#Magic ban lifted

[hopelessromantic5]

Merthur with King Arthur and pre-Court Sorcerer Merlin.

(Don’t worry though, when this is continued, he will be given his rightful place.

If I have to write it a thousand times, I will see Merlin get his happy ending, dammit.)

“Um. Merlin?”

The manservant had been daydreaming again.

It was honestly getting out of hand.

Two moons had passed since Merlin finally told Arthur about the magic.

It went better than expected.

A great deal better.

He didn’t even really seem surprised. If Merlin could count on himself as a reliable narrator of the story, he would say he saw relief flicker across Arthur’s face before he began asking questions. But Merlin was basically imploding on the inside and terrified that he was about to lose his best friend and his home in one fell swoop, so he might’ve imagined it.

Thankfully, Arthur seemed more anxious for answers than anything. He wanted to understand. After a week of catching him up on the last five years of their lives, magic included, Arthur seemed at peace with it.

A week later was when control began slipping from Merlin’s grasp, ever so slightly. Arthur came to him on a random day in the spring, and nonchalantly said he had some documents he’d like Merlin to read over. Make sure they were presentable for council.

Merlin thought nothing of it, he’d done it countless times thus far, and was secretly looking forward to proof reading speeches for the rest of his life.

You can imagine the shock when he approached the desk and found a repeal of the magic ban. Sitting there, in the sun, in Arthur’s perfect penmanship.

Merlin began weeping.

He could almost hear in his head,

“Don’t be a such a girl, Merlin.”

But it never came.

Instead, the King silently joined him by the desk, and embraced him, for maybe the second time in all of existence.

They hugged like they were trying to meld themselves together.

Arthur had one broad arm wrapped behind Merlin’s neck and the other locking him in by his lower back.

They were two pieces that somehow fit perfectly together.

Merlin hid his, probably unsightly, face in Arthur’s neck and willed the tears to stop themselves falling.

A few heartbeats later Arthur whispered,

“I’m so sorry, Merlin.”

Merlin involuntarily scrunched his eyebrows at that. Yet, he did not let go. He did not want to leave, not yet.

“Why are you apologizing?”

A whisper came back,

“I hate to see you cry.”

Merlin wished on every star in the heavens, that he could’ve seen Arthur, in that moment.

But he would not let go. Not until his King did.

At present, things were moving along very well with the repeal. Especially among the townspeople, who are more than welcoming towards the Kingdom’s new citizens.

However, Merlin found himself with a whole new set of challenges.

Merlin was definitely not staring at Arthur as he shuffled through reports at his desk. Though, the sun was casting the perfect halo on his blonde head. It painted a picture that was wholly ethereal, calming.

When Arthur looked up from his papers suddenly, Merlin went back to his polishing like he never stopped.

Because he didn’t, of course.

That would be inappropriate.

That’s when he heard,

“Um. Merlin?”

The raven boy’s head snapped up from the sword in his lap, and found amusement in his King’s eyes.

“What?” He was skeptical, narrowing his gaze.

“Are you planning on turning my chambers into the Royal Gardens or is this your only idea on how to spruce up the place?”

“What on Earth are you-“ spinning around in his chair, he finally saw it.

Vines wearing tiny purple flowers were slowly crawling their way up the bed-posts; bigger, colorful flowers were beginning to bloom from the cracks in the stone floor.

This is not good.

“Uh, I have to-“ he huffed, placing the sword in his seat and running for the door. “I need to go, sire.”

“Merlin, what are you-“

“I think I’m coming down with something. I’m just gonna go see Gaius about it.” Before he closed the door behind him he yelled “I’ll be back with dinner.”

And then he was gone.

[snackugaki-jestsjapesjokes]

In commemoration of this

Let us remember what Frida can do canonically

gave her the ol' Shikamaru's Kagemane no Jutsu treatment for ninpo which is fitting really since

And what's more ninja than shadow manipulation?

Just y'know, from a 90s weeb standpoint who saw how fucking obsessed U.S media was with ninja in the 80s and 90s, the earlier TMNT could have stood to be MORE ninja. The newer iterations kinda sorta have gotten "more ninja" instead of generic milk chocolate martial arts with a shiny ninja candy coating

[fluffypotatey]

Since I very sincerely doubt Uther managed to kill ALL the Dragonlords (they're knights, not the KGB, and it was a lot easier to disappear back then) imagine them returning to Albion from Rome or whatever to find Cousin Balinor's only son is ruling Camelot and the Druids, is best friends with an immortal knight and one dude that's been raised from the fucking dead, is bonded to THEE oldest dragon they've ever heard of (and who is also nuttier than squirrel stew) and a semi-feral hatchling that barely listens to four (4) people max and hisses/bites/claws at the rest, and oh yeah, is married to a fucking Pendragon.

Family dinners must be a hoot and a half.

oh to be a fly on the wall when they finally make an audience in Camelot. oh to see Merlin's face morph from apprehension to wonder to exhaustion to horror because they're telling Arthur everything they know.

[lovelukz]

hot take I REALLY love uther as a character. he makes for such an interesting antagonist to merlin because of how similar they both are in terms of duty and perspective—both kings in their own right. I really think the show would’ve dwindled without him and anthony head absolutely kills it in this role

The fact that Merlin is clearly uthers favourite servant is so funny to me. Because on one hand, utter dislikes Merlin as a servant, nm a person because all Merlin will ever be to uther is a peasant.

but the fact that he also see how devoted Merlin is to Arthur and honestly lets Merlin get away with a lot of shit. He flips between “ugh I hate Arthur manservant” and “you all should be as loyal as Merlin is, see Merlin, be Merlin”

Not to mention the whole magic thing. I hate uther, but unfortunately his character is really fun to laugh at.

[theroundbartable]

Camelot is hit with an amnesia spell to forget their prince. The sorcerer's goal was to make sure Camelot doesn't have an heir.

So, Arthur wakes up, one day, with no servants serving him ane being treated like a thief who invaded the castle.

Not even Morgana, Gwen, or Merlin recognise him and Merlin is apparently not even a servant anymore. Just a full time physician's apprentice.

Arthur: Merlin, I know you don't remember me. No one does, but I'm Prince Arthur!

Merlin: *suspicious* Camelot doesn't have a prince

Arthur: You have to believe me!!! I don't know what kind of spell would do this, but you have to help me!!! Well, technically, I need Gaius help, but you're my best friend and I can't do this without you!

Merlin: aha. I'm not saying I believe you, but I wouldn't mind helping you overthrow the King

Arthur: No, that's not what I- ... What?

Merlin: is that not what this is about? You wanting to be prince? I'll help you if you want. You can't be as bad as Uther.

Arthur: excuse me?

Merlin: you can't be telling me you like Uther. You just told me you want me to find a spell to make you prince.

Arthur: no! I wouldn't go that far- what would you even know about magic?

Merlin: *grabs Arthur by the chin to glare at him threateningly* Nothing *viciously* Obviously. And if I did, you'd be dead if you learned of it

Arthur: *actually intimidated* I-

Merlin: *turning away* I'll do the dirtywork for you, Arthur, was it? In exchange, I need you to lift the ban on magic

Arthur: you can't seriously ask me that -

Merlin: I'm not asking. That's my condition.

Arthur: ... What on earth is going on?

[mysticwolfshadows]

I see a lot of Arthur making Merlin Court Sorcerer after learning about his magic (and forgiving him for the lies). But I want to see more of... Arthur just not realizing how powerful Merlin is. Like, Arthur finds out, and then realizes that Merlin uses it for chores and dropping tree branches on bandits. He doesn't know about him being a dragonlord, or about Nimueh, or about the prophecy. So Arthur thinks Merlin is just another sorcerer.

So then, when the laws are changed and they're talking about getting a Court Sorcerer, Merlin isn't brought up at all. Merlin doesn't care, either, since he doesn't want a title. So they try one person, and they turn out to be shit, Gaius refuses because god damn he just wants to retire, and there may have been a few assassination attempts during interviews.

So Camelot doesn't have a Court Sorcerer forever, but they have sorcerers everywhere, and Arthur needs advice on magic, so he asks Gaius and Merlin, the only sorcers that he knows. So they teach him about what they know. Like warlocks being rare people with inate magic power. And how being able to cast spells without incantations is extremely difficult and only done by the most powerful of warlocks.

And then, almost a year into not hqving an offical Court Sorcerer, they're preparing for the 1 year celebration feast of the ban lifting, when an assassin shows up out of nowhere. And Merlin, tired and working overtime to get this feast ready, just shoots the assassin a look, and the man crumbles to the ground.

The knights and Arthur are just... so confused. And poke the motionless on the floor. And then look at Merlin, who is still smoothing out fancy linen tablecloths. Andd Arthur just kinda points and asks, "did you...?"

And Merlin just glances over and nods. And Arthur looses it.

"You used magic. Without an incantation. And you never told me you could?!"

Merlin just blinks. "Didn't think I had to?"

That night, at the feast, Arthur anounces Merlin as Court Sorcerer, much to Merlin's horror.

[keitorin3]

Short: It's Merlin

Random Knight: *Witnessed Merlin calling Arthur a prat* Sire, are you just going to just let him talk to you that way? 😤

Arthur: It's Merlin, what can you do. 🤷🏼

Noble: *Upset with Merlin's presence during court and used his now absences to complain* As King you should have more sense then to let some farm boy advise you in such delicate matters of court! 😤

Arthur: It's Merlin. He who takes care of the castle servants, who is the apprentice physician that sees to the people downtown off duty and who is well acquainted with the merchants by name. That Merlin. 🤨

Noble: ...

Arthur: Any other questions? Good, let's see about lunch. Someone call Merlin back from town, he knows how I like my sandwiches made. 🍞🥪

Princess: *Trying to be seductive and pretty* I hear your looking for a Queen? 😉

Arthur: *Not interested and wishing to strangle a court elder* Apparently... 😒

Princess: I could be your Queen~ *Tries to touch his arms sensually*😘👑

Arthur: *Disgusted and Panics* 😬 Sadly you don't meet my requirements.

Princess: Well, what are your requirements? I'm sure I can more then meet them~😘

Arthur: Black hair, large ears, calls me a prat and male.

Princess: *Flabbergasted*

Arthur: *runs*

Knight on the side: It's Merlin. Just so you know.

Gwaine: So is anyone gonna tell him or should I?

Leon: It's been over a Decade and sadly the King has yet to admit it.

Percival: It's just Merlin. The guy doesn't even hides how devoted he is to Arthur.

Leon: Unfortunate really. Arthur was never able to place a label on what he felt for Merlin. Anything that boy does is instantly just categorised as "Merlin".

Gwaine: He gets his own category? Where do we go under.

Leon: "Merlin's Knights" apparently. He said as much while drunk and wistfully talked about retiring into the countryside and buy a farm where he and Merlin can own a cow and some chickens. He especially wanted the chickens.

Gwaine: *Laughs*

Percival: Damn, he's got it bad. And I can't even deny it. We basically did come together thanks to Merlin. But why chickens?

Leon: Said it was a engagement present for Merlin.

Percival: ...

Gwaine: ... Called it.

Knight: *Sees magic near Merlin* Sorcerer! *Arrests him and goes to the King*

Arthur: What is this?

Knight: Sire! I witnessed this servant doing Sorcery! *Points to Merlin*

Arthur: It's Merlin.

Knight: Yes Sire. He was doing magic.

Merlin: Arthur I can explain-

Arthur: *Raises his hand up to pause his words* You sure of this?

Knight: *Says smugly* Yes Sire!

Arthur: Right then. *Proceeds to go to his desk and picks up something before signing them with his seal*

Arthur: Hand this to Geoffrey, from henceforth the Magic Ban has been lifted.

Knight: WHAT!? 😱

Merlin: WHAT!? 🤯

Knight: B-but- my King?! WHY!?

Arthur: *Casually shrugs* It's Merlin.

[justaz]

need arthur repealing the magic ban bc its the Right Thing To Do and merlin is ecstatic bc finally finally he can be himself and tell arthur the truth. he can stop lying and hiding!! and the the ban is repealed and magic is free and theres a feast held in celebration and merlin lugs arthur to his chambers since the king had a bit too much wine and the night is warm and golden and steeped with happiness. merlin lays arthur down in bed and arthur looks up at him with half-lidded eyes, glazed over and warm and filled with love, and he says some sappy shit about merlin being a good friend and how loyal he is.

merlin isnt sure why his words make a stone settle in his stomach but he brushes it off and goes to bed, telling himself that he’ll tell arthur everything in the morning. then morning comes around and merlin sits at the table while arthur is eating breakfast and opens his mouth to tell him when his throat closes up and no words escape him. arthur is confused but merlin distracts him by insulting him and postpones the conversation. he’s been hiding for years, maybe he just needs to take it slow, take baby steps, let his mind and body get used to the idea of being free first.

merlin waits another week and a half before trying again. same result. the words wont come out and he’s choking on this secret he thought he could fess up to now and it takes him so long to realize he’s terrified. he isn’t sure why bc helloooo the ban is lifted!! he won’t be put to death!! what’s the problem?? he had an easier time confessing to sorcery to uther when such a thing was still punishable by death. why is it so hard to tell his best friend the truth when he won’t be punished for it??

answer: telling arthur the truth would mean telling him how merlin has lied for years and how arthur has never truly known the man he calls his friend. arthur will be hurt and angry and he’ll feel betrayed and that is something merlin has seen time and time again and he has fought so hard to prevent yet here he is about to put the same expression on his face. he’s about to break arthur’s heart once more. he can’t do it. he has to. he’ll hurt him. it gets worse the longer merlin takes. arthur will hate him. oh gods arthur will hate him.

[papysanzonew]

Guess who regretted lifting the ban on magic…………

My other Merlin art

[thedollopheadofcamelot]

Ah I rambled a bit in the tags but

I think some of Arthur’s tragic flaws are:

His need to have faith in people (Uther, Morgana, Gwen, Agravaine, Merlin, etc.)

His loyalty in others (believing the loyalty mutual)

And he always relied on others morally (especially looking to Merlin and others to make the right decision) rather than believing in himself and deciding for himself what he should believe/how he should act (and this is definitely part of his fatal flaw as a king) (and his relationship to magic was always fluid- he could never fully decide for himself whether it was truly good/evil/neutral (part of that was due to his conditioning and his upbringing))

Good luck on your presentation!

(And you can present what you want to present

I’m just rambling about some of my opinions and like my quick analysis of the series/Arthur) (Trust your instincts/your concept is good)

Im doing a tragic hero presentation for english about arthur pendragon and for his tragic flaw I'm think of doing like. his loyalty to uther. how he sort of did things based on what he thought his father wanted regarding magic and that ultimately led to camlann + his death. but I feel like that might not make sense. so I need assistance...

[resu-w-ana]

Merlin noticed it soon after the magic ban was lifted.

Every time someone used magic around Arthur, the king flinched.

Really, Merlin wasn't expecting Arthur to embrace all magic users with love and trust. He really shouldn't do something stupid like that.

He wasn't sure if Arthur knew about his own reaction or not. It hurt nonetheless.

Constant paranoia and perspective to be burned alive took the best of his desire to show people his magical talents. But the freedom was intoxicating, and whatever Arthur was afraid of magic or not, he would never took it's freedom again.

He had enough work as newly appointed Court Sorcerer to not let his magic idle. The knight and Gwen were here to enjoy pretty tricks too.

So Merlin reduced his magic around the king to doing only necessary things.

Making Arthur comfortable were more important than Merlin's desire to enjoy the beauty of magic with his king.

But the problem accrued from where he least expected.

«Why won't you use magic?»

«I- Ehm, It's possible to do without magic just as easy.»

«I saw you moving dinner plate because you were to lazy to stretch yesterday.»

«I thought I was alone! How do you even know that? Were you spying on me?»

«Oh, come on, Merlin. As if you are that interesting. Doors were open, I was just passing by.»

Even if doors were open, Arthur couldn't accidentally catch him, considering the fact, that there was only one way to Merlin's tower.

Arthur's weird explanation aside, the crisis was averted.

Or so Merlin thought. Because Arthur hadn't stopped.

Every time Merlin did something remotely hard by his hand, Arthur asked the same question: «why won't you use magic?»

Now Merlin was the one running out of weird explanations.

He had no desire to explain his reasoning to Arthur, nor asking Arthur for something he clearly wasn't comfortable with.

Merlin even paid attention to king behaviour around magic more precisely, in case it had changed. But no, the flinching was still there.

Contradicting his own reaction, Arthur cornered him with more determination them ever before.

«So tell me, why knights have no idea about yours so called "proper use of magic".»

«Well... They do know very little about proper use of anything. Especially Gwaine.»

«Yeah, Gwaine, who's apple your turned from green to red because he wished for another variety.»

«I-, Merlin started, as Arthur continued:

«Or should I mention fire figures you do for Leon constantly? The story about Lance's and Gwen's dinner table? Gaius' flying potions?"

Merlin felt guilt creeping onto him.

«Do I need to continue? Because I'm cer–»

«No! No! I got your point!»

«So?»

«So...»

«Explain yourself.»

When Merlin still hesitated, Arthur decided to use lethal weapon: «you promised no more secrets.»

Merlin deflated. «It's not a secret.»

«Then tell me.»

«I've noticed you've tensed whatever magic was around. Decided to spare you the trouble.»

«Oh.»

Suddenly, Arthur wasn't angry anymore. He looked sad and... Guilty?

«It's okay» and «I'm sorry» they said at the same time, than stared at each other.

«You have nothing to be sorry for!» Merlin argued.

«It's not nothing and it's not okay!» Arthur replied.

«That's why I didn't want to tell you! Now you feel like you're doing something wrong or not enough or whatever!»

«Well, that's because I do!»

«No, you're not!»

Arthur sighed. «Look, Merlin... You're not wrong, magic does make me nervous. For all my life, every time someone used it, it was with intention to hurt me.»

He stopped, thinking about his next words. «You are an exception. Yours feel safe.»

«Safe?»

«I don't know how to describe it. It feels warm and... safe. I like it. And I like watching you do magic, too.»

«Oh.»

«Yeah.»

«I'm sorry.»

Arthur smiled. «You can repent your crimes by stopping hiding your magic from me,» he said in playfully serious tone.

Merlin smirked. «Of corse, sire. What would you like to watch now?»

[starrieisdelusional]

yk merlin’s ending got me thinking, ik destiny says arthur will bring camelot’s golden age and all, and that arthur is camelot’s once and future king, but the show ends, with gwen on the throne.

Gwen is reigns longer than arthur and she’s probably the one who brings camelot’s golden age. Whether the magic ban got lifted, we don’t know.

So like i think gwen should have been the prophesied one and the creatures should have praised the ground gwen steps on not arthur lmaoo

++ the fact that she is a peasant, just how arthur is originally a peasant in the legends, but yes arthur also contributed to crowning her, but i still think gwen should be praised more

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Sympathy for the spammer

Catch me in Miami! I'll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables on Jan 22 at 8PM.

In any scam, any con, any hustle, the big winners are the people who supply the scammers – not the scammers themselves. The kids selling dope on the corner are making less than minimum wage, while the respectable crime-bosses who own the labs clean up. Desperate "retail investors" who buy shitcoins from Superbowl ads get skinned, while the MBA bros who issue the coins make millions (in real dollars, not crypto).

It's ever been thus. The California gold rush was a con, and nearly everyone who went west went broke. Famously, the only reliable way to cash out on the gold rush was to sell "picks and shovels" to the credulous, doomed and desperate. That's how Leland Stanford made his fortune, which he funneled into eugenics programs (and founding a university):

https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/malcolm-harris/palo-alto/9780316592031/

That means that the people who try to con you are almost always getting conned themselves. Think of Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) scams. My forthcoming novel The Bezzle opens with a baroque and improbable fast-food Ponzi in the town of Avalon on the island of Catalina, founded by the chicle monopolist William Wrigley Jr:

http://thebezzle.org

Wrigley found fast food declasse and banned it from the island, a rule that persists to this day. In The Bezzle, the forensic detective Martin Hench uncovers The Fry Guys, an MLM that flash-freezes contraband burgers and fries smuggled on-island from the mainland and sells them to islanders though an "affiliate marketing" scheme that is really about recruiting other affiliate markets to sell under you. As with every MLM, the value of the burgers and fries sold is dwarfed by the gigantic edifice of finance fraud built around it, with "points" being bought and sold for real cash, which is snaffled up and sucked out of the island by a greedy mainlander who is behind the scheme.

A "bezzle" is John Kenneth Galbraith's term for "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it." In every scam, there's a period where everyone feels richer – but only the scammers are actually cleaning up. The wealth of the marks is illusory, but the longer the scammer can preserve the illusion, the more real money the marks will pump into the system.

MLMs are particularly ugly, because they target people who are shut out of economic opportunity – women, people of color, working people. These people necessarily rely on social ties for survival, looking after each others' kids, loaning each other money they can't afford, sharing what little they have when others have nothing.

It's this social cohesion that MLMs weaponize. Crypto "entrepreneurs" are encouraged to suck in their friends and family by telling them that they're "building Black wealth." Working women are exhorted to suck in their bffs by appealing to their sisterhood and the chance for "women to lift each other up."

The "sales people" trying to get you to buy crypto or leggings or supplements are engaged in predatory conduct that will make you financially and socially worse off, wrecking their communities' finances and shattering the mutual aid survival networks they rely on. But they're not getting rich on this – they're also being scammed:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4686468

This really hit home for me in the mid-2000s, when I was still editing Boing Boing. We had a submission form where our readers could submit links for us to look at for inclusion on the blog, and it was overwhelmed by spam. We'd add all kinds of antispam to it, and still, we'd get floods of hundreds or even thousands of spam submissions to it.

One night, I was lying in my bed in London and watching these spams roll in. They were all for small businesses in the rustbelt, handyman services, lawn-care, odd jobs, that kind of thing. They were 10 million miles from the kind of thing we'd ever post about on Boing Boing. They were coming in so thickly that I literally couldn't finish downloading my email – the POP session was dropping before I could get all the mail in the spool. I had to ssh into my mail server and delete them by hand. It was maddening.

Frustrated and furious, I started calling the phone numbers associated with these small businesses, demanding an explanation. I assumed that they'd hired some kind of sleazy marketing service and I wanted to know who it was so I could give them a piece of my mind.

But what I discovered when I got through was much weirder. These people had all been laid off from factories that were shuttering due to globalization. As part of their termination packages, their bosses had offered them "retraining" via "courses" in founding their own businesses.

The "courses" were the precursors to the current era's rise-and-grind hustle-culture scams (again, the only people getting rich from that stuff are the people selling the courses – the "students" finish the course poorer). They promised these laid-off workers, who'd given their lives to their former employers before being discarded, that they just needed to pull themselves up by their own boostraps:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/10/declaration-of-interdependence/#solidarity-forever

After all, we had the internet now! There were so many new opportunities to be your own boss! The course came with a dreadful build-your-own-website service, complete with an overpriced domain sales portal, and a single form for submitting your new business to "thousands of search engines."

This was nearly 20 years ago, but even then, there was really only one search engine that mattered: Google. The "thousands of search engines" the scammers promised to submit these desperate peoples' websites to were just submission forms for directories, indexes, blogs, and mailing lists. The number of directories, indexes, blogs and mailing lists that would publish their submissions was either "zero" or "nearly zero." There was certainly no possibility that anyone at Boing Boing would ever press the wrong key and accidentally write a 500-word blog post about a leaf-raking service in a collapsing deindustrialized exurb in Kentucky or Ohio.

The people who were drowning me in spam weren't the scammers – they were the scammees.

But that's only half the story. Years later, I discovered how our submission form was getting included in this get-rich-quick's mass-submission system. It was a MLM! Coders in the former Soviet Union were getting work via darknet websites that promised them relative pittances for every submission form they reverse-engineered and submitted. The smart coders didn't crack the forms directly – they recruited other, less business-savvy coders to do that for them, and then often as not, ripped them off.

The scam economy runs on this kind of indirection, where scammees are turned into scammers, who flood useful and productive and nice spaces with useless dross that doesn't even make them any money. Take the submission queue at Clarkesworld, the great online science fiction magazine, which famously had to close after it was flooded with thousands of junk submission "written" by LLMs:

https://www.npr.org/2023/02/24/1159286436/ai-chatbot-chatgpt-magazine-clarkesworld-artificial-intelligence

There was a zero percent chance that Neil Clarke would accidentally accept one of these submissions. They were uniformly terrible. The people submitting these "stories" weren't frustrated sf writers who'd discovered a "life hack" that let them turn out more brilliant prose at scale.

They were scammers who'd been scammed into thinking that AIs were the key to a life of passive income, a 4-Hour Work-Week powered by an AI-based self-licking ice-cream cone:

https://pod.link/1651876897/episode/995c8a778ede17d2d7cff393e5203157

This is absolutely classic passive-income brainworms thinking. "I have a bot that can turn out plausible sentences. I will locate places where sentences can be exchanged for money, aim my bot at it, sit back, and count my winnings." It's MBA logic on meth: find a thing people pay for, then, without bothering to understand why they pay for that thing, find a way to generate something like it at scale and bombard them with it.

Con artists start by conning themselves, with the idea that "you can't con an honest man." But the factor that predicts whether someone is connable isn't their honesty – it's their desperation. The kid selling drugs on the corner, the mom desperately DMing her high-school friends to sell them leggings, the cousin who insists that you get in on their shitcoin – they're all doing it because the system is rigged against them, and getting worse every day.

These people reason – correctly – that all the people getting really rich are scamming. If Amazon can make $38b/year selling "ads" that push worse products that cost more to the top of their search results, why should the mere fact that an "opportunity" is obviously predatory and fraudulent disqualify it?

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/29/aethelred-the-unready/#not-one-penny-for-tribute

The quest for passive income is really the quest for a "greater fool," the economist's term for the person who relieves you of the useless crap you just overpaid for. It rots the mind, atomizes communities, shatters solidarity and breeds cynicism:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

The rise and rise of botshit cannot be separated from this phenomenon. The botshit in our search-results, our social media feeds, and our in-boxes isn't making money for the enshittifiers who send it – rather, they are being hustled by someone who's selling them the "picks and shovels" for the AI gold rush:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy

That's the true cost of all the automation-driven unemployment criti-hype: while we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

The manic "entrepreneurs" who've been stampeded into panic by the (correct) perception that the economy is a game of musical chairs where the number of chairs is decreasing at breakneck speed are easy marks for the Leland Stanfords of AI, who are creating generational wealth for themselves by promising that their bots will automate away all the tedious work that goes into creating value. Expect a lot more Amazon Marketplace products called "I'm sorry, I cannot fulfil this request as it goes against OpenAI use policy":

https://www.theverge.com/2024/1/12/24036156/openai-policy-amazon-ai-listings

No one's going to buy these products, but the AI picks-and-shovels people will still reap a fortune from the attempt. And because history repeats itself, these newly minted billionaires are continuing Leland Stanford's love affair with eugenics:

https://www.truthdig.com/dig-series/eugenics/

The fact that AI spam doesn't pay is important to the fortunes of AI companies. Most high-value AI applications are very risk-intolerant (self-driving cars, radiology analysis, etc). An AI tool might help a human perform these tasks more accurately – by warning them of things that they've missed – but that's not how AI will turn a profit. There's no market for AI that makes your workers cost more but makes them better at their jobs:

https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/

Plenty of people think that spam might be the elusive high-value, low-risk AI application. But that's just not true. The point of AI spam is to get clicks from people who are looking for better content. It's SEO. No one reads 2000 words of algorithm-pleasing LLM garbage over an omelette recipe and then subscribes to that site's feed.

And the omelette recipe generates pennies for the spammer that posted it. They are doing massive volume in order to make those pennies into dollars. You don't make money by posting one spam. If every spammer had to pay the actual recovery costs (energy, chillers, capital amortization, wages) for their query, every AI spam would lose (lots of) money.

Hustle culture and passive income are about turning other peoples' dollars into your dimes. It is a negative-sum activity, a net drain on society. Behind every seemingly successful "passive income" is a con artist who's getting rich by promising – but not delivering – that elusive passive income, and then blaming the victims for not hustling hard enough:

https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/blog/2023/12/blueprint-trouble

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[amariram]

Merlin hadn't thought twice about following him.

He had found him near the lake, rinsing his face with fresh water. He approached slowly, then clasped his hands to his chest and rested one shoulder on the trunk of a tree.

"Unfortunately, idiocy cannot be eliminated with a little water, otherwise at this time you would be healed".

Arthur didn't even turn around. He had heard it coming, obviously.

"Do you speak from personal experience?"

Merlin snorted, smiling. He slowly approached the shore of the lake and sat down next to Arthur.

"You've been pretty quiet around the fire."

Arthur did not answer, unsure of what to say.

"Yet you know that thinking too much hurts you."

This time it was Arthur who snorted, hitting him with the shoulder to make him lose his balance.

"So?" urged Merlin after a moment's silence. "What's the problem?"

Arthur smiled without amusement. What was the problem? Good question. He didn't know that either.

"Does it have anything to do with my magic?"

It took Arthur a moment longer to understand that sentence. He turned to Merlin, his brow frowning.

"What?"

Merlin shrugged, a little uncomfortable.

"It's... It's been a while since I've noticed that... I don't know, you seem a bit tense when we talk about it and-"

"Merlin," Arthur interrupted him in a bored tone. "I have no problem with magic. Do I have to remind you that I lifted the ban and that we have been working with druids and Catha for almost a year to make Camelot a safe place for everyone?"

Merlin nodded absentmindedly. Then, keeping his gaze down on his hands, he murmured, "But I didn't ask you if you have second thoughts about magic, Arthur." He said in a subdued tone. "I asked you if you have any problems with my magic."

A surreal silence fell.

Merlin turned to look at Arthur and found him staring at him with confused eyes. "Why should I have trouble with your magic?"

"You tell me"

Arthur shook his head, exasperated.

"Well, if it’s not that what then? Do you think I haven't noticed that every time I talk about some... past adventures you react strangely? And don't even make me start about how you act with Lancel-"

Arthur rolled his eyes with a bored verse.

"This is exactly what I am talking about," Merlin exclaimed, waving his hand to emphasize Arthur's reaction. "What's your deal with Lancelot?"

Arthur gnashed his teeth. Lancelot here, Lancelot there. There was no talk of anything else.

"I have nothing against your precious Lancelot, don't worry." Arthur realized he looked petulant but at that moment he really didn't care.

Merlin frowned, confused. "My precious Lancelot? Arthur are you feeling good?"

And that was the height for Arthur.

- My Destiny, My King, My Love on ao3

credit for the art to @f-iddery

[theroundbartable]

I sort of want a fanfic in which Merlin keeps his magic secret, never planning to ever reveal it.

Morgana is court sorceress, magic is legal, the golden age is thriving...

Sometimes Arthur will come to him and ask him to research some magical things and Merlin gives him all the information he needs, except that he's the most powerful sorcerer in the world. Arthur will complain to him about Morgana, question whether his decision to lift the ban was right, and Merlin supports it all.

The druids, no longer living in fear, still pay him respect, but they no longer talk to him. Because he's still Arthur's protector and it's good that no one knows.

"I kept lying to you." Merlin thinks as he watches Arthur sign yet another law for magic users. "So now, I don't deserve to live my truth."

And it is only after this that Merlin's magic is finally revealed.

[thavron]

So I think I've cracked this moment.

So this moment has bothered me. I've seen several people say this is Crowley breaking up with Aziraphale, but I think it has a different meaning. I think he's saying, "I understand."

Hear me out.

It was actually listening to the song Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy that caused me to have a little epiphany. I love how it's juxtaposed over Crowley rushing back to Aziraphale, indicating that he is the Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy, but there is more to it.

That song was released in 1976, which is a time when being gay or being queer of any kind was deeply frowned upon. Though laws in the UK banning same sex relationships had been lifted by this time, for consenting adults over the age of 21. Freddie explicitly coming out at this time was something that could have ended his career. Freddie danced with the media on this one, hinted but was never forthright and kept his romantic life largely under wraps. This is something that queer people did in general and had to do well into the 90s. They flirted in code, they romanced behind closed doors. They kept their love out of sight.

Much like our Ineffable Husbands.

Editing to add- that the reason this triggered something for me, is that despite the secrecy, Freddie Mercury got up on stage and sang a song about a man taking another man out on a date at the Ritz. Everyone knew. Just no one knew knew. And it wasn't enough to end his career. Much like our Ineffable Husbands. Everyone knows, including them. Just no one says a thing about it.

Which brings me back to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.

This song is about one magical night. A couple meet, fall in love, feel the magic of their romance, and then as the sun comes up they go home. It is something like a dream that has to be let go with the harsh light of day. But there is hope, because sometimes they can hear the echo of the nightingale. A promise perhaps to meet again.

So I think it is widely assumed that there is more to the 1941 flashback. I tend to concur. I think we will see the origin of why this song is important to them. I suspect the song is about them. They have one magical night, where they are both brave and express their love for each other. But then the sun comes up and they realise that they have to go back to their lives. I think they will acknowledge that the incident with the zombies was a close call, and they need to cool off and stay away from each other. Slow down.

So 1967 is the first time they have seen each other since. They both know how they feel, they're just waiting for the right time. They shouldn't have met at all, except Aziraphale wants to give Crowley the holy water. I think that explains the awkwardness but also their softness toward each other. It's a meeting of lovers, but the time isn't right just yet. No nightingales are singing. That's what Aziraphale means by "You go too fast for me." Not yet, it's too soon. We're still under suspicion.

So the end of season one, the world is not over and our ineffable husbands are free. What do they do? They go for date at the Ritz. You can not tell me this is not a date. Sorry, don't believe you. "The Ritz is the most romantic hotel in the world." It's like their whole selling point. It's why it pops up in the lyrics of Berkley Square, and also in the lyrics of Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy. It's the place where magic happens. And for me, the playing of the song, and the reference from God herself, it's saying the time is right. They can finally be together again. This is their moment.

So Season Two. I've read reviews of season two where people liken it to fanfiction. Neil calls it is a bridge season. I think it's the dream. Not actually a dream, I don't think Neil is that unoriginal. But in the song they liken that one magical night to a dream. It's a fantasy that they get to live until the sun comes up. They get to live their dream for four years. They are together and they are in love but they are still living in secret. They still don't acknowledge it. They're still holding back. One of the themes in this series is timing is everything. Maggie and Nina's relationship doesn't work because timing. The magic trick worked the time it mattered. Timing is important, and the ineffable husbands are bad at it. They should have thrown themselves into this but they were too cautious and they missed their chance.

I think this conversation is when Crowley realises. Not that he is love with Aziraphale, that was established in 1941. But that everyone knows anyway. There is no reason to hide. No one cares that they're an item. Aziraphale has a similar epiphany after his chat with Shax. So they both decide to move the relationship along, but damn do they have bad timing.

Now I am as confused and heart broken as anyone about the final fifteen. And I am certain that there is something that we are not seeing, a trick that we've missed. There are six minutes unaccounted for. Neil says its a continuity error, but he's demon, he lies.

So here is what I think, and why this line "that's the point, no nightingales" is important. At some point during that conversation Crowley catches on. Whether they have a moment of stopped time, or the fact that Aziraphale is acting so utterly unhinged, there is something that happens that we don't see and it clues him in. He is hurt and angry yes, but he understands. What he is understanding is that the dawn came stealing up, and that the interlude is over. The nightingales stopped singing, and they have to go back to work. He gets it and that's how he lets Aziraphale know.

"You're an idiot, we could have been us." He doesn't like the plan, whatever it is. He thinks running would have been preferable, but he is resigned to it.

Then that kiss. One last goodbye just in case the world ends? Desperate longing and years of pent up frustration? I don't think the trick is here. I think this is misdirection. We're all looking at the kiss, we missed the coded message that came right before. I think "No nightingales" may also suggest that this isn't the kiss. The romantic kiss will come later, when the nightingales sing again. And they will, of that I'm certain now.

The song playing in the car, a message from Aziraphale or from the Bentley reminding him to have hope. Two things we know about Crowley. He is an optimist. He loves to rescue his angel. We also know that he is the trusted stooge with the steady hand. Aziraphale will perform the theatrics, he will do the rest. The fact that he waited and didn't just storm off like he did when he was rejected in series 1 tells Aziraphale that he is still here. He's still in this.

That's my interpretation anyway.