#M: I don't know what I feel and I kinda wish I did

[mattspillowprincess]

Thankful For Smiles

Summary: The Reader has a bad relationship with her parents. This is her first time spending a holiday with Matt’s family, and she realizes not all holidays have to be painful. 

Warnings: fluff, slight angst (?), use of Y/N, crying, swearing, mentions of past trauma?

AN: This is my first time posting my writing, so please be kind. I take constructive criticism very well, so if you think there are things I can do better, don't hesitate to let me know! Enjoy! :) (Also, I know we are nowhere near Thanksgiving, but this idea popped into my head, so let's ignore it.)

WC: 965

I sit in the kitchen, helping Mary-Lou cut carrots for tonight's meal. Matt, his brothers, and I arrived from LA yesterday to celebrate Thanksgiving with his parents. I’ve never spent a holiday with someone else’s family, so I was kinda nervous but pretty excited. I’ve met Matt's family before, and I always loved them. They were always so welcoming and lovely to me.

I heard footsteps walk down into the kitchen, and I looked up, finding Matt walking down the hall. I smile at him as he walks into the room. 

“Hi Baby,” I say as he stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and I sigh in content.  

“Happy Thanksgiving,” He whispers in my ear. “Happy Thanksgiving,” I repeat. I continue to chop carrots, tossing them onto a baking pan. 

“Anything I can do to help, Mom?” He asks Mary-Lou. “No, but thank you, love,” She smiles as her middle boy. “Y/N’s been such a big help,” I grin at her.

“It's the least I could do after you let me spend the holiday with you.”

“Oh, you’re always welcome here, sweetie. You know that.” We keep working, chopping vegetables, mashing potatoes, and buttering the turkey. Matt goes into the living room to watch a football game with his brothers and dad. 

The Sturniolo Thanksgiving was similar to my family's, on the surface level. We both cooked a big meal, watched a football game, and spent lots of time with friends and family. However, there was an air of happiness and love in their house that was lacking in mine.

 If I were back in Connecticut right now, I would be getting yelled at for something. The house isn't clean enough, I’m doing something wrong, I’m in the way, I’m not helping enough, I have an attitude. I was never enough for my family. They were always criticizing my every move, outfit, and word that came out of my mouth. 

Matt’s family was different. The yelling was out of excitement, laughter floating through the house. No one got angry, no one was in trouble. It hurt my heart a little, looking at the life I wished I had experienced, instead of the angry one I was brought up in. 

Later that night….

Dinner was full of jokes, laughs, and smiles. Matt’s family never made me feel excluded or on the outside. They explained all their inside jokes and old stories, making me feel like a real part of the family. The best part was, no one got mad at me. Even when I fucked up the potatoes and burned a couple, or when I dropped my juice and got some on the carpet. Nobody was mad, it was just an accident. 

After dinner, everyone headed to the living room to relax. I walked upstairs to Matt’s room just for a second to breathe. As I sat down on his bed, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. They kept flowing, I was unable to stop them. 

I could taste the salt as it trailed down my cheeks, and loud sobs racked my chest. Thoughts spinning around my head. 

Why couldn't my life have been like this? Why did my parents treat me this way? Why didn't they love me like Matt’s parents loved him? 

I curled into a ball on his bed, sobbing into my knees. 

Downstairs, his family had noticed my sudden departure. “Where’s Y/N?” Jimmy asked Matt from across the couch. “I don't know,” He answered. “She probably just went upstairs. Let me go see what she’s doing.” He got up from the couch and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. 

Standing outside his door, he could hear quiet sobs coming from inside his room. He quickly opened the door, finding me curled up in his bed, crying. He immediately walked over to me, kneeling beside the bed. 

“Baby?! What's wrong?” He asked, pulling me into his lap and rubbing my back. “What happened?”

I took a deep breath, my cried subsiding as I looked up at him, face red and puffy. Tears still glimmered on my lash line, threatening to spill over. 

“I-I was just thinking about how happy your family was today. How nobody got mad or yelled at each other. Everyone was just enjoying the day. A-and i realized, I’ve never had a holiday where nobody yelled at me. No matter if it was Christmas or my birthday, somebody was always mad at me back home. Today was the first holiday I’ve had in as long as I could remember where I could just enjoy the day, and nobody got angry at me.” I rushed out, embarrassed.

He stared at me for a moment, thinking. His thumb rubbed my cheek, swiping away past tears. “Baby,” He whispered. “I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could go back in time and make sure you are happy on every holiday, every day, every moment. I hate that you're sad, and I hate that you had to go through that.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I love you so much.”

My eyes fluttered closed at his kiss. “I love you, too,” I murmured. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“Always,” He whispered back. “I’m always here for you, my love,” I smiled and sat up, letting out a long breath. “Ready to go?” He asked me and I nodded. He took my hand and we walked back downstairs to hang out with his family. 

The rest of that trip was amazing, and when I was asked what I was thankful for, I said his family, and especially Matt, because he could always make me smile with his toothiest grin. And in times of anger or sadness, I was always thankful for his smiles. 

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws

[jawllines]

Helloooooo I'm baaaackkkkk!!!! Okay. It's been two weeks since part 4 and I told you (don't know if you got it or not) that I'm writing down my thoughts and would send to you soon but I kind of lost myself. There's so many things I wanted to say then and there's so much more that I want to say now. But I'm guessing you're halfway through writing part 5, so idk if you can do anything about what I'm gonna say or want. And there's this feeling that I might cross a line with my 'demands' because maybe what I want would not align with what other readers want. But I have been reading some asks and seems like there's a mixture of requests for part 5 and some of them are same as mine. So I'm gonna send my thoughts now anyway. Hope you get it. But first let me tell you what I liked in part 4

Let me start with how much I loved knowing Harry's thoughts. Learning about how they first met from his point of view and how much deeper meaning her dish and their meeting held. Because he thought it was fate. He hoped he could get her to make the pie again for him. Cause it's exactly like his grandma's and reminded him of her and his childhood? That's like soulmate shit or something.

Loved that Harry's attraction to her was not something sudden or like from the very first moment he saw her. It was gradual. It happened in its own time. To me it felt like it was first born out of his guilt. Not the attraction he feels for her, but the softness he holds in his heart. Because after he realised he had hurt her feelings he made an effort to make things right because he was guilty. And he did it in his way, not telling her that he was sorry but he paid more attention to her and everything about her. Took care of her. Made an effort to be more approachable for her. And then it grew from there. And he said she has always been cute but he had never treated her any different than he'd treat any other cute employee. All of this is very natural. Also surprising that during the first hair incident Harry expected her to speak up and say that it wasn't her hair because he has seen the hair and knew it wasn't hers but since she stayed silent he took that as her confirmation. I thought he didn't even care or notice that the hair was different. He could've been more gentle with his scolding but at least he knew it wasn't hers.

CILF!!!!! Yes! This is something I didn't know I needed but I can't stop thinking about this little name or acronym or title whatever. Love it. Trust Niall to say the mist unhinged thing and come up with the most insane idea. He's always being useful lol. Love their friendship. Wish I had a buddy like him who'd tell me my boobs look great and boost my confidence

But gotta love YN for not listening to Niall when he told her to wear a sundress to seduce Harry. Loved that she stayed true to herself even though she was desperate she didn't try to be something she wasn't in reality. I appreciate it so much. Besides Niall was right, Harry finds her hot in anything she wears (need him to tell her that at some point)

One more thing that's interesting to me is the way Harry handles his jealousy. I love that he has never felt jealousy like this before her. And him getting jealous that YN is learning from someone else was kinda....cute? But I'm glad that he's keeping his pride intact and isn't behaving too wildly because of his jealousy. Yes he's doing this not-so-subtle things infront of her but not infront of others, he's not losing his shit infront of others, he's not being passive aggressive with her or the person he's jealous of and he isn't even saying stupid hurtful things unintentionally out of jealousy. He isn't blinded by this. Which is good. I'm extremely possessive of my favourite people. If I think someone else is paying attention to my people I get so sad even though I know I have no reason to feel threatened and kinda tend to remove myself from the scenario. If I was in Harry's place I'd tell her to take her time and learn whatever she wants, tell her I'll go home and rest and we'd meet later. But in reality I'll be very mad-sad you know? Like I'd understand it's not her fault but I'd be too hurt to understand? It doesn't make sense. But Harry is so mature about it. He knows she's not doing anything wrong, he knows she's excited to see him, he knows that she's his and he won't let anybody get in his way. Even if he has to break his rules. If Harry thinks YN is cockdumb then he is PUSSY WHIPPED. So pussy whipped that he's become a jealous caveman who's marking her without even caring about his own no hickey policy. Marking his territory. So so possessive. Yeah, 'don't have a crush on her' my ass.

Now I obviously have some questions because I can't stop being annoying it seems. So let's get the questions out of the way.

What happened to the sweatshirt Harry let her wear in the movie theatre? I don't remember if she returned it to him, don't think I read it? And what about the clothes Harry gave her to wear the morning after they had sex and she stayed the night? I'm pretty sure Harry would have some thoughts about her wearing his clothes. Need to know!!!! Need him to insist she wear his shirt whenever she visits.

This is gonna be the most annoying thing I'm so so so sorry that I'm like this but I can't help but ask this. So from what I understand from part 4 is that YN and her ex Rowan were together for 3 years and since she said that he's "three years too late" in apologising to her, I'd assume they broke up around three years ago? And I think in the first chapter it was mentioned that she met Niall through Harry's restaurant? And she's been working with Harry for like two years? So how did Rowan know about Niall? And she also cried about her break up to Niall. So Niall was around at that time. But it doesn't make sense and it doesn't matter I know but I still can't look past it and I hate myself for it. I'm also confused about their age. Like I kind of assumed Harry as this older dilf and YN in her early 20s. I thought they have at 8-9 years of age gap. And I thought her ex was a little bit older than her. I'm going crazy thinking about all of that. I think i could make sense of Dark (the series) easier than this whole YN and Rowan thing. Someone make me stop!!!!

What I really want from the next part is for them to be more than what their relationship currently is. And I'm worried that other readers might not want that because it's obviously a dom/sub dynamic fic and I want this dynamic to be there too. But they obviously have feelings for each other, don't they? And I don't know if you're gonna make them end up with each other or make them confess or not but I kinda need them together by the end.

I need you to write chefrry softer. So soft that he gives your others soft harrys a run for their money (not grad school rivalrry though, no one can be like him. Don't judge me I'm soft for him). And that doesn't mean that chefrry is going anywhere from my FEEL HOT AND HORNY list. He's still at the top and he's gonna remain there. But I also need him softer. Because, as I said for the last part, their relationship (still) feels very transactional, give and take, business-like. They don't communicate, they don't know anything about each other other than what's absolutely necessary and they get right to business. Like how when she got him to come to her place to teach her something and the whole thing was kinda like foreplay and how in the last scene he just went straight to marking her. Which makes sense for their dynamic. But they both clearly have more feelings for each other than just sexual desires. They just don't seem to understand it and don't even try to. Because she's too insecure to believe that someone would be so interested in her that they'd get jealous because of her (don't blame her, I'd be like this too). So insecure that she's obviously to the most obvious things happening right infront of her. Or maybe she's in denial just like Harry is. And I stand by my theory that he isn't sure if he should pursue her as something more than what she is now because of their mentor/mentee relationship. In his subconscious maybe he thinks it's not right or she doesn't want anything more than a little fun. What I mean is he's definitely having some internal doubts about what he wants from her which is why he's denying having a crush on her. If only they would just communicate. I want them to become more and I want the transition to be smooth. Not sudden or abrupt. Want them to talk about each other's family and friends and likes dislikes hobbies....in a non sexual, non professional setting. Like becoming friends and then they realise that they have deeper feelings for each other.

Like maybe she's sick one day and still comes to work but harry sends her home and after he finishes at the restaurant he goes to her place to take care of her. And he realises that he likes doing domestic things with her. We know that he likes feeding her and cuddling her. But he realises that he likes doing other random insignificant homey things with too. Like cooking together, watching her favourite movies/shows with her, watching her play with Hazelnut. Realises that he wouldn't like if someone else made her dinner or bought her flowers or went grocery shopping with her or watch her favourite anime with her. Realises that he wants to be the only one doing all those things with and for her. Like slow acceptance of what he already knew but was maybe scared to admit to himself

And I want our oblivious queen to open her eyes and see the power she has over him. I want her to be a little more confident. But I understand it's hard for her when she still is uncertain if harry actually wants her as much as she wants him. Harry doesn't make it clear, more like she doesn't see the signs but still I understand her point. And like Niall said (when is Niall not right?) Harry's pride won't let him show his emotions infront of others. Honestly though there's just so much room for misunderstanding in this relationship. Because she might think that she's not that important to him that he'd openly show his emotions for her. And she's still treating him like the boss even when they're playing. She is so unsure about everything, like whatever they have going on can end any moment. So I want them to be in a place where he's hundred percent sure he wants her permanently and isn't going anywhere and she's also confident and knows that harry wants her and only has eyes for her. Like a "I'm yours and you're mine" kinda moment along with them at least acknowledging to themselves that they have feelings for each other.

But I kinda want Harry to be prideful a little while longer because I really wanna see her get jealous because there's no way hot women don't flirt with him when they're out in pubs or even in his restaurant. And she'd be like I don't have any right to be jealous but still be sad and Harry would notice and tease her later when they're back home and show her that she doesn't have anything to worry about and he'd let go of his pride and tell her that he's been jealous of YoungJae too.

And all of this doesn't mean I don't want the kinky freaky stuff. Because I definitely do.

Like the puppy thing he described. Needs to happen.

Tying her up and seeing how much she can take and then fucking her while she's asleep (with her permission and hopefully she wakes up soon after), needs to happen.

Someone suggested YN doing all the work and Harry sitting back and watching, nerds to happen. Maybe he'll be mean and tease her when she gets tired off movin over him and begs him to take over. And deep subspace too.

He needs to have her sit on his face and smother him.

Needs to make her squirt again and this time there needs to be lots of dirty talk and talk in general during sex.

Maybe anal too. But I'd assume she's never done it before so he'd need to have her ready and comfortable so maybe they do it later on idk. I was kinda thinking that in next part we can have all the kinky stuff because honestly I feel like if I don't read all of the stuff that you mentioned and others suggested with chefrry I might explode. Like I need chefrry to do these things. But it'd be a long fucking chapter and we'd never get to the softer part. So I thought maybe next to next part can have all the soft fluff new relationship and cute couple stuff, romantic dates and outings and love making and going bare (because that'd be a big deal for chefrry I think). But then I feel like asking for two more chapters is too much. Even though it'd be nice I can't be so selfish ask for more. So I'm just gonna trust you and hope you give us big fat chapter that can squeeze all of this in.

Also need more BABY. Some "my girl/his girl" and "you're all mine, aren't you?" moments.

Need more Harry pov. I wanna see his pov when they're playing because we haven't had the chance to peek in his mind when they're in the middle of the act. His mind would be full of filthy thoughts when she's calls him daddy.

She kept her bush for him (again Niall knows best). Hope we get to see his reaction in next chapter.

I wanna see how they act with each other when they're at the restaurant now that they have properly fucked. Is Harry pushing her into his office after everyone leaves and kissing the life out of her? Is he stealing kisses when they're alone somewhere and no one is there to see them? Because I need him to do that. Like come on Harry be obsessed with her kisses already! What are you doing!

Also need another Rowan appearance, because goddamnit I wanted YN to run into her ex when she was with Harry not YoungJae. And he's such a piece of shit i hate him and she needs to call out his bullshit. I know she doesn't wanna give him the satisfaction but maybe Harry can show him how much happier she is with him and tell him how big of a loser asshole pathetic person and partner he's been to YN and still is a jerk. I need Harry to put him in his place.

Need Harry to be obsessed with holding her hand all the time when they are in public (when they're a couple). I need it to breathe okay? Please 🙏🏼 and maybe they run into her shitty ex during a walk or shopping or something when he's holding her hand and being all heart eyes for her.

Oh and about YoungJae, would he like ask YN out? Maybe he does and she says no and Harry listens to the convo but neither of them know that Harry has heard it. Obviously she won't tell YoungJae about Harry and her. Idk it can be fun because i really don't think Harry would stop worrying about this or talk about it with her any time soon. So this can put her mind at ease and maybe he'd be extra lovey with her and then eventually (if you include YN jealousy scene) he can tell her about his worries regarding the other chef.

I also have an agenda, that is to have chefrry give YN a cute nickname that reflects her personality. Again puppy is for play time mostly. He can call her baby anytime and I'd die of happiness. But I want him to call her by something cute that he can use infront of everyone.

Shit.... feel like I'm making you work so much. I'm so genuinely sorry btw. I know this is probably coming off as me telling you what to do with YOUR story. But I tend to get passionate about things sometimes. And I swear even if you do not write any of this I won't mind a bit. I'm not being ungrateful. I'm insanely thankful that you find time to write for us for free even after working such tiring job. I just can't help but share my thoughts after reading something that I love. And it's kinda an impulse thing. Like I've putting off sending you this for so long but I still couldn't let of it because what does it matter if I don't share my thoughts but no, that tiny voice in my head was like "you have to send it in,have to share your thoughts". It's kinda annoying, I get annoyed with myself sometimes.

Anyway I probably had a lot more to say I forgot. So that was my whole essay. Hopefully you don't get tired of me. Thank you for writing. Love you so much 💞

HIIII FRIEND!! IM SORRY THAT THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR MESSAGES VERY MUCH!! ILL TRY AND GO THROUGH POINT BY POINT :D

IM HAPPY THAT YOU ENJOYED HIS THOUGHTS!! I LOVE WRITING WHAT THE OTHER CHARACTER IS THINKING AFTER FOLLOWING ONLY ONE FOR SO LONG, ITS ALWAYS SO INTERESTING TO GET INSIDE THEIR HEAD AND THINK ABOUT THEIR REACTIONS AND FEELINGS TO DIFFERENT SITUATIONS!! AND IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO CONVEY A LIL SLOW DEVELOPMENT OF FEELINGS RATHER THAN HIM JUST ALL THE SUDDEN BEING OBSESSED WITH HER -- I LOOOOVE A GRADUAL SHIFT, SO I TRY MY BEST TO WRITE THEM AT LEAST AN EENSY BIT REALISTICALLY

I ALSO LOVE WRITING A MATURE JEALOUS MAN!! NO GRUMPY FUSSING OR ANYTHING LIKE IT!! SO IM GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THAT TOO :-) IM ALSO SOMEONE WHO GETS JELLY EASILY THO

AS FOR THE CLOTHES SHE'S BORROWED FROM HIS....I DON'T KNOW :D I KIND OF IMAGINE THE HOODIE SHE GAVE BACK TO HIM "OFF SCREEN" AND THE OTHER CLOTHES SHE'S KIND OF JUST KEPT, WASHED, AND HAS BEEN MEANT TO GIVE HIM BUT JUST FOLDS THEM UP AND STUFFS THEM IN HER DRESSER INSTEAD TO SEE HOW LONG SHE COULD GET AWAY WITH HAVING THEM

ALSO ILL BE SO SO SO SUPER HONEST, AS FAR AS THE NIALL AND ROWAN THING, IM SO BAD WITH KEEPING TIMELINES SOMETIMES WITH MY FICS D: ILL GO BACK AND TRY TO MAKE SURE THERE'S SOME DEGREE OF A TIMELINE BUT IF IT ISN'T LIKE SUPPPPPER IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT THEN IM MORE LOOSEY GOOSEY ABOUT IT SO IM SORRY! FOR THE SAKE OF THE FIC LETS JUST SAY NIALL WAS AROUND TOWARD THE END OF ROWAN OR SOMETHING LIKE IT AND THATS HOW HE'S AWARE OF HIM!

I WILL DEFINITELY BE DEVELOPING THEIR RELATIONSHIP OUTSIDE OF SEX AND THEIR DOM/SUB DYNAMIC!!

I ALSO HAVE AN IDEA FOR JEALOUS Y/N HEHEHE

THE KINKY AND MORE OF HARRYS POV ARE A MUST ! ALL OF YOUR IDEAS ARE SO GOOD!

AGAIN THANK YOUUUUUU I LOVE THESE MESSAGES, I LOOK FORWARD TO THEM FOR EACH PART :D AND I LOVE YOU!!

[atopvisenyashill]

omg i’ve talked about it a bit when it comes to, like, the “recipe” for waking dragons from stone (took me FOREVER to find it bc it was NOT showing up in my search smh). it’s vague (on purpose) what is actually required to wake a dragon from stone. mirri & drogo seem to be part of it, and euron is clearly planning to use at least falia but probably her bastard & maybe aeron as well to fuel his own magic. but dany doesn't really know the "recipe" - she's acting on instinct. so firstly, i've always wondered about melisandre - does she know the "recipe" or does she know an incorrect recipe or is she just hoping she'll know what to do in the moment? i mean does euron even know the "true" recipe? does it change depending on who is doing it?

but the main kinda weird thing is that both "waking stone" moments deal with a pregnant (or recently miscarried) woman, and melisandre is very pushy about child sacrifices specifically - both aemon steelsong and edric storm. is a child - an "innocent" so to speak - needed? does the child have to be blood related? i mean rhaego is already dead when dany burns the pyre - it's drogo she's sacrificing more than anything, alongside mirri and herself. but dany (like bran) is a once-in-a-lifetime magic user - melisandre and euron are more likely to be following a recipe, i don't think they just Know Instinctively what to do. they had to learn like mirri did. so...where did they learn how to wake the dragons from stone?

and that's where we get into egg. who tells him how to wake the dragons from stone? what do they tell him? our information on the tragedy of summerhall is just as vague as the information on what "wake the stone dragons" even means.

"This talk of a stone dragon . . . madness, I tell you, sheer madness. Did we learn nothing from Aerion Brightfire, from the nine mages, from the alchemists? Did we learn nothing from Summerhall? No good has ever come from these dreams of dragons, I told Axell as much.

"He was born in grief, my queen, and that shadow hung over him all his days." Viserys had spoken of Rhaegar's birth only once. Perhaps the tale saddened him too much. "It was the shadow of Summerhall that haunted him, was it not?" "Yes. And yet Summerhall was the place the prince loved best. He would go there from time to time, with only his harp for company. Even the knights of the Kingsguard did not attend him there. He liked to sleep in the ruined hall, beneath the moon and stars, and whenever he came back he would bring a song. When you heard him play his high harp with the silver strings and sing of twilights and tears and the death of kings, you could not but feel that he was singing of himself and those he loved."

"I see you," she whispered. "I see you, wolf child. Blood child. I thought it was the lord who smelled of death . . ." She began to sob, her little body shaking. "You are cruel to come to my hill, cruel. I gorged on grief at Summerhall, I need none of yours. Begone from here, dark heart. Begone!"

"No one ever looked for a girl," he said. "It was a prince that was promised, not a princess. Rhaegar, I thought . . . the smoke was from the fire that devoured Summerhall on the day of his birth, the salt from the tears shed for those who died..."

All three of the sons of the fifth Aegon had wed for love, in defiance of their father's wishes. And because that unlikely monarch had himself followed his heart when he chose his queen, he allowed his sons to have their way, making bitter enemies where he might have had fast friends. Treason and turmoil followed, as night follows day, ending at Summerhall in sorcery, fire, and grief.

"She came to court with Jenny of Oldstones. A stunted thing, grotesque to look upon. A dwarf, most people said, though dear to Lady Jenny, who always claimed that she was one of the children of the forest." "What became of her?" "Summerhall." The word was fraught with doom.

Literally all we are told is that there was a fire and it burned the place to the ground as Rhaella gave birth to Rhaegar. And then we get this bit in TWOIAF:

In the fateful year 259 AC, the king summoned many of those closest to him to Summerhall, his favorite castle, there to celebrate the impending birth of his first great-grandchild, a boy later named Rhaegar, to his grandson Aerys and granddaughter Rhaella, the children of Prince Jaehaerys. It is unfortunate that the tragedy that transpired at Summerhall left very few witnesses alive, and those who survived would not speak of it. A tantalizing page of Gyldayn's history—surely one of the very last written before his own death—hints at much, but the ink that was spilled over it in some mishap blotted out too much. ...the blood of the dragon gathered in one... ...seven eggs, to honor the seven gods, though the king's own septon had warned... ...pyromancers... ...wild fire... ...flames grew out of control...towering...burned so hot that... ...died, but for the valor of the Lord Comman...

Now the obvious and still likely answer here is that the wildfire they used to make a pyre for the eggs grew out of control, and that in the heat of the moment Dunk grabbed a pregnant Rhaella and ran for it, probably did something heroic that allowed her to get away while he was consumed by the flames. And surely just seeing your family go in flames is more than enough reason to "gorge on grief" when it comes to survivors like Rhaella and Jenny's Ghost.

BUT. Only death may pay for life. Did Egg know that? I think it's not unlikely he did! He is mentioned to have met with other magic users besides the Ghost of High Heart, and they certainly would have told him about it. And not unlikely Egg might have tried something odd, since we know he was getting desperate for control at that time. It doesn't have to be sacrificing a pregnant Rhaella - I mean maybe Egg was slightly clued in on the magic that moves Dany, and tried himself to walk onto the pyre (and maybe it's the opposite ie he knew he'd have to sacrifice someone else but thought his sacrifice would be enough, whereas Dany knew she'd have to sacrifice Mirri, Drogo, and herself). Perhaps as it exploded, as Egg walked onto the pyre to die, Dunk was forced to make a choice between Egg and Rhaella and chose Rhaella. My main point here is it's so vague and I think that means Egg did something more than just light some eggs on fire - he walked onto that pyre himself or he tried to sacrifice someone, and it was only because Dunk made the decision to rescue Rhaella that anyone got out alive.

And that's interesting when you think about the Kingsguard vows - Arthur Dayne, Gerold Hightower, Aemon the Dragonknight, they stood there and made excuses as the men they served did monstrous things. But Dunk, a knight yet not quite confined to the vows of a knight, maybe watches as the boy he loves does a monstrous thing and decides to act.

i’m not saying it’s a guarantee nor am i saying the story doesn’t work without it. but once you’ve seen the “egg attempted to blood sacrifice pregnant rhaella and dunk saved her” theory it’s in your head.

[agentark]

was reading through some of the code for b3 and noticed something interesting about M's conversation w/ each member of UB after the bff choice lock-in

M tells each bff that they're not messing around with the detective, but only really admits their fears that the detective might not feel the same something that they're feeling to A

[valzhangism]

i know i said i was happy about how mel's story went, but the more i think about it the less i'm sure about that. this is very much connected to how the themes of classism and wealth disappeared in s2, but mel in the beginning was the epitome of piltover. she wanted to advance piltover to prove herself to her mother. to "put piltover—" and by extension herself, "—on the map."

she wanted wealth just to have it. and i'm not blaming her for anything that happened, especially with hextech! she, just like jayce and viktor, could not have known what it would lead to. i mean yeah heimerdinger said so but who the hell listens to heimerdinger? but anyway i think mel changed throughout s1, much in thanks to jayce. by the end she's become more cognisant of the mistreatment of zaunites. she's the first to vote for their peace. she was a good person all along but now she knows how to act on it. it's also seen more in s2 act 1. when she covers her painting with gold, it's symbolic—she won't act according to what her mother might think. she won't let her desire for approval dictate her anymore.

so somehow i wish those themes were. continued, somehow? like again they were dropped not just with mel but the whole show and it makes her story a off to me. there's no meaningful commentary on war or classism or how her ideology stands opposite to her mother's. like some people have said, it feels like she doesn't have much agency, even if she is really cool. and that to me is a shame because agency felt like her thing. "to shape your own destiny" as she says to jayce in s1. i know her collaborating with the black rose (but not fully joining them) and learning magic is supposed to represent becoming independent from her mother, taking her own path, but some other aspects of her character were thrown away... the more i think about it the more i'm thinking they kind of #girlboss-ed her a little bit. maybe to sell another champion. i can't help but feel like even though i enjoyed seeing her on screen, the payoff didn't feel proportionally satisfying compared to her setup in s1.

[hpdfag]

feel like im getting stabbed in the chest every time i think about him. is this even what love is supposed to feel like

[matteoberrettini]

are you catholic? i wouldn't have said so

anon 😭😭 i'm not trying to make fun of you and i'm taking this as a compliment actually but i don't know how to tell you this... i'm literally italian 😭

but seriously, i've grown up catholic yeah, but i don't believe in god and haven't taken part in anything religious in many years. i would say i'm like culturally catholic tho. and technically still catholic to the eyes of the church bc baptism and all that

[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life

[longagoitwastuesday]

Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff

[cold-neon-ocean]

Posting this by itself because :) I just feel like he should have gotten to wear the mech pilot suit at least once..

(my AU black version and the og green)

[autumnoakes]

i think re6 could have been really good if they'd just let it cook longer

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙

I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao

[quirkle2]

as a huge spyro year of the dragon fan i Hate the reignited trilogy they took all the charm and nostalgia out of it BUT ... spyro's walking/running animation ? they perfected that.

[koka-mi]

I both love and hate how I resort to sleeping every time I'm stressed and/or things just aren't going very good </3

[afniel]

AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

just finished season 2 of arcane :(