#Modern Boy in Faerun

[dragonagitator]

It's canon that our Earth is part of the same multiverse system as Faerun:

(from the Ed Greenwood Wikipedia article)

So if the Emperor had connected the steering tentacles slightly differently, the nautiloid could have plausibly realm-jumped to Earth during the opening cinematic and snatched up some Earthlings, too... including YOUR author self-insert fanfic protagonist!

Just saying. ;)

[parvulous-writings]

Oooh, I have a request idea!! How about Gale, Halsin, Astarion and Wyll or Karlach (if that's not too many ;-;) with a modern S/O from our world that makes them try a bunch of food from this dimension. I'd love to see their reaction to trying Soda or other Carbonated Beverages, and naturally seeing everyone's reaction to canned food - especially the kind that stays in the exact shape of the can even after you dump it into a bowl 🤣

Just imagine giving them this bad boy and being like "Bon appetit!" :D

I like to think they'd be horrified 🥰 Thank you so much !!

Summary: I do love me a little whimsical AU, I can't lie - so this MAY go into the realms of silly, but you know what? It's going to be fun! It also may be a bit all over the place... but you know what I think it fits XD The scenario is kinda the same for all of them - I hope that's okay!

Warnings: Some are a bit shorter/longer than others! Other than that... I don't think there's anything!

Notes:  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Gale

Out of everyone, Gale would probably be the most at-ease with you coming from another realm - he finds it absolutely fascinating.

He's asking questions all the time - is there magic in your universe? No?? What do you do, then??

You tell him about technology, and he is hooked. You start talking about electricity and immediately he's taking notes (mental or physical).

"I think I might actually have something you can try, Gale" you pull out of your pack a can of Coke (that somehow had survived the trip), and a tin of cranberry sauce that you had hoped to take home, before being whisked away to the land of Faerun. You offer him the can, and he just stares at it for a moment, observing it.

"And... what is this, exactly?" "It's a drink." "I fail to see how-" click "... Ah"

Isn't sure how the bubbles feel on his tongue - he almost spits out the drink the first mouthful he has. Doesn't mind the taste itself though - he would probably drink it flat, if he had the choice to.

"It's... Nice..." He seems mildly uncertain of this statement. "Though, I think I will stick to wine, and water..."

You telling him you can preserve food in metal near indefinitely? Pure 'teach me' moment. He will want to know EVERY secret on that front.

The tin of sauce confuses him. You tell him that it's sauce and he's eager to taste it - he's always on the look out for new flavours, as the self-declared cook in camp. Fish and potatoes can only keep you going for so long, until your tongue starts craving a new flavour.

When you present the unchanging... thing to him, he has no idea what to make of it. "That's... Not sauce. In fact, I don't even think that's edible - that looks like a health hazard."

He straight up refuses to use it that night, like he will not go near it, nor will he let it near the food.

Halsin

Halsin doesn't really talk about you being from another realm all that much - it doesn't overly concern him, now that you've got his trust.

He likes hearing stories of your life -even though you have to explain 90% of what you talk about to him, he's always eagerly listening to whatever you have to say.

Will not touch anything in a can - drink or otherwise.

"I... Do not feel right in trying this... my apologies."

You will not be able to convince him, whatever you try and do, he just... Doesn't want to listen to anything about that. If you keep trying to push him on the subject, he'll probably end up just walking away.

Though he's aware that preserving foods is probably a good idea for the long run, but after having heard the fizz from the can of coke? That's... A no go, for the time being.

Astarion

Astarion couldn't care less where you came from - so long as you're not going to stab him in the back, he's fine with you. You could be a crawling claw for all he cares - so long as you don't hurt him he really does not care.

Astarion doesn't typically eat anything other than his usual sanguine meals now that his affliction is out in the camp. This doesn't stop him from making snide comments on the food, though. And he makes especially snide comments when it comes to drinks - which he still partakes in quite happily.

"What do you mean... Fizzy?" His lips draw up slightly in a half-sneer, not being particularly drawn to the idea of... Whatever it was you were offering him. Though, he supposed, because it was you... He'd give it a go.

He manages to keep the beverage in his mouth after a sip, but the face he makes is beyond a grimace - clearly, he was not expecting that many bubbles.

Now when it came to the tinned sauce - or any tinned food for that matter... He'll simply laugh. "Now, I know we're short on supplies, darling, but... I don't think you'll get anyone to eat that." "Let me put it this way... If something like that was for my meal, I'd be running for the hills! ... And probably washing my mouth out with soap..."

"I am so glad I do not have to pretend I'm eating with you... Because that-" He points emphatically to the can-shaped food. "Would not, and will not, be going anywhere near my lips!"

Wyll

Wyll is curious about the realm you come from, but doesn't normally pry. He figures that, if you're going to reveal anything about your home land, you'll do it in your own time, when you're comfortable. If you start talking about your home and your life, Wyll will do the same, to show that he's not taking the conversation for granted.

Wyll actually LIKES carbonated beverages. He savours the feel on his tongue - it's like nothing else he's ever had before, and he's instantly wanting more. If you ever do figure out the realm-hopping thing, you'll have to bring him some more - possibly some different brands or flavours for him to try.

"So... These beverages... They can... Taste of flowers, and other delightful things?" Wyll hums pleasantly at this thought. "Well, I know we have... Similar things, here in Faerun, but I am most intrigued on your realms' flavours... As pleasant as it all can be, you can only handle so much of the same..."

Though canned food doesn't.... Really seem appealing to him, he'll still give it a good try! He's down to try any food at least once.

He's not keen on the appearance of the cranberry sauce, but he has some with some turkey you've roasted, and he's in love with the taste. Sure, the appearance could use some work, but beggars can't always be choosers - at least it tasted delicious!

Absolutely LOVES tinned vegetables. He's not sure why - he knows they've got a very different taste and texture to their fresher counterpart, but... There's just something about them that he can't get enough of. Tinned carrots especially.

If you give him the chance - and Gale for once isn't trying to make dinner - Wyll will try and find a way to include tinned foods. He will get everyone to like them, he's certain of it.

Karlach

Karlach LOVES hearing anything and everything about your home realm - from the mundane to the even mundane-r. You have a special tub to bathe in, not made from wood? And it has running water, like a river, that you can control?? That's one of the coolest things Karlach has heard of - and she longs for a way to try and bring that kind of plumbing to Faerun.

Karlach isn't fussed on the Coke can you offer her - she'll drink it, for sure, but if there's the option of another drink, then she'll probably opt for that first. Purely for the reason that it's a relatively new sensation compared to the other kinds of fizzy found in drinks across Faerun.

Like, fermentation has a kick, but in comparison, carbonation is a roar, that Karlach needs a little adjusting to - she has the best reaction out of the lot of them, I think.

"Whoo- that's... Hah, that's something, soldier... And how often do you drink this? Once a day? ... Several? Several cans of this a day?" She laughs quietly, shaking her head. "You're braver than me at some things, soldier."

However, when it comes to tinned food... She loves it. She's not even sure why - perhaps it's just the fact that she loves food. You show her the sauce first, and she doesn't even bat an eye at the fact that the sauce had retained the shape of the can. She sniffs at it, before just picking it up and taking a bite.

"A little sharp... But not bad!" Another bite. "You're meant to eat that with meat, Karlach," "Huh? .... Ah, well - still tastes good like this!"

She's not as fond of tinned veggies, but she'll still eat them. Normally dinner will now start with. "Aw, what? Don't we have anymore of that red stuff?"

[megs-98]

Megs BG3 Masterlist

Please feel free to check out my works or my AO3! :3 Everything is listed by character <3 If you want added to a taglist at all, DM me and let me know!

My AO3 Account

Dammon

It's Always Been You

Summary: Tav left Baldur's Gate after the final battle but years later something... or someone, drew her back and she had to find out why

Pairing: Dammon x f!reader (Tav)

Tags: Fluff, light make out scene at the end, mostly just Dammon being the sweetest boy

word count: 3.4k

Gale

No Extra Excitement

Summary: Tav comes back with the party after a long day exhausted but thankfully everyone's favorite wizard stayed behind to prepare a couple of surprises for her and they both have a lot of thoughts about each other

Pairings: gale x f!reader (Tav)

Tags: Explicit, fingering, vaginal sex, fluff, mutual pining

wordcount: 2k

Like You Mean It

Pairing: Gale x f!reader (Tav)

Summary: After a long, dreary day spent in Gale's tower, barely seeing him at all, you decide that you're going to get the attention that you crave. Even if it means Gale has to tame his brat with the help of a mage hand.

Tags: Explicit!, bit of a dom!Gale, use of mage hand, clothed nipple play, some voyeurism, male masturbation, riding, lots of praise, mutual orgasm (Please let me know if I missed any!)

Word count: 3.8k

A Gentle Touch Under A Canopy of Wonder and Beauty

Pairing: Gale x f!reader (Tav)

Summary: (This turned into a different take on Gale's love confession) Tav and Gale share a night together, saying, and doing things, that they need to get off their chest before they reach Moonrise Towers.

Tags: Explicit!, little bit of angst? (if you squint), expressing feelings, Mystra hate, female receiving oral, vaginal sex, sweet Gale, soft fucking, mutual orgasm, some religious themes during the smut (it's my favorite) idk I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this pixelated man.

Word count: 4.6k

Petals and Poems

Pairings: Gale x f!reader

Summary: Gale is off to work after making you breakfast, so you decided to go shopping and leave some gifts for him to find once he arrives home. Also Tara is peak mom in this.

Tags: None, just two idiots in love :')

Word count: 1.9k

Mesmeric Revelation Chapter 1

This will be a multiple chapters - it's a modern au (still set within Faerun but no magic or anything), slow burn, enemies to lovers fic between Gale and my tav Mara

Pairings: Gale x f!namedTav (Mara) & Astarion xf!named Tav (Fox)

Other characters: Hoping to get all the companions in even if it's a small scene, Gortash, Orin, mentions of Thorm

Summary: It's the start of a new school year at Chiontar High and there's been talk amongst the teachers about how the esteemed Professor Dekarios from Blackstaff Academy has joined the school's faculty. After a chance encounter between Gale and Mara, leaving her less than impressed with the professor, will the two be able to start a friendship and maybe something more?

Tags: Gale is a dickhead, eventual smut, slow burn, enemies to lovers, Astarion being incredibly sassy, just a good ol time

Halsin

There's A First for Everything

Pairing: Halsin x f!OC (Elyra)

Summary: (Taking place post game and featuring bloodlessbhaalbabe 's OC Elyra) After celebrating Love Day in Thaniel's Realm with the refugees and his love, Elyra, Halsin sets up a romantic evening for the two. He has something important to tell her before the fun starts.

Tags: Explicit!, mutual pining, fluff, love confession, f! receiving oral, inappropriate actually quite appropriate use of entanglement spell, vaginal sex, lots of praise. I think that's it

Word count: 2.7k

I'm Aching for You

"My mind has been haunted by your visage. Everywhere I looked, there you were; smiling that sweet smile, putting others before yourself, fiercely protecting your friends. During the nights that I could not get you out of my mind, I would turn into a bear and run halfway through the forest, yet your smell still lingered in my nose. Everything about you has beckoned me to you yet I could not."

back with another halsin x oc fic! this one for @stinadrawsthings 's beautiful tav, gia! hope yall like it! :) also trying a slightly different way of formatting these posts

Pairings: Halsin x oc!f tav (Gia)

Summary: As the shadow curse has finally been lifted, and your party ready to start towards Baldur's Gate, Halsin has asked you to meet him at his room in The Last Light Inn for a much needed conversation.

Tags: Mutual pining, making out, lots of praise, m & f receiving oral, fingering, light fem dom, vaginal sex. Really these two just finally fully confessing their feelings and fuckin like the oak father intended

Word count: 5.4k words

An Understanding

"You have a good heart, little one. One that I admire very much. It takes a special person to do everything that you have done, please don’t forget that.”

A/N: LOL i was big in my emotions the other day and i guess i just needed to hear a pep talk from halsin so i wrote a drabble. i think i'm gonna keep doing one shots of halsin and my tav mara and seeing how their relationship evolves

Characters: Halsin, f!named Tav (Mara)

Tags: Thoughts and talk of low self confidence, depiction of smoking, the slightest mention of death, halsin being a reassuring sweetheart

Word count: 1.6k

[weaveandwood]

hello there! i'm really enjoying both of your fics and can't wait to read the next chapter of weave and woods!

would you be able to recommend any other bg3 fics that you enjoy? maybe a couple that aren't popular/have many hits/are unique?

thanks! <3

oh my gosh, thank you so much my sweet sweet anon! (I am giving you a little smooch on your forehead). I am glad you're enjoying Weave and Woods! I had a very busy June, but I am planning on updating both Weave and Woods and The Bard and the Blade more regularly - once every 2 weeks at most, alternating (that's the plan anyway!)

And OH BOY can I recommend bg3 fanfic! Here are just a few of my current favorites with unique ideas/less hits:

Let Me Recite Their Demise by BestSandwichEver Gale Dekarios, hero of Faerun and god of ambition, winds up in a decidedly mortal form at Withers’ big reunion party. Astarion, resplendent in his Ascended Vampire form, is as vicious and jealous as his predecessor was, leaving his consort Calliope helpless and alone. Calliope and Gale find themselves forced to patch up the wounds left by Gale’s betrayal in order to solve both their problems, but will either of them live to see the final victory? This one just finished today and I am weepy about it. I loved this fic so much. An interesting take on Ascended Astarion, but the relationship between Calliope and Gale is chefs kiss. I don't know if the author has a Tumblr, or I would link it!

Broken Horizons by CheerySmores What would happen if the orb detonated post game? This is a pretty new fanfic but I love the premise and the main character, Ciri. The writing is beautiful and I can't wait to see how everything gets resolved - and I hope it does! (You can follow the author here @ponder-the-orb)

The Stars of Simril by Jourdane A one-shot, but one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I've ever read. I recommend reading everything but this author, her writing style is so poetic and lovely. (And if you don't already, follow her @sorceresssundries)

In Fathoms Below by @mumms-the-word A Disney's Atlantis-inspired AU. So creative and engaging. I love seeing the blend of the two properties - it works so well!

Pure Magic by purpleastersinseptember I'm not usually big on modern AUs, but this one really works for me. I also like that there are two Tavs who are twins, and both are really likable. This is a newer fic as well. (The author is also on Tumblr @purpleasters-inseptember)

Thorns and All by tavelspeth The story of Elspeth and Gale through the in game events. I love seeing how everyone takes the same game beats and makes them their own. This is a brand new fic so it has less hits, but I'd love it to see more traction. I love the author's Tav, Elspeth, who is arguably one of the hottest Tavs in existence. (You can also follow her here, her Tumblr is @elspethdekarios)

I could go on and on and on, but I am also realizing that all the fic I read is pretty much Gale x Tav. I recommend following @stories-from-the-sword-coast for other recommendations! I've seen fics from many of the characters posted already.

[amaranthsynthesis]

Underdark drow sex culture has a lot of really different assumptions than the surface world. (Ex-the socially dominant group is going to often be the receptive partner during sex. Idk where that would go exactly, but I can't see them coming to the same conclusions as the surface world or ours.)

Obviously, Ballard was dealing with a lot at the time (burning of house + social transition) but I was wondering how the culture change affected him beyond 'oh boy, that's some racism'?

I know the joke about DND and the forgotten realms lore is 'some guy was really weird and horny about this set dressing so that's why it's Like That' and unfortunately. I'm on board with the guys who were weird and horny about Drow. In a modern, transgay informed way, but also I will admit I think it's a fun sexy little sandbox and I'm in there chewing on my plastic shovel. I've got some notes and some passages jotted down for both the repro horror fic and the vaguely meandering Imton memories, I'd love to got more properly into it some time to be honest.

The lecture on procreation and reproduction made him feel cold and small, blood-blood-blood beating in his ears as they showed him a picture of a woman atop a man, taking his penis inside of her. They told him how she took her pleasure from him, that that was his role―seed and service. It had dawned on him in horror that he was more than he thought. Not a child, not a knife, but one of these adults-in-the-making, like the illustrated woman with her broad hips and heavy breasts and strong, defined shoulders. Like the guardswomen. Like the Matron Mother. The narrow man in the illustration, the lithe consorts he had glimpsed only a handful of times in their draping finery and painted faces… it wasn’t him, it was for him.  He unfocused his eyes and watched without seeing everything else they showed him, tired of it all, letting the diagrams and words blur so he would simply not have to think about them any further.

I think moving up to the surface as he traveled to Baldur's Gate was in a lot of ways a step back into the familiar! Being read as male aboveground afforded him, if not to quite the same extent, the same level of basic respect and autonomy he had been used to as the heir presumptive of House Halvyriin. At the same time, trying to emulate the type of masculinity that he was used to seeing and appreciating from a distance--as decoration, as performance, as something effete and dainty--was going to evoke a very different response. In the same way that I think Faerun isn't past sexism, I don't think it's fully escaped homophobia either. So, yes, Ballard can be a man, can be greeted as a man and exist as one, but not as the kind he'd like to be, and he has to trade that precious/beautiful/treasured masculinity for some butch attempt at camaraderie, to stave off any kind of hostile attentions.

In the same way that he could more than take care of himself in the Underdark, as an unprotected male, responding to harassment with violence draws too much attention. He's already viewed as effeminate and weak and duplicitous, just for being an elf and a drow, specifically--he has to make some decisions about how else to display himself to make the journey to the Gate as smooth as possible. I think it becomes second nature so quickly that it takes year for him to remember it wasn't always his intention.

[maithefluffychicken]

I was at work and I started giggling all alone because, you'll see.

Modern setting Faerun - Friends au for our BG3 beloved companions.

Bear with me.

Astarion - Rachel, appearing suddendly all dressed up in a wedding suit (elven style) in the middle of Baldurs Perk caffé. He's looking for his forever bestie Shadowheart-

Shadowheart - Monica, who has a weird and not at all healthy relationship with her mother, Shar. Shadowheart asks Astarion what's happened and Astarion, well, he simply couldn't marry his forever fiancé Cazador.

Gale - Ross, who makes his entrance all sad and defeated because his wife Mystra, who broke up with him months ago, just took under her magical, etheral tutorship a new apprentice. Gale is sure Mystra is dating this new person.

Karlach - Chandler. She's a slave of her job, but she takes everything with humor, sometimes self-deprecating, sometimes too weird to understand her, but is the best friend Wyll could ask for.

Wyll - Joey, the handsomest boy and he knows it. All he does, it's for his family and friends, and wants them to be proud of him. He left home pursuing his dream but ended with an awful boss who seems to enjoy watching him suffering.

Lae'zel - Phoebe, no one understands her, she's too weird, too intense. She believes in things no one else shares, and her biggest trauma is that her mother died but then she discovered that her biological mother, Vlaakith, is alive and that she gave her in adoption.

And that's just the beginning of my silly friends au. Can you imagine Gale dating his forever crush, Astarion, at last? Can you imagine Gale yelling "WE WERE ON A BREAK" again and again?

No offence, I love Gale, I just think it suits him xD what do you think? I'm gonna write down my friends au shenanigans so I don't forget.

[khadaj-ballad]

Modern girl/boy/non-binary pal in Faerun when👀

[mostlydamned]

About Tav

Name: Tav (unknown last name) Race: Human Class: Draconic Sorceror (Blue Dragon) Background: The Dark Urge Age: Verse dependent (21-ageless) Height: 5'5" (165 cm) Hair color: Aqua with white stripes (Dark brown/black) Eye color: Glowing blue on black (Blue under glamour) Birthplace: Unknown Date of Birth: Unknown (He will claim the 25th of Leaffall(October)) Residence: Faerun (verse dependent) Personality: Tav has the personality of a golden retriever boy. He tries to do what is right and be a good adventurer. He has energy to spare and usually runs from place to place to keep himself busy. He wouldn't hesitate to help someone on the side of the road who needed his help. But deep down, there is what he calls the Dark Urge trying to compel him to chaos and death. When he gives in, he is maniacal almost, willing to lash out and hurt anyone he sees. These breaks are infrequent unless he is staying still for too long.

Notable features: Draconic scales scattered about his body. Eyes glow more during spellcasting

Abilities: Spellcasting: Tav is naturally attuned to lightning and Thunder magic, but he knows various spells and cantrips. Due to the Dark Urge and his draconic bloodline, he can access Lightning breath. He can alter his spells on a whim to double them, make them go further, bigger, etc (meta magic).

The spell list will be in a different post and be updated as I change it.

BG3 verse: He does not remember anything of his life before being infected with the tadpole. The only thing he knows is his name and the Dark Urge.

Modern: Cannot remember his life before 16. He knows basic information and knowledge like a high school degree. Uses glamour magic to hide his draconic features. He makes his money by using his magic to help out other magical creatures. His spare time is used for playing video games and watching all sorts of TV and movies. (Big Weeb Energy)

[menageriemadness]

Pancho’s Myopic Movie Review - II : Dungeons and Dragons - Honor Among Thieves

Part I: I Roll to Seduce the Dragon

Ah! At last, a true fantasy flick that would make Roger Corman eat the script out of sheer jealousy knowing that he himself, the king of schlock, would not be able to replicate it even with a trillion monkeys plunking away at hypothetically hyperbolic typewriters.

Yes, dear readers, it is once again time for a Myopic Movie Review from your humble narrator, JP Pancho, fresh from overseeing a new batch of films delivered to the Menagerie via semi intelligent rocks rolled downhill toward a small Tibetan village.

2023 gave us many thrilling and unexpected outcomes, Zelinsky, hallowed be his name, kicking Putin in the teeth, an indictment of a former president, and Paramount producing what is likely the be the best fantasy flick of the decade - D&D: Honor Among Thieves.

Our story takes place in the D&D campaign setting of Faerun ie the Forgotten Realms. Actor turned director Frankie “the Destroyer of Box Offices (and orifaces)” Daley teams up with small time director Jonnny “Boi” Goldstein and deliver a pithy, action packed, and simple adventure that harkens back to the golden era of 1980s schlock with a modern flair for comedy, on screen table humor, and a real multi million dollar studio budget.

What we are left with is a stunning masterpiece of epic and small scale proportions. Even the stakes, which continually raise throughout the script never turn into saving the planet or the Realms themselves, just saving a single, albeit famous, city from the sinister mechanizations of an evil Thayan scheme. Overall - it’s low stakes, and for that, dear readers, your humble narrator is enterally grateful.

I saw this movie alone after a really rough day of feeling hopeless about the future and frustrated with the creeping walls closing in around me. I decided to go see it, bought the tin bucket hat and bladder buster cup, and tromped inside the theatre to find myself the only familiar in the whole town who wanted to see this movie opening weekend. It was empty.

What I saw blew my mind from the first 10 mins.

I laughed. I laughed so hard I cried. I even teared up a few times at some of the genuinely simple and heartfelt monologues and troubles the characters faced. When we came to the pivotal “all is lost moment” I was completely subverted when they all simply sat on a stump and had themselves a group hug. SIMPLE.

That’s all I have to say about this movie. There’s nothing insanely clever or deep about this plot, dialogue, or characters. It’s simple. Simple. Simple. Simple. And I love it. Theres a Druid who doesn’t like people, a barbarian with a penchant for halflings, a Harper bard who’s given up on life, an uptight Thayan paladin who doesn’t understand turn of phrase, a wizard who sucks at wizardry, and a conman who cons his way right into my heart. Nothing wild, nothing new, but the actors really did a great job making me feel like it’s a motley band of nobodies thrust into plans way above their level range. There’s a giant bridge that they need to cross, but it’s rigged with deadly traps. As the truly bearably unbearable lawful good paladin explains the intricate manner in which they need to cross, someone sets off the trap and the bridge collapses. That’s it, nothing more. No huge danger, only a new obstacle they have to work together to solve - just like the tabletop rpg.

When they see the city in peril and they have a literal ship filled with gold and all Chris Pine can say is “ah, shit,” and turn the boat around (because they all need the xp to level), definitely says it all. I remember my own experiences in rpgs where me and the party did the exact same thing. We turned our asses right back around and we defended the town, because that’s what heroes do.

The simplicity of the plot along with the heartfelt, funny, endearing characters and their clear motivations drives the plot and keeps the action quick. I love that everyone has a moment of defined growth as well, either letting go of something or learning to overcome their own insecurities. It’s never anything truly massively deep, but it’s real problems we all face - imposter syndrome, loss of loved ones, trusting new people, and learning to let go of the past and embrace the now, looking toward a brighter future. There’s plenty of wonderful moments where I can just see a party of adventurers on their own little D&D adventure getting told what epic things are happening in game, but this time we get to see it live action and in person - the obese dragon (great lore reference from Forgotten Realms for all you nerds), the exquisite Druid chase scene, beating up a hobgoblin in prison, Jarnathan’s escape, the old west street battle with the red wizard (and a tumbling basket - lol), a reference to the D&D cartoon during the Games, and seeing Hugh Grant’s face on the Goodyear blimp - chef kiss 😚 it’s a treat.

Speaking of live action and in person, the special effects are absolutely incredible. I haven’t seen such a good mix of CGI and practical puppetry since probably The Sorcerer’s Stone, and Jarnathan and the dragonkin and the furries are all charming and made me almost spit out my popcorn because I wasnt expecting such good puppets and animatronics.

There’s a scene where our heroes get sucked into the ground. I was shocked to discover it was all practical - they literally dug a pit and had them sink in it. Praise Helm!

What more can I say about this incredible film? Much, much more, but unfortunately, dear readers, all good things must come to an end, and your humble narrator needs to be off on a special task for the Menagerie - mucking out the vile Mephits who’ve taken over the water closet.

I give this movie an arbitrary score of one childhood and a late night college D&D session out of 7. If you haven’t seen it, please go watch it. Mind you, it’s not the best movie ever written, it’s not the best acted movie either, but it’s full of whimsy and charm, and I’m pretty sure Roger Corman is hastily writing a script to combat it, if only to cash in on the zeitgeist.

Alas, our time in the Menagerie has come to a close. Until next time, dear readers. I hope all is well in your world, for if it is so, then it is as well in mine.

Your Humble Narrator,

J. P. Pancho

[acecasinova]

2 and 3 for Lazarus, 9 and 10 for Hasr'Thal, 22 for one or more ocs of your choosing, 25 as well for one or more, 27 for Keev, 4 for Ardezo, 1 for Edelweiss, im very tempted to ask 14 for like any character just because I’m p sure a good few of the ocs are already dnd characters abdjjfkt, that’s all I’ll send for more maybe but I don’t wanna be annoying but wanted to ask for multiple ocs

Not annoying at all~! @obscurelyscandinavian almost always sends a bunch for a lot of different characters when I reblog these, too~ It's fun to talk about multiple blorbos~

Lazarus:

What genre (not counting the one they’re in) would your OC thrive in?

Let him into a grungy movie!!!! This isn't really a genre but Lazarus NEEDS to be a Lost Boys vampire he would thrive SO MUCH. On that note, urban fantasy or perhaps something that's more pure horror than Barovia (He would thrive as a monster, but like, for the WORST reasons bc he probably wouldn't have the morality chain he has now)

What genre would your OC do badly in but it would be hilarious or interesting to watch?

G-dddddd it would be so funny to throw him in a dating sim/slice of life, or more light hearted fantasy/slapstick because any type of focus on feelings would knock him WAY off balance and the "rules" of the genre would prevent him from physically injuring anyone else lmao

Hasr'Thal:

If your OC wrote fanfiction (or if they already do), what type? (fix fic, ship, crossovers, AUs, smut, etc.)

Hmmmmm... He's a VERY serious little guy, but going off of "drow like playing intense and days long strategy board games" type hc, I think if he wrote fic, it would be really heavy on the politics and really crunchy world building, with the characters as more of a vehicle for that. He'd be VERY intense about the lore but any fic would have to have like 800000 layers of separation from the rest of his life because NO ONE CAN KNOW HE DOES THAT.

How would your OC do in the last book/movie/tv show/game/etc. you read/watched/played?

LMFAO NOT HASR'THAL ON GAME CHANGERRRRRR,,, He'd 100% get way too worked up and competitive about it- absolutely the type to have Brennan level unhinged rants, for SURE (but he's 4'7 so it's far more comical)

Keev:

In a murder mystery, what role would your OC play? (e.g. detective, sidekick, wacky suspect, rival investigator who gets in thew way, red herring, true culprit)

....Can he be the victim~? (I kid, I kid- Bo don't beat me up,,,) He’s a smart cookie! Resourceful and quick minded, but he doesn't really enjoy the spotlight, so I think he would fall into a sidekick roll. Keev is good for tagging along and observing, then bouncing ideas off of others, but he doesn't have a lot of faith in his ability to read people, so I don't think he would want to be the main detective accusing anyone of anything.

Ardezo:

What media does your character enjoy? (For characters in settings that aren’t modern Earth, could be media from their home setting or what they’d like in a modern Earth AU)

He likes reading in his main setting (ayyyyy Faerun)- lots of books and scrolls and music (Not too much exciting stuff when you live in a dragon death temple, though there's lots of access and contact with the Underdark, so maybe drow parties lol). In a more modern earth type setting, he'd probably be REALLY into things like Lockpicking Lawyer, Fascinating Horror, REALLY love audio books so he can listen to books while he works on stuff (different poisons or toxins, maybe histories of how to use that). He'd be REALLY into practical special effects and honesty probably be fascinated by fursuiters. (He's not ashamed by any stretch, about his scales, but he's a little annoyed he can't display or hide them with easy like his siblings can, so sfx transformations would be his sh-t lol)

Edelweiss:

Was your OC influenced or inspired by any particular fictional character(s) when you made them?

Not particularly for Edelweiss! My main influence for him was making the cutest, most pastel and fluffy looking murderb-bard~ (who's going to suspect the airhead who dresses in pinks and gold of being a hag-blooded college of whispers bard~?)

Any:

What type of Avatar The Last Airbender-type bender (or non-bender) would your OC be? Any bending specialties?

So lesse.... Ironically for my dumb drow and vampire, I think Hasr'Thal and Lazarus are probably fire benders. They're both aggressive and driven (to different degrees) and while Hasr'Thal prefers to use his spells to assist the others in his party more than directly fight, his personal beliefs are rooted in passion and ruthless motion forward. Lazarus is more straightforward- he's a monk, he's fast, violent, and gives into his base instincts probably too much, and he is GARBAGE at defense.

Keev and Edelweiss (despite being a direct blood descendant of an ICE hag) are probably air benders- Keev tries SO hard to be a pacifist and focuses his spell choices on things like slow or haste, with abjuration thrown in, he hits hard WHEN he does, but he focuses far more on evasion. Edelweiss is a bit more bombastic, but he's been flighty and nomadic almost his whole life, blowing in and out of town on a whim. His spells (outside of his innate ice abilities) are mainly focused on causing fear, listening to things unseen, and spying. An argument could be made for waterbending but tbh that's a bit clichéd?

Who WOULD be a waterbender would be Fion (boy's probably a little TOO into bloodbending, honestly- he's dancing way too close to taboo spirit work right now and then there's all the murder...) Ardezo is also probably a waterbender- tempted to say he might be a non-bender, with his complex about ONLY being a draconic sorcerer when his siblings are half dragons, but he IS still very magic and his style is very "hang back, don't be seen, poison or strike when they're distracted" and he worships a dual God of death and undeath, so fluidity in all things are his motto

What would be your OC’s My Little Pony cutie mark?

I was never really into MLP so these might be funky.... Hasr'Thal has an ouroboros (He's mad about it but that's what you get when you want to end the cycle of violence with an act of incredible violence) Lazarus might not HAVE one yet, or it just recently showed up, as a red vine climbing into stars. Keev has maybe a pie, or a simple hearth (bc despite being an adventurer, all he wants is to be a baker). Edelweiss also probably had a late.... branding?? But it's a storm cloud ;3c Ardezo just wants to have stronger dragon blood so baaaaaad that his is probably just a shadow dragon silhouette lol

Any:

If your OC was a Dungeons and Dragons character, what would their class be? And/or: If they were playing D&D, what kind of character might they play? (these aren’t necessarily the same thing)

LMAO almost all of them are! BUT we've done games inside games or thought about it before so I can answer what class they would PLAY in addition to what they are lol

Keev- He's a shadow sorcerer (with a few levels in abjuration wizard) and also a forever DM when he ran it IC, but if he were to make an idealized version of himself, he would be a Paladin of Devotion - though he wouldn't draw his power from a God, just faith in other people

Lazarus- Shadow monk! We did a one-shot where I DM'd as Laz but he would make an assassin rogue (because he's a cool edgy boy~)

Hasr'Thal- Warlock, mainly pacted with an archfey but he kinda maybe made a second pact with the Void that desires the heat death of the universe oops??? If he made a character it would be an INSUFFERABLE wizard because he's definitely not bitter at ALL about not getting to finish schooling to become one himself.

Edelweiss is, as listed above, a College of Whispers bard, and would probably play the same in a game, though he might play a "nicer" college (and maybe not use a fey type race)

Ardezo- draconic sorcerer~ (shadow dragon lineage- NOT a black dragon thank you very much) He might play around with rolling up a rogue, but he'd multiclass bc I think he would miss the magic lol

[dragonagitator]

BG3 fanfic idea:

Modern Character in Faerun fic in which the author self-insert suffers from whatever chronic illnesses and disabilities the author suffers from IRL and Shadowheart inadvertently cures them all the first time she casts Lesser Restoration for something.

It turns out that you weren't that far off all those times you'd joked back on Earth that "God nerfed me by giving me [condition] because he knew I'd be too OP without it."

And all that extra effort you used to have to expend every day just to minimally function? That was like a lifelong intensive weightlifting program for your willpower because you were constantly forcing yourself to do things despite all the pain, fatigue, brain fog, nausea, etc. Once you're freed of the shackles of your chronic illnesses and disabilities, you're able to utilize that power in ways chronically healthy and lifelong abled people could never dream of.

Title idea: "Traded My Spoons For Knives"

Lore caveats: Lesser Restoration canonically cures the conditions diseased, poisoned, paralysis, and blinded. If you're missing body parts and want them back then you'll need to wait for the 7th-level divine magic spell Regenerate, which can't be learned in game because character progression is capped at level 12 but should be achievable fairly quickly in a post-game story because clerics and druids get access to 7th-level spells as soon as they hit level 13. If that causes you to inadvertently regenerate body parts that you didn't want back, the 9th-level spell True Polymorph can permanently (with your consent) change your healthy/whole baseline to something else. You'll need a level 18+ wizard to cast it, which Gale was before the orb since he was an archmage, and it's certainly plausible that removing the orb would allow him to bounce back to his old character level without needing to grind XP to get there.

(Inspired by memories of taking Adderall for the first time. That was a REVELATION, y'all. You mean I wasn't just stupid and lazy this whole time? This is what I can do when my brain actually works right? If my physical disabilities and chronic illnesses could also be cured/treated as instantaneously, I'd be unstoppable.)

(Also, how is it that as soon as I start writing my first attempt at fanfic, I start generating ideas for new fanfics faster than I can even write the ideas down much less ever actually write any of the stories?)

[my-favourite-zhent]

Fic asks for New Tricks, which I ADORE!

12, 15, 17 and 20 please <3

Awww tysm <3

This is gonna be a little long-winded so forgive me!

I'll tuck it all under the cut.

12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?

So in the original draft/plan of New Tricks later on in their relationship Rugan and Izzy were going to be at the same party. One that the Zhents were running security for (see how I cannibalized this for the opening?). One of the attendees basically derides Izzy's taste in men and in response she compares crows and peacocks. Crows are clever and loyal, peacocks are just loud assholes that can't leave the menagerie~

Basically, patriars need not apply.

As I got into writing though I realized I hadn't actually planned their meet cute and ended up reworking it to be their first meeting.

15. Was there anything you had to research for this fic? Do you usually do a lot of research?

I did a lot of listening to the audio files to try and get Rugan's dialect and tone right. It's really easy to go off memory alone and end up skewing the personality one way or another so sometimes I'll give it all a re-listen when writing dialogue. I did some googling of Lancanshire/Yorkshire accents and slang as well, for instances where I wouldn't know what word he would choose based on the audio files alone.

I also spent an inordinate amount of time on the forgotten realms wiki. I generally don't like anachronisms in fiction because I feel it takes away from the world building. In some cases where I wasn't able to find the Faerunian answer I would look up historical equivalents for medieval England (i.e. the use of a garderobe rather than a powder room). It helps that I've also read a bit of Salvatore's novels so I have some feel for Faerun (or at least 1370s Faerun).

Keeping to the lore has a secondary benefit of forcing me to work within given constraints and having to be more creative. For instance Rugan was originally just going to send Izzy till I looked up the price of a sending scroll, too rich for his blood!

On the topic of anachronisms I will also use etymonline if I suspect a word sounds *too* modern for the setting. Some words are surprisingly older than you would think. (i.e: the concept of a dive bar has been around since the 1500s!). I also try to do a pass on my idioms because some of those are surprisingly modern.

I don't generally write fanfiction, or at least not in years and years and years. However I do occasionally play tabletop and I like to approach my character research in the same way. Selecting a country/place of origin, what languages they would know, family background, should all colour the character's abilities and perceptions.

17. What was the hardest scene to write?

Ugh any scene that was not the boys banting or fighting was difficult for me. I can generally be happy with a banter scene after the first draft, fight scenes are alright, but smut I agonize over sounding repetitive and drama is by far the worst for me.

I think Rugan's general asshattery in Ch 14 and 15 and eventual softening, were the most difficult. I didn't want to stray from how he's characterized in his game lines (egoless, pragmatic, adaptable) but still wanted him to have some emotional vulnerability. First and foremost I wanted him to still feel like the same man as the game. I rely on @fistfuloftarenths a lot for feedback when it comes to his characterization, and she reminded me that sometimes he's allowed a little character development *as a treat*.

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

Hmmm that's tough one! I don't know if notice is the right word but something I hope people enjoy is the appearance of the other Gates crew Zhents.

In the game we see a bit of Rugan being a mentor to Olly even when he has to be pragmatic ("those that don't value their own skins", "me and the boy are expendable", "you're still alive, that's lucky", "and so does his coin", "painfully, I don't want to talk about it."). Rugan cares about Olly but he compartmentalizes that to do the job.

The other Zhents seem to have similar attitudes. You tell Sal you're one of theirs? In you go. Zarys is grateful you saved them, even though she would've killed them if they stole the chest. Karad warns you about the explosives, and Brem and Garias have the usual sibling banter (despite Brem's kidnapping victim being right there). Bellar outright says what they're all thinking. They're pleasant to you if you're not in their way, but if you are they won't hesitate to cut you down.

For better or for worse the Gate's crew are his family and shape his attitude and world view. This is especially clear in the cut content: he sold them out to survive, but he's broken because of it and can be convinced to leave the Zhentarim altogether.

So for me it was important that even though Rugan is the main character, that the rest of the crew were present as an ensemble for him to play off of.

If you've read this far thank you, and sorry for the rambles!

[jarebear20]

All right...BG3 ask meme for firbolg friend: each question ending in 2. :D (2, 12, 22, etc.)

for full transparency, firbolg oc is a modern character in Faerun sort of character.

Why did you pick the class you did for your Tav?

Oh boy, that has definitely undergone changes. Originally, she was a ranger, since that's one class I lean towards in dnd. Then I got started on the idea of a ranger/druid combo (hilariously foreshadowing the wyll/oc/halsin pairing) that I stuck with for a long time. Recently, however, I've accepted that realistically if I were to be dropped in Faerun, my first line of defense would be hitting people as hard as I could. So now the firbolg is a monk/druid combo :D

What is your Tav’s favorite school of magic/weapon type?

If she were able to utilize the schools of magic like a sorc/wizard could, she'd definitely go for the school of evocation. Being able to throw fireballs would definitely feel right

With martial weapons, she thinks you can't go wrong with a good staff. They're super handy outside of combat, and if you get a great one, you can do a lot of damage with it. >:D

How does your Tav act around their crush?

Like a fucking idiot Honestly, people might not be able to tell 'cause she'd act like she did around everyone even remotely attractive. She blushes extremely easily, so flustering her wouldn't take much at all. I say she'd act like an idiot because she wouldn't pick up on any cues as to if her feelings were reciprocated. So it'd be a nonstop circle of pining until someone realizes what's going and clears the air. As both Wyll and Halsin found out XD

How did your Tav get their scars, if they have any?

If true to form, she got them all for really dumb reasons. One scar definitely came over with her to Faerun, and its the tiny scar above her right eyebrow. That was caused by a ill-timed can tossed her way. The one on her lip came from an early fight, when her opponent was wearing gauntlets. And given how she's a bit of a klutz, I imagine there are a few burn marks from when she wasn't paying attention to a fire fire bolt spell.

What flower/tree/plant best represents your Tav?

Sunflowers. They're one of my favorite flowers, and represents my girl as the burst of cheer she brings to others' lives. They grow tall, as did she when she made the jump, and look like sunshine against even the bleakest horizon.

What is your Tav’s worst fear?

Losing her friend Meera. They've been through a lot together, and it would kill her if something happened and she wasn't able to keep her friend safe. It's easier when Astarion takes a shine to Meera, because then she knows someone else is there to take care of her. Until then, she'd do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

What meme describes your Tav the best?

[darth-salem-emperor-of-earth]

Character Meme: Kyrie Silbersonnen

I was tagged by @plushchimera for this character meme. Thank you! :D

I tag: @briarfox13​, @tessa1972​, @commander-krios​, @bewitched-elf​, @jeannedarcprice​, @a1thusa​, @badwolf626​, @jessicamariana​, @enchantment1385​, @julikidmxns​, and @ambellinaleander​!

GENERAL

Name: Kyrie Silbersonnen

Alias(es): N/A

Gender: Female

Age: 54

Place of birth: Triboar, Faerun

Spoken languages: Common, Celestial, Elvish, and Infernal

Sexual orientation: Pansexual

Occupation: Cult Investigator, Blood Hunter

APPEARANCE

Eye colour: Topaz

Hair colour: Bronze/Reddish auburn with a patch of white in her front bangs

Height: 6′2″

Scars and burns: She has huge clawed scar centered on her left cheek, several narrow or long gashes on her forearms, and one arrow scar on her right thigh.  

Overweight/Underweight: She’s actually neither. Due to her previous and current profession, she makes some muscle but is still lean and light on her feet.

FAVOURITE

Colour: Black, most shades of green, red, and darker hues of purple. She likes a few metallic colors like bronze, copper, and silver. 

Music genre: She does enjoy both jaunty or sober folk songs--especially ones that encourage people to dance or move about or rouse their spirits for a fight. If we’re going by modern music genre, she definitely would a rock-and-roll gal. She’d love all the different subgenres of rock, both old and new.

Movie genre: If there were movies in her world, her favorites would be Mystery/Thriller.

TV show: If TV was around her world and had shows, her types would action/adventure or period drama. Although she’d enjoy fantasy/sci fi thrills/adventure themed shows too. 

Drink: She can drink anything and chug it down in one sitting or savor it steadily. But for her favorite drinks, they are: rum, wine, beer, and whiskey. Second favorite drinks are ale, liquor, and mead. 

Book: She loves occult or supernatural-like books or magical tomes that lean more towards the cultish variety since she enjoys learning more about cults, how they operate, and what’s their main purpose or drive. 

HAVE THEY

Passed university: No, never even went to one. She had private tutors though and excelled quite well in her studies. 

Had sex: Yes

Had sex in public: Yes

Gotten pregnant: Not yet.

Kissed a boy:  Yes

Kissed a girl:  Yes

Gotten tattoos: No, but she wants one. She’s trying to figure out what design to get.

Had a broken heart: Yes

Been in love:  Yes

Stayed up for longer than 24 hours:  Yes

ARE THEY

Scared easily: No

Jealous easily: No, despite all the betrayals she has experience, she feels she won’t be jealous of a new partner unless they gave her a legitimate reason to feel that way. 

Trustworthy: That depends on who is asking. 

Dominant/Submissive: Switch

A cuddler: Not really. She’s awkward when it comes to that.

A kisser: Yes. 

In love: Once, she was. Both times did not end well for her. 

Single: Yes

RANDOM QUESTIONS

Have they harmed themselves:  Yes but it’s part of her profession as a blood hunter. 

Thought of suicide: No

Attempted suicide: No

Wanted to kill someone: HELL YES. She has had a lot of people on her “must kill” list and got a huge chunk of them crossed off. 

Rode a horse: Yes

Have / had a job: Yes

Have any fears: Yes, she has one. Kyrie fears that one day, Glasya and Mephistopheles will find her again and she’ll become corrupted for good and lose her soul in the process. Once that happens, she predicts they then will drag her to her one of their fiery domains and fight over who she should serve for eternity. 

FAMILY

Sibling(s): None, she’s an only child. 

Parents: Birth parents were a recently widowed human noblewoman and dedicated Solar warrior. Her adoptive father was a human nobleman by the name of Marquess Hoxha. 

Children: Doesn’t have any right now but who knows what the future will have in store of her. 

Pets: She had a dog in her youth, when she was the heir to Hoxha estates. He died soon after her adoptive father perished. Due to past and current circumstances, Kyrie hasn’t had the time nor the lodgings to have a new pet but would like another one day. Especially one that doesn’t mind she can technically shift into a lycan. 

[urdnotgrunt]

wordbuilding “wednesday”

i was tagged by the lovely @frenchy-and-the-sea, and i think i’ve already done this for sarula, so i’ll be doing my bootiful bard silk and my dumb boy tavish~

also i tag all of the idiots: @themilokin, @phoenix-failing, @kombits, @dalish-farther-roam, & @colonelcupquake

B A S I C S

full name: Kai-mal “Silk” (Emrys Lhoril)

gender: Non-binary

sexuality: Pansexual

pronouns: they/them

O T H E R S

family: Kelvynn Lhoril (father), Eliana Lhoril (mother - deceased), Glynn Lhoril (oldest brother), Feliks Lhoril (older brother)

birthplace: Dewhurst, Algarond, Faerun

job: traveling bard and adventurer

phobias: arachnophobia

guilty pleasures: Silk isn’t very guilty about any of their pleasures so none.

M O R A L S

morality alignment: Neutral good

sins: lust / greed / gluttony / sloth / pride / envy / wrath

virtues: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious

Agreeable / Disagreeable

Cautious / Reckless

Patient / Impatient (not too much)

Outspoken / Reserved

Leader / Follower

Empathetic / Unempathetic

Optimistic / Pessimistic

Traditional / Modern

Hard-working / Lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: Silk/Carris

ot3: Silk/they’re open to mostly anything

brotp: Silk + Crowfood, Silk + Four Shadow, Silk + Pimin

notp: Silk/Crowfood pls don’t

-------

B A S I C S

full name: Tavish Darros

gender: Cis male

sexuality: not straight??? he kissed a boy once

pronouns: he/him

O T H E R S

family: Sullivan “Sleuth” Aeron (half brother), Barovic Darros (father), Aderyn Darros (mother)

birthplace: Oppara, Taldor

job: adventurer at this point?? former ruffian

phobias: atelophobia

guilty pleasures: drawing

M O R A L S

morality alignment: Chaotic neutral

sins: lust / greed / gluttony / sloth / pride / envy / wrath

virtues: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

Introvert / Extrovert (he’s more of an ambivert)

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious

Agreeable / Disagreeable

Cautious / Reckless

Patient / Impatient

Outspoken / Reserved

Leader / Follower

Empathetic / Unempathetic

Optimistic / Pessimistic

Traditional / Modern

Hard-working / Lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: there are none......he a child........

ot3: again none.........

brotp: Tavish + Sullivan, Tavish + Werkese, Tavish + Breccia

notp: legit any familial things

[iknikblackstonevarrick]

my convoluted answer to the kravkeetz theory is based deeply on my personal and extremely thorough lydia and edward backstory headcanon so i’m gonna start this post with some tidbits from that:

lydia and edward never knew their father, he never even knew they existed because

their mother was a sex worker, they were unintentional but she kept them and did her best to raise them until 

she died of birth complications (when they were in their elf!late adolescence) shortly after giving birth to their younger half-brother, Keaton ‘Keats’ (who after some kravkeetz-agnostic research i have gleaned Griffin really just wanted us to picture as literally Fantasy!John Keats. Literally the poetry man but with elf ears)

he is not Kravitz, but remember how they have a dad, i’ll get back to him in a second

young lydia and edward take it upon themselves to raise their younger brother and do so successfully, but shorty after reaching adulthood he falls terminally ill. the rest is history, i hc he finally passed when he was elf!25 because that’s the age John Keats died at

anyways i hc their dad was like a dissatisfied nobleman with a wife who happened to hire their mother for the sake of some kind of excitement in his life

he also had a legitimate heir, a son, and guess who that was !

so kravitz is ALSO their half-brother, and if I ever read a kravkeetz fic i can rationalize it as just a timeline where they were raised by their dad instead. i can also handwave that their mother doesnt die in kravkeetz aus so as not to leave the poor poetry boy out in the cold because i created her and i control her state of existence

the most interesting part of this is the fact that it would still be the case in canon? i imagine l and e finding out they had a different brother who was a Death Cop would, at their wonderland elves stage just be like a sick cosmic joke

on the other hand kravitz finding out the most powerful necromancers in Faerun were actually related to him was probably (as is the case in a lot of kravkeetz fics) a motivator for his becoming such a staunch supporter of the natural order of life and death in the first place

anyways modern au where they all live together w/ the mom somehow and my sweet poetry boy and the bird boy both get to coexist