#Marie Miller

[gayestpiano]

i made a playlist of song titles in chronological order

update/disclaimer: not all of the songs on the playlist are in these screenshots! i think it would've been too many pics but the link is there if you want to see all of them. i've also added dozens of suggestions from other users since posting this so these screenshots are outdated

[typewriter-worries]

I'll Eat You Up, I Love You So

A Primer For the Small Weird Loves, Richard Siken | The Embrace II, Ron Hicks | Henry and June: From “A Journal of Love,” The Unexpurgated Diary (1931-1932) of Anaïs Nin, Henry Miller (@theoptia) | the night belongs to lovers, Ilaria Ratti | Dark. Sweet.: New & Selected Poems, Linda Hogan (@feral-ballad) | Intimacy, Angelica Alzona | Shame is an Ocean I Swim Across, Mary Lambert (@synbeam) | The Kiss, Edvard Munch | Summer Morn in New Hampshire, Claude McKay

[janothergay]

I too wish to be perpetually cast as a lesbian, gay or bisexual in a project by Mike Flanagan; like to charge, reblog to cast

[n-jostcn]

the song of achilles — madeline miller

night shift — stephen king

euripedes — anne carson

circe — madeline miller

a conjuring of light — v.e. schwab

west wind — mary oliver

the song of achilles — madeline miller

the fragile threads of power — v.e. schwab

[spiderliliez]

They will live a blessed, privileged life, and depart the stage together. [+] CARLA GUGINO 🥀 [+] ..more on “The Fall of the House of Usher” 🎬

[classypauli]

𝑫𝑶𝑪𝑻𝑶𝑹’𝑺 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻

Part 2

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader

Summary: After so long Tara finally meets you again... only this time a little drunk.

Word count: 3k

It has now been a couple of weeks since visiting the hospital. People would think that Tara has already forgotten about what happened but the opposite is true. In those weeks there wasn´t a day she would not think about you. Her mind was repeating what happened and everytime a smile grew on her face. Mindy and Chad started to make fun of her, saying she looked like a kid first time having a crush. She doesn´t care.

Tara wanted to see you, so badly. She started thinking about how to get to see you again, like she would play another attack and go to the hospital, which to be honest was too cruel, or she would just go there and act like she had some examination and suddenly she saw you start to talk with you, then you would ask her to go on a date with her, you would start dating and-

God, she needs to stop. Young Carpenter sighed and put her head on the table. The voice of her professor was muted in her ears, today she felt like sleeping, just laying in her bed all day doing nothing. It was friday and she promised to go to some party. Mindy has been talking about it forever.

„Mindy I´m not in a mood right now.“ The girl turned her forehead against the table.

„I didn´t even say anything!“ Mindy scanned the shorter girl, looking for any signs of sickness. „You don´t feel good?“ she asked now with a normal tone. Tara shook her head.

„Well then we should probably call some doctor, who knows, maybe they will help you.“ Tara punched the girl beside her, making an angry noise from being teased on.

„Who does he think he is?!“ Tara was angry. They were currently at the party Mindy talked about. Everything was fine at first, everyone was minding their business, and they danced and drank, talked and joked around. It was so much fun.

But that fun soon disturbed that idiot Frankie. He was being himself of course and was trying to get with every girl there, including Tara. But the girl wasn´t in the mood for his stupid games. At first, she ignored him but as soon as he was touchy and started grabbing her to go upstairs, she became furious.

She yelled at him so hard the boy even flinched, wasn´t expecting this behavior from a sweet girl like Tara. Yeah, like she was some easy prey. He then became angry and embarrassed but knowing a lot of people were around him he couldn´t do anything.

„He is a prick Tara forget about him.“ Mindy was standing beside her watching as her friend was getting more alcohol into her cup. Tara wasn´t really drunk, yet at least. And after this incident, she just wanted to get alcohol into her system to forget about his ugly ass face.

„Like...“ the short girl let out and furious sigh out of her lips. „he is such a fucking idiot I´m surprised no girl has punched him yet.“ Tara shook her head at the bitter taste as the alcohol touched her tongue. Maybe she will be first.

„Oh! And on top of that-“

„Tara.“ Mindy said from her side but she only continued, she didn´t even notice the hand of her on her right shoulder.

„-he even-„

„Tara.“ Mindy said a little louder through the loud music that was playing in the house.

„Fuck Mindy what!“ Tara looked at her friend, raising her voice a little. She wasn´t angry at her, of course not and Mindy also knew that, but Tara had a short temper.

„Apollo at 9 o´clock.“

Tara turned pale. Her eyes widen and her body becomes stiff. She felt like she had forgotten how to breathe. What did she say? No, that can´t be. The only person they were calling Apollo was...

„Tara fucking turn around.“ Mindy said between her clenched teeth as she kept looking at the way she told her to look at.

Tara took a big breath trying to calm her beating heart and shot her eyes to the left. There was a group of friends chatting and laughing, they had beers and cups in their hands as they were standing by the side of the room so as not to disturb anybody.

She scanned the group and suddenly saw the familiar figure she had been so desperate to find these past weeks. You were standing there in your civil clothes and cup in your hand. Your bright smile could be seen from every spot of the room, smiling at your friends as you were talking about something, sipping on your drink.

„Tell me I´m not crazy.“ Tara´s eyes kept looking at you as if she was afraid you would disappear again. Her chest kept rising and falling at a fast speed.

„No Tara, you´re definitely not.“ Mindy may only see you from a photo but this was definitely you. You looked far better in a person than in a photo, she must tell.

The young Carpenter turned to Mindy with wide eyes and eyebrows raised. „Oh my God! Oh my God! What do I do?!“ she quickly looked at her clothes if they looked fine. „Do I look good? I don´t have anything between my teeth?“ she smiled widely showing her teeth Mindy to check.

„Stop Tara! Calm down.“ Mindy took her shoulders to make her look at her. „Okay okay stop right now. No, you don´t have anything between your teeth. You´re fine.“

Deep and slow breaths were the next thing she needed to do or she would have another attack and that would be pretty embarrassing. It was just you. Yeah, just the cute doctor who took care of her at the hospital. Yes, only you, as if you were someone special-

Of course, you were special! To her! She wanted to impress you so badly. The girl was always thinking about the ways she would meet you again, what would she say to you, what would she be wearing, and how she would impress you... She looked like a garbage at the moment.

Today Tara didn´t give a fuck about what would her clothes be or how she would style her hair. She just wanted to have a little fun from studying and enjoy the night with her friends.

She looked at your way one more time and your eyes met. You squint your eyes at the girl as if you were trying to remember something. She quickly turned her head to Mindy, a scared look swimming in her eyes.

„Mindy. She saw me.“

„And now she´s making her way here.“

„No, that can´t be real.“

„Oh yes, it is.“

„No no no no.“ Tara shook her head to left and right trying to put herself together. She wasn´t ready to face you. This is not how she imagined your second meeting.

„Hi.“ Mindy looked at you and greeted you back. She took Tara again by her shoulders and turned her to you.

„Hi.“ The short girl said as she was now looking at your pretty eyes. You were smiling at her like you were the first time you saw each other.

„I´m sorry I didn´t wanna disturb but... I think I know you.“ You now lowered your eyebrows a bit and kept scanning Tara´s face.

What? Do you know her? Oh my God, you remember! The girl´s heart started beating in her chest as she now realized that. You wouldn´t remember if she didn´t catch your attention, right? Right?!

„Uhm... I-“

„Oh! I know! You were in a hospital! I knew you were familiar.“ You smiled widely at her, you looked happy that you could remember after all a lot of people came through your hands every day.

Tara breathed out as she looked down. „Yeah,“ she laughed „you got me.“

„Oh, you okay now? You had any complications after?“ You kept asking her as you scanned her face and body, not in a disgusting way. But let´s be honest, Tara wouldn´t mind that either.

The shorter girl smiled softly, playing with her hands as she was softly swaying her body to the sides like a small child. „No no, everything has been fine since then.“ She smiled shyly at you. „Thanks again.“. You just shook your head like she had nothing to thank for. You were just too sweet.

Mindy offered you and your group to be with them and after the introduction, some went to drink more in the kitchen or went to the dance floor. The three of you along with some of your friends were sitting on a couch in a living room with drinks in your hands, talking and laughing at others' dancing skills.

You were so friendly and your friends too, Tara was looking at you the whole time, listening carefully every time you started speaking so none of the words could slip her. The Carpenter didn´t even notice how much alcohol she drank, guess it was because of the stress from your presence but as soon as she stood up, she could feel everything.

Oh no. Her mind was now spinning, „I´m going to the toilet.“ Mindy offered to go with her as she saw her friend's face. She was drunk.

„Oh my God, Mindy.“ These were the first words that left her mouth as she saw herself in a mirror. Her eyes were down and her face was all sweaty from the hot room and alcohol. Tara touched her cheek at the state and turned around to her friend. „I can´t go back looking like this.“ Her mind was spinning and she barely could control her legs. „I´m so fucked up.“

Mindy was behind her smirking, leaning against the bathroom door, clearly dunk as well. „Tomorrow morning will be fun.“ She laughed to herself, eyes closed from the sharp light of the bathroom.

„Hey! Are you even listening to me?“ Tara went to her but stumbled a little. Mindy laughed at her clumsy friend. She wasn´t as drunk as Tara, she could still walk normally. The only thing she was more giggling than usual.

„Come on, it´s fine. Or do you wanna leave Y/N?“ Mindy asked Tara. „Did you forget about how you were these couple of weeks?“.

Right. She can´t do that. She needs to get your number, at least that. They went to the group again but with each step they took the alcohol in their system could be felt more and more. Tara was now so drunk that she laughed at everything she saw. The girl sat beside you again but this time a little more closer than she was before, you turned to her and smiled at her. She giggled at you as she tilted her head a little.

You could see her cheeks were red and her eyes had fallen a little. Every time she was speaking her voice was really loud and her hands were everywhere around the place, even almost smacked you but you were quick to dodge it. Yep, she was drunk.

Tara´s mobile kept vibrating a couple of times but she only ignored that. It was Sam, she was worried about her because they agreed that Tara would inform her every now and then that everything was fine. The first time you caught the notification you wanted to warn Tara about it but then you saw it.

On her wallpaper was your photo from the hospital, the one with all of your colleagues. The photo was zoomed on your smiling figure, it was so cute you wanted to laugh but you couldn´t. You didn´t want to embarrass her so you played like you didn´t see that.

„So...“ Tara hiccuped as she leaned her hand on the back of the couch behind your head. You raised your eyebrows at her as you were trying to hide the smile from how drunk and cute at the same time she was. „How old are you?“ she kept looking into your eyes as if she was trying to seduce you but was cut by a hiccup again.

Laughing at her now you answered her question. „How old do I look?“

„I don´t know, you look really young to be a doctor. You are a doctor? Or you are a student? How old are you?“ Tara squints her eyes at you. You let out a laugh as you threw your head back at her words, closing your eyes in the process.

Tara was drunk smiling at you, showing her dimples. She didn´t know why you were laughing but it was because of her so she didn´t mind. In her head it meant victory. You wiped your unexisting tears and shook your head. „You are so drunk.“

„No, I´m not! Look I can drink more!“ she went to grab a cup that was on the table in front of the couch but you were quick to take it from her hand.

„Absolutely not, you had too much already.“ Tara wanted to argue with you about it but her thoughts were cut by your touch.

„You have really pretty hands. They are much bigger than mine, look!“ she compared your hands and yes, hers were really small.

„And your fingers are so long... I wonder how it would feel inside of-“

Mindy covered her friend's mouth from beside her. She kept listening to your conversation the whole time, making sure Tara wouldn´t say or do something she would be embarrassed about the next day. Something like this.

„Okay, I think we should head home.“ Mindy wanted to pull Tara on her legs but she didn´t want to stand up and leave you. She kept pouting as she sat a little more closer to you almost sitting at your tights.

„Come on, I will go with you.“ You stood up and gently took her hands to help her on her legs. She smiled like a kid and immediately did what you wanted her to do.

 You and Mindy were taking Tara to her home. Sam was now calling Mindy asking about her sister. She had the right to be mad, she let her go to a party under the condition of her texting her if she was alright.

As you were close to the apartment door Mindy left you two so you could be alone. Tara won´t remember it but Mindy for sure will and she will make sure her friend will pay back for this.

„We are already here.“ Tara whined and turned around to look at you as you now stood in front of her door. „I don´t wanna leave you, I wanna be with you.“ The girl hugged your neck as she put her head on your chest to stare into your eyes.

You laughed at her. „Don´t worry, I´m sure we will see each other again.“

„Do you wanna come inside?“ she smirked and dragged her finger around your shoulder, tilting her head to the side softly. The young Carpenter had clearly enough for today.

„You know I can´t Tara.“ You breathe out with a kind smile on your lips.

„I love it when you call my name, it sounds so different, and also your smile and your eyes and-“

The door from her home suddenly opened and there stood Sam. The three of you kept looking at each other shocked written on your faces, waiting till someone made the first move.

„Uhm... hey I´m Y/N, I don´t know if you remember me.“ You smiled kindly at Tara´s sister. She kept studying you a little, then it hit her. Yeah, you were the one from the hospital. You helped Tara and that was all she needed to know.

„Yeah, I remember.“ She then looked at her sister, slowly shaking her head. Tara´s arms were still around you, not caring that her sister could see everything. „Come on Tara.“

The short girl let out a whine not wanting to let you go. She tightened her grip on you and was now looking at you to save her from her angry sister. „You need to let go of me.“ Your voice was so soft, it was only convincing her to stay but your words said otherwise and she needed to listen to you.

Slowly pulling away from and with a point on her lips, eyes big as if you were saying that you will never see her again. You didn´t even leave and she missed you already. The girl just wanted to stay with you.

„Will I see you again?“ Tara asked as she was almost at her apartment looking for your answer. You nodded your head at her, shooting her one of your smiles with a wink.

„Okay... Goodnight.“ She said with a low voice, putting her head down and leaving you in a hallway. Sam turned to you and gave you a tight-lipped smile.

„Thanks for bringing her here.“

„It´s fine, she´s amazing.“ You looked from the way she disappeared to Sam. „I guess I will head home also. Goodnight.“ You waved at her and started to walk away.

The next morning couldn´t be worse. Tara woke up with a terrible headache and the urge to throw up, Sam was giving her silent treatment, Mindy kept teasing her about yesterday and she had no way of contacting you. Like she would do that, the girl was so embarrassed that she just wanted to bury herself deep into the ground.

Afternoon Mindy and Chad came, and they kept making fun of Tara and her flirting skills. Suddenly her phone rang signaling a new message.

Y/N:) :Heyy, hope you feel better

What? How did you get her number? It was really you?

„Mindy? How did you get Y/N´s contact into my phone?“ Her friend looked at her with a confused face. „Did you give her my number?“ Mindy shook her head, still looking muddled.

„Maybe she did it herself.“ She shrugged her shoulders. „At least you have her number finally!“

Yeah, at least something but when did you make it? Oh yeah, she probably left her phone on the couch when she went to the bathroom. But if you got your phone number into her phone that must mean...

„Oh God... please no.“ She put her head into her hands, covering her red face from embarrassment.

You saw that fucking wallpaper.

Taglist: @jensortega813 @isawxxp 🤍

[dreametheworld]

how terrible it is / to love something death can touch

1) anne carson, eros the bittersweet // 2) billy-ray belcourt, a history of my brief body // 3) the haunting of bly manor (2020) // 4) lee martens // 5) albert camus, state of siege // 6) death cab for cutie, i will follow you into the dark // 7) mary zimmerman, metamorphoses // 8) the last of us (2023) // 9) hozier, work song // 10) keaton henson, you // 11) madeline miller, the song of achilles // 12) achilles and the body of patroclus, nikolai ge (1855) // 13) emily brontë, wuthering heights // 14) a star is born, i’ll never love again // 15) halsey, graveyard // 16) evanescence, my immortal // 17) the haunting of hill house (2018) // 18) imagine dragons, wrecked // 19) hadestown, wait for me (intro) // 20) carl andreas august goost, orpheus and eurydice (1826) // 21) the mountain goats, no children // 22) fred elwell, the wedding dress (1911) // 23) p!nk, who knew // 24) shannon barry // 25) jamie anderson // 26) wandavision (2021) // 27) taylor swift, seven // 28) franchesca cox // 29) halsey, ya’aburnee // 30) the lovers of valdaro, found in mantua in 2007

[folkloregirlfriend]

yes girl you are so [if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more] [hands are unbearably beautiful] [i'll take care of you it's rotten work not to me not if it's you] [if you are intolerable let me be the one to tolerate you] [i could recognise him by touch alone] [i love you i want us both to eat well] [on purpose i love you on purpose] [whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same] [i am half agony half hope] [you have bewitched me body and soul and i love love love you] [he is half of my soul as the poets say] [i'm sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for but i'm so lonely] [i love you most ardently] [let me stay tender hearted despite despite despite] [someone has to leave first this is a very old story there is no other version of this story] [mostly i want to be kind] [tell me how all this and love too will ruin us] [you said i killed you haunt me then] [someone somewhere can you understand me a little love me a little] [i will love you as misfortune loves orphans as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong] [sorry about the blood in your mouth i wish it was mine] [who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me] can we kiss now

[damienkarras73]

An essay on Furiosa, the politics of the Wasteland, Arthurian literature and realistic vs. formalistic CGI

Mad Max: Fury Road absolutely enraptured me when it came out nearly a decade ago, and I will cop to seeing it four times at the theatre. For me (and many others who saw the light of George Miller) it set new standards for action filmmaking, storytelling and worldbuilding, and I could pop in its Blu Ray at any time and never get tired of it. Perhaps not surprisingly, I was deeply apprehensive about the announced prequel for Fury Road's actual main character, Furiosa, even if Miller was still writing and directing. We didn't need backstory for Furiosa—hell, Fury Road is told in such a way that NOTHING in it requires explicit backstory. And since it focuses on the Yung Furiosa, it meant Charlize Theron couldn't return with another career-defining performance. Plus, look at all that CGI in the trailer, it can't be as good as Fury Road.

Turns out I was silly to doubt George Miller, M.D., A.O., writer and director of Babe: Pig in the City and Happy Feet One & Two.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga is excellent, and I needn't have worried about it not being as good as Fury Road because it is not remotely trying to be Fury Road. Fury Road is a lean, mean machine with no fat on it, nothing extraneous, operating with constant forward momentum and only occasionally letting up to let you breathe a little; Furiosa is a classical epic, sprawling in scope, scale and structure, and more than happy to let the audience simmer in a quiet, almost painfully still moment. If its opening spoken word sequence by that Gandalf of the Wastes himself, the First History Man, didn't already clue you in, it unfolds like something out of myth, a tale told over and over again and whose possible embellishments are called attention to in the dialogue itself. Where Fury Road scratched the action nerd itch in my head like you wouldn't believe, Furiosa was the equivalent of Miller giving the undulating folds of my English major brain a deep tissue massage. That's great! I, for one, love when sequels/prequels endeavour to be fundamentally different movies from what they're succeeding/preceding, operating in different modes, formats and even genres, and more filmmakers should aim for it when building on an existing series.

This movie has been on my mind so much in the past week that I've ended up dedicating several cognitive processes to keeping track of all of the different ponderings it's spawned. Thankfully, Furiosa is divided into chapters (fun fact: putting chapter cards in your movie is a quick way to my heart), so it only seems fitting that I break up all of these cascading thoughts accordingly.

1. The Pole of Inaccessibility

Furiosa herself actually isn't the protagonist for the first chapter of her own movie, instead occupying the role of a (very crafty and resourceful) damsel in distress for those initial 30-40 minutes. The real hero of the opening act, which plays out like a game of cat and mouse, is Furiosa's mother Mary Jabassa, who rides out into the wasteland first on horseback and then astride a motorcycle to track down the band of raiders that has stolen away her daughter. Mary's brought to life by Miller and Nico Lathouris' economical writing and a magnetic performance by newcomer Charlee Fraser, who radiates so much screen presence in such relatively little time and with one of those instant "who is SHE??" faces. She doesn't have many lines, but who needs them when Fraser can convey volumes about Mary with just a flash of her eyes or the effortless way she swaps out one of her motorcycle's wheels for another. To be quite candid, I'm not sure of the last time I fell in love with a character so quickly.

You notice a neat aesthetic contrast between mother and daughter in retrospect: Mary Jabassa darts into the desert barefoot, clad in a simple yet elegant dress, her wolf cut immaculate, only briefly disguising herself with the ugly armour of a raider she just sniped, and when she attacks it's almost with grace, like some Greek goddess set loose in the post-apocalyptic Aussie outback with just her wits and a bolt-action rifle; we track Furiosa's growth over the years by how much of her initially conventional beauty she has shed, quite literally in one case (hair buzzed, severed arm augmented with a chunky mechanical prosthesis, smeared in grease and dirt from head to toe, growling her lines at a lower octave), and by how she loses her mother's graceful approach to movement and violence, eventually carrying herself like a blunt instrument. Yet I have zero doubt the former raised the latter, both angels of different feathers but with the same steel and resolve. Of fucking course this woman is Furiosa's mother, and in the short time we know her we quickly understand exactly why Furiosa has the drive and morals she does without needing to resort to didactic exposition.

Anyway, I was tearing up by the end of the first chapter. Great start!

2. Lessons from the Wasteland

Most movies—most stories, really—don't actually tell the entire narrative from A to Z. Perhaps the real meat of the thing is found from H to T, and A-G or U-Z are unnecessary for conveying the key narrative and themes. So many prequels fail by insisting on telling the A-G part of the story, explaining how the hero earned a certain nickname or met their memorable sidekick—but if that stuff was actually interesting, they likely would have included it in the original work. The greatest thing a prequel can actually do is recontextualize, putting iconic characters or moments in a new light, allowing you to appreciate them from a different angle. All of season 2 of Fargo serves to explain why Molly Solverson's dad is appropriately wary when Lorne Malvo enters his diner for a SINGLE SCENE in the show's first season. David's arc from the Alien prequels Prometheus and Covenant—polarizing as those entries are—adds another layer to why Ash is so protective of the creature in the first movie. Andor gives you a sense of what it's like for a normal, non-Jedi person to live under the boot of the Empire and why so many of them would join up with the Rebel Alliance—or why they would desire to wear that boot, or even just crave the chance to lick it.

Furiosa is one of those rare great prequels because it makes us take a step back and consider the established world with a little more nuance, even if it's still all so absurd. In Fury Road, Immortan Joe is an awesome, endlessly quotable villain, completely irredeemable, and basically a cartoon. He works perfectly as the antagonist of that breakneck, Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote-ass movie, but if you step outside of its adrenaline-pumping narrative for even a moment you risk questioning why nobody in the Citadel or its surrounding settlements has risen up against him before. Hell, why would Furiosa even work for him to begin with? But then you see Dementus and company tear-assing around the wasteland, seizing settlements and running them into the ground, and you realize Joe and his consortium offer something that Dementus reasonably can't: stability—granted, an unwavering, unchangeable stability weighted in favour of Joe's own brutal caste system, but stability nonetheless. It really makes you wonder, how badly does a guy have to suck to make IMMORTAN JOE of all people look like a sane, competent and reasonable ruler by comparison?!?

…and then they open the door to the vault where he keeps his wives, and in a flash you're reminded just how awful Joe is and why Furiosa will risk her life to help some of these women flee from him years later. This new context enriches Joe and makes it more believable that he could maintain power for so long, but it doesn't make him any less of a monster, and it says a lot about Furiosa's hate for Dementus that she could grit her teeth and work for this sick old tyrant.

3. The Stowaway

Here's another wild bit of trivia about this movie: you don't actually see top-billed actress Anya Taylor-Joy pop up on screen until roughly halfway through, once Furiosa is in her late teens/early twenties. Up until this point she's been played by Alyla Browne, who through the use of some seamless and honestly really impressive CGI has been given Anya's distinctive bug eyes [complimentary]. It's one of those bold choices that really works because Miller commits to it so hard, though it does make me wish Browne's name was up on the poster next to Taylor-Joy's.

Speaking of CGI, I should talk about what seems to be a sticking point for quite a few people: if there's been one consistent criticism of Furiosa so far, it's that it doesn't look nearly as practical or grounded as Fury Road, with more obvious greenscreen and compositing, and what previously would've been physical stunt performers and pyrotechnics have been replaced with their digital equivalents for many shots. Simply put, it doesn't look as real! For a lot of people, that practicality was one of Fury Road's primary draws, so I won't try to quibble if they're let down by Furiosa's overt artificiality, but to be honest I'm actually quite fine with it. It helps that this visual discrepancy doesn't sneak up on you but is incredibly apparent right from the aerial zoom-down into Australia in the very first scene, so I didn't feel misled or duped.

Fury Road never asks you to suspend your disbelief because it all looks so believable; Furiosa jovially prods you to suspend that disbelief from the get-go and tune into it on a different wavelength. It's a classical epic, and like the classical epics of the 1950s and 60s it has a lot of actors standing in front of what clearly are matte paintings. It feels right! We're not watching fact, we're watching myth. I'm willing to concede there might be a little bit of post-hoc rationalization on my part because I simply love this movie so much, but I'm not holding the effects in Furiosa to the same standard as those in Fury Road because I simply don't believe Miller and his crew are attempting to replicate that approach. Without the extensive CGI, we don't get that impressive long, panning take where a stranded Furiosa scans the empty, dust-and-sun-scoured wasteland (75% Sergio Leone, 25% Andrei Tarkovsky), or the Octoboss and his parasailing goons. For the sake of intellectual exercise I did try imagining them filming the Octoboss/war rig sequence with the same immersive practical approach they used for Fury Road's stunts, however I just kept picturing dead stunt performers, so perhaps the tradeoff was worth it!

4. Homeward

Around the same time we meet the Taylor-Joy-pilled Furiosa in Chapter 3, we're introduced to Praetorian Jack, the chief driver for the convoys running between the Citadel and its allied settlements. Jack's played by Tom Burke, who pulled off a very good Orson Welles in Mank! and who I should really check out in The Souvenir one of these days. He's also a cool dude! Here are some facts about Praetorian Jack:

He's decked out in road leathers with a pauldron stitched to one shoulder

He's stoic and wary, but still more or less personable and can carry on a conversation

Professes to a certain cynicism, to quote Special Agent Albert Rosenfield, but ultimately has a capacity for kindness and will do the right thing

Shoots a gun real good

Can drive like nobody's business

So in other words, Jack is Mad Max. But also, no, he clearly isn't! He looks and dresses like Mad Max (particularly Mel Gibson's) and does a lot of the same things "Mad" Max Rockatansky does, but he's also very explicitly a distinct character. It's a choice that seems inexplicable and perhaps even lazy on its face, except this is a George Miller movie, so of course this parallel is extremely purposeful. Miller has gone on record saying he avoids any kind of strict chronology or continuity for his Mad Max movies, compared to the rigid canons for Star Trek and Star Wars, and bless him for doing so. It's more fun viewing each Mad Max entry as a new revision or elaboration on a story being told again and again generations after the fall, mutating in style, structure and focus with every iteration, becoming less grounded as its core narrative is passed from elder to youth, community to community, genre to genre, until it becomes myth. (At least, my English major brain thinks it's more fun.) In fact there's actually something Arthurian to it, where at first King Arthur was mentioned in several Welsh legends before Geoffrey of Monmouth crafted an actual narrative around him, then Chrétien de Troyes added elements like Lancelot and infused the stories with more romance, and then with Le Morte d'Arthur Thomas Malory whipped the whole cycle together into one volume, which T.H. White would chop and screw and deconstruct with The Once and Future King centuries later.

All this to say: maybe Praetorian Jack looks and sounds and acts like Max because he sorta kinda basically is, being just one of many men driving back and forth across the wasteland, lending a hand on occasion, who'll be conflated into a single, legendary "Mad Max" at some point down the line in a different History Man's retelling of Furiosa's odyssey. Sometimes that Max rips across the desert in his V8 Interceptor, other times driving a big rig. Perhaps there's a dog tagging along and/or a scraggly and at first aggravating ally played by Bruce Spence or Nicholas Hoult. Usually he has a shotgun. But so long as you aren't trying to kill him, he'll help you out.

5. Beyond Vengeance

The Mad Max movies have incredibly iconic villains—Immortan Joe! Toecutter! the Lord Humongous!—but they are exactly that, capital V Villains devoid of humanizing qualities who you can't wait to watch bad things happen to. Furiosa appears to continue this trend by giving us a villain who in fact has a mustache long enough that he could reasonably twirl it if he so wanted, but ironically Dementus ends up being the most layered antagonist in the entire series, even moreso than the late Tina Turner's comparatively benevolent Aunty Entity from Beyond Thunderdome. And because he's played by Chris Hemsworth, whose comedic delivery rivals his stupidly handsome looks, you lock in every time he's on screen.

Something so fascinating about Dementus is that, for a main antagonist, he's NOT all-powerful, and in fact quite the opposite: he's more conman than warlord, looking for the next hustle, the next gullible crowd he can preach to and dupe—though never for long. For all his bluster, at every turn he finds himself in way over his head and writing cheques he can't cash, and this self-induced Sisyphean torment makes him riveting to watch. You're tempted to pity Dementus but it's also quite difficult to spare sympathy for someone who's so quick to channel their rage and hurt and ego into thoughtless, burn-it-all-down destruction. When you're not laughing at him, you're hating his guts, and it's indisputably the best work of Chris Hemsworth's career.

It's in this final chapter that everything naturally comes to a head: Furiosa's final evolution into the character we meet at the start of Fury Road, the predictable toppling of Dementus' precariously built house of cards, and the mythmaking that has been teased since the very first scene becoming diagetic text, the last of which allows the movie to thoroughly explore the themes of vengeance it's been building to. A brief war begins, is summarized and is over in the span of roughly a minute, and on its face it's a baffling narrative choice that most other filmmakers would have botched. But our man Miller's smart enough to recognize that the result of this war is the most foregone of conclusions if you've been paying even the slightest bit of attention, so he effectively brushes past it to get to the emotional heart of the climax and an incredible "Oh shit!" payoff that cements Miller as one of mainstream cinema's greatest sickos.

Fury Road remains the greatest Mad Max film, but Furiosa might be the best thing George Miller has ever made. If not his magnum opus, it does at least feel like his dissertation, and it makes me wish Warner Bros. puts enough trust in him despite Furiosa's poor box office performance that he's able to make The Wasteland. Absolutely ridiculous that a man just short of his 80th birthday was able to pull this off, and with it I feel confident calling him one of my favourite directors.

[diioonysus]

animals in art: dove

[spaghettiposts]

Picture to Burn

Cairo Sweet x Reader

Summery: You should've known better than to fall for Cairo, your friend who seemed to have no interest in you, but it only takes one drink to mess things up and get you into her bed.

Warnings: Attempts at writing, angst, miscommunication, slight sexual content, underage drinking, Miller being an inconvenience, and heartbreak

Word count: 3.3k yikes

A/n: Hm, not sure how I feel about this one but its been sitting in my drafts long enough, might need a part 2...

“What do you look for in an ideal partner?” Cairo furrowed her eyebrows, her pencil caught between her lips. Your question threw her off track, and she grumbled softly as she erased a mistake. She glanced up at you, annoyed by your upside-down gaze and the way your lips quirked.  

“Someone who doesn’t have a camera hanging around their neck all the time.” She retorted, eyes drifting back down to her notes. 

You perked up, grasping the camera that was indeed resting on your neck. “Seriously?” You scoffed, settling back into the blanket. 

Cairo smirked behind her pages, taking full satisfaction in your crestfallen demeanor. “Oh, and people who aren’t into Marvel.” She added, chuckling at your deadpan reaction.

Assuming the conversation was over, she resumed writing, scribbling random thoughts only to look away and meet your raised brow, tied with an expectant look. God you had to be needy. With a heavy sigh, she shut her book. Typical, you rarely gave her time to properly invest in her writing. 

“Fine…I guess for them to make a good income? You know, enough to support me and my writing. Or at least put up with it.” Cairo explained with a shrug, nose scrunching at the way your eyes softened. Ignoring it, she pointed to you with her pen, hitting your nose, “And you are ten grand in debt, unfortunately missing the cut, so sorry.” She said with a faux pout. 

Once again, you scoffed, pushing her away and murmuring about how unserious she could be. Cairo fell back on the blanket with a laugh, feeling anything but apologetic, though your smile gave you away. 

As you reached into your bag for your notebook, Cairo assumed she might finally get some writing done. Quiet time was her favorite time with you - if you had to be there, which she preferred if you weren’t, totally. Either way, the sound of you fiddling with your camera grounded her; enough so she could focus on her work again. 

Initially, Cairo found certain quirks about you irritating, but as she spent more time with you, she began to see them in a new light. The small curses that left your lips when your camera wasn’t working properly, the spontaneous photos you snapped of Cairo - they became endearing rather than bothersome. And above all, your unwavering support and genuine admiration for her writing. Something Cairo needed more than she’d ever admit. 

With each word of encouragement and every heartfelt compliment, Cairo's heart swelled, in a dreadful way. It was more than admiration or appreciation; it was something more, a feeling she couldn't deny, no matter how hard she tried.

Though she continued to brush off your advances and maintain a facade of indifference, yet Cairo couldn't ignore you whenever your eyes met hers, the way your smile seemed reserved for her alone.

Yes, you were her friend, but that was all. Nothing was worth the risk of ruining things now. Especially if you didn’t truly mean what you spoke.

“Have you read anything new lately?” You asked, your back hunched over as you picked with the old thing. Honestly, Cairo couldn’t see why you still put up with it, the damn thing broke all the time. But still, it was a classic model from the 50s, an heirloom from your grandfather, which she could respect. 

Her hand reached over and shoved at your back, smiling in satisfaction when you straighten your back, shooting a glare in her direction. 

“I finished Lolita, it was on Miller's list for its themes of controversy. I wouldn’t read it again though.” She mumbled, “I did pick up this new book called Rebecca, it’s allegedly a psychological thriller but what’s so dark about being haunted by your partner's ex?”

You scoffed, doodling some part of the camera in your journal, “A lot.” 

“Doesn’t seem too bad, I mean they’re dead right? Can’t do anything.” 

“I wouldn’t risk crossing a paranormal creature like that.” You commented, with a shrug of your shoulders. Cairo hummed, watching you work. When you made no further comments she returned back to her notebook, spending the hour before class working separately. 

—

Despite Mr. Miller's evident excitement towards writings of controversy, apparently, that wasn’t the case with Cairo. It was a mistake, a stupid mistake but a mistake she assumed a man like him would love. How wrong was she? 

A student longing for their middle-aged professor was where the line was drawn. The hypocrisy of it all made Cairo want to laugh, who was he to dismiss her paper that way? She knows the other students, the other students who wrote worse. The book Miller had them read was even worse. 

But no, what was done was done. And now she was convinced Miller thought she was coming onto her, just what she needed. Cairo wouldn’t be surprised if he reported her and there was suddenly a new switch in teachers. As annoying as that’d be, she didn’t have time to dwell on it. 

Instead of a clear schedule, there was now an overdue assignment, dragging her grade down that she had to redo. All. Over. Again. 

Oh how she wanted to scream at that, a relaxing week gone. 

“Stupid fucking Miller…” Cairo muttered, walking with haste to her car. Once inside she slammed the door, pressing her head against the wheel. A knock on her window startled the girl, causing her to look up with a huff, her eyes widening once she realizes who it is.

“Are you alright?” You ask, waiting for her to roll down the window. She does just that, wiping her face with her arm. Was she crying? “You look…off.” Typically your way of saying she looked like shit. Mascara smeared and all she couldn’t blame you. 

Deciding not to answer your question, Cairo motions to the passenger seat, tossing her bag carelessly into the back seat.  “Get in.” 

“But I already have a ride-“

“And I’m offering…just come inside.” She grits between her teeth, letting out an impatient sigh. She doesn’t know why she needs you in the car with her but doesn’t give herself time to dwell on it, when you’re slipping into the seat next to her. 

Your posture is tense and that bothers her. She didn’t mean to come off…abrasive. Taking her eyes off yours, she starts the car, preparing herself for the upcoming conversation. You quickly buckle yourself in without another word. 

The car ride could’ve been more comfortable, which usually it was but your consistent nervous tapping was starting to bother the brunette. Wordlessly she threw her stapled papers in your lap, you opened your mouth to speak but Cairo beat you to it, mumbling a small ‘read it’.

You flipped through her work carefully and Cairo didn’t have the heart to look at your reaction, not this time. It was different with you judging her work, not that you judged, words of compliments spilled out of your lips every time you did read something of hers, tugging those same old heartstrings Cairo was starting to get sick of. Unlike those other moments, this time, it was different as you flipped silently through her work. Did she really screw it up this bad? 

She heard a hiss leave your lips and if she weren’t driving the car her head would’ve snapped in an instant. Turns out you were only focusing on the grade and notes Miller left, better yet lack of. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, slowly sliding the papers back to her, pursing your lips. Cairo huffed, removing one hand from the steering wheel to snatch them back, throwing them harshly towards the back. 

So, she was in a bad mood. You thought, hands clutching at your knees, swallowing dryly. 

“So?” Cairo asks, her voice on the verge of a shout. 

“Well, it was interesting. I mean I skimmed through it so I don’t know, your writing was good- like always.” You spoke rapidly, a nervous trait. 

“God Y/n, if you thought it was bad you could’ve just said so!” She blurted exasperatedly.

“I don’t! Cairo you know I adore everything you write, this just caught me off guard. Doesn’t mean I like it any less, I promise.” 

A silence loomed over the car, and you shrank into your seat even further if that was even possible. Cairo let out a sigh, losing her grip on the steering wheel. 

“Sorry, I'm just feeling…” Cairo's voice trailed off as she struggled to find the right words. She didn’t want to fight, not again. The guilt weighed heavy on her chest every time she saw that deflated look on your face. She couldn’t keep pushing you away, that wasn’t fair. But she also couldn’t shake that feeling of uncertainty she felt around you, about what she wanted, when you were what she wanted, “frustrated with this assignment.”

“And that’s okay,” You reassured her, your voice as gentle as ever, as you reached out to take her hand. Cairo’s gaze flickered down to your hands, feeling a mix of comfort and apprehension, before reluctantly allowing them to intertwine, giving you a small squeeze. “I’m here for you if you need me, anytime.” 

Suddenly, the car felt much tighter than before, the lump in her throat growing heavier. She wasn’t sure when her eyes started to water or why your touch felt like a burden, but she knew she couldn’t hold it any longer. It all felt too intimate too quickly. Silently, she withdrew her hand, placing it back in her lap oblivious to the hurt expression on your face. 

Yet, she couldn’t ignore the own ache in her chest. 

—

A bright white light blurred endlessly in Cairo's eyes, slow and unresponsive to everything else that wasn’t her assignment. She fought tirelessly at the screen in front of her, the now blank page mocking her to no end. In the midst of it all Cairo recalled how easy her first essay had been to create, only to be dismissed. 

With a huff and slam at her laptop, she tossed the thing aside, landing back on her bed with a grunt. She separates herself from her work, wiping at her burning eyes with her hands. To say Cairo was frustrated was an understatement. After driving around with you for a while she let you go, dropping you off. 

A decision Cairo started to regret. 

Once again, her parents were out of town doing who knows what. It was something Cairo was used to, but it still bothered her more than she’d admit. Some company would be nice, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take rewriting that assignment anyway. 

After mulling it over in her head, she lifted herself up, to open her phone. Her eyes remained locked on your contact, holding a photo of you and Cairo at the library. While Cairo had her nose stuck in a book, you looked at her like she was everything and more. The picture only made her stomach gnaw uneasily, but still, with much hesitance she dialed your number, listening to it ring.

“Hey, can you come over?” 

An astonishing ten minutes was all it took for you to appear at her door. Cairo smiled at you, tugging you in. She noticed you carrying a small plastic bag but didn’t comment on it, dragging you up to her room.

“I brought you something.” You said, softly closing the door behind you. Cairo sat herself on the bed, tilting her head curiously. “A lot of things actually.” 

How Cairo managed to miss the balloon you had brought in with you, reading in big bold letters: ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ was totally behind her. Cairo raised a questioning eyebrow and you explained for her writing losses, and Cairo didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or punch you. 

Fortunately, you reached into the bag before she could consider the latter, pulling out a familiar bottle of scotch that had Cairo’s lips contorted into one of mischief and pleasure. “And I figured you could use a drink, or two.” You muttered thoughtfully, tossing the bottle on her lap. Cairo traced the bottle with her fingers before twisting it open with a ‘pop’.

You moved around the room, searching for glasses you could use. Spotting two clean ones on the dresser you grabbed them, and settled down next to Cairo, leaving a respectable distance between you. Cairo already had her lips on the bottle by the time you poured the drinks and you raised an amused eyebrow, handing her the whiskey-filled shot. She downed it impressively and you attempted to do the same, failing quite miserably when the burn settled. 

Cairo laughed and you settled further into her bed, grumbling embarrassedly. And it had only taken two more shots for you to really feel the effects, and you could tell Cairo was starting to feel them too, a giddy smile plastered on her face that never seemed to leave. Your shoulders untensed noticeably from how serene the air felt, wishing that every moment with Cairo didn’t feel like walking a tightrope. 

Yet there was still something there – a lingering tension of sorts that no matter how hard you tried wouldn’t leave. You assumed Cairo felt the same when you met her eye and a soft smile tugged on her lips, one that you couldn’t help but return.

Time seemed to blur with the buzz of alcohol in your body, everything having been so peacefully quiet till Cairo shifted against the headboard, lips lingering on the bottle. Her gaze met yours and your stomach stirred. Not knowing why, foolishly, you looked away. Never had Cairo looked in your direction with so much fervor, and you’d be damned if she started now, under the influence when she didn’t mean it–couldn’t mean it.

But your heart would always betray you, now more than ever. So when she took another swing, you knew you were a goner by the way her eyes darkened and her teeth shone. Your own eyes remained locked to her lips and you swallowed dryly, feeling your heart race because she was staring back the same way. 

Cairo didn’t seem bothered, chuckling under her breath as she tucked the bottle away, then swiftly advancing on you the next second, giving into what you both so desperately wanted.

She stumbles into your lap messily, thighs encircling your waist and you groan when she squeezes, placing your hands on her thighs to anchor yourself. Cairo took the opportunity to trail kisses down your collarbone, her lips moving frantically, eager to kiss every inch of you. You let yourself get lost in the sensation, trying to block out that part of your mind that tells you, this is wrong.

Cairo stifles a moan when your nails dig into her hips, grounding her and you both shiver at the contact. Your hand slides along her side, encouraging her, and she does just that, moving slowly against your thigh. Then the room changes completely when her noises become louder, and the pit in your stomach grows hotter. And you have to take a moment to separate yourselves, breathing out of sync. 

“What are we doing, Cairo?” You whisper affectedly, rubbing your hands along her inner thighs and Cairo sighs. 

“Whatever you want me to do.” She whispers back in the same tone, bringing your foreheads together. “Guide me.” 

Despite her words, she’s the one to bring your mouths together first. It’s hesitant and slow, and you both sigh. Her hips press harder against you, and you break the kiss with a grunt. “More.” And that’s enough for you to kiss her again, in a much more heated kiss than before.

Your head is spinning in pleasure as Cairo’s hips grind against yours. With shaky hands you squeeze her skin, taking control of her movements and slowing them down. Cairo whines against your lips, begging and you realize you’re completely weak against her and give her what she needs, meeting her thrusts. 

She comes undone on your thighs next, hips spasming, and gasping against your lips as she comes down from her high. Her body goes limp and she falls on your shoulder for support. You press a kiss into her hair, rubbing her back with your hand to soothe her, not really caring if the act is more intimate for whatever this is. 

You switch your positions to lay her to rest on the bed, pressing soft lingering kisses on her face as you do, and she curls in beside you blissfully ignorant to what had happened, and you wonder if she’d still be like this with you if this never did occur. 

Still, you hold her tighter, blinking as the past minutes replayed in your head, trying to make sense of the situation. Your thoughts only come to a halt when Cairo’s lips are back on your neck, and you shake away the goosebumps because you know you can’t do this again without truly knowing. 

“Cairo—what, what did we do? What was this?” Your voice cracks through the silence, a lump forming in your throat. 

“Sex,” Cairo states matter-of-factly, continuing to kiss your neck, but it has your heart dropping to your stomach and suddenly you feel sick. Maybe it was just the alcohol or the heartbreak, or both. Either way, it had you pulling away.

“But did it mean anything?” You ask hesitantly, sitting up next to take her hands off you. Cairo huffs in frustration but doesn’t stray her eyes away from you, the action only making it all the more difficult to ask. “At all—did you feel something?” 

“Baby I felt many things,” She chuckles incredulously, raising an eyebrow.  “What's with all the questions?” 

Her wandering hands make it hard to focus on your words, each touch just a reminder of what you had done just a moment ago. You tentatively take her hands into your own, catching her by surprise. “I just mean- well you’ve never…shown or said you’ve wanted to be with me this way.” 

“Just because I had sex with you doesn’t mean I want to be with you. It’s just sex, Y/n.”

You choke in disbelief, feeling a wave of soberness wash over and you let go of her hands, similarly to how Cairo did earlier.

Not really knowing what to do or say, you shuffle away from her, noticing her torn expression. It hurts you to look at her, so you don’t, choosing to face anything—the ceiling, her vanity. But everything ties back to her, and you hated yourself for allowing this to happen. 

A wave of silence passes you before you have the strength to repeat something, “Right”. You manage to utter, your voice trembling.  

When you make a move to leave, Cairo touches your wrist to stop you and you freeze. “It’s late, and you’re drunk. Stay the night.”

You take a shallow breath, shaking your head in denial. “I don’t think I should.”

“I wasn’t asking.” 

“Of course not.” You mutter, sitting back against the headboard. Cairo doesn’t question the attitude, only sparing a concerned glance before moving off the bed. Her movements are sloppy as she makes her way to the bathroom, holding a new pair of clothes. 

You don’t register when she returns, but it’s long afterward. Neither of you says a word, choosing to settle in silence. There’s a palpable tension when she places a pillow between you, a silent barrier.

You want to scream, to say something, to remind her who initiated it. Tell her that if anything, you should be uncomfortable with her. But that would be a lie. Your head continues to pound throughout the night, and you decide it’s better to sleep it off, unaware of how deeply affected both of you are.

The next day, Cairo wakes up to an empty bed.

[poisonlove]

study Session | c.s

words: 13k

Part 1

"When are you going to have Professor Miller read your work?" Cairo asks curiously.

We were in Cairo's room, a cozy space with emerald green walls, a queen-sized bed in the center, and a sturdy wooden desk a few steps to the left. Despite having a window, the room was dimly lit, almost immersed in darkness.

but the acoustics were impressive.

"Don't even think about it," I say, eyes widening at her suggestion, feeling panic rising within me.

"And why not?" Cairo asks with a small smile on her lips, her eyes focused on the notebook she was writing in with a concentrated expression.

With her free hand, she brings the cigarette to her mouth, inhaling slowly.

She was damn sexy when she smoked, well, she was always sexy, but her charm was amplified by her natural beauty. Her sparkling eyes, long dark hair cascading gracefully over her shoulders, charming smile... Her intelligence and demeanor were captivating and intriguing at the same time. My crush on Cairo had grown recklessly in these days, but at least now I wasn't a bundle of nerves all the time; we could chat without my cheeks turning as red as fire every time she smiled at me.

I glance at my notebook, tapping the pen on the paper searching for some kind of inspiration. The study sessions had been going on for two weeks now, and my assignments were less dreadful than usual. Professor Miller had assigned us a task where we had to choose a book we had been studying over the past few months and try to immerse ourselves in their story.

As usual, a stupid assignment.

I snort loudly, and Cairo looks at me sideways, a smile playing on her lips. "Are you struggling?" she asks amusedly, her hand stopping on her notebook's paper.

"I don't know how to do it... Why the hell did I choose Zeno's Conscience?" I say exasperatedly, hands sinking into my cheeks as my mind works on possible solutions.

"Mmmh... I see," Cairo raises the corners of her lips and tosses the cigarette butt into the ashtray next to the bed.

"Aren't you struggling? You've been writing continuously for 10 minutes," I ask impatiently, a little jealous of her incredible qualities.

"I actually finished the report yesterday," she confesses quickly, shrugging.

My eyes widen, and my jaw nearly drops to the floor. "What? Then what the hell are you writing?" I say in shock, surprised that Cairo had already finished the task that I had barely started.

"A personal report," she says absentmindedly, looking at her notebook.

Curiosity takes hold of me.

Without hesitation, my instinct urges me to quickly reach for Cairo's notebook. Her expression transforms into a mix of surprise and nervousness as my hand grabs the notebook firmly. "Give it to me," Cairo says nervously.

I can sense her worry in the way her body leans towards me, eager to get the notebook back from the black cover.

I lay back against the mattress, keeping a certain distance between me and Cairo, whose chest draws closer to mine as she desperately tries to retrieve her notebook. With one hand, I hold the notebook open, while with the other, I keep Cairo at bay.

"Dream," I pronounce aloud, smiling at the surprised expression on Cairo's face.

Cairo hurriedly sits on my lap, her face tense with anxiety as she reaches for the notebook. I can feel the warmth of her body close to mine, but her worried expression warns me of the tension in her soul. Without hesitation, Cairo drops the notebook to the ground with a brisk motion, while her hand suddenly lands next to my face in an attempt to maintain balance. Her black hair brushes against my cheeks, the sudden contact and the rustle of the pages falling to the ground adding to the agitation of the moment.

A flash of anger appears in Cairo's eyes as she abruptly rises from my body to pick up her notebook from the floor. I can see the tension in her movements as she clutches the notebook tightly to her chest.

"Are you out of your mind?" she exclaims angrily, her voice filled with frustration and disappointment.

My heart races in my chest as I try to understand what happened.

My mind is confused, and the air around us seems tense. I sit on the bed, trying to calm the agitation growing within me, while Cairo holds the notebook tight against her chest, her expression hard and angry.

"I didn't mean to..." I start to say, but the words fade into nothingness as I try to find an explanation for what happened. My mind is in turmoil, and the feeling of guilt weighs heavily on me as I try to confront Cairo's anger.

Her sharp voice brings me back to reality.

"Is violating my privacy a joke to you?" she asks sarcastically, her tone as cold as ice. I blush with embarrassment, and my words get stuck in my throat as I try to find a justification for my actions.

"What did you read?" Cairo asks, her voice now colder than ever.

Her posture is rigid, her shoulders tense, and her jaw clenched, and I suddenly feel small and defenseless in the face of her anger.

"Nothing, I swear," I stammer nervously, trying to placate her fury with my trembling words. "It was just a joke... I didn't mean to..." I continue to say, but my apologies seem to fall on deaf ears in the face of her rage.

The tension in the air is palpable as I desperately try to find a way out of this difficult situation.

"What's going on here?" someone suddenly asks.

We both turn towards the entrance of the room and see Winnie, Cairo's roommate, looking at us with confusion. Winnie has a raised eyebrow as her gaze shifts between Cairo and me, filled with suspicion.

"Nothing special," Cairo replies coldly, heading towards the window. "Y/n was just leaving," she adds confidently.

Winnie seems perplexed, but decides not to delve further. "Alright then. Sorry if I interrupted something," she says with a hint of embarrassment, sensing the discomfort in the air.

"You didn't interrupt anything," Cairo replies angrily.

"Um... Bye Cairo," I say timidly but she continues to silently stare out the window, lost in her thoughts.I sigh and leave the room, feeling terribly guilty.

(...)

"Professor Miller, can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask timidly, biting my lower lip nervously.

The professor nods and smiles weakly, looking at me with curiosity as I approach his desk.

I can feel Cairo's gaze behind me, but I'm too scared to meet her eyes. I know she's still angry with me. However, I hope that what I'm about to do might make her forgive me, at least a little.

"I would like to talk to you about something," I say timidly.

"Is it about Friday's assignment?" he asks curiously, his brown eyes trying to read mine.

I shake my head.

"I would like you to read something," I say, my body tensing with tension."Oh, what a surprise," he smiles widely, showing his white teeth.

I still feel Cairo's gaze.

"I wrote it a while ago," I say, grabbing the folded sheet I had put in my pocket. "I've always been afraid to let anyone read it... but I would like to ask you to read it when you're alone," I add timidly.

The professor seems somewhat surprised, but nods understandingly. "Alright, I can understand. It will be between us, I promise," he assures, accepting the sheet.

With a sigh of relief, I leave the room, ignoring Cairo's gaze, but this time with a new determination to pursue what matters to me.

Five long days have passed since I last spoke to Cairo.

Her absence has become a constant weight on my shoulders, and anxiety torments me as I wonder if I will ever have the opportunity to clear things up with her.

Meanwhile, I receive comforting news from Professor Miller. He informs me that my work has truly impressed him and that the assignment on Zeno's conscience was outstanding. His support and compliments give me a sense of relief and gratitude, partially alleviating the burden of tensions with Cairo.

With a sigh of relief, I reassure myself knowing that I have passed his class, but deep down I know that there are more pressing issues I need to address.

I find myself talking to some friends, joking and laughing to distract myself from the stressful situation.

"Hey, everything okay? You seemed a little nervous earlier," Emma asks curiously.

"Oh, yeah, everything's okay. Just a little hiccup, nothing to worry about," I smile nervously.

"Did you hear what happened in class today? It was really funny!" Joy chimes in, smiling at me.

"No, what happened?" I ask, happy for her enthusiasm.

We continue talking, trying to keep the atmosphere light even though my mind is still worried about the situation with Cairo. Then, I see Winnie approaching us with a serious expression and she calls me aside.

I glimpse a shiver of concern in her eyes and wonder what she might mean.

"Cairo wants to talk to you... Can you go to her room?" Winnie asks me, her voice tinged with concern.

My mind goes into overdrive as I try to understand what Cairo might want from me. With a knot in my stomach, I reluctantly nod. "Yes, sure. I'll go to her right away."

I head towards Cairo's room, trying to mentally prepare myself for the impending conversation.

Anxiety grips me as I approach the door, but I decide to face the situation with courage.

I lightly knock on the door and wait with my heart pounding in my chest.

"Go ahead," Cairo says with a calm tone of voice.

I open the door and see Cairo standing near her bed, holding the notebook in her hands. "Did you want to see me?" I say with curiosity and nervousness.

Cairo bites her lower lip nervously and sighs loudly. "I... I wanted to apologize for my reaction last time," she says timidly, embarrassed.

"I overreacted," she adds almost in a whisper.

I feel a wave of relief and gratitude as I look at her. "I also wanted to apologize," I reply sincerely, feeling the weight of tension dissolve between us.

"I shouldn't have taken the notebook without permission," I say with embarrassment.

Cairo smiles weakly, making butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"By the way..." She begins, hesitating, "I wanted to read you something..." She says nervously.

"You're not obligated," I say gently, trying to alleviate her anxiety.

"No, I have to do it," Cairo says firmly, sighing loudly. "Just... Don't comment until I'm finished," she says anxiously, looking at me with pleading eyes.

I nod and wait for Cairo to gather courage.

"In the silence of the night, among the yellowed pages of my favorite books, I found refuge. I have always been a dream seeker, a solitary traveler in the realms of imagination, but even in the deepest solitude, I found an inexhaustible companion: knowledge."

Cairo's voice resonates in the darkness of the room, warm and enveloping. It's like a gentle breeze, delicate yet determined, carrying with it a note of serenity and understanding. Her tone is calm and tranquil, but manages to convey deep emotion and subtle vulnerability.

"For years, I wandered among the words written by illuminated minds, hungry for wisdom and eager to understand the world around me. But in my journey, I encountered not only the light of knowledge but also the shadow of my own uncertainty."

Cairo sighs loudly.

"My intelligence, a gift and a curse at the same time, has created a labyrinth of doubts and fears within me. I often felt lonely, lost in my thoughts, and unable to find a kindred soul who could understand the complexity of my mind."

I can perceive a slight tension in her voice, a controlled intensity that betrays her inner emotion

"I envisioned my perfect companion, a man who could peer into me and see beyond my insecurities. But time brought disappointments, and the void in my heart grew, becoming a painful echo in the corridors of my soul. Yet, in the darkness of my despair, I found a sudden light. It wasn't the man I had dreamed of, but a girl with bright eyes and a gentle smile. In her, I found an understanding I had never known before, a bond that transcended gender and convention."

Cairo's grip on the notebook becomes ironclad.

"In her words, I found comfort; in her embrace, I found security. And so, my dream of a perfect companion transformed, no longer an ideal man but a hope embodied in a brave and compassionate girl. Now I know that my journey is no longer solitary, that I can face life's storms with the courage of one who knows she is not alone.

Thank you...

because thanks to this assignment Professor Miller gave us, I finally had the chance to get to know you better. I must admit that, even though I would never have said it before, I've liked you for months. Since I first noticed you in class, with your infectious smile and your eyes shining with curiosity."

Cairo smiles widely, her eyes becoming teary as she reads.

"But I was so scared, so convinced that I was too broken, too strange to deserve your attention. I was afraid of boring you with my insecurities, of taking away your smile with my fears. And so, I limited myself to watching you from afar, trying to hide what I felt and hoping you would never notice my presence."

Cairo's jaw trembles, her voice wavering.

"But now, thanks to this assignment, I had the chance to get to know you better, to discover your world and to understand that maybe, just maybe, I'm not as broken as I thought. And even though I don't know what the future holds for us, I'm grateful for this opportunity you've given me, for allowing me to get to know you better and to discover that maybe, just maybe, there's still hope for me.

Thank you."

Cairo looks up at me with determination, her eyes shimmering and red from crying. I just wanted to go to her and hold her against my chest until she calmed down.

"If you're listening to these words, it means I've finally found the courage to say what I feel. I don't expect you to reciprocate my feelings, but I wanted you to know how important you've been to me on this journey."

Cairo's voice continues to break, sobs threatening to break through.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to live this experience, to add a new chapter to my life that I never thought I'd write. You've been a turning point, an inspiration, and for that, I'll always be grateful. This moment will remain a precious memory in my mind. Thank you for being part of this experience, for making me feel alive and brave."

Cairo smiles widely, her lower lip trembling, her shoulders shaking more.

"Even if our journey together ends here, I know the lessons I've learned from you will stay with me forever. Thank you for teaching me to find the courage to be honest with myself and with others."

After Cairo finishes reading, she looks at me with teary eyes, but a delicate smile forms on her lips. I feel a weight on my chest, a mixture of gratitude and emotion that makes me want to cry.

Without hesitation, I quickly approach Cairo and wrap my arms around her shoulders, embracing her tightly. Cairo is carried away by the emotions, and we both burst into tears, our tears mingling in an intense and liberating hug.

After a while, Cairo calms down, but she still keeps her arms around me. Cairo looks up and gazes at me gently.

"Just to make sure... Does it speak about me?" I ask timidly, biting my lower lip. "If it's not you, who should it be?" she asks, chuckling and rolling her eyes at my comment.

"Professor Miller?" I say mischievously, and she nudges me lightly.

Cairo continues to hold her chin up, silently asking me something. With my heart pounding in anticipation, I lean in slightly and press my lips against hers, initiating the long-awaited kiss. My hand delicately rests against her cheek, caressing it gently as we let ourselves be carried away by the intensity of the moment. Cairo pulls me closer, making me smile during the kiss.

As the oxygen dwindles, we reluctantly break the kiss, our foreheads resting against each other. Our smiles widen as we gaze into each other's eyes with affection and gratitude.

"You've taught me so much too, my Muse," I whisper softly, feeling the warmth of her breath against my face.

Cairo smiles again and pulls me towards her for a long and much-desired kiss.

@classypauli

@thebloomonster

[lostinmac]

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)

Dir. George Miller

[aquitainequeen]

Listening to George Miller talking to Hideo Kojima about the importance of threads running through a narrative (like a tapestry) is fascinating. His example of Dementus' hounds being visibly shown as having a taste for human blood, thus demonstrating without words how Dementus is able to track Furiosa and wounded Mary Jabassa (even after the wind erased the tire tracks of their bike) was so good!

And then it hit me smack in the heart, because that thread emerges again...

...when Dementus unleashes his hounds on Jack. Because they're wholly focused on Jack, because the sand being churned up by his execution hides Furiosa, the dogs never break off from their feast. Jack's blood distracts and consumes the dogs, allowing Furiosa to escape on a bike. Mary's blood dooms her to capture, torture and death, while Jack's blood and the sand thrown into the air throughout his death saves Furiosa.

And! The first time Jack realises that something is very wrong in the Bullet Farm, it's a wordless moment where he sees one of the dogs with a human foot in its mouth. Later he is torn to pieces by that dog, among several others.

And!!! Dementus saves Furiosa from being dragged into one of the holes of the Citadel, rescuing her from the Maggot Farmer, breaking her chain and taking her onto his bike-drawn chariot. During the Battle of the Bullet Farm, Furiosa throws Jack a grappling hook attached to her bike and saves him by dragging him up a cliff. And then (once more with gusto) Jack is tortured to death by being dragged after a bike on the end of a chain, while Furiosa is dragged up into the air by another chain wrapped around her arm.

THREADS. TAPESTRIES.

[docwormie]

Scenes of The fall of the House of Usher that I'm a little bit obsessed with :

Obviously. The one where Madeline and Verna kiss (nobody is surprised) because it's less than 1 minute long, it's never mentionned afterwards and yet it makes every scene they have together much more interesting (+ 2 girlkissers confirmed, that's a win !).

When Roderick watches corpses rain from the sky ??? That was so powerful wtf it carried a sense of sheer dread and anguish that I can't stop thinking about.

Tamerlane's death. Idk why it stuck with me so much, aside from the fact that it was Samantha Sloyan, it was beautifully filmed, and the fucking spasm at the end !!!! It was so fucking pathetic and sad, Tammy my sweet little girlfailure !

Victorine's whole going crazy thing. I love the Tell-Tale Heart but making it about lesbians ??? Oh mike the man that you are !!

The acid rain. Obviously. And when Verna kisses the melted body and there's a bit of flesh that sticks to her.... this was disgusting I want more !

When Roderick is alone with the Raven after finding out Lenore died. Very powerful + great climax and use of the poem !

The conversation between Juno and Tammy, it was one of the rare actually sweet scenes of the show, i'm glad Juno made it out alive !! And ruth codd's comedic talent is absolutely priceless !!

When Roderick tells Auggie to turn around because his dead mother is standing behind him. I laughed so hard. I feel like this was a meta-reference to Flanagan's habit of having ghosts just standing there in the background and never interacting with the characters and I absolutely LOST IT when she turned around like "nevermind".

Feel free to add your fav scenes because I probably forgot some of them !!

[classypauli]

She’s the Man

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem Reader A/N: I appreciate each one of you, thank you so much for support <3!! Warning: mentions of harassment, anxiety, SA, alcohol, spelling errors, grammar mistakes Word count: 3.7k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

The dorm room was silent. No was was speaking. They were just sitting on the small couch, being in each embrace. Letting themselves know that they were there for each other. Especially for her. Jenna was sitting in the middle of the couch, knees pressed into her chest, arms around her legs. Staring into nothing. Gideon was beside her waiting for her to speak. Both Emma and Gideon knew that in times like this, they needed to be silent and let Jenna talk. She hardly talked about something she struggles with so they wanted to hear everything that comes out of her mouth.

„I like him.“ Jenna said looking into the space in front of her. Gideon sighed and pushed herself closer to her roommate, pulling her into her arms.

„I know... I can see the way you are around him.“

Jenna put her lips into a thin line and looked at her friend, tears in her eyes. „I don´t know what to do.“ Her soft voice was barely heard in the room. Emma was sitting in front of her on the ground, staring up at her friend.

„Maybe you should tell him the truth.“

Jenna couldn´t believe what situation she was in right now. She wasn´t the type of person who easily like like someone. She wasn´t paying special attention to people who only looked good. She hardly had any crushes, even when she was younger.

But you... you were so good, mature, respectful, amazing listener, always making Jenna special when she was with you, giving her your full attention, and caring about what she had to say. Saying your true opinions, always motivating her with your gentle words. And on top of that, there was your look. Jenna doesn´t care about someone´s appearance, never, but you even looked amazing. She almost couldn´t believe that someone like you exist.

So when she started noticing her liking towards you, she was sure that this would be serious. That this wouldn´t just be some silly crush.

Gideon nods gently. „Yes, that would be for best.“

„And he will understand, I mean, I don´t know him personally but I can feel that he will be okay with it.“ Even her friends could feel something different in you. There was something about you that was strange, but not bad strange. Just something they haven´t seen in their lives yet.

„B-But how can I do that when he recently tried to hook me up with his roommate?“ she turned her head to them, eyes almost desperate. She didn´t even want to say his name out loud, that´s how much aversion she had against him.

„You mean the one who keeps harassing you for almost two years? Of course, I can already see the scenario.“ Gideon continued, trying to give some courage to Jenna „He wanted to be closer to you so he asked Charlie for help cause he saw that you two get along.“ Emma noded at her words, also agreeing with her.

Yeah, even to Jenna, this sounded pretty accurate, you barely turned someone down. You were too sweet for that. Still, this doesn´t have to be true.

But for now, she is going to act like it is.

„So what should I do?“ she now looked at Emma. Her friend only smiled with a confident smile. She and Gideon shared eye contact and looked back at their desperate friend.

„We´ll tell you, what you are going to do.“

„This is so good!“ Georgie cried as he held chicken wing in the air. His mouth and fingers were dirty from BBQ sauce. Some of it was even on the collar of a his uniform but he didn´t mind, all he cared about was that he could eat.

Y/N looked up from her meal, cracking a small smile. It was cute how he could enjoy so much such a simple thing. He was pure and so obvious.

Mason aggressively nodded his head at him, eyes wide. At least he could eat properly and wasn´t as dirty as Georgie in front of him. „You are right! It´s been a long time since they had something so good in here!“ he yelled with his mouth full of food.

They were having lunch right now. Finally, because if the classes were any longer, Y/N didn´t know if she would survive. The whole day she was with her friends, they were whining about how much they are hungry. Y/N was a patient person, but this... this was another level.

A couple of workers and students were glaring their way, at their loud behavior. Y/N and Hunter shot them back apologizing smiles.

„Can´t you two just enjoy it a little louder? Everybody is looking at us!“ Hunter hissed at them. Mason and Georgie looked around and then started eating again, clearly nonchalant.

Y/N looked around one more time and was met with doe brown-eyes looking at her. Jenna was staring at her with a small smile decorating her face. The taller girl looked at her and gave a small smile back with her hand waving at her.

Mason looked at her, then the way she was facing and his friend again, smiling softly in a teasing way before continuing his eating.

Jenna was sitting with a couple of her friends, a finished meal in front of her. She was probably waiting for them to finish. Breaking eye contact and pulling out her phone. Suddenly Y/N´s phone made a sound signalizing new message.

Jenna xx: Hey, are you free today?

Y/N looked up from her phone again at the other girl. She was waiting for her answer with hopeful eyes, biting her lower lip.

You: Hi, yeah, something in mind?

Jenna xx: Been thinking about another movie, free dorm tn, you down? ;)

Y/N smiled softly at her phone, agreeing with the plans. She was excited. She and Jenna haven´t talked much since the party but there wasn´t any bad blood between them. They just didn´t have much time.

After the classes, Y/N felt exhausted. Today was too long for her and she just wanted to lay down and relax, but she wasn´t tired enough to cancel her plans with Jenna.

When she got into the dorm room Percy was there, he was sitting behind his desk doing some schoolwork. Both of them haven´t talked yet about what happened. The morning after the party, Percy couldn´t remember much, only a couple of things. But he definitely felt the energy you gave him. He didn´t know what happened but he was also a little scared to ask. He isn´t used to you acting like this.

Y/N also didn´t know what to do with this situation, either acting like nothing happened or confronting him about it. She surely didn´t want to act like nothing happened, she thought it would be unfair to Jenna. People should talk about things like this, even if “nothing happened“.

But still thinking about what would happen if she didn´t get there. That night she came with Mason and some other boys, she saw Gideon and went to say hi, the girl told her that her roommate was there and that she had just gone to get a drink in the kitchen. So Y/N went after her.

But the scene she found her in... She was angry at Percy, but she felt even more disappointed. It wouldn´t even cross her mind that he could behave like this. It was disgusting. Acting like someone on top. He took advantage of time when nobody was there and she couldn´t say no to him. Y/N felt sick to her stomach.

„Hi.“ He looked up from his work „Going somewhere?“ he asked her as she was packing some things in her bag.

„Yeah.“

There goes the short answer again. He feels like it’s the only thing he gets from his roommate these days.

„Cool.“ He wanted to ask with who but that´s not his business.

Jenna was running around her dorm, making sure everything was ready. Blankets, pillows, snacks, movie, hoping she didn´t forget something. The room was dark with only the light of the turn-on TV and candles by the windows. She wanted to make it cozy as much as possible.

„Just a second!“ Jenna yelled at the door. She heard the knock, signaling that you were already there, right on time. She ran to look at herself one last time in the mirror, fixing her bangs and one last check at the room.

She opened the door and was greeted by your cute face. You were standing there wearing grey baggy sweatpants with a matching hoodie and bag around one of your shoulders looking cuddly as ever. You made a thin line with your lips still looking at her.

„Hi.“ You said shortly, waiting for her to let you in. She opened the door wider for you to come and greeted you with her hug. There was your scent again. It was so addicting.

Soon you started watching the movie she picked. It was Friday the 13th and you both enjoyed it. You saw that already but it was classic, so you didn´t mind watching it again. The scenes are good, it is a solid film. During the movie, Jenna was thinking about what Emma and Gideon said and about their plan.

Yeah, that plan already started and you don´t even know it. 

After that, you were chatting. Y/N wanted to ask about Percy and what was going on between them, but she didn´t want to remind Jenna of that uncomfortable night. On the other hand, the girl felt like she should talk about it, she knew that Jenna didn´t like a feeling of vulnerability, but there was nothing wrong with it. At the end of the day, there are still people who are by her side ready to help her and listen to her. People like Y/N.

„I wanted to ask you...“ she looked into her eyes with a little seriousness, the shorter girl turned to her waiting for her question „Are you okay?“

And the girl didn´t even have to be specific about what was she talking about, Jenna knew.

„Yeah, I think I´m.“ she pulled out a small smile with her soft eyes. She was okay when she was with you, she felt safe. Every time she felt nervous walking around him or thinking about what happened, her mind went to you and how you acted. How you stood in front of her ready to defend her from anything bad. And then she feels safe.

She feels safe when you stand by her side, she feels safe when she is walking beside you, she feels safe when you hug her.

Doesn´t matter what you two are doing, when she is with you, she feels protected.

„It started almost two years ago... I saw him a couple of times before but we didn´t share many classes or never really spoke to one another.“ She was now looking into her lap, playing with her fingers. It was her habit when she was nervous or was thinking about her words and what she wanted to say.

„I knew he was into me, he used to stare at me sometimes whole class. It started to be a bit strange, but I let it be. Was trying to ignore it.“ Y/N was still looking at the girl beside her, giving her full attention.

„I got a couple of times drawings of my face... at first I found them at the spot where I used to sit during our together classes, then found some in my locker or mailbox at my home where I was during holidays. That was the weirdest. Like how did he find where I live?“ she sarcastically laughed, leaning her head on her hand, which was now on her knee.

„I didn´t want to make something big out of it, so I let it be. When I came to school again, he kept going, sometimes even following me into the dorms. I told Gideon and Emma about it and from then, they tried to be with me when they could.“

Y/N couldn´t imagine the stress this girl must have felt. It was absurd. And disrespectful. She slowly grabbed the other girl's small hand, shooting her comforting smile.

„One night, there was a party... there were almost all the students from the school. I was in a room full of people, slowly drinking from my cup... I wasn´t drunk just a bit tipsy.“ The shorter girl now held Y/N´s hand in both hands. „he saw me came to me and started to touch me... he tried to pull me up with him into the room upstairs but I wasn’t letting him... he didn´t like that of course and pushed me against the wall still with his hands on my body.“

Jenna had now tears in her eyes but didn´t let them fall. She breathed heavily still looking at their hands. „Can you believe that even the room full of people didn´t manage to stop him?“ she sniffed softly „Then he got pulled by someone, he smashed him into the face and threw him out of the house... it was your friend actually, the football player.“

Mason. He never disappoints.

You were now sitting there, feeling disgusted. You felt horrible that you even tried to help him with her. You have so much rage inside but right now Jenna was your priority. You pulled the girl into your arms, holding her. You were in awe that she´s been holding that inside of her for so long. She was so brave.

Both of you were sitting there, holding each other, her almost on top of you with her face in the crook of your neck. When she calmed down she pushed her face out and looked at her. Your faces were now close.

Y/N kept looking at Jenna´s face, her cute bangs, doe eyes, and small nose on which were her cute freckles. They looked like constellations and the taller girl knew that she would never be bored of them. On top of that her full lips.

Jenna saw Y/N looking at her lips, which made her smile. The tension grew and she was now waiting for her move. The brown-eyed girl looked at your lips and saw you smiling.

„What are you smiling about?“ Jenna asked still in your embrace.

„You smiled first! You gave it to me.“ Y/N said and now she grew nervous. Jenna´s hands were around her neck and the girl´s chest felt full, feeling like there was no air for her. Y/N liked this, feeling Jenna in her arms, close to her, smelling her perfume.

„Sorry, I need to use a bathroom.“ And just like that you gently pushed Jenna away from you standing up and making your way to the toilet room.

Jenna was sitting there with wide eyes, shocked. She was almost sure you were going to kiss her. But you stood up and went to the bathroom. Were you nervous or just didn´t feel the same way she does? She wanted to know the answer to these questions but only you could answer them.

You were hard to read. Maybe that was what caught her attention the most. She didn´t know what to expect from you. Like now. The girls told her that you liked her back because of the way you was acting around her and that you were probably just nervous, that´s why you didn´t make a move yet.

They were in some way right, you were nervous. You liked her, you know that, but it felt unfair to Jenna. She knows you, but she doesn’ t know you. She doesn’t know you as Y/N. As your trueself. And that´s why instead of kissing her you rushed away.

Y/N washed her face with water. She looked at herself in a mirror and saw her blushing face. Oh God, this was embarrassing. She felt hot and her heart was beating fast. She picked herself up and made her way to the room again. Jenna was now sitting cross-legged, controller in her hands looking for some new movie to watch. Y/N undressed her hoodie and threw herself onto the couch beside the other girl.

„So what are we watching next?“

Jenna woke up the next day on her couch, her eyes still closed as she was thinking about yesterday. She opened her eyes. Sun was shining through the windows of the room, birds could be heard even though the windows were closed. She looked up and found Gideon standing above her smirking, she motioned “I´m leaving“ with her mouth and then she put her fingers on her lips and did a zip-up motion silently walking away, still with her little smirk.

Jenna could hear soft breathing behind her, then she realized that you were spooning her. She gently turned around wanting to see your face. You looked so relaxed, with your arms around her waist. She was wearing your hoodie from yesterday. Last night you fell asleep first, looked exhausted from the day. After turning the TV off she picked up your hoodie and put it on herself, slowly laying down beside you, as close as she could.

When you woke up Jenna was in the bathroom. You slowly sat up and rubbed your eyes. You slept well actually, even if it was on the couch.

With that you stood up and started cleaning the room, making it look a little presentable. Not long after Jenna walked up to you, greeting you with a hug and questioning how was your sleep. You noticed she was wearing your hoodie and it looked so cute on her. She was so small, it was almost reaching her knees and the sleeves were too big for her, but she looked happy. Soon you left her dorm, leaving Jenna behind with your hoodie still on her.

„We could plan something.“

Mason says as they were running around the field. They are having practice. The coach was talking something about getting easely tired, so he made them run circles around the field. Y/N wasn´t really a fan of training like this, but she understands and respects his point.

„What do you mean?“ she asked him.

They were now around the 13th round, or at least she thinks, she didn´t want to count it. They were almost breathless, their legs felt like they were on fire, and it slowly became hard to move and control them. Her throat was burning and her lungs had each inhale smaller capacity.

It would be okay if the coach let them just run, but he was whistling at them to change their tempo, sprint or slow down. All you could hear were breathless players running around the field. Mason wanted to continue with the conversation but he was almost out of breath.

Another whistle was heard but this time coach was yelling at them to stop. With that Y/N fell on her knees, forehead pressed into the ground, breathing heavily trying to catch her breath. Mason was beside her on his back, arms and legs apart looking like a starfish. Everyone was on the ground, trying to survive after this challenge.

„I think I´m going to throw up.“ Mason´s voice was heard from beside her, now holding his stomach, whinning.

Y/N stood up, hands on her knees, slowly straithing up. She looked at Mason and slowly pulled him up.

„Come on, it will be only worse this way.“

They were slowly walking back to the coach. The girl looked at the tribune and saw Jenna. She was sitting there and she was enjoying the suffering your coach pulled you through. She had palms under her chin and when she saw you she waved. You waved back smiling.

„It´s cute how your girlfriend comes here every practice.“ Mason said looking at his friend´s reaction.

Y/N pushed her eyebrows together. „Jenna is not my girlfriend.“

„But you want to, so what´s stopping you? She clearly likes you too.“

You just shrugged your shoulders and looked at the ground, hands on your hips. Mason was still studying you, something was bothering you, that’s for sure, but he didn´t know what. He is guessing that maybe you are shy and don´t know how to start, so now he has a mission to get you and Jenna a date.

The thing he didn´t know is that your current situation would be this complicated.

„So as I was saying, how about we would make a night out, we would call Hunter and Georgie and you could call Jenna and she could call her friends. It would be fun.“

Y/N was thinking about it, it wasn´t the worst idea. They could hang out all together and that way they could get closer and know each other better.

„Yeah, that sounds good.“ She last time looked at Jenna before continuing with their practice.

Gideon couldn´t believe it. She was shocked at what Jenna told them about yesterday. She thought something happened between you two because of the way you were sleeping together. It was so cute, she had never seen Jenna in this situation, it was new to her and she was enjoying every bit of it.

But then she told her that you were face to face, looking at one another and you left her there to go to a bathroom. She almost collapsed.

„What?!“ Gideon stood up from her spot looking at her roommate with a shocked and unbelievable face. She can´t process that their perfect plan didn´t work out. Emma´s jaw was hanging, also didn´t expect this.

„Maybe he is gay.“ Jenna grabbed the pillow and threw it at Gideon. The plan was to make sweet and romantic vibe, where you would watch movie and then you would talk about your feelings and finally kiss. Simple and easy. And that happened but you still manage to slip out. Little snake.

You both were acting like kids with your first crush. Running around not making any move, she just wanted to pull her hair out of her head. You both are so frustrating.

At this point she doesn´t care. If you aren´t taking this into your hands, she´s going to take it into hers.

Because if this goes at this speed any longer, she will grow grey hair.

next chapter