#MY BABIES AND FOREVER MY SONS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mediumgayitalian · 9 months ago

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i keep seeing sad posts talking about "may castellan making sandwiches every day waiting in hopes that her son will return" and.

guys.

there is no hope for may castellan. she is not waiting at the door with lunch and a tentative smile, waiting for him to come home even though he didn't yesterday, or yesterday, or yesterday, or yesterday. "in hopes" implies that there will come a day when that hope fades. in hopes implies she knows the odds are bad. in hopes implies reality will eventually catch up to her.

there is no hope for may castellan.

she is not waiting in hopes for her son to return. she is preparing, day after day after day (after day after day after day after day after) for the inevitability that luke will return to her. she does not know he is dead. she does not understand he is gone. she does not realize that time has passed; to her luke is nine, still. to her she is still placidly awaiting to return of a fourth grader. luke is not nineteen and betraying his camp. he is not twenty and housing a titan. he is not twenty one and watching his friends get slaughtered in an arena, twenty-two and forcing his sister to hold up the sky, twenty three and realizing, soul shuddering in his chest, that he has made a mistake he can never take back, that he can never undo what he has done.

luke castellan to his mother is a child who has not yet lost all his baby teeth. the cookies she makes for him are soft, because she remembers that. he still leaves the crust behind on his sandwiches. he has scrapes on his elbows and dirt on his nose. he flinches before he hugs her. he spends a lot of time outside, but he comes home before dark.

may castellan's tragedy is not that she is penelope waiting for odysseus to one day return and we know that he will not. may castellan's tragedy is that she does not understand her hero has left at all. may castellan's tragedy is that she will never understand, and she will continue to age, and continue to deteriorate, and one day she will die and she will spend eternity walking the dying poplar fields, whittled down to the memory of something missing from her.

there is no hope for may castellan.

#the tragedy of the broken mother will never stop wrenching the heart from my chest.#to remember that for a moment sally was may #but unlike may she still had the Sight #and she knew that her son may not come back.#sally waiting for months at the window swallowing the grief that he may be gone forever #and may never gets that.#her broken Sight means that she does not see he is gone.#and sometimes i wonder if sally thought of her. on quieter nights. or nights when it rained.#wondering if this woman across the country was also by the window #watching the lightning #and smelling the lemon cleaner from the room she just cleaned #and holding her son's hoodie to her chest #only at least sally is holding a hoodie that still fits her baby #even if he is a corpse somewhere.#anyways.#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #luke castellan #may castellan #my writing

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valletydarwin · 14 days ago

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Please I would like to know, I think your writing and your fanfics on AO3 are wonderful!

— Mister Void, at your pleasure.🖤🗝

(Notice: Mister Void was asking about my AU and/or headcanons, but for some reason Tumblr bugged and it didn't appear)

OH YES PLEASE LET ME!!!😍🤩No one ever wanted to hear about it🥲

I feel like:

I think that's why she's one of my strongest Kins- BUUuuuut going back

It's not exactly an AU, since I didn't write anything anywhere, I just have it all stored in the back of my brain.It's more like a preference and a mix of several Headcanons and concepts that I took from some fanfics I read on AO3.

Like for example, the Batfam being absolute cryptids and scaring the shit out of everyone else in the hero community. For this trope, I usually like to think of the Batfam as having managed to build functional, realistic and beautiful wings.

Oh yeah, and let's not forget the classic bird language. Oh oh and the feline like claws and pads on the gloves too!Also, I like to think that Billy joined the family like, half a week after being invited to the League, seriously, he may be magical and a little more mature, but he's still a kid, and the Bats only need one slip-up from him to put the pieces together.

I also like to think that this Billy doesn't have the others from Shazamily, yet, because I want him, the way he is, to look at this bunch of orphaned street kids(and his lost twin sister of course), and simply give a Batman, taking them to the mansion just to shock everyone that the first one(technically second because of the whole Park Row's children and Jason thing) to start having Bruce's addiction to adoption was not Dick but Billy.

And even though I haven't put this in either of the two fanfics I've written so far, I'd like Bruce's parents(and Alfred) and Clark's parents to meet before the two were even born yet, and for them to grow up as brothers, and for the Kent farm to be an escape from Gotham's overwhelming elite and the spotlight for Bruce.

I want a young, stubborn Bruce to take a young, scared Clark around the farm and find Clark's ship, I want them to find out sooner what Clark is, who he was, his birth name, I want this duo of kids to be the ones to find out that Diana Prince is Wonder Woman and for her to take them as apprentices (References to an AO3 fic called Shadow Demon, it's really good, oh and I'm also getting a little bit of Alternative Heroes, Same Hearts).

I want a good relationship and communication between the Batfam, make Alfred forcefully shove an angry teenage Bruce into a therapy room, and of course, the training with the monks, and make him be very grateful for that now that he has to take care of other traumatized and vengeful little humans.

I want Jason to be caught sooner, that he was trying to steal Batman's tires to buy medicine for his mother, I want Bruce to take this child and feed him and promise to help in the best way possible, I want Bruce to take him to the moldy apartment that the boy calls home, I want him to realize the state of his mother, I want her to have already left, that she took advantage of Jason's departure to be able to get rid of her pain without having to do it in front of him. I want Bruce to comfort a young and hysterical Jason, I want this boy to cry himself to sleep only to wake up wrapped in the softest sheets of his entire life.

I want a Bruce who reveals his identity to Jim before he even considers taking a young, eager Barbara under his wings, okay? I want a responsible Bruce.

And don't make poor Lucius have so much stress.

I want Bruce to notice the little shadow following them (seriously, I think it's cool that Tim managed to do this without getting caught, but not here, Batman, Batwoman [yes, she comes sooner, i want Kate to come visit her cousin and see the shit he's doing and refuse to leave until he includes her] and Robin have wings, with sensors to feel things that normal people don't feel, like changes in the air, or even sensors to smell more specifically.), I want Bruce to notice that the neighbors left, but his son didn't go with them, I want Bruce to pick up this abandoned boy and wrap him in a hug.

I want him to see the daughter of one of the Rougues trying to sabotage her father, I want him to accept the help willingly and try to slowly gain her trust, I want a Bruce who saves Stephanie from her own father, I want a Bruce who couldn't save her mother, I want a Steph who even though she's sad doesn't blame him. I don't want Tim and Steph to date. I want them to be siblings. I want them to be best friends. I want them to be like twins. I want them to be chaos gremilins together!

I want Talia to not be evil, I want her to be essentially kind, I want a Talia who blames herself millions for what she did to Bruce, I want a Talia who looks at this tiny baby in her arms and loves him unconditionally, I want a Talia who can't stand watching the training her father gives to her baby, her son, I want Talia to take a 3-4 year old Damian and take him to Bruce, I want her to get hurt in the escape, I want Bruce to save her, but I also want her to run away, run away far away so that the LoA doesn't get close to her little and adorable Dami, nor her beloved, or the children he took as his. I want them to have a complicated, distant, forbidden, cursed by others, but true and lasting love.

I want the cat and bat game to be between Kate and Selina, I want more lesbian couples!!!Harley and Ivy? Stuning lesbians.

Oh, and the Joker and Jason incident... I want a Jason who feels so loved in a way he's never felt before that he musters up the courage to talk to his father(!), I want him to tell Bruce about Sheila, I want a Bruce who is an unconditionally loving and supportive father who offers to take him to where she is, I want him to warn him about the Joker, I want the bomb to go off with Bruce opening the warehouse doors just in time to just look at his Jaylad and he looks back and neither of them can get any closer.

I don't want a Bruce who kills the Jokerbut I want a Bruce who beats him to the point of paralysis.

I want Clark to be forced to leave the country at top speed to stop Bruce, but not to save the Joker, I want it to be to help his crying brother, to stop him from destroying himself with the clown.

I want that whole thing about or whoever wrote Alfred putting a "Good Soldier" plaque on Jason's grave to go to the fucking hell, I want him to have a proper burial, I want Park Row to mourn the death of one of their own who managed to get out of poverty and still come back to help them, I want Crime Alley to mourn the death of their little bird.

I want Tim to take a lot longer to take up the mantle of Robin, I want a Steph who stays with her no-twin even more, I want a Bruce who after talking to Clark and Diana makes everyone go to therapy, I want Ivy to help Harley recover from that bastard clown, I want Bruce to go see how the two are.

I want Talia to see a revived Jason wandering and take him in, I want her to try to start making amends with Bruce by starting by taking care of his lost boy, I want her to start seeing him as hers too, I want Damian and Jason to be brothers, I want Talia to show the state the Joker is in, I want her to show that it took Clark to get Bruce away from the clown's decrepit body, I want her to show how his family scared the city so much that not only the rougues avoided going out at night, I want Talia to take them both back to Bruce.

I want them to cuddle in a pile of love and affection, I want a Talia still being treated to be in that pile too, I want that even with her away most of the time, the kids see her as a mother.

I want Tim to take up the mantle of Robin with Jason's blessing. And I want Steph to finally come out as Batgirl.

I want a young Cass to be noticed as soon as she sets foot in Gotham, I want it to be during one of Talia's visits, I want my couple to take this girl raised to be a weapon and turn her into a real child, I want everyone in the mansion to learn ASL when she prefers to gesture rather than speak most of the time. I want Steph to hand her over to Batgirl with Barbara's blessing and the two of them to go out together on Cass's first patrol with Tim hot on their heels.

And I want Bruce to find out about the "we are Robin" movement, I want Bruce to take this boy who started a gang under his wing.

I want Bruce to see this city and the heroes who disappeared out of nowhere and came back out of nowhere, I want the trinity to invite Marvel to the League, I want Bruce to discover that the Champion of Magic, Fawcette's main hero, an idol to many (and to Clark, who was very disappointed when he found out that Marvel wasn't Kryptonian), is a homeless child. I want Bruce to gain his trust, I want Bruce to give him a family and promise to find this boy's sister.

I want a Bruce who, after the invasion of Starro, sees this little star in his hands and can't resist his children wanting to keep him (and he himself wanted to too-), I want Jarro to be included in things, I WANT HIM TO HAVE THE LOVE HE DESERVES, OKAYY!?!?!?!

I want the current Justice League to be new, I want Bruce to be the first father and I want no one but Diana, Clark and Billy to know... Oh, and Barry too, since Dick would be best friends with Wally from an early age.

I want a Bruce who doesn't kill, but I also want a Bruce who doesn't force his rules and morals down his children's throats, I want a Bruce who understands that his children are individual beings, I want Bruce to understand that his children can and do have different morals and views.

I want Jon and Damian to be raised like Clark and Bruce were.

I want Clark to see this clone that looks about Tim's age and not think twice about bringing him home. I want Kon and Tim to be Bi best friends.

Oh and Kara!! I want Kara and Babs to be a thing, I want them together!!! I want my third lesbian coupleee!!

I want Kate and Selina, Ivy and Harley to be the cool aunts who take the kids out to cause chaos.

I want Bruce to have less of a Brucie or hooker persona and more of a tired dad thing. Dark circles under his eyes? Oh, Dami couldn't sleep. Hurt? Uh, Dick tried to maneuver the chandelier and would have fallen if I hadn't run to catch him! Am I a mess? The kids started an argument!

And I think that's it for now, I hope I put everything that was in my head.

There are designs for the characters in the AU now

Oh, to add, I've never read any DC comics, okay? Not Marvel either, or anything other than Turma da Monica(in english: Monica's Gang)...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

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