#MAN THIS BECAME REALLY LONG
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#no home#haejoon in college like sorry hangon i have a call to take#my unstable friend is calling me#i have to make sure hes not like in a ditch somewhere#eunyung: yeah i quit my job and became a ranch hand at this farm and i think ive really found myself except my coworkers are cunts#but one of them lets me hit her vape pen which is cool oh but yeah i live in the country now and theres like jackshit to do#so ive gotten really into urban exploration except i think i inhaled spores or something in one my throats been scratchy all week#but i get paid under the table so i dont have health insurance right now but its whatever i got those fancy cough drops for it#haejoon: thats nice. i went for a walk yesterday#i think they go like 3 months without talking until either haejoon goes hey man whats up <- concerned or eunyung sends him a 10 minute long#voice memo about all the shit hes been up to
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A builder who totally understands where X is coming from, collecting all those shinies for Coco, because she also likes shiny things, and has been secretly leaving pretty rocks on Unsuur's porch for weeks now.
#my time#my time at sandrock#sandrock#X#X and Fang#Unsuur#Builder#each of my builders I HC to be a little bit different#Rave loves dancing and is a total extravert - she may be book smart; but doesn't tend to act like it#Zurika likes shiny things and wants to fight. She's not angry; she just really wants to fight.#Sparring; monster fighting; whatever lets her improve those skills.#Rave learned to fight because it became important to know how in Sandrock.#She enjoys sparring now; and takes pride in the skill; but it didn't start that way for Rave.#Zurika learned how to fight because her parents weren't there to stop her anymore#Zurika is a good sport; just as happy to lose a fight as to win one; as long as she can learn something from it#Rave likes relics and books. Zurika likes sparklies and daggers.#Zurika and Rave both like parkour though. Parkour; and Going Fast 🏃♀️🏃♀️#Zurika is plenty smart too - she just doesn't like books that much. She likes listening to stories or lectures; or watching old videos.#Rave has books and diagrams to look back on as needed; and does write some notes. Zurika just Remembers. Everything.#Sidenote; I really like X.#X is awesome 👌 Solid bro; silly little guy; I love the bird. Take some glass; my man. Have a scorpion on the house.#Love his cute relationship with Coco. 'X is on a date' is one of my favorite dialog options of all time. It sent me to outer space.#Unsuur caught me off guard with paint drying. I hadn't really noticed him much before that;#but that was the moment I realized he was gonna be a favorite of mine#Unsuur is the funniest guy in Sandrock; hands down. You just gotta give him a chance; you wouldn't expect it off first impressions.#Ily my dude; keep it weird#I will also be keeping it weird.#mtas#fandom#rambles
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Regarding your cerebrocrustacean headcanons mentioned in the previous ask: they very well could be somewhat canon given how, when asked if Albedo and Dr. Psychobos would be willing to work together, Derrick J. Wyatt responded with "Psychobos seems like a total team up slut, he'll team up with any villain any time" (his words, not mine).
Which he likely meant in the sense of "Psychobos is so power-hungry he'll team up with anyone in order to get ahead", but with your headcanons and the fact he never talks much about his personal life in mind, you could alternatively interpret it as "Psychobos is so desperately lonely he'll accept anyone he has even the slightest similarity with into his clique, even members of a species he's violently xenophobic towards" (probably to cope with/serve as a rebound for his mancrush Azmuth friendzoning him /lh /hj).
Now all of this is making me realize that it was a massive missed opportunity in Omniverse to not have Psychobos' demeanor do a complete 180 around the people he works with compared to everyone else (whether sincere or a thinly-veiled manipulation tactic) if not solely for a few jokes. Especially him acting like an affectionate father figure towards Malware (whether he likes it or not) solely so he can rub it in Azmuth's face that "I'm a FAR more attentive and caring parental figure towards your creation than YOU ever were, and I use the term loosely".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN DJW SAID 'TEAM UP SLUT' HAHAH WHAT!? dear god it's true it's on the wiki what the fuck what the fuck assdfjhghsdlfkgfkl-!
I mean, look at his already canon group; Khyber, allegedly the greatest huntsman in the galaxy, teaming up with Dr Psychobos to make a little watch that can sample (specifically predatory) animals; and Malware, a technology absorbing mutant mechamorph, working with the cybernetically enhanced (also listed as a mutant???) cerebrocrustacean in order to make said watch- if liking the concept of animals and incorporating machines as part of oneself is enough to get into Dr Psychobos' clique well, he's certainly stretched what that means far enough to at least snag two others into his initial team up. Same can't be said for Attea and the incurseans which seems to be more of a sponsor type relationship, and Maltruant commissioned him to repair his body but violated the trade agreement so whether or not Psychobos would do business with the incurseans again, he's already squarely sequestered Maltruant in the outest of out-groups :P
Hah, the 'Dr Psychobos adopting Malware specifically to stick it to Azmuth' bit reminded me of a signing-the-adoption-papers version of the 'I throw my used car batteries in the ocean' thing- something along the lines of; [psychobos voice] "You are the most calamitous individual I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I use the term loosely." [malware voice, threateningly] "I have devoured and absorbed the specs of the Omnitrix." [psychobos signing adoption papers] [malware, experiencing the affects of cerebrocrustacean in-grouping and having no frame of reference on how to deal with it] "What the fuck is happening-"
#ask#anonymous#dr psychobos#malware#malware ben 10#cerebrocrustacean#khyber is mentioned technically but like he's just there for clique demonstration#ben 10#heartbreaking: the worst person you know included you in his in-group and loves and respects you just because you shared one interest#i will draw this it's a visceral image it's just that it's not now because i am exhausted :P#does psychobos having an in-group suddenly make him a good person- no#does psychobos having an in-group that does not care about what species is in it make him a good person- also no#he's a jerk which severe xenophobia and like the encephalonus IV equivalent of like- sigmund freud#but also not freud because freud is a fraud that only became the father of psychology because psychologists around the world disavowed him#but like- an infamous figure which controversial opinions but ultimately- being so well known he is the face of the collective#that collective being cerebrocrustaceans as a whole because god damn it why did dr psychobos have to go for ben 10? for fucking azmuth!?#even assholes have in-groups it's kinda how assholes spread (well they can spread in other ways but that's not relevant to the current topi#i would be nice though if the allegedly greatest huntsman and the chronically unloved mutant experienced cerebrocrustacean in-group respect#khyber would be off-put as a solo one-man show (well there's also zed but he doesn't even gender her right let alone treat her well)#malware would be so inexperienced with interactions even slightly positive he'd kinda mostly be too stunned to do anything but stand silent#dr psychobos as per usual talks and talks as if bouncing back against a wall (because really he might as well be)#but so long as his treatment towards his in-group keeps them around longer (with the bonus of not getting stabbed in the back hopefully)#then far be it from he to complain whenever his fellows come back with their parts of his little pet project
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What app and what pencil do you use :3?
(I send u big hugs and hav a nice day :D♡)
Hehe. (Hugs back. I like hugs. XD) I believe someone else had a similar question before! I made this art then too to demonstrate how I use, Ibis Paint. The free beginner friendly drawing app! (No I'm not sponsored-) And as for the "pens", I usually go for the default brushes. As in the first basic ones you find on the app! ^v^ I've been promoting this idea for years and I'll never get tired of saying it! While fancier equipment IS nice, skills can ultimately outclass tools any day! =D In fact, sometimes limiting yourself can hone your creativity as it forces you to work with what you have and invent new ways of experimenting with materials that are often overlooked! That's how I learned. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -Bubbly💙
#spacebubblearts#asks#thanks for the asks!#and sorry it's so late#I was busy with mother's day and my parent's anniversary#but no cap I use to draw strictly with pens and markers#no erasing and soon enough mistakes became part of the art itself easy as anything#improved my drawing speed too#as for digital art#for years I only had my phone and fingers#I remember making animatics on them like a mad man#and I'm not talking animation memes either#I mean full on song animatics XD that could be minutes long#that took a lot of work#man I miss the motivation#thinking of training myself that way again.#ehem anyway I hope this was a satisfying answer#if youre curious my animatics are still up on YT XD#I made a Glitch Techs one on two player game but a lot of them are really old back when I was just starting online#enjoy!#and have a nice day as well! =3#art#doodle#chibi#mascot#art practice#art discussion#art advice#why do I keep writing them on the tags???#ibis paint
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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NARSH YOU LU ART IS SO TASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have copies saved on my computer to look at and use as inspo and AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!
YOU!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa I LOVE THAT IM SO FLATTERED!!!!!!!! man I was out all day today and did not have service for most of it so then coming home and seeing all the love in the tags was a WONDERFUL surprise aaawwww thanks!!!!!!!!! Saved on your computer,,,, used as inspo,,,,,,, I'll sob and cry forever (LOVINGLY!!!) QuQ
I've been really kind of wanting to go back and redraw an lu thing or two because I have definitely grown SO MUCH as an artist since I made all those (like 4 years ago for some of them!!! CRAZY)
All y'all liking and sharing my stuff is a lot of fun, I see my notifications just tick up and up as one person just goes through liking my entire tag hahahah it's so fun I love it!!!! (Genuinely!!)
#asks#needfantasticstories#i dont have as much of a drive as i used to but sky/ss definitely still is my everything#maybe i draw an angy sky for old times sake heheh#i still have a lot of like. comic ideas in my head for lu that i just never executed#one with like. hyrule getting handed the thunder medallion or whatever it is and just going INSANE with his thunder spell on some enemies#man and that fic i wrote a while ago#i still kind of want to go back and finish it#because as i thought about it it became something different than what it started out#and i liked it better#i just need to sit down and do it#went from like a story that was spread a lil bit too thin#to something hyrule focused#and specifically hyrules like. self worth. in terms of like. hero worthiness#and finding some of that in the space sky left behind#(Possessions of a Tired Man is what its called on ao3)#(i think about it all the time. might go respond to some comments because i received some really long nice ones)#(would love to give maybe an update about what i am/was thinking)
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one thing about me is that i’m an orestes-electra-pylades defender. if you don’t hear them being defended anymore that means i am deceased
#something something about them being linked forever#none of them being redeemable all of them being innocent#about this sister who was refused love all her life and who kept it all inside her to give it to her little brother#who loves him so much that the lines blur and we don't know if she's sister ; mother ; father ; or lover even#because who could love him more than she does ?#about this brother who grew up with nothing but rage#rage towards this man he was given to ; that man ready to sell him into slavery#rage towards his mother who got rid of him#rage even towards this father that he has to kill for despite never having known him#rage towards the gods who set up his own curse and let him suffer for a good long while#and apollo did not tell him that no holy ritual will ever truly wash all the blood from his hands#but despite all this rage has chosen to love#to love this sister that he only knew the name of#and who welcomed him with more warmth than three suns combined#who had more fight in her than him and who urged him to do them justice#that's why he did not really hesitate when he killed clytemnestra#because he had seen his sister - a princess - reduced to rags and is skin on bone#and about this friend who became the definition of devotion#who voluntarily chose to follow his friend whom he knew was damned#chose to share the burden of killing with him#and who followed him on every corner of the earth they went to#and i know those three took such gentle care of each other#i know that electra and pylades both refused to go to sleep while the other tends to orestes having his fits of delirium caused by erinyes#yes their hands are bloody#but it's the same blood that's running through their three hearts attached by a red string#and the red of blood looks a lot like the red of love#electre/oreste#classics
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30: Dawn
he'd stayed up all night for this. seeing the sun - the proper sun - crest the horizon again... it had all been worth it.
#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv miqo'te#final fantasy 14#seeker of the sun#shb spoilers in tags... beware#essentially he. was brought in like. a while after alphinaud but before alisaie#and spent a whole year on the first on his own - no selene no sagra#and since selene is his conduit: with none of his healing magic either.#so without any magic or any knowledge of the local plants#it was like he had been stripped of literally all purpose#which as you can imagine for a man who mostly views himself through the lens of 'how can i help others'#was not great for his mental health!#mostly he just became some sort of lydha lran cryptid of sorts#wandering the fog in old tattered voeburt clothes#waving a rusty old sword around to keep people out of the pixies' home#(since his soul is still owned by selene they couldn't really do anything to him)#which eventually ended with him having some sort of Thing with urianger#BUT. once sagra made it back with selene#and once they talked a lot of stuff out - its a long story -#there was definitely something like. oh. fuck. oh fuck yes this is the reason im here. this was worth it.#to see the relief on everyone's face on the crystarium#we're going thru shb again HEHE i have a lot of thoughts about himmm. my little GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#miqomarch fans how excited are we to almost be done btw???#m: o'nehgi
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU
As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.
This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry
This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.
His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.
He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.
...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.
But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.
It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?
Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.
There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.
Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.
He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.
He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.
As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.
The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.
When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.
All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.
There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.
-----
UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)
But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style
Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)
Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!
#umataro tenma#long post#well that became a novel. sorry lmao#in my mind teiai's evil hell prison in astro boy verse would probably be quite a bit different than regular kaiji#like. fuckin. weapons manufacturing for teiai or something like that. or scary bad danger robots. horrifying concept#Tenma would be a valuable asset to them whether by giving up Atom or by losing in death game hell and being forced to work for em#and if he dies? they can just take atom#get him out of there.#I'm also thinkin of who Teiai would be represented by.....the snakey loan sharks u could easily put skunk in there.#but who is an evil fucked up sadist billionaire. theres probably someone who could be fucked up enough I just dont know offhand#and im allergic to mischaracterizing in AUs lol im not gonna make a slightly bad guy into an evil freakguy. so. Hyoudou is just himself.#if you squint this could be considered an 80s astro boy AU..has a cruise arc & not actually giving atom away#but man. that tenma LEAST of all deserves this fate lmao#do I want to write fic of this? yes. will I? not likely!#I can just smell it dude this would be some crazy fuckoff 100k shit I am not ready brother#also it would just be soooooo so so so so so edgy. I dont really enjoy writing intensely grim stuff w/ little to no respite#also tbh. I am too stupid. LOL. I cannot write clever gambles alas
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thinking about the sannin and abandonment and the past following you wherever you go no matter how hard you try to leave it behind and staying and clinging to whatever you have left until it twists you into something unrecognizable and chases you out and clinging to it even after that while getting worse and worse and watching everything you love die and pushing away whatever you have left and abandoning people who need you because staying is killing you and leaving and leaving also killing you and the worst coping mechanisms known to man and trying so hard not to remember when you were just three kids with a teacher who adored you before everything collapsed in on itself now none of you can stand the sight of each other and the devastation of war and fame gained through clinging to your life and being so defined by survival that you forget to do anything else and people trying to rely on you when you can't even rely on you and dying alone with your regrets and the endless cycle of rebirth and alcoholism
#naruto#naruto shippuden#the legendary sannin#densetsu no sannin#jiraiya#senju tsunade#orochimaru#sarutobi hiruzen#i know jiraiya is. awful but. i do like him when he's not being gross#and there's a Lot going on there. it's just that the grossness is also there a lot#tsunade is so full of issues. like so full of them#also i find it really interesting how jiraiya left and tsunade left and orochimaru stayed#he always had problems too ofc but he became what he became because unlike jiraiya and tsunade he didn't leave#until he had to#how jiraiya and tsunade left for selfish reasons but were ultimately right to do so#how orochimaru stayed and destroyed himself#how sarutobi was the catalyst for so much bc he cared too much in the wrong ways#trusting people you've known for so long and trying so hard to be the man your teacher thought you could be#but never fully realizing the flaws in him or in your comrades or your students or yourself#being given a mantle you didn't ask for bc you offered yourself up as a sacrifice#being placed on a pedestal and being too afraid to step away from it or view yourself outside of it#being a sad tired old man who tried too hard in the wrong ways and not enough in the right ones#dying at the hands of someone you adored but also abandoned in your own right#loyalty and treachery and becoming something new and trying and failing and the consequences of your actions#killing someone you love. loving the person who's killing you. being morned by people who should and one day will hate you#fighting for an ideal that doesn't exist and never existed and never could exist but you can't admit it or else what's the point#living in a world that no longer remembers what a childhood looks like and maybe never knew to begin with#the world breaks you and everyone you love and you break yourself and the world and everyone you love and everyone you love breaks you too#also there's monkeys
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After Nagini's bite, Lucius found Severus instead of Harry.
(TW: Major character death, past mpreg)
***
"No!" he cried, kneeling in front of the man he loves so dearly. "No, no, no!" he repeated deliriously. He put his hands on his younger lover's neck, where he was bleeding to death, and applied pressure to stop the bleeding, but it was in vain.
"Lucius," a weak voice said. With his last ounce of strength, he grabbed the blond man's collar.
"Sev, you must have something on you, a-an antivenom or something... a-anything to save you" he was clearly crying. Anyone would do in his position. "Please" he begged. "Give me something to save you, please"
"No, love" Severus gasped. With blood filling his lungs, it was becoming more difficult to speak. "Daysha" he finally managed to say. "You must look after her"
"You're a Potions Master! How can you not have some antidote on you?!"
"Lucius focus. You should be the one to raise Daysha after I'm gone"
"No- no don't say that. You're not going a-anywhere Severus. My Sev cannot die today, you cannot die before me. I can't bear it"
"Luc... listen-" his sentence was cut short when he coughed up blood. He yanked on Malfoy's clothes once more, this time more desperately. "She's yours," he spat out at last. And then he began to cry. The thought of his daughter growing up like him burned his veins even worse than the venom.
Time stopped around Lucius as his heart started to beat faster, he didn't think it was possible a minute ago. "What?" he exhaled. "But you said-"
"I know what I said" sobbed Severus. "I didn't want your name, your marriage, to be tainted" he released Lucius's clothes and placed his hand on his chin. "But she's yours, I swear. She even has-" his sentence cut abruptly as a searing pain went through his whole body. "She even has your hair" he managed to gasp out before his body arched with another wave of pain. "Her hair was black when you saw her but it was a glamour, she's yours. I've never been with anyone but you in my whole life"
Lucius slowly caressed his temple with feather-like kisses "We could've raise her together" he whined, shaking his head as if he wants to wake up from a horrible nightmare. "Please don't leave me alone"
"It's okay" Severus whispered, that was all he could do.
"It's all my fault" Lucius admitted.
"Stop"
"I introduced you to Dark, it's because of me, you took the Mark because of me" he muttered against his darling's ear. "I should be the one who's dying"
"Look into my eyes" Severus said with a stern voice. When Lucius faced him, he said again "It's okay"
"What am I going to say to her when she asks about you? Salazar, she's only two"
"Just say her mama loves her" He had to put his hand over his mouth to keep his sobs from becoming too loud. "I need you to stay strong and be a good father to our daughter, okay? She's in Spinner's End with my mother. Promise me you won't leave Daysha with her." Severus was barely audible anymore; he didn't know how much time he had left, but it wasn't difficult to guess that it wasn't much.
"I won't" Lucius said. He'd never leave his own blood with a woman who had scarred Severus. But he didn't know how to be strong, he was weak; the love of his life was dying in his arms, and all he could do was nothing; he was weak.
"Promise me!"
The begging tone in Severus' voice woke him up from his train of thoughts. He nodded quickly. "Of course I won't leave her, dearest. She is my own flesh and blood, a part of us. I promise"
Severus' breathing began to slow as he reached for Lucius one last time. Malfoy intertwined their fingers and pressed his forehead against his dearest's. "I love you" he said as he breath out. He waited for a response but when none came he closed his eyes tightly as tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't tear his face away from Severus' for a while. He was too afraid to look at his lover's lifeless figure.
"I know you love me too"
He eventually drew back a little, pressed his lips against his beloved's forehead, and said "It's okay"
#Daysha was originally created by me for one of my old stories and the meaning of it is 'A gift from god'#It indicates that even though Severus' pregnancy was unexpected it was still welcomed by him because he saw Lucius' kid as a gift from god#They met up to find comfort in each other on the night of Voldemort's return and that's when he became pregnant#Severus told him that she was from a one night stand with a muggle#I'm just clarifying things so you get a clearer image#this was supposed to be really short but it got out of my hands#my man Lucius went through five stages of grief under five minutes#it's been so long since I last wrote something#snucius#lucius malfoy#severus snape#harry potter#harry potter ships#lucius and severus#severus and lucius#lucius x severus#severus x lucius#lucius and snape#snape and lucius#lucius x snape#snape x lucius#mpreg#snucius fanfiction#incorrect hp scene#professor snape#pro severus snape#pro snape#snape fandom#snape community#snape
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"I didn't really raise either of you in a gendered way" When I was like 10 or 11 maybe 12 but definitely not 13 yet, one day you asked me if I wanted to try on the wedding dress you married my dad in. I liked playing dress up and I liked hanging out with you, so I said yes. We're in the living room that you would (already have?) marry my stepdad in. You button up the back of the dress, I don't know why this becomes a core memory. You married my stepdad in a sundress, very casual, very small "event", only the barest of minimum people required to officiate and witness the wedding were there. You tell me, "Maybe one day, when you get married, you can wear this dress. Oh, but you don't have to if you don't want to! But, do you want it?" I still have the dress. I'm a man. And I don't think I'll ever marry. "You can get rid of it, you won't hurt my feelings." I can't.
#i literally like. have such a chip in my shoulder about marriage it's unreal.#it's like. i don't even have the extreme fundamentalist excuse. everything was presented as a 'choice' or a 'suggestion'#but like. somehow. i still extrapolated Something from that. what you expect from me. what you want for me.#and as i got older. it became increasingly clear that i would never be able to. be anywhere close to that.#i don't know. i don't know why i'm just. going through it rn.#i don't know if it's cause i haven't seen her in a long time. fucked up but i think it's been a year if not longer.#she hasn't seen my piercings yet. that's how long it's been.#and like. i had such an intense one sided rivalry like. posturing myself as the better son bc#i'm the one who stayed when i had every fucking reason to leave. and. comparitively.#he has valid emotional reasons but i'm the faggot. i'm the tranny. you are and always have been the golden boy.#and you have NEVER lived up to it. and there are reasons. but you still get more humanity than i ever will.#even though objectively like you just fucked up. so much. so badly. at every turn.#idk i need to stop talking about it. but like. ever since it finally seemed like he's getting divorced#from. like. like. okay fine while i'm at it. it would have been FINE if you just fucked off had a kid got married#like. i COULD accept that and be happy for you. if NOT for the fucking fact that you ended up in.#just. a horrible horrible relationship where the poor kids you brought into the world were not safe.#and you are not free from guilt either.#man i really just. i need to fuck off for real.#but he's been living w my mom w his kids. and you know what. i feel like i'm free from my duties.#mom is occuied w one of her kids and her grandkids now. i know they may be exposed to psychological damage#but physically. they are safe. and god. is it naive. to hope that make he can reconcile w her.#not as a responsibility but like. he needed it. badly.#not like i'm ever gonna get the reconciliation i need. not that i even want it.#like. as a person. i just don't like him.
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And Another Thing it's not like i Don't like roygarth or that i'm particularly Against the ship cause no. but i think their canon relationship is so much more interesting than this weird fanon version of them where they were always Best Buds.
like canon roygarth starts with them being angsty teens dealing with their own shit and fully refusing to understand each other. garth latches on to everyone who's even a Little nice to him and roy is stuck in his I Don't Need Friends They Disappoint Me stage. roy also has very high standards for himself and gets pissy with garth cause he feels like garth shouldn't be a hero. which obviously sets garth off because he Also feels like he shouldn't be a hero but the other titans were usually supportive and understanding whereas roy would actually say it and insult him directly.
And Then garth fucks off and only talks to the titans when they talk to him first, then he's Fine Again but goes through Rough Shit. meanwhile roy's life is Also falling apart. but they get older and they get more mature and they get to this point in their life where they don't Want to fight each other anymore. the titans are their home and they're constantly losing people and they don't Want to lose what little they have left. but they also won't apologize or talk about what happened because they're both emotionally repressed so they just never clear shit up.
it's obvious that later on roy Does respect garth and Does see him as a hero, but he never apologizes for what he said in the past so garth still has doubts. and garth starts to gradually leave the titans out of stuff and only update them once a fucking year so roy is like ?? What Are We??? and as adults you can see that playful banter and that familiarity they have with each other and yeah it IS genuine but it's also burying all the blood bad they never actually sorted.
they're just in this really weird zone where they're Family but they're not Friends. they would give their life for the other but they never talk. they pretend to understand the other but they don't know anything going on in their life. they're best friends and they're just some guys. like imo their canon relationship is so interesting and has So Many Layers that really highlight their individual problems but the fanon version is always like "yeah sometimes they sass each other :)". like.
#yeah im still thinking about them what of it what are you gonna do about it#ajhdgljagd#like i think its so interesting how they really only became 'friends' because theyre so familiar with each other despite not being close#like roy is Not close with garth in the same way that he's close with dick#and vice versa hell man garth feels more comfortable with Wally The Republican than with roy#but theyve known each other for So Long and theyve both lost so much that they just can't do it anymore#they can't fight they can't insult they can't force themselves to not understand the other#but neither of them want to bring that shit up either so they just... start acting like they were always buds#and its Weird and Awkward#roy still doesn't understand what jokes are okay and garth still takes things way too literally#but they're Trying and they do respect the other but they also REFUSE to actually talk it out#they both refuse to talk about their personal lives with the other and only give the most bare basic necessities#garth still has insecurities and feels like roy actually hates him and doesn't want him there#roy still feels bad but is also still burned from garth being too nosy or not understanding his addiction#and like. that's just so much more interesting than yeah sometimes roy calls garth a fish hahah funny right#dc#garth of shayeris
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aaaand tonight i'm thinking about how byan was originally meant to be this irredeemable little shitbag who was a problem just to be a problem... but now they're a lot more sympathetic and much more just this traumatized kid who's been done so dirty their whole life. like, they're still not a great person or anything, but it's a lot more out of necessity than actual nature...
#don't get me wrong; there's always been this underlying theme of them being shaped by their surroundings and unlucky situation in life#but once I stuck them into a modern setting and adapted them to it they just naturally became a little more tragic?#their backstory was always rough but idk man it took a turn somewhere to them not being as bad as they actually try to make themself seem#they're still a shithead they're still nasty but they've got more redeeming qualities and potential than they used to I guess#but I suppose that's also just the nature of developing a character over time 🤔#there's a good chance they'd have ended up similarly even if I hadn't changed their main setting once I got deeper into their background#IDK whatever the case they've come a long way and I really love the way they've developed#and a lot of that will always be thanks to those of u who have allowed me to torment ur muses with my beastie 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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what degree of "he would not fucking say that" can you handle in fics you read? both in a sense of like amount of oocness and the length/genre/format of the fic etc.
#bc i'm really close to the end of this fic and i wanna see it through bc if IS very cute#but at some point the 'he would not fucking say that' became too much so i'm basically forcing myself atp.#it's not long. and as i said i'm at the end. but Man this is a bit too much author projection for me#(and y'all know i'm usually ok with and even encourage projection. ig it depends on how contradictory it is to canon hm)#(this one isn't explicitly so but it does feel like it enters oc territory also. hashtag notmyblorbo)
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