#Might run an ask game to get it out my system

[crashdevlin]

High Walls in Gotham

Author’s Note: I'm so happy to be back!

Summary: Jason has known Y/n since they were running together on the streets. Now that they’re in their 20s, Jason is Red Hood cleaning up the streets of Gotham with bullets and blood, and Y/n is White Witch, the criminal elite’s favorite fence and Black Mask’s favorite advisor. With their places in Gotham so opposed, does their past even matter?

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Word count: 3438

Story Warnings: a bit of angst and mutual pining.

~~~

When rain falls in Gotham, it turns an already-dark city into a cloud of ink-colored oil slick. The city doesn’t care, though. It keeps going through the rain. Businessmen do their business, taxis run their fares, criminals plot their crimes, and heroes foil them.

Jason Todd continues through the rain, too. Three parts hero, two parts criminal, and one part little boy who never really grew up.

My security system goes off to inform me that I have a visitor approaching the door of the apartment. A blur of black and red passes the camera as I pull up the video on my phone. I get to my door and open it, just as he raises his hand to knock. It takes him by surprise and gives me a chance to get a good look at him. Red hood and matching mask, brown fatigue pants, black and red boots. His eyes are grey today.

He covers his shock quickly and pushes into my living room. “Shipment of guns coming in. Big one. I want details.”

“Please, come in, Jason. Would you like anything? A drink or perhaps a lesson in manners?” I greet him as I shut the door.

“Save it. I want names, dates, times. Now,” he demands, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me.

“Come on. If I knew something, I’d tell you. Sounds like you know more than I do.”

His eyes narrow further and I can tell he’s wishing he could intimidate me like he does other criminals. Well, it’s just too bad for him that I know him too well. “Quit playing dumb, Y/n. You get your fingers into any pie you can reach in this city. Last time an arms shipment came through, you were the one who told me about it.”

“Exactly.” I cross my arms and look bored. “I knew something, I told you. This time I don’t know anything, so that is why I have nothing to tell you.”

Jason glares more before sighing. “Fine. Let’s play a game. You answer a question honestly, and I’ll leave.”

I smile and nod. “Sure.”

“Who are you working for right now? And don’t even try that self-employed bullshit. You’re always in someone’s pocket.”

I lick my lips and take a breath. “Black Mask,” I respond.

“Black Mask again, huh? Figures. He’s the only one crazy enough to work with you repeatedly without killing you. ‘Kay, next question.”

I put my hand on my chest in mock offense. “Are you trying to wound me, Jason?” I nod. “All right, then. Next question.”

“You dating him?”

“What?”

“Dating, fucking, whatever.”

I laugh out loud, the sound echoing through my suite. “Are you serious, right now? I’d never let Roman touch me! He’s rich but he’s a fucking psycho. I have standards!”

“So you aren’t protecting him because you’re screwing him. So why are you protecting him?”

“I’m not protecting him. Black Mask doesn’t need me to protect him.” I shake my head. “I don’t know about any shipment of guns. I swear.”

He stares at me, examining my face for any trace of deception. He sighs when he doesn’t find any. “Something’s not right. I know guns are coming in. I’ve heard a dozen people whispering about it, but no one knows anything.”

“Have you asked your former mentor? Or any of the other birdies?” I ask, taking a step closer to him.

He tenses at the mention of his former family, jaw tight and anger in his posture. “Damn it. You think they might know something?”

“I learned a long time ago that Batman and Robin know what’s going on in this city. Much to chagrin.”

“Yeah. Which means they know about you working for Black Mask. They know you’re working with any criminal who throws money at you.”

I blink at him a few times before smiling tightly. “I’m not a stripper; no one throws money at me.” I step toward my kitchen, turning my back so he won’t see my emotions on my face. “And I’m a small fry. If they know about me, I’m likely listed as ‘nameless fence slash goon number 3’.”

I grab a beer from my fridge and distract myself with opening and drinking it. “You think I believe you’re just a fence?” he challenges, following me into the kitchen. “I know you better than that.”

“What, exactly, do you think I do, then, Jason?”

“Black Mask keeps you around for a reason, Y/n. If you’re not fucking him, you’re advising him, and if you’re advising him…” He grabs my shoulders and forces me to face him. “Then you’re protecting him, and if you’re protecting him, you’re lying to me.”

“I protect myself and those I care about. Roman doesn’t qualify,” I respond, glaring slightly as I look up into his eyes. “Now, I answered your questions. I’m done with your game. You can leave now.”

I move away from him, intent to show him the door, but he grabs my elbow to stop me. “I’m not-” he starts, but I’m done with our conversation. I spin back, gun from my back holster pressed against his temple.

“Let’s not,” I say coldly.

He looks at the gun for a moment. “You’re not left-handed. Think you could actually-”

“Safety’s already off and I doubt accuracy would matter much at this range. Would you like to meet God again?”

I’d never pull the trigger but he doesn’t know that. He puts his hands up and steps back. “Fine. I’ll talk to Dick, see if he knows anything.”

“Good idea,” I say as he walks toward the door.

“Oh, and, uh,” he turns at the door and smirks at me. “Your safety is on.”

I roll my eyes as he leaves. Of course the safety was on. I wouldn’t actually clock him with a loaded gun if the safety wasn’t safe. I sigh and take a seat on my sofa. I hate that I love that idiot. As terrible as it seems, I would’ve been better off emotionally if he had just stayed dead.

~~~

I spend a lot of time at the Black Mask Club. Roman likes having me around…and I like people-watching. There’s so much information that can be gleaned from watching interactions. I watch a couple clowns walk in, followed by the pigtail-wearing blond. Joker doesn’t follow, but the fact that his goons are with her says that Harley and Joker are back together. Wonderful. I approach and offer a smile to the clowns before Harley turns to me.

“White Witch! It’s been forever!” She wraps her arms around me and I return the gesture. She shoos away the goons and offers me a seat next to her at the bar. “Yer a fixture here lately, ain’ ya?

“Even when I’m not on his payroll, it’s a good idea to keep tabs on what Roman’s up to.” I throw a look at the goons. “I see you’re back with Facepaint.”

She shrugs. “Aw, Mr. J ain’t so bad. He bought me this bracelet to apologize.” She shows off a diamond tennis bracelet I recognize as having been stolen a week ago.

“You know I don’t judge, Harley, but-”

“Yeah, ya do,” she argues. “Yer still salty that my puddin’ put down your puddin’.”

I smile politely. “I do not now, nor have I ever had, a ‘puddin’. I’m just saying…deserve better.”

“Does she now?” A higher pitched manic voice behind me says. I have to work to keep the smile on my face as the clown joins Harley at the bar. “I give Harley everything she could ever ask for.”

“Of course! A happier woman, I’ve never seen,” I force out, keeping the smile despite the fact that I want to take a crowbar to Joker’s stupid, smiling face. “You two have a good night. Enjoy your drinks.” I turn away and walk toward Roman in the VIP.

“What crawled up her stovepipe and died?” Joker asks.

“She’s just lonely. Don’t worry ‘bout her.” At least Harley has the decency to keep her observations about me and Jason to herself. The last thing I need is for that clown monster to know I have a soft spot worth exploiting.

“Fuckin’ clown,” Roman says as I step up into the VIP area.

“I didn’t know you had a problem with Joker,” I say as I grab a glass of wine and take a seat beside him.

“Everyone with half a mind has a problem with that crazy fuck. He’s unpredictable.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you, Roman.”

“Has nothing to do with me bankrolling your lifestyle, then?” he jokes.

“Absolutely not,” I respond with a smirk. I take a sip of wine and settle in for the night, trying to ignore the clowns. Joker doesn’t deserve to be sitting in a bar with a beautiful woman at his side. He doesn’t deserve the cushy cell in Arkham that he’ll be in next time Batman takes him off the streets. Joker deserves an unmarked grave in a pauper’s graveyard. Of course, Batman would never put him down. He’d never do the right thing. He’d only do what he thought was right.

Jackass.

~~~

I leave the Black Mask Club at about 2 in the morning. I wave off the bodyguards that want to walk me to my car. I don’t need them. I sigh when I see Red Hood leaning against my car door. “Two nights in a row. You’re gonna make me think you’re sweet on me, Hood.”

“So I was thinking about our talk, ya know, before you pulled your gun on me,” he starts, ignoring my comment as he stands up straight. “You said you protect the ones you care about. I didn’t think there was anyone you cared about besides yourself.”

I nod, faking a thoughtful expression. “You’re right. You know me so well. I do only care for myself.”

“No, I’m thinking I was wrong, actually. I think there must be someone you actually give a fuck about.”

I push past him to open my car door but he puts his hand on the door to prevent me from moving. I push down my anger and look up at him. “Years ago, there was a dumbass boy I gave a fuck about, but he died about a decade ago.” I take a deep breath and look up into the eyes of his mask.

His posture changes but I can’t see expression because of that fucking mask. “Sorry. I was just-”

I roll my eyes, happy that it went over his head. “You were just pushing my buttons.”

“I was teasing. I didn’t think… what happened?” he asks, stepping back to let me open my door.

“Gotham happened,” I respond before getting in my car and turning it on. He steps back and I peel out of the parking lot.

I wish he would leave me the fuck alone sometimes. I had to see him dead already. I had to mourn him already. I can’t see him die again, not for this city and not for the goddamn Bat.

I wish I really was as cold and heartless as people think I am.

~~~

“Think we got one of ‘em to take the bait,” Roman says when I enter his office in the morning. I offer him a cup of coffee and take a seat in the armchair in front of his desk.

“Yeah? Did you get the Bat to bite?”

“No. Un-fucking-fortunately, I think it’s the other one…not the kid, the other bird.”

“Nightwing? Used to be Robin?” I ask, my stomach dropping a bit.

“Yeah. These idiot ‘heroes’ and their stupid fuckin’ names,” Roman sneers.

“Like Black Mask and White Witch and Poison Ivy and fuckin’ Calendar Man?” I snap, my heart racing with fear. Jason went to Dick. Dick is going to lead Jay into a trap.

“You got a fuckin’ problem, bitch?” Roman growls, leaning forward.

I lick my lips and shake my head. “Ya know, I think I might be PMSing. You need me to stick around or can I go home?”

“Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Don’t need your fucking attitude,” he dismisses. I stand and walk out of his office, forcing myself to walk to avoid his attention, but I want to run. I need to warn Jason. Now.

I race to Jason’s apartment, swerving through cars and going 80 in a 45. I screech to a stop, easily parking in front of the building and running inside. I slam my fist into the wood of his door. I wait a few seconds then hit the door again. Jason finally opens the door and I push into his apartment. He looks over at me, exhaustion on his face. He runs his hand through his hair as he closes his door.

“I hope you have a good reason to wake me up when-”

“Shut the fuck up and listen to me,” I interrupt. His eyes go wide at my tone. “Do not go to the docks tonight.”

His eyebrows come together in confusion. “How do- Wait.” He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me. “You lied to me. You do know about the guns.”

“Of course I do; it’s my job to know this shit. The point was for you not to know because it’s a fucking trap.” I step closer to him. “Roman was hoping to catch the Bat so he put rumors out in the world about the guns. It’s not for you.”

“What, you were gonna let Black Mask kill-”

“Yes! Let Bruce finally get what’s coming to him, sure! But not you,” I insist. “Not again.”

Jason blinks a few times before his expression softens. “You know I can’t just let those guns into the city.”

“Let someone else take care of it, Jason. Please,” I whisper.

He runs his hand through his hair. “Who? Especially knowing it’s a trap, who can I give it to?”

“Give it to Gordon. Let GCPD actually do their jobs for once. Or tell Batman. Let him know it’s a trap, that way he can prepare, but don’t walk into that shit.”

“Dick and I-”

I grab his shirt and look up into his eyes. “Don’t. Go.”

He looks shocked at the intensity in my expression. “Okay. I’ll…toss it to someone else.”

I sigh in relief and let go of his shirt. “Good.” I move to leave, but his hand wraps around my wrist and I turn back to look at him,. He’s looking down at his ugly carpet, white strands of hair falling into his eyes.

“That dumbass boy from your past that you were talking about… is he…”

I scoff and shake my head a little. Had to know he’d figure it out after this. “Still a dumbass with anger issues despite being murdered years ago? Yeah.”

He closes his eyes for a second. “What if…this dumbass…what if he cared about you, too?”

I take a deep breath as tears threaten my eyes. “Then he’d be a bigger dumbass than I thought ‘cause he’d be clinging to me the way I’ve been clinging to him.”

He takes an audible breath, his fingers tightening around my wrist. “You’re clinging to the real him… the old him. Do you want him back? That him, not the… ghost you’ve been talking to?”

I shake my head, the tears finally welling up. “You’re not a ghost, Jay. You came back…and you’ve been angry, but… anyone who doesn’t understand…they never fucking understood you in the first place,” I say, thinking about Batman admonishing him for becoming the Hood.

He looks over at me, his eyes green and wet with unshed tears. “Do you? Do you understand why I became the Red Hood?”

“Of course.” I discretely wipe my eyes and clear my throat. “You grew up seeing the same thing I did, the true darkness in the heart of Gotham. Then Batman took you from the streets and gave you a purpose more than just surviving. He taught you his morals and gave you a place at his side and that place next to him, it got you killed. And then…”

“And then I came back… broken and changed,” he says, his voice low.

“No. Not broken.” I blink away more tears. “Changed. Of course you changed. You came back different, angry at the way his morals put you in a place to…” I look down, anger filling me. “Joker should never have been allowed to live after the first time he escaped Arkham. Throwing them in jail over and over does fucking nothing. It’s a stupid cycle that Batman perpetuates because he knows that he is nothing if he doesn’t have anyone to fight against. You shouldn’t have had to pay that price for him.”

He looks over at me, shocked by some part of my diatribe. “You…” he starts, his voice cracking.

I lick my lips and take a deep breath to try to regain the composure I usually pride myself on. “When Bruce Way adopted you, I was so jealous. Even when I watched the Boy Wonder beat up my dad’s drug dealer and I heard your voice from under that stupid domino mask… I was happy for you. But when Joker killed you… I wanted to kill Bruce. It was his fault.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “If I’d been older, if I hadn’t been a 15 year old girl with no access to billionaire Bruce Wayne… I would have tried, but I knew I couldn’t get close enough.”

“You still feel that way? After all these years?”

“Never stopped.” I clear my throat and pull my hand away from him. “Anyway.”

“Don’t ‘Anyway’ me. We need to talk about this.”

“What do we have to talk about? This doesn’t change anything. You’re still going to be trying to clean up the seedy underbelly of Gotham…and I’m still going to be stuck in that seedy underbelly. We can’t stop being who we are and we can’t afford to be each other’s weaknesses.”

Jason nods. “I get that but I want…can’t we just talk a bit longer?”

I take a breath and step back. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Tell me something I don’t know about you. Something I missed after I left you behind to go play hero with Bruce.”

I tuck my hair behind my ears and look at his dirty carpet beneath our feet. “I used to dream of moving away somewhere, having a normal life. Used to dream of living that normal life…with that dumbass boy.”

“Yeah? What happened to that dream? What shattered it?” He moves to try and catch my eyes. “Was it the boy? Or because of Batman?”

I look up, smiling tightly. “It was me, actually. I realized that I’m never gonna make it out of Gotham. It was a nice dream though. It’s still kinda my happy place, where I go to rest my mind when the real world gets too harsh.”

“Tell me about the dream life. Where do we live? What do we do?” he asks quietly.

“A little farm in the middle of nowhere. Upstate somewhere, ya know. Just some chickens and goats roaming around. I’d work at the diner in town and you’d do something with your hands…mechanical stuff, maybe. We would have breakfast every morning on the porch and watch the sunset every night.”

Jason’s eyes get misty. “And what about kids? Are there…kids in the dream?”

I smile softly. “Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just us but sometimes there’s a baby.”

“And we’re…happy? Together on that farm, we’re happy?” he asks, his voice practically a whisper.

“That’s how I know it’s a dream, silly. Gotta be fake if I’m happy.”

“So, you’re saying…” His voice cracks and he clears his throat. “...being happy with me is only possible in your dreams?”

I laugh humorlessly. “You tell me, Jason.”

He runs his hand through his hair. “You know it’s not that simple. We can’t just throw away our responsibilities, our missions. But God, I wish we could.”

I smile sadly and pat his chest. “Exactly. We’re both still here and, well, we aren’t going anywhere…together or otherwise.”

“Dammit. We’re stuck, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” I confirm softly. “But we’re alive. Stay that way for me, Jason. Please.” 

“I can do that…for your…happy place.”

I go to my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek. “Thank you, my dumbass boy,” I say before pulling open his door and running down the stairs.

[majorproblems77]

Be me.

Writing Whumptober prompts, as i work through some ideas in my head for the writer's block I'm having right now.

Resist the urge to write about 4 new WIPS that are unrelated to anything and everything right now.

But also. Sky beloved, he needs more written about him.

What to do?

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ pretty tipsy ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ he brings you home after a night out drinking┊2.5k words

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: alcohol & intoxication, this man is WHIPPED, age & size difference, emotional drunk human reader, ooc? calling him kitty

➤ author's note: idk what this is but it’s my longest logan piece yet because i have yet to write any more than a thousand words for him

tonight was one of the few nights logan could finally have some alone time. wade was going out for drinks with vanessa with the plan to stay over at her place, the ever so mysterious blind al was off doing her own thing, and mary puppins was resting peacefully in her little bed, tuckered out after a long day of playtime. he could finally get some long-awaited peace and quiet, a moment to himself to relax and breathe. while he’s grateful for the presence of others since he arrived in this dimension, he’s still a lone wolf at heart who treasures his privacy above all else.

humming a little tune from the eighties, he sunk into the beat-up leather couch with a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other, taking a long drag on it and preparing himself for a relaxing evening until his flip phone started ringing. when he opened it up to read the “wade wilson” contact name staring back at him, he rolled his eyes with a groan before answering.

“what the fuck do you want?”

“not even a ‘hello?’ damn bitch, okay then— well, we ran into some friends and had some drinks together, but one of them is pretty shit-faced right now and her phone is dead, could you pretty please with sugar on top come and pick her up?”

“the fuck? that’s not my problem, just call her an uber—” he stopped mid-sentence when he heard a familiar giggle in the background, one asking a different partygoer to have another drink with her, “is that the neighbor who lives at the end of the hallway?”

“yeah, it’s your little crush~! you recognize her from just her voice over the phone, oh my god, you have it bad wolfie!! well, if you don’t wanna come, then fine, whatever, but you know, it’s not unsafe for a pretty lady to be alone this late at night! some guy might just swoop her up, actually, there’s some guy asking for her number right now—”

“alright, alright, i’m coming! send me the address.” he nearly shouted into the receiver, putting out his cigar on the ashtray atop the coffee table and slipping on his jacket to leave the comfort of his shared apartment.

the night was chilly in comparison to the cozy warmth of the indoors and the bar was filled with loud chattering and cheers, the clinking of glasses, yelling at the game being televised, and the general buzz of extroverted fun on a weekend night. 

“ayyy, there he is! come here, peanut, sit, sit, sit, have a drink with us!”

logan hesitated, not because he would ever shy away from free booze but because he was here on a mission with one sole goal in mind (and because he wasn’t familiar with this particular group of people, he didn’t feel like socializing tonight) “no, it’s fine, i’m just here to take her home.” his voice was uncharacteristically mellow, finding you napping on the table with your arms folded to be a makeshift cushion for your head. 

you peeked at the man coming up next to you and your face changed from exhausted to ecstatic to upset in the span of a few seconds, “looggann!! how are you doing, i feel like i haven’t seen you in foreverr— how come every time i see you in the hall, you always run off, are you avoiding me? did i do something wrong?” you cling onto his hand and shake his arm, paying no attention to your friends giggling at your behavior in the background, pouting and tearing up. 

oh god, you’re an emotional drunk, that’s so cute. neither he nor wade could get drunk at all on account of their systems constantly cleaning out the effects of the alcohol as soon as it’s consumed, but when he drinks around others, it’s a trait he typically finds so annoying quickly becoming so endearing when worn by you.

“i’m not avoiding you, you haven’t done anything wrong,” he consoled in the most gentle voice a wolverine could muster, also cringing at the fact that he wasn’t half as discreet as he thought he was. it’s true, he has been avoiding you, but only because he couldn’t stand the way you made him feel, smoothing out the rough edges of his personality and making him feel stupid butterflies he was far too old to be feeling, not to mention the nonstop teasing from everyone else when they noticed the way he seemed to look at you from afar. it was as if he was a child who thought hiding from it would make it go away, but it has become apparent it has only grown stronger.

“you’re telling the truth?” you sniffled.

“yes, i am. come on, bub, let’s get you outta here. i’m here to take you home.”

you didn’t protest or try to convince him you weren’t wasted, knowing your limit had been reached, and slowly picked up your things to follow him out of the building. he allowed you to intertwine your arm with his, providing support to your unbalanced mind and stumbling legs since you couldn’t even walk straight.

“why would you drink so much if you’re such a lightweight?”

“how do you know i’m a lightweight? you weren’t there, i could have drunk an entire bathtub full of booze before you showed up!” 

“nah, i can smell it, there’s no way you drank anything more than a few pints.”

“oh, so the kitty is a dog now? i thought you were more cat-like this whole time, but i guess i was wrong.” 

“what?” they say what a person says when intoxicated comes from their soul and true thoughts with little to no filter, but he certainly wasn’t anticipating those words to come out of your mouth.

“you look like a kitty, you know? with the way your hair does the little swoopy things— do you wake up like that or do you need to style it? you act like one too, grumpy ass kitty.”

“don’t call me that, kid, i hear it enough from wade already.”

“i’ll stop calling you kitty when you stop calling me kid! i know you’re old as hell, but i’m a grown-ass adult!”

“yeah? well, you’re certainly not acting like one right now.”

you were silent for a minute, making him worry for a second that he offended you by calling you childish, but when he looked back down at you, you were simply staring in astonishment. “i’ve never seen you smile before! you look a lot more handsome, you should do it more often!”

was he smiling? he didn’t even notice, grinning ear to ear and revealing his pearly white teeth, chuckling at your ridiculous words. was this really the first time you saw him smile and heard him laugh? no wonder you assumed he was avoiding you, he was surprised you didn’t hate him just because of a misunderstanding.

it took some time to get you up all of the stairs to your floor without tripping, and logan was almost sad the night was over so quickly. even if the conversation was mostly one-sided and you were intoxicated with slurred words, he swears he listened to all you had to say between comedic bits, insightful knowledge, random bullshit, and found it all fascinating. luckily for him, his time with you wasn’t up yet as he watched you fumble with your purse and frown.

“oh, fuck… i lost my keys… oh no…” you slumped against the wall until you fell to the floor, feeling yourself starting to cry at this inconvenience with heightened emotions. 

“god, please don’t, not again…” he’s the absolute worst at comforting others, it isn’t his strong suit, and acknowledging this weakness seemed ten times more difficult when you were the one in need. “come on, you can sleep at my place for the night and charge your phone.”

“...really?”

“yes, come on.” 

you took his outreached hand and found yourself in his grasp again as he held onto your shoulder to steady you, unlocking the door and leading you into his shared apartment. he felt somewhat grateful that you were too drunk to notice how messy the site was, seating you on the couch as he got you a glass of water to sober up. you looked so out of place among it all, so young and feminine with your vibrant club clothing around all of the aging, scratched-up furniture and muted colors.

“thank you,” you murmur, downing the entire tall glass with a few gulps, “uh, where is the bathroom?” he directed you to where it was and allowed you to use it, quickly hearing you turn on the shower after a minute and just as quickly hearing you swearing in regret over the loud pitter-patter of the steaming hot water. “i’m never drinking again, why am i being so fucking stupid?!” 

“are you okay?” 

“yeah, except for the fact i forgot that i don’t have a change of clothes and i stepped into the shower with my current ones on because i forgot to take them off!” your voice cracked, feeling yourself starting to cry once again from yet another inconvenience. you were really just embarrassing yourself and couldn’t wait for this shitty day to be over.

he let out a sigh of relief, “god, don’t scare me like that— i’ll get you something, hold on, please don’t cry.” he could have stolen some of al’s clothing since she wouldn’t have noticed, or he could have stolen some of the clothes vanessa left behind after spending time with wade, but for some odd reason, he pulled out one of his canadian hockey jerseys for you. the fabric was soft and worn with time, smelling slightly of him and laundry detergent, and arguably the most comfortable thing he had at his disposal. “i’ll leave it outside the door, okay?”

“thank youu!!” (and thank god your underwear is still clean and dry enough to wear again, you have no idea what you would have done if you didn’t realize your mistake soon enough and stood under the water for long enough to be soaked to the bone.)

logan allowed his fatigued body to rest for a moment, sinking into the couch just as he did an hour ago in hopes of relaxation. what the fuck was he doing? since when did the wolverine play babysitter for drunk young women, walking them back to play guard dog against possible creepy men, letting them into his home, and lending them his clothing to wear? this was so uncharacteristic of him, he couldn’t think of a single person he was willing to do this for other than laura, but you certainly weren’t nearly as close to him as he was to her! lord, he’s so pathetic, he thinks he probably would have carried you back bridal style too if you asked him.

the water stopped and he waited for you to exit so that he could show you where you could sleep, but he could now see he didn’t need to. your apartment layouts are nearly identical, and it looks like your brain was switched onto autopilot after cleaning up, mindlessly strolling into his bedroom and plopping down on his mattress as if it were your own. (his shirt was practically a dress on you, falling to your mid-thigh and ill-fitted on your smaller frame, his eyes lingering on it for a second longer than what would have been polite.)

he leaned against the doorframe, watching you make yourself comfortable and preparing to stay there until the early afternoon with a banging headache. “are you comfortable? do you need anything else?”

you murmured something in response and stretched out your arms, making grabby hands and inviting him to join you, “come cuddle with me! herree, kitty, kitty, kitty~”

are you really calling a fifty-something-year-old, six-foot-tall killer mutant with adamantium bones and razor-sharp claws that come out of his knuckles ‘kitty’? yes, yes you are, and you’re going to scream into your pillow from embarrassment when you recall it the next day.

“i don’t do cuddles, princess,” he chuckled even though he intended to scoff. “and i already told you to quit calling me that.”

“pleaseee? pretty pleasee?” you chirped, eyes going big and round just like a puppy in a cartoon, begging him to humor you in this request.

are you truly a human, or are you secretly a mutant who has hypnotic powers? the answer is obvious, he’s just an old loser who apparently answers at your every beck and call now because all he could do is sigh, slip off his jacket, and get under the blanket with you. 

you rolled on your side and wrapped your arm around his body, nuzzling your face into his comforting touch and inhaling the mild scent of pine and tobacco. humming a satisfied “good night” and dozing off within a few minutes, you clung to him as tightly as a koala onto a branch, and he couldn’t separate himself from you without making you stir and whine. 

trapped in the embrace of a beautiful neighbor whom he possessed a soft spot for, wearing his clothing and laying in his bed, he would be trapped like this until morning it sounds like a dream to most men, but to logan, it’s the fear of getting attached and losing someone else important to him rearing its ugly head to the forefront of his mind. it scares him to think what could happen if he allowed himself this pleasure of becoming close to you, and yet when he admires your slumbering face, he feels like it would be okay and work itself out in the end somehow.

he fell asleep more quickly than usual when you held him, and for the first time in forever, he wasn’t tormented with horrid nightmares of the past that always plagued him before now. when he woke up, his weary soul was well-rested and energized, almost as if he was twenty years younger again. the wonders of a good night’s sleep, or perhaps, the wonders of being with you. 

it felt so… natural to wake up with you next to him.

you were practically a dead weight by now, not rousing in the least when he slowly got up to leave the bed. he did feel a little back about undoing the grasp you had on him though, felt a bit like abandoning you in a vulnerable state. he sauntered into the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee as per his routine, only to find the most annoyingly loveable scarred face sitting in a chair waiting for him, legs crossed and hands in his lap like a supervillain. 

“sooooo, how was your night, you smitten kitten? you dirty dog!” there was a stupid smirk on his face, trying his best to hold back a fit of giggles. he knows nothing suggestive happened and was just teasing, but he still wanted to hear him say that it was a wonderful night nonetheless and to thank him for playing matchmaker.

“shut the fuck up before i stab you again. don’t ruin this morning for me.”

[yuulettte]

"𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫?!"

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐥𝐥 ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ )

✰ Tags: gn!reader x various JJK men, fluff, reader has a cold oh NOOOO!!, sfw, just sugary sweet

✰Characters: Gojo, Yuta, Yuji, Geto, Megumi, Nanami

✰ A/N: I tested positive for covid so I decided to be self indulgent.. First time writing hcs for most of these boys ( ´ ▽ ` ) I apologize in advance

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You tell him not to come near you out of habit, but he reminds you about his limitless technique! Can germs touch him? Who knows~

Long movie watching sessions, he'll buy you whatever you want to eat. Shoko told him to make sure you're hydrated, so he might force you to drink. Good luck!

Still manages to make you laugh with his antics. He'll wave his hands over you, using that eccentric tone, "Get better~ get better~!" as if it'll magically heal you

One time you catch him reading articles online on how to take care of a sick partner. The expression on his face is that of pure focus

He eventually gets fed up and says something about how 'the strongest never gets sick!' And thus turns off his technique to cuddle with you. He catches your cold the next day LOL

Guess even the strongest isn't immune to flu season

𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚 𝐎𝐤𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Attentive in every way. Is absolutely unafraid of getting sick. He always ends up catching whatever bug you have because he takes care of you no matter what

Runs you warm baths. He'll help you wash, dry your hair, and get dressed.

Rubs your back if you're feeling unwell, even when you're not sick ( ´ ▽ ` )

"What do you need? I'll go get it for you. Is there a dish you'd like for me to cook?"

He's an insanely good care taker (no surprise)

Has a habit of buying you plushies whenever you get sick, so your bed is over taken by them after a few years of dating. It's an army.. Or so you call it!

Will give you that sad puppy look if you refuse to let him hold you, even if it's out of love. He just wants to make you feel better

Doesn't let anyone else enter the house unless it's your family, he's your boyfriend and so it's his responsibility to take care of you! (he's protective)

𝐘𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Will show up at your place with a bag full of medicine and goodies

Also doesn't care about catching whatever you have.

"I've got a super good immune system, so it's no problem!"

It's true too, what takes you a week to get over he'll tank in two days. It's actually kinda scary

He'll do whatever he can to make you laugh. And if you can't, then he'll comfort you

You'll have video game tournaments in your bed, and by the end he's always curled around you like a guard dog. The both of you fall asleep like that often

He'll wipe the sweat from your forehead and give you a cooling pad when you wake up as an apology :'D

𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

He's not very good with germs, so he might keep his distance if you have a nasty virus

He still really cares! Just may approach you with a mask and some anti bacterial

Lots of praise. Reminds you that it'll be okay, you'll feel better soon and he'll make sure of it

"You'll feel better soon my love, don't worry. Just drink this,"

He'll sooth you with his voice to help you fall asleep.

Like Satoru, he'll ask Shoko for advice on how to care for you. He takes to it more naturally, though. It's the dad vibes! Care taking is in his DNA

You find yourself getting sick way less often when spending tons of time with him. He just has that sort of aura?

𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Not the most emotionally attentive, but he'll come over and bring magazines/books for you to read and some medicine

Will sit with you in silence. He doesn't want you to hurt your throat from forcing yourself to talk

If you'd like, he'll summon his shadow dogs for you to cuddle with. He'd do it himself but he doesn't want you to feel sweaty

He's surprisingly strict about what you eat. It has to be homemade and full of nutrients

He cooks recipes that Tsumiki taught him for you ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ) they're delicious!

Even if he doesn't show it outwardly, he's honestly extremely worried. He wants you to get better as soon as possible!

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

He takes time off work, you're his number one priority. He WILL be the one nursing you back to health

Husband material. He knows all of your favorite sick foods and most effective medications

Firm about you getting rest. "Please, allow me honey," and it's you literally reaching for a cup of water

He cooks meals that are easy on your stomach. Took the time to educate himself on what vitamins to give you

Will likely also catch your sicky, but he honestly doesn't mind because that means more time off with you.

The two of you will be wrapped around each other in bed while he reads to you, both with wet towels on your foreheads <3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀ ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[phoebejaysims]

Boutique Mod - DOWNLOAD

Inspired by the sims 2 shopping for clothes system, I present a sims 3 take on buying clothes, accessories and running a thriving boutique! Set up shifts, keep the racks stocked, and you might find yourself in profit!

Required:

Ambitions

NRAAS Master Controller + Integration Module

Optional:

ITF if you want to use the clothes mannequin and some visual effects.

Late Night if you want the animations for the security guard.

Seasons for extra interactions on the mannequin.

Savvy Seller Set for some visual and audio effects.

Full Documentation is included in the download. I spent a while writing it out, so please read thoroughly!

How Stores Work:

Set up a shift

Hire Employees (bosses count as employees so stores are fully functional with only one sim!)

Link at least one rack to the register

Open for business!

Employees:

Store employees can be given three types of roles: register attendant, sales attendant and security guard.

Employees will do their jobs automatically but you can always manually tell them to do things too like: restocking, dressing up mannequins, helping customers, among other things.

Customers:

Inactive and active sims can browse through the racks and have the ability to purchase items. They'll interact differently depending on if they are shopping at a clothes rack, accessory rack, or at a mannequin.

Inactives won't purchase outfits from mannequins unless you direct them to (or you enable auto-purchasing in the XML). However, they may "fake" buy clothes.

Once finished shopping, customers hold their bags and wait to be rung up! Take too long and they may abandon their purchase.

Shopping:

Adjust prices and restrict customers by age and gender to customise your store!

Clothes Racks:

Buy Clothes for your own sim, sims in your household, or (if you're an employee) suggest clothes for customers.

Employees that suggest clothes for customers can fulfil Ambition Stylist jobs this way.

Accessories Racks:

Choose accessories to be sold by adding them to the XML in the package file. The XML comes loaded with a few base game items already plus a couple modded items (Arsil's Sunglasses and lipstick - that won't be loaded unless you have them installed).

Sell buy-mode items as well as CAS items!

Make your CAS items wearable from your sim's inventory using your own meshes or my dummy accessory (see Documentation and XML for details).

Blacklist certain categories from being shown. If you want a dedicated shoe shop or an opticians, you can have it!

Try on products before buying them to see if they suit your sim. If there's a mirror in the room, they'll check themselves out in it.

Clothing Mannequin:

Try on the mannequin outfits to see if they suit your sim.

Plan different outfits to display and even set them to be rotated through seasonally.

Let your employees be creative and choose a random outfit for the mannequin to wear.

Buy clothes for your own sim, household members, or customers.

Allow or disallow inactives from automatically purchasing display outfits.

Security Gates:

Give your security guards something to stand and look threatening by.

You can try your luck at stealing from the shop. If you're caught, you'll have to pay up. If you get past the gates (or if there are no gates), enjoy your bounty!

Boutique Door:

Cloned from the Savvy Seller doors without the annoying 'kick-every-last-person-out-the-building-come-closing-time' feature.

Link this to a register and let the open and close sign automatically flip itself. Also, close the store or rename it, straight from the door.

Phone Interactions:

Ask for time off work (paid or unpaid).

Call in sick.

Cancel vacation days.

Credits and Thanks:

@dhalsims for adding geostates to the ITF rack for me. Modders, I really recommend her if you need any 3D models made also!

DouglasVeiga for the BG rack with the geostates.

@aroundthesims for allowing me to use her objects in my mod as always!

Sims 4 for all the animations that I converted.

Simstate & merchant mods for the idea to go into a mode to link racks to the register.

The OG shop for clothes mod and pedestal by @anitmb.

Arsil and @zoeoe-sims for wearable CAS items idea that I adapted.

Ani's Candle mod & Amb. Makeover XML which I looked at for inspo on how to do accessory rack xml.

Compatibility:

All new objects so shouldn't conflict with anything really.

Removes the 'plan outfit' interaction from dressers.

Made on version 1.67.

If you would like to donate as thanks, please feel free to do so at: my kofi! I don't take your generosity for granted!

Download: - Simblr.cc - 2t3 Boutique Mod Suggested Extra CC: - Lyralei's TS2 Conversions (incl. clothes changing booth) - More ATS3 Security Gates - ATS3 Friperie Set

Known issues, prop information and the full feature breakdown are all in the documentation.

Please be patient with me if there are bugs to fix. Also, anyone who DMs me "I don't know how to create a new shift" will be immediately fined £150.

With that said, please enjoy the mod and tag me in your beautiful boutiques,

Phoebe :)

[maximumzombiecreator]

I've seen a lot of posts recently where people say they can't find players to play non-5e TTRPGs with. As someone who moves countries every few years, I've had to rebuild my roster of local TTRPG players from scratch a number of times. Here's how I do it.

Caveats first: while I've done this in small cities, I have always done it in cities. If you're in, like, a rural environment, you might just not have enough interested people around. You can always do it online in that case. I'm not really going to cover finding players online, except to say you should probably look for communities for the specific system you want to play. Most of them are enthusiastically looking for new participants. Especially game masters.

Okay, first things first, you gotta find people. I generally find I get better results if the search is location first. That is, rather than using city-wide or regional Looking For Group type internet groups, I look for physical locations that host gaming groups. Local game stores, public libraries, gaming cafes/bars, etc.

Being location first helps avoid some common bad behaviours. Online LFG groups often have a few shitty people hanging around who can't find long term groups because they're shitty. They'll jump at the opportunity to join new groups where people don't know them, because everyone else knows better than to game with them. But location-based groups are better at filtering this. Someone who harasses people at an LGS can be banned from the store, but decentralized online groups struggle to handle these situations in my personal experience.

Being location first also solves the next problem, which is giving you a location to play. Eventually, when I have a long term group, I'll host games in my home. But there needs to be a level of trust before that feels safe, and we're looking for randoms, so for now we need a public gaming venue. If, for whatever reason, there aren't dedicated gaming spaces where you can do this, I've had the most success gaming in cafes or restaurants during off peak hours. I've run a bunch of games in restaurants from, like, 2pm-5pm on a Saturday, and as long as you're buying drinks and some snacks or something, and being polite and non-disruptive, it's typically not too hard to get permission.

Now, if that local group has enough interest in a non-5e system that I'm interested in running, I'll happily do that, and it's pretty free from there. Most people who are willing to play one other system will gladly try others if they find they like playing with you. But even in big cities, I feel it's pretty often the case that postings for local games of other systems don't wind up actually finding successful groups.

So, here is the bit where, unfortunately, finding people to play non-5e games with involves playing some 5e. Community groups are always looking for more GMs to run games, so I will set out to run a number of short 5e adventures, each with different groups. These are typically oneshots that I have the option of extending for another 1 or 2 sessions.

I always run adventures that I've written myself for these, because I want my particular GMing style to really come through. Looking for players is a two way street. I'm looking for people I like GMing for, but I'm also looking to make sure they know what they're getting. Especially if I'm going to ask them to play a system they've never tried, they should know that there's going to be something they enjoy. So, these short adventures are full of the types of silly but sincere NPCs I tend to run, the open-ended scenarios I prefer, the tropes I favour, etc. If someone isn't going to enjoy playing with me, I want them to know it from this adventure.

I structure the adventures to give me a lot of flexibility in terms of how long they run. They're nearly always mysteries, but with some active component to the mystery, so that if things drag or dawdle I can have the villain show up and force a final confrontation. They're also structured to have a natural "next thing." You find and defeat the villain, but there's an implied next villain you'll be going after. That way, if the group is working well and I want to continue, it's easy to present the option to the group. But if I'm not interested in continuing with the group, the next thing can just serve as an "and the adventures continue" implied epilogue, and the game still feels complete.

I don't like players just bringing their own character sheet to the table. Someone who brings a disruptive character can ruin a session without me getting much useful information out of it, other than that I don't want to play with that person. And if it ruins the experience for the other players, I'm often out the opportunity to game with those people, through neither of our faults. I've experimented with both asking players to submit their characters in advance or making them choose between a collection of premade characters. The former is a good check for whether people will put in a basic amount of effort and follow instructions, but it can dissuade people who are just looking to dip their toes into playing for the first time. The latter can turn off players who are into crunchy games and are excited about character building. As a result, I'll usually choose the approach based on what non-5e system I'm currently most excited about running. Do I want to get together a group for a rules-light game? Premade characters it is. Looking to run some PF2e? Please submit your character sheet in advance. Some locations also do more drop-in based games, in which case it's premades all day.

As I'm running the game, I'm observing the players. There's a simple vibe check, obviously. Do I like playing with this person? But I'm also looking at how they play. What are they here for, what's exciting them? Are they struggling with finding optimal turns in combat, or do they like mastering a system? Are they curious about the world, or do they glaze over when the spotlight isn't on them? Do they light up in dialogue scenes? Do they want to try crazy things outside of their on-sheet abilities? Remember, later, I'm going to try to persuade this person to try to play a game they've never played before. I need to know what specifically is going to excite them.

I have (always with permission) recorded sessions before to go over in making these choices, but honestly even just a few small reminder notes will help me unravel things later. If a session goes well, I'll ask at the end for people to give me their contact information if they'd be interested in playing again. Non-committal, at their comfort, and it doesn't single out people that I don't want to play with. I can always just not call them. Usually I find I'm interested in playing again with a little more than half of the players I meet this way. In my experience, it's fairly rare for a player to say they're not interested in playing again, TTRPGs rule and there's a DM shortage.

What I usually do is keep running these until I have enough people in mind to run something else, even if it isn't the system I'm most excited about. Probably it would be better to spend more time in this starter phase building up more connections, but after running like 4-5 5e adventures, I'm usually more than ready to run anything else, and if I have to shelve my Lancer ideas because I've mostly found crunch-averse players, I'm usually fine with that.

So, next comes the invites. Now, most players I meet this way will eventually be open to playing most games, but listen: you can put people well out of their comfort zone for their third TTRPG, but you gotta be real careful with their second. Most of the time, the game I'm inviting people to will be their first real exposure to a non-5e TTRPG. If they don't like it, they will run back to the safety of 5e and you will never get them out of it again. So I am very careful in picking the right system for the players I am inviting.

Whatever the new system I want to run is, I will set up a pilot session for it. I am very clear to players that I will teach them the system at the session, they do not need to know it in advance. Eventually, when I have a reliable group of TTRPG people to play with, I'll expect them to be able to pick up systems without a ton of help, but for players that are only used to the complexity of 5e, the idea of learning a new system is daunting. I rehearse the teaching of the game session. It's the only thing for TTRPGs I ever rehearse, but I want to know down pat how I'm going to quickly teach a new system and make it feel approachable and non-threatening. I'm also very clear that this will be a single session, with the possibility of turning into a campaign if we like it. All of this is structured to feel very safe. No initial learning required, no long term commitment, with a GM you already know you like.

But even as safe as that is, you still have to pitch the system. Why should the player be excited about playing this new game? Don't go all TTRPG nerd on them and explain all the details of the system, or use a bunch of jargon. Give them one or two things to be excited about with short, detailed anecdotes to back them up.

"We're going to be playing Blades in the Dark. It's a game where you play a gang of criminals in a haunted, steampunk dystopia. Every session you'll do heists, but instead of meticulously planning them, you start right in the action, and when you need to have planned for something, you can do a flashback scene to explain your preparation. One group I ran this for got busted by guards during an early heist, but used a flashback to create a scene where they had gotten a buddy of theirs a job as one of the guards, and he helped them out of the situation. And for some reason they fell in love with this bumbling goof I improvised to be the buddy, and then on a bunch of future jobs they kept using flashbacks to get him jobs wherever they were robbing. So this one idiot was just a de-facto crew member who worked a dozen different inside jobs despite being about as sharp as an eraser. And eventually they fucked up and got him killed, but they brought him back as a ghost, because you can do that in Blades in the Dark."

I find using a specific example of play really helps get peoples' imaginations going, which is what is going to help them say yes. And that example is tailored to what I know that player vibes with, what it is I think that makes them a good fit for this game.

The last detail about the invites is that I'm telling them, not asking them. It is not, "Hey, are you interested in playing this new game?" It's "I'm going to be running this new game. If you're interested in playing, please let me know what times work for you." If you're asking, you're going to get some "well but can it be 5e?" If you're telling, then they can choose to learn a new game in order to keep playing TTRPGs with a GM they know they like, or they can choose not to play at all.

Once you get enough yesses for a game, you run it, and then from there you're on your own. I think those are basically just friends you have at that point, and I'm not gonna tell you how to have friends.

Hopefully at least one person finds all that useful!

[vin-taege]

Could you do headcannons for both sfw and nsfw showering with Chishiya? :3

The Water's Just Right

Summary: Showering headcanons for our favorite snarky boy

Genre: fluff, smut, gn! reader

Note: Oh yeah, I'm back again! I've been gone for so long because of college, but I'm here again to revive the aib fandom >:3 also my first time writing headcannons. :DDD I think I got carried away sjjsjs

☄. *. ⋆ sfw

ok let's start with headcannons for the real world

as a doctor, he mainly takes quick showers

contrary to popular belief, i feel like he enjoys hot showers over cold ones. like he's already going to be stressed because of work, so might as well have at least one part of his day be a little relaxing

the only time you can take joint showers with him is during his off-days or if you stay up long enough to catch him coming home

he doesn't like it when you do the latter option because he firmly believes you should take care of yourself and sleep early

even though he runs on 3 hours of sleep maximum every day

he lets you wash his hair after initially (and weakly) refusing

you definitely use scented shampoo on him (strawberry because he thinks floral scents are too strong)

he prefers subtle scents because the hospital is already filled with strong odors.

he'll never admit he likes it when you wash his hair, especially when you massage his scalp

"did you purr a little?"

"I think you need your hearing checked."

loves it when you run your hands up and down his back

you mainly use showering as an excuse to dote on him

likes kissing your neck while you attempt to lather soap on him

random but he installed a non-slip mat on the floor because he doesn't want the two of you to get into any accidents

likes playing with your hair by gathering soap bubbles and dumping them on you

you don't point this out because you're scared he'll withdraw from letting himself be a kid for once

sometimes when it's been a rough day, he lets you hold him in the shower for a moment

just letting the warm water wash away his stress while he melts into your arms

he used to skip lotion until you started putting it on him

he got used to it after that and subconsciously started integrating it into his routine

honestly before you came along, had the worst skincare routine ever

"That's... that's not how you put on facial wash. You need to wash your face with it for at least a minute."

"I'm not a dermatologist, y/n."

"You don't need to be to know that???"

In the borderlands, it's basically the same but without the luxury of proper skin products.

always ALWAYS showers after games

he hates the ick from going outside and keeps himself sane by maintaining cleanliness

surprisingly, he's more forward with asking you to join him

in the real world, you're the one who always asks for permission, but now he always looks for your presence

especially since he knows you could be gone any day

"Do you want to join me?"

"Didn't the heater system break down?"

"I fixed ours. The water's just right."

☄. *. ⋆ nsfw

remember that non-slip mat?

oh yeah, that was definitely for this occasion

he doesn't like lifting you up because again, safety first

prefers standing positions where he can press you up against the wall.

LOVES LOVES LOVES FOGGING UP THE GLASS

he doesn't pull your hair because he knows it'll be prone to breakage

he's such a nerd about bodily care except for when it comes to himself.

holds your neck instead and uses it as leverage to pound into you

either that or he digs his fingers into your hips so he can grind his cock inside you.

makes it his goal to make you squirt at least once

OK THIS IS MY PERSONAL HEADCANNON

it may be because of the tight space, or the bathroom acoustics, or the added privacy

but this man is definitely louder in the shower

you love sucking him off because of this

deep moaning, swearing, whimpering when you're being a little shit and you overstimulate him

plays with your chest a lot because he likes how slippery the soap makes it

LISTEN

also installed a detachable showerhead ;)))

[heeliopheelia]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐒/𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐁𝐑𝐎

genre: fluff, established relationship

word count: 1.7k

warnings: hoon’s quite suggestive, jake’s hinting suggestive content but it’s really up to your own interpretation lmaoo, kissing

a/n: yayyy, this one has been sitting in my drafts FOREVER!! so glad to finally put it out...

masterlist

LEE HEESEUNG

You can’t help but chuckle into his lips, teeth clashing slightly when his cold hands make contact with the skin underneath your top. Heeseung pulls away from the kiss, raising his eyebrow at your behavior before realizing that the reason for your laughter comes from the touch of hands. 

Already knowing his ill intentions of tickling you by his expression, you put your hands over his and speak before you can even think of your words first.

“Bro, don’t even-”

Your words are interrupted with a loud scoff. “What did you just call me, you little witch?”

“Hey!”

“You see, things like that really make me rethink our relationship.”

You burst out laughing away before shoving his face away gently. “You’re so mean.”

“You’re the mean one for even letting such words come to your mind while addressing me.” 

You roll your eyes, biting back a smile before grabbing his neck and trying to smush your lips together. A whine rips out of your throat when he denies you your kiss and looks at you as if you were crazy.

“Just come here, you dramatic ass! I haven’t seen you in a whole week!”

Heeseung flicks your nose instead. “Exactly! You haven’t seen me in an entire week and the first word that comes to your mind is bro. Really?”

You groan loudly, throwing your head back as you prepare yourself for the next fifteen minutes of bickering with your boyfriend. “Oh my god-”

PARK JAY

“Why would you ever call me that, oh my god.”

His frown is enough to make you burst out with chuckles. You grab onto his arm as you catch up to him, letting the glass door of the small convenience store shut behind you. 

“I thought that was funny,” you chirp up at him, batting your eyelashes innocently.

“And in public too? You really want me to go gray before my thirties, don’t you?”

You raise your arm up and run your hand through his soft hair, pretending to actually consider his question. “I think you’d actually look rather hot with salt-pepper hair, you know? You’d look ravishing with any hairstyle, really.”

Jay sends you an unamused look as you keep giggling. “Sweet words aren't gonna get you anywhere, miss.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” you finally fold as you slip your hand into his. 

Jay intertwines your fingers without skipping a beat, before tugging on your arm and pulling you even closer to him. 

“Please, don’t ever do that again. I might actually go crazy.”

SIM JAKE

You look with slight disappointment at your boyfriend occupied with his game – too occupied to notice you’ve called him a bro instead of baby for the second time this past five minutes. Sitting boredly on his bed, you sigh again.

“What is it, angel?” Jake asks, eyes drawn to the screen and never sparing you a look. 

You never minded when he spent his evenings gaming, you know everyone has their own stress relievers, but tonight you were just so damn bored you didn’t know what else to do.

“Nothing, bro,” you snap a little sharper than intended, slightly irked by his innocent negligence. “I’m gonna order some take out. What do you want?”

Only then, couple seconds of silence later, your words seem to click and Jake pauses his game and turns to you with a slightly perplexed expression. “Wait… Could you repeat that?”

You roll your eyes. “I said, I’m gonna order som-”

“No, that word you’ve just called me,” he cuts you off with a pout. “Why would you say that?”

You shrug, dragging out your upset act although there’s barely a spark of annoyance in your system by now. 

“Dunno. Maybe I just wanted my boyfriend to pay attention to me finally after I’ve been begging for it for an hour now.”

Jake coos at you before standing up and walking over to you, abandoning his game completely and engulfing you in his embrace. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” he mumbles into your neck as you fall backwards on his bedsheets, your boyfriend on top of you. He kisses up a trail up to your jawline, then moves to your lips for a moment and dragging it out longer and longer. “Lemme make it up to you, huh?”

PARK SUNGHOON

“What’s gotten you so quiet?” Sunghoon asks as he nudges you with his hip, standing right beside you.

You finish washing your face before patting it dry with a towel, ignoring his questioning look as he pierces you through the mirror. You put the towel next to the sink before sighing.

“I don’t know, bro,” you say, biting your smile back as you notice his eyebrows raising up at the unusual nickname. “I guess I’m just tired.”

Sunghoon snorts quietly before turning to face you, leaning his hip against the marble counter. “Really?”

You look at him with fake confusion, tilting your head to the side as you blink innocently. “What do you mean?”

“If I remember correctly, I was just blowing your back out ten minutes ago and now you’re here calling me this fraternal slur?” He claps back, smiling lazily as your eyes go wide at his bold words. 

“Sunghoon! Oh my god,” you gasp, smacking his bare chest with your towel. “Have you got no shame?”

He barks out a laugh before walking up to you and grabbing you by your hips. “Maybe that’ll make you think twice before trying your stupid shit on me again.” And as these words leave his mouth, he’s leaning down and smacking his lips onto yours, already pulling you to your bedroom again.

KIM SUNOO

“A WHAT?” 

Your arms fall to your sides, and you watch as your beloved boyfriend goes into a fucking spiral over a nickname that’s just slipped out by an accident. “Sunoo, baby, please, calm d-”

“I know you did not just call me bro. Don’t ever talk to me again.”

You follow him out of the kitchen from where he storms out, an outraged expression on his face. You stifle your laughter and put on a serious facade as he drops down on the couch with an irritated huff, muttering under his nose about how unbelievable you were being.

You take a seat next to him and place your hand on his thigh. “I swear, I only said that out of habit.”

“Yeah, what’s next in the store for me?” He asks and this time you can’t help but chuckle. “No, tell me. When should I be prepared for you to start calling me homie or gang?”

“It’s not that serious!” You laugh in his face, only making his expression more sour. But how can you help it when he looks at you as if you’ve just pissed in his cereal bowl? 

“I’ve literally never been more offended in my life.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and pepper his cheeks with kisses, hoping this will ease him out sooner. “I’m sorry, my beloved, my heart, my everything.”

“Keep talking and you might be forgiven somewhere in the future.” 

YANG JUNGWON

“I was thinking about buying that one perfume lately,” you say suddenly, eyes planted at the tv as the commercial reminded you of your last trip to the mall.

“Are you sure?” Jungwon hums, resting his head over yours that’s leaned on his shoulder. “It was rather expensive, no? I don’t want you regretting buying it two days later.”

“I know, bro,” you groan and turn your face to bury it in his neck. You don’t notice his head tilting to look at you a little questionably. “That’s why I’m thinking about it. I don’t know if I’ll actually commit.”

There’s a brief silence before his sweet voice follows after the kiss he presses to your hair. 

“I don’t think that’s my name, baby.”

You pull away, slightly confused, blinking up at your boyfriend. “What?”

“Out of all the nicknames you’ve given me, I liked that one the least.”

It takes you a moment to click and finally comprehend his words, and when you do, you let out a small huff at his still rather soft way with words.

You wrap your arms around his middle. “Oh… Sorry, I didn’t actually mean to say that.”

“It’s okay,” he assures quickly, bringing you closer to his warm chest, a steady heartbeat beating underneath his sweatshirt. 

“Well, which one do you like the most?” You ask, implying to his previous thought. 

Jungwon ponders for a moment. “Hm, I don’t know. I like all of them, really. Won is pretty nice, or my love… I like dumpling surprisingly a lot too.”

You can’t help but laugh at his answer, mind barely recalling the one and only time you jokingly referred to him as a dumpling while you pinched on his dimpled cheek lovingly.

“Gosh, you’re so cute.”

NISHIMURA RIKI

“Can you pass me the salt, bro?” You ask your boyfriend who’s sitting on your left. 

You’re too focused on frowning upon the bland food you’ve made to notice how Riki’s eyebrows furrowed up at his new nickname. 

After not having a response in the following minute, you turn to him with surprise as you notice the look on his face. 

“I don’t know, sis, I think your hands are fully capable, no?” He chirps at you and you gape at him with confusion before the realization dawns on you.

You snort, shaking your head at your boyfriend. “Don’t be a child, I didn’t mean to say that. It just slipped out.”

Riki hums. “Dunno, it sounded pretty natural to me, sis. Almost as if it was your regular nickname for me, sis.”

“Stop it!” You whine out, dropping your fork before glaring at the smirking man on your left. “I didn’t mean it. Now, give me a kiss.”

You pucker your lips and lean forward, only to be met with his hand pressed flat to your mouth. Your eyebrows shoot high as he chuckles at you. 

“Sorry but I’m not into incestuous relationships.”

“Riki, c’mon!” You groan, kicking his shin underneath the table harmlessly. 

He cups your cheeks with a laugh and squishes your face with his fingers. “‘m just teasing,” he muses before leaning in and closing the gap between you. 

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© heeliopheelia 2024 // ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DO NOT copy, translate or repost any of my works on any other social platforms.

[novemberheart]

{overview} A doctor mistakes you for something you're not

{warning} fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, poly 141, panicking, MDNI mentions of masturbation towards the end

Chapter 16 <- Chapter 17 -> Chapter 18

Priya was waiting for you when you got to the bottom floor the next day. When you woke up that morning the last thing you wanted to do was get out of bed. You had slept in Johnny’s bed, well not really slept. You drifted in and out waking up every half hour from some creak in the floor, or the sound of the refrigerator making ice. When the sun started to come up you finally felt comfortable to sleep- that was cut short by your alarm.

“I know it might not sound fun, but it is,” she smiled. It felt wrong going someplace without Anais. You pushed that thought away. Surely she does things with Jane and her other friends.

The walk was nice. The weather was starting to heat up for the start of summer. You were mostly excited to tease your pack with your summer dresses.

The thought sends a pang through your heart. God you missed them.

The rec room was nice and nearly empty. A few older doctors seemed to be taking their breaks in there, playing a round of ping pong. You and Priya settled on checkers.

You had grown bored after the third round, even though you had won two of them. Priya was still invested, making the game drag on for another five rounds. She won most of them.

“Hungry?” you asked, already standing up to push your chair in. Your lower half had grown numb, the tingling verging on painful as you began to walk around the room.

“There's a vending machine in the hall,” she stood as well. Luckily your pack had left you with some money.

“What are you thinking about?” Priya asked, making you jump.

“Just miss my pack,” you sighed.

“Mmmm. I remember those days. You'll get used to it and then pretty soon you'll be wishing for some space,” she chuckled.

You couldn't imagine wanting space from them. Especially when they seemed so far away.

You bought a bag of chips- or crisps as your pack would say.

“I'm going to run to the bathroom quickly,” Priya excused herself, dodging away before you could say anything. You shrugged plopping down in a hard blue chair. This reminded you of when Simon was in the hospital. His hazel eyes droopy from all the medicine in his system. You wished you committed them to memory more, now all you got were his sharp calculating eyes.

“There you are! Come, you are needed in room B17,” a doctor- seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He reached down grabbing your arm, pulling you up from your chair. “You omegas are always taking breaks,” he growled, pulling you along. Your phone slipped out of your pocket, clattering against the tile.

“No! I'm here with a friend I'm not here to”-

“Keep your bloody voice down. People are trying to sleep,” he chided. You wondered why he was so angry. It made your stomach twist in knots, your throat running dry.

“Stop,” you growled back, pulling yourself away.

“I’ll report you if you don't knock it off. Damn holding houses always sends the difficult ones,” his grip on you was tight, too tight. You will undoubtedly have bruises tomorrow. Everyone seemed to disappear as you were tugged along the seemingly never-ending hallway.

‘Just remain calm. This is just a misunderstanding.’ you told yourself.

“Sir, stop. This is a mistake. I have my own pack here on base, you need to let me go,” you tried your hardest to keep your voice calm. He didn't seem to be listening. He opened a door and pushed you inside. “I’m not here as a healer,” you insisted.

“Stop your whining and get on with your job. You all get sent out here and then come up with every excuse to not have to do anything. I saw you playing checkers,” he spat. “This isn't a vacation.” he began to shut the door, your hands reaching forward to keep it from shutting. You quickly lost. The door locking into place. What kind of place has locks on the outside of the door?

“Fuckfuckfuck,” you repeated, surveying the room you were tossed into. There were two large men hooked up to various machines. You knew what you were sent in here to do. The same reason you were sent here for Simon. One man was sleeping peacefully and you couldn't quite grasp what was wrong with him. The other man had been beaten to a pulp. His face was black and purple. You couldn't bear to look at him for more than a few seconds. You approached the other bed cautiously, looking for a call button on the side of the bed. You found it, digging your thumb into it like your life depended. It very well may.

After a minute of pressing no response.

Two minutes passed, your eyes trained on the clock above the door.

“You,” a low voice from the other bed alerted you. Your blood ran cold. Your eyes quickly fled to the bed, you couldn't tell if his eyes were open or not. “Don't hurt me anymore. I payed enough.” your brows furrowed before the realization hit you like a bolt of lightning.

It was him. One of the men who attacked you. The one who pulled the other one away.

The one that was missing.

You backed up heading towards the door. You needed out. You needed out right now.

“I only did it because Lieutenant Hale asked me to. We weren't going to hurt you,” the man practically whimpered.

“What did Hale want?” you questioned, trying to hold steady.

“I don't know. I didn't know who you were when he asked me to get you. He just gave me a description of what you smelled like. I didn't even know you were 141 till you turned around. I would've never done anything had I known,” he was shaking more than you at this point, his heart rate monitor going off the charts.

A sudden heat filled you. You couldn't tell if it was rage or fear but there was no stopping it.

“You shouldn't have done it anyways,” you snarled. You held all the power. You alphas had protected you. The evidence was right in front of your face. You were a part of their pack- it was time you started to act like it. “Fuckin disgusting,” you spat. You turned back around pounding on the door with all your might.

The door unlocked and you pushed it open before the person on the other end had time to think.

“Get back in there and stop”- it was the same doctor from earlier, his grip on your arms returning.

“I’m not a freelance omega,” you snarled. His eyes widened at your disrespect. “You know who my Alphas are? Captain John Price and Lieutenant Ghost. That ring a bell?”

It was cliche but the results were immediate. His hands left you, instead resting against the wall, the other one patting his chest.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I had no idea”-

“Instead of thinking you know everything, how about you listen to people. Especially omegas. We don't owe you anything and deserve to be treated with respect,” you chided. He quickly nodded his head, too panicked to disagree. “You put my life at risk.”

“You're absolutely right. I'll start”- you didn't wait for him to finish turning on your heels walking back down the hall, and grabbing your phone.

You breathed in the fresh air like you had been under dense smog for years. You leaned against the building, quickly texting Priya.

I'm outside by the door we came in. You aren't going to believe what happened

I went home! You disappeared… wanna hang out tomorrow?

You rolled your eyes, already heading back home.

You left her on read.

You slept peacefully that night.

Your phone ringing woke you up. Your heart pounded at the sound.

“Hello,” you answered quickly.

“Hey, peaches,” Johnny’s voice went in through your ears all the way down to your toes.

“Mac,” you whined.

“None of that,” he snipped gently. “I wake you up?”

“No,” you lied. “I am in your bed though,”

He groaned from the other end.

“What are you wearing?” he purred, making you giggle. You put on your best seductive voice.

“Nothing,” you whispered.

“You’re a new type of evil, hen,” he chuckled. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” you sighed. “Very much.”

“Alpha wants to talk to you. I'll see you soon, Bon,” Johnny ended. You heard a bit of shuffling your heart rate picking back up.

“How you doin’ pretty girl?” the muscles in your body went lax at the sound of John’s voice. He'd only been gone for about four days and you had already forgotten the effect his voice had on you.

“John,” you breathed into the phone. “I miss you.”

He sighed heavily into the phone- bordering on a growl.

“We’ll be back in three days, pretty. Finishing up here early. Then we’ll be all yours, okay?” he eased.

“Okay,” you agreed. Your head felt light. If this was how you felt now you could only imagine how bad it would be when you were finally marked. “Be safe.”

“Always.” he lied, hanging up.

You stretched out under the covers. Your body was warm and tingly, with a tight constriction in your lower abdomen.

You don't get “excited” often. Unless it’s your heat of course. You had little to no interactions with suitors, only being constantly surrounded by your peers. When you were around “potential” mates you never felt much desire towards them.

Your pack changed that.

You've suddenly found yourself in a puddle most of the time, your thighs clenching at the most inopportune times. Kyle and his feathery touches, the way his lips always skimmed your neck when he would whisper to you late at night. Johnny and the way his hands seemed to be permanently glued to your hips, squeezing your soft flesh. The way John’s beard scraped against your cheek or your lips. It was easy to imagine what it felt like against your thighs. Then there was Simon. He wasn't incredibly physical with you, but that left even more to the imagination.

You groaned, rolling over onto your back.

You did have the place to yourself. Your finger danced across your stomach, trying to imagine they were Kyle's instead. You slowly slipped them under the waistband of your underwear, moving to where you felt it should go.

You were pathetic. You hardly even knew how to touch yourself.

A few minutes later you had dried up, frustration the only thing on your mind. You growled rolling back over to bury your face into Johnny’s pillows.

Maybe when your pack got back they could help you with your problem.

Hi friends! Short chapter today! I'll see you in two days for chapter 18! The boys come back! 🧡 I wonder how they’ll react to your little run-in with the doctor……

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Introducing: the official Dance Rush x Souls-like AU collab!

(credits to @nobody-nexus for the initial sketch of SL!Pomni <3)

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY NOW AND IT'S HERE, IT'S FINALLY HERE!

As I've said before, the Dance Rush x Souls-like collab is a special event to celebrate my birthday. The Amazing Digital Dance Rush is an AU owned by @nobody-nexus, my lovely bf <3, and is ABSOLUTELY worth checking out.

During this event, there wouldn't be changes in the scenery yet. That is, until Pomni asks Caine, from his office desk, what the golden microphone is for.

He then says that he's been "testing out an event to keep things fresh", without having to rely on boss-rushes entirely to entertain the current players, since it might "get boring".

He then whisks Pomni away to an entirely new map, an altered version of the Main lounge of the manor.

(Couldn't finish this one, I got really sick at the time of making this.)

Once Pomni is done exploring, Caine then takes her to the Idols stage, where she'll be facing down with three chosen idols in a third person, bullet-hell styled gameplay mayhem. A "Dance Rush event", if you will. ;)

(Sorry, I couldn't finish this one either. Body aches be damned)

There are three bosses for this event, and they are the DR variants whom are completely AI, and non-sentient.

Defeating "Idol_1" gives Pomni the Dance Rush skin, and an unlockable cyberpunk sword, as well as a new special called "Style break". (For normal players post-canon, they'll get a DR!Pomni NPC, being all sorts of useful from giving out gameplay tips, to offering a second chance on a halfway checkpoint if the player fails the current run.)

Defeating "Idol_2" allows Jax to access the Dance Rush skin, and a new special. (For normal players post-canon, they'll get a DR!Jax NPC, who will openly berate and flirt at the same time. He gives out side quests that allows the players to find stronger upgrades for main game.)

Defeating "Idol_3" allows Caine to change into the Dance Rush outfit. Normal players in post-canon will get a golden microphone, as well as a DR!Caine NPC that is just as wacky as the original is.

(He also finally permits access to the rest of the event's contents, such as a brand new map that's entirely explorable, and filled with mini-games if players wanted a break from main game's contents. He also gives Pomni the option to "mute" the pain system of the game, but warns her that doing this ruins "immersion". Ofc, Pomni doesn't care lmfao)

Both the Agent!Gummigoo and Agent!Moon skins remain locked until Dance Rush!Pomni and Caine are "topped in their high score leaderboards" (via doing a no-hit S+rank run), respectively.

Both the Agents, once unlocked, give out specialized items that aid Pomni during the gameplay, as well as having new rounds of dialogues that are immensely different from their original souls-like counterparts.

Caine never got to work on the others beyond Jax since if this was canon, this event would take place around Pomni's late game.

It's unlikely that this'll be a one-post event, so once I recover from my flu I'll be making more DRxSL content.

[teliphone]

Rank F

Summary: Baekyeon Girls High School isn’t your typical day-to-day high school. We run in a voting game system of A - F rank where the students get to vote for their classmates on an app called Pyramid Game. The more votes you get, the higher you will rank. Level A students have power over students while F is the opposite. I accepted the offer letter to go to this school without thinking deeply. Level A student, Baek Harin is there to protect me in exchange for myself. Would I be able to escape this messed-up game or fall helplessly?

Warning(s): Bullying, Hitting, Threats, Guilt, Emotional Manipulation, Overstimulation, Smut, Fingering, Oral, Sub!Reader, slight exhibitionism, slight praise kink 

Word Count: 7.2k

-

I shift uncomfortably on the single-cushion couch. I glance around the office, examining the architecture and interior. Compared to my current school, this one is much better. It is clear that whoever owns this school is rich. I clench onto my offer letter. 

“Ahem,” The head chief clears her throat. I snap my attention back to her. She holds her hands together on the desk and smiles. 

“Thank you for being patient with our meeting time. My schedule has been hectic, but I am glad we agreed on a day. Now, what is the question you have been asking?” She questions. I unfold the letter and place it on her desk. She tilts her head to the side as she reads the message. Her eyebrows lift with a delighted hum.

“You have been offered to go to Baekyeon Girl’s High School,” She beams. I blink at her in confusion. She continues smiling as she waits for me to speak. 

“But I didn’t do anything to get this offer,” I explain. She purses and puckers her lips. 

“Well, you see… This is a special offer letter,” She points at the signature on the bottom of the letter, “The president must have heard good things about you which resulted in you receiving an offer letter.”

“Who would tell the president about me? I don’t know anyone who goes here,” I try not to sound tense. 

“There are many students that go to this school, I am afraid I can’t figure that out. But whoever requested for you must have done a good job influencing the president,” She chirps. She brings her hands over to the cup of pens. She plays around with it a little. 

“Are you interested in taking the offer?” She asks with a calm voice. I look down at the letter, deep in thought. I have heard good things about Baekyeon Girls High School. Most of the high-power parent’s daughter goes here. If I go to this school, I may have a chance to become friends with them. It sounds selfish, but this is where I can network. What if I meet one of their parents? My mind buzzes with future opportunities that I might receive. 

“Yes.”

-

I nervously brush my uniform: classic white button-up, black tie, and a long black skirt. Today is the first day of attending this school. The head chief offers to walk me to my classroom. The walk is quite longer than I expected. The classroom is on the far left of the building. I glance around and notice how quiet the halls are. She stops in front of a door and turns to face me. 

“This is the room. You know where to find me if you have any more questions. Welcome to Baekyeon Girls High Y/n,” She smiles and leaves me. I nervously gulp while staring at the door. I feel small compared to the door all of a sudden. I slide the door open which causes all the students to pause and stare. I anxiously walk over to the professor. I give him the slip of paper. As he reads the paper, I quickly glance around the room. My eyes stop at a figure I recognize. I widen my eyes. It’s Baek Harin. Our history is not much. She’s a regular customer at a restaurant I worked at. I quit a few months ago. 

“New student huh?” The professor says. I nod my head. He gestures toward the girls and looks at me bored. 

“Well, introduce yourself,” He sighs. I lift my head higher and clench my fist. 

“Hello everyone. My name is Y/n L/n. Please treat me well,” I announce while bowing my head. He looks around the room and hums. 

“I guess you can sit in the back with Sooji-”

“She can sit with me,” Harin cuts. I look at her confused. There is already another girl sitting next to her. The girl looks at Harin in shock, but Harin remains emotionless. She turns her head to face the girl. 

“Move,” She snaps. 

“B-but,”

“Do I have to repeat myself?” Harin smiles coldly. The girl looks like she’s about to cry as she gets up from her seat. The classroom remains silent beside the sound of the girl gathering all her stuff in a hurry. I wonder how Harin has so much authority over the students. Is there a power system happening in class? Once she leaves to sit in the back, Harin turns her attention to me. 

“You can sit with me,” She suggests, but it sounds more like a demand. My feet automatically move in her direction and she smiles brightly. I take a seat next to her and I get a sniff of her perfume. She smells good. There is also a hint of something I can’t place my finger on. Maybe cigarettes? That’s not possible though. How can a pretty angel-looking girl like her smoke?

“Thank you,” I whisper to her. She nods her head happily and then returns her attention to the professor. I look around the room and notice all the students staring at me besides Harin. I snap my neck away from them. From the corner of my eyes, I can observe her more. Her brushed and slightly curled hair catches my attention. It looks so soft. My eyes lowered to look at her long and black eyelashes. She flutters them slowly, expressing she's paying close attention to the lesson. My eyes dip to her lips. They are so plump, glossy, and pink. Her lips curve into a small smile suddenly. I glance up to catch her looking at me in the corner of her eye.  Embarrassment blossoms on my cheeks and I avert my attention to my textbooks.  

It took a while, but the lesson finally ended. I lean back onto my chair to stretch a little. Harin turns her body to me and rests her chin on the palm of her hand. Her eyes glint with muse. 

“I placed you as grade A,” She starts. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

“A?” 

“Yes. You are welcome. No one is going to hurt you as long as you’re here with me,” She explains. I decide not to question. I didn’t understand, but as long as I’m with her I would be okay. I slowly nod my head. She giggles and leans closer to my bubble like she’s testing how far she can go. I notice but I don’t move. She drags her tongue on her lips and I foolishly watch. She puckers her lips out in expression. 

“How did you hear about this school?” She asks. 

“I got an offer letter… and I accepted it,” I cut it short. She nods her head playfully. 

“Who do you think requested you to come?” She teases. It didn’t take long for me to realize she was the one who requested me. My eyebrows arch up in confusion. I didn’t understand why Harin would request me to come to her school. Why is it now that she wants to get close? I hear her chuckle which brings me out of my thoughts.

“Why would you do that?” I question. She bursts my bubble by leaning into my ear. 

“Because I think you’re cute. Have I ever told you that?”  Her mouth brushes lightly against my earlobe. My hands clench. I avert my eyes down and feel my cheeks blushing shamefully. I hate how much she makes me react with little knowledge of her. The way my stomach feels makes me shaky. I tap my feet anxiously. She notices my obvious reaction and smiles. 

“When you quit your job I got so sad. I searched everywhere for you. Once I found you I wanted you to go to the best school there is… which is here. Will you show your gratitude to me?” She hums. She places her cold hand on my upper thigh, halting my movement. I snap my head towards her with widen eyes. She beams happily with a curious glare in her eyes. I shake my head no. She dares by moving her hands higher, nearly touching my panties. I abruptly stand from my seat, squeaking my chair backward. My breathing is heavy as if I am a mad woman. My classmates stare at me in surprise while Harin smirks and leans back in her chair. I avert my eyes to the door. I need to escape. The only place to excuse myself is the bathroom. I shuffle my feet quickly to get out. I made a mistake by accepting the letter. Harin sighs and tilts her head towards the window. The blue sky is clear. 

“Fun,” She grins. 

-

It has been a week since that happened and Harin always wants me near her.

There was a time when I heard a loud slam from the back of the room. I flinched and turned to look. I watched as rank B students kicked rank F students in the stomach. My eyes widen and I freeze. How is no one in this room helping her? Why is everyone just continuing their day like nothing? I got up to help, but Harin grabbed my arm. She smiled and shook her head. 

“Don’t get involved. It’s just part of the game,” She beamed. I stared at her in shock. She tugged my arm harder causing me to sit down. 

“It’s okay. As long as you’re with me… that will never happen to you!” She chirped and returned her attention to her assignment. I am speechless. I hear student F begging for them to stop. I shudder in fear. 

-

Harin drags me by my arm to her secret hideout during break time. I sit on the high wooden crates and watch her light up her cigarettes. I widen my eyes in shock. So the hint of cigarette smell did come from her. How does a beautiful angelic face like her enjoy smoking? One of her hands holds her white and gold lighter, while the other grips a cigarette between two fingers. She sucks in the stick and breathes out. The smoke bothers me, but I watch her in awe. She looks at me with a playful glint in her eyes.

“Why are you staring at me like that? Are you shocked I smoke?” She laughs. I shake my head no. She walks closer to me til she can sneak her body between my legs and blows smoke into my face. I grimace at the scent. She chuckles and places her free hand on my chin. Her thumb gently grazes my button lip curiously before she pulls it down. She places her cigarette between my lips and nods her head. 

“Suck.” She orders. I shake my head no which results in her gripping my chin harder. I wince in pain, but her face remains blank. Her wide dilated eyes stare back. 

“Suck,” She repeats more sternly. I try to find a way to refuse, but with the way she looks… I decided to submit. My eyes gloss as I obey her. I wrap my lips around the tip of the cigarette while looking at her. I realize that something stirs in her every time I listen to her. She becomes flustered and watches closely as I suck in the deadly fumes. The smoke burns the back of my throat and I start coughing. Yanking the cig out, she places it back into her mouth and takes a short drag. She smiles with her dull eyes. Tears gather on the surface of my eyes as I come out of the cough. She places her free on top of my black skirt. She brings her face close to mine.

“I want to kiss you,” She hums. I immediately lean my face to the side to avoid her glossy lips. She grips my skirt in anger, her face remains emotionless, but her eyes express so much disappointment. After composing herself she fakes a smile. 

“The harder you deny me, the more I want to break you,” She admits. My heart rate picks up at her confession. I gulp nervously. She decides to stop her action and removes herself from me. I suddenly feel guilty. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I didn’t want her to lose interest in me. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologize. She crosses her free hand and waves her other hand that holds the cig. 

“Get lost,” She concludes. I slide off the wooden crates and onto my feet. I wanted to say more, but with her back to my face, I couldn’t utter a sound. I lower my head and walk away. When I get close to the classroom door I accidentally bump into someone. I turn my head up to see who. It’s Sooji. She looks emotionless til she furrows her eyebrows at me. I feel guilty again. 

“Sorry. I should’ve watched where I was going-“

“You smoke?” She questions. I widen my eyes and wave my hands timidly. I didn’t realize how the scent of cigarettes had stuck itself onto my clothes. 

“N-no. It’s-“ I stop myself. I shouldn’t reveal Harin’s secret. It will ruin her image. 

“These guys were smoking near my bus stop,” I lie. Sooji nods her head slowly. I smile at her because she took the lie. She takes a step towards the door but I stop her by holding her arm. She looks at me curiously. Her deep and emotionless stare reminds me of Harin. I lick my lips and avert my eyes to the ground. 

“How do you feel about the game?” I ask, looking back up. Sooji grips her fist. 

“...I hate the game. Whoever made the game is a psychopath,” She reveals. As she answers me I notice she’s staring past my head. I follow her gaze and see Harin walking over. She eyes my hand on Sooji’s arm and I self-cautiously return my hand to my side. 

“Hi, Sooji!” She beams sweetly. Sooji doesn’t respond. Harin smiles widely with her teeth showing. A fake and numbing smile which I’ve seen many times before. She turns her attention to me and it makes me halt my thoughts. 

“Hi, Y/N… Ready for class?” She chirps. 

“Y-yes,” I reply, rubbing my thumb across my knuckles. She stares at me carefully before placing her hand on the door behind me. I cowardly under her pressure. Her body and the door trap me in between. I blush at her body heat against mine. I glance over at Sooji who is examining our interaction. I feel a wave of embarrassment run down my spine. Why is Harin doing this in front of her? It’s making me shy and… greedy. Harin chuckles darkly. She slides the door open and leaves me breathless. Sooji watches me silently with an unexplainable look. I turn to walk in the door without looking back. 

-

I have rejected Harin’s kiss over and over and it has finally ticked her off.

“Aren’t you grateful you’re in grade A? If it weren’t for me, you would be in F,” She hisses, “Is this how you thank me? Do you need to learn your place?” Tears threaten to fall down my cheekbones. I can’t bear to look at her further. She looks evil. Her eyes are dilated and blank. She takes small steps forward which results in me walking backwards. She grabs my tie and slams me against the wall. I wince at the pain that spread across my back. She leans her lips to my ears. I push her shoulders, but she remains taking up my space and mind. 

“Since you’re making yourself difficult for me… I have no choice but to make you rank F,” She sighs, “So that I can do anything I want to you.” I halt my movement to stare at her in fear. I am lost for words. Her true nature is revealing and it frightens me. She looks down to my lips and a sigh escapes hers. She looks back into my eyes. Lust clouds her mind. 

“Stop,” I beg. She begins to lean her face in. I close my eyes as tears roll down. I hate it. I don’t want it. The classroom door suddenly slams open. Harin removes herself from me and I weakly collapse onto the ground. I look up to see Soojin walking in. She spares me one glance before walking to her seat. Ignoring us, she starts placing her notebooks and pens on the table. I wanted to get up and thank her for saving me from that, but I remained seated at the bottom of Harin’s feet. Harin remains emotionless and returns to her seat. She pulls out her phone and types something. Her posture is straight. I let out a sound of disbelief. She did all of that and can still act normal?

“What are you doing on the ground?” My classmates ask as they start flooding in. 

“I dropped a pencil. It’s gone now,” I lie. They help me stand to my feet. I shuffle over to my seat. Harin ignores my presence and I feel a pain in my heart. I sit down quietly. I glance over her to see her emotionlessly staring at the board. Seo Doah, our class president, stands in front of the class.

“Today is the last Thursday of the month,” She says. I widen my eyes. Already? How is it already the end of the month? I look at Harin to see her lips curl into a small smile. Memories of her threatening my rank flood my mind.

“The 13th Pyramid game…starts now,” Doah announces. Shuffling sounds of students getting out the phones start. I reach for my phone with shaky hands. I press on the pyramid app and freeze. I have always placed Harin as my first vote and I assume she would do the same to me. There’s no way she would switch up now right? Just because I didn’t let her kiss me? I type down Baek Harin as my first. I look over to see that Harin had already finished. Her phone rests on the table as she crosses her arms. I quickly finish up my votes. After a couple more minutes, the voting officially ended. Doah looks at the results and hesitates. Her eyes glance at me for a second before she looks down again. 

“The results are up. Please refresh,” She says. I hover my finger over the refresh button. Sounds of students mumbling amongst each other start getting louder. I press it. My eyes gloss in fear as I lift my head to look at Harin. I am grade F just like she said I would be. Suddenly I hear a loud whistle which makes me flinch. Three students grades B, C and D surround me like predators. 

“I am surprised to see Harin’s pet drop from A to F!” Student B laughs. She strokes my hair like I am a dog. Student D pushes my textbooks onto the ground so she can sit on my desk. She tugs my chin and forces me to look at her. 

“This is exciting. I always wanted to play with you,” She chuckles. Harin gently gets up from her seat and I beg her with my eyes to help me. She looks at the three students with a fake happy look. 

“I don’t want to see any bruises or cuts on her, remember the rules,” She says. Student B giggles and pulls my head into her chest. 

“Of course~” She chirps. Tears threaten to fall down my cheek. I feel so betrayed. I feel so lost. Harin’s talking about me as if it didn’t matter if they bully me. Did she not care? Am I just another toy? I clench my fist and try pushing the student's hands away from me. 

“Harin please,” I beg. She ignores me and walks away from her desk. I am abandoned.

-

I grunt in pain as student D throws me against the basketball metal cart. She places her shoes against my stomach and leans her weight onto me. The softness of my stomach feels crushed under her feet. I claw at her ankles.

“Please stop,” I cry out. They have been bullying me for the past fifteen minutes since it was announced that I am ranked F. Student C laughs and leans down to level with my face. She brushes her thumb against my cheeks to wipe my tears.

“Awh is Y/N begging?” She pouts. She stands up and kicks the side of my stomach multiple times.  

“Hey wait. Harin told us not to get her bruised,” Student B remembers. They stop their movement which allows me to suck in a breath. I groan in pain and roll aside in an attempt to run away from them. 

“Oh shoot you’re right,” Student D worries.

“What are we going to do?”

“If Harin finds out… We’ll be in big trouble,”

“How about we-”

As they discuss amongst themselves, I pull myself to my feet using the metal cart. I bite my lips in pain to avoid making noises. I quietly walk myself towards the door. Suddenly a hand grabs my hair and pulls me back onto the ground. I let out a yelp. 

“You thought you could just sneak past us?” Student B chuckles. She tugs my tie and slaps me across the face. 

The bullying continued for another five minutes until they got tired and left me on the floor of the gym storage room. Finally, it is silent. I let out a shaky breath. Tears continue to roll down. I cry, but no sound comes out. I clench my jaw and pull myself off the ground. I drag myself to the door. 

I bump into Sooji first in the middle of the soccer field. She has a notepad in her hands which indicates she’s running an errand for the professor. Her eyes soften when she notices my watery eyes. 

“Sooji,” I start to sob. I face down to the ground in humiliation. My fist clenches to my sides and my body shakes uncontrollably. She drops the notepad and walks over. She places her fingers over the buttons on my shirt which have gotten loose during the bullying session. She fixes it as I continue to cry. 

“T-thank you,” I sniff. 

“I can help you. We can get rid of this game once and for all. If you want to join me… give me your phone,” She explains. With shaky hands, I grasp and pull out my phone. I wipe my tears with my sleeves. 

“Can you really get rid of it?” I whimper. She looks deep into my eyes.

“Do you trust me?” She asks. The wind blows past my shoulders. I pause deep in thought. I would do anything to get rid of the F rank from my name. Desperation floods my veins. Without answering her vocally, I hand her my device and watch her type in her number. She hands it back to me.

“We’ll keep in contact secretly. I still don’t know who is running this game, but I have a hunch,” She discusses. She picks up the notepad. 

“I’m going to leave so that people won’t get suspicious. I’ll message you soon,” She says before walking past me. I smile sadly and continue dragging myself to class. The pain in my stomach is starting to throb. As I walk up the stairs of the school building, I wince at each step. Sweat starts collecting on my neck. I take a break to catch my breath. This can’t be the reality I live in… I refuse. I hear footsteps which causes me to look over. 

Harin. 

She wears a beige sweater over the school's white button-up. Her neatly brushed hair rests on her shoulders. She has a bright smile on her face. She walks over and scans my body carefully. I feel small and dirty under her gaze. My white button-up has patches of dirt and shoe marks. My hair is messy and tangled. Her nose scrunches in disgust and my stomach flips. Do I look that bad?

“I’m sorry,” I don’t know why those words came out of my mouth. I don’t even know what I am apologizing for. My lips quiver in shame. She fakes a pout and leans close to my ears. 

“Hang in there. It’s not your fault,” She whispers in venom. She takes a step away from me, but I clench onto her arm. She gasps in shock. 

“Please help me, Harin. I will do anything,” I cry. She leans her face down and chuckles darkly. She tugs her arm away from me and my hand falls to my side. I stare up at her between my water eyelashes. She places her shoes on top of mine and presses down. An act of power. 

“I’ll think about it. For now, I need to break you more,” She shrugs and walks away. Leaving me sobbing. As she walks away I feel my life crashing. No! Why is she leaving me? I need her! She is the answer to my escape!

“There you are~” I hear student B tease. I freeze in fear. 

-

The bullying continues for five more days. Harin continues to ignore me. I watch as she laughs joyfully with her friends. I worry she has truly forgotten about me. I’ve started to accept my fate. The bruises and cuts on my body have gotten more intense. 

I stare at myself in front of the PE locker room mirror. My button shirt is unbuttoned, exposing my bra and stomach. The bruises and cuts have started to become more visible. I rub my fingers across the bruise on my hip and hiss in pain. My under-eye bag has gotten darker. I have started to lose weight. I hug my body tight. The door swings open and I quickly cover my chest with my arms. I watch the culprit walk over using the mirror. 

“What are you doing here?” Harin asks. I shake my head, unable to speak. She examines my exposed stomach and I see her eyes widen.

“What is that?” She points at my bruises. I stay quiet. She tugs my shirt and I try to push her hands away. She doesn’t stop til she successfully removes the shirt from my body. The cold air makes my skin prickle. She stares at my body and I blush in embarrassment. I have cuts and bruises all over. I feel ugly. I don’t want her to see me like this. She gently puts her hand over my cut and I hiss as she scraps her fingernail across it. 

“Those fools… I told them not to leave a bruise or cut on you,” She fumes. She looks up to my watery eyes. 

“I’ll fix this,” She promises. She picks up my shirt and helps me get into it. Then she hugs me. Her gentle and warm touches make me sob. I have not felt this in so long. She successfully broke me. I nervously clench my hands on her sweater. I want to hold onto her. I want to be in her arms forever. I feel safe. She removes herself from the hug. She smiles and cups my face. She brings her face close. 

“Do you agree with everything I say? I can help you with this,” She asks. 

“Yes. Please help me,” I beg. Her eyes dilate and she places a kiss on my forehead. 

“Let's get you clean up.” Her gentle fingers help me the whole way. Once she sees that I am good, she tells me to come back to class. 

I walk behind her as we enter the classroom. The room grows quiet and they stare at us. Harin looks around till she sees the three students that have been bullying me. She calls them over with a smile which they gladly obey. She suddenly pulls me forward with her hand on the back of my neck and rips the top of my shirt open. My collarbone is exposed, revealing a bruise. I blush at the stares of students on my skin. 

“Didn’t I tell you not to leave a bruise on her?” Harin hums. The three students' eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights. Harin waits patiently with her fingers rubbing my neck. She waits to see what kind of lame excuse they are going to come up with.

“We left a bruise?! Oh my goodness I did not know! I promise we didn’t go hard. She must have done that to herself!” Student B urges. 

“Is that true? Did you do this to yourself?” Harin asks me. Why is the attention back on me? I turn to look at the three students who stare at me with anger. I can tell they want me to lie or I would get punished worse. My fist clenches in frustration. All the days they have tortured me. They deserve to rot. 

“They did this to me,” I fum. They stare at me in shock. 

“I see,” Harin breathes. The three girls quickly bow down to our feet. I feel a sense of power seeing them at my feet. 

“I order no one to touch Y/n from now on even though she’s an F. She’s mine,” Harin announces. I feel a gush of love flood all over my body. I’m hers. She told the whole classroom. I am not a secret. She saved me. I watch as she places her foot onto Student B’s hand. She applies pressure, causing the student to wince. 

“As for you three. I have exposed your family's dirty company secrets to the world. This is what happens when you don’t listen to me,” She chuckles. The three students gasps and cry out, but Harin turns her attention to me. She buttons up my shirt and pats my cheeks. 

“Let’s go to our seat,” She chirps. Her hands never leave my upper thighs the whole class time. Rubbing her thumb against the flesh of my inner thigh. She gives it a squish a couple of times and bites her bottom lip. Embarrassingly enough, I ignore the wetness that has built up between my legs. I am addicted to being hers. 

“Come home with me today,” She whispers. 

“Okay,” I breathe. She gives my thighs another squeeze. My body humiliatingly jerks up. I gently place a hand on top of hers. She raises an eyebrow. She wonders if I am planning to remove her hand, but I wasn’t planning that. In fact I start playing with her fingers. In awe at how smooth and long her fingers are. She allows me to play with her fingers.

-

“Ready to come home?” She asks me as she puts on her backpack. I put mine on and nod my head. I don’t know what she has planned, but I trust her. I want her to do anything to me and I would be thankful for it. She holds my hands and I feel my cheeks burn up. During the whole walk, she never let go. Students would stare, but I am glad they are. They need to know I am hers and, hopefully, in some way, she is mine. We wait by the road of the school and a black Mercedes pulls up. The driver comes out and opens the door for us. I agape in amazement. She is super rich. During the car ride, she distanced herself. She focuses her attention on her phone. I stay quiet, but I deeply crave her attention and touch. I distract myself by staring out the window. Twenty minutes pass and we start pulling up at a mansion. I gulp nervously. 

“You live here?” I gasp. She laughs and pulls out a cigarette. In a quick motion, she flicks the lighter and lights the end of the cig. She smokes it and continues walking. I follow behind like a lost dog. She finishes about halfway before flicking it to the ground. She continues walking, I turn around to see a maid picking up the cig. The doors of the mansion open as she approaches. A few maid bows to greet us. 

“Leave us alone for the rest of the day,” Harin orders. They quietly nod their heads and turn to exit. I stare around the building. The ceilings are tall and the windows expose large amounts of light in. The walls are pearl white and the chandelier glow. We end up in her room. I can tell by the scent that engulfed me when I entered. I stand awkwardly at the door, not knowing what to do. Harin walks to her closet and pulls out a pink bathrobe. She hands it to me and I blush. 

“Go use my shower. I’ll be next door showering as well,” She explains. I stare at the robe. 

“What? Do you not want to?” She questions slowly. I immediately shake my head.

“I do! I will do anything you ask,” I promise. She chuckles, her eyes dilating. She licks her lips and crosses her arms. She turns her body to the door and exits. I stand like a fool in the middle of her room before enter her bathroom and bite my lips. I slowly pull the black tie from my collar, staring at myself in her mirror; watching my fingers unbutton each button on my white shirt. I tug my black skirt down til it falls to my ankle. I turn my face away from the mirror and remove my underclothes then stepped into the shower. Once the water touches my skin I relax. I hum and close my eyes. The water relaxes my tense body. 

Once I was done I walked out and wrapped myself in the pink bathrobe. I explore all her skin care products. With curiosity, I apply some to my face. The moisturizer sinks into my skin. I feel refreshed and clean. I walk out of the bathroom and see her sitting on her bed typing on her phone. With close inspection, it’s my phone she’s looking at. She’s in a white bathrobe. Her face lightens up when she sees me. She pats the empty side of the bed next to her. I shyly obey and crawl onto the bed. My knees feel the soft and smooth textures of her bed sheets. I sit next to her and play with my fingers. She places my phone on her bed desk and turns her attention to me. My face is already flustered red. She draws her fingers along my face. She drags her thumb across my bottom lip. 

“I’ve been waiting to kiss you for so long,” She sighs. She tilts her head to stare at my eyes as she continues to play with my lips. My eyes feel heavy with lust. She gets in between my legs, her skin brushes against mine. She places her hands beside my head and leans in. She doesn’t ask for permission as she grazes her lips against mine as a test. Her lips are so soft and plump. I crave more. She returns to kissing me. I sigh in pleasure as her tongue brushes against mine. I wrap my arms around her neck to pull her closer. My mind is clouded with lust, I forget to breathe. She pulls away, leaving a trail of spit that connects us. She smiles sinfully. She bends to my ear as her hands explore my body underneath the robe. 

“I broke you,” She chuckles. She nips my ear and I yelp. She laughs and brushes her tongue against the shell of my ear. She dips her face against my neck and grazes her teeth against it. She bites and I shut my eyes while wincing. 

“Please be gentle,” I choke. She tugs my bathrobe open and cups her cold fingers around my chest. She pinches my nub harshly. My body thrashes and arches. 

“I don’t want to,” She purrs. She starts sucking on my nibble. Her tongue rolls around it, coating her wet saliva all over. Every time she bites down I cry out. Tears start collecting in the corner of my eye. She glances at my teary eyes and her eyes soften. She leans up to gently kiss my temple. Her other hand sneaks between my legs. 

“W-wait!” I gasp. She quiets me by leaving sloppy kisses on my lips. Her fingers play with my inner thigh, not touching my core. She pulls away, her eyes heavy and cheeks red. I stare at her between my legs. Her white robe fell off her shoulders, exposing her body.  My thighs forcefully open between her hips. She leans back to look at me. My hair is displaced all over her pillow. My chest rose up and down fast. My cunt glistens and her mouth waters. 

‘Let me in,” She blushes. I reach down to cover my cunt, but she jerks my hand above my head. Her skin rubs against my core and I grunt in embarrassment. She pepper kisses around my neck and ear. 

“Let me make you feel good,” She purrs. I gasp for air when I feel her middle finger graze my wet cunt. She touches just the surface area and it leaves me sighing. She brings the finger to my face with a proud smile. 

“You’re wet,” She breathes. She returns her fingers to the top of my cunt and refuses to move. She leans in. 

“I am going to ask just one more time. Will you let me in?” Her eyes are dark. My train of thought is messed up. I can’t think clearly. She clouds my mind. 

“Yes,” I finally choke out. She immediately rubs her two fingers against my clit. I arch my back and let out a cry. The humiliating sound of my wet core being played by her finger starts to sound louder. Suddenly she removes her fingers, allowing me to breathe. She kneels back. 

“Take the bathrobe off,” She demands. I rub my wet eyes before obeying her. I tug the pink robe off me completely and the cold air tickles me. She takes off her white rub and I stare lustfully at her body. Her smooth skin and curves look so biteable. She places two hands on both my thighs and splits them apart wider. I widen my eyes when I see her lowering her face to my core. Her bare butt lifts up. 

“H-harin!” I blush. She sticks out her tongue and licks a long drag up. I moan, putting the back of my hand against my mouth. She spreads my wetness and her saliva around my clit. She licks and sucks. My thighs shake around her head. I moan loudly. My hands go down to touch her head. She looks up at me between my thighs. I see her mouth glisten with my wetness. I breathe heavily. My hair sticks against my sweaty forehead and neck. She pushes my thighs apart further and licks harshly.

“W-wait! I- I am,” I can’t continue my sentence without moaning. Her tongue is so good against my core. I shove my hand against her head to push her away. I am too stimulated. I don’t know how much longer I can last. She leans away with a hard look on her features. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. She shoves her two fingers into my core. I cry out and thrash my body. 

“Don’t push me away ever again,” She grunts between each thrust. Tears roll down my cheeks. Her long and skillful fingers plunge into me deep. I lean my head back into the pillow. I moan loudly which makes her smile. My legs fall onto her shoulders and she leans her body forward. She watches my features carefully; examining how my eyes close and my mouth opens wide to release sighs and moans. 

“Harin.. Ah!” I cry. She continues abusing her fingers into me. Deep and fast. I knew I wasn’t going to last longer. I feel my walls clenching around her digits. My stomach feels funny. 

“Agh! I am close!” She kisses my forehead. With a few more thrusts, I come to her hand. She lets me catch my breath against her ear. She removes her soaking fingers from my core. As she examines the wetness coating her finger, my phone rings. She looks at my phone on her side desk and watches how it vibrates against the wood. I turn my head over to see who is calling me. My heart drops. 

Sooji is calling me.

Harin laughs bitterly, her eyes glinting with jealousy. I turn my body over and reach for my phone. My bare butt facing Harin. I fumble as I try to decline the call, but Harin presses her body against my back. She leans her mouth onto my ear. 

“Answer it,” She hisses. She kisses my shoulders. 

“What?” I blush. Harin rubs her hand down my back. She stops at my butt and slaps it. I flinch forward. 

“Answer it and don’t moan,” I let out a breathy sigh.  With shaky fingers, I click on the green answer button. 

“Hello?” I ask. Harin plunges her fingers into me. I fall onto the bed with my ass up. 

“Y/n, I am glad you answered. Are you free for the next five minutes?” Sooji asks. Harin thrusts harder as if she wants me to fail. I muffle my moans into the bed. 

“Y-yes,” I choke out. Harin bites my shoulders and I let out a wince. 

“Are you okay?” Sooji questions. 

“Yes! Yes- Ah! I am okay,” I could feel myself losing control. I don’t know if I could keep my moans down with how Harin is abusing my cunt. 

“Okay… I am wondering if you’re still on the same side as me. Do you want to take down the pyramid game?” Harin halts her movement which allows me to answer. 

“I am not sure,” I breathe out. My mind is foggy. 

“I found out that Harin is the creator of the game,” Sooji reveals. I freeze. I am lying here with Harin’s finger in me. The creator of this fucked up game. The game that broke me down til I am nothing but Harin’s submissive friend.

“I- I see…” I blurt. I can feel Harin breathing against my ear. I wish I could see her face. 

“To remove the game, we must take down Baek Harin,” The clock ticks and I repeat the sentence in my head. Am I willing to take down Harin? The girl who saved me? The girl who would destroy the world for me? The girl who has her fingers resting in my soaking cunt? My wetness runs down my thighs. 

“I can’t do that to Harin,” I finally answer. Harin feels her heart flutter. 

“What? Why? This game caused you to-” Sooji’s voice gets muffled out by Harins.

“Good girl,” She purrs. I moan shamelessly. She starts to gradually increase her speed again. I buckle my hips against her finger. I sigh and pant against the bed sheets. Harin picks up the phone. She places it against her ear and smiles. 

“Hi Sooji. Sorry, Y/n’s busy right now,” She chuckles before ending the call. She tosses the phone to the side, her eyes not leaving my body. She loves how my body chases after her digits. She loves hearing how I moan her name. She has broken me, but I have never felt more alive because of her. 

[justwinginglife]

Can I please request the kafgang investigating a crankier than usual platoon leader reader? They assume its just a woman getting irritated because she looks like she's gaining weight but it's just her pregnancy belly showing with hoshina's baby...

Pregnancy hormones amirite? (I've never been pregnant before)

LOL I've also never been pregnant before but I love this prompt and I will do my best with it!

Soshiro loved that you were pregnant with his child. And not just because he'd done some delicious love making to get you pregnant, and not just because the idea of having tons of adorable little children running around was so precious to him, no- he loved that you were pregnant because he enjoyed all the ridiculous demands that you made.

Oh, today you wanted peanut butter on pickles? Sure, he could slather them up for you.

Oh, now you were crying because the sky was too blue today and it hurt your eyes? Alright, he could try a little rain dance to bring the clouds rolling in.

Oh, you didn't like the ending of a movie that was made decades ago and wanted him to fix it? Slightly more difficult, but he made bank as Vice Captain, he was sure he could hire a film crew and some actors and have that ready for you in a jiffy.

And then when the other officers started to pick up on your pregnancy-induced attitude, but didn't pick up on the pregnancy-induced part, he enjoyed it all the more. They figured you were just cranky because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or it was your time of the month, but when your belly started to show more proof of Soshiro's love, they attributed your irritation to gaining weight rather than gaining a child.

And you had no idea, because no one would dare tell a Platoon Leader they were getting fat. So instead you had to deal with random outbursts of "It's okay, Platoon Leader L/N, you're still beautiful as ever," or "I know this great workout if you're interested," or "Honestly, metabolism is overrated anyway."

It wasn't even the words that they said that bothered you as much as just the act of them talking at all, their voices sounded like nails on a chalkboard to you, it was like the pregnancy version of a hangover- you just wanted everyone to be quiet.

Soshiro caught on and he steered everyone away from you until you could tolerate noise again, but not before he'd had a good laugh. Of course, if anyone dared to mention aloud that you were gaining weight or you looked different, like you were letting yourself go, he'd shut it down in an instant- towering over them with a booming voice and a threatening glare. But it cracked him up to see how cute your little nose was when you scrunched it up, confused at their attempts to make conversation with you. And it cracked him up that you were so obviously pregnant in his eyes and yet no one else had drawn that conclusion yet. He wondered just how bulging your belly had to be for it to register.

He thought he might make a game out of it, creating a points system in his head for each officer and awarding them whenever one of them got even remotely close to guessing correctly.

Shinomiya noticed that your requests had been seemingly bizarre lately and as you were a woman that she respected very much for your skill and your intellect, she knew there had to be a better reason for the fog in your brain. Point for her.

Nakanoshima noticed you'd thrown up in a nearby vase and while the men attributed it to food poisoning, she'd pondered a little bit harder about when the last time you asked to borrow a tampon from her was. Point for her.

Minase noticed (shyly) that your boobs were looking a little more rounded and plump than they usually did, and made a comment that maybe pregnancy would aid her flat chest as well. Double points for her.

Really at this point, it seemed the women were catching on faster than the men. Soshiro was suddenly embarrassed of his own gender when he had this realization.

He thought he might just break one day, screaming "I FUCKED A BABY INTO HER BELLY YA IDIOTS!!!"

But he didn't have to do that. Because one day, you'd strolled in while everyone was training and snorted loudly, saying "Wow, I could beat the entire sorry lot of you all at once even pregnant. Laps around the perimeter people!"

Everyone's eyes widened and their jaws dropped (the women a little less so than the men).

They'd barely had time to process this new information when you'd repeated in a louder tone, "Did I stutter? LAPS AROUND THE PERIMETER!"

And then they ran off, terrified at the thought of just how much torture one pregnant lady could dole out.

And Soshiro smirked again, amused as ever.

"Ahh, that's my baby. Almost makes me want to fill you up again."

[qwertyprophecy]

Mortholme Post-Mortem

The Dark Queen of Mortholme has been out for two weeks, and I've just been given an excellent excuse to write some more about its creation by a lenghty anonymous ask.

Under the cut, hindsight on the year spent making Mortholme and answers to questions about game dev, grouped under the following topics:

Time spent on development Programming Obstacles Godot Animation Pixel art Environment assets Writing Completion Release

Regarding time spent on development

Nope, I’ve got no idea anymore how long I spent on Mortholme. It took a year but during that time I worked on like two other games and whatever else. And although I started with the art, I worked on all parts simultaneously to avoid getting bored. This is what I can say:

Art took a ridiculous amount of time, but that was by choice (or compulsion, one might say). I get very excitable and particular about it. At most I was making about one or two Hero animations in a day (for a total of 8 + upgraded versions), but anything involving the Queen took multiple times longer. When I made the excecutive decision that her final form was going to have a bazillion tentacles I gave up on scheduling altogether.

Coding went quickly at the start when I was knocking out a feature after another, until it became the ultimate slow-burn hurdle at the end. Testing, bugfixing, and playing Jenga with increasingly unwieldy code kept oozing from one week to the next. For months, probably? My memory’s shot but I have a mark on my calendar on the 18th of August that says “Mortholme done”. Must’ve been some optimistic deadline before the ooze.

Writing happened in extremely productive week-long bursts followed by nothing but nitpicky editing while I focused on other stuff. Winner in the “changed most often” category, for sure.

Sound was straightforward, after finishing a new set of animations I spent a day or two to record and edit SFX for them. Music I originally scheduled two weeks for, but hubris and desire for more variants bumped it to like a month.

Regarding programming

The Hero AI is certainly the part that I spent most of my coding time on. The basic way the guaranteed dodging works is that all the Queen’s attacks send a signal to the Hero, who calculates a “danger zone” based on the type of attack and the Queen’s location. Then, if the Hero is able to dodge that particular attack (a probability based on how much it's been used & story progression), they run a function to dodge it.

Each attack has its own algorithm that produces the best safe target position to go to based on the Hero’s current position (and other necessary actions like jumping). Those algorithms needed a whole lot of testing to code counters for all the scenarios that might trip the Hero up.

The easiest or at least most fun parts for me to code are the extra bells and whistles that aren’t critical but add flair. Like in the Hero’s case, the little touches that make them seem more human: a reaction speed delay that increases over time, random motions and overcompensation that decrease as they gain focus, late-game Hero taking prioritising aggressive positiniong, a “wait for last second” function that lets the Hero calculate how long it’ll take them to move to safety and use the information to squeeze an extra attack in…

The hardest attack was the magic circle, as it introduced a problem in my code so far. The second flare can overlap with other attacks, meaning the Hero had to keep track of two danger zones at once. For a brief time I wanted to create a whole new system that would constantly update a map of all current danger zones—that would allow for any number of overlapping attacks, which would be really cool! Unfortunately it didn’t gel with my existing code, and I couldn’t figure out its multitudes of problems since, well…

Regarding obstacles

Thing is, I’m hot garbage as a programmer. My game dev’s all self-taught nonsense. So after a week of failing to get this cool system to work, I scrapped it and instead made a spaghetti code monstrosity that made magic circle run on a separate danger zone, and decided I’d make no more overlapping attacks. That’s easy; I just had to buffer the timing of the animation locks so that the Hero would always have time to move away. (I still wanted to keep the magic circle, since it’s fun for the player to try and trick the Hero with it.)

There’s my least pretty yet practical solo dev advice: if you get stuck because you can’t do something, you can certainly try to learn how to do it, but occasionally the only way to finish a project within a decade to work around those parts and let them be a bit crap.

I’m happy to use design trickery, writing and art to cover for my coding skills. Like, despite the anonymous asker’s description, the Hero’s dodging is actually far from perfect. I knew there was no way it was ever going to be, which is why I wrote special dialogue to account for a player finding an exploit that breaks the intended gameplay. (And indeed, when the game was launched, someone immediately found it!)

Regarding Godot

It’s lovely! I switched from Unity years ago and it’s so much simpler and more considerate of 2D games. The way its node system emphasises modularity has improved my coding a lot.

New users should be aware that a lot of tutorials and advice you find online may be for Godot 3. If something doesn’t work, search for what the Godot 4 equivalent is.

Regarding animation

I’m a professional animator, so my list of tips and techniques is a tad long… I’ll just give a few resource recommendations: read up on the classic 12 principles of animation (or the The Illusion of Life, if you’d like the whole book) and test each out for yourself. Not every animation needs all of these principles, but basically every time you’ll be looking at an animation and wondering how to make it better, the answer will be in paying attention to one or more of them.

Game animation is its own beast, and different genres have their own needs. I’d recommend studying animations that do what you’d like to do, frame by frame. If you’re unsure of how exactly to analyse animation for its techniques, youtube channel New Frame Plus shows an excellent example.

Oh, and film yourself some references! The Queen demanded so much pretend mace swinging that it broke my hoover.

Regarding pixel art

The pixel art style was picked for two reasons: 1. to evoke a retro game feel to emphasise the meta nature of the narrative, and 2. because it’s faster and more forgiving to animate in than any of my other options.

At the very start I was into the idea of doing a painterly style—Hollow Knight was my first soulslike—but quickly realised that I’d either have to spend hundreds of hours animating the characters, or design them in a simplistic way that I deemed too cutesy for this particular game. (Hollow Knight style, one day I’d love to emulate you…)

I don’t use a dedicated program, just Photoshop for everything like a chump. Pixel art doesn’t need anything fancy, although I’m sure specialist programs will keep it nice and simple.

Pixel art’s funny; its limitations make it dependent on symbolism, shortcuts and viewer interpretation. You could search for some tutorials on basic principles (like avoiding “jaggies” or the importance of contrast), but ultimately you’ll simply want to get a start in it to find your own confidence in it. I began dabbling years ago by asking for character requests on Tumblr and doodling them in pixels in whatever way I could think of.

Regarding environment assets

The Queen’s throne room consists of two main sprites—one background and one separate bit of the door for the Hero disappear behind—and then about fifty more for the lighting setup. There’s six different candle animations, there’s lines on the floor that need to go on top of character reflections, all the candle circles and lit objects are separated so that the candles can be extinguished asynchronously; and then there’s purple phase 2 versions of all of the above.

This is all rather dumb. There’s simpler ways in Godot to do 2D lighting with shaders and a built-in system (I use those too), but I wanted control over the exact colours so I just drew everything in Photoshop the way I wanted it. Still, it highlights how mostly you only need a single background asset and separated foreground objects; except if you need animated objects or stuff that needs to change while the game’s running, you’ll get a whole bunch more.

I wholeheartedly applaud having a go at making your own game art, even if you don’t have any art background! The potential for cohesion in all aspects of design—art, game, narrative, sound—is at the heart of why video games are such an exciting medium!

Regarding writing

Finding the voices of the Queen and the Hero was the quick part of the process. They figured that out they are almost as soon as writing started. I’d been mulling this game over in my mind for so long, I had already a specific idea in mind of what the two of them stood for, conceptually and thematically. When they started bantering, I felt like all I really had to do was to guide it along the storyline, and then polish.

What ended up taking so long was that there was too much for them to say for how short the game needed to be to not feel overstretched. Since I’d decided to go with two dialogue options on my linear story, it at least gave me twice the amount of dialogue that I got to write, but it wasn’t enough!

The first large-scale rewrite was me going over the first draft and squeezing in more interesting things for the Queen and the Hero to discuss, more branching paths and booleans. There was this whole thing where the player’s their dialogue choices over multiple conversations would lead them to about four alternate interpretations of why the Queen is the way she is. This was around the time I happened to finally play Disco Elysium, so of course I also decided to also add a ton of microreactivity (ie. small changes in dialogue that acknowledge earlier player choices) to cram in even more alternate dialogue. I spent ages tinkering with the exact nuances till I was real proud of it.

Right until the playtesters of this convoluted contraption found the story to be unclear and confusing. For some reason. So for my final rewrite, I picked out my favourite bits and cut everything else. With the extra branching gone, there was more room to improve the pacing so the core of the story could breathe. The microreactivity got to stay, at least!

A sample of old dialogue from the overcomplicated version:

Regarding completion

The question was “what kept me going to actually finish the game, since that is a point many games never even get to meet?” and it’s a great one because I forgot that’s a thing. Difficulties finishing projects, that is—I used to think it was hard, but not for many years. Maybe I’ve completed so many small-scale games already that it hardly seems that unreasonable of an expectation? (Game jams. You should do game jams.)

I honestly never had any doubt I was going to finish Mortholme. When I started in late autumn last year, I was honestly expecting the concept to be too clunky to properly function; but I wished to indulge in silliness and make it exist anyways. That vision would’ve been easy to finish, a month or two of low stakes messing around, no biggie. (Like a game jam!)

Those months ran out quickly as I had too much fun making the art to stop. It must’ve been around the time I made this recording that it occurred to me that even if the game was going to be clunky, it could still genuinely work on the back of good enough storytelling technique—not just writing, but also the animation and the Hero’s evolving behaviour during the gameplay segments which I’d been worried about. The reaction to my early blogging was also heartening. Other people could also imagine how this narrative could be interesting!

A few weeks after that I started planning out the narrative beats I wanted the dialogue to reach, and came to the conclusion that I really, really wanted it to work. Other people had to see this shit, I thought. There’s got to be freaks out there who’d love to experience this tragedy, and I’m eager to deliver.

That’s why I was fine with the project’s timeline stretching out. If attention to detail and artistry was going to make this weird little story actually come to life, then great, because that’s exactly the part of development I love doing most. Projects taking longer than expected can be frustrating, but accepting that as a common part of game dev is what allows confidence in eventual their completion regardless.

Regarding release

Dear anonymous’s questions didn’t involve post-release concerns, but it seems fitting to wrap up the post-mortem by talking about the two things about Mortholme's launch that were firsts for me, and thus I was unprepared for.

1. This was the first action game I've coded. Well, sort of—I consider Mortholme to be a story first and foremost, with gameplay so purposefully obnoxious it benefits from not being thought of as a “normal” game. Still, the action elements are there. For someone who usually sticks to making puzzle games since they’re easier to code, this was my most mechanically fragile game yet. So despite all my attempts at playtesting and failsafes, it had a whole bunch of bugs on release.

Game-breaking bugs, really obvious bugs, weird and confusing bugs. It took me over a week to fix all that was reported (and I’m only hoping they indeed are fully fixed). That feels slow; I should’ve expected it was going to break so I could’ve been faster to respond. Ah well, next time I know what I’ll be booking my post-release week for.

2. This was my first game that I let players give me money for. Sure, it’s pay-what-you-want, but for someone as allergic to business decisions as I am, it was a big step. I guess I was worried of being shown that nobody would consider my art worth financial compensation. Well, uh, that fear has gone out of the window now. I’m blown away by how kind and generous the players of Mortholme have been with their donations.

I can’t imagine it's likely to earn a living wage from pouring hundreds of hours into pay-what-you-want passion projects, but the support has me heartened to seek out a future where I could make these weird stories and a living both.

Those were the unexpected parts. The part I must admit I was expecting—but still infinitely grateful for—was that Mortholme did in fact reach them freaks who’d find it interesting. The responses, comments, analyses, fan works (there’s fic and art!! the dream!!), inspiration, and questions (like the ones prompting me to write this post-mortem) people have shared with me thanks to Mortholme… They’ve all truly been what I was hoping for back when I first gave myself emotions thinking about a mean megalomaniac and stubborn dipshit.

Thank you for reading, thank you for playing, and thank you for being around.

[voidzphere]

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killersanz (sideblog) @dailykillerr (daily killer sans that i have not posted on yet erm) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

hii !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i love u too brutiee @mewobrute <33 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNER <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

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#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

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#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

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#killz sans - my sonaaa ^_^

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

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i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 12/5/24

[thewertsearch]

@relaxxattack asked: hi, maxx the troll romance guy again. ₊ ⊹ ☆ it’s finally my moment for me to bust out my big quadrant talk! as in, i had the time to sit down and write this. (and apologies in advance for subjecting you to this much nerdiness. hopefully, it’s at least somewhat illuminating, to make up for that). i’m not sure what your current opinions on troll romance are, but i wanted to discuss the idea that kismesissitude is inherently unhealthy / impossible to achieve by teenaged trolls. lots of people who read homestuck get very stuck on the idea that kismesissitude is a feeling of hatred. they run with their human assumptions of this word, imagining that a kismesissitude is an angry, horrible relationship of abuse and hurt. but, if you’ll bear with me, it’s actually shown throughout the comic that this is completely untrue. trolls do not use the word hate the same way that we do. in fact, this is pretty obvious, because they also continuously use the word “pity” in a completely different way than we do. each of these are actually more related to a completely different word: LOVE.

you can see, in this initial conversation surrounding quadrants, that trolls consider hate and pity to actually come from the same exact place (though they consider that a negative thing). you can also see in that conversation that you need a good mix of both for any of the quadrants to work. karkat calls vriska out on supposedly “hating people too much” in a way that would “make her a bad kismesis”. this tells us almost immediately off the bat that A. even other trolls consider vriska and tavros’s relationship unbalanced and unhealthy! and B. each quadrant needs a proper mix of emotions for a proper relationship. a lot of people assume that kismeses are “supposed” to kill each other, mainly because of the fate of jack noir and the queen. this, too, is a misunderstanding. jack noir and the queen, like mom and dad who they are explicitly paralleling, are meant to be regarded as tragic. both couples end in tragedy, as expected for almost every “parental figure” in homestuck; this is unrelated to their kismesissitude.

in fact, in this conversation eridan has with kanaya, it is stated that a kismesissitude that ends in deaths is an extremely rare, powerfully tragic romance that happens “once in ten thousand years”– and immediately after, it is stated that a kismesissitude that might become like this needs an auspistice. that’s right, trolls are so committed to healthy kismesissitudes that they have an entire system in place to stop them from becoming toxic. the vriska/kanaya/tavros auspisticism, while a failure on every conceivable level, was born out of the necessity that the other trolls considered vriska’s torment of tavros unhealthy. even among her fellow trolls, in a society that explicitly encouraged casteiesm and ableism, vriska’s treatment of tavros was still considered too toxic for a proper kismesissitude.

vriska and eridan, who were in a kismesissitude before vriska became bored of eridan, were allies in their roleplaying games. much like the ancestors they were emulating, (who even supposedly “cherished” their own black relationship!); they explicitly traded and shared their rewards and goods with each other because of their romantic relationship with each other, and were said to work together in flarp well enough to be feared by others. of course, they also competed with each other to be the best– because they are rivals– but rivalry does not constitute toxticity. they called each other “allies” and “competitors”. not enemies. though perhaps being enemies would be an interesting kismesis slowburn; in the end, two kismesis should not kill each other. they are on the same team. how could they not be, when trolls believe in one troll who is literally destined to be their perfect rival, a life partner who they must have a long-term relationship with in order to properly meet the alternian drone rules? killing each other makes no feasible sense.

as vriska and eridan talk about here, a rivalry between trolls is something fun for both of them. that is why they must hate each other “equally”-- they need to feel on equal footing, so that they can both have fun. that’s what a rivalry is for trolls. it’s fun! (fun fact: another definition of the word "rival" is "an equal"). (eridan’s pitch solicitation towards sollux is absolutely laughable in comparison. he throws meaningless, casteist insults, and sollux does not give a single fuck about him. as other trolls mention; this is very obviously fake. they are clearly not feeling anything mutual or respectful for each other. he merely is trying to goad feferi into an ashen retaliation with his shitty pitch advances, and it’s not even working.) and that brings me finally to john and karkat. i remember seeing confusion on this blog about the nature of karkat’s feelings– 'why is he helping john? doesn’t he ‘hate’ him? he must not REALLY feel pitch romance for him, and he’s just confused.' well you see, that’s the thing. the reason karkat’s first message to john was a love poem is because that is what kismesissitude is. it was karkat’s way of saying; “you’re special to me. i would like to bug you to see if you feel the same way.” it’s not as if strangely romantic healthy rivalries between teenagers are even an unheard of or new concept. they’re fairly common in television shows and anime; hell there’s even multiple tvtropes pages for them! it’s not impossible that two people in a story could have a healthy rivalry fun enough that they both end up missing it should it be gone. (looking at you, perry and doof.) it’s even more likely that teenagers, as vibrant and strange as their many emotions can be, could pull this off. of course, they make lots of mistakes. they’re young teenagers raised on the murder ableism planet. of course most of the shit they try to do is unhealthy. they make just as many earth-like mistakes with their hearts as they do with their spades. that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for them, or bad for them to try. especially since pairs like vriska and eridan seem to have even pulled it off! basically, what i’m saying is, they’re like sasuke and naruto (reference). let teenagers have hatecrushes! it’s cuter than you think! :P [if it isn’t obvious, this is all super lighthearted and silly. unfortunately it’s my brand to be the guy who’s REALLY passionate about troll romance. i sincerely hope this wasn’t too hard to read, and i’m really sorry about submitting such a long thing, but i couldn’t manage to cut it down any further 😭 have a great rest of your night/day!]

(Images added by me - partially for illustrative purposes, and partially because Tumblr tends to complain when a single block-quote is that large.)

Love love love this detailed breakdown. It outlines a blackrom framework which is a lot more nuanced than the infodump's original description of kismesissitude. There's a lot of really interesting stuff here, and I've actually been working on this response for the past week, while AFKing on my Minecraft server.

As you can imagine, I agree with many of the points raised here, and disagree with others. I think the best approach is to go through the essay point-by-point, and break down my thoughts.

lots of people who read homestuck get very stuck on the idea that kismesissitude is a feeling of hatred[...], imagining that a kismesissitude is an angry, horrible relationship of abuse and hurt. [...] it’s actually shown throughout the comic that this is completely untrue. trolls do not use the word hate the same way that we do. [...]

This one I just fully agree with. The Alternian concept of 'hate' isn't equivalent to ours, and they'll often use it in ways that are completely incompatible with our definition.

When Karkat 'fell in hate' with John, his actual antagonism was very obviously performative. As you mentioned above, several parts of his original rant wouldn't look out of place in a love confession.

Karkat doesn't just message John out of temporal obligation. There's a clear sense, even in their early conversations, that he's enjoying their interactions on some level. If his feelings here really are black romance - and there's no textual evidence that they're not - then this alone is enough to prove kismesissitude isn't true human hatred.

The trolls also use 'hate' in the human sense, too, which muddies the waters a little. It's even highlighted as a problem in-comic, with trolls having to disambiguate their hatred in conversation in much the same way humans disambiguate between platonic and romantic love.

they also continuously use the word “pity” in a completely different way than we do. each of these are actually more related to a completely different word: LOVE. you can see, in this initial conversation surrounding quadrants, that trolls consider hate and pity to actually come from the same exact place (though they consider that a negative thing).

As for pity, I'm still not entirely sure what it means to trolls. Unlike hate, it's only been brought up once, by Karkat.

His 'hate and pity' dichotomy isn't referenced anywhere else in the comic, and it's unclear whether he's describing an accepted fact of life, a sociological theory, or a trope from his beloved romcoms. I don't really have enough data to speculate.

you can also see in that conversation that you need a good mix of both for any of the quadrants to work. karkat calls vriska out on supposedly “hating people too much” in a way that would “make her a bad kismesis”. this tells us almost immediately off the bat that [...] each quadrant needs a proper mix of emotions for a proper relationship.

I believe your assertion here is that each quadrant requires both hate and pity. While definitely an interesting theory, I wasn't able to find canonical evidence that a healthy redrom requires hatred, or that a healthy blackrom requires pity.

I meant what I said, though - it is a compelling theory. If we do read troll 'hatred' as a type of friendly rivalry, then maybe it is important in redrom, serving as the 'spark' that keeps things fresh. Furthermore, if we read 'pity' as something bordering on affection, then it probably is necessary for a healthy blackrom.

I really like the space you're playing in, here. There is something to this idea, and I'd love for Karkat to elaborate on it.

[...] even other trolls consider vriska and tavros’s relationship unbalanced and unhealthy!

Text it! If the full Vriska/Tavros mess was public knowledge, basically everyone would consider Vriska's behavior beyond atrocious, blackrom or no blackrom. I'm not even sure if Eridan would be OK with it - and Gamzee, of course, is currently excluded from this discussion.

If the Veil's trolls are a representative sample of Alternian culture, then Vriska's 'blackrom' with Tavros is just as abusive there as it would have been on Earth. Even Alternia has limits.

a lot of people assume that kismeses are “supposed” to kill each other, mainly because of the fate of jack noir and the queen. this, too, is a misunderstanding. jack noir and the queen, like mom and dad who they are explicitly paralleling, are meant to be regarded as tragic. both couples end in tragedy, as expected for almost every “parental figure” in homestuck; this is unrelated to their kismesissitude. in fact, in this conversation eridan has with kanaya, it is stated that a kismesissitude that ends in deaths is an extremely rare, powerfully tragic romance that happens “once in ten thousand years”

This tracks, as well. If blackrom was allowed to end with murder, then there'd be a lot less soldiers being ferried off the planet every year. Alternian children are a resource to the Empire, and more murder-couples means less murder-platoons.

Vriska does think it would be acceptable for her to murder Tavros, but she frames it as a consequence of classism, not blackrom. This would be much more acceptable to the Empire, as a blueblood like Vriska is destined to be a high-ranking officer. She's not killing a partner, here - she's punishing insubordination.

– and immediately after, it is stated that a kismesissitude that might become like this needs an auspistice. that’s right, trolls are so committed to healthy kismesissitudes that they have an entire system in place to stop them from becoming toxic. the vriska/kanaya/tavros auspisticism, while a failure on every conceivable level, was born out of the necessity that the other trolls considered vriska’s torment of tavros unhealthy. even among her fellow trolls, in a society that explicitly encouraged casteiesm and ableism, vriska’s treatment of tavros was still considered too toxic for a proper kismesissitude.

I won't second-guess the utility of auspisticism in situations like this. It makes perfect sense that the role exists, and it certainly does an important job.

However, once again, I really don't understand the monogamy aspect. Helping a loved one escape a toxic or abusive relationship should not be a one-person job, and enforcing that requirement serves to sabotage what could have been a much more effective social role.

Like - imagine that, upon becoming VrisTav's auspistice, Kanaya's first action was to call for backup. If she was allowed to introduce additional auspistices to the situation, such as Aradia or Terezi, then Vriska wouldn't have been able to continue tormenting Tavros as soon as Kanaya turned her back. It takes a village, guys!

vriska and eridan, who were in a kismesissitude before vriska became bored of eridan, were allies in their roleplaying games. much like the ancestors they were emulating, (who even supposedly “cherished” their own black relationship!); they explicitly traded and shared their rewards and goods with each other because of their romantic relationship with each other, and were said to work together in flarp well enough to be feared by others. of course, they also competed with each other to be the best– because they are rivals– but rivalry does not constitute toxticity. they called each other “allies” and “competitors”. not enemies. [...] as vriska and eridan talk about here, a rivalry between trolls is something fun for both of them. that is why they must hate each other “equally”-- they need to feel on equal footing, so that they can both have fun. that’s what a rivalry is for trolls. it’s fun!

Eridan/Vriska is a relationship I wish we'd seen on-panel, because this one is really hard to picture. Eridan's personality doesn't feel at all compatible with Vriska's, and I don't understand what she saw in him.

Vriska is one of the smartest, most resourceful, most dangerous trolls around, and there was apparently a time she thought of Eridan as a rival. As an equal. All he really has to offer is an overpowered weapon, and Vriska's already got one of those.

Sure, she got bored later, but unless Eridan has some extremely hidden depths, she should have been bored from day one. How did their rivalry even work?

I think the problem here is that we haven't seen any non-toxic kismesissitudes. Vriska/Tavros is a nightmare, Equius/Aradia was mind control, Eridan/Vriska happened offscreen, and John/Karkat never happened at all. It's difficult to extrapolate what a non-awful kismesissitude might look like, when we've only seen the worst the quadrant has to offer. Actually seeing Vriska's spades with Eridan, instead of having it described second-hand, might help to clear this up, but that seems fairly unlikely at this point.

This, at least, is a problem that might solve itself. We've still got a lot of comic to go, and the passion its fandom has for the quadrants makes it clear that they're not going anywhere. I don't think I'll be able to pass my final judgement on kismesissitude until we've seen one that actually works. I really like the idea of a romance centered around friendly rivalry - I just wish the comic would show me one!

and that brings me finally to john and karkat. i remember seeing confusion on this blog about the nature of karkat’s feelings– 'why is he helping john? doesn’t he ‘hate’ him? he must not REALLY feel pitch romance for him, and he’s just confused.' well you see, that’s the thing. the reason karkat’s first message to john was a love poem is because that is what kismesissitude is. it was karkat’s way of saying; “you’re special to me. i would like to bug you to see if you feel the same way.” it’s not as if strangely romantic healthy rivalries between teenagers are even an unheard of or new concept. they’re fairly common in television shows and anime; hell there’s even multiple tvtropes pages for them! it’s not impossible that two people in a story could have a healthy rivalry fun enough that they both end up missing it should it be gone. (looking at you, perry and doof.)

Like, this sounds cool! You're describing a really fun version of kismesissitude, here - one which brings to mind Wright and Edgeworth, Sonic and Shadow, and a dozen other popular couples.

This interpretation would be less dangerous for teenagers - it certainly worked for Lumity - and again, I just hope we eventually see something like this on-panel!

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

I'm absolutely terrified, it's not even funny. I can't even click it. But I have to... for the LOREEEEEEEEE... okay, let's-a go....

(The following is my live reaction:)

ay the TADC plug, of course

"Born to shit, Forced to wipe" - not smg3

wise words Three

also, the Ferris Wheel and rollercoaster thing is still there in the background (Ferris Wheel wedding, my beloved...)

I knew someone was going to bring up Meggy and her disappearance

LEGGY! MEGGY, WE'LL RESCUE YOU I PROMISE!!!

THANK YOU THREE for asking the right questions here

oh... not what I expected. at least the crew knows this is obviously Mr Puzzles

NAME DROP

OK, a LOT to digest here:

These are all the possible minigames that we might see in WOTFI. Well, at least all the attractions we could see...

a Mr Puzzles Chonk plush (in the bottom right)

a Tunnel of Love attraction... hmmmm.......

Huh, I didn't know this was by the coast of the Mushroom Kingdom. Or it could be an island/peninsula.

The what now, Leggy?

YEP I knew that once they found out, they would want to leave

...and of course, Mario wants to stay

Yeah, Luigi said it himself

but also, look at the Mr Puzzles cardboard cutout in the back, he's wearing Meggy's cowboy hat from Western Spaghetti

Alright, but before we go in, we gotta have a buddy system, guys

All these critiques are going to make Mr Puzzles lose himself even more than he already is

I think I saw someone posted about submitting a water gun game so congrats for getting in!

Leggy Plush!!

also spider-man plush... symbiote... venom... GOOP!4????

...Once Upon A Perfect SMG4?

[*points at Four and Mario*] The sillies

ok, but like, why is Three smiling like that while everyone else looks so disappointed?

They did the buddy system!

Bob: "Those dumbasses will see ANYTHING and get excited."

I feel seen and I don't like it.

I don't like this either. I already know this is a trap but like noooooo

Three just standing there like a dad watching over his kid

Someone else also submitted a mini-game involving a ducky fishing game

GOD DAYUM.... why did you have to pose like that, Three? You're not beating the allegations, huh.

Aw, Three really wanted to enjoy a carnival if Mr Puzzles wasn't involved (writers, write that down + carnival dates)

OK NOPE WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW

🫵 🏳️‍🌈⁉️

oh c'mon now, it's just plainly obvious. Not that it should be surprising, everyone's part of the skittle squad (tm)

STRONG WOMEN we love to see it

...that can't be a real thing... can it?

same Luigi same

YES PLEASE CAN WE?

sorry dude, they really locked in

also what the hell is that building in the back?

Luigi (or rather the SMG4 fandom): "See? I can handle this! I'm not afraid anymore! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid-" [*horror jumpscare*] [*scream*]

NOT EVEN MELONY'S GOD POWERS COULD HELP US, WE'RE FUCKED

NOOOOOO NOT KAREN AND SAIKO

THREE WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW

NOOOOOOOO THREEEEE I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO BE THE LAST ONE TO MAKE IT OUT

[*sobbing*] he sent one last text to warn them :( he really does care

AND HE SENT IT TO FOUR [*head in hands*]

the contact names they have for each other.... (I'm not well)

WE GOTTA GO [*runs*] GET OUT GET OUT

Leggy... why did your face change like that?

WHAT WAS THAT CRYPTIC CAPTION?!

Mario, please don't sacrifice yourself... oh, thank god! They really are having me panicking for the smallest things

wait... OMG THEY SAW MY SUBMISSION! THEY SAW IT!

the mini-game challenge that I submitted:

Pop & Whirl: Everyone gets a bag of popcorn. The winner must keep all of their popped kernels in their bag, without dropping a single one... while being chased around the carnival by a collapsed Ferris Wheel (Professor Layton style)!

I DON'T CARE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN IN WOTFI, I'LL TAKE IT. But if it does happen, I'll draw lawyer Meggy with a redesigned Ace Attorney-esque outfit (somehow)

please don't tell me the green pipe is also a trap...

...the exit door from TADC?

oh god, why does this remind me of the dark web?

and the eyes on the mushrooms... [*IGBP flashbacks*]

heh heh, funny mirrors... AH SHIT PUZZLES, DON'T JUMPSCARE ME LIKE THAT

actually, now that I think of it, Mr Puzzles hasn't revealed himself this whole time...

THE DIDNEY ENGINE ROOM?!

...holy shit

so was I right about us getting to see Mr Puzzles' "truest form" and the whole "Eye of Ra" thing?

are those his arms? and the circle things, it could be part of his cyborg texture but they also look like eyes.

the fog part is really interesting because they could've gone with any "spooky" color but they chose this. It's the creative vision, the one Didney had in this room.

This really reminds me of the goo from IGBP and Wren's wire simulation in Western Spaghetti, but also from this angle, a bit of Zero's "no legs" body design.

"His obsession becoming his identity" - Puzzles connected himself to the single star Didney had. You got it right, past Ink.

HUH?! YOU CAN'T END IT THERE

AND THEY GRAY-ED OUT OUTRO, NO MUSIC! IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN, GUYS

also congrats to Nikej1708241 for making it to the credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

That was a pretty solid episode ngl. Probably not as "plot twist-y"

(i know that's not a word) as the previous episode but my spaghetti gods, it delivered! Not Marty again, we may have to rethink this one.

Ok, I've made a list of all the attractions and mini-games there are in the carnival grounds in Puzzle Park:

Ferris Wheel

"Tender Tunnel" (Tunnel of Love attraction)

Merry-Go-Round carousel

Basketball arcade game

Hammer game

Bumper Cars

"House of Crazy" funhouse (also that fits Mr Puzzles somehow)

A spooky cart ride

Water gun game

Rocket ride

Arcade (just flat-out an arcade)

Clown Ball Game

(There's apparently a cafe???)

Ducky Pond fishing game

Pizza shop (....marty?)

It's probably not all of them, we would just have to wait and see, but if you submitted a mini-game that involves any of these, congrats, you likely got in!!!

I still very much enjoyed this episode and some of what I theorized could possibly come true. And some didn't, which is totally okay with me. I'll cherish the Ferris Wheel chase scene regardless :)

We still have to wait for a trailer or a special video in regards to WOTFI, which I will have to analyze and see what's to be expected. From the looks of it in this episode, it seems like it's up to SMG4 and Mario to rescue their friends one by one by completing the mini-games. The more people they rescue, the more help they can get to complete the games. And that includes saving Meggy at the end.

Now, personally, I don't want Mr Puzzles to die. Not yet. There is still a lot of potential that could go for him. A similar redemption arc just as Three went through. Puzzlevision 2. Goop!4. Marty. Anything could happen. Then again, he could die.

Now you might think he might not die because he has a plushie, but there's literally merch of Axol and Desti and they're dead. Puzzles isn't safe from this possibility.

Put in your final bets, my dear fellows, because nothing will ever be the same again...