#Mary and Doug

[permanent-fire-hazard]

If Mary and Doug don’t accidentally book a vacation at Stede and Ed’s inn then what’s the point

[blackbeardsheartbreak]

Ed and Stede have been working on their little “inn” for awhile. It’s coming together slowly. Ed is really enjoying their adventures in carpentry but his favorite time of day is after dinner when they can just be together.

Tonight they built a fire on the beach. Stede is sitting with his back against a log and Ed is lying with his head in Stede’s lap. Ed is gazing up at Stede who is looking into the fire while mindlessly playing with Ed’s hair.

Ed sees that Stede has just had an idea. Ed loves watching this man dream up new adventures for them.

“Should we take a little trip? Maybe we should visit the kids and Mary and Doug.”

Ed freezes. A tsunami of emotion is welling in his chest. He takes a deep breath and turns to face the fire. He’s frantically bottling and boxing up the inadequacy and jealousy and hurt. He hopes Stede hasn’t noticed. Has Stede noticed? Ed glances up. Stede’s still staring into the fire. How long has it been, seconds, minutes, hours. Breathe.

“Sure, babe. I’d love to meet your kids.” That sounded normal right?

The next few days pass in a blur. Ed hardly sleeps or eats or sits still. He just keeps finding more things to work on late into the night. Does Stede even know what this is doing to him?

——

Ed can barely think over the roaring in his head as they approach Mary’s house. He wants to bolt as Stede knocks on the door. Someone is ushering them in the house. Mary? What does she mean Stede can’t be seen here because he’s dead?

Inside is chaos. Kids come running and Stede is giving them gifts. Doug, presumably, is shaking Stede’s hand and smiling widely. Ed’s standing with his back against the front door like he just wants to melt through it and disappear.

“You must be Ed.”

Ed blinks back tears he didn’t even know were there and forces his eyes away from Stede.

Mary. Mary is beaming at him.

Stede told her about him?

“Come on, Ed, let’s get a drink.”

Mary takes Ed by the arm and leads him to another room. She pours them each a brandy and sits next to Ed on the sofa.

“So you’re the love of my ex-husband’s life?”

Ed studies Mary’s face. Is she laughing at him? No. She’s not. She’s genuinely thrilled to meet Ed.

‘The love of her ex-husband’s life’

Ed puts his head down and lets his hair hide his face. Warmth spreads through his chest. All the doubt and self-loathing that has been beating down on him since Stede suggested this trip is quickly evaporating. He takes a shaky deep breath. And another. He’s trying desperately to hold in everything that’s threatening to burst out.

When did Mary stand up? Ed’s suddenly aware that she’s standing behind the sofa. He feels her hand firmly on his back and hears her say softly, “Oh, sweetie, he LOVES you. Come on out and meet the kids when you’re ready.”

——

Ed doesn’t know when he fell asleep. It takes him a few moments to remember where he is. Mary’s house. He slowly opens his eyes and looks around. It must be late. It’s quiet. He fell asleep to the sound of children playing but all he hears now is low conversation in the other room. He realizes that he’s ravenous, having barely eaten in days. He stretches his knee and starts walking toward the other room.

Ed stops outside the room and listens to Stede telling Mary and Doug about their inn. How does Stede make everything sound like a romantic adventure? If Ed wasn’t starving he could stand here forever.

As Ed walks into the dining room Stede jumps up and ushers Ed to a seat. “You slept through dinner, but I made you a few sandwiches with the leftovers.” Ed gratefully takes a huge bite and a swig of the drink Stede hands him.

Ed tries find words to apologize for being so awkward and missing dinner, but Stede immediately jumps in and continues the story he’s telling about finding dead animals under the floorboards, pulling Ed into the story and smoothing over any unease that Ed’s feeling.

—-

The next morning Ed wakes to an empty bed in a quiet house. He wanders out of the guest room and sees Mary sitting alone at the table. She offers him tea and toast.

“Thanks, Mary.” They both know he’s thanking her for more than breakfast.

They fall into easy conversation. Ed tells Mary how Stede turned Ned Lowe’s whole crew against him. Mary tells Ed how Stede faked his own death with a jungle cat, a carriage, and a piano.

They are laughing so hard they don’t hear Stede, Doug, and the kids come bursting into the house after a morning of treasure hunting.

The kids eagerly show off what they dug up. Ed recognizes the shells and sea glass that Stede had been collecting for the past week. Is that Stede’s handwriting on that map? When did he plan all that?

Ed’s gazing adoringly at Stede when he hears Mary. “Stede! You didn’t tell me Ed is Blackbeard!”

Stede looks at Ed in surprise.

Shit! What was Ed thinking? He was just telling stories and Mary’s pretty easy to talk to actually and it just came out.

Without looking away from Ed, Stede replies, “He’s my Edward. That’s all that matters.”

——

A few days later they’re back on their own beach in front of a driftwood fire.

Ed’s thinking about Stede’s kids and how they are like two halves of Stede. Alma is a fucking lunatic and Louis is a sweet little gentleman. Alma wanted bloodier and scarier stories of piracy and Louis wanted to hear about lighthouse fuckeries and treasure hunting. Ed’s suddenly surprised at how protective he feels toward Stede’s children and how grateful he is that Mary and Doug are raising them.

“If you want … or need to … um … we can visit your kids more,” Ed offers. “Mary and Doug are great. Mary is … really wonderful.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Stede said. A week ago Ed would have spiraled hearing that admiration in Stede’s voice. “I knew you wouldn’t understand until you met her, darling.”

[paleoleigh]

I need Mary and Doug to show up at the inn so we can have an exchange that goes like:

Mary: Stede?!

Stede: Mary?!

Ed: Mary?

Stede: *remembering dinner at Anne and Mary Read's house* Ed...

Mary: *doing the math* Ed?

Stede: *affirmatively* Ed!

Ed: *confused, pointing at himself* Ed.

Doug: *also confused* ....I'll go wait in the carriage.

[hgedits]

I'd call those things love.

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY - S2E2 New Eden

[snake-snack-stede]

remember when stede saw mary’s paintings and was surprised a man walked through the door

[ghostbustermelanieking]

considering how little stede's faking his death mattered in the long run, and the fact that stede's still walking around using his real name in season 2, i'm pretty sure doug suggested stede fake his death so mary could keep the Widow Bonnet hook for her art career. like...

stede, chatting with doug in the middle of the night: so, i guess i should leave tomorrow!

doug, picturing the sick advertising that might come from THE TWICE-WIDOWED BONNET: hey, we should say you died again! :)

stede, immediately planning a needlessly excessive fuckery just to share with ed later: Doug That Is The Best Idea I've Ever Heard

[deskgirl]

I don’t know which is more big brained: people who write Izzy being hard dommed until he cries or people who write Izzy being soft dommed until he cries.

(Fic recommendations welcome)

[cool-person-yey]

being A Guy Lost In Space is a spectrum. On one end, we have Dr Ryland Grace, on the other end Mark Watney, and on the middle is Doug Eiffel.

[youshouldseemeinadeerstalker]

Original Comic by Mr. Fish

[dimity-lawn]

[fishfingersandscarves]

i can now release the piece i did for the @theartoffxckeryzine! such a pleasure to work on! 

[bobertbilliams]

Man, I love this cast ❤️

Photo courtesy of Blu del Barrio’s Instagram

[itswhatyougive]

Since Izzy is paralleled to Mary in "Uncomfortable in a Married State", he deserves to get his own Doug.

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY // S2E2 New Eden Since the other day, when the red burst appeared in the sky, I knew you were coming. That was the light from your ship, right? Your hands, your skin unravaged by the labor we do here. You're not from Terralysium. I can see the truth in your eyes.

[catsafari25]

I find it hilarious that Mark Watney and Ryland Grace are fairly similar in some ways (affectionate) but that one started with "I am pretty much fucked" and the other is a guy who unironically goes "holy moly"