#Most of my friends are aware about the situation (to some degree) but having to tell them is going to be weird I think

[plutoswritingplanet]

Vicarious (Homelander x Female!Reader) pt. 7

a/n: shout out to my wonderful partner, who had to listen to me rant and rave about this fic.

Warnings: Explicit Smexual Content (we did it guys), Dubious Consent (whoops), Mention of Scars, Smoking, Good Old Fingerblasting, Reader is Still Plus Sized. Cross-Posted on AO3

Summary: And as such, the board is set, and the pawns are in place.

Vicarious Masterlist

The Instagram feed of your private account seems to taunt him, the orange ring around your profile picture almost begging him to tap it. He doesn't particularly care about the Vaught-curated, fake one, that posts smiling pictures of Fireball doing superhero training. He doesn't care about the hairspray commercial, or the short videos of you posing in the recording studio, where they make you sing some pop-rock swivel. He does enjoy the one short clip from an interview, where you praise him like there's no tomorrow, but it's a small flicker of interest in the sea of insignificant blabber. 

No. What grabs his attention, what is the only notification he ever gets on his phone, is the private and intimate life of Smirnoff. Hidden under already ten times broken website coding, followed by a rather small group of your friends from different points of your existence. And oh, what an existence it is.

Another day off, once every week, and you've fled the Tower in the early hours of the morning. He can't exactly follow you out, despite wanting to do so, to an almost alarming degree. Homelander doesn't get days off. He doesn't have the luxury of normalcy, because by all means, he's not normal. His eyes follow you like a hawk, from the surveillance point of his penthouse, where he sees your retreating form greet the doorman. 

It is quite disconcerting to him, as he takes in the way you interact with insignificant Vaught employees, after a month. The smiles, the borderline servile pleasantries, so unfitting to your role as a superhero, as his god-damned Sidekick. Once, he saw you pick up a note, which flew out of some worm's pile of documents, hand it to them with a bright expression. Like it's the most normal of occurrences, like you should be bending over for anyone other than himself. 

He would've intervened. In that small moment, he would've crossed the floors of the Tower, grabbed you by that soft underarm and showed you, exactly, who you should reserve your politeness for. But, he wouldn't interrupt Madelyn's speech, no matter how much he wanted to, he was tied at the moment, and as the day went on, the incident slipped his mind. 

Which he sorely regrets, as he peeks out his window, sensing through floors upon floors of noise-filled concrete and metal, that you're back.  

He seeks out your newest story with ease, his fingers flying over the touch screen. Your account pops up, like it's done for the past month, the colorful ring around your profile picture calling to him like a siren from mythology he's never bothered to read. 

The lights of New York never dim, and as he stands by the window, overlooking the nightlife of the city, he pauses, just for a moment. He wonders if you hate this place too. Not in the same way he does, that's for sure, but he's seen your house, your neighborhood. He's seen the way you flinch, whenever a particularly loud sound from the outside wriggles its way into the Tower. The way your nose scrunches at the fumes in the air, the way your eyebrows jump to your hairline, whenever you see a price tag on the water bottles stuck inside a vending machine. Even if you can afford them, even if you'll be able to afford them long after your contract is terminated. 

Honestly, you should be on your knees, thanking him for dragging you into the real world. For taking you away from the insignificant, lazy life of the suburbs. He's also aware, that precisely because you should be grateful, you hate this situation. You're too damned proud, even if you try to conceal it. He's getting good at reading you. 

First picture.

You're back at that disgusting, dirty food joint right outside the Tower. He can practically taste the unbearable amounts of sugar in your latte, and he frowns slightly at the whipped cream almost spilling over the sides of the glass. His tongue smacks against his pallet, imagining himself licking the artificial taste out of your mouth, letting the carbonation fizzle on his taste buds, until it turns into liquid, flowing from your lips into his throat. 

In a staggering display of self-restraint, he swipes to the next photo. 

"What the fuck is that" the black text says, accompanied by a horrified emoji, and he frowns, because honestly, he has no idea. He's looking at a very zoomed in photo of a bug, or... Some other alien creature. He grunts low in his throat and swipes. 

There's a three hours gap between the insect photo, and the next one, and he brings the screen closer to his face.

It's a video. A short clip of you, splayed on the floor. Someone else is holding the camera, and despite his best efforts, he can feel a small pang of jealousy crawling up his spine. 

Your cheeks are warm with exertion, your chest rising and falling in deep breaths, and he absentmindedly notices a very beaten up dog toy in your hand, traces of saliva still on it, as well as your fingers. A black, wet nose enters the picture, as the person filming zooms in on your face. You sputter, as the dog starts to lick your cheek, and the sound of your laughter fills his penthouse.

That same, rough noise you use around your friends. The loud cackling, that sounds simultaneously like nails on a chalkboard, and the greatest of symphonies. He wonders what he'll have to do, for you to laugh like that around him. He's funny, he knows he can be funny, he's the god-damned Homelander. 

He's everything. 

Homelander zeroes in on the way your chest shakes under a simple tank top, as your body convulses in bounds of laughter. And then suddenly, he freezes, all the heated, dangerous thoughts slipping out of his brain, as he notices something. He replays the video, once, twice, three times. Zooms in, tilts his head, tries to conjure up a clearer image from the amassing of pixels.

- Oh show me the way to the next whiskey bar - your voice carries through the metal-enforced walls of the tower, cutting through concrete and worming itself right into his ear. 

He's standing outside the door to your rooms, his eyes following your form as you glide through the kitchen area, hips swaying under a flowy skirt. It's the same outfit you've worn in the story, and despite himself, Homelander starts to salivate, the muscles of his stomach tightening ever so slightly. 

Your singing is, well, to be quite honest, not good. Which could've been anticipated, considering the amounts of auto tune they layered over your voice, in that horrendous song. It was clear you were not a singer, which you've mentioned, extensively, to Stillwell. She ignored it, of course. The small note in your files about taking part in a student rendition of a play twice in your life, and a teeny tiny mention of some band activity, was enough to set her unshakable resolve on truly milking the "rockstar" persona. 

Still, it doesn't stop you from belting out the refrain like you're part of the band, your body swaying, as you hug the pillar of your kitchen area in a dramatic display.

- Oh moon of Alabama, we now must say goodbye...

 He watches like a hawk, through concrete and metal, his eyes burning at the corners, as he tries so hard to catch that elusive thing. That small flicker he's sure he's seen on his screen, just minutes ago, but to no avail. And he has to know. Why, he's not sure himself, but the need to make sure, to uncover another layer of your being is too strong to ignore, and with a huff of frustrated air, he finally makes up his mind. 

The hard, demanding knock on your door startles you from your impromptu, private performance. Bare feet pad on the carpet, as you rush to the stereo system, turning the music down, before skipping towards the entrance to your room, curiosity and just a flicker of anxiety mixing within your gut. 

By all means, today is the one day you shouldn't be disturbed, so whoever this was, must have a pretty important reason to stop by your anything but humble abode. 

- Yeah? - that's the only word that you manage to say, as you open the door, before a flash of blue enters your vision. 

You barely have the time to realize, who exactly is standing in front of you, before a gloved hand darts out in your direction, fingers gripping the cleavage of your top tightly. A strangled sound of surprise and outrage escapes your throat, as blonde mass of hair invades your vision. 

Homelander kicks the door closed, as his hands tug mercilessly on the fabric of your shirt. Your arms flail in the air, before you have half the mind to grab his wrists, sputtering wildly, as you try (and fail) to free yourself from his hold. 

- What the fuck are you doing? - your voice comes just a bit more on the panicked side, and you mentally scold yourself.

He doesn't seem to notice this slip-up, too occupied with whatever he's hoping to find in your bra. Your face burns red against your better judgement, as his free hand wrenches itself in between your breasts, all but scooping your flesh to the sides, until your sternum is more visible. 

Finally, he blinks, freezing in his place, blue eyes staring at your skin so intensely, you're convinced he's going to burn another hole through you. 

- What is that? - he asks, voice low and more dangerous, than you've ever heard up until this point. 

You frown, confusion written clearly on your face, and in response, he jabs his gloved, red finger right at the center of your chest, your body swaying slightly from the impact. 

- This. What the fuck is this? - he repeats, a note of impatience sneaking into his tone, and you tug your chin as far down as it can go, struggling to see, what exactly he's pointing at. 

And then, like a flicker of genius, your mind catches up. With a huff of frustration, you finally take a sharp step back, letting the material of your top tear, a scrap of sad fabric dangling from his hand, as you throw him a look, that borders on annoyance. 

- It's a scar - you try to keep your voice indifferent, try to deny him the satisfaction of your reaction, but goddamn, this is your day off, and he's acting insane. 

He looks utterly out of place inside your room, although you can't imagine anyone, except maybe Ozzy Osbourne in his prime, fitting into this strange jumble of rock paraphernalia. You barely fit in here yourself, with your sweaters, and tops, and flowy skirts that flutter around your ankles. Still, seeing him here, in your space, fills you with a sense of discomfort. This is supposed to be your safe house, your one hiding spot in the hell site that is the Vaught Tower. A naive way of thinking, considering the man you wanted to hide from the most, could see and hear through walls, but still, you'll take an illusion if you can't have the real thing. 

Homelander blinks a couple of times, you can see the muscles of his jaw moving under his skin in a way, you've come to recognize. He's thinking. It's never good when he's thinking. Your first month as his glorified sidekick is coming to an end, and you already know, nothing good, nothing kind, will ever come out of that brain of his. 

- You... - his eyes flicker over your entire figure, from head to toe - Scar?

The note of incredulity in his voice makes you sigh, and you tug the torn fabric of your top upwards, just to try and shield yourself from his gaze. Slowly, he notices the scrap from your shirt still in his hand, and as he looks down at it, his fingers run absentmindedly over the fabric, the frayed ends sticking out. Your eyebrow twitches, when he pockets the material, but you decide not to comment. Not while you're still uncertain of his, well, everything at the moment. 

- Of course I scar - you say slowly, trying to keep your voice calm - You burned a hole through me, remember?

Finally, that seems to snap him from whatever daze he's been in, and he regards you fully with a sharp jerk of his head. 

- You said you heal faster - he points out, and you can see, the way his legs twitch, as if he's undecided whether he wants to close the distance between the both of you. 

- Scars are a part of the healing process - you tell him, words sounding a bit rehearsed, a bit too much like a doctor reciting the same phrase to every patient. 

The Doors continue to play, quietly cutting through the air, mixing with the sound of your quickened breathing. Somehow the once comforting music starts to feel more and more like a soundtrack from a horror movie. 

You can't stand in place anymore, a nervous sort of buzzing entering your system like a tsunami wave, and against your every instinct, you turn your back to the predator inside your safehouse. Feet padding over the carpet, you find yourself at the window, cracking it open, and letting the cool, fumes-filled air of New York into the room. He's not even trying to be stealthy, as he comes closer, and when you turn to face him, you're met with a myriad of conflicting emotions running through his expression. 

A childish sort of giddiness, at the prospect of marking your skin, of carving himself into the very essence of your flesh. And a deep disdain for such ordinary show of weakness, of humanity. You don't like either of the options, and your hands reach for the half-smoked pack of cigarettes at the nearby table. 

- So you knew, you'll scar - he starts, his eyebrows raising - And you didn't think to mention it?

It wouldn't change a thing, and the both of you know it. You fish out a lighter out of your pocket. 

- And you shot yourself in the fucking stomach - he continues, his tone growing lighter, like he doesn't believe the very real events, that transpired between the two of you - You can't be that stupid, I've seen a college mention somewhere in your files. 

That makes you huff, as you take out one of the cigarettes with practiced ease, placing it between your lips, while looking at him utterly unamused. 

- For English literature, not... - your hand flails in the air - Whatever... Borderline abusive, work interactions. 

He scoffs at the statement, like it's a joke. Like you're not forced to second guess every little action around him. The lighter flicks to light, and suddenly his mouth splits into a smirk. Sharpened canines flash at you, a small shiver coils itself at the base of your spine. 

- You know what they say about nerdy girls, right? - he quips, voice lowering into a strange sort of rumble, that would perhaps sound seductive, if it weren't him.

- I can guarantee you, I've heard every version of this...

- They don't know how to smoke - he cuts you off, jutting his chin out slightly in your direction, making you finally look down at what you're actually doing. 

The cigarette is on fire. Literally. 

You've lit the wrong end, and your nostrils fill with a biting scent of burning plastic, as the filter melts in the heat. 

You sputter, free hand waving in the air in quickness, and the small, burning stick flies out of your mouth, and shoots across the room, until it hits the sink in your small kitchen area. Homelander's eyes crinkle at the sides, as he takes in that small display of your power. You run after it to the sound of Homelander's rumbling laughter, too mocking to laugh with him. Fortunately, you manage to drown the burning end in water, before the smoke detector goes off, and for a moment, you allow yourself to stand there, leaning heavily on the counter, watching the cigarette swim. 

He slides into your kitchen like it's his playpen, towering over you with a smug expression, and you have to bite your lip, because fuck. That was, perhaps, actually funny. 

And in the warm light, he looks less like your nightmare, and more like an all-american boy, you could've met at a college party. A shuddering breath leaves you, much too close to a laugh, and his lips pull back even more, into a boyish sort of a smile, that just barely makes your stomach flutter. 

- Yeah... Okay - you concede, giving up ever so slightly in this strange situation, and you try to suppress another shiver, as his blue eyes suddenly seem much too sharp. 

And then, he crosses his arms in front of his chest, the padding on his suit making his chest look almost ridiculously puffy, as he takes a deep breath, looking away from you in a manner that might be mistaken as, god forbid, shy. 

- So - he starts, immediately putting you on high alert, even if there's a flicker of curiosity brewing inside your gut - How was your day off?

You blink up at him confused, before realizing, that he doesn't really care. His shoulders sag slightly, already bored with the conversation he started himself. And you want him out of here, so you mirror his stance, crossing your arms, and take a long breath.

- Good. - you attempt, and fail, to sound casual -  I've been to....

The rest of the sentence is cut off by your strangled gasp, as your chin suddenly gets pushed up by a gloved hand. And then it's tongue, teeth and a whisper of lips, all but attacking you, poking, probing, demanding entry. Your arms flail once again, your nails dragging over the marble countertop, over the geometric patterns of his suit.

Homelander all but crushes your body against the kitchen counter, one of his hands coming up, roughly palming at your breast, fingers sinking into the soft material of the bra cup, into the even softer flesh. He drags the material down, until you spill out into his palm. 

Is this the Maybe you've been thinking about? It doesn't feel like a Maybe. 

Your mind races between all the possible exits from this situation, every single one falling short, when he finally grows tired of the barrier of your teeth. His other hand grabs your jaw tightly, pressing on the tissue until your mouth falls open on instinct. Like a fucking dog, that's being tricked into swallowing a tablet, his tongue slides into your mouth. 

He groans, deep within his chest, as if this is some moment of immense relief, and you're stuck in limbo, undecided between gagging and reciprocating the kiss. Both options seem as likely, and that thought terrifies you to no end. 

The decision is made for you, once again, as his knee slides between your shaky legs, brushing ever so slightly against the heat, that's been steadily growing, and god help you, it feels good. 

A low, keening sound rips through your chest, your throat, and he swallows it like it's the only air he'll ever need, responding with a grunt of his own, his fingers tightening over your breast. His other hand slides down, over your ribs, your waist, until it settles on your hip, grabbing the flesh there with all his might, and pulling.

Pushing, and pulling, until your hips stutter into a steady grind against his knee.

You're convinced your blood has turned into living lava, undescribable warmth flooding your abdomen with every move, spilling into your cheeks, the tips of your fingers. 

Finally, he detaches himself from your mouth, and as you gasp for air, your senses return to you in a cold wave. Despite the heat, the tingling, overtaking sensation building in your core, the tantalizing way he plays with your breast, your mind cools itself. Finding your voice comes easier than you would've anticipated, and you vow to explore this unexpected level-headedness at a later time.

Your hand finds his chin, nails biting into his impenetrable skin, forcing him to lock eyes with you. The dangerous, almost animalistic darkness within them, would've scared you, at any other time, but right now, all you feel is calmness. The sort of silence you'd experience in the very eye of the hurricane. 

- Go to your room.

You almost don't recognize your voice, the low commanding tone that comes somewhere deep within, from some undiscovered part of yourself that seems to come out in his presence only. You're still undecided whether it's Fireball, Smirnoff, or this strange third thing. Perhaps it's all of them combined. Doesn't matter now, what matters is, he stops.

Everything comes to a screeching halt. The knee, the hands, even the song playing quietly on the stereo system. You're convinced he's turned into a statue in front of you, until he blinks. A feverish series, another tell of his running thoughts. His mouth falls open, traces of you cooling against his bottom lip. And then his jaw sets, along with his decision.

- No - your stomach drops - Give me something.

Confidence slips through your fingers like air, as the realization of just how much unprepared for this balance you really are. How you've bitten off so much more than you can chew, and there's no other way forward for you, than to choke on it. 

- I... - your voice lodges itself firmly in your throat - I don't...

- You want to play this game? - his voice is low, hot breath fanning against the column of your throat - Play it right. Give me something. 

You swallow hard, his eyes drifting to the movement, the pulse running rampant in your artery. This must be that elusive Maybe your friend talked about, but as you stare at him, eyes wide and uncertain, you suddenly feel like the weight of the world has been dropped on your shoulders, which were not meant to carry this burden. Still, in this eye of the hurricane, you make a decision, because there's nothing else to do, nowhere to turn, not really. 

Your head nods on its own accord, spine stiff and cracking, and you can see a flicker of victory pass his features. Not in a way that would suggest relief. No. He knew from the start, there's no other way for this interaction to end. 

And as such, his hands leave you, as he unclasps the velcro at the wrist of his right glove, the sound jarring in the thick tension between the two of you. Then, the loosened leather presses itself into your lips, resting at the border of your teeth. 

- Bite - he says, low in his throat, and the hinges of your jaw creak as you sink your teeth into the hard material. 

His hand slides out, elegant fingers, veins climbing the expanse of skin, and your breath hitches ever so slightly. Homelander doesn't waste time. The moment he's free of that one article of clothing, he reaches down, gathering your skirt up. You can feel the flowy material slide up your calves, your thighs, until it bunches up around his forearm. The pads of his fingers brush over the well worn cotton of your underwear, and your eyes flutter, a sign of betrayal from your own body. 

He drinks in every reaction, every change, as he slowly, tugs your panties to the side. You can see those sharp canines flash in a borderline giddy smile, as he finally makes contact with your flesh. 

- Would you look at that... - he quips, and you know very well, just how drenched you really are, just how tight the muscles of your stomach had been. - Aren't you just the perfect little Sidekick.

There's no time to answer him, as suddenly your walls flutter around his fingers, his thumb finding it's goal with an almost unbelievable ease. Your hips stutter, torn between pushing him closer, deeper, and pulling away. He hums in your ear, his mouth finding purchase behind your ear, where he sucks and bites, until you shiver. Your hands fly up, grabbing at the bronze eagles on his shoulders, nails scraping against the metal, as your mouth falls open. His other hand, which is currently not occupied with absolutely wrecking your nether regions, pushes into your mouth, thumb pressing against your tongue, leather running over your bottom teeth. 

He tilts your head up, forces you to look at him, those once baby blue eyes are almost completely eaten by his dark irises, which are lapping at every twist of your eyebrows, every flutter of your eyelashes. Your breath hitches in your throat, as he pushes his fingers as far as they'll go, pressing up into you, the sounds becoming downright obscene. The pressure builds with an almost alarming speed, your thighs starting to shake from the exertion. 

His head dips down, tongue sneakig from between his teeth, and he licks a long stripe between your breasts, mouth closing over the small, light scar. There, he sucks, until your back arches, until the skin becomes pink, then red.

And despite the fact, that situation is messed up beyond belief. Despite the fact, that hate burns low in your stomach, it's fire rising with every motion of his fingers, every press of his thumb...

You let go.

Your hand grabs at the back of his head, fingers digging into his skin, pushing him down to meet your open mouth. And you kiss him. Truly kiss him, pouring every hidden or otherwise emotion into the swirling of your tongue. You swallow the loud groan coming from deep within him, and let the pressure in your stomach snap like a rubber band. You've always been quiet, and today is not any different, as your body arches against him, hips moving in an uncoordinated stutter, riding his hand like your life depended on it. 

You revel in the way his eyes widen in surprise almost more than your orgasm. The realization, that you've caught him off guard, setting your nerve endings on fire. 

He recovers quickly, pulling away from the kiss, his mouth hanging open. Then, his hand rips itself out of you, before you have the time to stop spasming, coming up to his mouth, where he cleans his fingers, shoving them into his mouth. The noise he makes, when he tastes you for the first time, borders on pornographic, and with a freezing shiver running down your spine, you think he looks almost beautiful like this. If he was anyone else, he would be perfect. 

Alas, he's himself, and you are what your life has made of you, so you force your breathing to level, until you're sure you're ready to speak. 

- Go to your room - you repeat, a note of hoarseness sneaking into your tone, but his eyes flash nonetheless. - Now. 

There's just a second of hesitation. An excruciating moment, where your heart nearly stops in your chest. And then, your skirt falls back into place, fluttering around your ankles, as the heat of his body leaves you. That hellish American flag billows after him, and now you're sure the stars and stripes are mocking you. 

But he's gone.

 The door slams after him, and finally you're left alone, moisture cooling on the insides of your thighs in a way that makes your stomach twist. You can't think about it. You try to shove this entire situation into another box, hide it from sight, stomp on it like an annoying cockroach. Knees buckle under you, and the coolness of the kitchen floor is a jarring contrast to your burning skin. 

On instinct, pushed by some invisible force, you reach up, fingers closing over the cigarette pack and the lighter, and this time, you light it correctly. It takes three puffs, until the smoke detector catches on, the water system coming to life, spraying the entirety of your room with cold water. 

And you continue sitting there, on the floor, holding your wet cigarette between your teeth, letting the water cover everything, you included. It's okay. You can afford it.

You're a rock star. 

[reikurusu]

I did something really exciting today!

I'm not going to bother you with details about it, but I have a really bad relationship with my father's side of the family. He passed away 23 years ago and even before that, he was hardly there for me and my brother. After he passed away, my mum, brother and I didn't really have the best relationship with his side of the family either and haven't spoken to any of them in, like, 15 years.

So when we were in our late teens (like 10+ years ago), my brother and I started thinking about changing our last name to our mum's. Because, y'know, she was actually there for us.

But the legislation around it was very strict. You had to apply for it, have a good argumentation, and it had to get approved with a royal decree and all. Plus, it cost a bunch of money. So we wanted to do it, but all the crap that came with it, it just wasn't worth the trouble...

At the beginning of July, though, a new law came into force where, for one time, you're allowed to change your first or last name without all the hassle of the royal decree nor the cost of it (just so you know, this is something completely separate from when a trans person changes their name. There's an entirely different legislation surrounding that.)

So this morning, I went to town hall and applied for the name change! Which is so cool!! (My brother applied a week or two ago)

It will take about a month for the paperwork to go through and afterwards I have to go back to change my ID and driving license and all (and I have to contact my bank and insurance and what not) but it's so exciting!!

It's also a bit weird because obviously you're so used to your name and to have it change all of a sudden... It's, I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like you're a different person all of a sudden? It's feels like letting go of the person you were all your life? I don't know if that makes sense.

So yeah! I'm so excited about this!!! It's going to be weird and I'm probably going to use the wrong name out of habit, but I'm so happy that I can finally do this and leave that side of my life in the past!!!

[8housevenus]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ placements that feel like a fairytale ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

🧚pisces venus - "i've walked with you once upon a dream," such an exceptional place for venus and a very good lover. thoughtful and remembers little things about somebody. gives even when they have nothing. venus is exalted here, which strengthens the power of venus. rosed-colored glasses, natural lovers. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚neptune in 1st/2nd/7th/9th - 1st/ dreamy appearance, "i wish i could look like you," "i don't know if i wanna be you or be with you," wins people over, sometimes unaware of their influence, stands out in a room full of people. 2nd/ "you sound so sweet," delicate voices, gives the best compliments or receives unique compliments, gets money for no reason or gives money for no reason, very questionable kind of person but it is a likable feature about them. 7th/ unpredictable in love, "tag you're it," loves the chase and the longevity of a new/fresh relationship. people wish they could be with you or have had dreams/thoughts of pursuing you. sometimes people might drop many hints but never say. 9th/ super underrated, people feel elevated in your energy, you bring out a new lens to others, your ability to change and only get better overtime seems super unreal. the type to go mia and then randomly appear in a fancy italian restaurant with 1 million dollars and a rich spouse. they think it and it is, very big planners and attractive to the outside. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚sun in 5th/7th - 5th/ their love is their passion, and their self-expression is one that is bold and unique. this is your "entertainer," placement, understands the role they play in this life. courageous in their love and give an experience that one will never have again. 7th/ people-person, revolves around being open-minded and naturally attracting friends, partners, and even some enemies. a very commendable individual. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚libra/taurus rising - the symbols of beauty and allurance. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚cancer sun - exudes a tender warmth to others. "wifey material, mom friend, therapist," has probably heard it all. cancer sun has seen the vulnerability of everybody they have met, there's a strong trust here and their strength is undeniable. think of fairy godmother. has an emotional depth that allows others to easily fall for them. double points if it is a man with a cancer sun; women will admire this difference about you from other men. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚libra moon - pretty when you cry, everyone stops to hear you talk, such a mediating and magnetic energy, wears their heart on their sleeve and can empathize very well with others they have nothing in common with. all about fairness and equity, wants to be the peacekeeper in most situations. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚venus in 11th/2nd/7th - 11h/ friends will admire you and pick up on your aesthetic and can even try to "become" the same way. you make people feel really good and you are inspiring. 2nd/ you are well kept and seem orderly. soft voice, soft appearance, and loves to smother themselves and others with little gestures. 7th/ ideal partner placement, looking for love in everything they do, has very good connections and dazzles their flirt onto everybody they meet. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚personal planets in 4, 7, 12, 16, 19, 24, 27 degrees - these are libra, cancer, and pisces degrees, can amplify these placements by sprinkling on some of these signs qualities. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚neptune conjunct/ trine sun - dreamy-esque, can't keep you off my mind, is it love is it lust? naturally charming and independent. knows how they make others feel, giving others a sense of hope that makes them cling on forever. usually, the favorite boy or girl for somebody. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚venus conjunct moon/neptune - awareness to what relationships might require, or what other people want out of you. knows how to express themselves properly, can be sweet/seductive one minute, then manipulative/moody the next. likes to change up their style for their partner; very intimate and puts their partner's needs first. will be super feminine for their loved one. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚midheaven conjunt/trine/sextile neptune or venus - enhanced beauty in the public eye. people want to be around you and there's maybe some type of distance between you and your lovers- which makes relationships so much more intriguing. "i've got my eye on you." these people love makeup, jewelry, skin care, anything to appear ideal. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚virgo midheaven - seen as a damsel in distress sometimes; but they are elegant and reserved. they are the ones that people usually rely on and open up to the fastest. their fairytale qualities come from how they act rather than how they speak. they will make sure you are covered and will attract you with their practicality and realness. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚virgo venus - has a purified perception of love, very service oriented and even shy. they are slow and steady in terms of love language, however a virgo venus will always make sure their partner only gets the best. they want to make everything perfect for their significant other, which makes the virgo venus placement seem so admirable. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚cancer venus - soft, sweet, and giving. full of the feminine and embodies the nurturer archetype. magnetic to the opposite sex; babe magnet, and usually wear pastel colors or colors that are bright. they don't like to make themselves unknown to the idea of love. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚moon/neptune in 5th - has such a childlike approach to the world, very full of nostalgia and is deep-rooted in being memorable for others. oftentimes moon in 5th has a dramatized identity about themselves, which gives the fairytale vibes because it can feel almost surreal. neptune can also have this affect, neptune 5th might always get "i wish you were here," or "where's so and so," very memorable and such sweet and delicate impressions to the public. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

🧚sun in 9th - would take their partners through all kinds of experiences, the kind of people to take you higher and change your mind-set on various subjects. very underrated placement and i find it quite fairy-tale like due to the fact that there's always some form of expansion for these individuals and you can see and feel their inner glow when they are in new environments. usually, can have foreigners or various kinds of people fall for them, they quite literally shine in new horizons. 🌷 ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

thank you for reading <3

[daretoassume]

spiritual lessons i learned before turning 20

it was exactly january 1st, 2021, when i began my self-development journey. i think most of us experienced some unpleasant things in 2020. that year led me to my spiritual path and taught me many things about loving myself. i spent my whole year by myself, meditating, reading books, and practicing conscious manifesting. these things brought out the best in me and guided me on how i perceive the world and life in a better way.

1. don't try to fit in. after all, you are not here to stay.

in my high school days, i always wanted to fit in because it was so hard for me to make friends while observing my other classmates; it was so effortless for them. i wanted to have that friend group, so i tried to fit in by doing what they were doing so i could be acceptable to them.

it was so unhealthy to dislike other people, judge them behind their backs, and waste each other's time. i became someone i am not. i eventually left them because i realized, "if these people i am with can speak negatively about others behind their backs, what makes me think that they are not going to do that to me as well?"

we all want to feel like we belong, but being someone you are not is not the way to feel like you belong. isn't it exhausting always trying to fit in to feel like you belong?

you are supposed to stand out. you are supposed to have your own personality and embrace your qualities. after you love yourself enough and embrace yourself, the right people will come to you, and you will not feel like you are trying to fit in. our life is too short to spend trying to fit in; we might as well look within and be who we are meant to be.

2. don't follow the crowd they are also lost.

it is almost the same as the first one, but this one concerns following society or social norms. we are taught to do one thing because it is more acceptable than the other. who is accepting it? did they say something when they accepted it? are they proud because we followed them?

i thought i had always wanted to be a flight attendant, so i took a tourism degree. where does that thought come from? it was from my family; growing up, they mentioned that i should either be in hospitality or take a tourism degree. i wanted them to be proud of me, so i took that degree, thinking it was my dream.

while i decided to choose that, i didn't consider any other degree because i thought i wanted that for myself. i was not aware. this is the first thing i learned in 2021: to choose the life i want for myself; unapologetically, i am now following the path i am supposed to take while in college.

there is always something in our hearts that we want to do. follow that even if you think it is ridiculous. follow that, even if other people think it is ridiculous. just because you do something different doesn't mean you are crazy. i mean, the world is crazy enough, and following the crowd without awareness is one of them.

3. when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

everything is perception. the meaning you give to everything in your life becomes your reality. and if we think about it, this is a life-changing lesson. the way you look at things determines whether you are going to be mad, happy, sad, or envious. our eyes don't see; our eyes are the only tool our mind uses. and our mind will determine what perception it is that we have.

do you believe that people are kind and friendly or out to get you? whatever you choose, that is what you will create for yourself.

it is about changing your attitude towards situations that did not come your way. change how you look at things in a way that will serve you better so that what is outside of you doesn't control what you feel.

it doesn't mean that if you change your perception, the situation will change as well; it will not, but it will change how you see it. it is how we see things that make us live better. it is inside what we need to change to see life in a beautiful way to create a beautiful life we will love to look at.

remember, where we focus our energy, it will expand. it is nice to develop positivity and love just by focusing on it. i don't mean to have toxic positivity. of course, not every day is love and light; we can dwell on it, but we also have to know when to stop.

4. don't take it personally.

i have learned this the hard way, and i am still learning. other people might say something about us, but it is not about us; what they say is more about them. when somebody calls me "dumb, ugly, stupid, weak, worthless," it is not about me; it is about them.

tell me, what kind of person will say that to another person if they are mentally sane? maybe they are having a bad day and decided to put that on me; perhaps they feel that inside and put that on me (without being aware); it is never about us.

the same goes for someone who calls you "beautiful, nice, amazing"; do you think a person will tell you that if they don't already see that in themselves?

hurt people hurt people, and healed people heal people.

but whenever you are being judged and criticized negatively, remember that a person who is love and light will spread love and light. try not to get upset with people. what they say or what they do is powerless without your reaction. if we get frustrated, we take their trash and make it our own. how can we see life better if our environment controls our thoughts and feelings?

5. introspective work is the most important thing to do.

we are the only ones in our inner world; why not make it a safe space for us? try filling it with love, positive thoughts, and kindness. our inner world reflects our outer world.

you see, if you feel good, you do good and smile at the world. but when we are feeling negative, especially mad, we sometimes put that on other people. if we feel envious, resentful, anxious, or depressed, these are things that we should work on inside, not outside.

we cannot control what is outside; the environment, the situation, and the turbulence on our journey are beyond our control. what we can only control is what is inside.

everything starts within. even in manifesting, we don't look at our reality and ask, "where is it? where is my manifestation?" we see that in our minds first before it comes to fruition. we believe and feel that we already have it; we even fix our self-concept to align with the vibration of what we want before it manifests in our reality. all these things come from our inner world.

do much reflection on how you speak to yourself in your mind, and be aware if it is kind or tormenting you. suppose you think that the outer world is quite harsh. in that case, people are being unkind, or you feel negative about life, turn to your inner world; maybe you are neglecting something inside of you that needs the most attention and introspection. 𓍯 entryfromsane003 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

[elsecrytt]

satoru gojo knows he's not wanted. only needed - a weapon for killing curses and curse users, day in and day out, the lynchpin of jujutsu society.

he's fine with that, most of the time. the truth is, when suguru left, he thought that was the end for him. he was never very good at friendship in the first place, at making people like him.

he has a difficult personality, and he doesn't want to change. people willing to deal with him as he was were few and far between, and they never had that immediate connection like he did with suguru.

even if it left him unbearably lonely. it's just not in his nature to mince words, to hold back, to play nice. if he couldn't be satoru gojo, then what else did he have left?

and it's fine, most of the time.

but some of the time, it's not. it's really, really not. sometimes, it's worth it to try, just the tiniest bit, not to be a complete ass and drive away a pretty face who seems unbothered by his attitude.

that's how he ends up with you - a non-sorcerer. he hasn't told you about sorcery in general and doesn't want you to know.

to him, your shared penthouse is his safe space. he never walks or drives there, only ever teleports so that no one can trace him there. no one, not even at the school, knows that he primarily lives there.

he spends every spare hour (sometimes even just ten minute) he can there. finishing missions early, darting off after lessons, eating there whenever he can.

satoru only sleeps whenever you sleep. he never showers alone, never does his nighttime routine on his own.

that's all precious time he could be spending at your side.

washing your hair, your face, cleaning up alongside you. laughing and splashing and making a little more of a mess if he can get away with it.

here, there are no curses, no former friends turned traitor, no one who needs his help.

you smile as soon as you see him, hear him, run up to hug him if your hands are free.

he's on the lock screen of your phone. once or twice he's caught you just staring at it, delight painted all over your lips.

all you want from him is his company -

and god, is he ever aware, you're the only one alive who does.

most of his coworkers dislike him to various degrees. even his students have mixed feelings about him sometimes.

he does his best, he really does, but he can't bring himself to get attached to someone who might one day leave.

you won't, though (you can't), so he's free to love you all he wants.

he'll freely confess - he's overcompensating. pouring all the missed opportunities to bond, all the awkward moments where his attitude turned other people away, into the dam that is your relationship.

you don't mind his funky schedule (too much), you're a huge homebody who likes having date nights at home.

you smooth off all the rough edges of his personality - the arrogance, the smarmy comments - with a laugh and a taunt, a hand in his hair that he can't help but lean into like the domesticated pet he is.

god, he loves you. he loves you so, so much, unreasonably so - loves coming home to a "satoru! welcome back~", loves bringing home meals from different places and watching you try them with delight (you joke that his mysterious job must be as a delivery man, which he laughs at more than he should), loves coming home to your unnecessary attempts at cooking every now and then, something indescribable curling in his chest.

he loves sitting and talking with you about the latest show you're watching, telling you about his "coworkers" and "juniors" (sometimes he has to stop himself from giggling about it) and how annoying his latest day at work was.

sometimes it's sort of vague and vapid but it's fun when it's with you. sometimes it's deeper stuff, real stuff ("my oldest friend passed away recently" "one of my juniors at work has a complicated family situation") and you seem to always know just what to say. talking to you always makes him feel better.

he worries, sometimes, that he's not as good to you as you are to him. he tries - god, does he try - to show you the extent of his love, if he can't afford the words or time, then in deeds.

you're taken care of for the rest of your life, that was a given. the penthouse is in your name, various trusts set up in the impossible event of his death.

you have full access to a joint account that was actually just yours, set up for you by him - he just didn't feel like trying to convince you to accept the money.

he buys you things, of course. food mostly, to eat together, but also little trinkets and manga and souvenirs of the various places he goes to. little pieces of his life to share with you.

and when he can, he does do dates. every second he gets to spend with you is like gold, and he spends them all fully invested, eyes locked on you and yours, walking on air the entire time just from your presence. ready to talk about anything you had an interest in.

he's just that infatuated. satoru could talk for days to anyone, but you're the only one who'd listen, who'd chatter back just as enthusiastically. he wants you on speed dial every moment he's away.

shopping trips, too, he's always happy to play dress up, to dutifully compliment you even though privately he thinks you look best without any clothes -

and that, too, he does for you. he makes no secret of his affection for your body. spares not even a second getting to his knees, nuzzling against your thigh, cheeks flushed as he looks up at you with pleading eyes won't you feed me, pretty please, i'm starving~

he shows you he loves you. with hands and mouth and body, as a sorcerer should. silent curses falling from his lips as his body joins to yours.

it seems almost cruel of you to let him have this. why can't he live here forever? why can't he always be inside you?

satoru gojo knows he is the absolute last person who should be complaining about this, but why is life so unfair?

why can't he spend every minute of every day by your side? touching you? talking to you?

in his wildest dreams he's not killing curses or sorcerers or changing the world.

he's in bed with you, by your side from the moment he wakes up to the moment he falls asleep. that's his dream, just you being there, always.

he worries most of all what he'd do if you ever fought.

you're not the type - you "need space to calm down" sometimes, which is usually just you going back to your room. you "want to have a calm discussion" where you sit and listen to him and talk about feelings, and you have this way of making him talk.

you're good at communicating, at making people feel better, and understanding others. sensitive in a way that he's not.

you're never out to hurt him, even when he can tell his time away is grating on you, his constant absences and flightiness rightly off-putting.

you never argue with him, never make demands, and that's how you got together in the first place, the perfect match.

(it scares him, really, being made for battle as he is. where's your fighting spirit? wouldn't you cry and scream and beg if he was going to leave you? wouldn't you go to war for your love? he knows he would.)

but deep down he knows it's there. a massive part of his life is hidden from you - things that are important to him; his mission, his students, his power.

he doesn't know what to do, really.

he wants to keep you safe, unworried. he wants to keep this island of peaceful, mundane happiness in his life.

he wants you to love him, wholly and completely, for all that he is. he wants to hear you tell him he's doing it right. that you're proud of him.

there's so much he wants now, compared to when his life was just teaching students, killing curses, and waiting for the day he'd have to kill his only friend.

satoru isn't sure which one is better. because even though he hopes he can have you how he wants, and the rest of his life too -

he's starting to think it might not be possible.

[keypaa]

Astrology Observations No.4

<3 TW

I use the whole sign system

Mars-Saturn hard aspects struggle with sexual encounters at first and have a poor relationship with intimicy.They may loose their virginity later than others and that‘s good yk never loose sahahah

Mars in leo/degrees can be known for their drive (that one girl in my class is super intelligent and everyone knows that) Since leo rules fame it makes more than sence✮⋆˙

Moon in cancer (if developed) can talk about that they just cried over an quite little duck running around without being ashamed of pointing out their own vulnerability (ma sweethearts) That is because cancers ruler is moon

Venus in aquarius always have something to do with animes and they live for video games and their friends. Nevertheless you can be their partner but sometimes they put their friends first 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

Mercury in taurus thinkkkk before they talk, might talk slow and come of as seriøs

Wait jupiter in 3rd house just get a lot of money from family members $♡

Venus in 11th house post their favorite things online ( your pets, your playlists…) 💋

4th house in aries: your home environment is wild, full of chaos and passion at the same time ✮⋆˙

Saturn-Pluto: The relationship to your father changed or transformed you. Some people with this placement are not in contact with their father anymore or just see him once in a while

Moon-Jupiter individuals get lucky if they show their emotions (others try to emphasize with them or they get help) also depends on other aspects ☼

Trust me libra mercury knows how to charm others or themselfes out of uncomfy situations with their words

Mercury in aries try to help you through telling you the solution to your problem (you might get mad but they just wanna help) lovely cookies of mine

Lilith-Mc no one believes that you are innocent. Oh you are a virgin,they will assume you have stds because apperently they assume that you fucked around the town and bānged your friend friends their exes and boyfriends/girlfirends plus their grandfather-mothers

Uranus-Venus positive =tip try to work if problems in relationships accure

How Uranus-Venus hard aspects behave= They may jump to the next person and think that working on relationships are not worth it if you have serious problems or if they don‘t see growth quickly. But that doesn't mean that they will leave you just that they do not have time for bullshit

Venus in pisces need a lot of time to recover if they get hurt but they will die for you

Sag moon have the opinion that getting distracted is good (especially with friends,loved ones). These folks don't believe in telling you their feelings that much

Specific but scorpio pluto in leo degree are known for their dark deep feelings and pain

Jupiter in libra generation loves money, some more others less ˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Please listen Mercury-Asc people in combinition with Venus tense aspect with Mars, you are not ugly people always talked about your appearence and that makes you always think about how you look. Mercury=thoughts,Asc=Appearence. TW! Body dismorphia can be the case, if so I hug you and advice you to get help¡

Why do aries individuals often have some type of allergy it isn't normal anymore hahaha

TW! Most borderliners have intense aspected moons or gemini, leo or aries moons. Gemini moons have a maze of mind and will overthink everything and then turn into an empty minded person in one split second (typical for BPD), leo moons suffer from people pleasing and having a high opinion of themselfes turn into low low self esteem issues, and them aries moons show their emotions impulsifly or act on them impulsifly. I am not a professional but I am here to make you aware, I observed it in soo many charts, you know best if you show signs! It is more than important to get help :)

Neptune-Asc everyone seems to guess your age differently

Let me know if you would like to have a more dark astro observation next time

Luuuuuv muah

03:02 PM

555

© 2023 the content is subject to the copyright and responsibility of the author

[marigold-hills]

@wolfstarmicrofic | August 25th: win | 1000 words

CW: attempted mugging, mentions of broken bones

Remus Lupin is well aware what he looks like: the wrong side of lanky, with a nasty scar across his face from falling off a bike at five, and a nastier one down his sternum from heart surgery at fifteen. Weak knees, weaker ankles. Breakable wrists. He surrounds himself in soft things, wears sweaters and cardigans even in the summer, when his varied blood deficiencies keep him cold in the heat.

He doesn’t usually go out in the dark. His library desk job keeps his work hours to a respectable 9-to-5, and he’s not one for bars, or clubs, or any other sort of entertainment that would require him to be out in the evening.

Today? Well, there was a book signing at the library. It run late, and he was having a nice chat with the writer, managing to keep his fan-boying to a minimum (it was the James Potter, after all). There was wine, which he doesn’t usually partake in. So: it’s well past his work hours, he’s pleasantly buzzed and on a high from a successful social interaction. Then he sees him.

It’s probably the most beautiful human specimen Remus’ has ever seen. He was stunning in the library, where he accompanied the James Potter for the signing, and he is just as lovely now, in the dim unflattering streetlamps. The hair, the bone structure, the shoulders. Everything about him made Remus decide not to say a single word to him, only gape half-open-mouthed and watch from across the room.

(Doing it now, as he as good as follows him down darkened South London streets, feels roughly stalkerish. Again, Remus knows what he looks like. He’s got too big ears and slightly too big front teeth and definitely too big a nose. He wouldn’t even try to talk to someone like this, not for all the embarrassment in the world.)

Remus is slower, especially with the crutch he has had to use since he broke his ankle a month earlier. His foot is still in the awkward boot-cuff. There should be no way of him catching up, so no chance of an interaction, successful or, more likely, otherwise.

Out of the shadows, appears a figure. Hooded, wide-shouldered, knife-wielding. The beautiful friend of James Potter doesn’t notice until the man is almost on him, knife pointed at the Nirvana logo on his T-shirt.

Remus can’t hear what’s said, but he doesn’t really need to. He’s lived in South London all his life, from Lambeth to Peckham - he’s seen his fair share of muggings.

Something comes over him. Maybe the late hour, maybe the wine. Maybe the impossible wrongness of a man so pretty being in such a situation. Whatever it is, before he even thinks about it, he’s somehow caught up.

Next thing he knows, he’s behind the mugger.

Next thing after that, the heavy, metal leg of his crutch makes heavy, violent contact with the side of the mugger’s head.

He falls to the ground in a heap of limbs and dark fabric and dropped knifes and for a terrible second Remus thinks:

“Fuck. I think I killed him.”

Through the wine-haze or adrenaline-haze, or maybe your-dodgy-heart-finally-gave-in-haze, he realises he said it out loud.

The pretty man leans down and checks the muggers head, then his pulse. “He’s fine. Well. He’s probably concussed. That was a mean hit,” he looks at Remus with something like appreciation in his eyes. “Thank you, Remus. Lucky you were here, or he’d have probably made off with my phone.”

“You know my name?” Remus asks rather dumbly. The answer is obvious and self evident because the man just said it.

“Of course I do. I’ve been watching you all night,” the cheekiest smile Remus has ever seen. The man prods the prone mugger with the tip of his shoe. “Who knew it’d take something like this to actually get you to talk to me.”

“Huh,” Remus says. (He has a degree in literature, he should really be able to string a sentence together with some intelligence, but apparently it has abandoned him.)

“Should probably call an ambulance.”

And that brings Remus out of his stupor. “You’re hurt?” He just stops himself from checking the man over, hands itching to reach out and feel for the damage.

“For this one. Can’t really leave him just lying on the side of the road.”

“Oh. Right, of course.”

“And they’ll probably arrest him, while they’re at it. Win-win.”

“Silver linings.”

The man – Remus doesn’t know his name – laughs at that. It’s oddly dog like and on another person it’d be too much, too loud, but on him? Perfection. Remus wants to ask to record it. Maybe playing it in the evenings will cure his insomnia.

Adrenaline wearing off, Remus realises that his broken ankle hurts way more than it should. More than it has for a while. The same amount as…

“I’ve re-broken my ankle,” he doesn’t mean to blurt out loud. There’s immediate concern in the man’s face. Remus half-sits half-slumps down to the pavement. “Yup. I’m pretty sure I’ve re-broken my ankle. Fantastic.”

That’s what he gets for chasing down would-be-muggers down the streets of London. It’s probably some cosmic price to pay for hearing that laugh. It must be delirium: Remus thinks it’s worth it.

There are gentle hands on the side of his face, guiding it upward, and gentle eyes full on sincerity. “Thank you for helping me,” the man says again, “let’s get you to the hospital, alright?”

Through the pain-haze or wine-buzz-haze or maybe you-just-assaulted-someone-haze, Remus becomes shameless. “Will you stay with me?”

“As long as you’ll have me,” the man says and the way he looks at Remus? Like he doesn’t have too-big ears and too-big a nose, or the scar, or the hair he can never get to behave.

Remus, more than shameless: “forever, then.”

The laugh he gets in return is somehow even better. There is nothing mocking about it. Instead, agreeable. “Alright. Forever.”

NOTES:

does this count as a meet-cute?

[woniverse-writes]

“MOTH TO A FLAME (preview)”

Bada Lee x Fem!Reader

prologue ⟶ part one

summary: y/n l/n is the youngest team member of Jam Republic, competing in the second season of Street Woman Fighter. she’s got the sweetest smile and the most vibrant personality, but she also may or may not be the biggest hothead on the show when it comes to defending her teammates. apparently that’s attractive to Bada Lee.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: swearing, reader is described as cute and petite… sorry to my non-tiny friends.

Starting something young and continuing into your present adulthood can be pressuring, especially if that certain thing happens to end up being your career. For y/n l/n, she's still very young and just in the beginning stages of her career. Still in college, but turning her studies to be online right now due to her current situation, she's working towards a business degree, and doubling that major with dance. 

So you can imagine she's a little high-strung since on top of being a college student, she's currently in South Korea, competing as a member of Jam Republic on the second season of Street Woman Fighter. Although y/n is always busy, she's always got a sweet smile on her face- which is why many people, including other dancers, have been drawn to her. It's also why she's currently facing a sea of dancers, waiting to be picked for the "no respect" battle, since she and her fellow teammate, Audrey, received the most votes as the worst dancers.

"She looks kind of scary now…" Yoonji whispers to her teammates looking at y/n. Redlic looks in the direction Yoonji is looking at and laughs a little.

"What're you talking about? y/n? She looks like a kitten trying to be a lion." Now the rest of ManneQueen is staring at Jam Republic, specifically y/n l/n. And sure enough, instead of her usual bright and smiling self, her eyes are fiery and to put it bluntly, she looks pissed the fuck off. Waackxxy was the one to turn to Redlic and go-

“No, she’s definitely got something fierce going on right now… I hope she has a lot of battle cuz I’m kind of interested in her now…” causing the rest of her team to laugh and agree. On the other side, Jam Republic is having their own discussion regarding y/n. 

“I think you should just wait and see- maybe no one will even pick you as a “no respect” dancer!” Ling tried cheering up her younger teammate.

“No I want someone to battle me- I want everyone who voted for me and Audrey to come and try us” y/n fired back with her arms crossed as she leaned back into her chair. She really did look intimidating, especially with her makeup and hair done. Audrey on the other hand was not feeling the same fire-

“Uhm, maybe we don’t need everyone to want to battle us…maybe just a few.” Audrey started to reason, 

”Cuz I don’t know if you remember, but there were a LOT of people that voted for us as the worst dancers…” which caused Kirsten and Ling to sigh, and y/n to roll her eyes and clench her jaw.

“Audrey, my love, I’m very well aware of how many people think we suck-“ 

“You don’t suck-” 

“Thank you Emma, but please give me a second”

“Y/n take a deep breath and check your well-being”

She sighed at their team leader’s advice, knowing it was to help her out and so that she didn’t get too fired up with her teammates. It’s not that y/n doesn’t get along with them- it’s the furthest thing from that- but she gets very passionate about everything, and she’s a bit of a hothead. On top of all that, y/n is very protective of those she cares about, some of those people being her dear teammates.

“I’m sorry” she mumbles a bit, but ultimately huffs out the response. To which Kirsten replies with a motherly “thank you”, causing the others to chuckle.

“I just don’t understand how they can all collectively make the assumption that we’re not as good as them- for what? Why? Because we’re foreigners? Because we smile a lot? Because we’re pretty? To me THAT just sounds like jealousy” y/n continues to rant, frantically moving her hands and arms about, expressing her frustration- and her team just listens patiently for her to finish. Once she finally lets out her final huff and relaxes back into her chair with her arms crossed again, and a pout now sporting her face, her teammates can’t help but smile gently at their youngest member- some even trying to hide giggles and chuckles of endearment. 

“Y/n, sweetheart, you’ve gotta remember- not everyone thinks like you- I wish they did, but they just don’t” Kirsten starts to comfort her, and places a hand on her head, trying her best to calm down the passionate young girl. 

Kirsten always felt like asking y/n to join her team was one of the best choices she made in regards to being a leader. She knew the younger girl had experience in kpop dance styles, having performed at multiple k-con stages and doing countless covers from other groups. Kirsten also saw an unlimited amount of potential in y/n and saw how quickly and easily she absorbed everything around her. The only thing she was worried about was how young she was. it wasn’t a huge concern to her since their whole team was pretty young, but when it came down to it, Kirsten ended up adding Audrey in as well, and the two hit it off right away! To be completely honest- Kirsten felt as if the three youngest members were her babies. Audrey being the sweet angel of a golden child, Emma being the responsible oldest, and y/n being the chaotic troublemaker who’s always trying to pick a fight with someone for hurting her sisters. 

“You just need to remember that we’re here to dance, have fun, and gain a new experience… alright?” Kirsten has successfully reduced her gremlin child to a less angry (but still very pouty) version of herself.

“…alright”

“Thank you. Now please stop pouting, you look like a kicked puppy and the other will probably start picking on you soon” Kirsten teased lightly, which caused Audrey to join in and start poking y/n’s cheek, leading to Emma tugging gently on her hair, and Ling poking her other cheek, all while Latrice coos at her and pats her head. This all of course causes her to start whining and complaining playfully at her members teasing.

But the endearment for each other doesn’t end outside of the members' little cluster. the love for Jam Republic, and specifically y/n, has now spread to the entire studio. as everyone originally took notice of the youngest member’s slight temper tantrum, most didn’t really know what she was ranting about, but they could tell she was not happy at all. The two teams sitting nearest to Jam Republic happened to be Bebe and 1Million, who originally both had members that intended to battle y/n, but after hearing her rant, some opinions changed. 

“I like her style! She’s very passionate” Harimu laughed as she explained her newfound interest in Jam Republic’s youngest. 

“That’s what I was thinking- I don’t even wanna battle her anymore, I just wanna watch her tear up the stage with all her energy” Redy chimed in.

“Do you think we should go up to her during break and try to become friends?” They begin to laugh and joke around about their shared interest in y/n. But their team’s older members aren’t quite on the same level of endearment.

“Ya- you two should be trying to take her down before befriending her, don’t you think?” Lia warns the two girls, who just look at each other and start giggling.

“I don’t know if I’d necessarily wanna go up against someone with her temper” Redy starts off jokingly, but Harimu is already coming back in a teasing mood-

“Yeah cuz you’d probably cry.” Which has Redy letting a gasp-  her jaw dropped to the floor, eyes wide with shock and (false) betrayal.

The other team seated next to Jam Republic isn’t as chipper as 1 Million though, as their leader is trying to convince her team to stick with their guts.

“You wanted to battle her at first for a reason- why would that reason change if you still haven’t seen her dance?” Bada asks Cheche, Sowoen, and Minah. They all voted y/n as the worst dancer because her style was too “pretty” and they thought she relied on having cute expressions. Bada didn’t entirely agree with her teammates, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She even originally stated how she thought y/n’s style was refreshing and youthful, but she was worried about how she’d be with darker concepts.

“Well- I mean- she seems kinda crazy…” Cheche halfheartedly joked, but in reality, she was being completely serious.

“Why? Because she’s angry? She should be angry. Being voted as the worst dancer isn’t something to be happy about…” Bada replies calmly. No one really says anything, as they all are just trying to process whether or not their leader is defending their opponent or just provoking them. 

Bada sighs and stands up to stretch. She wants her team to not only be amazing dancers, but critical thinkers too. Of course Bada wants a win, but she also wants her team to be strong- and if going up against someone with untouchable morale will force her teammates to be stronger, then that’s what they need to do.

She also may or may not be personally interested in seeing what y/n is made of. After all, she caught her attention originally with her bright smile and explosive personality- Bada thought her bold expressions and reactions to things were an endearing contrast from her cute or refreshing facials used when dancing. So now having seen y/n in stark opposition, she’s even more interested.  

Even in the short period of time she’s known her, Bada’s interested in who y/n is and what she can do- especially since she didn’t expect that much personality to fit into such a petite person. She wants to understand her better- even more so after hearing her passionate rant about wanting to prove everyone wrong. She almost feels delusional for being as interested in y/n as she is, but Bada really can’t help but feel drawn to her- like a moth to a flame.

notes: thank you to everyone who read!! this is my first fic so i was a little nervous to share it- especially since it's not really all that interesting yet. but i thought it would be better to write the not-so-interesting stuff as an intro/preview/prologue, so it didn't take up space in the actual fic. I'm hoping to have the first full part up by sometime in the middle of this upcoming week. i want it to encompass the whole three episodes that have aired so far, so there's a lot i wanna write lol

[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think killua realizes the intense feelings for gon are actually romantic in nature? He is still a kid, one who was pretty sheltered in life until recently, so I doubt he has a full grasp on the full spectrum of human emotions, especially since he probably had to repress them a lot as a child/interacted very little with people outside of his family.

I personally think he has at least some idea of the nature of his feelings by the time they separate, though it's debatable to what degree. Even though you're totally right that he's grown up isolated from most of society and his emotions were suppressed growing up, he's shown having some awareness of romance and sexuality (examples: his reaction to Leorio wanting to feel up Leroute in the Hunter Exam, knowing what shibari--a type of bondage--is in Yorknew, his panic/misunderstanding about what Gon meant when talking about going on "dates" in the past, and understanding the potential situation with Meruem having Palm/a woman with him in Chimera Ant arc). His parents are married and he does have older siblings, and he presumably had internet access as well, so those might be potential reasons why he's less naive than Gon.

I think the Palm situation may have forced him into some kind of tipping point when thinking about the meaning of his feelings. Plus, he was the one who used the word shinjuu (lovers suicide) to describe what he was planning to do with Gon, which is a word that seems to imply some awareness on his part. Surely he would have heard of that in the context of doomed lovers, which is most commonly how it's used.

There isn't enough to go off of in canon to say for sure he knows, though--and I've discussed lately how the friends vs comrades crisis within him may be "coding" for him trying to understand his romantic feelings, which would lead one to think maybe he doesn't totally understand, or perhaps he's in denial to some degree even if he does partially understand his feelings.

I personally think he has a jumble of thoughts and emotions about it that are hard for him to untangle fully, and they may shift constantly. By Greed Island and beyond he seems pretty smitten, so it's unlikely that he wouldn't notice his feelings and consider what they mean as time goes by, but at the same time he might struggle with admitting it fully to himself, and even if he has internally admitted it to some degree he might go back and forth on how much he's willing to explore or deeply consider it. It's very possible he has some level of shame about it--feeling he "shouldn't" be having these kinds of feelings about his best friend, especially with how vulnerable even just their friendship can be for him.

Post-separation, I could see him grappling with these feelings and trying to push them away, while still trying to preserve the "normal" friendship part of their relationship. After all, in Chimera Ant arc these intense feelings only made things more painful and difficult for him, and I'm sure he believes Gon doesn't reciprocate. I don't think Killua will succeed in getting rid of these feelings even if this is the case--hopefully eventually he'll be able to express them to Gon in some form.

So anyway, that's my half-analysis and half-headcanons on the matter. I go back and forth somewhat myself on how much awareness I think he has about it, but with how analytical and contemplative he is I do think it's something he would internally consider a lot, so it feels unlikely to me that he has no idea at all, especially post-Palm date. I'm curious what others think as well, as there isn't a clear-cut answer for this. Thanks for asking!

[wormlette]

smaller than everyone chilchuck being understood by autistic laios. is this anything. (i am small and autistic and felt deeply represented by your post)

Oh my god I spent so long writing a FUCKING RESPONSE and tumblr deleted it kill me. ANYWAY “is this anything” friend this is everything. 🤝

I think the two of them are uniquely able to understand each other bcuz in summary, the things they are both most vulnerable and affected by, the things that have probably damaged their lives most, are things they cannot conceal from others. Laios’ autism and Chilchuck’s size. There’s VERY good discussions on whether Chil is totally normal, autistic but very good at masking, somewhere inbetween, or even whether he’s cis, and those would all INFORM this conversation but whichever way you read him, he is socially aware enough to see that Laios is NOT. And it drives him crazy and he is constantly frustrated and trying to teach him to be more aware of himself as the party leader and just “be more normal”. In my opinion this is because Chil KNOWS how much it hurts to live with a part of yourself you can’t control that makes it hard to make your way through the world — in his own way, he is trying to take care of Laios. This may be both for selfish (he wants a good stable party and that requires a good socially savvy party leader) and selfless (chilaios…) reasons, but either way. It’s essentially just there in the text To Me.

Chilchuck is probably extra frustrated because, at least as he seems to see it, Laios COULD choose to shave off those rough edges of himself and “pass” as respectable/“normal”. (Another reason I kinda think Chil has his own autism thing happening. In my experience, shamefully, I’ve been least patient with people who I see as like me but they just haven’t figured out how to stop the world from hurting them like I have.) (I imagine chil often thinks things like. why don’t you just change. Don’t you see how much easier it would be for you. Don’t you see how much you’re letting the world hurt you. Don’t you know what that will do to you, over time.) meanwhile Chilchuck cannot stop the rest of the world from seeing him as either childLIKE or just straight up a tall-man kid. No matter how professional he is or how scathingly he can insult people or how much he can drink — he can’t stop what people SEE when they LOOK at him (this also makes him a great trans character To Me). I think Laios knows exactly how this feels. He’s not seen as a kid, so it’s not exactly the same. But despite having everything Chilchuck would like to have (tall, looks manly, socially respectable in appearances)… Laios is never going to pass as normal once people get to know him. He ISN’T socially aware. He CAN’T pretend to be someone else anymore, not once the story starts.

So autistic Laios keeps bumbling through social situations that make people want to fucking hunt him for sport. He can’t say the right things, and when he has tried to be himself, we can assume it’s been very poorly received in the past, both when dungeoneering and prior as a little kid. When he’s not being manic about his monster special interest he seems to constantly be doing an Autism Stare that serves to keep people away from him and his sister.

The fact that Chil and Laios both, to some degree, can’t hide what they hate most about themselves, makes them uniquely able to understand each other. And treat each other with sympathy/empathy underneath it all. Laios is the one out of their party who most treats Chilchuck as an adult with agency (understands the stress of his work, defends him, lets him steer situations, listens to his advice, never demeans him or gives any indication he thinks he’s a child altho he did assume Chil is younger than him). If the daydream hour extras that give rough indications of who joined the party when are canon, Chilchuck is the party member who’s been with the party the longest, almost since Falin and Laios founded it, despite thinking of Laios as “the party leader comma I GUESS”. He keeps trying to beat lessons about leading parties into Laios’ head despite many ppl around him considering him a lost cause. As I’ve said in other posts…. He could probably just fucking walk out at any time and either retire or get a different party, and we know Chil has no problem hitting da bricks, but he doesn’t.

The things about themselves that make them most able to relate to each other are also the things that sometimes make them grate against each other (Chil berating Laios in the way only a guy with a major complex can and Laios pouting about it lmao. Laios continuing to be a big cute socially inept dummy anyways.) BUT THAT’S LOVE, BABEY!!!

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 4 - Eddie

Summary: A Day in the Life of Corroded Coffin's Frontman: Eddie Munson

Word Count: 990 - damn, cut it close

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: A tiny bit of angst, protective Eddie, probably bad representation of playing guitar--I don't know much music lingo.

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

An average Saturday in the life of Eddie Munson.

It could be the title of a magazine article all about him.

But no.

It was some creative writing exercise that his English teacher assigned. Something about understanding character development? And a chance to know themselves a little better.

“It’s not like I don’t already know how to write about characters,” he grumbled as he scribbled his pencil across his notebook. “The NPC’s don’t create themselves.”

This assignment would be easy.

---

Eddie Munson starts his day with a well-balanced breakfast and some light exercise.

He rummaged through the kitchen for something that tickled his fancy; Wayne had just gone grocery shopping so he had a good selection to choose from.

He could make eggs and toast and have it ready and warm for when his uncle got home from his shift.

Or have some good old cereal and milk while he watched cartoons, and then offer to do a load of laundry that consisted of his band tees and Wayne's work shirts.

He chose the latter.

And the balanced breakfast--juggling several boxes, a carton of milk, a bunch of bananas, and two bowls and managing not to drop a single thing-- was coincidentally also his exercise.

His afternoons are often filled with adventures of varying degrees. Most often, he ventures around marketplaces, perusing the wares of the merchants, and showing his companions how to haggle for the best deals.

"There's an art to it," he explained to Gareth as they strolled aisle by aisle. "You can't just go for the obvious choice. Sometimes you need to see what fate has in store for you."

His friend stopped in his tracks.

"We're sneaking snacks into the movie theater," Gareth stated, voice heavy with confusion. "It's not a life or death situation. Let me just get my damn Raisinettes."

He reached out to grab the desired box off the shelf and Eddie's hand clamped around his wrist to stop him.

"First of all," Eddie got right up in his face. "The raisinettes aren't even on sale, my very young apprentice. So you might as well just buy them at the theater. What are you gonna save? A quarter?"

"It's just a quarter."

"And it's in a box. Not a bag. It's gonna rattle. Old man Miller is gonna catch you immediately and then you can say goodbye to the rest of your money."

"So what would you suggest?"

Eddie's smile grew wide and feral as he directed Gareth's attention across the aisle, where plastic-wrapped pastries were displayed in abundance.

"May I introduce you to the two-for-one Hostess snack cakes?"

Occasionally, he finds himself in dangerous situations...

"Do you think they're going to see Ghostbusters too?"

"I dunno Gare, just ignore them."

"They're looking at us."

Eddie stared at the showtimes above the box office window so he could avoid the stares of the boys in letterman jackets standing at the side of the lobby.

"It's a free country," Eddie's shoulder quirked in a shrug. He kept his calm so he wouldn't scare the younger boy, but he was entirely aware of their surroundings. "That's what my uncle always says, they're free to look."

"What if they say something?"

"First amendment, freedom of speech."

Eddie was about to continue, to tell Gareth that there was nothing to fear, and that they couldn't go about avoiding all the nice things in life just because they were afraid.

...perilous, even...

But he finally looked at the younger boy.

Really looked at him.

Gareth was pale and his eyes glassy. He couldn't stop himself from staring back at the jocks who watched them and whispered and snickered. His one hand was clenched in a fist, and the other was clasped around his wrist, rubbing circles into the joint nervously.

And he was shaking.

...but he knows how to pick his battles, especially to protect his friends.

"Hey," he knocked his arm into Gareth's, pulling the boy's attention from the jocks. "If you don't want to stay, we don't have to. We can swing 'round Family Video. See if they have Monty Python?"

Gareth's eyes strayed towards the jocks again, but Eddie's words stopped him.

"I'm pretty hungry too. I don't think twinkies are gonna cut it," he patted his stomach. "We can order a pizza. Whatever toppings you want."

And Gareth couldn't help but nod and follow Eddie out of the movie theater, grateful for the boon that was offered.

No conditions.

No judgment.

At the end of the day, although his dreams might be fantastic, he is anything but that.

It was late, later than his uncle would be happy to hear about if this came back to him. The neighbors weren't fond of his music but he couldn't help himself.

He had his stereo cranked up, as loud as it could go, so he could hear the intricacies in the recording. The soft, almost imperceptible rasps of fingertips on guitar strings.

And he tried to emulate those notes on his own guitar, as he pressed his own fingers against the fret board along with the music, without strumming. He'd have his chance.

He isn't a hero.

He didn't need to hear it. Not until he was confident he had the passage and the technique down.

He didn't have music lessons or books or sheet music.

This was how he learned. Through sound, and touch, and intuition.

And once he was ready, he slammed his hand against the stereo to silence it, then started playing.

His head bobbed to maintain the tempo as his fingers flew across the frets and he strummed rapidly.

He isn't a rockstar.

He echoed back the bridge almost perfectly, wincing as he heard the mistakes, and then circled back again, fixing those mistakes.

Rewind then play, rewind then play.

Again and again.

Til he could hear the roar of a crowd as he got it right.

He's just Eddie.

[takingasterix]

Should I mention animatics on my college applications?

Sorry for the random post, but I need some hyper-specific advice about applying to college! For context: I'm American, applying to undergraduate programs in the USA. I know I'm very academically strong (35 on the ACT, 4.0+ GPA, NHS, etc. etc.), and I have a decent amount of extracurriculars. Honestly, however, a lot of my free time in high school has been spent doing art and animatics. I've been advised many times that putting my art on a social media page and linking it on my application could help show colleges what I spend my time doing and show that I'm well-rounded. My only problem is that most of my art is fanart. I'm probably going to compile the best stuff into a portfolio and link that in my app, but I'm not sure whether or not to link my Youtube channel.

I have about 1.6k subscribers, which isn't anything in the grand scheme of Youtube, but it is significant enough to show the effort I put in/the impact of the videos.

However.

The problem is that my animatics are ENTIRELY fan content. They're horrifically embarrassing to the point that literally no one in my life knows the channel exists except for a few close friends. Worse, many of them are MXTX-related (which is a well-known queer series), and some of them are explicitly ship-related. I'm well aware that fandom stuff is considered weird by the majority of society, and all of it is a far cry from the professional image I'm trying to show on my applications.

That being said, I feel like I need to show colleges evidence of my art, and what I spend my time doing. I need advice! Should I just link a portfolio of the best, most "normal" art I have? Should I also link my Youtube channel? If I do link my Youtube channel, I would definitely polish my pfp, description, and banner... but should I go back and private the old, really awful animatics? Should I private every video related to ships? How roughly should I comb through it?

I'm well aware that my art is objectively bad, so I'd appreciate if you don't bring that up; I'm not applying to art school or an art degree, I'm just trying to show that aspect of my life. I just really want advice on whether or not I should link the channel, how to do that if so, etc. etc.

Sorry if this is a really stupid question!! It's actually wildly embarrassing to post something like this, but it's such a specific situation that I feel only tumblr would have the answer. I know this probably won't reach many people, but even if just one person has good advice, I'd really really appreciate it. Thank you! <3

[omg-hellgirl]

I’m glad there is some level of awareness of Angie’s contributions (creative and otherwise) to David Bowie’s success & legacy. For a man who was a god to the “freaks” of the 1970s, especially during the glam rock / glitter rock era of the 70s, I perceive his dynamic with Angie as a mirror of the corporate world / sexism in the corporate world (and in society in general) where women are exploited for their brilliant ideas and/or have credit taken from them by men. Like, absolutely love David Bowie’s music… so, so much. Just an infuriating analogy I’ve noticed. Sick of women being exploited in general but especially for their intelligence and creativity.

hey anon, thank you for saying that. Angie Bowie was part of David Bowie's story and actively contributed to it, mainly by encouraging him towards the glam rock path that EVERYONE appreciates him for. Not taking away his merit as a good singer and performer, but there is more than one account of Angie pushing him in that direction and supporting him; she was a force in his early career. It's absolutely frustrating that David (according to Angie HERSELF) and his fans have always tried to erase her.

For those who don't know (most of them): Angie studied in Switzerland and had and theatrical experience — years of it! And unlike David and his friends/associates, including the people in charge of managing and promoting him, she had nine-tenths of a degree in marketing.

Angie was very popular with Bowie fans in the 70s and was very kind to them. She spent hours answering fan letters and even wrote to them from JAPAN. She fought in Japan with the local police to defend them. After the divorce, David's attitude changed and over the years his fans became what they are today.

It's a shame that many fail to recognize the extremely sexist and absurd attitudes he had towards Angie just because they don't like her. Ask any of them why they don't like her and you will get an unsatisfactory answer either because David himself didn't like her or because she said something about David in public that they didn't like.

I won't put it all here — there is all the content on my blog under the Angie Bowie tag — but in her book it is implied that he even used photos of her in sexual moments with other people to put her at a disadvantage in court. Would this be acceptable by today's standards, or any standards? Do we have a name for men who do this nowadays? Also:

Angie attempted suicide in Switzerland at Christmas time in 1977, when she arrived and found out that Zowie, contrary to her expectations, was in Berlin with David.

He put a gag clause in the divorce to force her to keep quiet. Not very feminist or cool, right? Not very liberal. Wearing skirts and makeup and all the gender revolution didn't help him be a better human being with Angie.

Is there anything to be called besides Parental Alienation for a mother who in 2016, even after David's death, needs to send messages to her own son via Twitter?

How many years of being away from his mother and knowing about her only through David's distorted words did it take so that even after David's death they didn't have a mother-son relationship again.

No one has the right to disrupt a mother-son or father-son relationship, and that's what he did. His fans still won't admit it.

Anita Pallenberg, Yoko Ono, and Angie Bowie are demonized while fans can forgive paternal neglect, domestic assault, hard drugs, underage girls, and the parental alienation of several rock stars. I'm definitely aware of and recognize the sexism and, dare I say, misogyny of some fandoms.

Thanks again for this, anon. These aren't even all the sordid details of the pain David Bowie inflicted on his first wife. It's also not possible to describe all my sadness about this situation — I could spend hours talking and crying about it. I'll keep posting about Angie in the hopes that one day the blindfold will fall off people's faces.

‼️and shout out to Keith Richards who never belittled the role and influence that Anita Pallenberg had on him and in the whole rock history even though she hurt him badly; he was always FAIR and respectful to the mother of his three children‼️

[wo-onu]

╰₊✧ ﾟ⚬𓂂➢ [another yan!oc, he’s been an oc of mine for quite some time but let’s yandere-fie him]

* ・✦⇢ contents :: yandere!oc character info + various hcs

* ・✦⇢ warnings/cw :: profanities, general yandere themes, obsessive behaviour, sexual themes though nothing too explicit, manipulative behaviour.

* ・✦⇢ additional notes :: can be read as gn. also, no particular traits mentioned except dimples on darling. again, no particulars but it is written with feminine chubby + plus sized reader in mind though not explicitly specified in the post.

:: feedbacks are appreciated and welcomed! so are requests~ my ask is always open

BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER FOR AGES AND I CAN’T SEEM TO GET IT RIGHT !

yandere!oc character profile + general hcs !

ʚ ﹒ ﹕ ̟乀 kang haejoon :: 강 해준

—— character profile:

name: 강 해준 | kang haejoon

a third generation chaebol who’s now managing his own finance company. has risen to the top at the mere age of 25 because of his innate talent and even more impressive hard work. juggled getting his degree and masters all throughout all that and helping with his family’s company.

age: 27

yandere type: manipulative and obsessive yandere

distinct traits: laidback disposition, pretty eyes/long lashes, broad shoulders, tall height, disarming, easygoing smile, two moles under his right eye.

friends: 2 best friends since high school, park yoonseo, a lot of other friends/connections

likes: sweets (though, he gained this affinity in high school when he saw his darling either chewing on sugarfree gum, or sucking a lollipop), physical touch, listening to music, sleeping, your dimples.

dislikes: disrupting his sleep (unless it his darling, he won’t even close his eyes), not being able to feel you, anyone bothering you

hobbies: watching you while in the same vicinity, gaming (got into it cause he heard you mention it but now he’s hooked and he can’t stop), cooking, playing games,

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~ ☆゜general headcanons !

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ a romanticist through and through. though, it was probably influenced by his privileged upbringing. super big on “do what makes you happy”.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ he’s genuinely kind, especially to those he holds dear. would solve his friends’ problems like it’s his. if they want to handle it themselves, will give 200% moral support always. however, once you cross him or betray him. . . he pays it back tenfold.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ so charming yet he’s not exactly aware of how potent his charm is. don’t get me wrong, he knows he’s charming and he uses that as a weapon most of the time. but people actually worship the ground he walks on but he probably wouldn’t careless even if he knew.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ has love his darling ever since high school. although, he has never made a direct move. as mentioned in his profile, he used to be neutral about sweets until he’s noticed his darling always having them, now he’s also naturally craving a lollipop or any form of candy throughout the day.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ can talk his way out of any trouble, if he even has to. his pretty face mostly does all the work for him. if not, he’ll solve any situation easily. after all, no one could’ve ever made it to the top and not know how to handle getting out of a fickle, right?

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ despite his prestigious background, he insisted on only going to a semi-private school. even in university, he only ever attended a state university— although, he also attended a well-known and respected one.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ more humble than people realise. that is because he once heard his darling say there’s nothing cool about flaunting your parents wealth, as you have not acquired it with your own power. it’s what gave him the push to be as successful as he can at such a young age and establish his own company. although, he won’t deny that his privilege has played a major part in that in the first place.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ was more of a two-faced asshole before he met his darling. although, he’s not a bad person per se, a lot of his goodness was because of something his darling has said unknowingly.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ has had. . . relationships that is not his darling. to be honest, calling them relationships is too generous. they were no more than flings to him. though, his darling is the same.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ adopted a stray kitten he saw you petting in high school. he was more of a dog person but since you seem to adore cats more, he’s sure he can use it to lure your heart later.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ loves listening to music. again, heavily influenced by his darling. he saw you always with earphones in, sometimes even headphones.

ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏~ ☆゜yandere tendencies !

・✦⇢ manipulative as all hell. constantly memorising you and since he’s all about you, it’s even more of an easier role to play.

・✦⇢ because of his upbringing, he knows exactly how important ones standing in society is. because of that, he’s the type to also not directly dirty his hands. he would rather make a pest lose all their credibility, status, and watch them slowly fall in the depth of their own personal hell rather than giving them the mercy of death.

・✦⇢ he’s so charming that he’s always so far on people’s list any time shit happens. he has perfected all his scheming behind the scenes that it’s as easy as sleeping to him.

・✦⇢ so, so obsessed with his darling. as previously mentioned, he’s already all about you. despite never being in a relationship with you back when he first started liking you, he claims that he still knows you better than anyone. and in all sense, he is quite right. after all, haejoon even knows what and how you feel despite having unclear or no emotions on your face.

・✦⇢ it’s mildly unsettling how he knows exactly how you are. you could have a poker face and he’ll suddenly squeeze your hand and ask if you’re not feeling well. if you asked how he knew, he’d say something like “well... your breathing is different” or something along those lines. if you point it out, he’d immediately, but somehow convincingly change topics or play it down.

・✦⇢ has to be touching you one way or another. his mind will be relentless otherwise. cant focus on his tasks unless his hand is on you, doesn’t have to be sexual but it goes there more often than he’d like to admit. he’s also too stubborn to not be in the same room as you so you have to deal with his overbearing tendencies. (yes he’s a pda type of man, this is something he can’t really help). if he can’t touch you cause of the setting you both are in, then his eyes are constantly on you. you can rest assured that at the end of his gaze, there is always you and you alone.

・✦⇢ has everyone’s dirts and everything else they wanted to hide. he is also the type to not be satisfied with someone just losing their job. he will make them lose everything else, or else he will not be satisfied.

・✦⇢ he’s a patient man and he’s been waiting for you since high school. there’s no deterring him into being someone you want and need. if all fails, he can just keep you. of course, he will make it seem like it’s all your choice. and that it’s in no way coercion. he won’t take it that far as long as you stay free. he can wait until you’re ready, but no one else is allowed.

・✦⇢ there was once in high school where you got a partner, he was going to do something but he saw the happy vibe you had and decided he’ll stay quiet first. and he thought that if he ruined that guy’s reputation, it will badly reflect on you too. however, he actually witnessed your break-up confrontation where you overheard your partner backstabbing you and hearing him say he only dated you for a bet. case was, he has severe inferiority complex so he tried dating you to make himself feel better. well, you took him head on afterwards but haejoon still made sure that there would be no bright future waiting for that useless extra.

・✦⇢ once heard his darling say they prefer the city life and the hustle bustle of it all; so he made sure to build his office building in the most prime location. also have shares on his now friends amazing apartment complex building. he also nagged his parents to have a headquarters in the city making both of them exasperated about their son’s incredulous request. though, his dad did approve once he found out it’s because of a special someone. his dad thinks that the season of youth was truly nice.

all rights reserved © 2022 wo-onu. please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works in any platform

[fortune-fool02]

Pollito

Luis Serra x female reader

Requested by: anonymous

Ok, Im latino, and in my family and with a lot of my friends we use pollito as a term of endearment but some people who aren't aware of that take offense because it means little chicken. Could we have a Luis x reader where he keeps calling them pollito and they get upset because they think he's trying to insult them and they have a whole moment where he explains that not what he means by it&lt;3

Warning: No Spoiler for RE 4 Remake. Fluff.

I love this so much, it's so cute!

Thank you and please enjoy.

Looking back on this, there was a few questions that bounced around in [Name]'s head. Why did those people want Ashley so badly? What was their plan with this cursed parasite? But most of all: What the Hell was she doing here?

She was a researcher, brought on this mission to help Leon to learn more about potential dangerous pathogens and B.O.Ws, to gather intel and information. She had hardly ever been out in the field like Leon had. So, why on Earth was she standing in the middle of a plague-riddled island with a gun? Taking a moment, [Name] leaned against the building wall, her breathing rapid and sharp, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Leon, however, appeared unfazed as he checked over his ammo and reloaded his gun. Fear rushed along her body, sapping away her energy though she kept going. She had to, for Ashley and Leon. It gripped at her from the moment they encountered those infected people, the savage looks in their eyes, how they held no quarrel with charging weapons at them. Any attempt at reasoning with them was useless.

Still, [Name] tried her best to stand her ground. Even when Leon told her to move back and leave it to him to handle. She was dead-weight at this point. Thankfully, they weren't alone in their little quest.

Luis was a character indeed. A man riddled with a mysterious aura that only peaked her curiosity. Sweet flirtations spilling from his lips when it wasn't a witty quip or comment. The man was also a researcher, like her. Yet he held a bravery to him also, holding his ground against the infected. If he could do it, why couldn't she?

"Wooh! That was something, eh?" Luis smiled, spinning his gun a little before returning it to its holster. Pulling a tissue out, he wiped away the splatters of blood off his face before tossing it away. He leaned up against one of the crates that was spared from Leon's little rampage of destroying some to snatch potential bullets laying about.

"Yeah. Sure." [Name] hummed, trying to shake off the lingering panic. An axe had been launched at her head, missing her by inches as it embedded into the wall beside her head. At that point, she just froze. Luis having to step in to finish off the infected man before he launched another. Never in her entirely life had she had a close brush with death like that. Even when handling pathogens and experimentations, there were safety precautions put in place, ways to ensure the minimum risk of danger. Out here, there was no such thing.

"Oh, come on, pollito, give me a smile." Pollito? She knew some basics of the language to know what it meant. [Name] knew she wasn't the bravest but this was her first time in a situation as dire as this. She wasn't that bad of a coward to be called a chicken, was she? Embarrassment coiled inside her, chocking out the fear and clotting up in its place.

Her eyes tore away from Luis and looked down, pulling out some green and red herbs they got earlier, crushing them up to combine them together into a vial. They had shown to have some unique properties regarding healing, and often were of great use to them. She shuffled over to Leon and set the vial beside him without a word and turned to the small map they had, outlining the island and isolated sections.

They had to cross the lake still, now that they had the fuel for it. Luis having been trying to speak to her only to receive dry, short responses, if not a hum of some degree. Confusion painted his face at her sudden silent treatment. Leon told them to quickly check the surrounding shacks for supplies while he got the boat ready.

[Name] forced open some boxes and picked up any loose bullets or herbs that she found. The door to the small shack softly thudded as Luis stood there, his grey eyes locked onto her, swirling with a mix of concern and confusion.

"[Name], what's the matter? You've been awfully quiet." His question was only responded by a plain "nothing", that didn't satisfy his question at all. He walked over to her, closing the distance between them and had her look at him. "Tell me the truth, pollito."

Another wave of humiliation hit her and she could feel the light sting of tears threatening to build up behind her eyes. She couldn't cry now. "Look, I try my best here. I'm not used to this shit, those things out there! I'm a researcher who spent most of my career behind a desk or counter, not out in the field surrounded by murdererous madmen!"

Luis looked at her, listening to her pour out the built up concerns and worries. "So, I'm sorry that I'm a chicken but you have to get it." A moment passed before Luis softly chuckled at this. His warm smile lifting his face.

"[Name], pollito is a term of endearment for my family. We use it as a pet name or nickname, I'm not insulting you." He leaned against the table a bit, resting his weight. "I never once insulted your bravery. If anything, it's impressive."

His words cut through her, filling her chest with a pleasant comforting warmth, purging away the humiliation pestering her but moments ago. Luis smiled at her, noting her shoulders relax slightly as she took in what he said. He wasn't insulting her. He was just calling her a pet name.

"....oh." That was all she could say. She did feel a little silly now. Luis simply walked over and gently tilted her head up to him, a playful glimmer in his eyes.

"Do you think you can give me a smile, pollito?" He hummed. [Name] lifted her lips, giving him a small smile.

"Ah, there we go."