#writing souheki is so fun. they are just menace4menace

[littencloud9]

"shut up or i'll kiss you" + chuuran

"you shouldn't do that" + souheki. mwah

YAY! this takes place somewhere after the chuuran makeout session in poe's novel trust me it happened. also nb ranpo and transmasc chuuya because they are in fact t4t

"Shut up or I'll kiss you," Ranpo snaps. They know it's an effective threat, and Chuuya predictably presses his lips together. He stares at them with wide, horrified eyes, like Ranpo suggested he jump into the volcano or something equally terrible. How insulting. Ranpo isn't a bad kisser. They know because Chuuya was actively pulling them in for more back in that novel, and also because they know everything in general. Chuuya glares darkly, and Ranpo watches him fight an internal battle for a full minute before he gives up, stomping up towards them. With barely any warning, Chuuya slams their lips together. He's not gentle with it, biting and pushing with the force of a thousand suns, but Ranpo doesn't expect anything less. They kiss back with a barely concealed grin, amusing themself. When Chuuya pulls back, his glare hasn't wavered. "So as I was saying," he grumbles, continuing his earlier tirade. Something about... Ranpo doesn't know, to be honest. They were trying to do their work (for real, because Fukuzawa asked them to), and tuned out most of his fussing. Well, anyway, Ranpo chooses not to point out the bright red flush on his cheeks. Chuuya might actually explode if they do.

souheki!! you ask and you will receive <3. are they fake dating or actually dating here? who knows

"You shouldn't do that," Ranpo calls right before Dazai's hand touches the dog figurine on Kunikida's desk. He retracts his hand. "Why not?" "It's made of Kunikida-kun's ability and it's for Mr Fancy Hat." Ranpo doesn't need to explain any further. Dazai wrinkles his nose. Kunikida is so cheesy. "Yeah," Ranpo agrees with a snort, even though Dazai didn't voice that opinion out loud. He supposes his face did all the talking. "They're disgusting." "Oh, for sure," Dazai says as he heads towards Ranpo's table. The detective is sitting on his desk, so Dazai squeezes himself between his legs, resting a hand on his chest. "Just horrible. Thank God we're not as lame as those two." "Exactly!" Ranpo's eyes open, revealing brewing mischief that stirs something deep in Dazai's stomach. "It would be a shame if we ever fell to their level." "It would." They both turn their heads at the sound of someone climbing the stairs to the office. From the strength and pace of the footsteps, they can tell that it's Kunikida. Sharing another look, Dazai grins. He doesn't need to say anything else, for Ranpo gets the message. Eyes fluttering shut, Dazai presses himself as close as possible, sliding a hand down Ranpo's back to hold him there. Ranpo's legs wrap around his waist as they push their lips together, licking into each other's mouths. Ranpo flinches in surprise when Dazai runs his free hand down the expanse of his exposed throat, retaliating by tangling his fingers in Dazai's hair and tugging. Just then, the door opens, and the sound of files dropping on the floor fills the air. "Jesus fuck," Kunikida groans, shutting the door with a slam. His voice rings out from outside, "I am giving you exactly one minute!" Dazai and Ranpo separate, cackling in each other's hold.