that while he's frowning, the air of concern for your well-being that should be there... isn't. "H-Hawks..." You whimper, the rest of your words traded for a low keen when Dabi drags his teeth along the curve of your neck, tickling your sensitive spot.
"Alright, alright." sighs Hawks tiredly as he grabs a fistful of Dabi's hair, craning his neck back and forcing his mouth away from you. The loss of contact nearly makes you yearn for it again.
You're being rescued, finally. Maybe rescued isn't the word to use because loathe as you are to admit it, you're enjoying yourself so far. But Hawks has come to put a stop to this madness, bless his soul.
Dabi doesn't look put off by the way Hawks is handling him. In fact, to you he almost seems pleased, blinking languidly like a satisfied cat basking in its own chaos.
You're expecting a punch or to see Dabi's hands drip blue flames as he attacks. Anything.
Hawks drags Dabi into a hot and heavy kiss, making a great show of licking into his mouth and adjusting his grip on his knotted hair as Dabi seems to melt into the touch, groaning lower than you've bore witness to so far.
You gasp, eyes blown wide with shock that courses through the entirety of your body. That kiss was too familiar and too intimate to be considered as it is.
This isn't their first meeting.
Hawks pulls away from Dabi with a wet pop that does absolutely nothing to detract from your arousal. The dark-haired man drags his tongue over the seam of his lips and grins.
"You're friends." You whisper, a cold sweat dripping down your back. "And I've been played."
"Friends?" snorts Dabi, pulling away from the wall as he sets you back down on your feet. "That's one way to put it."
"Sorry, (Y/n)." says Hawks, but nothing in his voice actually makes you believe that he feels any semblance of guilt. "You'll figure it out soon."
Will you? Just how long have they know each other and been working together like this? There are too many pieces to this puzzle.
"Are you going to be joining us, Hawks?" wonders Dabi, bringing you flush against his chest as you feel the hardness of his cock on your thigh.
The hero in question hums to himself, "I'm considering it. You started without me after all..."
"I couldn't help it." Dabi's eyes flick back to you, a sly smirk forming over his features. "Why don't you ask (Y/n) for her opinion?"
You feel a rush of heat coil in your chest when he says your name. It tightens the more you stare into the bright blue of his eyes.
Hawks circles around you, slowly and steadily like a... well, hawk, and settles his hands at your hips as he noses at your jaw. "How about it?" rumbles Hawks, "Do you want me too?"
You find yourself nodding despite every brain cell in your body screaming otherwise. You'd be lying if you said you'd never thought about Hawks that way.
Until now, you'd always thought that he was capable, suave, sexy and a trustworthy dude–and everything except the last point still stands. You may not be able to trust him anymore but that doesn't mean you still can't want him to fuck you.
Your quick response has Hawks chuckling against your skin, the smooth sound causing a storm to brew inside of you. "Narcissist." He teases.
He's called you a before that before during TV interviews when you compliment your own good work before you do his. The context is wildly different now, though, but the familiarity is bruising.
"Maybe I am." You say, biting your tongue when he squeezes a handful of your ass. His skin is cold, a stark difference from the heat of Dabi's fingers.
"Haven't you been cruel enough, Dabi? Poor thing can barely see." says Hawks dryly.
"Huh, I never took you for the benevolent type." says Dabi, his palms finding the swell of your breasts. He brushes his thumb against one hardened nipple and your breath hitches in your throat.
"Benevolent? No, no." chuckles Hawks, "Don't get me twisted up for some sorta holier than thou hero."
God, just what the fuck is going on? How long has Hawks been two-timing the entirety of Japan?
"Okay, (Y/n)..." purrs the black-haired man. "I'll give you a choice. Handcuffs or the lights?"
Fuck. You'd really prefer to lose both. Your arms are aching but so are your eyes and a migraine is well on its way – "Lights." You say through gritted teeth, hoping that this decision was for the best.
A feather from Hawks' elaborate wings shoot out and destroy the light fixture overhead. You brace yourself for the rain of tiny glass shards but it never comes. More of his feathers have begun to sweep away the projectiles before they can even land.
The only reason you can tell is because the darkness engulfing the three of you finally enables you to see clearly. The true powers of Nocturne, laid bare and in the open.
It feels like you can get your bearings at last.
"Dabi, babe, you don't need the knife. There's a zipper right here." exhales Hawks, finding the zip on your side that can unravel your costume in an instant.
The pet name he has for Dabi draws a perplexed tick to your brow and the fact that Dabi doesn't protest the nickname makes it grow tenfold.
You hadn't even noticed the flamed villain toting a small hunting knife until it comes up in conversation. He tosses it aside and it clatters to the ground nearby. God, who knew what other weapons he has on him.
Hawks prods the zipper on your back and begins to zip it down slowly and tantalizingly. The costume pools at your feet, followed shortly behind by your panties as Hawks hooks his fingers at the waistband and tears it off.
The frigid midnight air sparks a layer of goosebumps along your arms and legs. You suppress a shiver, not yet sure whether it is the cause of the temperature or your own heady anticipation.
Dabi moves closer and sinks one digit into your heat, his fingers calloused but warm, jarring enough to make you jolt. He nudges your legs apart, just enough to press one more finger in and – fuck.
His thumb circles your clit and your knees suddenly feel like buckling. Without him and Hawks caging you between them, you know your legs would have given out by now.
"You're so fucking wet." coos Dabi, "I bet you'd be able to take both of us at once."
You shake your head instinctively, the mere idea outlandish to you. The amount of preparation that would need to go into that sort of thing... Astronomical.
"Let's save that for next time." chuckles Hawks, reaching over to palm your breasts. You have to wonder if he's trying to save you or just acting on his own merits.
Something about his flawless movements coupled with the processing of his words still sends a wave of dizziness down your back.
But still, next time? Was there really going to be a next time? You've barely made it through this round alive and you aren't done yet.
(The fact that you're even entertaining the idea is bad enough as it is. Fuck.)
You let your head fall back against Hawks' shoulder as Dabi twists his fingers, hitting the spot that will inevitably lead to your orgasm. God, you're so close already and nothing's even happened yet.
You arch your back and Hawks claims your half-parted lips in a searing kiss, distracting you from the pressure of Dabi sinking another finger into your pussy.
Three. You're up to three right now and it still feels like you can take another. You can feel your climax coming. It's so close you can taste it on your tongue, a saccharine sweetness that leaves spots in your vision as you try to ride it out.
"Hey. Any more and she'll come before we do." comments Hawks wryly. "Dabi."
The black-haired man sighs lazily and reluctantly slides his fingers out of you, stealing your deserved climax with it. The foreign feeling of emptiness draws an uncharacteristic whine from the back of your throat. Dabi meets your gaze as he licks your wetness from his fingers, slow and sweet as he taunts you.
"I'm losing my patience." complains Hawks, placing a firm hand on your waist as he bends you forward. The impact sends your nose into Dabi's chest and you cannot even right yourself since your hands are still restrained.
You hear the smooth unbuckling of Hawks' belt and brace yourself as his cock slides between your thighs, brushing against your overstimulated clit and dragging out another cry from your lips.
His nails carve indents in your hips as he thrusts into you seamlessly with all the purpose of a self-righteous asshole. He rolls his hips and a low moan of satisfaction leaves his mouth.
Dabi grabs your jaw, forcing his thumb past the boundary of your lip as he leaves the taste of your own pussy on your tongue. "Have you ever sucked cock before?" He asks, his voice low and husky.
"She's a fast learner." says Hawks in your stead. Any words you think you can imagine are swallowed up by a keen of pleasure as his palm strikes your ass.
Hawks takes his time with every thrust; sheathing himself all the way into your heat until you feel his abdomen against your back, and then he pulls all the way back before ramming into you again.
He leaves you feeling so fucking full but the pace is slovenly and it makes you want to tear your hair (or his) out in frustration.
"Open." says Dabi curtly. You turn your attention back towards him and find him stroking his cock to full length with one hand, his thumb still on your bottom lip with the other.
You part your lips and take his weeping slit into your mouth. If you had access to your hands, this would be much easier because relying on the strength of your jaw is time-consuming. You twirl your tongue along his shaft as you try to attune yourself to his size.
He's not enormous by any means, but the position of your body makes it hard for you to fully appreciate the length of his dick. "Fuck," He groans, canting his hips as he presses deeper into your mouth.
With each bob of your head, you take more of him into your mouth, humming around his cock. He cards his hands through your hair and guides you along his dick.
Hawks on the other hand, has upped the ante a little bit more. His hands shift from your hips to your stomach as he drives into you erratically, his hands flexing around the curve of your ass. "I'm close." He says over a groan. "Fuck, (Y/n)."
Me too, you think as your breath comes to stuttered halts in your chest. You're so fucking close, you can feel it again. You drag the flat of your tongue along Dabi's cock and feel him twitch in your mouth.
Every inch of your body feels like it might break down as a cool shiver wracks your spine. Your self-restraint gives one final shout and surrenders as soon as Hawks presses down on your clit, his last thrust powerful and fulfilling.
You don't know who you comes first but your orgasm hits you with such tremendous force that it causes tears to spill down your cheeks, mixing with the salt of Dabi's seed as he finishes in your mouth.
Hawks reaches the precipice of his orgasm last, pulling out of you just in time to coat the surface of your back with his cum. The sensation is uncomfortable but you're too exhausted to worry.
Your legs finally give out and you sink to your knees, finding that Dabi has caught you under your arms before you could hit the ground. He pets your hair with sickening sweetness and you feel his heartbeat, frantic but steadily decreasing speed.
"You okay?" breathes Hawks, picking up what remains of your clothes. "You held up pretty well."
"I'm–" Your voice is ragged and hoarse and your throat hurts more than you'd like to admit. "Can you please get these cuffs off now?"
Hawks sends another feather to the restraints around your wrists and the sharp edge singes it off. You still don't know how the fuck his quirk works but you aren't complaining. Being able to use your hands feels like freedom at last.
"Now that we've met all your demands, Princess." says Dabi thoughtfully as your vision suddenly tilts. You find yourself against the floor flat on your back, with him straddling your hips teasingly. "How about a second round?"
They'd made a fatal mistake freeing your arms while also leaving you perfectly in your element (the dark).
You scoff and kick your leg out, knocking the wind out of Dabi as you roll him over onto his back, hand splayed out around his throat. "On one condition." You say, lips pulling into a grin. "I'm on top."
Dabi, to his credit is unpertubed, his breath a mere wheeze as he stares up at you. "I like her." He says to Hawks, eyes glimmering with mischief. "Should we?"
"Oh, I can go all night." Hawks retorts, dropping to his knees beside you. "Question is... can you?"
"...Try me." You say, your voice perfectly level and controlled as you fight the smirk that threatens to form over your face.
You're walking a thin line between your own morals and needless self-indulgence. But you don't mind seeing where this takes you.
160 notes · View notes
feistyvirghoe · 1 month
Text
i feel like as a reader myself, we shouldn’t let our personal biases interfere with the reading we’re giving. like everyone is different dude, no one is perfect and we’re all flawed bro, let people be…
idk why but there’s this like spiritual narcissism going on, and i’ve noticed it this year, people who have more experience in this field acting as if they’re better than people bc they “know” more like girl if you don’t stfu 💀
like people seem like they just want to lecture people nowadays, and i’m not trying to come off as “sensitive” but it’s not “tough love” it’s literally you lecturing people and making it seem as if there’s something wrong w that group, these readings are general and for so many people, can we calm down w this
and i feel like we need to realize that we are all on different timelines fr, ive just noticed some readings are just like jabs instead of you trying to help your audience, you’re like ridiculing them instead of giving helpful advice… i mean do you but why so rude and crass, apathetic???
because you can be reading for someone and tapping into their past self and what happened and then you go off of that and start shitting on them, but of course how would you know?? i just feel like we need more compassion in this community, it’s gotten too fucking rigid and inflexible…which is sad
i’m all for real and raw fucking readings, in depth ones too i love long readings but i wish some of yall were more kind about it, i understand this being serious, it is, shit is no joke, but what’s up w this secret animosity, competition, thinking your way should be the only way to do things, like who fucking cares bro?
idk i feel like we like to judge shit as soon as it comes our way and have these intense opinions, ready to pop off at the mouth…maybe i’m too “nice” “naive” whatever, im just sick of seeing these washed up debates on who should be doing what and how they should be doing it…
is everyone okay??? i don’t think so, a lot of hurt people, and we unironically project, let’s not you know. it’s okay to be kind, honest and respectful.
if you don’t like it, that’s okay, no need to be so fucking rude, esp when you don’t even know these people…just move on and scroll, i feel like we’re doing ourselves dirty by engaging with triggering topics and making ourselves angry, ive been doing it and then i came to the realization that i don’t have to take that reading as if it’s really set in stone
don’t let nobody, not even me, try and make u feel like that’s the end all be all, no no no, i am just a messenger, a guide, you have to think for yourself…don’t beat yourself up over a reading, ive done it and realized “kaali, this isn’t the end” “you can grow and heal from this” “i will be okay, this is helping me to learn more and take a better understanding approach.”
i just don’t want people thinking that everything is set in stone, the story always changes and blossoms into something more than what you’re seeing on the surface. these aren’t personal readings so don’t hurt your pretty lil head worrying about this or that, if it applies to you let it and if it doesn’t don’t force the message okay, use your discernment mwah💓
114 notes · View notes
youremyheaven · 5 months
Text
The Strictness of Saturn: Giga Chads, Scammers & Spiritual Gurus
Lately, I have been contemplating the energies of Saturn and how it manifests in men and it brought me to the realization that Saturnian men are the type of men that other men idolize and look up to. There are always certain male celebrities that other men fawn over but women dgaf about and they usually tend to be Saturnian as well. Why do men worship Saturnian men? For starters, the world we live is a deeply Saturnian one, with law and order, systems and regulations and structure. The general narrative is that in order to be successful in life, you have to "hustle and grind" and work hard and that you'll be rewarded for it. This is essentially the theme of Saturn. Saturn is also a masculine planet and a malefic. We live in a capitalist society where the working culture is designed with men in mind. Be it the 9 to 5 or the culture of conquest and domination (in business, politics, colonization etc) are all aggressively yang. You do all of it to make more profit to buy/accumulate more stuff, this is a deeply patriarchal worldview because yang energy is one that is fixated on "accumulation". Therefore to thrive in this world, its important to have a strong Saturn and the kind of people who thrive in this set up, aka men, look up to and admire other men who exemplify such Saturnian qualities.
I'm going to start with the most notorious example of this Saturn worship by men
Tumblr media
Andrew Tate, Anuradha Sun & Moon
Tate's brand of hyper-toxic masculinity and his "hustler university" is so wildly misogynistic it's insane. Yet it appeals to many men.
In one video, Tate describes how he would deal with a woman who accused him of cheating: “It’s bang out the machete, boom in her face and grip her by the neck. Shut up bitch.” He’s argued that women are a man’s property, shouldn’t drive, and shouldn’t leave the home if they’re in a relationship. He claims only to date 18 and 19 year olds as it’s easier to “imprint” on them, and in a now deleted YouTube video, Tate claimed that “about 40 per cent” of the reason he moved to Romania is that he believed police in Eastern Europe would be less likely to pursue rape allegations.
Tate seems to represent the lifestyle that most men dream of (wealthy) and he presents himself as ultra masculine/alpha like which is every man's dream but the thing is extreme behaviour of any sort comes across like that person is overcompensating for something.
Machoism and machismo are what men use to signal to other men that they're not to be messed with. Its a very primitive display of behaviour that probably goes back to the cave men era where men had to rely on physical strength and brute force to survive. But no man who is actually secure in himself will feel the need to aggressively display his "masculinity" by spewing absolutely vile hateful nonsense against women or other people. Toxic masculinity is rooted in narcissism and self centeredness; these men want to be the best among men (more rich, more powerful, get more girls etc). Its a gross by product of male insecurity because truth be told men grossly overestimate the standards women have for their romantic partners.
they seem to have a scarcity mindset about how no women would want to be with a deadbeat ugly loser (i mean, duh) but believing that every single woman would only date 6’4” dudes with 12 abs and rolexes isn't true either. majority of heterosexual relationships feature a gorgeous girl with a guy who looks like a gnome. many women date absolutely hideous men who are broke just because they have sweet personalities and are nice to be around.
but male insecurity leads to incel behaviour because they believe that the reason women dont go for them is because they're ugly or broke when usually the reason women dont go for them is because theyre an asshole. by blaming women for not sleeping with them or dating them, they get to conveniently shift attention from the fact that they have absolutely nothing to offer and also, women dont owe charity sex to lame, rude, broke, ugly men?
men underestimate just how much personality matters. and by pretending that being the "alpha" will get them women, they're feeding their own masculine egos because women literally just want a guy who is sweet, texts them back regularly, listens to them and isn't a complete asshole. you never hear a woman talk about being into "alphas". its literally just a male fantasy that is completely severed from what real people are like or what real people want. its like how men believe the "Cool Girl" exists, they write female characters to be quirky, nerdy but above all hot and constantly feeding their male ego, they also write male characters to be macho, alpha, dominating other men and women because they want to be like these men.
anyways lol went off on a tangent (me with every post)
Saturn is considered a malefic not because of how it represents "karma" or "discipline" its because Saturn overdoes the strictness, commitment and discipline and "hard work" associated with it. You may work hard but you can't always tell if you're working hard enough or why your hard work isn't translating to results/rewards. That is the energy of Saturn. You overdo things and go beyond the extra mile. This may sound like a good thing because we live in a world that values these traits but it can manifest in many unpleasant ways bc pushing yourself that hard means risking burnout out and it's actually unhealthy to swing into such extremes? You can live a good life without living like a monk or a soldier which is what a lot of hustle/self-improvement coaches advocate for. This is a negative manifestation of Saturn; believing that deprivation, scarcity and harshness are the only way to get things done or that "tough love" is the answer.
Tumblr media
Hunter Moore has a Saturn stellium (Mercury & Venus in UBP and Saturn in Anuradha)
He was a predecessor to Andrew Tate who posted intimate photos (some acquired through hacking, and many nonconsensually submitted) of women with their Facebook details on IsAnyoneUp.com (he's a convicted criminal)
He's an early example of a toxic masculine internet influencer who spewed misogyny and was worshiped by many dudebros.
Solar men may be Chads who just want to hang out with other men but they are NOT like these Saturnians. If we're going to think of Sun as the most masculine or "yang" planet, it also means they're masculine to the point of being almost feminine, if that makes sense? The qualities of preferring other male company, valuing male friendships and wishing to keep women at an arm's length (under the guise of "independence" or "non-attachment") are similar to behaviours shown by women described as a "girls girl". Solar people of either gender have a very welcoming, positive energy but they're often virtually sexless. (there are exceptions to everything ofc) but these are not people known for being highly sexually desirable. They're likable and have qualities/traits that make them "wanted" but Solar energy is too self-centered to be sexually appealing. Sun is the centre of our solar system, it's used to being the source of light and does not have the same need to achieve things the way Saturnians do for whom accomplishment has its origins in insecurity and the desire to overcompensate for what they lack. Solar ambition is rooted in their belief that they're the best and deserve to be at the top of the world and refusal to settle for anything less. Those are two very different approaches.
Tom Hardy, Uttaraphalguni Sun, Chitra Moon once said:
“A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it,” Hardy confessed. “I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”
Tbh this could be a generalization but I feel like I have seldom seen Solar men present themselves as mega alpha hypermasculine figures. They are often perceived that way but they're not personally like that. They're more boyish, more youthful than aggressively "manly". They actually represent a more indulgent "frat boy" type of masculinity than the alpha male ideal presented by many Saturn men.
I'll cite some examples of famous men who are popular among men and not so much among women
Tumblr media
Jason Momoa- Pushya Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Venus)
Men love to talk about him like he's a God or something because he represents the kind of masculinity that other men want to embody. 6'5 bulky beefcake build and has this uber-masculine personality.
Like all Saturnian men, he's also known for making crass, tasteless remarks like the time he said at ComicCon:
“But as far as sci-fi and fantasy, I love that genre because there are so many things you can do, like rip someone’s tongue out of their throat and get away with it and rape beautiful women"
In 2011 during an interview he said:
"Yeah, I’m raping Emilia [Clarke]” he said. “I love her, but I’m hurting her and she’s crying. We could have made it longer, but you get the idea. I’m not a rapist. I prefer my women to enjoy sex.”
All of these statements reek of the smug asshole Saturn alpha-chad vibes like he really thought he did something by saying it. You just know that he was saying it for other men to laugh to🤢🤮🤮
Saturnian men lack social grace and manners and are literal troglodytes
Tumblr media
Sam Levinson- Pushya Moon
everything he has ever made is SO male gaze-y, be it Euphoria or The Idol. he literally makes torture porn and all his female characters are treated like shit with absolute shitheads written as the male protagonist
The Idol portrays an absolutely vile toxic relationship where the woman is literally treated like scum. He sidelined his female collaborator on The Idol and reworked the show to suit his shitty male gaze. The show Euphoria was also stolen from photographer Petra Collins' aesthetic. Here's what she said:
Tumblr media
he's also just known for being an asshole in general. several female cast members on euphoria asked Sam if they could cut down on the nudity (first of all, i think making a highschool drama, casting grown adults and getting away with depicting gratuitous sex scenes is fucked up on its own)
Sydney Sweeney had said:
“There are moments where Cassie was supposed to be shirtless and I would tell Sam, ‘I don't really think that's necessary here,’” she told the Independent. “He was like, ‘OK, we don't need it.’”
Tumblr media
Jason Statham- Pushya Sun, UBP Moon
Jason is another example of a man who is idolized by men. He's known for playing menacing tough guys in action movies who are sometimes complete psychopaths and has the brooding toxic violent masculinity that men get off to.
Tumblr media
Tom Brady, UBP Moon
He is another male celebrity whom men fawn over.
Tumblr media
Chris Evans, Anuradha Rising
Chris is arguably more popular among men than he is among women. He's too plain and boring to appeal to the female gaze truth be told.
Tumblr media
DJ Khaled, Anuradha Sun conjunct Mercury (and Saturn in Pushya)
DJ Khaled is in general known for being an obnoxious, egotistical, pompous asshole further confirming the rumours about how self-obsessed, vain, downright delusional and mannerless Saturnian men are.
In 2014, DJ Khaled revealed in an interview that he never performs oral sex on women. The full quote goes like this:
"It's certain things I just don't do. I believe a woman should praise the man, the King." "If you holding it down for your woman, I feel like the woman should praise and the man should praise the Queen," he continued. "But, you know, my way of praising is called, 'How was dinner? You like the house you living in? You like all them clothes you getting? I'm taking care of your family, I'm taking care of my family"
When host Angela Yee asked Khaled if he "goes down" on his longtime girlfriend, he replied, "Nah, never. Nah, I can't do that. Hell nah...I can't do that. I don't do that."
Yee asked Khaled if he would be okay with his girlfriend not giving him oral sex, to which he said, "Nah, it's not okay. You gotta understand I'm the Don, I'm the King."
She told Khaled she doesn't think the double standard is fair. Khaled said, "It's different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the King. There are some things that you guys might not wanna do or wanna do. It gotta get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't," he added.
This literally sums up how Saturnian men see themselves versus how they see women.
Tumblr media
Logan Paul, UBP Sun & Mercury
In 2017 Paul was accused of sexist behaviour with the release of his song "No Handlebars." The track, which samples 2008's "Handlebars" by Flobots, changes the original song's lyrics from "I can ride my bike with no handlebars," to "I can ride your girl with no handlebars." The video shows Paul mounting three women who have positioned themselves to act as a bicycle. This wasn't the first time Paul was accused of sexist behavior, famously releasing a now-deleted Vine with controversial Vine star Sam Pepper in which the pair lassoed women as a way of courting them.
In 2018, in one of the first videos back from his infamous post-Suicide Forest hiatus, Paul can be seen lifting a live koi fish out of water and moving it like a toy boat, as well as tasing dead rats. 
In January 2023, fans were outraged when Paul's former pet pig, Pearl, was found abandoned and injured in a field by the nonprofit The Gentle Barn. In the past, he had put his Pomeranian in seemingly stressful situations for YouTube videos, like introducing him to an actual tiger and putting him in a bucket to zipline him off the roof.
In fact, animal abuse/cruelty seems to be a recurring theme with many Saturnians, both men and women. I think so many Saturnians are notorious for abusing animals because their desire for domination and control manifests most through people who cannot fight back. Obviously being abusive to women and expressing desire to subjugate them is another extension of this Saturnian tendency but it is very telling how a Saturnian can and will dominate, control and abuse absolutely every living being they come across.
Tumblr media
many years ago, Kim Kardashian, UBP Moon went viral for holding a cat like a toy and many people said it was abusive behaviour
Tumblr media
Kristi Noem, Anuradha Sun, Ketu in Pushya
She recently came under fire for revealing in her memoir how she shot and killed her dog who was difficult to train along with her goat who she hated? Idk how callous you have to be to describe in detail (her exact words and excerpts from the book are available online, I dont feel like repeating it here) how you murdered your pets?? idk how insane you have to be to even publicly admit something like that??
Tumblr media
Paris Hilton- Pushya Moon conjunct Rahu
Paris is notorious for how she prefers teacup sized dogs and for anybody who does not know, when animals are specially bred to be an unnaturally small size (bc people think small dogs are "cute") they really struggle with their health a lot bc their bodies are too small to hold all their organs and they struggle with respiratory issues along with being more susceptible to diseases and having weaker immunity. Breeding dogs is absolutely inhumane and cruel. imagine saying you want a cute tiny dog when being that small means that dog lives a much shorter life and a much more arduous one as well?
But Paris isn't just guilty of this but is notorious for neglecting her pets. Los Angeles Animal Services finally interfered after rumours that staff had found a dead puppy in one of Paris’ closets. This was one of Paris’ ways of handling dogs when she got annoyed: lock them away in a different area of the house and then forget about them.
After her documentary came about, many have also accused Paris of being a neglectful mother. Her own sister, Nicky Hilton once said that Paris was too selfish to be a mother and unfortunately 😬it sort of looks like its true? Paris basically left her newborn baby with his nannies and complained about having to "work a lot" when the truth is she's a multimillionaire who can afford to take time off to bond with her newborn?? she treats her babies like props to pose with. if you watch the show you'll know what I mean. her whole attitude and demeanour made it seem like she did not gaf about her kid. She also very callously said she was doing egg retrieval over and over because she wanted a girl and kept getting boys?? idk what happened to the other embryos but its a bit icky to admit that you kind of have a designer baby? On the show, her son was supposed to get circumcised and she says she doesn’t want to be there because it’s too painful for her. How painful is it going to be for your baby?!
On the same show, she also said casually that five of her dogs got ate by coyotes on different occasions? and she cloned two of her deceased dogs??
Tumblr media
Shane Dawson, Pushya Sun, Mars in UBP
Shane is a sociopathic asshole in general but in 2015 on a podcast, he, in very graphic detail, explained how he inserted his penis into his cat and then ejaculated onto it as well. His exact words were, "One time I laid my cat down on her back...I moved her little chicken legs spread open or whatever," "I came all over the cat. It was like my first sexual experience...I was also like 19." After this was brought back up in March 2019, he then tweeted saying “I didn’t fuck my cat. I didn’t cum on my cat. I didn’t put my dick anywhere near my cat. I’ve never done anything weird with my cats.” 🤮🤢🤮🤢
Tumblr media
Mitt Romney, Anuradha Moon, Jupiter & Ketu
He infamously tied his pet dog in a kennel to the roof of his car for a cross-country trip.
Tumblr media
Ted Bundy, Anuradha Sun
Serial killers usually abuse animals as children and there have been studies that link animal cruelty to future psychopathic behaviour. Ted used to abuse the neighbourhood dogs. He shot one neighbour's dog because according to him, the dog was an "evil force" that compelled him to kill. Bundy used to watch as his own father tortured animals.
Tumblr media
Angelina Jolie, Pushya Rising
I used to suspect her of being Punarvasu Rising but I came across a 90s interview where she admits to abusing her pets which makes me think she is indeed Pushya Rising lol
"I had a dog and I ended up beating him, and he got sick and... I've hurt so many—I am just not a good animal person... I had a rabbit that died, too... a cage fell on him..."That happened when she was six. But then I had a hamster... I took him in the shower. He died of pneumonia. I had a bunch of little lizards. My friend left them in the sun, and I came back and they were just... my snake, I tried to kill."
Another thing I've noticed with Saturnian men is how they usually scam their way to the top? Deceit, duplicity, being a con artist and a scammer are also common among Saturnian men (Andrew Tate included). They have vv right wing views, especially regarding women and they're also entirely dishonest?
Tumblr media
Lance Armstrong, Jupiter in Anuradha in 1h
He was stripped of his tour de france titles after it was revealed that he used performance-enhancing drugs and cheated on his doping tests??
Tumblr media
Emily Ratajkowski, UBP Moon & Pushya Stellium (Venus, Mars & Jupiter)
Her bikini wear brand Inamorata has come under fire for not shipping any of their orders?? last year lol. Her brand has also been criticized for selling poor quality bikinis that are tacky and garish
Tumblr media
Jennifer Lopez, Pushya Sun, Mercury & Rising
Apart from the fact that J Lo does not sing her own songs and has essentially scammed her way to the top, her numerous business ventures over the years including her Sephora skincare line, Kohl's clothing line etc have all been absolutely horrible, even her perfumes are apparently terrible lol
Tumblr media
Anna Delvey has Jupiter & Ketu in Pushya
She is an infamous con artist and fraudster who posed as a wealthy heiress to access upper-class New York social and art scenes from 2013 to 2017. 
Back to the theme of Saturnians being abusive, here are some more examples:
Tumblr media
Colleen Ballinger, Anuradha Sun
She was accused of grooming her underage fans and being creepy to them and she responded to that with a ukulele song? Her ex-husband reacted to the weird apology saying "This behaviour was my reality anytime I spoke up & disagreed with her actions & rhetoric during 2009-2016. I was gaslit too. I was made to feel like I was always the problem. Any pain I felt was an inconvenience and was belittled. Every ounce of what you’re feeling, I understand."
As someone who used to watch them in the early 2010s (I feel super old) I know for a fact that Colleen was a major asshole to Josh (her ex husband) and always acted like, since she was more successful than him, she had the "upper hand". She's a toxic narcissist and I hated the way she treated all the people in her life like they're all her glorified assistants or something ugh
Tumblr media
David Dobrik, Pushya Sun, Saturn in UBP
If you've watched any of his content, you do know that he uses people around him for "vlog content" and often does really crass, distasteful, offensive, weird, inappropriate shit to his friends for clout? he was rightfully accused of setting up the stage for one of his friends to sexually abuse a minor
Tumblr media
Russell Brand, UBP Moon
He has been accused or rape, sexual assault and emotional abuse by 4 women
He's like the spiritual hippie avatar of a toxic alpha chad and he used to be heavily involved in the Ra Ma Yoga place that was essentially a cult
Tumblr media
Haile Selassie, Anuradha Moon
This is a more extreme example of men (and women) worshipping a Saturn man, in this case quite literally. Haile Selassie was the emperor of Ethiopia. In the 1930s when he initially became emperor, Rastafarianism emerged in Jamaica and Rastafaris believed that Haile was the second coming of Christ and is perceived as a prophet.
Tumblr media
Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Anuradha Stellium (Sun, Mercury, Venus & Saturn)
Sai Baba was a guru who was revered by his followers and literally thought of as God. however, he was embroiled in several scandals in his lifetime including child molestation. Its really hard to dig up info about Indian gurus because they started doing their stuff in the pre-internet era and because its really easy to get away with virtually any kind of abuse under the guise of religion and spirituality in India.
Another guru with major Saturnian energy was Anandamayi Ma who had UBP Rising.
There will be a part 2, where I'll explore more about Saturnian energies and how it manifests in women etc<3 But I hope this post was interesting <3
218 notes · View notes