#Lissie Love Blows

[lovelytsunoda]

couples costume // clement novalak

summary: halloween has always been his girlfriends favourite holiday. clem would do anything to keep her happy. anything, that is, except the couples costumes.

pairing: clement novalak x microinfluncer reader!

yourusername just posted!

liked by lissiemackintosh, yourbestfriend, clementnovalak and 2,431 others

yourusername couples costume secured. let’s blow last year out of the water! check the link in my bio for a spirit halloween promotional code <3

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user mother is mothering

clementnovalak you are so stunning

clementnovalak petition to replace the Mona Lisa with this picture of my gorgeous gorgeous girlfriend

lissiemackintosh sexyyyyyy!! do we get any hints? text me, i need to make sure marcus doesn’t accidentally pick the same thing

-> user lissie really said fuck the soft launch, my halloween pics are more important

-> user bestie we’ve all known! it’s an open secret, and I’m almost certain they just posted the hard launch?

jamesharveyblair i love how he complains like hell every year but then walks out of that hellhole with such a big fucking smile on his face

-> yourusername because he looooooves me

-> clementnovalak as long as she’s happy, I’m happy 😊

yourusername and clementnovalak just posted!!

liked by marcusarmstrong, screamingmeals, yourbestie and 2,814 others

yourusername you’ve got a friend in me

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clementnovalak save a horse ride a cowboy (or strip for your cowgirl) 🤠

-> yourusername omw to jump ur bones as we speak

-> jamesharveyblair CLEMENT NOVALAK THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS APP

-> marcusarmstrong it’s me, I’m children

user they’ve won halloween

user clem is so fucking real because I too would strip for y/n

-> clementnovalak see! she gets it!!!

yourusername happy halloween, my love

-> clementnovalak the morticia to my gomez

user please tell me that they wrote ‘Andy’ on the bottoms of their cowboy boots

-> marcusarmstrong they did. we saw it when they were making out with each other and he picked her up to go out to the balcony

user clement admitting that he puts in themed stripteases for his girlfriend was not in my bingo card-

-> yourusername he has taken it upon himself to make me feel loved and appreciated and sexy in all aspects of our relationship and he does it so well and he makes me so goddamn happy…man, I just love him so much

BONUS: TEXTS BETWEEN CLEMENT AND Y/N

TAGS

@magnummagnussen @lorarri @cartierre @clemswrld @httpiastri @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiamh @oconso @thatsdemko

[suzie-shooter]

Detroit Indycar GP :  James Blair race commentary highlights

“Dare I say - strap yourselves in, 'cause this could be a long one. This could be lengthy.”

(James at this point blissfully unaware he's about to spend the next two and a half hours in exquisite agony unable to look at his phone while knowing it's blowing up) 

They reckon the track's a little bit of a pig of a thing from chatting to a couple of the guys over there. Some have said, and I won't name names, that it's the worst track they've ever been to in their life.  

Indy500 last week, I didn't unfortunately catch it. (it's ok James we know you were getting steamed on a superyacht at the time)

A lot of discussion around a couple of things. First of which was who's the hottest Indycar driver? [...] For me though I think I have to go into the Newgarden camp, as far as just raw hotness. He also has piqued an interest in the role of the financial services sector which is attractive to me. It's a trait I look for in all my lovers.

(sticking the rest under a read more because it gets LONG)

We're going to get a replay here of Pato O'Ward making a total penis of himself at turn three in Indianapolis.

Getting replays of Newgarden with lipstick on his face and pouring milk on his head - without context that could sound like a real night out.

Fuck me, what a waste of time that monologue was. Jesus Christ.

I've already labelled [Newgarden] the hottest in the paddock. [...] What a stallion. What a total stallion. Backbone even.

There's a shot of Marcus in the background there, getting his kit off.

Little bit of insurance chat for you there.

The Canadian national anthem. Well this is a strange turn of events.

There's Marcus and Lissie. Guess it's out now. Pffft.

Ohh there's so many messages coming in *wheezes* (never has a man managed to simultaneously look so pleased with himself and so absolutely horrified 😆)

Sorry. What for? Nothing.

And then it's Marcus Armstrong P11, car number 11. Fuck he loves a P11. Fuck me he loves a P11.

Few opinions flying around. [...] I'm not saying anything sir. [...] I'm just going to get the live timing open. And we're not going to talk about that.

I can't wait to speak to [Clem]. Tough day for him.

We can ride on board Kyle Kirkwood's camera, so I can keep an eye on the arse of Marcus Armstrong. Business as usual here at Screaming Meals.

"Has he started showering because of her?" I don't believe so.

I want [the winner] to be Armstrong, he's got rapid pace, I don't know how he managed to shit the bed in Q2 yesterday the way he did.

You know that meme, right? Of Carlos Sainz - being like - shall I do the accent? Yeah, fuck it I'll do the accent - "I seriously don't know how to react right now." That's how I feel.

Pull yourself together Blair. It's going to be a long couple of hours.

Sack Monaco off. The only reason I went this year is 'cause Marcus wasn't racing at the 500. But dare I say if he is racing next year you won't catch me anywhere near Sass Cafe on Sunday night. I will be up it in Indianapolis.

Hahahaha ohhhh you will not believe who's just text me....it ain't Clem.

Flava Flav was there on Friday which was pretty cool. Flava Flav...second biggest celebrity in Detroit right now.

This is record numbers for a commentary.

Where's Armstrong? Fucking around as per usual.

Next pod - hopefully in the next couple of days.  Marcus is flying back I think tomorrow. Don't know who the guest's going to be on the next pod. We haven't really got around to arranging that yet. Sort of flying by the seat of our pants so to speak.

F for Ilott [...] he'll have an excuse, sure as death and taxes, Callum Ilott will have a reason for what happened and why it wasn't his fault. From where I'm sitting that does look like a bit of a fuck up, I hate to throw him under the bus.

Callum Ilott's car looking like it was taking a fancy to the back end of Kyle Kirkwood's car, to get little a bit National Geographic on it.

Anyone got any questions? That you think I'll actually answer? "Tell us about Monaco," I'll tell you about Monaco. "Where's Clem?" Clem is in Barcelona, drinking a lot of sangria. 

"When are you and Clem announcing together?" Pretty sure me and Clem were already pretty public, so, um, I don't know how much more social media attention that particular relationship needs.

Dream podcast guest? I'd like to get on like some real psychopath and just give them a hard time.

That's going to make things a little bit more straightforward, and I needed that this evening, because something tells me that by the time I've finished this Twitch stream, things might not be so straightforward.

[Marcus is] getting absolutely fondled verbally by the commentators here and I'm loving every second of it.

I reckon next lap he's going to be all over him, like sauce.

I'm going to be bald at the end of this race. Balder than Marcus Armstrong.

Callum looks angry. Okay, he did say it's his bad, so I'm not going to get an absolute tongue lashing from Ilott which sounds filthier than I meant it to, for saying that that one might be his fault.

Nobility and humility exemplified as per usual from Callum 'Pilot' Ilott there.

There's actually a few things in the works, with a couple of different organisations and people which should mean that the days of the lengthy gaps between Screaming Meals episodes could be numbered. And that's all I'm legally allowed to say.

Marcus is back to P11 somehow.

We'd quite like to get some Formula E guys, we'd quite like to get some more industry people. Such as, you know, for example, you know, maybe Lissie Mackintosh, she was a good industry person that we had on. Marcus really liked her actually.

Power's on fire. Not literally.

Grosjean's just taken a different piece of tarmac and he's gonna go straight to the pitlane, I'm not even sure if that's for a pitstop, I think that could just be to avoid embarrassment.

There's a lot of people watching me all of a sudden and everyone keeps talking about Max Fewtrell so I can only imagine that this is his fault, but I'm streaming off my phone so I can't actually phone him to figure out whether or not this is his fault. Okay, so Max sent all of his viewers here. Thank you Max, appreciate the gesture.

So. Yeah. I found out the week leading up to Long Beach. And Clem was with me at the time, and we were in Malibu actually, and he'd been winding me up all week about like celebrities that he'd seen and I didn't see [...] and the phone rings and we get this piece of news and I just kicked off, I said right, I've had enough of both of you trying to wind me up with these stupid false celebrity stories, just - shut up, like - talk about something else -  good try but you're not getting me that easy. And then the longer the silence went on, the longer I - the worse I thought the joke was getting. And then it went on further and I realised it wasn't a joke. And - all - all is well in the world of Screaming Meals. It's all good, it's all good. But it has been a funny few months. That's all you're getting. Watch the viewer number plummet.

Gearbox issue [for Pato] by the looks of it. Oh no! Anyway.

Armstrong's done Malukas, good job [...] so Armstrong to P12. Right in between his two favourite positions. I'm staying way away from that one.

An open diff which again sounds quite dirty.

He'll be saying get the fuck out of the way inside his lid. No, he probably won't be, he's pretty chilled behind the wheel actually, Marcus. Before and after the race he's an absolute misery to be around, but during the race he's usually actually pretty calm.

The two Marcuses of Chip Ganassi Racing, or Marci as they should be known in correct Latin [...] I think that can be a thing, Marci? The two Marci? Does sound a little bit like some sort of disease though, no? You decide in the chat, is Marci is the plural of Marcus? I mean they've got to come up with some sort of solution at Chip Ganassi Racing. I guess they probably call them like normal Marcus and like Marcus Armstrong. Or maybe shower-Marcus and non-shower-Marcus. Or underwear-Marcus and non-underwear-Marcus, I mean the options are limitless.

Pato O'Ward searching around the car for somebody else to blame.

What does twitter look like? Is it a complete nightmare or is it somewhat civilised? I don't even know why I asked [...] 'twitter is mad' - oh no! [...] 'all good - for Lissie' - oh god [...] hey look I need to know how my Monday looks tomorrow people. Jeepers creepers.

Armstrong got drilled by Newgarden.

Here's O'Ward - whose fault was it this time?

Apparently tumblr's lost it [...] it's been a long time since I've had a tumblr account.

Somebody's just said I have full permission to pick their next tattoo. Um. Here's what I was thinking of getting - and I don't have any tattoos and I don't want any tattoos - but I was thinking if I did get one I'd get one like here [his forearm] to try and be a fake Love Islander. And I'd either get something that is really important to me or something that is completely stupid like for example, 'I'll have the tuna carpaccio'...would be something that's really meaningful to me.

So we're an hour and forty into this stream and I've not had the opportunity to check my phone - let's keep this in mind - once since it started. I feel like a plane that was also in the air in 9/11 and you've just got no idea the horrors that await you when you land.

Screaming Meals merch - it's imminent but it's not this week, put it that way.

It looks like Herta's going to have a tough time with that front wing going forward, it's already flapping around like nobody's business, like a big dick in a locker room.

Little bit of rubbing - bit rude [...] just a little bit of a love rub from Rossi up the inside of Rosenqvist.

If [Grosjean] does get a penalty it's another spot for Armstrong so if you ask me he's guilty as sin, but I'm not exactly sure what the crime was.

'We' being Marcus Armstrong, if you hadn't pieced that one together, because it's a collective, it's a team effort, and I like to take credit that I'm probably not entitled to.

Ilott's bull really did try to mount his cow there.

Come on Armstrong, pull your finger out of your arse.

Marcus apparently taking some credit for some things that I said. Situation normal.

[RLL] were actually looking like one of our options at one point last year. But we got Ganassi...and we're very happy, we love Ganassi here at Screaming Meals.

Graham Rahal's going to want to just go back to his hotel room, order a Pizza Hut and just about all of the hotel room porn that the TV has to offer.

Marcus has done fucking well to avoid that one, because he's swung round the corner at full tit and he's had to really stick the arse out a bit and get it round him.

Dixon says he's got speed, apparently. Sounds like a good night out.

Matt...somebody very popular called Matt has just joined the...oh Matt! G'day Matt Gallagher, how you going mate?

Come on Armstrong, just get on the button [...] and he's been caught napping a bit on the restart, you useless prick.

666 viewers...

Armstrong or Dixon - don't you make me answer that question. Nah, not answering that one. I don't know if I can. I couldn't answer it if I wanted to.

Does Kirkwood still have to pit or is he good? I don't know. James are you okay? I don't know.

And now we're having to fend off Ericsson - just put him in the wall Marcus, we can't afford to give up P7 now.

And it's going to be Armstrong with a best equal result of P8 in the NTT Data Indycar series and um - yeah. I wonder what the rest of his day's going to look like...

[rivetgoth]

I got tagged by @lysistra to do that “your URL as songs” thingy. I did it before back in 2022 and I still stand by the songs I chose then, you can check out the last one here, but I decided to redo it with the small challenge of not repeating any songs from the last time! :D

R — Rodent by Skinny Puppy. Saw this song live 4 times last year, then it came on at a damn coffee shop while I was out with Angel and Lissy recently and we all lost our minds. Loooove it.

I — It’s Over by Choir Boy. One of the first concerts I went to this year was Choir Boy. I really really love them, their whole dreamy nostalgic atmosphere is done so perfectly, consistently totally enamored by them.

V — Valium by The Tear Garden. No brainer choice, this is like already a song of the year for me. I’ve been obsessed since January, it’s everything to me atm.

E — EUPHORIA by HEALTH. Definitely another big song for me so far. I just saw HEALTH live and they killed it, but as much as their darker heavier stuff is great I’ve really been digging their occasional brighter synth tracks.

T — The Final Blows by Lead Into Gold. Never gonna shut up about this album. I saw this song live 5 times last year. Makes me lose my fucking mind every single time.

G — Get Down by Revolting Cocks. This is the first song I ever got fucked with the strap to :) Good memories, hottest song ever written, need I say more, etc.

O — Oh, Cruel Darkness Embrace Me by IAMX. I fucking adore Metanoia, it’s definitely an all time favorite album. Been coming back to this one a lot, it’s just so good. 

T — The Bladders of a One Thousand Bedouin by Severed Heads. This is one of the songs that convinced me to do that “instrumental industrial” playlist awhile back. I love this whole damn album but omfg… This is song in particular is just so sounds.

H — Hunger Cries by High Functioning Flesh. Song that makes me lose my fucking mind every single time I hear it. One time I was on acid and got stuck listening to this on repeat while standing naked in the corner of my bedroom and it was like. Transcendent.

I tag @blackchantilly @otisbdriftwood @captainspaulding @twoheaddeddog @surgicalpen1sklinik @baltowolfquest (trying not to tag anyone who Angel already tagged to not be annoying lol!) (and only if you want of course!)

[it-happened-one-fic]

500 Followers Playlist Starter Pack: The Genshin Impact Version!

Thank you so much!!! As I said in the Twisted Wonderland version of this post, I'm afraid I don't have time to do a full event (Christmas and all that jazz) but I did want to say thank you to everyone. Since I have a habit of listening to music while writing, I used few songs (I aimed for four each but didn't always make it) from my playlists to form sort of a starter pack under the cut! Again, thank you so much!!!

(NOTE: The links go to Youtube. Songs only for characters I have written [though the fic may not yet be posted]!)

Twisted Wonderland Playlist Starter Pack

Venti:

Tubthumping - Chumbawamba (cursing)

Fly Away - TheFatRat & Anjulie

Scalliwag - Gaelic Storm

Run - Jasmine Thompson

Kaeya:

Honey Whiskey - Nothing But Thieves

Skeletons - Dihaj

Night Moves - Lissie

Break The Ice - Britney Spears

Diluc:

Going Crazy - Goo Goo Dolls (cursing)

Natural - Imagine Dragons

I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin

Life After You - Daughtry

Zhongli:

Centuries - Fall Out Boy

House of Memories - Panic At the Disco

Pompeii - Bastille

Yours Forever (Reprise) - Phillipa Soo & Conrad Ricamora (From Over The Moon film)

Xiao:

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross

Sound the Bugle - Bryan Adams (From Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron film)

All The King’s Horses - Karmina

My Demons - Starset

Baizhu:

Icarus - Bastille

Cure For Me - AURORA

Die For You - The Weeknd

Kamisato Ayato:

Feeling Good - Michael Buble

Million Dollar Baby - Ava Max

The Greatest - Sia

Arataki Itto:

All Star - Smash Mouth

I Like it, I Love it - Tim McGraw

Let’s Get it Started - Black Eyed Peas

Good Time - Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen

Thoma

Safe and Sound - Capital Cities

Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Our Song - Taylor Swift

Fallin For You - Colbie Caillat

Kazuha:

I’m Like a Bird - Nelly Furtado

North Star - Tyler Shaw

Butterfly - SMiLE.dk

Mind Over Matter - Young the Giant

Heizou:

Sherlock (CLUE + NOTE) - SHINee

I Think We’re Alone Now - Tiffany 

Troublemaker - Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) 

Alhaitham:

Blow Your Mind (Mwah) - Dua Lipa

(This Ain’t) No Thinkin Thing - Trace Adkins

DJ Gimi-O Habibi Albanian Remix (Slowed and Reverb) - Ricky Rich 

4 Minutes - Madonna, Justin Timberlake, & Timbaland

Kaveh:

Treat Her Like a Lady - The Temptations

There Was Sun - Nothing But Thieves

Let’s Stay Together - Al Green

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

Cyno:

Never Give Up - Sia

Arabian Nights - Will Smith (Disney Aladdin 2019)

Desert Rose - Sting & Cheb Mami

Whenever, Wherever  - Shakira

Wanderer:

How Far We’ve Come - Matchbox Twenty

17 Crimes - AFI

Please, Don’t Leave me - P!nk

Don’t You (Forget About Me) - Simple Minds

Neuvillette:

Love Story - Indila

Don’t Turn Around - Ace of Base

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

Wriothesley:

Bones - Imagine Dragons 

Warriors - Imagine Dragons

Daydream - The Aces

Animal - Neon Trees

Il Dottore;

Black Sea - Natasha Blume

The Wolf - SIAMES

Everything Black - UNLIKE PLUTO & Mike Taylor

One Hell of a Team - AmaLee & Divide Music

Childe:

Rasputin - Boney M.

Irresistible - Fall Out Boy

Don’t Blame Me - Taylor Swift

Hold Me Like a Grudge - Fall Out Boy

Dainsleif:

You and I - PVRIS

Never Really Over - Katy Perry

Die For You - Starset

Willow - Jasmine Thompson

[sneasedtomeetyou]

It's my love, my light, my Lissie's birthday today so if you don't treat him so nice and special I'm blowing this whole building up or however it goes.

[boba-beom]

DING DING DING! congrats! you are correct!

it's one way for me to socialize with you guys because of

(1) how fast you guys are speaking in discord (ngl i kinda feel left out a lot of times) especially with me waking up to find 200-1000 comments that i have to mute the group chat worrying about my phone battery

(2) how i live on the other side of the world so i can't to you guys as much without losing sleep.

other than that, i hope you learn more about me.

also, me only using youtube and tumblr as my social media platforms is because of the bad relationship i had with others social media platforms. i don't use tiktok at all because of the oversaturation and seeing people around me obsessing about tiktok challenges that it turns me off from joining. i also quit instagram because i use to compare myself with others, even with my friend circle. i also have other social medias like snapchat, facebook, and others i couldn't think about but deleted it because i don't use them anymore, while i used to be active on kpop stan twt before the toxicity comes to me but i still own it because it relates to the monthly minecraft event that i watched lmao. so i delete social media to detox myself and delete myself form the internet as best as i could so that people could only find me based on my internet persona.

i am back on instagram but purely so that i could open a portfolio page for the gfx designs i made for my hellsite fics and others...

do you have any leftover questions you want me to answer???

p.s. hope you're having fun with the cloudbusting fic you're planning. ngl i didn't think you'll be doing it for real hehe

-🐝

WHOOP I knew my inkling was right! it wouldn't leave me :>

I understand and I'm sorry about that :< I know the group chat blows up so much and time zones are difficult but we do love having you there when you come on! <3

I have definitely learnt a lot about you , considering we have a google spread with all the hits you gave us collectively hehe I get where you're coming from in terms of social media and I think if that's what helps and is better for you then it that's good, you know? I had a social media detox at one point too with only tumblr being my only social but I've been alright everywhere, I just usually dip after I go on it. sometimes social media isn't for everything so I understand!

no question actually, but I just wanna say that you answering your own anon ask threw me off because that was the only thing that held me back from not suspecting you hehe it was fun nonetheless!

I just can't believe that I was super late to catch on that bee is in beabadoobee T^T things came to pretty late because I was busy with family, friends and packing the past week but literally the other night I managed to give myself time to search, link and piece together these things :> it was fun honestly, really pieced these things at 2AM hehe

OMG so I watched palm springs and it's interesting, I just don't know if I would make a long fic based on the movie, a short scenario from the movie (like when the song comes on, but idk how I would write about that without writing a long fic) or I'll just listen to the song and figure out what scenario to write about, but from listening to it a few times it does sound dreamy. still just gonna think of a scenario :> I'll figure it out ^^

thanks again lissie it was fun getting to interact with you this way! just know that you're very much loved in the gc! and in general, you're amazing and so are your works, it's an acquired taste <3

[writingmochi]

Beep! Beep!

It is very different than the others!

Oh my god! Dont know how you do it like that. Wowww that must be exciting to see live! It’s always good to enjoy your time without pictures and videos.

Tinnitus and farewell Neverland are such good songs. I’m glad you got the chance to see them live! Was there any part of the performance you enjoyed in particular?

I’m happy to hear that you are resting before school starts for you again. I hope things aren’t too stressful for you!

Racecar indeed! Good job

Next:

What do you call a little bear who never takes a bath?

🏎️

lissie: hehehe me likey then! blow my mind then somehow you bring it right back~ *queue me dancing to the dance like yeonjun do*

if you think about it, it is better to enjoy the moment than to archive everything. but, idk if it is just me or not but, i think because we record everything most of the time, the way our memories and brain recalling work is decreasing in a way?? it’s just not as sharp as it use to be and i also feel it. i just felt more forgetful when i record a video of an event and struggled to recall the event back in memory. and the more i think about it, the more black mirror-y it feels because of how reliant ppl are on their phone to remember something…

other than that, it is definitely exciting! i can remember me and this one other fan was talking on the way to the encore as i was slightly fuming that farewell, neverland hasn’t been played yet when i see the tree tent prop they use for the stage and i spoke like “I SEE TREE?!” and the person beside me laugh and we laugh so hard. those are the small memories that you couldn’t record tbh :D

ooh i also love that they perf a few of my fav songs of theirs that they didn’t perform in act:lovesick (can’t we just leave the monster, dear sputnik, no rules, our summer) so we love a rotational set list. another little episode of my second embarrassment is that i freaking forgot to bring my batteries for my moabong lmao

thanks! it’s been a good holiday for me but i just don’t feel as productive as i thought i was before the holidays. but i think me resting much help deplete me to not burn out easily next semester >.<

oh gosh i don’t know that !! agh i’m gonna guess “dirty bear” like “teddy bear”???? that doesn’t make any sense but ehhhh i don’t anymore

[annies-dollies]

Doll 4: Pleasant Company Samantha

I got her the same day I got Display Felicity and at the same antique store. Like I’d said in my previous post about Felicity, I did choose Lissie first and then chose Sam. So Sam is next in our lineup.

Based on the opinion of expert Samantha collectors, the estimated year range she was likely produced is about 1995-1997 or maybe it was ‘98 I can’t fully recall the exact range but it’s somewhere around there I guess.

Samantha is a comfortable character since hers was the first AG book I ever read, but I am no expert when it comes to the dolls themselves with their many differences depending on when they were produced and how wildly they vary (seriously it’s mind blowing) so I personally don’t know a lot.

She came without her meet accessories but with her meet book. She also had her complete meet outfit (shoes, tights, underwear oddly enough, her meet dress, and the matching hair ribbon) though she is currently wearing her lacy whites because I just love the details of this set and I was excited when I bought them for what felt like a good price on the internet.

Doll 1: Henri

This is my first doll, he was an early edition Felicity (with the soft ginger lashes) but I’d gotten the doll second hand and the original owner had cut the hair when she was a child.

This doll was gifted to me when I was either 13 or 14 and this old friend went everywhere with me. Now, I’ve cut the hair further to a more masculine hairstyle and decided he was a boy.

He looks like me at a glance but mostly cause all redheads are deemed to look alike and I’m obviously related to every redhead on earth, so yeah I look just like him /s

But in all seriousness, being my first doll and looking similar to me, he is a mini me. But he isn’t to be the only one hopefully. He is a reflection of the vintage enthusiast part of me. I collect and restore vintage clothes at times and he wears mini versions of the vintage clothes I own.

He’s the first doll I ever operated on. I had to restring his legs only like 80 times. I had to mend a hole on his torso side opposite of the tag side. I also had to sew one of his leg sockets back in place as it had started to detach from the fabric of the torso.

He’s also the first doll I ever gave a tiny plastic heart. I started this when I first got him, after the first repair. So he’s got a red plastic heart shoved down into the cotton inside his torso that’s been there since I was a child when I first put it there.

This tradition continues and now every doll who passes into my ownership gets a little plastic heart. I thought it to be a cute little idea.

[themusicenthusiast]

Single Review: “Love Blows” by Lissie

The title behind what is Lissie’s final promotional single in advance of Castles (due for release on March 23rd via Lionboy Records) says it all. “Love Blows”. At the same time, the latest single from Castles goes so much deeper than what the title suggests. The most blatant sentiment is that, yeah, love blows, the whole thing of having feelings for another person being so brutal, grueling and taxing. “Love Blows” transcends those basic emotions that can stem from pain caused by the object of one’s affection, though, exploring the real reasons why a broken heart is so painful. “I look around and all I see are the reminders of a dream that died. A sort of suicide, a love denied, a life incomplete…” Lissie begins, the track focusing on what could have been and how tortures it is to dwell on how different life may have been if things had worked out differently. Going even further, it examines the insecurities that can haunt people, how, thanks to perpetuated stereotypes, some can feel inferior to others when it comes to looks and thus inadequate.

Those are two vastly different but equally compelling perspectives, “Love Blows’” specialty being how well it conveys this duality. For example, on one hand the track deals with pining over and desperately wanting a person, yet it simultaneously comes across as being a big F U to the entire concept of love. Having been hurt so badly that you’re over it and don’t want to think about it. At times Lissie portrays herself as being vulnerable and open, while at other portions her strength and resolve is unquestionable; such contrasts being the defining aspect of the track. An intriguing blend of modern pop components with some indie rock flare and a full-on singer/songwriter persona, it’s obvious that “Love Blows” is something special. The subtle pop elements come in the form of the programming that works in the background, being crucial to the overall sound, but never diluting the final product. The beat is rather monotone, though the way it and the other instruments coalesce results in something that is quite organic and so rich and vivid. And through it all Lissie’s stunning voice shines, guiding it through the highs and lows. While it doesn’t test her limits as a vocalist, it does demand a ton of emotion, which the songstress delivers in spades. She sounds defeated and broken, just empty in the aftermath of a breakup. The way she utters “…But I'm just gonna say it, what everybody knows: love blows,” sounds rather matter-of-factly, like a harsh truth that is being grappled with. Yet her voice is still teeming with passion and energy. “Love Blows” is certainly something special, a well-crafted song that is magnified thanks to all the fine nuances that can be found in it, brilliantly accenting the track and allowing it to reach its full, grand potential. It’s something different from the previous tracks released from Castles, hopefully meaning that the record will have a lot to offer sonically speaking with Lissie covering a lot of ground. Fans will be able to find out if that is true soon. Pre-order Castles on: iTunes | Google Play | Amazon MP3 Visit Lissie’s websites: Official Website | Facebook | Twitter | Youtube Current Shows: 2018 March 23--HMV Instore--London, United Kingdom 24--Banquet All Saints Church--London, United Kingdom 25--Resident Instore--Brighton, United Kingdom 26--Pie & Vinyl--Southsea, United Kingdom 27--HMV Instore--Manchester, United Kingdom 29--The Leadmill--Sheffield, United Kingdom 30--The Horn--St Albans, United Kingdom April 6--Oran Mor--Glasgow, United Kingdom 8—Gorilla—Manchester, United Kingdom 9--Village Underground--London, United Kingdom 10—Omeara--London, United Kingdom 12—BITTERZOET--Amsterdam, Netherlands 13--Studio 672--Cologne, Germany 14—Privatclub--Berlin, Germany 16—Nochtspeicher--Hamburg, Germany 18--Bar Brooklyn--Stockholm, Sweden 19—Røverstaden--Oslo, Norway 21—Grieghall--Bergen, Norway 23--Bogen F--Zurich, Switzerland 25--Big Four Lawn, Waterfront Park--Louisville, KY May 2--Teragram Ballroom--Los Angeles, CA 3--The Independent--San Francisco, CA 6--Doug Fir Lounge--Portland, OR 7--The Crocodile--Seattle, WA 8—Imperial--Vancouver, Canada 16—Adelaide--Toronto, Canada 17--The Ark--Ann Arbor, MI 18—SPACE--Chicago, IL 20--Mr. Smalls Theatre--Millvale, PA 22--The Sinclair--Cambridge, MA 23--Bowery Ballroom--New York, NY 25--World Cafe Live--Philadelphia, PA 26--9:30 Club--Washington, DC June 2--Laura's Legacy--Rock Island, IL 5--Dallas Arboretum & Botanical Garden--Dallas, TX 7--Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival--Manchester, TN 9--Rjukan Rock Festival--Rjukan, Norway July 13--Cornbury Music Festival--Greens Norton, United Kingdom 16--The Watering Hole--Perranporth, United Kingdom August 4--Tjuvholmen Arena--Hamar, Norway

[pinkcupboardwitch]

Rome… And Me.

A playlist for when you love your husband, but also your husband’s boyfriend whose love language is murder, and he loves you.

(link)

I. Opening:

Earth - Hans Zimmer (instrumental)

9 Crimes - Damien Rice

It’s a small crime

And I’ve got no excuse

And is that all right?

Yeah.

II. Livia:

My Skin - Natalie Merchant

Oh, I need the darkness, the sweetness

The sadness, the weakness

Don’t You Give Up On Me - Lissie

You are the moon, I feel your weight

You tug at the ocean, you help it change

And you keep on reminding me of a darkness only I can see

Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives

Do you ever think of me and my two hands

And wonder why they never soothed your fevers

And wonder why they never tied your shoes

And wonder why they never held you gently

And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?

Please Don’t Say You Love Me - Gabrielle Aplin

Just please don't say you love me,

Cause I might not say it back,

Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping

When you look at me like that

Devil’s Spoke - Laura Marling

But I am your keeper

And I hold your face away from light

Hotel Song - Regina Spektor

I have dreams of orca whales and owls

But I wake up in fear

You will never be my….

You will never be my fool

Darkness Descends - Laura Marling

Convinced that I am going mad

Oh, I bury my head into his hands

So sure that I'm losing faith

Fuel to Fire - Agnes Obel

All that I say to you

Is like fuel to fire

Into the town we go, into your hideaway

Love Be Brave - Laura Marling

Something strange takes over me

I am brave and love is sweet

And silence speaks for him and me

III. Marcus:

NFWMB - Hozier

Nothing fucks with my baby

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

Call Me Lover - Sam Fender

You know I'll be down here waiting

I'll take you to see your man

When you are done, we'll go driving

Catch the coast in the evening light

I’ll Keep You Safe - Sleeping At Last

You'll be an architect,

So pull up your sleeves

And build a new silhouette

In the skylines up ahead.

I Found - Amber Run

I'll use you as a focal point

So I don't lose sight of what I want

And I've moved further than I thought I could

But I missed you more than I thought I would

Glory - Dermott Kennedy

A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She’s everything the devil can’t be

When she’s singing to me, “Glory”

If There’s A Rocket Tie Me To It - Snow Patrol

A pulse, your pulse

It's the only thing I can remember

I break, you don't

I was always set to self-destruct though

Mausoleum - Rafferty

They took my guns and horse and swords for history

But they kindly left a photograph of you and me

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

I resolved to call her up

A thousand times a day

And ask her if she'll marry me

Some old-fashioned way

Queen Bee - Johnny Flynn

But my breast is lit with flames to shun

The dying of the light

Oh blow the wind and come the rain and take my heart again

IV. Closing:

Poison and Wine - The Civil Wars

I don’t have a choice, but I still choose you

I don’t love you, but I always will

I always will.

For The Love Of A Princess - James Horner (Instrumental)

-

“Agrippa loves Rome...and me.” // “Always. Always.”

[c-is-writing]

hiiiiiii kk can i request "you are my new pillow" with nat pls <33

pairing: natasha romanoff x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 620

warnings: none unless you count the reader having allergies 

a/n: ahhhh hello lissie!! ty for requesting :DD <33

send me a pairing and a prompt from here!! (closed)

Spring; it’s everyone’s favorite season because it’s finally sunny once more after the long and cold winter months. For you, though, it’s your least favorite season. Why? One word: allergies. As much as you enjoy and relish the lovely sunshine illuminating your bedroom, you despise not being able to see or breathe well the moment you crack open a window and that’s exactly what led to your current bed-ridden state. Upon waking up that morning, you found out that Tony opened up a few windows due to an accident or two in his lab that involved a lot of fumes and chemicals. While you couldn’t really blame him, you were also annoyed because you had plans to spend the day with Natasha baking.

Sighing, you reach over to grab a tissue on your nightstand to blow your nose for the millionth time that afternoon. At this point, your nose was red from the constant blowing and your eyes were equally red from the itchiness and mildly puffiness. After throwing away the tissue in the trash can Natasha kindly placed next to the bed, you groan in exasperation. A few light knocks on your door snag your attention as Natasha carefully shuffles in holding two mugs of tea and a bottle of Benadryl. She makes her way over to you and clears the tissues off of the nightstand, making room for the mugs and medicine. Sitting down next to you, the red head gently cups your cheek and hums in concern. You instinctively lean into her touch, making her smile.

“How are you holding up, moya lyubov?”

“Terribly, my nose is so stuffed, it’s like someone shoved pillows into them and my eyes are so itchy and watery, I can’t do anything about it.”

At your frustrated tone, she furrows her brows and begins to stroke your cheek as she says, “Well, I made you some tea with ginger and honey so hopefully that can make your nose feel better. I also brought some Benadryl so you can just rest up, too.”

At her words, your heart melts at how kind and caring your girlfriend is. Weakly smiling at her, you put your arms out, signaling that you want to sit up. She understands your gesture and hoists you up, placing a pillow behind you to keep your body upright. Before you know it, a mug of tea appears in front of you as Natasha holds another in her other hand. As you reach for it, you thank her and breathe in the steam coming from the drink. While you’re still pretty congested by the time you empty the mug and take some of the Benadryl, you definitely feel a lot better now that you have Natasha by your side. 

The medication begins to take effect as you start to feel drowsy and nearly fall asleep sitting up. Natasha smiles as she watches you try to fight off the sleep to continue the conversation with her. Gently pulling you towards her, she helps readjust your positioning so that you’re laying down comfortably. In your sleepy state, you whine and call out for your girlfriend.

“Nattyyyy, I’m ready for cuddles.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming, don’t worry.”

Sliding into bed next to you, Natasha opens up her arms, inviting you into her embrace. Quickly moving into them, you make yourself comfortable against her chest. As your blinks get longer and your breathing begins to slow, Natasha rubs your back and asks, “Are you comfortable down there?”

Nodding, you respond tiredly, “Mhmm, you’re so comfy, Nat. I think you’re my new pillow now.”

Softly laughing at your comment, she settles on placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

taglist (all): @teenwonder @procrastinatingsapphictrash @owloftheshadows

taglist (marvel):  @imnotasuperhero @peggycarter-steverogers @natasharomanoffswife @nat-romanoffdanvers @aaron-despair @melancholymaz

taglist (natasha romanoff): @mxxnmocha

[theartoflovingthomashunt]

Feel Better

[All Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer Masterlists] [Baby Hunt]

Pairing: Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer (F!OC) Other Characters: Felicity (F!OC), Vincent (M!OC), Bogart (OC!dog) Book: Red Carpet Diaries Word Count/Rating: ~750 ; Fluff, comfort/care Prompts: ​@choicesjanuarychallenge2022 : sick; @wackydrabbles 131 (in bold)

Synopsis: Thomas is feeling under the weather and his family is there to help make things better.

"I don't get sick."

"The thermometer seems to say otherwise."

Alex held up the digital thermometer reading 102.2 for him to see.

"You know how I feel about technology." His voice was hoarse as he attempted to stand his ground. "It can never be trusted."

"And yet, the thermometer is still right this time." Alex held the device to her forehead, taking her reading, before returning it to him once more. "You have a fever, my love."

"I don't get sick," he repeated, his frustration showing.

"I don't think it's a choice." Her brow rose as a thought occurred. "To be honest, I'm actually surprised it's taken this long."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We both love the twins, but they're practically germ magnets right now. Touching and licking—" Alex cringed. "—everything right now."

"I suspect that is Bogart's doing."

"Or, they're just kids. Regardless...all I'm saying is I've caught a couple of bugs from them. You've lucked out, but I think your luck has finally run out."

"I feel fine," he insisted feebly, trying to prop himself up and get out of bed.

"Uh-huh!" Alex gently pushed him, and he collapsed back into the pillows behind him, unable to fight it.

"I have work to do."

"You need rest. Work will wait. It's why you have an assistant and an assistant director. They can handle things today. Promise! You need rest."

"They're not me."

"They're competent enough, or you wouldn't have hired them."

"Mama?" Vincent's cry faltered. He stood at the door to his parent's room. "I don't feel so good."

"I know, baby. Come here."

He teetered toward the bed, followed closely behind by his sister and Bogart.

"I've got you." Alex carefully picked up the two toddlers, the large bed barely moving under their weight.

Bogart stood guard at the edge of the bed, carefully watching his two charges.

"You two are supposed to be in bed still."

Vincent coughed, his nose running down into his mouth. "My head hurt."

"I know. Let's get you cleaned up first." Alex reached for a tissue and gently wiped her son's nose. "Blow."

The young boy did as directed, then curled into his mom's lap. "Sleep here."

Her fingers drifted tenderly through his dark locks. "Looks like you and daddy both caught Felicity's flu."

"Daddy sick?" The little girl's lip quivered, and her eyes welled. "I sowwy."

"I'm fine, sweetie," Thomas insisted, brushing a strand of his daughter's chocolate hair away from her face. "Mommy just thinks I'm sick."

Alex's brow rose challengingly, earning her a soft smile.

Felicity crawled into his chest. "I don't want to get you sick."

"I know, Lissy. I'm okay. Don't worry." He brushed a kiss on the crown of her head.

"Here—" She lifted the small stuffed rabbit she had been carrying to him. "She makes me feel better. She make you feel better too."

Alex chewed her lower lip, watching in awe, as her son sniffled quietly, trying to find rest in her lap.

Thomas's mouth opened but closed before words could sound. He held the toy in his hands, treasuring the gesture and the pure, innocent affection filling his daughter's. "Thank you. I know she will help."

Felicity nodded proudly and settled back into her father's arms. "I stay with you like you stay with me." Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms snuggly around her father. "—make you feel better."

Alex reached for a blanket and draped it over her children as they rested with their parents. She shifted herself and Vincent closer to Thomas, laying her head on his shoulder. "Did you ever think we could be so lucky?"

"To be sick?"

"Ha, you admit it!" She cheered quietly in victory. "But, no. Just to love and be loved like this."

He glanced down at their children sprawled on top of them. Even though he hated missing work and not being able to work, he wouldn't trade them for the entire world. "I didn't, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Me either. Our world is perfect, sickness and all."

"I love you," he whispered, his eyes closing under the weight of his fatigue, his body no longer able to fight it.

"I love you, too." Alex kept watch over her family as the three pieces of her heart rested. "I love you too." Her attention shifted to the loyal black lab and his protective gaze. "Such a good boy. We'll protect them together, okay?" she whispered. "Come on." She tapped the bed softly, and he bounced up, taking up position at their feet, his focus still on the twins.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little fluff. I love this family so much; they mean the world to me. I appreciate your support! 💖

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

Tags in a reblog, please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

[nikkywrites]

soulmate loss prompt

Prompt: “How are they?” -- “The same as before.” He looked up at the woman approaching him. “Their soulmate died, my Lady. They may never make a full recovery.”

*****

Lissy dies when they’re in the middle of a strategy meeting. They’re focused, desperate, because they know that somewhere within their troops (she hadn’t told them where, probably so they couldn’t pull them back) was their love, their life.

Their soulmate.

They’re pushing a figure representing a troop forwards when it happens.

Pain lights in their midsection, hot and furious like someone had placed the sun in their gut. They’re screaming, clawing at themselves as sensation washes away to black.

In the last moment before they fade, they know Lissy is dead.

‘’ ‘’ ‘’

It still aches when they wake again, but duller, empty. A fistful of the night sky after the sun’s implosion gripped within them.

Like a black hole sucking away every little piece and leaving nothing behind, not even empty air.

They don’t notice when their eyes open or that there’s someone sitting at their bedside. Everything is hollow, color sanded away to something grayer, lighter, shallow. They see without processing, and without that, they don’t see anything at all.

It’s all meaningless anyways. Lissy was dead.

“Per?” Their mother speaks softly, hopeful, squeezing her hand over her child’s that they don’t feel.

The effects of a lost soulmate on the other half is largely varied. Some retain their minds enough to slide through the rest of their lives, robotically. Some never step a foot from their bed.

Some lose senses — touch, smell, hearing, sight — or they’re ridden into overdrive, the smell of their other’s cologne heavy in every second, their hand constantly laced in theirs, their hair always shimmering under the sun. Some feel the death with excruciating pain, worse than anything physical, and others feel nothing. Everything falls away in a second to leave them in a horrifying, empty shell.

Per (a shortened version of their name, they don’t go by the full thing anymore) can tell the moment their mother realizes they’re not going to respond. It feels like a weaker second of the moment they realized the truth about Lissy, vision fading out and pain twisting in their body.

They don’t feel the pain now.

“Oh.” Their mother whimpers, hand fluttering to her mouth to physically hold back her sobs.

The sound of their mother’s cry sparks something in Per’s chest, heavy and uncomfortable. She knows, now, that they’re one of the ones who take it hard.

Really, it shouldn’t come as any surprise.

They’d absolutely adored Lissy.

But the shock of learning that her child must live without their soulmate when they were so young — that was a hard blow. She hadn’t even lost her husband yet, both going strong.

Per thinks how Lissy’s death is their fault. If they’d done more to stop her, insisted on knowing which squadron they were enlisted into — maybe she’d be okay.

That’s what they’d like to think at least. In truth, they hadn’t fought her very hard when she told them.

But, than again, they always did have a weakness for her tears. It was something she had to do. Why, they would never understand, but they understood that if they made her stay, it would break her. They didn’t want to be the reason she broke.

Vaguely, distantly, they can feel the physician prodding at them, doing what they can and trying to obey their regent’s order. Fix them. Do whatever you can, they’re your ruler.

It’s some time later — a few seconds, days, they don’t know, time has lost its meaning — when their mother returns, this time with their father at her side.

“How are they?” Their mother inquires, voice light and shaking, fearful of what she already knows.

“The same as before.” The physician looks up at them wearily, apologetic, as she approaches with her arm wrapped toghtly in her husband’s. “Their soulmate died, My Lady. They may never make a full recovery.”

Their mother breaks, turning to find refuge in her soulmate, something Per will never be able to do again, a fact that only breaks her more because she doesn’t know how she would cope without the steadiness of her husband at her side.

“Is there nothing to be done?” Their father rumbles, deep voice rolling through the room like thunder.

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, my Lord,” he bows slightly, wondering if he was using the wrong terms now. They were leaders again. “But any more recovering is up to our young leader.”

Per, with the little cognitive thought they still hold, wonder how they’re supposed to recover from this.

They don’t.

[daisylore-au]

..... Okay so I just got back from rewatching Quackity's Minecraft Shopping Cart video (one of my new favorites honestly), and all I can think about is Dream in the exact same scenario with Daisy and the other kids. One single father attempts to find lava while the kids he's carrying around in the cart make a diss track about how him

YEAHHHHH I LOVED THIS VIDEO SO MUCH !!! this was such a funny video holy shit, i had to write a little something based off this for ya sun !! :D

warnings: none !

“Please,” Dream whines, “you’re all so loud today.”

Not to mention, he thinks his back might be breaking, which is probably actually a worrying sign, considering he doesn’t have a physical back anymore. Pushing a shopping cart uphill is a lot harder than it looks, especially with six squirming children inside and the other four draped off his shoulders and legs. Prime, when did all the lava get so far away?

Daisy laughs boisterously, sat high up on his shoulders, and playfully covers his eyes with her hands. For a second, the darkness is terrifying, until he realises he can still hear the children’s laughter and there’s still daylight and he’s not alone. He’s not.

“Go faster,” someone - Angel - calls, giggling, and who is Dream to refuse? He groans, pushing harder at the cart and breaking out into a half run, making half the kids whoop and the ones clinging on for dear life on his legs and arms scream in half fear, half delight.

“Dream is cracked!” Michael cheers, and there’s a general chorus of whoops and delighted claps, and Dream thinks that maybe, if he hadn’t felt like he was about to drop dead (metaphorically), it would have been worth it.

And, also, if Helga hadn’t currently been coming up with a song about him as they walked.

“Dreammmm Minecraft!” She sings, ignoring Dream’s grumble of that’s not even my name, Helga. “Dream Minecraft runs so slow, Dream Minecraft- what rhymes with slow?” 

There’s a mutter among the group, all of them consulting each other. Dream prays for a sliver of sanity left between them by the end of this journey. 

“Go,” Emmeline says, bored, “No, though, toe, blow, mow, sew-”

“SEW!” Helga latches on enthusiatically. “Dream Minecraft can’t even sew!” She turns to the group, lifting one hand like a conductor, and Dream prepares for the worst. “Okay, okay, everyone repeat after me!”

Dream winces at the cacophony of voices, some of them far more enthusiastic than others, lapsing into a stumbling version of Helga’s song. Daisy’s voice is loud in his ear, and Michael, sitting the closest, grins up at him mischievously.

“Can you sew?” He asks, and Dream pouts.

“Of course I can sew. The lyrics are lying. I’m not even slow either.”

“To be fair,” James says, “you are kind of slow.”

Dream’s eyes gain a glint. “Oh, everyone thinks I’m slow?” He challenges. Only Darian, suddenly seeming very wary of the change in his tone, disagrees - the other kids laugh and jeer, all of their faces bright with laughter and hilarity. “Alright. Okay. I’ll show you slow.”

 Because he’s been a lot of things over the years, but slow has never been one of them. So, with a wild laugh that’s more free than he’s sounded in years, Dream rushes down the hill with the cart, heading straight for a little pond of water.

Daisy sees what’s going to happen first, and shrieks. “EVERYONE EVACUATE!” She yells, and there’s pandemonium. Most of the kids end up in the water, while some - an eagle eyed Lissie and Daisy and Michael - manage to avoid it entirely. Dream winces at the feeling of water burning, melting his skin, but he’s not submerged, only lying in the grass beside the water, laughing despite the discomfort and pain, and the kids are piling over one another, all of them shrieking with laughter and giggles.

“Never call me slow again,” Dream says teasingly, when he catches his laughter and wipes his eyes, “or I’ll run away with the cart and leave you all to walk back yourselves.”

“You wouldn’t,” James gasps, looking offended, “we’d be so sad.”

Dream lets his head flop back, tired but still grinning. Yeah. James is right. He wouldn’t.

“...Dream Minecraft is a toe,” Helga amends her lyric, and Dream reconsiders his previous stance, “Dream Minecraft is-- Let me go!!”

Dream swings her into the air with a smirk, leaving Helga shrieking in breathless excitement and the rest laughing. 

“Let’s throw her into the lake again,” he grins, and the kids cheer.

[raith-way]

💿 Grace!

Grace has the best playlist because it’s all over the place. Picking just five was not an easy task, but here we go!! Thank you for the ask!!

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

listen to the wind blow / watch the sun rise / running in the shadows / damn your love, damn your lies

Nothing Else Matters by Lissie

i never opened myself this way / life is ours, we live it our way / all these words, i don't just say / and nothing else matters

Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron

how long, baby, have i been away? / oh, it feels like ages, though you say it's only days / there ain't language for the things i’ve seen / and the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams

Out Of The Darkness by Matthew And The Atlas

in my last defense you tried to warn me / i did not know you, you were a demon to me / your presence here was a fear that lived inside me / that grew around me then you would appear

Ashes by Celine Dion

‘cause i’ve been shaking / i’ve been bending backwards till i’m broke / watching all these dreams go up in smoke

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch 24: Kintsugi

Chapter Summary: Fliss has a final show down with her ex-John…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Very light smut…NSFW and NO UNDER 18s!!!

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: So this one drained me, but I have to say I think it’s my favourite piece that I’ve ever written. As always, thanks to @icanfeelastormbrewing​ for readin this and making sure it hit the spot”

Chapter Song:  Die A Happy Man by Thomas Rhett (PLEASE give this one a listen, as it absolutely 100% summarises how Frank feels towards Fliss…I can’t put it into words any better!)

Series Masterlist //  Main Masterlist 

If I never get to see the Northern Lights, or if I never get to see the Eiffel tower at night, oh if all I got his your hand in my hand, baby I could die a happy man.

Fliss stared at her ex-husband as she continued to reverse, until her back hit the side of the kitchen unit.

“No hello?” John asked, cocking his head to one side.

“How did you…” Fliss took a deep breath “How did you know I was here?” “Guess” John said with a shrug as he looked around the kitchen, his cold grey eyes scanning the wooden units, matching counter tops and stainless steel appliances. He wrinkled his nose, the décor clearly not to his taste, before he turned back to Fliss. “It’s not that hard to figure out really, Sugar…” Fliss swallowed as she stared at him, pondering whether or not screaming for Evelyn was the right thing to do. If she did so she alerted him to the fact that someone else was in the house, and risked riling him. He always hated it when she screamed. If she kept him talking, kept him calm, then Evelyn had to come downstairs at some point…surely…

Or at least she hoped.

She licked her lips and looked at John, giving him a shrug “How could you know I was back in the area?” “I didn’t…” he said, “Not until this afternoon anyway…” And then the penny dropped. And Fliss felt like such a fucking idiot.

“Richard…” she let out a breath, cursing herself for not even considering the fact that his brother could have been in the hospital.

“Clever girl…” John smiled “Turns out Orthopaedic Surgeons are in short supply…he was doing some Locum work and spotted you…”

“That still doesn’t explain how you got this address.” “I didn’t. I followed you.” “You…you followed me?” Fliss frowned “So you were what? Watching me at the hospital?” “Watching the main door but…yeah…” Fliss shook her head, a soft huff escaping her “You that desperate to see me John? Seriously…” “Watch your mouth…” he said, sternly “You know I don’t like it when you take an attitude, Felicity.”

“You didn’t like anything full stop.” Fliss said, looking at him. “When I had an attitude, when I didn’t…” “I won’t tell you again…” John stepped forward. “Last warning Felicity…”

Fliss swallowed, she was scared, there was no denying that. But as she stared back at John’s face, she realised that something was different. It felt like a different fear. She was afraid of being hurt, yes, but she wasn’t afraid of John. It was strange, almost liberating in a way to know that, despite the fact she understood she was in a precarious position, the man in front of her held no power over her now.

She was free, free from his mental abuse, free from his hold. Because she had a new life, a new home, both with Frank and Mary. And a new love, a real love, a love that was gentle and nurturing and…fucking normal.

All John could do now was hurt her, physically, and if he gave her a beating…so fucking what?

She’d heal…just like she had before, but this time the only healing she’d need would be physical…because her soul and her mind had already mended. She was whole again, and no matter what he did or said John wouldn’t break her that way again.

She tipped her chin up to look at him, defiantly, and she saw the anger flick across his face. He hated it when she made eye contact with him like this, he saw it as challenging his authority.

Well that was exactly what she was fucking doing.

“You have no tight to be here John.” she said, her voice calm and firm. “You’ll be back inside tomorrow…do yourself a favour and go home before your ankle bracelet sends a trip to say you’ve broken your curfew.” John’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he looked at Fliss, before he gave a snort.

“I know full well what’s at stake.” he shrugged “I go back inside, serve the rest of my sentence…be out in another 2 years…I’ll track you down again.” “Course you will.” Fliss said, shrugging “And then what? You come kick the shit out of me? And go to jail again? It’ll be a never ending circle John, and for what?” At that John’s hand raised and he back handed her straight across the face. It was enough to knock her side ways and she stumbled slightly, before she steadied herself and raised her hand to her right cheek where the blow had landed. Taking a look around she realised he’d inadvertently knocked her towards the door that led to the lounge. If she could just make it in there, she had a chance…a chance of out running him…maybe.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” he snarled and her attention flicked back to him as he strode towards her. “You’re mine…you always will be…” “No I’m not.” she spat, glaring at him, standing her ground. “I don’t belong to anyone…” “Not even Frank?” John looked at her and she shook her head.

“I love Frank, I don’t belong to him, there’s a difference.” she shook her head “I’m not a fucking possession, I’m his girlfriend…”

“You’re my Felicity…” John’s voice was gathering in pitch and volume, the way it always did when he was annoyed but Fliss felt nothing but anger in response at that fact that he still thought he had any claim to her whatsoever.

“I’m Frank’s Lissy…” she shot back “YOU’RE MY WIFE!” John roared. “NOT ANY MORE!” Fliss screamed in retaliation “You were the worst mistake of my life!” John’s hand flew out and he gripped her chin, painfully, forcing her to look at him.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that.” he looked at her, shaking his head, his dark grey eyes flashing with rage.

“I’ll speak to you how I want…” Fliss said, as his left hand tightened its grip on her face before his right grabbed her wrist painfully and he twisted the joint sharply, an action she knew was designed to break it. As always, he stopped short of the point where he knew he would snap the bone and he looked at her curiously, as she stood stock still, not a whimper of pain nor a word of pleading or begging for him to stop slipped through from her lips. Instead she looked at him, and smiled.

“You can break every bone in my body and it won’t matter” she looked at him “Because you already broke me, in a way I never thought possible, you made me feel I was worth nothing. But you’re wrong. I’m worth everything!” “And I suppose Frank tells you that?” John said, his hand twisting a little more.

“Yes he does.” she said simply “But more importantly, he makes me feel it. Because he loves me with everything he has. He’s gentle, kind, warm…and that makes him ten times the man you’ll ever be.”

She knew that would rile him, and as she watched his face contorted into a snarl. The hand that was gripping her wrist let go and moved to the side ready to strike again, but Fliss lashed out with her foot and kicked him as hard as she could in the shin. John, having severely underestimated exactly how different Fliss now was, hadn’t been expecting that. She’d never hit back before. His hand released her wrist and Fliss turned on the spot and ran for the door. However, he was quicker and she felt him grab hold of her hair, and at that point she started to scream.

She screamed and screamed as she kicked out behind her, and with a sharp tug she was yanked backwards. John turned them both, sending her flying back into the kitchen where she stumbled and her head connected with the corner of the wooden unit. With a pop she felt the skin split on her temple and the warm flow of blood as it trickled down her face. Dazed, she began to push herself up, scrambling forward but John was there again, his hand once more fisting in her hair as he pulled her to her feet.

“You little bitch!” she snarled, his hands closing around her neck as he pushed her up against the wall, “I’ll fucking kill you…” With that be began to squeeze her neck, the fury etched into every line of his face. Still fighting, Fliss hit out with everything she had, her hands connecting with his face, chest, shoulders, but the fact was he was simply too strong. As his grip tightened further, a silence started to wash over her, almost like she was floating, a sense she had felt once before when he had almost drowned her in the bath. But unlike then, she had something to fight for, something to live for. Or more specifically someone. She gripped at his fingers with her own, attempting to prise them off her throat but to no avail. So, instead she raised her knee, but the lack of oxygen was making her weak and John simply sneered, forcing his knees in between her legs, effectively rendering them useless.

The white spots started to float in front of her vision, and her mind flicked to Frank and Mary…before she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. She allowed her lids shut and she clung to the image of her Sailor, of their little blonde-haired Short Stack…because she was damned if John’s face was going to be the last thing she ever saw.

But suddenly the pressure was gone and her throat opened again.  Her legs buckled and she slumped to the floor coughing and spluttering as she took a huge, painful gasp of air. She continued to breathe deeply, her lungs felt like they were on fire, and then a pair of gentle hands softly came to rest on her cheeks.

“Fliss…” Evelyn spoke, looking at her, “It’s ok…you’re ok…” Fliss coughed some more, Evelyn smoothing her hair back, speaking softly to her and as Fliss began to focus, her hand flew to her painful neck whilst her eyes fixed on the floor behind Evelyn.  John lay face down, unmoving, fragments of shattered glass all over the floor, glistening in the soft kitchen lights. Fliss tried to speak, to ask Evelyn what had happened but her words wouldn’t form and the woman gently shook her head.

“Shhh” she soothed gently “Just breathe…” “Police…” Fliss managed to croak and Evelyn nodded.

“Already on their way.” she said, “I called them as soon as I heard the screaming…” The tears then began to sting Fliss’ eyes and Evelyn gently wrapped her arms around her as she shook, staring down at John on the floor. Fliss gave an involuntary gasp as she saw the crimson liquid billowing around his head like some kind of macabre halo.  Evelyn turned to look at him and gave a  tut.

“That’s not blood, more’s the pity…it’s Malbec…and a damned good one too. What a waste.” Evelyn sighed as Fliss looked at her, before both their eyes darted to John as he stirred a little on the floor.

“Can you stand?” Evelyn said and Fliss nodded. Together they both rose, Evelyn keeping hold of Fliss as she was a little shaky, led her down the hallway where she grabbed two jackets from the coat stand along with a set of keys and led her outside, locking the door behind them. She sat Fliss down on the step and gently draped a jacket over her shoulder, before she pulled one on over the towelled robe she was wearing and sat next to her, not saying a word.

Before long the sounds of sirens filled their ears and Fliss glanced up to see a number of flashing lights in the distance. A police car zoomed up the drive and skidded to a halt just in front of where they sat. Evelyn gave Fliss’ shoulder a squeeze as she stood up to greet the officers and spoke to them both before one of them nodded and walked to Fliss, crouching down in front of her.

“Ma’am?” his voice was quiet and kind. Fliss looked at him and he gave her a soft smile “You wanna sit in the car whilst we go inside?” “Yeah…” Fliss nodded. The officer helped her to her feet and walked her slowly down the steps, sitting her in the back of the car before he straightened up and spoke into his radio, before he looked at his colleague who gave him a nod. Evelyn said something and they followed her up the steps to the door which she unlocked and then moved back to allow the two men to step inside.

The rest of what happened was pretty much a blur to Fliss. She was aware of an ambulance arriving, and a paramedic checking her over, declaring that her neck would be sore for a while, as would her face…but Fliss knew that from various previous experiences of his beatings. However, the gash on her temple needed attention, or sutures to be specific. Evelyn assured the paramedic that she would have Fliss taken to the hospital to avoid them having to call another ambulance, and satisfied with that, the paramedic covered the wound temporarily and then headed into the house to where her colleague was attending to John.

The police spoke again to Fliss, this time asking her questions, and she explained what had happened. She told them how John had found her, how he had gotten into the house, how he had attacked her. The two officers were satisfied it was a pretty clear cut case of self-defence, especially as they had enough history on John as it was. He’d also broken his curfew too, which meant there was an instant warrant for his arrest even without this incident.

Eventually they wheeled John out of the house, he was moving and groaning slightly. Fliss followed him with her eyes before she heard Evelyn’s indignant voice hit her ears.

“Stay in the area in case you need to speak to me again? My son’s girlfriend has just been attacked, my granddaughter is currently in hospital recovering from an operation, where the hell do you think I’m going to go? Cape Fucking Verde for a holiday?”

Fliss turned to look at Evelyn, a small smile flickered across her face as the woman was glaring at the police officer, who was looking a little abashed at her fury.

“I know I’m not going to be winning any Mother of the Year prizes any time soon but give me some bloody credit…”  Evelyn shook her head before as she glanced at Fliss and her face softened a little before she looked back at the police officer “Now, I’m going to go back into my house, get dressed and then how about you make yourself useful and drop us at the hospital so I don’t have to call my driver?” *******

Frank was dozing in the chair when the door to Mary’s room opened. He looked up, blinking and frowned as he saw his Mother. She was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a large, oversized knitted sweater.

“What…” he began to say but she jerked her head, gesturing for him to step outside the room. With a glance at Mary who was sleeping, he stood up and headed into the corridor.

“There’s been an incident…” Evelyn spoke.

“Incident, what do you mean?” he asked, before he realised she was on her own “Where’s Lissy?” “She’s downstairs…” Evelyn said, her voice calm.

“Downstairs?” Frank’s brow furrowed as his throat went dry “What the fuck is going on?” “Her ex-husband…” Evelyn said and Frank felt his chest constrict “He followed her home, got into the house…”

Frank let out a loud yell, and Evelyn softly touched his arm “She’s ok, Frank, just a few bruises…”

“I’ll fucking kill him…” Frank snarled and Evelyn shook her head.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” she said simply “You’ll end up inside yourself!” “It’ll be worth it…” “No, it won’t.” Evelyn said simply “The police have him. But if it makes you feel any better I gave him a good whack on the back of the head with a wine bottle…” Frank blinked, and he looked at his mother for a second, before his brain kicked in again.

“I need to see her…” “Yes, I know.” she said “I’ll stay with Mary, you go. She’s down on the ER…” “Ok…thanks…” He said, and without so much as a glance back he sprinted off towards the stairs, deciding not to wait for the elevator. He took the steps 2 at a time, ignoring the curious and occasionally annoyed glances he got from people he either dodged round or bumped into.

He burst out of the stairwell onto the ward and stopped, glancing around for someone to point him in the right direction when he did a double take as he saw a stretcher being wheeled in his direction, which was accompanied by a police officer and a security guard. He paused, and as it neared him he recognised the man on it instantly from the photo’s he had seen and felt the blood beginning to pound in his ears. Frank stood, stock still, chest heaving, fists clenching by his side as it came closer and then he got the first proper up-close look at the man who’d made his girl’s life hell. The group paused by the elevator opposite him and he watched as John looked round. When he spotted Frank his face fell into a look of recognition.

“Ah, here he is…” John said, “The boyfriend…” How he knew who he was, Frank didn’t give a shit. His eyes locked onto John's steel grey ones, the sneer on the man's face grew wider, goading, taunting him as he continued to speak, making various comments about Fliss, and Frank made towards the gurney, his striding matching his mood, murderous. He was going to kill the bastard, rip him limb from limb. But, as he crossed the linoleum floor, his Mother’s voice flickered in his head and then for some reason the warning she had departed less than 5 minutes earlier morphed into something Bill had said to him once as they had been sat outside with a beer… "He's a master manipulator, Frank. Anything anyone gave him could and would find a way to use it, and that's the only thing that stopped me beating him within an inch of his life that evening, the fact that it might have jeopardised the case against him." He stopped dead in the middle of the corridor. As it stood, John was fucked. He had breached his parole in countless ways and there was a fresh assault charge too. He was going back inside and he knew that, so he was trying to goad Frank into doing something stupid, something that would put him behind bars too, leaving Fliss broken. Because that's what this was about. Breaking Fliss. Frank knew that John would have realised by now that he couldn't break her in the way he once could. The card and calls would have proven that, which is why he sent the photo of Mary and why he was goading Frank. He was going for the one area in which he knows she has a weakness. Her Achilles heel...the people she loves.

“What you stopping for?” John practically yelled as a police officer told him to shut up. “You know she told me before how gentle you are with her…we all know how rough she likes it at times…” Frank's chest heaved as John's taunts about Fliss continued to ring in his ears. As some further crude remark about her bedroom antics hit his consciousness Frank clenched his fist, simply trying to think of something to say, something that left the cunt in no uncertain terms as to why exactly he wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, and be goaded into kicking 7 bells of shit out of him... And then he suddenly why should he? If he gave the bastard the satisfaction of realising that the very thing Frank wanted to do he couldn't then he was letting John gain a victory. A small one, but a victory none the less... And Frank was giving him fuck all, well, almost fuck all. Because there was one thing he could do that would show the bastard the utter level of contempt he deserved.

In a flash Frank lunged forward, and as the officer by John's bed stepped into his path, Frank leaned round him, snapped his head back, and spat right in John's face.

There was a moment’s pause before John yelled out, jerking the hand that wasn't cuffed to the bed to his face, screaming every name under the sun at Frank who took a step back as the police officer sternly gave him a warning. "You're an irrelevant sack of shit." Frank snarled, looking at John, before he backed away completely, hands up in surrender to the officer who was pushing him back. "That the best you got?" John yelled, "what about the promise you made to my brother, about killing me if I came near your family or her?" At that Frank let out a bark of a laugh "I never said I'd kill you, just put you in hospital...but looks like my mother beat me to it. How does that feel, huh, ass hole? Being put in here by a 65 year old woman?" Another growl of rage and this time the police officer turned to Frank "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave...I'm assuming you're Miss Gallagher's partner?" Shit...Fliss... he needed to be with her. She was far more important. He nodded to the officer "I'm going..." and the man gave him a curt nod as he turned to leave. "How does it feel...to know Felicity will never be over me?" John's voice continued to follow him as he walked. "That she's so broken and ruined? She ran from Boston even when I wasn't there anymore, what does that tell you, huh?” Oh now that really was pathetic! A desperate, final shot and Frank barked out a laugh as he turned around, folding his arms.

"Kintsugi." He said simply "Ever heard of it? It's an ancient Japanese art form. Broken ceramics, things like that are fixed with a glue laced with powdered gold. The repaired item is different, but no less beautiful than it was before, often even more so in some eyes." Frank shrugged with a smile "And that's Fliss. Is she the same person she was before she met you? Probably not…but I tell you something I will love the person she is now for a lifetime." John's face slipped, and in that moment Frank knew he had won. He had refused to give John any semblance of control and he couldn't help the satisfied smirk that spread across his face. "But you are right about one thing." Frank added "She did run. And she ran to South Pass, where I met her...so for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart." John sat still for a moment before he jerked up and began to try and get off the gurney, screaming threats of murder and whatever else he could conjure. Frank smirked as the police officers all piled in to restrain John, and he took one last look before he turned and strode away. Beating John on a cerebral level might not have given Frank the physical relief of kicking the crap out of him, but he knew that his words would stick with him much longer than a few broken bones and that was far more satisfying.

Frank eventually stopped a Nurse who kindly directed him to where he could find Fliss and he strode onto the ward where he headed towards the minor treatment room at the back. He yanked the door open and saw a Doctor was gently examining her temple which now sported a cut and a few stitches. But that wasn’t what got to Frank, it was the finger shaped bruises that covered her neck which made his breath hitch and he looked at Fliss as her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, baby girl…” he stuttered out and crossed the room. The doctor tactfully stepped away and Frank dropped onto the bed next to her as he pulled her to him and she buried her face into his neck as he pressed a kiss to the top of the head. He looked at the Doctor who gave him a small nod before he left the room, closing the door. Frank couldn’t think of anything to say, nor did he actually trust his voice at this moment so he simply held her close, his face pressed into her hair. Eventually he felt her pull back slightly, and he glanced down at her, taking her face in her hands.

“Let me see you…” he said gently, his eyes scanning the injuries he hadn’t already noticed and saw that her right eye was slightly swollen, and there was an angry red mark on her cheek which was going to bruise. She raised her right hand to gently place her hand over his and he saw the angry marks around her wrist too.

“I’m so sorry….” Frank looked at her, his eyes filling with tears.

“Hey…” Fliss said softly, her voice was raspy as her hands cupped his cheeks “This is not your fault.”

Frank shook his head, closing his eyes as Fliss gently placed a soft kiss to his lips.

“I fought back” she said, pulling away to look at him “Something I would never have had the courage to do if it hadn’t been for you. The last year we’ve spent together, you taught me I was worth so much more, and knowing that today…well, I wasn’t the same meek old little lamb he used to knock about.” “The lamb became a lion, huh?” Frank smiled, brushing her hair back.

“Something like that.” Fliss shrugged “And he’s going back in side. The Police reckon he’ll serve the original 2 years he had left and be looking at another couple for Assault, violation of his probation terms, breaking his curfew…” “With a bit of luck someone will kill him when he’s inside.” Frank spat and Fliss arched her eyebrow. “Sorry…” he said as she smiled, and shook her head.

“I love you.”  he said again after a moment’s pause, his forehead pressing against hers “I don’t ever want to be without you. Ever.”

“You won’t be.” she looked at him “I promise.”

Frank smiled again, giving her a soft kiss before he pulled her back into her arms and she sighed, the tension in her shoulders, melting away at his embrace.

It wasn’t too long before the doctor came back and stated that, provided Fliss had someone at home, he was happy to discharge her. Frank assured him that she wouldn’t be alone and so, with care sheet that Fliss really didn’t need they both made their way back up to Mary’s room…well, that is after Frank made Fliss face up to the one call she didn’t want to make…

Bill was absolutely raging when he found out what was happening, so much so Fliss couldn’t deal with speaking to him so she passed the phone to Frank who had thankfully found his calm head at this point. After he spoke to Fliss’ dad, he managed to convince him not to hop on the next available flight, instead told them to come tomorrow when Mary had been discharged and things had calmed down a little. He knew it was slightly hypocritical, given the way he had hot footed immediately to Boston to be with Mary, but Fliss had begged him to put them off for at least a night as she was talked out after being interviewed by the police and wanted to rest. With a final gruff goodbye, Bill hung up and Frank curled his arm round Fliss as they walked towards Mary’s room.

They had been back in there for about 5 minutes when the Ward Sister appeared and at first was rather shitty with Frank at the fact Mary’s room was sporting 2 additional visitors out of bounds, until she spotted Fliss’ injuries. Her demeanour softened slightly but she was still insistent that Fliss and Evelyn needed to leave, but did allow them to wait in the room instead of the main reception until their car arrived.

Frank didn’t want his girl out of his sight, he wanted nothing more than to hold her all night long, humming songs into her ear the way he often did when they were huddled together, making her laugh as he changed the lyrics to various songs to include her name, his, Mary’s, Thor’s, Fred’s Cap’s, Heidi’s…or whoever else came to mind. He wanted her safe in his arms, wanted to be there when she woke up, but he knew she needed a good rest and even if she could stay, she wouldn’t get that on a camp bed. So, when the time came he reluctantly released her from where she had been sat on his lap and after she gently dropped a kiss on Mary’s head, the girl having slept through all of this, he followed them out into the corridor.

Evelyn turned to Frank but before she could speak he swept her into a hug and pressed his face into her hair, placing a soft kiss to the crown of her head.

“Thank you.” he said softly, before he released her. Evelyn stepped back, tears in her eyes as she gave him a small smile then turned to the elevator, leaving him to say goodnight to Fliss.

“Get some rest…and if you need me for anything, if you can’t sleep…whatever, call me ok?” he asked, his large hands gently cupping her face. “I love you.” “I love you too.” she said softly as his lips met hers in a soft but lingering kiss. He pressed his forehead to hers, their noses gently bumping against one another before she smiled and stepped away “I’ll see you tomorrow.

He held her hand for as long as he could, her fingers gently slipping out of his until eventually her hand was free and she turned and headed after Evelyn. He stood watching until they were in the elevator, giving them both one last wave before he turned back into the room. Once in there he cast a look at Mary before he slumped down on the chair he’d been in, the weariness seeping into every bone in his body as he bent forward, arms resting on his knees, face buried into his hands and he began to cry.

**** Frank climbed out of the car and lifted Mary onto his hip as he followed his Mother and Fliss into the cool hallway and he set Mary down and looked around his once childhood home. It looked, smelt, felt the same. He could almost see Diane sliding down the banister, him catching her at the bottom until their stepfather found them and threatened to flay them both alive if he caught them doing it again for fear of them breaking their necks. He could remember playing basketball on the large drive after Walter put a hoop up for him over the garage, the long nights of homework in the study, essays his mother made him re-write over when they weren’t good enough, always groaning when he was told it was time to practice his piano…he doubted he could even remember a single scale now, what a waste of time and money…

“Why don’t you go get some sleep.” Fliss looked at him, and her voice once again made him want to cry. It was so soft and croaky, but the doctor had said it might take a week or so for her vocal chords to recover. Another reminder of what the fucker had done to her. “I’ll wake you in a few hours when it’s time to go get Mum and Dad.” “You’re in your old room.” Evelyn said gently

Frank nodded and turned to Mary. “Don’t be running around like a lunatic, you heard what the doctor said.” Mary looked at him, her hands on her hips “I’m not stupid.” “Jury’s out.” he teased and she glared at him.

“We’ll watch some TV.” Fliss assured him, her hand rubbing at his back.

“Was kinda hoping you’d come lay with me.” he said softy.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Evelyn nodded, “Me and Mary can occupy ourselves.” “Oh, can we do some of those equations…” Frank glared at Evelyn, who held her hands up “I haven’t once made her do maths…” “They were in a book I found.” Mary looked at Frank. “They look really interesting…” “Frank…” Fliss soothed “If she wants to do Math, what harm is it gonna do? She’s gonna be missing a few weeks of school.” “Fine.” he sighed “But…oh,I dunno, just…” He trailed off shaking his head, he was too beat to argue anymore. He turned and headed up the stairs without another word.

“Is he mad at me?” Mary asked, her eyes wide.

“No, honey of course not.” Fliss shook her head, her hand cupping Mary’s cheek “He’s just tired, it’s been a long few days…” “Are you feeling ok now? Frank told me you got attacked but I wasn’t supposed to ask you, but I wanted to…”

“I’m fine.” Fliss assured her. “Just bruised…nowhere near as much recovery to do as you.”

Satisfied Mary nodded and Evelyn told her to go and sit on the sofa and Fliss headed upstairs. Frank was already in the shower by the time she got into the room so she kicked off her trainers and flicked on the TV, absentmindedly watching the news channel that filled the screen. She took a deep breath, her eyes flicking to the closed door of the en-suite. She knew Frank was hurting, beating himself up about both her and Mary, and there was nothing to do other than let him sleep for a while and hopefully wake with a clear head.

Her mind began to wander back over the last 12 months and everything they’d been through. From nearly not actually getting together thanks to his little Friday night fuck with Bonnie, to that day she had bared her soul, told him everything. With a fond smile she remembered how he’d held her that night, the way he’d tenderly washed her in the shower when she was too broken to do anything herself…and then an idea came to her. Maybe she could show him some of that strength he always provided her.

She stripped off, adjusted her pony tail so her hair was piled up on her head, out of the way, and walked into the en-suite, casting a look as Frank was in the large cubicle, his head bowed, water beating down on him. His head turned to look at her and he gave her a questioning look as she stepped in next to him.

“Lissy?” he asked, and she gently took his hands, lacing her fingers into his before she stood on her tiptoes to give him a soft kiss.

“Turn round.” she said softly.

He did as he was told, his back to her and she gently slid her hands up his back and began to work at his shoulders which were ever so tense. With a soft sigh he relaxed into her touch, her thumbs working at the stiff muscles along the blades and his neck. He rolled his head from side to side, and stayed still, hissing slightly as she hit a particularly bad spot but then told her not to stop as she eased off. It was bliss. Eventually he felt her touch lighten before she instructed him to stay where he was, reaching round for the shampoo that was hooked on the shelves at the side. She began to massage his scalp, her nails scratching at his skin and he gave a soft moan tipping his head back. When she was done he turned, rinsing off and then glancing down he gave Fliss a soft smile as he dipped his head and kissed her softly.

“Feeling better?” she asked and he smiled, nodding.

“Should be me doing that for you.” he said softly, and she shook her head.

“Frank, I’m fine.”

“I didn’t mean to be so crabby.” he sighed, and she shrugged.

“You’re tired.” she said, reaching behind him to turn the water off. “Tell me honestly, how much sleep did you get?”

“3, maybe 3 and a half hours” he sighed as she stepped out of the cubicle and wrapped herself in a robe, handing him a towel. He quickly dried himself off, wrapped it around his waist and followed her into the bed room. Fliss picked up her phone and smiled.

“Mum and Dad are at the airport already.” she said, “They’ll be here in about 5 hours…which means you can get some sleep.” Frank nodded before he pulled the towel away, slipped on a pair of clean boxers and then roughly rubbed at his hair. Fliss laughed softly as he emerged, his dark brown strands stuck up everywhere and she moved over, smoothing them down with her hands. Once they were finished they both slipped under the duvet and she gestured so that Frank could lay his head on her chest. She softly placed a kiss to his forehead, her fingers running through his hair.

Less than 10 minutes later, he was out for the count.

He slept for a good 3 hours and when he woke he felt a lot better. Things slid into perspective a little. Yes, John had hurt Fliss, but she was ok, and he was out of their lives. Yes, Mary had been taken ill, but the operation on the whole had been small all things considering and in a week or so post a final check-up she should be cleared to fly home. Alan had messaged him telling him not to worry about work, so he knew he could stay with Mary here until the time was right, and his mother wasn’t irritating him half as much as he thought she would. In fact, she was being positively maternal, making him a sandwich and a coffee, fussing over him as he sat at the table in the kitchen,. Another time it might have freaked him out but not now. He knew something had shifted over the last 48 hours and so he wasn’t going to dwell on it, he was going to simply let it roll. Whilst she was playing ball, so would he.

Frank declined Evelyn’s offer of sending a driver for Bill and Verity, because he knew Fliss would want to be there in person, and as did he. So at just after 3 and an argument with Mary about the fact she was absolutely not going with them on account of her needing to recover, to which she had replied some smart arsed remark about Fliss also being hurt, which his mother had simply stepped in and uttered a line he had heard so many times growing up ‘you do as we say, not as we do…” she stropped off to the living room, seething and that had allowed them to slip out, borrowing his mother’s Mercedes SUV for the trip.

It wasn’t a long drive through to Logan, and they chatted away as they headed over into the city, Fliss smiling and telling him how much she was looking forward to New York, that is if Mary was ok enough to go. Frank had assured her she would be, the recovery time wasn’t that long and knew full well Mary would have a tantrum to end all tantrums if he stated it was a no-go. Besides, he himself had big plans for that trip. There was no way in hell they were missing it.

They parked up, strode through to the arrivals and bought themselves a coffee, settling down to wait and it was about half an hour later Fliss’s eyes flicked to a spot over his shoulder and she gave a huge grin. She pushed her chair back and jogged across the lounge, throwing herself at her father.

“Oh, Titch…” Bill mumbled into her hair, his voice cracking as she wrapped her arms round him and Verity joined them, the 3 of them embracing. Frank hung back a little, until Verity waved him over and he walked over, giving V a hug before he shook Bill’s hand, the man pulling him into a huge embrace. He didn’t miss the angry look on Bill’s face as he took in Fliss’ injuries, nor the tears in Verity’s but neither of them said anything about it. As they all moved to head to the exit, Frank offered to take their case, but Bill declined.

“Not quite over the hill yet Frank.” he teased and Frank laughed.

“I wouldn’t dream of suggesting so.” he grinned as they made their way over towards the car.

“How’s Mary?” Verity asked, as Frank opened the trunk to allow Bill to toss his bag in.

“Still a pain in the ass.” Frank said, and Verity scoffed.

“You leave my little Pudding alone.” she said.

“She had a tantrum.” Fliss grinned “Frank made her stay home to rest. She didn’t appreciate being left behind.” “Clearly desperate to see me.” Bill said simply, as Fliss told him to get into the front passenger seat. “Everyone knows I’m her favourite.” “That’s because you ruin her.” Frank said simply. Bill shrugged, a smirk on his face.

“Isn’t that what Granddads do?” he asked. Frank smiled, and looked at him as Bill’s smirk grew wider and Frank sighed.

“What did you bring her?”

“Nothing…” he protested, “Well, except a new pair of Tigger Pyjamas and a few books…” Frank rolled his eyes “Like I said, ruined.”

The drive home was pleasant. Frank took the long way round so that Bill and Verity who, despite Fliss having lived here for some time, had never spent long in the city because of John, could see the sights. They made arrangements to have a day out, Fliss gushing about the shops she could visit to buy some stuff for New York, Frank smiling at her in the rear-view mirror, before he glanced at Bill, the man’s jovial nature seemed to be ebbing away with each mile they drove.

Once they arrived back home, Fliss led Verity up the steps to the house whilst Frank hung back with Bill, heading to the trunk. As soon as the women were inside, Bill rounded on him.

“What the fuck happened?” he said, his eyes searching Frank’s “How did he find her? Why was she alone?”

Frank took a deep breath and explained all about Richard tipping him off, how he had followed her, how she wasn’t alone but his mother was upstairs, how she’d stupidly not closed the door properly, how Fliss had fought him back, but he’d still overpowered her until his Mother had smashed a bottle over his head. He didn’t miss the pained expression that crossed Bill’s face as the large man simply shook his head a growl erupting from his throat.

“I’m so sorry Bill.” Frank hung his head, and at that Bill’s eyes turned to see the man in front of him, looking down at his feet.

“Sorry?” Bill frowned “What the hell are you sorry for?” “I wasn’t there…I should have kept her safe…” “You weren’t there because your little girl was in hospital.” Bill said, looking at him. “Frank, you couldn’t have been in two places at once…” “She wouldn’t have been in Boston if it wasn’t for me…I should have made her stay home…” “Right, you listen to me…” Bill said, his hand gripping Frank’s shoulder. “Look at me Frank.” Frank turned his head up to look at Bill, who stared straight back.

“You DO NOT blame yourself, Son.” Bill shook his head. “You hear me? Christ knows I tortured myself for long enough about keeping her safe. She’s my daughter and…” he trailed off, his own eyes misting up. “But one thing I realised over the last few years, this is no one’s fault but his.”

Frank sniffed and looked away. He knew Bill was right, but that still didn’t ease the enormous ball of guilt he felt in his gut.

“You said she fought back?” Bill said and Frank nodded. “Well, if you want any evidence of exactly how much you have kept her safe that’s it right there…she’s a different person. She’s the old Fliss, the one we knew way back before he ever turned up.” Bill wiped at his eyes as he glanced at the house then back to Frank. “And I cannot begin to thank you for the change we’ve seen in her.”

“Me?” Frank frowned.

“Yes, you.” Bill insisted “None of us can go back, Frank. The only thing we can do is move forward and you’ve helped her do that. You’ve given her something, something else to focus on other than her work and memories…” he took a deep breath, his hand falling back to Frank’s shoulder, his eyes locking onto his “…and when the time comes, I want you to know you don’t need to ask my permission, because there’s no one else on this earth I’d trust more than you to care for her for the rest of her life.”

Bill’s words sunk in and Frank looked at him, his eyes misting over before the man pulled him in for a fatherly hug, gently slapping his back.

“Right, now that’s over with…” Bill stepped away, turning for his bag “Please tell me your mother has some decent scotch because fuck do I need a stiff drink.”

****** None of them stayed up late that night. They retired to bed at little after 9 and Fliss snuggled up next to Frank, her head laying on his chest. The only problem with that, was that Frank then woke at 3 the next morning, and couldn’t get back to sleep. He glanced at Fliss who was fast asleep besides him and gently climbed out of bed. The chilly air hit him and he shivered slightly, grabbing a t-shirt off the side which he shrugged on before he headed down stairs to grab a bottle of water. As he reached the bottom steps the soft sound of classical music hit his ears and there was a chink of light flowing from underneath the study door. He knew instantly it was his mother. He headed into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and was about to head back upstairs when he paused, his eyes drifting to the study door. He hesitated, before he made his decision and walked back gently pushing it open.

Evelyn looked up, frowning slightly “Frank?” “Needed a drink, saw the light was on.” he said simply “Couldn’t sleep?” “Something like that.” she mused.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

With a soft smile she beckoned him over and he walked into the room, noticing for the first time she had a photo album open. Frank peered down and felt his own smile creep across his face as he looked at the photo of him, along with his Mother, Father and Diane on Francis Street Beach in Nantucket. It was the year before his Father died.

“I remember that trip.” Frank said softly. “Spur of the moment decision to go for a long weekend in the holidays. Dad capsized the kayak on purpose because I kept splashing him.”

“You were so excited to go.” Evelyn smiled. “Because the beach had the same name as you.” Frank huffed a laugh.

“I know you’ve heard me say this countless times but you really are ridiculously like Preston.” Evelyn looked at him and Frank looked down at her as he straightened back up, cracking open the bottle of water he had. “Seeing you with Fliss…” she trailed off and sighed, “I loved Walter...but it was nothing compared to how I felt about your father.” Frank looked at her, as she gently ran her hand over the photo on the page “I often wonder if he had still been here how different things would have been, but then I remind myself that he was-“ she trailed off and stopped dead. “Anyway, no point-“ “He was what?” Frank frowned.

“Nothing…” “Mother.” he said sternly. Evelyn looked at him and he stared straight back before she took a deep breath and hung her head slightly.

"He was leaving me. He said he didn't love me anymore...hadn't for a while and once the issue with Diane’s schooling was sorted, he was moving out." Frank blinked. That had surprised him because as far as he had been aware his mother and father had been solid as a rock until his Fathers accident. He looked at his mother who was looking back down at the photo album, her face sad…and suddenly to Frank it all made sense. "That's why you wanted to hurt me, all the business with Mary?" Frank looked at her, folding his arms and Evelyn shifted slightly "Because I hurt you first. I left you, just like dad?" Evelyn sighed "I'm not proud if it...but yes, I expect some psychologist could boil it down to that. But, it wasn’t all about hurting you Frank…I failed Diane and when I heard about Mary, how she had inherited your sister’s talents…I saw it as a perfect opportunity to try and make amends”

Frank rubbed at his eyes. He didn’t have it in him to be angry about any of this. Maybe last year, but not now. His mother had simply confirmed what he had suspected, but he was glad she’d admitted it finally. That it had been partly spite, and partly because she accepted some responsibility over Diane. Evelyn wasn’t to blame for Diane’s death, he knew that and would never in a million years dream of accusing her of such, but Diane had suffered from a mental illness which Evelyn had chosen to ignore. But he now understood that she hadn’t been ignoring it because she thought it was a weakness…his mother had feared it.

“I'm not proud of how I behaved Frank” Evelyn looked at him and his eyes flickered back to her.  “Far from it. But knowing Mary now, I'm not sure I'd change it because...I love her. And I'm glad she’s in my life. And you too for that matter.”

“What’s done is done.” he said gently, “I’m tired of being angry and bitter about it.” “Me too.” Evelyn said.

“Well…” Frank said, thinking back to what Bill had said to him earlier “There’s nothing we can do about the past. I suppose it’s how we choose to deal with things going forward that matters.”

Kintsugi…

Evelyn looked at him “That’s very philosophical” she teased and Frank gave a chuckle.

“Old habits die hard.” he shrugged before he sighed "Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked quietly, “About Dad?” "Preston was your hero.” Evelyn looked at him, smiling softy “And rightly so, he was an amazing man. And I thought you deserved to at least have some good memories of one parent"

Frank looked at her as she held his gaze, her words echoing around his brain. She’d been trying to protect him, behaving again in a way that she thought was best. Shielding him from hurt and anger and pain.

Being a mom.

With a soft nod he acknowledged her point and with a final smile he bid her goodnight and headed upstairs. Slipping back into bed, he gently pressed a kiss to Fliss’ neck, holding her close to his chest, simply laying still, and then she shifted and turned to face him.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he asked softly and she shook her head.

“No, but I woke up and you weren’t here…” she said as he brushed her waves off her face, his thumb gently skating her bruised cheek “Where did you go?”

“To grab a drink” he said, “then I was talking to Mother…” “Everything ok?” Fliss asked and he took a deep breath, nodding.

“Yeah, yeah I think it is, or at least it will be.” She smiled softly at him in the dim light and he dipped his head to kiss her gently, his hand dropping to her hip. She moved closer, tipping her pelvis up to meet his and he gave a sigh into her mouth as he felt her rub up against his crotch.

“You want something?” he asked, and she gave a soft chuckle.

“You gonna make me beg?” she asked.

“Never baby girl…” he smiled, rolling her over onto her back.

Before long they were both naked, sharing kisses, soft teasing touches. Frank’s mouth softly caressed her bruised neck, her collar bone before moving down to her breasts, lavishing affection at her pebbled nipples causing her to arch her back, pressing into his touch. He loved the way she keened underneath him, her body begging him for more, so needy and so ready for him. When neither of them could stand it any longer, both aching for one another, Frank’s hands gently cupped her face as he pushed into her, causing her to gasp slightly. He gently rolled his hips, his movements slow, deep, rocking into her as opposed to thrusting, not wanting any inch of his body to be away from hers.

It was slow, soft and quiet. Everything about it was pure love and affection, not for one single moment about chasing that surge of ecstasy. But when that relief inevitably came, Fliss head tipped back in a silent cry, as Frank nuzzled at her jaw with his nose before he slanted his mouth over hers, kissing her deeply before he himself came, hard, with a surge that he wasn’t quite sure he’d felt before. As they lay there, tangled around one another, soft kisses and touches being shared in the afterglow, Frank found himself wondering just how on Earth she kept managing to make him fall deeper in love with her by the day.

He knew he would probably never get the answer to that, but he didn’t care. All he knew was this woman was his world, his home.

And he was going to make her his wife.