#bei the blood moon

[illyanarasputinfan]

Christopher Fokken

[braddocklegacy]

X-Terminators #4 (2022)

[phierie]

Loved this episode of Married at First Sight Krakoa

[lesbiannieism]

thinking about doug “i got enlisted in this swordfight championship thing and i totally thought i was gonna die but it turned out to be a wedding to this really gorgeous warrior woman who’s a head taller than me who i can’t really talk to but she’s really hot and she protects me from danger and i immediately fell head over heels in love with her” ramsey

[sbhelarctos]

[iconuk01]

So Apocalypse has chosen his heir and it's... Doug Ramsey... the most unlikely possibility of the twelve chosen candidates (And therefor the most obvious winner for a cynical reader).

I have... feelings about this as an idea as you might imagine, and regrettably few of them are especially positive, but in an effort to hold on to optimism at some level, I shall wait and see where this goes.

I mean, I like the reasons Apocalypse chose Forge, Dani and Doug as possible heirs: those with not the greatest power levels, but a new way of looking at things which might proves useful.

Dani in particular is interesting in her reason for accepting a candidacy, given her vested interest in training future mutants.

And she turns him down because she doesn't need his help.

Forge he chose because of what he could offer the wrold, and what the world had thrown away in destroying Krakoa, but knowing that Forge also invented the mutant power neutraliser weapon makes unsuitable

The final narrative decision to take a mutant whose whole point was how low key his powers were and how otherwise close to baseline human he was and amping them up into... Revelation... It's going to take a lot of very good writing to make me invested in this. I hope there is plenty of that at least.

The fact he also gets the ugliest physical upgrade imaginable doesn't help. Doug managed to avoid the worst of 90's retoolings at the time by conveniently being dead, but this looks like the 90's slammed him with the subtlety of a frying pan to the face.

I might have expected this to be the end of part four of a five part story, and Doug turns it down in the finale because that's not how he operates, but, well, this is a new post-Krakoan age.

Oh well, let's see what comes next.

[rei-ismyname]

Cable (2020) Highlights Pt 1

It's a great run overall, and gives the character a much needed recontextualisation - 90s edgelord anti hero who's older than his parents becomes 'fresh faced teen struggling with insecurity and the legacy of his older self.'

He wants to have fun but he also drives himself relentlessly on self-appointed missions. He's dating all five Cuckoos at the same time but he's a pretty crappy boyfriend. He's deeply aware that he's not his older self and he's afraid to ask for help, to fail. He's struggling to enjoy what should be the best time of his life. He doesn't know how to be a teenager (not that anyone does,) especially not one who has to be prepared for Kyle Reese and forever war steez. Pouch life looms.

Issue 1 opens with Cable vs Wolverine in the Quarry (a gladiator arena/dojo thing for mutants to practice combat and settle beef.)

'Aww, is little Logan's metal ass too heavy to move?'

It's a hilarious line without context, though it does a lot of work in worldbuilding - establishing Young Cable's personality, Logan's place in the Summers-Grey polycule, mutant solidarity and culture, and the infrastructure ahead of the Crucible in X-Men #7. The quarry isn't used a lot, though we get a noodle incident where Magik is the only person to be disqualified.

What did Magik do? It was the very first match ever vs Gorgon of all people, and Silver Samurai (who has quite the rap sheet) flat out decided nope, you're done - get out of here. Probably sent his ass to Limbo or summoned demons lol. Good to see Callisto is a regulator, though aren't Artie and Leech kids? I I love that Rogue beating up Havok, and I headcanon that the Cuckoo fight was purely physical - a psychic duel is not a spectator sport whereas two identical teenage girls whaling on each other is.

Scott and Jean really want to make the most of getting a second chance at raising Cable, though they have their own insecurities and he really doesn't want to be seen as needing them. The moment in X of Swords when Cable cracks and opens up is also one of the funniest moments and what inspired this post.

That was the last thing Jean expected to hear. I wish we got Scott's face for the initial reaction, but we'll have to make do.

'.......'

'Doug's what?'

There's an all-time Quiet Council moment, too.

Ouch.

Next time... Swords are cool, and 'how much Deadpool is too much?'

[heckcareoxytwit]

Storm, Sunfire, Sunspot and the Arakki mutants gather around at Arakko-Mars during the aftermath of Blood Dawn the Arakki sparring ritual. The injured Sunspot tries to joke as a way of coping his pain from his ill-timed fight with a stronger Arakki mutant. He hopes that the Arakki mutants are not about to start another pain-based holiday. Bei the Blood Moon reminds him that Arakko lost its voice in Otherworld and now Redroot the Forest has finally returned to them. Cue to Bei's words, Sunfire manages to return Redroot with the help of Weaponless Zsen and Storm. After extracting Redroot from his chest, Storm helps to keep Sunfire alive by zapping his chest to jump-start his heart. Once Zsen had planted Redroot to the soil, Storm showers the Arakki mutant with rain to make her grow into normal size. Sunspot mentioned that he wallowed in self pity long enough and has a more important role to play. Bei says their pain will not be without purpose. Sunspot approaches Weaponless Zsen and tells her serving with her father (Fisher King) and aunt (Syzya of the Smoke) was an honor. Sunspot decides to relinquish his seat on the Night table and grants it to her so that he could go back to Earth and find his friends.

X-Men Unlimited Infinity Comic #120, 2024

[celadons-penultimate]

Well, I made one post where I told y'all about one of my weird, random X-Men / mutant ships (Polaris X Colossus), but then I remembered Tumblr doesn't have as restrictive a character limit as Twitter, so why not fit multiple ships into one post? So here goes, a few more (unranked) non-canon mutant pairings I'm in favor of, for no reason at all:

1) Bishop × Frenzy

2) Prodigy × Gentle × Trinary (YES, a polycule, I said wtf I said)

3) Dazzler × Ruckus (if Kwannon / Psylocke & Greycrow, a former Marauder, can find love worth rooting for, this is also possible)

4) Thunderbird × Bei the Blood Moon (with ALL disrespect, Cypher & Bei still feels like a joke pairing; Doug, John & Bei ALL deserve better)

5) Spyke × Tag (iirc, each was PLANNED to be gay in their respective stories, but neither was confirmed, some X-Men writer needs to get on that)

[tournament-of-x]

The Hole

Announcement!

The following ten characters will be receiving new portraits for all future matches! On the left are their old portraits, and on the right are their new portraits.

The Five-In-One | Stepford Cuckoos

Sunfire | Shiro Yoshida

M / Penance | Monet St. Croix

Galura | Gabrielle Diwa

Thunderbird | John Proudstar

Black Priestess | Selene Gallio

Bei the Blood Moon

Marrow | Sarah Rushman

Lactuca the Knower

Prodigy | David Alleyne

Credit for Prodigy’s new portrait goes to @poorlydone-xmensketches.

If you have any complaints or criticisms regarding this decision, feel free to make them known.

[sofiamantegafan110]

NEW X-MEN, SEASON 3, EPISODE 6

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS!!!!!

EPISODE 6: CONTEST OF SWORDS, PART 1

WE OPEN UP IN A GLADIATOR-STYLE ARENA IN OTHERWORLD THAT’S JAM-PACKED WITH PEOPLE. AMONG THEM ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF EARTH AND ARAKKO, WHO ARE ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE BATTLE. INSIDE A SMALL TENT ARE DOUG AND MEGAN, THE LATTER OF WHOM IS FREAKING OUT. DOUG TELLS HER TO CALM DOWN, AND SHE ASKS HIM IF HE KNOWS HOW SERIOUS THIS IS. SHE’S FIGHTING TO THE DEATH WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN’T LOSE. ERGO, SHE’S GOING TO DIE.

DOUG SIGHS AND PUTS A HAND ON MEGAN’S SHOULDER, TELLING HER THAT THE ODDS MAY BE STACKED AGAINST HER, BUT WHEN HAVE THEY NOT BEEN? SHE’S A MUTANT, AND IT’S TIME SHE STARTED FIGHTING LIKE ONE. MEGAN TELLS HIM THAT SHE’S NOT A FIGHTER. SHE’S JUST A PARTY GIRL WHO LIKES DRUGS, RAVES, AND ARIANA GRANDE.

DOUG: MEGAN, TAKE THIS FROM SOMEONE WITH THE LAMEST POWERS EVER. I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO BE ON A TEAM WITH A GUY WHO KNOWS EVERY LANGUAGE? I’VE ALWAYS BEEN THE UNDERDOG, BUT I’VE PULLED THROUGH. AND IT’S TIME YOU DO THE SAME.

MEGAN SMILES AS CESSILY ENTERS THE TENT, SAYING THAT IT’S ALMOST TIME FOR THE FIGHT. DOUG NODS AND ASSURES MEGAN THAT SHE’S GOT THIS BEFORE LEAVING WITH CESSILY. AS MEGAN SITS ALONE, ISCA SUDDENLY WALKS INTO THE TENT AND MEGAN WISHES HER GOOD LUCK. ISCA HUFFS BEFORE TELLING HER THAT IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO FORFEIT. BUT IF SHE’S GOING TO FIGHT, SHE SHOULDN’T HUMILIATE HERSELF.

MEGAN: JEEZ. I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE. WHY ARE YOU HERE, ISCA?

ISCA: TO GIVE YOU SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE.

MEGAN: SURE. SHOOT.

ISCA: UNBEATEN ISN’T JUST A NAME.

AS ISCA WALKS AWAY, MEGAN CALLS OUT TO HER.

MEGAN: YOUR SWORD IS CALLED MERCY, RIGHT?

ISCA: DON’T GET EXCITED, LITTLE SPRITE. THAT ONE IS JUST A NAME.

CLOSE UP ON MEGAN AS SHE GULPS NERVOUSLY.

CUE INTRO AND CREDITS

LATER, CESSILY AND DOUG MAKE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE SEATS BEFORE WALKING OVER TO THE OTHERS. CESSILY ASKS CLARICE WHAT THEY MISSED, AND SHE SAYS THAT IT’S BASICALLY A BUNCH OF SATURNYNE PROPAGANDA. MONET HUFFS AND ASKS HOW MEGAN IS. DOUG SAYS THAT SHE’S SCARED, BUT SHE’S WILLING TO SEE THIS THROUGH.

SUDDENLY, THE ARAKKII CHAMPIONS WALK PAST THEM TO THEIR SEATS. THE ENORMOUS POGG UR-POGG BUMPS INTO CESSILY AND HE TURNS TO HER, ANNOYED.

POGG UR-POGG: POGG UR-POGG’S WAY IS BLOCKED! MAKE WAY, LEST YE BE KNOCKED!

MERCURY: WELL, CESSILY UR-CESSILY COULDN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.

AS POGG UR-POGG WALKS PAST, GRUMBLING, DOUG NOTICES THE MYSTERIOUS BEI THE BLOOD MOON, AND HE WAVES AT HER. SHE TURNS TO FACE HIM, ANGERED, AND SAYS SOMETHING IN AN ALIEN LANGUAGE THAT IS LUCKILY TRANSLATED VIA SUBTITLES.

BEI: <AVERT THY EYES, SOFT BOY!>

CLARICE TURNS TO DOUG AND ASKS HIM WHAT SHE SAID, BUT HE TELLS HER THAT HE HAS NO IDEA.

ANNOUNCER: AND NOW, THE COMBATANTS! REPRESENTING KRAKOA, MEGAN GWYNN! AND DUELING FOR ARAKKO, THE APTLY NAMED ISCA THE UNBEATEN!

VICTOR: GIVE ‘EM HELL, MEGAN!

MONET: FUCK HER UP, PIXIE!

CLARICE: YOU GOT THIS, SIS!

MEGAN AND ISCA STAND IN THE ARENA. MEGAN DRAWS OUT THE STARLIGHT SWORD, SWEATING NERVOUSLY, BUT HER EYES ARE FOCUSED ON HER ADVERSARY. ISCA HOLDS HER BLADE FIRM, A SMIRK ON HER FACE.

ANNOUNCER: COMMENCE.

IMMEDIATELY, MEGAN SWINGS HER SWORD AT ISCA, WHO BLOCKS WITH EASE. SHE SMILES AND TELLS MEGAN THAT THAT’S GOOD. SHE LISTENED. ISCA THEN SLASHES AT MEGAN, BUT SHE DUCKS BEFORE SLASHING HER SWORD AT ISCA’S LEFT LEG.

BEI: YAAAAAH!

REDROOT: BRING ME HER HEAD!

VICTOR: GO MEGAN!

VOLTA SIMPLY HUFFS AS THE CHEERING CONTINUES.

MEGAN: CAN’T LOSE, HUH? JUST MEANS YA DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT!

ISCA: THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG.

MEGAN: THEN C’MON! LET’S GIVE ‘EM A SHOW!

THE TWO GIRLS CLASH THEIR SWORDS AGAINST EACH OTHER, DUELING GRACEFULLY. ON OCCASION, ISCA LANDS A SLASH ON MEGAN, BUT MEGAN COUNTERS RIGHT BACK. EVENTUALLY, THEIR SWORDS ARE LOCKED, AND MEGAN SUDDENLY REALIZES SOMETHING.

SUDDENLY, MEGAN SWEEPS HER LEG OUT, TRIPPING ISCA AND CAUSING HER TO DROP HER SWORD. MEGAN THEN PLANTS HER FOOT ON ISCA’S CHEST, POINTING HER BLADE AT HER.

CROWD: *CHANTING* FI-NISH HER! FI-NISH HER! FI-NISH HER! FI-NISH HER!

AS THE CROWD CHANTS, ISCA TELLS MEGAN TO GET IT OVER WITH. IT’S TIME TO GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. MEGAN LOOKS AT ISCA, AT FIRST DETERMINED, AND THEN UNSURE. THE CHANTING GETS LOUDER AS MEGAN LOOKS AROUND, FRANTICALLY, BEFORE FINALLY LOWERING HER BLADE.

MEGAN: I CAN’T! I CAN’T DO IT! I FORFEIT!

VICTOR: NO!

CLARICE: MEGAN!

THE WHITE SWORD: TO THE UNBEATEN.

SUDDENLY, SATURNYNE STEPS ONTO THE FIELD, ASKING IF THE DUEL IS OVER ALREADY. MEGAN TELLS HER THAT SHE’S NOT GOING TO KILL ISCA, AND THAT SHE FORFEITS THE DUEL.

SATURNYNE: SUCH A SHAME. I HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES FOR YOU, LITTLE PIXIE. BUT THE DIE IS CAST. AND YOU MUST GO HOME.

CLARICE: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SATURNYNE: WELL, SHE FORFEITS. AND THAT MEANS SHE RELINQUISHES HER POSITION IN THE CONTEST. SHE MUST BE SENT HOME, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

VICTOR: THAT’S NOT FAIR!

SATURNYNE: ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR, BOY.

CLARICE TURNS TO MEGAN AND TRIES TO SPEAK, BUT MEGAN TELLS HER THAT IT’S OKAY. SHE DID HER BEST, AND NOW SHE’S DONE. BUT SHE’LL MAKE SURE TO HELP THE TEAM AT HOME AND TELL THEM WHAT’S GOING ON HERE SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO WORRY.

THE TEAM ENVELOPS MEGAN IN A GROUP HUG AS THEY SAY GOODBYE, AND ISCA TELLS MEGAN THAT SHE TOLD HER. UNBEATEN ISN’T JUST A NAME. MEGAN NODS, BEFORE STANDING AWAY FROM THE OTHERS. A PORTAL OPENS UP AND MEGAN WAVES GOODBYE BEFORE STEPPING THROUGH IT. IT CLOSES, AND PIXIE IS GONE.

SATURNYNE: WELL, ONE POINT FOR ARAKKO, CLEARLY. NOW GET READY, EVERYONE. WE’RE HAVING A PARTY.

VOLTA: THIS PARTY… IS IT A CHALLENGE?

SATURNYNE: OH, IT’S A CHALLENGE, ALL RIGHT. YOUR LITTLE ADVISOR HERE BETTER MAKE SURE HE SPEAKS EVERY LANGUAGE. AND QUICK.

EVERYONE LOOKS AT DOUG AS HE STARES, CONFUSED. SUDDENLY, FOUR GORGEOUS WOMEN DRESSED IN WHITE GRAB HIM AND DRAG HIM AWAY AS HE PLEADS FOR THE OTHERS TO HELP. LAURA SAYS THAT THIS IS MADNESS. MEGAN HAS JUST LEFT THE COMPETITION AND NOW THEY’RE STARTING ANOTHER CHALLENGE.

A YELL OF ANGER CAN BE HEARD AS MORE WOMEN GRAB BEI. SHE CONTINUES TO YELL AND SCREAMS SOMETHING AS DOUG’S EYES WIDEN. HE ASKS WHAT SHE’S SAYING AND SAYS THAT HE CAN’T UNDERSTAND HER. HE THEN ASKS BEI TO SAY SOMETHING ELSE, AND SHE DOES SO.

BEI: <I WILL PAINT THEIR TOMBSTONES WITH THEIR BLOOD!>

DOUG: AMAZING. I CAN UNDERSTAND EVERYONE HERE, BUT NOT YOU. I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

MONET: STOP TRYING TO FUCK HER, MR. RAMSEY!

DOUG: HEARD THAT!

AS DOUG AND BEI ARE DRAGGED OFF, EVERYONE LOOKS AT MONET AND SHE SHRUGS.

LATER, DOUG CAN BE SEEN IN A SERENE-LOOKING ROOM AS THE LADIES DRESS HIM IN A WHITE ROBE AND PLACE A FLOWER GARLAND ON HIS HEAD. HE’S STILL A BIT CONFUSED, AND LOOKS OVER AS CESSILY ENTERS, SNICKERING AT HIS WARDROBE.

DOUG: HOW IS EVERYONE?

CESSILY: VIC IS INCONSOLABLE. EVERYONE ELSE IS… FINE, I GUESS. I LEFT THEM MINGLING WITH THE ARAKKII, BUT NO ONE’S REALLY TALKING TO ISCA. HOW ARE YOU?

DOUG: TERRIBLE. HAVE YOU SEEN WHO I’M FIGHTING? SHE’S GONNA KILL ME!

CESSILY: TRUE. BUT SOMEONE SET UP A BAR AND THEY’RE MAKING COCKTAILS, SOOOO… I THINK IT’S MORE LIKE A DINNER? I DUNNO. THEY BROUGHT IN A CAKE.

DOUG BLANCHES AS THE TWO OF THEM WALK TO THE DOOR.

DOUG: A CAKE? OH MY GOD. CESSILY, BEI ISN’T GONNA KILL ME…

THE DOORS OPEN, REVEALING A ROOM AKIN TO A WEDDING CHAPEL. THE NEW X-MEN AND THE ARAKKII STAND ON OPPOSITE SIDES, AND IN THE FRONT IS BEI, IN A WHITE DRESS AND WEARING A VEIL THAT COVERS HER FACE. SATURNYNE WELCOMES DOUG, SAYING THAT SHE WAS WORRIED HE’D LEAVE HIS BRIDE AT THE ALTAR.

DOUG: …SHE’S GONNA MARRY ME!

CESSILY: OKAY, I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW THIS TURNS OUT!

AS CESSILY JOINS THE OTHERS, DOUG WALKS UP TO BEI, SAYING THAT HE’S SO HAPPY NOT TO FIGHT, HE COULD KISS HER. NOT REALLY, BUT SHE KNOWS WHAT HE MEANS. SATURNYNE THEN TELLS HIM TO SHARE HIS VOWS WITH THE GATHERED, AND HE SIGHS.

DOUG: BEI THE BLOOD MOON. THIS IS KINDA CRAZY ‘CAUSE I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, BUT I GUESS YOU’RE GOING TO BE MY WIFE. SO I PROMISE TO UPHOLD MY VOW TO YOU FOR THE DURATION OF THIS CHALLENGE, OR WHATEVER. AND I’LL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL THAT WE DID THIS INSTEAD OF SWORD FIGHT, BECAUSE I’M NOT READY TO DIE.

CESSILY SNIFFLES BACK TEARS, AND MONET LOOKS AT HER.

BEI THEN GOES NEXT, BUT WE ARE UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND HER, PER USUAL. DOUG LOOKS AT THE ARAKKII AND ISCA SAYS THAT THESE ARE GOOD VOWS. HE SHOULD ACCEPT THEM. DOUG SAYS THAT HE DOES, AND EVEN THOUGH HE CAN’T UNDERSTAND HER, HE ACTUALLY THINKS SHE’S VERY FASCINATING.

SATURNYNE: YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.

DOUG: OH, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT. WE HARDLY KNOW EACH OTHER. I…

BEI REMOVES HER VEIL AND WE END UP TRULY SEEING HER FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME. SHE’S ACTUALLY VERY BEAUTIFUL IN AN ALIEN SORT OF WAY WITH PINK EYES AND YELLOW AND BLACK MARKINGS ON HER EYES. DOUG IMMEDIATELY FORGETS WHAT HE WAS SAYING, AND TELLS HER THAT SHE’S REALLY PRETTY.

CESSILY: KISS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUTTA HER, BOY!!!!

MONET: CESSILY!

CESSILY: WHAT? I LOVE WEDDINGS!

DOUG BARELY HAS TIME TO REACT BEFORE BEI ENVELOPS HIM IN A PASSIONATE KISS.

SATURNYNE: WELL, ISN’T THAT INTERESTING? I THOUGHT YOU BOTH WOULD CHICKEN OUT, BUT WHAT CAN I SAY? I’M IN A GOOD MOOD. A POINT FOR EACH. MISS KINCAID, GET READY. YOUR CHALLENGE IS NEXT. BUT FIRST, SHALL WE CUT CAKE?

A SCOREBOARD MATERIALIZES IN A PAPYRUS FONT AS DOUG AND BEI LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

SCORE: ARAKKO: 2 * KRAKOA: 1

A FEW MINUTES LATER, CESSILY WALKS THROUGH A DUNGEON-LIKE AREA, AND SOME TEXT SHOWS US THAT SHE IS IN THE HOLY REPUBLIC OF FAE. SHE IS COMMENTING ON HOW GOOD THAT CAKE WAS, AND THEN STOPS IN FRONT OF A DOOR FLANKED BY TWO GUARDS.

CESSILY: YEAH, UM… HI? I’M TRYING TO FIND MY WAY TO THE ARENA, BUT THIS SHIT IS REALLY TURNING ME AROUND. AND I HAVE TO PICK UP ONE OF THESE STUPID CARDS BEFORE I CAN DO ANYTHING! IT’S SO STUPID! LIKE, CAN YOU JUST POINT ME TO WHERE MY ‘CHAIR OF ASSES’ IS?

THE GUARD DOESN’T RESPOND AND SIMPLY GESTURES TO THE DOOR. CESSILY THANKS HIM BEFORE HEADING THROUGH IT, INTO A BRIGHTLY-COLORED ARENA. THE MOMENT SHE ENTERS, THE CAMERA IS UPSIDE-DOWN BEFORE RIGHTING ITSELF, AND SOME MORE TEXT INSTRUCTS US THAT SHE IS NOW IN THE FLOATING KINGDOM OF ROMA REGINA. CESSILY WAVES AND BEAMS PROUDLY.

CESSILY: HELLO, OTHERWORLDIANS! WAIT… AM I PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY?

SUDDENLY, THE GROUND SHAKES AND CESSILY TURNS TO SEE POGG UR-POGG LUMBER INTO THE ARENA.

POGG UR POGG: POGG UR-POGG IS THE MORE FIT! YOUR SOLE CHANCE IS TO FORFEIT!

CESSILY: FAT CHANCE, HOG.

POGG UR-POGG: POGG! POGG UR-POGG!

CESSILY: YA SURE? ‘CAUSE IT’S HOGS THAT GET BUTCHERED.

CESSILY DRAWS HER BLADES, BUT SUDDENLY, THEY ARE GRABBED BY SATURNYNE, WHO SAYS THAT THIS IS A CONTEST OF ARMS. SHE THEN DIRECTS THEM OVER TO A STONE SLAB.

SATURNYNE: HANDS CLASPED, SHOULDERS SQUARE, ELBOWS IN THE POCKET. PIN TO WIN.

CESSILY GROANS BEFORE SITTING DOWN AND CLASPING HANDS WITH POGG UR-POGG.

POGG UR-POGG: POGG UR-POGG WILL TEAR BABY ARM FROM SOCKET, AND THEN KEEP IT IN HIS POCKET.

SATURNYNE: ON THE COUNT OF THREE, TWO…

SUDDENLY, POGG UR-POGG SLAMS CESSILY’S HAND DOWN SO HARD, IT CRACKS THE SLAB OF STONE. SHE GLARES AS HE THEN STARTS DOING SOME WEIRD LITTLE DINOSAUR VICTORY DANCE.

POGG UR-POGG: WON! POGG WON, WON, WON!

CESSILY: YOU KNOW, IT DOESN’T COUNT AS A RHYME IF YOU JUST REPEAT THE WORD, ASSHOLE!

SCORE: ARAKKO: 3 * KRAKOA: 1

A FEW MINUTES LATER, WE SEE LAURA WALKING THROUGH WHAT LOOKS LIKE A DESERT AT NIGHT. SHE TELLS SATURNYNE THAT SHE CAN FEEL HER WATCHING AND ASKS WHERE SHE IS. SATURNYNE TELLS HER THAT SHE IS EVERYWHERE, AND LAURA IS NOWHERE. LAURA LOOKS UP AT THE SKY AND SEES A BEAUTIFUL COLLECTION OF STARS, NEBULAS, AND PLANETS.

SATURNYNE: YOU ARE IN BLIGHTSPOKE; THE REALM OF COLLAPSES REALITIES.

LAURA: OKAY. LET’S DO THIS.

SUDDENLY, A PALE HAND BELONGING TO THE SUMMONER EMERGES FROM THE SAND, DRAGGING LAURA DOWN. SHE GASPS AND CLUTCHES THE MURAMASA BLADE AS SHE’S PULLED INTO THE SAND.

SATURNYNE: YOU SEE, LAURA, YOU THINK IT’S SUMMONER YOU’RE FIGHTING TO THE DEATH… BUT IT’S ACTUALLY BLIGHTSPOKE ITSELF. HOW LONG CAN TWO UNBREAKABLE FIGURES SURVIVE THESE BROKEN DIMENSIONS AS THE RUINED WHEEL OF BLIGHTSPOKE TURNS?

MEANWHILE, THE NEW X-MEN WATCH AS LAURA BATTLES SUMMONER IN AN EVER-CHANGING LANDSCAPE. FIRST, THEY’RE IN THE FRIGID ARCTIC, THEN, THEY’RE BATTLING IN A METEOR SHOWER. IN ONE DIMENSION, THEY’RE THE OPPOSITE GENDER, IN ANOTHER, THEY’RE ZOMBIES, IN ANOTHER, THEY’RE ROBOTS. THEN, AS LAURA IS BEING STRANGLED BY VINES, SHE THROWS HER SWORD AT SUMMONER, AND IT LODGES ITSELF IN HIS EYE, PIERCING THROUGH HIS HEAD. HE STAGGERS A BIT, AND THEN FALLS.

LAURA: ALL RIGHT. I WON.

SATURNYNE: NOT SO FAST, X-23. I SAID IT WAS A FIGHT TO THE DEATH. SUMMONER FOUGHT TO THE DEATH. THE POINT GOES TO ARAKKO.

SCORE: ARAKKO: 4 * KRAKOA: 1

A FEW MINUTES LATER, LAURA AND JULIAN ARE IN A LOUNGE AREA, SURROUNDED BY BOTTLES AS SATURNYNE STARTS MIXING DRINKS FOR THEM. JULIAN ASKS WHY THEY’RE HERE, AND SHE TELLS THEM THAT IT’S TIME FOR THE NEXT ROUND. JULIAN IS CONFUSED. HE WONDERS WHY HE HAS TO FIGHT LAURA WHEN THEY’RE ON THE SAME SIDE. SATURNYNE TELLS THEM THAT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT, BUT WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT THEY GET TO SAMPLE SOME OF THE FINEST, RAREST LIQUOR IN ALL THE WORLDS.

JULIAN: A DRINKING CONTEST? THIS MAKES NO SENSE? WHERE EVEN ARE WE?

SATURNYNE: YOU ARE IN THE CROOKED MARKET, HOME OF MAD JIM JASPERS. NOW DRINK UP, AND REMEMBER, IN THE CROOKED MARKET, THERE’S ALWAYS A COST.

AS SATURNYNE VANISHES, JULIAN ASKS LAURA WHAT’S GOING ON. SHE ASKS IF IT REALLY MATTERS AS LONG AS THEY SCORE A POINT FOR THEIR TEAM. THEY BOTH START DRINKING AND JULIAN SAYS THAT THIS IS CRAZY. HE REALLY DIDN’T EXPECT THE CHALLENGES TO BE LIKE THIS. LAURA SHRUGS AND CONTINUES DRINKING.

JULIAN: HEY, THIS REMINDS ME *GULP* OF WHEN WE WENT TO THAT STRIP CLUB. *GULP* ‘MEMBER? YOU GOT ABSOLUTELY SHIT-FACED.

LAURA DOESN’T RESPOND AND KEEPS DRINKING.

JULIAN: HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT SUMMONER ASSHOLE? ‘CAUSE I SWEAR, I WAS GONNA KILL HIM MYSELF IF HE DIDN’T PUT ON SOME FUCKIN’ PANTS.

LAURA: IT’S NOT HIM. I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT… WELL, ABOUT DAKEN.

JULIAN: OH, RIGHT. THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A BROTHER THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT? HOW’RE YOU HOLDING UP?

LAURA: NOT SURE. LOGAN WON’T RETURN MY CALLS. AND I CAN’T HELP WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHY HE DIDN’T STICK AROUND TO BE A FATHER. AND THEN, THERE’S KIMURA. SHE’S BEEN HAUNTING MY DREAMS LATELY. I JUST CAN’T STOP WORRYING ABOUT HER.

JULIAN: IT’S OKAY, LAURA. WE’LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN WE COME TO IT. RIGHT NOW, REMEMBER THAT WE’RE DOING THIS FOR SOFIA. SHE NEEDS OUR HELP. AND THE SOONER WE BEAT ANNIHILATION, THE BETTER.

LAURA NODS AND DRINKS AGAIN.

LAURA: THANK YOU, JULIAN.

JULIAN: HEY, WHAT’RE BOYFRIENDS-SLASH-DRINKING-BUDDIES FOR?

SCORE: ARAKKO: 4 * KRAKOA: 2

MEANWHILE, IN A PLACE KNOWN AS THE STARLIGHT CITADEL, SATURNYNE TELLS WAR AND SOLEM THAT KRAKOA’S CHALLENGE IS ALREADY UNDERWAY, AND NOW IT’S THEIR TURN. AND SHE DOESN’T THINK IT’LL BE A PROBLEM CONVINCING THEM TO TEAR EACH OTHER APART.

SOLEM GRIPS HIS MURAMASA BLADE WHILE WAR HOLDS HER FLAMING SWORD. SOLEM COMMENTS THAT THIS IS VERY EXCITING. A BEREAVED WIDOW IS OFFERED THE OPPORTUNITY TO AVENGE HER LOST HUSBAND. BUT HE HAS OTHER PLANS.

SOLEM: SATURNYNE, DEAR? BRING ME THE GIRL.

BACK IN THE CROOKED MARKET, LAURA SUDDENLY VANISHES.

IN THE STARLIGHT CITADEL, LAURA REAPPEARS, WONDERING WHAT’S GOING ON AND SOLEM TELLS HER THAT SHE MUST PAY A DEBT.

LAURA: I OWE YOU NOTHING.

SOLEM: AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU DO. SEE, WE BOTH HAVE A MURAMASA BLADE. YOU GOT YOURS THE EASY WAY, AND I GOT MINE THE HARD WAY. I COULD HAVE JUST GONE TO LATVERIA AND TAKEN THAT ONE, BUT YOU ALREADY HAD IT. SO, AS SUCH, YOU OWE ME.

LAURA DRAWS HER CLAWS AND SLASHES SOLEM, BUT SHE’S SURPRISED TO SEE SHE HASN’T MADE A DENT.

LAURA: HOW…?

SOLEM: ADAMANTIUM-ENFORCED SKIN. IMPRESSIVE, ISN’T IT? YOU CAN TOUCH IT IF YOU LIKE.

WAR: SOLEM, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

SOLEM: I KNOW YOU’RE KEEN ON REVENGE, WAR. YES, I KILLED YOUR HUSBAND A CENTURY AGO. BUT IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN…

SOLEM SUDDENLY JUMPS OFF THE LEDGE OF THE ARENA ONLY TO LAND ON THE BACK OF A RED DRAGON. HE SMIRKS AS HE RIDES AWAY.

SOLEM: …X-23 HERE JUST KILLED YOUR SON.

WAR TURNS TO LAURA, HER HEAD BURNING EVEN BRIGHTER THAN BEFORE AS SHE ASKS HER IF THAT’S TRUE. SATURNYNE GRINS BEFORE INSTRUCTING THEM TO PREPARE. THE FIRST TO SEVER AN APPENDAGE WINS.

LAURA: OH NO.

WAR ANGRILY SLASHES AT LAURA, DECLARING THAT IF SHE’S LOST HER SON, THEN LAURA WILL LOSE HER HEAD. THE SLASH HITS, LEAVING A CAUTERIZED SCAR ON LAURA’S SHOULDER BLADE. LAURA DEFENDS HERSELF FROM WAR’S ATTACKS, BUT REALIZES THAT SHE’S FIGHTING RATHER CLUMSILY.

LAURA: THAT DRINK… WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

SATURNYNE: I TOLD YOU, LAURA… IN THE CROOKED MARKET, THERE’S ALWAYS A COST.

LAURA TURNS TO HER ANGRILY, AND LEAVES HERSELF WIDE OPEN FOR WAR, WHO BRINGS HER SWORD DOWN IN A FLAMING ARC, LODGING IN LAURA’S NECK. WAR LOOKS AT HER, SHOCKED.

WAR: HOW…? YOUR HEAD… IT SHOULD BE MINE…

LAURA GRINS.

LAURA: ADAMANTIUM SPINE, BITCH!

LAURA THEN UNSHEATHES HER CLAWS AND SLASHES AT WAR, SEVERING HER RIGHT HAND. WAR SCREAMS IN RAGE AND PAIN AS FLAMES BURST FROM THE STUMP OF HER HAND. LAURA STANDS UP, WEARY AND WITH WAR’S SWORD STILL STUCK IN THE NECK. MEANWHILE, THE NEW X-MEN CHEER.

SATURNYNE: THE POINT GOES TO SOLEM. ARAKKO IS CURRENTLY AT FIVE POINTS WHILE KRAKOA IS AT TWO. LET THE GAMES CONTINUE.

LAURA: WILL SOMEONE PULL THIS SWORD OUT OF MY NECK?

[mispelled]

hi! I can't remember if I've sent in a request or not. if I have ignore this

I'd like to request Bei the Bloodmoon (X-Men character)

Thanks for voting!

Vote Glenn for a doodle

[braddocklegacy]

Betsy Braddock mantra: “Die or be killed”

[big-gay-apocalypse]

i need a whole series on the working dynamic of this trio

// X-Men Unlimited Infinity Comic #42

[badger-with-a-boa]

I really love this page so much & I don't know why

[sbhelarctos]

Doug Ramsey and the bad bitches he pulled by being autistic

Inferno (2021) #4