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sevensoulmates · 5 months

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Buddie 7x06 Meta

HURRAH! It's not a four-parter this time!! Just a one-parter! It's a Madney/Chim-centric episode (which by the way I loved) but the buddie we got was AMAZING! I'm so excited for the rest of the season. We're just gonna dive right in!

First, I want to say that with the hindsight of this episode, we now know that the bachelor party was not ACTUALLY something that needed to happen, narrative-wise. It didn't actually contribute anything to the Chim plot, as that would've happened with or without buddie going crazy in the hotel room. So, all of the Bachelor Party was written purely for the purpose of watching Buck and Eddie have a good time. Maybe for comedic relief, maybe for the purposes of furthering their story at a later point in the series. Time will tell.

First, I've seen other people point out that Buck expected Eddie to be early (even though he's the first person there) because he wanted Eddie to help him set up for Chim's party. To Buck, Eddie is the person who helps him with everything. This is Buck's idea, yes, but Eddie is the proverbial co-host in this married dynamic. So Eddie being "late" feels more like Buck being disappointed his partner wasn't there to help him behind the scenes to make everything perfect. It really does make the whole scene feel like Buck-and-Eddie (the bro-in-laws) throwing the party. So of course Eddie's breaking the unspoken rules by being late.

I love how Eddie walks in completely ready to be fawned over by Buck with their couple's outfit. It's hilarious to me because 1.) Tommy was planning on coming, Buck could've told Eddie he wanted to do a couple outfits with Tommy instead?, and 2.) Eddie was fishing for compliments and it just makes me giggle. If Buck wasn't so stressed out over this bachelor party, he likely would've reacted how Eddie wanted and given him a bunch of compliments on his look. It was jaw-dropping. If most of us (the audience) were blown away seeing Eddie in a pink suit for the first time in the bts (to the point where most of us were like "no way he's in character, this has to be Ryan's wardrobe choice"), I know that the other characters were too. It's not Eddie's typical wardrobe choice. In fact, it's such an out-of-character fashion choice for him, that it's unlikely that Eddie just had this lying around in his closet to throw on. He probably had to go and buy a suit like this just for the occasion. Eddie had to put in a lot of effort to do this couple's costume with Buck, and he did it all happily and enthusiastically. We'll come back to this in just a second because...

CLIPBOARD BUCK IS BACK! sans clipboard but you get my drift. I love how this visually connects Buck to his sister and harkens back to a lovely Buddie moment "This is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest" back in season 3. This time around, we have Eddie assuming he would get special husband privileges and is pouty when Buck doesn't allow it.

BUT at the same time, he's not getting on Buck's case too much about it beyond the initial pouting. He may not know why Buck's so insistent on throwing a party, but he knows it's what Buck wants, so he moves on, and even watches with somewhat amusement when clipboard Buck gets turned on Ravi for doing the same thing later.

I also want to point out that Eddie has never once, ever, been upset with, annoyed by, or irritated with Buck when he's in Clipboard Buck mode. Most of the time, Eddie either finds it amusing cute, or is just generally accepting of it. This is no exception, however, this later devolves into Buck and Eddie going absolutely wild. This further exemplifies how Buck and Eddie accept and support each other, even when the other is being lowkey stupid (everything they do at the bachelor party) or unreasonable (clipboard Buck). It's all very much partner in crime coded.

Framing. Jesus Christ the FRAMING. Tommy walks in and not even two seconds into the interaction, the camera frames Eddie FRONT AND CENTER between them, watching Buck and then watching Tommy. Buck and Tommy hug and when they pull back, there's Eddie watching them with an odd look on his face. I'm not going to go so far as to call this jealousy/pettiness, but it is odd. There's an intimate physical moment between Buck and Tommy, and then Eddie, who constantly haunts their narrative, is just there. And he's actually objecting to Tommy's presence there. Not in a mean or hostile way, but just a second ago he was high-fiving Tommy, welcoming him in, but once the physical special relationship between Buck and Tommy is established, Eddie starts to bristle a little bit.

This entire exchange is just odd. Eddie knows that Tommy is friends with Chim. He has every right to be there for Chim alone. He's also aware that Buck now has a closer relationship with Tommy, and Buck's the only one who wants this bachelor party, so it should be obvious that Tommy would come. And yet...Eddie is questioning Tommy's presence there. He's reducing Tommy to Buck's "date", not Eddie's friend or Chim's friend, or someone who's slowly integrating into the group. No, it only becomes a problem when Tommy is there as "Buck's date".

This is then proven by Tommy, who's actually known Chimney longer than either Buck or Eddie have known him. He has all the right to be invited. But what's especially interesting is Buck's face when Eddie starts expressing objections to Tommy's presence. He looks shocked, a little worried, loss for words. Like he's worried Eddie is disapproving of them. It could be worry lingering from last episode, where Buck was afraid of his queerness pushing Eddie away. It also showcases a bit of awkwardness between Tommy and Eddie too. Eddie has been established as enjoying spending time with Tommy, and now he's hesitant to have Tommy in spaces with Buck as a romantic partner. It demonstrates that maybe Eddie isn't as comfortable with Buck and Tommy together as he led Buck/the audience to believe. But where is that uncomfortablity stemming from? That's yet to be determined canonically.

Buck then goes on the deny that Tommy is his date (for the bachelor party) and insists that Tommy is only his date officially tomorrow at the wedding. I personally don't understand why Buck would need to clarify that Tommy isn't his date to the bachelor party. If they're dates for one, it's usually assumed they're dates for the other, especially given how close the events are. I get that Buck wants to make the night about Chimney, but it can be about Chimney and still have Tommy there as a date.

This is also an interesting line that I've pondered over. Because while it's true that taking Tommy as a date anywhere would be hard launching both Buck's queerness and his relationship with Tommy, which could draw attention away from Madney and to Buck, but it also shouldn't be that big of a deal (and is proven at the end of the episode too). If the wedding had gone to plan originally, then Buck and Tommy going together wouldn't have had to have drawn too much attention. He could've told Chim, Hen, his parents + everyone separately before the ceremony even began. It didn't have to be such a huge deal, so I was wondering why Eddie brings out the usual phrase the show tends to use when they want to remind Buck that not everything is about him. But Buck wasn't trying to make it about him. Eddie should know this. As much as Buck has had issues in the past of taking things far too personally, and believing things to be more about him than they actually are, that's not what is happening here.

I actually think Eddie saying this line is more revealing of Eddie's feelings than it is about Buck making it about him again. It's revealing that Buck, his relationship with Tommy, and Buck's queerness are a big deal to Eddie, enough so that he believes it will draw a lot of attention. And maybe Eddie's not as cool with the idea of everyone knowing about Buck and Tommy as he tells himself. I want to reiterate that I don't believe any of this stems from legit homophobia towards Buck and/or Tommy, but more so a discomfort Eddie harbors about Buck's queerness, what it means for Eddie, and what Buck being with Tommy takes away from Eddie. All of this is unconscious, confusing, and frustrating for Eddie, and therefore what comes out of Eddie's mouth is a barb at Buck's expense. And it's why his reaction to BuckTommy at the end of the episode is kind of muted but mostly positive. He's confused.

Buck had told Tommy previously that it was an 80s theme party and asked him to dress up. This brings me back to my previous point that Buck could've asked Tommy to dress up with him. Instead, Buck and Eddie are framed as the literal "couple" here visually, and Tommy is framed as the odd one out. Not only that, but what he is wearing is a Henley, which as most of us know, is a staple of Eddie's wardrobe. (General author's note: I don't usually harp on about wardrobe choices in the show because that's not my specialty but I will here because it is a textual part of the plot).

We've previously established in the last few episodes that Tommy is a narrative mirror to Eddie. Tommy's meant to be like Eddie in almost every way, same interests, similar personality types, etc. He's even paralleling Eddie here by dressing the same way Eddie normally dresses. But it's being juxtaposed by Eddie standing right beside him (once again Eddie is framed in the middle throughout this entire exchange with Buck/Tommy when Eddie very easily could've just stepped off to the side to let them have some privacy). EDDIE is dressed way differently than he usually is in a bright pink suit, going out of his way to make Buck happy even if it brings him out of his comfort zone wardrobe-wise. And in contrast, Tommy did not take the time to dress up, even though he knew Buck wanted him to. I'm not saying that this makes Tommy a bad person, or inconsiderate of Buck, but it's just one of those little things. One of those forethought things that Tommy just isn't aware of because he's only been dating Buck for a few weeks at this point.

Others have pointed out that Tommy would've had to change out of his clothes and into his uniform regardless if he was on standby, so why couldn't he have at least just added a little bit of 80s flair to his current outfit? It wouldn't have been any more time-consuming. Maybe it would've put Tommy out of his own comfort-zone, or maybe he would've been a bit embarrassed, but that's the kind of thing that one might reasonably risk in order to make their partner happy.

Tommy isn't aware that by not dressing up, he's hurting Buck's feelings. That's just one of those things he wouldn't know about Buck because he does not have the lived experience of what Buck needs emotionally from his partners. Eddie, on the other hand, has years of experience with Buck and knows that if he really wanted to he could be just like everyone else who didn't dress up and that Buck would put on a face of being fine with it, but deep down inside, it would make Buck feel ignored and hurt. Eddie doesn't want to ignore Buck, and as we've seen from his last line about "making it about you", Eddie can't ignore Buck. So even if it means pushing himself out of his comfort zone, Eddie's going to show up in full costume, ready and enthusiastic to be with Buck.

All of this is being done for a purpose. It's to show us that while Buck and Tommy are still learning and developing their relationship, something is off, specifically in comparison to Eddie. The show is purposely framing Eddie as a better partner to Buck than Tommy is being in the current moment. Which is kind of unfair, if you think about it. If the show was setting Tommy up to be Buck's newest love and future endgame, they would instead be giving them opportunities to grow together, to get to know each other. Instead, the show is telling us in every subtly way it can that hey, wouldn't Buck fit so much better with Eddie instead? It's contradictory and doesn't further the plot if BuckTommy growth was the purpose. These bachelor party scenes as plot devices only work if the purpose is to show the audience that something isn't fitting with Buck and Tommy, but whatever that missing piece is, it does fit with Buck and Eddie.

Tommy then doesn't understand that they're supposed to be dressed up as the Miami Vice characters. He instead assumes The Wedding Singer (1998). First, I want to say that this is the 2nd Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore romcom that's been mentioned in canon in relation to Buck (the first being 50 First Dates in the season 5 finale) and as a huge fan of those movies, I'm fangirling. Second, it aligns with Tommy's s2 characterization where he loves romcoms (Love, Actually, and now The Wedding Singer). Third, it's an interesting choice from the writers here to pick The Wedding Singer as the movie that springs to Tommy's mind. There are plenty of 80s movies with bright colors that could've been name-dropped. They instead purposely went for a movie about the 80s but made in the late 90s, for the express purpose of having Eddie point out that Tommy's wrong. This is all very subtle, but it definitely does feel like Eddie is trying to lowkey one-up Tommy. But why would he feel the need to do this?

I've seen others point this out as well, but The Wedding Singer is about two people who are engaged to other people who are very obviously not right for them, though they might try to convince themselves differently. I rewatched the movie yesterday morning and I found it very enlightening. Adam Sandler's character is very much in love with Drew Barrymore's character, and almost tells her to leave her fiance for him, but in the end, he assumes incorrectly that she's happy with the other guy, and leaves them be. Drew Barrymore's character was ready to settle with someone she didn't fully love for security, and the only reason she doesn't tell Adam Sandler's character the truth is because she thinks he's still in love with his ex. It's all very miscommunication-y, but at the same time, it's reflective of Buck and Eddie's characters currently too given that neither of them really knows what they're looking for, they're just seeking a feeling, and may or may not be finding it in their current respective partners. But in the end, even after all the miscommunications, there's a HEA in The Wedding Singer.

Something else of mention was how in the movie, Adam Sandler's character was asked how he knew that things weren't working out with his ex and he said something along the lines of "It was the little things. Like, one time we were going to the Grand Canyon, and I had never been there before and she had, and instead of letting me take the window seat in order to see the beauty of it from above, she took the window seat for herself." This reminded me of this scene with Tommy, where it's just the little things that aren't fitting between him and Buck. I will come back to the topic of BuckTommy and misalignment later.

There have been many posts discussing how Crockett and Tubbs are another one of those "manly" buddy-cop pairings who were very queer-coded best friends who obviously never got together. Many people believed Crockett to be bi-coded as well. What's interesting to me is that this marks the second/third time in the last two episodes where they argued about who is the bi-coded character. I just find it interesting meta-textually when you think about the fact that fans used to argue incessantly (still do honestly) about whether Buck or Eddie could be queer and now that Buck is confirmed to be queer, people argue that Eddie can't be queer now. Additionally (I don't watch Miami Vice but I looked at a lot of the pictures) it seems that visually, Eddie should be aware that he is dressed as Tubbs, since most of pictures of them feature Crockett in blue/green semi-casual and Tubbs in pink/elevated suits. Visually, their roles should be obvious to anyone who is familiar with the show. Just like how Buck's queerness is now obvious. But now, the argument is well, there's an argument to be made that Eddie could be Crockett, and subtextually, also queer.

The narrative continues to hint with every single episode that passes that it's very likely Eddie will discover his own queerness at some point in the show. Just like there's no need for Buck and Eddie to argue over who gets to be Crockett, they can both be Crockett for christ's sake, they're both gonna end up queer. Of that I am certain.

So not only was Eddie totally down to clown with Buck at this karaoke bachelor party, but he was the one who suggested the couple's costume. We see more instances of Eddie not trying to tell Buck "hey, Chim said he didn't want a party, so don't do it", instead he goes along with it and finds a way to be even more enthusiastic about it. And I don't think that that was just because Eddie really wanted to party. I think it was because Eddie realizes that Buck must be wanting to do this for a reason. Possibly Buck might be doing this because he wants to show Chimney just how supportive he is of him and Maddie, maybe it's because Buck never got to be too involved with Maddie's last wedding because Doug hated him. Maybe this is his way of trying to make up again for his actions in season 5 when Maddie left and Buck didn't tell Chim. Or hell, maybe it's just now hitting Buck that he's going to have a brother, for real now, after realizing all he lost with Daniel, and wants to make this day special for Chim to showcase his appreciation of their brotherhood.

Buck is obviously overcompensating for something, and Chim and the rest of the gang don't realize why the bachelor party is so important to Buck. Hell, Eddie might not know entirely either, but he does sense that there is something more than just "I want to party" going on with Buck and this bachelor party. And so, as always, he is ride or die for Buck.

Then, when everyone else gets up to leave karaoke, Eddie doesn't even get up. He doesn't make it look like he's also considering leaving either. He doesn't check his watch or phone or make it seem like it's a burden or an inconvenience to be there or like there's somewhere else he'd rather be.

Once again, this scene with Tommy and Buck is framed with Eddie clearly in the picture, to show how he's just chilling, drinking, and ready to stick it out with Buck regardless of what happens. And then Tommy is the last one to finally leave and disappoint Buck that night.

And now I want to bring it back to BuckTommy, misalignment, and the ever-present Screaming Universe. If this was real life, it would just be a coincidence, but it's not. This is scripted fiction and everything is done with a purpose. What purpose did the writers have to get rid of Tommy but keep Eddie around to party with Buck all night long? If the writers wanted, they could've had Tommy stick around, more so to show a juxtaposition between the three of them hanging out. Or the writers could've had Eddie leave, and Tommy stay. It would've served the same purpose. Tommy still could've left the next morning for work and come back sooty for the kiss. Instead, the story/universe wanted Tommy to leave and this undeniably creates a micro-conflict between Buck and Tommy. It's undeniable that Buck is disappointed that Tommy's leaving and that he didn't really seem all that enthused to be there in the first place. Tommy then leaves, he's gone for the majority of the episode and comes back at the end. This is now a pattern for the third time in a row.

In Tommy's introduction episode 7x04, he and Buck have a moment at the beginning of the episode, a conflict between Buck and Tommy is introduced, Tommy is there a couple times throughout but he and Buck do not have any one-on-one scenes again until the end where their "miscommunication" is resolved by their kiss. In 7x05, they have their date at the beginning where weirdness happens and Tommy ends it, is gone the rest of the episode, until he returns at the end for Buck to make up with and rekindle. And now in 7x06, Tommy is there at the beginning, there's a misconnection, Tommy leaves for the rest of the episode, and they reconnect at the very end.

That's three whole instances of conflict with BuckTommy all written in a very similar way back to back to back. All of these conflicts revolve around the theme of misalignment and not knowing what they want personally nor what the other person wants. All of this harkens back to that first little moment with Buck and Tommy in 7x03 where Buck pats Tommy's arm, Tommy reaches to connect their hands and misses. I predicted that this would be a metaphor for the rest of their relationship, and so far I've been right. Because it seems like no matter how hard both of them try, they aren't quite connecting, not to the fullest. There is always a conflict that pops up that pulls them apart every single episode and they have to find ways to resolve this at the end. Again, if this was irl it'd be a different story, but as part of a narrative where they're not only trying to showcase Buck's first-ever queer relationship but also strongly comparing it to his "platonic" relationship with Eddie, it feels pointed and poignant. Buck and Tommy's constant misalignment feels like the "universe" trying to tell them something but they're not yet at the point of understanding what.

I highly doubt Buck would've wanted to party with a bunch of strangers if he wasn't feeling so disappointed by both Tommy and Chim. Eddie too, I'm wondering why he didn't want to go home or go be with Chris and visit his family. Or maybe go and see if maybe Marisol wanted to hang out. In fact, Marisol not being in this episode at all, or even mentioned, after the last episode is telling as well.

Many people have pointed out that the karaoke scene parallels Maddie and Chim, and this is even more pointed when the song that is playing when Maddie and Chim get married is Island in the Stream which is the song they first sang karaoke to. Buck and Eddie we know sing "What I Like About You" by the New Romantics, which Oliver, Ryan, and Tim all described as the best song for them to sing to/with each other at this point in time. I still think of it as canon even though we didn't hear it (I get why, they had little time and also licensing is expensive). This song is a romantic song, that's undeniable, and it also makes me think of Shrek and Fiona so it's double iconic. It's also an interesting choice in the moment where Buck is at a low emotional point, and Eddie chooses to stick around with him, indulge with him, and have fun together. It really is a great moment to show how not only are they there for each other in serious and emotional moments, but they also just enjoy spending time with each other, and would choose to spend time with each other any time they can.

Now I wanna talk about just how close physically Buck and Eddie get in this episode. For a lot of us, it's kind of whiplash because while Buck and Eddie have hugged and touched before, never so much in this way, or this much, or this intimately. Buck has his arm around Eddie's neck, their faces closer than they've probably ever been before? Buck is literally whispering into Eddie's ear ("keep on whispering in my ear, tell me all the things that I wanna hear because it's true, that's what I like about you") pulling Eddie into his chest. Eddie's leaning his entire upper body onto Buck, resting most of his weight on Buck. They're pressed together thigh to thigh, leaning their knees on each other. All of this demonstrates not just an emotional closeness, but a physical closeness (thank you, ABC, fuck u Fox), and not only that but an intimate physical closeness. All of this coming right after an episode where Buck came out. I love this because it shows a lack of Eddie being weirded out by being physically close to a queer man as a (seemingly) straight man. But it's also just so telling because Buck and Eddie have not been this physically close before....like ever...in this show. And now they are at the turning point of Buck's queerness being made textual and Eddie's queerness being STRONG subtext? Oh my goodness it's such strong storytelling.

This might be reading into it, and I acknowledge that, but this dialogue exchange felt to me less like they were talking about all the nameless people who were around them and more so like they were talking about each other. These are strangers, they don't know Chim, let alone love him. Neither do these people know/love Buck or Eddie. Instead, this conversation reads to me more like Buck talking about how Chim should be here because his friends (Buck, Eddie, Hen, etc) love him, and Eddie agrees. Looking even deeper, given that Chim didn't show up and the rest of their friends left them for the night, this feels more like Buck and Eddie talking about themselves. Because why is Eddie here? There's no reason for Eddie to be here partying it up except for the fact that he loves Buck and he wants to make him happy and enjoys spending time with him. This exchange is Buck recognizing that, and Eddie agreeing that he really, really does love Buck. And that's why their shenanigans continue as they all move on to Chim's hotel room.

They could've given up/left once Chim's door was locked, but Eddie encourages Buck to keep on going. Touching Buck like how Eddie loves to touch Buck, in the way that's most appropriate for them, on the shoulder like this. Then he kicks the door in and when Buck is ready to go wake Chim up to party, Eddie's like "Eh let him sleep", because, for Eddie, he doesn't really need Chimney around to have fun. Despite what they were just saying about bringing the party to Chimney so that Chimeny could feel the love too, Eddie's perfectly content just partying it up with Buck and only Buck.

These three clips in the bachelor party montage....I'm just gonna be frank with you, they're so obviously meant to look sexual. So CONTENT WARNING**** for me about to talk about sexual positions and such.

I don't have to tell you that although Buck and Eddie are technically partying with a bunch of other people, none of them are actually important. They're NPCs there to give Buck and Eddie an excuse to do all of this stuff with each other. So everything they do in this scene is more so a reflection of their relationship with each other, as well as their metaphorical queerness than it is about just general partying.

We know (due to bts) that at some point Eddie was leaning over to pour alcohol into Buck's mouth. It looks like Buck is leaning back on the couch in his most favorite/frequent canonical sex position (girl on top/riding) that we've seen in the past. This time with his mouth wide open with a phallic symbol pouring a liquid directly into his mouth. It looks like a blowjob/cum shot. Then we have Eddie with his clothes being pulled off and torn away. From the bts, we know that Buck is behind him and helps the girls pull off his sleeves. Other than the obvious "ripping each other's clothes off" metaphor, there's also the "orgasmic" look on Eddie's face as well. Others have also discussed how Eddie appears to be recreating the "crucifixion pose" /Jesus on the cross with his arms out like that in a reference to his catholic guilt arc and how before he's very much let that guilt control him and now in this scene with his close being ripped off, it can also be a metaphor for Eddie's eventually freedom from compulsory heterosexuality and guilt.

The last still with both Buck and Eddie vigorously shaking champagne bottles near the crotches (mimicking mutual masturbation) and then both of the champagne bottles "explode" mimicking both of them reaching a mutual climax, which then cuts immediately to both of them waking up the next morning. It's very very obviously a metaphorical gay sex scene.

Separately from that, I want to discuss this specific still, with both Buck and Eddie in between 2 very clear-as-day drag queens. This inclusion elevates the scene subtly yet very clearly to represent both Buck AND Eddie in proximity to queerness/the queer community. It further cements the queerness of this entire montage scene.

Finally, to conclude the bachelor party scenes, I just want to reiterate, that Buck and Eddie could've figured out Chim was missing any which way. They could've gone over the next morning w/o partying there. Buck could've gone by himself, etc. There were many ways the "Chim is missing" plot could've been done without needing to go this route for Buck/Eddie. Which means that this plot was not for any necessary reason other than to bring Buck and Eddie together.

Then while they're going on their chase to find Chimney, Buck and Eddie are paired up together the entire time, working together as a team, once again looking more like an established couple than anything else.

Then, as if fitting with the BuckTommy "beginning and ending only" episode pattern, Tommy comes back only at the very end of the episode, and he and Buck kiss, transferring soot onto Buck's face and providing a very quick and easy way to come out to all the rest of the people who haven't yet known about Buck. Most people look surprised, others smug (Henren, we'll get to them) and Eddie gives an interesting close-lipped smile. This moment in and of itself isn't very loud. His face is purposely vague here (hats off to Ryan, king of microexpressions). Of course, Eddie's going to look happy for them, he's not going to look jealous. But his smile could be brighter, his eyes could be warmer. There's again just something off about his expression there. I think it's confusing for a reason, because Eddie too is confused about everything he's feeling.

Hen is incredibly smart, so I'm not surprised that she clocked Buck's queerness a while ago. Her telling Karen this, and Karen's agreement means that this is something they likely discussed in private as well. In my opinion, if she was able to clock Buck, there's no way she hasn't also clocked Eddie. She just isn't saying anything because she's a respectful and empathetic person.

Hen wasn't really there for most of Buck's Tommy-arc, but she WAS front and center for all of Eddie's "performance anxiety" around dating women. Trust me, when Eddie figures it out and he and Buck finally get together, Henren will say something along these lines again, I'm certain of it.

And that's the end of this episode! It was such an emotional ride! I loved everything they did with Maddie and Chimney, and the Buddie plot was so fun! I had a blast, and I'm so excited for next week! I get the feeling the latter half of the season is gonna dive deeper into Eddie's storylines. Yay!

#911 abc #buddie #911 analysis #911 meta #buddie meta #BuckTommy #buck x eddie #meta

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joels-shitty-puns · 11 months

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Could I make a request please?

Either a Joel or Pedro x Reader, where he is head over heels for the reader who is really bubbly and sweet and happy and a mom friend for everyone but who is oblivious to any romantic overtures whatsoever? And where Joel or Pedro catch them crying for the first time ever and they try and hide it and go back to cooking for the friend group or whatever and Joel/Pedro get the reader to open up about what made them cry and essentially it's that someone turned them down on a dating app and it's just further confirmation that the reader will never find love or actually be a mom? Plus-sized reader preferred but definitely not required? And your choice on if it's smutty or not.

I've been reading your plus sized reader x Pedro series and loving it!!! So much emotion and genuine positivity that I couldn't help but ask for more when I felt a bit down about this today.

All my best!

Dear @jenniferpendragon,

Hi!!! I've never had a request before, I didn't know what to do with myself. Thank you. And thank you so much for your kind words about my musician fic! I'm so glad people like it.

I'm sorry you were feeling down today. If by "this" you mean you experienced the dating app situation, I'm so sorry. Love is out there for you. I know how hard it is to wait, feeling like nobody wants you, but I know it'll happen. Hang in there. ❤️

I hope you like this fic! I liked your prompt and my mind ran wild. It's way longer than I thought it would be and also I'm unsure about it, but hopefully it makes you feel a little better.

___________

Cookies 'n Scream

Pairing: No-Outbreak!Joel Miller x Plus-sized!Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY!! MDNI. Poor body image, fat shaming, food guilt, food mentions, unprotected P in V, oral, kissing, fingering, pregnancy mention, baby making sex (?), I think that's all of it but if I missed something let me know.

Other stuff: Reader is AFAB. In case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

This is the first smut I've ever written and published, yikes. Hope it's decent.

__________

"Look what I bought today," you chimed in a sing-song voice while waving the DVD in front of Joel.

"No way. Zombie Slayer 6?!" Joel and Tommy yelled in unison.

"Yep! You know it!" you beamed. "I say tonight we pop this bad boy in. Tomorrow's Halloween, it's perfect."

"YES!" chimed in Sarah and Ellie, Joel's daughter and adopted daughter, roughly the same ages in their early teens.

"Absolutely not! You two are too young for this gore, you'll be up for weeks." Maria pointedly gave an eyebrow to her husband Tommy. "You guys watch the movie, I'll take the kids and we have a girl's night. We can watch Practical Magic and make cookies. Then tomorrow we'll all go trick-or-treating." The girls were pleased with this compromise and began running up to their bedrooms, chatting frantically about their costumes and which houses were allegedly going to have full-size candy bars this year.

"Really? Zombie movies? They're just kids. They aren't old enough to deal with that kind of thing," Maria said to you, judging your lack of parenting skills.

"Sorry…" you said sheepishly.

Truthfully, Halloween was your favorite holiday and always has been. You loved the spooky aspect of it, but you also loved that you could be anyone you wanted, if only for a night. For once you weren't just "the fat girl" or whatever other mean things people thought about you. You could be Wonder-Woman, or Ariel, the Grim Reaper, or a ghost. You could even eat all the sugary snacks you wanted and nobody questioned it, because Halloween was a time to indulge in candy.

If there's one thing you're sad you didn't get to enjoy on Halloween, it was the thought of being with someone you love. You'd always wanted someone to dress up in a couples costume together. Or go to a pumpkin patch for a cute little date and pick pumpkins together. You'd even dreamed about someday having a little pumpkin of your own. Picking out a little baby costume, taking them out door to door while they tried to say "trick or treat" but didn't quite know how to say such big words yet. The thought of them getting spooked by a scary decoration and running back to their daddy's arms. Your handsome brave husband, holding them close and shushing them, rubbing their little back to make it all okay. Finally the three of you would go home, tuck the little one in, sort through the candy and maybe take some for the parent tax. Then you'd flop down on the bed together before sharing a different kind of treat.

Knocking you out of your daydream, the girls ran down the stairs, backpacks on their backs, still loudly chatting about Halloween. You sighed, Maria taking the kids out towards her house.

Tommy clapped his hands together excitedly and grabbed his phone and keys. "I'm picking us up a pizza. You two better not start this damn movie without me," he warned, gesturing with his fingers from his eyes to yours and then across to his brother's before ducking out the door. You laughed and headed towards the kitchen, starting to make a quick batch of cookies before Tommy returned. Joel stood awkwardly trying to help, but mainly was just sneaking bites of dough. "Knock it off Joel! There won't be any cookies left with you around." You elbowed him while he popped another glob into his mouth with a laugh.

You rolled your eyes while he argued with you. "Whatever. My brother doesn't need these cookies anyway. He doesn't deserve your bakin', darlin'." He ate more dough.

You couldn't help but feel your chest flutter with butterflies at his nickname, but you tried to ignore them. "Oh yeah, and what about me?" You pouted up at him. "Don't I deserve any cookies?"

He put his finger on his lip as if deep in thought. "Hmmm… I dunno darlin'. Not sure if I could handle you if you get much sweeter." He winked.

"But I guess you deserve some too.." he plopped a wad of dough into your mouth, running his finger on your lip as he pulled his hand away.

You smiled, cheeks feeling warm, and chewing the soft, sugary dough.

"Oh, Joel. You're too much.." you avoided his eyes, looking down at the mixer and pretending to be busy with the cookies.

Why can't I get a man like Joel? You thought to yourself.

Two years ago, you had moved into your new house and met your neighbors, Tommy and Maria, Maria still very pregnant at the time. The three of you became fast friends and it wasn't long before you met Tommy's brother Joel. You were instantly enamored with him. His curly brown hair, mixed with silvery gray streaks, and those deep, gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. Although he could be a grump at times, it was mainly with his brother or his job, and he never showed it towards you. To you he was as sweet as the cookies you were eating.

You instantly developed a little crush on him and it seemed like he was over at his brother's house, or yours, more often than not. The two of you spent time together alone as well, watching movies, talking, doing whatever. Things felt so simple with him, and you knew he would always be there if you needed help with anything. With him, you never felt fat. You never felt ugly. You didn't feel self-conscious. You were just you. He was just him.

As your friendship progressed, your crush developed quickly into love. But you knew deep down there was no way he could ever feel the same. He was too handsome and charming to ever go for a woman like you, so you pushed down your feelings as best as you could, and even tried some dating apps to try and find someone else to fill the empty space in your heart.

What you didn't know was that Joel was absolutely head-over-heels, smitten with you, from the moment he laid eyes on you at his brother's backyard barbecue. Sure he loved his brother, but nobody wants to spend that much time at their sibling's house. He came over constantly, hoping to see you, until eventually you became close enough that he didn't have to make a scene at his brother's house to get your attention. He could just go to yours.

Tommy constantly teased him about it, and Maria couldn't help but notice the way you looked at Joel either. Even the kids could tell. The girls loved you like a mother, though you'd never see it. It seemed that it was obvious to everyone but you and him. Joel would flirt, try to gently touch you, be sweet, but you never picked up on it. Although you never pushed away his attempts, you never seemed to reciprocate either, so Joel just figured you didn't like him that way. But he couldn't help flirting, touching, staring at you. And if you didn't protest, he didn't plan to stop. He couldn't if he tried.

While the two of you talked, the cookies, what was left of them, baked in the oven. Finally Tommy came in, two large pizzas in hand. "Now I better not see that movie playing! I warned you two."

He noticed the black television screen and wandered to the kitchen. "Good. You waited for me- oh man! You made cookies? My favorite," he said with grabby hands towards the first pan, still cooling on the stove.

"Now, don't spoil your dinner. You just brought pizza home, let's eat." You shot a knowing look with Joel after the two of you were practically full already with cookie dough.

"Fine. Whatever, mom." Tommy took a plate from you, sliding a piece of pizza onto his plate and heading towards the couch.

_____

An hour into the movie, you were all full with pizza and dessert, Tommy in the sofa chair on the side, you and Joel settled into the love seat. You leaned towards his right side, his right arm over the back of your seat. A blanket covered the two of you, and his left hand was crossed over his lap on top of the blanket, hoping you would hold it if you got scared. Whenever a jump scare did happen, you didn't grab for him, but at the slightest flinch, he would palm your knee, rubbing his thumb over you to calm you down. Such a nice guy. I'm so lucky to have him as my friend.

Once when Joel did this, Tommy caught the sight out of the corner of his vision. He rolled his eyes and gave a gagging face. Joel gave him a quick angry brother stare that made Tommy turn back toward the film.

At some point, you felt your pocket buzz. Peering under the blanket at your screen, you saw the little heart notification, letting you know it was one of the dating apps you downloaded. Heart beating faster, you excused yourself saying you wanted to get a drink. Upon entering the kitchen, you quickly opened the notification with shaky hands. You had sent out at least a half dozen matches to people, all turned down the second they saw your profile. The most recent had sent a message as well. "Seriously? Ur gross. Good luck finding anyone to date you lmao." Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at your body and pinched the fat of your stomach. You had four apps and had sent countless requests, matches, and swipes. Even guys who were big themselves had turned you down. You looked in the kitchen at the pile of cookies, the mostly empty pizza boxes, the bowl of Halloween candy. If the boys weren't here, you'd toss it all in the trash. You suddenly felt self-conscious. Your clothes were tight, your body was heavy and flabby, and you almost felt nauseous. The first sting of tears welled at your eyes, and you dashed off to your bedroom, hoping to quell these emotions before anyone would notice. You weren't ready to go back to the living room.

After a couple minutes, Joel had paused the TV to wait for your return. "She probably had to pee or something. Said she was gettin' a drink." Tommy nodded and the two of them talked. After about ten minutes had passed, Joel began to worry. Even Tommy began to wonder and finally said "where'd your girlfriend end up? It's been a while."

Joel shook his head at Tommy's name for you, but got up off the couch. "I'll go see what's up." He walked into the kitchen and didn't see you, so he kept walking through the house before finally starting upstairs. "Darlin'? You okay?" He still didn't see you, but upon approaching your bedroom door, he heard a soft sniffle.

He gently tapped on the door with his index finger's knuckle. "Sweetheart?" Your sniffling stopped and you quickly wiped your eyes, trying to hide your tears as he slowly opened the door.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to make you guys wait, I was just changing into some comfier clothes." He noticed you had switched from your favorite dress to some sweats and a baggy hoodie. You still looked beautiful to him, though he was a bit confused at the change. "I'll be right down, why don't you go start the movie again." He crossed the room to sit next to you on the bed. "I'm not going to start the movie. What's wrong, darlin'?"

You pouted, trying to choke back more tears, but his gentle brown eyes made it hard to keep your emotions inside. Joel cupped your cheek, running his thumb gently under your eyes and catching a tear that made it past your walls. You'd never cried in front of Joel before. You made it a goal of yours to try and hide any sad emotions from people, especially him.

"I don't want to ruin the night, Joel. It's nothing. Let's just go back downstairs. I'll be right behind you."

Joel stood up and nodded his head, walking out the door and closing it gently behind him.

You didn't think he'd actually leave. But it shouldn't surprise you. Who wouldn't leave you?

An aggressive sob ripped through your chest.

_____

Joel walked downstairs, joining his brother.

"You find her?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah I did. Look, she's not feeling too good right now. I think it's best we call it a night."

"Ah, man. She sick or somethin'?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah somethin' like that. I'll stay and take care of her. Can you maybe keep the kids tonight?" Joel answered, ushering Tommy out the door. Tommy gave him a look, but nodded and walked out the door towards his own house.

Joel closed the door behind him and walked back upstairs, stopping to grab a glass of water for you on the way. He knocked gently again before entering your bedroom, and you turned around, surprised to see him. "Joel? I thought you were watching the movie?"

"Nah, darlin' I could never leave you when you're upset. I sent Tommy home and he's gonna watch the girls tonight. Here, I brought you some water." He sat the water on the nightstand. "Now, you wanna tell me why you're cryin'?" He sat next to you, rubbing your back gently.

You took a sip of the water, set it back down on the nightstand, and sighed, looking down at your hands in your lap which held your cell phone.

"Well, I uh…" you cleared your throat gently. "I recently joined some dating apps..."

Joel's heart took a slight stab, but he pushed it down. You're the one needing comfort, not him.

"I guess, I dunno… I know it's kinda silly, but I've been feeling kinda lonely and y'know... I'm getting older. I'm running out of time to have babies. But, I really just want someone to call mine. Someone to laugh with and go on dates with and…" you tapered off, not wanting to admit your desire for cuddles, kisses, and love-making.

"Oh, sweet girl," he held you in his arms. "That's nothing to feel shy or silly about. It's natural to want those things. But why are you cryin'? Did somethin' happen?"

"I just… I haven't gotten any matches. Everyone I've sent anything to has denied me, and-" you sniffled and Joel pulled you tighter. "Shh, shh, sweet girl, it's okay. Those people on those apps, they don't know what they're missin' out on. They don't see how beautiful and sweet y'are. They wouldn't know how to treat you right anyway. If they can't see how wonderful you are, they don't deserve to be with ya anyway."

"Thank you Joel…" you muttered. "But… it's not just that. I got a message when we were watching the movie and I went into the kitchen to read it, and-" you handed him your phone with a sniffle. Joel pulled away from you, holding the phone back a bit to read it with his bad vision. As he read it, his jaw and fists clenched. It may have been the first time Joel saw you cry, but it was also the first time Joel got angry when it was just the two of you.

"If I knew where this asshole little boy lived, I'd go over there right now and kick his ass for saying something like that to you" he seethed. "I can't believe anyone would say something like that to you."

You picked at a hangnail on your finger, still staring at your lap. Finally Joel took a breath and looked at you again. "Darlin'. You don't - you don't believe that guy do you?" He asked while rubbing your back again.

"Maybe…" you felt tears run down your cheeks. "I mean, he's right, isn't he? I'm not attractive or skinny. Nobody wants me, not even any of these guys on this app. Even the guys who aren't skinny don't want me either."

"Sweetheart. That's just not true. Look at me-" he lifted your chin with his left hand, right arm still holding you close. You hesitantly met his gaze, your wet eyes looking into his gentle browns. "Those men, if you even wanna call them that, they wouldn't know what beautiful was if it slapped them across the face. You're the most beautiful, sweet, funny woman I've ever met. Any man would be lucky to have you." He took a deep breath before admitting, "I'd be lucky to have you."

"What-?" You interrupted him.

"Darlin'... I never want to push your boundaries, but you don't see how often I flirt with you, tease you, and touch you? You don't see how smitten I am with you?" You frowned, brows furrowing as you picked through your memory. "I thought you were just a nice guy. Just a friend. I didn't… I didn't think you could ever like me as more than a friend, so I just ignored the butterflies I got around you."

You searched his eyes, waiting for a joke, or your alarm to go off and wake you up from this dream.

"Sweetheart, I've been in love with you since just about the time I saw you walk across my brother's lawn towards me. I just figured y'wasn't interested in me that way."

"Joel," you laughed. "I've felt the same way."

He smiled, once again tilting your chin, yet this time pressing his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, but held so much love and meaning, that the two of you couldn't help but smile in the middle of it. He pulled away, "and by the way, y'aren't old either. If anyone's old here, it's me. But if you want babies, I'll give you all the babies you want. But you already got two girls who love you. Sometimes I think they even love y'more than me," he laughed.

You smiled at him and nodded "I do love those girls like they're my own. But I would still like a little baby someday too."

He kissed you again, more passionately this time, licking your lip until you opened up and let your tongues dance together. He pulled away, running his nose across your jaw before stopping at your ear. "Only one way to give you that, darlin'." He gently bit your earlobe before kissing down your neck.

You sighed. "Joel… please."

"Please, what darlin'?" He purred, kissing your clavicle through your baggy shirt.

"Please, make love to me" you answered breathlessly, tipping your head back so he could better access your neck.

"Take these baggy clothes off then, baby. Lemme see you," he gave you one last kiss on the lips before the two of you began undressing, stopping every few seconds to share grabby kisses. Once undressed, he pulled you into him and kissed you deeply, your hands on his chest. With a swift move, he tumbled the two of you sideways so that you were now on the bed, him on his back and you straddling his hips. You leaned down, kissing his lips, while the slight movement against his waist caused you both to moan at the feeling. "Baby I've wanted this for so long. Let me take care of you," Joel whispered, thumb stroking your cheek. He flipped the two of you over, slithering down towards your waist, where you spread your legs for him. He groaned, looking at how evident it was you wanted him, pumping his already hard cock a few times. Flattening himself on his stomach, he gently touched your thighs and began to kiss your legs. "Y'sure you still want this, baby?"

"Yes Joel, please" you answered, tense with anticipation. Without a beat, he tipped his head down, licking a stripe up your slit. You let out a sigh, hips bucking toward his face. "I know baby, I know." His low timbre vibrated through your core. He gave a quick peck to your clit before swirling his tongue around it and heading downwards, licking between your folds while his nose continued to put pressure on your clit.

His fingers slid through, touching your entrance in a questioning way. "Yes, Joel, please" you cried, wiggling closer, your hands tugging at his hair.

With your pleas, he inserted his finger, curling upwards before adding a second and finally hitting that spot inside you that made your breathing catch in your chest. He stroked, while still licking gently, occasionally sucking on your clit. Before long you were gripping the sheets with one hand, his hair in your other, as you finally tumbled into your orgasm. "So beautiful, baby" he coaxed, licking you through the waves of pleasure.

"Think you're ready for me?" He looked up at you over your plush tummy. "Yes, Joel, please I'm so ready."

He stalked over your body, kissing his way up. He kissed your vulva, "I love this," he purred. He kissed your stomach, running his hands across your sides. "I love this," he licked. "I love these," he massaged your breasts, kissing each nipple. "I love you" he finally looked you in the eyes, kissing you on the lips deeply.

"I love you too." You kissed him back, running your hands through his messy hair, down his broad shoulders and back. His hand snaked around, grabbing his cock and giving a few strokes through your folds until he was wet enough. Finally he pushed against your entrance, slowly entering you, giving you enough time to adjust to his size. Your fingers clawed at his back as he finally pushed all the way in, the two of you sighing in relief.

Your body adjusted, and with a kiss to his nose, you prompted him to move. "Okay Joel, I'm ready."

Slowly, he began to thrust, pulling slowly out and gently pushing back in, eventually picking up to a pleasurable pace. He kissed you like his lips couldn't be away for longer than a few seconds, and it didn't take much before you were barreling towards your second release of the evening. "I'm almost there, Joel" you kissed, grabbing him around his back. "Me too, baby. Come for me." His thrusts were getting sloppy, but you could tell he was holding himself back for you. His fingers drifted over your clit, giving a few circular strokes and causing you to shudder around him, your eyes slamming shut with a moan. He followed right behind you, a couple messy strokes before pumping into you, filling you up and working you both through it. As the two of you came down from your high, he kissed you passionately, holding you like you were the only thing in the world.

The two of you lay on your sides, you snuggled into his chest, his chin resting on your head before eventually he became soft and slipped out of you. You both sighed at the loss, but held each other until you rolled out to use the restroom and clean up. When you returned from the bathroom, you asked if he wanted to stay and he said yes.

You lent him an extra toothbrush and the two of you stood side by side, brushing your teeth and stealing glances at each other in the mirror with matching lovesick smiles. Things felt domestic and comfortable as the two of you walked back to bed, sharing soft kisses snuggled to each other. Having completely forgotten why you were upset earlier, you fell asleep curled into his arms, full of love and hope for the future with a man you loved.

_____

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and breakfast cooking. You strolled down the stairs and saw Joel, wearing just his boxers and tee shirt, grabbing a slice of toast from the toaster.

At the sound of your steps, he turned and smiled softly. "Morning, baby."

"Good morning, handsome," you replied, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I could get used to that," Joel replied, squeezing your ass and pulling his face away to look in your eyes.

"Joel! You devil," you giggled, gently smacking his arm. "You ain't seen nothing yet, baby" he nibbled your jaw.

After the two of you ate breakfast, you shared a shower, and he threw on a pair of extra clothes he keeps in his car. It would be hard to keep his visit a secret from his brother with his car still in your driveway, but as far as Tommy was concerned, you were sick and Joel was taking care of you.

The two of you made the walk over to Tommy's house to get the girls and participate in Halloween activities for the day. Walking in the door, Tommy pulled you into a hug. "Hey, we were worried about you! Are you feeling better? Were you sick?"

You looked up at Joel, sharing a knowing look. "I was just a little upset about something, but I'm feeling much better now," you smiled.

Tommy gasped. "FINALLY!!!!" He threw his hands in the air while Maria grinned.

"Cough it up Tommy!" Sarah held out her hand to her uncle. "You know I had October." He handed her a five dollar bill.

"You bet money on us?" Joel asked in disbelief, rubbing your back.

"Obviously. You guys have both been pining since you first met," Ellie answered, rolling her eyes. "It was too entertaining for us to interfere though," Sarah added with a smirk.

You stared down at your shoes, feeling embarrassed, but Joel grabbed your hand. You smiled up at him and it felt like everything was aligned. "Yep, we finally took the step. And now I get to do this whenever I want," Joel pulled you into his arms for a deep kiss.

"UGH. GROSS, DAD." Ellie and Sarah groaned, walking out of the room.

You both laughed, sharing a smile and heading towards the group to get ready for Halloween with your family.

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chaos-is-beautifvl · 11 months

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𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨) 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲…

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: steve harrington x fem!reader, possible eddie munson x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you have a secret. that secret has been shared with only two people - your diary and your best friend, just not the one it’s about. but what happens when your secret isn’t so secret anymore?

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠: wheeler!reader, angst, so much drama, special appearance: eddie, we do not like carol or tommy in this fic, possibly unrequited love (sorry y’all)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.3k (4343)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 💌: requested by anon a few months back. the request originally asked for byers!reader but i saw nancy and thought they asked for wheeler!reader. i had written 3000 words exactly, and the thought of changing it gave me serious writer’s block. nevertheless, here it is. very plot heavy bc i wanted to show reader and steve’s relationship. enjoy!

p.s. check out my writing here and my other steve story: dancing’s not a crime here

Being a Wheeler is a heck of a job.

As the second oldest of four children, you don’t know whether to consider yourself the middle child or the outcast. You’ll go with the latter. After all, much to your mother’s chagrin, those are the types of people you spend most of your time with.

The only exception is the one and only Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle the two of you even became friends. But all thanks to your chemistry teacher, who thought the two of you would be a perfect pair, or at least, she only paired you two together because Steve was goofing around, and you were adamant about working alone.

Either way, since then, you and Steve have become best buds. Such an unlikely pair turned heads and brought about glares and eye rolls. But, being who you are and given that your best friend is Eddie Munson, the looks and whispers don’t phase you.

Your life is going well. Your grades are improving - you only get the occasional B, which is great because now your mom is off your case. You’re closer to your little brother, which is a feat because he and his friends are rowdy. And you have two incredible best friends who annoy the crap out of you. Other than that, you have no issues.

Actually, you do have an issue. Your issue is currently climbing through your bedroom window.

You lazily watch as Steve clambers into your room. His movements are clumsy and all over the place. If your record player played a quieter track, he’d give himself away.

Once he rights himself, he gives you a wide grin, and you make a point to blink at him, a silent communication of ‘what the hell’?

Steve heads over to your vanity, one that has papers and books haphazardly scattered across it. He bends down to check out his hair, shaping it together as if the tons of Farrah Fawcett hairspray he uses isn’t damn near gluing the strands together.

“Hello to you too, Harrington. What a joy it is to see you tonight.” Your tone is about as dry as burnt toast, prompting Steve to look at your unamused expression through the mirror.

“You’re pissed…” The way he tests the words indicates that he isn’t sure why you’re looking at him the way you are. You huff, nodding in response.

“Why are you even here?”

“Uh…” Steve finally turns away from the mirror to properly look at you. While you seem pissed off, he’s known you long enough to know it’s something else. “What, can’t see my favorite girl?”

“No, Steve, you can’t because you’re always here for Nancy!”

His mouth falls open at your words, making you regret airing your grievances. That’s until he smiles all lopsided-like, and your heart betrays you by beating a little faster than it should.

“You jealous or something?”

Your eye twitches, and you sigh as you fall back on your bed. “You’re awful, you know?” You hear a laugh, and your heart pitter-patters again, betraying you. “And I’m not ‘jealous or something’.” You make your voice octaves deeper to mimic him. “I’m just annoyed.”

The bed dips when Steve joins you. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry.” You don’t look convinced, and he nudges you. “I’m serious. I might be dating your sister, but you’re still my favorite Wheeler.”

“Whatever. I still don’t believe you. But go before Nancy has a fit.”

“Fine, fine. Rush me, why don’t you?” He hovers by your door, listening to ensure the coast is clear. Before he heads out, he winks at you, giving one of his signature charming grins. “See you later, Wheeler.”

You can’t stop a grin of your own from emerging as you raise a hand as if you’re going to wave. Instead, you flip the bird, “Get out, Harrington.”

Once he leaves, you grab a pillow, burying your face inside to scream. Of all people, why do you have a crush on him? That’s a question answered when you pull out your diary, writing down the feelings you’ll never confess.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Though Steve hadn’t said he’d spend more time with you, he did make an effort. He even went as far as joining you and your friends instead of his own for lunch.

You’re having a conversation with Steve when someone calls him over. Annoyance tugs at you, but before Steve goes, he makes a point to salute you. The simple gesture makes you smile like a schoolgirl, and Eddie quickly calls you out.

“This is sickening to watch.” The brunet pretends to vomit, covering his eyes like a distressed maiden.

Your smile quickly wipes away as you roll your eyes, tossing a grape at Eddie, who somehow manages to catch it in his mouth - the lucky bastard.

“Don’t get mad at me because you’re in love with-” Before he can finish his sentence, you slap your hands over his mouth, shushing.

“-Be quiet!”

Eddie peels your hands off him, rolling his lips to prevent his laughter from escaping. “I wasn’t going to say you know who’s name. No need to attack me.”

“Yet, for some reason, I don’t believe you.”

Eddie starts chuckling at your tone, and you swat at him, laughter bubbling in your chest. “Stop laughing, you ass.”

From afar, Steve watches the two of you laugh. He’s trying to figure out why his chest feels tight when Carol waves her hand to get his attention.

He directs his gaze to the ginger, who smacks her gum loudly. “What is up with you and those Wheelers? First, you’re friends with one. And now, you’re dating one.”

Tommy chimes in, “Yeah, man. Still can’t believe your friends with that freak.”

Steve isn’t able to defend himself when Carol interrupts. “Tommy’s right, Steve. Nancy was already a stretch, but that freak-” She smacks her gum again, nodding her head over to you. “-she’s a basketcase.”

Now, Steve is used to his friends and their judgmental ways. And, though he has a long way to go, he can acknowledge that he’s changed from the ignorant guy who picked on anyone who wasn’t cool enough. Part of - no - a good majority of that change is thanks to one person - you. So, hearing his assholes of friends calling you a freak and making it seem like being around you is hell on Earth riles him up all the wrong ways.

“Shut the hell up.” Steve scoffs, crossing his arms. He looks over at you, and you’re gesticulating as you recount a story to your friends. Steve’s reminded of how amazing you are as they smile and laugh.

“You assholes don’t even know the first thing about her. She’s the best damn person I’ve ever met, and she’s leagues better than both of you without feeling the need to tear down everybody else that breathes.”

Steve turns back to Tommy and Carol, his harsh glare rivaling their shocked expressions. All Carol can do is slowly chew her gum, looking around as if waiting for someone to snap Steve back to his old self.

“You know what? I don’t have time for this. You can plan the goddamn party on your own.” With that, Steve walks away before he says something extreme and heads back to your table.

“I don’t know about you, Tommy,” Carol blows a bubble with her gum, “But I really don’t like her.”

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You’re by your locker, sifting through your notebooks and chatting with Eddie, when Steve joins you. Being as keen as you are, the odd look Steve gives Eddie doesn’t go unnoticed. You have half a mind to comment, but Steve speaks before you can.

“You’re coming to the party, right?” Steve asks as he leans against the lockers next to yours.

You roll your eyes in annoyance. There’s a party every day, it seems. You shut your locker before turning to Steve. “How about no?”

“Aw, c’mon, it’ll be a total drag without you there, you know?” Steve lays the charm on thick as he sports a heart-clenching grin. But you’ve learned not to act on those lovey-dovey feelings to protect your sanity.

“If it’ll be such a drag, how about you don’t go…?” Eddie offers, reminding you of how awesome a friend he is. He’s always there to pull you out of situations you don’t want to find yourself. And going to a party with Steve, and undoubtedly his horrendous friends, is not your cup of tea.

“Funny, Munson. Don’t think I was talking to your ass.” Steve’s counter catches you and Eddie off guard, and you throw a ‘what the hell’ look at Steve. You know that Steve is still Steve and has some unsatisfactory traits lingering. But him being unnecessarily rude to Eddie is something you’re not okay with.

“Okay, look…” Steve sighs, which has you raising an eyebrow, awaiting his response. “That was messed up, sorry, dude. I was going to ask if you both wanted to come.”

Eddie brushes it off with a wave, “Don’t sweat it, man. I get it. But we’ll have to get back to you on this one. Y’know, parties aren’t really our scene.”

You agree with Eddie’s statement with a nod. Steve, however, has difficulty not rolling his eyes at Eddie’s use of we. What, did he not think you could answer on your own? And why the hell is he always getting in his way? But most important, why does it piss Steve off so much?

While Steve ponders, he misses the call of his friends. He only reacts when he sees Eddie stumble towards you. He whips his head around to see Tommy and Carol snickering.

“Watch where you’re going, you damn freak,” Tommy sneers, and some jerks in the back laugh along.

Your books fall out of your arms as you prevent Eddie from becoming too familiar with the ground. “You good, Eds?” He nods, allowing you to help him back on steady footing.

You glare at Tommy, who laughs like a fucking hyena. You’re about to rip him a new one when Steve steps in, much to your and everyone else’s surprise.

“Jesus, Tommy… You have to be such a dick all the time?” Steve pointedly asks as he bends down on one knee to pick up your fallen books. It’s a simple act - a fine gentleman courteous enough to help a distressed maiden. But, you don’t know, something about how Steve gathers your things, handing them to you with that oh-so-apologetic expression, makes that simple act not so simple.

A singular strand of hair loses its hold and flutters down to frame his face, and, like an idiot, all you can form is, “Thanks…” You hear Eddie snort quietly beside you, and as you take your books from Steve’s outreached hands, you make sure to jab the brunet in the side with your elbow.

“Always with the fucking Wheelers…” Carol sighs, popping a bubble of her gum. Like birds migrating, their small group of goons disperses in pursuit of more havoc. You’re grateful for two reasons. 1. They’ll leave you and Eddie alone. 2. Most importantly, you’re sure it’s plain as day how flustered Steve’s actions made you.

You’re about to give Carol and Tommy a piece of your mind when the bell rings for a second time. You curse, haphazardly shoving your books into your backpack.

One more tardy, and Mrs. Nelson might make do on her promise to slap you and Eddie in Saturday detention. That was just something neither of you could afford. You grab Eddie’s hand, and in your haste, you miss the disgruntled look on Steve’s face.

You two run down the hall, and just as you reach the corner, you turn around and lift your hand to wave bye to Steve. “See you never, Harrington!”

The corner of his mouth upturns when your wave turns into flipping the bird. “Oh, and fuck you, Tommy and Carol!”

The two scoff behind Steve, who only smiles, shaking his head. “Gotta love those Wheelers.”

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

It’s Friday night, also the day of the party. Now, you’ve made all reservations to stay at home in the comfort and safety of your room. You’re all set to do just that until Steve comes to pick up Nancy. Ever since your mom caught him sneaking through your bedroom window to see your sister, he’s made more effort to appear at the front door. For good reason - Karen Wheeler might be head of PTA and bakes cookies, but she’s one woman you don’t want to be on the wrong side of.

You’re rifling through the pantry when Holly runs to you. She tugs at your pants legs until you turn around to see her with a piece of paper. You eye it warily until she aggressively thrusts her hand out, pointing to the front door before running off.

The crumbled piece of paper reads: “PARTY? Yes or yes?”

You snicker, pocketing the note as you gather your snacks and head for the stairs. On your way, you spot Nancy gracefully gliding down and almost envy her because you always trip over a step.

Nancy stops you before you can ascend. “Oh, are you staying home again?” The ‘again’ is an ongoing joke with your family since you’re affectionately dubbed a hermit.

“She’s not,” Steve answers as he joins the two of you, and your eye twitches a bit when he swings an arm around her shoulders. “She’s coming to the party.”

Your face furrows as you pretend to think. “Hmm, you know, I don’t think I ever agreed to that. By the way, Harrington, you didn’t give me an option for no way in hell.”

Steve groans, “C’monnn, it’ll be a blast.” You almost let the thought of him being cute as he pouts linger in your mind but instead push it away.

You yawn tiredly, tucking your snacks under one arm as you cover your mouth. Blinking slowly, you squint before sighing in acquiescence. “This isn’t a yes, but I’ll consider it.”

You can see that Steve is fighting the urge to persuade you more, and the way he settles for a cool nod makes you bite back a grin. You wave goodbye to him and Nancy as you trek back to your bedroom.

You’ve nearly reached the top when Steve calls your name from the open front door. You turn around to see a cheeky grin. “Don’t forget Munson’s invited, too. See you there.”

You find it hilarious how sure he is that you’ll show up. There is absolutely no chance in hell you would go to the party. No chance at all-

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

The music from the party sends vibrations throughout Eddie’s van, and you’re suddenly regretting coming. You turn to Eddie with an unsure look and almost laugh at his mirrored expression.

“Twenty minutes tops.” Eddie frowns as a couple runs in front of the van, cackling as they head for a cluster of trees further back. It’s so obvious what they’re up to.

“Ten.” You can’t fathom spending more time here, and you haven’t even made it inside yet.

Eddie nods in agreement, moving to get out before he stops to turn to you. He pokes you with a finger to get your attention. “Hey, you feeling okay?”

You furrow your brows, sighing. “I don’t know. Something feels off…”

“Maybe it’s the fact that we’re here… at this party… which, can I just add, is totally not our scene?” Eddie suggests, making you frown slightly.

“I don’t know. Today has been a bit weird. I was looking for something earlier and couldn’t find it, and then I had to see Steve and Nancy being, well, a couple. And, get this, I stumbled down the stairs when you came to pick me up.” You sigh again. “Maybe this was a bad idea…” you mumble, looking out the window to see someone vomiting on the lawn. Your nose crinkles, and you quickly avert your gaze to Eddie before you get sick, too.

“Well, how about this?” Eddie grins, trying to prompt one of your own. “We show face, talk to that guy - the unnamed one you have a major hard-on for. Then we make our grand escape, and guess what?” You look at him amused and respond with a hum. “We head back to my place and spend the rest of the night watching awesome movies and listening to super cool music. Sound good?”

You hate that Eddie knows you so well. With an affectionate eye roll, you breathe in and out. “Sounds good. Let’s go, Munster.”

The party is in full swing inside. It seemed the outside partying was just a warmup for what you two would face. Some acquaintances greet you and Eddie, sending waves and raising their drinks. It’s almost comical because it makes you feel like you’re one of the “cool” kids.

Somehow, you and Eddie find yourselves in the thicket; the music’s bass rumbles through you, and you see far too much bumping and grinding for your liking. You look around for the only reason you attended this shit show and come up short. However, you see Carol, who has an annoyingly cocky grin as she passes you, whispering something to Tommy, who snickers.

You’re about to comment on it to Eddie when someone calls your name. You look around until you see Steve heading towards you.

“Heyyy, you made it!” His enthusiasm brings about a simpering grin of your own. Steve pulls you in for a hug, throwing his arm around your shoulder, and you have to tell your heart to stop doing somersaults.

“Yeah, I did.” You smile up at him and almost laugh at his dopey expression. You’re not sure why he’s looking like that, but you attribute it to drinking. After all, is Steve Harrington really at a party if he doesn’t down an entire keg in seconds?

“You look really pretty, you know?” His words make you swallow harshly, knowing that his drunk words are kryptonite to your sober, hopeless, lovesick little heart.

You can feel the heat emanating from your cheeks, and you’re sure that if he continues staring at you with that look you can’t quite name in his eyes, you’ll be a walking heat advisory. You gently jab at his shoulder, dismissing him with a wave of your hands and a roll of your eyes. “Sure, sure. Let the alcohol talk.”

“It’s not the-” Steve doesn’t finish his sentence when Nancy joins your little party, nuzzling up to him. The sight makes your heart clench in a not-so-pleasant way, and you smile briefly to show good camaraderie, but deep down, you hate yourself for feeling this way.

Nancy greets Eddie, and you silently curse yourself for forgetting he was there. Knowing that he witnessed the entire interaction, you chuckle, sure he’ll find some way to tease you about it later.

You spend the next few minutes talking with Steve and Nancy, who soon enough become engrossed with each other. The whispers and drunken laughter they share make your eye twitch, which catches Eddie’s attention.

“You know, it’s getting pretty late, so I think we’re going to head out,” Eddie says, forcing a convincing yawn.

“Nooo,” Steve groans, unwrapping his arm from Nancy to place his hand on your shoulder. “You can’t go just yet. Stay. Please.” His bottom lip juts out just a bit as he pouts, begging you to stay with those big brown eyes, and a tiny part of you screams just how kissable he looks.

Instead of succumbing to that deep-down desire, you smile, tilting your head to look at him. “Sorry, Harrington. It appears you’ve exceeded your time limit.” You pat his hand, squeezing it gently before removing it. You swear you can feel his fingers curl around your palm, but he steps back in defeat before you can discern.

“It was fun talking with you guys, though. Who knows, maybe we’ll come to another par-”

You begin stepping away from him when a screech makes you and everyone else stop in their place. You turn to the source to find Tommy and Carol - of course, it’s them - standing atop a table with a microphone.

You have half a mind to leave, but for some reason, you feel compelled to stay.

“Hi, everyone! Hope you’re all having a fantastic time!” Carol starts, her words slurred and voice oh so annoying. Cheers erupt from the crowd, but she’s quick to quieten them with a hand in the air. “I have a little special announcement for one of our esteemed guests…”

She pauses dramatically, a mischievous look on her face. You’re not the only one who notices. Eddie leans down to whisper, “I think we should go.” You agree, feeling uneasy, but just when you turn to go, you hear your name.

Suddenly, everyone’s eyes are on you, Steve and Nancy included. You stare at Carol warily, wondering where she’s going with this.

“You see, little miss weirdo over there has a big fat crush on her best friend. But Steve is too busy fucking little miss perfect to give her the time of day.” Muttering and snickers and gasps of surprise sound around you as your heartbeat quickens. Tommy pulls your diary from his jacket, flipping it open to an earmarked page.

“‘Dear diary… I can’t believe I have a crush on Steve Harrington! I hate him and his perfect hair and charming smile and-’” Tommy pauses his reading to smirk. “Here’s the best part.” He pitches his voice annoyingly high, “‘I think I might just be in love with him, but of course, he has to be dating my sister, of all people.’”

If the humiliation doesn’t break you, seeing Steve and Nancy’s expressions as you slowly turn to them does. Nancy looks betrayed, and there’s a hint of anger in her eyes. You don’t blame her; you felt the same when you discovered she was dating Steve. Speaking of which, he looks confused; his brows pinch together, and his mouth is agape.

You open your mouth, but no words come out. What can you say? You don’t know. But you know that standing there while everyone looks at you isn’t helping you. Before you can register it, you’re running out of the house, pushing past everything in your way.

You don’t hear or see Steve marching right up to the table. “You’re real pricks, you know that?” He asks, snatching your diary from Tommy’s hands, sending him stumbling and falling off the table on his butt. Laughter erupts when Tommy falls. “Fucking assholes,” Steve sneers as he heads outside to look for you.

Eddie unlocks the van, and you’re about to hop in, ready to ditch this shit show, when someone grabs your wrist. You turn around to find Steve. He offers your diary to you. The thought of snatching it away crosses your mind before you remind yourself that although Steve begged to come along to the party, this whole shitshow wasn’t his fault.

So, instead, you gingerly take it from him, tucking it tight under your arm as if someone might come to steal it again. Then it’s tense - despite the cool night air sprinkling goosebumps along your exposed skin, the air feels unbearably thick, and you find yourself harshly swallowing the lump in your throat.

Steve is the one to break the silence.

“You never told me.” Those four words made you scoff bitterly, not at him but at the entire situation.

“You never asked,” is your retort.

Steve casts his gaze down to the ground, nodding solemnly. It’s another few seconds before he opens his mouth again. “I always thought it was Munson.” His confession shocks you. Is that why he’d always been so cross with Eddie?

“Well, now you know.” It’s unbearable standing here, trying to talk through this shitty situation. With a breath, you say, “I should go, Steve. No point in me hanging around.”

Steve falters, reaching an arm out to stop you from moving. “You can’t just walk away. We should talk-”

“Talk about what, Steve?” You pull your arm away from his grasp, fully turning to face him. “About how awful of a person I am. About how I fell in love with my best friend, and he chose my sister?” As you speak, frustrated tears fill your eyes, and Steve feels his heart break a little more. “Did you ever…” You breathe deeply, steeling yourself. “Did you… have you ever felt anything for me…?”

Steve’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, and had this been a different situation, you might have poked fun at him for looking like such a goofball. He finds it hard to meet your eyes, and though he never says a word, you already have your answer.

You scrunch your nose, blinking away the tears. You’ve already humiliated yourself enough tonight, and you won’t be adding crying to the list.

It’s then that you can hear music booming from inside the house - the rest of the partygoers continuing without a care, like some girl’s life didn’t just get flipped upside down and all around. You spot Nancy lingering near the entrance. She has this unreadable expression, but she’s not as angry as before. She looks sad, and that makes you feel even worse.

You tear your gaze away before looking at Steve, tears threatening to fall, and with a bittersweet smile, you say, “Tell Nancy I’m sorry for me, please. Goodbye, Steve.”

With those parting words, you quickly hop in Eddie’s van, and he knows to drive away without you even saying anything. You look out the rearview mirror to see Steve standing there, watching you leave.

Later that night, when you’re donning some of Eddie’s clothes, and he’s attempting to cheer you up, you pull out your diary one last time and write:

Dear (not so) secret diary,

Life is shit

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

#chaos-is-beautifvl #chaos.writes 🖋#chaos.requests 📞#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x wheeler!reader #eddie x steve x reader

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red-pill-blue-pill · 1 year

Text

As friends.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Miller

Summary: Joel is your friend, he just happens to be really handsome

Warnings: mild spice towards the end ??? just in case, fluff, friends to lovers (just so y'all know I'm a sucker for that shit)

a/n: I wanted to write a little blurb but it got outta hand. This is is my first time writing for the Joel Miller and i'm nervous (I love this character so much) so please be kind 💖

His living room was dimly lit by one of the lamps next to the couch. Something played in the background, blues you think. He had found a record player a couple of weeks ago while he was patrolling with Tommy. He had even come across some records in perfect condition, tucked inside a tattered wardrobe. He was such a lucky fucker.

When he came back, he showed them off to you while saying something along the lines of “‘f you wanna listen to them you gotta come to mine, sweetheart” flashing you one of his now familiar cocky smiles, as if he needed to convince you to spend time with him.

Your stomach still churns at the nickname and you chastise yourself every time, for letting your mind even dare to go down that path when it’s Joel the one you’re talking about, for even thinking about him that way. Joel, your fucking friend. It had to be the lack of romantic action in your life. It had been so long since you last were with someone that your brain had to be confused. No one in Jackson had caught your eye for the last couple of years, nor tried to make any advances to you, and who would have dared when you were next to Joel —mean scary Joel— every single day?

Still, you didn’t care, you spent most of your free time either with him or at his house, playing games with Ellie while he was on patrol or sipping on wine and talking about your day when he fixed you a nice dinner. Like right now, back at his living room, soft blues playing in the background and the soft orange light from his lamp rendering the room even cozier.

You were sitting on his sofa, glass of wine in hand. Blues had never been your type of music, at least not until Joel showed you one of the records he found on patrol, an Eric Clapton one, a smile from ear to ear and an excited “Look what I’ve found, I reckon you gon’ love it.”

But now, as you look at him sprawled on the couch, his head —his big ass, heavy head— resting on your legs with his eyes closed and humming softly to the song, you believe it may be your favorite.

You sipped on your wine and carded your fingers softly through his hair, relishing in the feeling of his hair through your fingers. You looked down at him, his face was completely relaxed, the familiar pull of his frown nowhere to be seen. He looked so peaceful like this, his long lashes fanned over his cheeks and the light casted soft shadows over his face. He was so handsome.

“You are so handsome” your mouth spoke before your brain could catch up. His eyes opened, orbs completely dark thanks to the lightning, and he quirked a brow, clearly amused at your comment. You tried to recover quickly “And I’m just saying this the way a friend calls another friend cute, don’t get too excited.” You chuckled.

Lies, lies, lies.

He scoffed, “Yeah, right.” he closed his eyes again, letting himself enjoy the feeling of your deft fingers through his hair. “Who you tryna fool, sweetheart? ‘m as old as time.”

You stretched your arm to place the wine glass on the coffee table, careful to not disturb Joel with the motion. This time, your now free hand went to trace the lines on his forehead so softly, a barely there touch. A shiver ran down his spine. It had been a long time since someone touched him with such care, as if he was some precious relic, only to be treated with care.

“Hate that you can’t see what I see, Joel” your voice was soft, charged with love, but still stern. You hated when he was self deprecating, which unfortunately was very often.

“And what is it you see?” he swallowed the lump in his throat. Why were his hands sweating all of a sudden?

Your fingers drifted to the lines around his eyes, tracing them with your fingertips. “For starters you’re rugged and strong and that’s just plain attractive. Besides, you think age kills beauty, but it’s quite the opposite.” His eyes opened once again and gazed up at you, something you couldn’t quite make out swirling in them. You continued, trying to ignore the heat of his stare “The lines in your face… they mean you’ve lived, you’re alive.” you are here with me

“What do you mean?” his voice was barely above a whisper, hoarse because of the sudden dryness that had taken over his mouth.

“This one right here” you smoothed out his semi-permanent frown with your thumb “tells me you’ve got very few friends.”

“m‘kay, that’s rude.” he feigned hurt for a few seconds, then he saw your bright smile. That goddamned smile, the one he never got tired of seeing. And then he smiled too. A small and barely there grin.

“Then the ones around your eyes”, your fingers skimmed over his crows feet, “they tell me that you’ve laughed and smiled a lot, that despite this nightmare we’ve found ourselves in, you were happy once.”

Silent fell over the room, Eric Clapton sang in the background as Joel and you played at your personal staring contest, one charged with unspoken feelings. His eyes were wide in surprise, searching your face, looking for something you sure fucking hoped he found in the way your soft eyes looked back at him. Your fingers still threaded through his locks, not once having stopped since he laid his head on your legs. Everything felt intimate, maybe way too intimate for just a couple of good friends having some wine after dinner.

A nervousness settled in your bones, the kind of feeling you get when you know something’s about to happen but you don’t know what. Your heartbeat picked up, it thumped wildly against your chest, your eardrums, all along your veins. Then you cleared your throat, unable to stand the silence any longer. “Anyway, as I said, you are handsome.” you let out an awkward breathy laugh. “I‘m telling you as a friend” you quickly added. Again. For good measurement, right?

He sat back up on the sofa, his body slightly twisted to face you. In the daze of the moment you had completely forgotten how broad he actually was, his knee pressing against your thigh. “As a friend…” he echoed back at you, a teasing smile spreading over his features. God, he was going to be the death of you.

You reached back for your wine glass and nodded absentmindedly before taking a long gulp, not daring to look him in the eyes just yet. Suddenly, his hand cupped your face softly, fingers pressing lightly into your cheeks, encouraging you to look at him. His eyes were filled with tenderness and the kind of hope you have when love is still a possibility. His lips were mere inches from yours, his breath mingling with yours.

“Would’ya mind if I kissed you, sweetheart?” his voice was low and syrupy and it ignited a different kind of desire in you, something you had never felt before, raw, primal. You inhaled sharply and before you were even able to answer he added “As friends, that is.” he chuckled, clearly proud of himself for teasing you, and you smiled fondly.

“Ain’t that what really good friends do?” you laughed breathily.

“Oh, I reckon they do a whole lot more than that.”

His lips pressed softly against yours, a softness you knew Joel was capable of but you had never experienced it yourself. Now, after getting a taste you didn't want to live without it. His hand moved to cup the back of your head, tangling with the hair at the nape of your neck, keeping you against his lips, deepening the kiss. Your hands found purchase on his shoulders, and thank god because suddenly Joel was grabbing your thighs and pulling you to straddle his lap.

He took advantage of the gasp of surprise that left your lips and licked greedily into your mouth. His hands roamed your back, going down occasionally to squeeze your ass over your jeans, relishing in the whimpers he pulled from you. Your hips started moving on their own accord, rutting against Joel’s growing bulge, making a deep groan rumble on his chest.

You tugged on his hair to break the kiss and stared dreamily at him. His pupils were blown out, his half lidded eyes hazy with lust, his lips swollen and red from kissing and a light shade of red tinted his cheeks. He was positively fucked out.

“You want this?” he asked while playing with the hem of your t-shirt, ducking his head once again to lick and kiss at your neck.

You could only muster a distracted “Hmh” as you kept rutting your hips against his. “As friends?” you asked between whimpers.

He pulled away to look at you, a hint amusement in his eyes as he took in the cocky grin you were sporting despite the lust filled gaze directed at him. His hands slipped past the waistband of your jeans, grabbing your panties from behind and pulling till the fabric rubbed against your clit. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips.

“As friends” he answered before claiming your mouth once again.

#joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller/reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal

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mazzystar24 · 1 month

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Hi, a 'BT' here! (Although I also happily ship buddie too because multishipping is so valid!) I come in peace and just looking for some discourse if that's okay? I saw the ask in regard to apparently BTs are saying that all the focus on rg means he's leaving? I haven't seen anyone say that on either side so a strange one huh!

But it was more your comments in terms of pushing for Tommy to replace Eddie as lead when Ravi is right there and I just wanna say I agree! And I have seen many bucktommy shippers including myself pushing for Ravi to be main cast. He absolutely should be and deserves it and is an absolute darling angel and I love what he brings to the whole dynamic!

My biggest hope for Tommy is for his to be recurring much like Karen! Speaking of, there's another character I'd love to be main cast and who I think is ahead of the queue in front of Tommy to be main cast. Heck I'd love if all of them got to be main cast but, as much as I love bucktommy, I definitely can see there's an order to who should be main cast and don't want any 'queue jumping'

One other thing I want to out out there as food for thought, is that on both sides I see a lot of discourse thrown out through anonymous asks of 'oh the bts are saying this' or 'the buddies said this ridiculous thing!' And something I would love both sides to seriously consider is... did they really? Or are there just a few people out there who feed on the chaos that it all brings and will send out anon asks that they know will increase this 'fandom war'and pretend they are kn the other side when doing so just to get a reaction and give ammunition to 'their' side to make it seem like one side is delusional and the other side isn't?

Tldr I just wish we all got along and stopped taking messages intended to stir up hate as gospel.

Peace and love

Glad you agree on the Ravi/ main thing front!

As you know I want tommy out already so no recurring hopes from me sorry 😔💔 ngl at first I was like hmm it can be interesting and I’m not opposed to exploring bt and their potential dynamic and maybe they can redeem him and make him likeable it’d be perfect (like my comparison was if they wrote him like Hannah from bones) but like buddie endgame but as eps went on both he and a section of the fandom became so insufferable to me that I’m like I don’t care about the potential juicy storylines I just want this man off my screen - but it’s totally cool if you like him and ship them it’s just not my cup of tea

For the other part I totally get what you mean and that may be the case like I totally agree that that is possible but I hear like so many things that happen in the bt fandom secondhand cos I’ve got so many of the toxic/annoying ones blocked (my block list is a mile long genuinely) and so many have me blocked too but usually stuff that my anons mention will be talked abt by more people in the fandom (like this is) or like there have been times where if I ask my anons for elaboration links ss etc and they are able to do so

That’s why half the time when I reply it’s more so like “damn didn’t know that if that is the case then xyz” you know? Or if I saw something I’ll mention it and be like oh yeah I saw xyz and this is my opinion on it or answer

Also like I’ve first hand seen things that are like 10x worse or more delusional than the “rg must be leaving and s8 lfj main” thing like no lie some of this stuff makes that seem tame in comparison so it’s like the chances they’ve said this are like HIGH

Genuinely I agree with you on that last point I do wish that this fandom was how it used to be and more peaceful but certain things I follow this kinda mental rule I’ve always had which is that I won’t respect a disrespectful opinion

Like from the very start of the discourse I’ve been very oh let ppl ship what they want and enjoy their fandom space and from the start I’ve encouraged proper tagging to help people do that and like even if you’re fully delusional abt your ship I fully respect that (not saying YOU are but I’m saying like let’s say one side is like yesss they are getting married in s8 and having a baby on the first episode I would genuinely just mentally be like woah that’s a bit delulu but love that for you and move on)

My only issue really has been where people from the bt fandom (not saying they are the only ones who do this but I’m saying personally speaking it’s what I see and what I experience also not saying it’s all the bt fans and I do try to say that as much as possible) being disrespectful whether this be through being racist, being ableist or rude to the buddie fans just to boost their ship

Like I’m so not against hating stuff like seriously idc hate whatever you want rant about it and make twenty posts and make so many jokes but when you’re being disrespectful or when it crosses certain bounds it’s like you’re a piece of shit

Anyways I got carried away but thanks for being so nice and respectful in your ask 🫶

#911 #buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #911 fox #911onfox #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #anti bt #fandom discourse #911 discourse

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farmerlarrry · 10 months

Text

Orange Slices (Joel Miller x f!reader)

masterlist | chapter fourteen | chapter thirteen| read on ao3 | playlist

story summary: A story about finding companionship and love in the midst of chaos.

a/n: Short–er chapter than usual, but the last few larger chapters completely turned my brain into mush lol and needed a little bit of fluff to cleanse my palate. The last bit was heavily inspired by the song “Wondering Why” by The Red Clay Strays, so shout out to all the people on tiktok for saying this is the perfect song to slow dance to, ily! I hope you are all having a lovely start to December! Stay safe!! :)

word count: 5982

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Chapter Fifteen

Neither you nor Joel spoke of that night in the weeks that followed. Although left unspoken, what almost happened never left your thoughts. Every waking moment, whether you were with Joel or not, it consumed every part of you, oftentimes leaving you wondering if you’d ever get a chance like that again. You were sure it consumed Joel as well. He was still the same man as before, but something very subtly changed. The way he treats you and looks at you– something was different behind those complex eyes, something deep down. It was almost as if he’d gone soft on you, but was desperately trying to hide the fact, probably a way to try and protect himself. If that was the case, you understood why.

There was a small part of you that felt embarrassed about that night, your feelings had been put on full display, something that you didn’t think Joel was aware of up until that point. His had been too, which made you wonder if he was embarrassed about it as well– if he regretted revealing that part of him–and perhaps that’s why nothing had been said by him. Every time that thought resurfaced, it nearly sent you into a panic.

You kept having to reassure yourself, knowing him, if he had regretted it, things would not have stayed so… normal between the two of you. Joel still stops by your place in the morning, the two of you sharing breakfast and coffee before heading out for patrol. If anything, the two of you began spending more time together. On the nights you aren’t at Charles’, you and Joel spend together. Tommy would sometimes join, but when Nessa found out about it all of a sudden she needed Tommy home more.

Although you told yourself that you’d stop drinking, it was the one thing you and Joel often did together. Wake up, patrol, drink… you had a nearly permanent headache, but for you, it was a small price to pay. You were finally content with the life you’ve created, even happy at times.

James had been avoiding you since that day too. You truly intended to talk to him, not that what you’d say would make things any better, but you at least owed that to him; an explanation. Of the many times you tried, he’d either leave as soon as you were within a 20-foot radius of him and the times you caught him off guard, he’d simply walk away without a word or look directed at you. You missed your chance to talk to James, missed the opportunity when it actually counted, and would come off as genuine.

You thought of maybe writing him a letter, leaving it on his doorstep or with Charles to pass it on to him– that way you’d know for certain he got it, whether he ended up reading it or ripping it to shreds; at least you would know that you tried. Ultimately, the thought seemed insincere and cringe, so you decided just to let things be.

The remnants of your actions haunted you enough as it is. Between the dirty looks you received from Heather and Aimee, the cold shoulder treatment you received from Nessa, and Dottie constantly asking why you and James never come over together anymore– you felt like all that was punishment enough.

“Why don’t you and James ever come over together anymore,” Dottie often asked some variation of this question crossing her arms and furrowing her brows.

With Charles grimacing in the background, pretending as if he doesn’t hear, you’d return Dott’s curiosity with your own variation of answers– our schedules don’t line up anymore, he’s busy tonight, I was busy with… You wondered if she pressed James about it every time he came over, wondering what he said in response.

Your actions followed you wherever you went, the only time you had real peace was when you were either alone at home, or when you were out on patrol with Joel with no one else around. The constant stares you received from the other guards around your age left you wondering who had been running their mouths and how much of it was actually the truth.

Jackson reminded you much of the small town you were from, at least from what little you remember of it. The sense of a close-knit community, for the most part, you could rely on each other, but when it came to the gossip… Everyone took what they heard as fact and had no issues spreading it around.

–

The night after you and Charles spoke in the isolated corner of Jackson BBQ, you went over to his house for dinner as planned. A nervousness fisted your stomach, making it twist and turn with every hesitant step you took toward his house. You wondered if James would be there; if Charles had told him of your company that night–

Unsurprisingly, James had not come. You weren’t quite sure if you were relieved by this or if some part of you had wished had shown up.

After the excitement of your company had settled and Dottie and Henry went to sleep, you and Charles sat in his study like the two of you used to do. Most of the time spent had been in silence, but you knew Charles had something to say. His face clearly indicated he was biting his tongue, forcing himself to swallow whatever words that had been filling his mouth, remaining unspoken.

“James is a good boy, you know,” He finally spoke, his words coming out calm but a feeling of heat behind them lingered after the room returned to silence. You let out a huff of air. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

All you could do was nod; a nod with no meaning other than you didn’t want to leave what he said unacknowledged. What you really wanted to do at the moment was roll your eyes, and if it had been anyone other than Charles initiating this conversation, perhaps you would have.

“And,” His voice shook as if he was unsure whether to continue, smacking his lips and taking a moment to ponder on his thoughts. You watched him carefully out of the corner of your eye, your body slumped in the firm sofa chair. You tapped your fingers along your thigh as you waited for him to continue. “Joel, he’s–”

At the sound of his name, you shot up from out of your chair before he could finish, beginning to take long strides toward the front door. Whatever he was going to say about Joel, you didn’t want to hear it. You endured the nasty comments from everyone too often, biting your tongue when all you wanted to do was shoot something nasty back at them. You wouldn’t hear it from Charles.

As you opened the door, Charles came up from behind you, pushing his palm against the door causing it to slam shut. The sound vibrated through the house leaving Charles cringing and eyeing the children’s bedrooms. Although your hand remained on the doorknob, you hadn’t tried to open it again, standing still while your breathing became messy, your chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Joel’s a fine man too,” Charles’ voice was dark as he spoke, but he was quick to release the words. His statement slightly caught you off guard, forcing you to face him slowly. You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye and instead settled on staring at his shoes. “A lot of people here don’t get him and that’s– it is what it is, but he's a good man. He cares and a lot of people don’t nowadays.”

You felt as if you were stripped bare, your mind and soul naked and completely vulnerable. All you could do was stare at the ground, how the shadow of Charles’ shoes met the raw grain of the wood and the gaps between each plank leading to an abyss of darkness. You couldn’t bring yourself to move, your shoulders tensing up to the point of pain.

“Why are you telling me this?” Your voice was small. Putting his arm on your shoulder, Charles guided you over to the couch. The two of you took a seat in unison.

“James told me his… suspicious the day Joel came back, and then you were wearing Joel’s shirt at dinner– let me finish,” His voice was calm, soothing your panic. You tried to butt in, demanding to know whatever James told him, but Charles made you listen. “As I told you before, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I’ll offer you my thoughts, you can take them as they are.”

Taking a moment to calm yourself, you nodded, urging him to continue. In, out, in… you guided yourself, the stuffy warm air barely doing anything to ease your breathing.

“Regardless of going about it the wrong way, you’re allowed to feel that way– you aren’t… you don’t belong to anyone,” He finally spoke, the reassurance running through you like a sip of cold water on a hot summer day.

“I fucked up Charles,” You stated simply. “I should’ve– I should have actually talked to James, but Joel came back and– and–” You shook your head, coming to a loss for words, “I didn’t know if Joel would feel the same, and talking about it to anyone was just too much. I– I don’t know. I thought I liked James, I really did, but when I saw Joel– and my heart, I just felt–”

The words rushed out of your mouth, you weren’t sure if any of it made sense. Charles nodded as he listened, though you weren’t sure he quite understood. You shrugged to signal you were out of words, left with nothing else to say as your breathing turned to shallow sharp inhales. Charles grabbed your hand, holding it in his, and ran soft strokes along your knuckles. You stared at your conjoined hands as he continued, it reminded you of your father, and how he used to calm you when you were in a panic.

“Does Joel feel the same way?” Charles’ voice was monotonous when he asked. Forcing yourself to look up at him, you swallowed against the lump in your throat.

“Wha– what?” You narrowed your eyes at him, confused. Your heart began to beat wildly in your chest.

“You said you didn’t know if Joel would feel the same way,” he quickly responded, a hint of confusion gleaming in his eyes.

You brought in your bottom lip tugging on it continuously between your teeth as flashbacks from the previous night poured in. You hadn’t realized your wording, you should’ve been more careful.

“I don’t know,” you quickly correct yourself. You weren’t entirely wrong, for all you knew last night was just… you let out a soft sigh at your own thoughts. “I don’t know if he does.”

A silence fell between the two of you and you became too aware of the soft ticking of the wall clock. Tick, tick, tick. It sounded loud in your ears, your eardrums seizing on each tick.

“Let me talk to James, okay?” he finally said. A weight instantly released from your tense shoulders, the lingering headache disappearing in an instant. Coward, a voice whispered to you, but you ignored it–at least tried to ignore it.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” A heat washed over your face, your body folding in on itself, “about Joel, that is.”

–

On this particular night, after a long day’s journey to an abandoned ranch and back, you and Joel found yourselves at The Tipsy Bison, tucked in the corner taking in drink after drink and going back and forth between playing billiards and darts.

The bartender for the night apparently was not very happy with how rowdy the two of you became over who won and who lost as well as how riled up you made some of the other guests for the night, to which he sent over Nora– out of everyone, her? You rolled your eyes, knowing she would likely report this back to James– to tell you it was time to wrap things up and go elsewhere.

“Yours or mine?” Joel asked without fully clarifying what he meant, he knew you would know what he was asking. You jogged the few feet that separated the two of you, nearly tripping over your own feet before slowing down as he pushed against the door with his back and held it open for you.

You took a moment to think as you stumbled out onto the porch, your hand lightly finding his wrist to grab onto for a short moment to keep you steady. He waited for your answer, slowly taking a few steps down, his torso angled towards you. You were humming softly to yourself as you sort through your thoughts, which were a blur even to you given your state.

“Probably yours, because–” you started to say but stopped yourself mid-sentence. Joel completely turned his body to face you, now slowly walking backward in front of you. His face twisted in confusion. “Actually, I know a place we can go to.”

Joel cocked his head waiting for you to reveal the location.

The abandoned building.

–

The entire walk you were hoping to whatever higher power there was that the others weren’t there. You didn’t see them at the bar so that didn’t leave many other places they could be. You knew that Drew and James were both due to go out for an overnight run sometime this week to Teton Valley, but that still left Heather, Aimee, and Nessa unaccounted for. They wouldn’t go out there, not without James or Drew, you kept telling yourself–reassuring yourself–of the fact that the three girls were a bit wary of how far away the building was from the main part of the community, regardless of the safety each guard ensured as a priority.

It wasn’t a quick walk by any means. You had to walk past the cemetery and greenhouses to where a field lay bare. In recent months, Maria has tasked some of the community members to turn half of it into more farmland and the other half left to expand the greenhouses, but the work efforts have been slow, especially with the urgent help with harvesting.

Past the field where the trees stand dense, there is a pathway, easily missed if you don’t know what you’re looking for. That pathway leads to the building and about a hundred yards past the building was the fencing that kept Jackson contained.

Although it was hidden away from the community and not used for anything in particular, many of the guards as well as Maria and Tommy knew about it. No one ever explicitly said not to go to it, but many of those who knew about it seem to forget about it which is how it became the go to hang out spot for you and the others. It offered a sense of secrecy with safety and was far enough from the main parts of Jackson where you never had to worry about being too loud.

The darkness crawled at your skin and a feeling of being watched hovered around you which seemed to help you sober up. Joel was behind you, only a few feet separating you from him. Occasionally you’d peer over your shoulder, mainly to make sure he was still there, in case you needed him for some reason. You could tell, even in the darkness, he was a bit hesitant about following you.

“Where’re we goin’?” Joel asked for the fifth time as you passed the cemetery, each time he asked his tone became less and less patient. Regardless of his tone, the sound of his voice sent a calming effect to run its course through your body, settling your churning insides.

“You don’t like surprises huh?” A faint smile formed as the breathy words came out of your mouth. It amused you to see him like this; fidgety like he had ants in his pants.

“No, not–” His voice conveyed to you that he was very clearly annoyed. You let out an overdramatic sigh which immediately shut him up.

“You’re no fun,” You turned your body to look at him, narrowing your eyes at him as you stopped walking. He only stopped when there was about a foot separating the two of you.

“Fun enough for you to spend your nights with me ‘parently,” he spat back almost immediately, a bit of humor and amusement lingering in his tone. As much as you wanted to fire back at him, you ignored his comment and started to slowly continue down the field. You could almost make out the details of the trees even in the darkness, meaning you were almost there.

“Remember how I told you I would hang out with Nessa and her friends?” he nodded, falling into step right next to you. You paused before continuing, “I’m taking you to where we used to go.”

“And if they’re there?” The words rushed out of his mouth. The thought made a sense of anxiety fill your chest.

“I think Drew and James are gone, but if the other three are there, then… we’ll find somewhere else to go.” You tried to steady your voice as you spoke. The thought of them seeing the two of you together, especially seeing you and Joel go to a place that’s so… secluded, did not settle well in your gut.

When Joel didn’t answer, you looked up at his face. His lips were set in a thin, tight line and his eyes were hardened, locked on the gravel crunching beneath his boots with each heavy step. You pinned your eyebrows together, is he anxious? Anxious that they will be there, that they’ll see us, or anxious that it will just be us?

You took one step to the side closer to him and gently knocked your elbow against Joel’s arm, catching his attention. His eyes widened as if he had been lost in some sort of mind-consuming thought.

“Okay?” You asked, desperate for some sort of reassurance that he was okay and this was okay.

He gave you a single nod, his body remaining tense.

–

The lights weren’t on when you arrived at the crumbling building, a shadow of blackness surrounded it. Regardless of the fact, you still slowly peeked your head inside to make sure no one had been in there before trying the switch to illuminate the dark room. Even though they didn’t come on, you still flipped the switch a few more times, desperately hoping you wouldn’t have to go in blind. The building was relatively safe, but the dark still gave you the chills–the thought of something hiding, waiting to grab you– the fear still haunted you.

You let out a loud sigh.

“The generator is a bit finicky,” you said plainly. The many memories of Drew kicking at it and cursing under his breath immediately resurfaced.

“Sure it’s safe?” he asked as he poked his head past the threshold of the door. Joel gently grabbed onto your bicep as he continued to survey the vast darkness of the building. His concern provoked a small breathy laugh from you.

“Let’s hope,” you responded, half serious. Joel let out a throaty hum, not coming off as too enthusiastic.

Joel followed closely behind you as you entered.

–

You finally managed to get the generator that James somehow managed to get many moons ago to turn on and went around to the various outlets to plug in the string lights. Joel slowly walked around the perimeter of the room with his hands clasped behind his back, running his eyes along the walls filled with posters and pictures the gang had once put up, looking at the furniture all of you managed to take from the donation center somehow unnoticed or from the few homes that remained unoccupied. Though you were never on the best terms with most of them, a lot of memories had been created in this very room–times of peace and ease. Showing him this place must have felt almost as vulnerable as it must have felt for him showing you his spot. An ache began to develop deep in your chest. You let out a deep sigh, letting the ache escape into the air.

His eyes lingered for a good while on a section of the wall that had been solely dedicated to the Polaroid pictures that had been taken on the nights spent here. Bringing his fingers up to one that was stuck at an angle beneath another picture, he pulled it loose. From your quick glance across the room, you didn’t have to be next to him to know that it was the picture of you and James.

James had both of his hands covering your eyes, a wide grin spread across his face. You had your hands wrapped around his wrists, your knuckles white as you tried to tear them away from your face. The longer you thought about it, you could have sworn you could hear yours and James’ overlapping giggles, Nessa yelling out ‘cheese’ before pressing down the shutter button. The ache formed once again, this time spreading from your chest to the pit of your stomach.

Without saying anything, barely provoking any sort of reaction from him, Joel turned and set it down on one of the side tables. As the picture left the tips of his fingers, his attention was immediately shifted elsewhere. Joel picked up one of the records from the stack piled on one of the small side tables, taking a seat on the worn and faded brown couch.

The distraction allowed you to swiftly sweep past the table, picking up the photo and slipping it into your back pocket to be discarded eventually.

You came up to Joel’s side. Using the back of the wooden chair next to him to keep you stable, you bent over the side of the couch to the corner where the last string of light’s plug hung free from the outlet. The heat of his body clung to the back of your cold limbs and you leaned in, closing the distance between the two of you. Joel cleared his throat awkwardly, the sound startling you and causing you to fumble the plug, making it fall behind the couch.

‘Sorry,” your voice was muffled as you reached your hand into the darkness, feeling around for the plug. A heat began to burn in your cheeks, spreading down to your chest, as you realized why Joel cleared his throat. You practically pinned him against the edge of the couch with your ass in his face.

You began to move faster, your fingers becoming tangled with the cord as you pushed it firmly into the plug. A small wheeze came from him as you straightened yourself, retreating a step back.

“Sorry,” The words were now barely above a whisper. You raised your eyebrows, widening your eyes at him as you try to remain as neutral as possible. His eyebrows twitched as he finally brought himself to look up at you. You could have sworn his eyes glazed over the entirety of your body before eventually meeting your eyes.

“Where’d you get these?” His voice was tight, guilty sounding as he changed the subject.

“Drew gets them when he goes into the cities outside of Jackson,” you responded, taking one step closer towards Joel, peering around his arm in the narrow space at the record he had been holding onto. “Most of them aren’t very good, but he picks up what he can find– I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

He nodded very subtly, pinning his brows together as he flipped the record over, looking at the songs listed on the backside.

“And the player?” He questioned further. Joel must have heard the hitch in your breath with the look he gave you in return to which you turned on your heel, heading toward the couch sitting opposite from where Joel was.

“It was James’ father’s at one point,” You responded dryly, slightly cringing as you remembered how serious James was the night he brought it, making sure everyone– especially Drew– knew if it broke, there would be serious consequences. Joel said nothing in response, just going back to sifting through the various records.

The vibe completely changed from the time you left the bar to now–an odd sense of intimacy lingered heavily in the room. You needed a drink, just one to shake off this sudden awareness.

Your eyes swept the room, landing on the old dented filing cabinet tucked next to the door. It was where the group kept all the alcohol each of you had been able to scrounge up as well as the collection of unmatching glasses that sat upon a tea cloth on the top. The filing cabinet was simply for safekeeping, you were desperately hoping that it hadn’t been emptied since the last time you were there.

The broken handle was cold on your fingertips as you pulled on it. The drawer did not budge and you rolled your eyes, fully taking a seat on the ground so the top drawer was now eye level. You curse softly under your breath. Of course one of them would keep it locked up– probably Drew… greedy bastard, you thought.

You never noticed anyone locking it before, but then again, you had never paid that close attention–you didn’t need to. Running your fingers over the metal latches and then over the face of the lock, you pinned your eyebrows together. You’ve worked with this kind of lock many times before when you were still out on your own. They weren’t complicated locks, low security if anything due to them having a universal one-pronged key amongst this type.

Without any further thought, you pulled the small knife out of your pocket and flipped it open, ramming the tip into the keyhole. If you could just get it at the correct angle, it should just pop open. You didn’t care if the others knew someone had been in here.

With a bit of jiggling, the shackle popped loose causing the corners of your lips to twitch slightly into a smile. Your eyes went wide as you opened the drawer–there was just as much, if not more than the last time you saw it.

Rising back onto your feet, you look over your shoulder back at Joel who was still fully occupied by the record collection. His face was stuck in a deep sense of concentration.

Picking a bottle at random, you turned to face Joel shaking the bottle. The sound of the liquid sloshing against the sides and lapping over itself seemed to catch his attention as he snapped his head up, looking in your direction through his brows.

“Want some?” you offered when he didn’t say anything, jutting the bottle out toward him. He narrowed his eyes, trying to look at the label– contemplating– before shaking his head and returning his attention back to the records. You simply shrugged before turning back around, flipping over one of the various drinking glasses on the top of the cabinet, and began to pour a generous amount.

You kicked your feet at the concrete ground, dust and dirt dancing through the air, as you slowly made your way over to the other couch that sat across from the one Joel was currently settled on. Laying the entire length of your body sideways on the couch and resting your head on the padded armrest, you closed your eyes– just for a moment, you told yourself– holding your drink on your stomach with one hand and the other playing with the edge of one of the cushions where the stuffing began to leak out.

When you opened your eyes, Joel was leaning over, placing one of the many records onto the platter of the player. Gently he let the needle fall onto the edge and pressed the button to turn it on. Music softly filled the room, the sound emitting from the speakers sounded muffled and scratchy, yet comforting and nostalgic.

As Joel returned to his spot, leaning into the back cushion and widening his grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes, you caught his attention. Holding his gaze, you sat upright, downing the rest of your drink and resting the glass on the ground.

“What?” He asked as you flashed him a toothy smile, your lips spreading thinly across your face as the corners reached your eyes and the second wave of alcohol hit your bloodstream.

–

The music began to flow through your veins, your body swaying without any coherent thought running through your mind. Spreading your arms out at your sides, you began to spin slowly and your body began to feel weightless; your surroundings and Joel blurring together with each turn. The air running over your skin made goosebumps dance up your arms and you let out a small giggle. You felt so free… so loose… so… happy. You felt like the person you had once been a long, long time ago.

Slowing your spin to a stop, you quickly became dizzy as you came to your senses, your brain struggling to comprehend that you were no longer going in circles. With the alcohol in your system, it made your body’s reaction twice as clumsy. Joel was watching you carefully, a small smile on his face, and appeared to be very amused by you. You began to tumble to the side, the opposite direction of any sort of furniture to stabilize yourself, as your feet tangled together. Joel lunged from his sitting position for you, looping one hand around your back, the other grasping onto your bicep.

“Woah,” The noise came out of you in a breathy whisper as the falling sensation subsided. Joel’s eyes were soft in the dim lighting of the room, the light reflecting off of his dark and ever-tired eyes.

As he helped you back up to the stability of your feet, he kept hold of your shoulders. You could feel his fingers gently but firmly pressing into your skin making your heart skip a few beats. Through your still semi-blurred vision, you make eye contact with Joel, who is steadily holding onto your gaze. His face, complex as usual, leaves you completely in the dark about what might be running through his mind. The look in his eyes took you back to that night.��

You softly ran your hands up along his arm until you reached his biceps, hesitating to curl your fingers around them. Dropping your gaze from his, you run your fingers along his worn flannel, the fabric is soft under the tips. All you can focus on at the moment is the feeling of the fabric between your fingers and the warmth that radiates from underneath. Joel has yet to move a muscle since you returned his gesture, though you were almost positive you could hear the beating of his heart– deep and wild.

Slowly moving your eyes along his chest to the skin peaking out where the top few buttons were undone–his chest hair poking through– up along his neck and into his eyes. Something changed from a few moments prior, from early this evening. Your breath hitches as his throat bobs and his tongue darts between his lips.

As you began to part your lips, trying to find any words to say, Joel very slowly ran one of his hands up your back, finding a home at the base of your neck where skin meets hair. Very softly he ran his thumb over your hairline, over and over. He was looking at you, but it felt like his gaze had been deeper– deeper than whatever he saw on the surface.

“I haven’t heard this song in a very long time,” His voice was quiet but hoarse, rattling low. You had to force yourself to swallow, your mouth and throat growing drier by the second.

Before you could muster up a response– even a reaction– Joel gently pulled your head into his chest. You didn’t protest, you would let him do whatever he wanted to you at this moment. His hand lingered at the base of your neck with your ear flush against his chest. Still, he softly ran his finger along your hairline causing a chill to make its way down your spine. Your heart felt as if it were beating outside of your chest and you noticed how deeply and fast Joel’s was beating in unison.

Joel took the lead as the two of you began to sway your bodies in unison, simply shifting your weight between each foot, very slowly turning in a circle. With your arms loosely wrapped around his torso, you began to run the fabric between your index finger and thumb again. This is the moment you’ve been craving since you were left on your own at the beginning of the outbreak– a sense of safety, a sense of companionship, anything other than the loneliness that rotted inside your heart for far too long– always too afraid to admit it, too afraid to get close to anyone for the next day is never promised. Sure, you caved into the intimacy of physical touch, but emotionally… you’ve never let yourself cave into that. But Joel… Joel was different. This was different.

The longer the music went on, transitioning from one song to another, a calmness settled between the two of you, your bodies melting into one another becoming one. You hadn’t dared to move your head, afraid that he’d let go of you entirely if you moved even just a bit; afraid that this moment would end sooner than you desired.

As the record player sputtered to a stop, the music abruptly leaving the room empty and silent, you and Joel remained together, swaying back and forth. Joel’s heartbeat returned to a steady, comforting beat. He flattened his palms against your back as a way to tell you, don’t let go– not yet. So you didn't, you would remain in his arms until he was ready to let go.

Without creating any distance between your bodies, you shift your head to look up at him, your chin firmly pressed against the bare part of his chest. He angled his head just right so he could look down at you. For a moment all you and Joel could do is stare at each other, as if the two of you haven’t stolen enough glances in the time you’ve known each other. Joel’s bottom lip was full of color and slightly swollen as if he had been chewing on it. You blinked a few times to bring yourself to the present moment.

“I missed you,” The words flowed out of you before you could think of what the consequences of admitting that would be. In the moment it felt right, you felt safe enough to admit that to him and you wanted him to know.

His face was set in stone, but a glimmer of something appeared in his eye and his shoulders appeared to relax as he slowly exhaled. It seemed like he didn't know what to say back. You didn’t care if he felt the same way if he missed you or even cared for you the way you do for him. All that mattered was that he knew someone had missed him, that his absence here mattered to you.

“You’re the only person who makes me feel sane,” You followed up in a whisper, returning the side of your face to his chest and tightening your arms around him. His heart rate picked up once again– deep and wild.

read chapter sixteen here!

painting divider | credit: @cottage-writings

34 notes · View notes

hainethehero · 20 days

Note

Just to follow up on the last ask about forgiving - right off the bat, you had an excellent point. I don't want to distract from that. Actually quite a few points. Were people sending death threats for real?!?! Anyway, one thing that's been bothering me. Is the real world views that people are enforcing. Along with this 'rule' that a character has to be redeemed/good in order to like. Like, why should I have to 'forgive' or have some stranger on the internet tell me 'they forgive' a character in order to like them. And why does the character have to have changed? I don't want to go on a tangent, but gosh if Tommy was still pulling the 'I'm a straight cis white guy card' to fly under the radar and told Buck to do it, and Buck did. That would make for interesting TV as Buck realized what he was doing was wrong/ hurting his friends and then his, Hen and Chim and Eddie could really bond/bring forward a compelling racism story line. Like, we could see that, and it wouldn't have to be a bad thing! AND! AND! Imagine how that would help the buck/tommy ship. Tommy's new boyfriend helping him to come out, not just when it's easy. Everyone wins!

But if we even saw a hint of one of Buck's LI's being anything but good and pure. And I'm picking on Buck here I know, this happens in a lot of other cases. But as we are seeing with Tommy in real time. Then we have to hate them.

I have no problem liking a villainous character that stays bad. And maybe that's why it seems odd to me that people say, 'oh they've done bad things, you can't like them.' Cause then I can't love my bad guys from say the comics! Or some of the heroes from the comics, either! But that's not exactly the problem I keep circling here and getting distracted from making this ask about - I'm rambling even when typing oie.

I think the real, main thing that I've been getting annoyed with, is the use of real world views to make people in fandom fall in line. Ignoring the real world and real people for a moment. Why does a POC person have to forgive Tommy, a not real person, in order for everyone to be allowed to like the character? We're each a monolithic group of separate minorities with one voice. There's no collective that can condemn or atone a person officially.

On the flip side, I know not everyone takes in media the same way. So my view of liking a character if I find them entertaining, even if they're a bad guy. Won't be the same for everyone. So a person who has dealt with some form of discrimination totally could see a character who does that form of discrimination and hate them for it. They could see the in-depth arch of 'redemption' or the throwaway line saying the character has changed. And for personal reasons choose to still not like the character. Or the character could still be flawed (art imitates life after all and no one is perfect) and they could still not 'forgive' or like the character.

But why does that mean everyone else needs to seek permission to do it? To say 'oh this character did bad things, but I can look past it, they've changed' or god forbid 'this is a character with flaws or is just bad' and still like the character.

It's also funny cause in Tommy's case, I don't really remember the begins episodes. Someone keeps brining up a guy named Sal to ship Eddie with now. And I'm like, who now? But anyway. I don't even remember Tommy from those episodes and a lot of other people who just tune in to watch week to week and all the new people who just started this season. Were probably like me and didn't realize Tommy was around before! Which doesn't really matter, I'm just now wondering how to clue up this ask.

So glad I can do this anonymously and not reveal to the world how awkward I can be when trying to communicate via the written word.

This was a bit confusing but I'll try my best.

First, yes, people were sending death threats both to Lou and Tim.

NO ONE is saying we can only forgive a character who did questionable things if POCs forgive them. I am stating that if POC have the right to dislike/have reservations about characters who showed racist behaviour in the past despite having redeemable qualities. No one has the right to police pocs about their feelings towards a character like that.

The initial point however, is that a large part of the fandom sees Tommy as the show meant to portray him- a flawed character who eventually reconciled his relationship with Hen and Chim. Tommy isn't a villain. He's literally a flawed character who was given a redemption montage in order to show how different the 118 was under Gerrard's racist and oppressive leadership versus Bobby's.

If anyone's a villain, it's Jonah. It's Gerrard. It's people with actual distorted complexes who just wanted to hurt people because they could.

And while Tommy's behaviour under Gerrard was bad and cannot be excused, it can and was explained by the show, that it was because of the environment fostered by the bigot Captain Gerrard. A layer of nuance is added when we find out in s7 that Tommy was actually very closeted in the 118 BECAUSE of Gerrard, hence the reason why he joined in on the questionable behaviour. Once Chimney saved him (and also humbled him) and Hen eviscerated them rightfully with her monologue speaking out against their racism, the power dynamic began to change. Gerrard was booted out and Tommy, Hen and Chimney became close friends, as evidenced by the farewell party they had for him, and the fact that they frequented that bar to hang out after work.

#911 discourse #911 fandom #anti buddie #anti bucktommy #buddie #bucktommy #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #evan buckley

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bleue-flora · 2 months

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To be fair I don't see the clip of him saying exile wasn't morally perfect, and the clip of him saying it was torture are not contradictory not to mention in that clip of him saying "I tortured you" Its unclear if hes referring to specifically exile because there are other instances that can be considered torture (aka tormenting c!tommy in that one chase with the threats, beating him up in prison, bringing back c!wilbur with the goal of torturing c!tommy)

If he is talking about exile which I can understand that is the most likely thing he is talking about then referring to exile as morally not perfect to C!sam and then referring to it as torture to c!tommy allign more to me as saying similar things rather than being opposites. Exile both is torture to c!Tommy which c!Dream recognizes, while in his own opinion it is morally not perfect, he downplays it with c!sam because he is speaking from his own perspective but he calls it torture to c!tommy because he is looking into c!tommys own perspective of it and I'd even go ahead and say that he was being empathetic in the finale regardless of if he thinks of what he did as genuine torture or not, he says it in some form of comfort, even referring to himself as a villain in that same sentence and giving back that l'manberg pic. Just my thoughts though. I do agree that usually c!Dream lies when talking to c!tommy and his conversations with c!Sam are a lot more credible, but In this case, I feel he wasn't lying in either clip.

[context]

Okay, good point, perhaps lie vs truth wasn’t my best wording choice, I think sometimes the debate is more so how does Dream see it and does that tell us something about Exile that Tommy’s pov does not or gets wrong. But yea I think for him, he recognizes it as not morally perfect, and as necessary, where he was trying to teach Tommy and helping him not make the same mistakes over and over [clip], but can also recognize that for Tommy it was more so torture. And yea in that other clip it isn’t specifically referring to Exile, though I don’t think Dream sees him chasing Tommy, murdering Tommy in prison, and bringing back Wilbur as him torturing Tommy. I just don’t think it files under his definition of the word, hence my more so assumption about Exile, which he does call in Daedalus “psychological torture”. Now whether he says torture in the finale as a more empathic response or is just playing to Tommy’s view of him as part of his villain person, is up for debate another time. Though it’s likely a bit of both.

So I suppose it’s not about lies and truth but about how does Dream see it versus Tommy and what does that tell us. In this instance, I don’t think Drean intended for it to be torture, he wasn’t out for blood tormenting Tommy for fun or evenge (at least at first, and consciously), but out of his plan to rehabilitate Tommy. Which is much more contrasting to Tommy’s pov where he just thinks Dream tortured him for malicious kicks and giggles. But yea just because he didn’t intend for it to be torture doesn’t mean perhaps he can’t recognize that it was for Tommy. But he does also say how Tommy deserved it, so I’m not sure he’s empathizing as perhaps as just feeding Tommy’s fantasy of him. Though Dream I think is one of the few characters who has the ability to perceive things from other people’s point of view. Does that make him empathetic or just perceptive? Hard to say from these examples alone. I for one think Dream has empathy, I think we can see it in the trident scene where he tries to raise Tommy’s spirits (almost as if he didn’t realize how bad Tommy would be if people missed the party). I think we see it in how he changes sides so often depending on who’s being wronged, showing sympathy for the hurt side. I think if we see it when he lets Sam go, yes their were reasons but if he truly had no empathy or morals he would have definitely killed him for good, especially knowing the death is off balance or whatever (unless that some lie…) … so yeah hopefully some of that makes sense, words are hard today so I tried.

{I will say I am getting tired of talking about exile and discduo, so if y’all would stop sending asks about them I’d be thankful. I’m gonna answer the ones I have but then I think I’m moving on to a different topic. <3}

#anyways I’m brain dead… and I don’t think you’re necessarily wrong even if things are slightly more complex if that makes sense #hello there #c!discduo #dsmp #c!dream #dreblr #dream smp #dsmpblr #c!tommyinnit #c!dream and c!tommy #dsmp exile arc #c!tommy

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min-kit · 5 months

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The whole “Buddie buildup for seasons!” thing is so funny to me as someone who’s been watching from the start. The very moment Eddie appeared in the first ep of season 2 and talked to Buck (which was pretty charged and slightly negative) people started shipping them and demanding for them to get together based on chemistry alone, with no build up or backstory. It obviously continued as the show went on and more moments happened but as someone who shipped them back then they actually made MORE sense when the ship and chemistry was fresh imo, in seasons 2 and 3, and no one debated it as then. Now that Tommy appeared now suddenly it’s all “3939 seasons of buildup!”. Especially weird when there were some seasons where there was negative buildup for Buddie. Again, I used to ship them so it’s not like I’m against the idea but saying Buddie makes more sense than BuckTommy only because of madeup is BS.

warning: this is long!!

I actually came into the show with buddie goggles on. I think my first episode live was 4x4? It was either Future Tense or the episode RIGHT after Future Tense, idr which but I had a mutual or someone I followed on twitter who was really into the show & would share ppl's edits. Now I knew they weren't canon & even then I didn't need them to be (i like a good "queerbait" as the kids call it, tho i have arguments for what actually constitutes queerbait. I simply call it "shippable"). But as someone who went in knowing about their ship, I looked at EVERYTHING with those goggles on. So yeah I shipped them hardcore for those seasons. Then s6 happened and I packed my bags on that ship to ever actually happen in canon and resolved to watch the show a bit more casually season 7 onwards (and I would've done too had I not heard the rumors about bi Buck!! haha)

But I did start rewatching the series through the reactions of someone who did not have those goggles on a few months ago and it really shed some light on certain things. All that is to say, I do agree with you. If it was something that was ever gonna be done, during s2 & 3 makes the most sense. I think ppl forget that fanon is not the same as canon & things that work in fanfiction do not work in the actual canon world of the show. Now that Buck is bisexual, I do fully believe & adopt the headcanon that he had feelings for Eddie early on & just didn't realize it, but they developed fully into friendship.

I don't think they're going to make Eddie canonically queer too. I just don't. I'm not sure why I ever thought they might give both coming out stories (maybe it's because I watch a lot of Asian BL). Unfortunately, that is just not how network television works in America. The fact they made Buck queer 7 seasons in is already HUGE. I'm not gonna hang my hopes on what's probably an impossibility when I have this beautiful canon queer storyline happening on my screen already & I genuinely like Tommy & think he's the perfect LI for Buck.

I think here is what people need to realize too. Once again fanon =/= canon. There are no so many years of build-up. Unless and until they make buddie canon, those years of build-up do not exist because, currently, they're not trying to build anything up. Tim has said they aren't currently planning it, Ryan again and again has said how much Buck & Eddie's friendship means to him to see on television because you don't see male friendships portrayed that way (and you don't! especially not friendships between 2 "macho" men both in their 30s, 1 of whom is canonically queer. This too is an important storyline to tell).

People watch this show with buddie goggles feeling like they're owed these 2 to get together but that just isn't the case. Tim will tell the story he wants to tell & ppl viewing are signing up to watch THAT show. If you don't like that show, stick to fanon because that's something you can control.

And, one day, if they do decide to go in that direction (and I'm firmly in the camp they're not going to & if they do it's gonna be in the final season, but I truly think ABC wants 911 to be another Grey's Anatomy; something that can go on for 20 seasons so who even knows if these actors will want to stick around that long) it's not going to be the story of Buck & Eddie realizing they've had feelings for each other all this time. They won't be able to convince the GA of that. It'll be them falling in love for the first time on screen. But first they need to convince the GA that Eddie is whatever brand of queer they decide on (it's not going to be gay, I will say that right now. As much as I understand why people headcanon him as such & even agreed for a long time, that is not the reality within the show's canon. The show is not trying to lie to people about Eddie enjoying sex with women, they would make it more obvious for the people who don't sit online analyzing if that were the case. Personally I've started reading Eddie as aromantic but I know most ppl here would never be cool with that since it puts a damper on buddie too).

If people want to continue living in a delusional world where these things will for sure happen, then that's on them and is their right. Have fun with it! Fandom belongs to the fans. You can do anything here. But to get upset and angry because other fans might not agree, or the people in charge of the show don't go the direction you want? Well that's just silly. We are viewers (& also writers can NOT use the things fans say. They could get in serious trouble for that). You can be active in a fandom space, but at the end of the day, being a viewer is a passive job. The writers write the show, then they film it and put it out to the world & a viewer views it & enjoys the art that these hundreds upon thousands of people created.

And, also, there's a lot more passive viewers than there are active members of fandom. And people forget that. If every single hardcore shipper stopped watching right now, the views would hardly dip. They won't lose anything just because they decide not to make fandom's favorite ship canon.

#anon ask #not tagging this and hope it shows up nowhere lmao #either way im not budging on what i think so #ive seen way too many tv series to get how these things work #been in fandom way too long as well

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decks-writing-blog · 3 months

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Here to Stay Drabbles: We're Cool

Summary: Or talking to Dr.Coomer about his file.

With Black Mesa’s personnel numbers being so far reduced and the lab being small compared to the old one, there were lots of opportunities to talk to Dr. Coomer. Finding one in which it was just the two of them was a bit harder but not by much. It made it rather difficult to find excuses to continue to put off talking to him. Gordon did so for as long as he could but well, if he continued for too much longer he’d basically have to commit to carrying the secret of his transgression to his grave. Not something he wanted weighing on his conscious for that long.

And so the time finally came when it was just the two of them in their corner of the lab because both Tommy and Darnold liked to go home at the same time every day while the two of them sometimes stayed a bit longer, often to finish what they were doing. Organizing and sorting stuff as it was brought in from the old facility was still their main responsibility. Staying on top of it sometimes meant one or both of them had to stay an hour or two longer, no big deal. They weren’t overworking, it was fine. Especially since it gave Gordon this perfect opportunity to go over to Dr. Coomer’s desk, and come clean.

It really wasn’t that big a deal. None of the clone files had contained much of Dr. Coomer’s personal information. Or maybe ‘none’ was a bit of an exaggeration, ‘only a few’ was a better description. But still, Gordon had skimmed through those parts. So it was fine. And if it really was fine then maybe he didn’t need to… No. He wasn’t putting this off again. Even if Dr. Coomer wouldn’t care he felt bad about it and thus he should tell if for no other reason than to get it off his chest.

With a sigh he stood and walked over to Dr. Coomer desk.

Dr. Coomer looked up at him and smiled. “Hello Gordon!”

“Hello Dr. Coomer.”

He pushed his keyboard up, allowing him to fold his hands on the desk in front of himself as he looked up at Gordon. Waiting for him to speak because it was that obvious Gordon had something to say. Why else would he come over here? Meaning there was no more getting out of this. Probably for the best.

Well best to just put it out there and be done with it, right? Let Dr. Coomer be mad if he needed/wanted to be. “I came across the files about you and your clones and read through them. I skimmed through parts of it when more sensitive information was brought up but I did go through all of it. Also, this wasn’t just now it was back before we went back to the old facility to get Benrey’s files. And um, I think it’s what made me decide I wanted to peek at at his files because I thought it was fine that I looked at yours so maybe it would be fine if I looked at his too. Which is obviously not true in either case, both are bad without permission. So uh… sorry. I fucked up.”

Dr. Coomer’s expression didn’t change throughout Gordon’s entire spiel. “That would explain why and how those files mysteriously appeared on my work computer the other day.”

“Uh… yeah, that was me. I figured you should have them since they’re yours.”

“Thank you for coming clean with me Gordon. That a sign of growth and maturity. And that you care about me enough as a person to risk me being mad at you for having invaded my privacy to let me know you did that. I appreciate it.”

“Does that mean you are mad at me or… what?” It was hard to tell with him sometimes.

“Hmm… no, I forgive you. After all if you can forgive me for my clones trying and almost succeeding to kill you, I can forgive this minor indiscretion.”

“Gosh, don’t remind me of that, please.” Gordon barely remembered any of it other than that it had happened. Probably a trauma thing so best not poked at. “But that means we’re uh… cool?” That it really was fine? Not fine that Gordon had done it but that he’d realized it was wrong, apologized, and was forgiven so they could both move on from it.

“Yes, we’re cool. Don’t do it again though.”

“I won’t.” Gordon had more than learned his lesson in that realm. No more being overly nosy about his friends. He’d indulge his curiosity about strictly non-person related things from here on out. It was easier for everyone that way. “Thanks for the second chance.”

“You’re welcome! Now back to work Gordon! There’s much still left to do. … Or maybe not much, only a few more things to wrap up and then we can go home.” Said as if Gordon wasn’t the one in charge. But that was fine, he wasn’t wrong and it’s not like it was the first time he’d told Gordon what to do.

#hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #dr. coomer #here to stay drabbles #frenrey drabbles

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vincess-princess · 9 months

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as we were falling

ch. 9

a/n: you though this was dead, didn't you? well IT ISN'T to surprise of everyone, me included. i just needed something to write that required no thinking whatsoever, and this one is perfect for that. hopefully it will help me get back into writing :) word count: 1426 warnings: none

“Oh god, no. No no no no,” Tommy moaned upon entering the cafeteria.

“Oh yes!” Nikki’s eyes gleamed with excitement.

Nutrient paste lay on plates in all its wobbly, vomit-colored glory.

“Are we gonna eat it for the rest of our lives or what?” Tommy complained.

“God, I hope so.” Nikki rubbed his hands in anticipation. “I mean,” he switched to a more serious voice, “it’s nutritious, cheap and easy to produce, so it’s just logical to feed it to the slaves. Sorry, bud.”

“You come across a rope, grab it for me. I’ll go hang myself in the kitchen,” Tommy said grimly. “Though they’ll probably grind me into this paste after that…”

“Ew.” Nikki’s excitement decreased, but not by much. “Though you know, only social norms make cannibalism taboo, and who cares about them?”

“Definitely not you.” They sat down at the tables. Tommy poked the paste squeamishly and watched it wobble. Even two days of hunger didn’t manage to make it more appealing. “You want my portion?”

“Man.” Nikki suddenly frowned. “You gotta eat. You’re already all skin and bone. Unless you plan a hunger strike, in which case don’t even bother, because they’ll feed you anyway, just against your will. Remember what that asshole guard said on the ship?”

Tommy nodded. The threat was hard to forget.

“You gotta get over yourself,” Nikki said softer. “Start small. A couple spoons. C’mon.”

“You sound like my mom trying to feed me broccoli.” Tommy stared into his plate. Nikki, of course, was right, which was rare and thus special.

“What’s broccoli?”

“Nevermind.” Tommy sighed, scooped up half a spoon of nutrient paste and put it in his mouth.

Yeah, it still tasted the way it looked: vomit plus snot plus an aftertaste of spoiled fish. He swallowed it without chewing, but the taste still lingered on the tongue.

“Good boy.” Nikki patted him on the shoulder. “Now just one more.”

Tommy’s mom could say those words, theoretically, but definitely not in that tone. He sent Nikki a confused look, but he already diverted all his attention to his nutrient paste.

***

The next day they had their skills assessed. It was the other primary factor of the price range given to a slave, and the price range at the first auction determined the quality of life the slave was going to have later in life – at least with the first owner. Which is why Tommy was just a little bit nervous. He had neither valuable skills nor intelligence to boast.

Nikki had little more to offer, but he remained carefree as always. “I’m a real catch. I can shoot and brew moonshine.”

“I thought you’d have to be a bit… better at survival on a planet like yours.”

“Well, they would hardly need the knowledge of local plants and animals, would they?” Nikki shrugged. “And yeah, I mean, I can also do some cooking and doctoring, but just a little bit. That’s it.”

It still sounded better than Tommy’s meager skillset, which included drumming, waiting on tables, rolling joints and breaking into cars. Who would need a slave like this? Without education he could only perform either simple menial work or sex work. Neither were appealing.

“Hey, at least they won’t send you off to the edgeworld to serve the troops,” Nikki tried to console him – unsuccessfully, because Tommy had no idea how he’d fare without Nikki at this point. Besides, soldiers were never kind to slaves.

It was another row of similar white doors, different by only numbers on them. The evaluation took longer than a medical exam, which is why the slaves were called up with longer intervals and Nikki was gone long enough for Tommy’s anxiety to flare up. What were they even doing there for so long? Cracking their skulls open and then sewing them back shut?

His number was called when he almost ran out of ideas. Tommy rose from his mattress, his gut twisting: he was about to find out how the evaluation was done – and what would his life be after an auction. Of course, the price couldn’t determine the future master’s temper – even the highest-cost slaves could end up with an abuser – but it sure determined whether they would eat normal food or nutrient paste and sleep in bed or on the floor.

The long corridor with a row of white doors was painfully similar to the medical exam cabinets. The architects sure didn’t spend too much effort on interior design. Of course, the vast majority of citizens never saw the interior, and nobody sought to impress slaves.

The farthest door opened, and a captive walked out of it. He walked funny, his forehead glistened with sweat. Tommy followed him with his eyes as the guard that brought him here pushed him into the room, grabbed the captive’s arm and led him down the corridor.

The room was almost empty save for a strange chair, a bit like a dentist’s, in the center of it, with a steel hoop at the top that presumably was fixed on a head. Tommy didn’t like the look of it at all. Then he noticed handcuffs on the armrests of the chair – unlocked, for now. Tommy imagined them closing on his wrists, and a chill ran down his spine.

A small table stood next to the chair with a small glass on it. From afar it looked like it was empty, but then Tommy saw there was transparent liquid inside of it. He really doubted it was water.

“Number 971-TP5?” someone said from behind Tommy’s back. He turned around and saw a darkened window in the wall on the right. Oh great, they’ll also watch him.

“Yes,” he said slowly, fighting the urge to step back and close the door from the outside. The guards sure wouldn’t appreciate that, and Tommy didn’t fancy getting another stripe at all.

“Drink the liquid on the table next to the chair,” came an order, in the same tone as the robotic voice in the torture chamber and the doctor at the medical exam. They all seemed to have one tone exactly for all the captives.

Tommy carefully picked up the glass and smelled the liquid – and felt nothing. Then he stuck his tongue in it. It was cold and viscous. He exhaled and drank it all in one gulp. It left a bitter aftertaste in the back of his throat.

“Sit on the chair. Hands on armrests. Head inside the hoop.”

Tommy did as he was told. When the cuffs closed around his wrists and the hoop tightened around his head, he heaved a sigh. So predictable.

The chair began to buzz quietly. Tommy tensed up. He waited for some more instructions, but none came.

The buzzing grew, and soon the whole chair was vibrating intensely, and Tommy’s ears rang so loudly he couldn’t hear his own thoughts. Shockwaves rolled through his body, and the hoop on his head grew so tight it sent spikes of pain through his brain, and Tommy might have screamed in pain - he didn’t know for sure, the ringing in his ears was too loud. His brain was frying inside his skull, his heart raced, his vision was dark, his limbs went numb.

Then it all ended. Slowly, the pain subsided and the colors returned. Tommy found himself drenched in sweat, breathing heavily, throat parched, hands trembling. He was relieved to discover the wetness in his pants was also sweat. Was it what it was like to be electrocuted?

“Could have warned, at least!” he shouted in the direction of the window. His voice came out hoarse and cracking. The window kept silent.

The cuffs opened and the hoop loosened. On shaking legs Tommy rose from the chair.

Then the window lit up, and white letters appeared on it. They were blurry in his eyes so Tommy had to come closer to read them.

971-TP5

IQ: 106

Primary skills:

Drumming: 76% proficiency Lockpicking: 65% proficiency Dancing: 48% proficiency Singing: 43% proficiency Cooking: 39% proficiency Writing: 21% proficiency Drawing: 14% proficiency

Preferable occupations: entertainer, house worker, sex worker

Starting price: 3429 EDs.

Nothing unexpected, Tommy sighed, though he never thought his lockpicking was so high. The price grew a bit since his medical exam too, but only a bit: his skills didn’t add much to it. Overall, he was in the moderate-high price range, mostly due to his age and health. He could only hope his appearance would attract a wealthy buyer, then.

“971-TP5, out. Invite the next number.”

#as we were falling #motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #tommy lee #nikki sixx #motley crue au #motley crue fanfic #my writing #i was thinking of returning to this one for a while and today it happened #it turns out when a person is sleeping well and gets enough rest they may even return to their hobbies #unexpected i know #hope yall still remember this exists lmao #thinking of posting it to ao3

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gotmesimpin4levi · 1 year

Text

🚫‼️DISCLAIMER❗️🛑

This fanfic plot is not mine, it is the plot of the summer I turned pretty TV SHOW not book. All I did was replace each character from tsitp with an aot character. Above is a list of all the characters that will be featured in this story and who wil play them. There isn’t much smut at all just some kissing and ano more than two 🔞 scenes

A/N

I’ll try to post frequently and I’ll post multiple chapters at a time. I did add a bit of originality to it so it’s not just a straight copy and paste with different names. Lemme know is you wanna see more anime crossovers and please enjoy!

PART 1:CHAPTER 1

The air is hot, the water is warm, the sun was blazing in the beautiful blue sky. It was summer which meant that it was almost time to go to Carla’s beach house in Cousins. The place I grew up at with her two sons Eren and Jean, and of course my brother Connie. The place where I lost my first tooth. Learned how to ride my first bike. Had my first love. Cousins, was my home.

“Hitch! I can’t wear that! It’s so… slutty” I said with a disgusted but playful look. She held up a pink tube dress with long sleeves, the shoulders exposed and a pair of pink platform pumps.

“That’s the point y/n!” Hitch. Hitch and y/n, best friends till the end. Sometimes I wonder how we even became friends, it’s been so long I don’t even remember. We’re complete polar opposites. She loves to go out and party, I like to stay inside and watch musicals.

“And besides Eren’ll love it” she said teasingly

“No!” I protested “ We’re not even into each other like that” I lied. Eren and I were like a commensalism. I needed him to breathe, to live. But he never really paid attention to me like I did him. Whatever I did didn’t affect him so he didnt really care.

“LIAR LIAR pants on fire!” Hitch yelled out “ you like him and you know you do”

“Maybe” I murmured “ but he doesn’t like me back so I don’t need the outfit”

“Y/n, look you can’t stay the young gullible little sister forever. Whether you like it or not your changing. Actually you’ve already changed a lot! There’s no way Eren can resist a hot steamy make out session with you. No way! And you’ve gotta get out more!”

I knew I looked different but not enough for Eren to notice me. Right?

“Maybe but I don’t wanna get my hopes up”

“Girl if he doesn’t notice you then he’s cra cra. Here, take these just in case” she handed me along with her slutty outfit a neon green bikini ithong, a pink crochet cami with light colored cutoff shorts and a pair of white Tommy Hilfiger flip flops.

“Thanks Hitch, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m really gonna miss you”

“ hey don’t worry, I’ll see you in a week for your birthday” Bursting in to my room Connie said

“Come on y/n, moms pissed we haven’t left yet” I just blew him off. We walked downstairs and said our goodbyes. Connie drove, I rode shotgun and my mom, Hange, sat in the back seat. This was it, this was the beginning of our perfect, annual, summer getaway!

A/N

I’m soo sorry for the long chapter and all the boring exposition😭

My goal was to make it so that someone who has never seen tsitp could still read this fanfic and enjoy it so my apologies the next chapter is also long but a lot more entertaining!

CHAPTER 2

As soon as we arrive in Cousins every summer, we always stop at this gas station a few miles from Carla’s to get gas and snacks.

“Come on y/n let’s get snacks while Connie fills the tank. Connie just meet us inside when your done”

“Got it!” Me and my brother said unanimously

I walked in and went straight to the slushie machine. Half cherry, half coke. Perfection! I got a couple airheads, a bag of cheetos and made my way toward cashier. He was tall, very pale, and had red hair. He wasn't a very attractive guy but he wasn’t particularly ugly either. The closer I got to the register the more our eyes met and the more his attractiveness started to increase.

“ Hey, im Floch, and you are?” he said with a smirky tone of voice

“Hey im y/n” I responded. I reached out to slide him my snacks and slushie and when he reached out to grab them from me, our hands touched. I blushed, he chuckled a bit.

“ I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here in cousins, I’d definitely remember if I saw a pretty girl like you, this your first summer?” He said as he rung up my items

“Oh umm no I’ve been coming here since before I can remember I just don’t really get out much” I could feel my cheeks get hot as my mind was still lingering in the compliment he gave me.

“ Well if you wanna get out more, all us summer Cousins kids are going out to the beach for a bonfire, if you wanna come?” The way he said it. The way his voice lingered when he said “if”. This is what Hitch meant. I had to take advantage of this opportunity!

“ yeah sure I’d love to-“

“Love to what?” My mom said curiously. I could hear Connie “oooooohhhh-ing” from the back of the store

“Nothing! See ya later” I had a goofy cheesy grin on my face. I couldn’t believe it, a boy wanted to invite me somewhere! I had to be there. Mom and Connie followed me back to the car.

“🎶We wanted to believe there was no

No Hell on Earth worse than what we know🎤” I sang out.

“Y/n. No” Connie said hiding a smile

“But every day just seems to worsen We weren't prepared at all🎤”

“🎤Now we must rise to this occasion Devoid of all consideration” I heard my mom hun in the back. After a few more verses we were all screaming at the top of our lungs,

“SASAGEYO SASAGEYO SHINZOU WO SASAGEYO!!🎤🎶” the song ended just as we pulled up to Carla’s beach house. When I got out the car I met with Jeans eyes. It felt like I was looking at a completely different person. Like he hadn’t been my best friend since before I can remember.

“ Y/N!!” He said as he took me in for a big bear hung

“ jEaN!” I said as he lifted me off the ground still bear hugging me

“Damn,Look at how big you’ve gotten! You're not out little y/n anymore” I blushed a bit when he said it.

“Yeah I guess I am changing” I walked over to Eren to hug him but decided against it at the last minute. He, like Jean, looked different too. His hair was a lot longer, he was taller, and you could definitely tell he was more toned than before. But the main thing I noticed was his aura. Something felt off with him. Like he was masking an important feature that made him, him.

“Hey, Eren” i said

“I see you stopped wearing your glasses.” That’s it?! That’s all he said to me?

“Yeah I guess I grew out of them!”

“I liked you better with them”

“Well,” I started, “ I like me better without them,” I said in a snarky tone. Eren was acting differently. Something was definitely up. I looked over at Jean and he had a look in his eye. The kind of look he gave before he did something he knew was bad.

“ guys,” he began, “ you know what time it is?”

“ no. No, no, no, no,no!!” I protested playfully

“Y/N SWIM! Y/N SWIM!!” They all chanted. They picked me up, Connie at my feet and Eren and Jean on each arm. They carried me to the pool out back.

“1!” They all said with a swing. “2! 3!” Before I knew it I was catapulted into the pool. I could hear them all up there laughing and I couldn’t help but laugh too.

“ Come on Jean, help me out of the pool” I said as I reached my arm out. When he grabbed my hand I saw a perfect moment for revenge. I had pulled Jean in the pool along with me. Connie and Eren just laughed and in that moment I saw a glimpse of the old Eren.

CHAPTER 3 Hange pov

“We are all set for your party tonight” the book store attendant said to me

“Great!” I replied.

“How was your?” He asked

“Oh my publishers didn’t send me on tour for this one, it’s been a pretty quiet release!”

“Are you on social media?” The girl asked. “You should really be on social media!”

“Ah, well, no, I’m not.”

“Are you working on something new?” He asked

“Always!” I replied Carla walked over and asked,

“How many copies did you make for tomorrow's night?”

“I think 20”

“Oh, that’s not nearly enough!” Carla protested “I’ve invited half the town!” She exclaimed. I looked at her in shock.

“What?” I said “ you said this was just going to be a small thing?!”

“Look, Petra,” she said to the store clerk “ I am so sorry but you might have to run to the Barnes and Noble in Portsmouth and get some more.”

“Business has been slow we haven’t had many copies of anything coming in” Petra said. Carla picked up a book off the counter and said

“ You must have 100 copies of this book?!”

I read the front of it

“ Levi Ackerman is the off brand Jonathan Franzen. Levi Ackerman is such a phony name. it’s like “hi I’m masculine but I’m intellectual” I mocked “ I bet Hemingway is his hero“

“Mm-hmm” Carla agreed

“ I bet he has horn rimmed glasses!” I teased some more.

“Yeah,see? I I held up his picture in the back of the book. “Yeah,” I heard a voice from across the room. “Contacts irritate my eyes.”

“Goodbye Levi!” The store clerk said as the man walked out the door.

“Yeah that was him,” Petra said “ he’s renting the Burke house this summer“

“Oh, that’s a nice place!” Carla said

I put the book back down on the counter ashamed of the situation.

“Sorry” I winced

CHAPTER 4

On the first night we always have Carla’s special, Stuffed bell peppers for dinner

“Eren, I heard you quit football,” my mom said

“Yeah. what’s it to you?” He replied

“ So, Connie, I heard you got a job for this summer?” Carla asked

“ oh yeah I’m gonna be working at the rec center-“

“Wait seriously!?” Jean cut off “me too!”

“Jean it’s not nice to cut people off”

“Sorry mom” Jean said he turned back to Connie “I’ll be a lifeguard at the pool”

“Saweet!!” Connie said. He always says dumb stuff like that.

“Y/n, as you know you're becoming a woman,” Carla began “ and here in Cousins we have our annual Debutante Ball and I think you should do it!” My mother practically choked at the news.

“ Ball?” She spat out “ that’s not really y/n’s style, right?” For the longest time I’d always seen Carla as a second mom. I always tried to please her and do everything like her. I even wished sometimes she was my mother. This would be my chance, my chance to do something for Carla to make her proud.

“ Sure,” I heard myself blurt out “I’ll do it. It seems harmless”

“Y/n, I don’t think you know what your getting yourself into” my mother lectured “ a ball is a lot of work and dedication and if I’m being honest you’ve never been one to really care about such things” I could feel the tension in the room rise.

“ Well Mother, it’s my decision and I’m doing it.” Eren rose from the table,

“May I be excused please?” He asked Carla

“Aren’t you going to finish dinner?” She rebuttal

“No, mom” he said sternly “now may I go?”

“Sure,” she replied. The table went silent.

After Dinner I went outside to find Eren. He was sitting along with his feet in the pool smoking a bud. I sat down next to him. He couldn’t have been more bothered to acknowledge me.

“ Smoking is bad for your health, you know?” I told him

“ Well it’s good for my stress,“ he replied. I looked into his eyes trying to find a glimpse of the old Eren, of who he was. Nothing.

“ hey you preached it first” he looked at me with a playful grin.

“ I guess I did, didn't I?” The tip of his bud met the concrete and he threw it across the pool.

“Are you seriously considering this ball thing?” He asked me

“”I mean yeah, I’ve gotten nothing better to do”

“Don’t let my mom make you her little doll because she never had a daughter”

“I don’t mind, sometimes I really wish I were her daughter!”

“Your better off with Hange, trust me”

Before I could get anything else out of him Connie and Jean came running at the house

“Come on Eren!” Jean had called “we ready to hit to the bonfire”

“ Can I come?” I asked joyfully

“ hell no!” Connie told me “ you're not old enough yet” I was furious at those words. I was old enough to go. And you know what? I didn’t need them, I'd go on my own. As soon as the boys left the house I ran upstairs to change into Hitch’s slutty outfit. To be honest I didn’t look that bad. I could get used to this me. The new me. I slipped on my shoes and tiptoed towards the door. Before I left I saw Hange and Carla sitting on the couch together watching a musical. My favorite one actually. West Side Story. I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe one day me and Hitch would be like that. Growing old together watching movies on a couch. I slowly opened the door and left. I’d walked in the dark for about 6 minutes until I heard the laughs of teenagers. I saw the glow of the bonfire and knew this was it.

CHAPTER 5

I walked down towards the bonfire and was immediately met with the smell of beer. I saw other kids drinking and making out. I walked out a bit more and I saw Floch, the guy from the gas station who invited me. He was making out with some blonde chick when he saw me. He quickly pulled away and ran over to me.

“Hey, it’s not what it looks like I was just-“ I cut him off.

“Just making out with some girl knowing good and well you invited another one here. Cuz that’s what it looks like to me!” He looked unbothered.

“That’s not it. See she was just holding your place till you got here!”

“And you know what? She can have that place cuz I don’t fuck with man whores.” Angrily I stormed off. How could I have been so foolish to really believe a guy liked me.I looked around a bit and I saw Eren. “ finally a familiar face“ I thought to myself. Until I saw him lean in and kiss another girl. I’m that moment my heart sank. I’d known Eren was probably interested in other girls but, to see it with my own two eyes boiled up a whole new anger in my heart. I could feel myself tear up. And Jean must’ve seen it too, because immediately after he came to me and pulled me away from the scene.

“Hey,” he shouted cheerfully “y/n is here!” I saw Connie’s head whip around.

“Y/n what the hell are you doing here? I told you not to come!” He had his arm around some girl I'd never seen before. She had her dark brown hair in a high ponytail, a Nirvana crop top on and a bikini thong.

“Because I can do whatever I want. I’m not a damn baby Connie!” He looked furious now

“Why am I even arguing with you? I'm taking you home now!”

“Con,” Jean interrupted, “just give her this one night.” Connie looked at him unamused “please 🥺” he said giving him a little pouty lip.

“Fine!” Connie said “but if you dare to even look at a drink you're out”

CHAPTER 6 Carla pov

“ When the boys threw Y/n in the pool today, I swear I almost saw a smile on Eren’s face. He was in a better mood today than I’ve seen him since him and Historia broke up” I said to Hange

“ I didn’t realize they were that serious?” She replied

“ Neither did I“ we both chuckled. “ he’s just always in such a bad mood. So unlike himself.”

“ since when did he quit football?“ she asked me.

“ A couple weeks ago. He only ever played football to please Grisha. I told you they weren’t getting along. I'm just gonna… let him have his space, you know? let him do his thing.” Hange looked at me with a concerned look.

“ don’t you think maybe it’s time you talked to him?” I looked at her blankly

“ There's nothing to talk about. Can we just have a really great summer like we said we would?” I leaned my arm out to touch her shoulder. We both laughed. “ How's your writing coming?” I asked her

“I just wanna hang out with you,” she replied “I could give a shit about that book right now”

“Liar! You give all your shits about your book. You give too many shits”

“It’s a mid list book” she said “ it’s been out for a month and it’s barely selling.

“ Well it is going to sell a ton of copies tomorrow and I can’t wait to read it!”

“ you never read my books“ she protested

“ Yes I do“ I lied. We both burst into laughter

“ read Levi Ackerman‘s book instead he’s got 150,000 followers on Instagram!” I chuckled a bit

“ you know it wouldn’t hurt you to put yourself out there more. Get on Tinder while your at it” I teased

“Oh my God, please stop!”

“Okay, okay. Maybe not tinder but what is the e app for the 40 and up crowd?”

“Oh I’m begging you stop!“ she cried out

“It’s Ourtime?!” I teased more

“No it’s not!” She said while laughing up a fit.

I scooted in closer and we laughed even harder. I looked at her with soft eyes.

“What?” She asked

“I really think you should let y/n have her deb season.”

“Please” she began “Debutante Balls are just so problematic!”

“I really want to see our girl in a white dress” I told her. Hange looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

“Fine. You win!”

“I always do” I told her

“ is still think it’s a bad idea” she exclaimed

“She might surprise you” I said as I rested my head on her shoulder “people can change you know?”

“Not us though.” She said

“Right,” I agreed, “ you and I are immovable objects.” We sat there together looking out on the lake.

CHAPTER 7

Yess! I had managed to stay. I turned around to talk to Jean but he was already gone with his friends playing an idiotic drinking game. I walked around a bit more until I saw some commotion over where Eren was. I quickly ran over to the scene to find a drunk Eren screaming at another guy.

“Give me the fucking beer back, Reiner!” He yelled

“Dude get your own!” He clapped back

“IT WAS MINE FIRST!” Eren lunged at the other guy knocking the beer out his hand. The two started throwing punches.

“Ereh, please stop, I'll get you another beer!” The girl he was making out with said

“Mikasa, stay out of this!” Eren yelled in a headlock. The boys started throwing punches at each other. I had to stop the fight. I ran over to Eren and pulled his arm back.

“The hell?!” Eren said. He had flung his fist back and striked me across the face. I held my cheek in awe. Jean came and held me from behind. Eren looked up and realized what he had done.

“I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t” a drunken Eren said to me. My eyes started to tear up. I felt stupid for trying to come to this party. I ran over to the empty part of the beach and sat there and cried.

A little while later. I heard feet in the sand walking towards me. I looked up to find a tall white boy with short blonde hair and soft eyes sit down next to me.

“Hey” he said to me

“What do you want?” I replied back

“I just wanted to see if you were okay, that was a pretty nasty fall,”

“Yeah it was.”

“Is your far okay?” He asked

“Yeah it’s feeling a bit better”

“Well umm.. I have a cold beer if you want it?”

“I don’t drink.” I told him

“No,no,no me either,” he exclaimed “not to drink for your cheek.” I could feel my face get hot.

“Thanks” I held the beer up to my cheek “I’m sorry I didn’t even get your name.”

“Armin. Armin Arlert. And you?”

“Y/n L/n”

“That’s a very beautiful name”

“Thanks” we talked for what felt like hours. He seemed so familiar yet he was so far from it.

“Oh no” we heard someone from up the beach yell. “THE POPO ARE HERE!” I saw Jean run down the beach toward me. He grabbed my arm

“Come on y/n we gotta go!” Armin got up with us. Jean carried a wasted Eren on his shoulders to the car. He put Eren in the back seat and got in the driver's seat.

“Come on y/n get in the car” Jean yelled

“Actually I wanted to ride with Armin-“

“No actually you're gonna get your little ass in the car!” Jean had never used that tone of voice with me before. It was scary but effective.

“ When can I see you again?” I asked Armin.

“Well you could see me Saturday and the drive in movie and 8?”

“It’s a date” I said blushing “till next time

“Till next time!” He leaned in toward me and planted a kiss on my lips.

“Ewwww, Nasty” I heard Eren say from the back seat.

“Holy shit!” Jean said “I forgot about Connie! Don’t fucking move! I’ll brb” he raced out the car and down the beach to find Connie. I could help but smile at the thought of Armin. He made me feel so happy and warm inside. I felt Eren reach and his hand from the back seat and touch my hair.

“Your hair is like a little kid's hair,” he said, “always so messy. Y/n..” he started to say then there was a knock on the window. We both looked up to see an office.

“Have you kids been drinking?”

CHAPTER 8

The office trailed the four of us home. When she rang the doorbell my mother, Hange, answered it.

“Thank you so much for bringing them home, officer.” She shut the door “What were you kids thinking, getting drunk like that and having an officer bring you home?

“Mom,” Connie started, “ it wasn't even a big deal the cops just wanted to break up the bonfire!”

“ Wasn't a big deal? Con, you were escorted home by the police! THAT'S a pretty big deal to me!” You could hear Connie sniff the air a bit

“Were you guys smoking weed?” He asked

“What? Keep your voice down! Carla’s sleeping on the couch!”

“I wasn’t yelling you were mom.” Connie protested

“Just so you know Hange,” Jean began “ I wasn't drinking at all tonight. I was the DD I swear!”

Eren! You're the oldest. I expect so much more. What the hells got into you?” She looked at me “and when did you start leaving the house without telling anyone? And what the hell are you wearing?” I looked up at her

“It’s Hitch’s dress, and why am I the only one not allowed to go out-“

“It’s not that you can’t go out, it's just you need to tell someone before you leave.” She cut off “and how the hell did you even get there?”

“I walked,” I said under my breath. “You walked.” She mumbled as she put her hands to her head. “ you know better than to walk that far down the beach at night!” She's really pissed me off. I’d been her sweet innocent child for long enough. I deserved to have fun and to have my own life. She let Eren, Connie, and Jean live there life however but when I came to be I could do shit.

“Would you stop treating me like a child!” I lashed out at her. She looked me deep in the eyes, “if you wanna be treated like and adult… act like one!” She finished off her sentence in a stern voice. The kind that sent goosebumps down your arm.

“Then maybe y’all should too.” U was surprised to hear Eren say.

“Excuse me?” Mom asked as she looked at Carla’s boys “I just want you all to know that this night could’ve ended a lot differently if your family wasn’t your family.”

“We’re really sorry Hange.” Jean said

“Just go to bed guys.” I was the first one to leave. I went to the kitchen to grab a cold bag a veggies for my face. I went upstairs and changed into my night clothes. I laid back in my bed to sleep when I heard a knock through the wall. It was Jean. He’s still remembered our secret code from the summers before. I laughed softly before putting the bag back on my face and going to sleep.

CHAPTER 9 Eren pov

I got up from the bench to go to my room when I felt Hange grab my wrist.

“I don’t understand what’s going on with you?

“Nothing,” I told her “I’m fine”

“Eren!” I heard her say as I went into the living room. I saw my mother laying there on the couch. I took the throw blanket and placed it over her. I loved her but the sight of her made me so angry sometimes. I just wished she wouldn’t try so hard. So hard to pretend like everyone and everything was gonna be okay.

A/N

thank you so much for reading this part! It’s my first real fanfic that I've done. I’ve been so excited to write this and it’s so great that people actually like it. Again please let me know what else you guys wanna see and part two will be out next Tuesday. I’ll try to keep this consistent. Thank you all for the support and I’ll see you in the next part!

#eren jaeger #jean krischtein #armin arlet fluff #aot texts #aot x black reader #aot #x yn #tsitp conrad #tsitp x you #carla jeager #grisha jaeger #reiner x you #aot floch #commander hange #captain levi #connie springer #tsitp jeremiah #tsitpxaot

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leafcabbage · 1 year

Note

OKOKOK

yes, each universe has their own tommy and tubbo and rip-anboo

in tommy’s universe (#1), he and tubbo were close before meeting ranboo but after meeting them, it was rare that any of them were seen apart. i picture his universe to be very picture-perfect, snappy colors and clean lines. all of his relationships are so seemingly perfect, but with tubbo and ranboo it really actually IS for once. there’s no arguements, no hangups. they are all as perfectly close as can be, like they’re pulled by gravity together to form this brightest star. tommy’s past is undeniably messy in a world where clean perfection is commonplace, and he finally feels complete with his trio.

after ranboo dies, both tommy and tubbo are crushed. it doesn’t take long for tommy to reveal his identity to tubbo, and while he’s accepted with tiredly open arms there’s little comfort in it. while they are still friends, undeniably close, he cant imagine his life ever being as perfect as it was for those six months that they knew ranboo, and tubbo knows it too.

in tubbo’s universe (#2), he and tommy were on and off friends that were eventually tied together by ranboo- they were the glue really holding the two of them together. tubbo’s world is a lot darker than tommy’s (#1)- muddy colors, consistent rain. ranboo was able to part the clouds for him and tommy, in a relationship where they loved him like the sun and each other like drinking buddies. it’s not that they weren’t close, but more that they were brought together by a common thread.

when ranboo died, tubbo almost instantly is ripped from tommy’s company. he takes this to mean that maybe they weren’t ever as close as he hoped, though really it was tommy’s way of coping. having lost the light of his life and the next closest moon, the city went without a spiderman for a year. he was devastated. eventually he returned to clean up the mess he had left but he never, ever got over it.

in ranboo’s (#3) universe, he doesn’t know tubbo or tommy well. they have a ‘say hi in the hallway’ kind of relationship; due to him never having to be saved by spiderman, they dont have much reason to talk. ranboo’s universe is softly bright, like there’s consistent dappled light with a little bit of haze. he would like to get to know either of them better but views them as almost too good for him.

he has lost both of his parents in the same accident as the books- unrelated to any supervillains, just an unfortunate circumstance. he still experiences seizures, which was what he attributed his spidey-senses too for over a year. out of fear that his health was getting worse, he began to isolate himself more and more where he eventually noticed the other changes that had come about at similar times and eventually became spider-pog. he does not believe that he can truly save anyone as he is, even with radioactive powers, which is a large contributer to his under-appearence as spider-pog. for the most part before meeting tommy (1) and tubbo (2), he dealt with civil disputes in cases where the police may have overlooked the situations due to lack of violence. he wasn’t un-helpful, but he did save most of the crime-fighting for those he thought were more suited for it.

none of the boys have met their alternate universe counterparts. in the case of tommy’s world, the boys are scared tubbo (1) would put pieces together about an alternate ranboo. in tubbo’s world, he has not made up with tommy (1) and does not feel the need to reconnect with him (just yet?)

im. so. autistic. about. this. i am VIBRATING im LOSING IT oh my GOD okay okay okay

first of all. im now imagining ranboo having spidey sense go off and them being like "oh god is this a new aura thing. am i gonna have a seizure" and when they dont theyre like "oh was that a new kind of seizure? i should tell a doctor" and then they dont tell a doctor. ever.

seconds of all. LOVE the descriptions of how each of their universes look. like i LOVE that so much its so perfect holy shit. i can imagine it so vividly. i especially love what you chose for ranboo !!!!

universe 1's relationship between tommy and tubbo is making me CRAZY btw. losing ranboo... having each other but its not the same... and comparing that to tubbo losing tommy after ranboo dies in universe 2... god i love the comparisons of how grief hits them... how sometimes it does tear people apart. like obviously they had a different relationship from the start, but still.

oh this is just making me think like... when ranboo finds out about tommy and tubbo's ranboos, and about what happened, i think they would just be so sure that all they are is a chance for tommy and tubbo to do things right. theyre a do-over, something to alleviate some guilt, its not about them as an individual, its about them being a ranboo. i guess im assuming here that tommy and tubbo would Not tell ranboo about the versions of them that died. but i can totally imagine ranboo asking why they cant see tommy and tubbos universes, and the boys are especially adamant about ranboo not seeing tommy's just in case they happened to meet universe 1's tubbo... that would be Bad

but yeah i think if ranboo found out about other ranboos, they wouldnt want to even see tommy and tubbo anymore, at least for a while. they thought they finally had people who cared about them for who they are but no. no they were just there to make the two feel better about themselves.

#also rip-anboo im SCREAMING #spiderverse drdi au #spiderverse spoilers #cabbage answers #sappholopodding #i realize i didnt ask any questions here but if you have thoughts based on what im saying PLEASE SHARE !!! though ill probably go to bed-#-soon but will reply ASAP if thats the case

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katanadepapel · 11 months

Text

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

💙BLUE HEART 💙

Chapter 4- perfect company

Naomi’s POV 💚

I was lying on my bed, and I know it's crazy, but I have this habit of lying on my bed upside down with my legs crossed and leaning against the wall.

I felt vibrations on my cell phone and saw that it was a voice call from my stepmother.

*Plays Bruno Mars, Uptown Funk*

- Hi Agatha! -

-Hi my daughter, it's Agatha, how are you, are you okay? Did you get home from school?-

- Yes, I got home from school safely, the nanny left, Thomas and I had lunch and now he's watching Backyardigans on television.- I said looking at my purple and blue nails.

- We're here waiting for you to take Thomas to the birthday party of one of Tommy's friends, Sydney, which is in half an hour; Apart from the madness that happened in my class today, you wouldn't even imagine it happened...-

.....

When I finished speaking I only heard silence on the other end of the line.

.....

- Agatha? Are you still there?-

....

- Look Naomi, your father won't be able to arrive early today, he told me he's stuck at college, and I... I'm going to be investigating another case of theft in a fancy jewelry store and I won't be early either-

-So could you take your little brother to Sydney's party in my place?-

I felt frustrated and upset again, but it wasn't a surprise for me, it's not the first time they leave work super late, they work a lot and if I complained she might be disappointed, and the guilt of ingratitude would hammer in my head. .

- It's ok! Don't worry, I c-can do this, yes-

- I'm sorry my daughter, I really can't give up this work, have fun! Message me when you arrive-

- Actually, I'm just going to leave him there and go back home, I don't really like Sydney's family, including the parties, they're very boring, besides, the party will be at their house, which is in another seven buildings, Thomas won't be too far away-

I said it honestly, I really don't like Sydney's family, they're crazy, but they're not bad people, they would take good care of Thomas, and my little brother is always comfortable there, so it's fine with me.

- It's okay, darling, I understand you, *laughs* take him there, and go straight home, you know how your father dies of worry when you step out the door-

I laughed

-Now I have to go, bye bye!-

-Bye bye, good luck with that case!-

I said, trying hard not to show my sadness in my speech, just now that something revolting happened to me at my school, they stay late at work.

“Nami, who was on the phone, was it mommy?” I hear Thomas speak with a grin as he opens my ajar door wider.

“Yes Tommy, it was mommy, but she said that unfortunately they won’t be able to take you to the party, because the work there is heavy, and they will be home very late."

After saying that, my little brother's almost toothless smile disappeared and he lowered his head, my heart sank just seeing him like that.

I knelt on the floor and held his face, making him look at me, and I made a funny face, cross-eyed and sticking my tongue out at him, I thought it would help to get rid of that look, but apparently it did nothing.

“What’s wrong, you didn’t think the face was funny?”

“I wanted mommy and daddy to be here, I didn’t want they to stay at work any longer.”

I now understand the reason for her expression, he was upset, for a child, father or mother not being present is very disappointing for them.

“Don't be like that Tommy, because as long as your BIG SISTER is here, you won't miss this party, no way! Because she will take you!” He said, standing up, posing as Superman and raising my voice, which made him laugh a lot.

What a nice laugh he has, so cute.

“And it’s a costume party, which costume are you going to?”

He put his hand on his chin thinking, and thinking.

“Static Shock!” He screams and jumps simultaneously.

"So, what are you waiting for? Go put on your clothes, and it’ll be 16:30 p.m!”

He runs to his room to dress in his Static Shock costume, I was happy with my brother's joy, but then I felt hurt again, it wasn't just me, I remembered that Leo was feeling bad too, so I decided to apologize to him for my annoying behavior.

It's because I get annoyed when I'm really upset yet I could have hurt him.

MIMI: HEY, WHAT'S UP LEON ARDO, how are you?☺️😁

MIMI: SRY for making fun of you earlier today, I thought you were over it😔😔😔

MIMI: SOOOORRRYYY!!!😭😭😭😭😭

I'm J/K!!!!!

🥺

👉👈

I love emojis

I'm a very happy girl, and the irritation is what's left of me not to show when I'm sad, I don't like expressing myself that way, but he doesn't know that, and he can't know.

I was looking at yesterday and when he sent the message, then I read it.

Leo: It's okay mimi, it wasn't your fault.😊

Leo: I knew you were just trying to cheer me up, but in reality, I wasn't in the mood☁️ ☀️

When reading the message he sent to me, I was a little confused, but I was also relieved, I hadn't hurt him! But do you know when you feel like something isn't 100% right after a message from a friend, even with positive words? So, I felt suspicious.

I put my feelings aside at the moment, as he seemed to be hiding something, which affected his personality, he acted introverted.

NAMI: I noticed, these last few weeks you've been quieter,🤐😔🫥 sad and isolated, Leon, do you want to talk about this?

NAMI: I'm worried.😟

I sent the message, I stretched my arms on my bed while I waited for his response, I was holding my cell phone with my right hand, still lying upside down, after about 5 minutes I felt my cell phone vibrate and I noticed that he had finally responded.

Leo: Well, yes😔

I was surprised, he really wanted to talk, but venting on the phone wasn't a good idea, because of the sad face emoji I knew it was serious.

NAMI: Meet me on the terrace of my apartment, face to face is better.😊

Leo: Okay. I'll be there. 😄😊

NAMI: See you there then. ✌️😊💙

“Time to play psychologist!” I said, jumping out of bed quickly, I changed into a long white blouse, with a Grizz of 'We Bare Bears' print and dark gray knitted pants, ready to leave the house to take Thomas to his little friend's party.

I took my e-scooter and put on my helmet and Thomas' helmet; We left the house, and I looked at the phone and it was 16:54 p.m., there would be time for me to go and come back before Leo arrived on my terrace, so I went with Thomas in front of me, obviously.

*A while later*

I arrived at Sydney's family's apartment, that clingy kid, who farts all the time, the farter boy; For me, I would end the friendship so as not to influence Thomas, but he likes farter, so I left Thomas there, and he flew off to play without saying goodbye.

Ungrateful

I didn't even care, I left.

I left the building, already putting the scooter on the ground, ready to go home, before Leo, I put on my helmet and flew like the wind.

I love speed, I'm like Lightning McQueen.

I was doing well, and I was almost home, until I had a certain brown cat that had so many places to run, but he immediately chose the same place where I was going to pass with the motorcycle.

As I'm HIPER exaggerated when it comes to speed, and I didn't have time to brake, you already know what happened!

*Sound of wheel dragging on asphalt*

I practically flew off my e-scooter, and that damn cat was unharmed, so I hate you!

At least I was wearing a helmet and pants so my left knee wouldn't grate.

Since I no longer have a right knee

“I HATE CATS!” I screamed angrily while still on the ground, until I heard a calm and familiar voice behind me.

"You, and my father."

I looked to see who had said such a thing and realized it was Leo, who was walking quickly towards me, and then crouched down, apparently worried.

"Are you well? Did you get hurt a lot?” He said, examining me, seeing if I had been hurt, I gently pushed him away.

“It’s okay Leo, relax! I’m just a streak of bad luck, no big deal!”

He laughed a little.

“That makes two of us” Leo extends his hand to me and I accept the help; we stood up laughing as I cleaned the dirt off my pants and blouse.

I had only scraped my right elbow, the palms of my two hands and a little on my face; from the way Leo was looking at me, he obviously already noticed the bruise on my left cheek, gently cupping my face to get a better look, the touch of his fingers on my skin made my face heat up a little, and I don't know why, but my heart rate increased too.

“Your guardian angel must be tired of protecting you, you always get hurt.” He speaks ironically, laughing and smiling with his teeth, meeting my gaze, and my face is still in his hand; Our eye contact lasted about ten seconds until I came back to reality and quickly moved away from him, to cut this 'atmosphere'.

“Guardian angel? *snort* Mine is definitely retired!” I said covered in sarcasm, and he rolls his eyes showing a crooked smile.

It's not my fault for interrupting the atmosphere, I was embarrassed at that moment, that's all; Leo is so sweet to me, but we're just friends, apart from the fact that I don't want to fall in love again.

I looked at him, he was looking at the ground, and his smile slowly fell, looking very sad.

Just like that emoji 😔

Leo is an open book, with no doubt that the sadness and depth of it is not something he should hide, so I thought a conversation on the terrace wouldn't make him feel better, he needs to get out, and now that people accept mutants, it's even better.

So I went down, went to my electronic scooter that was on the ground, held it with my right hand and went back to get the giant turtle; With what I had to spare, I grabbed Leo's hand and pulled him across the street.

“Naomi, what are you doing?!” He asks in amazement at my sudden act.

“Let’s go out, enjoy the afternoon…/night… in a normal way, even though you need it more than I do.” I said looking up at the sky, and then looking forward again.

I couldn't even look at him, I was holding his hand! On the outside I look fine, because I know how to hide it well, but on the inside, my heart was racing.

Deep down, I didn't want to stay at home alone, I needed to go out too, but I didn't even think about where we could go, but it wasn't just my heartbeat that increased, my stomach growled too, I hate being hungry but I thank my stomach for the great idea now.

“Are you hungry? I know a place we can go.”

#mutant mayhem leo #tmnt mutant mayhem #naomi mendes #namimendes #fanfic #tmnt oc #tmnt fanfiction

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