#Most would choose Dazai anyway

[with-my-calamitous-love]

I CHOOSE YOU AND ME, RELIGIOUSLY

osamu dazai x reader

thoughts about how dazai would treat you

same premise as the chuuya + atsushi ver

inspired by guilty as sin

osamu dazai, who doesn’t really know how to love. you confuse him and challenge the equations in his head. who is a mystery to everyone, even himself. who is sure that nothing will fill his heart. who is easy to approach, but hard to love.

osamu dazai, who wonders if he’s allowed to cry. if he’s allowed to show any real emotion behind the walls and bandages he’s put up. who wonders if he- an absolute vile monster of a man- is allowed to love you. who wonders if he deserves anything more than death for what he’s done, for the demon he still thinks he is.

osamu dazai, who still tries to be a good man. who takes the words of his former friend to heart. who wonders when he’ll deserve to love. who wonders when he’s considered good enough to love you. who is usually so smart, so calculated, and so thoughtful, and who is at an embarrassing loss for words when it comes to you.

osamu dazai, who decides he’ll bet against the universe once again. who throws his life to the wolves and the ocean rocks if it means getting to hold you. who treats you like gold, whispering words into your ear he would never dare to speak to anyone else. “you’re not my first kiss, my first time, or even my first ‘i love you’ but you are the first person who made living seem possible for me.”

osamu dazai, who prefers to be alone. who knows thats what makes you different, because for the first time ever, he craves your presence. he wants you in his lap while he reads, who actively pulls you towards him when he sleeps, who kisses your knuckles before leaving for a mission, who returns to engulf you in his embrace when he steps into a home. who actually thinks of his apartment as a home when you’re in it.

osamu dazai, who everyone thinks is a womanizer, but is secretly a gentlemen. who knows chivalry like its his first language. who always opens to the door for you, slips his hand around your waist like a puzzle piece, who zips up all your clothes for you, who presses kisses underneath your ear while he’s at it, who reads you poetry, who teases you because he can’t help but love the way you turn pink, who somehow manages to keep the flowers he buys for you alive for longer, who knows everything about you, and who lets you decode his soul.

osamu dazai, who wants you to know him as well as he knows you. who tells you about his past, about his wrongdoings, about odasaku. who swears that the most human he has ever felt was when he was looking at you. who can’t fathom how you’re real. who lets you see whats under his bandages. how his heart swells when you kiss each one.

osamu dazai, who makes chuuya promise him to protect you should anything ever happen to him. who can’t stand the thought of you leaving, even though death was such a common feeling for him in his life. who tells chuuya you’re his everything, and trusts him to look after you. who can’t imagine another man ever loving you, but knows that chuuya is a man of promises, and will not let anyone touch a hair on your head once he’s gone.

osamu dazai, who thinks of you as way to die. who takes one look at you and recalls things that haven’t even happened yet. late nights, messy kisses, promises, families, embraces, heaven, sin, unraveling, scars, loving not despite but because. who’s heart is so full of you he can barely call it his own anymore.

osamu dazai, who thinks that even if its all make belief, and if he’s simply made you up, he’ll uphold his vows anyway. he’ll still come home to you with a kiss to your forehead. he’ll still always give you his jacket when you even slightly shiver. he’ll still read to you his favourite poetry, tell you his secrets and watch how you love him anyway. he thinks that even if you aren’t real, he’ll love you like his favourite storybook.

osamu dazai, who knows the world will crucify him anyway. who knows he’ll likely pay for what he’s done at some point. who knows the universe will catch up to him soon, even though he’s trying to be better. who thinks its okay if he gets what he deserves, even if its death, because he’s already seen heaven just by kissing you. who thinks that way you hold him is spiritually holy, who lets you haunt him stunningly. he vows to find you in another life, one where he can deserve you. a life where he an love you with no limits. who knows he’ll choose you, always.

[ribbonedreverie]

He Won’t Say I Love You

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Osamu Dazai – “Don’t Die Before Me”

Dazai doesn’t say “I love you.”

Dazai’s way of loving is contradictory, elusive, and impossible to pin down. His words are always laced with meaning, but never in the way you’d expect—because he does not speak plainly, not about things that matter. Love is a game to most, but to him, it is a ghost—something he has studied, something he understands deeply, yet something that has always evaded him.

That’s why he won’t say he loves you.

Because love, in its purest form, has never been kind to him. He knows love from the pages of books, from the way poets drown themselves in it, from the way people call it devotion but mean self-destruction. And Dazai is a master of self-destruction.

So instead, he turns love into something abstract. Something for you to decipher, something for you to chase, if you’re willing.

He flirts without effort, spins sweet words with a poet’s cadence, smiles like he’s already figured you out. But if you pay attention, you’ll notice the gaps—the empty spaces between his words, the careful distance he keeps no matter how close he leans. The way he offers everything and nothing at the same time.

He won’t say he loves you.

But you’ll hear it in the way he remembers things he shouldn’t—the way your voice sounds when you’re tired, the exact time the streetlights in your neighborhood flicker on. You’ll see it in the way he steals your pen but always returns it, tucked next to a note written in his elegant, half-mocking script.

You’ll feel it in the way his fingers brush against your wrist just long enough to make you wonder if it was intentional.

You’ll notice it in the way he never lies to you. Not because he is kind, not because he trusts you, but because if you saw through him, if you recognized what he really is, he wonders if you would stay anyway.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you do leave, if you choose to walk away, he will not chase you. He will not beg, will not plead. He will laugh it off, throw some teasing remark over his shoulder, and turn the page as if you were just another fleeting story in his collection.

But late at night, when the city is quiet and the ghosts press in too closely, he will still pour two cups of tea.

“Don’t die before me.”

That’s what he really means.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Chuuya Nakahara – “You already know, don’t you?”

He won’t say he loves you.

Not because he doesn’t want to—he does, more than he’d ever admit—but because love, real love, isn’t something spoken. It’s something you prove.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he proves it in the way he always walks on the outside of the sidewalk, shielding you from passing cars. In the way he places a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through a crowd, steady, present. In the way he always remembers your favorite drink and orders it without asking, as if knowing your preferences is as natural to him as breathing.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he loves like a storm—fierce, untamed, all-consuming. But around you, that fire softens into something warm, something safe.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he will roll his eyes when you forget your scarf but wrap his around you without a second thought. He will complain about your reckless habits but pull you into his arms the second you stumble. He will grumble that you’re a handful, that you make his life harder, but his hands will never let you go.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he loves with his entire being. He will hold you like you’re something precious, something irreplaceable, like he’s terrified that one wrong move will shatter the moment. He will kiss you like it’s a promise, like he’s memorizing the way you fit against him in case fate decides to be cruel.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you are hurt—if you so much as wince in pain, if you ever cry in front of him— he will carry the weight of it himself. He will fight with his teeth bared, his fists clenched, his body a shield between you and the world. Because no one gets to hurt what’s his.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he will never ask you to stay. Not because he doesn’t want you to—but because he wants you to choose him, freely, without hesitation. He doesn’t need declarations, doesn’t need grand confessions—he just needs to know that when he reaches for you, you will be there.

He won’t say he loves you.

But when he stands beside you in a room, offering his hand with a smirk that softens only for you, it’s there in the way he holds you.

He won’t say he loves you.

But when he sleeps better with you tucked beside him, when his hand finds yours even in dreamless nights, when he fights like hell to keep you safe, it’s there in the way he chooses you. Every time.

“You already know, don’t you?”

That’s what he really means.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Ryunosuke Akutagawa – “Don’t die before I can protect you properly.”

He won’t say he loves you.

Not because he doesn’t feel it, but because love is foreign to him, something distant and unreachable, like the stars above the slums he grew up in. It is something delicate, something soft, something he was never meant to hold in his own hands.

He won’t say he loves you.

Because love, to him, has always been synonymous with loss. Everything he has ever cared for has been taken, ripped from his grasp before he even had a chance to understand it. So why would this be any different?

He won’t say he loves you.

But you’ll feel it in the way he teaches you how to fight, how he watches your every movement, memorizing the rhythm of your steps as if preparing to shield you before you even fall. You’ll see it in the way Rashomon hovers near you, shifting subtly, positioning itself between you and danger like an unspoken vow.

He won’t say he loves you.

But when you speak, he listens—truly listens, in a way he never does with anyone else. He absorbs your words like they are gospel, lets them settle deep in his chest, turns them over in his mind long after you’re gone.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you are hurt—if someone dares to lay a hand on you, if you ever bleed because of another, his rage will be instant, merciless. Not because he is angry, but because the sight of you in pain is unbearable in a way he doesn’t have the language to explain.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he will stand beside you in silence, his presence unwavering, his eyes dark with something unspoken. He will never call you strong, but he will only ever respect those who are, and you are the only one he allows close.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you ever left, he would never stop looking for you. He would never say your name out loud, but it would echo in his mind like an unfinished sentence, like a prayer whispered too late.

“Don’t die before I can protect you properly.”

That’s what he really means.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Fyodor Dostoevsky – “You amuse me.”

He won’t say he loves you.

Because love, to him, is a human weakness. A flaw. A crack in the foundation of something that should be unshakable. Love clouds judgment, warps perspective, turns the brilliant into fools—and Fyodor Dostoevsky is no fool.

He won’t say he loves you.

But you are an exception. A variable he did not account for. A contradiction he cannot solve. And that interests him.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he will watch you—not with longing, not with sentimentality, but with the gaze of a man who is used to understanding everything, and yet, somehow, does not understand you. He studies you the way he studies a chessboard, as if you are a piece that does not belong, a move he did not anticipate.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he will never lie to you. Not because he is kind, not because he respects you, but because there is no need to deceive something he already considers his.

He won’t say he loves you.

But his touch, when it comes, is deliberate. He brushes his fingers against yours as he hands you a teacup, lingers just long enough for the contact to mean something—but not long enough for you to be sure. He never calls you by your name when he can call you something softer, something more intimate, something that makes it feel like you are special, even when you know you shouldn’t be.

He won’t say he loves you.

But his affection is in the silences, in the spaces between words, in the moments when he allows you to stand close when he would never tolerate another. He lets you speak your mind, even when he already knows what you will say. He allows you to question him, because he enjoys watching you try to unravel something that cannot be unraveled.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he lets you live. And that, more than anything, should terrify you.

“You amuse me.”

That’s what he really means.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Sigma – “Tell me I’m real.”

He won’t say he loves you.

Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to. He is a man who did not exist until recently, a being with no past, no childhood, no proof that he belongs in this world at all.

He won’t say he loves you.

Because to love means to claim something as your own, and he is still unsure if he is allowed to claim anything. He does not know what he is, where he came from, or what fate has planned for him—but he knows you.

He won’t say he loves you.

But you’ll feel it in the way he always makes sure your favorite things are stocked in the casino, even if you never ask. In the way his hands hesitate before pulling away, as if he wants to hold on just a little longer but fears what it might mean.

He won’t say he loves you.

But you are the only thing that makes him feel real. The only proof he has that he exists as something more than a placeholder in a story someone else wrote.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he will memorize your schedule, not out of control, but out of a quiet longing to be part of your world. He will watch you from the corner of his eye, wondering if he can be someone worth staying for.

He won’t say he loves you.

But when you leave a room, he waits an extra second before breathing again, as if your presence alone steadies him.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you ever tried to leave for good, he would not beg you to stay. Not because he doesn’t want to—but because he fears that if you go, he will forget what it felt like to be wanted at all.

“Tell me I’m real.”

That’s what he really means.

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

Nikolai Gogol – “You’re the only one who makes me stay.”

He won’t say he loves you.

Because love is a chain, and chains were meant to be broken. Love is something that binds, tethers, shackles—and he has spent his whole life cutting himself free.

He won’t say he loves you.

But he lingers longer than he should, just close enough for you to wonder if he means to stay. He calls you his little trick, his favorite act, his most entertaining performance—but the way he watches you when you aren’t looking? That’s not an act.

He won’t say he loves you.

But you’ll feel it in the way his chaos never quite touches you. In the way his games are never at your expense, the way he teases but never cuts too deep, the way he pretends to be fickle but always, always finds his way back to you.

He won’t say he loves you.

But when he speaks of freedom—his one obsession, the thing that drives him, the only thing he has ever truly wanted—you notice he never includes you in the things he wants to leave behind.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you ever tried to run, he would let you. He would laugh, twirl his cane, bow like a gentleman as if bidding farewell to a fleeting amusement. But if you watched closely—if you really knew him—you would notice the hesitation, the half-second of stillness, as if something inside of him had just unraveled.

He won’t say he loves you.

But if you ever truly disappeared, he would burn the world down looking for you, laughing all the while, like it was all just another game.

“You’re the only one who makes me stay.”

That’s what he really means.

[valenteal]

Ok so I know we all wish there was more reaction in canon to the revelation of Dazai’s past. But I think there’s more of a reaction than people realize. It’s like the entire dynamic shifts after the meeting with the mafia. And it’s easy to attribute this to things getting more serious, more dangerous, because no one mentions Dazai being the reason for it. But I think it’s important to understand about these characters that the not saying anything is extremely indicative of their feelings on the matter. I think the tension is mostly glossed over because at the end of the day this is still Atsushi’s story and he’s kinda oblivious to it. But Dazai and Kunikida aren’t really partners after that, their interactions go way down, their banter is no longer a staple of the series. And Dazai wasn’t really close enough with anyone else to see major changes in his relationships with them, but we can guess based on what we do know.

For one thing, anyone thinking Fukuzawa already knew, sorry to burst your bubble but Taneda didn’t tell him jack. In fact Dazai made up a story about randomly meeting him at a bar and Taneda offering to find him a job if he won a bet or something. Dazai lied to Fukuzawa just as much as anyone else, he had elaborate cover stories. Fukuzawa told Kunikida to shoot him if he showed a hint of malicious intent but Dazai managed to worm his way out of that disguising it as his solution to the case/a suicide attempt. He pretended to be the bad guy to put on a show for the people listening in, and create an excuse for the listening device to be destroyed and gave Kunikida enough hints that he’d think twice about actually shooting him and pretended he wanted him to do it. It’s a very masterfully done scheme really, because Kunikida was so wrapped up in how it affected the case that he miss took Dazai’s innocence in the case for a lack of hidden evil. Kunikida definitely saw a side of Dazai that would make the President say “shoot him” but he didn’t even realize it because it was connected to solving the case. And when he lists off all the things he has problems with about Dazai it’s all about his unprofessional behavior and laziness and he doesn’t even mention that Dazai was so incredibly good at playing the bad guy that it didn’t feel fake. He didn’t mention the chilling aura. Dazai distracted him with all his other bad behavior.

But Ranpo must have known right? Well he certainly knew something was off about Dazai immediately after meeting him even without putting his glasses on. But I don’t think even he could have deduced Dazai’s past with the information he had. Because you have to remember that Dazai’s crimes were erased by Mushitaro’s ability and that Ranpo specializes in understanding crime scenes, not psychological profiling. Ranpo uses physical evidence for the most part and he needs knowledge of the crime to find the perpetrator. I don’t think it works the other way around. Not to mention that Fukuzawa trusts Kunikida and Kunikida said Dazai passed his entrance exam so Ranpo probably didn’t choose to look too closely at Dazai.

Anyway, the point is no one at the agency knew Dazai was in the mafia until the Guild arc. And Dazai’s interactions with the rest of the agency changed after that revelation. I think only Atsushi, Kyouka, and Kenji don’t change how they see him, because Atsushi is Atsushi, Kyouka probably already knew from when she captured him and his pep talk made her more comfortable with the idea, and Kenji is Kenji. Everyone else though? It’s a shock. And a lot of them probably just don’t know how to handle it. It helps that they got Kyouka around the same time it was revealed but Dazai had been lying to all their faces for two years at that point and he showed absolutely no remorse for that. Dazai doesn’t make a big deal of it, doesn’t try to make excuses for himself, doesn’t try to justify anything. Without him starting the conversation none of them have a way to comfortably bring up the subject. And because none of them (except Kenji) knows how to communicate in a healthy way, they just end up stewing with the information without fully processing it or acknowledging it. They’re stuck in this limbo of doubt and discomfort. It’s actually incredibly nuanced and I bet it’s all going to come to a head at some point in the near future and it’s going to be that much more satisfying for the wait.

[solemnvelvetangel]

"Everybody wants a piece of you..." - Jealousy head cannons pt. 2

Characters Included: Osamu Dazai, Michizo Tachihara, Nikolai Gogol

Content warning: Mention of a gun in Nikolai's section

When you forget to post on tumblr for almost a year lmao.

___

“It just isn’t fair, what you put in the air. I don’t wanna’ share…”

Osamu Dazai

This man is into you.

Like… really into you.

I strongly believe that once Dazai truly falls for someone, that person will be the only one for him.

He’s had plenty of fleeting romances and flings, but you’re his first serious relationship. His first love. The first person he has ever let in. The first person to still love him despite all of his faults.

Because of that, you’re the light of his life, and he will do anything to keep you.

Despite his goofy and nonchalant demeanor, Dazai is very much a jealous man.

He doesn’t mind someone touching you, as long as it is completely platonic.

He doesn’t mind people being attracted to you. After all, you’re beautiful, of course there would be people who appreciate your looks and personality. Little crushes never hurt anyone, anyway…

However, it’s if they choose to act upon their crush and make advances on you that strikes a nerve with him.

Naturally, Dazai craves closeness with you. If anyone openly threatens the bond that you share, he gets protective.

In other words: he is deeply offended by the sheer audacity of someone coming on to his lover knowing that you’re with him.

Most would tend to think he’s whiny and loud with his jealousy, but he’s the opposite.

He shows his feelings of jealousy so subtly, you almost wouldn’t notice a difference in his demeanor.

Almost…

He’ll purse his lips, crack his knuckles and neck (a nervous habit of his), he’ll shift closer to you, he might interject into the conversation and try to change the subject.

He’ll only say something if you’re clearly uncomfortable or the person is upsetting you somehow.

As much as he’s jealous, he doesn’t want to make it seem like he’s trying to take away your autonomy.

He values your good opinion, and he wants nothing more than for you to feel safe and comfortable.

“I’m sorry if I get protective, need these boys to get the message…”

Michizo Tachihara

Tachihara is naturally protective of people he cares for, but he’s most protective of you.

He’s seen a lot of messed up stuff during his time as a Hunting Dog and being undercover in the Port Mafia, so he has always felt unsafe one way or another.

You were the first person he felt truly safe around.

Because both of his jobs are so demanding, he often fears that you’re unsatisfied with what little time you can spend together.

You best believe that he tries his damn hardest though. He puts a lot of effort into your relationship.

A lot of times he feels that your bond is delicate like a fraying thread, it could snap at any minute.

So when he feels someone is trying to get in between the two of you, they’re immediately on his radar.

Honestly, Tachihara will only notice if someone is interested in you when they’re being upfront and very flirtatious towards you.

Tachihara becomes a guard dog when anyone tries to get too close for his liking.

Typically he will just give dirty looks or throw in a few sassy remarks if someone hits on you in front of him.

If it goes on for a while, Tachihara can and will be aggressive.

His mindset is: “If you keep hitting on my partner, I’ll just take it as an invitation to beat your ass.”

He can and will fight people who disrespect you or your relationship.

“I get reckless, I’m obsessive. I’m pathetic and possessive…”

Nikolai Gogol

Oh, good lord…

This man is obsessed.

How can he not be? You allow him to be himself and let him have his fun.

You’re also the first person he has formed a genuine bond with, so he treasures you like a lost man in a desert treasures an oasis.

He’s very, very attached to you.

He always wants your attention, so anyone who takes up your time is often met with some hostility.

Depending on his mood, he will be passive-aggressive or he will be straight aggressive

He knows that you love him and would never cheat, he just doesn’t trust other people.

He also just doesn't like when your attention is on someone else for long periods of time (he's kind of an attention whore).

He can and will force himself between you and whoever you're talking to that's making him jealous.

“Why, hello! I'm Nikolai, their partner. And who might you be? What's your name?”

He will ask them a lot of questions and have a very unsettling smile on his face while doing so.

This is in hopes that they will get really uncomfortable and walk away.

When it comes to situations like this, he will use his mischief-making tendencies to his advantage.

He will find many ways to inconvenience them.

There's nothing stopping him from opening a portal above their head and dumping a bottle of ginger ale on their head.

Or, depending on how fiercely and shamelessly they were flirting with you, pointing a gun at them.

He's a little trigger happy when it comes to you.

[rae-writes]

hitched (with style)

N.C || gn!reader in a wedding dress || 0.3k || I fucking love him and not in a normal amount <3

Soft waves of pink melted into peaks of purple, further bleeding into the yellows and oranges of the Yokohama sunset. The sky’s painter must have been resting, as the pretty hues stayed that way until darkness took over and stars came out to greet the city. 

The moon was exceptionally bright tonight, making the dress you adorned shine like a pearl. Running through the back streets of your beloved city felt like something you’d read before in one of your romance novels— it was serene and chaotic mixed together into something beautiful. 

Serene because you could stop and feel like royalty with the [much too] expensive accessories and material your outfit consisted of, chaotic because your redheaded husband followed behind you, laughing like a mad man in his equally expensive tailored tux (and his hat, of course). 

He’d demanded nothing but the best for your wedding night, even though it was only a short ceremony in front of the mafia (with the addition of Dazai in the background— you won’t ever let Chuuya live down the sweet fact of inviting him). 

‘Nothing but the best’ meant materials from out of the county, jewelry made with the sparkliest pieces- all freshly cut. He refused to let you glance at the prices; you guessed it was well over in the thousands. Which is exactly why you gawked stupidly as his hand made a small tear in the bottom of your dress. 

“Oops.” Chuuya grinned, using the fabric as leverage to yank you close, not even wincing at the loud ripping sound. “It’s alright, doll, it’ll be on the floor later, anyway.”

“It was expensive! And it’s my dress!” Huffing, you side-eyed him playfully, not denying his kiss when he leans in like a menace.

It’s quick, but no less passionate; a hint of what’s to come. He fights back the urge to chase after your lips once you pull away, and instead directs your attention to his bike. 

“Care for a ride?” 

You were already hiking the skirt of your dress up before he even finished his sentence. It took some time to maneuver yourselves, choosing to sling most of the excess fabric over Chuuya’s lap behind you, but before long you both were zooming down the streets and building walls of Yokohama city, shouting out your love to anyone in the vicinity that would listen.

[inamagicalhallucination]

anytime atsushi gets excited his tail pops out and wags but no one tells him becuz they think its funny to see atsushi try and pretend he's not excited and act nonchalant

atsushi is genuinely surprised and confused how everyone always knows what he wants or wants to do

dazai, kunikida, and atsushi coming back from a mission

kunikida, noticing atsushi looking at an ice cream stall: atsushi do u want ice cream

atsushi: oh i dont care either way! if u and dazai san want to then...

dazai: i dont re-

kunikida and dazai staring at atsushi's wagging tail:

dazai: ooh~ kunikida-kun~ how kind~ to offer us ice cream~

kunikida: as if bastard! i'll buy it for atsushi but ur a grown ass man

dazai: if only i had a tail :(

atsushi: what

dazai: what

atsushi:

//

like that

yosano: how did u choose a gift for atsushi? theres so many things i could get... since he's not used to owning much

ranpo: my genius deductive skills obviously

yosano:

ranpo: okay fine i chose like 10 and mentioned them to him subtly and bought the one he wagged his tail for the most

yosano:

yosano: oh shit u are a genius

ranpo: why r u acting surprised

//

atsushi: cant believe i have to work with you again,,, why do we always have to see each other ugh

akutagawa, staring (like wan staring) at atsushi's wagging tail:

//

bet atsushi never takes time off becuz idk he doesn't think he can - like he knows he can but he also doesn't think he can

that doesn't make sense but i hope u get it

anyway he never requests time off - he's only not there if he's sick (and was bullied into resting) or something like he personally never puts in the request

if there's some festival or event or anything that anyone thinks atsushi would want to go and would go if not for work they let the boss man know

fukuzawa: atsushi, you haven't taken much time off, but it's good to take a break now and then. if you want, you can have monday and tuesday off. (which weirdly is the exact time that that one event u wanted to go to is on but obviously thats just a coincidence)

atsushi, tail wagging: oh that's alright

fukuzawa: i insist.

//

what else hmmmmmmmm

kyouka: atsushi, do you want me to make that dish again? you liked it right?

atsushi: oh i did! but you dont have to if you dont want to! i mean if you do you totally can

kyouka, staring at his tail: i'll make it

//

junichiro, after coming back from a longer mission:

atsushi: heyyy we didn't see each other all day!

junichiro, trying not to show how touched he is becuz atsushi's tail is wagging, showing how happy he is:

and so on

[evelynwinters1]

Yan!BSD character imagines + Yan!Fyodor oneshot at end

Dazai:

I can imagine a scene from Heathers, but instead of him finding you hanging and choosing to blow up the school only to see you alive, he would most likely abduct you and blow up the house he keeps you in with him and his delusional obsession.

Jouno:

Just give up. You are never getting out. He would find reasons to skip work if he has to. (It wouldn't matter how petty the reason) He would go lengths farther than the sun to simply stay in your presence. I can see him in an entirely different room (probably across the house even) eavesdropping on you whispering your plan of escape to yourself. How amusing.

Ranpo:

Another one you should give up escaping from. He has already deduced your plan of escape whenever and however you try to do it. He also knows where you will go if you do manage to escape and is waiting for you when you get there. I can see the reader/ yn trying to buy their escape by bribing ranpo with sweets and snacks at first, but he already seen through this method a while ago and went to go refill his stash. (Most definitely got you anything you may need with it)

P.s. I am still laughing at the thought of the cashiers face when he gets a mountain of snacks and pads/tampons and/or condoms. Shooketh!

Atsushi:

Would make sure you never suspected anything. This lovable idiot would turn full paranoid phsycopath and back again depending on if you were around or not. I can imagine him two-facing you and the detective agency. The agency sees his obsessive paranoia while you see his clingy side.

Chuuya:

Would definitely keep the anger issues (Yes. Even around you.) The main difference would be the direction of what he's angry at. The mafia - as usual. You - trying to escape. I can see a moment when you do escape, after seeing him activate his gift, you would be so terrified to leave him ever again. The sheer amount of strength it would take to not rip you in half with his gift would be immense. Very possessive. Chihuahua.

Mori:

(Now hear me out, I know that a lot of people would rather see him dead. But . . . . Yes.)

More platonic than the others, but equally as obsessive. Would make a secret room off of his main office that only him and Elise would ever know about. No one is to deliver food to you no matter how trusted the individual is. No one is to visit you other than him and Elise. No one will hear about you, let alone see you. Your very existence is hidden from everyone but Mori and Elise. I can see him putting motion sensors in front of the door to his office that notifies him when someone is near (like a ring doorbell but without the camera. He doesn't need it 'cuz no one will know about you anyway.)

Nikolai:

Would definitely have something I like to call the "house of mirrors" complex. Everything that happens to you is simply your fault. But it's completely okay because look how beautiful and special you are! Would convince you that you wanted it.

You wanted him to kidnap you, why else would you make yourself look so vulnerable? You wanted to be punished, why else would you try to leave him?

That kind of thing. A ton of gaslighting. Punish, pretend, praise, repeat.

His perfect doll.

Sigma:

Let's be honest, even as a yandere, he is still a cinnamon roll. Sure, he'll kidnap you, lock you in a room with plenty of space and light (only he would have the key), and put a chain around your ankle that the other end was bolted to the floor. But you would have a walk-in closet, a full bathroom with any necessity you could dream of, a king-sized bed (possibly a large vanity), a desk always stocked, and him.

He would give you meals that he had prepared and cooked personally. He would be at your every beck and call. It didn't matter what you needed, as long as he deemed it safe for you to have, he'd give it to you. Anything from around the world. The price didn't matter, you did.

Edgar:

His muse. Everything about you, whether it be physical or not, was enchanting to him. Even Ranpoe got jealous of his attention being on you. After all, he almost completely gave up contesting with his so-called rival. A good portion of his poems were based on his muse. He didn't need to kidnap you per sé, you waltzed in yourself. Exited that you finally tracked down your favorite author for nothing more than an autograph. (One would almost think you were the stalker)

His shyness and anxiety were key factors of him nearly panicking when he first met you. In time, however, he warmed up to you. Arguably faster than he would like to admit. You would visit him several times after finding him and try and get to know him.

I can imagine when he finally acknowledged his infatuation with you, he asks you if you could get something out of his room for him, telling you that it's a gift for you and he wants it to be a surprise. When you enter and start looking around for anything that stuck out to you, he closes and locks the door. Karl was also in the room with you to serve as both emotional support and security. But you didn't need to know that.

Fyodor:

!!warning!!: kind of cringe, written in a hurry, stalking, mentions of death, manipulation!!

For those of you who bothered to read this whole thing and reach the end, you are in for a treat. Because yandere fyodor wouldn't be as impatient as the others. Obsessed, yes. But impatient, absolutely not. The final result would collapse if he was.

He loved watching you live your daily life through the miniscule cameras he placed strategically throughout your entire house, car, even where you work. How? He has his ways. Every morale any human has tends to be abandoned when he can show the world their darkest secrets with the click of a button. Your boss was no exception. Living on your own was a pain sometimes. Most cleaning couldn't get done until about a week later because of exhaustion. Most of the time, when you got off of work, you'd simply crash in bed. As much as Fyodor loved watching you sleep, he worried a lot about you. Mainly not eating enough (if at all), and if you did, it was mainly cup noodles, canned food, or the occasional leftovers of food you bought during your break at work. He was going to wait until you nearly reached poverty. To be your savior, and casually press himself into your life and your heart. This method (according to his calculations) took the least effort, but the most time. It also raised the chance of success. When he finally gets to you, he will play innocent. He will tell you that he knew nothing about you but get you your favorites. All to paint himself as the perfect ideal man to you. Your soulmate even.

On a walk with him late at night, you both happen to run into a man you now know as Dazai. You could immediately sence Fyodor tense. He made it seem like you both were simply too focused on each other to see where you two were going and briskly guided you back home. You looked for Dazai wondering why it was fyodor tensed so quick (he never did explain why when you asked him), and you ran into him on your way to the post office where he introduced himself. He seemed a bit quirky but hilarious sometimes. That was until he asked about Fyodor. Without much thought, you told him about the start of a relationship between the two of you and how you met. Dazai looked absolutely shocked, told you about his work, where it is, and invited you to talk about 'the details' of Fyodor's identity. The two of you went your separate ways.

You came home to find it devoid of presence. Fyodor left. Given that it was a bit dark out, though illuminated by a full moons light, you read a book on the window seat in the bedroom with a cup of tea till the early hours of the day when you finished it and realized. Work. You had work in 30 minutes.

Fyodor was watching you through the cameras again. He couldn't help but chuckling at his darling, frantically getting ready for work (only halfway succeeding) after losing track of time reading with the forgotten cup of half drank tea. He found it so adorable that you had gotten so immersed in the book he had given you not long ago. Calming down from his fit of giggles, he got back on track. Elimination. Either Dazai needed to die or his darling needed to disappear. He wasn't going to kill her, no. He was going to erase everything, even hinting at her existence. All except her. He'll deal with the details later. He needed to choose quickly before that devil got any ideas. Neither option was simple. In fact, both are quite tedious in nature. Killing Dazai would risk having to kill the rest of the agency and possibly the port mafia. Getting rid of all but you yourself would mean not only would she have to lose both her job and her house, but possibly her entire family as well. Killing them would be the simplest because it would count as a burglary if the pictures of her and past possessions were stolen. He knew that he himself could very easily delete any and all documents the government has on her. All he needs is pawns. Maybe he could "cash in a favor," as it's called. The chief justice should be a good start. It wouldn't take much convincing. Only a few pictures he has of the cheifs deeds will suffice.

And just like that, you disappeared by Fyodors' hands. He had to pull a few strings for living arrangements, but it was well worth the price. You now live in the most rural area you can think of. Not a house or road for at least a hundred miles and surrounded by trees. Yet, you still have no idea Fyodor caused this. You are the one who agreed to 'move into his place'. You are the one who resigned your job to be there. It's not like you knew that Fyodor set your place ablaze or made your boss' blackmail public after ridding your files or being the cause of your family's death.

After a few hours of reading in the enormous library Fyodor has, you hear the door open. In all his handsome glory is fyodor adorning his unshaka and a pure white faux fur cloak.

"Good morning, moya milaya"

P.s. Fyodor will remain my favorite BSD character 😊

[damagedintellect]

Kunikida x Reader [Truth or Dare]

💌 Truth or Dare with the ADA: Kunikida's book of kissing techniques 💌  

Summary: A slow day in the office leads to a game of Truth or Dare. You thought it would be harmless fun but Dazai's seen the way you look at Kunikida and he just wanted to help.

Notes: My brain went "wouldn't it be funny if" so I had to write it

💌 Word count: 1,405 💌

It was an incredibly slow day in the office when Ranpo announced that he was bored. Nothing new. Although from across the room you could hear Dazai suggest playing a game since most people were lazing around anyway, well except for Kunikida. You didn’t mind playing a game but you didn’t exactly want to get in trouble. That’s when Atsushi chimed in “What about truth or dare? That’s fairly low effort! And then those who don’t really want to play can pick truth.”

Everyone else agreed since most people were participating only to amuse Ranpo, who huffed that choosing truth was lame and a cop out. It didn’t stop Kenji from choosing it though, causing the detective to groan. You had been quietly working away getting ahead for tomorrow as the game progressed. If no one wanted to choose you then you would happily sit and watch. Kunikida set another stack of papers down on his desk, catching everyone’s attention for a moment. He’s probably annoyed that most people were goofing off instead of doing their work. You wondered if he would play if someone chose him? 

“Dazai, truth or dare?” Atsushi grinned. He just thought of a good use of the game.

Dazai brought his hand under his chin proudly exclaiming. “Dare, obviously! Do your worst!”

Clapping his hands, Atsushi revealed the greatest strategy for the game “Perfect, I dare you to buy me chazuke!”

Chaos was unleashed as everyone was cackling. So many wasted turns of stupid dares like making Ranpo speak in the third person or having Junichiro turn all his clothes inside out. This one was actually brilliant. Dazai didn’t know what to say, he definitely wasn’t expecting that but he should have figured it would be something like that. 

Dazai smirked. “Fine. (Y/N), Truth or dare?”

You perked up from your seat not expecting to be called on. “Truth.” 

You heard Ranpo shout “Lame!” as Dazai thought for a moment.

“Oh I know who do you have a crush on?” He stared back proud of himself for putting you on the spot like that. You quickly glanced at Kunikida in your peripheral vision. His back was turned to you. Clearing your throat you needed to give at least some answer so instead you say. “You know what actually I meant dare!”

Dazai’s grin widened as if he was prepared for you to back out. “I dare you to kiss Kunikida!”

“What! You can’t be serious?” That bastard painted you into a corner. 

“Or you could answer question, either way you have to pick one!” Dazai smirked knowingly. He’d already known your feelings were for Kunikida. By the way he was wiggling his eyebrows at you it felt like he was trying to express that he was helping you move your crush along.

Kunikida stopped what he was doing pushing up his glasses. “If it’s consent you're worried about I’ll allow it. He never said it had to be on the lips after all, I'd hate for you to admit something you don’t want to.” He turned to glare at the brunette “Dazai stop making everyone uncomfortable. I don’t care if you guys keep playing but-ffmpfhff”

When Kunikida wasn’t paying attention you had walked up beside his chair and kissed him on the lips. You stormed out of the office before you could see his reaction. Your cheeks were burning as you paced outside the door.

Ranpo cheered as chaos once again consumed the office. He didn’t think you’d have the guts to do it. Of course he’s known from the start about your crush but he knew better to not get involved. Now this was entertaining. Kunikida stopped mid sentence. His heart was pounding in his chest from a simple touch of the lips. It didn’t even last that long to his dismay but it made his train of thought crash all together. He's admired your drive and work ethic but that was all. He would never fantasize about his coworkers out of respect but that chaste kiss sparked something.

Dazai was laughing as he leaned over his desk “Earth to Kunikida? How did it feel to be (Y/N)’s first kiss?” He was talking out of his ass but with the frazzled look on Kunikida’s face the blonde seemed to have believed him. Kunikida stood up smacking Dazai with his book as he went after you. The blonde felt bad for taking something that usually is very important to people. He was going to make it up to you.

You wondered if you should go back in or just go home. Looking at the time it wouldn’t make much of a difference. As you took a step towards the staircase you heard Kunikida call your name “(Y/N) wait. I wanted to apologize, I really had no idea.”

Ah so he figured it out. This is where you get rejected now isn't it? You’ve never gotten to see his list of ideals but you can’t imagine with 58 of them being what he looks for in a partner, well you doubt you could possibly match every one of them. Although you do wonder how many of the 58 you do meet. You let Kunikida catch up to you before you spoke. You didn’t want to be shouting about your feelings from across the hallway. 

“It’s okay really if anything it was Dazai’s fault so,” You didn’t meet his gaze opting to look at your feet. Honestly you were surprised that he even followed you out but Kunikida would be the type to let you down easy face to face. In that case you might as well ask. “So about the kiss, did you at least like it?”

He pushed up his glasses. “Your lips were tense and a little off center. It was also too quick for me to really feel anything but for your first kiss I’d say it was adequate. You don’t want to be too firm with your approach.”

You blinked at him. At least he didn’t hate it? Although it wasn’t your first kiss, but if he was making excuses for your bizarre behavior just now then you’ll take it. “I guess I just need a little more practice.”

He cleared his throat. He doesn't know why he feels the need to divulge this information to you. Maybe it's the guilt of robbing you of a proper first kiss. “I might not be the most experienced but I’ve studied the twenty four most common types of kisses and several techniques that one should master to be considered a good kisser.” He looked shyly to the side. If Dazai read that section of his journal he would never hear the end of it. “Of course it’s been a few years since I’ve touched those pages but I could help you if you wanted. Consider it penance for taking your first kiss.”

You know “Kunikida becoming your kissing instructor” wasn’t exactly on your bingo card for this year but if it means you get to spend alone time with him, you would have played truth or dare months ago. Guess you’d have to thank Dazai for this opportunity, maybe even Ranpo. 

You tried not to look too excited. “I’ll do my best.”

He looked relieved. Kunikida took off his glasses“Great, now relax your lips.” He took a breath to settle his nerves. Whether it was guilt, shame or embarrassment he’ll never know but there was a burning desire to kiss you again to make amends.

“Wait right now?”

He put his glasses in his pocket as he cupped your face. Seeing your cute expression would only cause him to hesitate. “We’ll start tomorrow but I wanted to show you what it’s supposed to feel like.” 

His eyes peered down at your lips as he leaned in delicately placing them on your own. You could feel the warmth rush to your cheeks as you melted into his touch. It was longer than your peck from earlier but it was still just a simple touch of the lips. The thought of Kunikida initiating the kiss made you lightheaded. As he pulled away you were breathless. It was a miracle that you could even stand right now.

“Well?” Kunikida cleaned his glasses before putting them back on. 

You smiled softly hoping that he couldn’t hear your racing heart beat “Looks like I have a lot to learn.”

[airybcby]

Hello! I hope you are doing as good as Karl's spoiled raccoon life!

Anyhow, I low-key just found out that having kids of my own most likely won't be an option for me. Am high-key bummed out so, I was wondering if you could do head cannons of the BSD men reacting to fertility issues?

If not that's okay! Thank you for your time anyways! 😊

AHHHH TY TY IM DOIN GREAT SORRY FOR NOT SEEING THIS SOONER BUT OF COURSE 🫶🏼 HOPE YOU GET A MIRACLE AND GET URSELF A BABY💜💜 sending baby dust your way✨✨

BSD Men reacting to fertility issues headcanons!

a/n – there was no specific characters you asked for but feel free to comment/ask if you (or anyone else) want this with other characters!!

content – TW!! mentions of infertility, sensitive topic talked about, reader is afab, fem reader, fem bodied reader,, fluff, SPOILERS for tachihara, tachihara calls reader “baby girl”, akutagawa calls reader “dear”/“my dear”, dazai calls reader “belladonna”/“bella” ,i think that’s it lmk if i missed anything!

synopsis – tachihara, akutagawa, and dazai reacting to reader having fertility issues!

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tachihara

tachihara lost his brother young, so he never really got to experience the big brother type of love

so he’d always wanted have kids!

and when he met you?

the woman of his dreams?

oh he thought he’d have his whole life planned out.

he’d leave the port mafia as an undercover agent

go back to being a hunting dog

get his monthly surgeries to stay alive

and finally get the life he’d always wanted

with the love of his life🫶🏼

and even before he’d been able to leave the pm

you two had tried

and tried

and tried

and when nothing happened no matter how many times you guys tried?

you both decided to go to a fertility doctor

and learned that you, the love of his life, was infertile.

tachihara felt his heart break

but not for him.

no, he felt his heart break for you.

the woman who’d been so happy to try over and over again with him for a child

the woman who’d sat beside him when given the news and even if you didn’t cry, he’d heard the sharp inhale from you

even on the car ride home, he’d began to think about what you were thinking about.

and later when the two of you got home to your shared apartment, you’d immediately ran off to your shared room and he let you

he knew you needed time to process, so he started working on dinner

he made the only thing he really knew how to make; spaghetti

maybe it wasn’t going to be good, but he didn’t want to subject you to cooking or the take out food you were definitely thinking about if it added to your condition.

he’d walked into your room with the dinner in his hand and found you curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed

even if he didn’t hear you crying, he heard your sniffles and saw your shaking shoulders

he immediately put the two plates down on a dresser

he laid down behind you, wrapping his arms around you in a spooning position

“it’s okay, baby girl, don’t cry.” he cooed toward you. maybe he wasn’t a good person outside of this home, but when he was with you it was like he was that one puppy at the pound that wouldn’t jump up at any person that walked in– until it came to you. you brought the light into his life, and even if the two of you most likely couldn’t have children, you two could keep trying. if it never happened for the two of you, there was children in this world that needed to be adopted– he’d seen how orphans getting taken into big mafia groups, and he would hate for that to be any child. “i can’t give you that big family, michi-”the affectionate nickname rolled off your tongue with a heavy heart. you’d always dreamed of that with him, and now because of you (in your mind),the two of you couldn’t have that. “no, baby girl, it’s not your fault. now we can choose our own family♡”

akutagawa

ryunosuke akutagawa never envisioned kids in his life

before the port mafia, he thought he was simply going to die young due to his disease(cries in chapter 88)

and then he’d met you; a woman so beautiful that not even the feared diablo could hide his affections for you.

but even when the two of you started talking about being in a relationship; kids never came up

he never wanted any and he thought you wanted the same

and you had!

kids was never something you had wanted much in life either.

until, you had a pregnancy scare.

but it wasn’t actually scary for you,

you felt this rush of happiness and that’s when you realized what you wanted in life

to be a mother.

you already had the maternal feeling that most mothers didn’t get until they’d had a kid

you were empathetic

you knew how to calm akutagawa down even when no one else could

it was like you were born to be a mother

so you told ryunosuke your new found passion,

and i admit; he was a little taken aback by this sudden change in your attitude

but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try with you.

“if it happens it happens.” that was your motto to each other.

but then it…didn’t happen

and it never happened.

you didn’t tell akutagawa, but you were upset

how were you supposed to tell him? he didn’t want children much!

so you secretly went to a fertility doctor

you didn’t bother asking akutagawa to come along, he’d either be noticed from his constant being on the news or catch someone staring too hard and rashomon would cause yet another death

but maybe you should’ve risked it because no one should’ve had to hear what you heard while alone

“i’m sorry ms y/n, but you seem to have some fertility issues. there seems to be an ovulatory disease that you have…”

the rest of the doctors words just droned on, but you couldn’t hear anything

it was like you had become the victim of a cruel prank by fate

the one thing you had slowly come to accept that you wanted - was ripped away before you could even grasp the idea of it

you couldn’t even go into work after the news was given to you, you sat at home waiting for akutagawa to get home

but how were you supposed to tell him? just blurt out you couldn’t make him a dad?

you decided to hold off on telling him, but your boyfriend wasn’t stupid

when he came home and you weren’t immediately jumping at the chance to talk about what the two of you did today he knew something was wrong

“ my dear, what’s wrong? ” akutagawa asked as he leaned himself on the door of your shared bedroom. usually when he stepped into your shared apartment he was met with the brightest toothiest grin from you, one of his favorite parts of the day, so when you didn’t greet him at the door he knew something was up. he walked into the room the two of you shared to find you curled up into yourself, visible tears that had dried on your perfect face. “ ‘m broken , ryu…”you sobbed out, causing the usually cold and stoic male to break the mask he’d worn all day while at work. “ what? dear, you’re not broken. ” he said simply, walking over to the bed and sitting beside you, rubbing your back. “ tell me what’s wrong, dear, please? ” he sounded so desperate to help you feel better about yourself. “ i cant have kids, ryu, i’m broken. ” your voice cracked as you looked back at him, mascara smeared off of your eyes and onto your under eyes. “ doctors said i cant have babies…” you hiccuped as he had to sit and process the words you said. “ oh my dear, it’s okay, we already have a family. the mafias our family.” he said softly as he laid down beside you, allowing you to crawl up into his arms. he quietly shushed you as he rocked you to sleep. even if you couldn’t make your own family, akutagawa would love you either way.

dazai

dazai and his weird obsession with finding a beautiful woman to commit with was what led him to you.

you had been a new hire in a bar that he’d liked to frequent after spending hours at work

when you came up to him to see if he was just going to stare at you or get a drink , he’d taken the leap

he immediately grabbed your hands, eyes sparkling as he looked up at you

“ would you like to commit a double suicide with me? ”

you were on the verge of tears because of how stressed you were from the other patrons, so laughing at this silly man made you feel much better

his face fell as he looked at you, but your laugh was just so enchanting

“ my belladonna…would you not like to commit with me ? ”

and that’s how you ended up in this now two year long relationship with osamu dazai

over the past two years you’d moved in with osamu and switched your job from bartending to work in the cafe below the armed detective agency.

you’d seen many kids come in and out with their parents during your shifts

and they’d never really made you feel anything…until recently.

everytime you saw a child come in with their family it made your chest feel strangely tight and achey

and then you realized, that you really really wanted kids

ones that looked like dazai and didn’t have his personality, preferably.

and when you brought it up to him, he just teased you-

“ my bella, you just want what leads to the babies, don’t you? you shouldn’t have to even ask for that.”

it doesn’t get through his thick skull that you really do want kids until you just straight up tell him

“ osamu, i want kids. bad. ”

and for a man so smart, he sounded so dumb

blabbing on and on about how you’d look so pretty pregnant, but with a suicidal fool like his child? he couldn’t imagine it!

but wouldn’t osamu be mean if he didn’t give his cute little girlfriend what she wanted 🫶🏼

so you tried for months and months to get pregnant

and it just never happened for you

you decided that maybe the two of you had some other factor leading to the constant negative pregnancy tests

so you both went to the doctor and had check ups on your sexual health along with dazais sperm counted and your uterus checked to see if something was wrong

the two of you were even joking around about not being able to have kids and how silly that sounded

oh how you wished you could take it all back

the doctor came back and gave the news quite swiftly

“ i’m afraid miss y/n has a factor we have yet to determine that causes her chances of successfully carrying a child to significantly drop. i’m so sorry. ”

you tried your best to seem stoic and unwavering, but your vision clouded even more by every second.

the doctor left to give you two some time together.

and that’s when the real tears came

“ oh, my bella…”dazai frowned as he looked at you, trying to hide your glassy eyes and quivering lips. he wasn’t dumb, he knew how you were- so brave and so strong trying to keep your composure. the male wrapped his bandaged arms around your body. and that’s when the tears finally came flowing out, your whole body shaking as you clung to the man you so desperately wanted children with. “i’m useless , ‘samu.” you cried into your lovers arms. “i can’t even do the one thing women are supposed to do!” the male rubbed your back, trying to console you, but how could he? the dream that had just started to grow in your mind had been crushed with one simple dream. “no, no , you’re not useless. you’re the farthest from useless.”he cooed into your hair, one hair rubbing your back continuously while the other was holding the back of your head. “ we’ll grow our own family, my belladonna. i promise you. ” and dazai osamu was a man of his word.

i really didn’t know much about infertility so i did some research, and i know it’s not the deepest dive into it; but i hope i did it justice!

if anyone would like a part 2 with other characters feel free to request it or just comment!

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ;3

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[chuuyaspinkmotorcycle]

Day 8: Hats of @/Black00Cat’s (twt) SKKtober

Chuuya gets it.

He really does.

He, too, would be willing to steal to get a hat as cool as his.

That does not include Dazai stealing his, though.

So, after the something-thousandth attempt to steal his hat, Chuuya’s had enough.

If Dazai truly wants a hat, then Chuuya will do the great favor of – ew – helping him out.

Chuuya, for one, is ready to leave by the agreed-upon-beforehand time. And as he should have expected, Dazai is not.

The Agency really did soften Dazai up. He knows time is not easy to get in the mafia and yet here he is wasting Chuuya’s.

That’s fine, Chuuya thinks as he grabs Dazai by the leg to haul him out of his futon. It’s all fine.

Twenty minutes and incessant whining later, they are out the door and revving down the street on Chuuya’s motorcycle.

Chuuya does Dazai, and himself, a favor by taking them to a cheaper store under the guise of figuring out what looks good on Dazai, but really because he knows Dazai’s gonna steal his card to pay.

There’s not the greatest selection to choose from but it’ll work.

First, there’s the classic baseball cap in blue. A good shade on Dazai but not something he could see the man wearing everyday.

Next, it’s a beanie with a little puffball on top. This one’s white and while Dazai looks, admittedly, kinda cute in it, it’s also still way too hot outside to be wearing that, so on to the next.

It comes in the form of a cowboy hat? Chuuya’s not really sure why it’s there in the middle of Yokohama but he’s guessing someone threw an American Western party.

Now, you didn’t hear it from him, but damn, Dazai can rock a cowboy hat. Maybe he should get him to dress up as that for Halloween…

Anyway, Dazai puts on a beret next and does his most horrible French impression of which Chuuya’s not going to give commentary for.

The next hat – a sailor hat – also looks a bit too good on Dazai and now Chuuya has to decide on whether to make Dazai be a cowboy or a sailor for Halloween. If only they had a tiara here, his choice would have been obvious.

While Chuuya brews on that, Dazai picks up a fedora, moving to imitate first Michael Jackson – for which he gets no reaction, how rude – and then copies Chuuya’s thoughtful stance until the redhead notices.

Chuuya did notice, mind you, and the fedora does not look as good as his porkpie, thank you very much.

There’s only two left now, though Chuuya doesn’t think they’ll fit Dazai all that well.

The second to last to be tried on is a newsboy cap. Dazai shows the most interest in this cap. Chuuya shows the least, making the most disgusted face possible as his thoughts turn to a certain other genius detective and receiving a smirk from Dazai as he pieces everything together.

Somewhere out there, Chuuya hopes Ranpo sneezes on his candy.

Moving on, the last hat, a black bucket hat, is gingerly placed on Dazai’s head, the man doing a few rotations in front of the mirror to get a good look.

And maybe Chuuya was wrong about being a hat expert because holy shit, Dazai looks /good/ in a bucket hat.

Dazai adjusts the hat a little before pouting. “I can’t see.”

“Yes, you can, idiot, just push the front up a little,” Chuuya says, already reaching a hand up to do so.

Dazai, the dramatic ass, cries out, “So Chibi doesn’t want to see my gorgeous face when we fu– mmph!”

Thank Arahabaki Chuuya had his hand up already from fixing the hat to slap it over Dazai’s mouth.

“Shut it!” he hisses at the brunet, but the sly grin on Dazai’s face tells him everything he needs to know.

He’s paying for the hat.

[marichild]

CHEF. I AM COMPLETING THE TRIO.

AYATSUJI AND ODA !!!

hi philiah ty!! i hope u know i laughed so hard when u said u were sending this in. im finally not-braindead-enough to answer this and it has....varying results. anyway. platonic fake dating ask game

so. ayatsuji and oda.

first of all oda has no fucking clue what he's doing. he's doing everything by the book and it's not bad but it's done so matter-of-fact like one reloads a gun. ayatsuji stares at him for a good bit after the first time he like. pretends to display possessiveness or something. "wow you're horrible at this," but somewhat admiringly.

the other thing is that i think ayatsuji would try to menace oda but it slides right off of him because, well. oda has dealt with dazai osamu. he actually says this and ayatsuji goes like. what. seriously. oda voice did it really not occur to you that you're similar. ayatsuji:

pushing my ayatsuji-dazai antagonism agenda

i think they would pass well enough simply because ayatsuji cannot menace this man into biting back so it just ends up looking like one man who very patiently endures his playful(?) partner and believe that is the most hilarious image i've ever seen in weeks. ayatsuji and oda....once again thank you philiah LMAO

they'd probably get along well for the most part once ayatsuji realizes you can throw just about anything at oda and he'll take it in stride. i am picturing a casefic fake-dating style thing so yeah shootouts while ayatsuji tries his best not to figure out who the criminal is because they need the criminal back alive. but if not and they're doing this just for the bit, they might just pass for a genuine couple, dazai wants to kill himself (more so than usual), tsujimura questions how there's anyone who can stand ayatsuji, and yes, kyougoku is laughing at ayatsuji who does not actually feel all too amazing about this. however oda is an okay-ish guy so it's tolerable at best.

ango has his head in his hands by the way. why did he choose to keep a somehow meaner version of dazai around is his main thought.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Concept: Vampire Atsushi

I like to think that Atsushi acts similarly to the way he would if he was in full tiger form. The only difference being that he’s able to be controlled by Fukuchi.

Outside of direct orders, Atsushi relies a lot on his instincts. He will pace around the area he’s in and attack any enemy that gets in his way.

The rest of the vampires will growl and hiss but Atsushi will instead roar. He does tend to stay in human form but will transform his limbs when he fights.

But while he seems like the more animalistic of them, Atsushi is actually the most aware. Bram spots him from afar and remarks that “his mind is one that is fighting back.”

For the vampire ability works like a disease and Atsushi’s own ability is fighting against it. Unfortunately Brams and Fukuchi’s ability make it much too strong for Atsushi’s ability to overpower.

But he’s trying.

And because of that that there are moments where Atsushi is more like himself. Like how he lets Aya go free when Kenji shows up.

But it does mean that Atsushi gets confused and frustrated easily. It can causes him to lash out at others, enemy and ally if he gets pushed too far.

Because Atsushi’s just trying to follow Fukuchi and his orders. And the tiger is also pulled into that while trying to protect Atsushi.

The bond with All Men are Equals was believed to be severed when Atsushi died. However, much like his consciousness, it remains but it’s not strong enough to free Atsushi.

And Fukuzawa doesn’t wish to try and control his ability, choosing to leave it as a last resort. Lest he cause the poor boy any further pain and confusion.

Atsushi does have the vampire regeneration but doesn’t really use it. Given his ability reverses damage anyway without him having to consciously do it.

He’s terrifying in a fight because he was already stronger and faster than most people. It’s just that now he’s got no fear to hold him back,

For his outfit Atsushi is dressed a lot more simply than the rest. In order to not restrict his ability. He’s just wearing a plain white shirt and black pants.

He is not wearing shoes but he did get some. He just kicked them off immediately. Atsushi’s dressed a lot more similarly to Akutugawa (minus the coat) but the shirt looks more like one of Dazai’s.

Atsushi tends to sit up on rooftops and other high up places and watches everyone down below.

Eyeing them all like helpless prey.

He’s drawn to specific people but he’s not sure why though they smell rather familiar.

[littencloud9]

"shut up or i'll kiss you" + chuuran

"you shouldn't do that" + souheki. mwah

YAY! this takes place somewhere after the chuuran makeout session in poe's novel trust me it happened. also nb ranpo and transmasc chuuya because they are in fact t4t

"Shut up or I'll kiss you," Ranpo snaps. They know it's an effective threat, and Chuuya predictably presses his lips together. He stares at them with wide, horrified eyes, like Ranpo suggested he jump into the volcano or something equally terrible. How insulting. Ranpo isn't a bad kisser. They know because Chuuya was actively pulling them in for more back in that novel, and also because they know everything in general. Chuuya glares darkly, and Ranpo watches him fight an internal battle for a full minute before he gives up, stomping up towards them. With barely any warning, Chuuya slams their lips together. He's not gentle with it, biting and pushing with the force of a thousand suns, but Ranpo doesn't expect anything less. They kiss back with a barely concealed grin, amusing themself. When Chuuya pulls back, his glare hasn't wavered. "So as I was saying," he grumbles, continuing his earlier tirade. Something about... Ranpo doesn't know, to be honest. They were trying to do their work (for real, because Fukuzawa asked them to), and tuned out most of his fussing. Well, anyway, Ranpo chooses not to point out the bright red flush on his cheeks. Chuuya might actually explode if they do.

souheki!! you ask and you will receive <3. are they fake dating or actually dating here? who knows

"You shouldn't do that," Ranpo calls right before Dazai's hand touches the dog figurine on Kunikida's desk. He retracts his hand. "Why not?" "It's made of Kunikida-kun's ability and it's for Mr Fancy Hat." Ranpo doesn't need to explain any further. Dazai wrinkles his nose. Kunikida is so cheesy. "Yeah," Ranpo agrees with a snort, even though Dazai didn't voice that opinion out loud. He supposes his face did all the talking. "They're disgusting." "Oh, for sure," Dazai says as he heads towards Ranpo's table. The detective is sitting on his desk, so Dazai squeezes himself between his legs, resting a hand on his chest. "Just horrible. Thank God we're not as lame as those two." "Exactly!" Ranpo's eyes open, revealing brewing mischief that stirs something deep in Dazai's stomach. "It would be a shame if we ever fell to their level." "It would." They both turn their heads at the sound of someone climbing the stairs to the office. From the strength and pace of the footsteps, they can tell that it's Kunikida. Sharing another look, Dazai grins. He doesn't need to say anything else, for Ranpo gets the message. Eyes fluttering shut, Dazai presses himself as close as possible, sliding a hand down Ranpo's back to hold him there. Ranpo's legs wrap around his waist as they push their lips together, licking into each other's mouths. Ranpo flinches in surprise when Dazai runs his free hand down the expanse of his exposed throat, retaliating by tangling his fingers in Dazai's hair and tugging. Just then, the door opens, and the sound of files dropping on the floor fills the air. "Jesus fuck," Kunikida groans, shutting the door with a slam. His voice rings out from outside, "I am giving you exactly one minute!" Dazai and Ranpo separate, cackling in each other's hold.

[cryptid-juzou]

*knock knock* trick or treeeeaaaaat ☠️ 🍬 🏚️ 👻 🫣 🎃 💀👀

🎃👻Your little 🍬treatie🍬 shall be a snippet from my 'they should be at the club' self indulgent skk fic 👻🎃 It kinda just...ends, because I haven't written further than that, but I hope you like what is there.

In the early hours of the morning in one of Yokohama's districts known for it's nightlife, a compact man with a deep scowl on his freckled face, was weaving in and out of the mass of people. He had been searching up and down this street for the last 40 minutes, head swivelling around trying to locate someone, but was disadvantaged by being at least a head shorter than most of the crowd.

He was also impeded numerous times by the approach of giggling drunks trying to get his number or convince him to join their group drinking. It was irritating, but he was used to the attention, it was hard to avoid when one stood out as he did. His fiery red hair and freckles were a rare sight in Japan, and he knew the choker at his throat also caught the eye, but could not bring himself to remove it to draw less attention, he had worn it for so long it felt like an actual part of him.

At that thought his fingers came up to idly play with the thin strip adorning his neck, and was reminded of who had given it to him, causing his anger, temporarily abated while fending off his latest admirer, to come back in full force. ‘Over 40 minutes late, to a joint operation his fucking agency asked for help on, Dazai is getting his ass kicked,’ he furiously thought, once again vainly trying to find Dazai over the sea of heads. 

‘Fuck this,’ he muttered as a red glow enveloped him. Using his ability in a street full of ordinary people would cause a disturbance, Mori would certainly have words for him when the mafia employees who were staked out at several local establishments for various contracts reported this back. But with Chuuya’s mounting anger it was rapidly becoming a choice between using his ability to levitate sedately over the crowd for a better vantage point, or keeping up his search and then losing his shit and throwing people around with gravity until he unearthed Dazai.

But his feet never left the ground, the red haze dissipating as quickly as it had formed, Chuuya almost stumbled, his body feeling awkward and heavy when he had been expecting to be weightless. Confused, he tried to ascend again with no success. Then it clicked, he gnashed his teeth, his face twisting in fury as he spun around, leg kicking out towards the space directly behind him, almost making contact with the body that had occupied that space until a fraction of a second ago.

“Nee, Chuuya, kicking me is no way to pay me back for stopping you from doing something stupid. We’re supposed to keep a low profile tonight, remember.  Although, the man, Dazai, overtly looked him up and down, “It’s a bit hard to keep a low profile when you’re dressed like that. Those pants look glued on, and a leather jacket, really? Ohhh, did you get dressed up for little old me, I’m flattered, ” Dazai continued, batting his eyelashes exaggeratedly. 

‘Urrgh shut up asshole, you told me to wear something that I’d wear on a night out, to fit in with the rest of this lot,’ Chuuya gestured  to the surrounding people. ‘This…this is what I would wear, this is an outfit regular people would wear, right?,’ Halfway through Chuuya’s tone switched from angry and confrontational, to more uncertain, and his face slightly flushed, barely visible in the dim multicolored lighting from the surrounding venues. 

Dazai takes pity on Chuuya and chooses not to mention that Chuuya didn’t deny the outfit was to impress Dazai. He wouldn’t believe him anyway, Dazai has made his feelings about those pants very obvious whenever he got the chance to see Chuuya in them.

[silverbladexyz]

(I misread I thought the girl saved him but it was the opposite) The unrequited love fic is so sad it literally brought tears to my face that’s how good your writing is, like it gives me female rage that after seven years of friendship he chose a random civilian girl compared to the reader that had been there longer and knows him like the back of their hand. I’ll start referring to user as me since it’s the reader is you so I can go on a little rant, like I ripped my heart out and handed it to him yet he gave it back and chose another woman he barely knew for what? Because it was love at first sight or something as stupid as that like I would throw a tantrum I swear I take back everything I said about Chuuya I literally defended him with my soul but not even Dazai would (Dazai literally would but like that’s not the point) I would slap him and then just scream at him because I can’t that’s so unfair and like cry while doing so because I literally cry when I’m mad. I bet Kouyou would literally support reader but be torn apart because she wants Chuuya’s happiness but understands how frustrating it is for reader. I love the unrequited love fic it’s so good it makes me wanna fly away I can’t wait to read part three★´∀｀★

Anon thank you so much omg 😭😭😭💖

Honestly, your feelings are quite valid because... choosing someone else over your best friend of seven years hurts a lot :') especially when you're the one who knows Chuuya's life story better than she does. But even though he wouldn't understand why you'd slap him and scream at him because it's not his fault that he fell in love with Yasuko, he'd still feel guilty that you were suffering because of him 😔 And Kouyou would want Chuuya to be happy, but she would most likely advise reader to let him go because she knows all too well how having one's love ripped away right in front of your eyes feels like. Tbh not many of the Port Mafia members seem to know much about love, so the best that they can do is to offer support to you (not that you'd really tell your secret to them anyways) :')

Also I'm not too sure if you were reading the series in the correct order; because the part where reader saves Yasuko was the third and final part of the series. I'll link the series down below in the correct order, but please let me know if the way I formatted it on the fics were too confusing! :D

Part 1 Part 2 Third and final part

Enjoy! <3

[inamagicalhallucination]

near the end of a pm meeting:

akutagawa, standing up: i would like to discuss something

mori: oh? do you have concerns about the recent missions? that'd be rather strange wouldn't it?

akutagawa: no sir, i do not have any concerns.

chuuya: it must be important if akutagawa's actually talking about it

akutagawa: yes it is of the most importance

kouyou: well, then we should take this seriously

mori: well then, akutagawa-kun, what do you wish to discuss

akutagawa: the weretiger-

*audible groans*

akutagawa, undeterred: 's birthday is coming soon.

kouyou, smiling a little: i see. you desire help on finding a present for him. how about the two of us go shopping afterwards.

kajii: get him lemon bombs!!

tachihara: i don't think the weretiger would want that

hirotsu: perhaps some fine tea and wine

chuuya: get him a cool hat. or kill dazai for him, must be hard being in his presence so often.

higuchi, teary eyed: whatever senpai chooses will obviously be the best choice

kajii: blow up all the ppl who've wronged him

elise: run away with him!

akutagawa: you all misunderstand. i already have gotten my hands on what i desire to gift him. i wanted to discuss something else...

chuuya: uh i mean u can tell us anything

akutagawa: i wish for him... to perhaps meet... the people... i am... around often

*silence*

kajii, sobbing: oh-oh man! you can't drop that on us! of course we'll meet ur boyfriend! we're family right???

tachihara, also crying: bro i'd love to meet my brother in law !!

akutagawa: you two... do not have to come

chuuya: i'm honored u want us to meet, akutagawa. though i would have hunted him down anyway.

akutagawa, not meeting his eye: if it is alright with you chuuya-san... would u also be willing to meet him when my sister does

chuuya: o-oh

gin:

chuuya: shut up gin.

kouyou: oh this is all just delightful! akutagawa, where will we meet him? what is the dress code? is the agency going to be there? is kyouka going to be there?

akutagawa: atsushi wanted to invite u all to his birthday party so-

higuchi: ATSUSHI???

gin:

mori: well i am delighted to go.

akutagawa:

chuuya:

gin:

tachihara:

kajii:

kouyou:

hirotsu:

higuchi:

elise:

akutagawa, awkwardly: if you are busy, sir, you do not have to... just for this...

mori: nonsense! when chuuya-kun started his fraternization with dazai-kun and kunikida-kun, fukuzawa-dono hosted a meeting with chuuya and them, and the entire agency. but for some reason, they forgot to add me.

chuuya:

kouyou:

akutagawa:

gin:

elise:

mori: but this tim, i will make sure that i can go!

akutagawa:

chuuya:

gin: