#Look Im not advocating for violence

[nikkisticki]

Oh right hey everyone who can read this, hey listen to me very carefully

No really listen to me

I've been watching the political right in North America for about 7 years now and I can tell you three things:

1. The American government is collapsing on both ends, but the right is crumbling way faster as the party is going from corrupt bastards to corrupt bastard fools. Additionally, the far right is getting more concentrated, more toxic and much more liable to commit violent crimes.

2. Things are very likely going to get bad to one extent or another, so you need a Bug-Out Bag, Even if it's just a backpack with some long lasting food, water and basic supplies, being able to leave suddenly might be useful. In particular, think about your local area and what would immediately want to be doing in that situation, whether that's fleeing or fighting.

3. Vote for the Dems and specifically vote for Biden. Biden is a infirm stupid old man who is so out of touch he thinks kids still say "Verily debaucherous", but the opposite end is ramping up towards more hostile actions. It may not stop the violence, but if the Dems win at least there's more resistance to anything happening.

Personally, I don't think they win in any situation; even if Trump becomes the Lord Emperor of Murica, it won't last long before collapsing under the crippling stupidity of those involved. Even then, the party itself is not going to be able to remain like this for much longer, but it's death throes may end up killing a lot of people.

If I'm wrong in a few years, I want you to come to my blog and call me every slur under the sun, but I'd rather you're at least vaguely prepared if something does happen.

Today's court ruling weakening discrimination protections for LGBTQ people stands out as extraordinarily strange to me for the simple fact that there was no case. The web designer in question never received a request to create a website for a gay wedding, but instead argued that a hypothetical situation in which she did would violate her rights. I've never really heard of anything like this before— how does she even have standing to sue? Can @radiofreederry or someone with more knowledge of legalese than me elaborate on this?

Melissa Gira Grant, "The Christian Right Is Making Up Wedding Websites to Attack LGBTQ People," The New Republic, 28 June 2023:

In this latest case, there is no website and no wedding—just an argument from an anti-LGBTQ group in search of the court’s favor... No person has hired Smith to create a wedding website. In fact, Smith has never designed a wedding website, according to her petition to the court. As such, there is no client Smith has told she is rejecting due to her stated religious beliefs that marriage is only allowed between one man and one woman. In the absence of all that, ADF has, instead, fashioned Smith as the victim of an injury that has never occurred.   So who has hypothetically victimized Smith? A Colorado anti-discrimination law, which, since 2008, has included protections from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. ADF claims Smith’s desire “to bring glory to God by creating unique expression that shares her religious beliefs of creating wedding websites” is thwarted by this law “because she only wants to make websites that comport with her values that same-sex marriage is illegitimate.” Were Smith to get into the wedding website business, the anti-discrimination law “would force me to say things about marriage I disagree with,” Smith wrote in an opinion piece for The Washington Times, when her case was argued at the Supreme Court last December...

Can the court rule on thought experiments?

[roach-works]

ok im waffling on about fallout instead of having breakfast but i saw a criticism of how the prisoners were treated that's stuck with me.

spoilers!

so i think the criticism wasn't incorrect, per se: it condemned the way the show portrayed the vault dweller's naive intention to rehabilitate their murderous captives. it found fault with a common, and horrible, message that tv shows like to say, which is that carcerial violence and even the death penalty is the only effective way to deal with criminals, who are a fundamentally Bad category of human. im sick of that message too! but i think that wasn't what was going on here, actually.

so like, the vault dwellers had only ever experienced violent loss the once, and didn't really know how to cope other than denial and repression of the ordeal. but they were all hopeful and enthusiastic that their prisoners, the invaders that came to kill them all and take their stuff, could be eventually welcomed into the community as their comrades. the champions of this cause were nebbishy dorks and painfully out of touch academics. this is pretty normal for how prison reformers are portrayed, if extremely fucking annoying for those of us who ARE in favor of prison reform.

but so of course when the son of the former overseer, Norm, speaks up and suggests killing the prisoners, because why should they share resources with invaders who explicitly wanted to keep hurting them? why should they show mercy to their attackers? everyone is appalled by this suggestion. because they had to reinvent the whole concept of vengeance right then and there, because grudges and cycles of violence are anathema to a bottle society like theirs. they have been raised all their lives to forgive and forget and now, put to the test, they're recommitting to this ethos: get along, let the past go, look towards the future, believe the best of everyone.

but the prisoners die, anyway. the prisoners are killed with rat poison. and the thing is that Norm who suggested it didn't do it himself. and the prison guard who's blamed for it, even though she privately agreed with Norm that the prisoners are dangerous and unforgiveable, she didn't do it either. it's not a moment of triumphant, cathartic vengeance and it doesn't prove that there's no way to negotiate with terrorists and invaders but kill them like vermin because that's not what the message is meant to be.

the message is that norm stands there in the middle of these inconvenient prisoners, these corpses dressed in his own people's uniforms, and he looks at the new overseer. and he knows that she killed them, and she knows that he knows. she wanted him to know. this is her message and he's reading her loud and clear. and he doesn't look like a guy who's just been backed up by authority, who's just been validated in his desire for the ultimate control over those who have wronged him.

he's scared and pale and the music is ominous as fuck. and he's inside the cell, he's directly in the middle of it.

because what just happened is that he realized his entire society is being held prisoner, and the overseer is the one with the rat poison. and that he doesn't know, anymore, what freedom and safety and justice actually mean, just that he doesn't have them and he doesn't know where to find them.

that's what that scene meant. not that rehabilitative justice is a pathetic delusion of people who have no idea how to make hard choices.

but that before you advocate for killing prisoners, you might want to see how big that prison is, first.

and which side of the bars you're standing on.

[aimfor-theheart]

Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?

Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.

hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.

that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.

cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general

firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.

secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.

now, to your questions.

to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.

i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.

regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.

i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.

art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.

this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.

(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)

but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.

people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.

now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.

i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.

if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.

for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.

to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?

it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.

as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.

and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.

just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.

and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.

you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.

and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.

i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.

genuinely wishing you well.

[brella-boi]

I watched Strange World yesterday and Ill be another person to advocate everyone to go look at it after hearing that its apparently not advertised in some countries. Personally Ive seen quite a bit of ads for it on social media and the cinema before other movies start in Ireland but hey seems like Disney is really trynna bury it

And for good reason too, it is gay. Yes. There is a lesbian. Yes. Theres black characters and mixed characters. There's gayness very much in your face in the first 15 minutes and is a point through the rest of story and a big theme in it is self discovery and also daddy issues.

Anyway Im gonna tell you to watch the movie because its gay. No theres a lot of stuff like that you can watch that has a lot more gayness in it.

No you gotta watch this movie because it is an INCREDIBLE take on 'hollow earth' and the worldbuilding is absolutely beautiful.

The build up for the final reveal starts off since the first 5 minutes of the movie and continues to pepper in hints for you to slowly figure it out whats going on. It's an alien world full of colour and mystery and I WISH these people were researches not adventurers because I WANNA learn more about it!!!! Every creature in the movie has some sort of purpose and if you know highschool grade biology then you will pick up on the hints quite quickly and have your brain blown out

The story tackles parental trauma and discovering yourself when you grow up. It has views very specifically built around 'peace not violence' which is something i highly encourage in family friendly movies like such, but its also not afraid to tackle harder hitting moments like death and mutual aid for those in need.

If you can I recommend watching it whenever you can! It has so much charm and love put into the designs, the animation, the movement and the jokes. Very hard not to enjoy this little alien adventure

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

I like the idea of wholesome military Yuu. Probably accidentally makes people assume they're mean or scary but it's just a gym bro. During overblots they took everyone down so easily because of past trainings. Very cool scars they boast about but everyone looks at them horrified.

"Oh this from the time I got grazed with a bullet, very cool huh?"

"What.."

-also is it cool if I name myself 🍰 anon? I feel like I lurk around your ask inbox a lot, it's totally fine if I can't!

Please read all the dialouge in a fucking duke nukem voice.

This giant person approached Idia after they heard Idia mumbles self depreciating things abt himself himself under this breath. Idia is frozen and he hears boss music. "Hey man, stop putting yourself down, it's not cool. I know you can't see it but your character and strengths are pretty cool. I hope you can lean to see it in time." And refuses to walk off until Idia says something nice about himself, in which then Yuu daps him up and says "nice one dude"

"Hey man what are you? A dude, a girl a they?" "I don't have pronouns or gender. Those damn alien bastards stole them from me."

Ruggie being baffled at this mfer who makes bank back in their world be so frugal and down to earth. One day they say to Idia "you play retro games for nostalgia, i play retro games because i cannot afford new ones, we are not the same." And Ruggie tries to call them out.

"Actually I donate most of my millions to charities in need and enjoying sponsoring education for young children in less fortunate situations. Also, those damn alien bastards stole all of my newer consoles and deleted my save data."

They don't like Octavinelle. They're posers protecting a restaurant by Mediocre blackmail and threats of violence. "Booo where im from corporations make sure to stage your suicide by shooting you three times in the back of the head for speaking up about child labor"

They esp hate Azul. "Mindless corporations like yours forced me and my comrades across sea to commit atrocities on innocents and die over oil. You are not a cool dude, bro." Or just.

"You claim to know how to fight and use magic yet only fight against those who are weaker than you. This one is for my ignihyde friend that was bullied by you." And the trio just roll their eyes before getting steamrolled by this mfer in a real fight and almost end up in the ER. This is the same person who said "those damn shrimp bastards will pay for frying my rice and trying to break into the kitchen.

They advocate equal rights and just a good dude. Everytime they speak you hear a hard-core guitar riff. They are simultaneously the smartest yet stupidest person everyone knows. Everyone agrees that they're cool as hell tho. They hand Yuu a cold one and take off their glasses to wink, but underneath their glasses, they have another pair on.

They are just a walking shitpost

2) yeah i checked my blog and dont think I have cake (slice) anon??? Your cool, welcome aboard

[entishramblings]

The Innocence of Brutality Pt. 7 [Legolas/F!Reader]

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

A.N: hey my preciouses. so im back from my hiatus with some pain and suffering for you all. this part was very hard to write as this story is a 10th walker. lol i struggle to follow an already created plot and not get bored writing—and that’s why I gotta add some twists and funky ass kicking Rámaitë Mahtar lore heh. anywaysss...enjoy!

Request: none

Pairing: Legolas X Fem!Reader

Summary: The Reader is Rámaitë Mahtar, a warrior spirit race, and she meets the fellowship on their quest to destroy the ring.  

Disclaimer: Any mythology relating to the Rámaitë Mahtar is not canon as I made up Rámaitë Mahtar. Also, all elvish was translated from a translator site—it may not be accurate.

Word Count: 6.5k (i know I'm sorry i am a menace) 

Warnings: nudity (not sex), mentions of war, mentions of torture, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, beard abuse (sorry gimli)

MASTERLIST | AO3 | WATTPAD | The Innocence of Brutality Masterlist | HERE for OC format

The fellowship and the Rámaite Mahtar spent hours upon hours enduring the biting lash of the snow's frigid touch and the piercing wail of the wind. The Pass of Caradhras fought against them, hard and strong. Relentless it was; as if the mountain itself was pained by their footsteps, doing all it could to shake them off and consign them to a frozen grave. Though they soon discovered that the mountain was not alone in pursuing their downfall.

Legolas frowned, squinting past the snowflakes that landed upon his lashes. It was hard to focus on anything but navigating through the blowing blizzard, for if he wavered his calculations, he and the fellowship would surely fall to their deaths. Yet still, something tugged at his mind, begging him to recognize its warning. The elf, determined to unravel what it was, let his senses settle into the air around him, absorbing all he could. That is when he heard it—a resonant voice murmuring curses into the wintry air.

The elven prince spun on his heel—so fast that he startled the dwarf behind him. Now facing the rest of his company, he cried out his cautionary statement. “Someone is aiding the storm. There is a fell voice upon the air.”

Gandalf met his eye, and only one word passed the wizard’s slips. “Saruman.”

(Y/N) turned to Legolas. Over the wind, she yelled her question to him. “Who is this man of saru?”

However, before any method of how he could even begin to articulate such a person even entered his mind, Aragorn and Boromir tones sprung into the air. Their voices grew insistent, advocating to return the way they came, only for Gandalf to fiercely argue against it.

“Legolas,” (Y/N) addressed again, not paying mind to the serious conversation behind her. “Who is this man of saru?”

“(Y/N),” he started. However, he was interrupted by a deep murmur that reverberated through the mountain’s core. That was the only warning the fellowship received. Seconds later, heavy clumps of snow came thundering down from the slopes above them. Legolas’ unfinished words were swept away by the mountain's rampage, lost amidst the chaotic dance of falling powder.

“Get back!” was briefly heard as Aragorn pressed his body against the side of the mountain. He attempted to take Frodo and Sam with him through a failed outreached hand grasping upon nothingness. 

The Rámaite Mahtar’s eyes followed the motion, her instincts kicking in. 

Her wings snapped open, tearing through the fabric and leather armor that clothed her. They extended outwards, providing a canopy over the four hobbits, just as the avalanche was to bury them. 

(Y/N) grit her teeth, her form shaking slightly as the pressure hit. 

Silent the hobbits were, no sound leaving their normally chatty lips, as the onslaught of snow railed upon (Y/N). Only awe was present upon their expressions as those four pairs of big, worried eyes looked up at her stern face. 

The Rámaite Mahtar, however, took no notice to their concern. She held steady until no further weight was forced upon her wings.

Slowly, she lifted her head up—proud and strong—and her wings following suit. She shook them off. The snow she had caught tumbled from her feathery masses. It skipped off the edge of the mountain, leaving its longtime home.

Legolas emerged from beneath the snow rather quickly. A single glimpse of (Y/N)'s outstretched wings and the visible hobbits revealed to him what she had done. Knowing they were out of harm's way, he wasted no time in digging through the snow to unearth his other companions.

As the first hand broke the surface, Legolas seized hold of it and yanked. Spluttering, up came Aragorn. The two didn't need to speak to know what else needed to be done. They instantly began to sweep away the glistening snowflakes that continued to conceal their comrades. They hoped to retrieve them—one by one—from their frozen confinement. 

(Y/N), seemingly deeming the two men competent enough to handle the task, moved closer to the hobbits. She patted Frodo’s head as she looked between the four of them. “Safe, safe, yes?” 

Their responses consisted of small nods and drifting gazes, their minds still in shock.

Boromir and Gandalf soon emerged, though one member of their company was still not yet found.

“Gimli! Where is Gimli?” Legolas called out desperately.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows as her gaze scanned the snowy landscape. Meanwhile, the rest of the fellowship frantically dug, their efforts driven by urgency. (Y/N) took a few steps forward, her expression determined.

Suddenly, she began stomping in various spots on the fluffy snow bed.

Her companions, including Legolas, exchanged puzzled glances, unable to comprehend her actions. However, their confusion quickly dissipated when a muffled war cry echoed from beneath her feet. Without hesitation, (Y/N) plunged her hand deep into the snow and pulled hard. Emerging from the white depths, beard first, came Gimli, hollering and gasping for air.

Sighs of relief exited many lips before the arguing between the navigators started once again. 

(Y/N) looked between them, watching, observing, trying and failing to understand the gravity of the situation. Though it seemed it wasn't really up to her to have to understand. The decision got passed down to Frodo and the small hobbit picked their dwarven friend’s option: The Mines of Moria. 

Therefore, they wearily trudged down the mountain, their souls burdened and their bodies fatigued. (Y/N)'s wings guarded the hobbits, shielding them from the biting winds until they finally arrived before the sealed doors of the dwarven kingdom. And there they remained, seated in patient anticipation—for hours on end.

In the stillness, only the soft murmurs of Gandalf's whispered words and hushed conversations drifted among the fellowship, creating an atmosphere of quiet suspense. 

Legolas perched beside Y/N, holding her leather armor layer in one hand and a sharp knife in the other. He was carefully carving the ripped section into a smoother line, ensuring easy exposure of her wings. Given their current lifestyle, he presumed it was crucial for her to retract and unveil her deadliest weapon effortlessly. Besides, they lacked the time and resources to stop in a town again, and even if they did, they wouldn't find suitable clothing to accommodate her unique form. The Rámaite Mahtar were not supposed to exist—not in this world at this time. She was an exception. She was a phenomenon. She was a secret—one that could get them all killed. 

“Legolas,” (Y/N) stated. “Who is this man of saru?”

The elf briefly glanced up at her as he continued to work. This was the third time he was asked this question by her, and he knew she would ask it again if it was left unanswered. She was persistent like that. He cleared his throat. “Do you remember how we told you that there were some who intended to harm us and the people of this world?”

She nodded.

“Well,” he continued. “Saruman is one of them. He is aiding and orchestrating armies for Sauron.”

“Sauron?” (Y/N) questioned.

Legolas sighed, placing the leather down as he focused on (Y/N). He knew he would have to give her all his attention for this conversation. It wasn't one that you could have so casually. “Sauron is consumed by an insatiable thirst for power. He wants to enslave its people, create an empire of pain and suffering, and burn it down to ash and bone.” 

“Why?” she asked, so innocently. 

 “(Y/N),” he stated softly, gazing into those goddamn brilliant, concerned, (e/c) eyes of hers. “Sauron…Sauron was a servant of Morgoth.”

The Rámaite Mahtar's lips parted, releasing a hushed gasp that was woven with fear and disbelief. 

Legolas watched as these emotions shattered her soul and wreaked havoc in her heart. Her brows furrowed, her lips contorted, her gaze wandered, and her eyelids fluttered. Processing. That is what she was doing—absorbing the shock and dissecting its meaning. 

“(Y/N),” he whispered, reaching for her hand. “(Y/N), Morgoth will not come here. He cannot come to this plane. The Valar would never permit it.”

She shook her head, pulling away from him. “Yes, he would. For me, he would. For me, they would let him.”

“(Y/N),” he said again, desperately.

She stood, shaking her head, her voice rising slightly. “You do not understand!!!”

Legolas, sensing her distress escalating, abandoned his seat and moved to stand with her. Gently, he took both her hands in his own. “(Y/N), help me understand.” He peered down into her wild eyes, searching for an answer. “Please, help me understand. I am here. I am listening.”

She glanced down at the ground below her feet, taking in a deep breath as she tried to gather herself—to regulate her emotions, Legolas perceived.

After a moment, she looked back to him. Her voice was quiet as she spoke. “I—I did things. B–before. When I was here long ago.”

The Prince nodded his head in encouragement. 

She shut her eyes and withdrew her hands from his hold, letting her arms wrap around herself in what appeared to be a self-soothing state. “T–terrible things.” (Y/N) focused her gaze back onto Legolas. “They–they wanted it empty of some of the stuff they put in it.”

“What do you mean?” he inquired softly, his confusion deepening. “What did they want empty?”

(Y/N) frowned, her expression twitching as she tried to pick out the correct word to use. “The–the world.” She paused, just for a moment. “So, we emptied it. But–but we did not understand. I did not understand. There were peoples there.” As her words flowed on, she delicately extended her hand and brushed her fingertips against his ear. He fought the urge to flinch at the contact, but he did not stop her. Knowing how sincere and vulnerable she was in that moment, he wanted her to continue her truth. He didn't desire to give her any reason at all to halt her words. “Peoples like—like you, but not like you. Different.” She furthered, her hand then slid along the curve of his elvish ear until it was nothing but a ghost. (Y/N) looked down once again. “They screamed and cried, but we did not know, so we did not stop.”

“(Y/N),” he whispered, cupping her cheek and forcing her to look at him. “It was not your fault. The Valar did not teach you. They did not teach you of right and wrong.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, a tear escaping them. “It was my fault. I was the leader.”

Legolas’ thumb gently wiped away the water that ran down her cheek. “But you did not know, my starlight. You did not know.”

A quiet sob escaped her chest as she tried to look away from him. Though he would not let her. He would not let her suffer this guilt alone. Legolas pulled her form into his own. He enveloped her in his embrace, encircling his arm around her waist, while his other hand cradled the back of her head.

Instantly, she responded to this affection. Her hands—those small, deadly hands that had annihilated so many people—grasped onto his tunic, yanking at the threads. The ethereal glow of her wings enveloped him as well, as if just her arms were not enough to hug him back. And the pressure of her body against his was firm, almost urging him to anchor himself in case he lost balance. In that moment, with her face nestled against his chest, she sought solace and refuge in his embrace.

Softly, he pressed a kiss to her head as his hand moved in slow, soothing circles on her back.

Legolas knew the rest of the fellowship was trying, and failing, not to stare, but he did not care. This—this was important. This realization. This moment. This needed to happen. It represented her growth in the most pure and genuine way. 

The embrace, however, was disturbed by the sound of a gentle plop that resonated in the air like a soft melody—though one very much out of place. One after another, the droplets of sound caressed their ears, intruding upon the intimate moment they shared. However, Aragorn’s chidding tone unintentionally attempted to give it back to them as he ordered Merry and Pippin to halt their actions.

Still, (Y/N) turned to look at the rippling of the water, watching as it moved with little rifts and smooth slides. The Rámaite Mahtar tilted her head, ignoring Frodo’s voice pipping up with a question regarding the door’s riddle. It wasn't directed at her anyways. She took a step closer to the water, and another, and another—until the sound of loud stone shifting claimed her and her companion’s attention.

The group gathered their belongings, (Y/N) folding in her wings and pulling the altered leather armor upon her form, before they flowed through the now opened doors. As they listened to Gimli rave of his cousins’ hospitality, they filed in. However, hospitality did not greet them. Nothing did. There were no torches. There were no cheers. There were no dwarven faces. Simply put: not a trace of life offered them a welcome and naught but dread stirred in their presence. As darkness wrapped around them, Gandalf lit his staff. That glow began to reflect light, allowing the fellowship to bear witness to the truth.

“This–this is no mine.” Boromir began, horror upon his tone. “It’s a tomb!”

Immediately, Gimli’s loud cries of despair echoed throughout the vast walls and the hobbits’ heavy breathing followed. 

“We should never have come here. We must make for the Gap of Rohan!” Boromir exclaimed. 

Rash shuffling from each member of the group followed as they began scrambling from the hallway of bones. Those bones, however, were immediately replaced by a new threat—one of tentacles and slime.

Before they even could escape the tomb, Frodo was clawing at the ground, his anguished cries for help piercing the air. The other hobbits urgently grasped his arms, straining with all their might to free him from the vile creature coiling around his legs. Yet his friends were only so strong. The creature drug the poor hobbit to the lake, flinging him through the air like a mere plaything. 

Instantly, the fellowship, with weapons raised, were scrambling after him.

Though, the one that was the fastest was (Y/N). Her wings extended from her form, not breaking the newly crafted adjustments to her leather. With one strong push, she was in the air and weaving through the tentacles. 

“By the Valar,” Aragorn whispered.

At his tone, Legolas’ gaze flickered from his aimed arrow and to his friend’s line of sight above the beast of the lake. Immediately, the elf’s lips parted in astonishment. Even after the months that they had known the Rámaite Mahtar, they had yet to see her fly. They had seen those beautiful wings act as blades, blankets, and canopies, but they hadn't seen them act for their intended purpose. They hadn't seen them serve as instruments of the wind. Legolas could not help but let his bow falter as he stared. 

“She’s….she’s beautiful,” Legolas whispered. 

Aragorn, his own shock subsiding, grabbed the elf’s arm and hissed a panicked order at him. “Legolas, cast aside your admiration and put an end to that vile beast!”

“Right, right,” he mumbled, drawing his arrow once again.

Aragorn ran into the water, slicing at the tentacles in desperate hope to free Frodo—and prevent his own capture. 

(Y/N) maintained a relentless attack from above, using her wings as weapons to sever the slimy limbs impeding her path towards Frodo. With remarkable speed and precision, each stroke of her wings propelled her closer to the young hobbit, the distance shrinking inch by inch. However, just as she was closing in, the beast sent two tentacles her way. She spun quickly, her wings slicing them both, but it was the third to the back that she did not anticipate. It smacked against her shoulder blades, hard. Her body was launched backwards as if she was nothing but a gnat being batted away. The blow held such vigorous force that she crashed into the side of the mountain and tumbled with broken rock. Everything crumbled until she too joined the dust upon the ground.

Legolas, with fearful eyes, screamed her name. She did not answer.

The Prince continued firing arrow after arrow as he moved backwards towards the broken Rámaite Mahtar. Each forceful strike diverted the creature's attention. This distraction allowed Aragorn to slice the tentacle constricting Frodo, while Boromir swiftly caught him.

“Go, go, go!” Aragorn yelled, pushing Boromir and Frodo back onto the land. “Into the mines!”

The group darted through the entrance, Legolas scooping (Y/N) up into his arms as he did so. 

The lake’s guardian tried to pursue them, its battered limbs slamming against the rugged mountain surface. However, in doing so, the squid-like creature lost its meal. In its desperate attempt to give chase, the fellowship’s fate was sealed. The attack caused the rocks to tremble and shudder. So much so, that the entrance to the passage crumbled and collapsed—entombing the alive with the dead.

Thick dust now drifted through the air, melding with the sounds of adrenalized breath and pounding hearts. They stood still as Gandalf lit his staff once more.

“We have now but one choice,” the wizard started as he began walking deeper into the mine. “We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.”

“Mithrandir, wait.” Legolas called out, almost desperately. 

All eyes shifted, only to be surprised to see the Rámaite Mahtar cradled in his arms. Before, she had appeared to be invincible. From the first day they encountered her, when she lifted the strongest member of the fellowship by the throat and nearly killed him, they had thought she was unstoppable. This belief was further reinforced as they witnessed her relentless prowess in battle. She ruthlessly obliterated a pack of orcs like it was nothing. She had annihilated them with sheer force that made even the elves look weak. A glimmer of possibility was instilled in them. Maybe their quest was not destined to fail after all? She was their hope. And now? Now that hope was a slumped, unmoving, bleeding form. 

“(Y/N)?” Pippin whispered, his voice so quiet, so small. 

“Is–is she alive?” Merry added, his tone mirroring his closest friend’s.

Legolas did not answer them as he gently laid her body onto the ground, kneeling next to her. With frantic lips murmuring a prayer in Sindarin, he reached to hold her face. Almost instantly, the Prince’s shaking hands were painted in her red blood. He tried to not focus on it as his nimble fingers found her carotid artery. He couldn't afford to think that she could be dead. Not now. Not ever. 

The air was quiet and full of anxiety as they awaited his words—ones that would either break or heal their hearts. 

“She’s alive.” 

Sighs of relief left many’s lips, though Legolas did not hear one exit the wizard’s. 

“I must treat her wounds.”

Gandalf huffed. “We cannot linger here.”

“Mithrandir!” Legolas called out, appalled. “She cannot be left to bleed—”

“Legolas, îdh, listo. (Legolas, calm, please.)” Aragorn stated, raising his hand. He then turned to the wizard. “Gandalf, Legolas is right. Without medical attention she could die. I understand you do not trust her yet, but she has saved our lives many times over. We need her.” He paused, nodding to the hobbits. “They need her.” 

He huffed but dipped his head in agreement. He couldn't argue with that logic. “Ten minutes.”

Legolas was quick to pull his medical bag from his shoulder and began digging for supplies. 

“Legolas, man  tur- im ceri? (Legolas, what can I do?)” Aragorn stated as he knelt beside him. 

The Prince passed him a small pouch as well as a mortar and pestle. “Mol hi into a sirith ir im heneb hen. (Grind this into a paste while I examine her.)”

Aragorn nodded, beginning the assigned task. 

Legolas lifted her head, feeling the back of it, before speaking in the common tongue for the others to understand. “Swelling, but no blood from this blow. Seems it just knocked her out.” He twisted her face to see the bleeding cut above her brow. “This cut is pretty deep. I will need to stitch it so the skin mends properly.” 

“Despite her ability to heal quickly? Cuts like this usually are gone within a day or so for her, correct?” 

“Yes, but the flow is heavy and with the risk of infection—especially with all the grime in here…..” Legolas let his sentence trail off. 

“Master elf,” Samwise interrupted softly. “Is there anything I can do?” 

The Prince looked up at him. A gentle smile crossed his face for he knew of (Y/N)’s relationship with the hobbits. He knew how much she cared for them and they her. “Sam, if you could get Gandalf’s staff, maybe provide us with some better light?”

The hobbit nodded and quickly scurried off. Legolas could hear the soft conversation between the grumpy wizard and the innocent hobbit, though he was too focused on (Y/N) to pay attention. Regardless, Gandalf must have given in, for the hobbit returned seconds later with the light. 

“Sam, hold it over here. I must check her wings.”

The light cascaded brightly above them, its luminosity filtering across the brilliant wings. The feathers absorbed and reflected those subtle colors, shining them back upon the three men. If the scene wasn't encased in blood and emotional turmoil, it would have been a radiant spectacle. But now, the once alluring silk-like texture bore the marks of horror—marks none would want to see freely.

“There does not appear to be any significant damage. Most of the blood is from the head wound or superficial cuts.” Legolas stated. “It looks worse than it really is.”

“But–but then why isn't she waking up?” Pippin inquired with unease.

Legolas did not answer, for he didn't have a reason to give the hobbit. Instead, he returned to the wound upon her brow. “Pass me that needle and threat.” 

Soon enough, the Rámaite Mahtar’s cut was sealed and the blood upon her face was wiped clean. If they had not known of the events that had transpired, maybe she would have looked like she was sleeping peacefully. That, however, much to their dismay, was not the case.

Boromir, seeing (Y/N)'s treatment completed, spoke again. “We can take shifts carrying her.”

Legolas clenched his jaw, refusing to look at the Gondorian, as he gathered the winged warrior into his arms. “When her wings are exposed, it adds at least a hundred pounds to her weight. Without elven strength, you wouldn’t be able to carry her for long.” 

Boromir scoffed lightly and sent a look at the elf. 

Legolas wanted to snap back with another snarky reply, but he knew it would do no good. Hell, his previous comment was uncalled for—and he knew it. Boromir was a good, honorable man at heart. Legolas knew he would never do anything to harm (Y/N). The Gondorian respected her—as a woman, warrior, and friend. Besides, at this point, it was quite apparent that the Prince and Rámaite Mahtar’s souls were bound. So, Legolas kept his mouth shut as he pushed past Boromir and towards the front of the group. 

Aragorn walked up beside the Gondorian. He gently patted the man’s shoulder. “Don’t take it personally. Elves tend to get quite possessive over their lovers, especially under dire circumstances.” The Ranger then chuckled. “Not one of their finer traits.” 

Boromir snorted lightly in amusement, now not taking Legolas’ behavior to heart. “Indeed,” was his simple reply. 

Time seemed to stretch endlessly as they continued their journey along the paths of the old dwarven corridors. The fellowship found themselves halted at a crossroads, a convergence of three diverging paths, where Gandalf stood at the forefront, evaluating which direction to proceed with. 

Legolas settled himself on the ground, leaning his back against the cool stone surface. Keeping (Y/N) in his lap, he gently adjusted her position, allowing her head to rest upon his chest and shoulder, her face nestled against the curve of his neck. Finding a moment of reprieve, he let out a soft sigh and pressed his head against the wall behind him, shutting his eyes. With a soothing touch, he traced gentle strokes along the Rámaite Mahtar's cheek, passing the time with rest.

It felt like only minutes, even though he knew it was hours, when Gandalf called for them to follow. Legolas begrudgingly stood with (Y/N) in his arms.

“Legolas,” Aragorn’s voice softly sounded beside him. “Let me take her.”

The elf turned to face his friend. “It’s alright. I’ve got her.” 

The Ranger shook his head. “You must keep some strength if we are to make it through this mine. Exhaustion will do you no good. I will watch over her, even if it’s just for a little while.”

Legolas exhaled slowly but dipped his head in agreement. He knew Aragorn was right. As an elf, he had senses that would allow him to slay twice as many servants of darkness. If they were to come across any enemies, they would need him—especially with their strongest weapon now unconscious. Therefore, he passed (Y/N) to Aragorn.

The Ranger was careful as he took her into his arms, her wings hanging limp around him and brushing upon the dusty floor. “Valar—“ he mumbled. “You weren’t kidding about her weight.” 

Legolas smirked lightly. “If she is too heavy, I can take her back.”

The Ranger grunted. “No, no. I’m fine.” 

The elf raised his brows but followed the others.

Legolas kept an eye on Aragorn and (Y/N) as they moved. Though it wasn't out of distrust or jealousy, it was out of concern. He could sense, as the minutes passed and as the terrain roughened, the Ranger began to tire. However, it seemed he was not the only one who could tell. 

Boromir approached Aragorn. “You look like you could use a break. I will carry her.” 

Aragorn let out a low—and slightly strained—laugh. “Are you certain? Legolas wasn’t mistaken about her weight.” 

The Gondorian bobbed his head. “I hardly believe she is that much to bear.” 

“Suit yourself,” the Ranger replied as he passed the winged warrior to the other man. 

“By the Creator….” Boromir immediately gruffed out. 

Now it was Aragorn’s turn to tease. “I warned you.” 

“That you did,” the Gondorian grunted. He then nodded ahead. “We don’t want to get left behind. Let’s keep moving.” 

However, it wasn’t long before Boromir approached Legolas. “I won’t ever doubt the strength of you and your people again,” he expressed, accompanied by a warm smile. “Are you able to carry your girl again?” 

Legolas nodded, guilt flickering in his heart for his previous rude demeanor towards the man. “Yes. Thank you, Boromir. I appreciate your help.”

The Gondorian nodded in understanding before he passed (Y/N) back towards the elf. 

…..

As the days passed, (Y/N) still hadn’t woken, which proved to be worrisome. The wound upon her forehead had healed, leaving only a light scar that Legolas knew would disappear in a couple days. The swelling upon the back of her head vanished as well, providing even more confusion to her still unconscious state. She would stir here and there, but never did those curious, (e/c) eyes open. If she had survived a fall from the Valar’s incarceration, why was she remaining unconscious from a strike of the lake’s beast?

Still, they could not wait on her to wake. They had to push further. So, the fellowship continued to pass through Moria in secret, observing the dwarven wonders as they did so. However, it was ignorant to hope that that secrecy would last—and as soon as the corpse of an old dwarf tumbled down that well, they knew they were discovered. 

It all happened so fast. 

Legolas barely had time to place (Y/N)’s form down against Balin’s tomb before the doors were splintering, revealing orc faces dripping with evil desire. 

However, at the first clank of a sword, there came at least one good act.

A large gasp, loud and alarm-filled, struck the air. The Rámaite Mahtar jolted upright. In an instant, her wings snapped back to life, shedding their previously limp state, and surged outward with lethal swiftness. As they unfurled, they decapitated three nearby orcs.

Legolas could only manage to call out her name in relief before he too was consumed by the battle. 

With (Y/N) ripping the vile creatures into pieces, even faster than the elf, the fellowship had thought they had a chance. Well, that was until one sentence left the Gondorian’s lips.

“They have a fucking cave troll.” 

From then on, it was a blur. Each member of the group was fighting for their lives—including the hobbits. Though all their hearts stopped when Frodo called out in pain and crumbled to the ground. Shrieks of fear left every member’s lips as Aragorn desperately rushed to his body. Those heartaching cries, however, quieted when Frodo’s small voice sang out clearly. “It’s alright. I’m not hurt.” 

Then they were running again, and again, and again. 

The immense chamber teemed with a horde of orcs, swarming across every surface—the ground, walls, and ceiling. So much so, that the members of the quest were encircled by them, barely having room to breathe. A sort of stalemate settled in, both sides waiting for the other to make the first move.

(Y/N)’s wings twitched as she rotated, readying herself.

Though a fight did not come—not from the thousands of revolting beings. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Each member of the fellowship spun and turned at that sound. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

The orcs faltered and swiveled their heads. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Panic then erupted. The grotesque creatures scrambled to flee. They shoved and pushed one and other as their gangly forms scurried away—back to the hellhole that they came from. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

“What is this new devilry?” Boromir whispered. 

Badum, badum, badum. 

Gandalf sucked in a deep breath. “A balrog of Morgoth.”

(Y/N)’s heart froze. 

“A demon of the ancient world,” Gandalf continued. “This foe is beyond any of you. RUN!”

It was here that the fellowship mimicked the goblins—though with more care for one another. They took off down the vast hallway as they made for the Bridge of Khazad Dum. Their legs moved quicker than they ever would have thought possible—stopping only when there was a gap in a path above the fiery abyss.

Legolas was the first to leap across, his nimble form making it appear easy. Gandalf was the next to make the jump. Merry and Pippin were to follow with Boromir; however, they were halted as arrows shot at their feet—just nearly missing. 

(Y/N) whipped her head around, just in time to see another projectile whizzing straight towards Boromir. 

The Rámaite Mahtar was quick to lift her wing in front of him. The fine tip pierced her instantly, causing a deep grunt of pain to exit her lips. The arrow went through the feathery flesh, but halted as it got stuck in tight muscle—only inches away from Boromir’s forehead. 

The Gondorian’s wide eyes shifted to her—in thanks, in shock, in guilt. 

Legolas quickly turned and fired his bow, taking out the archer. 

“Go!” (Y/N) shouted as she lowered her wing. 

With that, Boromir grabbed Merry and Pippin and leaped onto the other side. His feet landed just before the section they had previously stood on collapsed. 

(Y/N) was next. She lifted her wings slightly, despite the pain, to give herself more of a drift. As she landed she shuffled close to Merry and Pippin and ripped the arrow from her wing with a groan.

As Legolas caught Sam and then Gimli—by the beard—another arrow whizzed past the hobbits’ head. 

Once again, the Rámaite Mahtar shielded them—earning two more arrows in the wing. 

By the time Frodo and Aragorn finagled their way across the ever growing gap, the Balrog was upon them. 

The fellowship were fleeing as fast as they possibly could. A few brave souls dared to steal a glance behind, their hearts pounding in their chests. Among them was Frodo, and as his eyes locked onto the fiery menace descending upon Gandalf, a cry of terror escaped his lips. The collective gaze of the group shifted at that, now drawn to the scene unfolding before them. They then bore witness.

The wizard stood strong. His deep voice, full of power and protection, echoed through the cavern. “You cannot pass.” 

The Balrog attacked. Gandalf defended. 

“I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow!”

Once again, the Balrog attacked. Gandalf defended. 

The wizard brought his sword and staff crashing down upon the bridge, a resounding boom echoing through the air. His voice then thundered, filled with unwavering determination. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Those words seemed to reverberate through the chamber, carrying the weight of his command across the stone. In that moment, he stood as a barrier, defying the very force that sought to destroy them and their mission.

The bridge began to crumble. Piece by piece, the stone began to fall, taking the Balrog with it. 

Gandalf inhaled deeply. 

It was done. 

The whip, however, lashed out one final time. With a swift motion, it coiled around the wizard's ankle, forcefully pulling him off his feet. In a fleeting moment, he was airborne, his body suspended before gravity claimed its prize. Gandalf’s hands flailed, desperately reaching out for anything to anchor him to the bridge's edge. His fingers found the stone and his nails dug in. Though, he knew he had no chance. He wished only to leave a message for the one who looked up to him the most.

Frodo cried out once again, lunging for his mentor and friend.

Boromir, however, wrapped a strong arm around him and held him back. 

The little hobbit, sobbing, held eye contact with the wizard. 

“Fly you fools,” Gandalf whispered. 

Then, he too, was gone. 

Frodo screamed, his cry intertwining with that of his fellow hobbits, creating a symphony of despair that echoed through the burning darkness.

However, they weren’t the only ones to have a profound reaction.

Surprisingly, (Y/N) rushed forward. She sprinted down the bridge, her legs carrying her fast, but she wasn’t fast enough. Legolas anticipated what she was going to do. He saw how her strides stretched wide and how her wings extended. She was gonna jump. Reacting swiftly, he took off after her. His paces were wider and his speed was quick. Just as she was about to push herself into the air, Legolas grabbed onto her waist and yanked her backward. The unstable bridge trembled under the sudden motion, threatening to give way, but the elf maintained his balance and steadied the winged woman in his grasp.

“LEGOLAS!” she snapped in fierce anger. Her threatening gaze—one that he had only seen directed towards enemies—poured into him, almost incinerating his soul. 

“IT’S TOO LATE!” He barked back, ignoring the startlement that just flushed his veins and choosing to focus on the bridge crumbling beneath their feet. “RUN!” 

With that he tugged her in the opposite direction, following the remaining members of the fellowship. 

When they burst from the mines, their souls shattered like fragile glass. The hobbits collapsed upon the stony ground, their tears flowing freely, their sorrow reverberating through their chests. Agonized grimaces etched themselves onto the faces of Gimli and Boromir. Aragorn tried his best to conceal his pain, though his grey eyes betrayed him with hidden turmoil. And Legolas? He stood motionless, disbelief written across his face.

(Y/N), however, snapped him out of it. She pushed her palms against his chest, hard. “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”

He twisted to look at her. “What?”

“Why did you stop me?!” The Rámaite Mahtar quipped back aggressively. She grasped onto the two arrows still embedded in her wing. She yanked them out. “I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM!” 

Legolas shook his head, his tone calm and full of despair. “No, (Y/N). No, you could not.”

Her hands ran through her hair, frantically and angrily, the strands tangled and pulled on as she sought release from the overwhelming emotions rippling through her blood. A frustrated scream escaped her lips—a raw manifestation of these turbulent feelings surging. With a sudden burst, she spun back around, facing him with eyes ablaze. “I have killed one of those–those balrogs!” She took an enraged step towards him. “My legion and I bleed one dry of its fire! And you—”

Legolas interrupted her, his tone now picking up. “And I stopped you from killing yourself! You and your legion—”

“Legolas!—”

He grabbed onto her shoulders as his next words raced across the stones, silencing the area from all but tears. “YOUR LEGION ISN'T HERE!” 

The wind skipped through the leaves of the trees, uneasy at the elf’s sudden tone. It blew gently upon the despairing people, begging to kiss their skin with some kind of hope, but only succeeding in tearing their hearts further. Still, it continued its melancholic dance. Seemingly carrying the weight of their shattered souls with its whispering of sorrowful melodies. 

Nature itself mourned alongside (Y/N) as she stared, bewildered, at Legolas. 

The Prince closed his eyes and lowered his head. He inhaled deeply, regretting his tone. After a moment, now returned to his normal steady and calm temperament, he gazed into her eyes and spoke again. “(Y/N), your legion is not here and they will remain absent. They were not present to help you defeat this Balrog and they will not come to help you fight others. They are imprisoned, beyond your reach. They won't escape as you did—not now, not after you have. The chains will have been fortified and the gates sealed with blood. You are the sole Rámaite Mahtar that will ever step on these lands.” He paused, his tone now a whisper. “You are alone.”

(Y/N)’s expression distorted. Her brows crinkled, her lips quivered, her eyes watered, and her form shook. Emotions whipped through her blood, boiling and freezing in the pain of realization and acceptance. She supposed a part of her had thought that her race would eventually return with her—join her in learning this plane. Though now that that secret hope was exposed and disproven, there was nothing else to be said. The truth stood liberated from the web of self-created falsehoods that had previously concealed it.

“(Y/N),” Legolas whispered, realizing the dream he had just shattered. 

And that was all it took. 

A loud sob escaped her throat and tears pooled down her face. She flung her form into his arms and cried.

She cried and she cried—as loudly as the hobbits. 

And Legolas held her. He rocked her back and forth as he smoothed her hair, desperately trying to keep her safe from the pain, though he knew it was too late. He pressed a kiss to her head as he whispered into her ear. “Though you may be alone among your kind, I will forever be by your side.”

…..

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

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Megan thee stallion and astrology ⭐️

Credit: @insertlanasong

(Im in no way blaming dv on where the stars were in the sky. the gremlin and all these other male bullies are accountable for their OWN actions)

*Lilith in 1st: I’m not gonna stfu about this placement. When I say men are intimidated by us and we don’t even have to speak. Megan constantly gets told she’s acting like a man and trying to play a man’s game for being openly sexual. These same people lust after her all day long. It should be noted how many men online and in the industry seemed to gang up on her for someone nobody gaf about all like that and who had a history of violence. With Lilith in 1st people are waiting for your downfall and you have to be mindful of who is around and why they’re there. 

*her aqua sun she’s definitely been very giving and she’s been promoting charities for cancer, I think she’s trying to open some hospitals, organized a clean the beach event, and advocated for victims of abuse esp black women.

* Megan has a Leo mars and people have compared her performance energy to Beyoncé who also has a Leo mars. I do enjoy this placements ability to put on a show

*Shes a good representative of Taurus rising women as she can go into multiple spaces. She’s recently visiting the White House and her classy Venusian energy fit in well.

* megan stated in a live that she can’t stay away from Virgos and her ex friend Kelsey was one also Moneybaggyo. She has Virgo in her 5th which could explain her gravitating towards them because of the fun and excitement that house brings.

*Megans bf Pardison has Venus square Lilith (which represents his relationships w women and she’s Lilith prominent) his mars in her 7th/8th house cusp and hella 10th house synastry. She’s known as the hot girl coach and was introduced to the public as looking for a fun time and not taking men seriously. But of course 10th house synastry makes you wanna go to show that person off esp Venus.

*I love Nickis music so barbs pls don’t come for me (idgaf) but nicki has been arguing w herself. She’s a sag sun and Venus so these placements are likely In Megan’s 8th house. People like to debate what the planet person feels but it’s alot of mutual energy. Megan seemed to be a fan of nicki and they seemed to get along. Then something clearly happened and nicki started throwing shot after shot at Megan since 2021. And to this day *in my tiktok voice* nicki is arguing w herself in the public eye coming after Megan HARD. I’ve had an 8th house stellium with this guy and it’s gone very similar it’s a love-hate until it’s straight up hate after a certain point. It’s been weird to see this considering nicki has never so overtly came after somebody this much esp somebody she co-signed and collabed w. And nicki is a sag Venus (aka a bisexual which Megan is as well) so I wouldnt be suprised if this could be a scorned lover situation.

Torey Lanez’s pluto squared Megan’s sun, moon, and mars. His Lilith conjuncts her sun plus his mars in her 1st house. That man was obsessed w her and he already had a clear anger problem that he admitted to during an interview. My cousin has sun square pluto w her bf and he’s very controlling and insecure when it comes to her.

7th house synastry though very comfortable Can also be be open enemies. For ex: Megan thee stallion after that gremlin shot her you had numerous MEN coming to attack her (Of course with Lilith in 1st) . I would like to name three of them. Drake, Joe Budden, and Dababy all Scorpio placements. Megan is a Taurus rising w unconfirmed degrees but I bet she has 7th house synastry w all of them. Drake has Venus, sun, and mercury in Scorpio. Joe Budden has a Scorpio mars and Dababy has a Scorpio Venus. They all came for her at one the most difficult times of her career just to drag her down even more. Drake and Dababy publically lusted after her and Joe budden was drooling in his seat interviewing her prior to his comments about her. Im a late Aries rising and I’ve had issues w many Scorpio placements because they had some underlying issue w me for no reason. Scorpio In the 7th is very difficult because if our enemies don’t know if they wanna harm us or literally f*ck us it’s insane. She even said something similar in a freestyle.

I hope she keeps glowing cause her vulnerability and strength is inspiring🫶🏾🫶🏾

[the-path-to-redemption]

I'm the same one who wrote the Blake speech. So after further I realized something.....

The humans in remant don't care about Faunus rights or just down right bystanders.

We literally saw Velvet get harrased by Cardin and no one did anything including RWBY they just sat on their table and discuss the situation with Cardin. (Im assuming that there only a small fraction of Faunus in Beacon and they just let one of their own kind be harrased? Also assuming they have a no Faunus discrimination policy in Bracon and they just allow racist like Cardin in with no consequences)

From what we are given in lore FAUNUS ARE THE ONLY ONE FIGHTING AGAINST PREJUDICE. There other no human allies with them. No human allies are participating in their protestors or advocating Faunus rights.

The only "allies" we see who are with faunus right are the main cast or important characters that are associated with faunus characters.

Roman even says this during vol 2 episode 4

"But, before the claws come out, I'd like to mention the fact that you and I all have a common enemy: the ones in control, the people pulling the strings, the dirty, rotten humans that run our kingdoms! (As the crowd changes their tune and starts agreeing with him.) Government, military, even the schools: they're all to blame for your lot in life! (Lets the crowd cheer as the two heroes share a look.) And they're all pests that need to be dealt with! Fortunately, I'm the best exterminator around... No offense to any rodents in the room."

Now Roman is an unreliable narrator (I haven't read any of the novels so I ain't gonna bother if they change his personality or explain why is he like this) but when you think about it he's not wrong.

You are telling me that NO ON IN HIGHER AUTHORITY Remant help Faunus lives improve? No discrimination laws? No investigations of an exploitation of Faunus? No human politicians advocating and standing for Faunus right? They just let it all happen and call it a day?

Hell even Roman calls out the schools hypocrisy for not doing anything about it. Going back to vol 1 episode 12.

Oobleck: Yes! Yes, prior to the Faunus Rights Revolution--more popularly known as the Faunus War--humankind was quite, quite adamant about centralizing Faunus population in Menagerie. Now! While this must feel like ancient history to many of you, it is imperative to remember that these are relatively recent events! Why, the repercussions of the uprising can still be seen to this day! Now! Have any among you been subjugated or discriminated because of your Faunus heritage?

Some of the silhouetted students raise their hands. Velvet, after a moment, does the same.

Oobleck: Dreadful, simply dreadful! Remember, students, it is precisely this kind of ignorance that breeds violence! I mean, I mean, I mean just look at what happened to White Fang!

True Oobleck! Ignorance does breed violence.....IF YOU ARENT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING IN THE FIST PLACE!!!!!

Do humans believe White Fang jut started because they hate humans! They became violent after realizing what peacful actions wasn't getting them anywhere. Do you know Why?

Because humans were ignoring their need for help. They aren't helping them in any shape or form!

No advocating. No protesting. No standing up for Faunus. Nah dah.

It also doesn't hunter's and huntress are just another sub branch of their kingdom government as they are shown to work with the police. Instead of them working in law enforcement they just fight grimm.

Imagine being a faunus who also a hunter yet still gets discriminate even after killing grim for a majority of your life and this is the thank you get.

^^^^^

[penciltopbear]

Because I love comparing my favorite characters I have been desperately trying to think of more characters to put in The Box but I have yet to think of any.. the requirements for The Box are

1. Cybernetic life form (doesn't have to be entirely inorganic because. the organs)

2. Sarcastic

3. Either evil or morally ambiguous

4. Originally made/owned by someone evil (i.e. house, father, manga khan)

5. Sidekick/henchman to someone less evil than the first guy but still at the very least morally ambiguous (not required but bonus points if they shoot people in the head and have bad fashion sense)

Examples of guys that do NOT go in The Box are Murderbot (rules 3 and 5) Church rvb (rules 3 and 5) and Ed-E (as long as the courier is evil then it satisfies every rule but 2, since Ed-E can't speak. if it could then perhaps it could go in The Box)

If you know anyone that can go in The Box please please tell me! The Box has lots of room

l-ron black ant and yes man all go in the same box. Conversely max lord taskmaster and benny gecko are in their own separate box that's connected to the first box by a red string like a conspiracy board

[bambibaby-afterhours]

I feel like the point of that commenter was missed, do you actually think that they knew, for Charlie maybe yes? but I personally didn't know that the other guy was an idf. your feelings are valid but the amount of times they said that they get punished for speaking up or doing thing on their own accord. Contracts are complicated, i hope div1/jype will give them more freedom. It's heartbreaking this is happening in the world right now. It shouldn't even be happening. Right now as a Stay and a person, donating and spreading information is what matters to me right now. I won't be unstanning but will boycott the song. I believe that the kids have their subtle ways to show their support for Palestine. I believe that time will tell. I hope it comes very soon. Free Palestine !! Free Congo !!

🍉 anon

I didnt miss the commenter’s point and im not asking or telling anyone to unstan or boycott skz but being a true advocate for something means doing the complicated and difficult things especially when your in a position to influence change. skz in comparison to the people im palestine, the students protesting and the different groups of marginalized people protesting and speaking out about the genocide happened have nothing to lose.

They’re a major group the writes and produces their own music and if their reputation precedes them then breaking their contractual censorship wont be as big of a problem as people are making it seem.

Chuu for example is from a smaller company but faced being blacklisted simply for wanting fair treatment and to get paid but her reputation and positive interactions with all of the people she’s worked with helped save her career.

The worst thing that can happen to skz for speaking up is they get dropped by jype and then what??? they write and produce all of their music they can keep doing that independently or with a new company.

The worst thing that can happen to skz if they continue to stay silent is happening right now. Giving a platform to two terrible people; a zionist rape apologist and a zionist IDF member and giving them access to their fandom which is allowing a crazy increase of hate and threats to people boycotting and standing up for Palestinians.

Threatening violence to other stays for talking about not watching skz if and when they perform lmb. threatening fights and assaults at large major music festivals and purposefully streaming that song raising it on the charts which just causes more people to listen and give more money to two zionists again one is a RAPE APOLOGIST and the other is an IDF MEMBER.

Doing the hard things, the difficult things can be scary but whats scary is letting this roll off our backs by saying that contracts are complicated and difficult and they need permission.

At the end of the say all of skz are adults and have control of their hands, mouths and access to the internet. It’s 2024 our morals need to be stronger than a signature on paper especially when lives are being lost.

Imagine if your neighbors, your community was all gone in a matter of 220 days (from oct 7 to now(may 14)) due to being bombed, starved, dehydrated, left out to the elements, executed and forced into concentration camps and someone you looked up to not only remains silent about it but gives people involved and in support of this horrible senseless inhumane crime because “contracts are complicated”

Begging people to see you as human and to help you live another day in a language that isnt yours because you simply want the freedom to exist without the sound of drones and bombs 24/7.

Thats the reality for thousands of people in Palestine right now that’s what they have to do to try and get freedom but all skz has to do is pick up their phones and start typing.

It’s extremely simple when you think about it that way.

Thank you anon for donating and spreading information about gaza and boycotting i appreciate it and i know the people in gaza appreciate it even more. Lots of love to you <3 Take good care of yourself and have an amazing may ‎❤︎ ིྀ

[jawd]

I looked it up and that ceo isnt even a billionaire. Im sorry you can afford a prescription but theirs easy ways to get them cheap. i don’t know its just really cringe to advocate for violence against people ngl

shut the actual goddamn fucking hell up

[primaviva]

i'm not sure if you're aware of the representation of the israeli occupation being the entirety of the wlf vs the seraphites section and that that's actually where neil's zionist views are most prevalent. i think it's disingenuous to call out the performativeness of ellie content while completing negating all the content of other popular characters content especially because the zionism propaganda is grossly apparent in them. i don't really want to get into the semantics.

but i do agree with your post, i thought about it the other day and it's genuinely jarring to see links for palestine introducing a fic of fucking a fictional character/s from a game that perpetuates the very violence the author is supposedly calling against, the irony is just ludicrous. but anyway, i'm sorry for ranting omg i just wanted to add that it applies for all tlou content/characters/actors not just ellie and not just the remastered even part i has zionist propo. (bella ramsey called for a ceasefire after liking several of neil's zionist posts, the actress who's playing dina in the show is also a zionist, pedro's not a zionist i think but he was silent for weeks before saying anything and is close friends w several zionists so i would'nt say calling him one is far fetched)

yes, i am aware of the symbolic parallels in the game because i followed the news about the zionism in the game since it first started coming out in january (funnily enough when tlou was coming out…) but i also don’t personally agree that it’s “disingenuous” to call out performative actions on the behalf of people who favor ellie in the game compared to other forms of propaganda in the game because im simply not talking about that. my focus in my rant was the ellie stans because of the abrupt switch up that occurred during this week compared to the past few months based on what’s been happening in palestine as well as the extent zionism influences the game—especially its creator. i was simply making a comment about what i was mostly seeing promoted in the tags, which was the hypocrisy of ellie writers and stans. i didn't think it necessary to include other parts of the larger story about how deeply ingrained zionism is in the history of the game in order to highlight how ellie writers fail to understand how to properly advocate. it just had nothing to do with my original point to be honest but you are right that other aspects of the game if not all include some inspiration from his zionistic narrative on palestine.

my whole point was drawing direct parallels to neil and his own experiences being put into the characters as i feel he sees himself as ellie, being enraged by the loss of joel and in a means to avenge his death as well as make herself feel better for the loss ultimately go out and kill the people responsible, which makes ellie have some zionistic elements to her character. i am not talking about the idf v. wlf and the battle for land because i interpret that as israel v. palestine whereas the cofmlct between ellie and abby (along with her friends) as neil v. palestinians. i got another anon like this that used similar wording and don’t know if it was you as well but i thought i made this quite clear in my original post and other ones. again, i never addressed the idf and the wlf because i never mentioned it originally as i am solely talking about characters and the writers such as ellie/ellie writers because that’s the big chunk of it.

and i am so so so SO glad you brought up the link trees being put under fics. it’s honestly like a double edged sword because on one end why the hell are there links to help give humanitarian aid to a ethnic cleanse/genocide happening in palestine under a fic of ellie strapping down reader in the bathroom of a party happening at jackson ???? it just looks absurd, out of place, and a bit disrespectful considering the juxtaposition of content cus how we going from reading smut to addressing a real issue killing thousands. but at the same time, i do acknowledge that there are people who don’t care enough as they should about these issues and rather ignore what’s going on by sticking to their regular routine instead of taking action so maybe by putting links at the end of multiple fics it will push people who didn’t care before to start engaging in free palestine content. i can see the vision but it depends on what type of fanfiction it is yk because if it were fluff i would say okay it’s appropriate but if it’s a smut… idk i see both the benefits and its problems. and yeah all the actors have been disappointing to say the least especially after bella made a palestine highlight after liking SEVERAL zionist posts just to save they own ass 😭😭😭😭😭 and i don’t think pedro is a zionist but it’s not like that matters because one of the worse things you can do is be silent which is arguably worse like it is better to say something than nothing at all. i compare it to taylor swift who refuses to mention the genocide and almost operates as if it doesn’t exist, similar to most celebs being favored in the media right now, because that makes them appear neutral and avoids the risk of losing a large amount of fans based on “political” views which is just gross.

but don’t apologize for ranting!!! i actually find what you said really interesting about how writing for ellie while opposing violence towards palestine is basically hypocritical because she is doing the same violence in the game. i didn’t ALWAYS know about the stuff with neil because tlou isn’t one of my most favorite games but i interpret you saying that based on the knowledge that we all know now which is that the game is based on a foundation of zionism. i feel like you could view the story of tlou2 (or at least by how it ended) as a story about grief and how certain actions come back to haunt you, courtesy of joel, as well as the road to redemption/making peace because after ellie goes on a rampage she does choose in the end to not kill abby which is like wow cus after everything you lost you didn’t do what you said you would due to her change in heart yk. but you can’t really separate the fact that it is based in zionism so hypothetically if the genocide happening in gaza simply wasn’t happening, would it then be okay to write/edit ellie? because the vibe you are giving is that it isn’t morally right to edit/write/etc for ellie as well as other characters who have the same elements of zionism engraved into their character (not that i am saying this view is bad, wrong, or invalid) and if that’s so i would love to hear you elaborate because that’s a whole other point of view on this whole thing.

anyways sorry for being a d1 yapper anon but you’re so so right and brought up some really good points i just had to type like i had 48 hours of free time‼️‼️

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 10

mccoy rants like an angry old man

mccoy thinks the vulcan salute is hard. loser

lets hang out with vulcans

fated return of the Bass Guitar of Narrative Tension

milf

vulcan ambassador is spocks dad :0 daddy issues here we come

does he not like spock or something

kinda weird that this is the first time weve gotten a tour of the ship in any way

spocks mom doesnt like that hes autistic

"explain the computer components" /ominous cello plays/

kirk keeps accidentally pressing the daddy issues button in spock

wait, im confused, is spock his surname or his first name? why would they call him mr spock, thats like calling mccoy dr leanord. but also why would his mom refer to him by his surname

spocks dad wanted him to go to vulcan college but he went to starfleet college instead

kirk kind of has some sexual tension with spocks mom. id entertain this if spirk wasnt so obvious

this is once again about the cold war

"youre only 102"

weird plastic pig mask

"this is not the council chamber of babel"

more goofy aliens

sarek is spocks surname?????? his first name is spock???????? this makes no sense!!!!

spock grew up with a fat teddy bear he cherished. mccoy loves this

formal wear on the enterprise is kinda dumb looking

Another Space Ship

spocks dad loves him <3

Space Ship Goes Fast

return of the stupid brandy bottle

Space Political Drama

what are delithium crystals

half of kirks job as captain is stopping pointless arguments

kirk is topless for no reason. thank you so much

kirks back in his dumb wrap shirt :T

the dude spocks dad argued with is dead, evidently from a vulcan technique of execution. obvious red herring is obvious

"vulcans do not approve of violence" YES THEY DO?????? YOU LITERALLY HAD A VIOLENT COURTSHIP RITUAL AT THE START OF THE SEASON??????? YOU ADVOCATED FOR MURDER ALL THOSE TIMES????????????

current theory is his mom did it

ok what the hell is the vulcan naming convention, spocks mom calls spocks dad sarek but shes mrs sarek and hes ambassador sarek so its clearly their surname but why would a wife call her husband her own last name that makes no sense

spocks dad has a vulcan heart attack

spock ur allowed to be worried abt ur dad its ok

spock ur looking suspiciously suspicious rn

Someone On The Ship Is Bad yeah we knew that

pretty sure spocks mom has gone through like three or four different costumes in this episode

spock has to donate A Lot of blood

Nevermind No He Doesnt

spock calls his dad sarek too. what the hell is the name sarek here

Nevermind Yes He Does Have To Donate Blood

kirk midriff spotted

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA KIRK JUST SLAMMED INTO A DUDE WITH HIS ASS

kirks shirt fully rode up his tummy for a bit there. huge fan

kirk passes out <3 night night babygirl

kirk is topless again. good

suddenly spock doesnt want to donate blood bc hes in charge now

spocks mom says Donate Blood Now spock says No Theres A Lot Going On

spocks mom commits a microaggression

spock says if i risk the ships safety to save my dad my dad surely would not approve

spock was bullied as a child :(

spocks mom just slapped him holy shit. thats not cool

kirk is awake but immobile

SPOCKS DAD IS AWAKE????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE JUST PRETENDING TO DO ALL THIS. OR DID THE ACTOR JUST OPEN HIS EYES FOR A SEC

kirk returns to duty! yay?

the way kirk smiles at spock is kinda....

oh good they didnt forget that vulcan blood is green

night night spock, blood donation time idiot

Weve Been Hit

Weve Been Hit... 2!

Weve Been Hit.... 3!!

Weve Been Hit..... 4!!!

Weve Been Hit...... 5!!!!

Weve Been Hit....... 6!!!!!

Youre Not Even A Real Alien

the enterprise plays dead

get space zapped idiot

yeah this is 100% about the cold war

i do love kirk being exasperated

spocks dad is fine now

spock loves his dad <3

spocks dad married his wife for Logical Reasons i guess

get cared for kirk. idiot.

mccoy resents being seen happy

i love u mccoy

[mortimer]

Im not ever going to post this publicly bc 1) its not very good and 2) I dont really care to expose myself to annoying angry internet pedophiles (especially since i havent been active in fandom since like, 2016-18 and as an adult i find the way that those communities frame & interact with media deeply insufferable anyway) but in uni i literally wrote a research paper on the potential irl impacts of media that doesn't handle themes like sexual assault, incest, csa, etc with tact. and that's the thing i have never once advocated for NOT exploring those things in writing or art - *i* write about those things, fairly frequently. To be frank, that's why I wrote the paper, because I actually care about the ethics of art and I give half a shit about other potential victims. Which I feel like is the absolute bare minimum for being a half decent artist/writer. I might publish the bibliography at some point if not rewrite it in its entirety bc i feel like the research i did was good even if the paper was not, but this one quote from bell hooks really stuck in my brain regarding the topic:

It's scary to me now, because, particularly in issues around erotica and sexual violence, people want to deny the direct link between representations and how we live our lives. I think that it's possible to embrace the knowledge that there's a direct link between representations and choices we make in our lives that does not make that link absolute, that does not say, "oh, if I look at a movie in which a woman is fucked to death," than I will go out and think I should let myself be fucked to death by any man who wants to fuck me. I think that's an absurd sense of a direct link, but that is not to say, that if I watched enough of those images I might not come away thinking that certain forms of unacceptable male violence in coercion in relationship to my female body are acceptable.

bell hooks, “Bell Hooks: Cultural Criticism & Transformation.” directed by Sut Jhally (1997), documentary film. (Transcript)

[ausetkmt]

The Massachusetts attorney general's office has launched an investigation into allegations of racial bias at the Boston Police Department’s youth gang unit and its associated database, according to a statement from the office released late Monday.

The probe by state Attorney General Andrea Campbell’s civil rights division will examine an alleged “pattern or practice of racially biased policing” within the Youth Violence Strike Force, the department’s gang unit, state officials said. A Boston police spokesperson says the department will cooperate with the review.

State officials saythe review will look into the task force's work since 2018 with a goal of reforming the gang unit, following calls from civil rights advocates who want the database to be abolished, citing alleged racism and a lack of transparency. It comes amidst a national review of similar units following the death of Tyre Nichols in Memphis, who was killed during a traffic stop by five members of that city's now disbanded gang unit.

"The Boston Police gang database is flawed and shouldn't be relied on to make consequential decisions about people’s lives,” said Carol Rose, the executive director of the ACLU of Massachusetts, one of several civil rights groups who sued the police department last year to make more information about the database public. “The database overwhelmingly targets Black and Hispanic young people, who have been labeled as gang members for little more than wearing popular brands or even becoming a victim of gang violence … the attorney general is right to investigate it."

A “gang” is qualified as three or more people who individually or together engage in criminal activity, frequent a specific location and share a common name or identifier, like a color or symbol, according to the Boston Police Department’s rules and procedures. Gang members are “active” if they have met the criteria to be associated with a gang, had contact with another gang member or participated in gang activity within the last five years.

Related Stories:

‘We are tired of inaction.’ A new anti-violence movement rises in Boston.

ACLU Sues Boston Police Department For Info On Police Encounters

Boston Police Target Alleged Gang Members

A summary provided by the department in response to the ACLU’s 2019 lawsuit showed that 90% of the 4,700 individuals in the gang database at that time were Black or Latino.

“Youth have been surveilled in Dorchester and Roxbury for wearing a certain kind of hat or hanging out in a certain corner of the neighborhood,” said Massachusetts Bail Fund Director Janhavi Madabushi. “There's just such a low threshold for what gets you onto a list, and whatever gets you on that list is something that justifies you being policed or surveilled for however long the unit deems necessary.”

An association with the gang database can prevent pre-trial detainees from getting access to bail for months or even years, Madabushi said.

“We're seeing an increase in dangerousness hearings, where a prosecutor and judge can determine through a random set of criteria that a person is too dangerous to be let out on cash bail,” she said. Detainees take plea deals to limit jail time in what Madabushi described as “a dangerous pattern in preventive detention … detaining of people who are supposedly innocent until proven guilty, but not this time.”

The investigation is ongoing and has not yet made any findings or conclusions. If issues are discovered, the goal is to work with the police department in reforming the unit and database, a spokesperson for Campbell said.

Madabushi says it remains unclear whether the investigation will result in “the type of victory that our community members need and want to see,” and will require the attorney general’s office to seek out directly impacted people, many of whom might be hesitant to come forward.

“I feel a little bit apprehensive to sort of rejoice before understanding how the [attorney general’s office] is going to conduct this investigation, what their considerations are,” she said. “But I hope that this surfaces what community members have been saying for a really long time.”

[mithliya]

I'm a detransitioner. I grew up in a conservative, homophobic environment with unsupervised internet access. After finding tumblr as a child, trans adults online convinced me that I was trans because I liked girls and I liked dressing like a boy.

My family cornered me one summer after I had become severely depressed, and I admitted I was trans. I was taken to a doctor, and he advocated for my transition at 13 years old. For about two years, I was on hormones. I lived my adolescence appearing as a straight teenage boy. Something wasn't quite right, though, but back then, I couldn't figure out what. Transitioning didn't solve how unhappy I was. I detransitioned, and it was one of the worst, most humiliating experiences of my life. The local trans community ostracized me, attacked me, literally all the things people talk about when they're leaving a cult. They wanted my head on a pike. The trans people I was once friends with ruined nearly every friendship I had. I suddenly had no one, and my family thought I was finally going to be a good, straight girl. I figured I might as well try to be good, somehow.

So, right after I stopped transitioning, I made a new transition. I tried to be a feminine woman for the first time in my life and even tried dating men. I had no gay community anymore. I cannot stress to you how fucking lonely I was. I would get drunk or high to simply tolerate sex with men. Every time I had a homosexual thought, I would punish myself by having sex with men, telling myself that my lesbian fantasies and revulsion to men were something to be conquered.

I ended up in an abusive relationship with a man. He even got me pregnant. Thank God I miscarried. I left him and months later, I realized all this time, I had just been a lesbian.

I will never know what I would look like, be like, sound like, had I not taken hormones as a child. I don't know if my reproductive system will ever recover from hormones and male violence. I will never know the peace of never having been with a man. I will always be haunted by what I have been through because the world hates lesbians. I've been through hell because I'm a lesbian. And I'm here, anonymously venting to you about it because I feel like there is no safe place to tell my story.

thats horrible... im so sorry u were isolated like this, from being in a homophobic environment that made you feel like you had to be a boy to like girls, to being ostracised when u realised u didnt even want to be a boy, to being pushed to pretend like u men bc of ur homophobic family. i can relate to some parts of it and im glad to hear that at least u got urself out and that u survived, i hope at least you can accept yourself as you are. there's no way to undo the past but at least you have your present & your future