#Merit Monday
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thelofian · 7 months ago
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Deceiving Daily Booster Table (TTCC DBT) for 2024-04-15 (Week 16), 🚢 Titanic Remembrance Day | 🧾 Tax Day | 👕 National Laundry Day
I'M FINALLY BACK, took a hiatus
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silverfoxstole · 1 year ago
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As it’s getting chillier, this McGann Monday I give you Paul and his scarves: a long-standing love affair.
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sillimancer · 3 months ago
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anyway back to speedrunning my schoolwork so I don't have to worry about it during the friend trip
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esotericalchemist · 20 days ago
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𝐀𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐚 - 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥’𝐬 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 ❁
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The atmakaraka represents the soul’s deepest purpose in this life. Unlike other planets, which shape personality and circumstances, the atmakaraka reveals our core karmic lessons. By examining its rulership for each rising sign, we see how the soul’s path is uniquely expressed through specific areas of life, inviting us to grow and transform. This exploration allows us to understand the qualities we are here to embody, guiding us toward greater fulfillment and spiritual alignment.
Previous Atmakaraka post
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𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
With the Sun as atmakaraka, your soul’s mission is to live with unwavering integrity and inspire others through authentic expression. The Sun rules your 5th house of creativity, intelligence, and purva punya (past-life merit), revealing that your life path often involves teaching or guiding others with wisdom. The soul longs for experiences that help rekindle past-life skills, whether in leadership, the arts, or spirituality. Morning offerings to the Sun, such as water or Surya namaskar, strengthen this inner light, helping you lead with a balanced, benevolent authority.
Moon Atmakaraka:
When the Moon is the atmakaraka, your soul seeks emotional fulfillment and inner stability. Ruling the 4th house of home, roots, and mental peace, this Moon placement calls you to harmonize past family karma and create nurturing environments wherever you go. The soul yearns for genuine emotional connections, yet as an Aries rising, you are challenged to cultivate peace within a dynamic life. Rituals that honor the feminine, like offering milk to the Moon on Mondays, bring balance, helping to calm inner turbulence and deepen your connection to the heart.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Aries rising intensifies the soul’s desire for self-mastery. Ruling both the 1st and 8th houses, this journey is about courageously embracing transformation and self-discovery. Your soul has chosen a path of intense personal growth, often catalyzed by challenges that require inner strength and resilience. Mars’ warrior energy benefits from focused discipline—practices like hanuman puja or physical routines deepen your connection to this transformative journey, allowing you to transmute obstacles into spiritual growth.
Mercury Atmakaraka
With Mercury as the atmakaraka, your soul’s purpose revolves around communication, adaptability, and service. Ruling the 3rd house of skills and the 6th house of daily work, Mercury urges you to refine intellect and speech as tools of healing. You are called to use knowledge for service, often facing challenges that hone your analytical skills and discernment. Mercury’s blessings grow through mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha) and by dedicating your learning to a higher purpose, supporting your path of balance and insightful service.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as atmakaraka, your soul is drawn to wisdom, spirituality, and compassionate growth. Ruling the 9th house of dharma and the 12th house of liberation, Jupiter’s path involves seeking higher truths, often through spiritual study, travel, or solitude. As an Aries rising, your soul feels compelled to harmonize worldly and spiritual responsibilities. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred texts, or offering prayers to Lord Vishnu can align you with Jupiter’s energy, guiding you to balance knowledge with compassionate action.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus serves as the atmakaraka, the soul seeks to learn about harmony, love, and material values on a deeper level. Venus rules the 2nd house of wealth and family as well as the 7th house of partnerships, showing a karmic journey rooted in balancing independence with meaningful connections. Aries rising may initially find relationships and values challenging, but Venus’s path calls for cultivating refinement, loyalty, and harmony. Offer white flowers to Venus on Fridays, or meditate near nature to develop a peaceful approach to wealth and relationships.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission is one of discipline, patience, and building lasting foundations. Saturn rules the 10th house of career and the 11th house of ambitions, indicating a karmic path where career, community, and responsibility are deeply significant. Aries rising with Saturn atmakaraka may face professional challenges early on, but these are soul-level lessons in resilience. Honoring Saturn through fasting or dedicating Saturdays to spiritual work strengthens your journey, bringing stability and long-term fulfillment in your contributions to society.
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𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, your soul’s journey involves cultivating inner strength and guiding others through wisdom. For Taurus rising, the Sun rules the 4th house of home, emotional roots, and inner security, suggesting a soul purpose centered on creating a legacy of nurturing and guidance. You may find that true contentment comes from balancing authority with compassion, creating a lasting foundation for others to thrive. Regular offerings to the Sun or practicing daily gratitude can help align you with this radiant path, illuminating the inner strength that supports both your life and the lives of others.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, your soul journey is one of intuitive connection and expressive wisdom. The Moon rules your 3rd house, the realm of communication, siblings, and courage, highlighting a karmic calling to connect with others through nurturing words and actions. This path asks you to cultivate an emotional resilience that lets you inspire others through both compassion and bold expression. Engage in practices that align with the Moon’s natural rhythm, such as connecting with nature or observing the lunar cycles, to enhance intuition and deepen your influence as a messenger of empathy.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Taurus rising indicates a soul mission shaped by courage, self-sacrifice, and partnership. Mars rules your 7th house of relationships and the 12th house of spirituality and release, highlighting a karmic need to balance personal power with selfless devotion. Your soul finds growth in standing firmly for others, even in challenging circumstances, and may also seek wisdom through letting go. Strengthening your connection to Mars through structured practices, such as physical discipline or honoring Tuesdays, brings greater mastery to your path of grounded strength and compassion in relationships.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, your soul’s purpose centers on intellect, values, and creative expression. Ruling the 2nd house of wealth and speech and the 5th house of creativity and intelligence, Mercury here emphasizes a karmic focus on refining communication, especially around family values or artistic pursuits. Taurus rising with Mercury atmakaraka may be drawn to professions or hobbies that use words and ideas to uplift others, such as writing, teaching, or even guiding family affairs. Meditating on Mercury’s mantras and exploring meaningful study enrich your voice and align you with this path of skillful service.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
Jupiter as atmakaraka invites a soul journey of wisdom, transformation, and compassionate expansion. For Taurus rising, Jupiter rules the 8th house of transformation and the 11th house of community and aspirations, suggesting a karmic purpose that draws you into the mysteries of life and calls for service in larger circles. Growth often arises through profound changes or spiritual inquiry, but there is a powerful drive to connect and share wisdom with others. Honoring Jupiter with charitable acts, offering prayers, or studying sacred teachings supports your path, guiding you toward fulfilling dharma through expansive yet grounded connections.
Venus Atmakaraka:
With Venus as atmakaraka, your soul’s mission revolves around cultivating beauty, balance, and refined values. Venus rules both the 1st house (self) and the 6th house (service and health), indicating a soul path deeply rooted in creating harmony, especially within yourself and through service. Taurus rising with Venus atmakaraka often feels fulfilled through artistic pursuits, nurturing environments, or healing work. This path calls you to embody love and grace, both in self-care and in service to others. Strengthening your connection to Venus through Friday rituals, meditation, or creativity brings you closer to the wisdom of peaceful balance.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, your soul is committed to responsibility, patience, and mastering the balance between personal and societal obligations. Saturn rules the 9th house of higher knowledge and the 10th house of career for Taurus rising, showing a karmic path where career, discipline, and wisdom converge. You may find that true growth arises from embracing limitations, working persistently toward long-term goals, and honoring the wisdom of tradition. Saturn’s energy strengthens through regular discipline, as well as through offering service on Saturdays, guiding you to embody resilience and create a lasting impact.
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𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose is to radiate inner truth and serve as a beacon of clarity and vision. For Gemini rising, the Sun rules the 3rd house of communication, courage, and siblings, suggesting a soul mission centered on using your voice and creative expression to inspire others. This placement may bring a natural magnetism, drawing you toward teaching, leading, or guiding through your words. Practices that honor the Sun—such as offering water at dawn or chanting Surya mantras—can deepen your connection to this radiant path, helping you align with a life of authentic expression and purpose.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul seeks emotional wisdom and connection to family and values. For Gemini rising, the Moon rules the 2nd house of wealth, speech, and family, emphasizing a karmic journey of building stability and emotional fulfillment through nurturing relationships. This placement often brings deep-seated needs for security and belonging, and growth comes through refining your values and creating harmonious connections. Connecting with the Moon’s energy through observing lunar cycles, practicing gratitude, and honoring family lineage helps anchor you, making this journey of emotional depth fulfilling.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Gemini rising indicates a soul mission centered on resilience, service, and determination. Mars rules the 6th house of work and the 11th house of aspirations, suggesting a path that involves both personal ambition and social influence. The soul seeks growth by tackling obstacles head-on and developing discipline, especially in competitive or service-oriented environments. Aligning with Mars’ energy through regular physical activity, meditation, or honoring Mars on Tuesdays enhances your courage and sense of purpose, empowering you to channel your willpower into meaningful contributions to society.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is a dance of intellect, adaptability, and seeking inner harmony. Mercury rules both the 1st house of self and the 4th house of inner peace and home, giving Gemini rising a karmic purpose focused on understanding the self and creating stability within. This atmakaraka placement often brings a powerful need to express ideas and cultivate knowledge, especially in ways that contribute to one’s personal and family life. Mantras for Mercury (Om Budhaya Namaha) and regular learning or writing practices enhance Mercury’s gifts, aligning you with a path of insightful and fulfilling communication.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul journey is one of wisdom, generosity, and uplifting others. Jupiter rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 10th house of career, showing a karmic path that merges personal and professional aspirations with higher knowledge. Growth often comes through relationships that expand your worldview, and through roles that allow you to guide or mentor others. Honoring Jupiter through charitable acts, gratitude, or studying spiritual teachings deepens your connection to this path, fostering wisdom and purpose within both work and partnership.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves love, harmony, and a desire to refine aesthetic or spiritual values. Venus rules the 5th house of creativity and the 12th house of surrender, indicating a karmic path of cultivating beauty, compassion, and even mystical connection. Gemini rising with Venus atmakaraka may find fulfillment in creative or spiritual practices that allow you to express and refine your inner vision. Rituals for Venus, such as honoring nature or creating beauty through art, help deepen your connection to this path, aligning you with an enriched life of loving wisdom.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
Saturn as atmakaraka for Gemini rising emphasizes a soul journey of discipline, endurance, and wisdom through transformation. Ruling the 8th house of hidden knowledge and the 9th house of higher learning, Saturn highlights a karmic path where growth is achieved through confronting life’s deeper mysteries and responsibilities. This placement often brings challenges that demand patience and resilience, yet these experiences become stepping stones toward profound insight. Saturn’s guidance strengthens with regular meditation, self-discipline, and honoring Saturn on Saturdays, allowing you to gain wisdom and maturity on this path of slow yet transformative growth.
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𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, your soul seeks a journey of self-discovery and strength through cultivating inner light and values. For Cancer rising, the Sun rules the 2nd house of family, wealth, and personal values, suggesting a soul mission that revolves around building a stable foundation, both materially and morally. There is often a karmic focus on establishing self-worth and embracing leadership within family or community. Practicing daily gratitude, offering water to the Sun, and connecting with your core values helps you align with this path of radiant self-fulfillment.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around deep emotional understanding and self-nurturing. The Moon rules the 1st house of self and identity, highlighting a karmic journey in which personal growth comes through self-compassion and empathy. As a Cancer rising, your soul’s purpose is to cultivate emotional resilience, learning to balance sensitivity with strength. Following lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and connecting with nature help stabilize the Moon’s energy, guiding you to fulfill your path of authentic emotional expression and inner strength.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Cancer rising signals a soul journey of courage, ambition, and growth through transformative action. Mars rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence, as well as the 10th house of career and public life, indicating a karmic calling to assert oneself boldly, whether through career achievements or creative pursuits. The soul seeks strength through handling both personal and professional challenges with resilience. Grounding practices, physical activity, and Tuesday rituals for Mars help bring focus and balance to this path, supporting you in achieving meaningful goals.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
With Mercury as the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose centers around communication, intellect, and sometimes selfless service. Mercury rules the 3rd house of communication and courage, and the 12th house of release and spirituality, suggesting a karmic focus on refining thought and using words with wisdom. This journey may involve learning to balance intellect with intuition, and growth often comes through serving others or through introspective practices. Aligning with Mercury through study, meditation, or mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha) helps sharpen your path of thoughtful connection and mindful expression.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
Jupiter as atmakaraka signifies a soul journey of wisdom, compassion, and healing. For Cancer rising, Jupiter rules the 6th house of service and the 9th house of higher knowledge, suggesting that your purpose may involve teaching, guiding, or healing others. The soul feels drawn to selfless service, where knowledge and empathy combine to uplift and inspire. You may find fulfillment through service to those in need or spiritual practices. Honoring Jupiter through charity, gratitude, and study enhances this path, aligning you with wisdom that fosters both personal and collective growth.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission involves cultivating love, harmony, and supportive connections. Venus rules the 4th house of home and the 11th house of social networks, suggesting a karmic journey centered around creating beauty, harmony, and community in your surroundings. For Cancer rising, there is often a strong need for close bonds, and your fulfillment may come through building harmonious relationships or nurturing family and friendships. Honoring Venus with beauty rituals, Friday offerings, and creative pursuits supports your path, aligning you with a life of love, unity, and grace.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul seeks to master patience, resilience, and responsibility. Saturn rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 8th house of transformation, showing that your growth often involves deep, enduring relationships and significant life transitions. This placement suggests a karmic focus on commitment and learning the art of perseverance, both within partnerships and personal trials. Regular discipline, observing Saturn’s day on Saturdays, and engaging in steady meditation help support your soul’s path, allowing you to deepen relationships and gain wisdom through life’s transformative experiences.
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𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun itself is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission is to live with pure, authentic expression. For Leo rising, the Sun rules the 1st house, highlighting a karmic journey of self-discovery and personal empowerment. Your soul feels called to embody your values openly and to inspire others by example. This path often brings visibility, and fulfillment comes from aligning with your true essence, regardless of external approval. Daily offerings to the Sun, such as Surya namaskar or meditations at sunrise, help fortify your inner light, allowing you to live with radiant integrity.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional wisdom, compassion, and inner tranquility. The Moon rules your 12th house, the realm of spiritual release and hidden depths, suggesting a karmic focus on balancing outer ambition with inner peace. This journey encourages you to cultivate empathy and connect with others on a heartfelt level, often through introspective or healing work. Engaging in practices like lunar meditations, nurturing emotional bonds, and observing the lunar cycles align you with a path that harmonizes inner serenity with outer influence.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Leo rising signifies a soul journey of resilience, adventure, and spiritual growth. Mars rules the 4th house of home and the 9th house of higher knowledge, indicating a path where courage and wisdom are intertwined. Your soul is drawn to explore new ideas, beliefs, and even distant lands, seeking purpose beyond conventional bounds. Mars challenges you to stand firm in your convictions while embracing the unfamiliar. Physical activity, meditation, or hanuman puja strengthens Mars’ influence, empowering you to lead others with conviction and wisdom.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose centers around communication, learning, and social impact. For Leo rising, Mercury rules the 2nd house of speech and wealth and the 11th house of ambitions and networks, highlighting a karmic path where intellect and social connection are vital. The soul is called to refine language, values, and ideas that influence both family and society. Mercury benefits from regular mantras (Om Budhaya Namaha), study, and journaling, helping you channel your thoughts and wisdom to make a lasting impact on those around you.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is guided by generosity, learning, and profound transformation. Jupiter rules your 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 8th house of mystery and transformation, indicating a karmic focus on sharing wisdom, especially through creative or transformative roles. This journey may involve teaching, mentoring, or delving into spiritual practices that connect you with life’s deeper truths. Honoring Jupiter through charity, study of sacred texts, and gratitude rituals enhances this path, helping you embody compassion and share knowledge that uplifts others.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission involves cultivating beauty, balance, and harmony within both personal and professional realms. Venus rules the 3rd house of communication and the 10th house of career, suggesting a karmic journey in which creative self-expression and interpersonal relationships play essential roles. For Leo rising, fulfillment often comes through refining your approach to communication and embracing roles that allow you to inspire others through beauty, art, or diplomacy. Honoring Venus on Fridays, creating through art, and nurturing close bonds align you with a path of harmonious leadership and refined influence.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose is one of endurance, discipline, and responsibility in relationships and service. Saturn rules the 6th house of service and the 7th house of partnerships for Leo rising, suggesting a karmic path that involves learning patience and commitment through both work and relationships. This placement often brings challenges that require persistence and a grounded approach to life. Saturn’s energy strengthens through regular discipline, honoring responsibilities, and observing Shani mantras on Saturdays, guiding you to embrace resilience and wisdom in your roles and partnerships.
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𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose is to live with authenticity, compassion, and inner strength. For Virgo rising, the Sun rules the 12th house of spirituality, solitude, and liberation, suggesting a karmic journey focused on self-sacrifice and higher understanding. Your soul may find fulfillment in serving others, often behind the scenes, or in spiritual practices that bring inner peace. Offering water to the Sun at dawn, or practicing meditation, strengthens this path, helping you express your unique radiance with humility and compassion, aligned with a selfless purpose.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional awareness, intuition, and connection with community. The Moon rules the 11th house of social networks, ambitions, and gains, indicating a karmic path that emphasizes cultivating deep, supportive friendships and finding emotional fulfillment within groups. This placement brings a need to balance your practical, analytical nature with empathy and intuition. Connecting with the lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and nurturing close bonds aligns you with this soul journey, helping you harmonize personal goals with collective well-being.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Virgo rising signifies a soul journey of resilience, courage, and transformation. Mars rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 8th house of hidden knowledge and transformation, showing a karmic path that involves facing challenges directly and learning from life’s mysteries. The soul finds growth by developing inner strength, especially through investigative or service-oriented pursuits. Strengthening Mars’ energy with regular exercise, meditation, or Hanuman puja empowers you to face obstacles with confidence, bringing courage and determination to your purposeful journey.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey centers on intellect, self-improvement, and social impact. Ruling both the 1st house of self and the 10th house of career and public life, Mercury’s path highlights a karmic focus on mastering communication and serving as an insightful guide in professional or public roles. This journey often involves refining knowledge and sharing it with others in a way that uplifts and informs. Practices such as studying sacred texts, practicing meditation, or chanting Om Budhaya Namaha enhance Mercury’s influence, helping you align with a purposeful path of insightful service.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of compassion, wisdom, and healing. For Virgo rising, Jupiter rules the 4th house of inner peace and home and the 7th house of partnerships, indicating a karmic path that emphasizes creating harmony within personal relationships and offering wisdom to loved ones. This journey may involve mentorship, teaching, or even healing work that brings joy and support to others. Honoring Jupiter through acts of kindness, practicing gratitude, and studying sacred wisdom enhances this path, aligning you with a life of loving service and compassionate influence.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission centers on love, values, and harmony within yourself and others. Venus rules the 2nd house of wealth, speech, and family, as well as the 9th house of higher knowledge, travel, and dharma, indicating a karmic journey focused on finding beauty and meaning in both material and spiritual realms. Virgo rising with Venus atmakaraka may find fulfillment in refining values and sharing wisdom with those around you. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, creative expression, and connecting with nature supports this path, bringing beauty and balance to your soul journey.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul seeks to learn patience, discipline, and commitment, particularly in the realms of service and responsibility. Saturn rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 6th house of service and health, suggesting a karmic path that involves careful, dedicated work, often in healing or teaching roles. Virgo rising with Saturn atmakaraka may encounter challenges that require resilience and a steady approach to growth. Honoring Saturn with discipline, offering service, or meditating on Shani mantras on Saturdays strengthens this journey, helping you achieve long-term fulfillment through thoughtful contribution.
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𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves developing inner strength and using it to uplift others. For Libra rising, the Sun rules the 11th house of social circles, aspirations, and gains, indicating a karmic purpose focused on guiding and inspiring within communities or groups. You are called to lead in a way that benefits the collective, often through a role that requires visibility and integrity. Honoring the Sun through daily offerings or practicing gratitude at sunrise fortifies this path, helping you lead others with clarity, warmth, and purpose.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission centers on emotional intelligence, compassion, and a nurturing approach to career. The Moon rules your 10th house of career and public standing, highlighting a karmic path where fulfillment comes from supporting others and creating an emotionally harmonious work environment. This placement calls you to balance ambition with empathy, seeking roles that allow you to care for or inspire those around you. Observing lunar cycles, connecting with nature, and nurturing close bonds help harmonize this journey, aligning you with a career path of meaningful, heart-centered influence.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Libra rising signifies a soul journey of courage, transformation, and relationship dynamics. Mars rules the 2nd house of values and wealth and the 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic path where relationships serve as both a source of growth and a testing ground for patience and balance. This journey calls you to stand firm in your values while learning compromise in partnership. Honoring Mars through regular physical activity, Tuesday rituals, or meditative practices empowers you to pursue your soul’s purpose with strength and integrity, especially in matters of wealth and love.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves learning, teaching, and bridging ideas across cultures or beliefs. For Libra rising, Mercury rules the 9th house of higher wisdom and the 12th house of spirituality, suggesting a karmic focus on expanding knowledge and connecting deeply with one’s spiritual path. This path may involve guiding others, traveling, or exploring philosophy. Honoring Mercury with daily study, journaling, or chanting Om Budhaya Namaha supports your journey, helping you align with a path of insightful, compassionate communication and spiritual wisdom.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is marked by service, teaching, and personal development. For Libra rising, Jupiter rules the 3rd house of communication and the 6th house of service, showing a karmic path where growth often comes through mentoring, guiding, or supporting others. There may be a deep call to serve through teaching or healing. Honoring Jupiter through charitable acts, practicing gratitude, and studying sacred teachings helps align you with this path, allowing your wisdom and compassion to uplift others and transform your own life.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, your soul’s mission is to experience love, beauty, and transformation in profound ways. Venus rules both the 1st house of self and the 8th house of depth and change, indicating a karmic journey focused on refining personal values and experiencing the transformative power of love and connection. Libra rising with Venus atmakaraka often finds fulfillment in relationships and in creating harmony within oneself and others. Engaging in Friday rituals, creativity, and connecting with nature strengthens your path, aligning you with a purpose of beauty, peace, and personal evolution.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of discipline, wisdom, and commitment, particularly in matters of home and creativity. Saturn rules the 4th house of home and the 5th house of creativity, suggesting a karmic path where growth comes through cultivating inner security and taking responsibility for those close to you. This placement often brings challenges that require endurance and maturity. Honoring Saturn with regular discipline, serving others, or practicing Shani mantras on Saturdays aligns you with this path, helping you gain wisdom and fulfillment through lasting contributions to home and family.
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𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is about finding and expressing true authority and purpose. For Scorpio rising, the Sun rules the 10th house of career and public life, indicating a karmic path centered on leadership, public recognition, and integrity. There’s often a call to illuminate the world with your unique vision, perhaps through a role that requires guidance or responsibility. Practicing gratitude, offering water to the Sun, and Surya namaskar at sunrise can align you with this purpose, empowering you to shine as a respected figure in your community or profession.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional insight, compassion, and higher wisdom. The Moon rules your 9th house of dharma, philosophy, and spirituality, suggesting a karmic journey where the heart guides your spiritual growth. This path encourages you to explore teachings and experiences that nurture both empathy and inner strength, often through travel or connecting with different cultures. Observing the lunar cycles, practicing self-reflection, and nurturing relationships help harmonize this journey, guiding you to bring healing and intuitive wisdom into the world.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Scorpio rising emphasizes a soul journey marked by courage, resilience, and self-mastery. Ruling both the 1st house of self and the 6th house of service and challenges, Mars calls you to confront obstacles with strength and a willingness to transform. The soul’s mission is often found through experiences that push boundaries, whether in personal development or service-oriented roles. Channeling Mars’ energy through structured practices, physical training, or Hanuman puja aligns you with this path, empowering you to embrace change as a tool for growth and mastery.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves knowledge, communication, and delving into the mysteries of life. Mercury rules the 8th house of transformation and the 11th house of social circles and ambitions, highlighting a karmic focus on understanding and sharing hidden or complex information. Your soul is drawn to explore the psychological, mystical, or scientific realms, often with an intent to communicate these findings to others. Honoring Mercury through study, meditation, or Om Budhaya Namaha can help channel this path, enabling you to uncover and share deep insights with clarity and compassion.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around wisdom, compassion, and creative self-expression. Jupiter rules the 2nd house of values and wealth and the 5th house of creativity, intelligence, and children, suggesting a karmic journey that encourages both personal expansion and nurturing others. Growth often comes through teaching, guiding, or supporting others in ways that align with higher truths. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred wisdom, or charity aligns you with Jupiter’s path, helping you bring your innate wisdom and generosity into every aspect of life.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves learning about love, compassion, and the balance between attachment and detachment. Venus rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 12th house of spirituality and release, highlighting a karmic path where relationships serve as a gateway to both connection and spiritual growth. For Scorpio rising, there’s a deep pull toward exploring the transformational nature of love and partnership. Honoring Venus through Friday rituals, creative expression, or quiet meditation aligns you with this journey, helping you find peace and harmony within both relationships and the inner self.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s purpose centers on discipline, responsibility, and inner stability. Saturn rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 4th house of home and emotional foundation, suggesting a karmic path where growth comes through commitment to self-discipline and nurturing inner security. This placement often brings challenges that test patience and resilience, yet these trials lead to a profound sense of inner wisdom. Regular meditation, grounding practices, and observing Shani mantras on Saturdays align you with Saturn’s path, guiding you to transform challenges into lasting spiritual strength.
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𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves discovering one’s inner light and sharing it with others. For Sagittarius rising, the Sun rules the 9th house of dharma, spirituality, and higher learning, highlighting a karmic path where the soul feels called to embody and radiate wisdom. Your mission may involve teaching, mentoring, or guiding others through your own insights. Daily offerings to the Sun, Surya namaskar, and sunrise meditations can deepen your alignment with this path, empowering you to inspire others with authenticity, knowledge, and an unshakable inner purpose.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey centers on emotional depth, compassion, and transformation. For Sagittarius rising, the Moon rules the 8th house of hidden knowledge, change, and healing, suggesting a karmic path of exploring deep emotional truths and spiritual renewal. This journey often involves confronting fears and learning to heal both yourself and others. Observing lunar cycles, practicing introspection, and nurturing close relationships bring you in harmony with this path, guiding you to cultivate empathy and find inner peace through emotional understanding and resilience.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Sagittarius rising emphasizes a soul journey of courage, spiritual sacrifice, and creative exploration. Mars rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 12th house of spiritual surrender and liberation, indicating a karmic path where the soul finds purpose through bravery and selfless service. Growth comes through bold pursuits, whether in creative projects, spiritual practices, or taking risks that expand your understanding. Channeling Mars’ energy through regular physical activity, meditation, or Hanuman puja empowers you to walk this path of fearless wisdom and inspired action.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey revolves around intellect, communication, and influence within the world. Mercury rules the 7th house of partnerships and the 10th house of career, suggesting a karmic purpose that involves refining ideas and sharing them with others in meaningful, impactful ways. The soul may be drawn to teaching, negotiation, or roles requiring clear communication and strategic thought. Honoring Mercury through study, meditation, or Om Budhaya Namaha helps you embrace this path, allowing you to express your insights in ways that uplift and guide others.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission is deeply spiritual, seeking growth through wisdom, compassion, and self-understanding. Jupiter rules both the 1st house of self and the 4th house of emotional foundation and inner peace, indicating a karmic path focused on nurturing both personal growth and harmony within. As a Sagittarius rising, your soul feels compelled to embody higher truths and share them with others. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred texts, or participating in charitable acts strengthens Jupiter’s influence, guiding you toward a life of spiritual expansion and inner fulfillment.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves learning about love, harmony, and the balance between duty and pleasure. Venus rules the 6th house of service and the 11th house of social networks and aspirations, highlighting a karmic path focused on creating supportive relationships and contributing to the community. For Sagittarius rising, fulfillment often comes through refining relationships and aligning personal ambitions with a greater good. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, creative expression, and spending time in nature aligns you with this path, guiding you to find beauty and balance within yourself and your community.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of discipline, patience, and a commitment to personal values and communication. Saturn rules the 2nd house of wealth and values and the 3rd house of communication and courage, suggesting a karmic path that encourages you to uphold truth and responsibility. Growth often comes through learning to express yourself with integrity and through developing resilience in financial or familial matters. Honoring Saturn with regular discipline, practicing Shani mantras on Saturdays, and dedicating yourself to service helps you align with this path, creating a legacy of wisdom and inner strength.
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𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves cultivating inner strength and purpose through transformation. For Capricorn rising, the Sun rules the 8th house of hidden knowledge, transformation, and shared resources, indicating a karmic path where the soul grows by confronting life’s mysteries and embracing change. This placement may lead you toward roles of quiet but profound influence. Honoring the Sun through Surya namaskar, meditations at sunrise, and offerings at dawn can strengthen your connection to this path, empowering you to lead with both wisdom and resilience.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey revolves around emotional wisdom, compassion, and harmonious relationships. The Moon rules your 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic path that involves learning to nurture others and find emotional fulfillment through relationships. For Capricorn rising, this path emphasizes balance between ambition and intimacy, encouraging you to cultivate empathy alongside your goals. Observing the lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and nurturing relationships help align you with this path, bringing depth and emotional richness to your personal connections.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Capricorn rising signifies a soul journey marked by resilience, courage, and community involvement. Mars rules the 4th house of home and inner peace and the 11th house of social networks and ambitions, highlighting a karmic focus on developing inner strength and pursuing goals that benefit the collective. This journey may call you to channel your strength in ways that support both family and community. Honoring Mars through physical discipline, meditation, and Hanuman puja empowers this path, helping you balance personal and social responsibilities with courage and determination.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission is to develop intellect, clarity, and a capacity for thoughtful communication. For Capricorn rising, Mercury rules the 6th house of service and health and the 9th house of higher learning and spirituality, indicating a karmic path focused on integrating wisdom and knowledge into daily life. This journey often involves a blend of intellectual pursuits, learning, and offering service to others. Honoring Mercury with mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha), journaling, and study can strengthen your alignment with this path, empowering you to share insights with clarity and purpose.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of compassion, generosity, and spiritual exploration. Jupiter rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 12th house of liberation and spiritual depth, suggesting a karmic path that involves teaching, guiding, or traveling to broaden perspectives. This placement encourages you to balance personal growth with service to others. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying spiritual teachings, or participating in charitable acts enhances Jupiter’s gifts, aligning you with a life of wisdom and compassionate influence.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around love, aesthetics, and cultivating balance in both personal and professional life. Venus rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 10th house of career, highlighting a karmic path focused on bringing beauty, creativity, and harmony into your work. This placement often brings fulfillment through careers that involve the arts, social causes, or diplomacy. Honoring Venus with rituals on Fridays, creative pursuits, and nature connection aligns you with this path, helping you find harmony between personal aspirations and professional responsibilities.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of patience, resilience, and responsibility, especially toward self-development and material values. Saturn rules both the 1st house of self and the 2nd house of wealth and family, indicating a karmic path where growth often involves financial and personal responsibility. This journey encourages you to cultivate discipline, endurance, and integrity in all areas of life. Honoring Saturn through regular meditation, fasting on Saturdays, and acts of service strengthens this path, helping you build a stable foundation for both spiritual and material growth.
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𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves embodying authenticity and purpose through partnerships and public influence. For Aquarius rising, the Sun rules the 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic focus on using relationships as a way to inspire and influence. This path often brings partnerships that challenge you to balance individuality with mutual purpose. Practicing daily gratitude, offering water to the Sun at dawn, and Surya namaskar enhance this path, empowering you to shine as a guiding light in both personal and professional relationships.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission centers on compassion, emotional insight, and service. The Moon rules your 6th house of service, health, and everyday responsibilities, indicating a karmic journey focused on nurturing others, often in supportive or healing roles. This journey calls you to bring empathy and sensitivity into everyday life, helping to uplift others and create harmony in service. Following the lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and fostering emotional connections aligns you with this path, helping you bring peace and healing into the lives of others.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Aquarius rising signifies a soul journey of courage, action, and impactful service. Mars rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 10th house of career and public life, highlighting a karmic path that involves using strength and determination to create tangible outcomes. This path may lead you to positions of responsibility where your drive to serve the collective can shine. Honoring Mars with physical discipline, regular meditation, or Hanuman puja supports your journey, empowering you to pursue this path of purposeful impact with energy and dedication.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves knowledge, curiosity, and deep intellectual engagement. Mercury rules the 5th house of creativity and intelligence and the 8th house of transformation and mysteries, suggesting a karmic journey focused on understanding complex ideas and expressing them creatively. You may be drawn to study, research, or uncover hidden knowledge, often with the intent to share insights with others. Honoring Mercury through study, meditation, or chanting Om Budhaya Namaha aligns you with this path, empowering you to make sense of both visible and hidden worlds.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of generosity, wisdom, and community involvement. For Aquarius rising, Jupiter rules the 2nd house of values and wealth and the 11th house of social circles and aspirations, highlighting a karmic focus on creating abundance not only for oneself but also for the collective. This placement encourages you to cultivate prosperity, contribute to groups, and share wisdom that benefits others. Honoring Jupiter through gratitude practices, charitable acts, and studying sacred teachings enhances this path, helping you become a source of abundance and inspiration for those around you.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission centers on love, beauty, and creating harmony in both personal and spiritual realms. Venus rules the 4th house of home and inner peace and the 9th house of higher learning and dharma, suggesting a karmic journey focused on bringing beauty and balance into your surroundings and relationships. Fulfillment may come from creating a peaceful home, teaching, or practicing a form of spirituality that emphasizes compassion. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, connecting with nature, and engaging in artistic pursuits aligns you with this path, allowing you to bring harmony and grace into all that you do.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is marked by discipline, responsibility, and a deep commitment to self-development and spiritual growth. Saturn rules both the 1st house of self and the 12th house of liberation and solitude, indicating a karmic path where growth involves learning patience and dedicating oneself to both worldly and spiritual pursuits. This journey often brings challenges that test resilience and encourage self-reflection. Honoring Saturn with regular meditation, observing fasting on Saturdays, and acts of service fortify this path, guiding you to build a life of steady contribution, both materially and spiritually.
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𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠
Sun Atmakaraka:
When the Sun is the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey involves cultivating inner strength and serving as a source of inspiration for others. For Pisces rising, the Sun rules the 6th house of service, health, and discipline, suggesting a karmic path where the soul learns to radiate strength and compassion through work or service roles. This journey may involve challenges that test endurance, but these experiences bring wisdom and humility. Honoring the Sun through Surya namaskar, sunrise meditations, and daily gratitude help you embody this purpose, guiding you to serve others with both courage and warmth.
Moon Atmakaraka:
With the Moon as atmakaraka, the soul’s mission revolves around emotional wisdom, creativity, and nurturing others. The Moon rules your 5th house of creativity, intelligence, and past-life merit, highlighting a karmic journey focused on expressing empathy and emotional intelligence. This path may involve teaching, healing, or guiding others, often with a deep emotional connection. Observing lunar cycles, practicing self-care, and creating meaningful bonds aligns you with this path, empowering you to nurture both yourself and others in ways that bring inner peace and intuitive insight.
Mars Atmakaraka:
Mars as atmakaraka for Pisces rising signifies a soul journey marked by adventure, spiritual quest, and dedication to personal values. Mars rules the 2nd house of wealth and values and the 9th house of higher learning and dharma, indicating a karmic path that involves exploring personal beliefs, often through spiritual study, travel, or philosophical pursuits. This journey calls you to act on your values courageously and align with a higher purpose. Honoring Mars through physical activity, meditation, and Hanuman puja empowers your journey, helping you embrace courage and integrity on your path of self-discovery.
Mercury Atmakaraka:
When Mercury is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves learning, communication, and creating harmony in relationships. Mercury rules the 4th house of home and inner peace and the 7th house of partnerships, suggesting a karmic journey centered on refining intellect, fostering emotional balance, and building meaningful connections. This placement often draws you to roles where you can share knowledge, mediate, or guide others. Honoring Mercury through mantra (Om Budhaya Namaha), journaling, and study supports this journey, allowing you to use your voice to uplift and harmonize.
Jupiter Atmakaraka:
With Jupiter as the atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is deeply spiritual, centered on compassion, growth, and a desire to uplift others. Jupiter rules both the 1st house of self and the 10th house of career, indicating a karmic path that blends personal growth with worldly contributions. As a Pisces rising, your soul feels called to embody wisdom, share teachings, and serve as a guiding presence. Engaging in gratitude practices, studying sacred texts, or acts of charity aligns you with Jupiter’s influence, guiding you toward a life of expansive, compassionate purpose.
Venus Atmakaraka:
When Venus is the atmakaraka, the soul’s mission involves learning about love, harmony, and transformation through relationships. Venus rules the 3rd house of communication and courage and the 8th house of transformation and shared resources, suggesting a karmic journey that explores love, emotional depth, and courage in the face of change. This placement may draw you to creative or healing roles that bridge emotional and spiritual realms. Honoring Venus with Friday rituals, engaging in creative expression, or connecting with nature aligns you with this path, helping you create harmony within yourself and others.
Saturn Atmakaraka:
With Saturn as atmakaraka, the soul’s journey is one of discipline, patience, and surrender, especially in relation to the community and the self. Saturn rules the 11th house of social circles and aspirations and the 12th house of liberation and spirituality, indicating a karmic path where growth involves balancing worldly responsibilities with spiritual solitude. This placement often requires steady commitment and self-reflection. Honoring Saturn through discipline, regular meditation, and observing fasting on Saturdays aligns you with this journey, helping you cultivate inner resilience and the wisdom that guides you toward ultimate liberation.
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TikTok - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)
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charliemwrites · 10 months ago
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…. So Mister(s) steal your girl, huh?
Content: Unhappy Relationship, (Brief) Gaslighting, Sad Reader
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Bombshells, you always thought, were supposed to making a whistling sound before landing. A high pitched warning of impending doom. Too late to escape the incoming devastation, but at least it wouldn’t come out of nowhere. There’d be some time to brace, for all the good it would do.
Maybe you watched too many movies.
Three months. That’s how long you got to enjoy the bliss of engagement before the world began to fall around you.
Your fiance came home and sat you down, his hand around yours. You thought he was breaking it off for some reason. What he did instead was worse.
In the aftermath you can only remember snippets of the one-sided conversation. Like tinnitus, an awful running in your ears left over from a dropped bomb.
Things like,
Still young, I want to explore…
How will I know you’re my forever unless I know what’s out there?
Last bit of freedom before being tied down…
If you love me and our relationship…
You love your fiance and your relationship. You don’t want to lose it just because you’re selfish. He’s still coming home to you, after all. You’re the one with the ring and all the plans for the future. So what if he wants to��� explore? He’s even offering the same to you.
An open relationship, he calls it, like it’s some innovative idea.
You’ve heard of them before, never had much interest. Still don’t, honestly, but it was that or the desolution of 4 years.
You insisted on a long engagement. Your fiance promises that you two can revisit the open relationship when you’re married.
Within a week of agreeing, he’s leaves for the weekend. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going, who he’s meeting. He comes back Sunday evening smelling like someone else’s perfume with a hickey on his collarbone. When you refuse any advances, he sighs and says he “understands that this is a transition” and goes to shower.
It’s like that for six months. Weekends without him. Sometimes sending him off Friday morning and not seeing him until Monday evening. Lipstick on his collars, strange perfume invading the laundry. You start doing his clothes separately.
Six months. You spend months suffering in silence, sniffling through Saturdays and drifting through Sundays. Adjusting meal plans to cook for one.
The last straw is when you try to make plans on a holiday. You and your fiance haven’t done on a proper date in months. You want to go out, have all his attention on you, not shared with his phone.
“Ooh, sorry dear, I’ve already got plans with Malorie. Rain check, yeah? We’ll do something next week.”
You decide to go out anyway, sick of feeling sorry for yourself. Nothing fancy, just a bit of self care. You buy yourself a cute new outfit, put on a bit more makeup than usual, do your hair. Find an interesting little late night book shop. They serve wine and food and have comfy booths for people to read or talk or play board games.
The perfect place to be out but alone.
You’re debating the merits of a romance novel when a voice comes from your left.
“Love that one.”
You blink, glance up. Find a handsome man with eyes simultaneously so dark and so warm. Coals, you think. There’s a cheeky little quirk to his mouth as he nods at the novel.
“It’s good if you like will-they, won’t-they.”
You hum. “I’m more in the market for something… easier? If that makes sense.”
He hums, gives you a solemn look. “It does. Here, you might like this then.”
He plucks a book off the shelf and offers it for inspection. You feel awkward reading it the summary thoroughly, especially when you can feel his eyes on you. But you skim it, it looks promising, and a hot guy just suggested it, so…
“Read a lot of romance?” you ask curiously.
He ducks his head a bit, endearingly shy. “A bit, yeah. Call me hopeless.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, but can’t help saying. “I think it’s just romantic.”
His eyes light up. “Yeah? And what kind of books d’you usually like?”
Before you know it, you’re talking thrillers and horror novels with him. Recommending your favorite spooky novel and then following up that you always read a comedy afterwards as a palette cleanser.
You end up touring each other around the shop, talking books and authors and genres. Yet you’re somehow surprised when he asks if you’d like to sit with him. But you agree, a little thrill in your stomach that you haven’t felt since… a while.
You each buy a stack of books, then claim a booth and proceed to read none of them. He tells you his name is Kyle, that he’s in the military but on leave right now, stocking up on entertainment for flights or long spans of hurrying up and waiting.
You’ve never met a military guy before, and you trip over your curiosity. Trying not to pry but interested in what he does. He’s polite and patient, admitting there are a lot of things he can’t tell you but he’ll answer. You don’t stay on the subject long, figuring the last thing he wants to talk about it work.
He gets you back in the department of uncomfortable topics when he notices the ring on your finger. You’re quick to explain the situation, hot with shame all over again, eyes stinging despite yourself.
Instead of mocking you or just getting up and walking away, Kyle sits back looking flabbergasted.
“That’s fucking mental,” he says, “excuse me for saying.”
You burst into laughter. Haven’t told anyone any of this out of embarrassment, but hearing someone on your side is… good.
“I thought so too, but… he’s happy,” you admit.
Kyle frowns. “What about you?”
You blink, can’t look him in the eye. You know the answer but make a show of thinking about it.
“I’d… like to be again. This — the open relationship thing — seems to be working for him. So… maybe it’ll work for me too?” You shrug. “Worth a try.”
Kyle reaches across the table, a big warm hand enveloping yours. There are callouses you’re not expecting. Tantalizingly different.
“Would you like to try it with me?” he asks. “Don’t have to put a label on it or anything. But my schedule is a bit… it’s hard to keep up a traditional relationship, you know? But I like you, and I think your fiance is a knob.”
You snort, but flip your hand around, thumb brushing over his.
“Yeah…” you muse, and after saying it, a surge of confidence infuses you. “Yeah, I’d like to try this with you.”
His smile is absolutely brilliant. You won’t admit — not even to yourself for a long time — but you fall in love a little right then and there.
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vaspider · 6 days ago
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In the Wyoming case, the women and nonprofits who challenged the laws argued that the bans stood to harm their health, wellbeing and livelihoods – claims disputed by attorneys for the state. They also argued the bans violated a 2012 state constitutional amendment saying competent Wyoming residents have a right to make their own health care decisions. As she had done with previous rulings, Owens found merit in both of these arguments. The abortion bans “will undermine the integrity of the medical profession by hamstringing the ability of physicians to provide evidence-based medicine to their patients”, Owens ruled. The abortion laws impede the fundamental right of women to make health care decisions for an entire class of people – those who are pregnant – in violation of the constitutional amendment, Owens ruled. Wyoming voters approved the amendment amid fears of government overreach after approval of the federal Affordable Care Act and its initial requirements for people to have health insurance. Attorneys for the state argued that health care, under the amendment, did not include abortion. The Republican governor, Mark Gordon, who signed the abortion laws into effect in 2022 and 2023, did not immediately return an email from the Associated Press on Monday seeking comment.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 4 months ago
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Writing Notes: Logical Fallacies
A logical fallacy occurs when an argument is not adequately supported.
This can be the result of errors in reasoning, a lack of evidence, the author’s use of irrelevant points, or other reasoning moves that do not logically support the argument.
Advertisers, salespeople, politicians, and others might use logical fallacies to manipulate you.
Argument to the People (Appealing to Stirring Symbols)
Involves using a visual symbol (the American flag, pictures of babies, “Support the Troops” bumper sticker, etc.) of something that much of the public finds hard to reject but that has little relevance to the argument.
Example: Political candidates often use the American flag and other patriotic symbols in TV ads to appeal to and persuade citizens to vote for them.
Appeal to Pity (Ad misericordiam)
A verbal version of Argument to the People.
Example: A political candidate may tell stories about their life that are not connected to their platforms.
Like Arguments to the People, Appeals to Pity are fallacious if they are irrelevant to the argument in question; pity for the candidate should not be a reason why citizens vote for them.
In some cases—for example, when soliciting money for people whose incomes are below the federal poverty threshold or for the Humane Society—appeals to pity may be legitimately used.
Erroneous Appeal to Authority
Example: Years ago, a commercial for Bufferin Aspirin used Erroneous Appeal to Authority by featuring people on the street lining up to ask Angela Lansbury, a popular actress at the time with no medical authority whatsoever, questions about the pain reliever.
Ad Hominem (“to the person”)
Involves a personal attack on the character of the opponent rather than on the argument itself.
Example: Criticizing a restaurant because the chef is “too skinny,” rather than focusing on the merits of the restaurant’s food, service, atmosphere, or other relevant aspect is an ad hominem attack.
However, an ad hominem argument that is relevant to the issue (“Rinalda Gooch will not make a good President because she faints every time she tries to make a speech”) is not a logical fallacy.
Shifting the Issue (Red Herring)
Refers to the arguer’s changing the subject to avoid dealing with an unpleasant aspect of the argument.
Example: When a reporter questioned candidate Stone about her past marijuana use, she responded, “Why haven’t you asked my opponent about his drinking?”
Hasty Generalization
Means to argue on the assumption that an entire group shares the same traits as one or two examples of that group.
Example: “Women should not be considered for high political office because they’re too emotional to make thoughtful decisions.”
Appeal to Popularity (Bandwagon)
An argument based on the premise that an idea or product has merit just because it is popular.
Example: “All the cool kids are wearing Stinko sneakers this season,” the saleswoman told the boy. “You don’t want to be left out, do you?”
Begging the Question
Involves “supporting” an argument by stating the argument in different words.
Example: “We need to bomb evildoers because they are guilty of horrendous acts,” basically restates the claim (evildoers are people who do evil) instead of stating a reason why bombing the “evildoers” is a good thing to do.
Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc
An argument that uses Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (“after this, therefore because of this”) illogically suggests that because one event followed another, the first event caused the second to occur.
Example: “The fact that students cut their hair over the weekend and their test scores were higher on Monday shows that shorter hair leads to good grades.”
False Dilemma or Dichotomy (Either/Or)
This argument attempts to sway opinion by making it seem as if the only alternative to a proposed argument is one that is obviously unacceptable.
Example: “We must fight the enemy in their land so they don’t follow us to ours” suggests -- but does not attempt to show -- that one country’s aggression is the only way to decrease another country’s aggression.
The Slippery Slope
This argument attempts to dissuade people from taking or allowing a specific action because it might cause a particular condition to spiral out of control – no matter how far-fetched.
Example: “Legalizing same-sex marriage could lead to legalizing marriage between people and their pets!”
If these notes are helpful in your writing, do tag me, or send me a link to your work. I would love to read it!
Writing Notes & References
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twstfanblog · 1 year ago
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*~Period Drama~* Monday
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A/N: SCREAMS. There was no reason why this took me so long to get out. But it's here and I hope you guys like it! Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs for this fic series! I love them so much and I'm having so much fun playing with them! Word Count: 8.4K Words (God damn the next part is gonna be even bigger...) Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, Period talk, Mentions of labor and pregnancy. Pairings: JamilxOC (Poly), Paternal Crewel &OC ~TagList @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Heartslabyul), Part 4 (Here), Part 4.5 (Diasomnia pt.1), Part 5 (Diasomnia pt.2), Part 6 (Pomefiore), Part 7 (Scarabia)
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Yuu felt awful, just total dog shit in a bag and on fire awful. But, that was to be expected when they had their period and hadn’t been able to take any pain medication. So, in all honesty, they should be fine.
Yuu checked themselves over in the bathroom mirror. Huffing under their breath and trying to get their hair to settle in a less haggard fashion. They weren’t too sure if they should even go to class. But then they thought about the fact they enjoyed school in Twisted Wonderland. They had teachers who, begrudgingly, took time out of their days to help them understand the coursework. It felt like some kind of disservice to skip out just to laze around their dorm in pain. Not to mention Crewel would have to either visit himself or have someone else bring them food and pain medicine for the day. It just sounded like a lot of unnecessary back-and-forth for everyone else that Yuu wasn’t in the mood to put their loved ones through.
 So, Yuu had put her big girl panties on - with a hand towel between her legs for blood catching, hoping she wasn't going to bleed through it - and got out of bed to go to school. She should also try to pick Grim up from Scarabia. While she’s sure her cat companion was having fun being held and hand-fed gourmet crackers, she did miss the furball and if Jamil’s update texts were of any merit, he was pouting about being away from her for so long.
Now fully dressed, and stiff with muscle aches, Yuu sighed as they walked out of their dorm. At least they were able to leave much earlier than they normally were. No Grim to drag out of bed and the fact they had been awake for hours beforehand playing a very key role. With the Sun just barely peeking over the thick woods, they started their journey to the main road to the school.
But, stepping onto the dirt path that branched off from the paved walkways of the school’s actual borders, Yuu pauses, calling out, “...Jack?”
Tall gray-furred ears perk up, the massive figure they were on freezing at the call of his name. Jack turned around slowly, almost in confusion at being called out to. But seeing it was Yuu who called to him, his wide-eyed expression shifted, his eyebrows creasing as his eyes darted to the dorm before moving back to Yuu, “Why are you outside?”
“No, no, good boy. This is still my property. I ask the questions first. What are you doing out here?” Yuu raises an eyebrow, walking closer to Jack and watching as he seemed to grow more nervous.
“I was…Just on my morning jog…”
“...At 7:30am?” Yuu smiles, tilting her at different angles with each question, “Without Vil? In your school uniform? Walking at a leisurely pace?”
“Yes, what of it?”
Yuu smiled, covering her mouth as she playfully batted at Jack’s arm, the other freshman scowling and twitching his body away from her hits, “Aw~. Were you checking on me?”
“NO, stop hitting me!”
“Oh, by the seven. I lived to see the day! Jack Howl, caring for his classmates. His heart has softened! He shows his emotions on his sleeve! His tail is wagging with glee!” “Shut up! It’s not!” Jack quickly looked behind him, just to double check his tail wasn’t actually wagging before he turned back to Yuu, “That’s not important! Why are you outside? Go back inside!”
“No? I’m going to class.” Yuu shrugs, moving to walk past him before the towering freshman steps in their path, “Jack. I was in a silly goofy mood, but not enough for this. Step aside.”
Shaking his head, Jack folds his arms in front of his chest, “No. You’re injured. You should be resting, not going to school. We’ll bring you your notes or something. Go back home.”
“No~.” Yuu tried to step past Jack again, only to lock them both into a half-step and jump dance that quickly had Yuu groaning in frustration, “Fucking move your enormous self!”
“No! You’re going back to Ramshackle to rest properly.” Jack moves forward, hands braced to clearly pick Yuu up to carry them back to the dorm physically.
“Jack.” Yuu steps back, a hand held up in a motion of ‘Stop’, “If you fucking touch me, I will eject blood on you so hard it’ll bruise you and never come out of your jacket.”
Jack instantly steps back, hands pulling back to his sides in mild fear. He…had no idea if that was even a thing. Was it a thing? Could Yuu actually somehow spray him with blood with enough pressure to harm him physically? He didn’t want to find out. Looking away, Jack steps back another pace, “I just…Should you be walking around? You don’t look good…”
Yuu sighed, tilting their head back, “I’m…gonna live. Don’t worry about it, I’m gonna get a quick pain potion from Crewel and just…fucking deal.” Rolling their neck, they shrug their shoulders and finally falling in step beside Jack to slap his back, “Come on, good boy. We got an education to get.”
“...” Jack sighed, quickly falling into pace with Yuu’s lazy stride, “Stop calling me that. Leona-Senpai keeps mocking me for it.”
“Good, you’re too big. You need to be mocked before you get any taller.”
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The walk to the main building was longer than Yuu cared to remember. It was only longer with Jack constantly pointing out that Yuu counted as ‘ill’ and that it would make sense for them to skip class for the day. Then, when Yuu would simply state they were fine, Jack would offer to just carry them on his back to the school since they were clearly in pain.
“Jack, you’re very sweet. I will literally bleed on you just to prove a point. Drop it.”
The beastman huffed, looking away in annoyance but not bringing it up anymore on their walk. But in the semi-crowded hallways, Jack didn't leave for his own class. He looked conflicted, glancing at Yuu then down the hall to where he was supposed to be. He didn’t want to leave his friend unattended. The scent of their blood was stronger the longer he walked with them and he could only guess how much stronger it would get during the day. Looking around, he could see the other beastmen glancing at them in various degrees of concern and bewilderment.
“Don’t you have to go to class?”
Looking from their surroundings, Jack turned back to Yuu. He sometimes forgot just how small they felt beside him. Sure they weren't the shortest of their friends and they wore heels whenever they could, not to mention they fit into Night Raven almost too well with the number of students they've sent to the medical wing. But smelling their blood, seeing how tired and simply weathered they looked…it made a part of him want to just scoop them into his arms. Try to hum and growl the obvious pain away, like how his own parents did when he hurt himself in his childhood.
But, he'd rather Yuu actually spray him like some kind of demented blood skunk than say that to them, "Yeah I'm…Yuu. You know you smell…weird right?"
The look in Yuu's eyes literally made a bead of cold sweat form at his temple. Piercing yellow eyes quickly looking away from deep, near soulless appearing black pupils as he stuttered. Yuu somehow managed to learn Crewel-Sensei's famous "I will skin you alive and wear it as a coat" glare, something that quickly put anyone on edge because they weren't sure if they'd actually try to do it.
"Not! Not like 'smell bad' weird! Just…off…like…" he blushes, a hand coming up to nervously thumb at a pinned back ear, trying to find the right words, "You…you smell like a lady…"
The glare had thankfully faded to a simple "That was the dumbest thing I ever heard in my life" expression. Yuu tilted their head both in question and to look Jack directly in his sheepish eyes,"..." They sigh, pinching the bridge of their nose and gesturing down the hall with their other hand, "Jack, go to class."
"But-"
"Go to class."
"Bye, Yuu."
They sigh, watching Jack's hunched figure scurry down the hall and into a classroom. Honestly, the fucking men of this school…
With a spin on their heel, missing the crowd of beastmen who jump and scramble out of their way, they walk toward the teacher's lounge. Hopefully, they'll catch Crewel before he made his way to homeroom for the morning roll call.
Instead, Yuu ran into Jamil and Kalim. The two second-years standing in front of a classroom and seeming to be arguing. Grim held in one of Jamil’s arms and clearly pouting. Whether it was from the lazy hold or his own bad mood, Yuu couldn't tell.
"I can take Grim with me to class. You already have issues focusing and Grim won't be any help in that avenue."
Kalim pouts, trying to take Grim from Jamil only to be denied each time, "Come on! You won't cuddle with him and he'll be so sad until lunch. Shouldn't we do our best to keep him happy until Yuu is feeling better?"
Jamil rolls his eyes, smacking Kalim’s hand away once again, "Yuu doesn't even try to keep Grim happy at all times. He can handle not being cradled for a few hours."
Yuu walks up beside the two, hands easily snatching Grim from Jamil’s grasp in his surprise, "I don't indulge him, Jamil. There's a difference." Yuu smiles, feeling Grim instantly start purring under her grip, shifting him until he was able to rest his arms on her shoulders in a lazy hug, "Sup buddy?"
"Why the hell are you here?"
"Hello to you too, Jamil, my love."
Grim grumbles, nuzzling into Yuu's shoulder, but pulling his ears back at their scent, "You still smell weird…" his grumbles turning into purrs as Yuu scratches behind his ear.
"Yeah. I'm still on the bleed, but I should be ok."
"How!?" Jamil looked ready to either burst a blood vessel, or simply grapple them to the ground to drag them back to Ramshackle. Which was fair, but Yuu felt like if anyone besides Grim touched them they'd start swinging.
Yuu shrugs, "It's fine. I'm…living. I can handle a day at school. Did it all the time back home."
"Yeah, I don't think that was healthy…" Kalim gives them a nervous smile, clearly wanting to gather them up in a hug but having enough sense to take note of their expression, "You look…upset…"
"Oh, I am. But, that's normal."
Jamil finally relaxed, if only to pinch the bridge of his nose, "Why are you here? You should go home, you're not well."
"Jamil." Yuu placed a hand on one of his shoulders, stepping closer to press their sides together and let the second-year wrap his arms around them, even though the contact was slowly worsening their mood, "It's gonna be fine. I'm on my way to get a pain potion from Crewel. I'm going to be sitting all day. So unless by some miraculous, horrible, divine intervention and periods become contiguous? Everyone else is gonna be fine, too."
"..." Kalim suddenly stepped back, his hands covering his lower stomach in brief panic, "Wait, it's contiguous?"
"No, you fucking- I'm gonna go." Yuu pulls away from Jamil, managing to pry the second-year's hands from their jacket, " I'm gonna go before I clock Kalim in the face."
"Me!? What'd I do!? I'm sorry!"
"Stop talking." Yuu took a breath, moving their arms to properly support Grim slung over their shoulder, "No offense Kalim,  but the sound of your voice is activating my fight response. So I'm leaving before I put it into action." They nodded in farewell, almost stomping away from the confused duo. Missing the panic that slowly grew over Jamil’s face before he pulled his phone out and started texting someone.
Yuu walked down the hallway, doing her best to keep her mood above the poverty line. Beastmen bobbed and weaved through the crowds, watching Yuu through doorways and running back around corners when they saw she had noticed their staring. Normally she’d attribute it to Savanaclaw reacting to one of her and Leona’s public squabbles, but too many uniforms were sporting non-yellow ribbons to only be the Beast King’s dorm.
Showing up to the ornate door of the teachers' lounge, Yuu saw a group of beastmen from various dorms crowded around it, whispering sharply among themselves. Yuu stood back a few moments before speaking up, “Are you guys gonna move or go in?” 
The yowl the cat beastmen let out made everyone jump. Yuu stepped back as they all turned to look at her in what could be described as ‘horror’. 
“...Um…Hi?”
“Do you need help!?”
“...” Yuu looked at the other beastmen, each one almost shaking with panicked expressions, “I gotta…get into the teachers’ lounge. So can you guys move?”
They move as a unit, one of them even shoving another to get him out of their path faster. They stood in a single file line beside the door, looking at them in a mix of respect and fear. One started to scramble to remove his jacket, placing it on the ground for Yuu to walk on as if it were some kind of tiny red carpet. The taller boy smiles sheepishly and gestured for Yuu to go into the room.
Yuu looked down, doing their best to not walk on the jacket, “Okay…Thank you…Please leave.”
There was a second scrambling, the same student shoving the other straight to the ground as they all tried to leave. The cat beastman doubled back. He stood fidgeting with his fingers and biting his lip. Looking at him closer Yuu could see he was from Heartslabyul. Seeming to gather up his courage, he looked at her with a firm nod, “You’re doin’ great!'' Then he turned tail and ran down the hall. The group of them peeking from around the corner before fully disappearing.
Grim pulled his head from Yuu’s shoulder, looking at them in sleepy confusion, “What was that about?”
“I…I wish I could tell you, Grim…Let’s just go see Crewel.” Yuu leaves the jacket on the ground, stepping over it awkwardly and opening the door, “Oh, papa dog? Your favorite puppy is here.” Crewel’s head snapped around from his seat at a fast speed, Ingrid giving his neck a concerned look at the audible pop she heard from across the table, “Why?” He looked Yuu over in bewilderment, standing up and rushing  to them, “WHY ARE YOU HERE!?”
“Well, I'm in this room to get some pain relief. But, I’m in the building to go to school? That thing you guys really want me to do? To get an education or something?”
“WHY-” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to calm himself down. He bends down and places a hand on Yuu’s free shoulder, pulling her closer to speak softly, “My sweet puppy. My little mongrel. My mini menace…Why are you coming to school when you are actively bleeding from your vagina?”
“Because I’m not a little bitch?”
“You wanna repeat that?”
“Okay, okay!” Ingrid stood from her seat, gathering up the designs and fabric swatches she and Crewel were going over and quickly getting between the ‘father-daughter’ duo, “You two hotheads can cool down. Crewel, she’s here and willing to stay for classes. Now, as teachers, we’re not going to try to dissuade a student from attending classes now are we?” 
Ignoring Crewel’s grumbled response, the redheaded woman turns to Yuu. Her smile turning strained as she gets a good look at the first-year student. A part of her filing away the cutting remark of ‘hit by a truck chic’. But she keeps smiling, tilting her head in a questioning manner, “Yuu, are you…sure…you wanna go to class?”
Yuu sighed, taking one arm from supporting Grim to pinch at her nose. Copying the pose Crewel had just done only moments ago.
 Ingrid tried to keep her coo to herself. By the 7, she really behaved like a mini Crewel at times.
“Ms. Oster. I'm fine. This is totally normal, it'd actually be weirder if I didn't go to school. Unless I'm like…dying, there's no reason for me to not deal with my daily burdens while on my period. I just need a painkiller and I'll be good for the day or at least until lunch.”
Ingrid looks from the corner of her eye, taking in Crewel’s upset face before the bicolor-haired man scoffs. He rolls his eyes and turns on his heel, red bottom lace up loafers clicking against the floor.
“I swear, you were born to a damned dystopia. No one should be leaving their home, let alone their bed when bleeding like this!” He threw open the doors of a medicine cabinet roughly, fully stocked with all sorts of pain relievers though most of them were formulated for headaches. Being a teacher was hard enough, being a teacher at Night Raven College was a gauntlet.
Yuu shrugged, managing to catch the potion Crewel had flung at them. They were sure if they hadn't the teacher would have used their ‘decreased hand-eye coordination’ as a reason they shouldn't be in school. Uncorking the bottle, they gulped it down. While the pain was easing, none of the other symptoms did. They still felt awful, bloated, and as the fizzy thick syrup settled in their stomach, nauseous. 
Hearing the small groan Yuu made, Crewel clicked his tongue, “Puppy, I'm serious. Go back to bed, you're not well.” His stern tone dipped into worry on his last word, expression changed from angry to concerned as he walked closer to them.
Yuu waves not only him but Ingrid off, breathing evenly to get their body back in check, “I'll be fine…period never stopped me before, no reason for it to stop me now…” they sighed, letting Ingrid press a hand to their forehead briefly.
“...” Ingrid hummed, pulling her hand away to instead pick and straighten Yuu's uniform, “They don't have a fever…and they did manage to walk all the way up here. She might be okay to stay, Crewel…”
“Ha!” Yuu smiled at Crewel, “Get outvoted, bitch.”
“You wanna stay for classes!? Fine!?” Crewel slapped his crop in his hand out of frustration, growling under his breath before waving the crop as he walked, “Well then hurry up, puppy. Follow me to class. You're lucky it's a joint class day. Homeroom and potions will just be lectures.”
Even though Grim groaned in their arms, complaining about how boring just sitting was going to be, Yuu was pleased, “Perfect. I don't have the beans to actually measure shit out right now.”
“Amazing. It sounds like you shouldn't have come to classes.”
Ingrid chuckles, waving the two away as they leave the room, still nipping comments at each other in annoyance. Once she was sure they were gone, she whipped out her phone. Typing furiously into the teachers' chat room. If Yuu was going to be on campus, she needed to make sure Hui-Yan kept a certain someone in Diasomnia for as long as possible.
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Yuu and Crewel walked into the room, the teacher lightly shoving Yuu toward their seat, “Sit. And if I see blood on the chair when you leave, I'm dragging you back to Ramshackle.”
Their response was to quickly flip Crewel off, rushing over to their seat when the teacher raised his crop in a threatening manner. Sitting down, they nod their head in a greeting to their friends before placing Grim on the tabletop, “Sup?”
Ace and Deuce were staring wide-eyed, each leaning on the table in an effort to get a clear view of them. The duo looked at each other, then both looked across the room to Jack and Epel. Jack carrying a pinched expression, the look of guilt just barely coming across as Epel ogled aghast. The purple-haired boy gestured as subtly as he could, not wanting to call attention to himself as Crewel started to write on the board.
Deuce cleared his throat, hesitantly nudging his arm against Yuu's, “Yuu…do you really wanna be here right now? With everything going on?”
“Do you wanna die, Deuce?”
“...” The spade card soldier shared a fearful glance with Ace before answering, “No…?”
“Yeah, but you're gonna do it one day anyway. That's how I'm doing right now, so don't talk to me.”
Ace winches, tilting his head in confusion, “ If you don't feel well why didn't you just stay home?”
“Ace, I don't…wanna speak. I don't feel good. Just leave me alone and we can all get through today with our bones.”
The Heartslabyul duo clearly wanted to say something else, hoping to wear down their friend into going home. But the resting bitch face was stronger than normal, and neither wanted to test if Yuu was willing to actually attack them during class. So instead they sat quietly, taking their time to send messages with the other first years across the room.
Throughout the class, Yuu's glare only got worse. A headache almost forming from just how strained their facial muscles were. Crewel snapping his crop more than normal wasn't helping either. The professor kept dead stopping in his lecture to demand the attention of the class. Yuu didn't hear anything that would normally call his ire. Sparing a glance around the room, they noticed a few beastmen quickly look away from their eyes.
Yuu managed to make eye contact with one, the canine beastman jumping up from his seat, seeming to ready himself to vault over the table.
“SIT DOWN!” The crop hit Crewel’s desk so hard Yuu was afraid that the poor wand would just snap in half at some point.
The yell was enough to send the beastman crashing back into his seat. The Ignihyde student blushing furiously as he tried to curl away from the view of his classmates.
The class settled into an uncomfortable silence, Crewel grumbling before he turned back around to aggressively write on the chalkboard, the chalk squeaking harshly with each swipe.
Yuu sighs, gathering an already snoozing Grim into their arms and using him as a mock pillow. Laying their head down, they closed their eyes and welcomed the half nap that quickly took them over.
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If coming to classes was a ‘bad idea’, going PE was a horrible, shitty idea. Yuu had only gotten into their uniform by the grace of the Seven and however many other icons decided to help. The fact they'd need to change again after class only made their stomach churn.
By the time they walked out to the field, they were the last one to line up. Jack sends them a glance but straightens up as their teachers call for their attention.
Vargas boomed out a laugh, “Now that you’re all here, let’s get those muscles primed and trained! Let’s do some quick stretches then you’ll pick which training to do today. Either endurance training with me or strength training with Professor Dubhghall.”
Iomhar Dubhghall was a tall, quiet man. From afar he looked like an average person, but standing closer, you saw just how large the man was, broad-shouldered and long-limbed. While he did teach physical education like Vargas, he spent most of his time focusing on a sparring-centered class that was only open to the 3rd-years. Yuu had met him only a handful of times, delivering staff handouts in Crowley's place was the only real way their paths crossed. He rarely spoke but Yuu had the impression he was pleased enough with her. He had once called her back during a delivery to teach her a few moves on a practice dummy before sending her on her way.
Yuu didn’t mind the other gym teacher, she kind of preferred his quiet judgment over Vargas’ bombastic demands to ‘build muscle’. Overall, a more balanced teacher.
Sadly, neither PE activity was high on their list to do. They groaned and grumbled through the stretches, Jack muttering back to them that the stretches were almost over, to hold on for just a bit longer. Touching their toes made their stomach roll, having to swallow down what they feared really was vomit. Once the warm-ups were done, Yuu groaned, sitting down on the ground as the other students quickly divided themselves among the activities.
Epel tried to walk closer, a nervous expression on his face before he was called back from one side of the field. Someone obviously taunting him about not being brave enough to spar. The Pomefiore first-year growled, looking at Jack before the two of them nodded, Epel running after the student who mocked him. Instead of picking an activity, Jack stood vigilant beside their seated form, eyes scanning the crowd. Every now and again, he’d growl or increase his glare in a direction.
Ace and Deuce ran around the track, Grim hot on their ankles as they would look over every time they passed her. The Heartslabyul duo checking on her in their own way.
Vargas looks from the side, opening his mouth to call Yuu over, only to stop at a firm hand resting on his shoulder. Iomhar didn’t turn to face Vargas’ confused glance, only shaking his head. Vargas huffed, folding his arms but not calling out to Yuu, “I don’t see why she should be allowed to sit out…If she had the energy to come to class, she’s got the energy to build her muscle.”
Iomhar shook his head again, “Just because she had the will to get to the mountain doesn’t mean she has the might to climb it. Not today at least…”
“What does today have anything to do with it?”
“...” The other teacher looked at Vargas with an exasperated look, “Do you not check your phone?” 
Yuu sat silently, hands gripping and ripping into the grass in a method to distract themselves. Luckily, Jack kept his strange guard around her. The Savanaclaw student every now and again rushing around to grab and offer Yuu a cold water bottle that she would only accept half the time. Mid swallow, a familiar Heartslabyul student walked closer, ears pinned back as Jack growled at the cat beastmen.
“Jack…Calm down.” Yuu titled their head at the Heartslabyul beastman, questioning glare just a bit fiercer than necessary, “What do you want?”
“...” The cat beastman suddenly got nervous, shuffling his feet and looking down before breathing out, “We made you something…Come see?”
“...I guess?” Yuu groans, standing to their feet and sighing, “What’s this thing?”
The student perks up, gesturing behind him to the bleachers, “It’s under there! Me and some others worked hard on it so it’d be extra comfortable for you.” A beat of silence passes before the beastman steps closer, “Do you need me to carry you?”
Fuck no? That was what Yuu was going to say. Instead, they had to force down a gag as they felt themselves being scooped up and jostled into large firm arms. Once the nausea faded they realized they were in Jack’s arms. Their Savanaclaw friend glaring daggers at the shorter student.
“I’ll carry them. Just lead the way…” Jack looks at their bewildered face, ears pinning back in embarrassment, “Sorry…Should've asked…”
“You shouldn’t have in the first place.”
Jack hummed in what had better be agreement, following the jittery Heartslabyul student behind the bleachers. When they arrived, Yuu still wasn’t sure what they were supposed to be looking at. On the ground, protected from the dirt by a tarp, was a pile of fabrics. It looked like a mess of school uniforms all piled together and formed to give it a side so that someone could lay lounge style. Looking longer. Yuu noticed a few pieces of clothing that belonged to her friends. Epel’s ruffled dress shirt, Ace’s tie with a playing card tucked into the back folds, and what seemed to be Deuce’s track hoodie.
Silence passed, until Yuu spoke up, “What the fuck am I looking at?”
The group all deflates, turning to start whispering to each other. ‘They don’t like it.’ ‘I told you we should have put food nearby!’. ‘We didn’t get enough of their friends' stuff…’
“No, don’t ignore me, tell me what the fuck I’m looking at!”
Jack huffed but didn’t demand an answer either. Readjusting them in his arms before turning away with a mutter of, “Pitiful…” Exiting the bleachers as the group of beastmen start to mobilize again.
“I’ll go grab snacks!” “You! Go grab some blankets and pillows from your dorm!”
“How did I not think of it!? Pomefiore is a haven of proper materials!”
Yuu scowled, upset from still being unanswered, “Jack. What in the green eyes of the thorn fairy was that bullshit?”
Jack glanced away, ears pinning back as a conflicted expression crossed his face, “...” He opened his mouth.
“Jack. If you tell me something along the lines of, ‘I smell like a lady’ again…something…will happen to both of us…”
And his mouth snapped shut, the clinking of his teeth being the only noise he made. Reaching back to their plot of free space, Jack moves to place Yuu back on the ground.
“No.”
“Alright…” Jack stood up straight, keeping Yuu in his arms. Eyes scanning the surrounding area for various “dangers”.
From the side, Vargas looked up from his phone and groaned, “Iomhar, look at this! They’re not even sitting anymore! Howl’s carrying them around. I’ve had plenty of muscle cramps in my life, this can’t be as bad as everyone is claiming it is.”
Iomhar again shook his head, “Yuu’s already primed to fight anyone they please. It’s even more so now and I don’t believe any fondness they hold will keep them from actually trying to hurt someone…So if they attack you, I’m not pulling them off of your neck.”
“Phhht. I doubt they’d be able to reach my gloriously robust neck. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of fighting Little Ramshackle?”
“I don’t fight children, Vargas. I at most spar with them, and at least, train them.”
“Oh, and I assume flipping the Schoenheit boy three times in one match was sparring.”
“It was. It was in the ring and everything.”
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Yuu glared at her friends, Grim held firmly in her arms, “Literally…All of you?”
Epel smiled, a bead of sweat just barely rolling down his temple as he tried to steady a clearly distressed Sebek who was clawing at the hallway wall in a bent-over position, “Sorry…Sebek’s really not feeling well. Ace, Deuce, and Jack are helping me since Diasomnia gives me the creeps. We’ll try to be back by lunch! To keep you company!”
Yuu shook her head, walking past the group of nervous boys, “Don’t worry about it. Take little bitch boy Sebek back to Diasomnia. I’ll…take notes or something I don’t know…”
Deuce spoke up, nervously rubbing the back of his head, “Do you…wanna come with us-”
“NO!” Sebek jumps up from his huddled position, the panic clear in his expression as though Deuce just suggested they all go line up to punch Malleus in the face. He realized his outburst, turning to Yuu with a fearful expression, “Uh…I mean…Please don’t come to Diasomnia.”
“...” Yuu blinked before shaking her head and walking into Trien’s room. Whatever was going on today with everyone was something she did not have the bones nor spoons to try to figure out.
The potion had started to fade, already feeling the tightening pressure doing nothing to help their rolling empty stomach. Their mood had also not gotten any better. For the rest of gym class, the same beastmen students had continuously called Jack to carry them back behind the bleachers and show off increasingly elaborate piles of fabric. They still refused to just tell them what the fuck the mess was supposed to be, only growing more determined to ‘get it right’. But when they had failed by the end of the class, they had actually apologized to them profusely and wished them luck before rushing off to their own classes.
So, by Night Raven boy standards, very fucking weird.
Yuu should have asked at least one of her friends to stay behind in class with them. One of them to act as a buffer against the wide-eyed stares of various first and second-year students who possibly hadn’t seen them yet today. She clicks her tongue, looking around the room and breathing a sigh of relief seeing Ruggie. The hyena beastman had a half-eaten donut shoved in his mouth, slowly chewing to make it disappear, and rifling through his beaten-up bag. And just her luck the seat next to him was empty.
They sat, letting Grim crawl out of their arms and getting comfortable, as much as they could with the cramps slowly returning and the feeling of a moist hand towel against their pussy, “Hey Ruggie.”
“Hey-Hold the fuck on…” Ruggie whips around, looking at them as though they were back from the dead. The hyena leaned closer to them, sniffling deeply before pulling back so hard he almost tipped out of his seat, “By the seven, are you okay!?”
Grim gave Yuu a nervous glance, waving a paw as he tried to warn Ruggie to calm down his concern, “Uh…Hey listen-”
“Ruggie, do you wanna be okay?”
“...” The Savanaclaw sophomore actually looked down, seeming to weigh his options before he looked up and nodded, “Yeah?”
“Okay, then I’m gonna need something from you.”
“Sure! What ya need? You want some water? I think I got a bottle left, hell just take the one I had too. You must be hungry, you’ve probably been working hard all day. Let me see if I got anything in here to eat-”
“Ruggie.” Once Yuu was certain they had his attention, they motioned him to lean closer again. He did, though he looked mildly reluctant to do so. Once he was close enough, Yuu gripped him by the collar and pulled him even closer to whisper, “I want you to shut the fuck up. Just…Just shut the fuck up for the whole class. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Less intensity.”
“Yeah, I can do that…Do you want the water though?”
“...” Yuu sighed. Maybe water would help their growing nausea, “Fine. And a sucker if you got it.”
Ruggie turned and searched through his bag, quickly pulling out a fresh water bottle and a handful of brightly colored suckers to dump on the table, “Here you go. Made them myself. The yellow ones are lemon; you like lemon right-”
“Ruggie.”
“Sorry.” The hyena raised his hands, scooting away as much as he could without pressing against the other student beside him.
The joint history class was passing by. That being the best way Yuu could describe it. Trein’s dry voice, while being the dullest kind of ASMR, was a calming effect to Yuu's thoughts. While it was history here, Yuu couldn't help but hear the lecture as a very detailed fairytale being read aloud in a fancy library. She could feel herself finally relaxing, stomach being only slightly appeased by the sweet-flavored lemon suckers.
If she had bothered to look around, Yuu would have noticed how the beastmen around her were finally calming too. The clearly distressed mood from the Ramshackle prefect doing more damage than she thought it would have.
But the peace was broken, just as Yuu crunched down on their second sucker, the cracking being more audible than they were expecting. But seeing how Trein didn't stop speaking or even turn to them, they grabbed another sucker and started to open it-
“Sensei? Is Ramshackle supposed to be eating?”
It was like time had frozen. Trein’s writing had stopped abruptly, the chalk in hand snapping off in his tightened grip. Every beastman nearly stopped breathing, turning to glare at the Scarabia student who had spoken up.
Ruggie turned to Yuu, opening his mouth to tell them to not mind the student, they could keep eating their sucker. Only to jump back as Yuu stood up, slamming their hands on the table.
Trein felt his face pinch, watching Yuu gather up the half-empty water bottle and numerous unopened suckers. He sighed as Yuu walked toward the small wastebasket by the door, “Yuu, you don’t need to-”
“No, it’s fine!” Yuu shrugged in an almost frantic motion, slamming the water bottle into the wastebasket hard enough the poor plastic bowl had nearly tipped over, “It’s fine. I just can’t fucking have anything!” They had moved onto the suckers, whipping each one into the basket with enough force that everyone was able to hear the candy being broken on impact, “It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine!” At the end, they simply threw all of the suckers into the trash.
The room remained silent, waiting in bated breath as Yuu stomped back to their seat, ignoring the concerned looks from Grim and Ruggie. Without saying anything, Ruggie slipped his hand into Yuu’s, holding it firmly as a form of silent support. They looked over, expression clear that they were not pleased, but didn’t pull their hand away.
Trein looked over his class. The beastmen not close to Yuu were spending their energy glaring at the student who had spoken up, those closer were trying to subtly pass items to Bucchi. Hidden juice packs, different candies, savory snacks. All things that were forbidden in his classroom besides a Pomefiore beastmen trying to hand over his gallon-sized personalized water bottle. He sighed. If he had the time to properly speak, he would have told the student to pay attention to the lesson and not his classmates sitting silently, minding their own business.
Sighing, he turned back to the board, grabbing a fresh piece of chalk, “Now…as I was saying…”
The lesson continued on, the air clearly tense as Yuu started to tap on their table in an increasingly aggressive manner.
 Trein turns to the class, “Can anyone tell me what was the tactic used in the battle against invaders of the East Kingdom?” Seeing no one raising their hand, he unfortunately fell back on muscle memory. Yuu had shown great promise in his class, excitedly asking questions about historical events and even reading text for the second or third-year classes on their own time. So it didn't occur to him that calling on them in their current state was not the right move to make, “Yuu? Would you care to enlighten the class?”
“...” Yuu stood from their seat, leaving behind a confused Grim and Ruggie, and walked out of the room. The door slamming hard behind them and rattling the surrounding frames.
Trein sighed, turning back to the chalkboard and continued writing, “Does anyone have the answer?”
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The botanical gardens were always pleasant. Perfect temperature no matter the season, full of fresh smelling air. Even when the magical dome had its annual rainshower, Yuu wasn't above gathering their friends and sitting under a tree to chat in the sprinkle. Which is probably why the gardens were the first place their legs took them.
Just where he normally was, Leona laid down with his arms folded under his head in a relaxed pose. The third-year napping peacefully in his patch of overgrown grass. She sat beside Leona, moving to stretch her back as she did during gym.
Leona’s eyes snap open after a few beats of silence. He sat up on his elbows, looking at Yuu with wide eyes, “...” He tilted his head, eyes flickering to their lower body, “Are you okay?”
Yuu sat up, winding back their fist and punched Leona directly in the chest.
“AUH! You little-” Leona had pulled his hand back, fully prepared to backhand Yuu in retaliation before he paused. Taking in Yuu's face, he noted how pathetic they looked even though they were glaring at him. He groaned and clenched his hand tightly. Having to remember his key reasons for not just striking back the non-magical student at every sucker punch Yuu managed to land on him. ‘They were younger than him’. ‘They didn’t have magic’. ‘They knew better than to just hit him, so they clearly want him to do something’. He breathed in, putting his hand back down and raising an eyebrow at the angry scowl on Yuu’s face, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with everyone else!?” Yuu waved their arms around, as though Leona could see the examples all around them, “This whole fucking day, everyone’s been acting so weird! Jack was basically a fucking bodyguard for me during gym! Hell, Ruggie was almost trying to hand-feed me during history!”
Leona mumbled under his breath, realizing just how late in the day it had become, “Fuck, I overslept…”
“Plus, like, I think every beastman is acting like I’m about to explode if they don’t treat me like the most delicate little flower.” Yuu turned to Leona, confusion easily bleeding into their scowl, “Like, what the fuck is going on today!?”
“...” Leona points to between Yuu’s legs, nose wrinkling as he sniffles the air softly “What’s happening down there?”
“I’m on my period…”
“Yeah, because I clearly know what the hell that is, Feral.”
Yuu groans out, the force of it almost making them slump over before they snap back up, “I’m bleeding out my pussy. Don’t freak out, it’s normal for me,”
Leona brought his fingers to his temple, sighing, “Yeah, that’ll do it…”
“Do what!?”
“Send everyone into a fucking panic. You smell like you’re in active labor…” Leona suddenly looked at them from the corner of his eyes, “You aren’t, right? If that lizard actually knocked you up while you’re still in school-”
“I’m not pregnant! This is literally happening because I’m not pregnant!”
Leona leaned away, doing his best to not roll his eyes, “Okay. By the seven…I'm just saying if he did, you can sue him over that.”
“Leona, I'm not suing my boyfriend just because you've got some kinda one-sided blood feud with him.”
“One; it's not one-sided. Two; it's sound legal advice. You two had a binding agreement and if he broke it you have right to-”
“Words can not express how much I want you to shut the fuck up…”
Leaning back, Leona scoffed. Arms going back to their folded position as he reclined on the grass, eyes closing, “Fine. Get fucked over for all I care…” After a beat of silence, he sighs out, cracking an eye to look at Yuu, “What happened? You're supposed to be in history. You're a little goody for Trein normally.”
“...” Yuu sighs, taking the standing silent invitation and laying down beside Leona, hands folded over the growingly tense muscles of their pelvis, “It's just been…a lot today. I can normally handle my period just fine but…” 
The following silence quickly sombered their conversation. Leona gave Yuu his full attention, raising an eyebrow as a silent gesture for Yuu to continue. His concern almost showing on his face when they don’t respond to him, “Yuu-”
“YUU!?”
Leona’s ears press against his head at the yell echoing in the garden. He grumbles under his breath and sits up again, sniffing in the direction of the yell before calling out, “Stop making so much noise. We’re over here.”
Ruggie comes rushing around the corner, Grim just barely hanging onto him from his shoulder. In his arms were blankets and multiple kinds of snacks and drinks, “There you are! Are you ok? Ya hungry? I got some cold juice on the way over here. Leona, how's it looking? Are the contractions far apart still?”
… Yuu rolls over to fully press their face into the ground, frustrated screaming slowly growing in volume as they banged their fists against the grass. Ruggie had attempted to rush over, dropping the bundle in his arms only to be stopped by Leona’s outstretched hand.
“Calm down, she’s not pregnant. Just being a little bitch.”
“Wait, what?”
The screaming had died down, Ruggie and Leona speaking in quick mumbles to each other. Grim slipped off of Ruggie’s shoulder, cautiously nudging at Yuu’s prone arm.
“Hold on…this is normal?”
Leona shrugs, running a hand through his hair as he sighed, “I’m guessing from how pissed they’re being about people worrying over them…” His green eyes looked over Ruggie, noting his empty arms before he scowled, “And where’s my lunch?”
Ruggie rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue and picking at the collar of his too-big button-up, “Well, forgive me for being more worried about the potentially pregnant person about to pop out a baby to get you a damn sandwich…”
“That’s not an excuse to not do your job-”
Grim whined, pushing against Yuu’s arm even harder than before, “Yuuuuuu! Come on, henchman, I'm hungry! Don’t you wanna go get lunch-”
“NO!” Yuu snaps up, their yelling sending Grim rolling away from them and scrambling to hide behind an equally stunned Leona and Ruggie, “No! I wanna take a shit and die. Just fucking pass away from the mortal coil!”
“Yuu-”
“It shouldn’t be this fucking hard!” Yuu pulled themselves up from the ground, kneeling as they look at their hands, trying to find the answers to their boiling-over questions and concerns, “It’s normal! It’s fucking basic as fuck for me normally! Periods shouldn’t be this hard, things shouldn’t be this hard!”
Ruggie and Leona share a look with each other, the second-year trying to step closer, “Hey, bud, it’s okay-”
“IT’S NOT RUGGIE, AND THAT’S THE PROBLEM!” Yuu was almost shaking from the force of their welling emotions, “Everyone is acting like something’s wrong! And that has never happened to me past just ‘Oh fuck, your period started? You need a tampon?’ And that’s it! Like, I knew things were different here, obviously. But I don’t think about it, you know? But now I am because everyone is acting weird when it’s just my period, it's not a big deal! But it is a big deal here! A lot of shit is a big deal here. And I'm thinking about where I came from a lot now and holy shit, I'm never gonna see those people or places again. And I'm okay with that! But, oh my fucking God, I am craving comforts and shit that I'm never going to have again. And I'm spiraling thinking about the few things I do regret and how I'm never gonna be able to fix them, I won't even get to try! Does anyone even know I'm gone? Did anyone care? I'm in a place where I don't actually exist, bleeding out my pussy with basically no support, and I'm realizing I have never felt more alone.”
The only sound was Yuu’s harsh breathing, the magicless human trying to take deep breaths to calm her rolling stomach and fight against the tears threatening to spill. The three males all shared a look, having a silent conversation with a series of eyebrow raises and glares. In the end Leona sighed, leaning over to place a hand on Yuu’s shoulder.
“Oi…Feral…You okay?”
“...Yeah…” Yuu’s face pinches up, a single sound of struggle slipping out as she shook her head, “No…” Turning, she dry heaved into the grass.
“Oh, by the Seven…” Leona moved, reaching over and pulling Yuu’s hair back in time for them to let out a wet-sounding retch that finally brought up a bit of watery bile. He held their hair, silently directing Ruggie to wrap up the food items in one of the many blankets. He only looked back to Yuu once the vomiting had stopped, helping them to sit up, “Feel better now?”
Yuu looked at Leona, tears clear in their eyes and quickly losing the fight to not cry. They shake their head again, tilting it down as they whimper, “I wanna go home…”
“Alright…” Leona slips his arms around Yuu’s body, easily scooping the smaller into his hold and cradling them close, “You shoulda stayed home in the first place…”
“Shut up…”
Leona looks to Ruggie, using one of his hands to grip the makeshift bag of treats, “Watch the weasel, I'm taking them home.” He made his way out of the garden, calling over his shoulder, “And you better have my lunch by the time I’m back!”
Ruggie sighed, sharing a look with Grim before he gave a disgusted look to the puddle of vomit on the ground, “I should find a hose or something to clean this up…smells awful-”
“Uh…Ruggie?” Once Grim was sure he had the hyena’s attention he pointed a paw to the top of the greenhouse dome, noting the fast-rolling dark clouds, sparks of green lightning seen inside them, “Should we be worried about that…?”
“...Fuck…”
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“Cozy?” Leona pulled away, making sure Yuu was completely covered by the blanket. The prefect was curled up on the couch, sniffling and getting themselves fully comfortable before nodding their head, “Good.” Leona pulled a basket closer, the snacks Ruggie had gathered filling it almost to the top as he offered a juice box to them.
Yuu took the box, the tops of their arms leaving the warmth of the blankets to open the drink. Sipping once from the tiny straw, before speaking, “Thank you…”
“Yeah, yeah. You owe me for this. Coming to school when you were basically sick and then throwing a tantrum like that…you know better, Feral.” but looking at Yuu's pitiful face, he felt his own frown soften. Kneeling down, he pets at Yuu's head, subtly checking for a fever, “...Are you gonna be alright alone?” he asked it so softly Yuu almost missed it.
They smile, sniffling and wiping at their eyes, “Yeah…I think I just need a good cry…if it gets bad, I'll call someone. Promise.”
He nods his head, standing up and walking to the doorway of the lounge, “On or off?” At Yuu's soft call of ‘off’, he flipped the light switch. With the room in darkness, Leona gave one last grunt of goodbye, walking away as he heard Yuu's silent crying turn to choked-back sobs.
Outside of Ramshackle, he noted the shift in weather. The clouds he had noticed on the walk in had completely taken over the sky, still rolling like the bubbles of an overheating potion. And as he stepped onto the path leading away from the building, he saw a growing spark of green lightning. The lights crackling and seeming to follow the path of something, or rather someone walking in the direction to Ramshackle.
Leona sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking forward. Seems like he'd have to be the one to talk to Malleus…
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fluidstatick · 5 months ago
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I dunno, man. (game changer finale talk under the cut)
I love the chemistry of Brennan, Jess, Grant, Ally, Rekha, Katie, and Zac. An excellent spread of comedy styles, and they're all tight enough friends that they can strategize with (and against) each other easily. Ally, hiding behind Brennan, who is hiding behind Rekha, just in a different context -- Truly only this crew could pull off something like that. The Landlord and Granma Sweetie are such perfect distillations of Jess and Zac's energy.
Names aside, I thought Jack and Jackson were too similar. Katie and Grant were both trying to be the straight (lol) man in the building, and for me, that meant they cancelled each other out.
Adjustable Side Table Walnut was absolutely robbed. Rekha had pitch perfect banter with everyone (except Steven), did an excellent job figuring everyone else out, and didn't give any hints until it was time to boot Brennan. She absolutely should have won, on merit of playing the game thoroughly and hilariously.
As for the ratfish? Well.
Listen, I never watched Adult Swim. I only know Tim and Eric by name. I've never watched anything they've done. It was only last monday when I learned that this guy is Tim:
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And this guy is Eric:
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I literally thought that he was some sort of amateur astrophysics youtuber (?) and that gif was from some video he made about quantum mechanics, or string theory or something. I blame the turtleneck.
Anyway, I digress. Just from watching this, I don't find Eric Wareheim funny. According to a few posts I've seen in the dropout tags, though, his brand is mostly awkward anti-comedy anyway? Nothing wrong with that, it's just not my speed. It felt strange to go ive him so much power over the game. Sam was probably going for an impartial judge, someone who doesn't know the cast personally and can decide who their favorite is without the cast members themselves influencing their decision. That being said, there are so many different people Sam could've gone with. I still think it shoulda been Sam Reigel, cosplaying as Sam Reich. "Look at me. I'm the Sam now! I've been present for the duration!" Could've been any number of LA based comedians, really.
Eric's choices felt completely left field. Ally started strong with their BLeeM gambit, sure, but I really think Adjustable Side Table Walnut deserved more shine. Katie winning solely for the art piece felt anticlimactic, especially because the painting felt like a Katie piece, not a Jack Stryker piece.
The cast not getting to meet Eric felt unfair, too, unless for some reason he had to leave before the final table was assembled and shot.
The cackle at the end didn't feel like a cliffhanger so much as a taunt. We get it, Samuel Dalton, you're still out here wrecking shop and our frantic theorizing on discord and reddit is all for naught.
anyway tl;dr - Ratfish 🫤. Justice For Side Table Walnut! MeDeCine.
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mitigatedchaos · 2 months ago
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"Sell Signal"
So there's now a tool to generate the 'painting process' for AI-generated images.
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As some of you probably know, I've used AI image generation myself. I've downloaded Stable Diffusion and some associated tools and played around with them extensively in order to determine their limits - and they very much do have their limits.
I've posted probably a dozen or so AI-generated images by now.
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When I was still getting a sense of the limits, I used Stable Diffusion a lot. (I also experimented with Midjourney.) Now that I know what the limits are, I don't use it all that often.
I feel that it doesn't adequately reflect my artistic voice.
I'm not ashamed of what I've used AI image generation for. You probably already figured this out, but the Monday Cat was AI-generated, and the text was added manually in a program similar to Photoshop. I feel no need to misrepresent this to you, because I'm not trying to misrepresent my artistic talent.
This new tool to retroactively generate painting process is the single most-damning critique of AI art that I have ever seen.
First, we know that there are art buyers and viewers in many mediums, such as oil painting, statues, films, and video games. Each of these mediums has its advantages and its disadvantages. If AI art is worthwhile, then viewers or buyers will seek it out for its merits.
Trying to steal the production process that traditional painters use to show that their work isn't computer-generated shows a total lack of faith in AI art as a medium.
Second, for the individual artist, it suggests that they don't know the strengths of their own medium! That's not a good sign for an artist, especially one whose strength is supposed to be in that medium.
Third, again for the individual artist, it suggests that they have nothing to say. This seems to be a recurring problem for AI art boosters on Twitter. Even people using AI to do fanart seem to be better positioned on this last one.
If only Twitter AI art boosters were producing AI art, we could almost rule it out as a dead medium - which is a remarkably quick turnaround.
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thelofian · 4 months ago
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Daily Booster Table (TTCC DBT) for 2024-08-05, Merit Monday (Week 32), 🚀🌕 Neil Armstrong’s Birthday | 🦪 National Oyster Day
Thank you Smirky Flippengadget for today's data!
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billdenbrough · 1 month ago
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microfic monday
KEVIN/AARON • aftg • STAR
some actors (well, kevin, anyway) au kevaaron – thank u to ash for throwing out a prompt in the mixtape/exchange server when i was spinning my wheels LOL i’m in an achy zone!! what’s it like to get everything u ever wanted & discover maybe it’s not quite it. haha. this one might merit a revisit
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reminiscingtonight · 2 years ago
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Good Girls Gone Bad
Leah Williamson x Reader
Word Count: 1.3k
A/N: I usually don’t post back-to-back, but I was inspired by *that* clip
[WOSO Masterlist]
“Okay, which one of you did it?”
For 8am on a Monday morning, Katie McCabe can be loud. Even slightly hungover after a late night out partying, the girl can still break eardrums. 
Usually you’d be hyping her up, causing a ruckus with your platonic soulmate and making the locker room slightly more chaotic, but as mentioned before, you too are suffering the consequences of a late night out at the club with your best friend. You’re huddled by Lia, hoping the calm Swiss would dissuade Katie from impeding upon your self-imposed exile from the crazier and louder side of the locker room. Your hopes are dashed when Katie’s shoes come into the edge of your vision.
“Unless your next words are going to be apologizing for dragging me out last night with you and then making me do shots when we had practice at the butt crack of dawn the next day, I don’t want to hear it,” you grumble, not lifting your head from where it’s resting on Lia’s shoulder.
The Swiss rubs a soothing hand up and down your back, though not without exchanging an amused look with your girlfriend who’s sitting on your other side.
“Don’t act so innocent. We both know what you did.”
“And what exactly did I do?”
It’s only then, when you finally look Katie in the face, that you know exactly why she’s so mad. Biting your lip, you try hard not to laugh.
Some time between stumbling out of your shared uber last night and then showing up to today’s practice (late of course), Katie’s hair has turned from its rich brown roots into a bright red mane.
“Wow. I think you’ve got the Ronnie McD look down pat. You auditioning to be his successor or something?”
The snorts of laughter in the room are worth the murderous expression that crosses Katie’s face at your tease.
“I was taking a shower this morning and the next thing I know, my hair’s red! I know you had something to do with it!”
Out of all the girls on the team, Katie’s usually the one pulling the pranks. You’re probably second after her, oftentimes tag teaming to get a wider range of teammates. So it’s not like Katie’s argument is fully without merit. Though this time around she’s missing a key detail.
“And at what time would I have had the opportunity to do so?”
You’ve all been out on international duty for a little under two weeks. Yesterday was the first day you’ve seen Katie since leaving for camp, and you don’t even remember the last time you stepped foot into her place.
Honestly you wish you could take credit for such a prank. Only very few people have ever successfully pranked Katie. So whoever swapped her shampoo out with a dye filled bottle deserved all the praises in the world.
“Who else would’ve done something like this? Leah?” Katie throws the blonde’s name out with a roll of her eyes. 
It’s well known how responsible your girlfriend is. To have Leah taking such a big mick out of Katie would basically be the same as if Kim were to suddenly become tech savvy --- virtually unfathomable.
Leah simply hums. “Who me? No, no way, not me. I’m a good girl.”
Though her words are innocent, Leah follows them up with a cheeky grin and a wink sent your way.
Your mouth drops open. Leah did not just say that. Not in front of all of your friends. Not when she has a tendency to say similar things as that in the privacy of your shared bedroom. 
You’re half blushing, wondering what has gotten into your girlfriend, and half appalled all the same as you turn, wanting to see Katie’s reaction to Leah’s words. You’re already bracing yourself for the inevitable teasing or for the brunette to read into Leah’s body language, only to find the Irish woman not even paying Leah any attention. Instead, she’s back to glaring at you.
“Mark your days, (Y/L/N),” Katie huffs. “I’ll get you back for this. Just you see.”
Turning on her heels, Katie stomps to her locker, glaring at anyone who dares to stop and stare.
Rolling your eyes, you turn back to your girlfriend. There’s still this indecipherable gleam in her eyes that’s making you quite suspicious.
Finally ungluing yourself from Lia’s side, you all but throw yourself back into the blonde’s arms.
Chuckling, Leah presses a kiss against your cheek.
“Can you believe Katie? Like when do I have the time to take a piss on her? I barely crawled out of bed this morning, let alone drove to her place and replaced her shampoo with red dye.”
“I told you going out last night was a bad idea.”
Yes, you distinctly remember Leah trying to convince you to spend the night with her, but you hadn’t seen Katie in what felt like ages. You kissed your pouting girlfriend goodbye, promising to be back quick.
“If you hadn’t blown me off to go clubbing with Katie last night, we could’ve been doing so many things instead of you leaving me to stew all by my lonesome. You know you can never trust me to behave when left to my own devices.”
“Oh my god.” Now Leah’s weird behavior all day makes sense. Despite your hungover clinginess, your girlfriend’s been strangely despondent this morning. She hasn’t been actively cold or ignoring you by any means, she’s just been less like her normal touchy self since you’ve both woken up for the day. Her strange behavior was one of the reasons you sought solitude with Lia instead of throwing yourself into your girlfriend’s arms this morning. 
“It was you!” you whisper-shout, eyes wide with a mix of shock and impressivity. 
“What ever could you be accusing me of doing, babe?”
You should’ve known something was up when Leah didn’t try as hard as she usually does to keep you from going out last night. And you should’ve known she would have gotten up to no good in your absence. Your girlfriend rarely gets into mayhem-causing moods, but when she is in one, there’s no telling who’s safe. The last time she was in one, not even Keira, the one who helped set up half of Leah’s pranks with her, was safe. 
Since you denied Leah sex last night, it seems as if you, and by proxy Katie, are on top of her shit-list this time around.
She gives you a pat on the leg before shooting to her feet.
“All this because I didn’t have sex with you last night?” you whine, quick to scramble after to her. You were already kicking yourself for missing out on getting naked with Leah last night. But now she’s actively torturing you for doing so as well. “Katie’s literally going to be on my ass about this for at least the next week.”
“First off, that’s my ass. Tell her to back off. And second, a girl has needs. It’s not my fault you blew me off to go party last night. I’m just finding creative outlets to let off some steam.”
There’s a slight sparkle in her eyes that tells you Leah’s not actually mad. Though the mischief hasn’t left either, so you’re not sure if you’re quite so safe yet. Knowing your girlfriend, you still had a lot of things coming your way. 
“I swear, Leah,” you huff, an embarrassed blush already rising to you cheeks.
“What are you going to do, punish me?”
Your mouth drops open.
Leah’s skipping away with a devilish look and joyous giggle as you try your best to pick your jaw off the floor. 
Your girlfriend is going to kill you before the end of the day. You just know it.
Your thoughts are followed by you quickly ducking, barely avoiding the football aimed at your head. On second thought, maybe Leah’s not going to be the death of you. Katie might get there first.
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orchidyoonkook · 2 years ago
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To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 3
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Title: Greenhouse Muses and Surprise Guests   
Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader
Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn
Summary: You need to think out this whole situation, and where better than your favourite place on campus? The one place where no one ever goes and where you can truly do your best problem solvi—wait who the hell is sitting in your supposed place of undisturbed tranquility? 
Warnings: PG18, heavy swearing, photography jargon (hopefully nothing tooooo confusing, I intentionally over explained a bit for those unfamiliar but a quick google search should clear up anything), euc=short form for eucalyptus “Youke”, art jargon but less, 1 (one) mention of metaphorical murder, and a bit of angst and fluff. I think that’s all?? Hella internal dialogue 
Word Count: 10,804
Release Date: March 2, 2023, 4:00PM
A/N 1: she somehow went from 8k to 10.8k???? Hope you enjoy!!
A/N 1.5: I’m literally so tired of looking at this, I’ve read it at least 10 times in three days. 
Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two
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Jungkook’s sitting at a table outside what he considers to be his new safe haven, making a mental note to thank Yuri for showing him the greenhouse cafe—is that its name? He should’ve asked.
He can see himself coming here all the time for quiet morning work sessions. The coffee is great, the snacks are delicious, and there aren’t a lot of people around either—zero—to be precise. So he really considers this a win in his book.
The cafe is just southwest of a medium sized greenhouse, not even a minute's walking distance between the two. He could clearly see all the flowers and plants within from his seat outside. And behind the greenhouse was nothing but a small grass field followed by thick, dense forest.
It doesn’t even feel like he’s on campus. Just free about the world, grabbing a coffee and sitting down to work on a project like anyone else would. Like anyone else could. Another face in the crowd instead of the one on magazines in every corner store, book shop and grocer.
He can dream about it. Take in these small moments, but it will never be his reality. Not really. Even in this little corner of blissful nowhere the barista who served him his coffee knew who he was, addressed him properly, albeit a bit stuttered.
And he can’t blame her. It’s what she’s supposed to do. How she’s ‘supposed’ to react to him. 
He’s someone big and important. Someone people look to and see their future in his hands. Someone who merits reactions when in the presence of others. 
Someone who...
Someone...
So he dreams. And is thankful for what little normalcy he can get.
Taking a deep breath in, he holds it and he shakes his head, dismissing the thoughts before releasing a steady, controlled exhale.
Reset.
The cafe has an awning over its small patio, four tables on either side of the doorway, two that seat four and two that seat two on their respective sides, eight in total. He’s chosen to sit at the table of two furthest from the greenhouse, closest to the cafe. It has more shade, allowing him to see the screen of his laptop better.
Jungkook needed some time alone without anyone finding him, he gave that stupid speech on Monday for many reasons, but one of the most important ones was that he wants to be able to exist in a public space and to do his school work without a crowd gathering.
He’s taking this university thing seriously, and that means doing good work, excelling in his chosen subjects. It requires no distractions and lots of effort.
He doesn’t want to have to be cramped up in his dorm the whole time, too scared to leave for fear of never being left alone. He left that behind when he stepped foot onto the campus.
No more worrying about cameras or security or kingdoms. No more watching and tracking his every step.
This is his time to be a young man, not the prince. Just Jungkook.
And so far? He’s doing okay.
But just in case, he’s also wearing a hat, hoodie and mask for extra protection while editing some pictures.
Old habits die hard.
His Design and Visual Culture professor had given out an intro assignment to the class so he could get a read on everyone’s skill levels and to see where his starting point would be. Professor Hirmer asked everyone in the class to each submit three images: one portrait; black and white or colour, one still life of the photographers choosing, and one image of whatever your preferred style was. Then edit them to the best of their abilities, and submit by noon the following Monday.
Jungkook’s already finished his portrait. He hasn’t really made any friends here yet, so he just took one of himself, which made it easier in the long run because he was so used to his picture being taken.
Slicked back hair, a black tight fit shirt, silver chain and white background made up the shot aside from him. He’d decided on butterfly lighting because he’s always found it to be the most flattering aside from Rembrandt. Don’t get him wrong, Rembrandt’s a nice technique, Jungkook just didn’t want his portrait to be too dramatic.
He got the one he wanted to use in no time, and it required very little editing. Black and white is forgiving like that.
Currently, he’s working on his still life.
A latte with a basic heart design in a dark navy mug sat on the keys of a mahogany wood grand piano. The mug sat on the right side of thirds, and a couple stems of eucalyptus half cover the keys to the left, the tips of it just barely covering the bottom of the mug. He kept his depth of field wide so that most of what was in the frame was in focus, but the primary focus of the entire image is intended to be the drink and tips of the eucalyptus.
Jungkook managed to get one of the six guards his father insisted on him having here to go to a local market to grab the euc stems. Their remains were currently hanging in his shower, smelling wonderful and fresh.
The latte he did himself, a small talent after needing coffee constantly in his teen years to keep up with everything.
And as for the piano? He booked a music room for an hour with one in it. Work smarter not harder.
He’d kept his lighting dark, but gentle, really highlighting the whites of the piano keys while keeping the rich hues of the mahogany and navy present. The eucalyptus is comfortably set in the middle, having some brighter and darker tones to balance it out.
He’s quite proud of it, having created a visually pleasing image that had equal amounts of high, medium and low tones. But he wants the edges of the picture to blur slightly, so he’s adding a very subtly feathered vignette to the image.
He knows most of his peers will likely be doing a traditional still life of fruit or flowers, so he took a risk and made the prompt his own. He just hopes it pays off.
While editing, Jungkook’s simultaneously trying to brainstorm what he wants to do for his third picture. His style of choice is candids, takes them constantly, yet he doesn’t have a single one he wants to use for the assignment.
He likes them best because candids are those perfectly imperfect moments that show who a person truly is, when they’re at their happiest and saddest moments and everything in between. Candids are for when someone’s so caught up in what they’re doing that they look entirely serene in their task, and you want to capture that, forever. A small sliver of them, existing purely as they are.
Nothing fake, nothing practiced, no do overs. Just capturing genuine moments as they happen. A true reflection of humanity without filters or editing.
Jungkook’s thinking of maybe going undercover in the courtyard to snap some pictures of random people to see if that could work when a movement in the corner of his eye catches his attention.
Someone, with their back facing him, is very unceremoniously dumping their tote bag at the table most opposite him; the table for two that’s half covered in sunlight, half shaded.
Clad in loose fitting paint and charcoal covered overalls, a white shirt and bandana, they’re taking out what appear to be art supplies.
Brushes, small metal tins filled with paint, a very chaotically colourful water holder, and painting pad all gather onto the little table. He’s surprised at how they make it all fit.
It seems like he’s not the only one who’s seen this place for its potential.
But when they turn around, it’s…You?
It’s you.
Of all people.
What are the odds?
He wants to say hi, but hesitates, still aware of your conversation from earlier and hopes there’s no harm in a friendly hello between people who are acquainted, regardless of pending decisions.
But Jungkook watches your eyes pass right over him, unaware or uncaring he’s there. His half-raised hand falls along with the smile that’s found its way onto his covered face as you continue into the cafe.
A byproduct of his upbringing is being able to read even the subtlest of body language and facial shifts in people. And in your case, it’s like you’re screaming at him without actually speaking.
He knows from your closed off posture alone that you don’t want to be disturbed. But your expression…it's like a mixture of anger, worry and thoughtfulness.
Jungkook knows better than to interrupt someone when they look like that, and he decides against saying anything, returning to his assignment.
A minute later the bell on the door chimes, signaling your exit. 
Looking up, he notes the cup of warm whatever it is in one hand, a very full looking pastry bag in the other, and a water bottle tucked into your side via your elbow.
He wonders what’s inside the cup. Coffee? Would you drink caffeinated or decaf? Or maybe you’re more of a tea person. But would it be black or green tea? Do you use milk? What about sweetener? He can’t decide but that doesn’t stop the thoughts from racing across his mind.
Why does he care so much?
You settle down into your seat, the shaded one of the pair, and—somehow—place your newly acquired goods on the already jam packed table. Truly a talent within itself.
But a sip from your cup, and a bite of something that resembles a tart later, you wipe your hands on your overalls and pick up a brush, wetting it from the colourful container. Bringing the empty, water only filled brush to the paint pad in front of you, you start.
Your back blocks most of it so he can’t see much, but your eye line is honed in on the greenhouse. And if he had to guess just by looking, you’re focused on the orchid that sits front and center. 
He couldn’t name it specifically, but he can see why you’d want to commit it to paper. It’s pretty—yellow and red, very exotic looking, and he doesn't mean to—doesn’t even realize he is—when he finds himself watching you work instead of doing his own, mesmerized.
Your hand moves gracefully from paint to paper to water and back again.  Occasionally, switching out brushes or wiping the one you had on your pants, drying it or maybe getting the last bits of colour off. He’s fascinated with how you know exactly what to use and where to put what in order for the image to spring to life. Most likely years of practice and muscle memory guiding you.
Sort of how he does photography. Years of experience and knowing which poses and angles to use to really make an image pop. For a moment he wonders if anyones looked at his art the way he’s looking at yours.
When you take a small break, stretching out your back and limbs, Jungkook snaps out of his daze and looks at the clock on the bottom right hand side of his screen.
He’s been watching you for nearly 30 minutes.
That’s creepy as hell Jeon, he thinks to himself, lucky you didn’t notice, and returns his sights to his laptop.
Fuck. What was he doing again?
Staring at the still life in front of him, it takes a minute before he recalls.
Oh right.
Professor Hirmer’s assignment. The third image. A picture of his preferred style—his preferred style of candids. What could he do for his candid shot?
He thinks. A candid shot. Candids. Caaaannnndidddssssss. Caaaaaa—
A lightbulb goes off and he feels like both an idiot and a genius.
Retrieving his camera from his bag, Jungkook glances your way and sees you painting again.
Perfect.
Quietly, he gets up from his seat, moving just enough to be able to see a sliver of your painting and a small portion of your face. You're so focused that you don't even notice him, like nothing outside the page matters. And only for a second does he wonder what you’re thinking about.
Your body is easy to read, it’s your mind that remains a mystery.
The sun’s moved ever so slightly so that your page is now fully doused in sunlight, while you remain under the gentle caress of shadow from the awning.
Smart girl.
But your face is bathed in the subtle glow of your papers reflecting illumination. And it's like you’re the one creating light with every brush stroke.
You look transcendent.
With that sight in his viewfinder, Jungkook takes a few shots in portrait framing, his thumb covering the speaker that lets out the ‘click’ noise of a picture being taken, before adjusting his shutter speed.
These pictures all have you in focus, with the background consisting of half somewhat blurry cafe wall, half very blurry forest green. And they’re okay, they work. But he wants to have your movements and surrounding materials in the image as well, to really show the process of an artist at work. So he switches to a landscape framing and settles on a slower shutter speed to create a longer exposure.
Waiting for you to clean your brush in the water cup before snapping the capture button, Jungkook holds steady as it’s a couple seconds before the image takes. It makes him wish he had his tripod with him because it would make this so much easier, but he can make due if he has too. 
And he has too. Because he doesn’t want this opportunity to pass.
After a few more shots and near leg cramp later, he brings the results of his efforts up on the viewfinder for review. Jungkook’s thrilled to see that the movement in the piece was taken exactly how he wanted. Your arm steady on the canvas, but all your movements prior shown like angelically lit rays due to the angle of the sun, creating an ocean of movement around a steadily focused you.
They’re hauntingly beautiful. 
He takes a couple more like that for good measure, getting in different movements and shutter speeds before slowly making his way back to his laptop and table.
Popping his SD card into his computer for closer inspection, Jungkook sees there’s definitely more than one useful candidate and gets to work on narrowing down his favourite.
He is going to pass this assignment with flying colours. And it’s all thanks to you.
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As you arrive at the cafe you notice a guy in a black hoodie, hat and mask with his head stuck in a laptop at the furthest table on the patio. Internally, you sigh that there’s someone else here; it’s almost always vacant and that’s why you love it. No people, no distractions, just you and your work, and your thoughts.
You try not to worry too much about it, doing your best to just ignore him and have hope that he leaves soon. At least he’s as far away from your spot as he can get.
Dropping your tote on the chair in the sun, you start placing all your things on the table. It’s an exact science you’ve perfected over many, many paint sessions and far too much spilled liquid. Countless art projects have fallen victim on this table, some you were able to salvage, but most were added to its body count.
Setting down your paint tins, you still can’t get the conversation with Yuri out of your head. Not leaving the building, not crossing the campus, not all the time it took you to get way over here either, no matter how hard you tried.
You huff.
Was your reaction really that unjustified? Could she not see how insane she was acting? Why did she jump to you being jealous? Why would she even think you’d be jealous?
You have Nel.
A prince isn’t going to change that.
And speaking of, you didn’t even get to tell her about your conversation with Jungkook.
After this fight though…you don’t think you will.
He seems to be becoming a sore spot between the two of you, ridiculous as that is, so you think it best to just not bring it up and deal with it on your own. That’s how you usually do things anyway, and you were only going to ask Yuri as a thinking out loud type of thing, hoping she had some input. But it’s clear now that none of it would have been useful anyway.
Finishing placing your things down—all fitting perfectly, by the way—you dig into your tote for your wallet and head into the cafe, still doing your best to ignore the other patron. Hopefully you can give off enough of a vibe that he takes the hint and leaves.
The bells hanging on the door sound as it opens and shuts.
“Hey YN,” Vivian, the barista, calls at your entrance.
You two know each other well, enough to be on a first name basis. You, being one of—if not the only—regular, and the cafe—being a little out of the way of anything else—not having many students make it a part of their routine.
A comfortable, welcomed sort of exile. One you gladly share with her.
“It’s good to see you,” she says, looking at the window closest to where you sit, “Are we painting again? I saw they switched up the flowers in the greenhouse on Monday. The ones they have out now are so beautiful.”
“It’s great to see you too, Viv” you respond, eyeballing the pastry display. You notice they have your favourite egg tarts in today.
At least one thing is going right for you.
“And yeah, they are,” you say warmly, regarding her comment. “I’m thinking I’m about to get real sick and tired of looking at that orchid they placed front and center.”
Viv laughs, patiently waiting on your order, though she’s got a good idea of what it’ll be.
“Could I get a hot chocolate with whip please?” You ask, and drum your fingers on your legs deciding how many tarts to get—two or three? Two or three?—before remembering, “Oh! and if you still have the not so super secret stash of mini marshmallows that you don’t have here,” throwing up air quotes and a smirk for good measure, “Could you toss a few of those in too? I’ll tip you extraaaaa.”
Viv only gives you a look that says yes they do but that she’ll never admit it out loud, and you’re grateful to her.
You’d spotted them one day by chance in first year and asked if you could have some with your drink. Viv merely stated that they don’t have marshmallows at the cafe while slipping a few in under your lid with a wink. You’ve been eternally appreciative for that kindness ever since, and tip her handsomely for it, but you’ve never known why it was such a secret. 
Maybe one day you’ll ask.  
Coffee isn’t really your thing, only turning to it during exams season, and you weren’t in the mood for tea, so hot chocolate’s always your favourite alternative.
But hot chocolate with whip cream and marshmallows?
Instant mood booster. And you definitely need that after the afternoon you’ve had.
“Anything else?” Viv asks, adding the large amount of whip cream she knows you like to the top of your drink.
“Yeah actually,” you smile, “could I get a water bottle and three of the egg tarts? They’re my favourite.”
Three seemed to be the most unreasonable option, therefore it’s the one you had to go with. And soon, a much too small, very full paper pastry bag finds its way onto the counter, accompanying your drinks.
“I’ll let bossman know about your dragon-like hoarding tendencies with the tarts and see if we can get them in more regularly,” Viv says, unsuccessfully keeping in a giggle at the end of her subtle jab and it makes you laugh too. “I mean, I don’t see why not seeing as you pretty much single handedly keep this place afloat anyway.”
You adore Viv. She’s real and kind, and very much someone you consider to be a bosom friend of sorts. You can tell her if you’ve had a bad day or a good one, and she’ll do the same, no shroud of inane pleasantries. You two having escaped the somewhat awkward ‘you work here and I go here so lets be nice to one another’ worker-customer relationship to a genuine friendship, and it makes the whole experience that much better. 
But it also allows for pulling on one another’s legs, like you do now.
“You’re so mean to me… and lucky I like you for it,” you say, opening your wallet, happy to pay whatever number you’re given plus 30%. The marshmallows and Viv are worth it. “How much will it be?”
She lets you know the total and you hand her a couple of mandatory bills plus a few extra, telling her to keep the change. You’ll lose any coins you have anyway, might as well give them to someone who’ll use them.
Viv says thanks and you make your way back to your spot, hands full and mind feeling a little lighter.
Thanks Viv.
Sitting down, you take a swig of your drink, a bite of your newly acquired tarts and get to work.
Starting with a wet on wet approach: you brush the canvas with water where you’ll eventually put some colour so it bleeds intentionally, and glance up every couple seconds to make sure to get a proper likeness.
It’s a yellow tiger orchid, truly beautiful—you’re a bit of a flower nerd because of your mom, but especially with orchids because they’re your favourite. They just come in so many different forms, it’s hard not to love their diversity.
Dipping into your paints now, you add some yellows in slowly, deciding to think of it as less of a flower study and more of an artistic interpretation so you don't have to use your brain too much. You’ll be using it enough to think through this whole Jungkook thing, no need to get caught up in the details and strain yourself even more.
Carefully put and one by one, more and more colours make their way onto the page and you settle into the calmness of creating. It leaves the open space you need for your mind to finally start working through the whole Jungkook–Yuri, Yuri–You, You–Jungkook situation before immediately correcting that there is no You–Jungkook situation.
He just wants to be friends, and that doesn’t constitute a situation. More of a predicament.
Yeah, that sounds better.
You switch out your brush in favour of a tart after getting base colours down, takinge a hefty bite and chasing it down with more hot chocolate. Damn it’s good, you need to ask Viv what magic she puts in it to make it this amazing.
Another swig and you think it’ll be better to just jump right into your mental debate. Get it over with, hash it all out. 
So that’s exactly what you do.
It isn’t that you do or don’t want to be friends with Jungkook, he seems nice enough.
It’s a matter of if you can be.
Jungkook is probably a very self-disciplined individual—if you knew anything about his upbringing—so it’s not like he wouldn’t understand your drive. He’d probably understand you in that respect more than Yuri does. Why you work so hard, why you don’t slow down. You can’t.
You won't. Not for anyone or anything.
And he can clearly understand social cues so you don’t have to worry about things getting awkward. He would act appropriately, never pushing boundaries—
Using a thin angled brush, you add more yellow to create sharper lines.
—And had he been just Jungkook, you wouldn’t even be sitting here having this ridiculous mental conversation with yourself. Because who stresses this much over a new potential friendship? You certainly never have before.
But that’s the problem, he isn’t just regular old Jungkook.
He is His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook.
And as much as his title doesn’t mean shit to you, it sure as hell means a whole lot of something to everyone else.
He’s heir to the biggest kingdom on this half of the planet. On the cover of every teen magazine and online news article. Only child to the King and Queen. 
Powerful. Attractive. Single.
In short, Jungkook has been incredibly well known and incredibly important since the day he was born 24 years ago.
So you have to sit and think out what would happen if you became the prince's first female college friend. Well… aside from Yuri, but you don’t know how long that’s going to last, given where she thought things were going.
Being seen with him publicly would immediately put you in a spotlight you don’t want. You hate being the center of attention, but that’s the least of your worries.
You worry greatly that you wouldn’t firstly be known for becoming ‘YN, globally renowned painter, artist and business woman,’ selling pieces for more than they’re worth and then some. Galleries from all over the world knocking down your door, begging for your work. Having billionaires auction off paintings you’ve done for charity, being flown around the world for and by people to have you create something for them. Be it portraits or murals or even a performance—
Some burnished red now, with a small thin tip brush to begin the rorschach like patterns on the petals.  
—You wanted to be successful by your own hand, and then and only then would you occasionally speak of your very, incredibly platonic, not at all romantic, years old friendship with the prince, who you’d met in your college years by chance.
But you know that if you say yes, if you agree, all of those worries would prove true. That none of it would happen. None of the future you’ve worked for the better part of a decade on would come to fruition.
Oh no, no, no. That wouldn’t be the case at all.
Why would it? If you said yes, you’d become this week's most hot and trending piece of gossip. You’d be ‘the first girl Prince Jungkook was seeing in college,’ and everyone would ask ‘are you his new girlfriend?’ or ‘just a fling?’
If you said yes, it would be a constant barrage of:
‘Where did you meet?’ ‘Is he a good kisser?’ ‘How long have you been dating?’ ‘Have you met the king?’ ‘Does he like you?’ ‘What about the Queen, does she approve?’ ‘Has The Prince mentioned marriage at all?’ ‘Can we see the ring?’ ‘How many children will you have?’
At the grocery store, the mall, the hallways of your school, your hometown, the bathroom of a restaurant. It would be everywhere all of the time, constantly, and your head is already spinning at all the potential bombardment to your currently nice and relatively quiet life, so you take another snack break and stretch. 
Finishing your first tart and making a good dent in your second, the hot chocolate is half gone at this point. Whip cream and marshmallows having long melted, making the drink extra smooth.
Returning to your painting and back on topic; you’re not dense. You know how the media does what it wants with the people they see as mere puppets. As if they aren’t living breathing individuals with lives outside the very narrow-minded, click bait titled, news articles.
Their ‘reporters’ have absolutely no regard for what they say and how they act. They have not a care in the world for what their claims do to all the innocent individuals whose lives they write about after they’re done with them.
Selfish is the nicest word you can think to describe them. They’re vicious, heartless, vile people, and you have no desire to ever be the object of their attention.
The flowers are springing to life beautifully as you put layer after layer of detail. You add some darker hues, deciding to go with a more vivid red rather than the burnished one from before. Your wet on wet approach is working magic on blending the colours seamlessly for you. It really accentua—
—And another thing! If you did say yes, you could just see it now;
After your successful career launch, you’d always—no matter what you did—always be questioned about your relationship and what could have been with the prince. Or you’d be asked if knowing him is what got you to where you were, if he gave you a leg up, so to speak.
As if you would let him have any hand in making you what you were always going to become.
You didn’t and don’t need his or anyone’s help.
But it would always be, ‘YN? Oh you mean that artist got that much recognition just because she knew Prince Jungkook?’ or ‘YN, the Prince’s ex from college?’ no matter how hard he or you pushed that you were just friends. Because who would listen to either of you after the speculation was already there? After the seed was planted in their minds.
People love secrets and thinking they know all the dirty, gossipy scandals more than anything. Thinking they know more about other people's secrets than they do their own. As if they have nothing better to do with their lives.
Sighing, you drink the last bit of hot chocolate, wanting another one once it’s gone, but not the sugar headache that comes with that. Water then.
Adding some dimension to the petals by using a clean, damp brush to remove some pigment, you can’t help but let your mind wander to the most obvious conclusion that would be made and sink into it.  
You’re almost scared of the social pariah you’d become with every other woman and handful of men on campus. One dating rumor and you're done. Gone. Dismissed.
Or worse. One dating rumor and your popularity will suddenly skyrocket. You won’t have another moment to breathe alone so long as you’re still in school.
Jungkook is the most eligible bachelor on this side of the planet, potentially the whole world. His potential matches are princesses and the daughters of the filthy rich.
Who are you?
No one.
At least right now you are.
You aren’t royal, aren’t of ‘noble birth,’ aren’t a wealthy socialite. You aren’t even an independent, wildly successful career woman yet.
You’re just a scholarship kid who’s only at this school because she worked her ass off for it. Who has to continuously work her ass off for it if she wants to continue to be here.  
And you do want to. You want to work hard and become who you’ve always known you’d be. One invisible, important step at a time. 
From the first sketch to the last brush stroke.
So to summarize.
You don’t want to be the media’s plaything. Something for them to have their fun with and be bored of in a week, the future you’re working so hard to create destroyed before ever seeing the light of day. Fizzled out like a candle in a pouring downfall, only smoke remaining from the once bright and proud flame.
Secondly, you don’t want to be the social outcast or new campus favourite simply because you made a new friend. Having either icicles thrown at you from every set of eyes on campus or clout grabbers following your every footstep, begging for attention. Snubbed from any group projects, crowds parting like the red sea at your arrival, or never getting a moment to yourself again, late to every class due to your own personal assembly.
You’re exhausted at the mere thought of the possibility of either.
And lastly, you don’t want all the possible implications that come with knowing and befriending a man like him. Plain and simple.
What you want is to establish yourself because you worked for and earned it. What you want is to be successful, putting your near decade of practice and studying to good use. What you want is to have media attention, but for your talents, your efforts, and accomplishments.
Not his.
Not because you happened to treat the second most important person in your country like a normal, regular person.
Like he’d asked literally everyone else on your campus to do.
It isn’t your fault you're the only one who has ears that work.
But…on that note…
This is the prince.
And you are his citizen under his family’s monarchy. 
You don’t know if you’re even allowed to say no.
Can you?
He said you could…or was that him just giving you the illusion of choice? Don’t you have to listen to him? By royal decree or whatever it was that forced people to live under the royal family’s rule?
You have no idea, and choose to sit on it some more. There has to be a better solution to this.
You wish you could just talk to Yuri. She’s been your sounding board for the better part of two years now. But that’s definitely a no-go after today. You worry what bringing up anything prince related would do to your friendship right now. You’ve had enough arguments and mental taxation for the time being, thanks.
And if not Yuri…You would talk to Nel…
But Nel’s in a completely different country—a completely different time zone—right now. Already halfway through his night and you don’t want to wake him.
Wait, Nel.
Fuck.
Nel is another thing you have to consider in all this. You aren’t sure how he’d react to any form of relationship you’d have with Jungkook. 
How would he react to the media’s coverage of you with the prince?
Would he believe you when you denied everything?
Five years is a long time.
To know someone. To love them. To trust them. And you both know where you stand. You know where your future lies; with him. And he knows his lies with you.
But Nel is only human, and every human has flaws. No one is perfect. Everyone can have moments of weakness. Every person can feel jealous no matter how secure the relationship.
And jealousy can kill a relationship just as quickly, if not faster than anything else.
Jealousy can make you think things so irrational that it breaks down the wall of trust you built on a foundation of cement and bricks like it was nothing more than two twigs being held up by sheer luck and willpower alone.
A horrible rumor. 
A gust of wind. 
What’s the difference?
Five years of love, trust and communication could crumble to dust because of some asshole with a camera, an angle, and a computer with an internet connection.
You don’t want that to happen. You cannot express fervently enough how badly you never want something like that to happen to you or Nel.
You love your relationship. You love Nel, and you can’t do anything to jeopardize that. Ever.
But surely he’d understand if the heir to your nation's throne asked you to be his friend.
Surely he’d believe you when you told him that absolutely nothing was going on between you and Jungkook and that the media is just having a field day because he was the prince, and you were a girl around his age.
Surely he would…
Surely…
Five years is a long time.
But it’s also short. If you consider that for just over two of them you were long distance 9 months out of the year. And that two and a half more of them were when you were in highschool doing 60 hour weeks while he had football practice before and after school every day.  
When you spent most of your weekends at galleries, or portrait study or cramming for a test.
When he spent his studying and practicing and catching up on all his lost sleep from practice.
Maybe…
Maybe you shouldn’t bring it up to him.
A fire can’t start where there isn’t any kindling…right?
An argument can’t start, mistrust can’t begin, jealousy can’t exist if he just…never knows about it.
If nobody knows about it.
Actually.
Maybe that’s exactly what you’ll do. Just not tell anyone.
It’s not lying, not really. It’s just omitting a very, very small part of your life. 
And it’s not like you’ll be doing anything bad. It would most likely just be Jungkook asking about where to bring girls on dates or if you’ve seen the newest tv show that’s been on.
You’d tell him Azorè’s is the restaurant closest to campus that’s actually nice, and that no, you haven’t, because you don’t watch a lot of TV if you can help it.
That’s not devious, it’s normal friend stuff—just without the immense social pressure and potential repercussions of knowing him and being female at the same time.
Holy Shit.
This might be crazy enough to work.
And this way… this way you don’t have to say no to Jungkook, and Yuri won’t be mad, and Nel won’t get jealous, and you’ll stay out of the spotlight.
This way works out for everyone.
This way solves everything.
You huff, relieved. 
Now you just have to convince the prince that it’s a good idea.
He’s used to omitting things, isn't he? He must because of his future job. Don’t they train future monarchs in the wise and ancient art of social deception and secret keeping—to keep the peace or whatever?
You don’t think it’ll be that big a leap for him.
The longer you ruminate, the more you like the idea, deciding that when you get back to your dorm later, that’s what you’ll tell him. And if he doesn’t like it, well then problem solved all around anyway.
You reach for your hot chocolate, remember it’s empty, and switch to your water instead. Celebrating by mentally patting yourself on the back.
Always trust the greenhouse cafe. The greenhouse cafe is good. The greenhouse cafe is wise. The greenhouse cafe is all kno—
“That’s beautiful.”
You almost jump out of your seat at the voice, knee hitting the table in the process. It makes everything on it bounce and clang loudly and the hand holding your brush that was also nearing your water flies to your chest, leaving a splotch of red paint on your cheek.
“Ow, fuck,” you say, reaching to rub your now throbbing knee. That’s going to bruise. You’re just lucky nothing spilled, you certainly hit the table hard enough.
Looking up to see who your unintentional heart attack provoker was, you blink a couple times before a worried looking Jungkook with big eyes comes into focus.
Though, his worry is brief it seems, as his attention shifts to the painting in front of you, the small smile from the day you met making an reappearance.
Didn’t he just see you jump ten feet in the air? Because of him???
“What the fuck Jungkook?! You scared the shit out of me,” you say scowling, giving him a piece of your mind while your heartbeat returns to a healthier pace. “Didn’t they ever tell you not to sneak up on people in that big, fancy house of yours?”
Jungkook doesn’t think he’s ever heard anyone call the palace a ‘big, fancy house’ before. Another first with you. And he’s about to say as much when his gaze finally meets your own and see’s how upset you are. Right, he spooked you.
The hand not holding a laptop into his side slides behind his neck and he looks away. You swear you can see the prince blushing.
Did you cause that?
Wait.
Stop.
Rewind.
You look him up and down quickly.
Hoodie. Hat. Laptop. Mask around his wrist.
Jungkook was the guy sitting on the patio from earlier? How did you not recognize him? Like at all?
He has the most famous face in the world and you couldn’t recognize it when it was 20 feet away?
Wow.
Actually.
Hat to hide the hair, hoodie to hide the body, mask to hide the face. 
Impressive. He really knew how to blend in when he wanted too.
But he hasn’t even said hi or sorry. And he undoubtedly saw you earlier as you weren’t exactly subtle in placing your things on the table.
So much for wanting to be friends. He can’t even say hello to you?
...or maybe you got lucky and he saw that you really didn’t want to talk to anyone.
Thoughts aside, you won’t admit to him you find his camouflage techniques exceptional. He doesn’t need the ego boost.
Jungkook's hand recedes from his nape and he looks at you again, blush almost gone.
“Ah.. sorry.” He cringes a little. “I’ve always been told I’m light on my feet and I constantly forget when I’m around new people. I didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry, YN.”
So his manners haven’t completely escaped him. 
You give him a hard time as you point a finger his way. “You’re paying the hospital bill if my kneecap’s broken.”
It only takes a second for the joke to land this time, and a small laugh escapes his lips.
“Yeah, that’s fair. You break it, you buy it?”
It’s the first joke you’ve heard him make, and honestly, it isn’t bad. You chuckle.
“Something like that, sure. Here,” you say, holding the canvas up a little higher for him to see. “It’s a Yellow Tiger Orchid. The greenhouse likes to switch around the plants every other week, but these guys are always my favourite. Make for a fun challenge.”
Jungkook's loose hand touches the edge of the canvas lightly, careful not to disturb the still drying paint.
His words are almost thoughtless, entirely too focused on your work as he says, “You’re incredibly talented, your parents must be so proud.”
“Parent,” you correct, not harshly, just so that he knows you’ve only got the one. “And thanks, it stems from my many years of practice and a shady deal with an even shadier witch. All I know is I owe her my first born.”
That smile of his makes a comeback, only bigger and followed by a snicker.
You match it.
“But yes, my mother’s incredibly proud and a large part of the reason I’m here, never once having stopped supporting my goals.”
That’s true. Very true. Your mum never once thought your dreams were out of your reach, only ever pushing you towards them where she could. Placing steps down for you where she was able to.
She signed you up for lessons, drove you to galleries, bought you book after book on all your favourite artists and painting techniques. She got you paints and palettes and canvases, and did everything she possibly could have to get you where you now are.
She’s your number one fan.
And, in true proud mom fashion, she told everyone she could about how her daughter got into RABFA on scholarship all by herself—except you didn’t. You’re here because of all the support she gave during those years as well as your efforts, but she refuses to take any of the credit.
“I’m happy to hear it,” he says genuinely, before hesitating. Looking like he wants to say something but is debating it. “Can I–Do you–,” he inhales deeply,  clearly not used to fumbling over his words.
It’s...cute.
“Would you mind if I sat down?” he finally gets out. “I’d love to see more of your work.”
You think about it only for a second, taking a quick scan of your surroundings. There’s no one around besides Viv, and she’s probably working in the back. Plus, you're pretty sure he’s seen or even spoken to some of the greatest artists of your time. Not to mention, you’d love to hear his input.
“Yeah, sure.”
Instead of sitting on the chair your bag is currently using, he puts his things on the table to your right and spins one around from there, settling down with arms folded over the back of it.
“Thanks.”
You hand over your sketchpad. A perk to using a heavily water based medium is that your painting’s already dried in the time since you first spoke.
Jungkook flips his way through the pages slowly, taking his time in studying each painting as an individual piece. It’s not long before he reaches the one you were working on today. Having just started this pad a month ago, there isn’t much in it yet.
He searches back through to one right near the beginning.
“This ones my favourite,” he says, spinning the canvas around for you to see. It’s a tiger lily painting you’d done late in the summer at home.
Your mother is a notorious gardener, and has several flower beds that could rival a plant nursery with the sheer size, magnitude and variety of flowers in them. 
Rose bushes, dahlias, sunflowers, snap dragons, carnations, tulips, daisies, chrysanthemums, you name it, they were there.
So it wasn’t uncommon for you to spend an afternoon out in the garden sketching different blooms or picking one out in particular to paint.
She’d gotten the bright orange tiger lilies this past spring. They were the first ones you’d chosen when you got home after second year to paint. And then you just didn’t stop. They take up about a quarter of your summer sketchbook.
You couldn’t help it. They were hypnotizing.
“Why that one?”
“It’s my birth flower,” he says, lifting the sleeve on his right, revealing a forearm full of wonderfully inked designs. At the center of it is a tiger lily in matching bright orange hue. “It’s always had significant meaning for me because it’s something that represents me that didn’t come from my lineage, position, or name.”
“Oh.”
You sit there for a moment, stunned, yet to release your gaze from the sight of his arm.
The designs that cover it go all the way up to his elbow and don’t stop.
From an artist's point of view, you’re incredibly impressed with the quality of the work. Intricately placed mixes of black, white and colour. Never one or the other for too long. Strong clean lines. Clear, unmuddied colours. Striking.
Beautiful.
You shouldn’t be so surprised, knowing only the best would be allowed to grace his skin, but still. It was rare you were this taken aback by art. 
The colours chosen on the more visual pieces are gorgeous together. Bright, brilliant, bold. And the few quotes mixed in? Their linework is just… spectacular.
Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind your staring, twisting his arm to show you some of the designs previously hidden from your sight. 
The quality doesn’t lessen.
It’s after you're done intaking the art on his body that you see the strong muscle underneath it. And you let yourself appreciate the discipline that goes into achieving said strong muscle instead of how it makes your mouth water.
Long distance does not help your libido, and you’re only human.
Not that you would ever cheat. You do have a functioning moral compass, and a person you love that you could never do that too in a hundred years.
It's just that you have working eyes... and it doesn't hurt to look every now and then.
To make sure everything’s still working.
It is.
You bring your line of vision back into his.
“I never thought of my birth flower like that before. My mom keeps an entire garden full of them—only child and all.” Like him, you realize. “They’re one of her favourites too. I guess they hold a similar importance to her as yours does to you.”
Jungkook nods as he asks for your birth flower and you tell him. He says he can understand why your mum would be so fond of them, they’re a beautiful and elegant flower, suiting for you.
“Thanks,” you say, brushing off the subtle compliment.
He holds a hand out for the pad and you give it to him, watching as he turns the pages to another drawing before returning it again.
This one’s of your mother, in the small breakfast nook by a window in your home. It’s drawn with dark pencil lead and painted loosely, a slight blending of the two mediums.
She’s drinking a cup of tea and reading a book. It’s one of your favourite pieces that you’ve done recently because it’s your mom, existing naturally.
Not posed for a portrait, or a painting, or a reference, just her enjoying her morning. You couldn’t help but sketch it quickly when you saw her, adding the bit of colour later.
“Is this her?” he asks, taking it in again as if seeing it for the first time.
“Yeah, that’s our breakfast nook. But she reads there more than eats, always saying the window lets in the perfect amount of light.”
“I see where you get it from.”
“Get what?” but he just smiles at you before switching the topic.
“Who do you draw inspiration from, or look up to? I’d guess but I only know the bigger names.”
You inhale, knowing that this answer is always long for you. You get it semi-regularly—it’s a part of being a visual artist the same way asking a musician who they look up to is.
“Well, there’s a couple bigger names in the mix,” you start, “Van Gogh comes to mind first because his work feels like freedom. Lines placed seemingly wherever, yet so meticulously put at the same time. Some aren’t like that, but even then, they still flow like water. I adore his work,” another breath. “Da Vinci. Always. I stand by that fact that he was a genius and I strive to have an ounce of whatever he did. Michelangelo is another. Enough said. The sheer magnitude he was capable of creating was incredible.
“I have a lot of smaller artists I love too. People I’ve seen at local galleries, people I’ve found online, teachers from past classes. Some not nearly as well known artists from a hundred years ago who broke the barriers of art in their time,” you’re smiling like an idiot as you recall all your favourites and how they inspire you.
“I like the people who create and created just because they could, because they loved to. Because it meant something to them to make something with their hands. I mean, look what their passion got them. They all created for themselves, perfected their craft for themselves and that was enough. A satisfying, fulfilling life. I can only hope to have that. But a part of me wants to be one of the lucky few. The ones who shared their art so that others might not feel so alone. They became some of the greatest artists of all time.”
“Also some of the saddest,” Jungkook adds. But he’s looking at you differently now. You can’t put your finger on it but it’s not bad. Something close to curiosity. Or wonder.
“That just goes hand and hand with being a creative person. I don’t know a single one who doesn’t express their pain through their art.”
“Do you?”
“Of course, but those are just for me.”
“Shame.”
That catches your attention. “Why?”
Jungkook doesn’t hesitate for a second before saying, “Because some of the most beautiful things in life are created out of pain.”
You don’t really know how to respond to that.
You know he’s right. People are most likely to bare their soul into their art when they’re hurt, just to get it out. It’s cathartic for them in the same way crying or breaking things is for others.
The most magnificent things can come from that vulnerability, and it isn’t something you ever take lightly when you’re shown.
You’ve heard enough music in your life to know that the most beautiful songs are the most gut wrenching. You’ve seen so many dance performances you know the ones created from anguish and heartbreak are the ones that make for the most delicate movements; the most fragile moments on stage. You've painted enough pieces in grief over your lifetime to know that when someone doesn’t hold back what they’re feeling when creating, it’s the most emotionally provoking when looked at, listened to and experienced by others.
The audience can feel it in a piece. They can feel it in the movement and in the melodies. In the soul of what was created. Of the creator.
“Yes, they are,” you agree, near solemn, and that’s all that needs to be said.
And a moment of comfortable silence later, he hands you back the pad and you pick up your brush to continue with your orchid.
He watches your every stroke. You pretend he’s not there as you add green to the leaves.
“Have you given any thought to our earlier conversation?” he asks. “I know it was only a couple hours ago, so I understand if not.”
Jungkook looks nervous when you wash your brush in the colorful water jar. His face reads like he thinks you’re going to say no, like he’s preparing himself for the rejection but his body language gives him away. He’s wringing his fingers under the table, and his leg won't stop bouncing. 
It makes the corner of your mouth quirk. You thought he’d be better at hiding his tics, being prince and all.
But maybe he feels like he doesn’t have to around you.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the chair, Jungkook feels like he’s sweating buckets. Unknowingly showing every nervous habit he has, but can’t help it. 
He doesn’t tell you that he doesn’t have a lot of friends. Doesn’t have a lot of people he trusts enough to even consider them friends.
Yeah, he’s always surrounded by people. But they were just that. People. He barely knew any of them, and they only ever wanted to be near him for what it said about them, for what being near him could give them.
He doesn’t say how can’t pinpoint it, but that there’s just something different about you. 
So he’s really hoping you say yes.
Because it’s been…a long while…since he’s made a new one.
And it would be really nice too. 
But he’ll respect your decision either way.
Just please say yes.
Mercifully, you end his suffering.
“I have,” a brush stroke—more yellow. You don’t look at him while you speak, focusing instead on what’s in front of you. “That’s actually why I came here. To think. I come here for that a lot, or to get work done. It’s my favourite spot on campus. Secluded, pretty, quiet.”
He silently agrees with every word, but is also impatient. “And?”
You try your best to ignore the stars in his eyes when you look up from your painting.
“And I’ve thought hard about this, Jungkook. I didn’t just once over the idea and choose on a whim, I fleshed out what it would mean for me—what a friendship with you would mean for me, that is,” putting the brush down, you allow your most recent details to dry. “And I have a condition—just one. It's one you may not like, but it’s the only one you’d have to agree to in order for me to agree.”
Jungkook deflates a little, wondering what you could want. Because everyone always wants something. He was just really hoping you’d be different.
His mind runs through all the possible answers he’s used to hearing; money, clout, pictures, gifts, vacations, an audience with his father, donations, sex, power, the list goes on. 
He doesn’t want to think these things about you, but he can’t help it.
After so long… you get used to it.
“What’s the condition?” he asks, bracing himself.
“That nobody knows we’re friends.”
What? He thinks.
“What?” He asks.
You inhale again, wiping your hands on your pants and straightening your back.
Here we go.
“The more I thought about it, the more I realised that being seen with you publicly all the time would not go over well for me and my future. Anyone can be seen with the prince, but one girl over and over? People will talk about me. And it will be about me, because I’ll be the new shiny toy for them to play with. What I’m wearing, if we’re dating, who am I, what do I do, how did we meet, are you interested, blah blah blah,” you flick your hand, cringing at all of it. “I also don’t want my current relationships to change because of it. I don’t want my mother being cornered in a grocery store by a stranger asking about how her daughter knows Prince Jungkook and if she’s willing to give a quote,” you may actually come close to murder if that ever happened. 
“Not to mention the social repercussions. I can deny everything all I want from here into next week, but the second anyone knows we’re friends? I’ll become  either the most popular girl on campus—which is a waking nightmare for me—or the campus leper, which is a close second. And before you say anything to the contrary,” you fix him with a hard stare, unwavering. “You know I’m right.”
He tries to speak but you hold up a finger to show you’re not finished, and take a deep breath. 
Collect yourself YN, sum it up, drive the point home.
“I don’t need nor want that in my life. So if you want me to be in yours, nobody will know except us and whatever royal people need to so I don’t get tackled for being near you.” He cracks a smile at that.
“If that isn’t okay with you, then that’s fine, I understand. It’s probably an ask you’re not used to hearing, but I hope you understand that I have to put myself first and that this is a hard boundary for me. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am and I won’t let anyone get in my way. Not even a prince,” you say. “Not even you.”
Jungkook waits a second this time, making sure you’re finished. Then leans back, deep in thought, eyes still trained on you. 
He’s never been so impressed with anyone in his life. 
It’s been a very long time since he’s met someone with such blatant, hard earned self respect. Such candor and veracity, who spoke to him with confidence, completely unwavered. Let alone a woman. 
He’s so used to the fawning that he’s forgotten he likes it when a girl has backbone. Forgotten he likes a girl who doesn’t bend because he asks her to, who doesn’t need him or anyone to get what she wants. 
She can do it herself.
If he’s completely real with himself, his pants are fitting a little tighter as he remembers. As he continues to stare into your unflinching eyes.
But he dismisses that feeling immediately.
He should have known better. You’ve always been honest with him up until this point, sparing as those moments were. So he shouldn’t be as astonished as he is; you’re the one that has yet to break pattern.
Yuri’d fed him piece after piece of information about you. How you almost never leave your dorm when not in class, how you’re always studying or practicing all hours of the day, how school is your number one priority above all else—she really liked to talk.
He should’ve known you wouldn’t let anyone get in your way—not even him—given how the first time you met, you told him point blank that you would’ve rather been in the library than be forced to see him talk. 
Confident and direct from the very start. Unwavering in your goals. 
Jungkook should have known when you said you had a condition, that you didn’t want anything from him, but privacy for you.
You are young, driven, smart, and beautiful.
He’s never wanted someone to be in his life more.
Fuck.
He shifts in his seat, primarily for comfort, but also to buy a bit more time. You’ve yet to break his gaze.
Yes, it is a strange request, and yes it isn’t one he’s ever gotten before, but he can work with it. He understands your need to not be in the public eye. To not have your image decided by the public for you.
Most importantly, he knows what being seen with him can do to a person via the media. It’s terrifying. They’re like vultures, ready to pick the flesh off of any victim they deem fit.
More than one woman has been slandered off the palace grounds because of it. He also should have considered that before asking, but like he knew—like he knows—you’re smart. There’s no reason why you wouldn’t have thought this through thoroughly enough to weigh upon all of the possible outcomes.  
It was a day full of realizations. On both your parts is what he didn’t know.
So he really, seriously should not be as stunned, surprised and…still partially hard as he is. 
Here you are, staring at him, expecting a reply while his mouth is slightly parted and apparently speechless. It’s rare for him to be given such a harsh truth instead of the immediate yes he is so used to hearing. For someone to have this kind of power over him.
When he’d asked you, Jungkook had just wanted a friend. Someone to talk to, maybe hang out with, share jokes with. Someone to spend time with so his college experience isn’t as lonely as it’s turning out to be.
But where he saw a potential friendship, you saw potential disaster.
Because as much as the title grants him, being Prince isn’t a great thing for everyone around him.
Sometimes it destroys them.
He’s still learning though, that you aren’t just smart. You’re calculated. 
You are a scythe in a field of grass, a gust of wind in a foggy gulf, a sunbeam shining through the clouds on a rainy day.
You think things through to their every possibility, finding the best outcomes and worst fallouts. You did it with his request, and managed to find a solution that works at only a small hindrance to him.
So who the hell would he be if he didn’t take it?
The outside world already knows all of his friends. Granted about 95% of them are men, but that’s what you get when you grow up having the sons of the guards, groundskeepers and chefs around. The other 5% are the girls he met during childhood, the daughters of other royals and titled individuals.
And even then with them, the speculation never stopped. Not after years of platonic friendship. There was always a ‘what if?’ thrown onto them. So he understands that if he starts hanging out with a new girl, the media will go wild. Understands that existing in the same place as you and his social etiquette towards you have the power to make or break you, mentally, socially, even physically.
He understands.
So, everything considered?
Your one condition isn’t so bad after all.
And he has no problems with it.
“Agreed.”
You blink, clearly not expecting him to give in so quickly, or to at least debate it. Your eyebrows scrunch as you sputter, “Just like that?”
He grips the back of the chair, and leans forward again.
“I would never expect you to give anything up or be forced into an unwanted narrative because I asked you to be my friend. Of course I agree. It’ll be nice to have someone I don’t have to worry about the press bashing. To have someone normal, who I can be normal around, and who will, clearly, call me out on my shit or set me straight when I need it. So yeah,” he sucks a tooth, “Just like that.”
You flinch a little at his words. “Wait I lied, I have one more condition.”
He’s intrigued, especially considering the look on your face. “Go for it.”
“You can’t throw me in a dungeon for calling you out. My safety needs to be assured for any and all potential verbal ass whoopings you may receive in the future.”  
A full, loud cackle sounds from Jungkook, eyes crinkling as he says, “Deal.” And holds out his hand.
“Deal,” you say, shaking it and laughing with him. Because you know there aren’t any dungeons in the palace.
And somehow, you know that even if there were, he still wouldn’t.
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Chapter Four: Sunday Nights and Lost Memories
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A/N 2: we do be getting into though.
A/N 3: I know I’m jumping ahead here but I’m excited for you guys to read chapter 4, it’s one of my favourites so far!
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skeltnwrites · 2 months ago
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here's an excerpt from the shape of family part two to hold y'all over lol i will most likely post it tomorrow or monday just adding some finishing touches
Steve plops down on the bench across from you, Penelope at his hip. A silent, self-invitation he knows you won’t decline— you enjoy their company more than people-watching. He seems to find you no matter which way you drift, even through a sea of townsfolk.  A big scoop of chili is spooned from his paper bowl into a second. “Blow on it,” Steve reminds, planting it in front of Penelope.  She does blow on it, a spray of more spit than air that merits her a shoulder nudge to knock it off.  Penelope simpers over her steaming food as Steve offers you an apologetic look. Last you saw her, she was waving her way up the stairs to the costume contest. She’s since been bundled up– a tiara traded for a knit beanie and the gown from her dress-up bin crammed underneath a thick sweater and spilling out the hem.  The string lights bathe their faces in a white glow. It highlights the beauty mark on the slope of Penelope’s cheek, like a half of Steve’s pair in the same spot. It’s not often you get to just enjoy their company. No scrambling about deadlines or standards. It’s a calm you could get used to. But Steve’s always ten steps ahead, already plotting which crew needs the most tending to when he’s finished eating. He’s selfless like that. Your feet ache from running around, but Steve’s probably worse.
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justinspoliticalcorner · 5 months ago
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I am not usually one to offer diagnoses of people I’ve never met, but it does seem like the pundit class of the American media is suffering from severe memory loss. Because they’re doing exactly what they did in the 2016 presidential race – providing wildly asymmetrical and inflammatory coverage of the one candidate running against Donald J Trump. They have become a stampeding herd producing an avalanche of stories suggesting Biden is unfit, will lose and should go away, at a point in the campaign in which replacing him would likely be somewhere between extremely difficult and utterly catastrophic. They do this while ignoring something every scholar and critic of journalism knows well and every journalist should. As Nikole Hannah-Jones put it: “As media we consistently proclaim that we are just reporting the news when in fact we are driving it. What we cover, how we cover it, determines often what Americans think is important and how they perceive these issues yet we keep pretending it’s not so.” They are not reporting that he is a loser; they are making him one. According to one journalist’s tally, the New York Times has run 192 stories on the subject since the debate, including 50 editorials and 142 news stories. The Washington Post, which has also gone for saturation coverage, published a resignation speech they wrote for him. Not to be outdone, the New Yorker’s editor-in-chief declared that Biden not going away “would be an act not only of self-delusion but of national endangerment” and had a staff writer suggest that Democrats should use the never-before-deployed 25th amendment. Since this would have to be led by Vice-President Kamala Harris, it would be a sort of insider coup. And so it goes with what appears to be a journalistic competition to outdo each other in the aggressiveness of the attacks and the unreality of the proposals. It’s a dogpile and a panic, and there is no one more unable to understand their own emotional life, biases and motives than people who are utterly convinced of their own ironclad rationality and objectivity, AKA most of these pundits. Speaking of coups, we’ve had a couple of late, which perhaps merit attention as we consider who is unfit to hold office. This time around, Trump is not just a celebrity with a lot of sexual assault allegations, bankruptcies and loopily malicious statements, as he was in 2016. He’s a convicted criminal who orchestrated a coup attempt to steal an election both through backroom corruption and public lies and through a violent attack on Congress. The extremist US supreme court justices he selected during his last presidential term themselves staged a coup this very Monday, overthrowing the US constitution itself and the principle that no one is above the law to make presidents into kings, just after legalizing bribery of officials, and dismantling the regulatory state by throwing out the Chevron deference. [...] Biden is old. He was one kind of appalling in the 27 June debate, listless and sometimes stumbling and muddling his words. But Trump was another kind of appalling, in that almost everything he said was an outrageous lie and some of it was a threat. I get that writing about the monstrosity that is Trump faces the problem that it’s not news; he’s been a monster spouting lurid nonsense all his life (but his political crimes are recent, and his free-associating public soliloquies on sharks, batteries, toilets, water flow and Hannibal Lector, among other topics, are genuinely demented). He’s a racist, a fascist and a rapist (according to a civil-court verdict). We are deciding whether this nation has a future as a more-or-less democratic republic this November, and on that rides the fate of the earth when it comes to acting on climate change. If the US falters at this decisive moment in the climate crisis, it will drag down everyone else’s efforts. Under Trump, it will. But the shocking supreme court decisions this summer and the looming threat of authoritarianism have gotten little ink and air, compared to the hue and cry about Biden’s competence.
Rebecca Solnit at The Guardian on why the pundit class is calling for Joe Biden to suspend his campaign but not Donald Trump to also do the same (07.06.2024).
Rebecca Solnit's opinion column at The Guardian regarding the pundit class's demands for Joe Biden to end his campaign over a bad debate performance but not for Donald Trump to do the same over his 34 felonies is a masterclass.
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