#M: I don't know what I feel and I kinda wish I did

[hunkadorusrex]

Curly Shepard knew a lot about Ponyboy Curtis.

He knew what kind of cigarettes he liked, how he took his coffee, how he always curled his hands up near his chest when he slept. He knew Ponyboy didn’t mind touching, but not in front of people. He knew he didn’t like feeling trapped. He knew when he was about to pick a fight and when he wasn’t going to fight back.

What he didn’t know—what threw him off his game completely—was this.

Ponyboy had let him follow him into the bathroom, let him lean against the sink while he turned the water on. Hadn’t shoved him back out into the hallway with an irritated 'Jesus, Curly, go sit down somewhere.' Hadn’t even looked at him like he was considering it.

That was new.

Curly didn't push his luck at first, just stood there messing with the stuff on the counter while the shower started running. Ponyboy’s toothbrush, still damp from earlier. Some aftershave from his old house that he didn't even use. A crushed cigarette pack that still had one left, somehow.

He wasn't looking at Ponyboy when he asked, “So you gonna tell me what the hell happened, or do I gotta guess?”

The water shifted, a quiet sound of movement behind the curtain. Then, a sigh.

"I… got into it with Sodapop."

That made Curly stop messing with the counter.

Ponyboy didn’t fight with his brothers. Sure, they bickered sometimes—every family did—but not for real. Not like Curly and Tim. Not the kind of fight that left something broken in its wake.

Curly reached out, brushed the curtain aside a little. Not enough to be obvious, just enough to see. Ponyboy didn’t so much as twitch. Just looked at him, water and suds running down his skin, hair slicked back, eyes tired.

Curly’s stomach did something complicated and stupid. If only he could enjoy the view.

"About what?"

"I told him about the roofie. Couple days ago. He came home today actin' weird. I asked what happened, he said he'd run into you."

Ponyboy stopped, wiped water off his face. His voice was quieter when he said, "I got it outta him. What he said to you."

Something raw seeped into his expression, something too earnest, too soft. "I'm real sorry, Curly. I wouldn't have told him if I knew he was gonna take it out on you. That wasn’t fair, what he said. And I'm sorry."

Curly had to look away. Had to grit his teeth.

"Figured you’d tell him."

"It's not true. You know that, right?"

Curly shrugged. "It’s whatever, man."

Ponyboy let it go. Curly was almost surprised. Usually, he would push, would get all pissed off and determined until he made Curly talk about it. But Ponyboy was so fucking tired right now, and seeing that made something hot and guilty twist up in Curly’s chest.

"I don't think we gotta worry about them tellin'." Ponyboy’s voice broke through the quiet. "Uh… he kinda told Darry. I mean, I sorta made him, 'cause this was his fault, but... yeah. But I know they ain’t gonna tell no one. About Tim, I mean. We ain't narks."

Curly snorted but didn't say anything.

That wasn't the problem. The problem was that Ponyboy's brothers thought he was some kind of shithead who couldn't take care of him.

As if he hadn’t been taking care of Ponyboy for a while now. As if one mistake, one fucking slip, was all it took to undo that.

Ponyboy shut the water off and stepped out, steam curling around him. He looked smaller than usual like this, skin warm and damp, exhaustion weighing heavy on his frame.

Curly wished—again—that he could get lost in just looking. Maybe even touching. Ponyboy wasn’t telling him no. Wasn’t even pulling away when Curly let a hand glide down his back out of habit.

He leaned in, actually.

Not in a vacant way, not in a fuck it, do whatever kind of way. Just… into Curly’s touch, like it helped. Like it meant something.

Curly swallowed.

"You uh… you got anything? I wanna smoke."

Curly blinked. “Huh?”

Ponyboy looked at him like he was stupid. “You got any weed?”

That made Curly’s eyebrows shoot up. Ponyboy? Asking for it? He usually only took it when Curly offered, and even then, it was hit or miss. This, though? This was a whole different thing.

"You sure that's a good idea?"

Ponyboy gave him a look of pure surprise, like that was the dumbest thing he'd heard all day. "Yeah. I'm sure. I promise not to freak out on you." A pause. Then, with a little half-smile, "Again."

Curly watched him for a second longer, then nodded.

"Okay, baby."

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

FOR THE GIVE ME A CHARACTER, CAN YOU DO TWO BIT

OFC I CAN HON!!! (ask game here!!)

Two Bit is unfortunately one of those characters I never talk about but I need you to know I have him vibratin at lightnin speeds in my brain. He's easy to misunderstand I fear. both in n out of canon which is kinda the tragedy of his character I s'ppose. he's a joke. a he's the comic relief. he knows he ain't worth nothin. his self esteem is the worst you've ever seen. he talks like he thinks he's hot shit. he drinks for courage n drinks for distance n drinks cause no one ever stops him. he thinks he's stupid. he goes to school cause that's where his friends are! n cause he don't think he could ever hold down a job. he's terrified a endin up like his dad. he wants to make his ma proud. he knows he can't. he falls victim to the same fallacy as soda. he looks fine. so no one ever asks him more.

my ships for two!! unfortunately I don't really go for any two bit ships!! I think him n marcia are cute but it don't really pique my interest enough to really explore (I'm so sorry to my marbit lovers!! I think they're sweet!! honest!!)

as far as non romantic relationships/ friendships I adore my GOD do NOT get me goin on Steve, Soda, Two trio. they are kinda. everythin to me. two's always dickin around the DX n buggin Steve n Soda when he skips! they get REAL into startin a band!! once a month two of em get overly involved on a prank on the other!! they are perhaps the most chaotic trio in tusla!! not an ounce a sense between them n the means to get into any typa trouble a person could possibly get into!! I could go on forever actually. they're so silly to me god I adore em.

my unpopular opinion about two! hmm I'm not sure!! I gotta think!! OH! well I dunno if this counts but I often feel like two as an individual character gets over looked way too often!! I see him talked about in the context of other characters real often but never much about just him. he's so much more then just a funny kid n I really wish people talked about him more!!

one thing I wish had happened I canon!! I wish real bad we had gotten to see more of two interact one on one with the other characters!! ESPECIALLY johnny!! I feel like there was so much complexity there with Johnny n Two's friendship (Two who was so used to people laughin at his jokes n never seein more n Johnny who could see right past that. Two who was clearly real protective over the kid n hated his mother for what she did to him. but calls her a 'damn drunk' n knows he really ain't that much different) That or more of his own grief after Johnny n Dallas! he lost two brothers. when does he get to grieve?

AOUGH!! TWO BIT MATHEWS MY BELOVED. I'm gonna cut it off there but know I could talk about him til the end a time.

[agentark]

was reading through some of the code for b3 and noticed something interesting about M's conversation w/ each member of UB after the bff choice lock-in

M tells each bff that they're not messing around with the detective, but only really admits their fears that the detective might not feel the same something that they're feeling to A

[valzhangism]

i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."

she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.

so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.

[hpdfag]

feel like im getting stabbed in the chest every time i think about him. is this even what love is supposed to feel like

[sinnettini]

are you catholic? i wouldn't have said so

anon 😭😭 i'm not trying to make fun of you and i'm taking this as a compliment actually but i don't know how to tell you this... i'm literally italian 😭

but seriously, i've grown up catholic yeah, but i don't believe in god and haven't taken part in anything religious in many years. i would say i'm like culturally catholic tho. and technically still catholic to the eyes of the church bc baptism and all that

[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life

[longagoitwastuesday]

Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff

[cold-neon-ocean]

Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..

(my AU black version and the og green)

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙

I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao

[fxckinemo]

do it scaredstyle

[quirkle2]

as a huge spyro year of the dragon fan i Hate the reignited trilogy they took all the charm and nostalgia out of it BUT ... spyro's walking/running animation ? they perfected that.

[koka-mi]

I both love and hate how I resort to sleeping every time I'm stressed and/or things just aren't going very good </3

[afniel]

AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

[dadbots]

August… time to get spooky.