#Mickey standing up for what he wants and Ian meeting him where he’s at - season 10

[mickeym4ndy]

I find this scene so interesting because it seems like Ian can tell how uncomfortable and unhappy Mickey is with the move. But Ian desperately wants it to work out so he just tries to avoid dealing with it and to distract himself (and Mickey) from it by bringing up the good things about the apartment - the pool, how good he slept etc.

Even at the end when he says “glad we rented this place” to Mickey it’s like he’s trying to convince himself he did the right thing as much as Mickey

[mr-gallavich]

Gallavich x Reader Heacanons

What I think it would be like to date Mickey Milkovich and Ian Gallagher. The headcanons are vaguely in chronological order from season one to season eleven and beyond.

Male Reader!

~~

In the early days of your relationship with Mickey and Ian, Debbie loves you and constantly tries to get you to play with her every time you go over to the Gallaghers.

Mandy is the same way when you go to the Milkovich's, but she tries to act much more chill about it and, instead of asking you to play dolls like Debbie does, she asks you to play Borderlands 2 and makes you pizza rolls without you asking.

When Terry is home the three of you either leave the house entirely, to go hang out at that abandoned building where you, Mickey, and Ian built the ROTC course, or you say you guys are smoking together and lock the door behind you. Sometimes you guys actually do smoke. Other times you don't...

You get invited to all the Gallagher family functions, like Thanksgiving and Christmas and birthdays.

Showing up at the Kash and Grab conveniently when they are scheduled to take their breaks so the three of you can 'hang out' in the cooler or back room.

Spending your weekends binge-watching movie series like Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings or Hunger Games (and obligatorily pretending like you don't see Mickey tear up when Rue dies, and then again when they salute her death in the 11th District). When you guys get to Divergent Mickey relates a little too much to Four.

In the beginning the birthday and Christmas presents are things like a bag of weed or a six-pack or your favorite candy bar, but the further your relationship goes along the more thought out the presents get.

The both of them steal your clothes at every chance, they have no boundaries. From your socks to your boxers/briefs to your hat.

After Mickey complains he's cold when you take back your winter hat, so Ian buys them matching hats with pom-poms. Mickey throws a fit, calling the pom-poms gay but when Ian offers to return them Mickey threatens to cut his hands off.

Ian uses his height to purposefully tower over you every chance he gets. Reaching above you to get things out of the cupboard while you stand between him and the cupboard. Hugging you from behind while you do the dishes. Holding his hand up too high for you to reach when you go to high five. Holding everything out of reach, actually. So many drinks have been spilled this way, so many innocent snacks lost to the mercy of the dirty floor.

You convince Mickey not to try and kill Sammy, though he's not happy about it at all, and Mickey never goes to prison. When you, Ian, and Mickey come back from the baseball field and Ian breaks up with you and Mickey, you and Mickey are left standing on the sidewalk.

The two of you go to your house and Mickey cries a little though he will always deny it, and then the two of you decide you aren't giving up that quickly.

Even if Ian doesn't want it, the two of you will be there for him. The two of you show up at the Gallagher house every day, keeping friends with his family and treating him just the same as you would before he broke up with you. You ask him about his medication and offer him weed when he begrudgingly tells you it sucks ass.

The three of you smoke together, huddled on the back porch close enough you're all touching and Ian tries to pretend like he doesn't miss you guys. He doesn't last long, and slowly but surely you're let back into his life until it's like nothing ever changed. After his meds settle he apologizes for pushing you both away, but you and mickey will hear nothing of it.

Ian never meets Caleb or Trevor and he never becomes Gay Jesus or goes to jail. He tries going to community college, but doesn't really feel it's for him. While walking through the main building he sees a flier on a bulletin board for an EMT program. He snags it and then goes right to the registrar's office to drop out.

Because polygamy is illegal, you guys can't technically get married, but after what was basically your 10 year anniversary the three of you decide to have a wedding anyways. Fiona 'officiates' it, and Kev and Mandy are Mickey's best 'men', and Lip and Carl are Ian's. Franny is the flower girl and Liam is the ring bearer.

Frank still cries, and after the kisses Fiona can't stop herself from crying too.

Everyone (The Gallaghers, V and Kev and the Twins, Mandy, Iggy, and Sandy) has a great time, with lots of stories of your shenanigans being passed around the wedding.

The three of you all cut the cake together, which is messy and uncoordinated but nobody notices and everyone cheers when the knife hits the cake plate.

At one point Fiona and Frank do a father-daughter dance in honor of keeping the peace on Ian's special day.

Once you guys get your own apartment you have Franny and Liam over at least once a week, because Mickey really is Franny's favorite uncle and your Liam's favorite brother-in-law.

Ian gets these little planter boxes that go on the outside of your windows, and if you or Mickey even think about touching them Ian is threatening to bury you both in an unmarked grave.

Getting take out frequently unless you enjoy cooking every meal, since Mickey and Ian are useless in the kitchen.

Ian and you try many different things to help Mickey get acclimated to life on the West Side, specifically to sleeping in an apartment where there aren't gunshots outside your window every five minutes. Everything from tiring him out (Mickey is in full support of still trying this one) to meditation (Mickey hated that one) to whale noises (Mickey also hated this one) but you guys ended up buying him very expensive noise-cancelling bluetooth headphones.

When asked what the price was you might have fibbed a little, just so Mickey wouldn't freak out.

Once you've all settled into life on the West Side you decide it might be time to hint at therapy, for all three of you. Your time on the South Side took a toll on all three of you, and you could all use it. Mickey takes a lot of convincing, but eventually he agrees to it because the two of you will be doing it as well.

There are a lot of times early on where Mickey storms into the apartment, pissed from a therapy session, swearing up and down that he's never going back but after gentle persuasion and Ian's way with his mouth (because he's diplomatic, and good with his words of course) he always ends up going to his next appointment.

One day Mickey comes home, and this time he's not angry. He's sort of quiet. You and Ian exchange a look, and decide to let him come to you on his own time. About an hour into the movie Ian put on after dinner Mickey says he mentioned something to his therapist. His fear of turning out to be a bad parent, turning out like his father. You and Ian are quiet as he relays the conversation to the two of you, and then finally Mickey ends with "And she suggested parenting classes."

And so the three of you take parenting classes.

And then Ian's on a kick of learning about parenting and starts bringing home books on parenting children of all ages from the library. And if you saw Mickey skimming one of the books when you and Ian weren't looking, well then that was your business.

[dreamylyfe-x]

Your trevor meta is making me realize how weird it is that the writers and cast were so insistent that mickey wasn't coming back, because I don't think theyve ever really known what to do with ian's story without him. They put him in these lukewarm relationships and tell us they're so much better and healthier, but then have ian straight up admit that he still loves mickey and nobody else has made him feel the same way. How do they set that up and then have him go back to trevor? They set up ian moving on with "I'm not that person anymore" and follow up with season 8. It's like okay...who he is now is gay Jesus? Lmao. He's always been the shows forgotten middle child and after they wrote mickey off "for good" they could have taken him in a million directions but they chose one so shitty it basically made cam leave lmao. Sometimes it feels like fan insistence kind of forced mickey back but in actuality, the seasons where he's gone just hammer home that he was always the inevitable end to ian's story. So bizarre how little the showrunners understand their own story sometimes.

Ok. I’m going to be a little more Doylist here than I usually am, because we’re talking about what the writers are thinking. And I’m also going to take this opportunity to share this fascinating article from the AV Club in 2016: When Fan Engagement Goes Wrong. Everyone beware, it contains significant spoilers for The 100. But it’s also largely about Gallavich, the fact that online promotion of Shameless leaned hard into the popularity of the couple, and were up against it when Noel left. I’ll quote: 

“[Supervising Producer Shelia] Callaghan’s choice to be honest and straightforward when engaging with fans is admirable, and yet also on some level futile. She can’t tell them exactly why Fisher chose to leave, she is (logically) unwilling to spoil future storylines outright, and she can only speak her own mind as part of a collaborative process over which she holds only some influence. So while many fans respect her effort to maintain the connection to this now marginalized community, others attack, reinforcing that attempting to manage these situations is a full-time job that no one has been properly trained for.” 

This article links some tweets and the one I find the most interesting is this one:

“But the actor left.  So...what to do? Have them just break up?? Felt way less true to me than a forced separation!” 

That tweet is from Krista Vernoff, who wanted to convey that they tried really hard to come up with what they do with Ian now that he’d lost Mickey. And I’m sure they did try really hard. And.... People hated it. Mostly. 

Here’s what I think, based on what I’ve read and the interviews I’ve seen, on deleted tweets and Tumblr rumours and YouTube clips: The show didn’t want Mickey to leave the canvas. At all. Noel wanted more money. The show could not come up with both that money and the money they needed for everyone else. The show let him go. And hoped they could solve the creative problem their budgetary problem had dumped in their lap. 

I actually think Ian’s story in season six is decent. I miss Mickey, of course. I find the last scene with him really painful -- but it’s not painful because the show is trying to diminish him. They write and then cut together a scene where Mickey is DEMONSTRATIVELY still deeply in love with Ian. He’s carved his name in his chest. He is looking at Ian like he’s the most beautiful creature ever given breath. And Ian can barely meet his gaze. They tell us Mickey is being sent away for 16 years but when we see the last of Mickey Milkovich in season six I think “God, this is so sad. They love each other so much and this is so fucked up.” 

I do NOT think “We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together.” 

The show always knew what it had with Ian and Mickey. They leaned into it promotionally. They gave meaty storylines to the characters, particularly given that Ian was the fourth lead on a family dramedy built around six children. John Wells replaced Aaron Sorkin on The West Wing. He knows how hard it is to follow a phenomenon. 

The more I think about it, honestly? I don’t think they tried. I think they knew that they couldn’t bring in Mickey Milkovich, the sequel in season six, so they brought in Caleb. And maybe they meant for him to be a LITTLE more viable than he was... but I think there’s a pretty good chance they were just throwing something at the wall to see if it stuck, while being fully aware that the important storyline in season six was getting Ian from despair to a fulfilling career. Caleb was just there as a catalyst. 

Season seven if more interesting, because Trevor is brought on and it’s very much... “Hey, let’s do something new. Let’s bring on a transmasc character and put him into a relationship with Ian and explore those complications.” 

“Great! Put it up on the board!” 

“Also. Let’s call Noel Fisher’s people and see what we can work out because we can do better with Mickey’s send off and people are yelling at me on the street about it.” 

Quite honestly, these are not equal tasks for his writer’s room. You have one story -- Create a whole ass new character. The only thing we know is that he’s trans. Figure out the romance from there. You have six episodes to get them together as an established couple. 

Then: Bring back the well-established and beloved character for an epic romantic two-episode arc where he reunites with his true love and they run away together and then ultimately realize it cannot be, and say goodbye and it all feels like I Will Always Love You should be playing in the background. They actors worked together for five years. They have a great professional partnership. They like working together. They have a ton of history so there’s lots of juicy subtext. The longing and sexual tension comes pre-established. See what you can do. 

HOW do you make both those things work out so that they are equal? You need lightening to strike. And that already happened on How I Met Your Mother. They squandered their good luck and now there is none left for Shameless. I do not disparage Elliot Fletcher at all when I say that for Trevor and Ian to really work he’d have had to have come with scorching chemistry with Cam, rich material that really gave them a good opportunity to build rapport between the characters, and A wizard standing by to cast spells in the wings. They had SIX episodes, a pretty average connection between the actors, and the “these are the LGBTQ+ people in your neighbourhood” scene. 

I just can’t believe that someone with as many years of TV writing under his belt as John Wells has expected that to work. He hoped the Trevor story might be good, and was certainly going to break some ground in terms of telling trans stories. And the Mickey story was going to be the highlight, because he knew people wanted it and he also knew that they’d had something pretty special to start with. Which is why people were yelling at him at Comic-Con. I DO think he hoped it might placate fans a bit. But... he wasn’t going to completely close the door on Mickey this time, either. 

So... I don’t really think the show every intended to write Mickey off “for good”. I think they wrote him off “for now, and we’ll see what happens...” -- and they did that with Karen, Shelia, Jody, Steve and Fiona, too. They only brought a few of those people back... They brought Mickey back three times. They ended Gallavich FOUR times. Noel is in ever season except eight. I don’t think they wanted Mickey gone -- but I KNOW the fans also made it pretty hard for them not to know his value, so absolutely I think that played a role. But when you create something people love and you get that lightening in a bottle like they did with this story, I think writers are always going to be excited to get that back. They like praise! They like people to be excited about their show. And Gallavich was always one of the things that got people excited about Shameless. 

I think they also wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story. But that’s why the lightening in the bottle is so valuable. You can’t just get it anywhere. 

[loftec]

From @chocolateteapot "Alt shameless after season 5 🙏"

Oh absolutely! This isn't really a fic wip, I just wrote down a "pitch" for how I'd write seasons 6 and 7 (and a bit of 8) in a fit of spite. I think I've posted the whole thing before, but here it is again:

Alt Shameless after season 5

Ian is on his meds and since he broke up with Mickey because he thought he’d be better off alone, he doesn’t go looking for new boyfriends.

He sleeps around a lot though.

He doesn’t have a lot of storyline, because he’s mostly clammed up and moping around, and his family keep assuming that it’s because of his meds. 

Maybe four episodes in, something happens at work that makes Ian seek out an LGBT+ group, where he meets Trevor at a charity event. They work together all day and really hit it off, they have some similar interests, and they end up talking about a lot of things. At the end of the day, Trevor asks him out, and Ian says yes before he’s remembered that he doesn’t do that stuff.

He’s nervous about the date and drinks a couple of beers before Trevor even shows up, he gets piss drunk and wakes up the next day in a strange room.

It’s Trevor’s bedroom, and Trevor comes in with coffee, telling him that Ian was pretty much drunk when he showed up and barely able to stand on his own two legs by the time the check arrived. 

Ian tells him about being on meds, and that’s why he got so drunk so fast.

Trevor thinks he could have just told him, and Ian says his mental illness pretty much was the reason his old relationship didn’t work out.

Trevor asks if it was Mickey. Ian wonders what Trevor knows about it.

“You may have mentioned him last night. Like a lot.”

Ian says yeah, and is quick to correct him when Trevor assumes that it was Mickey who left.

I broke up with him, thought it was the best for the both of us at the time… also don’t think I expected it to last. We usually find our way back.

But not this time?

He’s in prison. Fifteen years. 

It’s the first time he says it out loud.

Trevor says he’s not interested in starting a relationship with someone who’s clearly still in love with their ex (and Ian kinda smiles, because it’s true and it’s so nice that someone else can see it and accept it and take it seriously). But, he says, you do look like you could use a friend, and not to brag, but I make an excellent friend. He does the cheesy handshake, re-introduction (where we find out his last name!) and they agree to be friends.

Turns out Trevor’s estranged from his family, and after maybe a shaky start, he finds a natural spot in the Gallagher clan and becomes part of some of the other plot points throughout the season.

Ian’s storylines can be about his work, and about stuff happening at the LGBT+ youth center, and they get into highjinx, but nothing super serious (or illegal!!).

Ian at some point has a big moment with Yevgeny, where he comes to terms with no longer being a parent, and maybe even thinking that it’s for the best. Maybe Ian talks to Svetlana about Mickey.

Throughout the second half of the season. Whenever the Gallaghers gather and Ian isn’t there, they wonder where he is and try to reach him, letting it go when they can’t.

But after it happens too many times to be a coincidence, they start wondering. Maybe Lip and Fiona talk about it, worrying about Ian having a low, or a high, but not knowing if they should intervene.

Lip talks to Trevor, and tells him more about Ian’s bipolar. Trevor denies having noticed anything, and maybe even questions if Lip has any right telling him Ian’s personal stuff.

(Also, I think it would be really nice for Trevor to have a romantic/sexy storyline... so I wouldn’t mind Trevor and Ian starting a friends with benefits relationship, deciding on the terms of it before they start it. Or, Trevor starts a relationship with someone else. Depends on how much drama one wants. They could maybe even start developing feelings so there's actually something there when Mickey returns. If one wants. But personally I think it would be more fun if he started a relationship with someone else so it can take up more space and end happily for him. Give the man a name, a personality, and maybe even something he might want out of life based on that personality.)

Last episode of the season, they’ve had some big plot point resolved by the Gallaghers getting together and working it out as a goddamned team, and they’re all sitting on the porch steps when a police car stops outside their house.

The officer tells them that Ian is on record as having visited Mickey in prison, and Lip is like, yeah, once maybe a year ago, what’s that got to do with anything? And the officer says, no, he’s visited once a week for the past six months. And Mickey has escaped. And they have a warrant to search their house.

The Gallaghers sit packed together on the couch watching the news as the officers search through the house, and on the TV we get the whole scoop. There has been a massive prison break and like 40 highly dangerous inmates have escaped, Mickey amongst them.

BOOM. Credits.

Season seven.

Throughout the season, we get like comedic side story lines about the police and the escaped inmates basically roaming the streets. Potentially outrageous and lots of opportunity to oscillate between slapstick comedy and high-stakes drama

Ian waits for Mickey to contact him, but it doesn’t happen until maybe a couple of episodes in. TENSION.

Ian has other storylines through the season, but mainly it ends up being his secret rendezvous (plural, frequent, in-depth, and sexy) with Mickey where they get to spend time together, talk. Bonus if they try to “be friends” for a while, because they don’t talk about the important stuff and they don’t know where they have each other, and they don’t know what’s going to happen. It doesn’t last long, culminating in an explosively passionate love scene.

At some point, Ian is approached by an FBI agent, telling him they have a deal for Mickey if he turns himself in and give them info on the other escapees. Ian says he’s not in contact with Mickey, and even if he were, Mickey would never snitch.

Later on, he talks to Mickey about their future. Mickey explains that the gang he joined in prison are escaping across the border to Mexico, and he has to go with them. Ian says he’ll come with Mickey, but Mickey is firmly against it.

He wants Ian to come with him, of course, but he doesn’t want that life for Ian. No security, a life of crime, on the lam. He kind of gets why Ian broke up with him, now, if this is anything like what he felt at the time, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Ian pleads with him, telling him that breaking up is something he’s spent over a year regretting.

Yeah, but what other choice have we got?

Ian tells him about the deal, and takes out two gold bands he’s bought from a pawnshop. If they get married, they can be put in the witness protections program together, and start over.

Mickey agrees, to Ian’s great surprise, and they end the season being shipped off to an unknown location as the busload of prisoners get apprehended on the way to Mexico (cartoonish, but with a little bit of work and research, maybe could be an acceptably goofy and almost realistic plotpoint).

(For Drama, Mickey could be with the prisoners when they’re apprehended, and he’s shot dead by the police. Cut to Ian being in the ambulance that picks him up, and Mickey is still sitting in his body bag, all bloodied, as they suck face and the FBI drive them to their new location.)

Then, depending on the actors I suppose, they could have their Endgame, or season eight could be Ian and Mickey trying to start a new life and it being completely ridiculous (like, imagine a mix between IASIP where Mac and Dennis are in the house with the Mac & Cheese mixed with like, Suburgatory, or Weeds, or whatever. Two gay southside kids suddenly trying to make a life for themselves in some middle class suburb somewhere, and they hate it. But they love each other.)

The hardship they face in their safehouse isn’t from themselves, (it’s from situations and circumstance, and other people being impossible) and every time something happens it only leads them to break down another barrier by talking about their feelings and hopes for the future, and thoughts about the past. And I want them specifically to talk about Yevgeny, how hard it was for Mickey to feel anything good about him at first, but now he misses him like he’s missing a limb. Them trying to be a wholesome couple in a suburb somewhere is an unmitigated disaster, but it does help them get a lot closer to each other and work through their problems, and their past.

And then through some Shameless™ retcon, something suddenly makes it possible for them to return back home. Or maybe they’re just like, fuck this, is there anyone stopping us from just grabbing our shit and going home?? No. So they do.

Yevgeny is part of the reason why they return. They move in to the apartment above the Alibi at first, and Mickey can work in the bar.

Everybody they know are on their side, denying everything in true South Side style if anyone asks about them, once again solidifying the core concept of the show; we take care of family.

The whole thing where they’re possibly in danger from the mexican cartel looking to exact revenge could be played for laughs and brushed off, until it might come back and create more Drama in a later season, if needed, before being permanently resolved. 

Characters thinking they’re invincible and being stupid about stuff like this is fine, I think, if they do it for a good reason.

Wip ask

[restapesta]

You know I can’t resist sending a prompt or two (or three….). Some ideas for fics or meta - how much communication do you think Ian and Mickey had between Ian leaving prison and Mickey leaving prison in s10 and/or how would you write it differently? (e.g. I would have loved if Ian had been there to meet Mickey when he got out) - what thoughts (if any) do you think S1 Mickey had about Ian before they hooked up? - how do they celebrate their second wedding anniversary?

Okay so, you got me hooked with the Ian waiting for Mickey when he got out of prison.

I, personally, considered it a lost opportunity when it came to that specific plotline, and I remember reading a sort of fix-it fic where Ian ends up meeting Mickey right when he got out, and freaking loving it. First off, the concept—if it had come to life—would've presented an amazing parallel to s2ep2 when Ian greets Mickey with Mandy when he comes out of juvie.

We have Mickey who, years ago, had shrugged off Ian's arm off his shoulder, had acted super nonchalant about Ian's over-all presence (despite the fact we know they're becoming closer, and Ian's visited Mickey on multiple occasions), and was simply denying himself of all the emotions he had surrounding Ian, who he was finally able to see without glass separating them. So imagine, in season 10, Mickey getting out and finally indulging himself.

He allows himself to look forward to seeing Ian. Imagine the anticipation that had followed when he told Ian over the brief phone call they had that he was getting out soon; that even though they didn't see it coming, he was finally coming home. Mickey made sure to let Ian know the exact time of his release (Ian, who was so unbelievably excited and happy). He spent the remaining days in prison day-dreaming about finally reuniting with the only person he loves unconditionally in this world (the same person he was itching to get away from weeks before, but whatever), and finally getting out of the god-forsaken place for good.

When the time finally comes, I imagine it being sort of similar like it was with Lip and Ian, yet not similar at all.

Mickey waits for the gate to buzz open. He sees Ian waiting for him patiently, a wide grin on his face (again, Ian, who had arrived twenty minutes early, just because).

Mickey feels his palms getting sweaty because Ian Gallagher is annoyingly handsome, and he is Mickey's boyfriend, the love of his fucking life, standing there, waiting for him to finally get out and be free in the outside world.

The first thing Ian does is pull Mickey into a hug. He's missed him so much. He feels like the world is finally able to continue rotating on its axis now that Mickey's back in his arms. He breathes him in, makes sure to inhale deeply because, fuck, he's missed Mickey's fucking scent. Mickey lets it happen. Lets Ian grip him tight like he's going off to war, and wraps his own arms around Ian's wide back because he's missed him just the same.

Now, don't get me wrong—the episode six kiss was fucking perfect, no matter how short. But imagine how amazing it would have been if we saw Ian pulling Mickey into a deep kiss, right in front of that goddamn prison. Just kissing the life out of him because he can. Pressing their lips together with such force that Mickey ends up being tipped back, and Ian has to stop him from toppling over onto his back by wrapping his arms lower around his torso.

Neither of them care or mind.

Mickey's out of prison and Ian is finally allowed to breathe again. His life is back with him. He doesn't have to worry about feeling uncared for, or misunderstood (or forgotten). And Mickey's finally out of prison, ready to start his life, away from incarceration. He's not on the run; he's not in Mexico or some other foreign country.

He's with Ian, just like he's always wanted to be.

And they go from there—I would have loved if some things in season 10 would have been done differently, but fuck it, the ending was all worth it.

---------

My dear Calli, here's something short for the other two prompts because you were so sweet to send them and I'd hate to disappoint ❤️:

I think Mickey had seen Ian around before they hooked up. Nothing much, honestly. Nothing to really peak his interest besides huh, ginger alien motherfucker. But Ian definitely spikes his attention after the whole fiasco with Mandy, and maybe Mickey might be a little more attracted to the ginger fucker than he initially thought ;)

Oh, second anniversary? All I'm going to say is gallavich week day three. (hehe)

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1.      Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2.      Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3.      Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4.      Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5.      Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1.      Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2.      Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3.      Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears. 

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4.      Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship. 

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5.      Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey. 

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did. 

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

[milkovichy]

oh man, this episode had everything i wanted.

baby!! hit my husband again, and i'll fucking kill you!!

they have really come so far since the beginning of the season. i love them househunting and i think that place will be good for them. meeting new people and just being ian and mickey without their families - that's great. and it also fit with both of their characters that ian had to push mickey into this, because i don't think mickey ever would've considering living a better life than the southside (as he even says himself)... wouldn't mind some reality style tv show: southsiders on the westside - the gays take over chicago

i love that there was no argument from ian about who is at fault for the fight (lip is such a dick, i can barely stand him this season). and liam and frank were great too.

debbie was so fucking annoying, as always. i suppose, the writers want us to feel bad for her as she is now all alone. but it's her own fault since she is the one who broke it off with sandy. she had someone and she fucked it up over nothing... also, i think they could go with her being less annoying and still lonely. no pressuring a stranger to let her move into a room with 4 strange kids...

love franny tho. let her move in with ian and mickey!!

hope you are doing well!!

- rambling anon

hi rambling anon, how are you??  ❤️ 

i feel like this episode gave me all the ian-being-a-good-husband rights! just thinking about him being so excited about their new place, wanting the very best for him and mickey, protecting his husband by threatening to kill his brother. it was all very husbandy of him, i’d love to see more!

i was afraid the fight was gonna be about the stolen painting or something more serious, but i like the way it turned out. it was very organic, i think. lip was kind of a dick. i know he was stressed out and shit, but so was mickey.

on that note, mickey being scared of moving away from the place he grew up in makes so much sense when it comes to who he is as a person. southside’s all he’s ever known, and he’s finally in a place where he feels safe. change is hard, but i’m sure he’ll come around. i hope the resolution to this conflict brings them closer together rather than make them fight for real - the cute thing, i think, it’s that mickey fully accepted that he’s moving in with ian, no matter what. they’re husbands, and no matter where ian goes, mickey’s gonna go with him. it’s a given. it makes my heart warm.

debbie was... debbie, what can i say. that “all by myself” montage was so not funny, i get what they were trying to do but emma’s acting is not the best when it comes to comedy i think. franny was adorable! she loves her uncles so much, i wish we could see her playing liquor store robbery with uncle mickey - whatever that is.

[littlespoonevan]

i think you’ve done one before where ian and mickey run into trevor? but i’d love another one like that. or caleb. or kash. or literally anyone from the earlier seasons (could even be an old school mate who we don’t know!) and who has a shocked reaction that they are still together/married.

anon said:prompt: ian and mickey introducing each other as husbands at a group event scenario

so because i combined two prompts here, have two blasts from the past!! (though idk who’s gonna be happy to see caleb lmao hopefully the 2nd guest makes up for it) i hope u like it!!! :D

*

Mickey loosens his tie as he scans the room, idlywondering when exactly he’ll stop putting himself in uncomfortable socialsituations for Ian’s sake. Then again, Ian walking towards him in his fancyblazer with the top few buttons of his shirt undone and a bottle of beer ineither hand is a very particular fantasy he’s enjoying right now.

“How’re you holding up?” Ian asks, handing one of thebeers off to Mickey and sliding his free arm around Mickey’s waist. It’s prettyfucking ridiculous how quickly it makes Mickey relax but he figures he marriedIan for a reason.

When Ian had first told him about the benefit all theSouth Side emergency services were holding to raise money for a new hospitalwing Mickey had thought it sounded like his own personal version of hell. Buthe’d realised pretty quickly it was also Ian’s personal version of hell so he’dagreed to go.

Now that he’s here he’s gotta admit it’s not so bad.The charming, confident persona Ian used to wear back when he’d drag Mickey toafter-club parties back in the day seems come back to his husband easily enoughwith Ian flashing everyone hundred-watt smiles and schmoozing with thehigher-ups. There have been a few moments where Mickey’s felt uncomfortablestanding next to him but only because of his total lack of understanding aboutall the medical bullshit everyone is spewing rather than him actually feelinglike he’s being excluded from the conversation.

Plus, he can’t help the way he inwardly preens everytime Ian introduces him as his husband.

“’m surviving,” Mickey tells him, leaning into Ian’sside. “This place’s got good beer.”

“Its one saving grace,” Ian jokes, dropping a kiss onMickey’s temple. “Sorry, I know you’re probably bored. Just another hour or twoand we can hit the Alibi.”

The last thing Mickey wants to do is stay out evenlonger when Ian’s standing next to him looking like he does but he hums in acquiescenceanyway. Not like Ian’ll be complaining later on.

“It’s fine, man, I get it,” Mickey says, turning intoIan so they’re facing each other and putting his free hand on Ian’s hip. “You’restill on probation and it’s a fuckin’ miracle your old job even took you back.You need to stay here and act like employee of the month – I know the deal.”

Ian’s beaming at him by the time he’s finishedtalking and Mickey clears his throat, aware his ears are probably turning red.

“You’re the best,” Ian tells him, the words half lostto Mickey’s mouth as he darts in to kiss him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mickey huffs when he pulls away, tryingnot to act as flustered as he feels. “You can show me how much you appreciateme later.”

Ian’s smile turns devilish and he uses the arm aroundMickey’s waist to draw him in closer. “Oh, I plan to.”

Mickey’s just about to incite a game of chicken whenIan suddenly freezes and Mickey raises his gaze from Ian’s mouth to his eyes.Turning to look over his shoulder he attempts to follow Ian’s gaze but there’stoo many unrecognisable faces around for him to tell who Ian’s looking at.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, squeezing Ian’s hip to gethis attention.

Ian blinks, looking back to Mickey with an expressionthat’s some weird mix of panicked, apologetic and determined. “My ex is overthere.”

Mickey whips around again to look before he remembershe has no clue what Ian’s ex even looks like. “The firefighter?” he guesses.

Ian nods, offering him a tight smile. “Caleb,” hesays. “It’s fine, I don’t think he saw me.”

Which is probably the stupidest fucking thing Iancould’ve said because, of course, five seconds later someone’s calling out adisbelieving, “Ian Gallagher?”

Ian plasters a fake smile on his face and Mickeytakes a moment to pray for patience before he turns around to eye up the guymaking his way towards them. He’s attractive, in that clean-cut all-American way.He looks like the very definition of normal which Mickey knows just translatesto boring in Ian’s brain.

Ian had told him a little about him when they’dtalked shit through in prison. Said he’d been Ian’s attempt at a “normal”relationship that didn’t require all that much emotional effort because he’dpretty much been trying to haul himself out of a depressive episode when they’dmet. He’d also admitted he’d been trying to shove Mickey out of his mind at thetime which had hurt but he gets it, he thinks. God knows, he’d tried to drinkIan away in Mexico. It doesn’t hurt all that much now with Ian’s arm around himand Ian’s ring on his finger.

“Hey Caleb,” Ian greets half-heartedly when Calebreaches them and Mickey takes a drink of his beer to hide his laugh. It’s astark contrast to the enthusiastic friendliness Ian’s been sporting all night.

“How’ve you been?” Caleb asks, all earnestness thatMickey doesn’t trust for a second. “It’s been what? Nearly four years?”

“Yeah, I guess about that,” Ian agrees, voicecompletely neutral. “I’ve been good. I’m-“ he pauses and looks down at Mickeywith a smile that makes his knees weak. “Well, I’m married now,” Ian  says proudly, arm tightening around Mickey. “Thisis my husband, Mickey.”

Caleb’s mouth drops open in shock as his eyes flashto Mickey and Mickey immediately feels himself puffing up his chest. He’s readyfor whatever bullshit this fucker tries to throw at him.

“Wow,” Caleb splutters after a beat. “Congratulations.I- you’re his ex, Mickey, right?”

Mickey clears his throat and rubs at his eyebrow,pointedly using his left hand so he can show off his rings. “Not exactly his exanymore.”

“Right!” Caleb says quickly. “Sorry. You get what Imean, just- you two were broken up before.”

“Yeah, almost the biggest fucking mistake of my life,”Ian cuts in and he’s over-exaggerating a little for Caleb’s sake but Mickey canstill tell he means it. “No way am I letting him go again.” He directs the lastpart to Mickey and Mickey can only hold his gaze for a couple of seconds beforehe has to look away, throat feeling thick with emotion.

Caleb looks at a complete loss for words and Mickeyfeels privately vindicated. Yeah, gocrawl back to whatever hole in the past you came from, he thinksmutinously.

“That’s um- I’m glad you’re so happy,” Caleb says finallyand Mickey’s just narrowing his eyes to try and figure out if he means it whenhe hears another familiar voice calling his name.

“MickeyMilkovich?”

And Christ, Mickey never thought he’d ever be happyto hear a fucking cop calling hisname.

He promptly turns away from Caleb, hearing Ian’sexcuse of, “Sorry, an old friend,” before he turns with him and then they’reboth standing face to face with Tony fucking Markovich.

“Don’t tell me you’re a cop now,” Tony jokes andMickey had not expected him to lookso happy to see him.

“I don’t think they let ex-cons join the force,” hesays, blinking in surprise when Tony only laughs. Huffing an unsure laugh ofhis own, he nods in Ian’s direction. “Nah, I’m only here for Ian.”

“He’s my arm candy,” Ian cuts in, moving his arm fromMickey’s waist to drape it around his neck.

Mickey rolls his eyes but watches Tony carefully forhis reaction.

“Glad to hear you two worked shit out,” Tony says,looking painfully sincere, and since when the fuck did Tony the cop know theywere even together? “I was always rooting for you two.”

“I’ve got him locked down all official now,” Ianboasts, flashing his ring proudly at Tony.

“No way!” Tony exclaims, grin becoming impossiblywider. “That’s amazing, congrats! Let me get you two a beer later, consider ita belated wedding gift.”

Ian barks out a laugh beside him and Mickey is soconfused right now. “Hey, how’s your boyfriend?” Ian asks then. And what thefuck?

“We’re living together now,” Tony admits sheepishlyand before Mickey can stop himself he blurts out, “You’re gay?”

Tony laughs, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Yeah, Ian hadthe same reaction when he discovered that little revelation a few years ago.”

“It’s Fiona’s fault,” Ian tells him conspiratoriallyand Mickey finds a laugh bubbling out of him unexpectedly.

“Dan’s around here somewhere,” Tony says, craning hisneck to scan the room. “Hey, how about I find him and we get that drink? I haveto hear the proposal story.”

“You sure?” Mickey scoffs. “It’s a long one.”

“Eh these things are always boring anyway,” Tonyshrugs, gesturing to the banquet hall at large. “It’ll keep me entertained forthe night.”

Ian snorts beside him and waves Tony away. “Go findDan. We’ll meet you at the bar.”

Tony nods before taking his leave and Mickeyimmediately twists to face Ian once he’s gone. “What the fuck just happened?”

Ian barks out a laugh, depositing his beer bottle ona nearby table to wrap both his arms around Mickey. “The cop that you used toterrorise as a teenager just saved you from an awkward encounter with my ex.That’s what happened.”

Mickey shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ve had a lotof fuckin’ weird social interactions when you’ve dragged me to this kinda shitbut that has to be the weirdest.”

Ian laughs again, hugging him close and pressing hislips to Mickey’s forehead. “Just accept the free beer and remember it’sprobably good for us to have a friend who’s a cop.”

“A gayfriend who’s a cop, apparently,” Mickey scoffs, leaning his forehead againstIan’s shoulder a moment later. “Tony better not cheap out on the beer.”

Ian rubs his hand across Mickey’s shoulder blades, breathinghim in. “Pretty sure he’s on better pay than both of us so I think we’re good.”

“Come on,” Ian says then, catching Mickey’s hands anddragging in the direction of the bar. “I’ll buy you a shot of tequila first tocalm you down.”

“I can think of something else that’d calm me down,”Mickey says pointedly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom and raising hiseyebrows.

Ian halts, sizing him up for a moment and Mickeyknows he’s won before Ian even opens his mouth.

“Tony won’t miss us for a couple of minutes, right?”

Mickey grins, triumphant, and begins towing Ian inthe opposite direction.

He could get used to these benefit things.

*

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

A Hallmark Secret

Day 4 of 2020′s 31 Days of Ficmas.  Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the list!

Prompt: Holiday movies

Rating: G

Pairing: 12xRose AU; part of the Queen of Hearts universe

Summary: Even after seven months of marriage, Rose and Ian still have a lot to learn about each other.  A secret from Ian’s past brings back bad memories from Rose’s.

2020 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist  |  Queen of Hearts masterlist

AO3

---

Humming a vague Christmas tune to herself, Rose meandered her way through the palace hallways.  The decorations had started going up a few days earlier, and just that afternoon she’d overseen the last wreath being mounted in the ballroom, over the thrones.  The gigantic “official” tree in the foyer would have a ceremonial lighting ceremony the next evening, the one in the town square several days after, but the more reasonable-sized (but still large) one in their bedroom was already fully lit and decorated, giving the season a magical air none had had since she was a small child.

Without really planning it her feet followed her heart, and she ended up heading down the hallway where Ian’s public office was located.  She felt terrible for her poor husband; this was apparently a busy time of year, for nearly every night he’d have to return to work after dinner and an hour or so of relaxing with her.  She’d offered multiple times to help, to ease his burden, but he gently, kindly rebuffed her.

Approaching the door, she considered knocking – all she wanted was to help, to support him, considering how patient and supportive he’d been of her as she navigated her new life – and froze, as the distinctive peal of a woman’s laugh echoed through the door.

Oh, no.  Her heart dropped to her stomach, the previous decade vanishing and returning her to the stupid, prideful eighteen-year-old she’d been, so desperate to prove her mother (and Mickey) wrong that she’d put up with Jimmy Stone’s lying and cheating for longer than she cared to remember. No, no, no…

She stood frozen in the hallway, unable to make a decision – confront him, or run away?  I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation, her optimistic side encouraged, but the sinking feeling in her gut disagreed.  We’ve been here before, and it never ended well.

But Ian’s not Jimmy or Mickey, the optimism countered.  Ian is different – Ian is better.  That’s why we’re married.

Decision made, Rose took a deep breath for courage before moving forward, pushing the door open. She gave it more force than necessary, but didn’t wince as it banged against the wall, too focused on Ian’s guilty expression.  He was alone in the room, his laptop newly shut in front of him, and her stomach turned as he just stared at her.

“I heard laughter,” she said stiffly, fighting back the urge to start accusing, or shrieking – neither would help her now, not with him.  Not that they’d ever worked before.  “Meeting going well?”

Another flash of guilt made her stomach turn, before his brow furrowed.  “Wait, do you think-”

“I don’t know what I think,” Rose cut him off, “except that you’ve been lying to me.”

He watched her with a curious expression, before looking down at his laptop and sighing.  “All right, come here.”

She did, moving stiffly as he opened the lid, stopping at his side and glaring at the screen.  The image was generic Christmas, a tall decorated tree lit up with colorful lights, the dark night sky behind it. Then he clicked the screen and the image came to life, panning down and around to focus on a couple standing next to it.

“I’m sorry I made you doubt me,” Ian started, pausing the video again and rolling his chair back to make room for her, tugging her down onto his lap; she didn’t resist, but didn’t relent either, perching on his knee with her arms crossed, feeling vaguely guilty and somewhat silly, though the fears beating through her brain were not subdued.  “How do I explain?  When I was studying at Johns Hopkins, I lived with Grace – we were more roommates with benefits than anything else, as you know.  Well, when we would be overwhelmed with work and school, she liked to watch these movies that had started airing – Hallmark?  It’s a… thing over in the States, and it’s only grown over the last twenty years, but these were the early days.  They were cheesy and predictable, but… mindless.  A distraction.  I grew to enjoy them as well, because they were light and hopeful, and I needed that.”

Rose arched an eyebrow. “Are you telling me all your ‘late meetings’ were just you, in here, watching… Christmas movies?”

He nodded.  “I thought… I’m sorry, but I thought you’d laugh. No one knows.  Well, Grace, and we’ll occasionally discuss them in there’s a particularly good one, but- I was embarrassed.  I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

As his words processed, Rose didn’t know whether to cry or laugh.  Sinking into him, she buried her face in his neck, hating his hesitation before tightening his arms around her waist.  Emotion bubbled up her chest, and they were both surprised when it erupted as laughter.  Clinging to him, she gasped for breath amongst her howls, all of her worry being expelled until love tinged with shame remained, and she calmed.

Eventually she sat upright again so she could see his face, smiling as she wiped at her eyes.  “To be clear,” she started, voice hoarse, “I’m not laughing at you watching Hallmark movies.  I’m laughing because how I’ve entertained myself while waiting for you is by watching the same sort of cheese on Netflix.  And in fact, I’ve watched so many of them that I’ve gone through all the non-royalty ones and have resorted to watching those against my better judgement.  And let me tell you, this whole suddenly a queen thing looks a lot easier in the movies.”

Ian laughed as well, expression lightening.  “Sounds like we still need to work on being open and honest with each other,” he said easily.  “Why don’t we go back to our bedroom, make a cuppa, put on some seasonal pajamas, and curl up and watch a movie together?”

“I would love that.” She kissed him, deep and lingering. “And then maybe we’ll go to bed early.”

“Deal.”

-

Once settled on the couch, movie queued on the screen in front of them, Ian allowed himself to relax. It had felt good, sharing this aspect of himself with her, and he was gratified to know that not only had she not made fun of him, but she actually enjoyed the same sort of guilty pleasure.

He couldn’t help but be a little hurt at her initial reaction though, her suspicion and veiled accusations, wondering what he’d done to have that be what she jumped to, rather than planning a surprise (which he was, to be fair).

“Ready?”  Rose flopped onto the couch before curling into him, one arm firmly wrapped around the large bowl of popcorn fresh from the microwave. “Let’s start, so we can call it a night.”

“Sure,” he agreed, hitting play on the remote as they snuggled together.

He tried to focus on the plot, but his thoughts kept running away from him, and by the time the leads had ‘re-met’ as more than passing characters, he was consumed with questions. Hitting pause, he struggled to sit up as Rose protested the change.

“Hey!”  Putting the bowl on the coffee table in front of her, she turned around.  “What’s wrong?”

Ian licked his lips, trying to marshal his thoughts into coherence.  “Can we talk?”

Expression faltering, she nodded, crossing her legs and facing him.  “I guess you wanna know why I sort of overreacted?”

“I wouldn’t have put it that way, but, yes.  I… didn’t realize we had, well, trust issues.”

“We don’t.”  She sighed, not sounding particularly convinced. “At least, we don’t, and it’s honestly got nothing to do with you.”

He kept silent, watching her.  She seemed to have something on her mind, something from her past, he suspected, and tried to keep his features arranged in an open and inviting manner.  The fireplace crackling was the only sound, the light from the flames making her seem to glow.

“When I was sixteen, I had this shitty boyfriend,” she said haltingly, staring down at her hands and twirling her ring.  “He was a musician who thought he’d make it big, so it was the usual story – I dropped out of school to support him, and he thanked me by getting drunk and being abusive. Verbally, mostly, but- well, mostly. He also cheated.  A lot.  In our- in my bed.  The one that I paid for.  Long story short I eventually went home with my tail tucked between my legs, and you know the rest of that, but…  And then Mickey- don’t tell Martha, he was different then- well, he wasn’t much more inclined to be exclusive, but he wasn’t cruel about it, and to be honest I kept one foot out the door the whole time anyway.  The point is-” she took a deep breath, placing her hand over his, “the point is those scars are deep.  I thought they’d healed- I put a lot of effort into it- but when I stood outside your door, just wanting to be with you and help you, worrying about how much more you’d been working lately- and I heard a woman laugh… it just brought it all back.  Like getting slammed with a rogue wave, just instant- and I know you’re not like that, and I do trust you, I just-”

“Old wounds pull,” he murmured, when it was clear she wouldn’t continue.  “Instinct.”

“Yeah.”  She gave him a soft, tentative smile.  “So, really, I’m sorry for coming on so strong.  I just… I love you so much, I couldn’t do that again. Be the fool again.”

For the first time the conversation made him angry, but not at her.  “You are not a fool,” he told her fiercely, bringing both hands up to cradle her face and make her meet his eye, so she could see the sincerity there. “You are wonderful, and smart, and talented, and brave.  I’m sorry I was a prat sneaking around, I didn’t mean to make you worry.  And I won’t do it again.  I absolutely forgive you, not that there’s anything to forgive.”

“Thanks.”  She sniffled.  “And I forgive you.”

They kissed, a warm, buttery meeting of lips, just a joyful expression of love and happiness.

“Now, what say you we finish this movie?” he asked, tucking her hair behind her ears and making her smile. “I want to share this with you.”

Rose bit her lip, looking between the screen and his face, before shrugging one shoulder.  “Dunno, are you sure we’ve made up enough?”

His brow furrowed, her smile morphing into a cheeky grin and she tilted her head in the direction of their bed.  Finally understanding her meaning, he laughed, reaching for the remote and shutting off the telly without a second thought.

“An excellent idea,” he stood, offering her his hands.  “I think I have some making up to you to do.”

“Well, if you insist.”

And just like that, a new holiday tradition was born.

[meta-squash]

So a criticism about Ian and Mickey’s relationship I see a lot in fic, if not elsewhere, is that Ian is, generally, rather shitty to Mickey after Mickey has done so much for him and sacrificed a lot for him etc etc. Now, I don’t necessarily disagree with this criticism, but I also think it makes absolutely perfect sense for both of them, character-wise.

Because here’s the thing. In the beginning of their relationship, Mickey was the asshole. Mickey was the one dismissing Ian’s feelings, trying to convince them both that their relationship meant nothing, freaking out and hiding things, etc etc. Afterwards, it was Ian cheating on Mickey, running away, rejecting/insulting his support. Now, Mickey’s behavior doesn’t excuse Ian’s actions later on but it makes sense when you compare/contrast their actions.

Because Mickey clearly grew up in a house where it was everyone for themselves. Yes, he and his brothers sometimes did jobs together. And yes, Mickey and Mandy had a closer bond with each other than with the other Milkovich siblings, but it’s clear they’re still very separate. Mickey’s entire life growing up was a lone wolf situation, fending mostly for himself, always looking over his shoulder for threats, whether that’s his family or outsiders. So his behavior the first few seasons is dictated by that, by that fear and that independence and that self-preservation instinct that meant he was absolutely not ready for what Ian wanted out of him. Because young Ian does expect kind of a lot from emotionally-constipated young Mickey. So he pushes Ian away by insulting him, yelling at him, pretending to ignore him, etc etc. And you see that part of him breaking down as the seasons go on, until you get the Mickey of season 5, who still has some walls up, but Ian (and to some extent at first Svetlana and Yevgeny) are now included in those preservation instincts. Mickey grew up in a house where it was every man for himself, and everything was a potential threat, even family. So when he finally found someone who was comfortable for him, who made him feel good and safe, he settled down a little. Having Ian around (especially after he came out and that fear was gone) made him relax because he didn’t feel like he had to watch his back around Ian. And I think the flipping of that switch from being completely independent to finding someone that felt safe made Mickey so, so loyal. Loyal almost to a fault; he will do almost anything for Ian because Ian is the only person that has made him feel safe and loved and good. (I do, however, think Mickey is Gay, not “Ian-sexual” or whatever. It’s just that Ian is someone he’s both sexually and romantically into, not just sexually.) Suddenly, it’s okay to make caring, loving gestures and act in a way that helps someone else besides himself. Mickey goes from being a lone wolf, growing up alone and scared and angry and seeing nearly everyone as a threat, to finding someone that makes him feel safe and being willing to give everything for that person.

Which is exactly the opposite to Ian, and that’s why their behaviors make sense. Because Ian grew up in a family that absolutely depended on each other. The siblings all lean on each other heavily for support and love and backup and advice and everything. Now obviously there are times where that splinters or distorts, but there’s never a point where they’re all seeing each other as potential threats the way the Milkovich house is. Everyone depends on each other and definitely, obviously, openly cares about and for each other. But this also means Ian’s behavior makes sense as well. Now, obviously, a lot of it can be attributed to his first manic phase, but there’s other factors as well. Once Ian gets out of the Gallagher house and starts living with Mickey, he’s a lot more independent. He’s not necessarily seeing his family every hour of every day. So this new independence makes him push back a little. He’s grown up in a place where everyone leans on each other. Now he wants to stand up on his own, but this comes up alongside his manic phase and so he goes running with it instead of walking. He cheats on Mickey and insults him etc because suddenly leaning on everyone for a Real Reason is scary and weird and he wants to be independent. And because he’s manic he goes to extremes and freaks out. Probably if he wasn’t manic it would just be more arguing, more kinda stupid reckless decisions and “don’t tell me what to do” moments, but not to the extent that he does act.

This makes sense later on, too. Because I think Ian and Mickey’s journeys are like weirdly opposite. Mickey going from angry, independent, lone wolf, to this caring person who will do anything for the people he cares about and who genuinely wants to like, be stable and shit (though his sorta thug personality still stays). And Ian going from someone who is there for his family to depend on, who’s part of this tight-knit team, to needing his space and wanting independence and wanting to be able to do things without his family’s input or whatever.

And this makes sense because I think Mickey never had a good, stable, solid relationship before and so he holds tight to what he has. But because he’s Mickey, the little gestures are actually big gestures, like buying Ian vitamins or whatever, while the big gestures are just like “of course I’ll do that, it’s the right thing to do” actions, like coming to Ian in prison, or tattooing his name, or saying I love you. But Ian, who’s had fairly stable relationships and love his whole life, doesn’t see those little gestures for what they are because he’s so used to everyone taking care of everyone else in those sorts of ways. His family has always been the type to buy each other vitamins or take care of each other’s problems or whatever. Doing things for people is just expected, rather than a gesture of love and care the way Mickey sees it.

And Ian definitely and absolutely loves Mickey, but his love language is different. He’s a talker, and Mickey isn’t. And I think actions freak him out just a little bit because it feels like someone doing something for him in a “you can’t do this yourself” way rather than an “I care about you” way. He pushes back against them because he wants so badly to be his own person making his own decisions instead of “a Gallagher” doing Gallagher things or instead of being seen as someone who can’t do that because of his bipolar. But Mickey does the same thing, picks dumb fights when he feels freaked out or whatever.

I think by the end of their prison stint together they were kind of starting to meet in the middle. Every time they reacted poorly to something, whether arguing or dumb actions, they started to work it out and reverse the problem. No idea if it’ll stay that way, but that’s how it seemed.

Anyway, I don’t think that excuses either of their actions, but I really do think it makes sense. Someone who comes from complete independence and instability suddenly finding someone comfortable and wanting stability during/after a traumatic situation (coming out, Ian’s mania) makes sense. And someone coming from a group where everyone depends so intensely on each other suddenly wanting independence and autonomy, especially during/after a traumatic situation (bipolar disorder, arrest, etc) makes sense as well. And while they understand each other pretty well, I think there are some fundamental aspects that because they grew up in such opposite environments, they’re a little hard for the other person to really understand and accommodate for. So they act and react in a way that makes sense to them, that feels right to them, but that hurts or freaks out or generally messes with the other person.

Idk if this was necessarily coherent, but it was a thought I had at work today and I wanted to write it down.

[allspark]

It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like Transformers, G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, My Little Pony, Spider-Man, Star Trek, and more! All coming your way for June 12th!

TRANSFORMERS #7

Brian Ruckley (A) Cachet Whitman (CVR A) Christian Ward (CVR B) Livio Ramondelli

When another body shows up, Chromia and Prowl feel the pressure to get answers. Bumblebee, meanwhile, applies for a new job-as a bodyguard. But first, he has to impress Elita-1.

•   New story begins here! •   A brand-new era of Transformers!

TRANSFORMERS #1 (2ND PTG)

Brian Ruckley (A) Angel Hernandez, Cachet Whitman (CVR) Gabriel Rodriguez

GI JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO #263

Larry Hama (A/CVR A) Netho Diaz (CVR B) Dan Fraga

As Cobra continues its relentless onslaught on a global scale, G.I. Joe is there to meet them in kind. It’s tyranny versus freedom-heroes and villains will rise and fall, bullets will fly, blood will spill, and who and what remains when the smoke clears is anyone’s guess! Join Living Legend Larry Hama and superstar artist Netho Diaz for another explosive adventure into the action-packed world if G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero!

AMBER BLAKE #1 (2ND PTG)

Jade Lagardère (A/CVR) Butch Guice

AMBER BLAKE #4

Jade Lagardère (A/CVR) Butch Guice

Amber Blake has finally found the person responsible for all of the pain in her life-and there’s no way she’s letting him get away again. But nothing is as it seems, and when the people closest to her betray her, she’ll have to use all of her skills to get out alive-and to get the vengeance she’s longed for.

BERKELEY BREATHED’S BLOOM COUNTY ARTIST EDITION HC

Berkeley Breathed (A/CVR) Berkeley Breathed

The Pulitzer Prize-winning creator of one of the most cherished and fondly remembered comic strips of all time showcases his art in this deluxe oversized edition. You’ve read all the strips, now see the art! This Artist’s Edition features an incredible selection of daily and Sunday comic strips, as well as a selection of sketchbook pages and drawings, published here for the very first time, each and every one scanned from the original art. The dailies are presented at the ACTUAL size drawn, and the Sundays have been slightly reduced but are still bigger and more beautiful than they have ever been presented before! This is the ULTIMATE Bloom County collection by the inimitable Berkeley Breathead!

•   Advance solicited for November release! •   Bloom County returned as a successful webcomic in 2015, with collections published annually by IDW to critical acclaim.

DISNEY COMICS AND STORIES #5

Andrea Castellan, Marco Gervasio, Tito Faraci (A) Andrea Ferraris, Marco Gervasio, Alessio Coppola (CVR) Paolo Campinoti

Three stories never-before-seen in the U.S. await you in another fun-filled issue! In “Mickey Mouse and the Hydrophilic Monsters,” Mickey and Goofy encounter plant life like they-or you-have never seen before! Then, in “Pluto and the ‘Super’ Day,” what happens when Goofy dog-sits Mickey’s beloved pup? Why, nothing less than the unexpected! Finally, in “Shhh,” Peg-Leg Pete and his accomplice encounter more than they bargained for in a robbery gone very wrong!

GLOW #2

Tini Howard (A/CVR A) Hannah Templer

Faced with foes in the forms of the Star Primas-who have real muscles and matching windbreakers-the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling are ready to prove they aren’t unskilled losers. They’re paid television actors! And it’s time to show those Star Primas that paid television actors mean business… Based on the hit Netflix series!

GOOSEBUMPS HORRORS OF THE WITCH HOUSE #2

Denton J. Tipton, Matthew Dow Smith (A/CVR A) Chris Fenoglio

Rosie thought it was bad enough having a witch as a neighbor, but now the witch is trying to take over the whole town! As their parents fall under the witch’s dark spell, it’s up to Rosie and her friends to try and save the day. And they thought algebra was hard…

GLOW #2

Tini Howard (A/CVR A) Hannah Templer

Faced with foes in the forms of the Star Primas-who have real muscles and matching windbreakers-the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling are ready to prove they aren’t unskilled losers. They’re paid television actors! And it’s time to show those Star Primas that paid television actors mean business… Based on the hit Netflix series!

GRAVE TP

Dan Fraga (A/CVR) Dan Fraga

ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR APRIL RELEASE! For fans of coming-of-age stories similar to Stephen King’s The Body; the movie based on it, Stand By Me; IT; Stranger Things; and E.T. Drawn one panel per day over a year, follow the story of three boys who discover a shallow grave while on a weekend camping trip. But that’s just where the mystery begins. The unexpected find reveals a cigar box containing seven mysterious items: a knife, a coin, a pocket watch, a rare baseball card, a gold ring, a silver spoon, and a strange manga comic. How are these items connected? Whose body lies buried? Find out in this once in a lifetime tale of friendship, mystery, suspense, and growing up.

MARVEL ACTION SPIDER-MAN #5

Erik Burnham (A/CVR A) Christopher Jones

Now that Peter, Miles, and Gwen have joined forces, nothing can stop them! Except maybe for homework and an internship at the Daily Bugle. Not to mention being stalked by a most dangerous foe… Kraven the Hunter! All-new web-slinging action in the Mighty Marvel Manner! This exciting new story arc features the Marvel Action debut of Kraven the Hunter! Variant cover by Marvel Action: Black Panther artist Juan Samu!

MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #78

Katie Cook, Andy Price (A/CVR A) Andy Price

The thrilling conclusion to the “Cosmos” story arc is here! With the most powerful ponies in Equestria under Cosmos’ control, do the remaining ponies stand a chance? And whose side will Discord take? Don’t miss the end of what might be Katie Cook and Andy Price’s finest MLP story yet!

MY LITTLE PONY TO WHERE AND BACK AGAIN GN

Justin Eisinger (A/CVR) Various

Adapting the most beloved My Little Pony animated cartoon episodes to graphic novels! My Little Pony comes to bookshelves! Revisit the inhabitants of Equestria and learn about the magic that friendship brings in this adaptation of the television series’ sixth season finale! This volume adapts the two-part “To Where and Back Again” in an original graphic novel.

ROAD OF THE DEAD HIGHWAY TO HELL TP

Jonathan Maberry (A) Drew Moss (CVR) Santiperez

Advance solicited for June release! The five-time Bram Stoker Award-winning author introduces the world to the latest chapter of the zombie epic in this over-the-top wild-ride prequel to ROAD OF THE DEAD! The dead rose and are feasting on the living and a young scientist may hold the secret to a cure. Meanwhile, zombies and biker gangs want her dead, so it’s up to a bunch of losers in muscle cars and a hijacked tank to risk everything to save her.

STAR TREK Q CONFLICT #5

Scott Tipton, David Tipton (A/CVR A&B) David Messina

The contest for the ages continues as the Captains race to capture the one exotic creature that Trelane is missing from his intergalactic menagerie-a Borg Queen! But as the Godlike beings revel in the games, the crews are hatching a plan of their own. Don’t miss the penultimate issue of the biggest Star Trek crossover of all time! The crews of The Next Generation, The Original Series, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine come together to face their biggest challenge yet! Written by Star Trek: TNG: Mirror Broken scribes Scott & David Tipton!

STAR TREK VS TRANSFORMERS TP

John Barber, Mike Johnson (A) Jack Lawrence (A/CVR) Philip Murphy

When Kirk, Spock, and the entire crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise investigate problems at a remote mine, they’re met with a explosive battle between powerful warriors who change into vehicles from the 20th century! As the battle between the Autobots and Decepticons rages, it’s up to Kirk to decide-does he violate the Prime Directive and interfere in a war that’s raged for millenia? And how will the Klingons complicate the issue? It’s cartoony fun between two of the most popular science fiction franchises in the world!

•   Advance solicited for May release! •   Four decades in the making, it’s the crossover that fans have demanded! Kirk, Spock, and Autobots! •   Decepticons and Klingons! Optimus Prime and the Prime Directive!

SWAMP MONSTERS

(CVR) Iger Shop

Something’s out there in the mad, murky depths of the fear-filled, sinister swamp… some… swamp… THING is coming for you! And it’s out for mud! The terror team that brought you Zombies, Return of the Zombies, and the petrifyingly popular hit series, Haunted Horror, takes you on an excursion of evil into the dankest, lagooniest corners of your nightmares, and dredge up over 240 pages of icky, drippy, slimy, grimy beasts from the grungy bottom of the Pre-Code comics’ bog. Swamp Monsters includes a fascinating introduction by comics legend, acclaimed artist of Swamp Thing, “Swampy” Stephen Bissette!

V-WARS GOD OF DEATH ONE-SHOT

Jonathan Maberry (A) Alex Milne (CVR A) Ryan Brown

Michael Fayne was patient zero of the plague that exploded into the Vampire Wars. A cult of militant vampires wants to resurrect him. Luther Swann leads a strike team to prevent the rise of a vampire god. New York Times bestseller Jonathan Maberry returns with an all-new V-Wars tale.

Five-time Bram Stoker award-winning author Jonathan Maberry returns to his signature comic book creation in time for the new TV series starring Ian Somerhalder!

Cover and interior art features the return of Transformers: Unicron superstar artist Alex Milne! Watch for V-Wars on Netflix starring Ian Somerhalder in 2019!

  Join the IDW Hasbro Shared Universe related conversation here in our Comics Discussion and Reviews section and here for all other franchises, superheroes, or general comic book discussions! Not a member? Join our community by creating your own free account here! Or jump right into the live chat on our Discord server or our Facebook Group!

IDW Comics Shipping List for June 12th! It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like…

[dreamylyfe-x]

I’m kind of curious, what do you think of Ian and Trevor’s relationship? And that leading to him blowing up a van

Ahhh. Trevor. Yeah. I don’t think that was so great. 

First of all, it’s like two different relationships, really. You have season 7 when they’re meeting, getting together and falling apart... and then you have season 8 where they are... I don’t even know what. 

Season 7, I mostly think the show really didn’t have the time and space to tell the story of Ian getting involved with Trevor, but they decided to proceed anyway. Which, if they had wanted it to be an eight episode arc, would have been ok. But Trevor is around for 18 episodes. 

I mean, let’s lay this out. Trevor arrives in 7x04. 7x06 ends with Ian deciding he does in fact want to date him. 7x09 ends with Ian finding out Mickey’s back. Trevor and Ian are together for a hot second. And during that time, we don’t get to find out that much about him. Like we know he’s generous in a lot of ways, but also quick to anger. Kinda condescending. Kinda sweet. Mostly he’s all over the place. A lot of the time I struggle to find Trevor organic. When he gets mad, I’m always like “how did you get there, my dude?” and when he’s all moony I feel the same way. There are multiple scenes of Trevor and Ian laughing over something that go TOO LONG and feel a bit like old episodes of Murder, She Wrote, where they always had to have the show about violent death end on Jessica smiling. Then there’s stuff like Trevor telling off Frank. Trevor telling Fiona she’s a badass. It has a real Poochie vibe to me. But.... Trevor is not a Poochie. Trevor is a character who, if he had any chance of working, is about to get cut off at the knees. 

The show cannot be confused about what is going to happen in 7x10 when Mickey comes back. Not just to Ian, but to the audience. Storywise, we are going to be shown positive proof that Ian is still in love with Mickey. Not just a little bit, not lingering feelings, but try to leave your family and job and give all your money away in love with his ex. And even outside of what’s on the page, they’re like “Here. This is what is looks like when Cam has chemistry with someone. This is what the performances look like when there’s some complexity and history and subtext. Here’s a character with a strong voice and a well-established personality.” 

And now... Here’s Trevor. 

I’m sure Trevor had his fans. Like, I get it. I particularly get it if people just really like Elliot Fletcher. But the people behind this show aren’t idiots and they know how to craft a story. You can see it with Mickeys’ two-episode arc. They have to know you can’t have that story and have a viable Ian/Trevor romance in the same season. You gotta pick one. And they picked Mickey. 

AS THEY SHOULD. 

*ahem*

That brings us to season 8, which is even weirder on the Trevor tip than season 7. 

For most people, if you’ve been dating some guy and the second the ex showed up your boyfriend not only instantly falls back into bed with him, but then runs away with him for a few days and only comes back because of a bunch of considerations that have nothing to do with whether or not he’s in love with the guy...  that’s gonna be it. EVEN if his mother dies. The normal thing to do would be, in the words of Lip Gallagher, to fuck someone else. Like ANYONE else. He cheated weeks in. It’s done. 

So why the heck are they still hanging out together in season 8? Like from a story POV. What is the reason? 

My theory on the Ian front is detailed in my story Unsent and it’s basically this: Ian was desperate for comfort and Trevor must have been a person he thought he could get that from. He had gotten it from him (imperfectly, maybe) in the past. I DO NOT KNOW what Trevor wanted. I really don’t. I never got to know Trevor well enough. 

I’ll tell you want he didn’t want: What was best for Ian. 

And honestly, why should he? Ian is his ex. For good reason. Trevor does not need to be nice to him. Trevor doesn’t even really have to tell Ian to go away, though he almost certainly should have. It probably would have been kinder. But honestly, so much of what comes next only makes sense if you decide Trevor is low-key evil. He lets Ian pine (pretty normal level of ex-punishment), tells him he loves him (NOT POSSIBLE. I love Ian Gallagher too, sir, but that is NOT POSSIBLE. You were together for a minute and you are not that ridiculous) and then does this gross, dehumanizing weird thing involving men with bigger bodies. Lets/encourages Ian to prostitute himself to get money for the shelter. Yells at Ian over Geneva when a conversation might have been more appropriate/made more sense. And then, right as Ian starts to tip into really concerning behaviour, kiiiiiinda get back with him, sort of? And then vanish when it becomes extremely clear that he’s sick. 

But I don’t think the show intends for him to be evil. I’m not sure what the show intends him to be, but I suspect we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy. He almost functions like Harry in Dexter. Just the guy standing at Ian’s elbow and making comments on the action. He isn’t really being written like he’s separate from Ian. He’s there to provide some sort of stimulus to direct the action. But it’s hard to view Trevor as a character. 

I actually think Shameless has incredible skill to bring in characters for ten minutes and make them seem like rounded characters. I don’t think they get there with Trevor because I don’t think they ever really decided what they were doing with him. They didn’t entirely have room for the character on the canvas in season 7 and then they kind shoehorn him in to what comes next. I also think the issues with Trevor extend to Caleb, actually. They’re both strangely changeable. Sometimes encouraging and affectionate and sometimes cold, manipulative or bullying. I personally think that Caleb is the worse of the two, but neither of them are easy to root for. 

I’m not 100% I’m sure I am interpreting what you’re asking about the van correction. I certainly don’t attribute that to Trevor and I have much less frustration with him than I do with Ian’s family for not recognizing how many bright red flags there were. Certainly Trevor’s hesitancy seems to come a little late. But Trevor isn’t Ian’s boyfriend and he might consider himself Ian’s friend, but he’s also clearly got some serious feelings of wrongdoing where Ian is concerned. 

In Trevor’s defence, with the whole series finished, I think season 8 is certainly one of, if not THE weakest season. Trevor isn’t the only problem. But I don’t think he’s a very successful character for them. 

[loftec]

Heyyyyy girl! We haven't talked in a hot minute, but I just finished reading I Will Follow Him earlier and hadn't had a chance to comment when a friend brought the nonsense anon tumblr drama to my attention. Anyway, I'll just say you handled it much more gracefully than I ever would (and probably have in the past, lmao). And I know you have a thick skin and this isn't something that would make you stop writing, but I still just wanted to let you know that I've missed your writing. I don't know if it's just in my head, but having been around the fandom for roughly the same amount of time as you have, I've discerned patterns in terms of the way people write and even what they respond to as readers, and the cliques that get formed around those things, so that to me it feels like even the fic itself generally has eras of writing styles? Like in my head I kind of cluster people together who seem simpatico in regards to the way they write IxM, but also how they express themselves and the way stories flow, whether there's depth of emotion or not, etc, etc. Anyway, for whatever reason, true or psychological, I find myself missing an era of fic that feels gone now. Not to say that there isn't any good writing anymore, just that it's simply a different vibe. So your new fic really brought me back to that old feeling. You always defy expectations when you adapt something into your own thing, so right off the bat I was pleasantly surprised that you, knowing Johnny Castle was not a completely accurate fit for Mickey because dancing/performing and also being a big man whore with the ladies (lmao), decided to subvert that and make him someone else. And Ian was Baby, but also not. My favorite thing though is the unspoken way you really showed Ian not feeling like he belongs anywhere. He has two families and none of them feel like home. I've felt that way my whole life and it's an emotional theme that's always been highly relevant. Makes you feel like there's nowhere you actually belong or anyone you really belong with. So I loved that aspect and look forward to it being explored more in the sequel(s). I thought your ending to this part of the story was realistic, even if I teared up and felt the loss. I could imagine a bit of a time jump and them meeting in completely different circumstances down the line. Again, totally unexpected that you wouldn't even include the big dance at the end, but fucking bravo honestly, because I couldn't picture some cheesy shit where Mickey dances with Ian in front of everyone for shock value and do the lift. Lolololllll... but yeah... do people honestly think Baby & Johnny lived happy ever after once the credits rolled on the actual movie anyway??? No way in hell. Lol. They were too different in ways that couldn't be overcome back then, sorry. He was meant to be her sexual/romantic awakening, and she went on to have a freer life. That's what I think. Ian & Mickey have a lot more in common, and although they have obstacles to overcome, they ultimately will be able to understand each other, and I think, get on the same page eventually. So please, think no more of any hate-adjacent crap you got or will get for this, because you'll always have a willing audience here, and we enjoy your voice so much. 💜

Hey my friend! It sure has been a hot minute, and this is so interesting! I hadn't even really thought about it, but I think you're on to something here. I haven't really read IxM fic in a good while and I kind of just figured that it was all on me because I have changed over the years, but it makes so much sense that the fic culture would change too. The characters are different, the tone is different, the fandom is different... it stands to reason that the fic is different too. I remember how fascinated I used to be with finding demarcations of time in fic, going back chronologically through the tag on AO3. Season 1 fic felt one way, season 2 a whole other way, etc. I suppose we're yet another ring in the ever growing oak tree of this fandom, lol. We're vintage, baby! You want some of those season 5 vibes? You know where to go, these angsty oldies over here writing increasingly absurd AU in 2021, they got what you need.

All of this means so much to me, you have no idea, especially knowing some of these ideas resonated with you personally like that. I've been thinking about this dang AU for several years at this point and I'm a little bit frustrated that I didn't find a way to give the actual writing of it the time it deserved, but I guess I gave it all the time I had, in the end. So that's something. I hope to muster some enthusiasm to go back and perhaps edit it a bit more soon, or at least start working on the sequels. I was traveling with my dad last weekend and I played some of my playlists for him, telling him about all my silly research and plans, and I now have three books about Soul in the late 60s to read. So you know the next part is gonna be real approachable! 😆

I think I somehow imagined that everybody knows and loves Dirty Dancing, too? I never talked to anyone about it when I was a kid, and it's only really the last four years or so that I have started meeting people who love it, like me. And turns out it's all my friends from primary school! It's all of my coworkers (at least the women), and it's so many of my tumblr mutuals... I was halfway convinced that every single person around me was just waiting to reveal themselves as another fan. Not so much, turns out! Writing a 60s dirty dancing AU is really weird, honestly! I expected two people to read my MiB AU, and I should have had the same expectations for this one. Because that's fine! I will write what I want to write and people will read what they want to read, as it should be.

Most importantly, though. I couldn't agree more with your Dirty Dancing analysis! To me, the dancing isn't the actual ending. To me, the ending is "guess we surprised everybody" and "I'll never be sorry" and "neither will I". The dance number is just a good note Johnny comes back to end it all on, but really, the honest final note is that "I'll see ya" *saxophone solo intensifies*. I just think it's so very bittersweet and good, and I only loved the movie more when I realised this. With Ian, everything became more complicated. Clayton is no Dr Houseman, and there can be no cheesy onstage dancing, and Ian has barely had time to wrap his head around the idea of having a future at all, being himself, let alone spending it with someone he just met. The Dirty Dancing AU needed to end this way for it to truly be a Dirty Dancing AU, in my mind. The next part will be something entirely different, and operate under a different set of narrative rules... Oooh well, look at me. I'm all excited about it. I can't wait to write it!

Thank you 💜💜

[aion-rsa]

The Top 15 Most Shameless Moments

https://ift.tt/36jDT0X

If you missed Shameless last year, there is no reason to worry. A cast member or two will be ready at the top of Dec. 6’s premiere to curse you for being the spoiled suburban princess that you are.

But as enjoyable as every season of irrepressible Gallagher behavior can be, there’s little denying that each year features something so Shameless that it dwarfs the rest of the bad behavior that came before it. These are moments that are so crass in their unapologetic depravity that they transcend being more broken furniture on the South Side, and instead become a true work of Gallagher (or Milkovich) art. There are quite a few of these Gallagher-ups, but we’ve boiled it down to the 15 essentials ahead of the final season.

15. The Time When Karen Jackson Finally Became “Daddy’s Girl”….

Karen is a very difficult character to like. While undoubtedly sympathetic because of her upbringing at the hands of a Catholic hypocrite and a love-smothering agoraphobe, she is also a girl who messed with Lip’s head three-ways to Sunday and would rather feed her special needs kid to the system than let her mother raise him.

However, her earliest sign of wrathful vengeance is also one that is totally justified, and a subversively hilarious bit from Season 1. When her dad slut shames her in front of the local church community after she confesses to her (admittedly many) lustful sins, she gets back at him and then some. She dyes her hair, she gets facial piercings… and she seduces (or rapes) a very drunk, defenseless Frank Gallagher before sending daddy the viral video at work.

It is sick, underhanded, and somehow a completely cathartic moment of television. Frank’s inebriated actions with the 16-year-old daughter of his girlfriend on the other hand… At least, Karen finally reconciled with her dad when she defecated on his tombstone.

14. The Time When Hurricane Monica Swept up Baby Liam….

Looking back, there are a lot of instances where tiny baby Liam was used as a prop for mean-spirited Shameless writing. Yet one of the cruelest abuses came at the hand of his own mother. All of season 1 felt like Fiona, Lip, and Ian trying to keep their heads above water with their younger, more innocent siblings watching as helplessly as their drunken, deadbeat dad. It ultimately raised the question: where is their mother and why is she gone?

Read more

TV

Shameless Showrunner Talks Life After Emmy Rossum… and William H. Macy?

By David Crow

TV

Why Shameless’ Frank Gallagher Is The Nastiest Protagonist On TV…And Possibly The Best

By David Crow

Well, after two hours with Hurricane Monica, every viewer knew that it’d have been better if she had never returned. At first, Monica is always smiles and lollipops for the kids she abandoned, even more thoroughly than Frank who at least wanders past the old homestead for drug money every couple of weeks.

However, she makes her intentions clear when she attempts to take Liam as her only child to be raised with the new lesbian truck driving “love of her life.” It is a quiet admission that she screwed up royally raising her other kids, so she’d rather just start from scratch with Liam, a new life to destroy while ignoring the rest of the blood of her blood. It is a horrifically callous thing to do to one’s own kids, and probably a fate even more horrible for Liam, who despite his troubles in Season 4, never ended up in the crack den that Monica would.

13. Hurricane Monica Attempts Suicide for Thanksgiving

A sadder moment of shamelessness, this, Monica upsets what was an otherwise happy Thanksgiving at the end of season 2. While no turkey had been carved, there was plenty of bald eagle (courtesy of Carl), and good cheer going around between the whole clan, including a reunited Fionna and Simmy (Steve/Jimmy).

It does not last though when Monica, suffering another bout of depression due to her Bipolar disorder, goes into the kitchen and decides to carve her own arm. There is something definitely depressing about her not being able to handle moments of happiness. But it’s also dispiriting the whole family can’t even have a Thanksgiving without at least one Gallagher going to the hospital. Happy holidays, folks.

12. The Time When Frank Traded Liam In For a Gambling Debt…

This could just be a list of Frank’s 15 most shameless moments, because here is a man who never met a good decision that he didn’t puke at the sight of before running in the other direction with a cackle. In truth though, it wasn’t entirely Frank’s fault that Liam became leverage for his gambling debt after he challenged (with more than a hint of racism) a fellow Alibi bar patron that he couldn’t stay conscious through two taser blasts (spoiler alert: he did). So Frank took Liam without permission from his more responsible kids as a panhandling prop to gather the $10,000 due.

And when the drug dealing shark came to collect, and then kidnapped his son as collateral, Frank not only ignored them taking Liam but shrugged it off without telling Fiona, Lip, or anyone that could take responsibility. Nope, Frank just shrugged off his son’s kidnapping, proving once again that he is God’s perfect asshole.

11. The Time When Fiona Slept with Her Boyfriend/Boss’s Brother…Twice (or more)…

Emmy Rosusm‘s Fiona committed spectacular career and relationship suicide when she let lovably bland Mike’s older, drug-addicted brother tap into her own addiction for sex with complete morons. Robbie is the kind of guy who will do cocaine tomorrow and, well past 30, ask his parents to flip for his spa rehab treatment tomorrow. In short he’s the perfect target for Fi to blow things with Mr. Vanilla, who wanted to do stuff like take her out to dinner for her birthday or have a phone chat every night.

Mike isn’t for Fiona, but talk about throwing the race to get past the poverty line right at the photo finish. When Robbie calls Fi an addict for sex, excitement, and all other momentary vices, she begrudgingly believes him. Sadly, it sets up a far less characteristic screw-up involving cocaine and Liam that is less shameless and more tragic…

10. The Time When the Milkoviches Dug a Grave in the Mary Kay Letourneau Stand-In’s Front Yard…

That is one way to get rid of the competition! When Lip Gallagher discovered that a child predator lived in the neighborhood, he set up one of Shameless’ best gags by gathering an eclectic posse of otherwise isolated factions to kick this guy’s ass. Except it wasn’t a guy, it was a hot 20-something blonde teacher who likes them young. Real young. Lip still wanted her ass, but in a very different way. After erstwhile-girlfriend Mandy Milkovich figures out what’s going on, she gathers Mickey and her other brothers to handle things the Milkovich way—a style far beyond those Gallaghers pansies.

When Miss Thing opens her door one chilly evening, she meets a chipper Mandy, smiling as the big bros are four feet deep in a freshly dug hole in the garden. Mandy gives her a choice: she can pack all the things she can in the next 15 minutes and go, or wait for the Milkoviches to reach the magic number of six feet and go in the hole. As Mandy grins at one less predator in Chicago fleeing into the midnight darkness, anyone could tell that Mandy was more than a little disappointed she couldn’t fill the hole with more than a threat; luckily, her brothers had some other poor faceless schmo ready to go. Never waste a perfectly good grave, especially in soil that soft!

9. The Time Debbie Gallagher Got Pregnant to Keep a Guy

Debbie Gallagher had a rough childhood. Fiona did her best as the older sister trying to also play den mother, but she really couldn’t give Debbie the type of attention she needed, or the family life she craved. And crave it, she did. So much so that when she became a teenager and faced the prospect of a life outside the Gallagher house, she decided she might make one of her own, immediately, especially if it could “trap” a guy.

So in season 5, she makes the conscious choice to lie about “being on the pill” when she has sex with Derek at the age of 16. And upon getting pregnant, she thinks she will be able to keep the boy and have Fiona to help raise it while she finishes school. Instead Fi tries to force her into an abortion, which is its own thorny issue, but then so is Debs keeping the baby she thinks will earn her the family life she always craved. Instead Franny puts her on the path of dropping out of high school and having a responsibility she just as often tries to shirk as take seriously.

8. The Time When Debbie Saved the House…by Accusing Cousin Patrick of Molestation

Oh, they grow up so fast, don’t they? When the series started Debs was the loving younger Gallagher sister who only wanted Frank to spend more time in the house, and maybe to have a Great Aunt Ginger around to bake them cookies (more on her later). But like her older siblings, she has to grow up eventually. For this family that means realizing that:

a) Frank is useless piece of shit.

b) Monica’s probably worse as the emotional hand grenade with the pin always falling out.

c) The only way the Gallaghers will ever get ahead is if someone else is going down hard.

Luckily, she learned that last bit at the exact right moment when she almost sent Cousin Patrick away for probably 10 to 15. Patrick had proven to be as big a Gallagher as the rest of the family when he wrote his cousins’ house in his name on a forged will that supposedly belonged to Great Aunt Ginger. So when the body was finally exhumed and the last social security check had been cashed, he was ready to evict his own cousins to make a little extra on the side. But when Debbie discovered her voice in front of the evicting cops, it seemed like Cousin Patrick also wanted a little more on the side. The kind of side that would end with a shiv tip in prison.

When faced with those kind of charges, the Gallaghers kept their house with a diminished rent check of only a few hundred dollars a month, and Debbie earned her first ounce of seniority respect as a force to be reckoned with from Fiona and Lip. It was only the beginning.

7. The Time Frank Tries to Ruin Fiona’s Wedding/His Kids… Try to Kill Him?

Technically what Frank Gallagher did on the day of his daughter’s wedding saved her a lot of pain. He’d discovered her husband-to-be Sean (Dermott Mulroney) was an addict who’d relapsed and was still going to marry her. She was entering a marriage under false pretenses, and Frank would in his own way stop the heartache. Of course that isn’t why Frank did it. He was simply pissed and snotty about his daughter refusing to let him give her away.

So he spied on Sean looking for anything he could latch onto would ruin Fiona’s big day. And boy did he found it. He intervened not as a concerned father but as a vengeful bratty child who wanted to inflict the maximum amount of embarrassment and shame on his daughter. And that he did, humiliating her in front of all their friends and family.

Ergo his children tried something they’d never attempted before: Throwing papa from a bridge. Did they think the fall would kill him? They certainly had to be aware it was a possibility, particularly on a cold Chicago morning. Frankly, my dear, I don’t think they gave a damn. Pity he survived.

6. The Time When Sheila is coaxed into Killing Frank’s Mother…

Death is part of the circle of life. And if that life is as rotten as Gammy Gallagher’s was, then we might be ready to close that circle early. Unlike her kicking and screaming son in Season 4, Grammy not only welcomed a shuffle off this mortal coil, she longed for it. And she found the perfect instrument to end her cancerous suffering in the guise of Sheila Jackson, the sweetly endearing neighborhood fool.

Sure, Grammy and Sheila got off to a rough start with accusations of one being a crude, rude, monster mother, and the other being a homebody vampire, but the two found an understanding when Sheila became Grammy’s nurse in Frank’s absence.

Grammy even convinced Sheila that part of those nursing duties included kindly smothering her into the afterlife. That is one way to make an exit, and Sheila actually thinks she is doing God’s work! It is a moment that is equal parts tender, horrifying, and laughable. In short, it is pure Shameless.

5. The Time When the Gallaghers Kidnap “Aunt Ginger” From Veronica’s Nursing Home…

The good thing about Alzheimer’s patients is they can keep some damn big secrets: like being kidnapped or dressed as a long dead Ginger Gallagher. To rewind for a moment, Great Aunt Ginger was one of the hardest working Gallaghers the family has ever known. She practically turned her preferred street corner into her own place of kneeling. But by the time she died, she had reached the golden age of Social Security checks.

So without telling anyone, Frank Gallagher buried her in the backyard and collected her SS money for over a decade. Now whether he told everyone else that she moved to Michigan because he knew her passing would break their hearts or because he wanted to keep the money for his booze is a mystery left completely solved by common sense. Nevertheless, when the federal government finally caught on something fishy was happening, the beans are spilled and the Gallaghers have to scramble to find a new “Great Aunt Ginger” or face child services.

Enter New Great Aunt Ginger, compliments of Veronica’s nursing home for the severely forgetful. It is hard to tell what is sadder, that the day the Gallaghers spend taking “holiday” pictures for a lifetime with the new Ginger went by as a real day of family activity for the confused woman… or that this was the first time Debbie felt like she had a maternal figure to latch onto. It is a twisted warm and fuzzy resolution to this early, infamous Shameless supblot.

4. The Time When Mandy Facilitated Karen’s “Accident”….

For the Milkovich family, nothing says love like an attempted murder. So Mandy must have really loved Lip, because she did it twice. The first time was a (possibly) idle threat to the inappropriate teacher, but there was nothing idle about Mandy’s methodical destruction of Karen’s life.

To be clear, Karen is not a good person. In the scene leading up to her accident, Sheila takes responsibility for her daughter turning out as such a repugnant human being, and the pain of the sequence is that there is some truth in it. But whatever Karen or Sheila’s failings, it does not excuse what comes next.

Karen receives a text from Lip, promising to make amends for the mean things he last said to her if she meets him in the park. But instead of finding Lip’s proverbial mouth, she ends up kissing an SUV’s metallic grill when it plows into her going at least 40 mph. Sure, Karen lives, but she is now as mentally gone as her special needs child, Hymie.

Mentally handicapped for life, Karen’s story is done, ending in a way more broken than any Gallagher’s has so far experienced. What Mandy did is incredibly evil: stealing a phone and setting a trap that she had hours to contemplate. Karen was bad for Lip, but Mandy did something rare even for a show like Shameless: she crossed a line.

3. Frank Calls DCFS on His Kids

Another line was crossed in the third season, and it revealed the true awfulness of Frank’s parenting skills. To be fair, we’d known about “Father” Frank since he punched Ian in the face in the series premiere. Plus, there is that time he used Liam as collateral listed above. However, at least the latter moment was written with a tongue-in-cheek, as the show never doubted Fiona and Lip would get the lad back.

What was done without an ounce of humor is the time Frank threw a pity party for himself and then called DCFS on his own kids. Why? Because they kicked him out of the house after he acted the belligerent drunk for the millionth time. So, nursing his wounds at the Alibi, he decides to show the ingrates by calling Child Services on them, revealing his kin are living without parental supervision. The act of pathetic revenge nearly loses all of Frank’s children to the foster care system, with Fiona spends the whole season fighting desperately to keep the kids… and consigning her future to the trash heap as a result.

Frank should’ve gone off that bridge much sooner.

2. The Time When Frank Pretends to Be a Boyfriend to His Estranged Daughter…

When diagnosed with cancer, most people would do anything to survive the harrowing fight. But Frank isn’t most people, as he does them all one better: he tracks down his eldest daughter, who he has never met before, and pretends to be a straight-edged Good Samaritan looking for a date. Clearly Sammi has daddy issues when she looks at Frank as a suitor and is willing to give him a slice of her liver after two dates.

To Frank’s credit, he never seems into kissing his daughter, making out with his daughter, seeing his daughter in her underwear, or apparently grinding on his daughter off-screen. But he still does it all. It is quite honestly one of the most disgusting, deplorable, and instantly iconic Frank storylines in all of Shameless. Miraculously, Sammi stays by Frank’s side as a daughter when the truth comes flooding out. Some viewers may condemn her, but how many of us still watch after seeing the other crap he’s gotten up to? In fact, this isn’t even his most outrageous medical scam…

1. The Time When Frank Lied About Dottie’s Transplant and then Broke Her Heart…

Yes, the most lowdown, brazen, and high-handed action came early in season 2 in a moment that feels like it was (almost) paid back by the universe’s karma in season 4. It’s the time when Frank knew about Dottie’s heart transplant… and then still banged her to death. Literally. Frank found out that “butterface” Dottie, the Alibi’s former good-time girl who worked for the city, is quickly dying and is in need of a heart transplant. The likelihood of her surviving this is so low that Frank is willing to marry her and knowingly “light a candle for you everyday.”

What he really wants is to be placed in her will for all that government pension money. He doesn’t even have to sleep with her, because the act of making love will kill her barely-operating heart. So when bride-to-be Dottie is in the shower, Frank is the only one to hear her get the call: she has won the medical lottery and is going to get a heart transplant! Except, she’s already dead. At least that is what Frank tells the hospital before hanging up.

And it was all for naught. Dottie ended up giving her money to the estranged adult daughter she barely knew, leaving Frank with nothing. Frank’s only consolation prize is that she is sick of waiting for a heart that will never come (Frank made sure of that), and she requests that he screws the life out of her, which he does with aplomb.

He didn’t let her know about a heart transplant for money that he’d never see, and he still sleeps with her, knowing full well that this will be how she dies. Frank killed Dottie and won’t even light a candle at the church without stealing some donation money. It does not get more Shameless than that.

Editor’s Note: The original version of this article was published on January 11, 2015.

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The post The Top 15 Most Shameless Moments appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[koganphrancis]

New Episode, New Ian

What they showed:

What we all thought of:

and that made the ending of last night’s episode fraught with emotion (as did Cam’s acting), and I was sort of freaked out by events until about an hour after the show when I saw the full scene in the church from the next episode-and now I’m back to thinking Shameless is just continuing their same old bullshit.  

Weekly warning: There will be spoilers under the cut, even one for The Walking Dead so if you haven’t seen last week’s mid-season finale of that show-you have been warned.

Another brand new writer this week-I wasn’t impressed.  Last week’s seemed ignorant about sexual orientation, this week’s seems just as uninformed about addiction (and maybe medications to treat bipolar disorder).  

I’ll try to dispense with the other storylines as quickly as possible.  The Kev and Vee stuff doesn’t interest me or amuse me in the least-it’s not my cup of tea anyway, but of course it’s not being well-written and that hurts its chances even more.  This week we saw the twins for a second, but no Yev and no Svetlana.  I guess the thrupple is over again already?

Carl is a waste of screen time this year, in my opinion.  The new love interest is a weird, bitchy sort who screams about the living hell of her teen life-which includes SAT prep, tennis camp, and cruising the Greek islands on “P Diddy’s” yacht.  You’re trying too hard, Shameless, we’d hate this teen bride to be without all the whining.  

Oh, we also find out Carl is also 16 this week-so, either Debbie’s twin or another set of (heretofore unmentioned) Irish twins.  

Frank is a total waste of time too, except one interesting line-he tells a stranger in line at a job fair he has “five kids”, so I guess he really doesn’t count Ian as his own.  

It’s Liam’s last day of school?  But Carl’s just weeks away from going back to school?  I know the time line has never made sense, but wtf?  

Also Fiona flat out states she’s 28 in this episode-what’s with the new writers establishing ages all of the sudden?

Debbie should’ve gotten fired in her first scene at work, but doesn’t, but self-sabotages the job later (in typically “hilarious” aka unfunny Shameless fashion), and from an Emmy tweet I guess the audience is supposed to think she stood up for herself but all I could think was, “Good luck getting another job where they let you bring your baby to work in a pet carrier.”  Of course Debbie IS a Gallagher and this IS Shameless, so by next week she’ll probably have some high paying steady job with in-house daycare and a retirement plan...

Snore got to have a couple of lines this week-setting up her still in the future storyline.  Lip asks her if she’s ok when she seems distracted/down in the dumps/who tf knows what she was going for, and she answers, “Sorry, just stuff.”  Lip says, “You wanna talk about it?” and she says, “Naw, it’s fucked up.”  Ian will have a similarly cryptic scene at the end of the show-suddenly they want us to think storylines continue from week to week?  

We meet Fiona’s new fella-the only thing remotely interesting about him is his Irish accent.  Nessa’s got her weekly “I’m never at work, I’m always free to hang with Fiona” scene too, in which Fiona says Ian has a “history of psycho behavior” so fuck you, New Writer.  (Fiona also has a history-of child endangerment and neglect-so she should put those stones away while she’s living in that glass house.)  

Lip had another week where I just can’t invest in what he’s got going on.  Why is Lip, the alcoholic adult child of an alcoholic so disillusioned and shocked by Youens’ downfall?  Why are they writing him so naive?  Lip is supposed to be smart, plus he’s watched Frank his entire life-we’re supposed to believe that he was gobsmacked by Youens getting drunk during an hour break at the courthouse?  Wouldn’t that be Frank to a T?  You remember Lip’s dad, don’t you?  The guy who when he couldn’t get booze down this throat used an eye dropper to get alcohol into his blood stream thru his eyes?  They have Brad say to Lip that with Youens’ record, if it was anyone else, Lip would say he belongs in jail after his fifth DUI-which rings true.  If it were Frank in the same position, Lip would be testifying against him!  Anyway, the big farewell scene at the prison, the writer to me showed little to zero sympathy (or maybe even awareness?) that alcoholism is a disease.  Instead of giving Youens a speech like Ian got to keep his EMT job, Youens tells Lip he’s “a drunk”.  Don’t any of these people watch Mom on CBS?  And I’m not being flippant-my uncle (my mother’s brother) was an alcoholic and I don’t think he had a drink during my entire lifetime (he was working on his sobriety by the time I was born), but I know he did struggle every day, he wanted a drink every day of his life.  The show keeps acting like there’s just some magic hump Lip needs to get over and then he won’t want/need to drink and it just doesn’t work that way.  That’s why the program says “one day at a time”-Lip can’t keep waiting for some magic moment one day down the road where he’ll be “cured” and never want another drink.  Lip did his 28 days, he’s been going to meetings, he should know this.  The writers definitely should know it, but they don’t treat alcoholism like a disease at all-I don’t get it and I don’t think the storyline is great.  Lip hasn’t seemed to learn anything from any of the father figures in his life.  Also?  I strongly suspect that now that Youens is “put away” and Brad’s too overwhelmed to be a sponsor,  they’ll show Lip searching for a new sponsor next week, but after that he’s going to be Snore’s rock when Terry-oops, I mean her father-gets out of prison and all of Lip’s drinking issues WILL have magically been handled to free him up to be her hero.

Now on to the only reason I keep watching this mess of a show.  When we first see Ian this week, it’s in a very OOC scene of him throwing not one but two buckets of icy water on Fiona in bed.  Really?  You expect me to invoke a suspension of disbelief so strong that it believes that A: Ian would ever do such a thing, and B: (since we find out he’s been doing it for a week) that Fiona’s mattress isn’t completely ruined?  Fuck you, Shameless.  And between “joking” about killing her and now this act of aggression, I’m really getting sick of how they’re writing Ian-he’s never been like that.  

Speaking of character traits-next we see Jerome spelling out MANIAX on the sidewa...Oops, sorry, Ian’s egging Fiona’s building and writing out his explanation of where “Cuntlord” came from as a mash up on the sidewalk in spraypaint.  He’s also got the kids from the shelter with him and they’re setting up a tent city on the conveniently empty lot next to Fi’s apartments.  Terror is...there.  Standing there.  Being useless.  Ian gets in Fiona’s face, says he wants her to “smell their shit”-oh, Shameless, you’re making it too easy-the whole show smells like shit.  Terror tries to tell Ian it sounds like a family issue, that Ian shouldn’t be using “Terror’s kids” (I cringe every time he shouts “my kids” at Ian).  Ian’s got a bullhorn, they chant some obscenities (as if Fiona’s tenants and other people in the neighborhood wouldn’t call the cops about THAT)...you can just see the wheels turning, that Shameless is trying to be shameless again, but it ain’t working.  Anyway, Terror stands there trying to look worried (it comes off more as constipated) as Ian marches off around the building with the kids.  If we’re supposed to think he’s like Mickey worrying about Ian as he was losing control, it’s not working.  

As soon as Ian leaves for work, Fiona buys all the kids off with free pizza and twenty bucks-and even the girl crushing on Ian has her price and is the last to leave.  I bet that’s the last we’ll see of the “kids”.  Fiona also pulls a totally cunty move and has all the kids’ stuff removed by a clean up crew.  It would’ve killed them to write a line where she says, “Bring it back to the Youth Center but tell someone in charge there that if they set up again, I’m throwing it out.”?  

When Ian gets back to the lot after work, he and Terror are looking on the scene and they start to pick up some stuff Fiona’s crew missed.  Fi is trying to talk to Ian, to apologize and put it behind them, but Ian’s ignoring her.  She says that Margo has another building and that she’s willing to lease it and waive the first and last month’s rent deposit, Ian says they’re not interested in charity.  Terror speaks up and Ian barks at him, and then Fiona asks Ian if he’s off his meds.  That only makes Ian madder, but she tries again, asks, “are you taking them?”  Ian is livid now, he informs Fiona that yes, he is taking them and that he’s “fucking angry” and is she going to suspect he’s off his meds for the rest of his life when he gets angry and that he’s allowed to be “angry at bitch assholes when they’re being fucking bitch assholes,” and then he stomps off, obviously upset and hurting and Terror stays with Fi just like he stayed with Monica when Ian was hurt and upset by her-because Terror never validates Ian’s feelings and is TOXIC.  Fi doesn’t go after Ian either, and tells Terror to go look at the building for the youths.  She doesn’t say the offer is time sensitive though, ffs.  

Ian doesn’t get home till it’s full dark out-where was he all afternoon and during the early evening?  At the time I was hoping Mickey’s abandoned building rooftop, but you know that’s just dumb of me.  

Terror is waiting on the front stairs of Ian’s house.  Ian doesn’t look pleased to see him.  First thing out of Terror’s mouth: “I went to look at that place on Ashland.”  (No “Hi”, no “Are you ok?”, no “Do you want to talk?”)  Ian says, “You what?” clearly pissed off.  “It’s got good bones (that’s the 2nd time in the episode they use that real estate buzz phrase-Fiona described the building to them thusly-it sounded out of place both times).  I signed a lease.”  Hold the phone-I’m really going to need to see a printed out job description for Terror’s position at the youth center ASAP.  He has the authority to sign binding legal/rental documents for the place?  He doesn’t even have a valid ID!!!  But I digress.  Ian’s response is, “Fuck, Trev.”  He just sounds exhausted.  Terror says, “She’s right about you not being yourself lately.  (Dafuq?  You’ve known him all of ten months maybe?  And you’ve NEVER let him talk/express himself?  What do you know about Ian being “himself”, asshole?)  This isn’t the mountain you’re making it to be.  Are you taking care of yourself?”  Is he asking if Ian’s having anonymous sex with randos who worship him?  WTF is Terror’s definition of Ian taking care of himself?  Ian answers, pausing between each word, “Yes.  I am taking my fucking meds.  Now get off my porch, dick.”  Terror literally steps in front of him and gets right in his face (since he’s standing a step or two up the stairs) and says, “It is my job to do what is best for those kids and that place on Ashland will make their lives a little bit better.”  So?  THAT’S the appropriate response to whatever Ian is going through?  ANOTHER goddamn lecture about Terror and what Terror does?  Like I said, Fiona didn’t say, “Rush right down there, this offer is only on the table for the next few hours.”  Terror’s all about what he has to do for those kids in need while the guy he claimed he “really loved” is in a world of goddamn hurt?  Leaving Mickey out of it all together, Terror still comes off as an uncaring, self-centered asshole.  Terror doesn’t care about Ian, it’s so clear in this (and many other) scenes.  Why does Shameless keep forcing this on us?  All Terror has been saying the last few episodes while Ian has been trying to help the kids is that Ian’s doing it wrong, and that they are Terror’s kids.  Even bringing up his job like that-if he wanted to make the point to Ian that he’s been trained to help them and Ian hasn’t-why not say THAT instead of going from, “Your sister’s right, are you taking care of yourself?” to pounding his chest and crowing about “his job”?  He’s the one that let Ian in to help the kids, now all he ever does is act like Ian’s not good enough at it.  

The last scene is Ian in his bed.  Fiona comes in to talk to him, they both say they’re done fighting.  Ian oddly says, “I shouldn’t have wasted my time on that bullshit.  Not when there are larger concerns to consider.”  Fiona asks, “Larger concerns like what?”  He takes a breath like he’s about to answer, pauses,she gives him a searching worried af look, then he just changes the topic, “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?  I was almost asleep in here.”  Instead of saying something like, “I’m your sister, you know you can tell me anything, I want to know,” she just says, “Night, Ian,” gets up, walks to the door, pauses, says, “I love you, you know.”  Close up of Cam’s face, another pause, he finally says, “You too.”  She leaves, there’s another close up of him-his eyes move from the door to staring at nothing.  

So, when I was watching it live, that scene totally freaked me out.  He seemed like he had something bad to tell her, but just couldn’t yet.  I WANT to believe this is all leading to him mourning and missing and not coping about Mickey, but this stupid show never wants to remember Mickey and sure as hell doesn’t want to act like he ever meant anything to Ian but a puppy love Ian outgrew.  So I doubt that’s where they’re going.  I also don’t think it has anything to do with Monica because the show feels like they’ve “done�� that story and it’s over.  I was wracking my brain about what Ian’s larger concerns could be referring to, and upset that we’re going to have to wait two weeks to even begin to find out.  Because another possibility is that they’ll never say what the hell he was referring to because that’s what this show is now-brand new every week.  There’s still no fall out from him going into the old couple’s house-was that just a throwaway joke?  That, just like Kev dancing at the Fairy Tail, Ian would do anything for that money?  

On The Walking Dead’s mid-season finale it was revealed that Carl had been bit by a walker in an earlier episode and that’s what this bed scene was reminding me of-that Ian had something really awful and life-altering happen, but he just can’t bring himself to tell anyone yet.  

Anyway, thoughts were spinning around in my head, and then I saw this:  https://youtu.be/ZiFnSVqu1D4   and it was a cold dose of reality, just like those buckets of water falling on Fiona’s head: by the next episode all will be fine.  Ian’s found a new passion project, Terror is on board, holding his Bible for him and supporting his man, even if he does claim to be Ian’s ex-Ian’s quick to “reassure” us that they’ll start banging again soon.  That ugly smile on Terror’s face made me want to cry.  

Now I’m thinking that maybe all “larger concerns” is gonna turn out to be that one of the youths told Ian off camera about the gay conversion program at that church-or that maybe instead of being on Mickey’s rooftop Ian was wandering around the city and saw a flyer or a poster for it.  So when he’s talking to Fiona he’s already moved on from topics of real estate and his contemplating taking on organized religion.  Because this show is that badly written nowadays.  True loyal fans keep remembering how the show was back in the day and could read a lot into the emotions played by Emmy and Cam in that final scene and were naturally worried that something personal is going on with Ian, but it probably is just him setting off on the path of becoming a zealot with a new cause with much-or all-of the reasoning happening off the page and off screen.  LAME.  

They could’ve so easily set this storyline up over time-Ian gets back from leaving Mickey to find not only has he lost the love of his life, but also his mother, his one sympathetic source when it comes to the lifelong condition he still doesn’t have a handle on, it would’ve been the most natural thing in the world for him to look to religion for answers.  But no, we had him chase after Terror like he’s Ian’s only relationship option, and in the next episode he’s got a Bible with dozens of post-it tabs marking the pertinent passages he needs to take on a pastor instead.  Somewhere between telling Fiona he was almost asleep and the next episode he’ll have read and highlighted the entire Bible and quasi-broken up with Terror with the promise that they’ll get together again soon.  Because they can’t make Terror and Ian just friends.  They’re really going to make us suffer thru this on again, off again tedious bullshit?  Why?  

One more note on how much they let happen that we don’t get to see: WHEN DID TERROR FIND OUT IAN HAS BIPOLAR DISORDER?  Was it when Fiona was asking Ian about his meds?  Was it long ago?  Was it before or after Ian ran off with Mickey?  WHEN?  First they just spring it on us that Terror apparently knows all about Ian being a teen prostitute (which the audience still doesn’t even really know about-all we got was retconning because the last we knew, Ian told the porn producer he couldn’t turn tricks at the club), now this?  They waste so much time on scenes that go nowhere and that don’t advance the story at all-they can’t give us a little bit of Ian actually talking to the guy he’s screwing?  Hell, they don’t even give us scenes of them screwing....

[wellimhavinga3outof10day]

Lost Lullabies - Chapter Eleven

Description: Mickey Milkovich, former child star turned action movie star, runs into his old co-star, Ian Gallagher, out on the street in the middle of a winter night. When Mickey takes him in, he doesn’t realize that Ian has the power to completely turn his new life upside down.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Read on AO3

Mickey woke to two texts from Ian. The first was innocent enough and he brushed it off. He’d done everything for that no-good, ungrateful, charity case. A simple apology wasn’t going to be enough to push him right over the edge and into lala land again. But Mickey felt his heart start to pound as he read the second text. His fingers wavered over the letters to text back, to ask what was wrong, what had happened. He had the sudden, flashing image of Ian in the hospital, blood everywhere, the Gallagher bath tub stained red...

           Before he could form the words to reply or even decide to simply call Fiona instead, his phone started ringing in his hands. His agent. He picked up with a sigh and said, “What? I didn’t miss a coffee date this morning, did I?”

           “No, but I thought you’d like to know that Mr. Manning wants to meet with you again.”

           “Tell him to fuck off. I’m not doing his stupid movie.”

           “He says he has new information that might change your mind.”

           Mickey highly doubted that, but he did owe the man his career. If he was going to reject him again, the least he could do was let him take him out again. “Fine,” he said. “When’s he want to meet?”

           “Lunch. At one.”

           “Whatever.” Mickey hung up the phone and pulled himself out of bed. He shot a quick text to Ian – tell me you’re alive – and then jumped into the shower. Warm water flowed over him, relaxed the tense muscles of his body. He took his time – lunch was now the first thing on his schedule for the day, since it was supposed to be his day off – and hummed under his breath. He only got out when he heard his phone buzz.

           Alive, Ian said. Thought I told you to call?

           Texted to make sure you’re alive. Not to accept your apology, jackass.

           Fine, see you later.

           Mickey scrunched up his face. He wanted to text back asking what that meant – did Ian want to come by the apartment to drop off his key? – but he thought that might be being a little too friendly. So he tossed his phone down, got dressed, and turned on the TV to sports highlights.

           Mandy called to help him waste his time, but he didn’t tell her anything about the fight with Ian. As far as she was concerned, Ian was already out of his life for good. As far as Mickey was concerned, she wasn’t wrong in believing that. If he never saw that asshole again for as long as he lived – after whatever the hell he’d meant about seeing him again – then he’d live his life happy.

           He went down to wait for his driver at twenty minutes until one. He wasted five minutes playing Buzzfeed quizzes on his phone – including one that was “Which Mickey Milkovich character are you?” – and looked up just as the car arrived. He slid into the back, not paying much attention to the replacement driver or where they were going. He assumed Mr. Manning would pick one of the three restaurants he owned. And he was right.

           They pulled up in front of a restaurant too fancy for lunch, but that only meant they’d be alone if Mickey started yelling. Which, at this point in the negotiations, was completely likely. Mickey got out of the car and pushed through the glass door, told the hostess who he was there to see. She led him along the plush red carpets past mahogany tables towards a booth in the back.

           Mr. Manning rose to his feet as Mickey approached and offered his hand. “Mr. Milkovich. As always, a pleasure to see you.”

           “Mr. Manning.”

           “And you, of course, remember Mr. Gallagher?”

           Mickey looked into the booth, not quite believing his ears. And there Ian was, sitting like the picture of innocence, a bright smile on his face. Mickey curled in his bottom lip and met Mr. Manning’s eyes with a steely glare. “What the fuck,” he said, “is he doing here?”

           Mr. Manning’s prim composure faltered for only a second before he gestured for Mickey to sit down and then sat himself. Mickey stayed standing, arms crossed. Mr. Manning went on, completely unperturbed. “As you know, Mr. Milkovich, we are trying to produce a remake of your old show. Last night, we contacted Mr. Gallagher and he was more than happy to jump on board.”

           “Was he?”

           “Yes. I thought that perhaps, now that he’s with us, that you—”    

           “Last time I saw him, I punched him in the face,” Mickey said. He flickered his gaze towards Ian, waiting for the other man to contradict him, but Ian did nothing other than let his smile fall. Mickey focused on Mr. Manning. “And even if that wasn’t true, you really want a drug addict on the set of your kid’s movie? A gay one at that? You lowering your fucking Christian standards or what?”

           Mr. Manning swallowed uncomfortably. “Mr. Gallagher has agreed to weekly drug testing.”

           Mickey blinked. “And the gay thing? What? All of a sudden it’s not an issue? Because I remember you threatening to fucking fire him when he came out in season three.”

           “Times have changed, Mr. Milkovich.”

           “Cut the bullshit.” Mickey slid into the booth seat across from the two of them. “Tell me what’s really going on here. You bleeding money? There been a sudden upsurge in our DVD sales? Or is there another reason you’re so desperate to get my ass on the set of a TV movie that no one will fucking watch?” Mickey quirked an eyebrow. “You wanna level with me?”

           “You’ve made a name for yourself. We want you back.”

           “I do full frontal nudity and fuck on screen. Is that what you want?”

           Ian smothered a laugh.

           “And you, fuck you,” Mickey said. “What? Is this some kind of twisted revenge plot? Because you’re screwing yourself too. You’ll have to see my fucking face every goddamn day. You think about that?”

           Ian shrugged. “I said sorry.”

           “Well I didn’t fucking accept it, did I?”

           Ian rolled his eyes and then gave Mr. Manning a pointed look. To his credit, he took the hint and excused himself to the bathroom. Ian turned back to Mickey. “Look, you wanna help me, don’t you? And this movie is gonna make me money, gonna keep me clean for a couple of months at least.”

           “Thought you didn’t wanna be my charity case.”

           “I don’t.”

           “Oh, but when some big hotshot exec wants to take care of you, that’s all well and good? Am I just not fucking rich enough for you, you twink?”

           Ian’s smile burst over his face as his foot knocked against Mickey’s under the table. “This is me doing it on my own,” Ian said. “I just need your help to get started.”

           Mickey shifted his foot back. “I don’t fucking get you. You say I’m not ready, that we’re not going to work, and then you go out of your fucking way to get in my face again. Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”

           “We were friends once, Mick. Can’t we do that again?”

           Mickey stared at Ian for a long moment before he shook his head. “No, Ian, we can’t.” He slid out of the booth. “Tell Manning when he comes back that I said fuck you.” Then he turned to leave the restaurant.

           He felt hot and cold as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. For a second, the cold air made it hard for him to breathe and he thought for sure that now he was having a panic attack. But the sensation passed after a minute, he jumped into his car, and went back home.

           Several hours passed where he did nothing but drink spiked hot chocolate and watch more reruns of their show. It occurred to him sometime after he’d finished half a season that the best way to forget Ian Gallagher existed probably wasn’t watching his adolescent face scrunch up as he kissed girls. It was, however, an interesting drinking game to take a sip every time Ian looked like he’d rather get castrated than flirt with the girl standing in front of him.

           He ignored two calls from his agent. If it was important, she would text him or call more frequently than once an hour. However, when she called a third time he picked up with a tired and possibly drunken, “What?”

           “I need you to sign the contracts,” she said.

           Mickey closed his eyes tight. “What contracts?” He couldn’t remember being told he’d gotten any of the parts that he’d auditioned for recently, but maybe he’d blocked it out. He hadn’t exactly liked any of the parts he’d auditioned for.

           “Mr. Manning had them drawn up and faxed over. They need your signature.”

           “What?”

           “For the movie.”

           Mickey resisted the urge to ask what the fuck she was talking about and instead rubbed his eyes. “I’m not doing that.”

           “He said you accepted at lunch today.”

           “I told him to fuck off at lunch.”

           “He got the impression you said everything was good to go. That you’d be happy to be back on set next month.”

           “Next month?” Mickey repeated. They had been trying to sign him for less than three weeks and all of a sudden they were ready to go into production next month? When had they written the script? When had they contacted the other actors they needed? When had they even decided to do a movie instead of TV series? Or did they just have both ready to go, already written, so they could bang out a crappy remake whenever the whim hit them? “It doesn’t fucking matter. I said no.”

           “Then why does he think you said yes?”

           “I don’t fucking know,” Mickey snapped. But he did. If he thought about it for even a second, he knew the exact reason Mr. Manning thought he had said yes to the project. Obviously Ian hadn’t given him the right message. Ian had pulled him into this mess just because he could.

           “I’ll tell him you’re backing out.”

           “No, don’t...” Mickey sighed. He bit his bottom lip, chewed until he tasted blood. He could feel his agent’s impatient silence through the buzzing of the phone line. “How much is he offering?”

           His agent said a number higher than Mickey had gotten on any other movie.

           “Tell him if he offers Ian the same, I’ll do it.”

           “You know Ian’s not at your level.”

           “Too fucking bad. We’re the stars of the show, aren’t we?” Mickey pushed off of the couch and headed into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. “Get his confirmation and I’ll be at your office to sign in half an hour. And send a different fucking driver.”

Mickey didn’t talk to Ian for a month. He ignored his texts and calls for a week and the other man had gotten the hint. Sure, Mickey had gone through with the contract negotiations and the pre-production and read the script without complaining about the bullshit dialogue, but he had refused to be in the same room with Ian until it was absolutely necessary. And that meant that until shooting started, there was no fucking reason he needed to see Ian Gallagher���s stupid fucking face.

           However, that meant that when Mickey woke up the morning of the first day of shooting, he was wholly unprepared to see Ian. He felt like in the last month his life had reverted completely back to normal – fake dating Svetlana, on different sets every day, going to auditions, falling asleep alone and exhausted – but now he was walking back into the room with the bomb. This time though, the countdown was even closer to zero.

           He could have – and almost did – back out of the movie several times. He could have black-balled Ian from the entire industry for pulling shit like that on him. He could have gotten Ian tossed off the movie if he wanted to. Instead, he’d gotten him equal pay and got his bullshit love interest cut from the script and hadn’t complained once about the fact that they were basically remaking Daddy Daycare. He did a lot for Ian, even if he hated the man’s guts.

           Mickey made his breakfast, scarfed it down, and then headed out to catch his ride. If he was ten minutes late, he did it on purpose. Make the half-assed set wait for Mickey Milkovich, the only real star in the place. He didn’t give a fuck what they thought of him. If they thought he was going to be the problem on set, he’d be the fucking problem. It’d be better than Ian being the problem because he couldn’t get clean.

           He gave into his nerves halfway there and called Mandy. She answered on the second ring.

           “You nervous?” she said.

           “Practically pissing myself.”

           She laughed. “Disney’s nothing compared to Warner Brothers. You’ll get through it.”

           “And Ian?”

           “At least he’s not on a set where they’d openly offer you drugs for a better performance,” she said.

           Mickey let out the breath he’d been holding. Mandy was right about that – any other company and he’d have to worry that Ian being clean was just an act for the tabloids. But not Disney. They stopped that shit at the door because their image was way more important to them than their actors. A shit load more important.

           “What are you going to say?” Mandy said. “You know, when interviewers start asking about you and Ian?”

           “Ian’s an old friend. He’s had his problems in the past, but so have I. And I know you’re all worried about the problems we’ve had with each other, but it’s been a long time since then. I’m excited to get back to work with him. He was always a pleasure to have on set and a good friend. I look forward to reconnecting.”

           Mandy snorted. “Who the fuck wrote that?”

           “My publicist. You like it?”

           “What do you say when they bring up Ian’s drug use?”

           “Ian’s been clean for a while now. What he needs is our love and support, not our judgement. I’m happy to say he’s looking better every day and is well on his way to being healthy.”

           “You haven’t even seen him.”

           “That’s not how show business works.” Mickey looked out the window to see how close they were, but it was still a ways to go. “What about you? You back on your feet yet?”

           Mandy made a non-committal noise. He knew she hated to talk about the fact that she’d been replaced – and by someone less famous – but he needed to know she was still all right. She’d never been great at saving money.

           “They’re rebooting Rent off Broadway, so I’m auditioning this afternoon,” Mandy said. “Still waiting to hear back from The Lion King... but I’m good. It’s only been two weeks, right?”

           “Right.” Mickey wanted to say more, to reassure her, to promise everything would be okay, but he didn’t know if he could say it honestly. And he hated lying to Mandy. “Well, break a leg today, okay? And wish me luck on not fucking throttling Ian.”

           Mandy laughed. “You know, if you kill him, the press is going to be all over it. You’ll never hear the end of it. And you’re going to have to face interview after interview after interview where you said you were good friends and looking forward to working with him.”

           “I’ll make it look like an accident.”

           “Good luck.” Mandy made a kiss-y noise. “Try not to get convicted.”

           “Love you too.” Mickey hung up and stared out the window. The Chicago streets flashed by, the buildings getting smaller as they reached an area populated with soundstages. The car slowed down to navigate the maze of buildings until it came up to a gate that had Mickey Mouse emblazoned in the middle of it.

           The driver said who he was dropping off and got directions to the right building in return. Mickey got out at the doors and froze in front of them. He’d be damned. It was the same stage they’d been on nine years ago – maybe some new paint, the number on the side retouched – but the same stage all the same. And that hit him with enough nostalgia that he nearly toppled over. He wasn’t even inside yet.

           He took a deep breath and pushed through the doors. Inside, the stage was just like any other. People bustling everywhere, a lot of white noise, and too many walls, tables, and chairs to properly see anything. He stood there for a moment, just breathing in the smell of the place, feeling at home to be back on a set, any set, after so long away from them.

           Then a small girl appeared in front of him – barely eighteen – and asked his name. She found him on her sheet, checked him off, and started to give him a tour of the stage. She took him past each set and told him the letter marker for each, showed him the green room, the snack room, where the crew’s equipment was, and his dressing room. Then she handed him a schedule for the day, in case he’d forgotten his, and disappeared before he could say a word.

           That had been the easy part. As soon as she was gone, the hard part started. People came over to greet him, hug him, ask him how he was. In his head, he rolled through the list of actors on the movie that his agent had made him memorize. He hugged his old stage mom and dad, laughed when the guy who had been his and Ian’s third friend for three seasons cracked a joke about how no one would even remember who he was, and made small talk with Tabitha who had played his love interest in the last season. He remembered kissing her several times off set as well, doing more than kissing her, and then cutting ties with her as soon as the show was cancelled. But she didn’t seem to hold it against him.

           He didn’t see Ian. No one mentioned Ian. Maybe he should have expected that. Sure, out of all of them, he had made the biggest name for himself, but some of them had careers that were nothing to scoff at. Others hadn’t been in the business since the show stopped, but had kept out of the tabloids. Ian was the only one who had gone bat shit insane. Or, at least, the only one who had done it on camera.

           The longer he went without seeing Ian, the more nervous he got. Maybe Ian was avoiding him. Maybe Ian had broken their “no drugs” rule and gotten kicked from the movie. Would they have told him if that happened? Maybe not. Ian was the only reason he was on the movie, after all.

           He lasted until he was on Set B – his apartment – listening to the director explain the shot to him and Tabitha. Halfway through the speech, he said, “Do you know where Ian is?”

           The director blinked. “He asked to start tomorrow. We’re only shooting scenes without him today.”

           Mickey forced himself to say nothing about that. Instead he nodded and gestured for the director to go on. The scene was supposed to be the first time he’d seen Tabitha’s character since they had a messy break-up four years previously. He tried to focus on the director telling him the emotions he wanted him to convey, but his mind kept wandering to Ian. But he shook it off. He did his job. He’d worry about Ian tomorrow.

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