#Man. and not as a real person with any agency in a real situation like that. as a character with writers with biases + fetishes.

[beesantennas]

carrying around the Romeo + Juliet statutes in his wallet 🤢🤮🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[spiderfreedom]

the male gaze distorts reality

started watching movies again (just don't like movies really) and one thing that surprised me was how the male gaze isn't just about staring at hot naked ladies, but how it distorts reality. the male gaze creates 'people' and 'situations' that simply don't exist.

the biggest example to me is the femme fatale. the devious woman using her sexuality as a weapon. whether the trope is a blonde bimbo bubblingly bouncing her boobs, or a sophisticated older brunette casually letting the strap fall off her shoulder and threatening to reveal her bust, they are different incarnations of the same concept. the women are knowingly using the sexual desire of men against them.

i watched a particularly egregious example where a group of women were sent to seduce a group of men, hanging off their shoulders, caressing their chests, with the promise of further sex if they came to another room. the true purpose was to humiliate them by getting them to disrobe in front of other people.

when i was a kid watching these scenes, i was convinced that this was a real thing women did - there were women out there who knowingly used their sexual appeal to get men to do things they otherwise wouldn't. it had to be such a recurrent trope for a reason, right? it even shows up in movies for children - remember the hot pink pegasus seducing hercules's pegasus?

but as an adult, i find myself confused watching these scenes. i've never seen anything like this happen. i've never met someone who says they do things like this. it's one thing to be flirty and dress in a sexually attractive way to get free drinks, but it's quite another to be so sexually forward to 'deceive' and 'trap' men. not to mention, it's... dangerous. if the man even believes he's being deceived, he can turn violent. it's a foolish move.

maybe the only real life example I can think of is honeypots. but honeypots are actual spies, trained by governments, and spies are selected to have less empathy than the average human being. do we really think that among untrained women there are so many seductresses with the skill of trained spies?

"what about sex workers/prostitutes?" while the honeypot spy is employed by a government agency, prostitutes are paid by the very people they are "seducing." prostitutes have to put on an act - they need to pretend to be the sexually active and perpetually horny woman men both want and fear. but most prostitutes are not like this; they are in it because they need money fast, not because they think fucking strange men for pay is a sexy and desirable career path (fun fact - read the diary of madam pompadour, the most famous courtesan and the embodiment of aristocratic seductress, and you will find she actually did not like having sex with the king and dreaded it. not even our real life courtesans can live up to our fantasies.)

the entire idea of a woman using her sexuality against men is simply a male fantasy - and the flipside is that it's a male anxiety, too.

men wish that women would approach them and find them desirable and initiate sexual intercourse with them, without the men having to do any of the work. there's nothing inherently wrong with fantasizing that a hot person finds you so special and hot that they want to have sex with you right away. men and women of all sexual orientations entertain these secret fantasies.

but then, there's the fear - "what if these hot women are actually only pretending to be interested in me, to get something from me? and i'm too horny to think straight and i actually give it to them?!" and that is the male anxiety, that for a moment, they actually end up losing the upper hand. despite the fact that such a situation is actually pretty rare in real life (I asked several male friends if they had personally or second-hand encountered such a situation in real life, and none could say they had), it is a common trope in fiction. it is especially lascivious in film, where the seduction before the fall can be portrayed in softcore porny ways.

"this is a foolish idea, everyone knows fiction and reality are separate." well, we know they are separate, but do you know which parts? if you don't already know the facts of the situation beforehand, how can you tell when fiction is lying to you and when it's drawing from reality? do you think the young, sexually inexperienced kids watching disney's hercules know that 'seductresses' aren't a common threat when we watch this scene? or will they learn and think "ok, a thing that happens in grownup life is that hot ladies seduce men, and you gotta watch out for them!" what basis does a child or even a teenager have to know this is false? especially when this is a common trope?

"women are sexually available and active - and deceitful" is a harmful trope. when you read about the ancient greeks stereotyping that women are lustful, they don't mean it in an "aww shucks, these girls just love having sex!" kinda way, they mean it in a "women are unfaithful and will use any means to get dick, including taking advantage of their hotness" way (this is why 'whore' is the ultimate insult for women). because if this trope were real, then it would be dangerous, wouldn't it? honeypot spies are dangerous for this reason. luckily for us, it is not real, but the male anxiety surrounding it continues. the male desire/anxiety around it informs porn tropes about 'punished sluts'. it informs incel tropes about the 'cock carousel'.

and this is what i mean when i say the male gaze distorts reality. it fabricates, out of whole cloth, a person that does not exist in any meaningful way - a woman who seduces men while demanding no emotional involvement, who is eager and willing at all times, who can turn the very desire for her existence against those men to get what she wants. she is not repulsed by or afraid of the men she pretends to be attracted to. before, we had to content ourselves with art and novels glorifying this false woman, but film allows her to exist in flesh and blood. cast a real woman, have her speak words and move her body in ways dictated by a man, and suddenly she appears much more real. grow up with enough of these, and even women writers can start to think these "seductresses" are real people. she can try to reclaim her and turn her into a badass boss babe, or she can condemn her as immoral and pathetic, but the deception is complete - the argument is no longer about whether this woman exists (she does not), but about whether she is justified in her ways. the female writer does not realize she was nursed on the male gaze for years, and it will take serious seeing with her own eyes to realize what is the real world and what is male fantasies and fears.

[zairene]

hey girl i loved your dazai relationship headcanons SM, can I please ask for a version with Chuuya? YOUR WRITING IS LITERALLY AMAZING.

AS A BOYFRIEND. chuuya nakahara

* ˚ ✦ synopsis: how chuuya nakahara would be like as a significant other.

* ˚ ✦ genre: headcanons !

* ˚ ✦ warnings: spoiler free + a fem reader is also very heavily implied / stated !

* ˚ ✦ author’s note: sure you can ! and ty so much that means a lot <333 i did write as y/n still in the ADA, if you don’t mind !

chuuya nakahara, the hot-headed and impulsive young man who you were interested in when you first met him.

he’s very arrogant when it comes to his abilities and his remarkable skills revolving around the port mafia. he may talk a lot of shit, but he can still definitely beat your ass at any time any day, no doubt. and this personality does NOT come off as pleasing to women, hence his failure in the romance department. so, when he realized that you weren’t immediately disgusted with him after knowing him for such a little time, he already developed some appreciation for you.

with chuuya, there is also a lot of patience with him too—but not in the way you would think. chuuya had a difficult time trusting you. chuuya despises dazai, and it’s very well known, and knowing that you were a part of the armed detective agency and was on dazai’s side put him off. yes, even in their years of rivalry and multiple times of working together, he just doesn’t find himself truly trusting him or you.

it’s not like you weren’t trustworthy or showed signs of being dishonest, he just knew that if he became too vulnerable with you, it would open up an opportunity for you to betray him and he doesn’t do well with betrayal. he knows that it’s not impossible to gain his trust, so he respects you at first, but he keeps his distance.

so yes, you have to chase him, he doesn’t chase you.

think of the trope of, she falls first but he falls harder… sort of.

this started with subtle flirting from you, very subtle to the point where it had him going insane on the fact whether or not you were interested in him. it’s not like he could go to someone with advice so he was seriously stressing himself out over it. there were times even when dazai pointed it out but chuuya would brush it off as dazai trying to poke fun at him.

after you did it multiple times, he finally decided he would reciprocate it because it’s not like he didn’t like you, he was just surprised at the fact HE DID? so, the one time he came back with an even risker line with you, you were shocked. this had you excited because you finally had some type of confirmation that he liked you! now the next step, asking him out.

it was hard catching him in his free time with being the port mafia’s strongest martial artist. he was constantly sent out on missions and meetings. just to your luck, you found him strolling the streets one random day, and that encouraged you to just go up to him knowing this moment would not occur again.

this confession was just you talking and him staring at you with his widened eyes and his lips slightly parted. and when you were done speaking, he could only spit out one thing. “yeah… yeah sure.”

and that started your relationship with him!

i honestly don’t believe it would be filled with arguments, at least not real ones. because the PETTY ARGUMENTS you guys have is an hourly occurrence. no joke. the playful banter between the both of you is amazing, but his competitive spirit can get overwhelming and it causes petty arguments. at this point, you kinda just believe that he likes to hear himself talk.

i feel that the biggest problem you would have in a relationship is his major trust issues. mentioned before, he doesn’t do well with shady or shifty behavior. this doesn’t pair well with situations where you want to have a surprise party for him for his birthday, but he’s under the impression that you’re doing something behind his back that isn’t as innocent as it is.

the product of this is arguments and a lot of breaks between you two. he’s not difficult to talk to, but incredibly difficult to get to, if that makes sense. it would take a lot for him to believe that you’re being truthful. you can sense he takes loyalty very seriously, so after the birthday party incident, you took a mental note that surprises don’t sit well with chuuya and to make sure to not do them again.

other than that, your relationship with him is pretty smooth!

however, he also has his moments where he makes weird comments toward you trying to suggest that you’re “inferior” to him and that you can’t handle yourself. he always feels like he has to protect you or things will go downhill even when you have proved countless amount of times that you were extremely capable.

those times when you have to give him a reality check and bring him back down to earth for a second. his apologies are him bringing you a bouquet and a long talk about how sorry he is why he made those comments and how he would never make them again. you forgave him and he really stood by his word! he always gave you credit when it was due, maybe too much sometimes, but you can tell he was sorry.

other than that, some general things would be that he isn’t a big fan of PDA. he doesn’t hate it but doesn’t prefer it. he wouldn’t mind if you just held his hand or kissed him on the cheek (maybe lips) but would much rather save everything else for in private. he’s all for separating his work life from his relationship with you, especially since both of your workplaces are against each other. he’s very awkward when it comes to intimacy, but once you’re together for a while he likes it, especially getting home after a very rough mission that day.

he likes to act like he hates pet names, even the silly ones you give him, but he likes them. he would never admit that you calling him pookie bear makes his heart happy each time.

overall, chuuya is a pretty good guy who has his moments. he can be painfully unaware of himself and his actions sometimes so you have to handle the liberty of telling him off and putting himself in his place when it’s needed. but don’t worry, he never takes it to heart when he realizes he’s wrong. he loves you and as the relationship goes on, he learns to trust you a little more every day.

(📦) — BUNGOU STRAY DOGS TAGLIST // @4nthonyyliving

(📝) — TAGLIST FORM :: sign to be apart of the taglist!

[burst-of-iridescent]

I hate when people say(*writers*) when zuko is an emo bad boy. When zuko acts "emo" and "badboy" as they say it's him reacting to his trauma and abuse as a kid(most of time. Zuko is still badass. But badboy no). Is it an excuse? No. But when zuko is acting that way in canon, his obsession with honor, his yelling, his moodiness, his short temper. That is the product of having his empathy literally beaten/burned out of him by his father(and mocked and emotionally abused by Azula). The reason Zuko is doing this whole thing is because he wants to please his father. Become someone he's not. His struggle of who his father wants to be with who he is. It's because of the abuse of his father and his family. As the series goes on you get more and more flashes of the person Zuko was and the person he can become. By the end of the series it's such a great contrast and Zuko is much more happier because he's with the gaang. His family. He got out of that abusive situation he was in and finally became himself. A dorky, empathetic, caring, skilled swords men, a balanced person. Does he still have moments of anger? Yes. But over all Zuko becomes a fully balanced person.

gasp! but if we don't call zuko a bad boy, however will we make sure people don't get any ideas about shipping him with katara?

jokes aside, you're absolutely right and i roll my eyes so hard when people point to bad things zuko did, or his behaviour pre-redemption as indisputable proof of the kind of person he'd be post-redemption. like you said, a lot of zuko's actions and mannerisms before day of black sun is a direct result of the trauma he suffered, and though that doesn't excuse him - and neither does the show allow it to - discounting it entirely is to erase the abuse zuko endured and how that shaped him.

using the first half of book 3 as evidence of zuko being a supposed bad boy irks me in particular because a) the narrative makes it pretty clear that this is zuko as the worst version of himself, the opposite of everything he actually is and could be, and b) he is stuck in an abusive household at the mercy of his abusers, in an actively life-threatening situation.

zuko knows that he is in a situation where he has no real agency, freedom or control. he knows that aang is alive, that azula has turned him into a scapegoat and that his life will be forfeit if his father finds out the truth. that is an incredibly terrifying and stressful situation to be put in and it's worsened by the fact that he can't even admit it - not just because doing so would mean accepting that he gave up everything that actually mattered in the catacombs to gain nothing in return, but also because no one around him will allow him to do so.

his girlfriend can't understand his experiences or his turmoil and doesn't seem to particularly want to, brushing off his anxieties and encouraging him to stay the course. he is manipulated by his father and gaslighted by his sister, aware deep down that he is entirely under their control and that they have a vested interest in keeping him helpless, yet forced to pretend as though nothing is wrong. he is isolated from the one person who could help - his uncle - physically and emotionally, both because visiting iroh puts zuko in danger, and because zuko's choices have created a rift in their relationship.

all of this compounds the psychological stress zuko is experiencing, forcing him into a constant state of fight-or-flight, and this context is vital to understanding many of the decisions he makes and how he behaves in the first half of book 3.

(this is why i don't agree with the take that hiring combustion man is an ooc moment for zuko because even though i think the idea of combustion man himself is stupid - not to mention disrespectful to the hindu origins it's pulling from - it's a fundamentally desperate move, and zuko at this point is more desperate than he's ever been.)

that's why it's unlikely that zuko post-redemption would behave similarly since many of the factors that contributed to his anger, hostility and moodiness would no longer exist! judging zuko's future behaviour based on a time when he was constantly abused, gaslighted and threatened is just not an accurate or fair means of measurement, especially since we know what he's like at his best. the zuko we see with the gaang still has a bit of a short fuse, sure, but he's also sincere, honest, awkward, shy and far happier than he's ever been. because shocker, people tend not to act the same way in healthy, supportive environments as they do in abusive, traumatic ones. who would've thought?

people who make this argument also usually tend to compare zuko to aang, especially to glorify how aang remains cheerful and peaceful despite his trauma, and... no. just no. first of all, the show barely gives a fuck about developing aang's trauma the way it does zuko's so of course it seems to affect him less, and secondly, there's something to be said about how trauma responses like aang's are a lot more palatable and comfortable for audiences than responses like zuko's, or even katara's in the southern raiders.

anger or moodiness, or wanting to punish the people who hurt you, are not inherently wrong ways to react when you've been wronged and traumatized. praising aang for remaining cheerful and forgiving while calling zuko a bad boy for being angry and moody implies a sense of moral superiority that comes with reacting to trauma in the "right" way, which is both inaccurate and insensitive.

zuko will never be aang, and that's fine. he doesn't have to be. he ends the show reclaiming everything his abusers tried to take from him, having found himself and his destiny, in a place of healing that is all his own. that is an incredibly meaningful and powerful narrative, and the last thing zuko deserves is to have all of his complexity and development stripped just to be reduced to the tired trope of a "bad boy" when he was never one in the first place.

[starcurtain]

The Kinda Unhinged Ratiorine Fic I Want to Read

In an (admittedly very contrived) AU situation, Dr. Ratio finds out he's about to be cut out of his (mostly estranged) family's inheritance forever because of his complete lack of interest in continuing the family line. Which, all factors considered, does make perfectly logical sense. Investment of capital should go to the branch of the lineage most likely to benefit from it, and Cousin Tiberius has five sons and daughters already. Let the house and the trust fund go to them.

But the library.

There's absolutely no way Veritas could bear to be permanently parted from the staggering assemblage of paper volumes under his collected family's auspices. Not only would being separated from tomes so full of memories be heart-wrenching, but think of the devastating blow to his research! There are records in those archives that no other mortal eyes have ever gazed upon!

So there's only one solution for it: He needs to pass on his family name, immediately.

(Andddd the rest is under a read more because what is brevity?)

Problem 1: Veritas Ratio is very gay.

Problem 2: Statistically, single men have the lowest chance of being selected for adoption placement, and this Child Welfare Agent is looking at his alabaster head very, very strangely.

Think, Ratio, think. What is the most efficient way to solve such a tedious quandary?

The obvious first step is to increase his likelihood of being selected by the adoption agency, and the quickest way to do that is... Eureka! How elegant a design! He just needs to enter into a (temporary) committed and stable partnership to demonstrate a degree of domestic dedication and home-building prowess!

Problem 3: ...Where in the universe is he going to find a stable and committed man willing to marry him?

Ratio does not exactly possess the world's most endearing personality. He might... never have had any form of romantic relationship lasting past a one-night stand even, because it turns out most people don't like being scored a 2/10 on their technique during intercourse.

So he's probably not going to find a stable and committed man.

But... He might at least find someone willing--for the right price.

Enter Aventurine (stage left). He's as expensive as they come, the greatest reward saved for the highest bidder, but despite his festering ambitions, he's still trapped as nothing more than a high-class escort, owned by a company the IPC has on the books as selling everything but what they actually trade in: Avgin slaves.

Sigonians... The reputation--and sleazy men's curiosity--precedes him, and though he only has to get on his knees for the truly bold nowadays, he hasn't yet been able to make the ultimate gamble, pull the last string needed to finally gain his freedom: the freedom to live his life as he pleases--and to enact every ounce of vengeance he's been storing for decades like cards up his sleeves.

Until now.

Until an absolute madman shows up at the underground headquarters waving around an offer that no average person would possibly make: He wants to buy Aventurine and wed him.

(Because marrying a Sigonian thrall is a safe and sane thing that safe and sane people do.)

The offer is far too good to be trusted: A real marriage certificate but a perfectly fake marriage, a no-fault divorce once an adoption is finalized, and a guaranteed sponsor for his citizenship documents. A year or two of fake homemaking, this Veritas Ratio claims, and then Aventurine can walk away a completely free man, no strings--no chains--attached.

Well, Aventurine of the Myriad Stratagems has always held one skill dearer to his heart than any other: a crystal clear knowledge of when to fold--and when to go all in.

(...Problem 4: Amber Lord help him, Aventurine's new husband is the most irritating man in the entire universe.)

Alas, if only that was their biggest problem. Somewhere between learning to navigate the citizenship process, the adoption process, a truly unacceptable level of systemic racism, and also, increasingly, each other, Ratio and Aventurine discover that the circumstances of their lives might be far more entangled than they ever could have imagined from the beginning, and the same shadowy parties that profited off Aventurine's existence might have a vested interest in parting Ratio from valuable research secrets--permanently.

While struggling to maintain a charming and loving facade and struggling not to kill each other behind the scenes, Aventurine and Ratio also end up having to out-roll and out-plan a particularly dangerous enemy; something they can really only do together.

Or, tl;dr: Dr. Ratio chooses the most efficient but most unhinged method of finding a husband that intelligence could possibly contrive, only to determine that marrying a guy whose track record for unexplained deaths matches his track record for card counting really is the encyclopedic opposite of "committed and stable." Ridiculously enough, the trouble they get into is almost entirely Ratio's fault, the only one who is remotely convincing in front of the Child Welfare Agency is Aventurine, and sometimes it turns out the guy you married for the library ends up being the guy you married for life.

[ticklinglady]

The Guild's actions during the story are so insane, when you think about them properly, you know? When I first read the arc with them, this moment hasn't really occurred to me, as I was too busy going nuts over finally seeing the names of the familiar writers, but now when I think of that... I am not sure, I comprehend how they managed to achieve such a ferocious reputation. I have already made a little post about how extremely dysfunctional the DOA members are, but at least those guys have a plan, which actually makes sense more or less, even despite the gang using cheatcodes/the Book. The same cannot be said of the Guild however archghhjkn. Like, what the hell were these guys even doing??? XD

So here are just some moments, which weirded me out the most

At first I'd like to address the entire story with everyone's favorite tsundere, Lucy Maud Montgomery. Her introduction leaves quuuuite an impression in the best way and nothing makes me happier than the fact, that she gets a chance to find happiness in the following chapters and actually becomes a reoccurring character! HOWEVER, her entire involvement with the Guild is super odd... I still can't wrap my head around her getting fired. She is a girl with a hella powerful ability, who got taken to the Guild from a terrible, terrible orphanage in order to fight for them in the war for the Book, so not only is she very strong, but she's also immensely dependant on the organisation and wouldn't do anything outside of its interests. Yet Lucy is also put under extreme pressure. As she herself puts it, the Guild doesn't tolerate failures and will kick her out the moment she screws something up.

Later we see that this is exactly what happens, when she messes up her first mission. Fitzgerald himself confirms that, since she failed and revealed her ability to the enemies, she's no longer useful, so now a powerful esper, like Lucy works for free as a... laundress?

EXCUSE ME??? WHEN HAVE THE GUILD MEMBERS EVER DONE ANYTHING, BUT FAIL AND REVEAL THEIR ABILITIES?

Let's be real, these dudes were successful like only once or twice...

This fact not only makes Fitzgerald look like an idiot for wasting such a talented and useful worker, because of one mistake, but also as one hell of a hypocrite, cause he is more than fine with everyone else fucking up. And in case of Lovecraft and Steinbeck: fucking up twice. To add to the oddity, we later learn, that Louisa genuinely cares for Lucy and despite her social anxiety actually stood up for her during the entire story, but even that wasn't enough to change Fitzgerald's mind on the issue, though Louisa is one of the few people, whose opinion he respects. Honestly, this is such a waste of a truly useful subordinate. And speaking of which....

The Guild has never even tried to implement Edgar Allan Poe during the war...

This man is actually rather op when you think of it. He can capture and neutralise literally any ability user in Yokohama (besides Dazai, Mori and Ranpo ofc) just by throwing a book at them. Seriously, as we see with Chuuya, they don't even have to read it, they just need to see the pages. Plus the book can be actually sent via email!!! So why has there been an absolute zero amount of strategies with the use of this ability??? They could actually try to catch Atsushi by sending him such email containing any of Poe's mystery stories and then safely carry him back to their base. And it doesn't have to be just Atsushi, it could be literally any of their enemies. Non-combatant, like Ranpo could use this pretty damn well to his advantage and it doesn't take a genius to understand the potential of the "Black Cat in Rue Morgue". But nooooo, it seems like everyone has just forgotten of Poe!!! (Tho to be honest, I can actually see this situation in a funny extra awfgbfggfjj. Not the main story however) The agency would never even learn of his existence, if he didn't personally decide to try to fuck Ranpo's life up. Like, what does Poe even do in the Guild? He's the master architect and, according to him, the third ranking man in the organization, but we never see him be of any use, so Idk. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Lucy at least got to do something, unlike this poor man.

Then there's the entire drama with the Guild's decision to destroy Yokohama. Where do I even begin...

First of all, Fitzgerald has no way of knowing that Atsushi is going to come to Moby-Dick to fight him. Poor guy is the Guild's primary goal and has already gotten himself captured once, so it would have been safe to assume that the ADA decided to hide him somewhere and not send him on any dangerous missions for the time being. That basically means Fitzgerald could have burned down not just Yokohama, but also the only person, who could actually help him find his precious Book.

But if we're to ignore this, let's also go with Wikipedia then~

"Yokohama is the second-largest city in Japan by population and the most populous municipality of Japan. It is the capital city and the most populous city in Kanagawa Prefecture, with a 2020 population of 3.8 million. It lies on Tokyo Bay, south of Tokyo, in the Kantō region of the main island of Honshu. Yokohama is also the major economic, cultural, and commercial hub of the Greater Tokyo Area along the Keihin Industrial Zone."

..........................

Good luck making up for the destruction of THIS, Fitzgerald 🖕

And if this in itself wasn't bad enough, most people, including me, tend to forget that all Guild members are actually big shots in the American government, which I think is very sad. Because first of all, can you imagine any of the Guild members actually working as politicians?!! The sheer idea makes me hysterical avshbgj. Like, just consider Lovecraft working as a senator or something. This eldritch horror of a man leaves the ocean once in three years at best LMAO. Second of all, I have a feeling, that the destruction of Yokohama at the hands of influential politicians from a foreign country would have resulted in an international conflict or two~ Like as if random deranged rich Americans arriving in Japan, wreaking havoc over there and destroying the second largest city in the country wasn't bad enough, these Americans just HAD to be super influential businessmen and politicians. Louisa, my dear, I understand that it wasn't your intention, but it's as close to a declaration of war as it can get, you know? Fitzgerald may be ready to do anything to resurrect his dead daughter, but I'm not sure, that the execution of himself and the rest of the Guild at the hands of the Hunting Dogs is something he'd like.

(And here's another funny thing that stems from them being politicians 🤭 As @originalartblog wittily pointed out, Fitzgerald wasting all his money fighting sskk has probably resulted in a market crash and recession over in the USA)

I also have some other questions in regards to this entire plan, such as why did they have to waste Moby-Dick just to destroy Yokohama? Yes, it works in the short term, but in the long term they loose a super powerful fortress with the stealth mode and as the practice shows, you better have a safe base, unless you want another lemon freak to blow it all up. I mean, you could just ask Lovecraft to destroy everything for free. Or, if the device is the only way to stop the giant whale from crashing, why didn't Fitzgerald just take it to a far away bunker or something and waited things out there without the need to spend millions of dollars just to survive the explosion? (And it would have been extremely funny, if during the fight with sskk he just threw the device overboard) But I think I have already rambled for long enough already atxhghbgv XD

The Guild is an even bigger mess than the DOA and I think that's glorious 🙌

[devsgames]

Playersexual

"Playersexual" is a term I only recently learned about and it's fascinating to me. For those who don't know, it usually means a character whose sexual orientation is basically open to whatever the player happens to be playing as. Trans? Yeah they're romancible. Man? Romancible. Woman? Sure, romancible. As long as you're the player they don't really care.

I think this term, combined with playing a lotta Baldur's Gate 3 and Starfield, sorta helped me come to terms with understanding why I often dislike really "open" romance systems where every character is Playersexual.

I'm a queer, bi/pansexual person, and that informs how I perceive interactions in and out of games. I totally understand the affirmation and liberation that comes with being able to romance whoever the heck you want. To some people, that's where the fun is at, and I get it. It's valid.

For me I just I feel weird when Playersexual is the orientation of characters in a game world that is also trying to get me emotionally invested. In my eyes, it tends to strip the perceived agency other characters might have; it makes them feel less like real people with wants, needs, attractions and preferences. They end up being more like a checklist or object to be interacted with until I choose all the right option and unlock the kiss or sex cutscene, or the mechanical bonus a relationship brings or whatever the case may be.

To me, characters that feel 'real' have sexual preference. Honestly I feel that if they lack that they sorta lack a fundamental element that informs them as a person and a character. Like, any queer person can tell you that when you're queer things are different. Interactions are different, how you act on the world is different, how you assess situations and the way you engage in conversations are different. Queer people interact with a predominantly straight world different than straight people do. Similarly, being a straight person in a world full of straight people affords interacting with the world fundamentally different than if you were queer. I think to say "every character is maybe queer" steamrolls this fact and sort of undermines that queer experience to an extent.

Plus I think its just like, a missed stroytelling opportunity! The straight dude turns my masc ass down because he's not interested in men? Oh hell yeah, if he's polite about it I think that's really cool! He feels like more of an actual person that way, and what might ordinarily be perceived as a 'failure to romance' feels like it could be spun into another step in our journey as friends together. Maybe we'll crack jokes about it later, or he'll have a change of heart once he gets to kmow me better. It might be awkward, but we had an experience together and set some friendly boundaries, and built an understanding. After all, people having boundaries are often what makes people people in the first place.

So when I play a character and a game tells me everyone in a game is queer, then I'm either lead to believe 1) my character is incredibly charismatic (trust me, that's not usually the case) 2) queerness doesnt exist as a concept in this universe (weird in its own way and also usually not true) 3) eh i dunno we didn't think about it too much just choose someone as a partner already (boooo!).

Look if everyone in my party has strong opinions about me pickpocketing someone and stealing 5 bucks from them, I'd expect them to have opinions about who they share a bedroll with >:(

[emaistome]

Alicent and her "liberation"

I wholeheartedly believe that to tell a feminist story, you have to at least tell a story that make sense, this is unfortunately not what Ryan Condal and his team did with Alicent Hightower, in season two of HOTD.

I kept defending them and their choices, until that last scene of season two, and although it breaks my heart that Alicent “sacrificed” Aegon, I have to admit that the things she said around it bother me a bit more.

Before anything, I want to point out that the patriarchy is not some fable, some story that they tell women to make them be submissive; it’s a setting that affects the lives of every living woman in the world (both the real world and asoif). It restricts the freedom of women, and put their very lives at stakes all the time. It manifests itself everywhere, so much that it’s easy to make people believe that “It’s just the order of things”. Sure, women can try to fight against these rules, like Rhaenyra (to a certain extent) who did not care about the prejudice against women and their sexuality, and vied for the throne despite having bastards. Or like Rhaenys, Visenya and Alyssane who despite all of their faults, did try to make the lives of women in the seven kingdoms better.

Alicent did believe that men were more fit to rule, while she thought that women were supposed to “guide them gently”. Although she believed that Rhaenyra should sit the Iron Throne, and she also tried to be named regent, so it’s inconsistent, but I digress. However, I don’t blame her for that. Alicent did not make these rules; these rules existed long before she was born, and that’s what she has been taught since she was a child. Alicent suffered a lot from them. In fact all her life, all she did was trying to make a better life for herself and her children under these rules. For the entire season one, Alicent was shown as the person who suffered more from gendered oppression in the show. Her reasoning for taking the throne was valid her actions were understandable and motivated by self preservation. If they Rhaenyra took it, she would need to kill all of Alicent’s children.

Somehow, season two episode height, had her apologizing for all the actions she made out of self-preservation. And you can smell that some 21st century writer was the mind behind her reasoning, but I’ll say more on that later.

Multiple people in charge of the show, talked about Alicent needing to be humbled. Why does she need to be humbled and apologize for her sins? While a man like Viserys, who cut his wife to take a child out of her and raped Alicent is glorified. They had her recite all the misogynistic criticism the general audience had against her, and apologize for it.

Alicent tried to be the perfect friend for Rhaenyra, more than she should have. For some reason people still find ways to blame her. She was groomed since she was 14 by Viserys and Otto; she is blamed for that, as if she had any agency in the situation.

Alicent should betray her family, disobey her father to protect Rhaenyra, do the opposite of what she was told since she was a child. And it would still not mean anything because neither her, nor Rhaenyra have power in the situation.

She was raped by Viserys as a 15/16 years old girl, again it must be her fault as a 15 years old girl, and she manipulated poor old Viserys who had no idea that he was grooming a young girl. And they always use the argument that it was fine at the time. The discourse around it resembles the discourse around Lolita when it was first published more than 50 years ago, and people still haven’t moved from blaming young girls for the actions of the men around them.

If they have a little bit of conscience, they will tell you that they feel bad for Alicent when she was a child, but not for the adult she became. But the adult is the direct result of the abuse that she suffered when she was a child. And again she fears that her children could be killed, a valid fear. Why would I blame her for doing what she could to save her family? Apparently Ryan Condal and Sara Heiss, think that she should apologize for that. “I lost my way; or rather it was taken away from me.” Implies that she realizes that getting married and having babies was never what she wanted, but something that was forced on her. But in the same scene (just like in the entire season), she praises Viserys even thought he was the main person who took her agency away from her. And I understand that victims can cope by idealizing their abusers, but viserys did not abuse only her, he abused her and her children, and clearly didn’t value her sacrifices. I think it came to that point where she didn’t even need a “liberation arc” to realize that, yet she still praises him.

Let’s talk about her plans to run away. This is where the writing started to feel the most like a 21st century pseudo-feminist was in charge of this writing and was more attached to the idea of Alicent being free, instead of real freedom. Alicent planned to runaway with her daughter and her granddaughter to “breathe the open air, and finally be free”, but she doesn’t plan any money? It’s as if they were trying to make her sound dumb because Aegon and Larys were also planning to runaway but somehow they knew they had money somewhere. But Alicent? Nothing. I’m actually not nitpicking. The patriarchy actively refuses to grant women power or money, so that they could stay bound to the men around them, to their family. And she doesn’t have any skill to survive when she “wanders in the wilderness” she was raised a highborn lady in a castle life in the wilderness, without any family to protect her would kill her and her autistic daughter and granddaughter. Women usually stay in abusive environments not only because they were brainwashed, but also because they feared that the world outside might be less kinder to them. It takes a minimum of logic to understand that the patriarchy can’t be kinder to a lowborn unknown woman than Alicent who sat in the royal small council, where only her and Rhaenyra sat as women in the seven kingdoms. She is still top two, of the most privileged women in Westeros, running away would not make her situation better.

We have a a history of women actually running away from Westeros and not being free from the patriarchy. Saerra was sold to a brothel, Jorah’s wife was some man’s concubine and Daenerys, had all her money being stolen and was sold as a child bride to Khal Drogo.

There is not a single way to make that scene work, it’s not feminist, as it realizes nothing but making one of the most intelligent characters appear very dumb. And I’d rather have Alicent be misogynistic and intelligent than having her be liberated and dumb. Women in real life can be misogynistic and perpetuate the system that made them suffer because that the only way they can survive. But also how can I blame her for her own oppression, how can I ask her to apologize for her actions as a victim.

[mcufan72]

Sugar and Cinnamon

Loki x female reader (AU)/ 18+

Chapter 12

Chapter 11

Warnings: contains fluff, smut, angst, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, alcohol and cigarette consumption, soft!dom/sub vibes, toxic relationship, morally grey stuff, blackmailing, abusive and insulting behaviour, workplace bullying, some violence

A/N: I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this. Life keeps being a plague. It's a long chapter once again and the end of the story is coming closer. I hope you enjoy reading.

While slipping into your dark green trainers you called Walker. You hoped that he could quickly drive you to lower Manhattan. You needed to find Loki as soon as possible and maybe you needed Walker's help to stop him from doing something really stupid. You weren't sure if Walker would answer your call, maybe he had worked the whole night and was still sleeping right now but you had to try it. You needed someone by your side you could trust and who wouldn't let you down in this awful situation and besides, you had no other person you could ask for help in this specific situation.

“Hello? Who's speaking?” You heard Walker's hoarse voice on the other end of the line, answering your call. It sounded like he was suppressing a yawn.

“Walker? It's y/n here. Walker, can you come, please? I need your help”, you asked him and grabbed your coat from the coat rack, putting it on.

“Are you okay? Did something happen? Is it about Mr.Larsson? Did he do something to you?” Walker was immediately wide awake when he heard your concerned and subtly frantic voice but he couldn't imagine that something bad could've happened between you and Loki.

“It has something to do with him, yes but he didn't hurt me. Walker please come, it's urgent. Can you drive me to lower Manhattan? Immediately? I'll explain everything to you while driving there and I promise I'll make it up to you. But please, please help me”, you nearly began to cry. You were so afraid that it might be already too late to avoid the worst case.

“Of course, dear, I'll be there in five”, and he ended the call.

You hurriedly ran down the stairway and waited in front of your house for Walker to arrive, impatiently walking up and down the pavement. It seemed you waited for an eternity but shortly after you saw the familiar black limousine driving around the corner to pick you up. You yanked the door hastily open, slipped into the passenger seat and closed the door, Walker looking quizzically at you.

“I don't belong on the backseat anymore, I won't return to the agency to work as an escort lady. I've fallen in love, Walker and I wanna be together just with him, with Lo… Luke”, you answered his wordless question, nearly accidentally revealing Loki's real name caused by the overwhelming situation you were in. You could barely think straight. Your thoughts were all about Loki and what he was about to do.

“I'm glad to hear that, y/n, you deserve happiness and a loving man by your side. Where do you want me to take you?”

“Do you remember the building I told you where my last workplace was?”

“Yes, I do!”

“Perfect! Please drive me there and Walker, we have to hurry. Loki… Mr Larsson is going to kill someone and… we need to stop him. He told me that… that he would kill my shitty ex after we spent our first night in the hotel suite. Now I'm running after him to avoid it and if not… he has to go… to jail. Walker, I can't lose him, I can't live without him”, you explained, your voice trembling with fear.

“He's going to kill someone? Seriously? This man would go to any lengths for you, wouldn't he? I always knew it. This man has fallen deeply for you. But…’Loki’?” The name evoked something in his mind.

“Walker, please…”

“Yeah, let's go. Buckle up, ma'am, we're in a hurry. Let's go on that mission”, and he ignited the engine, pressed the accelerator pedal down and merged into the traffic. The sun wasn't shining anymore and it began to rain when you were halfway through Manhattan. And as if that wasn't enough to darken your mood, you ended up in the biggest traffic jam you could think of. There wasn't any back or forth and no chance to take a different way. The rain got pretty heavy and you pulled the hood of your coat over your head. You opened the door, ready to jump out of the car onto the rain-filled and busy streets.

“What are you doing? You'll be drenched within seconds!” Walker warned you.

“I cannot wait for the traffic jam to clear, Walker. Meet me at the building of my former workplace, okay?” You didn't wait for his answer and confirmation. You slammed the car door shut and ran, ignoring everyone who came into your way, dodging everyone as best you could. The rain was pouring down now and you were already drenched to the bones after a few seconds but you didn't care. You ran, you ran as fast as you never did before in your life, and you hoped it wasn't already too late. Ralph's agency was still several blocks away.

“Loki, don't, please don't do it… Loki, no”, those words dropped off your lips like a mantra and your tears mixed up with the heavy raindrops on your face.

***********************

“Is your boss in?” Loki asked calmly but darkly.

“Do you have an appointment, Mister…?” The front desk lady, a beautiful, young woman dressed in an elegant business dress, wanted to know. Seemingly impressed she stared at the man in front of her. Tall, with prominent cheekbones and a sharp jawline, his long inky black hair slicked back to tame the obvious curls, his toned body perfectly dressed in an all-black suit and a black dress shirt with a dark green tie, fixed with a golden tie pin, a dark long straight-cut double-breasted coat with notched, dark green lapels and a dark green lining. A nice pair of golden cufflinks peeped out of the coat’s sleeves and rounded off his elegant outfit. Loki would never appear on a business matter in casual clothes like he had worn when he had left you this morning. His appearance was extremely intimidating, even frightening and the dark sunglasses, which covered his eyes, added to this feeling. Loki ignored her and turned around to head to Ralph's office which must be behind that massive wooden door to his left-hand side. Today was payday. Not for you but for Ralph. Loki was on a mission and his mission was to fight for the honour of his lady, for you. And he had no time to waste.

“Sir, please, I must insist …Sir, excuse me, you can't… Sir”, she shouted at Loki, running after him and trying to stop him from entering Ralph's office without an appointment or personal invitation.

“Shhhh”, was all she was hearing when Loki turned around to look at her, placing his pointer finger vertically over his lips to shut her up.

“I assure you, I can, madam”, Loki said, his voice deep and cold as the arctic night. The young woman froze in place and she already knew that she would get punished by her boss because she hadn't done her job correctly which was to avoid this man walking straight into her boss’ office. Her neck hairs stood up when she saw Loki with long strides approaching her boss’ office door, his boots heavily hitting the floor. Loki gripped the doorknob, turned it, entered the office silently, and closed the soundproof door soundlessly behind him.

Ralph's back was facing the door and he was staring out of the floor-to-ceiling windows while he was on a phone call with someone. At the horizon, heavy rain-filled clouds were hanging dangerously in the sky, coming closer with every minute. His voice trembled and sounded angsty and excitedly. Loki took in the interior of the office and everything looked like he had expected. A curved glass desk, with several photos spread out on it, and a black leather executive chair, designer furniture, of course. A big flat-screen TV embedded in a wood-panelled wall, mahogany, of course. The finest cashmere silk carpets covered the marble floor and an amazing view over lower Manhattan completed the luxury of this office. And nothing of this came from Ralph's work. Not the money he owned, not this exclusive location, not the interiors. Nothing he claimed to be his was his at least. Not at all. Most of it came from your work and the work of your colleagues and seeing all this now with his own eyes after you had told him everything made him even angrier than he already was. He could literally and figuratively see how hard you had worked for all of this and he knew that professional success didn't come from nothing. Ralph really knew how to exploit his employees, mentally, physically and emotionally. A more superior, arrogant prick who never shit between two shoes. His only interest was money. He didn't care about anyone, he only cared about money and wealth. It disgusted Loki to imagine you in the arms of this jerk and he shuddered inwardly, suppressing the upcoming possessiveness and protective feelings he had for you. He had to stay cool and collected to avoid any bad mistakes which could bring him back to the dungeons of Asgard.

“You'll get your money… yes… yes, I assure you… yes, yes I promise… yes, I know she'll pay… C’mon, you know me, I'd never…”, Ralph whined into the phone and tried to sound credible when he turned around, looking at the tall, dark-dressed man standing opposite of him.

“I call you back, bye”, he talked into the phone and ended the call abruptly.

“And who the fuck are you? Who let you in? Do we have an appointment? I don't think so! Get out of here!” Ralph addressed Loki disrespectfully and upset.

“The front desk lady told me that you're here and I let myself in”, Loki responded emotionlessly and took off the sunglasses to put them provocatively slow into the pocket of his coat, settling his piercing gaze on Ralph's face.

“That bitch will get fired. That fuckin’ loser will never learn to do her job right. I'm surrounded by fuckin‘ idiots”, Ralph shouted towards the door, raising a clenched fist.

“Says the son of a bitch who has nothing else to do than exploiting and mistreating his employees and caretakers. I'd say, that makes you a fuckin’ idiot, a snorty pretentious douchebag who looks down on others”, Loki said while walking slowly towards Ralph, towering dangerously over him.

“Who are you? Are you one of Malone's men? I've told him I need more time. Don't go on my nerves, man!”

“Never heard of that name”, Loki answered, his voice menacingly.

“Are we dealing with the wrong men, Mr Belmont?” Loki tilted his head. “It doesn't matter who I am. I am no one's man. Well, I'm y/n's man but this is none of your business”, Loki's voice was deadly calm, deep and threatening and he felt the urgent wish of conjuring a knife.

“Ohhh, I see…”,Ralph laughed bitterly. “Are you her new stud, eh? Is that bitch in heat again? Well, I hope you fuck her right. Does that slut go wild when you shove your dick up her cunt or does she still think of me to cum hard? She's so frigid sometimes. That's so boring and annoying, isn't it? Thankfully it's none of my business anymore. Maybe I could give you some advice on how to pleasure her right. You better make the slut pay her debts or I'll forget about my good manners”, Ralph bellowed. “The clock is ticking man and soon you and the rest of Manhattan will know about what she really likes, you know. Would you like that? Your girlfriend posing naked on every billboard in Manhattan you can think of?” Ralph said provocatively not knowing who he was talking to. Loki clenched his jaw hard, glancing down at Ralph before he looked at the pictures on the desk.

“Are these the photos you're blackmailing y/n with?” It was a rhetorical question and he had a closer look at the spread-out photos. They showed you, his precious girl and beloved queen, in sexy lingerie or completely naked in lascivious poses or throwing air kisses toward the photographer, which was Ralph. Loki would've found them cute and arousing but knowing under which circumstances and why they were taken he was just disgusted. You didn't deserve that. It was abusive and violated the most private part of your life. He knew you had agreed to get photographed like that by your ex but they shouldn't lay here, on the desk, for everyone to see, ready to get published. On closer inspection, Loki discovered an HD-card lying on the desktop too, halfway covered by one of the pics.

“And the sex tape is on that card, I assume.”

“What a clever man you are?” Ralph answered sweetly and dismissively. “The bitch hasn't paid yet. If she pays, she can have them. If not, I'll publish them tomorrow at 6 am sharp. I own a bunch of billboards around town and beyond the city limits. It'll ruin her reputation, she won't have any chance in the marketing business anymore… or she comes back to me, back to the office and into my bed, so I can teach her further and everything will be fine again and I'll forget about the sexy, dirty little secrets I share with her”, Ralph said, a sardonic smile curving his mouth. “Or are you interested in the photos and the porn video? It's a really good one. Maybe you can learn something new, eh?” And he kept grinning complacently at Loki. “You can have them… let me think… for half a million dollars? That's the bare minimum for such a beautiful girl and a great offer, isn't it? You also would have two things for the price of one… you'd have her and the erotic photos. I'd say that's a fantastic deal so... Take it or leave it”, he offered the pics to Loki like they were a slice of meat.

Loki kept eyeballing him, pure hate and contempt in his gaze and he tried hard to not lose his cool. His fantasy evolved from punching and stabbing Ralph to ripping his tongue out. It was hard for him to stay calm but he had something to lose and that he would never risk. Not for someone like Ralph. Somehow he had a feeling he could hear your voice from afar, begging him to not do it, whatever ‘it’ was.

“And you say you loved her?” Loki's voice sounded emotionlessly but inwardly his blood was boiling.

“Who said I did? Yeah, in the beginning… everything was sunshine and roses and we were fucking like rabbits, yeah it was fun. She was of great use, you know. Everything she touched turned to gold. She's smart, clever, brave, an excellent negotiator, and a successful account manager. She's one of the best in our business. It gained us loads of money. She had a luxurious life with me and everything a girl wants: a penthouse in the best region of Manhattan, a beach house in the Hamptons, luxurious holidays, luxurious designer clothes, purses and shoes, her beloved cabrio to cruise to her mama, finest jewellery and big ass parties, and we still had sex which was off the charts when she was in the right mood… anything a girl could dream of but she threw it all away… for someone like… you?” Ralph raised his eyebrows and his grimy laughter filled his office. Loki was close to freak out and he had to suppress the urgent need to kill Ralph in an instant.

“But love? Love is for kids and dogs and absolutely overrated. Money and sex are good, and more fulfilling. Y/n was an investment, you know. She had a good life with me and there was no need to leave me. She decided differently. But no one, absolutely no one leaves a Belmont. Not without paying back their debts. I just want the money back I have invested in her. And being generous as I am she just has to pay a fraction of what she has cost me… or you take my offer. It's all up to you. Your decision. But as lovesick as you are I'm sure you'll take my offer.”

Loki's anger was boundless and grew with every second this piece of shit kept talking. The memory of you, sitting on the couch with your knees pulled to your chest, desperate and bawling your eyes out because of this man, this swine and what he had done to you and to what his behaviour had forced you to do, flashed back into his mind and made his heart aching. Enough was enough. This man would never hurt you again. Without a warning Ralph was grabbed and spun around and with an expulsion of air when his back hit the wood-panelled wall hard, he was pinned against it by two horned shadows. Panicking, Ralph couldn't see that they had the same shape as Loki. Loki's eyes shimmering greenish and dangerous, he slowly and elegantly took a seat in Ralph's leather chair, crossing one long leg over the other, keeping his stare fixed on that pathetic mortal literally sticking to the wall. He could clearly sense the smell of cold sweat that ran down Ralph's forehead and temples. Ralph screamed and shouted, struggling against the shadows that held him firmly against the wall.

“Hey asshole, stop that, damn it! What is that, let me down! Who are you?” He screamed.

“Someone who is fighting for justice and the honour of a woman. If you want to survive this you better answer my following question accurately. I only ask you once. Are these the only pictures and the only HD card you have of y/n?” Loki rested his forearms on the chair's armrests and kept staring at Ralph with that greenish gaze.

“Don't you dare threaten me… as if I would tell you, asshole… arghhh…”, Ralph whined and instantly the grip of the shadows tightened painfully.

“Wrong answer. Try again but be aware, it's your last chance”, Loki explained dryly. He still considered stabbing Ralph, cutting his balls off, and freeing him from his tongue and eyeballs… There were so many possibilities.

“Yes, yes these are the only ones…”, he answered, his voice squeaky and nearly suffocating when the grips of the shadows tightened further.

“Are you sure? No copies?”

“Yeah… arghh…no… no copies”, Ralph howled, convinced Loki would buy his lie.

“Wrong answer”, Loki responded and let the grip tighten further. He was sure he heard some bones of that pathetic creature break.

“Hey, …stop it… I tell you but please stop it, let… me down”, Ralph begged pathetically and cried painfully. “Hey, I need the money, okay?”, he pressed out. He wouldn't be able to stand this physical attack much longer but Loki wouldn't show mercy until he knew where the copies were.

“I need the money… they won't have mercy. Y/n owes me… she owes me the money…I invested in her… I've debts…a lot of debts. I borrowed money from them…”

“Who are ‘them’?” Loki wanted to. Not that it was important, he was just curious.

“The mafia, the… New York mafia, guys from… the underground…”

“Then you shouldn't have messed up with them. I'm sure they'll take good care of you and your issues. It's none of y/n's business. She was definitely right when she told me you would never get enough. Did you really just try to sell her to me? You even tried to sell me the pictures of her for twice the money you're blackmailing from her. You're such a disgusting piece of shit. And for the record, y/n owes you nothing. But you, you owe her everything. She never wanted all that fancy stuff and your money that isn't even yours. She wanted to be loved and appreciated but all you did was just hurt and abuse her and keep her in a toxic relationship. You tore her heart out and destroyed her happiness. Slowly, torturously, every single day over so many years. You're a scourge, a fucking scourge, threatening everyone around you. You deserve no pity or any kind of sympathy. You used y/n, her trust and her love and mistreated her in every way possible. You nearly wrung the life out of her, you wanted to throw her under the bus. That girl sold her body out of necessity because you had nothing else to do but take advantage of her and blackmail her. And the worst thing is you blackmailed her with these photographs, her proof of love because she posed just for you and trusted you that you would never show them to anyone else. You're disgusting and pathetic and you will burn in hell for that. You don't deserve any good and you never deserved her. You just used her to save your own ass. I should kill you for that and believe me, I could do terrible, awful things to you but you're not worth it that I get my hands dirty on you. You're a disgrace, not worthy to be in the same room as her, not worthy to breathe the same air she breathes, not worthy to even look at her. She's a queen, a goddess and you were never worthy of her at all. And now listen very carefully! You will never reach out to her again or I will find a way to eliminate your pathetic existence.” Loki's voice was full of hate and wrath and there wasn't the slightest shadow of a doubt that he wouldn't do what he was telling him.

“She's under my protection now and you get out of her life for once and all! Got it, you little shit? Where are the copies?” Loki snorted angrily, nostrils flaring and teeth clenching.

“Yeah… got it…”, Ralph confirmed, desperately gasping for air his lungs were longing for. “On my laptop… there's a file on my laptop… that's all… I swear, that's all…”

Loki rose from the leather chair and with a flick of his hands the photos, the HD card and any other digital devices in Ralph's office and on any other desk on this floor turned into ashes, leaving a smoldering mess on every table of Ralph's company. When Loki's shadows vanished, Ralph crashed down to the floor and Loki saw that this pathetic nobody had pissed his trousers.

“Pathetic”, was Loki's only comment and with that he left Ralph's office without closing the door.

“Someone should clean up the mess and tidy up his room”, he said while passing the front desk lady, with her shocked face staring at her smouldering computer and phone. Loki quickly left the floor and finally the building. When he stepped out of the building the sun wasn't shining anymore. Rain was pouring down instead and the streets were already wet and puddles formed everywhere. Damn, he had forgotten to take his umbrella with him. He still lived undercover as Luke Larsson and as this alter ego he couldn't risk conjuring an umbrella under the eyes of Manhattan's inhabitants.

******************************

You ran through the heavy rain, desperately crying and your lungs aching from the exhaustingly run. But you didn't dare make a pause or run slower, you needed to find Loki and stop him. What if he had already killed Ralph? What if it were already too late? You ran and ran, water splashing up your trousers. You were holding your head down the whole time to save your face from the raindrops painfully hitting your facial skin. You kept staring down at the pavement while running through the crowded streets. The way to your former workplace didn't seem to end and you were close to giving up on your plan to save your lover from doing something really stupid when you finally arrived and suddenly bumped into a solid wall of muscles. Immediately, two strong arms were wrapped firmly around you and a familiar voice addressed you scoldingly but lovingly.

“Hey, watch it, girl!”

You looked up, the rain covering your face again.

“Loki, oh my goodness, Loki”, you gasped and hugged him ever so tightly that he moaned with laughter.

“Sweets, what are you doing here, I told you…”

“Loki, please…please tell me you didn't kill him…Loki…” you cried.

“Sweets, why should I…”

“Loki, why did you kill Ralph? Please tell me…please…why did you make such a mistake…I'm not worth it that you risk everything for me…”

“Sweets, calm down. Protecting the people you love is never a mistake… well, listen… everything is…”

“Loki I can't lose you, I can't. How am I supposed to live without you? They will take you away from me…they will bring you to Asgard and then…” you continued upset.

“Sweets, no one will bring me…” Loki tried to interrupt you.

“They will, Loki, they will…and I will never see you again…please, please don't leave me alone…I can't let you go…”, you sobbed desperately.

“Would you please listen to me just for a second, my love?” Loki asked you insistently.

He made you loosen your tight grip on him a little bit so he could look into your tear-stained eyes and talk to you. He cupped your rain-wet face with his big hands, his thumbs gently rubbing over your cheeks and he pressed a tender kiss to your lips. They were wet from the rain and your tears but the salty taste was delicious and the softness of your lips gave him the familiar comfy feeling in his gut. But it also felt painful and somehow like a goodbye.

“I didn't kill him. I only taught him a lesson”, Loki told you calmly after breaking the kiss.

“You didn't kill him?”

“No!” He answered softly and chuckled.

“You really didn't?”

“I really didn't!”

“The photos… What about the photos? And the video?”

“Destroyed, gone to ashes. Everything!”

“Are they? Really?”

“Yeah, really”, he responded, nodding affirmatively and smiling at you.

“I am… I am free now?” You asked unbelievingly. Loki hesitated for a moment before he gave you the answer. He didn't want to let you go ever again but maybe he had to.

“Yes, Sugar. You're free. You're free to go wherever you want. And… I'll keep an eye on you, I promise. I'll be there whenever you need me, sweets. I hope you get happiness soon, you deserve it, more than anyone else. You will always be in my heart and I will never forget you, my sweet thing. You showed me how love, care and adoration should feel and I'm so grateful for it and… I envy the man who is going to call you ‘his’ one day. What a lucky lad he will be.” Loki's voice broke a little bit and he was glad that it was still raining so you couldn't really see the upcoming tears in his eyes.

“Why would you say that? Why are you talking about another man? Why do you make it sound like this is our goodbye?” You were puzzled and rattled.

“You said, you aren't sure if you're ready for a new relationship, a relationship with me. You also told me that you would never fall in love with a client. And in the end, I maybe was never more than this, a client. And it's okay, I totally get that. I just want you to be okay. If you're happy, I'm happy too. I'll always be your friend,” Loki said with obvious sadness.

“I've already found him…” and you gave him a reassuring smile.

“You found who?”

“The man I want to be with… the lucky lad”, you told him, mischievously grinning.

“Yeah, I thought so… and it's understandable”, Loki confirmed and you couldn't help but chuckle.

“You're such an adorable, admirable, wonderful and beautiful charmer, Loki Laufeyson. You still don't know it? It's you. It has always been you!”

“But you said…”

“Yeah, I know… I said a lot of things, stupid things. But there's one thing I didn't say yet”, you told him softly, grabbed him by the collar of his coat and pulled him towards you.

“I love you, Loki, I love you more than I can tell or show you. You're everything to me”, and you pulled him in for a kiss, pressing your lips gently onto his. He swept his tongue along the seam of your lips, demanding entry and you opened your mouth willingly. This wasn't a kiss of passion or a kiss to evoke positive emotions. It was a kiss of revelation. It was a kiss filled with all the love you had inside of you for each other. Now he knew that he loved you, sincerely and genuinely, and he also knew that you loved him too in the same way. You had just told him and he knew that you would never lie to him. The truth was in that loving kiss.

“We should get you out of the rain, sweet thing. You're drenched to the bones. I don't want you to get ill, my love. Let me bring you home.”

“Home? Which home, Loki?”

“What do you mean, sweets?”

“Please, I'd like to go home with you. I don't want to be alone anymore…” Loki smiled brightly at you and pressed a kiss to your forehead, the rain still pouring down on you two.

“Let's get back to your home first so you can get some of your clothes and belongings and then we can go to my home if that's what you want. I'd love to take you home with me, sweets. I don't want to be alone anymore either. And later I'll take you out for dinner. I want to date you and spoil you. Would you like that, my love?” He asked you softly.

“You've no idea how much I'd like that, Loki”, you confirmed.

Loki felt a swell of emotion rise inside him and he didn't know if he wanted to smile or cry or both of it at the same time.

“Thank you, thank you for doing this for me, Loki. You risked your freedom and your life for me”, and you kissed him again and he was holding you so tightly as if the pouring rain could wash you away if he wouldn't hold you this close.

“I'd do anything for you. I'd spend the rest of my life in shackles and solitude as long as I know that you're okay, that you're happy and safe. And I swear, I never wanted to buy you, all I ever wanted was to help you, protect you, love you and have you by my side!” Water was dripping from his dark locks and the tip of his nose, and you were sure there were also some tears running down his cheek.

“I know, Lo, I know”, and a swell of tears prevented you from further talking.

Loki rested his forehead against yours and pulled you gently closer against his chest if that was even possible. He felt you trembling because of the rain and the upcoming wind and most possibly it wasn't just because of this. There was so much tension in you and so much pressure over the last months, emotionally and physically, and you still couldn't process yet what just had happened and what Loki had been doing for you. You would need some time to cope with the whole situation and to fully understand that you were truly free now.

“Let's go, sweet thing. You're dripping wet and shivering because of the cold”, and while he thought about calling for a taxi, a car's horn, which definitely was different from other horns, was honking invitingly. You both looked in the direction of that special noise and a big smile crossed your faces. It was Walker. He finally had made it through the traffic jam. You two hurriedly ran hand in hand to the limousine. Loki yanked the rear door open to let you get into the backseat first.

“C'mon, get in, you two love cats”, Walker insisted and he smiled at you both, a fatherly concern in his eyes.

You two slipped into the backseat and as soon as you were sitting next to each other, you began to laugh wholeheartedly. You two looked rather like completely drenched street cats than like two adorable love cats. Walker turned his head to look at you and joined in your laughter. Neither Loki nor you could remember the last time you were laughing that freely and genuinely. For the first time, you recognised Loki laughing like this and you were in awe at how beautiful he looked when he was laughing and you were sure his smile could cure all of your sadness, insecurities and fears.

“So everything is alright, I assume?” Walker wanted to know.

“Yes, everything is fine. We're so sorry, Walker, that we're ruining your backseat. I'll dry and clean it after reaching my apartment, I promise”, you told him while lovingly squeezing Loki's hand which rested on his thigh in the sodden trousers of his completely waterlogged suit.

“Don't worry about that, y/n. So, where do you want me to drive you and Mr Larsson?”

“Please drive us to my beautiful lady's home first and then it would be great if you could drive us to New Jersey, to my penthouse”, Loki asked him politely.

“Of course, Sir, as you wish”, Walker responded kindly and turned the key in the ignition. Ignoring the blare of car horns, he merged into the traffic to drive you two to your home first and he also put the partition up to give you some privacy.

With a slight side nod of his head, Loki's clothes went dry and his hair was all styled and fluffy again. Your mouth agape, you stared at him and formed a silent o with your lips and raised your eyebrows. You couldn't believe what you just had seen.

“How did you do this?” You asked him surprised when you had found your voice again.

“Ooh… ahhmm… sorry, old habits, sweets”, he answered apologetically. He wasn't aware that you had never seen him using magic.

“It's one of my many magical abilities. I'm sorry if it freaked you out.”

“No, no, not at all, Lo! It's cool. Can you do this drying thing on me too? I'd love to be dressed in my dry clothes again”, you sighed longingly.

“Of course, I can use my magic on you, too. I just wouldn't do it without your consent, and he looked deeply into your eyes, drowning in them and he urgently wanted to kiss you.

“You have it!”

“I have what?" His eyes, which had the aura of a lovesick panther, were still fixed on yours and you cupped his face to pull him in for the much-needed feeling of his warm lips on yours.

“My consent… you have my consent, Lo.” Your last words were a whisper and then Loki captured your lips with his. While he kissed you so deeply and passionately you felt how your clothes went dry.

“Thank you, you mumbled against his lips before you continued making out with your lover. As much as you enjoyed being dry and feeling more comfortable in your clothes again you couldn't deny how sexy and irresistibly arousing you found it to get physical with Loki when you two were in a drenched state. You should test it in a warm shower with him and you started giggling under the sweet torture of his lips, teeth and tongue.

“What?”

“It's nothing…"

“Ooh, I know there's something. What makes you giggle? Did I tickle you?”

“Nooo… I just thought about having sex with you and cuddly hugs in the shower”, you explained.

“Uhhh, you would like that?”

“I would!”

“Your wish is my order, sweet thing and you know that I'm eager to fulfil all of your wishes and needs and not only the naughty ones", he said softly and brushed a strand of hair tenderly out of your face and placed some more gentle kisses to your lips and finally to your temple.

“I want to ask you something”, Loki said, his tone a bit more serious again.

“What is it about?” You wanted to know.

“Do you think Walker would like to work for me?”

You just looked quizzically at him.

“I don't know. Maybe? You should ask him!” Loki nodded at you and pressed the button of the intercom to get in contact with the chauffeur.

“Walker, could you please put the partition down, I'd like to ask you something”, Loki addressed him and immediately the partition went down.

“Of course, Mr.Larsson. How can I help you?”

“Walker, you're one of the most loyal, friendly and reliable chauffeurs and men I've met in a very long time. The way you always supported and protected my beloved woman and I guess any other escort lady of Rhea's agency impresses me and … I would like to employ you. Could you imagine working for me? Exclusively for me? I need a reliable driver who lays great value on discretion and secrecy as much as I do and who would take good care of not only me and my family but also their safety and security in casualty when I can't be with them. It would also include driving a lovely woman and her wheelchair to any place at any time she wants, together with her daughter. You would only have to work in the daytime and driving us by night is going to be an exception. I'll pay you properly and I'll guarantee you excellent working conditions. You don't have to give me an answer right now. Take your time to think about it and… do you have a family?”

Walker was speechless because of Loki's extraordinary offer and he needed a second before he could speak again. He cleared his throat and answered Loki's question.

“Yes, I've got a family. My wife and three kids. I'm sure they'd be glad if I didn't work entirely at night anymore. Also, I'm not only a certified driver, I'm also a certified bodyguard so I could work as a bodyguard for your family too, if necessary. Working in the daytime would offer me more time with my offspring and the missus would be happy to spend more time with me, too.”

“Then discuss it with your wife and let me know your decision.”

“Thank you, Mr Larsson. I… I really don't know what to say and how to thank you. I truly appreciate your fantastic offer.”

“Not that for, and no worries, Walker. Take your time. And there's one more thing which might help you to make a decision. My name isn't Luke Larsson. I'm Loki Laufeyson and I've been living undercover here for twelve years now and you possibly know who I am. But I think you deserve to know who your might-be new boss is. And don't hesitate to refuse my offer. If so, that's just fine for me. I'd absolutely understand it and would totally accept it”, Loki said genuinely.

Now Walker knew why it clicked when you called him this morning and accidentally used Loki's real name.

“New York Invasion 2012. That Loki Laufeyson?”

“Yes, Walker, I'm exactly that man”, Loki confirmed. Walker nodded knowingly, directing his words towards Loki, looking smilingly at him through the rearview mirror.

“It won't have any influence on my decision, Sir. And if y/n trusts you, I'll trust you, too. There's no doubt about it. I'll talk to the missus tonight and I'll let you know about my decision.”

You stared unbelievingly at Loki. Did you get him right? He not only wanted Walker to work for him, but he also wanted him to work for you and your mum. You couldn't believe it.

“Loki, you… you also thought about my mum when you made him this offer? I… I don't know what to say”, you asked him surprised.

“Of course, I did. You're a part of my life now. And so is your mum and everyone and everything that belongs to you and I'll take care of that too”, he told you and with one of his hands he cupped your cheek lovingly. Your eyes teared up and your lips formed a silent ‘Thank you’. What a wonderful and caring man he was and you just hoped you could live up to his love.

***************************

In the early evening after bringing some of your belongings and the things you needed to finish your exams, there were just a few days left, and after some hours of cuddling and drinking tea, you were now sitting in a small, romantic Italian restaurant and having a wonderful candlelight dinner with Loki. A dinner you always had dreamt of you could have with him without the pressure of doing the job of an escort. Tonight you were here as his date, a real date and not a fake date. You wondered why you two were the only guests in the location and Loki explained to you that he had booked the whole restaurant because he wanted to be alone with you. It was so wonderfully intimate and you two enjoyed every second with each other, sharing food and wine, exchanging smitten looks and dreamy moments. Loki held your hand, kissing your knuckles from time to time and he never took his eyes off you. Intimate gestures and loving teasing didn't need any words. The atmosphere was perfectly harmonic. Was there anything more lovely?

“Have I already told you how gorgeous you look tonight in your lovely dress?” Loki gushed.

“No, not yet until now.” You knew that he would like your casual, sleeveless, nicely swinging black dress with the big white polka-dots and he didn't know yet that you wore the green silk lace panties of the lingerie set he had given to you.

“I'm so sorry, sweets, please forgive me. Your beauty makes me just speechless and it clouds my mind.”

“Charmer! As if you were any better, dressed in that dark green, half-opened shirt and your tight-fitting chinos. You're distracting me too and I know you're doing it on purpose”, you teased him and let your foot slide upwards over his shin between his thighs, and with your toes, you started playing with his crotch.

“What the hell are you doing there, you sweet little naughty thing?”

“Nothing”, you responded with assumed innocence, a mischievous grin curving your lips and you took a sip of your wine, looking temptingly at him over the rim of your glass. Loki grabbed your foot and prevented you from rubbing and massaging his manhood further and making him cum in his trousers. He had different plans with you.

“I'm so sorry”, you pouted playfully, licking your lips and placing your glass on the table.

“You're not but if you're a good girl for me and stop turning me on so shamelessly you might be rewarded later.” With your innocent smile and your sparkling eyes, you were hard to resist and Loki considered fucking you right here and now, bent over the table, your breasts exposed and your panties shoved aside, his stiff cock penetrating you pleasurably. But no, this date should be all about you and he had planned something sweet and lustful for you, something he would've loved to do much earlier at a former date and he was sure you'd enjoy it to the fullest. He'd let you fuck him later, at home, under the shower, against the wall or in his bed or wherever you wanted to make love with him. Tonight he was all yours.

“I'll be a good girl then, I prefer to get a reward”, you said smilingly and withdrew your foot. You shoved some spaghetti into your mouth, chewing and becoming thoughtfully.

“What is it, sweets? You seem lost. Are you mad at me now? I was just kidding… I thought you might like some lustful games. I love it when you touch me like this…”, Loki said apologetically.

“It's not because of that and no, I'm not mad at you, Lo. It's just… What happened in Ralph's office? I just can't get it out of my head. Would you mind telling me?” You pleaded for him to tell you about it. You needed to know it for your inner peace so you could close this painful matter.

Loki considered what to tell you and what he should better tell you not because he didn't want you to get hurt any further.

“I told him to stay away from you for the rest of his life and that I would find a way to eliminate his pathetic existence if he's not willing to follow my orders. I did it with a kind of physical force… guilty of that. But I swear I never intended to kill him. I'm well aware of the consequences it would have for me and I'd never risk that. I'd never risk losing you and I'd never leave you alone, sweets”, Loki answered your question and held your hand firmly and protectively in his.

“I know, Lo”, you whispered and a single tear escaped your eye, making its way down your cheek and a soft smile curving your lips.

“When you took a nap in the afternoon I did some research and contacted some business friends for further information about your shitty ex. He has not only lent money from the New York mafia, he also has gambling debts with several New Yorker underground guys, more gambling debts than he can handle. He also kept living beyond his means and he was never good enough to run a company on his own. You were absolutely right, he never gets enough and he tried to use you to save his ass.”

“Yeah, everything makes sense now and I always sensed there's more about it. He would never have stopped if you weren't there…”, you sobbed quietly and Loki caressed the back of your hand tenderly with his thumb.

“Don't think about it anymore, my love. It's over now, you're free and I'm with you and I'll keep you safe. I always have your back”, Loki told you comfortingly.

“Please help me to forget and to start my life anew. Free and without those disgusting threats”, you muttered and kept smiling lovingly at him.

“I'm here and you're already in the middle of the beginning of your new life and I'm with you and I won't go, I'll never leave you alone, sweet thing”, Loki assured you and with your free hand, you reached over the table and cupped his cheek. He leaned into your touch and before you withdrew your hand again he pressed a tender kiss to your palm.

“Thank you for this wonderful dinner, thank you for everything. Did you recognise that this is our first date as y/n and Loki and not as ‘Sugar and Luke’?” You asked him, changing the topic. You didn't want to talk about Ralph ever again. Mentally you let him go to ashes as Loki did with your pictures and the sex tape. He would never influence your life again.

“Yes, now that you mention it, and … my pleasure. I always wanted to have an evening like this with you”, and you both chuckled. It was followed by a deep loving stare into each other's eyes and you couldn't stop doing it.

You finished the main course peacefully and waited for the waiter to take your plates. Loki asked him politely to not disturb you anymore and the waiter nodded and left the dining area. You were completely alone now just as Loki had booked it.

“What about a dessert? You know how much I love desserts. Why did you send him away?” you pouted and Loki smiled brightly and mischievously at you.

“What are you up to, handsome?”

“Come here, sweet thing”, he commanded seductively and you stood up from your chair and rounded the table, your finger slowly trailing over the tablecloth.

“What do you want, loverboy?” You purred velvety and moved like a cat, slowly and lurkingly, prepared for any dirty little game he wanted to play with you.

“I want a dessert”, he murmured and his deep demanding voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“You once said you hate desserts…”

“Did I? Well, I said a lot of things,” and he rose from the chair, grabbed you carefully but firmly by your hips and placed you on the top of the table, staring deep into your sparkling eyes. You spread your legs for him so he could stand between them.

“Yes, you did”, and you watched him slowly unbutton his shirt completely, tugging it out of his chinos and when he finished, you yanked him closer and shamelessly touched his abs and well-toned pecs.

“Yes, I said a lot of things but there's one dessert I'd never deny”, he answered devotedly. “Keep touching me, sweet thing.”

“Here? We're in a public place, Lo. Anyone outside can see us!”

“Don't worry, I took care of that. I'd never expose you like that. No one will see or hear us. Please, keep going, my love”, and you followed his wish and let your hands explore his torso further. He obviously enjoyed it as much as you did. You knew he would never lie to you and that you were safe with him.

“What dessert is it? What does it taste like?”

Loki's answer was a devouring kiss, his tongue playing eagerly and lustfully with yours as if it were the last time he would be allowed to kiss you. His fingers played with your nipples which lay already stiff under the thin fabric of your dress. You moaned into his mouth and your upcoming wetness began to drench your panties and the tablecloth. When Loki broke the kiss you both gasped for air.

“Its taste is sweet, tempting, alluring and it beguiles my senses”, he whispered against your lips.

“Like chocolate?”

“No, like sugar but so much sweeter and I only got a hint of it so far and I definitely need more”, and he sank on his knees pulling your ass closer to him.

“You just got a hint of me on our first night together and you still remember how I taste?”

“How could I forget about that? It haunted me, sweets. Your scent, your softness, your wetness, it haunted me every night but I know it was worth the wait. Please let me have you, let me give you the pleasure I promised you.”

“Yes, show me! Put my mind at ease, Lo and take your dessert. I need you and I need your hot tongue licking that sensitive spot of mine. Please redeem me, make me forget”, you begged him desperately and he slowly shoved the skirt of your dress up to your waist and pulled impatiently at your underwear. He needed to have you and he wanted to have your taste on his tongue. He had been waiting for it for so long.

“Nice panties, sweets. But we need to get them off”, and you lifted your butt a bit so he could slide them down. He winked at you and put them into the pocket of his trousers. He looked so good on his knees and he was so beautiful it hurt.

You laid your back down on the table top when he began to pepper soft kisses to your inner thighs, inching closer and closer to the spot where you wanted him and then he finally buried his face in your crotch. He spread your legs wider and held you by your hips and with the flat of his tongue he licked gently over your clit and you shuddered in response.

“Please, don't stop…”, you murmured and sighed heavily.

“I won't, sweet thing. You taste too good to stop”, he moaned with pleasure.

Loki began to lick you quicker and harder and vigorously ate out your cunt as if he were possessed by it. You could just cry out in pure lust. Loki sucked at your throbbing clit and licked around your sensitive bud in firm circles, the tip of his tongue teasingly licking your entrance. You squirmed and writhed under his delicious torture, your back arching, your legs shaking as he brought you close to the edge. It wouldn't take you long until you would explode and you whimpered loudly when he withdrew his tongue from inside of you and stopped licking you just before you were close to your orgasm.

“Come for me, sweet thing, let go and give it all to me, give yourself to me, fully and completely”, Loki told you as his fingers ran along your clit and you clenched around nothing. You arched your hips against him and he slipped two fingers gently inside of you, curling them up and teasing your inner spot, causing you to let out a throaty moan.

“Norns, I love it when you moan for me. Let me worship you”, Loki groaned and sucked hungrily at the soft flesh of your inner thigh. He withdrew his fingers, made you lick them clean and immediately his magical lips were all over your lady parts again. You positioned your upper body on your elbows and watched him. You needed to see him, kneeling in front of you between your thighs, feeling his tongue moving furiously over your clit. It didn't take long and your much-anticipated climax washed over you.

You threw your head back and moaned deeply and after a few seconds of recovering, he was teasing you again and put his mouth back on your still swollen and sensitive clit, flicking his tongue over it and making you come for a second time. You were crying out his name, your back on the table again, your legs resting on his shoulders. Your hands grabbed his head and you raked your fingers through his thick curls. This man knew exactly what to do with his tongue. He was truly a magician.

“It felt so good, Lo. It was the best cunnilingus I ever had”, you whispered blissfully when you caught your breath again and he raised from the floor, pulled your upper body upwards flush against his chest and enveloped you in a loving embrace.

“My pleasure, sweet thing. I'm glad that you enjoyed it”, he cooed.

“I definitely did, Lo. Best dessert ever. Thank you”, you mumbled against his cheek and your lips found his to kiss him ardently.

“I hope the dessert was to your liking and you enjoyed it too”, you asked him, your hands caressing his nape, and you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him close to you.

“Ohhh yes, I absolutely did enjoy it, my love. The way you flush when I make you come, the way you throw your head back in that special moment of bliss, the way you moan for me, is so beautiful, sweets. You are beautiful and you taste so good. I can't get enough of you”, he whispered against your lips and claimed your mouth in a heated kiss. The taste of your juices and your scent were lingering on his lips and it somehow got you hot and bothered again.

“Please give me my panties back, Lo.”

“Why do you want to have it back, hm?” He purred against your soft and kiss-swollen lips.

“You already have stolen one and the one you have stolen from me just now was a gift”, you pouted sweetly. You felt so free now, worshipped and craved and you were satisfied to the core.

“A gift?” He teased, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips.

“Yes, a gift. It's a gift from the man I love”, you purred.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, it is”, and you captured his mouth by tenderly kissing him. You could still taste yourself on his soft lips.

“What if I want to keep them?” He teased further.

“For what? Why? What are you doing with them?”

“I used the other one to get some steam off, on the lonely nights when I missed you terribly and imagined you touching me, sucking me, making me moan your name. So at least I had your scent and the softness of your panties and rubbing them all over my body, and jack off and cum all over them was so arousing and satisfying”, he muttered lasciviously against the soft and sweaty flesh of your throat.

“You nasty, nasty boy”, you scolded him playfully, tugging his curls gently. Loki chuckled lightly, tilted his head and sucked and bit your earlobe tenderly. You could only make a faint groan.

“But still… I want it back. Please, Lo. You'll have me every day and night from now on. And I really love that lingerie you've given to me.” You still held him captive with your arms entwining his neck and your legs wrapped firmly around his slender waist.

“As you wish, my queen”, and immediately your panties dangled on his long index finger right before your nose.

“Thank you”, you whispered and with a quick, soft peck on the lips you took the panties off from his finger. “Can we go home now? I'd like to get back to the shelter and comfort of your cosy home and I can't wait to strip off your clothes and worship your divine body. And until then my panties stay off, just for you”, and you smiled mischievously and seductively at him.

“Can't wait to get fucked by you. Norns, you're driving me wild, sweet thing”, and he kissed you demandingly and deeply. Since he made you come twice he has been on edge.

“Let's get home then, my sweet lover, let me return the favour and make you happy.”

You two left the restaurant, entered the limousine’s backseat and asked Walker to drive you home. You were well aware of his massive boner, visibly bulging his trousers. You sat glued to him, took his hand in yours, intertwined your fingers with his and with your other hand you held him firmly by his biceps and rested your head on his shoulder and Loki rested his head on the top of yours. You inhaled his scent deeply. An alluring mixture of his expensive cologne, masculinity, arousal and that special something you still couldn't decipher. You felt his heart pounding fast when you moved your hand from his biceps to his chest and placed it in the open V of his half-buttoned shirt. You saw his cock twitching with anticipation and smiled.

“Are you aching for me, Lo?”

“Yes, you have no idea how much”, he answered devotedly and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. He then placed a finger under your chin and made you look at him. In the dim light of the limousine’s backseat, it wasn't clearly visible but you were sure there was a reddish shimmer in his eyes, slowly replacing the familiar piercing blue and his pupils were dilated with lust and desire.

This man burned for you and you would feed his flames. Tonight you would become his forever and he would become completely yours. No more fears, no more secrets.

🌹🥂🌃🌹🥃🌃🌹🥂❤️❤️🥃🌹🌃🌹🥂🌃

Taglist:

@faesimps @lokisprettygirl @gruftiela @anukulee @fandxmslxt69 @foxherder @depressedpolishgirl @buttercupcookies-blog @chantsdemarins @fictive-sl0th @justjoanne242 @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lovingchoices14 @wheredafandomat @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger

[heterophobicdyke]

How do you deal with all the homophobia in radical feminism? I can't stand radblr anymore because of the constant lesbian hatred, all the "classic" radfem writers were polilezzes, and even when I try to meet up with feminists irl they are all bihet homophobes. I want to help other lesbians, but every radfem space I check out is just FULL of homophobia. Is there anywhere else for real lesbians to go?

I hate it too. Like I am a radical feminist because I believe in re-ordering society to eliminate male supremacy. That’s why I care less about microanalysing small behaviours like nail polish and dildos, and care more about brainstorming how to overthrow men - I find the navel gazing self-analysis/consciousness among radical feminists a product of our socialisation. It’s not “feminine” to want to rip society down and start again, so we’re expected to internalise - microanalyse how we, personally, are contributing to patriarchy, rather than taking an active role in warring with men who are the root of the issue.

I’m also a radical homosexual rights activist because I believe in re-ordering society to eliminate heterosexual supremacy. So it’s tough being in radical feminist spaces because they aren’t as radical about ending other forms of oppression - and it conflicts sometimes! For example, we should all be anti-gender because it not only affects women but homosexuals. Gender is misogynistic but it’s also homophobic. However, many radical feminists see gender as a solely misogynistic thing, they see homosexual people with a gender identity as the enemy when they’re equally as victim to gender as women with eating disorders are to beauty standards. Heterosexual women are given the most empathy under radical feminism and it’s almost gendery in how it evolved - lesbians are seen as more predatory all because they’re attracted to women… therefore we’re “like men.” To be a perfect female victim to patriarchy you must desire men and have them betray that desire by abusing you once you’re in love. And don’t you dare suggest these women not enter relationships with men at all! Because then you’re victim-blaming as a stranger to the cause, someone who just Doesn’t Understand. While there’s an argument for lack of agency in specific dire situations, like a woman resorting to prostitution to pay off debt or a drug habit, or a woman in a severely abusive relationship to a man not being able to leave, I think radical feminism must get to a stage where we admit we will never overthrow patriarchy while OSA women choose their male partners over the feminist revolution. They’re not compatible. That’s why many turn to liberal feminism and believe they can self-empower while in these close ties to men. As if these men aren’t oppressors living in your home and influencing your daily lives.

Meanwhile, the radical feminist sex wars (ongoing) involved “political lesbians”—some not even attracted to women at all—telling Actual Lesbians that in fact THEY are part of the problem because sexual desire towards women is a Man Thing that can only ever be objectifying unless you’re having sex in “equal ways,” laying side by side and microanalysing any sexual act for “manliness.” I’m kink-critical, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think people should be emulating rape or kidnapping or racism or pedophilia in the bedroom. But they went as far as to say strap on or sexy talk or whatever was all off limits if you considered yourself a feminist. But women who are not in an abusive situation marrying whole men? Poor babies.

I think radical feminism ate itself when it became about women checking themselves for “manliness” rather than distancing from Actual Males. Lesbians will always lose that because homophobia suggests any form of sexual desire for women is a man thing. Like throughout the sex wars and beyond, women in relationships with males were seen to be permanent victims unable to possibly live a female-centred life unless they got to appropriate the term lesbian, and be Better Lesbians than Actual Lesbians. We know that not all women are inescapably and powerlessly with men, and can’t leave, especially when you consider the radfem polls showing most are middle class with a university education. Where the attention went, and goes, instead, was towards women policing their own behaviour for evidence of “maleness.” Which is gender! Butches, especially butch/femme relationships, and any lesbian with a sexual appetite, were/are critiqued more than discussing how women can distance from actual males! As if masculine/feminine relationships and penetration are heterosexual, male things, and a woman exhibiting those things are worse than women who refuse to leave men who exhibit those things (because she’s so vulnerable and victimised!). In fact, women who are deemed “manly” for such things are seen as a bigger betrayer than men themselves because they see it as coming from inside the house. They can delude themselves into thinking they’re using men for sex and romance but are still fighting some feminist fight internally, yet actual lesbians with no dependence on men whatsoever are somehow class traitors for *spins wheel* not being feminine enough in how they have or want sex? Make it make sense!

Masculinity and femininity are simply what we associate with men and women. The problem isn’t really masculinity and femininity, it’s that they’re forcefully applied and naturalised to the sexes. Harmful beauty expectations like youthfulness and thinness are a subset of femininity designed entirely to make women small and childlike. In the same way “toxic masculinity” is the sort of masculinity designed to give men more power over women through naturalising aggression among men. But there are plenty of good/neutral things associated with men, therefore “masculinity,” that women can and do possess, such as short hair, desiring to penetrate, being good with money and wanting to protect/defend their partner. And some women (and men!) exhibit what we’d consider good/neutral “femininity”: nurturing, preferring being penetrated, in touch with their emotions, animal-lovers. These two types of women, as lesbians, being in a “butch/femme” relationship is not emulating heterosexuality because there is no male involved. But “political lesbians” and other radfem homophobes believe(d) they were/are the higher form of lesbian (despite being attracted to men) because they don’t engage in feminist-neutral forms of lesbian culture and history.

This distraction from the real issue—women living lives that focus on men including their partners—goes on. I think radical feminists misuse the victim label to apply to things they don’t want to change or address. OSA women “can’t help” focusing their life on men, so do we forfeit the revolution for it?

But I’ve come to terms with being a radical feminist regardless of those who have deluded themselves into thinking they can end patriarchy holding hands with a man, and all the homophobia that comes along with protecting that CHOICE. Because I rest easy knowing the barebones foundation of radical feminism—eliminating male supremacy—is what I believe and live my life doing, along with likeminded lesbians, febfems and celibates. I’m not going to stop identifying as a radical feminist because of fakers, in the same way I’m not going to stop identifying as a radical homosexual rights activist despite the TRAs thinking they, also, can reclaim the system and simply rework it in “self-empowerment.” Both homosexual TRAs and deluded "radical feminists" belong to the oppressed classes I want to be empowered, and that's where the solidarity ends. I don't have to bite my tongue to hold their hand in the path towards overthrowing heteropatriarchy. I won't be guilted into playing nice.

That’s how I deal with it.

[mahomadjicks]

Been seeing some posts about the Q and A the clash writing team did and man…

((WARNING: light rant below; mostly me rambling about worldbuilding aaaa))

I’m not fond of what the writing team wants to do, especially since it seems like they’re hyper-focusing on the kudos/street managers. It’s this section in particular that’s got me thinking and worried.

MAN does this phrase here have a lot of food for thought. Not just because of the horror fanfic i’m making, but now things clearly seem to be taking a large turn into the ‘Manager-focused plot’ I feared Clash would write themselves into.

Idk. The way i’m thinking about it, it’s a bit self destructive writing wise for suits to be in inherent ‘tiers’. (Grunt cogs have less personality/free will than managers, ete.)

If one of the goals is to show how COGs Inc exploits and mistreats their workers, isn’t it shooting yourself in the foot saying ‘COGs inc is a horrible company to ALL its workers’, but then turning to say ‘oh yeah, all those cogs aren’t as sentient compared to THESE ones’—

Like, in the case of ‘grunt’ cogs, wouldn’t these cogs be the ‘ground zero’ of the atrocities the company commits? Literally built for one purpose in life, in a cycle of being destroyed and rebuilt constantly without any say or agency. Being held under the thumb of a dubious company that in all technicality owns you, so you can’t really leave unless you’re fired?

If the grunt cogs were just as self preserving and sentient as the managers, then the message would be hammered in better. THEY’d be the ones constantly put under all the pressure for virtually nothing. Instead, the writing team has introduced the dilemma of ‘who is aware/deserving of company rights’.

If these (grunt) suits are inherently ‘lesser’ than their manager counterparts, then it changes the gravity of the situation from ‘discriminatory company practices’ to ‘changing a piece of machinery.’ No real loss, and its business as usual. The very problem i’d imagine the writing team wants to warn and help players to recognize in the story.

While not treated much better, it’s been shown/implied that manager cogs (specifically kudos/street and Litigation) get a lot more benefits and free time than anyone else besides bosses.

Removing personality/preservation from ‘grunt’ suits changes this element in the story from ‘They have higher positions, thus better work benefits,’ to ‘They get those benefits because they KNOW that they have them in the first place.’

In general, lot of the managers seem to have the luxury of being built without a specific company in mind, having childhoods, and ultimately CHOOSING to work at COGs Inc. Many seem to forget the whole reason the kudos/street managers were hired in the first place was in response to Atticus Wing’s death.

They weren’t randomly ‘dropped in’, and now the story needs to be changed to accommodate them. There already was an explicit reason, and it doesn’t seem to conflict with any manager lore after the fact. Why bend over backwards to force them into the story rewrites more?

I understand the managers are super popular, and have been a game changer in terms of story and gameplay, but I honestly feel they’re also blinding people in terms of prior lore and potential lore avenues. There’s no need to break the story/lore further to make the ‘special’ cogs even more ‘special’.

At the end of the day, I get the writing team wants to add more flavor, and I commend them for doing all this for free! Writing isn’t easy, and this isn’t me hating on them at all. I’m just not fond of this manager-centric mindset gripping people. I’m certainly looking forward to all the future content they wish to add, specifically rewrites in toon NPCS.

Anyway just had this in the back of my mind for a minute, feel free to throw in your two cents if ya like.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Self-Aware BSD. World Building. Getting into their world. Part I

Was thinking about writing this installment ever since I published this post.

Important part of my AU - (most of the) characters don't like Reader at first. Some of them hate Reader, some of them were scared of them, some of the characters doesn't care about Reader etc.

So, what would happen, if Guiding Light got into BSD world before characters start liking them?

Part I

When Reader were transported:

Before Characters gain self-awareness

After characters gain self-awareness but before they start feeling their gaze

After characters start feeling their gaze but before time reset

Warning: OOC. Slight spoilers for LN, Anime and Manga, some characters are dangerous to Reader. English is my second language

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If Reader got into BSD World before Characters gain self-awareness

____________

🐾 Terrible moment to be transported. World, full of faceless figures. World, where characters resemble a moving 3D models, that won't react to you, no matter, what you do. If you are strong enough, you will hold yourself together, until Atsushi gains his self-awareness.

Level of danger: 1/10. Hard for mental health, but no one will attack you.

What's good in your situation:

You have a chance to explore Yokohama.

No problems with supplies.

Characters, when they gain self-awareness, will be friendlier to you. They won't associate you with heavy gaze in the sky.

What's bad in your situation:

You might wait for a long time, before characters gain self-awarenes. Depends, on how close to Cannibalism arc you were isekaied.

____________

If Reader got into BSD World after characters gain self-awareness but before they start feeling their gaze

____________

🐾 Tricky one. You can pretend to be a Character, who got self-awareness, but, the chances, that characters will believe you for long are slim. No one saw you before, so, what kind of characters are you, if you have no interaction with any of them? Better tell them the truth about been from the real world.

🐾 Characters are on their guard around you. They aren't sure, if they can trust you.

🐾 While you aren't a Gaze from the sky (for now), you still a person, who knew their secrets.

Tips for interaction:

1. Don't treat them like characters. Don't joke about Chuuya's height, Dazai's suicidal tendencies, Jounou's eyes etc.

2. Never mentioned their likes, dislikes or past. They won't like to be reminded about the fact, that thousands of strangers knew their secrets.

____________

Level of dangers: Depends on Organization you try to stay with.

___________

Armed Detective Agency: 1/10

Ranpo immediately prove your 'innocence'. Yes, you didn't have any idea that they are self-aware. Yes, you didn't know, how did you get there.

Still, ADA will keep an eye on you. Still, will let you go for walks (with at least one of them accompanying you).

____________

Atsushi Nakajima - On his guard, but won't be too unfriendly. Will hurt you only if you attack someone.

Doppo Kunikida - Man is broken by the fact he is not real. You might try to talk to him, he won't be rude to you, but Katai, Yosano, Fukuzawa and Dazai won't let you got too close to him.

Akiko Yosano - Furious about the fact, that she.is a fictional character. Will look after everything you do. It will take her a long time to open up to you. Won't put you in any kind of danger, tho, and, if you got injured, will treat your wounds.

Junchirou Tanizaki - More concerned about his sister. Neutral towards you at that point. Will destroy you, if you make Naomi cry.

Naomi Tanizaki - Neutral and friendly at the same time. Can feel, that you aren't bad person. Don't be rude to Junchirou.

Kirako Haruno - Don't have any bad feelings towards you. Knew, that you are a simple person, who won't hurt anyone.

Katai Tayama - Buried in work. Protective over Kunikida, don't want you near him.

Kenji Miyazawa - sunshine boy. Will be very friendly and polite. Of course, if you didn't do anything bad to his friends.

Kyouka Izumi - Don't trust you. Ready to strike you, if you give her a reason.

Ranpo Edogawa - pretty chill about you. Knew, that you are a simple person and have no chance against them.

Yukichi Fukuzawa - Insist on you to be near him, so he can stop you, if you became a threat. Still, very respectful towards you.

Dazai Osamu - Hard to read. Will always observe you. Don't give him any reason to suspect you.

In conclusion: Not bad to stay with them. They might not trust you fully, but they won't mistreat you or hurt you.

____________

Port Mafia: 5/10

You will be a semi-prisoner for them. Won't keep you in cell, but you can't leave HQ.

Will question you about your world, how you get in their world, etc.

Not very friendly towards you. Treat you with cold, distant respect.

____________

Ougai Mori - Respectful towards you. Won't let any sort of disrespect from you. You can ask him if you need anything, he will make sure, that you aren't harmed.

Elise - Neutral and friendly towards you. Can ask you to play with her. Tried to ask you to prank Mori with her. Don't do it, Mori won't be that forgiving.

Chuuya Nakahara - Neutral and unfriendly towards you. Due to his past, don't like people who try to use him. For him, been a fictional character mean that you might see him as a source of entertainment. Still, won't be that hard on you. Just try not to bother him without reason.

Kouyou Ozaki - Doesn't care about you. She is more concerned about Kyouka. Don't badmouth Kyouka in her presence.

Paul Verlaine - Danger! Paul Verlaine is very angry about the fact that he is a fictional character, on top of been an artificial human. Try not to tun into him. While he won't disobey Mori's orders, it doesn't mean he won't create an incident that will leave you injured.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa - Don't care about you. Don't bother him, if you don't want to be hurt.

Ichiyou Higuichi - Respectful towards you, but won't try to make a small talk with you. Don't want to speak to you.

Ryuurou Hirotsu - Neutral towards you. Will keep you company over a cup of tea, if the chance arises.

Gin Akutagawa - Little bit friendlier, than her brother. Won't lay a finger on you. Not against bringing you something nice.

Michizou Tachihara - Try to interrogate you. There is a chance, that he would try to transfer you to the Hunting Dogs base.

Kyuusaku Yumeno - Love and hate you at the same time. You are the embodiment of chaos for them.

Motojirou Kajii - Neutral, but want to know more about your world. Semi-friendly.

In conclusion: The main danger for you is Verlaine. If you keep your distance from him, everything will be fine.

____________

The Guild: 3/10

Poe was the one, who proved that you aren't dangerous. Guild, as ADA will keep an eye on you. Will let you go for walks.

____________

Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald - interested in your world. Want to know, if you knew, where The Book is. Won't be angry, that you don't know about it. Keep his distance, but makes sure, that you are comfortable.

Edgar Allan Poe - anxious around you, but, it's because of his personality, not because of you been from real world. Will slowly became friendly towards you.

Herman Melville - very respectful towards you. Doesn't feel any negative emotions towards you.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft - curious about you. Still, won't try too much to strike a conversation with you. Don't bother him when he sleeps.

John Steinbeck - Openly rude towards you. He is missing his family, and think, that you are the reason they disappear. Keep your distance.

Lucy Maud Montgomery - while she doesn't like the fact, that, her past was written as tragic, probably for someone else entertainment, she is friendly towards you. Like to chat with you.

Louisa May Alcott - another one who is shy near you. With time, will open up to you.

Margaret Mitchell - Very cold towards you. Miss her family. Keep your distance.

Mark Twain - friendly one. Doesn't treat you seriously. Doesn't treat anything seriously.

Nathaniel Hawthorne - very dangerous, doesn't matter, if he is under Fyodor's influence or not. See you as a threat to Mitchell.

In conclusion: Come to them only if they are your only option. You have three people who are openly hostile towards you. It's unlikely, that they will hurt you, but, staying with three rude people can take a toil at your mood.

____________

Rats in the House of the Dead: 0/10 or 8/10

The only way for you to stay with them - to make Fyodor interested in you. Otherwise, they won't be bothered in letting you stay.

____________

Alexander Pushkin - Doesn't care about you. Too selfish to treat you with respect.

Ivan Goncharov - His feelings towards you depends on Fyodor's feelings. If Fyodor doesn't like you, he will be very aggressive towards you. If Fyodor is neutral towards you, he won't pay attention towards you and won't care about you. If Fyodor sees you as valuable, he will do anything to serve you.

In conclusion: Don't bother to stay with them. But, they are a good way to find Fyodor.

____________

Decay of the Angel: 5/10, 8/10 or 10/10

If you somehow ran into them, you can exchange some information about your world and about BSD plot for staying with them.

Think twice, about staying with them.

____________

Fukuchi Ouchi - Think that you are the reason that his plans were destroyed. May seriously hurt you, if he realises, that you are the Reader.

Bram Stoker - Doesn't care about you. You may talk with him about your world, but be careful. Fukuchi won't like it, if he finds out that you are talking with Bram.

Fyodor Dostoevsky - try to make him see you as a valuable source of information. Don't try to give him garbage information. As long as you are valuable, Fyodor will protect you from Fukuchi and Gogol.

Nikolai Gogol - unpredictable. One moment he is trying to be as close to you as he can, next moment planing your murder. Be respectful, don't try to disagree with his opinion. Try to run into his as rare as you can.

Sigma - neutral and worried about you. Won't be rude, but it will take time to convince him that you don't want to use him.

In conclusion: Sigma and Fyodor are the safest option among DOA. Still, DOA is the most dangerous organization to stay with. If you really have to stay with DOA, better search for Fyodor through Rats.

____________

Hunting Dogs: 2/10

Probably, Tachihara transfer you to Hunting Dogs from Port Mafia.

Hunting Dogs are respectful towards you. Good protectors from Fukuchi.

Fukuchi Ouchi - won't do anything with you. Still, don't like you.

Teruko Okura - was sad, that you were interrogated by Jounou. Nevertheless, don't try to hurt you. Friendly towards you.

Saigaku Jouno - knew, that you have no idea, what happened with them or why are you here. He keeps his distance, can be a little bit sadistic with his words, but not pose any threat towards you.

Tetchou Suehiro - neutral towards you. Treat you as a normal civilian.

In conclusion: Good choice. As long as you don't spill the beans about Fukuchi.

____________

Government and Others: 0/10

You will be supervised. Still, the worst you will get - house arrest.

____________

Santouka Taneda - respectful towards you. Makes sure, that you aren't mistreated.

Ango Sakaguchi - very overworked right now. Simply has no power to care about you.

Mizuki Tsujimura - look after you. Very friendly towards you, try to make sure that you are comfortable.

Yukito Ayatsuji - slightly curious about you. See, that you are a normal person. Treat like a normal person.

Mushitarou Oguri - try to keep his distance. Still can't accept the fact he is a fictional character.

Natsume Soseki - won't try to show himself to you. Observing.

In conclusion: Good choice. They aren't dangerous to you. As long as you don't do anything dangerous.

____________

If Reader got into BSD World after characters start feeling their gaze but before time reset

____________

🐾 Actually, not that different from previous interactions.

🐾 When you hot into their world, they stop feeling Entity's gaze.

🐾 But they found you instead.

🐾 Despite the fact, that characters would add '2' and '2' and understand, that you are The Entity that was looking at them, they won't be really agressive towards you.

🐾 Will they be more cautious? Yes

🐾 Will they treat you colder? Yes

🐾 Will they kill you on the spot? No

🐾 Will they torture you? No

🐾 Will they embarrass you? Humiliate you? No.

____________

Level of Danger:

Armed Detective Agency: 3/10. More cautious. More cold. Yosano and Dazai are ruder. Still, you aren't in danger.

Port Mafia: 6/10. Again, characters are less friendly, but not to the point of harming you.

The Guild: 5/10. Steinbeck, Mitchell and Hawthorne are more hostile, but won't try to do anything drastic.

Rats in the House of the Dead: 0/10 or 8/10. As I mentioned, Fyodor Dostoevsky is the one who plays the music during this party. No difference.

Decay of the Angel: 8/10 or 10/10. Fyodor will be the only one who is willing to interact with you. Sigma is afraid of you, Gogol's feelings are complicated, Fukuchi hates you. Will try to imprison you. Still, won't try to search for you. Just stay away.

Hunting Dogs: 3/10. Fukuchi will try to convince others that you aren't human. He won't sucseed, but Hunting Dogs will more careful.

Government and Others: 2/10. Another group, who will be cautious because of possibility of you not been a human. Still, nothing dangerous to your health.

In conclusion: Hard time to be transported into BSD World. Still, not to the point of been terrified.

[nightcolorz]

so funny that people are only simping this hard for Louis because he tells us every single episode he's the saddest most tragic serial killer in the land. Literally seeing people with my own eyes say Louis has experienced trauma and loss Armand can never imagine under gifs of Louis making fun of human trafficking and the palazzo attack.

Like obviously Armand is a deranged bbgirl torturing and manipulating those men for love!! But people treat it like it's a 1v1 pvp whoever has the weakest finishing move is the Objective Innocent Victim, like abusive relationships between two mass murderers aren't more complex than numerically tallying who you think has the most strength points at any given moment. like louis has barely been concealing his disdain for armand since they met. He gives armand NOTHING. all he does is recreate every shitty abusive act he's ever complained about other people doing to him and doing them to armand.

swear the only thing that man thinks about when armand shares his tragic backstory is embarrassment at finding out that the entire time he was bragging about how everyone in the avant-garde movement tooootally like his art more than Picasso, Armand had paintings in the louvre.

Cw iwtv typical sexual abuse talk and spoilers for iwtv s2

ur so right literally say that shit 🙏‼️ I love Louis and I honestly find it so gross ?? How some people act like Louis is only capable of being objectively the exclusive victim in any given situation or relationship. like it’s fucking weird that someone would reduce him so exclusively to victimhood bcus he was in an abusive relationship to point where theyd insist Louis is not capable of causing harm or being a complex flawed person beyond his victim hood. It takes away his agency and reduces everything that is interesting about his character to one dimensional victim which like, why would u die on that hill as someone who loves Louis’s character?? It’s once again, fucking weird. Louis has been presented to us from the beginning as capable of violence cruelty and selfishness, and him being abused by lestat doesn’t take away his capability of being cruel to Armand 💀 I think that some people were so attached to their assumption pre s2 that Armand would be lestat part 2 who is even more abusive that they refuse to accept or embrace the much more complex reality. Loumand is toxic but very much mutually so, there has been thus far nothing to suggest that Armand is forcing Louis to be with him or abusing him in anyway akin to how lestat abused Louis. Jacob Anderson has even spoken about how louis and Armand are mutually toxic and louis mistreats Armand 😭and louis being a fucked up person is like, smth I wouldn’t understand why anybody would want to deny, it’s very overt. And dying on the hill of “Louis is never ever bad” is like, very weird to me especially since Louis is like canonically capable of being sexually exploitative (literally a pimp) and violent and selfish. Like I love Louis!! In all his horribleness 🙏 and you can too believe me 😭

it’s also fucking weird to insist that Armand is always 100% being manipulative and abusive in everything he does towards Louis bcus, especially in the case of him talking about his trauma, it makes some rlly uncomfortable and gross implications?! Like, I’m not here to say that Armand is the most ideal partner of all time who does no wrong 💀 obviously, he’s pretty mf gaslighty and horrible and violent, but suggesting that what is presented non ambiguously as Armand being vulnerable with Louis about his sexual abuse trauma because louis wanted to know the real him is definitely abuse and manipulation is…like fucked up? 😭 like?? The jump to “oh this character I don’t like is talking about being sexually abused to his partner after having a conversation about how they aren’t vulnerable enough with each other, yes this is Manipulative” is genuinely kind of fucking insane I’m sorry 😭🙏 what Armand has been through is incredibly horrific and noticeably difficult for him to talk about and the assumption that since everything is black and white and Armand is bad he must be talking about this with evil intent is dumb and it’s ignorant. Like yes abuse victim talking about his abuse to his partner who explicitly asked for him to share that, wow that is so emotionally manipulative of him. What a hill to die on 🙏I hope u guys who think like this don’t think this way about ur friends when they vent to u cuz omg 😭

I guess my point with this is that I’ve noticed a lot of people in their refusal to interpret Louis as anything but unambiguously in the right all the time r being like unintentionally offensive and ignorant in a way that’s wild to me 😭 Like guuuys, you can love Louis and talk about how his relationship with Armand is bad for him and Armand harms him without insisting that Louis mockingly telling Armand that the man who groomed and raped him as a child “made him into a little bitch” was justified 😭. Also, friendly reminder that Louis’s daughter was raped and abused in a similar way that Armand was, which rlly goes to show imo how fucked up the way he treats Armand’s sexual abuse is. Like if he is so willing to say shit like that to Armand the moment they have an argument I imagine that his empathy for Claudia does not extend so far. He still was a pimp lol 🙏 and it’s been pretty overtly portrayed time and time again that living a good portion of his life having a position of power where he sexually exploits women for money has limited Louis’s perspective and capabilities for empathy for the people who have been sexually abused in his life 🙏 and guess what!! 😋 this is the horrible abusive murderer show, u can still love Louis (I do) while knowing he is horrible 🙏

thanks sm for the ask ‼️

[adracat]

GWitch ep 19 thoughts

Every episode is a kick in the teeth with candy boots. A sweet misery you've known like no other. This episode was no different and I relished today's destruction as Mio and Prospera take center stage

That's a loaded statement if I've ever seen one. Really enjoyed this brief intro segment. We get Guel's thoughts on Kenanji; uninspired and suspicious, which are a vast change from his once admiration of the man. Guel also seems surprisingly chill about returning to Earth, but cryptically comments he wants to check the situation there and aid in negotiations. I like how Mio and him have fallen into this friendly rapport after everything. We'd like to see him apologize formally ofc, but it's not necessary for Mio. She's focused on greater concerns than the petty school days of Asticassia

Meanwhile, Suletta is a wreck. She's completely fallen apart after her mother and sister dumped her in space like hot garbo. She can't even plaster on a smile and lie to herself any longer. Earth House just thinks she's upset about the break up, so she isn't confiding in anyone at all. Suletta.exe has stopped working :(

Hilariously, Counselor Secilia has decided to make Martin her servant after listening to his confessional. It's great they make a distinct parallel to Miorine here, with Martin explaining he thought the best way to protect Earth House was to give up Nika. The show is filled with instances of people taking away another person's agency in the misguided belief they're doing 'what's best'. So good!

Real Elan finally gets more dialogue and he makes an excellent point, for once. The quickest and dirtiest way into Benerit's graces would be to forcefully suppress the earthian protests. A gundam, let alone one like Aerial, is a powerful statement of supremacy after all. Shaddiq is convinced Miorine would never allow it, and he's partly right. She wouldn't if she was the one truly calling the shots.

Feng is so cool for a spook. She successfully preys upon Belmeria's cowardice and gains her begrudging compliance. Really enjoyed the dynamic here at this little tea party. It was almost like a date 😳 Love me two older women with some tension. Is this the newest gwitch ship to take flight?

I love how Mio recognized these are peaceful protesters immediately. It's another instance of her demonstrating empathy on a greater level than she once did. Her initial ignorant comments about Earthians in cour 1 seem a distant memory, and much of it has to do with her exposure to Earth House. If not for them and Suletta, her pov would be just as narrow as every other spacian's.

And it's off to a terrible start lmao. I think Mio expected an uphill battle but those are some steep demands. A worldwide ban on spacians is unfeasible but absolutely warranted considering everything the spacians have done. Mio doesn't quite know how to counter, and it's so funny Guel left her here without help after previously saying he doesn't trust her diplomacy skills. I doubt he'd be much help tbh, but I guess he trusts her more than he said? Which is, uh, somewhat appreciated? It's the thought that counts.

Sad widow moment. Norea grieving Sophie's death and expressing her fear of death explicitly has been a long time coming. 5lan bearing witness as the floodgates open and she reveals they share this core dread? God this hit so good. You can't help but feel for these kids. Nika continues to watch on in bafflement as the drama unfolds. When is she gonna leave this level of purgatory?? Only Okouchi knows...

OMG, I AM SLAIN. Defeated. This sad husk of a girlboss misses her (ex) wife so much. Normal people would just have a wallet photo or a locket, but she's reduced to watching this goofy ass promo wistfully. I would find it hilarious if it wasn't so sad. It does give her the strength to continue negotiations so that's neat

More importantly, it reminds her of GUND's ideals and the people who've banded together because of that dream; Earth House. She cleverly points out that fulfilling their demands would also mean removing earthians from space, but she won't because they're her partners at GUND-ARM. Her showing them the medical achievements they've already made together was smart and tips the scales in her favor

I keep saying I love Mio but I really do. She's inspired to grasp the presidency for her own goals, rather than just as a tool for Prospera. She found a path of peace in spite of everything against her. It's bittersweet to know, in a kinder world, this would be the end of her struggles. But Prospera won't be satisfied with peace.

This shot was gold. Suletta raiding the fridge like an unwashed raccoon is perfect on so many levels. We finally get unbound Suletta too. Ugh she looks so good 😭

LOOK AT HER!! Babygirl. She looks like such a sad scruffy mutt here. I love it 🥹 Adored Earth House supporting her in her hour of need and giving her a boost with goat milk too. Really cements the rebirth imagery they had in the last episode.

Martin decides to slink home too and reveals everything going on with Nika. This bit from Lilique says it all. There are times when you are left with only so many options. While you may not choose the objectively best path, you can only pick what YOU feel is best. Miorine, Martin, Aerial. Even Delling and Prospera (Perhaps DoF and Shaddiq as well) It fits all the way across the cast.

I didn't expect to get the Shaddiq real name drop from this shakedown, but I'll take it. Kenanji may be a cop with blood on his hands, but he's a keen one. We learned that 'Prince' is a longstanding nickname and it implicates Shaddiq wholly in the terrorist attacks. 'Whoopsie, all my nefarious plans undone by one kid's rambling!'

(I also think the implication was Shaddiq or Jeru Ogul rather, is the 'heir apparent' to Ochs Earth virtue of his dead family. Not entirely certain tbh)

Looks like Guel will be Asticassia bound next episode along with Kenanji. No idea why Kenanji had to tag along but I guess Mio has enough of an escort. Let's hope this detour leads to Suletta using the Schwarzette! Fingers crossed

You saw it here, everybody. Prospera shot first! I'll admit I didn't fully expect her to go this route but it makes sense. I anticipated her gaining Mio support somehow, but she just cut the BS and said let's do this dirty. Controlling Earthian artillery to mask her intentions and provide an excuse is devious and brilliant

Destroying DoF's secret stache of gundams even more so. She really cut Shaddiq's plan for a cold war at the knees and Guel/Kenanji are on track to expose his duplicity entirely. He'll be lucky to not be jailed let alone president of anything. It's amazing that everything works out for Prospera no matter how many risks she takes or gambles made. Lady Luck must love her nonsense as much as the audience

Cut back to Bel and Feng, their date did not end as well as I hoped. While Bel spilled some details about Quiet Zero, Prospera's second hunts her down and interrupts this powow. Can't risk QZ leaking to the corpo spooks after all. We did learn that SAL is not as unified or well intentioned as we might have thought. Their high council was revealed to be backing Ochs Earth of all corps. Feng seemed to be an outlier in yet another shady corpo-controlled faction. I'll miss her, but maybe she somehow escaped this dire situation? I won't hold my breath. RIP Feng, you were a real one!

Elan Prime seems so smug to be right, even if it means their horse in this race has some real competition. He really is a little shit just like 5lan. That MS shot though. Damn evocative. War journalists eat your heart out. It's visual reference too, I believe?

This is the funniest thing he could've said. Shaddiq is malding just like a pathetic incel. Remember when everyone thought he pulled mad game because he's surrounded by women? But the sad reality is he's the most maidenless person in the solar system. The best outcome tbh.

Beyond the laughs, this line speaks so much about how he views Miorine. He views her little better than a prize only he's deserving of; a 'pure' princess to match his crusading prince. He repeatedly disregards her agency, seen in episode 9 when he acts like Suletta controls Mio and here when he blames Guel for what's happening on Earth. He's such a salty little worm.

Finally, we're left with Suletta and Earth House as they react to the chaos. Suletta recognizes instantly Miorine's innocence and her mother's culpability. This was why Aerial sent her away. This was what everyone is trying to shield her from. It was a moment of clarity I hadn't expected, but a very welcome one. Hopefully, this means she'll be spurred into action now that Mio is in very real danger. Schwarzette time? We can dream~

That next episode is incredibly ominous though. End of Hope? Considering they have that promo where GUND-ARM/earth house are the ray of hope... yikes. Let's hope I'm just reading into things and it's not that grim

Edit* additional musings:

A segment was deleted somehow so here it is

Miorine... You know, I've seen people having a bit of schadenfreude at her expense. 'she's so stupid, ofc this happened!' - that flavor of criticism. My counter to this is what could she have realistically done? She was strong-armed into this agreement and manipulated onto Earth. She dared to imagine a peaceful solution based on ideals she slowly grew to believe wholeheartedly. This isn't her fault, much as she thinks otherwise. I can see her willfully remaining on earth to try and correct this atrocity. Girl needs a big hug from her wife ;-;

[sharpth1ng]

do u think randy and billy would actually be friends and like each other if billy wasn’t a murdering misogynistic sociopathic all of the above

I mean honestly no? Randy hates Billy before he knows all of that stuff so I don’t think it would make much of a difference. From what we see in the movie Randy mostly hates Billy because he’s dating Sidney.

Billy barely expresses any aggression towards Randy until the videostore scene, and in that instance Randy has literally just accused him of murder. Like to be fair if I was Billy in that moment and I was innocent I’d be pretty fucking pissed at Randy too, esp if I had just spent the night in jail.

Most of what we see in the interactions between Billy and Randy it’s Randy starting shit tbh, and I’m not saying Billy is blameless, he’s obviously an asshole but from what we see in the movie this isn’t a situation where he’s bullying Randy. He mostly seems to ignore him.

And honestly, one of my pet peeves in this is the way Randy’s misogyny is ignored. He’s honestly got some real incel vibes to me- I know it’s a slasher trope but he’s the mouthpiece for tropes in this movie and he literally says ‘sex equals death’.

He’s also equally insensitive as Billy and Stu after Casey and Steve die. He knows Sid is scared and he still says the “slice and dice” shit and the stuff about the liver in the mailbox. That liver belonged to his now dead female classmate and he’s grinning when he talks about it.

But it’s the stuff he says about Sidney that’s the worst to me: “now that Billy tried to mutilate her do you think Sid would go out with me?” This doesn’t feel like he’s seeing her as her own person with her own agency, he’s not even centering her trauma like he cares about her. 

A good friend would be focused on making sure she’s ok if her boyfriend “just tried to mutilate her”, dating her would not be the priority, but Randy skips over whatever she might be experiencing because he’s more interested in the possibility of getting with her.

The other moment that bothers me most is when he sees Sidney going upstairs with Billy and says “there goes my chance with Sid” as if he only wanted her when she was a virgin, like she’s somehow less desirable if she has sex with Billy.

I think all of this stuff is pretty par-for the course in 1995, like this is Randy being a pretty typical 90s man here. But it’s still misogyny. I still think Randy is an interesting and well written character, but it does feel like his “nice guy” archetype gets taken at face value and there’s not a lot of discussion of the real flaws that he has.

You can still like him btw this is not a callout post, and I think he’s a very entertaining character. I write stuilly, I’m not judging anyone for an attachment to morally questionable characters and I don’t think a character needs to be a good person for you to like them. That said I think it’s also important to recognize the flaws a character does have.

All this is to say that I don’t think Billy is the reason that Billy and Randy don’t get along. If Billy wasn’t a mysoginistic murderer (I’m not going to call him a sociopath as that term usually refers to anti-social personality disorder) but he was still dating Sidney I think Randy would still hate him.

[shxtodxroki]

𝚂𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚍

Summary: Keigo nearly meets his end thanks to a recently freed petty criminal with a revenge streak. Thankfully, you’re there to catch him when he can’t save himself.

Flufftober Day 1 Prompt: “I’ve Got You”

Warnings: Mentions of death/Keigo nearly dies, SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA (specifically chapter 385 I believe), reader flies but it’s not specified whether it’s from their quirk or just from support gear

Pairing: Hawks (Keigo Takami) x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Check out my full Flufftober masterlist here!

This is it. Keigo Takami, former number two pro hero in all of Japan, is going to die, and he’s going to die in the most pathetic way possible.

It had been about a month since he had lost his quirk. A month since the world’s greatest, most feared supervillain snatched his fierce wings from him, barely allowing him to escape with his life. The emotional fall-out that followed the incident was conflicting, but Keigo trucked on out of necessity more than anything else, attempting to figure out what to do with his hero agency now that he couldn’t realistically do any of what made him the number two hero in the first place. He felt useless when he was at the agency, in all honesty, but he also felt free. The weight of the world had been taken off of his shoulders, and for once he felt like he could just be Keigo, live as normal of a life as he could in this world, and come home to you every evening. The light of his life. Despite the sadness, he felt freer than ever before.

He supposed that was ironic now, as he fell through the air to his certain death below. His freedom stripped in a second by a low-level villain with a grudge, a grudge with fatal consequences. 

He hadn’t even recognized the man’s face at first. Keigo rarely remembered the villains he took down, simply thankful that they no longer had the ability to cause more harm to the innocent people of Japan once he had locked them behind bars. But when this man came crashing through the top-story window of his agency right where his office was located with his own set of wings, screaming about how Hawks had gotten him arrested years ago over an attempted robbery turned hostage situation, he was forced to realize just how vulnerable he was now. He had a target on his back from the many recently freed villains who he had once locked up, and no quirk to help him escape or fight back at all. And so, before he could even process what was happening, Keigo was thrown out of the window by the villain and sent flying full-speed to his death, forced to accept his mortality for the second time in only a month. 

There isn’t even time for his life to flash before his eyes. Not that Keigo particularly wanted to remember much of his life in the firdt place, but still. There’s truly only one thing he really cares about, one person he'll miss more than anything when he crashes onto the street and loses his life, one person he wishes he could at least see one last time.

Your face floods Keigo’s mind as he hurdles towards the unforgiving ground at incredible speeds, and that, at least, he’s thankful for. If he’s going to die, then at least he’ll die with the person he loved as the last image in his mind, a beautiful send-off into whatever afterlife lays waiting for him on the other side of death. It truly feels like he can feel your warmth surrounding him as he nears the cold, harsh pavement below, like he can hear your voice calling out his name, pleading with him to come home alive. The thought brings tears to his eyes, wishing he could come home to you, but he’s thankful that you’ll be the last thought on his mind before he meets his end.

Just as Keigo begins to close his eyes, accepting his fate and realizing that he's truly met his end this time and couldn’t escape death after all, your voice suddenly sounds much closer to him, much more real. A harsh gust of wind and the prominent feeling of something wrapping around his body causes Keigo’s eyes to shoot open, and when he sees your face staring back at him, eyes wide with unshed tears as you stare at him with a gaze of pure fear and clutch him tightly in your arms, he can’t tell if he’s already passed on or if somehow, he’s truly seeing you in front of him right now.

“Please Keigo, I need you to look at me. I’ve got you, you’re safe, so please just say something.” He hears your wobbly voice begging, pleading with him. It doesn’t sound far away, doesn’t sound muffled or fuzzy or any other indicator that this isn’t real. It sounds anxious and shaky and real, and finally, Keigo manages to understand that he’s no longer flying to his death, instead safely cradled in your arms as you charge towards the safety of the ground with him. 

Oh.

You saved him. 

Keigo’s mind feels eerily quiet, as if nothing around him was processing in any way, but he can see across your face just how terrified you were, how scared you were that you’d somehow already lost him. Even when he felt lost, you were the one thing he always knew, the one person he could read like the back of his hand. So he pushes himself out of his mind fog just enough to soothe you, just enough to show you that you had saved him and had brought him back from the brink of death.

“Hi, baby. Fancy seeing you here.” He coughs out, his voice a little weak as he attempts to put on the same teasing tone he always uses when trying to ease your mind.

He can see that you want to cry, that you want to yell and chastise him for being so nonchalant about this, for the fact that you could have lost him without a chance to see him even one last time. But he also knows that you can see straight through him as well, that you know how terrified he felt as he was falling, and that you were the only thought on his mind as he was forced to accept his death.

So you let it go for now, opting to comfort him and discuss this matter more seriously in the privacy of your own home later. “You’re just lucky I was here and saw what happened in time to grab you.” You mumble as your feet touch the ground, and the moment you set him down his arms are wrapped around you and his head is buried in your neck. Your fingers quickly entangle themselves in his messy, windswept hair, pressing him closer to you to ease both of your minds, to ground you and show both of you that he’s alive and well and will be coming home with you tonight.

“Thank you for always being here to catch me.” He keeps his tone light but you can feel the relief in his words. You’ve always, always been there to catch him when he’s down, and he couldn’t possibly be more thankful that you managed to be there for him even now, in his absolute worst moment when he truly needed you the most.

“Don’t worry about it.” is all you whisper in response, holding him close for another moment before pulling away enough to look him in the eyes as your hands gently squeeze his arms. “I knew something was wrong the second I saw someone go flying into your agency’s building, so I called in for backup. They should already have the guy who did this taken care of by now.”

Those words ease the last of the worries in Keigo’s mind, now knowing that the man who nearly ended his life is once again in the custody of the heroes, unable to harm any of the other employees at his agency. He quickly decides to allow himself the relief of taking the rest of today off, knowing he couldn't possibly get any work done anyways, so he lets you lead him along the sidewalk with his hand linked in yours.

“Come on, let's get you home. You’ve had a rough day.” You smile softly at him, and though his mind still feels foggy and his stomach still feels scrambled from the fear and adrenaline, you manage to put him at ease for just a moment as he nods and smiles back at you, thankful he has someone who will always be watching over him even when he can’t watch over himself.

Request - Anonymous said: hello! for flufftober, please consider writing something for gojou (jjk), saeyoung (mysme) or keigo (bnha) ):

Anonymous said: hi ~ hope you're doing okay! i saw your flufftober thing and i wanted to request something for keigo, pretty please??? 

A/N: Hi everyone, welcome to Flufftober 2023! :D I’m super excited to kick this event off, fluff has always been my specialty so I’m stoked for this! Honestly I’m just a little worried about the writing I’ve done for this event, since I usually write in bullet-point style but decided to go for a more traditional one-shot style when writing in this event, and I hope it doesn’t sound too awkward or clunky as the month goes on since I’m not used to writing like this! Honestly I’m pretty happy with how this one came out, and I promise most pieces this month won’t start off this sad lol it’s just what came to mind when I read this prompt! My requests are also open right now, so if you have any requests please feel free to send them into my inbox! :D

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