#if someone is not hostile and open to talk then it’s okay to disagree. and not all conversation is about converting or winning

[bleue-flora]

I didn't say they don't believe in the staged finale, but they think it's a retcon. A retcon is when something is added to the story that contradicts past information, rewriting it, so they think the finale was originally real and c!dream wanted to do all that, and only closer to the prison break, cc!dream decided to change that part of the plot or something

and it's funny because theories about the discs finale being staged started popping up literally right after that stream and a lot of c!inniters were making fun of or even harassing people who were creating such theories, and also, the content creators themselves admitted that it wasn't a retcon and that a limited circle of people knew about it, it was just kept a secret from everyone. I just really think it's pointless to talk to people who thinks everything is about c!tommy and who think that all of c!dream's actions are centered around c!tommy, that, well, they continue to believe that even though it's refuted by the plot and by the content creators and by the people who love and analyze the character.

it's just, ugh, what kind of conversation can you have with someone who believes that c!dream is a one-dimensional character who was only written to be obsessed with c!tommy and be the "perfect villain" for the "perfect victim", who believes that all characters are just an extension of c!tommy because to them c!tommy is all that matters in the plot. it's simple, these people hate dream smp and they don't care about the efforts of content creators to create interesting multifaceted characters, they are only interested in c!tommy. you can't get a sane dialogue from a person whose brain is so washed that he believes in the stupidest conspiracy theory in the world, and with some c!tommy fans the same🤷‍♂️

[context a & b]

Kinda the same thing isn’t it? Eh whatever. Regardless, you make a good point though I’d stray away from derogatory terms when talking about people’s opinions even if they aren’t based on fact. It’s honestly less of a conspiracy theory and more just ignoring the truth. Conspiracy theories are somewhat based on the unknown, in this case all the info we get comes from the same place - so you either believe streams and the cc!s and lore they make or you don’t and if you don’t then that’s not a “theory” that’s just an opinion based on misinformation and the lack of truth. Which you are right is rather unproductive to discuss if we can’t agree on the facts, but also we are on a public platform so I kinda see it as also having the discussion with all the other 400 something notes lol. Anyways, even if it was rather unproductive, I kinda came out learning something new and thinking about something in a new way, so I had fun which is the whole point of being here anyways. :)

Now what is kinda funny to me is this whole retcon, rewrite, discounting lore thing anyways, because for example c!Dream was originally supposed to fight with Pogtopia but because everyone was joining their side, cc!Dream had to switch to balance it out so they can even have a war at all and created the revive book so that it made sense for his character. So one of the moments I see used against c!Dream to show he is heartless and doesn’t care about friendship and stuff, is actually more so an instance of a rewrite… and yet we all take it at face value and base whole arguments on it, because at the end of the day, it is the lore we have. What’s interesting to me, is that part of the fun of the Dream smp is that it’s a mess, something cc!Tommy talked about recently. A mess, I personally like to take and look at things in a way to see if there are ways and angles where things can make more sense. That’s part of the fun of this crazy story telling. It’s why I started writing fanfiction in the first place, to fill in gaps or plot holes in lore. If you want a structured story more so centered around a protagonist’s specific suffering then go read Harry Potter (not to reduce that story to just that of course don’t come after me that’s not the point). But to take out things or not look at certain things in the context of other things that happened because they don’t follow the less messy dream smp timeline you’ve created in your mind, is to defeat the point. What will you decide wasn’t intended next, if Tommy burning down Tubbo’s house isn’t important, if staged finale wasn’t supposed to be a thing, then what about Tommy finding Techno’s house, didn’t cc!Techno say how that wasn’t supposed to happen? What about the revival book experiments, they were from a video not even a stream can I say those are a retcon and unimportant since the timeline doesn’t even make sense and actively contradicts itself? What about Tommy’s beach party, could the ccs just not come so they had to improvise and rewrite it so it’s empty on purpose? Like why are we deciding was is and isn’t lore or important lore? You wouldn’t discount a book or movie or tv show because it doesn’t make sense, you’d either try and understand how to make it sense or rewrite what you think would have been better - but at that point it is fanfiction it is your world now, you can do anything you want there but that doesn’t make it canon. Honestly to look at the dsmp as anything less than its entirety is a disrespect to the Tommy, to Dream, to Technoblade and everybody else c!s and cc!s alike. And that’s why I reblogged in the first place, because I felt like it was disrespectful to Technoblade and that felt very wrong to me. You can slander Dream all you want, but don’t discount or take away from part of Technoblade’s legacy.

[pynkhues]

https://www.tumblr.com/fishjellylou/766623772774137856/yall-white-mfs-need-to-stop-speaking-on-louis?source=share

As a disclaimer, I swear I'm not trying to start something, but this person is clearly talking about your post. The only reason i bring this to ur attention is bc

1. They seem to be purposely misinterpreting a lot of what u said and

2. It sums up a certain attitude in fandom that's been bothering me.

You always back up your interpretations with textual evidence and seem very open to other people's interpretations as well, so this type of reaction seems very hostile to me for no reason. And I feel like this readiness to call racism over any differing opinion on Louis only manages to reduce his character and discourage people from exploring his complexities or engaging with the character at all.

At least for me, it makes me scared of sharing any opinion, because people in fandom don't seem to be open to debate and conversation, they just claim one interpretation as the only valid read of the show and anyone who disagrees is suddenly racist.

I guess i just wanted to get your take on it and ask for advice on how to deal with this type of backlash when it comes to engaging in character analysis. Your insight is always appreciated <3

Oh! Yeah, I mean - - they certainly seem to be referring to me without @'ing me!

And mmm, yeah, I'd say it reads to me as a bad faith interpretation of my posts, especially as I certainly wouldn't describe how I wrote about Louis today as a 'diabolical jezebel' - in fact, I think it's lowkey the opposite given I think he's a character who has a healthy sexual appetite which sometimes manifests in the wrong direction as a result of trauma and circumstance, as opposed to the puritanical virgin some would depict him as - and literally, explicitly said that I don't think Louis' a liar, but rather has the normal response of trying to paint himself in a better light in his memories, but y'know, they're allowed their interpretation of my posts, just as they're allowed their own readings of the show.

As someone who's been around the fandom traps for more than a decade, I can't say this isn't something I'm used to, and I kinda think it's important to be okay with it? I make these posts publicly (even if I do try to avoid using main tags lowkey for adjacent reasons to this one), so people can respond to me publicly. That's okay! I've kinda been doing the same with the l*slou fest, so I'd be a huge hypocrite to have an issue with what they do when I'm doing it a little myself, haha.

But to me posts like this also just try to weaponise the idea that being called racist is worse than being racist, and as a result is a way to shut people up, like you said. I'm open with the fact that I'm white and Australian - arguably the worst type of White, haha - and I know that I have race biases that I'm working constantly to unpack, and I work in DEI at my theatre company, so trust me when I say I've done a lot of 'official' training too, which feels stupid to talk about here in this context, but is a reality of Things I've Done.

I engage and read and listen a lot, which is all to say, I suppose, that I do try to be very conscious and present in how I exist in these conversations, and it's a funny thing to come back to fandom spaces where people do want white people to take on a cultural load, want them to engage particularly with characters of colour, want them to create fanworks involving POC - all things fandom is notoriously bad at! - and then ultimately - - y'know. Weaponise race in an attempt to shut down conversations they don't like (and I include a lot of white people in that too). It too often feels like race becomes a moving part to keep characters under certain fan interpretation ownership, which feels symptomatic of broader fandom entitlement.

I don't know. I hear you, basically, and I get your nervousness about engaging, but at the end of the day, conversations won't happen if they don't happen. Sharing your thoughts and knowing - and being able to articulate - your intent while keeping an open mind to criticism and an eagerness to learn is always a positive, at least to me. Some people are going to engage in bad faith - that's kind of inevitable these days, I think - but there are going to be a lot of people who engage in good faith too, and I don't know. A lot of people tell me I have a bit of a crap nose for it, haha, and tend to engage more of the bad faith than I should, but I always try to take things optimistically and in good faith. I like to trust that people mean the best, and when they don't - - well, that's for private chats, haha.

[xxxjarchiexxx]

reading more on anti-civ anarchism that isn't anprim and how anti-civ/post-civ thought can combine with other ideologies because i genuinely find the base thesis of "life and civilization as we know it is inherently an ecological drain on the biome, including the humans within it, and as such we need to find another way" but i disagree fundamentally with the idea that there is any Perfect Past to return to or that nomadic of hunter-gatherer life is anything to romanticize. this is like blatant retvrn fash-adjacency that comes from a lack of research into the reality of pre-'civ' life and often invokes the noble savage caricature etc.

i also just think drawing a firm line on What Civilization Is does a lot of heavy lifting for anti-indigenous racist ideology by defining the pre-settler existences of indigenous people as Not Civilization, but i do see the use of defining civilization on it's own terms/how it is defined culturally even if that's a definition i disagree with

i think this is why i lean towards the vague ideology of degrowth, as it promotes the idea of using what is already existent solely rather than continual progress and expansion and creation (a thoroughly colonialist mindset and one that harms the earth + people). i think i might look more into post-civ as it seems to have developed as an ideology partially out of a desire to separate from anprim adjacent ideology.

truly, the question of environmental impact, decolonization, and free association are the primary rubbing points i have with marxism-leninism/communism et al. and are why i'm looking more into various green anarchy ideology.

green energy is good and better and humans will always have a "carbon footprint" as it were as long as we exist because all living things do, but the impact of mining and consumption on the environment and the people is glaring and while somewhat addressed by existing DOTP, it still feels firmly Not Enough.

similarly, at least in the us, all currently existent communist party projects don't center indigenity or present any sort of plan to dismantle the colonial project aside from "well we'll do land acknowledgements and maybe rename some stuff", which is barely ANYTHING and doesn't engage with the reality of colonization as an ongoing project and current problem in the us.

and finally, free association is something that i can't NOT believe in-- to answer the question YES I THINK LETTING SOMEONE DIE ON PURPOSE IS BAD. but i also think being forced into spending large chunks of your life doing something you do not want to do because if you don't you'll be punished in some nebulous way (prison or physical threats or removal from society) is not okay in any situation. maybe for small temporary situations if ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY but not as a fact of life-- though even then there shouldn't be pressure that is not social, because i can never be ideologically on board with incarceration.

now, necessary disclaimers: i would never rat out communists plotting revolution even to save my own back, i do think DOTP is better than DOTB by a lot, and i do not support fear-mongering about communism or the idea that being a communist of any stripe (even if u support punitive measures i wouldnt) makes u Basically A Fascist.

i'm open to discussion or reading suggestions but if any of this pisses u off enough that u won't be able to kid-gloves talk to me, u should probs just unfollow bcuz i have the sensitive little flower autism and will not understand what is said to me if i'm not walked through it somewhat, and i will Shut Down at hostility

[hausofmamadas]

OHHHHHPUTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (affectionate) the way i came this👌close to paying someone to legit strap me to a gurney so i didn’t quote this whole ass thing line for line BC GOTDAMN, YOU WERE FUCKING ON👏ONE👏WITH THIS INSPIRED SHIT RIGHT HERE

⥈

Silence is heavy in your apartment, but you know he is here, Alejandro, you can sense it, waiting in the dark at your expense. You are not surprised you are next, not when you know how they handle deserters, when you know too much, when they are scared you might talk.

The way I saw the phrases, “you are next,” and “how they handle deserters,” and immediately just like put on my helmet, strapped myself into my iron-man-style spacesuit bc I knew that you were about to rocket launch me on a fucking journey from which I might never return and mentally, bc my mind was so blown and turned to jelly, I’m glad I had the foresight to take these precautionskdjdjdb 

Removing your shoes, dropping your bag. Maybe you are just tired, maybe the doormat wasn’t that crooked, maybe the fingermarks on the handle were yours, maybe-

MAYBE THE DOORMAT WASNT THAT CROOKED FUCKIKKKKKKKKKK DUDE THAT IS SO OMINOUS AND SINISTER like I am just marveling at how you’ve sown the tension and dread and how you’ve managed to convey how high the stakes are in a matter of like 2 fuckin paragraphs like do you even understand the SKILL THAT FUFKINT TAKES CABRONA???????? 

‘’ You know I couldn’t. ‘’ Alejandro sits on your sofa, his back against the cushion, your cat purring on his lap. ‘’ Such a pretty thing like you… ‘’

I mean, this part just– like, okay I have two cats, I am a very much a Cat Person, it’s not that I don’t like dogs but like you have to be a monster to not be a Dog Person, right? Like in a way, I feel like everyone is a Dog Person. BUT I get why ppl have beef with cats, they can be aloof, hard to read, they're picky, very main character syndrome, shit is always on their terms so I think it makes sense that they’re not for everyone but BY GOD IF ALEJANDRO ISNT ABSOLUTELY A FUCKING CAT PERSON, HE JUST IS, oKAY???????? HC ACCEPTED, LIVELAUGHLOVING IT

Side note ppl: the trick to getting a cat to love you is basically to neg them, like just ignore them, bc they’re expecting you to shower them with attention cuz that’s what ppl do with dogs/other cute things, so just think about what you’d do with a dog and do the exact opposite with a cat. also this is gonna sound insane but I’ve forsure hissed at cats that some might call disagreeable, aka downright petty, vicious beasts. Does it look, feel, and sound unhinged and like you should prob be institutionalized? Abso-fucking-lutely. Does it also get a hostile feral creature to know who tf’s in charge? I’ll let you do the math. 

It is meant as a joke, probably, but it doesn’t make you laugh, doesn’t make your insides warm up like they used to.

SKSKSKSKSK I mean given the fact that like one of the most dangerous men in the world if only it could be the most interesting man in the world bc the Dos Equis guy seems like an undercover pacifist, I have exactly no evidence for this but it just feels right just pulled a casual B&E, is now sitting in a dark corner of your home, stroking your cat before he presumably kills you, it would make sense that you’re not getting like the warm and fuzzies under those circumstances sksk

‘’ Can I feed the cat? ‘’ … The cat is up as soon as he hears the pantry open, rubbing on your legs, wet nose meeting your ankles. You put more kibble in the bowl, just in case.

UGH THE WAY MY STOMACH DROPPPEDDOSKSKD AT THIS bc like this is exactly what I’d do if I thought I was gonna die😞😞😞😞😞😞leave extra food for the kitty

You liked his eyes, how he didn’t speak much, didn’t move air, a peacefulness to his presence, weirdly.

The way you describe this man is unparalleled, like I’ve said this 40bajillion times in other screamblogs but this is the exact type of description that makes me, “ohhhhhhh okay, yes, I see what’s happening. This man is just in your bones, in your blood, you know him without even trying.” Bc he is silence, he is smoke, he is mist, he is lethal ……. Aaaaaaaaaand ??? yet ?????? he’s somehow as calming as chamomile tea before bedtime too??? as soothing a presence as the white noise machine I use to fall asleep??? Like if i had to die but got to choose who killed me, id choose Alejandro or Hannibal for their impeccable bedside manner alone

The hours would be longer, the pay better, dirtier.

UNMMMMMMNYou fuckingisshgwgww wordsmith you????? Like I know I’m flipping out over a pretty straightforward sentence which i am but it’s specifically the use of the word dirtier that lends SO MUCH EXTRA COLOR AND TONE AND PERSONALITY AND UMPH that it wouldn’t otherwise have. And I’m just up here in these bleachers, standing up and slow clapping and putting on my microscopic reading glasses and taking microscopic notes in my microscopic detective’s pad andliterally anyone sitting near me is like “can this noisy bitch just pipe down and sit still for one goodgoddamn second so I can enjoy the show”… BABAHWWB JOKES ON YOU, I WILL NEVER REST 

Everything was more hands-on, no more slowly gnawing at it, no more psychological tactics, just raw human nature, animals in cages. Most days would end with you screaming at Matt that you would quit, that this wasn’t what you had signed up for. Oh, but it is, sweetheart, do you know what happens to you if you break this contract?

OH OKAY I SEE HOW TF IT IS SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU A MASTER OF ALEJANDRO BUT YOURE SO CORRECT WITH MATT TOO??????!???????)/:$!:&:! BC ITS NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE ONE MAN DOWN TO PAT, YOU GOTTA BLUDGEON ME WITH THAT, LEFT HOOK TO MY JAW, WITH THAT ONE TWO PUNCH???? Bc yes that condescending use of sweetheart is so just so on the money for him esp trying to intimidate a woman someone

… letting the sound of his breathing ease the voices in your head, letting him trace figures on your back with his fingers until you would fall asleep.

NOOOOOWOWOWOOOWWOLSDKJFAOIWJPFOAQIWHEI3PQAWIU3HAQ[OI3RJ[AQWOIJJK YOU ACTUALLY A DIABOLICAL MF FOR THISSS

like you already had me at him soothing Reader’s trauma/deeply broken mental state, quieting the voices like an antipsychotic medication, buTJ THENNNNNNNN?????FUCKINGTHENNN????? YOU MURDER ME WITH TRACING FIGURES ON YOUR BACK TIL YOU FALL ASLEEP AREAOUSDOFIUASOEYOUFUCKKKKKINGGNNGKDSJFKSLDJFJKIDDDIDING ME WITH THIS SHIT ??????????????????????????????????

Matt wasn’t blind, though, you could see the crease between his brows when you would get on the plane together, how he had started to comment on your outfits, your hair. You could tell he was going fishing, throwing the bait, waiting to see if the wolf would bite. 

No this is actually brilliant it’s making me physically ill bc Matt would 100000% be the type to hit on his own employee but not even bc he’s a regular, run-of-the-mill, predatory creep, but more to fuck with his employees bc he’s trying to sniff out if they’re together by provoking alejandro with jealousy which is just about the most laughable thing bc christ, if that isn't a man who knows how to maintain a poker face like that's his literal job so great plan Matt sfjlskjd so he can sabotage everything, and rig the entire relationship to blow with like 7000 tons of dynamite aka office goss bc that’s just how much of a vindictive girlboss he is

Don’t do this, you know what they think when people leave, what they will do. What they will make me do, he meant, and here he is.

NOOOALEJANDROOO NOT WHAT THEY’LL MAKE HIM DO!!!! BC THEY ABS WILL BC HE’S LITERALLY JUST A FUCKING TOOL, OUR POOR BBY BOI

You can tell Alejandro is somewhere far away now, deep in thought, going back to caress the cat as it snuggles back into him. 

I’m sorry but i will never recover from the fact that he’s a cat person and that it’s so goddamn correct skskskjs it is actual fact now

You know the way he remembers those things so clearly as if he was hovering, watching. He had told you so one night on the jet, when Matt was fast asleep on the couch, when you were seated across from him, when you had asked him if he had dreams too, as vivid, as bloodied. I don’t, he had said, and then motioning to his temple with a finger, but it’s in here, I’m always there.

GOOODDLKJSDF;LAKJSD; I’M LEGITIAMTELY CHEWING ON MY PILLOW AND CHOKING ON MY OWN TEARS CRYINGSLDKFJ BC THIS IS SO???????? LIKE YES???????????????? Idek exactly what it is about it that moves me. I think I just love the complexity bc I feel like with assassins, it can easily become one-note where they’re just sick, twisted, emotionless sociopaths such a snoozeworthy approach imo bc there's no way to make someone interesting who has no real emotional depth But like that’s not what’s happening here, right. He’s not devoid of empathy, I think he’s just reallyreallyreally good at locking it away, like scary good. But he has his limits and doesn’t really relish the job, doesn’t get joy from killing unless it's vengeance which like lskjflskjdl; valid, who hasn't felt homicidally vengeful at least once or twice lbr

HOWMEVER, that's not to say Alejandro is like? normal? ksdjfsk it’s very clear that he is a stone cold mf. He has both seen and done some shit but I’ve always imagined him as just highly compartmentalized, so he locks away the human part to get the job done. And bc he’s so good at detaching from his own empathy, his experience of trauma is diff from most people. He’s literally trained his nervous system not to react to that kind of duress, so he doesn’t have bad dreams or flashbacks, right, BUT at the end of the day, the body keeps the score, that shit will always be knocking around like ghosts in the attic which is exactly what he's saying and i know i’m just babbling now but likelkjdf[]09i3jqj];oeFINW DUDE THE WAY YOU JUST CAPTURED SOMETHING SO SPECIFIC TAHT I HAVE GIVEN ENTIRELY TOO MUCH THOUGHT TO more in relation to my other favorite cold-but-not-psychopathic assassin, mi barroncito ofc AND LIKE NAILED IT SO WELL

After all of it, he means, now that his goal is achieved, that debts are paid and revenge is cold and done.

UGJ ofc he wouldn’t know what to do. bc It’s not like you get your bachelor’s degree whilst carrying out high-risk hits on high-profile targets at the behest of the CIA sksksk in the service of the US’s sick agenda to control everything and everyone and everywhere else even tho there’s so much shit here that needs fixing becauseeverythingsonfireandfallingapart andidkwhyigotsopoliticalwiththis

I can’t, I- 

You can, of course you can.

OOHHH AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO STICK THE LANDING TOO BY BRINGING THIS BACK AROUDN AND SOMEBODY PLS PRAY FOR ME BC IM ACTUALLY INCONSOLABLE RN AND WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS  FIC FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT SEVERAL MANY DAYSOKAYGREATTHANKS[IJ9F[Q0I93=Isk

Of wolf and sheep

Alejandro Gillick x gn!reader, (the usual for the movies, nothing too graffic) 1793 words

a/n : another Alejandro Gillick fic??, I hear you say, and to that I respond, do you mean sexy Alejandro fic, eat my children

Tagging the besties-that-might-like-this as usual @narcolini @drabbles-mc @anunhealthydoseofangst @hausofmamadas

‘’ Are you here to kill me? ‘’

You haven’t turned on the lights yet, boots still on, waiting in the entryway. Silence is heavy in your apartment, but you know he is here, Alejandro, you can sense it, waiting in the dark at your expense. You are not surprised you are next, not when you know how they handle deserters, when you know too much, when they are scared you might talk. It makes your heart beat faster, especially because you know they hold Alejandro in a tight lease like a dog.

If he hears you he doesn’t answer, and so you keep moving, what else is there to do? Removing your shoes, dropping your bag. Maybe you are just tired, maybe the doormat wasn’t that crooked, maybe the fingermarks on the handle were yours, maybe-

‘’ You know I couldn’t. ‘’ Alejandro sits on your sofa, his back against the cushion, your cat purring on his lap. ‘’ Such a pretty thing like you… ‘’

It is meant as a joke, probably, but it doesn’t make you laugh, doesn’t make your insides warm up like they used to. All you feel now is cold, a deep, freezing cold that seeps inside your bones, and tense your shoulders, making bile pill up in your mouth.

‘’ Can I feed the cat? ‘’

A simple question, one that he nods to, one that he understands means you are not jumping on a hidden gun or making a b-line for the bedroom window. The cat is up as soon as he hears the pantry open, rubbing on your legs, wet nose meeting your ankles. You put more kibble in the bowl, just in case.

‘’ Wasn’t easy to find you. ‘’ He continues, ‘’ Montana is large, it was pretty hard to track. You could have moved countries. ‘’

‘’ Just to have you catch the flight log? ‘’ You move to the armchair in front of him, taking a seat, ‘’ I thought I did well, everyone makes mistakes. ‘’

You cross your legs, tucking your feet. He watches your every move, like a hawk, barely moving. Alejandro doesn’t look much different than he was a year ago, black still looks great on him, his arms are bigger, the beard slightly longer too.

Your first mistake was getting recruited by the CIA, a consultant they had told you, something up to your added value. Talent, Matt had called it later down the line, interrogation is what makes the world turn. In a way it did, they all talked, and you went home, cashed your check, just to fly back out whenever was needed. A few months later, you met Alejandro on base, near the Mexican border. You liked his eyes, how he didn’t speak much, didn’t move air, a peacefulness to his presence, weirdly.

And then one day your contract changed hands, no CIA, just Matt, and whoever held the chains. Your second mistake was to accept it, not to ask for a transfer, and join the team. You could sense the heaviness in the interrogation rooms now, notice the dangerous glint in Alejandro’s eyes. The hours would be longer, the pay better, dirtier. Sometimes, Alejandro would join you, make you leave the room halfway in, cutting the camera before closing the door behind you. Everything was more hands-on, no more slowly gnawing at it, no more psychological tactics, just raw human nature, animals in cages. Most days would end with you screaming at Matt that you would quit, that this wasn’t what you had signed up for. Oh, but it is, sweetheart, do you know what happens to you if you break this contract?

Threats, every day, all of it, but you couldn’t allow yourself to find out, not after Kate, not when you had heard words here and there of what had happened. You had gotten to know Alejandro better pretty quickly after that. Maybe you had eventually gained his respect by being so out of bounds every time.

Between the long hours, the endless plane rides, inevitably running into him at the motel bar, even when you thought there was no way something would come out of it, you kept finding him around every corner. And then you kissed him one night, or maybe he did, one drink too much, pressing on you, bringing you up against the bed. Your third mistake. It felt different to be able to touch him, how he would accept it, initiate it even. A breath of fresh air compared to those stuffy interrogation rooms.

You found comfort in Alejandro’s arms, in the dark of night, letting him wrap around you, letting the sound of his breathing ease the voices in your head, letting him trace figures on your back with his fingers until you would fall asleep.

No one knew, no one suspected a thing, and you liked it better that way, as you are sure he did too. Matt wasn’t blind, though, you could see the crease between his brows when you would get on the plane together, how he had started to comment on your outfits, your hair. You could tell he was going fishing, throwing the bait, waiting to see if the wolf would bite. Still, he was always your colleague first, a good one, never late, easy to work with, and then he was something else. Something you couldn’t name, something you couldn’t exactly pinpoint, not lovers, not friends.

Then one day you cracked, like an egg, somewhere in the middle, slicing you in half. A long time coming. I can’t do this anymore, you had told Alejandro, sobbing, huddling in the tub, under the water. You could feel the water in your lungs, the tightness of your chest, in your throat. I can’t breathe, I can’t, I- You don’t remember him turning off the water, gently pulling you out, but you remember him wrapping the towel around you, hugging you to warm you up, brushing your wet hair with his fingertips, rubbing the water of your back. You can, of course you can.

You remember telling him you were done, that when Matt would receive your resignation letter tomorrow you would be long gone. You owed him that, the truth, the why, before leaving and never seeing him again. You couldn’t bear the thought of him wondering, the pain it could cause of losing someone again. Don’t do this, you know what they think when people leave, what they will do.

What they will make me do, he meant, and here he is.

You let yourself sink into the pillows, feel the tightness in your throat, let your shoulders drop. Now that you are closer, you notice more grey in his hair, a sign that time hasn’t stopped for him either.

‘’ Now what? ‘’ You breathe. The air is thick, the room dark. What will you do now?

‘’ I’m not here for you. ‘’ His eyes soften, and he readjusts himself in his seat. ‘’ I killed Alarcón. I’m here because I’m done, it’s over. ‘’

I’m not here for you. I killed Alarcón. It is just Alejandro in your living room, plain, simple, soft Alejandro, no wolf, no sharp teeth, waiting to pounce. Him, here, after that, you think maybe he wants to talk about it. A shoulder to rest on, after all the stress from those years, the hard work, repressing everything down.

‘’ How do you feel? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know ‘’ His dark eyes are back on you. ‘’ Relieved, I guess. ‘’

You are still not over the fact that he is not here to kill you, only looking for comfort, friendship. Your fingers are still tightly wrapped around the armrest, and the fabric bristles as you let go.

‘’ You want a beer? ‘’ A peace offering.

‘’ Hmm. ‘’

You can tell Alejandro is somewhere far away now, deep in thought, going back to caress the cat as it snuggles back into him. He must be there, you think, where Alarcón was that day, he probably feels the gun in his hand, hears the bullets hit the ground. You know the way he remembers those things so clearly as if he was hovering, watching. He had told you so one night on the jet, when Matt was fast asleep on the couch, when you were seated across from him, when you had asked him if he had dreams too, as vivid, as bloodied. I don’t, he had said, and then motioning to his temple with a finger, but it’s in here, I’m always there.

You are alone in the kitchen for a minute and then you aren’t, turning around, knocking into him who is now in front of you, with so little space to spare. Alejandro takes the beer from your hand, gently discarding it on the countertop. You let his eyes run over your face, let him observe for whatever he is looking for. He opens his mouth and then closes it, swallowing words that he decides are not meant to be said.

‘’ I came here because I’m not sure what to do now. ‘’

After all of it, he means, now that his goal is achieved, that debts are paid and revenge is cold and done.

‘’ You’ll figure it out, you always do. ‘’

You don’t flinch when his palm reaches up, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he cups his hand around your face, cradling your jaw between his fingers. You let his fingers warm up your skin, letting the familiarity of it submerge you.

‘’ I meant it, ‘’ he whispers, ‘’ so pretty… ‘’

‘’ I think you need sleep. ‘’ You caution back. It feels overwhelming, having him here, so close, after so many months.

‘’ I guess. ‘’

He trails off, but he is not listening, there is a hunger in his eyes, and you remember all the nights he would look at you like this, soft, tender, something you could mistake for affection. The tip of his fingers caresses your hair, running down the side of your neck, feeling your pulse underneath his touch. He knocks out of it after a few seconds, letting his hand rest on your shoulder instead.

There is a seriousness in his eyes, an int of doubt, something different.

‘’ I know what I need. I’m going to Bogotá, and I want you to come with me. ‘’

I need you to, he means, you’ll be safe with me. You feel as if the wind has been knocked out of you, the blood pumping in between your ears is loud and heavy, you can’t hear yourself think.

I can’t, I-

You can, of course you can.

[apenitentialprayer]

Hi, I just came to the realization that I'm a lesbian. I've also just recently started attending church again. I believe God made me feel this way about other women for a reason even if I don't know what it is yet, do you have any advice?

Hey! First, congratulations on making the decision to go back to church. And congratulations on learning something and coming to a greater awareness of yourself. Regardless of what happens moving forward, I will be praying for you.

Second, I'm not sure if I'm really the best person to ask about this. I have a bunch of LGBT+ Christian followers/mutuals who have a variety of opinions on what it means to be an LGBT+ Christian. If you want, if you contact me again, I can ask around to see if anyone is willing to talk to you.

That being said.

Choosing to be an LGBT+ Christian is going to be a cross. I'm not going to sugar-coat it. There are Christians who will hate and revile you for that. And even among those who don't balk at an LGBT+ identity (even those who celebrate it!) will... expect certain things of you. And I guess that's true about lots of things, but I imagine it would be especially hard for someone who is now trying to navigate between two new potential identities as well.

So, first piece of advice; you don't need to have all the answers now. It's okay to live in tension and ambiguity for a while. There are LGBT Christians who adhere to the more or less unanimous and unchallenged teaching of the Christian community for the last 1750 years; there are also those who use various reasonings and justifications to argue for the permissibility of same-sex relationships. I would seriously consider both sides, taking as much time as you need. And go with the one that's more convincing.

That being said, second piece of advice closely related to the first; however you eventually choose to proceed, it's not like your path is set in stone. It's okay to be wrong; it's okay to not be sure of where you stand on the issue. And it's okay to eventually change your position. You don't have to be an expert, and you don't have to feel like you're locking yourself into something forever. Be open to further developments on your perspective and worldview.

My third piece of advice is probably the most important one, in my eyes at least. Because, regardless of which way you lean, there will be people who not only disagree with you, but be hostile in that disagreement. People who will judge you for 'not taking your faith seriously', or being 'self-hating,' or being 'not a real Christian,' or for 'making life harder for other LGBT+ Christians.'

My advice is to find people who respect you and your ability to make your choices, even if they disagree with them. You are not a pawn in a culture war. You are a living image of your Heavenly Father, a human being with complexities and unique perspectives with the ability to use your reason and the ability to respond to God's grace. Do not let fear and the judgment of people rule you - keep yourself open and on the lookout for truth.

I am hoping that I didn't just scare you off. I do not envy your position. But Jesus warns us to be ready for the road ahead. So sell your cloak and buy a sword; you are called to greatness in Christ, and that calling brings forth opposition. But it also brings love. And I hope that this love is worth it.

[tacticaldiary]

Keep Talking

REQUEST:

Hey dear

I found your requests are open so ah..may I ask for a thing?

So normally no one hears me, not friends or my family...and if they do ones in a while they just tell me straight that I am annoying and my voice annoys them

It breaks my heart and I just shut up most of the time

Anyway, sorry for making it that long but can I have a bakugou and denki hc for an s/o who apologize if they talked too much and just so scared of talking and never race there voice because they think they are annoying?

If you feel uncomfortable please ignore it, thanks anyway 🥺❤

——————————————————————————

Pairing: Reader x Bakugou Katsuki, Reader x Denki Kaminari

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Okay, I’d like to start this by saying that screw all those people who’ve ever told you that. YOU HAVE A VOICE AND IT DESERVES TO BE HEARD. The fact that people continuously put you down for it is shitty and disgusting. You shouldn’t be treated like that, and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that. I hope your doing better now, anon!

Enjoy! :)

Masterlist

——————————————————————————

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou’s presence demands attention. With his loud fiery personality, people can’t help but be curious.

It was hard not to listen to him seeing as how loud he tends to get sometimes.

So, it understandably left some people confused as to how someone as docile and soft-spoken as you ended up being with someone as brash and loud as him.

Though it may not seem like it, Bakugou is a very observant person, so it’s only natural he’s wondered the same thing too.

He never really minded it at first, but over the past few months, he’d noticed how you’d be talking about something you were passionate about, getting excited and all, but would abruptly cut yourself off as if holding yourself back on purpose.

It annoyed him, because he didn’t understand why you were that.

The strained smile on your face as you sat there after stopping yourself made him angry irritated everytime.

Bakugou, ever the blunt guy he is decides to confront you about it next time.

--

“And that’s why I-...” She stops abruptly, the sudden silence encompassing the room. “Uh, sorry...I didn’t mean to sound-”

“Stop doing that.”

His voice makes her jump a little, jostling the both of them from their positions on Bakugou’s bed. He shifts so he’s no longer lying on her stomach and sits in front of her, a frown on his face.

She had done it again. Cut herself off for no reason. He was sick of it and it pissed him off to see her look down after she stopped herself from talking.

There was no use denying it, and by his expression, doing so would only make him more frustrated. Her boyfriend was blunt and straight to the point. It was something she admired about him. Y/N stops herself from playing dumb, answering him with a slight shrug.

“You cut yourself off when you talk. Stop it. It’s stupid.”

“I don’t want to seem annoying.” She finally admits after a minute of contemplation. She looks up and meets his gaze. There’s a beat of silence, where she can feel the air change to slightly hostile as his frown deepens.

“Who the fuck told you that?” He snaps angrily. How fucking dare someone make his significant other feel like that?

“N-no one really. People just...you weren’t really...listening so I just assumed I was being annoying, and I just...” She trails off.

Although he had seemed like he was reading, his attention was fully focused on her words. Still scowling, he raises an eyebrow and proceeds to summarise the entire past minutes she was talking.

“I wasn’t listening?” He fixes her with a sharp look after that, daring her to disagree. Y/N sits there in slight shock.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘Oh’ is right, dumbass. I’d tell you if you were being annoying.” He lays back down on her, but doesn’t grab his book this time. His red eyes fix her into place as he looks up at her.

“Keep talking. I...don’t completely hate your voice.” He admits, the tips of his ears turn a little red, but he doesn’t break his gaze. Y/N processes everything for a few seconds, nodding and reaching up to swipe at her glassy eyes.

They talk through the night, Y/N feeling the happiest she’s felt in a while

Denki Kaminari

Denki is someone who’s prone to rambling on and on excitedly. He’s a cheerful, loud presence.

He’s someone who would literally be wholeheartedly in love, I’m talking head over heels for you.

Someone actually treats him seriously and listens to him and likes him back? He’s sold.

Although he has noticed that you were never as loud as he was, even when you were excited like him. He knows that not everyone shows excitement the same way, so he didn’t think too much of it.

It was the constant apologising that starting making him wonder if something was wrong.

Whenever you finished talking, you would usually apologise. He didn’t get it, because he loved the sound of your voice.

My guy here very literally perks up at the sound of you.

The topic comes up one day when you apologise for ‘rambling’ on about your favourite hobby.

--

“What happens next?” Denki cocks his head to the side, leaning against the counter. He had noticed how quickly the shine in Y/N’s eyes had left as she went quite suddenly, apologising to him.

“What-”

“You gotta finish the story, babe!” He exclaims, pushing himself forwards and moving closer to her, backing her up against the counter behind her. She squeaks as her back hits the counter, Denki placing both his hands on either side of her, keeping her there. His grin is teasing and...concerned at the same time.

“You...you want to keep listening?” She asks cautiously.

“Of course I do!” He leans down and pecks her forehead, his grin widening at her blush. “I love hearing my baby talk.” He really means it. He loves hearing her voice, regardless of the time.

“But-...I didn’t consider that you just came back from training and must be tired.” She says quietly. She cut herself off because Y/N thought she was being inconsiderate. She thought her boyfriend must have been tired from his day, and might’ve wanted to relax in peace.

“I’m never tired around you! You’re my little battery, y’know? I love hearing you talk, so by all means, babe, go on.” he smiles brightly at her. “You could talk all day and I could never be tired! It’s like magic, honestly-” he’s cut off by a grunt as Y/N throws her arms around her neck and hugs him.

“Woah, really showing me the love today, aren’t you?” He chuckles a little, letting her cling to him. She nods against his shoulder, and after a minute of composing herself, she continues talking, still clinging to him.

Requests Are Open And Welcome!

(16/03/2021)

[doreamu-san]

An analysis of SolKy

Hello! Thank you so much for clicking on this. A while ago, I was asked to do an essay explaining why people ship SolKy other than the whole rivals/opposites attract reason, and I got a lot of feedback stating it was useful for newcomers to the ship! As a result I’ve decided to post this on tumblr, but just on the ship’s tag as to not bother uninterested people.

A couple of disclaimers before I begin. This is firstly just my own opinion, so whilst it makes sense for me, other shippers may disagree with my points. I’m also not claiming they are canon because they are not. But I do hope it’ll give some insight into why some people like me enjoy them together.

Even once you’ve read this essay, you can still dislike SolKy. This isn’t an essay stating you have to ship them.

This will be extremely long as I basically cover every single interaction they’ve ever had with each other since I know some people sort of gloss over their dialogue, so grab yourself a drink, get comfy, and I hope you enjoy reading!

(Last edited: 09/05/2021. This will be updated again when Strive releases!)

How this all began

If we’re starting right at the beginning, it’s common knowledge that Ky and Sol weren’t exactly on great terms and often clashed most of the time due to their conflicting beliefs. Ky saw the world in terms of black and white, and had very strict rules on what constituted as right and wrong. Sol seemed to think differently and went against that, which was a stark contrast compared to the other Order members at the time.

Considering that they were in fact, in the middle of a war, you would think that generally people would be willing to put their differences aside and work together.

But Sol wasn’t like everyone else, going off and doing his own thing instead of actually listening to orders, so it’s understandable why Ky found him rather irritating.

However, Ky did grow curious of Sol. Obviously curiosity does not equate to love, but it is the basis of Ky wanting to become more friendly with and know more about Sol. There seemed to be something that Sol knew but Ky didn’t, but how was that possible..? As a result, despite how infuriating he could be, Ky sought to seek out the truth and so fought him for answers.

In regards to why exactly they fight (aside from the fact that this is a fighting game), Ishiwatari wrote something called ‘Hostility is Akin to Love’ right above a picture of them fighting:

Hostility is akin to love Thinking of your opponent’s actions to fight, Reading your opponent’s inner thoughts to fight, Planning attacks that will hit your opponent to fight, And then transmitting your thoughts with those attacks, The more you think of your own advantage, at the same time you think of your opponent, In the instant you mix with your opponent, a passionate feeling arises, and blood boils, Reality is hurt, and you wound your opponent, Hostility is akin to love. — Guilty Gear Isuka Mook

It states how fighting someone can be close to feelings of love because you have to think about what your opponent is doing, as well as how you’re going to respond to your opponent. Overtime, you start to memorise how your opponent thinks, and as a result you’ll know them on a deeper level.

So considering the above, this explains how even though they weren’t on friendly terms, they still formed a bond with one another.

Now we’ve established how exactly their relationship started, and why Ky was curious about Sol in the first place, let’s look at things from Sol’s perspective.

Sol’s attitude towards Ky

We know that Sol was also pretty annoyed by Ky, which was totally justifiable given the extreme way in which Ky thought the world worked. But Sol didn’t exactly dislike Ky.

In order to provide some evidence that Sol cares about Ky, let’s cover that infamous scene everyone likes to reference which shows Sol crying over Ky’s dead body:

Sol:     "I came to pick you up." Ky:      "Always coming late... you never could fix that..." Sol:     "You..." Ky:      "As to be expected... until the very end... I could never beat you..." Sol:     "Don't say anything!" Ky:      "I have... a request..." Sol:     "I said shut up!" Ky:      "After Commander Kliff... carry on... the Holy Order..." Sol:     "Stop it... that's your job!" Ky:      "Please... promise me..." Sol:     "Dammit..." Ky:      "If it's you... you can do..." Sol:     "Hey.... what's wrong. Hey! KYYYYYY!" — Guilty Gear XX Drama CD Side Red, Battle of Rome — Deathmatch

A lot of people bring this quote up when discussing SolKy and yes, it does show Sol cares about Ky considering how Sol never really cares about anyone in general, but the fact that Ky’s death managed to make him emotional shows what an impact Ky had on him. There are however more quotes that show Sol’s feelings.

There’s this scene in the GG Xtra manga, Ky and Sol get attacked by a mountain-sized gear. In order to save them, Sol rips off his limiter and Dragon Installs. This scene is very poignant when you take into consideration what Sol said in After Story A:

Sol:     "Back during the Crusades, before we met... Kliff told me this rumour about a prodigy swordsman." Sol:     "If you couldn't guess, that was you. I didn't give a shit at the time..." Sol:     "But then I saw you on the battlefield." Sol:     "I saw someone out there who surpassed all of my expectations. Or perhaps I should say 'something.'" Sol:     "No openings, no wasted movements, no carelessness, no hesitation, no embarrassment, not even any honor. No chivalry or mercy. A being unaffected by emotion." Sol:     "You were a killing machine. Taking down gears with brutal efficiency." Ky:      "...That was a long time ago." Sol:     "I'm not done talking. I've seen the face of the 'serious' Ky." Sol:     "Then one day, you challenged me." Sol:     "You wanna know what I thought right then?" Ky:      "..." Sol:     "I was afraid. Hell, I was scared shitless." Sol:     "'He figured out that I'm a Gear, and he's come to kill me.' That's what I thought." — Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, After Story A

Sol admits that he knows just how scary Ky can be. Since Ky was extremely against Gears, if Ky found out that Sol was a Gear, then Ky would have most likely attempted to kill him. But Sol knew this and was willing to die for Ky’s sake, and transformed anyway:

Ky:      "Sol..." Ky:      (Really... that's really..) Ky:      (That's really you!?) Ky:      "SOL!" Sol:     "Shut it..." Sol:     "I didn't do it..." Sol:     "To help you out—...." — Guilty Gear Xtra, Chapter 5: Unspeakable Thoughts

Going off on a bit of a tangent from Sol’s feelings, but I just want to point out Ky’s state of mind at this point. Ky in this time period was still very anti-Gear, as it was only through this moment and his encounters with Solaria and Dizzy later that made him change his way of thinking. It took a long time for Ky to accept Gears, and he still had the remains of that mindset in him when he had Sin, as he refused to make eye contact with him because Ky was ashamed of having a Gear child. So the fact that Ky knew Sol was a Gear, believed all Gears were evil, but still decided to accept Sol into his life and wanted to support him regardless of that, is interesting.

Back to Sol, another small quote that manages to show Sol’s feelings towards Ky is this:

Sol:     (Maybe I'll finish them off while I'm at it...) Sol:     (But that would mean breaking my promise to Ky...) — Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R, Sol Badguy Path 2

Now, Sol doesn’t care about 99% of what other people do as long as they don’t get in his way. The fact that he intends to keep his promise with Ky suggests that he holds Ky in somewhat ‘high’ regards compared to others.

There’s also this quote that shows Sol is thinking about Ky in Overture:

The frustrations of the man wielding a giant sword were piling day by day, and a familiar face appeared in his head. What’s he up to right now? “Hmph, whatever…” With a feeling of self-contempt, Sol Badguy shook his head. What am I getting sentimental for? — Guilty Gear 2: Overture, #0 “Noise”

And when Sol encounters Raven later on after seeing Ky incapacitated, Raven points out how he can tell Sol is upset, meaning Sol’s not really doing a good job of pretending he’s still indifferent to Ky.

Raven: "You're as ruthless as ever, huh, monster?" Sol:      "Look who's talking." Raven: "Can you not put down your sword and talk? I understand you're upset with Ky Kiske defeated." Sol:      "I'll ask your corpse for answers." — Guilty Gear 2: Overture, #5 "Gaze of the Chronicle"

Sol’s thoughts about Ky become even clearer during his confrontation with Sin when he’s under the influence of Valentine, where Sol defends Ky’s actions and tries to make Sin understand Ky is not 100% at fault:

Sin:     "Can you see it? Can you feel it? This is my real power. This is my mother's strength." Sol:     "But it's light. It must be from your father." Sin:     "Shut up! Don't ever mention him!" Sin:     "He abandoned my mother and me using justice as an excuse!" Sin:     "Who cares about the King!? Who cares about the people!? That man, and that Kingdom, not one of them can protect a damn thing!" Sol:     "I don't give a damn about your family." Sol:     "But you know what, Ky may be a stubborn idiot, but at least he's true to his beliefs." Sol:     "A punk like you is still alive thanks to his justice." — Guilty Gear 2: Overture, #15 "Roaring Compass"

Okay, that’s the pre-Xrd era for Sol done, now to focus on Ky’s pre-Xrd’s emotions.

Ky’s attitude towards Sol

We’ve established earlier that Ky was annoyed by Sol and disliked him in the Crusades. However, afterwards it seems as if Ky saw himself as friends with Sol:

Ofc1:   "All of them seem to have been destroyed by... fire?" Ofc2:  "Yeah... why could that be?" Ky:      "........" Ky:      "Change our course!" Ky:      "Head towards the Eastern United States!" Ofc1:   "May I ask why, Chief Ky?" Ky:      "To meet an old friend." — Guilty Gear Xtra, Chapter 4: Former Friends

We know that Ky outwardly expressed his first signs of liking Sol when Sol stole the Fuuenken and Ky chased after him, only for Sol to win in their duel, and Ky says this:

Ky:      "Promise me one thing..." Sol:     "..What?" Ky:      "We'll meet again." Sol:     "Hmph... Well, if fate brings us together..." Ky:      "..That's fine." — Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R, Sol Badguy Path 1

It’s pretty interesting that Ky wanted to see Sol again despite how Sol never used to listen to his orders, and how Sol never even tried to act like what the Order expected their men to act like (chivalrous, putting the people first, etc). It at least shows us that Ky saw possibly the potential of becoming friends with Sol. And Sol didn’t even say straight up ‘no’ or ‘in your dreams’ or whatever Badguy-esque notion he usually would’ve done, so we can assume he doesn’t mind seeing Ky again either.

Then they don’t speak to each other properly for 5 years until the tournament that Testament holds, though they have probably ran into each other a few times within those years.

A common misconception people have is that during those 5 years, Ky was obsessed with Sol and would constantly try to find him. Obviously, this is not true. Ky was busy with IPF stuff and Sol was hunting Gears down.

However, it’s not as if Ky completely forgot about Sol — he was just probably at the back of his mind, and Ky does admit that he has been chasing after Sol the most more than anyone else:

Ky:      (Waiting outside for me when I left the ship... burning red flames. Soon, they seem to take the shape of a man... and he appears before me. Yes... it's him. The one I've been after the most... it's him.) — Guilty Gear X Drama CD, Vol. 1: Track Seven — Crater

There’s also these two other quotes:

Ky:      (Sol...) Ky:      (Why are you so stubborn about doing things alone?) — Guilty Gear Xtra, Chapter 5: Unspeakable Thoughts

You can interpret this in two ways: either Ky wants to help Sol out and/or he’s curious as to why Sol always does stuff alone.

And then there’s this:

Ky:      "Maintaining peace, law, and order. That is my duty." Sol:     "Whatever..." Ky:      "You and I, we are cut from the same cloth." Ky:      "How long are you going to keep that facade?" Sol:     "..." Ky:      "Answer me Sol!" — Guilty Gear Judgment, Sol and Ky Ending

Being ‘cut from the same cloth’ is quite a strong statement. The phrase means that Ky thought he and Sol were similar somehow, and that he shared something with Sol. Regardless, the ‘how long are you going to keep that facade’ at least shows that Ky knows Sol is intentionally acting distant/rough/etc. and that its not actually who he is.

Jumping to pre-Overture, just before Ky gives Sin to Sol, Ky is in a really depressive state due to all of the stress he’s been going through. This leads Dizzy to contact Sol. The fact that Sol is called means that Dizzy knows that Sol is possibly the only person who can help Ky at that point, which puts some emphasis on just how much Sol means to Ky or at least affects him.

Before I move onto Xrd, there’s this part where Ky gives his son to Sol. This proves he trusts Sol so much considering he was asking him to take care of Sin for a long period of time.

Ky:      “Sol....I want to request something...” Sol:     “...hnn?” Ky:      “My son....Sin..can you take care of him for a while?” Sol:     “...what did you say?” Ky:      “I know it’s unreasonable but...I still want to ask...” — GG2: Overture Story, Sol's Story

The Xrd era (because it is so long, it needs its own section)

The Xrd era is extremely interesting to me, because Sol and Ky have some more in-depth conversations, and boy, do they have a lot of conversations.

Focusing on Sol first, theres a scene in REV where Sol asks Ky why he isn’t interested in his past:

Sol:     "Why don't you ask me already?" Ky:      "Ask you what?" Sol:     "About my past." Ky:      "I can ask you?" Sol:     "I guarantee, it won't be interesting." Sol:     "Every other word that came out of your mouth was 'Duel me,' or 'I challenge you!' You were so eager to fight and..." Ky:      "........" — Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Chapter 03, Sense A

Given that Ky was constantly pestering Sol about his background in the past, it makes sense why Sol is suddenly a bit confused about Ky’s sudden change in behaviour. But it also shows that Sol wants Ky to know about his past. After ~170+ years of being alive, Sol wants to finally open up to someone again, and he specifically chose Ky for this. It shows in the very least Sol trusts Ky and knows him well enough to decide to let him know about who he used to be.

And then Ky says this, which is basically him just showing Sol how much he cares and understands him:

Ky:      "Sol. Of course I have an interest in your past." Ky:      "But wanting to understand someone and trying to understand everything is completely different." Ky:      "Right now, Sol Badguy's future matters much more to me, than Frederick's past." — Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Chapter 03, Sense A

There’s also this scene in SIGN:

Ky:      "I don't know your history." Ky:      "I don't know if you had friends once, or if you fell in love, or why you burn with such hatred for That Man and the Gears..." Ky:      "I don't even know your real name." Sol:     "..." Ky:      "But I do know a great deal about a man named Sol Badguy." Ky:      "Blinded by vengeance, he lost sight of himself, and now he runs from the truth that frightens him." Sol:     "...Say that again." Ky:      "Tomorrow always comes, Sol." Sol:     "..!" Ky:      "If tomorrow promises to be cold and dark, I cannot stand idly by... even if I know my efforts will come to nothing." Sol:     "... The self-righteous apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Ky:      "I don't expect the world to change tomorrow, but I do hope that, today, perhaps my words will reach you." Ky:      "Sol..." Ky:      "I'll be waiting for you. We'll all be waiting for you. Sin, Dizzy..." Ky:      "Once all this is over... come home." — Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 04, Kaleidoscope B

Three things to take away from this:

Ky admits that he doesn’t know anything about Sol’s background, but that he knows a lot about the current Sol, and then goes on to explain how Sol acts. Which to expand on, means that although Ky used to care about Sol’s past, he doesn’t really mind about it anymore because Sol’s past won’t really change much who Sol is to Ky now. Also, the part where Ky explains how Sol was ‘blinded by vengeance,’etc. shows that Ky knows Sol’s current personality well enough in order to be able to distinguish his behaviours. Which is interesting because nobody has been around Sol long enough to be able to know him really well unlike Ky (Aria and Asuka count too, but they were around Sol when he was Frederick, and Sol seems pretty adamant on the idea that he’s a separate person from Frederick.)

‘Come home’ is pretty significant, as it implies that it’s almost like Ky is saying home is with Sin, Dizzy and the Valentines, and so when Sol is done getting revenge on That Man, instead of letting Sol just wander off alone, Ky wants Sol to be a family with them.

The fact that says Ky says ‘I’ll be waiting for you’ separate from ‘we’ll all be waiting for you’ implies that either Ky’s want to wait for Sol is somehow different from everyone else’s or it’s just for the sake of being dramatic. I interpreted this in both ways, as it seems like Ky knows that Sol treats him differently compared to others. So in a sense, by Ky emphasising that he’ll be waiting for Sol, it might make Sol more likely to ‘come home’.

There’s also a scene that shows Ky knows Sol’s personality well:

Ky:      "When I look at you, Sol, I see a man who is afraid." Sol:     "... What?" Ky:      "It became clear when I watched you caring for Sin." Ky:      "You work very hard to keep everyone at arm's length." Sol:     "..." Sol:     "I got Gear blood in my veins, and it ain't friendly. It's always there in the back of my head, whispering that I oughta just destroy all of this." Sol:     "The only way I'm gonna get some closure is tracking down That Man and beating some answers out of him." Sol:     "And if he doesn't have 'em..." Sol:     "Then maybe there really isn't a good way to live." Ky:      "That's why you close your heart off." — Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 08, Hope A

There’s also this:

Ky:      "Not all people have the strength to stand on their own." Sol:     "..." Ky:      "If only life were simple, and the right path was laid out before each of us..." Ky:      "But even then some would leave it, and some would struggle with walking it. Such is human nature..." Ky:      "The truth is that no path will ever be 'right' for all people. Each of us must find the one we are meant to walk--and sometimes that is where none exists." Ky:      "That is what I learned from you." — Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 08, Hope A

This just shows that Ky actually learnt something from Sol. Which I think is important because Ky is someone who always used to be very strict to his ideals. The fact that he learnt something from Sol that had an impact on his mindset means that Sol actually managed to have a great impact on Ky.

There’s this scene where Sol finds out that Aria isn’t dead when he confronts That Man, and he has somewhat of a mini mental breakdown. So Ky excuses them from the room, and goes outside to talk with Sol:

Ky:      "Sol. The grudge you hold is certainly not something that can be taken lightly. And, whatever answer you think you've found, I doubt any of us will be able to stop you from seeing it through..." Ky:      "But we have very little time left. Right now, we need the Gear Maker's help." Ky:      "So, I'm begging you... Just for now. Why don't you stay outside with me." — Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Chapter 06, Cause A

The last line that Ky says is interesting because it’s obvious that he’s just trying to calm Sol down, and Ky thinks that if he stays with Sol outside for a bit, he’ll be able to help him calm down. Furthermore, Ky thought it was more necessary to pause everything and help Sol out rather than keep listening to the plans of what their next course of action would be.

Ky does have the habit of comforting Sol. One of the more significant moments is whenever Sol refers to himself as a monster:

Ky:      "Yes, he took away some of what makes you human, but that doesn't mean he altered your mind or your soul." Sol:     "So what?" Ky:      "I want to believe that you'll fight for the people of this world." Sol:     "Are we seriously having this conversation?" Sol:     "Look, kid. I'm a monster. I'm here to do two things: Destroy That Man, and kill all the other Gears." — Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-, Story Mode: Chapter 04, Kaleidoscope B

To expand a little on Sol’s mindset, it’s common knowledge that Gears were generally in the past regarded as akin to monsters. Now we don’t have any solid proof Sol is referring to himself as a monster because he’s a Gear, or because he feels guilt about the whole Gear Project, etc. But we do know it’s something he’s affected by given that he constantly refers to himself as one.

So the fact that Ky constantly reassures him that he’s not one, and that Ky didn’t treat him differently after finding out he was a Gear, must be comforting to know.

Then at the end of REV, there’s the scene where Daryl is about to shoot Sol, because he (quite rightly) doesn’t trust the fate of the world to be left to Sol. And so, the kids get beamed up, but Ky asks to be left behind:

Ky:      "But, if you plan on targeting Sol, then you must leave me behind, as well." Daryl: "What!?" Zappa:"60 seconds until impact..!" Sol:     "What the hell are you doing?! Stay with Sin!" Ky:      "I am well aware that this is a one in a million chance..." Ky:      "But, if I survive at the expense of my dear friend, then there is little reason left for my ruling this world as king." — Guilty Gear Xrd -REVELATOR-, Story Mode: Final Chapter, Fireworks

This was a really odd moment because Ky’s life was never in danger at that moment. If he had been sent on board Daryl’s ship as originally planned, he would have been safe. But Ky intentionally chose to risk his life, and its kind of startling because Ky has always put his people above everything. There were times when he put the people above his own family, like when he kept his family a secret instead of coming out with the truth about them in order to remain as King to protect his people.

So Ky suddenly going ‘I would rather die with Sol than take care of my people’ is really extreme. Also Ky was willing to leave his family behind, which is even more extreme. So this just really proves how highly Ky regards Sol considering how he would rather die with him than live without him.

Some concluding notes

I think Sol and Ky’s personalities do work really well. Perhaps not in the Crusade era, but if we take a look at the Xrd era, they have shown to get along and have deep conversations with one another that they both enjoy. They know each other extremely well; they know how to support one another when life gets a bit too much and they’re also capable of telling one another when the other is wrong.

Sol teaches Ky that life isn’t as simple as it seems, and that (figuratively speaking) he shouldn’t stick exactly to the textbook. He’s able to see under that perfect image Ky puts up about him being able to cope with everything, acting as a source of stability when you consider how Sol has been the only person who’s been around Ky since the very beginning.

Throughout all of Ky’s life, he’s been under so much pressure. From being Commander in the Crusades, to becoming the Head of the International Police Force, to becoming King. In every situation, people are constantly relying on him, and his environment is changing rapidly. But despite everything, Sol has always remained the same. He looks the same, acts the same, etc. Ky can rely on Sol and trust Sol. He’s like a source of stability for Ky in those hectic times.

And Ky provides something similar to Sol too, given how often he ran into Sol time and time again. When you’ve been alive for so long, it’d feel reassuring in the very least to see a familiar face. And Sol does seem to get less annoyed each time they meet each other again, considering like how in Overture he voluntarily went to go see Ky after seeing himself on a wanted poster.

Ky also gives Sol the chance to open up to people again and form connections with them, something that Sol has been reluctant to do. Sol needs someone to care about him, and Ky proves that by constantly reassuring him and never giving up on trying to help Sol, even though he kept getting pushed away.

They may not be canon but I really do love how they work together. Yes it’s true some people may like them because they are ‘rivals’and seeing rivals get together and bicker is great, but actually I think when people focus more on how much they support and rely on each other, as well as the fact that they do get along, them being in a relationship is more convincing.

Whilst this essay focused on their canon interactions, there’s plenty of other great material out there. For instance, the Guilty Gear 4KomaKINGS manga provides plenty of great SolKy interactions (like the time Ky wanted to have a friendship diary with Sol, only to get rejected and start crying about it. Of course, take these interactions with a pinch of skepticism considering the frivolity of the source material.)

And that, was my very long SolKy essay. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading! Though you may not have agreed with everything I have said, you still continued reading, and I am grateful for that. Thank you for showing such enthusiasm and loving this franchise.

[harveybwabbit92]

Invader Zim: Elite Guardians AU Pt. 2

The following is a non-profit fan-based story, Invader ZiM  is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon please support the official release, I gain no profit nor do I own anything other than OCs and whatever spouts from my imagination!

------------------------------

A another month passed Zim started looking less like wrinkled worm and more like an Irken, Red and Purple were running low on money, Repairing the cruiser was getting more difficult, whenever they fixed something, another thing would break or scavengers would sneak in and take whatever wasn't bolted down, that's when the Elites came to the conclusion that maybe they should look for work. So they started bounty hunting for the local constabulary.

What choice did they have? if they were ever gonna get off this rock and find Cradle 2-117. Bounty hunting was the way to go, The Cruiser was a lost beyond repair, but there were a lot of ships for sale in Meeko; the problem was finding who was willing to sell a ship to them, The citizens were still cold towards them, Again. Neither Red and Purple could understand why? They soon got answer in the most unconventional way, they'd come back from a job, Some nut job thought it was good splice a giant spider with a squid and than super sizing it!

Red was shooting the thing with his Plasma gun while Purple striking it with his photon axe, meanwhile Zim was happily skipping around the battlefield, narrowly missing being crushed or shot at, Red noticed the smeet hopping around. "Zim! get out of the way!" Red dodges a tentacle swinging for him. "You're gonna get hurt!" He barked the smeet just stared at him blankly before smiling "Rwed!" he cheered waving at him, Red facepalmed. "Hi!" he waved back before going back to fighting, Zim went back to his little skipping game dodging death at every corner, only stopping when he saw a large beetle crawling around on the sand, the smeet crouched down just as Purple was thrown off the Squider and sent crashing into the wall behind Zim.

The purple eyed elite sat up with a groan; rubbing his head looked at Zim and did a double take when he saw the smeet eating a beetle, Purple jumped to his feet rushed over to the smeet trying to pry his mouth open. "Naw, no, no. Spit it out, spit out! c'mon!" he lightly slapped Zim's back and the smeet spat up bug guts Purple grimaced. "Disgusting!" he huffed giving the smeet some ration wafers and went back to helping Red fight, Zim calmly sat out of the way to eat and watch his 'Brothers' fight the monster, by the end of the battle Red and Purple were covered in ink and teal colored guts, and their wallets were a good chunk heavier, when they woke up this morning...

Later when they got back to the cruiser both Red felt something was off, there was scent in the air he didn't recognize at first he thought it was the Squider guts, but as they got closer to their wreck... it became more apparent that someone or something was in there, Purple noticed it too he and Red exchanged a look; the red clad elite set Zim down and shush him, the smeet copied him and nodded, Purple dispatched his PAK legs and went in from above while Red followed and hid in the doorway of the engine room, his first thought was it was just another scavenger looking for scrap, but by now everyone nearby knew this ship was occupied and stayed clear of it, Red peeked into the engine room and saw a hooded figure fidgeting around with the power core. 

Red's eyes narrowed as he tried to get a better look and saw this person reading off what looked like an engineering manual, he saw Purple getting into position, they could hear this person mumbling to themselves. "Okay... now shut down switch Y and detach port Q?...wait no, um..." the guards looked at each other and nodded, Purple jumped from the ceiling; landing in front of the intruder catching them completely off guard. "What the fu-" they saw the purple eyed Irken reach for a his stunned baton and panicked. "Shite!" they yelped and went to run only to get pistol whipped from behind by Red knocking them out. 

Red and Purple were perplexed when they tied them up removed the intruders hood and made sure they didn't have weapons, they've never seen an alien like them before...  they had this weird long stringy stuff on their head that was soft to the touch, but stood out out most of all was how tall they were... Both Irkens just barely came up to the intruder's chin. "Whoa! They're almost the same height as Tallest Miyuki!" Purple said stunned while Red shook his head. "No... Miyuki is definitely taller..." he insisted but then again they haven't seen Tallest Miyuki in months! So they couldn't exactly make a comparison.

While the two were prattled about Miyuki and the intruder's heights, neither noticed Zim wander in the smeet looked between the bickering Elites before noticing the stranger sitting against the wall. His pink eyes lit up as he curiously approached the unconscious alien, He saw the long fuzzy stuff on their head and immediately grabbed it and started tugging which roused the trespasser awake.

Red and Purple tenses at the unknown voice cut into their conversation they looked and saw Zim swinging off the alien's... mane? "Ow..ow! quit it! They try to jerked their head away from Zim's grasp. "Oww, Seriously kid stop it!" They growled Red snapped out of his stupor and quickly picked up Zim. "Don't talk to him like that!" He spat glaring at the intruder, who glared back their e/c eyes looked odd too, but Red was more focused on whether or not they were a threat or not.

"Who are you? What are you?" he huffed along with Purple butting in. "And why do you want our power core?" the alien winced a the purple one's shrill voice. " if I tell you will you untie me?" they asked hopeful, the Irkens were silent, and the intruder took their silence as a hard "maybe."

"My name is Y/n, I’m a human female, My ship crashed few clicks north from here, the power core was always little spotty, and it finally gave up the ghost. So I went out looking for a replacement, looked around Meeko and other crash sites, before finding a power signal that lead me to... I thought it was it was a derelict ship!"

"Does this ship derelict look to you?!"

"Well... yeah? I mean look around, your ship is in pieces! it'll obviously never fly again, I'm surprised your core was even intact!"

"How did you even get in? we have security measures!"

Y/n looked bemused before something clicked in her head, she cocked her head towards the front of the ship. "Oh! the giant hole in your hull, with the lasers and forcefield? yeah, I think your motion sensors and hard light generator is offline, I walked right through it" Purple looked like he was going to cry seeing as he was the one who rigged that forcefield up. " that and your front door was wi... was.." Your voice suddenly trailed off, Red and Purple watched your demeanor change as something caught your eye, it took a moment for Red to notice you were staring at the Irken symbol on their armor.

"Shite... You slaver scum!" both Irkens jumped back startled by your sudden outburst. "What are you planning to do with that kid?! huh? did you kidnap him too?" You growled Red and Purple looked at each other stunned. "What are you talking about?" Red asked you just glared him in disgust. "Don't play fucking coy with me! I’ve seen your damn ship going around ransacking outposts around the system and kidnapping people!" Red and Purple were at loss here, 2-117 was overtaken by Slavers? well, at least now they knew why almost everyone on Greedo was so hostile towards them!

There was a tense stare down between the trio, You watched as the two "slavers" got into a huddle, you heard the numbers "2-117..." being mumbled then Red one was saying something the Purple one disagreed with. "No, oh no no no! We're not taking in another stray!" the purple hissed vehemently. "She's the our ticket off this rock, we're doing it!" They turned to look at you.

"What?" you hissed as the Red clad alien silently handed the kid over to his Purple counterpart who glared at him, you tensed up as he walked up to you. "Calm down and just listen alright?" Red guy explained they’re not slavers, but Elite guards from Irk sent to investigate and retrieve a missing Nursery ship called Cradle 2-117 that had been skyjacked a few months ago, the only lead they have is Zim, who Red found malnourished and wandering around in a trash dump.... Now you.

You of course were bit skeptical about this whole situation, what with being tied up and all! but, then Purple told you to take a good look at Zim, the kid was same species as them: Irken. "How many other Irkens have you seen wandering the Tarn system?" You realized never, you have never seen an Irken in Tarn before, so maybe they were telling the truth? then Purple got you attention again "Where was the last place you saw that ship?" You paused thing back to were you saw the Irken ship, it wasn’t hard to forget considering how unique it looked. 

"I think it was headed to Planet Nyree? that’s a two week journey from here." Both Irken elites looked each other hopeful, finally a real lead! "However I'd suggest getting a new ship, I don’t think this one will taking off anytime soon." They hear the ship groan as a panel falls out of the ceiling, landing a little too close to you then you'd like, Red looks at Purple whose shoulders slumped, knowing what was coming, You were confused as Red reach around behind you and untied you. "Okay! New plan, we need a ship and you need a power core, let’s make a deal..." and that's how you gained three new crew members aboard the Cardinal.

[dessarious]

How to Not Get a Date Pt11

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A couple hours later the three of them were relaxing when there was a knock on the door. It wasn’t Nathalie’s sharp impatient one, or Adrien’s bodyguards heavy one. Chloe looked at Mari, but just got a shrug back. Well that was odd. When she opened the door it was to find a scowling Damian. Given that was his normal expression she had no clue if that was good or bad yet.

“Why haven’t you dealt with that insipid liar?” The words barely registered as he stormed past her and into the room.

“Hello to you too Damian, please come in.” Her dry tone got a giggle from Adrien and Marinette, bringing them to Damian’s attention. His scowl got deeper and he turned back to Chloe.

“Can we talk in private?” She motioned him to her bedroom and followed. She didn’t close the door, just because if he wanted privacy he needed to remember to keep his voice down. While the walls between regular rooms were soundproof, inside individual suites they had much less insulation. “How are you okay with your girlfriend fondling someone else in front of you?” Not the question she expected. She looked back around the door frame to figure out what he was talking about. Adrien and Mari were on the couch. Adrien had his head in her lap while she ran her fingers through his hair massaging his scalp. It took her a minute to figure out why Damian had an issue with it, but when she did she let out a huff.

“Okay, first if that’s what you consider fondling, we should have a talk. Second Adrien is extremely touch starved. His father treats him like a piece of furniture that’s usually in his way and other than people preparing him for shoots and models trying to hang off him to get closer to his father, he’s not really around anyone. Mari and I are about the only people he trusts enough to get close to him without an ulterior motive so we both give him as much physical affection as we can.” Yet another reason she wanted to maim Gabriel. She was seriously considering taking her complaints to her mother now that they were getting along better. Or she could just leak some of his treatment of Adrien to the press. Everyone loved Adrien and the few outside people who actually dealt with Gabriel on a regular basis would likely back up the story.

“I’ve only ever seen couples act that way.” She wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be an argument or an explanation. Either way she just shrugged.

“Everyone’s different Damian. Some people are used to expressing themselves through touch, like Mari. It’s how she calms people down or comforts them. Other people just don’t like being touched by anyone they aren’t extremely close to. There’s no one right way to act around friends. Given your standoffish nature I’d guess you’re basing your opinion almost entirely on how your family interacts but that’s a very small sample.” He gave a non committal hum and she figured it was the best she could hope for at the moment.  “No what did you come here to yell at me for in the first place?” That brought back his scowl.

“Well since all of you are here and apparently you’ve all been ignoring this issue I may as well address all of you.” He stalked back into the other room and she could only sigh as she followed him. That wasn’t going to go well. Mari shot her a confused look and she just rolled her eyes. “Why have none of you exposed this liar yet?”

“Well let’s see. When I tried I got expelled, Adrien managed to get me back in, but when he confronted his father about Lila and the way she acted, he threatened to lock him up except for photo shoots and has been protecting her as his model ever since.” Mari was using that overly sweet tone that sent shivers down her spine and Adrien shifted uncomfortably. She wasn’t sure if Damian didn’t catch it or chose to ignore it before turning to her.

“And you? I know neither the school nor your father scare you.” Chloe saw anger flash across her friends faces and made a calming motion even as her guilt surfaced. She’d let things go on for too long. If she’d done something at the beginning…

“Chloe it’s not your fault.” She and Mari had had this discussion so many times at this point the other girl knew exactly what was going through her head.

“Maybe not. But to answer your question Damian, if I’d been the one to expose her, it just would have helped her play the victim. I’m a well known bully and my going against her would have made people sympathize with her even more.” By the time she’d thought to go to her father, everything had spiraled. Lila had her mother wrapped around her finger and the woman had refused to switch her to a different school. Her father could have asked the embassy to find a different diplomat but he couldn’t afford to piss them off at the time and she would have made a huge fuss over being reassigned. The one time they’d try to threaten exposing her by calling all celebrities she’d lied about Gabriel himself had called the Mayor. Chloe had no idea what the man had on her father but she was told to drop it in no uncertain terms. She’d never seen him so scared.

“So you just gave up? You’re all just bowing to her will, it’s disgraceful.” She wanted to disagree with him, but no matter how many times they went through it and found no options, she always felt like she should have done more.

“It’s easy for you to judge when you have no context. There’s a lot more going on here than you’re aware of and you coming in here and insulting us because you think you know better is unnecessary, unhelpful, and unwanted.” Mari’s tone was downright hostile. Chloe really wanted them to get along but it seemed like the more time they spent together the worse things got. Adrien gave her a sympathetic look. They’d told him the truth of what happened, and after he’d stopped laughing he’d been very supportive.

“Mari’s right Wayne. You can’t just walk in and judge people for things you know nothing about. Maybe we didn’t handle things the right way, but assuming you do without all the information is rather pompous don’t you think?” Great, even Adrien was getting snarky. What a disaster.

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Ko-Fi

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@peachedpocky @ladybug-182 @moonlightstar64

[lord-squiggletits]

I found your blog like this morning? And your takes on IDW OP - phenomenal. I have always hated how the TF community as a whole has destroyed his personality and development simply because the idea of a flawed Optimus Prime goes against the perfect hero with mild emotional traumas. Let him be ugly and broken, he's a fucking messy person trying to fix a fucked situation with no fucking clue how to go about it without resorting to drastic measures. Like shit, it's okay for him to be angry and have real problems that go beyond holding everyone's hand.

Friend, the amount of takes that I’ve posted in public about IDW OP pale in comparison to the ranting I’ve done in group chats/DM’s with friends. But I’m glad to hear from someone else who likes him in a fandom that’s otherwise incredibly hostile to him.

Everything you just said...yeah, that. I’m trying to cut down on the amount of negativity I express towards other’s opinions, but the entire reason I fell in love with Optimus was because I came into with that pop culture osmosis knowledge of him-- he’s The Good Guy(TM), everyone loves him, he’s the epitome of everything that’s good and noble and right-- and then IDW gave me this dude that is actually super problematic, there are people who disagree with him and call him out on his mistakes... He’s only a Good Guy (TM) from the perspective of people who know and trust him, but everyone else? Well...

This is it. THE panel. Literally THE panel where I went “holy shit, so this Optimus isn’t just Good Guy Beloved By All? He fucked up? He sided with the wrong person?” Now I understand what Megatron meant in Chaos Theory when he said that Optimus is known as a hero and a patriot because of him, that his legacy was bought with millions of lives.... holy shit.

Now granted, by this point the only IDW stories I had read were Megatron Origins, Autocracy, and the gay megop part of Chaos Theory, but... wow, this is literally where my love started. And then reading more about IDW just made me fall more in love with this beautiful Optimus. I love him so much <33333333 The more he fucks up and fails, the more I love him.

As I said, I’m trying to not be so negative about other people’s opinions, so I don’t want to go shooting off at the mouth about bad Optimus takes... but my DM’s are always open if you feel like talking more about him!

[rsa241]

Escape ( Part 1 of Replaced )

Author : This is a replaced AU of my first MC ( Ayumi ) . Freya is Ayumi's replacement for this AU. I Hope you'll enjoy~

Summary : The demon brother love the new exchange student and slowly forgetting Ayumi as time goes by leaving her a bit left out. Ayumi didn't like the new exchange student due to her ominous presence. Ayumi then, started to hang out at Diavolo's Castle and Purgatory Hall more often. As Ayumi was about to left Devildom, she found out the new exchange student is not a normal human.

As I was waiting on the dining table waiting, I got a notification on my D.D.D. I open to see a text from Lucifer.

" Me and my brothers will be eating dinner at Diavolo's castle to welcome the new exchange student. I also came to like the human. I hope you both could get along. "

I'm glad Lucifer inform me. Now I'm a little excited to see how the new exchange is like. Is she kind? or outgoing? I hope she is someone I can trust in the future. Someone who isn't toxic like the people I met in the past.

I stand up and cooked some food for myself before I can indulge in my thoughts longer. After I ate my food, I return to my room and played some human games on my phone until the demon brothers returns from dinner at Diavolo's castle.

After a few hours of gaming on my mobile, the demon brothers return with the new exchange student. I went out of my room to welcome them home. As I was about to greet at the new exchange student, I stopped my tracks and felt a sudden surge of anxiousness. A familiar feeling whenever I meet someone who shouldn't be trusted. I didn't want to be rude so, I greet the new exchange student politely.

" Hello, I'm Ayumi. I'm also a human exchange student, like you. Just, I have stayed here longer. "

" Nice to meet you! I'm Freya. That makes you my senior then. Can I call you Ayumi-senpai? "

" No need, I prefer you call me Ayumi normally like everyone else here. "

" Alright, if that makes you comfortable, then I'll happily oblige Ayumi. "

Lucifer told me that Freya will be sharing a room with me. I hated that idea, sharing a room with someone I just met doesn't sit right with me. I disagree Lucifer's suggestion politely.

" Lucifer, I'm okay with having an exchange student here but...isn't sharing the same room is a bit too much. "

" There's no other room Ayumi. Only your room is available. "

Lucifer glared at me but I couldn't care less, my personal space is my top priority. I turn my gaze to Freya just to see her disappointed.

" It's okay Lucifer, I'll just sleep on the couch. "

" No you won't Freya, you'll be sleeping in the bedroom. Ayumi here is just in a bad mood. "

" Oh...alright! "

Excuse me? I'm in a bad mood? I just simply don't trust her. I sighed and gave up but warn Freya if she wanted to stay.

As weeks went by, the demon brothers slowly stop hanging out with me. I'm not mad, not even a bit. Just...a little sad. I'm happy that they don't hate humans much compare to how when I first came. But, I felt a bit lonely.

So...I started to hang out at purgatory hall and Diavolo's castle more. I get to bake with Simeon and Luke more. I also got to help Diavolo and Barbatos a little with their tasks. I also got involved in Solomon's chaotic mess. I also got to pay attention to my black kitten, Jinx more since the demon brothers always interrupt me.

After a long day at Purgatory Hall, I decided to go back to HOL. As I opened the door to my room, I heard a slap and that triggered my uncommon emotions...anger. Was Freya hitting my kitten?!

I ran to Freya and pushed her out of the way to see if Jinx is harmed. Thankfully, Jinx isn't hurt. He is a creature from hell after all. I picked my kitten and hold him in my arms while looking at Freya with a bloody forehead.

" Why did you push me- "

" Why did you hit my kitten? "

" I'm not! I was just- "

" Whatever it is, don't ever touch Jinx again. "

Suddenly, the demon brothers burst through the door open and went to check Freya to see if she was okay.

" What happened to ya Freya?! Why is your forehead bleeding?! "

" I just wanted to get along with Jinx but, he's very hostile towards me like always. Ayumi came back and suddenly pushed me..."

" Jinx has always been hostile, he only likes Ayumi. Even Satan couldn't be friends with Jinx lol. "

" Why did you do that darling?! Look at you now, your skin is ruined! "

" This is all your fault Ayumi. "

" No please don't be mad at Ayumi. I might have scared Jinx when I tried to approach him. Ayumi is just worried, she is caring and protective towards Jinx after all. "

" Ayumi is pretty overprotective when it comes to animals. "

" Come on, let's get you treated. "

Satan helped Freya stand up and bring her outside with the others, leaving with me and Lucifer alone in the room.

" I expected better from you, Ayumi. "

" So do I. "

" Watch what your saying when talking to me, Ayumi. Why did you hit Freya? "

" Did you expect me to sit still while letting her abusing Jinx. "

" But that doesn't mean you can hurt Freya. "

" Okay, I'm in the wrong about pushing her. But, she hit Jinx. "

" You don't have the evidence, how are you suppose to prove it? "

" With time. Only time can prove it in the future since, I physically don't have a proof. "

" Well I hope you'll be using that TIME to apologise properly for what you have done. "

" That's for me to decide, not you. "

" Don't think this conversation is over if you planned on doing something else. "

Then, he slam the door harshly leaving me with Jinx. I sighed letting my anger fizzes out of me to calm myself down. Then, I looked at Jinx who has been in my arms for the past few minutes.

" Let's ditch this place. It's better if we stay away from them hm? "

Jinx just responded with a cute meow. I pat Jinx head and went to pack my things. After I finished packing, I opened the nearby window quietly and hide.

I let my kitten transform by became bigger and reveal a beautiful angel black wings. I jumped onto Jinx's back and let him fly to Purgatory Hall.

To be continue~

[krisrix]

Hi fam~ I haven’t been around much in the past little while, but I wanted to take a moment to address something happening in the fandom the past few days... 

As a caveat: I know I’m only active within one subsection of the fandom, so please understand that I am not trying to speak for everyone. On the Discord server I’m a part of, we’ve been having a very deep, nuanced discussion about this for the past two days now. I’m popping in to offer a summary of that discussion. Again, this is only one subsection of the fandom, but I hope that the takeaways of our discussion are something that others can find some comfort in as well.

The bullet points I believe we ultimately agreed on:

Smut with minors is not okay, it doesn't matter who it is written by

"Snowbaz smut" and "smut with minors" is a Venn diagram, not a perfect circle—the concern is with the overlap, not snowbaz smut in general

Anyone over the age of consent can write mlm smut with characters who are also over the age of consent—there is no upper limit on the age where this rule applies (aka no ageism in fandom)

You do not have to out yourself or "be X enough" to engage or create for this fandom and have a home here 

Cishet women are welcomed (for more reasons than can even be accounted for) so long as they are respectful and not fetishizing

Fetishization can occur by anyone, both inside and outside of the group in question

It doesn’t matter who the creator is—queer, questioning, or otherwise—so long as they have a certain level of self-awareness and empathy, they therefore are not fetishizing

If you are worried "am I fetishizing?", then the answer is probably "no", but self-reflection as a healthy routine is always good

Listen to others when they say you’ve done something to make them uncomfortable and try to reevaluate yourself accordingly—you do not have to bow to anyone else’s whims, but you do have to recognize the validity of what they’ve expressed, even if you didn’t intend harm

“Being heard” and “being agreed with” are not the same thing

Blanket statements that gatekeep people always do more harm than good—sequestering groups is historically proven time and again to be the worst thing we can do to each other and is antithetical to developing empathy

We all need to be mindful of the language we use, especially in nuanced discussions

We need to utilize tags appropriately as best we can—this includes adults adding NSFW/Explicit/etc. tags when relevant and the blacklisting of said tags by minors

I could go on for a very long time about so many intricate portions of this discussion, but unfortunately, I don’t have the strength for that at this point. I will leave you with this tangled mish-mosh of thoughts:

If you’re feeling frustrated and like you’re repeating yourself or talking to a brick wall, try to engage in good-faith questions and answers instead. I’ve found that this opens up new opportunities for communication and helps highlight misunderstandings. There was a lot of strong language and negative feelings being tossed around in the server, but after we discussed it for long enough and delved deeper, we realized we were all in agreement! There had just been a number of knee-jerk responses and misconstrued words, which led to an unravelling argument.

I also request that we be more mindful of tossing around the word "p*dophile", etc. That is an extremely loaded word, both for its true meaning and for its historical meaning. Queer folks have been lumped in as and labelled as such for so much of our history, and it is a term very much in fashion at the moment with the alt-right, as well.

Speaking of which, the strong reaction we all had to this discussion is because we are all dealing with our own personal baggage, and much of that baggage has to do with the complex political world we are constantly entrenched in. So it’s understandable that when faced with negativity, our first reaction is to go full fight-or-flight. Being defensive is not necessarily a sign that someone is guilty of something. We have to fight so hard, every day! But this shouldn’t need to be a fight, especially not amongst ourselves.

When they attack us, they do so from a place of negativity and fear. Their whole outlook is “you’re not allowed to do that” and “this is only for me”. That is not what we are about. When they attack us, it is because they lack empathy for our situation. Please note that sympathy and empathy are not the same. You can empathize with those you disagree with. Ultimately, that is what allows us to learn and grow and constantly improve.

We are imitating them when we don’t give other people empathy. We are imitating them when we yell and attack, rather than striving to understand and communicate. It is terrifyingly easy to take the hostility and language of the abuser and then apply it to yourself and/or those around you. Please take care not to mimic that which has hurt you.

We cannot be perfect. We cannot always have the onus on us to be the understanding one, the one willing to be patient and kind, the one willing to educate. The mental labour of that is overwhelming. I merely ask you to take time now and then to check in with yourself and your place within a situation to make sure you’re not adding more negativity into a system, especially one that is already struggling. Yelling at someone and making sweeping statements is rarely a good form of communication.

We’re here because we opened our hearts to these characters. We need to continue to keep our hearts open to each other.

We’re all in this together. 

We are all stardust.

[anotheronechicagobog]

Call Me By Her Name - Chapter 1 - Leslie!

Relationships: Connor Rhodes x Ava Bekker, Ava Bekker x Leslie Shay, Connor Rhodes x Sarah Reese

Written by: @anotheronechicagobog

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, homophobia, swearing

Connor and Ava were at his apartment, having gone to drinks at a restaurant a block away under the guise of talking about a case they had together, and now they were entwined on his California king bed. They were having sex, hot, angry, steamy sex. And when they were almost at the climax, at the end, at the part where you call out your lover’s name.

“Ava...” Connor was close but she was closer.

“Leslie!”

Connor froze. 

What?

He hadn’t finished, but she had and was revelling in the pleasure while he was above her, his brain processing what just happened. He rolled off of her and lay next to her in complete silence. His girlfriend called out someone else’s name while they were having sex. And he recognized who the name belonged to, PIC Leslie Shay, though he wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse. “Connor? Are you alright?”

“... You called out for ‘Leslie’ when you came.”

“Oh.”

“This is probably something we should talk about.”

“I disagree.”

“Of course you do, look, we’re dating Ava. We just had sex and you called out for someone who isn’t me, your boyfriend. This is the kind of thing we need to talk about.” Ava stole the comforter from the bed, wrapping it around herself, before leaving the bedroom. “I disagree.” Connor angrily plopped his head back on his pillow with a huff, he was too tired to deal with this shit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“... And I just don’t get why she won’t talk about it! This is a pretty important thing to ignore, I mean was it a slip of the tongue or does she actually want to be with Shay? And if she does want to be with Shay, why is she stringing me along?”

“You seriously don’t know why she’s ignoring this? And that she’s the only one stringing along your relationship? You’re an idiot, Connor.” He wasn’t sure when he and Natalie became friends but he knows why; Will Halstead. After Will had kissed her in the ‘don’t you know?’ incident, Nat had run into Connor as they were both leaving, and she really needed to talk about it to someone who wouldn’t push her towards him, because as much as she loves her friends that was exactly what they would do. And so they’d gone to Natalie’s and spent the night ranting about Will. Of course, Natalie was now dating him and Connor considered him a friend, but they remained friends and met when they could to be each other’s soundboard. Flabbergasted Connor put down his fork. “And how am I being an idiot for being frustrated that my girlfriend won’t communicate.”

“Connor, what country is she from?”

“South Africa.”

“What is South Africa’s stance on homosexuality?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, it’s not illegal there, right? And same-sex marriage and adoption is also legal...”

“But there is still a lot of discrimination and violence towards the LGBTQ+ community there, and some of the neighbouring countries aren’t as tolerant. And maybe her family isn’t open-minded, she could be dealing with internalized homophobia.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yup.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He thought about Ava’s connection to Shay throughout shift and he felt more foolish as time went on. There were longing glances from both sides, excessive toughing, and heavy flirting. The only thing that kept them apart was Ava jumping back ten feet at the last second.

When Connor got home the first thing he did was go on google. He wanted to help her. He’d done a lot of thinking about their relationship and he realized it was flawed. It was never going to work out. But... If he could help Ava overcome her internalized homophobia, maybe she could be with the woman of her dreams; Leslie Shay. After a couple of hours, he’d come up with some good information, great sources, and three pages of notes, but ultimately he recognized that he couldn’t force her to accept anything and that ultimately she’d be the one going doing the self-realization. The most he could do was support her as much as possible, if she even accepted his support.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Their next off day Ava showed up at ten in the morning wearing a low-cut blouse and a mischievous smile. “Connor, are you busy today?”

“No, but I guess that’s a good thing because we need to talk.”

“This again? Really? Connor, it was nothing-”

“No Ava, it wasn’t nothing. We were having sex, and you called me by her name.”

“‘Her’ who?”

“Leslie Shay. The woman you really want to be with, not me.”

“It was just a slip of the tongue.”

“No, it wasn’t, and don’t try to pretend it was. Look, date her or don’t you’re your own person, I can’t make your choices for you. But, I can make choices for myself. It’s over, Ava, we’re done. Neither of us deserves to put any more effort into something that’s just circling the drain.”

“Don’t you love me, Connor? I love you.”

“I don’t believe you. I can’t believe you actually. I see the way you look at her, listen to you when you talk about her, see the way you gravitate towards her when she’s around, and I feel like a moron for not seeing it sooner. There’s nothing wrong with loving another woman Ava, and she clearly loves you back. Don’t you want to be happy? We both deserve better than this, don’t we?”

“Oh, this is just rich coming from you. So what if I said someone else’s name? So have you!”

“What are you talking about? I’ve never said anyone else’s name while we were having sex!”

“But you did when you were sleeping!”

“What?”

“Yes, that little psych resident you have a crush on, you mumble her name in your sleep sometimes. I’m not the only one responsible for this catastrophe, so don’t put that blame on me. I didn’t even mean to say her name, okay? I’m not gay, I can’t be gay.”

She left Connor gaping at her from his doorway as she skulked down the hall towards the elevators

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EIGHT MONTHS LATER 

Ava was still not talking to him, and when she was her tongue was a razor-blade. It came to the point that they were put on opposite schedules, unless absolutely necessary because the work environment had become so hostile. Dr. Latham had personally given him a long, tortuous lecture about why dating your colleagues was a horrible idea and now the entire cardiology department was paying the price. He wasn’t wrong, and Connor was ashamed, but he really wasn’t sure he could have handled it better than he did. He’d never been very eloquent when talking about his feelings, but he’d tried to be as articulate as possible when he broke it off, for both of their sakes. Today had been especially hard, not only had this been one of the few shifts he and Ava been required to work together, but their patient died, and their patient was revealed to be in a same-sex relationship with the woman the patient’s conservative family thought was just her roommate. The day was long and hard and sad, and just hit way too close to home. He and Ava made eye contact from opposite sides of the hospital entrance, and his soul ached a little more at the vacant look in her eyes. But they weren’t dating anymore, they weren’t even friends anymore, so there really wasn’t anything he could do except turn away and go home. So that’s what he did.

He was halfway through The Mummy, O’Connel and Evelyn were fighting about whether or not they should be saving the world when there was a knock on his door. He paused the movie but debated not getting up. It was probably just one of his neighbour’s mistresses looking for somewhere to hide (again), because his wife had come home early (again), because she suspected her husband was cheating on her while she was at work (again). But the knocking started up again, so he sighed and got up. The person on the other side of the door was the last person he expected to see.

“Ava. What are you-”

“You were right. About Leslie, you were right.” Her eyes were red and sniffled slightly as she talked, she was shaking and she just looked so scared. “I don’t know what to do.”

“C’mere. I don’t know what to do either, Ava, but we’ll figure it out. I’ll do whatever I can to help you. I’m here for you.” And just like that, the waterworks started for both of them. They must’ve looked like a right mess, clinging to each other in the doorway and bawling like it was the end of the world. Which it was somewhat, their current world was ending, and a new one was beginning.

[martvota]

Reading “The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes” by Suzanne Collins [1]

✴ The switch of perspectives, an utterly rotten setting, the return of various symbols, something about proper character crafting and should we even like Coriolanus Snow? ✴

The first thing I’ve noticed was that people worried Collins might try and give Snow a redemption arc or use the new book as an excuse for his latter actions but I wouldn’t fret – doing so would only invalidate the universe she has built, would make one of the most important characters inconsistent. No proper writer wants that.

If anything, the way I see it, the book is intended to give us more insight on the beginnings of the system and state we (along with Katniss and Peeta, and all the rest) already know. Which is somewhat fascinating, as all well-crafted universes are.

We are given some more information on the civil war/First Rebellion that has spawned the Treaty of Treason but it (mostly?) doesn’t come in form of a history class; it flows quite freely with the main character’s thoughts and other characters’ conversations. There is no excessive detail or raw facts. Instead, we are presented with broken memories and broken homes, traumas, political and economical outcomes – and none of it is impersonal. Susanne Collins has successfully portrayed a society that has just experienced war. The streets that remain ruined years after “peace” has been achieved, the fierce… nationalism, I’d say? Though Panem is technically one state. What I meant was the approach of Coriolanus’ grandmother, almost teary-eyed over Capitol’s completely false glory, extremely hostile while speaking about the Districts. The “us versus them” mentality, the extremely protective kind of patriotism (post-war patriotism, I’d say). The state is trying to lift itself up, the old money families are attempting to regain their riches, and they are choosing the most cruel tactics to achieve that. 

We got to know the situation in the Districts thanks to the previously published books – but this time we are taking a look at the Capitol at its least glorious (and if the Capitol hungers, then it’s easy to say the rest of the country is dying of starvation).

That being said, I think it is crucial to remember whose perspective we are adopting for the sake of the novel. In this case, it is young Snow’s so – a ruined upper class family’s heir, raised to believe that he deserves what is the best solely due to his surname. Yes, he is to become the cold-blooded tyrant and killer of millions. No past excuses those crimes, ever.

But we have to keep in mind his upbringing, his origin – he has never been taught to empathise, only pity or detest; he has never been taught to respect people from the Districts unless that brings him gain (and even then, such respect should be faked – think of his beginnings with Lucy Gray).

So of course he was not crafted for us to enjoy. In fact, painting him as an obviously likeable, misunderstood boy would make for a redemption arc or an excuse, wouldn’t it? Instead, we are given a young representative of an extremely corrupt system, by no means its victim but rather product. He might not be a straight-out villain just yet but this book is our chance to observe him grow into one, all the while remaining not entirely bad nor good – he is remarkable at many things and it shines through the pages; he is remarkable at playing the protagonist. He is not one, he was never supposed to be one, and a great feature of this book is that the narrative tricks the readers into forgetting that fact.

If we are looking for a just and compassionate lead, this novel is not the right place for our search. Few of the characters are outrightly bad, as in, even the ones we’d expect to have no remorse whatsoever show some of it every now and then (and I am mostly talking about the Capitol’s citizens). Which is good – I’d say it prompts the reader to question, why would they do that? ( ← I might touch upon that in another post or add examples in reblogs. )

The only actually good characters I am seeing so far are Sejanus and Lucy Gray, but I believe that might have been the author’s intention.

Speaking of which, I have seen someone accuse Collins of (perhaps unknowingly) attempting to lessen the value of a compassionate and vulnerable stance (such as the one displayed by Sejanus) in the eyes of the reader, due to the way the lead character views it as. I disagree – the reader should not agree with any of the ideology Coriolanus follows from the very beginning of the book. Him being the main character doesn’t mean that the author agrees with his views. And if the reader falls for that narrative for a moment, then that is completely okay – the way I see it, it mainly shows that the character has been written properly (he does with the real life audience the same thing he does with the fictional people around him, tricking them into looking at things from his perspective).

Besides, there is plenty of wake-up calls (though once you get lured in by the narrative they may become less striking), such as the bizarre scene where teenagers are brainstorming how to make a mass execution more interesting. Under a teacher’s guidance, in class, just freely exchanging ideas that will later take a toll on the lives of thousands. That’s terrifying.

Or the entire concept of the monkey cage, the message it conveys; they are locked up in a rundown zoo, out in the open for other human beings to view and mock – as if they themselves weren’t human, as if they were humanoid. Similar, but not developed enough, not bright enough, clever but not intelligent and never equal. And then the privileged masses that put them there dare to act afraid.

That’s disgusting. That’s cruel and absolutely outrageous, and I love how Suzanne Collins has not given up on her expert usage of symbols (another example: the names, but I could go on and on about that), even if I do think some of those metaphors could have been disguised better and not just served on a platter.

( I’m aware this review might come off as void of criticism but it was completely unplanned— my first impression, if you will. )

I though I would wait with voicing my opinion until I finish the book but now I’d rather update this post as I go, as not to forget anything.

I found out about this prequel by pure chance, just because I had been meaning to give the HG trilogy another read after a long break (so chances are I wasn’t and won’t be able to pinpoint all the allusions to the saga).

[another-aspiring-writer]

A Little Kidnapping and Forced Dinner Date Never Hurt Anyone

Here’s my first piece. There’s not really any whump in it, it’s just here to introduce the characters and set things up.

Tag list: @ashintheairlikesnow

I don’t think i need to add any warnings for this. Please let me know though!

Enara sat with her back pressed against the rigid wood of her chair. She glared at the boy seated across from her. Theo stared at the table between them, making a point to not look at her.

That was fine. Enara didn’t really want to look at his annoyingly blue eyes right then. She glanced around the room, looking for anything she could use to get out. They seemed to be in a private room of a restaurant. At least, that was the only reason she could think of as to why they were stuck in chairs across a table from one another, their wrists and ankles cuffed to their chairs. She’d been awake for ten minutes, and she already hated that stupid table with it’s stupid white tablecloth and candles and a single rose in a vase at the center.

Enara knew it was Theo’s fault they were there. She had no evidence, but she knew. It was just like him to do something stupid that got them both caught. When they got out, Enara was going straight to Eli and telling him she would never go on a mission with Theo ever again.

First, she just had to figure out how they’d ended up here to begin with. She remembered driving into town for groceries and then stopping at McDonalds. It got a little fuzzy after that, but Enara thought she remembered someone grabbing her from behind. If only she’d had her knife on her, but of course this was the one time she left it under her seat in the truck. Things wasn’t supposed to get confrontational. Not yet. No one was supposed to know her team was in the area. If they did, it would defeat the purpose of the term ‘under cover.’

“Are you finished looking at me like I’m the devil incarnate?” Theo looked up at her, and how were eyes that blue even possible?

“No.”

“Is there a reason for this glare of yours? Or have you just decided to try out a new resting face. Because I don’t think that’s a very good look on you. Maybe smile more. You can think of all the ways you’re going to kill me if you want.”

“Shut up!” she snapped, desperately trying to cover the smile forming on her lips. She was supposed to be mad at him! “If it hadn’t been for you, we would have finished our supply run without getting caught!”

“Oh, so I’m the one who got us caught? Because I clearly remember that you were the one who insisted we stop to get you french fries.”

“I did not! That was you who wanted them!”

“I did want them, but only because you wouldn’t shut up about how good McDonald’s fries are,” he frowned, “They’re not, by the way.”

“And they’re at it again,” a tired voice said. Enara twisted as much as she could in her chair to see the speaker.

“Eli!” She shouted upon seeing his familiar face. “Thank god you found me! Can you come uncuff me? My wrists hurt.”

Zoe stepped into the doorway behind Eli. She brushed a strand of her hair out of her face with a sigh, “Can we knock them out again? They were so quiet when they were unconscious.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Theo pulled against the cuffs around his wrists. “You’re—? Knock us out again? What the fucking hell?”

Zoe leaned against the doorframe with a smirk. “You heard me right. You two were being so annoying with this little dance you’re doing. So, Eli and I decided to speed up the process. You’re welcome.”

“We’re not . . . what are you . . .” Enara couldn’t seem to form words as fire spread across her cheeks. She was probably scarlet, she thought bitterly. “There’s no dance going on between us,” She finally said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I couldn’t care less if I never saw him again.”

“What she said,” Theo added, his face the same shade of red as hers.

“Well, Eli and I disagree. The tension between you two is palpable.”

Eli smiled, “I’ll get dinner then.”

“Where the fuck does he think he’s going?” Enara shouted as he left the room. When she got her wrists out of those cuffs, she was going to murder all three of her teammates.

Zoe crossed to the table with a laugh. She pulled a lighter from her pocket, flicked it, and a flame appeared at the top. “He just said he’s getting dinner,” Zoe reached for the candles, lighting one, then the other. After they were lit, apparently to ‘set the mood,’ she put the lighter back into her pocket.

Maybe if she knocked the candles over, Enara thought, she could start a fire and make their death look like an accident. That could work. She glanced at Theo, trying to read his face. He looked like he was contemplating their deaths also. Maybe she would let him live, if he helped her kill the other two.

Eli swept back into the room, a tray stacked with food balanced in his hands. It smelled amazing, and when it was set before her, Enara considered letting them live.

It looked so delicious — pasta and chicken in a pesto sauce with two breadsticks on the side of the plate. Maybe she would let them live. She was probably just hungry, and things would be better once she had eaten. And gotten out of those cuffs.

“We’ll be back to let you out in about,” Eli glanced at his watch, “Oh, let’s make it three hours. That should give you plenty of time to sort everything out.”

He turned from the room, Zoe on his heels.

“Wait,” Enara cried, “Aren’t you going to uncuff us?”

“Oh, right!” Zoe turned back to them, quickly uncuffing Enara’s left hand and Theo’s right hand. “It’s probably going to be awkward eating with your nondominant hand, but this way you’ll hopefully have a harder time using your silverware as weapons against us.” Zoe left the room, barely paused at the door, “Enjoy your evening, lovebirds!”

Never mind, Enara thought, they were going to die.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring at their plates. Enara had to do a weird shuffle forward to get her chair to move so she could reach the table, where she promptly picked up her fork.

The food was amazing, and she almost laughed at the situation she was in. She was tied up by her teammates in who-knows-where because she needed to ‘confess her feelings for Theo’ (which was not happening), but hey, at least the food was good.

“This was not how I imagined I would be spending my Friday night,” Theo said, finally breaking the silence.

Enara laughed, “No, I suppose it’s not how anyone would imagine their Friday night going.”

Theo poked at his noodles with his fork, pushing one around his plate. He glanced up at her, opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth. What could he say to her?

“I’m sorry—” they both started at the same time.

“You go first,” Enara offered.

“You sure?” He waited for her to nod before starting. “I, um, well. I guess I don’t know what I want to say. You’re just so . . . infuriating. And I hate how annoying you can be, which is why I try to annoy you. And it’s so easy to get under your skin. And then you make this face hat I just—there, you’re making it now when I’m not even trying to do anything.”

“Why do you always have to be right about everything?” Enara asked. She could feel her face heating again. How could he do that to her without doing anything? “I can’t stand how you’re always proving how right you are about every single little thing. People can be wrong once in a while, but you never are, and it’s just so infuriating.”

“I do that because I’m trying to impress you. You’re so creative and talented and smart. You’re good a tactics and fighting and all the undercover work you do. And I always manage to mess up something and Eli or Zoe have to come in and save me. Sometimes I just want to show you I can do things. That I’m not completely useless.”

“Oh.” Enara hadn’t thought about that. She’d never considered the possibility he was trying to impress her. How could she be somebody anyone wanted to impress?

They both stared down at their plates, the silence stretched on and on. Enara chewed on her lip. Was she really about to tell him this?

“I think I’ve been trying to impress you too.” She whispered.

“What?”

She looked up at him, brown eyes meeting blue ones. For once, the hostility one of them always seemed to have in their gaze was not there. “I— I think I’ve been trying to impress you. You never seem affected by anything and I have never once seen you mess up on a job. I do all the time. I have more mess ups than fingers to count them.”

Theo laughed, “So we both know we mess up all the time and neither of us notices when the other one does. Good to know.”

“I will definitely be keeping a closer eye on you now,” Enara smiled. For once, it looked like a genuine smile to Theo, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“So, can we agree to try to be more open to one another from now on?”

She shrugged, “Sure. And since we’re being open, I’m going to tell you that as soon as we get out of these cuffs, I will be murdering Eli and Zoe.”

“Don’t you worry, I will be helping with the murdering and disposal of all evidence.”

“Glad to know we’re on the same page.”

He nodded. “Agreed. And McDonald’s fries are actually pretty good,” he added, remembering their argument from earlier. How could that have that happened so recently? It felt like hours away. “I just wanted to annoy you earlier.”

“No they’re not. And you know it. There are so many better places to get fries.”

“Truce?” He asked.

“Fine, truce. But this does not mean that I’ve confessed my feelings for you,” she smirked, “I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

“Oh, definitely. No one can know Enara secretly has emotions. That would ruin everything.”

“Shut up,” she laughed.

“Okay, fine. But we still need to plan our payback.”

They leaned closer over the table as their plan took shape. They never expected their night to go this way, but neither were complaining now.

In the corner of the room, a security camera secretly feed their conversation to the room down the hall. Zoe leaned against a table, twirling a knife between her fingers as Eli leaned over the laptop on the table.

“Told ya they just needed a little alone time together,” Zoe said. She nudged Eli’s leg with her foot, “Look at them, thick as thieves and its only been forty five minutes.”

“Yeah, but now we have to deal with them working together to get back at us.”

Zoe waved her hand, “It’s fine, nothing we can’t handle. If we couldn’t get these two to work things out, then I don’t think we’d deserve to call ourselves spies.”

Eli looked up at her, annoyance written all over his face. He couldn’t argue with her, but he still didn’t like what Enara and Theo were planning. “When this backfires, it’s all your fault.”

“Whatever you say, boss. But for the next two hours and ten minutes we have nothing to worry about. Relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

Far across town, a woman laughed. She watched as the hazy image on her laptop flickered between the young couple cuffed at the table and the pair in the room down the hall. All four of them were sitting there under the assumption they had everything under control.

In reality, she was the one pulling the strings. And they didn’t know it yet, but she had them all right where she wanted them.

[kierancampire]

I literally just got victim blamed.

I'm trying to open up about certain things in my life, as i am finding talking about them helps me let go. So i opened up on a forum about the guy who stalked/harrassed me for over a year (if you don't know, long story short. Spoke with a guy for a few hours, he became hostile and aggressive, said i didn't want to talk any more, blocked him, for a few months after he kept making different accounts on tons of different apps/sites to talk to me, he then found me elsewhere online having only my first name, contacted friends to try and talk to me, then tried messaging me again a year later. Throughout this i repeatedly told him to leave me alone and that i didn't want to talk.), nearly everyone was sympathetic and shared their experiences. Two people however blamed me for it.

One said i shouldn't have shared my name/photo.... On a dating app. The other, and this is the one that's pissed me off, as far as i can tell he has a normal account and comments normal stuff, so i don't think he was trolling me (though i did call him a troll), he was legitimately blaming me.

He said i should have explained to the guy more why i didn't want to talk to him instead of just saying i didn't want to talk, and that i should have discussed it with him and let the guy say how he felt before blocking him. He then said that my blocking him made it understandable why he did that, so it was understandable why he stalked and harrassed me, as it's apparently logical and okay to act like that after being blocked by someone cause you harrassed them. But then he was acting like i was being unreasonable for being upset that he was blaming me for being stalked/harrassed, and saying i shoulda been kinder to the guy stalking and harrassing me, and that i can't cope with someone disagreeing with me. Like a difference of opinion and victim blaming are the same thing??????