#Lion x Nina
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auroravictorium · 10 months ago
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anti-hero (k.b.)
i wake up screaming from dreaming. one day i'll watch as you're leaving, and life will lose all its meaning (for the last time).
Summary: reader is awake and heads outside for fresh air. kaz questions whether reader still wants to be with him, and reader begins to heal.
Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship) Word Count: ~4.3k (!!!) Warnings: allusions to reader's recent trauma (kidnapping, torture, severe injuries), mentions of injuries (scars, cuts, bruises), mentions of sibling & parent loss/death, mentions of blood, mentions of kaz's haphephobia, mentions of violence (kaz bashing heads and dangling people of rooftops) Genre: fluffier angst? brief angst then fluff? Author's Note: i really gotta stop with these disappearing acts. anyway, i promised you guys the next part, so here is the next part at a whopping 4.3k. pls enjoy <3 masterlist
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The next few days passed in a blur as you fought to recover from what you'd been through. Nothing aggravated you more than the stiffness of your muscles and the pain throbbing throughout your body; just a week ago, you'd been able to jump across rooftops and snatch a pouch of kruge from a man's pocket without any issue. Now, damn near everything ached, though the vertigo and throbbing in your head had eased thanks to Nina's work.
On one of the warmer days, where the snow had melted into the ground to form a muddy slush, you woke up feeling much better than when you'd been carried out of the warehouse. While the rest of the house slept, you slowly made your way out of the room you were staying in and down the stairs. You stuck to the edges, using the banister to support yourself as you avoided potential creaky spots. The house was in remarkably good condition, but you didn't want anyone questioning why you were up and about on your own. You needed to move, to feel the fresh air again.
To remind yourself that you were free, despite everything.
You slipped on your battered boots, your body aching as you hunched over to pull them onto your feet, then stepped onto the front porch, looking over the bleak, icy land sprawling before you. Crossing your arms to brace yourself against the cold, you stepped off the porch and stood in the snow. You let the muddy slush soak the material of your boots, chilling your skin even through your thick socks.
The air stung your lungs as you inhaled deeply, burned through your chest, and then you let it out slowly, the air fogging before you. To be standing outside felt like bliss; in the open air, you could forget the griminess of your captivity for a moment, the sensation of blood sliding down your fingers, the ringing of your ears as your friends had arrived in a flurry of action and chaos. 
You gulped down more air to chase away the prickling hairs on the back of your neck as you considered all that had happened. Not now. 
You realized then why it was easier to close off, to not think of the horrible things those mercenaries had done, that Rollins and his Dime Lions had done in Ketterdam over the years. Denial was easier than wading through the grief of what happened. Preferable, even.
Snow crunched behind you, but you didn't turn, your eyes still fixed on the empty, slush-covered fields before you. A gloved hand carefully wrapped a worn blanket around your shoulders and lingered for a moment before falling away. Kaz stepped beside you, his coat wrapped tightly around himself; there were dark shadows under his eyes, and his face was a touch paler from exhaustion. 
You frowned at him. "You haven't slept."
"Neither have you," he said quietly, sliding his free hand into his coat pocket and looking down at you. He was silent, his icy blue eyes roaming up and down your form as he surveyed you. The look made you shiver, and you turned your gaze away, a blush unrelated to the cold rising to your cheeks.
Out of your periphery, you saw Kaz slide his hand from his pocket, and you felt the brush of his fingers against your arm, loosely wrapping around your wrist. You glanced up at him, and you let him gently turn your arm so that your forearm was to the sky; he pushed your sleeve up carefully, tenderly, and his gaze lifted from the bandages around your arm to your face, waiting.
"Go ahead," you said softly. You didn't want to hide your pain and your scars from Kaz, even though instincts told you to shield it from him. You ached to hide your weakness like when you first arrived on Ketterdam's streets, to settle into denial and rage. But this was Kaz. You trusted him to catch you if you fell.
Kaz undid the bandages with practiced ease, and you wrinkled your nose as cold air hit your wounded tattoo. The flesh was nearly healed thanks to Nina's hard work, but most of the ink itself was destroyed, only a few dark remnants remaining at the edges of what had once been the crow perched on the cup. Shiny scar tissue lined your forearm, and Kaz ran a gloved finger over the skin. The gentlest of touches, but enough to make you hold your breath and look away.
"I'm sorry," Kaz said, breaking the silence with his raspy voice before you could speak. Though he deemed his investigation complete, he didn't release your arm. Instead, he carefully wrapped the bandages again and secured them in place, his leather touches nothing more than a whisper against broken skin. 
You shook your head. "It's not your fault," you said, looking up at him. You were startled to find his gaze already on you, and your breath caught as you saw the raw emotions flickering there. Concern, anguish, guilt. A raw mix of vulnerability he would never let anyone else see.
Kaz looked back down at your bandaged arm, still in his hold. Black leather gloves against pale white bandages, a stark contrast that he hated. He'd caused this. He was at fault, whether you would say it to him or not. The moment he'd crawled out of that harbor, determined to make the city pay for taking his brother, taking his name, taking his dreams, he'd set everyone around him on a path to harm.
"Kaz," you said, turning your arm in his grip so that you could grasp his. Your breath fogged in the cold air between the two of you, a warning of the winter storm brewing above that you elected not to heed. "Tell me what you're thinking. Please."
He let out a breath, and he wanted to turn away. Your gaze was intense, reaching deep into his soul and threatening to pull out every word he'd stashed away where nobody could ever find them. Most believed he didn't have a soul, and he liked it that way; it was his treasured hiding place of all the things he wanted to say but never would, because Dirtyhands wasn't tender. He wasn't kind or caring. He was ruthless, selfish, and brutal. He bashed skulls into stone floors and tortured men on rooftops.
Yet you seemed to break down his walls with only a look, stripping away the layers he'd created to become Kaz Brekker. You saw him, the boy who grew up on this farm, who fell asleep every night with the threadbare blanket currently wrapped around your shoulders, who believed in goodness in the world.
He struggled to reach into that hidden, tucked away part of himself, to find the words he longed to say to you. I love you. I'm sorry. I am not the man you should want. I love you. I thought I'd lost you. I am a liar. I love you.
I love you, and I thought I had lost the chance to say it.
"Do you still want this?" he managed to say, the words nothing more than a rasp, the sound of sandpaper against wood. Even as Kaz Brekker longed to take steps back, to fling up those walls and fall back into the comfort and safety of being ruthless and harsh, the ground beneath his feet had him rooted in place. The Rietveld farm, where the ghosts of his father and brother lurked in the house just feet away. They were watching, begging him to do better. To be better.
He could be.
"Yes," you said without hesitation, your grip on his arm steady and your gaze unwavering. "I made my decision a year ago. I stand by it." Your words were firm but not unkind, leaving no room for argument or misinterpretation.
A lot of horrible things had happened in the past week. Kidnapping, torture, interrogation, and scarring you hoped would one day heal. And despite the urge to collapse, to fall and give in, you wouldn't. Your friends wouldn't let you. Kaz wouldn't let you. And you wouldn't let Kaz wade into the guilt he was feeling. You'd haul him out by his coat collar if you had to. You wouldn't blame anyone for what had happened to you aside from those who deserved it; the guilt lay with the mercenaries and with Pekka, left behind in that warehouse.
Kaz was quiet for a few long moments. He let your words play over and over again in his mind, searching for any whisper of deceit, any hint of blame from you that would reinforce the guilt that pressed down hard enough on his lungs that he felt like they might be crushed beneath the weight. When he found none, he pushed a slow breath past his lips, trying to ease that pressure. "Alright," he said.
Because as much as he did blame himself, it was your choice. Your decision to stay with him, despite his belief that you would only get hurt again. And he wouldn't take that choice from you, even as everything he'd taught himself screamed at him to distance himself from you until you changed your mind.
He would be better.
Kaz swallowed, realizing he still held your arm in his grasp. He looked down at it again, his hand gently cradling your injured arm, and he slowly shifted his hold until your hand was held in both of his, his cane resting against his hip so it didn't fall into the slush. He could feel the coldness of your fingers through his gloves, and he trapped your fingers between his palms to try and warm them up. 
You stepped closer to him, realizing how cold you actually were, even with the tattered blanket around your shoulders. The heat radiated off him in waves, and soon you were nearly chest-to-chest with him. You tilted your head up to look at Kaz, your heart slamming in your chest as you dared to step into his personal space. He smelled like city smoke, like faint remnants of cologne. Home. Comfort.
"I thought I lost you," Kaz rasped, the words almost inaudible, even as you stood mere inches from him. He almost choked on the words, but he owed it to you to say that. To say so much more. "I thought Pekka had won."
"He didn't," you said quietly. 
"I killed him."
"I know."
His breathing turned ragged. "I should have done worse. I should have made him suffer more."
You shook your head, turning your hand in his palms so you could lace your fingers with his. "You did what needed to be done. Nothing more, nothing less. That's all that matters." You tilted your face up, taking in the emotions in his eyes.
"Before you left, you said..." Kaz's eyes slipped shut. Just say it, you fool. Say it. "You said you loved me."
The words didn't burn on his tongue like he thought they would and didn't taste like salty, bitter seawater. It didn't make his teeth chatter or his clothes feel stuck to his skin. It felt blissfully warm, burning in his chest like it might ignite him from the inside out.
You didn't answer, not wanting to interrupt him as he fought to speak. You had a feeling you knew what he wanted to say, why he looked like he was somewhere between keeling over and taking off across the property to disappear into the treeline. So, you gave his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him, feeling your heart pound as he spoke again.
"I should have said it back," Kaz said. "I should have told you I..." The words stuck in his mouth like the sticky candy he'd shared with his brother on this very property, the sun beating down on their heads. "I should have..." He faltered again, his brows creasing as he grew increasingly frustrated with his inability to spit the damn words out.
Kaz sighed, the breath rushing out of his lungs and clouding in the air before he managed to force out, "I should have told you that I love you." As the words passed his lips, a feeling of peace came over him. The knot in his chest eased, and the heavy weight within his chest became easier to bear. Taking the chance, he continued, his voice quieter. "You could have died, and all I thought about on the ride here was how I didn't say it back. I just turned away like a fool and sent you into the lion's den."
He was grateful for that temporary moment of relief. At least if you stepped away and changed your mind about wanting this, wanting him, the last thing he would remember of the two of you would be this moment of respite with your hand in his and the knowledge that he'd finally told you what he felt. That would be some consolation before the bitter taste of pain rose.
You stepped closer, cutting off his train of thought by pressing his gloved hand against your racing heart, his palm resting just beneath your collarbone. The words he'd just spoken suddenly seemed far away, and his mind went completely blank as he felt the hammering of your heart against his palm. A stark reminder that you were still alive, and he didn't have to think of the 'what ifs' anymore. You had chosen him. You hadn't changed your mind, after everything.
"Don't torment yourself," you said quietly. Your gaze met his, a simultaneous fierceness and gentleness visible there that almost knocked the breath from Kaz's lungs. "Do you remember what I told you? Your pace?"
The words reminded you of an evening that felt long in the past. The two of you, sitting on Kaz's tiny bed in the Slat and working through his fear when you told him you love him and that he didn't have to say it back until he was ready. Your pace, Kaz.
"I remember," he said, his voice uncharacteristically shaky. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain control of his breathing as he dropped his hand from your heart and twined his gloved fingers with yours once more. Once he was sure he wouldn't hyperventilate or collapse into the icy mud like a fool, he opened his eyes again.
"I love you," you said softly, giving his hand the gentlest of squeezes. The words felt right, just like every time you'd said them, tasting like shots in the Crow Club and snow falling over the city, like a heady bliss you wanted to feel again and again, as though you might never get enough. Though the words felt right, you realized you started trembling after you said them. From the cold? From the vulnerability strung between the two of you? From the anticipation of his response?
Your fingers were cold between Kaz's, and before he realized what he was doing, he caught both of your hands in his this time, clasping them between his gloved palms to warm them up. Only a few inches separated your faces now, and your tangled hands were wedged between your chests. Selfishly, he wanted to close that distance completely, to remind himself of how your lips felt together. It had been six months, and though he thought about that moment in the alley outside the Crow Club every single day, he found that the feeling had begun to drift from his mind.
"We should go inside," he rasped, despite the thoughts warring in his head. You were freezing; that much was obvious. The old blanket he'd brought to you hadn't done much to keep you warm in this bitter weather, especially as a fresh flurry of snow prepared to blanket the ground.
"I'm fine," you responded, though the growing numbness of your nose and ears said otherwise. You were caught in his gaze, trapped by the heated look in his eyes. You'd seen him angry, distant, and vulnerable at times, but the look he wore now was one you hardly recognized. It was one you'd only seen once before, moments before he'd kissed you outside the Crow Club like he'd die if he didn't get the chance.
"That's what most say before dying of exposure," Kaz deadpanned, but even his response couldn't tamp down the burning in his chest. He didn't recognize it, the looseness in his muscles and the burning in his chest. For once, no terror rose in response to your closeness, ready to shove him away with cold, invisible hands.
You rolled your eyes at him. "I can assure you, the cold won't take me out that easily." Still, you shivered just a bit as a slight breeze kicked up to remind you both of the incoming storm, making your words much less reassuring than you wanted them to be. Traitorous nature. But Kaz (and the wind) was right, the two of you should head inside, even if you wanted to bask in the vulnerability and simmering feel of his gaze for a little bit longer.
Taking a step back, you moved as if you might disentangle your hands from his and head back toward the house. Once again acting before he could stop himself, Kaz caught you, his fingers gentle as they wrapped around your wrist. "Wait," he said, his voice almost inaudible. He took a shaky breath as terror sunk its fingers into his flesh again, making his words come out more unsteadily than he intended. "Can I?"
He could win against his fear again, could push himself past the newfound comfort of holding hands with you. He'd done it once, even though it had kicked an unfortunate series of events into motion. But maybe... maybe that wouldn't happen again. It was just the two of you and the cold. No witnesses, no traitors amongst you except the bone-deep terror that threatened to rear its head every time he dared to challenge it.
Confusion briefly flashed across your face, and then your mind went blank with recognition. The memory of the alleyway, a kiss tasting like bitter liquor and snow, flashed through your mind.
Oh. Oh.
You nodded, just as you had before, feeling your cheeks heat up despite the cold.
As he stepped closer, closing the last few inches of distance, you wanted to ask him whether he was sure. He'd opened up to you so much already; you didn't want him to feel obligated to do so further. But he'd initiated it, and you trusted him and his newfound confidence in his ability to heal. 
You were proud of him.
His lips met yours, tentatively at first. They were cold, chapped slightly from the weather, and he waited for the icy terror to yank him to the ground and drown him right there on land. While his legs felt unsteady, pushed and pulled at by his own fear in its twisted form of pale, dead hands in the harbor, he felt like he could keep standing as long as he focused on you.
It no longer felt like the midst of a Kerch winter. As snow fell down and started to kiss your cheeks, you could imagine it was a morning drizzle on a summer day, before the sweltering heat kicked in and was compounded by the smoky air of the city. You felt warm, maybe too warm, and you freed one of your hands to move up and grasp the back of his neck, standing up on your tiptoes to keep the distance between you closed.
Kaz startled at the touch, his hand moving to grab your arm out of instinct as his heartbeat picked up at the feel of your hand on his skin. The touch was foreign, soft, and hesitant, but not unwelcome as he steeled himself against letting his fear take over. He wanted to be able to kiss you, to accept your touch and affection without feeling like he might collapse. 
His determination fueled him to press even closer, his hand releasing your arm in favor of cupping your cheek. He brushed his thumb over your cheekbone, pretending he could feel the softness of your skin beneath his touch. You shivered, and a surge of warmth ran down his spine, making goosebumps rise beneath your hand on his neck.
Distantly, he felt his cane fall from where it had been propped against his hip, thumping against the frozen ground. But his focus was on you. You, your lips, your nose bumping against his as you settled into this still-new feeling, your hand on his neck, your other moving up as if to join the other before chancing it, sliding into the mussed strands of his hair that he hadn't bothered to slick back before joining you out here.
You fought the heat running throughout your body and forced yourself to pull back, gasping a bit and looking up at him. "I'm-" you began, already starting to retract your hands. What if you'd pushed him too far? You'd felt how he tensed beneath your touch for a moment, felt him go somewhere else for just a moment. What were you thinking, Y/N? His pace, remember?
"Don't," Kaz said roughly, knowing precisely what you were thinking. He kissed you again, chasing the euphoria of your lips against his. He surprised himself with how hungrily he kissed you. The feel of your lips was better than any liquor. Better than any drug, or high in the aftermath of a successful heist. He liked the feeling of kruge passing into his hands, but this feeling had quickly surpassed that.
You made a noise of surprise but didn't protest or pull away, sliding your hands back into his hair and through the dark, silky strands. There was a bubble of something in your chest, the urge to chase this and press further, but the burning in your lungs and throbbing of your wounds in response to the worsening cold forced you to pull back far sooner than you wanted to. 
You opened your mouth to speak, ready to ask if he was okay, or what he was thinking. A million emotions were flickering through his eyes, and you were having trouble pinpointing any of them. Just as you recognized one of them as longing, Kaz's face went neutral, the emotions disappearing before you could blink as the front door to the house creaked open. Your head turned, and you saw Nina, who had just woken up judging by the wayward hair framing her face.
"If you two are done frolicking, I figure I should tell you the storm is about to hit," Nina called from the porch, leaning against the doorway with a smugness on her face that made you blush and take several steps back from Kaz. 
Tightening the old blanket around your shoulders, you glanced at Kaz as he grabbed his cane off the ground. His cheekbones were flushed pink, and there was a purse to his lips that gave away his embarrassment at being caught. But as he straightened up, his cane firmly in his hand again, there was a sparkle in his eye as he met your gaze and offered you an elbow to help you back inside.
"Not a word, witch," Kaz said to Nina, eyeing the wicked grin on her face as he tapped his boots against the steps to free the snow and mud from them. He kept his arm extended for you to hold onto as you did the same, noting the winces of pain as the impact sent shocks of pain through the bruises and scrapes on your legs.
Nina gave Kaz an innocent smile. "Of course not." She reached up to pinch his cheek, and he batted her hand away with a sharp glare. "Can't ruin your terrifying reputation, can I?" 
"No bickering before breakfast," Jesper groaned from the couch, pushing the blanket away from his face and yawning. "I can't add any witty commentary on an empty stomach." He sat up and rubbed his eyes before grimacing and hunching his shoulders. "Now, will you please close the damn door? It's freezing out there."
You suppressed another smile, stepping into the house and setting your shoes to the side. As Nina and Jesper bickered, you pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders, sharing a brief glance with Kaz as you settled next to the fireplace to warm up. A flicker of something soft passed through his eyes before disappearing as he carefully leaned down to add another log to stoke the flames. 
Inej padded down the stairs, putting the finishing touches on her braid as she investigated the commotion. If she noticed the faint blush on your cheeks or Kaz looking anywhere but you, she didn't say anything. Instead, she pushed Jesper's legs off the couch to make room to sit, ignoring his groggy protests.
Though you weren't sure anything other than time could heal what happened, being surrounded by your chosen family was a good start. A warmth unrelated to the fire settled over you, a comfort and security that eased the tension that hadn't lifted since your capture. You would heal. Wounds would scar and fade, memories would become less vivid, and the ink along your arm could be replaced one day. 
In the meantime, you'd bask in that warmth, even when your return to Ketterdam inevitably tried to chase it away. 
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petertingle-yipyip · 3 months ago
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STRANGER - KAZ BREKKER
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//tags: @beekeepingageissome // an: i really hope i can pull this off. i anticipate this being 2-3 parts. right now, we’re set before the Ice Court. also i’m picturing danielle rose russell as the character. lmk if we want this as an OC or reader// next part
Pairing: kaz x rollins!reader (enemies to lovers) [no Y/N used yet]
Word Count: 5,892
Summary: Her father’s action led to the death of her only two childhood friends, Kaz and Jordie Rietveld. Only Kaz returned as the infamous Dirtyhands. Creating her own gang in the shadows, she considers allying with the Bastard of the Barrel, only it goes about as well as anything could with Brekker.
It all seemed so far away, the first time you had met Kaz and his brother. Years ago that seemed to be another life. And maybe it was. You had left your father not long after that. When you heard that Jordie and Kaz - or at least two boys that fit their descriptions and matched your sketches - were picked up during the Queen Lady’s Plague collections, your stomach had pitched.
You were only a child, the same age as Kaz give or take a few months, and his brother seemed a good boy. They ate dinner with your family, played with you and your dog. You and Kaz had come up with games late into the night until Jordie took him home.
And then suddenly, you and your family were out of the house. You didn’t understand but you didn’t question it. You never saw the boys again but it was easy enough to hear of who had died of the sickness and who hadn’t. And it didn’t take long to find out how.
Your father used an alias and rolled the boys for their money. They had nowhere to go except the streets and it killed them.
Well, one of them.
Kaz had managed to pull through, but the boy that came back wasn’t the boy you knew. He had changed and you weren’t sure if you had expected him to be the same. When you left your father, you had seen him around the Barrel. You considered talking to him but the unbridled anger in his eyes kept you at bay. Instead, you decided to bide your time. Build your own empire. And in time, you would offer Kaz a deal and take down your father together.
Leaving Jordie and Kaz to die killed not only one of the Rietveld brothers, but it killed you as well. You existed only in stories to him. Pekka Rollins’ only daughter, fled home as a young teen, building up a gang of her own.
You changed your hair, colored it a midnight shade of red, and cut bangs. You kept the rest braided and pinned. You wore a hooded cloak when you went out during the day. You never spoke your name in public. But you did help yourself to your father’s money.
Your money, technically, since it was placed into an account in your name. You withdrew from it once a month, never letting the balance fall beneath the initial. It filled the coffer of your growing gang, choosing a snake as your branding. Your father had Dime Lions. Kaz had the Dregs. You had your snakes, though a fitting name never came to you.
You were on your way to attempt a meeting with the Dregs’ Heartrender, Nina Zenik. She held occupancy at the White Rose, and she was not an easy woman to schedule with. Nor was she cheap. You were leaving the bank, your latest withdrawal under your cloak, when you saw him.
You’d seen him in passing over the years, heard all the stories of what he’d become. Dirtyhands Kaz Brekker. The Bastard of the Barrel. Some said he was a demon. Some called him a monster, a wretched boy with only bones for fingers. He was Death, the Reaper who sent his Wraith without remorse.
You had to remind yourself to breath when a hand clasped your shoulder.
You spun quickly and a hand went to the small knife in the sheath sewn to the inside of the collar.
“Boss has been looking for you.” A familiar voice said. You didn’t know his name, but the voice was one from your childhood. You didn’t miss the lion tattooed on his forearm. “He’ll be happy to see who’s been taking his money.”
You narrowed your eyes but remained quiet. You yanked your knife free and sliced the forearm of the hand touching you, cutting right through the Lion. Decapitating it. You would’ve stayed and admired your handiwork had you not been on a mission.
So you ran.
You worked through the busy crowd until you somehow ended up at Kaz’s side.
“I need your help.” You stepped in front of him. You hadn’t even realized it was him until you stood face to face.
You couldn’t have picked anyone else?
“You’ve come to the wrong person.” He shook his head.
“It’s one of Pekka Rollins’ men.” You tried urgently. “They’re looking for his daughter.”
That got his attention but he tried not to show it. It flashed across his face for a split second, a momentary sliver of the young boy you knew.
“Isn’t she dead?” He said flatly, as if it was a fact. “I sure hope so.”
“She’s not.” You said sharply and dared a glanced behind him. Your father’s goon was making his way through the crowd a few feet away. “But I’m guessing you’ll kill her if you get the chance.”
“In front of her father, yes. Maybe slice her open from her sternum and watch her heart stop beating.” He nodded, tapping the beak of his crow against the base of your throat, then paused to study your face. Your heart sped up and under your cloak, the grip on your knife grew tighter in an effort to not bat his cane away. It was already stained with the blood of your pursuer, and you weren’t above adding Kaz’s if he recognized you, but you were praying that Sankta Alina would help you avoid it. Never one for religion, but her story had always stuck with you. “What do you know about her?”
You lifted your chin slightly. “Why should I tell you anything?”
He leaned down slightly and you reflexively stepped back. “You came to me, remember? Unless you’d like me to leave you here for your friend back there.”
You sneered slightly before answering. “She’s alive, in the Barrel. She’s been building her own gang, using her father’s money for it.”
Kaz’s head cocked in interest.
“He has an account open for her and puts money in every week. She empties it every month or so.”
“A fool’s errand.”
“Excuse me?”
“Leaves a paper trail, on both sides… Why is she still here?”
“Why do you think? She wants to get rid of her father.”
“Why?”
You checked again and the Dime Lion was closing in. You shifted on your feet and Kaz took a step to the side, turning himself slightly to block you from view. You dropped your head and blocked your face with your hand as the man passed, hoping the scene looked like a blushing girl hiding her embarrassment. You sighed with relief and almost thanked Kaz.
He didn’t do it for you. You’re useful to him now is all.
“How do you know this?” Kaz asked after watching the Dime Lion for a few more seconds.
You replaced your knife and unbuttoned your cloak to pull your collar and show the snake tattoo winding across your shoulder. You fixed your clothing back to position and Kaz studied you silently.
“I’m sure we’ll meet again soon, Brekker.” You nodded.
He stood dumbfounded as you continued on. It took only a moment before the shock wore off. Kaz watched you go, his confusion burning to anger. He was mad that you had so much information yet gave so little. He was mad that you knew him, yet he knew nothing about you.
But what infuriated him most was that you were vaguely familiar. That he felt some old reminder of who he used to be, when he was just a boy with his brother. He also thought of Jordie with a shudder. He hated that you had some memory connected to his brother and he swore that he would get his answers, even if he had to cut them out of you.
When you were finally able to get in with Nina, it was a relief. She went into what seemed like a rehearsed spiel while you undid your cloak and draped it across your lap as you sat. You reached into your boot and pulled out the specific pile that was intended for her. You dropped it on the table and it silenced her.
“I didn’t come for the Heartrender, Ms. Zenik. I need the Dreg.” You began calmly. 
“The Dregs?” She tugged her sleeve uncomfortably. “What is this, a test from Brekker?”
“Not at all. I just ask that you deliver a few things to Kaz.”
“A delivery?” She laughed. “Drop it in the Post like every other lovesick girl that thinks they can fix him and move on, Dear.”
“He has a fan club?” Your brow quirked. You knew it was a joke but you wouldn’t be surprised if there was some group of girls that were fawning over Kaz. He was very pretty after all. “This isn’t a declaration of love or a marriage proposal. More of a… heads-up.”
“If this is a threat-“ Her hand raised and quickly lifted your own in defeat.
“I’d rather try my luck against his Wraith than face you.” You admitted. “I’d like you to hear me out, Nina. Please, you can turn me away and keep the money after. I’m sure every cent helps towards your Fjerdan project.”
Hesitantly, she lowered her hand 
You flipped your cloak and withdrew the small envelope from the main pocket. You held it out to her and waited until she opened it before you spoke.
“All I ask is that you get these to Brekker. He’ll know what they mean.” You said calmly, though your heart was racing. You wondered if she could tell.
“Drawings?” She looked up from the papers to you.
“She’s quite proud of those.” You smiled slightly.
It was a small collection of portrait sketches. A few of Kaz as a kid, one of Jordie and Kaz, and a few of Kaz in recent times.
“There should be something else.” You nodded and she shook the ring out of the envelope.
“Hmm, are you sure this isn’t a proposal?” She joked.
She examined it carefully, turning it at different angles and holding it close to her face. She slipped it on her own finger - it was so small, it barely fit her pinky -  and your jaw tightened.
“Who is this she you mentioned?” She asked, looking back to you.
“He’ll know.”
“I could just keep this ring, you know. It’s quite adorable.”
“You could.” You agreed. “But that’s a risk she was aware of. Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d care much for a child’s keepsake ring. Besides, it was either you or the sharpshooter, and I’m sure Jesper Fahey would’ve found some parlor that’d give him a line of credit for it.”
“It’s Grisha made, isn’t it?”
You rubbed the fabric of your cloak between your fingers. That had cost you quite a pretty penny. “Yes.”
“Must be a very well off child.”
“She was.”
“Merchant’s daughter?”
“Not quite.”
She quickly grew tired of your avoidant answers. “So what happens if Kaz gets all this?”
“He can do what he wishes with the papers. Those are only a part of a collection that needs to be downsized regardless, but the ring is what’s important… She’ll come for it when she’s ready.”
“She plans on waltzing up to Kaz and demanding the ring?”
“No.” You smiled. “She’ll simply take it back, almost like a placeholder.”
“She’s mad if she thinks she can rob Kaz Brekker” Nina laughed, and you had to admit the sound was rather infectious. “But I’d love to see her try.”
“Can I trust you with this, Ms. Zenik?”
She mulled it over and had to tighten your hands into fists around the fabric of your cloak when you saw your ring was still on her finger. You knew you couldn’t take it back. Not only because it was part of your plan, but because she’d stop your heart as soon as you stood.
“I will, but only because I'd like to see how this’ll play out.” She nodded. “But what about the Wraith?”
You stood and fastened your cloak into place over your shoulders.
“He’ll send her for you and whoever sent these.” She warned.
“Trust. She expects as much.” You added over your shoulder as you left the room.
It took a few days but the unmistakable feeling of being watched from the shadows seized you as you were returning to your small dwelling. You ducked down a different alley, weaving your way through crowded passageways until you finally got to an empty, secluded area. Bold to lure the Wraith deeper into darkness, but you couldn’t risk anyone else hearing your words.
“I’m surprised he waited so long.” You said flatly and lowered your hood. To anyone else, you were talking to yourself. But soon after, her dark clad figure came from the shadows and you faced her bravely. “Hello, Wraith.”
She held up her hand and your ring tumbled out, tied around a string attached to her wrist. You stared at the small piece of jewelry for a moment and the chain around your neck you usually kept it on felt too light. You missed the light weight against your chest, the way it would bounce off your bones when you ran or trained.
“Ah.” You forced a smile. “I see Nina made good on our deal. I should thank her.”
“What business do you have with Kaz?” She finally spoke and her voice was level, void of any sort of emotional cue. You had to give it to Kaz. He trained his Dregs well.
“What business does he have with Pekka Rollins?” You countered. You knew it all, every minute detail, but you wondered what he had told her.
“Nina said that you work for someone else.” She changed the subject, wanting control of the interrogation. “An unnamed girl with Grisha connections.”
“Hmm.” You shrugged. “What did Brekker tell you when he sent you after me?”
“That you work for Pekka Rollins’ daughter.”
You tilted your head side to side in thought. “I suppose, in a way they’re both correct.” You conceded and flicked your cloak over your shoulder. You watched her hand fly to the knives at her ribs and you smiled innocently. You shifted your shirt collar and tilted your head away, waiting for her to see your tattoo. She squinted into the darkness but her hand slowly fell away. “I’d like to live long enough for the reunion, Inej.”
Her eyes went wide and she took a step back. You fixed your cloak over your shoulder and held out your empty palms.
“Yes, I know quite a bit about Brekker’s favorite Crows.” You said simply, keeping all malice out of your words. “Nina Zenik, the Heartrender at the White Rose with a Fjerdan friend out at Hellgate. Jesper Fahey, remarkable Zemeni sharpshooter with a tendency to wring out his coffers across the Barrel. You, Inej Ghafa, formerly Tante Heleen’s Lynx turned ghost story, utilizing those Suli acrobatics. Then there’s the Fjerdan himself that Brekker keeps tabs on, and the new one, the young demo expert.”
Wylan Van Eck - though he had an alias of his own - but you didn’t dare to say that. You wondered if Wylan would recognize you, but you had only seen him in passing years ago. You weren’t sure he knew that much about the Barrel in general. But given the fact that Kaz didn’t recognize you, you doubted Wylan would when you thought about it.
“How long have you been watching us?” She asked, squaring her shoulders and tucking the ring away. You were sad to see it go.
“Off and on.” You shrugged. “Truthfully, I just needed to establish a pattern before I could get that to him… He did get it, didn’t he?”
Her head cocked and you knew she heard something in your voice. Hope, or desperation maybe, and you cursed yourself for it.
“No.” She said smugly. “Nina delivered it to me.”
“Then I assume you have the same motives as she did, interest in what’s happening here.” You realized. “Tell me, Wraith. Has Kaz ordered my death yet, or am I still a target?”
“I believe the word he used was investment.”
“Investment… You know you won’t get anything from me. You’ll go and report back to Kaz with how much I know. If you two haven’t already, you’ll go over the ‘paper trail’ of her account and see it’s been tapped out, which’ll only serve as proof to what I’ve said so far. I’ll wander the Barrel, wasting nights at a gambling table while I bat my lashes to use someone else’s money or I’ll sample the menageries to pass the time. You or Brekker will get restless and pause your pursuit. And when none of you are looking, I’ll go back and you won’t see me again unless I want you to.”
You recognized a flash of silver and realized she drew a knife. You hadn’t even seen her hand move but you hid your shock by lifting your chin defiantly. You would not yield, not cower from Inej. You folded your hands in front of you, under your cloak so you could reach your pistol.
“I don’t want a fight, Inej.” You said honestly.
“I don’t intend there to be much of one.” She countered smoothly and the blade shifted in her hand. “I come as a warning. Keep her snakes away from us.” She said, adding extra venom into your gang’s patron.
“Us?” You instigated. “You bear no Dreg tattoo, Wraith. How can I be sure you’re truly aligned with them?”
“Doubt be again and find out.”
“We don’t want a war.” You reasoned.
“It doesn’t matter what you want. You and your shadow boss will not back the Dregs into a corner. Brekker won’t he-“
“I don’t fear Kaz Brekker.” You said firmly.
“Then you’re more of a fool than he thinks.” She snapped. She glanced around as if someone was listening, but no one in Ketterdam dared to watch the confrontations in the alleys. “Pride will be your downfall before he makes a move.”
“He wants to dismantle everything Pekka Rollins has.” You reasoned. You weren’t why you wanted so badly to convince Inej that you weren’t Kaz’s enemy, but when you thought about it, you knew he’d see you that way regardless. You worked for Pekka Rollins’ daughter. Actually, you were Rollins’ daughter. You’d be dead the second he found out. “She wants her father’s empire to burn as well. Why fight?”
“Do not come to the Dregs again, snake.”
“Is that a threat?” Your brows raised.
She smiled and her hand was a blur as the knife flew at you. You barely hid behind your cloak in time. You felt the blunt force of the knife against your cheek, thanking the Saints, before the blade clattered to the floor. You peaked out and another came, skating across the back of your hand. You yelped and clutched the wound to your chest.
Before you could react, she was on you. She had you by your cloak and slammed you against the nearest wall. You felt the distinct tip of a blade under your chin and you were quick to pull your own. You pressed it against her abdomen, grabbing her other arm to keep her close. You ignored the burn of the cut and righted your grip.
“The thing with snakes-“ You began and smiled. “We can wait. Bide our time until conditions fit us. We won’t back the Dregs into a corner, but you won’t flush us out either.”
Her eyes darted between yours as she tried to read your expression. Or maybe she wanted to remember your features. Either way, you acted. You slammed your head forward and collided with hers. She stumbled back and her blade fell away. You flicked your cloak to add to her disorientation before you kicked at her chest to knock her down.
Then you ran. 
It took a few more days before you saw either of them again. You had seen a Healer in that time, someone who wouldn’t give their name or let you look directly at them. Why they were in hiding you didn’t know or ask. They repaired your hand and that was all you needed.
You were wandering the streets when you saw her silhouette in the alley you passed. Moments later, she was on the rooftops above you, following. You dared a glance but as soon as your eyes turned that way, she disappeared. You knew she wanted you to follow so you sighed to yourself, checked that no one else was looking - of course they weren’t - and ducked down the alley.
You went as deep as you dared but there was no one else, only the faint tap of a cane behind you. You nodded slightly and put your hands up in surrender. You flipped down your hood and turned, facing Kaz straight on.
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” You began innocently, though you added a bit of roughness to your voice. If Kaz was going to recognize you, you weren’t going to make it easy for him.
A soft thud of landing behind you but you kept your focus forward.
“Will you come quietly?” Kaz spoke simply, as if it was obvious you were beaten. You quirked a brow and considered how the fight would go if you chose it. One of them you could take, but winning against both of them wasn’t likely.
“You say that like there’s a choice.” You sighed. “I know when I’m out-gunned, Dirtyhands.”
You slipped your fingers under the opposite sleeve and slid the hidden retractable blade strapped to your wrist out. You tossed the cuff to Kaz and he caught it with the crow’s beak of his cane. While he examined the small device, you held your pistol to Inej, who took it without a word. You tapped the toe of one boot on the ground, then the other, and felt the blade shifting against your leg. Glancing up, Kaz didn’t seem to notice the movement but the gentle kick to shin told you Inej did. With a huff, you pulled it out and handed it over. All you were left with was the small blade at the sheath under your cloak’s collar, but you wouldn’t give that up.
Only an idiot gets taken hostage by the two most lethal Dregs unarmed.
“Nice to see you again, Wraith.” You said teasingly. “Although this isn’t much of a fair fight, is it?”
You put your hands up again and offered Kaz a sarcastic expression. He was stone faced as usual, though he nodded to Inej over your shoulder. Your brows furrowed and as you turned, the side of your head was slammed into the nearest wall.
You woke up tied to a chair in an office/bedroom with an empty chair across from you, Kaz’s cane resting against the seat. Your head was pounding and you could feel your pulse beating in the new wound, growing as the room came into better focus. Your cloak was thrown across the desk, your wrists tied tightly to the back of the chair with scratchy ropes, your ankles were tied a lot looser. You shifted in the chair to test the integrity and wondered how hard you’d have to fall for it to break.
“About time.” He complained from somewhere behind you.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Do your usual hostages regain consciousness sooner?” You spat back, craning your neck to find him. “Should’ve brought your Heartrender if you were that impatient.”
Kaz was making it very hard to try for an alliance with him. At that moment, you wanted to kick his pretty teeth in.
“You’re not worth that much trouble.” He waved you off and you saw the infamous black gloves.
“Enough trouble for you to come and get me. What made that decision for you? Was it when Inej couldn’t do it herself?”
“Are you certain she wanted to?”
“Could’ve fooled me, but according to her, I’m a fool anyways.” You shrugged as best you could. “What's with the gloves?”
His leather-clad hands tightened into fists and he looked down at them for a moment, contemplating. You wondered what was going through his head, but you’d never know. His expression was as blank as ever and you cursed his self-control.
“You didn't wear them before.” You continued. “When you were a boy.”
“You know quite a lot, Dear.” He said simply and made his way in front of you. He moved his cane and sat, stretching his legs in front of him.
“Been around a while.”
“Who are you?” He leaned in a bit in interest. You were something new, something potentially dangerous, and he wanted to learn everything he could about you.
“A stranger that knows so much about you, Kaz Rietveld.”
His eyes narrowed and shifted the cane between his hands. You eyed it carefully, knowing the dangers that object held especially in Kaz’s hands. It could break bones, numb limbs, slice through skin. You’d be lucky if he didn’t use it on you, but the daunting silhouette of the crow’s head didn’t stop you from talking.
“You and Jordie… Her drawings are the spitting ima-“
The sharp beak of his crow topper sliced down your cheekbone and cut your words short. Your head snapped to the side and you cried out slightly, fresh blood slowly dripping down your cheek. You stared back at him angrily, new and sudden rage burning in your stomach as he stood over you.
“You don’t get to say that name.” He said viciously. The rage in his eyes made you worry he’d kill you there. “What did she tell you?”
“You can beat me all you like.” You said firmly. “I won’t break.”
“Then you’ll die.”
He pulled a knife and you shifted in your seat, pushing back as far as you could. One of his covered hands landed on your shoulder while the other pressed the blade to your throat. Your eyes darted in a panic and you noticed the silver chain around his neck.
“The ring.” You breathed and the knife froze. “You have the ring. You know she’s out there.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” He pulled the blade, causing you to wince, and you felt a thin stream of blood from your neck. He took up his cane with the other hand and tapped it against the floor, punctuating his words.  “I do, however, doubt you’re as steadfast as you claim.”
“It doesn’t matter.” You shook your head. “I’ll die before I give up anything on my snakes. You think I don’t know what you do to people you don’t like? I’ve heard all the stories, Dirtyhands.” You laughed. “I wouldn’t risk their lives just to save myself.”
The cold crow’s head came under your chin and forced your attention to him.
“Your snakes?” His head cocked and your eyes went wide with panic for a moment. Leave it to Kaz to pick up on your one rhetoric mistake.
“I serve as her lieutenant. The snakes are as much mine as hers.” You covered, but he didn’t seem convinced as you jerked your head away. “Are the Dregs not as much yours as they are Haskell’s?”
“The Dregs follow me.” He said firmly, an air of leadership and confidence around him. If you didn’t have a gang already, you would’ve asked him to take you in as well. “This will go one of two ways. You answer my questions and you can burrow back into whatever hole you and Rollins’ pathetic daughter are hiding in with minimal injury.”
You spat at his feet. He swung the cane at your ribs. You wheezed as the air left one of your lungs.
“Or I can flay you piece by piece until you’re unrecognizable, covered in tears and your own blood, and I still get what I need.”
“You’ll get nothing from me.” You rasped and shook your head.
“Or…” He trailed off, wagging his finger as if a new idea came to him. “I can simply keep you here, wait until she finally shows herself and then drag her kicking and screaming to her father’s doorstep.”
“And do what?” You dared to ask, though you had a feeling you knew the answer. “He won’t care. He gave up on her years ago.”
“If that were true, he wouldn’t have an account for her.” Kaz shook his head. “Yes, I looked into it and, as I mentioned, the paper trail was easy enough to pick up. But I must admit, the trail to you was quite the dead-end. Well done.”
“He’ll laugh in your face if you bring her to him.” You continued, but the air you breathed left the faint taste of blood in your mouth. “She ran out on him. You think he’d want to see her again?”
“Oh, I think he’s still hoping she’ll come home.”
The wicked look in his eyes told you all you needed.
“To protect his secrets, maybe. She knows every trick he has.”
“Secrets die with those who keep them.” Kaz mused as if it was his saying. “And the only ones worth keeping aren’t worth a life.”
“Oh, Saints.” You complained with your head dropped against the back of the chair, eyes cast upward. “You know no one is going to come for me, don’t you?”
Silence. Just the threatening tap of his cane on the floor.
“Her and I agreed that if either of us get caught by you or her father, we wouldn’t go looking for the other. It’s a good way to get us both killed so we sacrifice the other if push comes to shove.” You looked back at him. “And you’ve shoved.”
“No one is coming?” He asked. The question seemed innocent enough but the menacing way he spun his knife in his hand proved otherwise.
“Our secret dies with the other.”
“Meaning no one will hear your screams? You’ll cry out and plead. but no one will come… I almost feel sorry for you.”
“Hang on.” You tried and he pressed the knife to your collarbone, a few inches to the side of your snake tattoo. “I-“
“Giving in already?” He taunted.
You needed something to get the knife off of you, something to distract him. He didn’t seem all that interested in anything about your alleged leader. Maybe he knew all he needed about you on that front. Was there something you could ask him instead?
“She feels guilty.” You confessed suddenly. “About you. About Jordie.”
You flinched at the look he gave you.
“I don’t know who he is!” You lied quickly.
You hated that all your control, all your pose and power, fell away while you were strapped to the chair. You were helpless, at the mercy of the Bastard of the Barrel, the most notorious and merciless person in Ketterdam. Maybe you were out of your league.
“I’ve only heard the name… She says her father took everything and she wishes there was something she could’ve done. She wants to make things right.”
“Make things right?” He asked lowly before a rough, disbelieving chuckles left his lips. “Can she suddenly raise the dead? No, you see, she was a child. Just as I was. But breaking her in front of her father, taking the one thing he yearns for, now that just might ‘make things right’.”
“What happened to you?” You said desperately. “What changed?”
“The boy that girl told you about is dead.” Kaz explained carefully, as if saying those words took more effort than anything he’d ever done. “Kaz Rietveld is dead.”
“She doesn’t believe that.”
“What’s that old saying? Like calls to like? Believing that makes her more of a fool than you are… Where is she?”
“She’s in the Barrel.” You confessed carefully. The knife hit the ground but before you could feel any relief. a heavy fist connected with your jaw. Blood filled your mouth and you knew you but your tongue, hard.
“Tell me something I don’t already know.” He said, his voice holding a dangerous edge.
“No.” You managed through gritted teeth. “What will you do, hunt her? You’ll never find her.”
“What makes you think you haven’t led us to her already?”
Your mind raced. Had he or Inej seen you go to your most recent safe house? It was possible that he had been trailing you longer than you thought, but if that was the case, he’d know that there was no girl in the shadows leading the snakes. It was you.
It was a bluff.
“So string her up instead of me.” You sneered and shifted your feet, just able to brace your toes against the floor. “I tried to be civilized here, Brekker. But you know what I’ve learned?”
“Enlighten me.”
“You’re just a man. And all men can fall.”
His brows furrowed slightly and you threw yourself backwards. The chair hit the ground and broke with a loud crack. You got to your knees and were fiddling with the ropes that bound your wrists to the fragments of the chair when you had to drop to your back, the heavy crow’s head swinging past where you head would’ve been. You yelped and rolled to the side as it crashed into the floor in a high arc.
Finally, you freed your hands. However, the crow’s head landed against your same side again and the impact had you falling to your face. You coughed roughly and the ragged breathing and shooting pain had you fearing that your rib was broken.
With a whine, you climbed to a kneel.
Your eyes darted to your cloak before surveying for an escape route. You could go for the door but it was obvious and you knew the place would likely be crawling with Dregs. You weren’t getting out that way. Your only other option seemed to be the window.
You got to your feet and charged. You threw punches at Kaz, hardly any of them connecting. You growled slightly in annoyance at his ability to block your hits so you threw your elbow instead, smacking it to the side of his jaw. You followed it with a hard hook then a few body shots. You wanted to end it so you threw a hard kick for his head but he caught it.
He tilted his head in disappointment and you saw the blossoming red marks across his features. You watched his elbow lift, on a path to the side of your knee, and you reacted. You jumped and threw the other foot. It connected with his jaw and you both fell to the floor. You cried loudly and you landed on the rib.
You forced yourself up, ignored the dangerously threatening pain as you stood straight, and dashed for your cloak. Beneath it was the rest of your weaponry. You collected it in a hurry and climbed through the window.
“We’ll meet again, Kaz.” You warned, crouching in the windowsill. He had rolled to his back and you saw the cut your kick broke near his eyebrow. “Come for me before that, I’ll burn the Dregs to the ground.”
Then you were gone.
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meadowscarlet · 2 years ago
Text
inflicted desire ━━━ kaz brekker.
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pairings: kaz brekker x fem!reader.
summary: you were simply a crow and nina's closest friend, but kaz doesn't understand why he feels the need to be near you or protect you when you can protect yourself; he is closed off and unreadable, and he couldn't articulate his feelings properly, until you were hurt on the job.
warnings: the normal six of crows shenanigans.
author’s note: a reposted fic. do not copy, post on another site, translate or claim any of my works as your own or you will be reported! nav.
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Kaz Brekker did not make mistakes. He was a thief, not a fool, the Dregs' leader, and Ketterdam's most notorious man. He had a sharp intellect and was astute; no one ventured to cross him out of fear, or they were rational enough not to.
His plans were meticulous, and if something went wrong (which was unlikely), he had hundreds of backup plans ready to go. And everything went well, but there was a glimmer of realization that Kaz had made the biggest mistake of his life. It was bothering him, and he had a nagging feeling of uneasiness.
If he had merely noted when he met you—charming and intriguing—when he visited the House of the White Rose to inform Nina about a job; he should have simply ignored you when you passed him in the hall without a second glance, but Kaz had been effectively intrigued.
Nina told him that you were her closest friend and the one person in the White Rose who kept her sane. Nina was cautious, with a guarded gleam in her eyes and a reluctance that could get you killed in Ketterdam, when Kaz inquired whether you had any skills.
Nina had given Kaz a sharp gaze and said, “Recruiting her in the Dregs is dangerous.”
“Nina dear,” Kaz drawled. “It's dangerous everywhere in Ketterdam. And I think your friend would appreciate getting out of here every now and then.”
Nina told Kaz about your bewitching qualities with a little more trepidation. You were charismatic, a pretty face and a cunning smile that could tempt wealthy merchants to give you kruge and a wise convincer. Nina also mentioned that you had good combat skills. Kaz Brekker had smirked at the time, his thoughts racing. He was well aware that he needed you on his team.
That was his very first mistake. You were good at your work—you did a brilliant job and Kaz knew you were a terrific addition to the Dregs—but as the days passed, he began to have an underlying feeling inside him that he quickly dismissed whenever you were there. Kaz often wondered if he should have heeded Nina's advice about not recruiting you in the Dregs, but he'd been blinded by his curiosity, and he bitterly regretted it.
He recalled one mission in which they were meant to spy on a handful of Pekka Rollins' men. Kaz remembered how meticulously he had prepared for this; he had gone over blueprints over and again until his eyes were weary, but he would not rest—never. Kaz was scrupulous with his plotting especially since it involved Pekka Rollins.
When there's a lovely girl around and they're inebriated, men are simple to seduce. So, of course, your main task was to play the inquisitive girl, allowing men to reveal their drunken secrets while you sat, looking pretty. Despite the fact that you were skilled in this vicinity, Kaz didn't like the plan, but he needed Inej on the roofs and Nina by the door, so you were left as an option.
As he saw you woo one of Rollins guys, he felt a prickling sensation inside him. You were dressed in a velvety white dress that accentuated your contours; you stood out in the darkness of Ketterdam, and you shone brightly. Kaz may not believe in Saints, but he was convinced you were one by the radiance of your smile and dress.
He despised seeing you sitting on a drunk Dime Lion man's lap, and Kaz noticed you looked uneasy, so he fought the impulse to smash the man's head with his cane until his skull cracked satisfyingly. He reminded himself that this was a job, and he needed to do his part. Despite your unsettled expression, he could see your ears perk up, and that's when Kaz recognized the man had begun to speak.
Kaz watched you giggling and touching the man's forearm while drinking your drink; you were playing your part wonderfully as usual. And it all happened very quickly; when the drunken man leaned close to you, another man approached him to stop him, and Kaz realized the man knew who you were.
The man had said something to the inebriated man, and the latter had suddenly sobered up, and Kaz realized chaos had occurred. Because of the drink you drank, you appeared tipsy, but Kaz could see how your eyes flared in terror and your gaze immediately darted to him.
Kaz had set out on foot to get you, but Nina had beaten him to it. Nina had grasped your wrist and pulled you away in alarm before the man could grab you. Shots were being fired, and Kaz could see Jesper rousing his revolters to fire back at the men who were shooting at you and now at Jesper.
Kaz was so concentrated on the men and the bullets that he missed you limping in Nina's arms as he pulled his own gun. Nina wore a worried expression on her face and was essentially bearing half your weight. And Kaz could see it: there was blood on your abdomen that was obvious and evident through the white of your dress. As Kaz focused on you, gunshots faded into the background, and he was startled out of his reverie when Jesper told them to leave.
He didn't normally listen to Jesper because he was the one who gave the directions and commands, but now his feet followed Jesper's, his leg jerking in pain as he hobbled, yet his step was swift. He remembered the blood on your adobem, the way Nina's eyes widened, and he was filled with dread. It was terrifying. Since Jordie, he hasn't felt like this in years.
Kaz knew Inej was close behind him, quiet and concealed like the Wraith she is, as his Crows hurried to the Slat. As you limped beside Nina, Kaz could see you being held by her, and he turned to Jesper, a sensation inside him that he didn't want to convey.
“Run after Nina," Kaz rasped coldly. “Help her with Y/N.”
Jesper didn't need to say anything else as he ran to Nina, and when he caught up with both girls, he grabbed your waist and helped half of your weight as Nina and Jesper carried you to the Slat. Kaz despised hearing a hint of fragility in his voice, but Jesper didn't seem to mind.
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It didn't matter to Kaz if Nina could hear his rapid heartbeat. Kaz saw that the others were watching him as his eyes swept you laying on your bed with Nina mending your wound. Even though your face was pale and your breathing was unsteady, you were alive, Kaz was not soothed. Despite her concerns, Nina had been firm, requesting medical equipment from Matthias, who had followed orders.
Kaz isn't concerned about the Rollins information right now; all he wants is for you to be alright. He remembered your eyes widening in panic and searching for his first. He swallowed a lump in his throat and shook his head, focusing on you instead. And there was so much blood, Kaz gripped his cane tightly in his fist.
“Heal her,” he murmured.
Nina gave him a cold stare. “I'm trying, Kaz, but there's just too much blood.”
“I don't care,” Kaz said icily, his gaze matching hers. “Zenik, heal her.”
Inej had left, but not before praying to her Saints for you to be well. Jesper walked away as well, noticing the gloom in Kaz's voice and Nina's gaze. Matthias was retrieving more medical supplies, creating a tense atmosphere with only a feverish Kaz, an anxious but indignant Nina, and an alive yet barely Y/ N.
“You should leave, l'll get to you once l'm done,” Nina remarked as she resumed working in your wounded abdomen.
Kaz stood firm in his position. “I'm not going anywhere.”
With a shake of her head, Nina replied, “Your heartbeat is distracting me.” Kaz noticed her hand quivering. “I can sense your nerves, Brekker, and it doesn't help that l'm worried about her as well.”
He was terrified; he had shown vulnerability, and Nina had noticed. She knew he cared about you, and he had never experienced anything like it with anybody else. When Inej was stabbed, Jesper was shot, or Matthias, Wylan, and Nina were hurt, Kaz's heart didn't rush as rapidly. It was always you who made his heart race with nerves and a need to protect you if you were harmed.
When Kaz glanced at your hand, palm up, he felt compelled to grasp it. Not Jesper, who had brought you to the Slat, or even Nina, who stroked your hair away from your face every now and then, but he should be the one holding you and aiding you. But Kaz knew that idea alone was impossible; he couldn't think about it without shivering with distaste, so he stayed, a safe distance away, with a tremendous desire to hold you.
Nina fixed her gaze on him. “I assume she'll be a little hazy when she wakes up, so don't ask her any questions about the information.”
“I don't give a damn about the information,” Kaz remarked indifferently.
Kaz despised the mischievous glimmer in her eyes as she shot him a shocked glance. “Kaz Brekker not caring about the information that's about Pekka Rollins? Somebody pinch me.”
He gave her a skeptical look as he rolled his eyes. “Keep her alive by doing your work, Nina dear.”
Nina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes were gloomy. “She's not dead, Kaz,” she said with a shake of her head. “Since the blood loss, she'll be unconscious, but she'll be fine—she usually is.”
Kaz nodded in agreement. What Nina said was right; it was not uncommon for someone in the Crows to be hurt—it happens all the time, especially during heists and jobs—but the jobs were mostly successful, and Kaz had been blunt in assigning you the safest task (charming people) because a selfish part of him wanted you to be in the middle of the job so he could keep an eye on you.
But, despite his composed demeanor, he seemed to crumble everywhere around you. Perhaps you had charmed him, as you had charmed so many others, by bewitching him with your entire being, causing his black heart to seek you out. When you were around, there was always an inflicted desire within Kaz, which he had always disregarded until now.
Kaz wanted to kill the man who had touched you, as well as track down the person who had shot you. He remembered your bright eyes dampening in fear and a brief tremor of despair as you realized you'd been caught, then blood splattering across your white dress and Nina's worried expression as she carried your limping weight.
Nina snarled, “You're doing it again.”
With his dark eyes, Kaz looked at her. “What?”
“I know you love her and all, but I need to focus, and your heartbeat is incredibly distracting right now,” Nina rambled.
Kaz stilled as he heard the word he didn't want to associate himself with. “In Ketterdam, love is neglected; it is reserved for the weak.”
Nina surprised him by laughing. “What are you doing right now? Whenever Y/N is hurt, you appear weak—you're in your vulnerable form.”
Kaz wanted to kill Nina by saying things he knew were true, but he was ignorant and stubborn to accept it. Nina gave him a knowing look as she cleaned, healed, and wrapped a cloth around your wound before kissing you on the forehead and leaving Kaz alone with you.
Kaz strolled over to where you were laying after a few moments of contemplation. He examined your flawless face, which, despite seeming pale and near death, was nonetheless lovely. Kaz paused for a while before raising his gloved palm to your cheek and tucking the errant strand of hair away.
He sat down near your bed, putting his disgust aside. Despite the strong temptation, he did not grasp your inviting hand. Kaz had stayed by your bedside the entire night, never leaving your side. Nina had stopped by every now and then to change your bandage, but she had said nothing about Kaz's overstaying or even asked him to leave.
When Nina was treating your wound, she had said, “You should rest, Kaz.”
Kaz gave her a sidelong glance. “Don't tell me what to do.”
Nina may have been right, but she was also wrong. Kaz did not believe he was capable of love, yet he had a great desire to be with you. To be in your company, to receive your gorgeous smile, and to simply be in your presence. And this time he wasn't going to ignore it.
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reve-writes · 2 years ago
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—anger; kaz brekker.
ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 0,8k words. ʚ based off of this request. | kaz gets angry and finds comfort with the reader. ʚ established relationship; kaz is ok with being touched by reader. ʚ a/n i am a sucker for kaz being whipped. like this man is 100% the biggest softie for his s/o. we all remember the line from the book where he wanted to bottle inej's laugh and get drunk on it every night. if you have more kaz/grishaverse reqs my asks are open!
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Kaz likes to think that he has somewhat of a good grasp of his emotions. He puts on masks like turning the back of his hand. His favourite one, though, is the one he wears the most. Cool and polished, unfeeling. Stoicity that demands respect and fear—that instills intimidation.
It's not so easy to slip on that mask when his entire body practically hums with anger, his fingers twitch underneath the gloves. The desire to fucking hit something burning under the leather.
The reason is clear, being whispered in both fearful hushes and celebratory gasps: Pekka Rollins has been released from Hellgate.
Life has a way on turning a good thing into something bad. Kaz is used to it. He has come to expect it. Hell, he expects the Dregs to eventually fall apart. Expects the Crows to eventually leave him. Expects you to get fed up with him and pack your things.
He doesn't expect Pekka Rollins to be released—after all he's done to make sure the bastard ends up where he deserves to.
“Kaz—” An unfortunate Dregs member speaks, perhaps wanting to relay the message or simply making formalities.
Kaz spins around. The desire to swing his cane in a bone-breaking arc is there. He doesn't.
“Not one word.”
That's all he says. The air in the Crow Club turns suffocating—all tension and no reprieve. Everything is still being conducted as normal: barkeeps are serving drinks, gamblers are opening tables and customers are drinking and carolling. To those who know Kaz well enough, know his tells and his history with the leader of the Dime Lions, it feels like walking across a glass bridge. Every step is followed by the anticipation of falling through.
Jesper turns to look at Wylan, who glances at Nina and Matthias. The couple turns to Inej. The Wraith stares at you. Unspoken words are exchanged from across the room, over rowdy drunkards and laughing gamblers.
The door to Kaz's office on the second floor slams shut. A tremble goes through the frame. It gets lost quickly, swallowed by the hustle bustle of the Barrell, but you notice. Of course, you do.
You stare at the rest of your friends and find them looking back at you expectantly. Jesper tilts his head towards the stairs.
You sigh, putting up a hand towards them—your first two fingers are crossed over each other. Then, you're already on the steps, knocking at the door gently.
“Kaz?”
You hear a loud sigh.
“Can I come in?”
“You'll barge in anyway.”
You let out a soft chuckle and push the door open. He sits on his desk, one leg stretching out to balance his body while the other is bent. He shakes his knee idly. Both of his hands grab the edge of the desk that over hangs, fingers tapping periodically.
He spares you a glance under the brim of his hat and relaxes slightly. Your presence alone melts the tautness in his shoulders. It always does.
“Are you alright?”
“Never been better.” Sarcasm laces each word.
You sigh, approaching him. He doesn't flinch away when you step into his personal space—something that has taken years to work towards and you're grateful for the point you've reached together.
“It's inevitable, you know?”
Your words cut but they're nothing short of the truth. Someone as powerful as Pekka Rollins will eventually get out—it isn't a reach to conclude. Deep down, Kaz knows as well. He just likes to think that he finally is able to lock away that part of his past and throw away the key, but it always comes crawling back. Meaner than ever.
“I know, schatje,” he says, defeated.
You step closer and pull the hat off of his head. Your hand runs through his scalp to smooth out the flattened hair, combing through smooth, dark strands. He leans into the touch. One of his hands go to your arm and brings the inside of your wrist to his lips.
“Everyone was scared of you,” you tease, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. He raises an eyebrow. You add, “Well, more than usual.”
He lets out a huff—the beginning of a chuckle. “As they should be.”
“You are not-so-scary right now.”
He buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Only for you.”
“Ever the charmer.”
His arms come to rest around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he lets you soothe the anger—calm the storm inside him.
“We'll get him again, Kaz,” you say, pulling away slightly to look at him. “Together, okay? We've done it once. What's a second time?”
He hums. “You're right.”
“I often am.”
“Well, except for that time—”
“Kaz!”
It seems that you've successfully staved him off of being consumed by his anger, once again.
[ ]
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happynowyo · 2 years ago
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Stubbornness
Fandom: Six of Crows
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader
Warnings: mentions of traumas and touch aversion, Reader being a Healer
A/n: so here's the thing I wanted something angsty and smutty but could come up only with the first part tonight so I'll do another hot part in a few days to finish this completely.
Word count: 2,1k
Part 2
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— I don't need that, — the confident tone cut through the silence like a sharp knife, sending shivers down your spine for a second.
You might have believed it if you hadn't personally witnessed a couple of Dime Lions beating Kaz with such zeal that the crunch of his broken ribs was clearly audible in the empty valley.
So you continued to worry about him without listening to what was said. You paid far more attention to the quiet sighs Kaz let out with each step, leaning harder and harder on his bad leg, as you noticed the pained expression flickering in his eyes, though you had to hand it to him that he was using all his acting skills to pretend to be fine and make you leave.
— Stop being so stubborn! Even Matthias isn't afraid of my abilities anymore after I healed that bullet wound in his shoulder.
You determinedly followed Kaz into his room, letting the door slam menacingly. As a sign to Kaz that you wouldn't just give up and leave him to be alone with the pain. As a sign to everyone else in the Slat that no one was allowed to bother him anymore in the next couple of hours.
There was no relationship between the two of you. At least, that's what you both claimed when Jesper and Nina cast too many meaningful glances at you, and Inej carefully kept in a secret all those times she saw you leaving Kaz's bedroom before breakfast, knowing that you had spent the night with him. Saints, sometimes even you convinced yourself that you had nothing in common, even though certain details made it clear that your relationship had long gone beyond the professional.
If you didn't know Kaz personally, you'd think he was giving you conflicting signals. He was withdrawn and aloof, preferring to talk only about business. Even if he insisted and you spent the entire evening around him, he went about his deals as if he didn't notice your presence. His stern tone was used toward you as often as it was toward everyone else.
If you didn't know him, you'd be sure that Kaz Brekker was a cold, indifferent bastard who was only interested in kruge and the future death of Pekka Rollins. Calculating and cruel and completely incapable of basic affections. But in reality it was very different. The trick was not to take Kaz for an ordinary guy and not to see him as such. His difficult past had made him wear such armor that it had time to blend into his skin over the years.
In those moments when anyone else would have approached you with caring questions and a warm hug if you were suddenly hurt during the heist, Kaz would limit himself to a brief worried look, though later he would definitely comb down the person you were paired with. You once accused him of being incapable of showing any emotions, but you later realized that the Barrel had hardened him to show it in the most inconspicuous way possible, so as not to put you in any danger. Only the Saints know what Pekka or anyone else would have done to you if they had known about the secret feelings Kaz had for you.
When Wylan revealed that he knew a Healer, everyone took it with great enthusiasm. Even Kaz saw it as a good sign, and it made everyone feel a little more at ease about the tasks ahead, though you remembered to remind Crows to be careful. You could heal a lot, but it wasn't always instantaneous and serious wounds could take a couple of weeks to fully heal. The bigger problem was someone else's stubbornness - Jesper would drag himself to you almost every day with any simple cut, while Matthias or Kaz would literally have to be persuaded.
— I want to help. Let me, please.
Despite the soft shell, the authoritative tone was no deception to Kaz. He sighed heavily and, after a little hesitation, pulled off his jacket, ignoring the flash of pain around his shoulder. Who would have thought that Pekka's secretary was so good with knives?
— You're not supposed to be here, Y/n. He'll be looking for you. Did Pim let you in? — the curt speech was the proof of how much effort Brekker was making to hold back a painful groan and, God forbid, admit that he really needed some help.
You were bound to Anderson with an indenture and officially worked at one of his clubs along with the other Grishas. He was a part of the Merchant Council and was involved in key decisions regarding politics and trade in Ketterdam, which, however, did not stop him from accepting bribes, being under the wing of Pekka and running a real brothel in his club. Many men were really interested in spending the night with Grisha, though more often they ended up asking the girls to demonstrate their skills.
— Anderson is having a party tonight, along with a bunch of other great merchants. And you obviously knew that, since you'd snuck into Pekka's club, counting on the fact that he'd be among the other guests and his office would be empty. Why didn't Nina feel the heartbeat of the guards? — you were tired of the distance between you, so you approached first, gently helping to undo the buttons on Kaz's blood-soaked shirt. Your eyes tried desperately to catch his, but Brekker stubbornly looked away, trying to control the panic that was building up. Close bodily contact was still difficult for him, though his was making definite progress with your help.
— The Fabricator. Someone had worked on the office door, turning it into a veritable safe, through which it is impossible for Grisha to feel or hear anything. Someone from Dregs had told Pekka about our future attack.
Kaz looked angry, but you understood that he had already passed the stage of frustration with his subordinates and so was calculating his options as to who might had done it. His sharp mind was constantly at work, and it was clearly to his advantage now, since it distracted him from realizing how close your fingers were to his body. Phantom heat could already be felt, but it was nothing compared to what he was going to feel later.
You had tried some things before. Intimacy might have been expressed in different ways, but gradually you raised the degree higher and higher. Kaz was getting used to your presence more and more and it allowed him to push his boundaries a little further. Recently you were even able to spend the night in the same bed, separated only by the thin fabric of your pajamas. Before his trauma Kaz was a particularly tactile child, and you hoped to bring him back to that at least a little, showing him that physical touch didn't always have to be accompanied by pain and panic.
You remembered perfectly your first kiss. How timid and cautious it was at first. How desperate and greedy it became later, until a wave of anxiety swept over Kaz and made him pull away first. He focused on avoiding you for a whole week after that and was pretty sure that you were disappointed in his ability to control himself or that you were angry because of his attitude toward touching and the fact that he couldn't give you something normal. However, you managed to change his mind and you continued to take steps toward each other, guided by your growing feelings.
— None of that matters now. You took the papers you wanted, and I'll heal your wounds. We'll deal with everything else in the morning, okay? — you smiled encouragingly, and then you gently stepped closer, your fingers caressing Kaz's bare left side, trying to bind the broken ribs together. Your attentive gaze was fixed on Kaz's face the whole time, assessing and comparing, so that you could instantly catch the moment when the panic of too close contact would occupy his mind again.
— Will you stay? — Kaz finally stopped pretending that his brave solitude on that night was more appealing to him than your support.
— If you behave yourself, sweetheart.
You pulled his shirt aside and examined more closely many bruises and cuts that studded Kaz's torso. The open wound on his right shoulder demanded your attention first, so you gently nudged Kaz toward the bed so that he could sit on it and give you more space. As you worked, you couldn't stop gazing at him, admiring him openly, and your free palm lightly touched his hair, brushing back the strands that had fallen to his forehead. Tenderness filled your heart, and a wandering smile appeared on your lips that didn't escape Kaz's attention.
He liked these moments of comfort with you, and he expressed it in his own way, deciding to take the initiative and slowly run his fingertips from your knee up your thigh. You were standing almost between his legs and the height difference you created gave him an advantageous opportunity. Touching you was still new to Kaz, but the mind-fogging desire was too great and, at certain moments, overpowered any panic. And that's why he gently wrapped his arm around your wrist and pulled you toward him to make you sit on his lap, facing each other even closer.
— It's good you weren't there in his office. If Pekka finds out you're working with me, he'll definitely tell Anderson. They're great friends, it wouldn't cost him anything to get your indenture to himself, — Kaz' eyes were filled with pure hatred, and some part of you was glad it wasn't meant for you.
— You could buy me out. That way I would belong only to you.
— You already belong only to me, Y/n, — Kaz said confidently, in a wave of ghostly jealousy, not even paying attention to the fact that your palm moved to his face, healing his cheekbones from the horrible bruises.
— Only at night. You only claim me here, among these confined four walls, when no one can see or hear us, — you shrugged briefly, getting rid of the sadness in your voice. It would be foolish to expect a man like Kaz to drop everything and leave for a peaceful life. Ketterdam, power and the pursuit of money was everything to him. — Sometimes it takes an effort to remind myself of that during the day, when I don't know if I can see you again because people on streets are about to break the news of your death after another fight or because Anderson will sell me out to someone else.
It was harder to hear about it than to just know it and keep it in the back of his mind. You were the fairest and most beautiful girl for Kaz, the person he truly wanted to protect from everything and care about, and he was sickened by the thought that someone could take you away or hurt you somehow. The words swirled on his tongue, burning with its despair, and he needed to do something to hold on to that moment and cling to you, to prove that the only thing real now was you, your caressing touches erasing the painful sensation from his skin, and the heat of life itself that emanated from you.
The few times before all your kisses had come from you. Kaz had found it easier to accept touch than to touch himself, but now the need to be with you made him go with his urges, so his palm gripped your waist, pulling you closer, and his lips covered yours so hastily, as if he feared it was the last thing he would ever have time and ability to do in his life. But kissing him was still extremely satisfying.
So much that the desire instantly settled in your blood and made you more pliable. Your tongue slid playfully along his, and a convulsive, loud exhalation became yours in common. You unconsciously buried your fingers in his hair and pulled stronger, causing Kaz to moan briefly right into the kiss before he slowly pulled away with a completely shaken look and a bright smile and a glint in his eyes. And in that moment he looked a hell of a lot like his usual self, just a guy spending time with the girl he loved, and their only problem was not the prospect of death at the hands of rival gangs, but the question of whether they'd locked the door.
Although Kaz Brekker had another question stashed away — would you agree to wear that ring he bought for you so you could remember him and his feelings at all times?
Part 2
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everythingne · 9 months ago
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akin to a pride (multi-driver) masterlist
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f2 oc x f2/f1 drivers // fc: nina hillman
Reina 'Little Lion' Matsumoto is known for her reckless driving on the track, earning her the nickname she partly shares with a certain 3x WDC. Off the track, however, she's known for being bubbly, bright, and kind. When she's reached out to by F1 about joining their new 'Siblings Mentorship,' a program that will pair her with a 'similar F1 driver' as her mentor for the upcoming season, she fully expects Daniel or Lando.
Her surprise comes in the form of Max Verstappen, and though she thinks they won't be that much alike off track, she's quick to find it's quite the opposite. Reina learns she needs someone who understands what shes going through to lean on, and Max learns that sometimes healing comes in breaking a cycle that's not your own.
the lions come at night
Max accepts his mentorship role while the Horners discuss how the think Reina and Max will click together. Reina gets her acceptance letter and Red Bull gets the ball rolling by having their drivers meet up ahead of the season. A phone call threatens to ruin Reina's good mood, but Max has seen this all before, and knows the best way to deal with shitty fathers. Move on.
kintsugi
When brought to panic by ruthless reporters, Reina snaps and hits a reporter out of instinct. In desperation, Hana flies Max to London help her daughter out of a depressive episode caused by Reina thinking that she's more like her father than she ever wants to be. And Max realizes some things about who you call family.
log out! (SMAU)
a collection of times reina posts on her .jpg account, and one time she accidentally forgets to log out of her main.
full throttle
Reina isn't sure what happens first, if it's the Rodin driver in front of her who turns too wide, or if she understeers. But all she knows is she can't move, can't speak, can't breathe. And all she can think is 'No, not like last year. Not again.' Or, Reina crashes in the same way that took her previous season from her.
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onegianthotmess · 2 months ago
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Before Sunrise…
(Leona X Morel Domestic Fluff)
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Synopsis: It’s a well-known fact that Leona Kingscholar is not a morning person. He had never been. But that didn’t mean his sweet baby girl would let him rest in peace with his sweet wife in the wee hours of the morning.
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It was early. Far too early to be awake, even for the business that was Sunrise City. Even the palace staff that worked for the royal Kingscholar family was sluggish and sleepy for the most part.
Even so, the quiet giggles and pitter patter of itty bitty feet of a sweet little cub softly echoed through the quiet halls of the palace in which the Kingscholar family resided. Usually, Gardenia Kingscholar was just as sleepy as her father in the mornings and was always looking for an excuse to nap much more often than any other four year old cub. Though, with the promise of Leona taking her into the city for a rare papa-daughter day, Gardenia was too excited to even let her mother sing her to sleep, especially with how busy Leona had been the past few weeks.
And even though it was before sunrise and her parents were sure to be fast asleep in each other’s arms, Gardenia couldn’t help but crawl out of her bed and make her way to her parents’s room so she could wake up her papa.
Gardenia’s small footsteps quieted as she reached her parents’s bedroom door, somehow managing to silently creep into the room and sneak towards her sleeping parents. Curse those lion beastman traits, right?
“Papa!” Gardenia beamed as she climbed up onto the large bed to see her parents sleeping peacefully, Morel clinging onto Leona with her head in the crook of his neck while Leona was weirdly spread out as he normally was. Pouting yet undeterred, Gardenia crawled away from the edge of the bed and settled in a small gap between her parents and focused on her father, glaring at him. “Papa! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”
The cub bounced in place as she shook her father’s leg, her movement earning a tired groan from her father and a sleepy laugh from her mother.
“Kitty… Your daughter is awake,” Morel murmured through sleepy laughter.
Leona groaned, “Before sunrise, she’s your daughter, herbivore.”
“Papa!” Gardenia pouted crawling over Leona, who let out a groan of pain when his daughter basically kneed him in the stomach, and made her way to his head before she began to gnaw and chew on his ears, growling.
“Ow-Hey!” Leona winced, trying to gingerly remove his ears from his daughter’s impressively strong jaw while trying to pry her off of him at the same time, though with little success. “Nina, we talked about this! Papa’s ears aren’t a chew toy!”
It took a little bit, but Leona had finally managed to get his daughter off of him without any sort of injury to his ears aside from a bit of pain. The man held the white haired girl by the back of her soft nightie and gave her a deadpan, yet amused, look that silently told her to give up.
But, ever the stubborn cub, Gardenia pouted, “But you promised, Papa! You promised you’d take me out today! Didn’t Papa promise, Mama?”
“Oh, yes, I remember, Papa did promise,” Morel grinned, laughing at Leona’s annoyed expression.
“Seriously?” the lion beastman asked.
“It’s never too early to tease you,” Morel replied simply before looking to her daughter. “Is it, Dena?”
“No, Mama!” Gardenia agreed before focusing on Leona once more. “But Papa promised! Mama said so! So wake up! Up! Up, Papa!”
“Nina, the sun isn’t even out yet and you didn’t sleep last night,” Leona groaned, still too sleepy to make it a few moments without letting out a yawn. “Just sleep with me and Mama until it’s actually time to get up, okay?”
“But ‘m not sleepy!” Gardenia protested with a whine and a pout, her ears folded. Though, despite her protests, it was easy to see that the cub was incredibly tired. When she wasn’t yawning, she was rubbing her tired eyes or almost nodding off. It was clear Gardenia hadn’t gotten a full night of sleep and would need at least two hours or so more of sleep to feel fully rested for the day.
But, as tired as she was, Gardenia was just as stubborn as both of her parents and wouldn’t bend unless Leona folded or she was given something that made sleeping worth her while. With a sigh, the lion beastman gently set Gardenia down on his belly and looked to his wife, who’d been watching the funny and cute scene between the lion and the oh so stubborn cub.
“Morel, help me,” Leona murmured, earning a laugh from his small wife before she looked to their daughter and gently cupped the side of her head with one hand.
“Gardenia, I know you’re excited to spend the day with Papa, but you can’t spend time with him if you’re all sleepy,” Morel gently cooed, softly petting behind one of the cub’s soft little ears. “So sleep with Mama and Papa until it’s time to wake up, alright? You can cuddle Papa all you want if you sleep with us until the sun comes up.”
Gardenia perked up, “I can cuddle Papa all I want?!”
“Until it’s time to get up, yes,” Morel nodded before she snuggled closer to Leona. “But Mama might not share. She’s really comfy.”
“Hey, I want cuddles from Papa, too!” Gardenia pouted, quickly hugging Leona around his neck and snuggling into her usual curled up position on her his chest.
“Hey!” Leona groaned, but he was clearly amused given the laugh that left him. “I can cuddle both of you, but you can’t tear me in half in the process.”
“Shush! Sleepy time,” Gardenia shushed, curling up closer to her father as she yawned, just in the cusp of sleep.
“You just said you wanted me to get up, brat!” Leona retorted, earning a light and painless pinch to his ear from his wife.
“You heard your cub, Kitty; it’s sleepy time,” Morel smiled, yawning and hugging the beastman’s arm closer to her. “Nice, warm sleepy time.”
Leona laughed before he yawned, “I told you; before sunrise, she’s your cub.”
“Sure, sure, whatever you say, Princess,” Morel murmured sleepily. “I love you, Kitty.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Leona yawned, putting his head on top of Morel’s, “I love ya more, herbivore.”
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A/N: After three weeks, it’s done! I just got busy, even though this was just a little blurb-length post. I wanted some domestic fluff because Leona as a dad makes my brain happy for some reason-
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amsgrey · 2 years ago
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when you're ready
Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader (established relationship)
Kaz comforts you after you get hurt.
WARNINGS: Assault (kind of alludes to SA but not stated), please do not read if this might upset you, canon typical violence, traumatic event, talk of ptsd symptoms (reader and Kaz) not proofread.
note: This is really short because I have been crazy busy with uni work, but here's a little Kaz comfort.
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Nina held tight to your hand, laying next to you on your tiny cot. She watched quietly as Inej threaded a needle through the deep cut on your side. Your eyes were shut tight, trying to fight off the tears and nausea that built within you. Inej was being as gentle as she could, her fingers ghosting over your skin. She knew how you felt, she had been in your position too many times before. Your shirt was a bloody mess on the ground, leaving your skin exposed to the cold air that drafted through your open window.
"Almost done," Inej whispered, breaking the silence.
As she finished her work, you couldn't hold in the tears any longer. They fell silently down your cheeks as you tried to fight off the flashbacks burning through your mind. You could still feel the rough hands that had grabbed you, the fist that knotted your hair, yanking so hard on your scalp you feared it was ripped right out. You had tried to fight, to scream for the crows, but you were easily overpowered by the men who were easy twice your size. They bore the tattoo of dime lions, branded on their forearms that peaked out under their shirts.
Nina and Inej stayed with you the whole night, watching over you as you slept and reminding you you were safe when you woke crying. In fact, they stayed with you for the four days that followed. You couldn't bare the thought of leaving your room, Nina and Inej kept the other crows away and looked after you together. You still flinched at the sound of male voices, you knew it was irrational and ridiculous but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.
Nina had told you that Kaz was worried, but he knew you needed space and therefore would give it to you. A small part of you wanted to seek him out, but there was the nagging in the back of your head that he couldn't give you the comfort you were seeking.
"Kaz is sending us all on a job tonight," Inej had brought you a cup of tea, the two of you looking out the window down at the streets below.
You nodded, "Is Kaz going too?"
Inej shook her head, "He's staying here."
You nodded, watching her go and leaving you stewing in your room. After the sun had long since set, you cracked open your door and tried to get yourself to leave your room.
Stepping past the threshold had been the most challenging part, trying to force your feet to move from where they stayed glued. You had almost cried in frustration, this was your home, you should not have to feel so scared.
So you forged ahead, taking the first step out of your room and then another. And another. Until you were all the way at Kaz's door. You held your hand on the door handle, breathing heavily to try to quell the nausea in your stomach.
You recoiled when you heard footsteps on the other side o the door, stepping back when Kaz threw open the door with a scowl. You gaped for something to say, blinking back the tears that suddenly choked you. Kaz looked like he was about to scorn the person who lingered outside his door, when he finally looked at you the scowl vanished.
"Y/N," He said, so softly it wretched through your already crumbling resolve.
Kaz seemed to realize how distraught you were, he stepped to the side and ushered you inside his room. When the door was securely closed, you turned to Kaz and silently begged for what you came to see him for. You always tried to give Kaz space, not pressuring him for physical affection, but now you need it. Needed him.
Kaz didn't look caged like he often did when he was uncomfortable, instead, he grabbed you in his arms and held you tightly to his chest. You had never actually hugged Kaz, you had held hands and been close enough to kiss but never hugged. Somehow it felt so much more intimate than the touches you had shared before. Kaz held you to his chest as you cried quietly, finally letting the relief of safety wash over you.
You pulled away after a moment, trying to compose yourself, "I'm sorry," You whispered.
Kaz cupped your face in his gloved hands, "they won't hurt you again."
You had heard a few whispers about the slat in the last few days. Kaz had disappeared one evening and returned covered in blood, his cane stained red. It was always accompanied by whispers about his gloves or Dirtyhands does not need a reason. You knew there was a reason this time. How he had managed to track down and find the men who had attacked you was beyond you, you hadn't told anyone about who they were.
"Thank you."
You slipped past Kaz and sat down heavily on his bed, looking over his room. Kaz hesitantly sat down next to you, watching you with sharp eyes and waiting for you to show signs of being uncomfortable.
After a long moment, you let out a sigh, covering your face with your hands and trying to gather your thoughts. You could feel Kaz shift next to you, and then he placed a hand on your shoulder to try to comfort you.
"I'll be here," Kaz promised, taking back his hand because he didn't know what exactly to do, "when you're ready to talk."
You nodded, "I know."
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averagewriter-inthedark · 11 months ago
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Eye of The Storm ⛈| Six of Crows Imagine
Takes place during the events of Shadow & Bone S2
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My Masterlists
Characters & Pairings: Crows x Squaller/Saint!Reader (platonic), Kaz Brekker x reader (slight/eventual)
Content Warnings: fighting, blood, profanity, cannon divergence | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4.9k
Requested 📨: yes/no
Premise: As the Crows make their way back to the Slate following their climatic dethronement of Pekka Rollins, they are ambushed by his supporters with no plan of action to escape. As they slowly accept their fate, what was once a clear night is rained upon with lightning and thunder in its wake. Having beat the odds of meeting one living Saint in their lifetime, the Crows are stunned when their savior, a player in the ever unfolding drama in Ravka, is the legend in stories of restoring life in the world when all hope was lost.
Note: although the Saint name I give is not Y/n, it’s still a reader insert and explains more at the end (it’s not an OC) also I know Zoya is called Sankta Zoya of the Storm but I have yet to get to her arc so for this the reader has powers equivalent to her
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The sirens had finally seized, concluding the hysteria in the streets of Ketterdam once it was revealed the Firebox outbreak was a hoax. Constructed by none other than the Bastard of the Barrel and his thieves amongst men, the Crows. After years of heated tension, and guided vengeance, against Pekka Rollins, Kaz Brekker succeeded in his plans of putting down the Lion that had ruined his life. Constant mental torture as he manuevered his players on their chestboard now able to rest.
“Where were you?” His voice was raspy, face still painted with his blood from the beating as he addressed Inej when she appeared from the shadows. They had been making their way back to the Slat. Nina, Wylan, and Jesper were flanked beside him, the dimly lit street light shining down on the group. Inej had been the only one not accounted for, flooding Kaz with anxiety mixed with anger that she strayed from the plan.
“I--.”
A gloved hand came up, stopping her. “Actually, I’d rather not hear what you have to say.” he wanted to shout. Reprimand her for being so foolish. Voice how her actions could’ve gotten her or one of them hurt because they had no idea where she was.
Despite these desires, the pain in Kaz’s body was too much and he was in need of a strong drink. Inej narrowed her eyes, but the man brushed past her leaving the others to send her looks of sympathy. Falling in step, the group followed behind Kaz, making note of how empty the streets were at that time of night. It was eerie. Yeah they may have caused an uproar with their little stunt, but they assumed there’d still be people out and about.
Dance halls and clubs are empty. The markets closed for business. Not a soul in sight. Wylan was the first to speak, “I’ve never seen it this quiet.”
“Very odd if I must say,” Jesper agreed, unconsciously letting his hands fall to where his guns strapped to his belt. His intuition was picking at his brain at the feeling that something wasn’t right.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s plotting now that Pekka is gone,” Inej made note of their surroundings. They were only a block from the Slat. Soon they’d be in the comfort of their home, able to bask in the relief they pulled their task off. A warm cup of tea by the fireplace before it came time for bed. Inej was looking forward to it.
But unfortunately, fate had other plans.
Nina suddenly froze, “Stop,” all movement seized, heads turning to the heartrender. Unease consumed them as they took in the sudden paleness of her appearance. “I hear heartbeats.” There was a subtle gulp, the woman adding in a low tone, “a lot of heartbeats.”
Tensing, they were met with the sounds of footsteps approaching from every angle. Inej pulled out her knives, as did Jesper with his guns. Wylan clutched his satchel to his chest, thinking of what he could use to help them out of this situation, though the odds were not looking good. Meanwhile, Kaz reversed his steps while the others spun around, the Crows forming a circle with their backs to one another, Kaz keeping space between him and Jesper. Allowing them a full view of the square.
They watched the herd of men step into the light. Revealing themselves with menacing eyes filled with vengeance. Kaz tensed, recognizing them as Pekka’s men.
Well the ones still loyal to the King of the Barrel. Several had already pledged their support to Kaz or took the chance to ditch town while they had the opportunity. Yet, here was a group of at least twelve, likely part of Pekka’s inner circle who’ve taken the actions of Kaz more personally. Those who refused to kneel. The young criminal should’ve known better than to expect a sudden shift in power would come easily to him.
“We have no business with you, gentlemen,” Kaz spoke with a level of calm that surprised even him. Deep down he was consumed with nerves seeing he and the Crows were severely outnumbered.
“Oh, but we do,” a gruff voice replied. Kaz’s eyes drifted to the owner, who’s hand mavuevered over his gun. “See, some of us are not too pleased with your little show tonight, Brekker. And we’ll be damned before claiming you as the King of the city.”
Jesper tilts his head slightly, whispering under his breath, “What do we do, boss?” Beside him Wylan was visibly freaking out. Nina raised her hands, ready to counter any attacks while Inej tightened the grip of her knives.
“This is it,” Kaz thought, clutching onto his cane. No ideas surfaced to help them escape. Accepting his time was up. Though he was going to fight for his Crows, the Bastard of the Barrel was ready to come to terms with his fate.
But before anyone could make the first room, a crack of lightning followed by its booming thunder shook the ground. Several flinched, including the crows, some of the Dime Lions stumbling by how close and sudden the element was to them. Rainfall began to pour down the once clear sky. Dark clouds covering the stars and skies.
The rain was thick, drenching everyone from head to toe. Their clothes became heavy. Had it not been for the skewing of their visibility, making them struggle to see where they were, they’d be annoyed by their state. But there were more important things at stake.
The storm made it hard to see. Only getting a glimpse of shapes and figures when flashes of lightning in the near distance hit the earth. Coupled with its thunder. Kaz barely could make out the enemy, bringing his cane up for any sudden attacks.
“What’s happening?” Wylan shouted, gurgling when the water hit mouth. “What do we do?”
“I-I--,” Kaz stuttered, the feeling of nausea swarming him at the cold, wet, rain hitting his face. It brought him back to the worst days of his life. Floating on top of cold, wet, bodies in the harbour, begging the Saints to save him. The man wanted to crawl away and hide. Yet the fear of not knowing what waited for them when the rain stopped kept him from falling to his knees in a panic.
“Hey! You there!” the same man from before shouted, Kaz squinting his eyes to see him raise his gun only to be thrown back by an invisible force of wind. His partner beside him went down next, though what hit him appeared to be a beam of light.
Kinda like a lightning bolt.
“What the hell was that?!” Inej shouted over the thunder.
‘A Squaller?’ Kaz thought to himself, watching another bout of wind sweep his oncoming attacker off their feet. He had not heard of another Grisha roaming the streets of Ketterdam. Surely if a squaller were inhabiting the area he’d know.
Using the butt of his cane Kaz knocked him out unconsious. When he glanced back up, his eyes landed on a cloaked figure standing on the roof of a nearby building. The rain made it impossible to make out their face. But judging by the way they moved their hands, and the fact his enemies were being bombarded by gusts of air, their savior was in fact an Ethereaki.
But what kind exactly?
At first Kaz believed they had to be a Squaller due to the wind. Yet, he then witnessed the rain shift direction, and water from a puddle shoot up to hit a man about to attack Wylan. A Tidemaker would better fit that description, however Kaz wasn’t aware of a Grisha able to control both air and water.
“I don’t know,” Jesper responded, shooting at an assailant he saw racing toward them, “But I’ve never been so happy for a thunderstorm as I am now.” At that moment Kaz realized nobody else noticed the mysterious person on the roof. His attention turned to Jesper beside him, oblivious to the help he was getting from a fellow Grisha. Turning back to the roof, expecting to see the cloaked individual, but they were gone.
As the fight commenced the storm ensued. Thunder overpowering the sound of pelting rain and gunshots. The Crows fought for their lives as the number of Dime Lions against them decreased. Nina managed to incapacitate several as did Jesper and Inej. The fight came to a climatic end with the last one standing was, quite, literally, hit with a lightning bolt causing the Crows to freeze where they stood.
Smoke filled the space, and when it cleared they were met with the mysterious being. Rain pelting down on them, however they seemed to pay no mind. As though it were a natural occurrence. It was still hard to see them. The streetlight candles had been blown out from the rain and wind, and the moon was covered by the clouds. Both those combinations obscured the face of their savior.
Nina raised her hands, ready to defend the group but Kaz motioned for her to stop, causing confusion amongst the rest. Who was this person and what did they want? And why was Kaz not doing anything?
“Well,” their voice, a feminine one at that, breached the once silent square. “That was entertaining if I’m being honest. Been a while since I’ve squabbled with angsty men,” she chucked, “but I was in dire need of practice.” Now hearing the woman speak clearly, they were able to identify her Ravkan accent. For Nina, her heart nearly stopped.
“I know that voice.” she felt the eyes of everyone, including the woman, on her. Hands lowering to her side, Nina's face etched into pure astonishment. Adding more confusion to the group who were at a loss of who this woman was.
“Oh!” The woman chuckled, not commenting on Nina’s words, “Apologies for the storm, let me just--,” they watched in stunned silence as her right hand rose, displaying a motion before the rain slowed and stopped altogether. Then with two fingers, she waved them around causing the clouds above to dissaperate, allowing the moon to shine down.
“Did she just--.” Jesper whispered to Inej, who’s expression resembled that of witnessing a miracle. “Can squallers summon thunderstorms? I thought that was a myth.”
Inej blinked rapidly, voice so low the others barely made out her reply. Tone in absolute awe, “Only one can.”
“One?” Kaz repeated, feeling a wave of unease beneath his skin.
Water from puddles splashed as the woman walked forward, stepping into the ray of light. The Crows, now able to see her fully, were greeted with her (y/h/c) hair and bearing dazzling grey eyes like the storm clouds she’d summoned. She appeared to be slightly older than the group, possibly by a few years. Then again Grisha were known to age slower than regular folk. For all they know she could be in her 50s. Look at the Darkling, who passed as a man in his early 40s to the naked eye but had lived for nearly 400 years.
Adorned in a deep grey kefta, the white and blue embroidery etched on resembled lightning bolts along with tiny drops of rain. It was unlike any kefta the Grisha wore. Those in the Ravka’s Second Army, with the exception of the Darkling, wore certain colored keftas and embroideries to signify their order. But to the knowledge of the Crows, no Grisha wore grey.
“Saints,” Nina gasped, jaw dropping slightly, causing the woman to smirk.
“Now, now,” she playfully tsked, “I’m not above swearing, but considering that applies to me….” her smirk never faltered, “I’m sure you can understand.”
Jesper’s head spun, looking between his comrades to see they were reacting the same way, “I’m sorry, are you saying that you’re--.”
Nina beat him to it, “Sankta Imber of the Drought.” Inej gasped, as did Wylan. The former repeated the name in wonder, falling to her knees in respect, “Sankta Imber….”
Kaz tightened his grip on his cane, mind racing to remember the tale behind the name. Who’s story was passed down from generation to generation for centuries. Who, like the Darkling and the Sun Summoner, was said to be either myth or once lived but suspected of perishing long ago.
Legends say that Sankta Imber of the Drought had been born in the century following the creation of the Fold. A farmer's daughter in the region of East Ravka, her family lived through the period where the country was stricken with a severe drought lasting over a hundred years, beginning not long after the Black Heretic disappeared. With no rain bringing water to the crops came a deadly famine. Hundreds of people and animals were lost, not only due to starvation and dehydration, but also illness. The economy in all of Ravka crumbled. Both States were fighting against each other for resources, as the food supply from East Ravka to West was now scarce. An increase in fires and dust bowls destroyed a lot of ecosystems, further deteriorating the country.
What was left of it that is.
There was little to no hope, with even prayers to the Saints to help them becoming meaningless words. Those still worshiping begged for a savior. The one who would bring the rain and storm. Ending the drought. Releasing them from the famine.
The idea a Squaller could summon a powerful storm was unheard of. Being able to bring forth powerful winds, rain, and possibly lightning and Thunder? Surely a Grisha of sorts would be only known by folklore. Especially given Tidemakers were the ones to control water.
Yet, it all changed one day as the 104th year of the drought approached.
“You’re more powerful than you think, Imber,” Baghra's stern voice echoed in the cave. Sitting opposite of her, with her head down and tear stains painting her cheeks, 15-year-old Imber Egorova made a sound Baghra could only assume was a whimper. “Denying it will do you no good. It will do this country no good.”
“How do you know?” The girl whispered, voice hoarse from crying following another gruesome 12 hour training day. “What makes me different from any other Squaller here?” She referred to the 20 other Squallers residing on the Little Palace grounds. Though some trained with the renowned Gisha teacher, none experienced the level of intensity Imber did.
“No Squaller here has shot someone 80 yards by their power during an exercise,” Baghra rebutted, causing Imber to wince at the memory. The reason why she was suddenly called to Baghra’s cave in the first place. From then on Imber barely got a lick of sleep or time to eat a proper meal.
The older woman gave a pointed look, “nor have they been able to summon electricity.” Ignoring Imbers stunned expression, she continued, “yes, girl, I know what you did when your sister’s heart stopped before you came here. Why your family was so willing to let you go after the testers proved you were Grisha,” Baghra leaned back in her chair, face void of emotion. “Ravka has not seen more than a few inches of rain since this drought began. No storms. And with the famine,” there was a light pause, “It’s claimed more lives than the Fold.”
Imber shuddered at the mention of Ravka’s darkened entity. Not wanting to think about its black abyss swimming with volcra.
“The point is, child,” Baghra captured her attention once more, “Besides the Sun Summoner, you could be the one to end part of Ravka’s suffering. But that will not happen if you cannot believe it yourself.”
Weeks shy of her 16th birthday, Imber received a letter from her father, which would change not only her world, but the one around. After contracting a bacteria from contaminated pond water, her mother and sister succumbed to a deadly illness after only a week. Her father had buried them on their land by the dead oak tree where they used to have picnics before Imber was taken to the Little Palace.
Distraught and riddled with unbearable pain, Imber collapsed to her knees in the middle of the courtyard, crumbling the letter in her hands. Her peers were silent, staring at her with sympathy. Unsure of what to say to the grieving teen, despite many knowing the exact feeling Imber was feeling.
Sorrow, anguish, regret. Never having the chance to correct wrongs or make memories with the loved onces they longed for. The cries of the Grisha filled the otherwise silent courtyard.
Suddenly, a rumble came from the sky..
Imber didn’t hear it over the sound of her sobs. Her companions, however, drew their attention upward, where they were greeted by a sight unimaginable. What once was a clear blue canvas, barely any clouds to begin with, transformed to that of a dark shadow. Wind, so powerful they thought a Squaller was responsible, nearly sent them off their feet.
“What’s happening?” A girl shouted, though they had difficulty hearing her due to the mix of rumbling overhead and breeze of wind.
“I don’t know!” the boy, a Tidemaker, beside her squinted, “Imber!” He lifted a hand to protect his eyes while focusing his view on the kneeled Grisha. A flash of light where her hands were plaed on the ground had him flinching. ‘What in the---.’ The spark occured once more. Chills filled his entire being as his eyes became saucers, falling to a whisper. “Saints above.”
Witnessing the sparks, an Inferni moved closer, ignoring the warning sent by the Tidemaker. “What is she doing?” His answer came by being blasted back by a gust of wind.
Imber let out a broken scream, head tilting back toward the sky as bolts of lightning released from her hands, igniting bouts of thunder in its wake. Gasps and shouts echoed around the Squaller from fellow Grisha and palace guards. The group behind her ran to find cover as the wind became too much, sending barrels and crates flying. Lightning and thunder, the duo reuniting as lost friends.
A sight to behold.
As the tears rolled down Imber’s cheeks, heavy rain soon replaced them. Drenching the lands of East Ravka for the first time in a hundred years.
For hours the girl remained kneeling on the grounds of the courtyard. Alone as everyone had seeked shelter within the Palace walls, letting the water from above coat her. The kefta she bore grew heavy. She paid no mind to it.
It wasn’t until she began to shiver from the freezing atmosphere that Imber retreated inside. Coming face to face with the reality of what transpired. As two guards escorted her to the throne room, Imber barely took notice of her peers watching the storm draw on from the windowsills. Some glanced at her in a mix of wonder, awe, and fear. Fear at the unknown, but wonder at what will be known.
Entering the throne room Imber was greeted by the King, Queen, Baghra, and the General of Ravka’s Second Army. Whereas the country’s monarchs were visibily bewildered at Imber, Baghra appeared impressed in comparison to the General’s excitement. Nerves consumed her on top of the immense grief Imber was experincing. Rain continued pelting the windows and roof of the Little Palace. Every once in a while, the occupants in the room flinched at the crack of thunder.
Upon making eye contact with the King, Imber bowed her head, curtseying as best she could with the weight of her soaked kefta. From there she underwent an hour of intense interrogation at the hands of the King and General. Baghra was questioned as well. Admitting she suspected the scale of Imber’s power but decided to stay quiet until the time came. The General, while pleased to know the world’s most powerful Squaller was among his ranks, voiced concern at the possibility of their enemies discovering her.
“Ravka has been praying for the day storms finally wash over her,” his tone was calm, almost haunting. Imber couldn’t look away as he moved toward her, tear stains painting her cheeks. “To save them from this wretching drought. Bring an end to this famine that has wiped away countless lives. Rain has touched grounds for the first time in over a century, Miss. Egorova. The people of Ravka are going to celebrate you. Erect statues on your name for being the hope they prayed for all these years.” he halted directly in front of her, keeping hold of her gaze it sent another wave of chills not relating to the cold clothes Imber wore.
“You are now the symbol of this dark period coming to its end. You are Sankta Imber of the Drought.”
“The storm lasted a fortnight, dispersing across Ravka’s lands until every inch had been touched by lightning. Yet the rain continued for months on end after the winds disappeared,” Nina recited the story etched into her brain. The crows silent as they took in her words. “Many say it was the raw grief of Imber losing her family that the storms were so strong. The constant rain marked as a symbol of her time in mourning.” The crows familiar with loss could relate. Kaz, Jesper, and Inej looking elsewhere than the Grisha.
Nina let out a breath, “Now whenever a powerful storm appears in Ravka, locals believe it to be Sankta Imber reminding them they will never experience a drought again. Famine will never touch their lands so long as she remains. Rain will be their protector, and she will be its champion.”
At the end of the Heartrender’s tale, Imber clasped her hands behind her back. “Nice to see my reputation still precedes me after all these years.” Chuckling, she took another step toward the group, “Still odd to hear myself spoken like a myth when I still live and breathe the same air as you.”
Again, no words could describe what the Crows were feeling at that moment. No one however was more shocked than Nina herself. And her reasons were far more than just being in the presence of a living Saint. “But you…”
Imber’s smirk turned to a soft smile, “Been some time since our last acquaintance, Nina Zenik.”
All eyes turned to the brunette, Kaz the first to speak, “What?” Not only was his mind racing, but now it was full of questions and doubts. They knew each other? But judging by Nina’s reaction, it was not all that meets the eye. She was stunned beyond belief like they were. “Care to explain, Zenik?”
Tensing by the tone of his voice, Nina sent him a light glare, “I don’t know her as Sankta Imber,” her eyes returned to the Grisha, this time showcasing betrayal as the memory of the woman in a blue kefta like her fellow Squallers appeared in her mind. “But as Commander Y/n Tempestasov of the Second Army.” Everyone felt the shift in the air at the mention of the Darkling’s army.
Why was one of the Darkling’s soldiers, a Saint at that, coming to them in the middle of the night? Traveling across the sea and saving them from Pekka’s men. There had to be a reason.
Kaz tightened the grip he had on his cane. Thinking back to events of the past several months. He would’ve recognized Imber, or Y/n, whatever she wanted to be called--at the Winter’s Fete. The kefta was unique; it would've captured anyone’s attention. As a powerful Squaller, Kirigan surely wanted her close to his side. Yet the Grisha had not been present on the skiff nor did Alina mention anything of meeting another living Saint.
Then there was the fact that the legends of Sankta Imber of the Drought were from nearly 300 years ago. It was believed she had died or dissapeared roughtly 20 years after she brought the storm to Ravka.
Meaning she’s been hiding in plain sight for centuries. A ghost among the living. Playing the role of a Second Army soldier under a false name to preserve her identity.
Another chuckle brought Kaz out of his thoughts, “Allow me to fill in the blanks, Crows,” Imber smirked at their reaction, “yes I know who you are. Do not doubt Nina’s loyalty--the last time we saw each other I was a different person. Roughly eight years if I’m correct,” bringing a hand to her chin, the Saint acted like she was deep in thought, “You’d only just arrived at the Little Palace before I escaped.”
“Escaped?”
Imber retained her posture, more serious than the initial laid back she had presented, “You’ve witnessed the evil General Kirigan is capabale of first hand.” they stayed silent, but each of their expressions faltered. “I discovered the scale of it a long time ago, after he made me a prisoner of the Little Palace under the guise of a trainer.” Nina bowed her head, the memory of Commander Y/n paroling the grounds where the Etherealki trained. She always appeared detached, but was kind to the young Grisha who had not yet succumbed to the corruption of the Darkling. “He was responsible for everyone believing I had died or dissapeared. After instilling fear in me at the thought of being captured by enemies, he had me locked in the caves of the Little Palace.” Inej let out a gasp, face consorting with sadness.
Imber shrugged, “sooner or later people stopped searching for me. Unaware I was close the entire time despire my storms becoming a blanket over Ravka for years. I was all but the myth you’ve heard.” Turning her head to Nina, Imber offered a soft smile, “It was years before he let me out. When he did I was named Commander under a false name and trained Grisha for centuries. Changing my name each time he did because someone asked too many questions and we had to clean up his mess. Y/n Tempestasov is the recent name of the many I’ve gone by. Frankly it’s my favorite if I’m being honest.”
“Would you prefer it if we called you that?” Wylan raised his hand, resulting in a side eye from Kaz at his formality. The Saint, however, smiled at him, “I’d like that. Imber Egorova…” she trailed off, connecting her gaze with Kaz as though she read him like a book. “She is of the past.”
Ignoring the weight on his chest, knowing damn well what the Saint was refering to, Kaz changed the subject. “Enough sentiment. You still haven’t said why you’re here.” The sound of his cane echoed on the pavement when he moved closer to her. “The Darkling might be dead but how are we to trust you’re not doing his bidding.”
The woman scoffed, obviously offended by the assumption, “Believe me, I hate the man more than anyone. Probably more than you and Alina combined.”
Jesper made a face of shock, voicing what they all thought, “You know Alina?”
“She sent me,” Y/n mused, shocking them more when she added, “And Kirigan is alive.”
“How is that possible?” Inej wondered aloud, unable to grasp the news.
“Turns out his own creation did not kill him after all. Instead he used merzost to create shadow monsters. Monsters that can only be destroyed with a certain blade that, like me, is also a legend.”
“Neshyenyer,” Kaz narrowed his eyes, waiting for her to call bluff. Y/n smirked in response.
“That is where you come in. We have some mutual friends, and they sent me to retrieve you lot to find the sword. Said you were the best of the best.” Hand going into her pocket, she removes a rolled parchment tied with a ribbon. “For your cooperation, the King of Ravka plans to generously compensate you.” She held it out to Kaz, “For you, Dirtyhands.”
He ignored the name, deciding not to question the depth of her knowledge on him and the Crows, and instead took the parchment. Once unfolded, he read the message inked onto its surface, detailing the extent of the mission and amount of kruge to be paid. He stopped at the name signed at the very end, ‘Nikolai Lantsov.’
‘Mutual friends,’ he remembered she said. Intuition telling him it was not only Alina and Mal the Saint referred to. Only person Kaz recalled that could likely be said aquaintance was a certain privateer.
Footsteps wandering away had the man look up, finding Y/n to take her leave. Kaz and Jesper flanked to his sides, the whole group watching her depart. “Come along, Crows,” she called out, the playfulness returning. “A storm is approaching.” light rain began to fall once more, followed by the sound of thunder in the distance. Kaz pictured the smile on her face by the tone of her voice. “And we’ve got work to do.”
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rainydaymiscellaneous · 2 years ago
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Into the Fire (Kaz x fem!reader)
Summary: after time in Hellgate, your sister makes a bargain to break you out.
Warnings: A lot of violence, discussions of sickness and serious injury, mentions of suicide and murder
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It had all happened so fast. You were blamed for a murder, a murder you didn't even commit, you were the one that happened across that damn body. No doubt the works of Pekka Rollins after you declined the invitation to the Dime Lions. You were a valuable asset, there was no doubt. You were extremely intelligent, knew your way around locks and could charm the most stubborn men. Pekka needed to one up that son of a bitch that was trying to take that title of "King of the Barrel" from him.
Your sister, Dahlia immediately tried forming a plan when she heard from a friend about someone who might take a deal to help her. So she saved up, working beside Nina.
"Good luck trying to convince that good for nothing bastard" she'd tell her. Still, Dahlia had heard enough to know that this Brekker man was simple if you had enough Kruge. Finally she filled up five jars of it, walking into the Slat with hesitance.
"Who's that?" Jesper asked Inej who was sitting next to him.
"No idea." She said confused, watching the girl look around. She turned to the two who were staring.
"Where can one find a mister Brekker?" She asked. Jesper almost let out a laugh. Very rarely had he heard a "Mister" be put in front of Kaz's name.
"Uhm.. I'll uh.. find him." Jesper said getting up. Inej looked at the girl. She was pretty. Too pretty to be standing in a place like this without purpose.
"Kaz. There's uh..." Jesper let out a small laugh. "There's a girl wanting to speak with you out there." Jesper said. Kaz looked up from his desk, holding papers with his gloved hands.
"She say why?" He asked, looking back down.
"No but I'll tell you, she looks out of place." He said. Kaz sighed.
"Ask what she wants. If she's a whore, send her out."
"And if it's something else?"
"Send her here, I suppose."
Jesper walked out, the girl looking up. "Is he here?" She asked.
"What's your business?" He asked.
"I... I need help." She said.
"Are you wanting to join?" Inej asked.
"Join? Join what?" She asked confused. This girl had to be a serious fish out of water.
"You're definitely not from here, are you?" Jesper asked.
"No, look can he see or not?" She huffed.
"If you're from the Menagerie, he's not interested." Jesper said.
"I'm not from the fucking Menagerie!" She said, clearly annoyed.
"Okay... well. Let me see-" "Is that his office?" She asked. "Well-"
She shoved past Jesper, Inej standing up shocked as she walked into Kaz's office. "I need help." She said. Inej ran in.
"Seriously!? What is your problem!?" Inej asked, grabbing her arm.
"Let me go!" She yelled.
"You can't just barge in-"
"I HAVE MONEY!" she yelled.
Kaz looked up finally at the chaos. "Let her go." Kaz said. Inej looked at him with uncertainty but let go after his stern gaze. He motioned to a seat in front of his desk. "Sit." He said. Dahlia sat down, glaring at Inej as she left. Jesper pointed at the door, silently asking if Kaz wanted it closed. He nodded, Jesper closing the door as he went to calm down a pissed off Inej.
"What's this I hear about you needing help?" He asked.
"My sister got framed for murder. She's in that god damn prison, she's been there for almost a year." She said. Kaz rose a brow.
"She's in Hellgate?" He asked.
"Yes." She said. "Have a good day, close the door on your way out." Kaz said, Dahlia frowning.
"Now hold on-"
"Grab a drink if you'd like. Just go." He said. She slammed a jar of money on his desk. He looked up.
"I've got five more of these." She said. He leaned back in his chair.
"How do you know she was framed?" He asked.
"She's not exactly the person to kill a man. Steal his wallet, sure. Murder isn't something she'd be able to do." She said. Kaz sighed.
"Who framed her?" He asked.
"Some gang leader. Uhm... Pekka something." She said. Kaz's blood ran cold.
"What?" He asked.
"She got noticed by him. He made her an offer, she said no and one day on her route back home, she found a body and he had her arrested." She explained. Kaz frowned, staring at the jar of money.
"Five more of these?" He asked.
"Yes." She said. He sighed.
"Fine. But you aren't going with us. You'll wait the Crow Club, do I make myself clear?" He asked. She nodded.
"Thank you." She said relieved.
"Don't thank me yet, I haven't freed your sister yet."
Your eyes had become used to the dark from the prison you had been trapped in. Your hands were bound to the floor by the shackles as the smell of piss and blood hung in the air. You debated every day on just strangling yourself with your chains but you knew Mediks would revive you as quickly as possible.
"Psst" you heard. You lazily looked up to see Quincy, a guard you had charmed into being your friend. He tossed you a piece of bread. You mouthed thank you to him, him nodding quietly as he turned his back to the cell as if he were guarding it. He was the small bit of light in such a bleak place. You heard footsteps of other guards pass.
"What time is it?" You asked in a low whisper.
"Three in the afternoon" he said softly. You leaned your head on the wall, letting out a shuddering breath. In a week, it would have been one year since your capture.
You wondered if Eloise was alive, if she was still at home. You two parted ways when she was eighteen, you leaving for Ketterdam. You recalled her saying something about moving during your trial but you had no clue if she had gone through with it. You missed the fresh air of the outside. The air here was stale, it reeked of death. It didn't help that Hellgate was basically caught in a draft of air where the smells of a nearby island that was inhabited by the dead.
Each breath you took felt heavier and more horrible than the last. When you first arrived, you thought you had been put in the wrong area, however it seemed you were wrong. You were one of the few women housed in this wretched place.
"We're doing WHAT" Jesper asked.
"Unfreakingbelievable." Inej said, putting a hand to her head.
"She's paying." Kaz said.
"And if the bitch paid you to jump off a cliff?!" Jesper asked.
"Eh. Depends on the amount." He shrugged.
"Are we recruiting this girl?" Inej asked.
"It depends." Kaz said.
"Depends how?" Inej asked.
"On if she's worth the trouble." He said. Nina was right. He was very slappable at times.
"So how are we breaking her out? I'm thinking we'll pretend to be nuns and pull her into a convent-"
"Jesper. Serious." Kaz said. Jesper sighed.
"Kaz, this is beyond crazy. This is insane." Jesper said.
"I've figured out a plan. It's insane, sure. But not impossible." He said. Inej sighed.
"Jesper, you'll be our distraction. Inej, you're to sneak in on a freight ship, there's one leaving in eighteen hours. Can you make it?" He asked. "Yes." She said reluctantly.
"Good. Now for the rest of this."
You heard the familiar jingle come from the hall and you sighed as the man you loathed stood before you. "Do you want in today?" He asked, his dark emotionless eyes staring into yours.
"Fuck off Roland." You said.
"Come on now darling, don't be that way. I'm sure those snakes will eat you alive one of these days. Have fun on your damp floor." He said with a chuckle. You shuddered as you heard him walking down the cell block.
Tears of frustration built in your eyes. This felt like an inescapable nightmare. Yes, this could be worse, you could've been in the old tower. You could be friendless. But it didn't stop the fear of being unable to come out of this alive from seeping into your mind. Your once vibrant eyes were now hollow and filled with darkness. You were sick of this life. You were sick of everything.
The fog settled on top of the waters towards the island. It felt ominous as the group rode in the rowboats. Inej was questioning everything at this moment. She was wondering why she went along with such a stupid plan in the first place. She looked at the man who was looking at an island with distant and pained eyes. There was a familiarity in this location, there was no doubt to her.
You heard Quincy move back to the post. "How's your sister?" You asked, knowing you were mostly alone now.
"She's fine. A little worse for the wear but..."
"good." You said softly. This was the most news of the outside you'd hear about.
"Didn't you say you had a sister?" Quincy asked.
"I do, I have two. One is two years younger than me, the other is three years younger. " you said.
"Are they pretty?"
"Trying to get ideas over there Quince?" You teased making him chuckle.
"Hardly. I'm more of a fan of older women thank you." He said. You gasped dramatically.
"Hunting cougars are you?" You teased making him fight an urge to laugh.
You heard a door slam and you closed your mouth, Quincy straightening up. "Quincy." A man yelled.
"Sir." He said.
"Your under arrest-"
"What?" He said confused.
"For conspiring with a prisoner-" your heart dropped.
"Sir-"
"You and Miss Y/n have been conspiring for nearly the whole time she's been in here-"
"He's innocent!" You argued.
"Shut up." The man snarled.
"You'll have time to argue in the old tower." A voice said. No. No. No no no.
"NO!" You screamed. "HE'S INNOCENT- PLEASE!" You screamed as the door opened and guards came to retrieve you. You thrashed against the guards as Roland smirked against a wall. You locked eyes with him. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" you screamed. Quincy was cuffed and you panicked. "I'LL DO IT!" You screamed.
Roland leaned off the wall. "You will?" He asked, satisfied that it was so easy to break you.
"Yes! Just let him GO!" you said. Roland looked in your eyes.
"Fine." He said. "You heard the girl. Uncuff him." He said. They obeyed, uncuffing Quincy. "Return to your post boy. Be thankful we didn't take your fucking head." He said. You watched him leave, looking over his shoulder clearly concerned for you. You were yanked forward, released from the floor but now dragged through the halls.
You followed the guards, hearing prisoner's screams through the prison. You hated Roland at this moment. You hated Pekka more. He was the whole reason you were in here. You knew he did this. He did this to put you in the Hellshow... Oh he'd get a show.
Kaz stepped out of the boat, face covered by a mask. Inej was horrified the first time she caught wind of such a place. To set foot in it was even worse. "Do not stray from the guide until you have my say so." Kaz said. Inej nodded. She knew the rules. If she strayed too early, she'd be found out and killed. Or worse, locked up in Hellgate.
The group followed the guides which happened across your cell block. Kaz was frowning under his mask once he realized you had been moved. There was only one reason you wouldn't be in there. The reason was also the purpose of having a guide for such a terrible place. The group had been seated in a coloseum like structure. Inej hated this plan more than any other plan that Kaz had formed before. Not only did she have to be in the most awful place but she had to watch this.
The crowds cheered as the announcer pumped up the crowds. "We are proud to announce that the got some new meat today." Kaz frowned. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. You were pulled into the ring, Inej glancing at Kaz. She could tell even under a smask that he was frustrated. "SPIN THE WHEEEELL!" the announcer screamed making the crowd roar. You did, spinning it as you fired an angry look at a man in the stands. If looks could kill, this competition wouldn't have been an issue for you.
The wheel landed on a dog and you were unshackled after the announcer was lifted, as to avoid being killed by you. Kaz sighed. At least this would be a way to figure out if you were useful or not. He knew you had to be somewhat resourceful seeing as Kaz got intel from one of the guards who claimed you as a friend. Kaz thought it impossible to find friends in such a low place but you made him stand corrected.
You picked up a blade from the sand swallowing hard as you focused on the wolves emerging from the mouth. You counted three as the mouth closed. You swallowed hard, slowly raising the blade. You hadn't wielded one in years.
Kaz noticed your footing. This was not the first time you used a blade. Kaz saw the various scratches and bruises on you, letting him know that you could take a hit before going down.
A wolf challeneged you, you ducking as it leapt for your throat and slicing its underbelly. You shuddered at that feeling as it hit the ground. Two more to go. You decided to make the next move before the wolves, using the wall to push off for a faster trajectory as you slammed the blade into one's jaw. "One more." Kaz thought. "You have just one more."
You backed up, your ankle hitting your shackles making you stumble. The wolf chose then to attack. You had to react and you had to react quickly. You kicked up the heavy shackle, winding the wolf as it hit its belly. You slammed your blade down, through its head.
The crowd roared for your victory as wolves' blood stained your face. Inej glanced at Kaz, unsure of what to do. They sat through numerous matches until the groups were escorted back. "What now?" She whispered. "We'll have to change course, she won't be in the same cell." Kaz said. So they slipped out, proceeding down a hall.
You were shoved into a new cell, Roland wearing a grin that said he got exactly what he wanted. You glared at him. "Come now, don't be like that! You've got a new cell." He said as the guards shackled you back to the floor. You saw Quincy behind him.
"You called for me sir?" He said.
"Ah. Right. The boy." Roland said looking at him. You saw the glint of silver that was his knife and frowned.
"Quincy, you're in danger-" a guard slapped you.
"Shut your mouth, girl." He said. Quincy looked at you confused before Roland's blade stabbed him. You let out a scream of horror and anguish.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Kaz heard in the hall.
"Follow that voice." He said.
"How do you know that's her?" Inej asked.
"She's the only female in this block." He stated before walking through the halls.
"State your business." A guard said.
"Oh I had an inquiry." He said.
"Which is?"
"Your mother and whether or not she's aware she's raised a bastard." Kaz replied, mouthing "shut eye." To Inej. She rolled her eyes, knocking the guard out.
"A simple, where's the loo would've worked!" She said. Kaz shrugged it off, slipping past the unconscious man.
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" You screamed, angry tears falling from your eyes.
"I'm sure we will. Enjoy your stay in your new cell!" Roland said. You let out a frustrated scream as Roland walked away, yanking your chains as far as they could go. You sobbed, looking at Quincy who was struggling on the ground.
"Quincy- I am-am so sorry" you cried.
"An-any moment now." He breathed. You were confused looking at him. "Ther-there are p-people here for you" he said.
"Exec-executioners?" You asked. By this point, the headman's axe was a mercy.
"R-rescuers." He said.
"Quincy-Quincy what have you done?" You asked. You heard a struggle out in the hall. Quincy looked relieved.
"Be-be free." He said.
"Quincy- QUINCY!" you screamed as the shallow rise and falls of his chest stopped. A masked figure came out with someone else.
"We've got a few seconds before the third bell." The figure said, unlocking the door. You moved away from them confused.
"We're here to bring you home." There was a woman in this group.
"Home?" You were beyond confused by this.
"Get her unlocked Kaz, we don't have much time." The girl said. The masked man, presumed now to be Kaz was unlocking your shackles. You heard a loud boom and looked confused as you heard multiple guards sprinting through.
"We have to go. Now." He said, pulling you up. You winced and he frowned. "Shit. She's injured." He realized.
"Thank that bastard Roland." You muttered, numbed tears falling from your eyes.
"Where's Quincy?" The girl asked.
"He's the body behind you." You said, looking at him. "Shit. SHIT." Inej hissed.
"We don't have time, we need to leave." Kaz urged.
You were practically dragged through the halls of the prison by these people, who honestly, you had to trust because literally anything could be better than this hellhole. You made way for an exit before Roland blocked you.
"Thought you were leavin' aye?" He said, that cocky smile filling you with rage. You gritted your teeth, snatching the cane from the masked stranger. He almost scolded you but everything happened so fast. You had not only managed to kill Roland, you had taken the lion's head and bashed in the skull of the man.
You finally stood up. "Incapable of murder" your sister said. "She doesn't have it in her" she said. Otherwise your sister had drastically underestimated you or this place drove you to that point. Considering the Hellgate was infamous for its conditions, Kaz guessed the second option as you handed him back the cane.
"I've wanted to do that for months." You said, stepping over his corpse. Kaz wiped off his cane, swapping a look with Inej.
You and the two others walked outside, a man waiting by a boat. "Let's go, we've got five minutes before they realize she escaped. " he said. Kaz motioned for you to climb aboard first. You did, Inej handing you a cloak as Kaz got into the boat. Inej untied it as another man dashed over and jumped in.
"Saints Jesper! You're going to flip us!" Inej gasped.
"No, it's fine- now paddle like your fucking life depend on it because it does!" Jesper yelled.
And so Inej rowed, after a good distance, Kaz removed his mask as did Inej. You looked the face of Kaz, looking in his eyes. You could see that behind a hardened persona laid a boy who still had a glint of humanity in him. You took a moment though, the second you were back in the waters of Ketterdam to breathe. Really breathe. The place was not perfect by any means. However it was, it still was home to you. You felt a drop of water on your shoulder. Kaz sighed. "Yes, rain on top of it all!" He said frustrated.
"Let it, it'll mask us for now." Inej said, pulling into a harbor.
You were helped out the boat by this Jesper man. The rain fall got worse as you walked through the streets of Ketterdam. "I swear to the saints this is the most annoying job I've done" Kaz muttered.
"I thought you didn't believe in saints?" Inej teased. Kaz gritted his teeth.
"Forgive them, they were raised in a barn." Jesper said to you. You smiled slightly. "So you're out of prison. What's the first thing you want to do?" Jesper asked. You pondered.
"Have a nice meal." You said. He laughed.
"A respectable answer." He said making you chuckle. Kaz entered the club, all of you following behind.
You froze in your tracks though the instant you saw her. Jesper saw the look on your face. Everyone could see the look on your face. What was supposed to be a heartwarming reunion of sisters was something far different.
Rage. Unbridled Rage.
"Oh thank the saints! You're safe!" Dahlia said, rushing forward to hug you. You immediately shoved her away, Inej looking at Kaz confused.
"Y/n? Are you alright?" Dahlia asked.
"You think I don't know?" You scoffed. Jesper looked at Kaz then you.
"Y/n, I paid for your freedom--"
"You took my freedom!" You snapped. Kaz could see something different with Dahlia's stance. He underestimated the teary eyed girl. He didn't like being fooled. And he certainly didn't like going through all that for a traitor. Kaz gripped his cane, the leather cracking sound of his gloves alerting Inej to his anger. She suspected that if the man wasn't wearing gloves, his knuckles would be white.
"Y/n, I surely don't know what you are talking about-"
"You and Pekka fucking Rollins!" You shouted. Heads in the club certainly turned to that name. "You tried to sell me- you and father both did! To that-that monster! And when it didn't work you had me framed for fucking murder!" You screamed. Inej frowned, looking at Kaz shocked by the revelation.
"Y/n, let's discuss this somewhere else- we'll have coffee- we'll talk-" you shook with anger.
"I would rather go back to Hellgate than ever talk to you or father again." You snarled. Dahlia went silent.
"The girl you knew, the one that bowed to your abuse, father's abuse is dead. And you killed her." You said. Dahlia finally dropped the facade, her face looking at you with hatred.
"You have nowhere to run Y/n. You will come home or you will go back." She said.
"I'll die first." You said. "I can arrange that." She said, a despicable look on her face. You swallowed hard, staring her down. It felt like you were staring at a monster even worse than whatever came from the Hellshow. Jesper looked at Kaz for guidance.
A gun was drawn from under Dahlia's dress and Kaz raised his cane to her, everyone else following suit. There must've been dozens of guns and pistols aimed at Dahlia, along with a few knives.
"There's a problem with this." Kaz said. "I was told to bring Y/n back. Here she is." Kaz said.
"Oh for fucks sake." Dahlia huffed, slamming her bag down. "Your money is in there." She said, not removing her eyes from you.
"Inej."
Inej reached into the bag, pulling out the jars of money. "It's here Kaz." She said.
"Good. Jesper." Kaz said.
A loud shot rang out and Dahlia toppled over. You saw the pool of blood form from her head as her dead gaze landed on you one last time. You shook, partially from fear, partially from the fact that you were damp from the rain. Kaz looked at your sister with disgust. "I hate being lied to. Even more, I hate that it worked." Kaz said. "Lynn. Clean it up." Kaz said. A woman sighed, walking over. "You. Follow me. Now." He said to you.
"Kaz wait a minute." Jesper halted.
"What Jesper?" Kaz snapped.
"The girl is hungry. She's cold. Have some humanity." He said. Kaz looked at you. He sighed.
"Xander, make her a steak. She deserves it. There's a fireplace in my office." He said, motioning for you to go. You looked at your sister one last time before looking back at Kaz. This man didn't need to rescue you, but he did. He didn't need to kill Dahlia, but he did. He didn't need to feed you, and yet there he was making a demand for food.
You took the time to eat, following Kaz back to a place he called "The Slat". You walked with him into his office as he lit the fireplace. "Sit." He said, motioning for you to sit on the couch.
"I am wet from the rain... If you don't mind I'll sit on the floor." You muttered.
"Do what you'd like, I don't care." He sighed, sitting on the couch.
You looked into the fireplace, feeling warmth for the first time in almost a year. Real warmth. You held out your hands, letting them heat up. Kaz looked at you. You were ruthless when you had to be. You were charming enough that you found a friend in the worst place. You could he useful, only if you wanted to be.
"Your sister said you had nowhere to go." Kaz said, looking at you. You didn't look him in the eyes.
"I suppose that's true... Now that Quincy is dead I..." you cleared your throat, lowering your hands. "I have no one." You muttered.
"You can work for us." He said, leaning back. You looked at him finally.
"What?" You asked shocked.
"The Dregs. You can join the ranks. You'll stay here with us until you're on your feet." He said.
"You want me to join the gang that is rivals with the other that tried to kill me?" You asked.
"We have a common enemy." Kaz said. You couldn't argue with that. You wanted that Pekka bastard dead.
"What... exactly are the benefits?" You asked. "You'll have a roof over your head. Friends even, if you like that sort of thing. You won't go hungry. The only thing you'll have to do are the jobs I give you." He said. You looked at him.
"You're not... shipping me to the Menagerie are you?" You asked. Kaz scoffed.
"Hardly not. Inej would have my head if I did." He said. You looked at him and the hand he extended to you. You noticed, despite the wetness of the man's gloves, he did not remove them.
You had come from Hell and survived. You had lived in Hell and survived. Now wasn't just an offer of food and a roof but a chance to side with the very people Pekka hated. That was enticing. That was more than enticing.
That was perfect.
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a-killer-obsession · 2 months ago
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Brat [Kid x Killer x OC Nina]
Commissioned by @dissvicious
CW: third person pov, intox, recreational drug use, spanking, brat taming, blow job, vaginal fingering, anal fingering, threesome (f/m/m), very light bondage, double penetration (v + a), creampies, multiple orgasms, inappropriate use of devil fruit
WC: 4k
Masterlist || Comissions Info
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The Kid Pirates gathered in the dining hall of the Victoria Punk, celebrating an overwhelming win against a ship full of marines who dared to think they could defeat the crew of the great Eustass “Captain” Kid. The raised platform where the commanders usually sat to dine had been cleared off, replaced with various instruments being played by a rotation of crewmates, filling the hall with music ranging from punk rock to heavy metal. Some of the usual dining tables had been cleared as well to make space for dancing and drinking, some crewmates opting to position their chairs in circles for drinking games and conversations, while others sat at the remaining tables to pick at the scraps of the feast or lose their share of the loot in gambling games. The four commanders sat together, passing around a joint and retelling their perspectives from the battle just been.
“Where's pinky?” Heat asked, before taking a hit of the joint and passing it along to Wire.
“Nina?” Killer replied, “she wanted to get the blood off her chainsaw before it got too dry and crusty, she should be out soon.”
“Maybe she finally fucked off,” Kid grumbled. It was no secret that Kid had a stick up his ass ever since Nina and Killer had gotten together. “Good fuckin' riddens.”
“Kid we're in the middle of the fucking ocean,” Killer sighed, “where would she go? Can you at least pretend to like Nina? For me?”
“They're a bratty little friend stealing bitch,” Kid snapped, yanking the joint from Wire's hand and hogging it, “should've kicked her off the ship when I had the chance.”
“Like you could get rid of me if you tried,” Nina teased, pinching the joint from a surprised Kid and making herself comfortable in Killer's lap. Killer wrapped his arms around her waist to steady her, bumping his mask softly against the side of her head in a makeshift version of a kiss. “Sorry I took so long, lion,” Nina cooed, scratching Killer's goatee, “fuckin’ chains were all gunked up with some asshole's brain matter.”
“Do you have to do that PDA shit here?” Kid rolled his eyes, trying and failing to snatch back the joint. Heat sighed and pulled another from the tin he kept in his pocket, handing it to the disgruntled captain.
“I'm literally just sitting,” Nina feigned innocence, taking a long hit of the joint. She held it up by the burning end so Killer could lean forward and slot it through one of the holes in his mask, leaning back as Nina returned the joint to her own lips, clouds of smoke filtering out of several of Killer's mask holes.
“On Killer,” Kid grumbled, “you look like a common whore.”
“First of all, thanks,” Nina said with an exhale of smoke before handing the joint to Heat, having caught up to the others with a nice buzz now, “secondly, would you say the same if I was on Heat's lap?”
“You're not keeping Heat away from my bed,” Kid complained.
“Heat goes to your bed?” Nina laughed, while Wire and Killer stifled their own snorts, “Nice.”
“No that's- that's not my fuckin point!” Kid replied in a fluster, a flush of red on his cheeks.
“Maybe I'm colourblind,” Nina teased, “cos you're lookin real fuckin green there, Kid.”
“You sayin’ I'm jealous?” Kid scoffed, “Of you?”
“That's exactly what I'm saying,” Nina replied confidently, “you just can't stand that Killer wants to spend his time with me.”
“You're fuckin hogging him!” Kid yelled.
“Kid…” Killer warned, exchanging a concerned look with Wire and Heat as they felt the tension in the air rising.
“He's a grown man,” Nina shouted back as she got up, getting ready to fight, “he can do what he wants.”
“And you're a thieving fucking bitch!” Kid barked as he stood too, trying to look intimidating, not that the comparatively tiny woman was at all frightened by him.
“KID!” Killer got up in a hurry, putting himself between the two.
“No, it's not fair!” Kid complained to Killer, “Ever since you two shacked up you spend all your time with them! You haven't fucked me in weeks!”
“Maybe you're just not as special as you thought you were,” Nina replied cruelly. Killer took a deep breath, knowing that the argument had just hit the point of no return.
“What the fuck did you just say to me, bitch?” Kid snapped, trying to get at Nina but held away by Killer, “I'm the future King of Pirates, you're nothing but some discarded bratty bitch playing at pirates!”
“You're about to be King of the Shark Shit, you thick skulled cunt,” she spat back, “when I send you to the fucking seabed!”
“Okay can we calm down and talk about this please?” Killer sighed. It's times like this he wished he wasn't wearing his mask so he could pinch the bridge of his nose where a headache was quickly forming.
“Like this bolts for brains would understand a word I say,” Nina scoffed, “Hey Kid - Me, Killer girlfriend. You, pigheaded cunt. Got it?”
“Fuck you!” Kid screamed. Now Wire and Heat had to get involved as well, struggling to hold the redhead back.
“Bite me!” Nina bit back.
“Stop it, both of you!” Killer yelled, “You're acting like fucking children!”
“Just fucking bang already,” Wire said under his breath, “fucking hell.”
“What did you fucking say?” Kid's head snapped in Wire's direction, the taller man not at all phased by his angry expression. Wire was observant, perhaps the only one who had noticed that it was Killer the captain was jealous of, not Nina.
“Nothing boss,” Wire replied flatly, “just that maybe you and Nina would get along better if you put that energy elsewhere.”
“He's got a point,” Killer hummed. He too had his suspicions about where Kid's feelings really lay, “it would solve the sharing issues…”
“Like this brute could make me cum,” Nina scoffed with a heavy eye roll. Did she want to fuck Kid? Absolutely, but she'd rather fuck her chainsaw than admit her attraction to the goop-brained asshole. “I doubt he even knows where the clit is. Probably why Killer prefers me over you, bet that mouth isn't good for anything except talking shit.”
“Oh I'll make you fuckin’ cum alright,” Kid purred, liking the idea of fucking the attitude out of Nina more and more by the second, “I'll have you screaming my fuckin’ name, just like Kil does.”
“Like I'd let a caveman like you get a taste of me,” Nina teased, turning to wiggle her ass in a seductive manner at Kid, knowing it would rile him up. She wanted to see how far he'd go with his threats. Her hands teased down Killer's front, looking over her shoulder at Kid to challenge him, hands moving possessively over Killer's toned chest as though to say ‘this is mine, what are you gonna do about it?”
“Alright, that's quite enough out of you,” Killer sighed, picking Nina up and throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes as she squeaked in protest. He didn't like being used as a pawn in the middle of whatever this weird sexual tension going on between her and Kid was. Killer began walking away with his angry passenger, looking back at Kid who stood in the same spot as he had been, trying to not let it show that Nina's teasing had in fact had an effect on him. “You coming or not?”
“Ey?” Kid replied, confused.
“You got her riled up, you're gonna deal with her,” Killer replied sternly, making Kid forget for a second who the captain was. “She's being a fucking brat because of your inability to keep your mouth shut, and I don't have the energy for that right now, so you're gonna fix it.”
“He's the fucking brat!” Nina shouted, trying to fight her way off Killer's shoulder but unable to compete with his strength.
“You and I both know that's not true, princess,” Killer replied, continuing his warpath to his room. Kid followed behind, not getting to close since Nina was facing him, and she looked like she wanted to claw his eyes out. He followed Killer inside the first mate's private quarters, closing and bolting the door behind them as Killer dumped Nina unceremoniously on the bed, her body bouncing slightly on impact. She scrambled on the mattress like she was making to attack Kid, but Killer quickly grabbed her, pulling her by her ankles until she was bent over his lap.
“You weren't being nice out there,” Killer sighed, yanking down Nina's shorts and panties without warning. She and Kid suddenly went shy as Nina's ass was laid bare, the two of them not looking at each other. “Count.” Killer said plainly as he raised his hand and brought it down on Nina's ass, the clap of skin on skin echoing in the room. Nina whimpered in pain and arousal, Killer knew exactly what he was doing. It was punishment, but it was also foreplay to get her more comfortable with Kid. “Nina,” Killer growled when she didn't reply.
“No!” She spat back. Killer smacked her again, harder this time, leaving an obvious handprint on her soft ass. “One,” she whimpered. She knew better than to say ‘two’, when she hadn't correctly counted the first smack. Killer administered four more, Nina obediently counting each. At five he pushed her off his lap and stood, leaving her confused, and a little under sated. “You usually go to ten?” She asked, disappointed.
“Kid will do the rest,” he explained, gesturing for Kid to take his place on the bed. The captain hesitantly did so, and Nina was immediately bent over his lap by the blonde. She could feel his large erection under her belly, but it only served to flare her aggression. Killer saw the spark of rebellion in her eyes, and knelt in front of her face, running his fingers through her fringe and making a fist to pull it tight, forcing her head up. “Behave,” he warned. Nina furrowed her brows and spat at him, the saliva dripping down his mask. “Ten more it is then, on top of the five you have left. Kid.”
Killer had been careful to make sure Nina's ass was facing Kid's flesh hand, and he brought it down eagerly, his cock twitching as Nina whined. She refused to give in though, and Kid growled at the lack of counting and spanked her twice more. She squirmed and whimpered, but refused to give up on her defiance.
“No good,” Killer clicked his tongue, squeezing Nina's face between his thumb and fingers so her lips pursed, “we'll just have to fuck it out of her, till she's too fucked dumb to have an attitude.”
He grabbed Nina by the hair again and threw her on the bed, pulling off her goggles and shoes, pulling her shorts and panties the rest of the way off, and tearing her shirt open to free her tits. He was being rough, but he knew Nina would use her safe word if he went too far. He wrapped his hand around her neck as he climbed onto the bed, using his other hand to unfasten his sash and binding her hands with it. “Fuck, Kil,” Kid grinned, “you sure the tiny thing can take this sort of treatment?”
“She'll say ‘chainsaw’ if she wants us to stop,” Killer replied, unfastening his pants and pulling his hard cock free. He grabbed Nina by her hair again and pulled her onto all fours, her ass pointed at Kid, who had to hold back a groan as he got his first look at her cunt. “Put that mouth of yours to better use,” Killer instructed, tapping the head of his cock against Nina's firmly closed lips. She scowled up at him, refusing to give him what he wanted. “Nina, open,” he commanded. When she refused still he pinched her nose shut with a frustrated sigh, until she had no choice but to open her mouth to breathe. He forced his cock in her mouth as soon as her lips parted, making her whine, but she accepted her fate and started to bob her head on his cock. She was so addicted to him that once she got that first taste, she couldn't deny him any longer. “See there, Kid?” Killer hummed, “you just have to be firm with her. Quit standing there gawking, play with her cunt or something. You wanna fuck her or not?”
Kid, who had been not so casually palming himself over his pants, eagerly stepped forward, climbing onto the bed and kneeling behind Nina. He admired the red prints on her ass, giving her a softer, more playful slap that made her groan on Killer's cock, before soothing over the flesh with his cool metal hand. He spread her cheeks apart, labia shifting as he did so, exposing the glistening folds between. He ran two fingers down her wet cunt, before giving her no mercy and pushing two thick fingers inside her.
“Fuck!” Nina cried out, pulling off Killer's cock, “fat fucking fingers, be careful!”
“Yer fuckin’ dripping,” Kid gawked, “needy fucking slut.”
“No shit fuckass,” Nina bit back, "you gonna do something about it or not?”
“Keep talking shit and I'll show you fuck ass,” Kid warned, making her pussy squelch as he pumped her with his fingers, enjoying the way her gummy wet walls squeezed around him.
“Bet,” Nina struggled to get out between stifled moans, “I wouldn't even feel your tiny baby carrot fucking me, I've taken shits bigger than your cock.”
“What, is that a challenge?” Kid growled, “Cos I'll fuck yer ass till you can't sit if you don't watch yer fuckin’ mouth. You'll be feeling it for the next three fuckin’ weeks.”
“Then I guess I'm gonna keep talking shit,” Nina spat back, using her bound hands to jack Killer off, not wanting him to feel ignored. Killer would have forced his cock back in her mouth by now, but he wanted to see where this was going.
“You want me to fuck your ass?” Kid asked with a raised brow.
“How else am I gonna take both of you?” Nina replied, like they were both fucking stupid.
“I just assumed we'd spit roast you,” Kid exchanged a questioning look with Killer, who shrugged in response.
“Spit roasting is for pussies,” Nina growled, “do you think I'm a pussy?”
“No..” Kid replied sheepishly.
“Good, so shut the fuck up and fuck me already,” Nina spat, rocking backwards to fuck herself on Kid's fingers since he'd momentarily stopped moving them, “I want my holes filled, get to it, I’m gonna dry up from old age over here.”
“Fuckin brat,” Kid grumbled, pulling his fingers out of Nina and smacking her reddened ass, “Kil, you got lube?”
”Who do you think I am, of course I have lube,” he rolled his eyes under his mask, leaning back to rummage in the top drawer of his side table, “You want plain or strawberry?”
“Plain is fin-” Kid started.
‘Strawberry!” Nina cut him off.
“He didn't ask you, brat!” Kid complained, “Yer getting plain!”
“I wouldn't fight her if I was yo-” Killer began to warn, already grabbing the strawberry.
“I want strawberry!” Nina pouted, “I want a strawberry scented ass!”
“For fucksake,” Kid grumbled, holding out his hand for the lube.
“STRAWBERRY! SCENTED! ASS!” Nina shouted.
“OKAY FINE, FUCKING HELL,” Kid shouted back, “I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR FUCKIN’ FRUIT ASS YOU FUCKIN’ FRUITASS!”
Killer took the opportunity to remove his mask and tie his hair in a low ponytail as Kid squirted a generous amount of lube above Nina's asshole, letting it drip down before spreading it with one finger around the ring of muscle. Killer took his place back in front of Nina, who took his cock back in her mouth with no argument this time, looking up at him with half lidded eyes that closed as Kid sunk a finger inside her. She moaned on Killer's cock as Kid worked her open, and Killer grabbed her short pigtails to guide her movements as she got lost concentrating on Kid's fingers in her asshole as he added a second. His fingers were thick, she was probably stretched enough from just two to take any average man's cock, but Kid was far from average and knew he would need to work more to get her prepared to take him. He wanted to fuck the attitude out of her, but he didn't want to actually hurt her. His metal hand came up underneath her, and he pressed one finger to her clit and used his devil fruit to vibrate the metal, making Nina pull off Killer's cock with a surprised whine. “Fuck, Kid!”
“That's more like it,” he purred, “now we're getting somewhere. Go ahead and scream my name when you cum for me, little spitfire.”
“N-no!” Nina cried out. Kid replied by increasing the intensity of the vibrations and bullying a third finger into her ass, pumping her hard and fast.
“Then I guess you'll just have to not cum, aye?” Killer spoke in a voice that was so low it was almost terrifying, “You can scream your captain's name, or we can leave you here wanting. Maybe I'll just fuck Kid instead. Tie you to the bed and make you watch.”
“No! Please don't stop!” Nina whined, she felt like if they stopped now she might combust, “I'll be good!”
“Scream for me, bitch,” Kid growled, pressing his metal finger hard against her bud.
“Fuck, fuck!” Nina groaned, “cumming, fuck, Kid!” Her whole body shook as she let out a choked roar of a moan, Kid giving Killer a pleased grin as he pulled his fingers from her ass and she all but collapsed against the bed.
“You're not done yet, princess,” Killer purred, “we haven't gotten ours yet.”
“She's blissed out already and she ain't even had a cock yet,” Kid grumbled.
“She can take more, can't you princess?” Killer cooed as he squeezed Nina's face. She gave a weak whine and nodded, and he gave her face a soft appreciative slap. He let her lay back against the bed while the two men undressed, and Nina's eyes flicked between both of them hungrily as she rolled onto her back, thighs rubbing together as her need grew again at the two thick erections presented to her.
“Meow!”
“Oh for fucksake, ZAP!” Killer groaned, chasing the cat around the bedroom.
“Where the fuck did he come from?” Kid growled.
“My son likes to sleep in the laundry basket,” Nina replied matter-of-factly, “Zap! Come to mama!”
“No! Not to mama!” Killer complained, trying to grab the cat as it jumped up on the bed. He scruffed Zap and carried him out of the room, ignoring Nina's sad whines, placing the cat firmly on the hallway floor and shutting the door quickly before Zap could sneak back in. “Fucking cockblock.”
“Aw, Zap doesn't mean it!” Nina replied, before Killer grabbed her and made her giggle by flipping them both so she was laying on top of him. Kid took his queue to climb up on the bed behind her, settling between Killer's legs. Nina bit her lip as she reached between her legs to position Killer's cock, sinking down onto it with a relieved sigh. “Ah, doesn't get any better than that,” Nina grinned.
“We'll see about that,” Kid grunted, fisting himself to coat his cock in lube and applying more to Nina's ass. Killer held her flat against him, keeping her from squirming while Kid lined himself up. Nina squeaked as he pushed the head of his cock against her asshole, only pressing in the tip before pausing as he met resistance.
“Breathe, princess,” Killer soothed, “relax sweetheart, let him in.”
Nina whimpered against Killer's clavicle as Kid slowly pushed in further, attitude entirely forgotten as both her holes were filled and she clawed at the sheets either side of Killer. She let out a low whine as Kid fully seated himself, stilling inside her as she adjusted to the fullness. “Fuck yer tight,” Kid groaned. He made an experimental pull almost all the way out, before pushing back in again.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Nina groaned, “yes, yes, yes, yes, fuck me, fuck me!”
“Say no more,” Kid replied, grabbing her hips and giving her a hard thrust that made her scream. Killer exchanged a shit eating grin with the captain over Nina's shoulder as she buried her face against his chest, before he too began to move, making thrusts up into Nina's cunt to match Kid's harsh pace. Nina screamed like a bitch in heat as both men fucked her hard, making Killer grunt as she took out her overstimulation on him, biting and sucking at his chest and leaving marks all over his tan skin. Kid's hands were leaving bruises on Nina's hips as he held them tight, showing no mercy with his pace.
“Good girl,” Killer cooed, “does that feel good? Your holes nice and full now?”
“Yes!” Nina cried, “so- so full! Gonna cum again!”
“Cum for us then, princess,” Killer purred. Nina immediately bit down on his shoulder, making Killer swear as she let out a muffled moan against his skin and clamped down around their cocks. Killer's thighs grew wet with her release as she quivered, but neither man let up, prolonging the orgasm. She went boneless between them, a ragdoll for them to fuck, completely dick drunk and making weak moans.
“Fuckin’ hell,” Kid groaned, “can I cum inside her Kil?”
“Fill her up,” Killer replied with his own grunts, close to cumming as well, “fuck, I'm close.”
“One more from her?” Kid asked.
“Aye,” Killer agreed, the two of them working in tandem to hold back their own peaks while they forced Nina to another. “Come on Nina, one more sweetheart, I know you can do it.”
Nina shook her head against him, but the coil in her stomach was already pulling tight again, she couldn't deny it. She made a surprised gasp as Kid smacked her ass, feeling a rush of electricity through her body that reignited her. “Fuck, do that again,” she moaned. Kid complied, giving her a series of smacks, alternating which cheek he focused on as he kept up his brutal thrusts. “Fuck, fuck, cumming!” She screamed, seeing stars and shaking hard. She had a blissed out smile on her face as she collapsed against Killer, who groaned at her pussy still fluttering around him from the aftershocks of her orgasm and couldn't hold back any longer. He swore as he emptied his balls, and Kid quickly followed suit, giving one last hard thrust before stilling deep inside Nina's ass and painting her walls white.
“Fucking hell,” Kid panted as he pulled his cock out and collapsed next to them.
“Say thank you, princess,” Killer forced out between hard breaths.
“Th-thank you,” Nina stuttered, half asleep.
“Maybe yer not so bad,” Kid teased, patting Nina's bare ass playfully as he groaned at his stiff joints and climbed out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Nina asked in a sad tone that surprised both men.
“Oh I- I thought we were done here,” Kid replied unsurely.
“Go get a wet cloth from my bathroom, then come back,” Killer told him, “you're staying with us.”
“You sure?” Kid asked, eyes flicking between them as Nina rolled off Killer, who quickly untied her wrists and threw his sash to the floor.
“We're sure,” she confirmed, reaching out to hold his hand, “stay.”
“Okay,” Kid replied softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, “I'll stay.”
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auroravictorium · 2 years ago
Text
midnight rain (k.b.)
she was sunshine, i was midnight rain.
Summary: kaz and reader hunt down the person responsible for exposing their relationship to the dime lions, putting the reader at risk.
Pairing(s): kaz x fem!reader (established relationship)
Word Count: ~3.2k
Warnings: fighting, blood, guns, daggers, betrayal, very quick mention of drinking, minor cursing, poor proofreading lol sorry 
Genre: uhhhh primarily angst but there's some fluff at the end!
Author's Note: so i didn't mean for this to turn out as long as it did but... oops 😅 also i promise the next one will be fluffy!! i've been really loading on the angst, sorry. BUT I've got fluff in mind for the next few sooooo <3
grishaverse masterlist
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"What do you think this is about?" you asked Inej quietly, trailing behind her as she led you up the stairs to Kaz's office in the Club. He'd summoned Jesper too, but he wanted to see you first, which couldn't be good. Getting called to his office while the Club was already open meant he was okay with risking kruge being stolen, fake, or not in his pockets. 
"I have no idea. Has he said anything to you?" Inej muttered back. She smoothed her hands down the front of her pants, ensuring her knives were in place. She was on edge, caught off guard by the sudden meeting.
You blushed, though nobody could see it in the dim hallway, and absentmindedly brushed your fingers over your collarbone, where the necklace Kaz had given you hid beneath your shirt. Inej wasn't a fool. She knew about you and Kaz and had been the first to notice the lingering glances between the two of you; then you'd nearly died, and well... "No."
Inej sighed, and you could tell it bothered her that there was information she didn't have.
When you arrived at the door at the end of the hall, tucked out of sight from nosy or drunk patrons, you found your fellow Crows standing outside. They were looking around at each other, waiting for someone to be the first to gather the courage to ask what was going on. As you joined them, you crossed your arms over your chest and clutched your elbows. The air was frosty from tension. Five pairs of eyes turned to you as you joined the semicircle around Kaz's door. You stood between Jesper and Nina and looked around at your friends.
"What?" you hissed. Your eyes flicked to the closed office door, then back to the group staring at you. Matthias looked away when your gaze met his, and Wylan cringed away from the door. Jesper suddenly became very interested in the shine of his boots, and Nina was intensely examining her cuticles.
Inej was the only one who spoke and met your gaze. "Knock when you're ready," she said softly. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your pants, mirroring Inej's nerves. When your palm brushed the dagger strapped to the outside of your thigh, you felt yourself calm slightly. Not that you would need a weapon against Kaz, but it was reassuring. You'd cheated death once. You could face an irritated Kaz.
"Saints be with you," Jesper mumbled, earning a shush from everyone but you. Wylan jabbed his elbow into Jesper's ribs, making Jesper wince. "Sorry."
"I don't think Saints will be enough," Nina whispered. 
"Not against the demjin himself," Matthias added under his breath.
If you weren't about to face an angry Kaz, you would have laughed at the sight of the Crows avoiding an office. All of you had faced death at least once, bore unsaintly amounts of trauma, and been through entirely too much in your relatively short lives. Yet all of you stood there, hoping that the saints could mitigate the wrath of Kaz Brekker.
Nobody moved a muscle, looking at you expectantly. A few thumps echoed from inside the office, sounding a lot like a cane hitting the ground as a certain demjin paced his office.
You definitely couldn't delay going in any longer. You moved toward the door, and the Crows scattered, disappearing down the hall and leaving you to whatever terrible news Kaz had summoned you to give.
You slipped inside the office and brushed your fingers over your necklace. "You wanted to see me?" you said, shutting the door behind you and lingering next to it.
Kaz was standing by the small, grimy window, reading over a piece of parchment for the thousandth time, judging by his mussed hair. He'd run his fingers through it so much that the hair stuck out every which way and flopped into his face. You longed to reach out and fix it but now wasn't the time.
You sat in the seat in front of his desk, waiting for him to address you. When he finished reading, he set it on the desk and slid it across to you. He jabbed the block of text with a gloved finger. "They know," he said flatly. Your brows furrowed in confusion, and you took the letter to read for yourself. 
Amalia Nikolaeva entered the Emerald Palace at ten past midnight last night. She exited around ten minutes later, holding a bag of coins. She was heading toward Fifth Harbor, but we lost sight due to fog.
It was short, but it was damning. Your blood ran cold, and you looked up from the letter. "Why?" Amalia had been friendly to you while giving you your tattoo, and she'd given no indication of being willing to betray the Dregs. You didn't want it to make sense, but this was Ketterdam. Betrayal was commonplace, lurking around every corner. Amalia's actions made perfect sense. If the price was right...
"The information was too valuable to not hand over," Kaz said. He turned and paced back over to the window. He spun his cane in his hand. "I wanted to tell you before we left that I intend to kill her."
You nodded slowly. It made sense. Kaz had a special treatment reserved for double agents, and it wasn't pretty. He hadn't earned the name Dirtyhands by being kind. "When are we leaving?"
"You're staying here." He didn't turn as he said it, but you knew from his voice alone that he wanted it to be nonnegotiable. He didn't want you to argue. But you weren't good at not arguing when the person Kaz was out to get had practically sold you to the Dime Lions. Amalia had put a bounty of Saints knew how much on your head, and you weren't going to sit back and wait for Kaz and Jesper to return. This was your fight, too.
You stood. "No. I'm coming with you." You stared at Kaz's back, challenging him to fight you. Rage began to burn beneath your skin. It had been almost three years since you'd had to do dirty work like this, since you'd felt the need to do it, but that familiar ruthlessness was waking up within you again. It stirred, waiting to be called into action.
Kaz had recruited you because you weren't kind either. You were both willing to do what needed to be done, even if it meant cleaning blood out of your clothes at the end of the day.
Kaz exhaled, long and slow. He wanted to fight you on this. If he could, he'd tie you to a chair and make you stay there until he returned. But he knew this wasn't just his problem to solve. It affected you too. "If things go south, you leave the city," he finally said. "There's a boat to Ravka leaving Fifth Harbor at dawn."
"I won't do that." You wouldn't leave him to whatever fate this damned city would deal him.
He turned to face you, and his eyes lit up with unexpected fury. "Half the city is after you." Because you're associated with me, he silently added. And I was a fool to trust Amalia to not say anything about me going with you for your tattoo or keep that moment between us quiet. "Promise me."
The look on his face melted your willpower. He meant it. He wanted you to leave him if something went wrong. "Fine," you said softly. You hoped it wouldn't come to that; you didn't think you'd have the strength. "I will."
He nodded, and the ferocity in his eyes dimmed. "Where's Jesper?"
You dropped your voice to a whisper. "Listening at the door."
Kaz silently crossed the room, muttered something uncomplimentary, then opened the door. Jesper and Nina nearly toppled inside, and the rest turned away and pretended they weren't waiting up against the wall. "Jesper, shouldn't you be getting ready to leave?" Kaz grumbled. "The rest of you should be downstairs."
The Crows erupted into murmurs and scattered again. Their footsteps thundered against the stairs as they disappeared back into the noise of the roaring laughter and clinking kruge in the gambling hall below.
Kaz shut the door again and looked at you. "Did you know they were listening?"
"Not until Jesper told Matthias to shut up," you answered, offering a tiny smile. You reached out and gently squeezed Kaz's hand. "It's not your fault."
Kaz squeezed your hand back and released it. He reached for his coat and pulled it on. "If that were true, you wouldn't be in danger."
"I knew the risk. I chose this, Kaz." How could you make him understand that he wasn't at fault for the Dime Lions knowing about you? The only person at fault was Amalia for choosing to turn her back on the Dregs and using your relationship with Kaz as means to do so. 
"You didn't choose the danger. You chose to stop running." He looked at you pointedly, and you remembered when he caught you in an alley nearly three years ago and offered you a place in the Dregs. He'd heard someone was robbing the rich within the Geldstraat and then taking the money back to the Barrel for the prostitutes and beggars on the streets. On rare occasions, you'd even maimed a few of the Geldstraat's richest residents as vengeance, primarily those who used and abused those within the Barrel.
"I chose to be with you and chose everything that comes with it," you shot back, stuffing your hands in your coat pockets. "I don't regret that."
Kaz saw the truth in your eyes, and he nodded his head slowly. He didn't quite know what to say to such an open confession. He wished he could do that so effortlessly.
So, he settled for what he did know how to say. "Are you ready to go?"
You nodded. You had a dagger on your thigh, two on your waist, and a gun in its holster, all underneath your coat. There were additional weapons within the coat itself, but those were merely insurance.
The two of you went downstairs to meet Jesper, and you took the back exit out of the Club. "No mourners," Kaz said, limping ahead of the two of you and gesturing to a carriage he'd already called. 
"No funerals," you and Jesper echoed.
The carriage took you up the East Stave and past Amalia's parlor next to the harbor. According to another report, she was hiding near the Fourth Harbor, hoping to sneak onto a ship bound for Ravka.
"Smart girl, but too late," Jesper muttered beside you, leaning his head against the carriage wall. Periodically, the wheels would hit a bump, and his head would hit the wall with a sharp smack. The sight of Jesper simply accepting the discomfort would have amused you if you weren't about to act on the searing vengeance underneath your skin. Instead, you were unusually calm and found yourself staring out the small carriage window during the ride.
Kaz threw a pouch of coins at the carriage driver when you came to a stop outside an alley that was disgusting by Ketterdam standards. It was grimy, and rats skittered in and out with bits of food in tow. Your need for revenge wavered as you imagined Amalia waiting in that alley for hours, hoping to stow away on a ship.
Then you remembered she sold you out to the Dime Lions, and that fury came right back to you.
You unsheathed your dagger as the three of you entered the alley. Jesper and Kaz took the first two doors, pounding on them and asking the occupants whether they'd seen a Grisha woman of Amalia's description. You moved further into the alley, slowly moving and peering around garbage, boxes, and crates.
You sensed movement to your right and whirled as Amalia leaped out from behind a large crate at you. You dodged, and she went stumbling toward the brick wall. She turned and went for you again, and you clashed with each other. She also had a dagger, and your blades scraped against each other as you tried to disarm the other. Sometime in the fight, her knuckles brushed your face, and pain seared across your cheekbone.
"What did you gain?" you hissed, knocking her back and shoving her toward the wall. You bared your dagger again and slashed it toward her in a wide arc. She ducked, and metal met the brick wall. You turned to keep up with her, not wanting a repeat of a blade between your ribs. "Was it worth the kruge?"
"There's no kruge," she snarled back. She cut the air with her blade, narrowly missing your chest. "Rollins gave me fakes." She dodged a fist you threw her way and launched herself at you. Both of you abandoned your blades in favor of your hands, and you were about to aim for her nose when shuffling came from your right.
The metal end of Kaz's cane struck her in the side of the head with nonlethal force, but hard enough to send her crumpling to the ground. Blood splattered across the gravel beneath you and the wall, and a gash opened on the side of her head. It seeped blood, and she lifted her fingers to it, trying to heal it with her powers. 
You knocked her arm to the side with your foot and stepped on her hand, making her scream in agony. Jesper appeared and pinned her other arm, holding his gun to her temple. She sobbed but stopped moving, accepting that she was vastly outnumbered.
Beside you, Kaz pressed the blunt end of his cane to her throat. "Why did you do it?" he asked coolly. You knew him well enough to detect the fiery anger in his voice. She'd injured you, and he didn't appreciate that. "I paid for your parlor and sent you clients."
"Not enough, not enough," she cried. "I needed more. To go home."
The cane against her throat pressed harder against her windpipe, and she coughed, trying to get air. "Is that so?"
You held up a hand, silencing Kaz as you peered at her tear-stained face. This was not the desperation of someone who just wanted to return home. It was more than that. She wasn't just trying to support herself. "Who are you trying to return to?"
She shook her head, displacing the cane against her throat. A bruise blossomed where it had once been, but she was powerless to heal it with her hands pinned. "I didn't want to," she croaked. "I didn't want to do it. I needed the money."
"She asked you a question," Kaz growled. His hand twitched, threatening to bring the cane down again, and Amalia flinched.
"A boy. My father sent me away because he didn't approve, but I swore I'd return." She sobbed again and let her eyes slip shut. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Saints forgive me."
"Move," you said softly, gesturing for Jesper to release her from gunpoint. He glanced up at you, unconvinced, but you nodded to confirm the order. Jesper holstered his weapon but kept her arm pinned beneath his knee. "Release her. Both of you."
The boys moved back but remained within striking and shooting distance. Unease rolled off them in waves, and Kaz twitched beside you, itching to follow through with his threat. You looked down at Amalia and took in how bruised and battered she was, all because she'd tried to get home. 
You had a choice. You could let Kaz kill her as he'd vowed to do, or you could let her go home. Nothing could remove the bounty she'd placed on your head except for your death or capture by the Dime Lions, but you could provide her with the means she needed to go home. You'd gain nothing but less weight on your conscience. In Ketterdam, that wasn't good enough. There always needed to be more, but for you...
You could nurture that small piece of good within you, protect it from the viciousness of Ketterdam. You would never be kind, nor could you take back the wounds left on her skin. But you could help her where everyone else hadn't.
You reached into the inner pocket of your coat for the pouch of kruge containing your last month's wages. "A ship leaves at dawn from Fifth Harbor, bound for Ravka. Tell them Dirtyhands sent you." You glanced at Kaz, begging him to agree. He didn't look pleased, but he nodded.
Amalia's eyes widened when she saw the pouch of kruge, but you recognized the doubt in them. 
"We have no tolerance for fake coin." You held out the purse to her. "It should be enough to get you wherever you need to be."
Shakily, Amalia sat up and took the money. Her eyes flicked between the three of you. "I'm sorry," she whispered again. 
You shook your head. You didn't want to hear apologies. "Don't. Make it worth it, and don't look back."
She opened the pouch and saw it was all genuine kruge. Slowly, she got to her feet and smoothed out her clothing. Her wounds started to heal, and then she pressed gentle fingers to your face. The bruise there disappeared, as did your growing headache.
Then, without a word, Amalia darted out of the alley and vanished.
"A moment, Jesper," Kaz murmured. He'd been remarkably silent through the whole exchange.
Jesper looked at you as if he didn't recognize you, then left without argument, stepping out of the alley to wait for you and Kaz.
The two of you were silent for a few long moments, looking down at the blood-splattered ground. Guilt gnawed at you. Amalia only wanted to return home to the boy she loved, and the three of you had attacked her. But she'd handed you to the Dime Lions first, and you still had to contend with that while she could escape the city. You weren't sure how to feel.
"That was too kind," Kaz finally said. "She deserved much worse."
You shook her head. "No, she didn't," you responded, then lapsed into silence again. You forced yourself to look away from the bloodstains on the ground.
"Ketterdam doesn't deserve someone like you." Kaz looked up at the cloudy sky, ready to drop rain over your heads at any moment. But still, there were a few patches where sunlight was trying to break through. You were a lot like that, he thought. Sunny and kinder than most in the city, trying to find the patches of good within him and Ketterdam. He was like the rain on a summer evening, washing away the good at every turn.
Kaz didn't add the rest of what he wanted to say. I don't either.
"You deserve more," you whispered, turning your face to the sky. You slipped your hand into his. You wished you could tell him again that you didn't blame him for the danger you were now in, but this wasn't the place. You settled for clasping his hand and lacing your fingers with his while the rest of Ketterdam continued on under the hazy sky.
He tapped your shoe with his cane in response, and it seemed to mean infinitely more now. More than just I'm here. Because you chose him and all of his faults, and you chose this city with its violence, greed, and corruption. Kaz kept your hand in his as he led you back out of the alley and into the carriage to go home, hoping it would tell you just how grateful he was that you were there.
TAGLIST: @tonberry-yoda @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r
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petertingle-yipyip · 13 days ago
Text
STRANGER (xiii) - KAZ BREKKER
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tags: @beekeepingageissome @shadowzena43 @nikfigueiredo @mp-littlebit @starmansirius @hadesnumber1daughter @directioner5life @strvngestark @hostilityghost @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @justnerdystuffs @faeriepigeons // previously // next
Pairing: Kaz x Davina Rollins (enemies to lovers)
Word Count: 6,863
Summary: An unseen clock ticks down and alliances shift. Tensions rise behind the scenes in the Barrel and when a player leaves the board, a new conflict unfolds.
“I won’t tell you!” She screamed, shooting up in the bed.
You jolted awake from your spot on the floor, moonlight streaming through the window. Your knife was in your hand in an instant while your eyes darted around the room. You quickly realized you were in Melli’s room so you dropped the knife and sat on the edge of the bed.
You reached for her arms and gave her a gentle shake. Her eyes weren’t open but she was thrashing against you.
“Mellaney!” You said urgently. After the first few times of her doing that, you realized her full name got a quicker response.
As expected, her eyes opened and her expression fell to one that shot through your chest.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered. Her eyes watered and her lower lip quivered. “I didn’t… I promise.”
You said nothing. Instead, you pulled her into a tight embrace. Her hands fisted the back of your shirt and you felt her silent sobs.
It was three days since you got her back and she still couldn’t sleep through the night. You hadn’t slept in your own room since either. It felt haunted with the ghost of your last argument with Kaz, as if Jordie had come to hold you accountable for your harsh words.
If it wasn’t you sleeping on her floor, it was Kol while you watched over the Poisoned Rook. You used the time in the office to figure out how to keep your friends out of the fight considering your father knew their names and faces. The secret of your home’s location was the only shadow left for you to hide them in but they’d only stay in it if you barricaded them inside.
You were damn near considering it.
“I swear…” Her voice was muffled against your shoulder. “I didn’t tell ‘em anything, I swear.”
“It wouldn’t matter if you did.” You said softly. 
“They kept saying I would break and when you found out, you’d kill me yourself.”
“All that matters is you’re safe now. You could’ve told the Lions everything and I’d still welcome you home, Mel. You’re my family and this is where you belong. That’s all I care about.”
She pulled away first and wiped her arm across her eyes. “What about Brekker?”
“What about him?” Your brows furrowed. You hadn’t mentioned much about Kaz other than the fact that he sent Wylan.
She shook her head.
“Maybe it wasn’t…” She trailed off and you realized something.
Melli was trying to distinguish what was real from what was taunts from the Dime Lions, what she could believe and what was used to torture her. If your heart could break anymore, it did at that moment.
“Brekker’s fine.” You promised, even though you had no idea. Ever since he left, he stayed gone.
It was for the best, you knew, but it still hurt. Even if it was exactly what you were trying to do. Maybe you’d visit Nina soon to ask how they all were.
“He was here.” She spoke slowly, trying to piece together the idea. Patiently, you let her. “I heard you and him yelling.”
“We were.” You nodded and her eyes seemed to brighten at the confirmation. “We do that a lot.”
“You were the angry one.”
“The idiot took a bullet the night we went to get you. I didn’t know he was going to be there. We brought him here to help him but I started a fight with him. I haven’t talked to him since.”
“Oh…”
“It’s alright.” You forced a smile. “I’m just glad he’s alive.”
“Pekka’s afraid, you know?” She changed the subject and you were glad. “I heard him talking to some of the Dime Lions that watched me.”
“He was there?” A new anger burned out your regret.
“Once. He was afraid of what would happen if you and Brekker actually came together. He didn’t outright say it but he thinks the Lions can take you both individually, not together.”
“Hmm.” You nodded slightly. “I’ll talk it over with Kol. Maybe he can help me figure something out.”
“He’s taken over for me, hasn’t he?”
“Temporarily, but you’ll always be my right hand. As soon as you’re up for it, you’ll be right where you left off.”
“You should keep him as your lieutenant.” She shook her head. “He’s stronger than me, a better fighter and a better soldier.”
“I never said my lieutenant needed to be a soldier. A strategist or a diplomat is just as useful.”
“He’ll serve you better than I can.”
“That’s up to you.” You said, swallowing your sadness. “If you want to take a step back after everything, I’ll understand, but we don’t have to make that decision right now. I can’t imagine what you went through…”
“They wanted to know everything... Where we stay, what jobs we have planned, what your relationship with Brekker was, if Kol was the only Grisha in our ranks, how many we have, how much money we have.” She wrapped her arms around herself like she could make herself smaller.
You noted the faint appearance of bruises across her wrists and forearm, the only evidence of the prior breaks. Kol had spent the better part of a day repairing those bones. The wrap around her chest was still there to secure the cracked ribs she suffered. Various bruises littered her back and stomach. Knife wounds healed and turned into faint scars on her legs. All traces of injury were gone from her face.
Kol worked himself into exhaustion putting Melli physically back together. While he rested, the least you could do was try to help put some of her mental pieces back together.
“You’re so strong, Mel.” You said softly. “They would’ve broken anyone else.”
“Not you.” She argued quietly. “You would’ve taken it and laughed. Spit in their faces.”
“I would’ve told them anything if it would’ve kept you safe.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.”
“No, I probably would’ve ran my mouth so much they would’ve put a bullet in my head instead.” You tried to joke.
“You would’ve lied or came up with something clever that would’ve put them into some unspoken trap that Brekker set.”
“Brekker won’t help me anymore. Him and the rest of the Dregs are keeping distance.”
“That’s not my point.”
“Right, I’m sorry.”
“The point, Davina, is that you and Kol, Kaz and all his friends, you’re all made for this Barrel life. I’m not…”
Before you could argue, Adrin came bursting through the door.
“Sorry. Good to see you awake, Melli” She smiled sheepishly. “Davina, we need you downstairs.”
“What’s wrong?” You stood. A new feeling of dread settled under your skin while your mind raced through what could be happening. You started to formulate a plan to try and get everyone out, the kind of distraction you’d need to keep focus from whoever was coming for you. Luckily, her explanation calmed your racing thoughts.
“Nik’s starting fights.” She frowned.
Melli threw her blanket back and you saw, from the corner of your eye, her swing her legs towards the floor. You wanted to tell her to stay out and rest, but you figured she was getting antsy and keeping her away from the action would do nothing to show that you still wanted her beside you. Instead, you gestured for Adrin to help and you hurried down the stairs, practically jumping them two at a time.
When you finally reached the main room, your Snakes were clustered around something. You could hear the sounds of shuffling feet, taunting cheers, and numbers being yelled. You elbowed your way to the center and once you reached it, the crowd quieted almost immediately but some kruge still exchanged hands.
“Someone care to explain?” You asked loudly.
Nik grinned viciously at you, drawing immediate suspicion. Carmen was the other person in the center and when she met your gaze, you immediately clocked the blood on her teeth and anger in her eyes. She didn’t start the fight but she was damned willing to finish it.
“There she is!” Nik announced and your glare shifted, allowing Carmen to fade back into the crowd. He had a stream of blood from his nose and a blossoming bruise around his right eye. “The Dreg slut!”
A collective gasp from behind you.
“If you want to keep your tongue, I suggest you apologize.” You warned tightly.
“Come on, Davina!” He laughed. “We all know you’re tumbling with Dirtyhands. You get turns with the Wraith as well?”
You rolled your eyes at the ridiculous rumor. “Funny
how you didn’t say any of this when they were here.”
“That’s why he got involved with Melli, right? Cause you’re just that good to him.”
“I can’t tell you why he helped us because I don’t know.” You admitted. 
“Trouble in paradise?” His taunts continued.
“What I do know is that you are terrified of Brekker and the Wraith. You’ll say just about anything to keep them away from here, right?”
A chorus of muttered agreements came from the crowd.
“But Brekker and the Dregs have never moved against us. Have they?” You turned to your Snakes. “They aren’t exactly friends, but they aren’t our enemy. Dime Lions are our enemy! Dime Lions nearly killed Melli. Dime Lions have tried to make us into a joke.”
Some Snakes cheered.
“Because of you!” Nik yelled and you took a deep breath before facing him again. “Because you’re Davina Rollins!”
“So what?” You yelled. “I’m a Rollins by birth and nothing else. He’s afraid of us. He knows we’re coming for him and he can’t stop it.”
“Davina?” You spun immediately towards Kol’s voice. You hadn’t even realized he was back, but you weren’t surprised to see he had made it to Melli’s side. “Stadwatch is prowling around the Rook. They’re looking for you.”
Your expression fell immediately. Nik laughed again and you whirled on him. He held his arms out to his sides tauntingly. 
He turned you in. The immediate thought was loud, pounding against your skull, but you didn’t want to believe it. How could he? You took Nik in when he was beaten out of his own home. He was one of your earlier members yet the potential for his betrayal seemed far too likely.
The Snakes closest to him stepped back as if they sensed your desire to beat a confession from him. One closest to you handed you a blade before taking their own step back.
“Davina?” Melli’s voice barely reached you.
“Lock him up.” You said flatly. “Keep him shackled till I get back.”
You turned away and almost immediately, your Snakes acted on your command. Some didn’t, looking between you and Nik with uncertainty.
“Say it.” You challenged.
“The Dregs know where we are now.” Aryan said firmly. “What’s to stop them from coming after us now? Our secret was supposed to keep us safe. You promised that.”
“Why would they?” You shrugged. “We’ve never crossed them.” Not as a group, but you personally betrayed Kaz. At least if he was going to come after you for that, it’d be specifically against you.
“We can’t trust them!” Soleeya yelled from deep within the crowd.
“Brekker helped bring Melli home!” Adrin countered. “That’s worth something!”
“Dirtyhands killed my brother!” Aryan continued.
You considered that. It was possible and not entirely unlikely, but it also seemed too convenient.
“The Wraith ruined my uncle’s career!” Stephan added.
“Wasn’t your uncle a slaver?” Carmen yelled.
“Fahey owes me money!” Fayven shouted.
“That’s your own fault. Fahey owes everyone money!” Kol argued.
“Enough!” You yelled over the chaos. “I will not sit here and let us implode because of one professional courtesy.  Kaz Brekker and the Dregs have a long list of complaints. Fine. But guess what? In the grand scheme of things, there is no ill-will.”
“What if you’re wrong?” Nik continued.
“If I’m wrong, then I’ll hand over control of the Snakes to whoever can beat me.” You shrugged. “Until then, you’ll shut your mouth. Another word against the Dregs from any of you and your jaw’s wired shut. Understood?”
You spun in a slow circle, ensuring eye contact with each and every Snake.
Everyone made some sort of noise in agreement before dispersing. Kol looked over your shoulder to Nik, who was currently detained by two Snakes. You heard the thud and a moment later, Kol’s eyes met yours.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
You dropped the spare blade into your boot. “To deal with Stadwatch. Someone sold me out so you’ll need to post bail. Gather my personal funds, get my stash from the Rook if you need to. Until I’m back, keep them from tearing each other apart.”
“You’re not wrong about them.” Melli said quietly. “Even if the Dregs as a whole hate us, they listen to Brekker. Keep him and you keep them all.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t have him.” You confessed quietly.
“His Crows seem to think otherwise.” Kol teased.
You rolled your eyes before taking off. 
“Blink last.” Melli called out as the door was closing being you.
By the time you got to the front door of the Poisoned Rook, the sun was rising. Ketterdam was waking up and Stadwatch was on you.
They yanked your arms before your back before slamming the shackles around your wrists. You winced slightly at the pressure but said nothing. You kept your head high as the onlookers slowed. Even the various doormen quieted for the spectacle.
Your eyes darted among the crowd for a familiar face. You didn’t find your father, which made you reconsider if he sold you out. Wouldn’t he want to witness your arrest?
Instead, your gaze found Kaz and his stupid hat.
He wore a blank expression that you quietly cursed. You nodded in acknowledgment and he took that as his cue to leave. Frowning to yourself, you were paraded away.
You waited in the cold cell alone, laying on the worn mattress. There was a small window on the opposite wall with three vertical bars. No way for you to slip through. 
You found yourself thinking that Inej could probably do it.
You watched the light change and tried to count off the minutes you waited. You lost count by the time an officer came for you. Again, your hands were wrenched behind your back and you were guided down to a room that was void of furniture, save for two chairs and a heavy wooden table. You were shoved into one chair and the officer sat in the other.
“Davina Maxim Rollins.” He began and you winced slightly at your full name. “You are being charged with arson, possession of illegal substances, inhibition of trade, robbery, and general criminal mischief.”
“Who’s raising the charges?” You asked plainly.
“Are you aware of this building?” He ignored your words, pulling a folded map from his pocket instead. A red circle surrounded the cafe. 
“Vaguely.” You shrugged.
“It burned down a few nights ago, one of Pekka Rollins’ properties.”
“Shouldn’t you be talking to Pekka then?”
“We did. He didn’t know anything but said you might.”
You frowned to yourself. Your father may not have turned you in but he sure was willing to utilize a chance to get you out of his way.
“And you take everything he says as truth?” You countered. The officer’s frown deepened.
“When I was young, I used to go there with my friends. One would talk trade with the owner.” You smiled slightly at the memory.
Regardless of it being part of your father’s con, it was still a memory of Kaz and Jordie. That would always trump any affiliation to Pekka.
“I haven’t been there in years, not since I found out it was part of an old con Pekka used to run. Figured it was abandoned by now.” 
“And this?” From another pocket, he withdrew a shard of glass. “Scientists found traces of a drug from the Shu Han.”
Now that was interesting. You didn’t know the kvas was laced with a Shu drug considering Wylan never mentioned that. That alone made you doubt whether Stadwatch had facilities equipped to know that for certain or whether that was an actual shard from your jars. Someone likely fed them that information, the same someone who turned you in, and that had to be one of your Snakes. No one else knew what made up the gas.
Wylan wouldn’t turn you in, which only pointed another finger at Nik.
Another nail in the coffin.
“Do I look Shu?” You finally said when you realized how the silence had stretched. “My father’s heritage is the Isle, my mother Kerch. I wouldn’t know anything about a Shu drug if someone shoved it down my throat.”
“Did you purchase the drug?”
“No.”
“Did you steal it?”
“No.”
“Do you know where it came from?”
“You just said the Shu. My guess would be the ships of slavers you all never seem to catch. No doubt those ‘indentures’ need something to make the handover easier.”
“Ms. Rollins, this is your first time with Stadwatch.” He switched tactics in response to your growing hostility. “I’d hate to lock you away so young. Tell us something useful and we can work out a deal.”
“A tragedy.” You gave a sarcastic pout. “I don’t know about the cafe. I don’t know about the drug. I don’t know about any of Mr. Rollins’ properties or his men or any inhibition of trade. I mind my own, Officer, and I’d like to return to it.”
“What of Ms. Mellaney Dodgion? A report came in not too long ago of her being taken from Tante Heleen at the Menagerie and the suspect matches your description. She was quite adamant it was you.”
You snorted. You met Melli years ago. Whether that was truly considered ‘not too long ago’, you didn’t argue. Buy leave it to Stadwatch to believe whoever can shell out the most kruge.
“Ms. Dodgion had no contact or requirement to be with the Menagerie. It was a price her mother had to pay, what for I don’t know and don’t care. Besides, I’ve never had a conversation with Tante Heleen. I’d likely knock her teeth out if I ever did.” You spoke truthfully. “I despise the woman because she’s cruel, taking girls younger than me and putting them into horrendous situations. If anyone’s going to know about illegal drugs, it’d be her. But her coffers are always so full so Stadwatch keeps away, right? No, you’d rather bother little old me.” You heaved a dramatic sigh.
“And your affiliations with Dirtyhands?”
“A pretty little thing, he is.” You allowed a flush to cross your cheeks, hoping it portrayed an innocent crush. “It’s true that I’ve been to the Crow Club. Who hasn’t? But I swear, I could knock the man over the head with his cane and he still wouldn’t give me so much a glance.”
“We have it on good authority-“
“Who’s?” You cut in. “If you don’t have evidence against me, either post a bail for ‘criminal mischief’ or release me. I have no information for you, Officer. But even if I did, I’d never tell you.”
He frowned at you before mumbling about useless arrest and wasting time. You caught the name among his complaints.
Nik.
“Shall we send summons for your father to collect you?” He asked as he stood.
“Do that and my death is on you.” You laughed. “No, a friend is already on the way with enough pocket change to make this all go away.”
His eyes lit up at the mention of money.
“I do wish you had been more cooperative.” He sighed.
“The problem with that is that if I told you anything, you’d want more. You’d threaten anyone and anything you could to keep me compliant. I’d get nothing from it except a reputation of being a rat… Nik has done enough of that, don’t you think?”
He paled before hurrying out of the room. A new officer came and escorted you back to your cell to wait for Kol. You didn’t enjoy the new potential of eyes on you. Avoiding Dregs and Dime Lions was one thing, but to actively avoid Stadwatch was another. It was an aggressive wrench in all your plans, so you’d need to come into power quickly.
Your first concern, however, was ridding yourself of the rat.
Another hour passed before you were released and you managed to snag a short nap on the scratchy cot. You had to admit, it was more comfortable than the floor. You and Kol were quiet as you walked back to the Poisoned Rook. You didn’t miss the whispers that followed, the new rumors about you already brewing.
“What’s been done with Nik?” You asked, sorting through a trunk of costume pieces you’d been collecting.
“He’s been unconscious since you left. Why?” Kol answered simply. “And what are you looking for?”
You threw a short blonde wig onto your desk before starting to braid your hair. “I’m nearly certain he tried to sell me out to Stadwatch.”
“And you need a wig because…”
“I can’t bring him here to discuss it. He’ll try to rally the Snakes around him.” You pinned the braid around your head in a neat crown before fixing the wig into place. “However, I need thisn conversation to be public enough that he doesn’t feel immediately threatened. I’m not welcome in the Emerald Palace, nor do I want to go back there, which leaves…”
“The Crow Club.” Kol sighed. “I could’ve Tailored you if you’re doing this to avoid Brekker.”
“Drag Nik to the Club if you have to.” You reached into your boot and withdrew the blade. You tucked it into the front of your belt instead.
“Will you kill him?”
“Not directly.” You shook your head. “But we are walking him to his execution.”
“We?”
“Yes. You’re coming with me.”
He sighed slightly. “I should get back to Melli.”
“It wasn’t a request. You’re coming to make sure Kaz is busy while I’m there.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Talk to him.” You shrugged.
You weren’t alone at the Club for long. You took a seat at one of the card tables to pass the time. Nik slid into the seat next to you by the third hand. You caught Kol’s eye as he was being led to Kaz’s office. He offered a subtle nod and you wondered for a brief moment what they would talk about.
“Why are we meeting here?” Nik asked tightly. “What happened with Stadwatch?”
“Nothing, obviously.” You smiled. “And we’re here because it’s neutral ground, right?”
“You have power here and we both know it.” He spat.
“And you have none. A little birdie told me you’re not welcome here.”
“Yes, so let’s make this quick. Shall we?” His fingers were anxiously tapping the table.
“Nik, you betrayed me.” You said truthfully, spinning in your seat to face him. “You sold me out.”
“I did no such thing.” He whispered harshly. “It was your father, if anyone. It was his building you burned, his crew you’re killing!”
“I never said what the pretense of my arrest was.” Your head cocked in faux curiosity. “How’d you know?”
“Well, I- People talk, of course. Nothing stays secret in the Barrel for long, right?” He chuckled nervously.
With one hand, you carefully drew your blade with hopes of avoiding suspicion. With the other, you reached for the tucked end of his shirt. Nik was quick to grab your wrist so you leaned in with an innocent expression.
“All it takes is one word and I can have Dirtyhands here to end your life.” You said sweetly. “But I don’t want to do that to you, Nik. That’s why I came in disguise. You’ve been with me for a good while.”
“And I’ve been loyal to your fight. To you, Davina.” He tried, swallowing hard when you didn’t falter. “Please. I can explain.”
“You see…” You pulled more on his shirt until it came fully untucked. You gently pushed the fabric up until you saw the head of the snake tattoo on his lower abdomen. “I can take a few back-handed comments. I’ve gotten them my whole life, it feels like.”
“Davina…” He sounded breathless, frozen by your touch and words.
You slid out your chair, the sound of your feet landing lost in the sounds of the Crow Club. You felt a few lingering gazes on you so you played a part as the dealer stepped away. You inched forward so Nik’s knee was between your legs. To anyone else, you two were a pairing that was hitting it off and due for a good night. If anyone bothered to look closer, they’d see the burning purpose in your eyes.
“I can take it, Nik, but I won’t let betrayal and mutiny exist in my home. I just won’t.” You laughed with a shrug. You kept the shirt pinned up while you pressed the cold blade against his skin, just above where the tattoo started.
“I’ll leave Ketterdam.” He tried desperately. “I swear to you, Davina, you’ll never see me again.”
“I’m sorry.” You said with fake sympathy. “But I just can’t trust you. So long as you bear my patron, you reap the benefits. Let’s say you do leave but end up back here for one reason or another… That tattoo implies you’re safe and welcome with us, but you’re not. Not anymore.”
“Please, Davi. I’m begging you.” His eyes darted between yours. He didn’t bother to hide his fear as he recognized his mistake.
“No you’re not.” You pushed on the knife and his jaw clenched to avoid crying out. You shushed him gently.
As you slid the metal under his skin, you leaned in to speak quietly in his ear. “Taking your tattoo is a mercy. I won’t risk my people’s safety for you.”
You leaned away and pulled the knife the rest of the way through. The flap of skin landed on his thigh. You let his shirt fall back into place before you picked up the bloodied flesh. His breath was coming in heavy pants as he clutched the seeping wound.
“Mercy.” He spat at you, any trace of your former friend and ally gone. You quietly lifted your eyebrows. “You couldn’t give me the mercy of your Healer?”
“No.” You answered firmly. You slapped the flesh over the back of his other hand before slamming the knife down, pinning his hand - and the skin inked with the head of the snake - to the table. “Because he is my Healer. He is my people, and you aren’t anymore. My mercy comes by way of you bleeding out before Dirtyhands gets to you. Ask the Saints that he kills you quickly..”
His head snapped towards you and you smiled wickedly.
“You think the Wraith didn’t see you come in here? You truly think the Bastard doesn’t know you’re here? Or that a cheap wig can truly fool him? Or that Kol wouldn’t have told him by now, considering your little trick could’ve put Melli in danger?” You laughed slightly. “You think I’m a fool but you don’t even know the trap you walked into.”
“He’ll kill me.” Nik panicked.
“Better him than me.” You shrugged and backed away. “If I ever see you after this, your death won’t be kind.”
“I hope Pekka destroys you.” He spat.
Silently, you smiled and turned on your heel. On your way out, you caught Jesper near the door.
“New look, huh?” Jesper grinned and flicked the blonde hair. His eyes scanned the wig and then your face then your body. His eyes lingered on your hand and you subtly rubbed your fingers together. Blood. He met your gaze with an unspoken question in his eyes.
“Tell Mr. Brekker there’s a gift for him at one of his card tables.” You said instead.
Jesper turned and quickly looked at the tables. His focus stopped on Nik trying to free his hand. He already seemed weakened from the blood loss.
“That’s… That’s one of yours, innit?” Jesper turned back to you.
“He bears no snake.” You shrugged and you saw Jesper’s attention dart back down to the blood on your hand. “Tell Dirtyhands to have fun with that one.”
“Saints, Davs.” He sighed. “What’d the poor man do?”
You said nothing. You had already begun backing away.
“Hang on.” Jesper tried to reach for you but you had already blended into the exiting crowd. You hung in the doorway to catch his last few words. “Kaz is gonna kill me when I tell him she’s come and gone.”
That comment seemed promising.
You felt a hand around yours to pull you away. You tensed, ready to fight, but relaxed when you saw it was just Kol.
“How’d it go?” He asked when you fell into stride with him.
“He tried to blame Pekka instead of owning up to it, so I took his tattoo and left him there. Whatever happens now isn’t my problem.” You answered.
“You took his tattoo in the middle of the Crow Club?”
“It was a tricky spot so I only managed to cut off the head. I couldn’t exactly take his pants off to get the rest off his hip. Imagine those rumors.” You shook your head. “What did you talk to Kaz about?”
“You.”
You silently nodded. You had expected as much but something about it still felt strange.
“I assume he’s still angry.” You tried to sound nonchalant but judging by the glance Kol gave, you didn’t.
“He’s always angry, it seems.” Kol joked. “But he seemed more angry at himself than you. You, he was more hurt by.”
You sighed regretfully.
“I know you believe you’re doing what you have to and I can’t convince you otherwise.” Kol continued. “But be careful that it doesn’t get to a point of no return. When this is all over, I assume you’ll want more of a life. You deserve that much but you won’t have it if you villainize yourself against everyone you love.”
“I don’t love him.”
“Don’t you?”
You made a noncommittal sound and let Kol guide you to the Rook. He went back to your building, mentioning something about resetting one of Melli’s ribs that weren’t aligned. When you hurried to ask him about it, he pulled a face and shrugged. You made a mental note to kick him in the shins when you saw him again.
When you got to your office, Inej was waiting for you.
“Not even Stadwatch can keep you.” She said with a small smile. “Can they?”
“Not when I have such important things to do.” You laughed slightly and pulled the wig off. “What do you have for me?”
She handed you an envelope. Inside was Heleen’s guard rotation, a sketch of the girl who was supposedly willing to help you, a blueprint of the Menagerie, and a rough schedule.
“You’ve been busy.” You commented.
She gave a casual shrug. “I still can’t figure out what Kaz is willing to trade.”
“I’m sure I’ll know it when I see it.”
“You’ve been busy as well.” She gestured to the wig you dropped on your desk. “Jesper said something about an abandoned Snake.”
“Not abandoned.” You shook your head. “Disowned. Nik chose his own fate.”
“Nik? The one who ran his mouth when you brought us in?”
You nodded and she tried to hide her smirk.
“Has anything else happened with the Lions?” You asked. Something told you that you wouldn’t have much time left with Inej that night.
“Nothing big. Kaz had a little interaction with a few when he was around the Orchid.”
“The Orchid isn’t Dime Lion territory.” Your brows furrowed.
“A new acquisition, apparently. Maybe to make up for the money he lost when you took this place over.”
“It’s still strange for him to be interested in a Pleasure House…” You pinned the thought to figure out relevance
later.
“They tried to warn us off the job.” She continued. “He doesn’t care. We leave in two days.”
“I don’t think there’s a soul in Ketterdam that can warn Kaz of anything.” You laughed slightly. “You probably have the best shot.”
She gave you a pointed look.
“He very easily tells me no.” You defended.
“Yet he still does it.”
You waved a hand to dismiss the thought. “Wylan told me about your group’s little saying, instead of good luck… Melli and I have one, too. We say to blink last and die tomorrow.”
A hesitant knock sounded at your office door, the coded knock for your building. You felt a new concern in your veins as you held a finger to your lips to signal Inej. The Wraith was already inching towards the window.
“Everything alright?” You called out.
“You have a visitor.” Adrin answered. You didn’t miss the uncertainty in her voice.
“I shouldn’t.”
“He was very… Insistent.”
You turned to Inej, now perched on your windowsill.
“No mourners.” She mouthed.
“No funerals. Blink last.” You returned silently.
“Die tomorrow.” She grinned before slipping out and disappearing from view.
You went and sat behind your desk, tucking away Inej’s intel.
“Fine.” You called out, not bothering to hide the annoyance. “Come in.”
After a moment, the door opened and Adrin walked in first. She mouthed an apology before stepping aside, letting the visitor in.
You had only a moment to be surprised before settling your features to a mask of indifference. You simply
nodded to Adrin before she slipped back out.
“You shouldn’t bully my doorman.” You scolded lightly and dropped the wig to the floor behind your desk.
“She should stand her ground better.” Kaz shrugged, looking everywhere in your office but at you.
“You shouldn’t be here at all.”
“You’re likely right.”
“So why are you?”
“Your Heartrender came to see me today.”
You briefly wondered if that was what your dynamic had fallen to. Sharp, one sentence responses with little to no emotion.
“Well, Kol is free to go out and make friends. What does that have to do with me?”
“He didn’t tell you?” Finally, Kaz met your gaze. You only shrugged at him. “We’re leaving Ketterdam for a job.”
Briefly, you wondered why Kol didn’t tell you. You couldn’t remember if you had already mentioned it to him, but if you hadn’t, Kaz was likely trying to push your buttons. You didn’t give him much of a reaction.
“I’d offer you my luck but it doesn’t seem to do anyone any favors.” You said, a slight edge to your words. “May the Saints watch over you.”
He scoffed slightly. “I don’t care for Saints.”
“Only profit, right? You believe in yourself and your friends and nothing else.”
You could see the thoughts behind his eyes, unspoken words that he reconsidered several times over. He seemingly decided against them all.
“How’s Melli?” He asked instead. He made his way over to her desk, which you had only recently put back the way it should be after letting Wylan work on it. You watched as he examined some of her trinkets.
“Why are you here, Kaz?” You tried again.
For some reason, it didn’t seem like he had an answer. Not one he wanted to share, at least. He glanced over his shoulder at you then returned to his inspection of Melli’s collection.
“She’s alright.” You said. “Still a bit banged up, but I think her mind is in more pain than her body. She’s up and moving, which is good. She’s strong, but she may not want to return as my lieutenant. And then Nik went and tried to have me arrested so things are a bit uneasy across the board.”
You hoped you didn’t have to specify that he was included in the last bit.
“Is that why you had him stripped of his tattoo and left in my Club?” He glanced over his shoulder at you again, one of Melli’s pendants - one you had gotten from a Ravkan vendor for her birthday - in his hand. You could see the hint of a smile on his face, like he knew where it came from.
“Is that where he went off to?” You shrugged, the indifference playing in your voice. “Hmm, guess he chose a cruel death.”
“He’s not dead, not yet at least.”
“You’ll use him for information then.” You sighed slightly. “Well you won’t have to torture anything out of him. I’m sure he’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
“I don’t need anything from him.” He almost sounded offended as he came to sit across from you. “Your Snakes aren’t the problem.”
“Everyone else in the Barrel would disagree.” You dramatically threw an arm to the side. “You thrive off leverage. Nik could tell you everything you need to keep us under your thumb. You’d be an idiot to not take advantage of that and you never pass on this kind of opportunity.”
 “You think so little of me, Dear. For all you know, I know what I need to know about you and your friends. I don’t want to fight you right now.”
 “If you’re not here to threaten me or taunt me with all the details Nik could give you, why are you here?”
“We leave in two days.” He repeated the information you already had. Did he know Inej had come to you or was she that good at keeping her secrets? “And I’ve come to offer you a job while we’re gone.”
Now that was interesting.
“Pekka will see this as collusion.” You pointed out as you came around your desk to lean against it beside him.
“Who said Pekka needs to know?” He shrugged casually.
“I’m listening.”
“I need you to keep an eye on my Crow Club.”
“Can’t Haskell look out for his own turf?” You raised your brows in slight challenge. “Why do you need me?”
“Because I trust you.”
“You don’t trust Haskell?”
“The man wouldn’t realize something was wrong until it slapped him in the face.”
“Why come to me after what I said to you?”
His fingers drummed the crow’s head atop his cane.
“Crows tell each other who has been kind to them.” He explained and you felt dumbfounded for a second. What that had to do with anything was beyond you but you let him talk, if only to keep him there. “They tell each other who to look out for… You always looked out for me, Vina. You’ve always been kind.”
“And it’s turned into my greatest weakness. My kindness has gotten too many people hurt.” Your eyes fell to the spot on his chest where the bullet hit for a moment.
“Pain is part of life in the Barrel. Those who cannot bear it never belonged here. Those who can are stronger for it.”
“What one can bear and what they should have to bear aren’t the same.” You said quickly. “I shouldn’t have to bear the weight of my father’s forgotten sins but I do. You shouldn’t have to bear the weight of it either but you do. I can’t fix that for either of us. I can’t keep Melli and Kol and the rest of them safe. I cant-“
“You do what you have to.” The head of his cane lightly thumped against your chest, right over your heart. “You always have. Sometimes your kindness is what’s needed rather than your father’s cruelty.”
“Why would you need someone to watch the Club anyway?” You pushed the cane away and redirected the conversation as you recognized the recurring argument looming.
“I don’t need anyone taking advantage.”
“Who would…” You began but then a new understanding washed over you. With a jolt, you considered what he was risking for Inej’s buyout. You wouldn’t just be looking for some amount of kruge or some promised deal or trade. You’d have to steal back the Crow Club.
“What did you do?” You asked quietly, hoping you were wrong.
“Will you help me or not, Davina?” He asked firmly instead.
“Of course, you idiot.” You rolled your eyes slightly. You met his eyes and you thought of Kol’s words. If he was right and you could build more of a life in the Barrel, would it be so wrong to try? If you couldn’t have it, shouldn’t you fight for it instead of against it?
“I don’t suppose this means I’m forgiven?” You tried.
Saints help you.
“What do you think my forgiveness looks like?”
“I don’t know.” You confessed. “I guess I never thought I’d actually see it.”
“Do this for me and maybe you will.” He stood, offering you his hand to shake. You stood with him. “I may even be so moved with gratitude that I’ll give you a share of the haul.”
You snorted a small laugh. “I didn’t think you knew that word.”
“Share?”
“Gratitude.” You grinned and shook his hand. “The deal’s the deal.”
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delicatenightfury · 1 year ago
Text
Trust
2022 Month of Writing: Day 20
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader
Prompt: "It's hard to bury your past."
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Word Count: 3k (this turned out longer than I was expecting)
Author's Note: please don't steal my work! you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work
I'm not totally sold on this, but if you're interested in a part 2, please let me know!
I based this off the Netflix show Shadow and Bone (even though I liking the books better 😅) - just a heads up
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y/n pressed a damp cloth against her arm where she had gotten a long cut. She winced slightly but focused on cleaning the wound before it got infected. She and the other crows had just barely survived an encounter with Pekka Rollins and his men in what, unfortunately, was an ambush. Her abilities as a Squaller did help some, but one of the Dime Lions sliced her arms, making it more painful to control wind. She had been lucky with her injuries and required far less attention, thus why she was tending to herself. Nina needed to be focused on Inej instead of her.
She tensed slightly when she heard the familiar sound of footsteps accompanied by the thump of a cane. They stopped somewhere behind her, letting silence fill the room for several minutes. She knew it was petty, but she wasn’t going to be the one to speak first. Several minutes later, he finally caved.
“We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said lowly.
“It doesn’t matter. We need to talk.”
“Yes, it does matter, Kaz.” She sent him a glare over her shoulder. “You almost got us killed tonight.”
“We have to cut off Rollins’ resources-”
“Do we? You’ve been content just doing simple business for the Crows Club. Then, all of a sudden, you take a mission to saints know where and somehow manage to cross Rollins in the process. Now, we have been framed for murder. And I wasn’t involved in any of it, since you left me behind, yet I still got dragged into this mess.”
She threw down the cloth and picked up a clean one to press firmly against her arm. She held back another wince, glad that the bleeding had seemed to stop for now.
“The mission was need to know.”
She glared at him.
“And I didn’t need to know?” Kaz didn’t respond, but he didn’t look the least bit apologetic. “I had to go into hiding, Kaz, because Rollins added my name to that bounty before you even stepped foot onto the boat that brought you all back to Ketterdam.”
“It was never my intention.”
y/n scoffed.
Kaz slowly came closer, but still kept his distance.
“We were sent to Ravka to locate the rumored Sun Summoner,” he said.
That made y/n pause. She had heard the rumors. All of Ketterdam had. Especially when the Fold expanded and wiped out several towns. The Sun Summoner was a Grisha who was able to manipulate light, who might be able to use their power to help tear down the Fold once and for all.
“And?” she asked.
“We found her. The Darkling used her power to expand the Fold. We had several run-ins with her, but she didn’t come back to Ketterdam with us. Our employer was looking for answers.”
“About the Sun Summoner?”
“Amongst other things.” She glanced at Kaz. He was looking at the far wall, but was only a few feet away from her now. Feeling her gaze, he looked down at her. “He took a particular interest in you.”
“Me?”
“He saw your wanted poster in the street and made an inquiry.”
“That’s not much to go off of, Kaz.”
“He’s a privateer. Rich. Seems to be from Ravka. His inquiry was brief, since his main focus was on the Sun Summoner, but he seemed determined.”
“Again, not completely helpful. This privateer have a name?”
“He called himself Sturmhond.” y/n froze. She knew Kaz was watching her for a reaction, but she couldn’t care. “You know him.”
y/n tossed the dirtied rag aside. She nodded slowly.
“I used to. It was a long time ago.”
“When?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because just hearing the name caused you to freeze up, y/n. I need to know if I can trust you to still function properly should we encounter him again.”
She looked at him.
“You’re worried about how well I’ll perform? Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kaz.” He continued to stare at her. She picked up clean bandages to begin wrapping her arm. “You don’t have to worry about it. It was a long time ago.”
“Not good enough.”
“Will you just leave it?”
“No.”
“Kaz-”
“y/n.”
“Drop it.”
“Tell me.”
She sighed.
“He’s my brother.”
There was a long beat of silence as Kaz took in her words.
“I wasn’t aware you still had family.”
She scoffed.
“As if I could call them that. I was the third child and therefore expendable. Being Grisha just gave them another reason to ignore me.”
She tightened the bandage she had put around her arm. It was a rough job, but it would hold until it could be properly looked at later. She began to clean up her supplies, sticking it in a corner for when it was needed again. As she moved, she caught a glimpse of Kaz. He was still looking at her, as if trying to find more answers.
“What?” she said. Her voice sounded more harsh than she meant it to.
“There’s more that you’re not telling me.”
y/n rolled her eyes.
“Just drop it, Kaz.”
“Not if you have information that will help us.”
“And how is my past going to help us with Pekka Rollins?”
“It will prove that I can trust you.”
y/n stopped. She set down the clothes she had been folding and looked at Kaz. His expression remained cold and hard. He rarely showed emotion as it was.
“You’re questioning my loyalty?” she asked. He simply stared at her, causing her to huff. “Thanks for that, Kaz. After all this time, I’m glad to know where we truly stand.”
She got up quickly and made her way to the door, passing by Kaz along the way.
“y/n-”
“Don’t. Just don’t.”
She hurried outside to avoid him seeing the hurt on her face.
The following week was rather eventful. The Crows had created quite a bit of chaos after releasing false Firepox at all of Pekka Rollins’ businesses. In the same night, Kaz got Rollins to lift the charges he had put on the Crows and admit that he was responsible for the crimes. Rollins had been arrested and taken to Hellgate.
During that time, Kaz and y/n had barely spoken to one another. They only spoke when necessary and even then, they did little to converse with one another. Jesper and Inej were quick to notice the difference. Even Nina and Wylan noticed but neither felt it was their place since they hadn’t known the Crows long.
y/n had been reading in her room when a sharp knock came. She stood and went to the door, finding Kaz on the other side.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Downstairs,” he said. “We have guests from Ravka.”
y/n sighed but nodded. She stepped around Kaz to make her way downstairs, letting him go to wake Wylan and Jesper.
“y/n?”
She looked up sharply at the familiar voice, her eyes widening.
“Zoya?”
The dark haired Squaller smiled widely. She moved forward to hug her.
“Saints, what are you doing here? We thought you were gone! Not even Baghra knew what happened.”
y/n looked down.
“Zoya-”
“And who is this?” A tall man approached them, a smile on his face.
“Tolya, this is y/n. Nikolai’s sister.”
Tolya’s smile grew.
“You’re Nikolai’s sister? It’s wonderful to finally meet you. I traveled with him for many years. He’s spoken of you often.”
y/n was going to respond when a glimpse of Kaz caught her eye. He was standing by the stairs, watching their interaction. Her shoulders deflated when his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. She knew immediately that he had caught at least part of their conversation. She looked back at Zoya.
“It’s a bit of a story,” she said. “One that can be shared later. I assume you are the guests Kaz told us about?”
“Yes. We have a mission for you.”
Soon, the Crows were seated in front of Zoya and Tolya, who handed them a document. 
“The neshyenyer?” Nina said after they had explained the mission. “Sankta Neyar’s blade.”
“So you haven’t completely forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace,” Zoya said with an almost taunting tone. “Just your loyalty to Ravka.”
y/n couldn’t help but feel like the statement was also directed at her.
“Ravka or Kirigan?” Nina countered. “It didn’t take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty.”
“So, that we all know you two have history,” Jesper said, “what’s the payment for this particular job?”
“Name your price,” Tolya said. “It matters that much.”
“Is that the Lantsov family crest?” Wylan asked, looking over Nina’s shoulder at the paper.
“You know it is because it’s hideous.”
Zoya shot her a glare before glancing at y/n, who only smiled in amusement. She was never a huge fan of the Lantsov crest. To hear someone felt the same was a little refreshing.
Tolya looked at the group. “Prince Nikolai requests your services to retrieve and deliver the neshyenyer to Alina Starkov in East Ravka.”
“She’s returned?” Nina said.
“As has the Darkling,” Zoya replied. “With an indestructible army of shadow monsters.”
“Saints,” y/n muttered.
“I do not like the sound of that,” Jesper said.
“She needs the blade to kill them. It’s the only thing that might work.”
“Retrieve the blade, and the prince will pay you whatever you ask.” Tolya told them.
“But I like the sound of that,” Jesper said.
“I assume same goes for you?” Zoya asked Kaz.
“I’d welcome the chance to help your prince spend his country’s money.”
Nina quickly expressed how instead of kruge she wanted someone released from Hellgate. Zoya decided to poke fun at Nina for her attraction, but y/n nudged her arm to quiet her. Nina had told y/n of Matthias, the Fjerdan she had fallen for before she came to Ketterdam. She admired Nina’s determination to free him.
“The offer is the offer,” Tolya said. “And Prince Nikolai is a man of his word.”
“But we need to go now,” Zoya told them.
y/n looked to Kaz, who was scanning over them. His eyes lingered on her for a long moment before he pocketed the document.
“It’s settled,” he said. “We’re in.”
The group dispersed quickly after to begin preparing. y/n watching Kaz walk away. When he disappeared upstairs, she sighed.
“Well something’s going on with you two,” Tolya said suddenly.
“Excuse me?” y/n said.
“You and Brekker.”
“It’s nothing.”
Tolya hummed as if he didn’t believe her.
“I haven’t been here long, but I can sense the tension between you two.” He slid into the seat that Zoya had vacated and tilted his head at her. “What happened?”
Despite being much larger than her, he did not come across as intimidating. y/n felt herself relax.
“You said that Nik told you about me. Well, I’ve never talked about my family. But when Nik was in town as Sturmhond not long ago, he made inquiries about me. Kaz demanded answers I wasn’t ready to give.” She sighed. “He implied that he couldn’t trust me.”
Tolya nodded slowly.
“Have you tried talking to him?” he asked.
“Kaz is unbelievably stubborn.”
“And if Nikolai’s stories have revealed anything, I believe you are too.” y/n chuckled. “So why haven’t you told him?” y/n paused and looked at him. Tolya offered a small smile. “Perhaps the first step in receiving trust is showing it? Someone always has to take the first step.”
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y/n watched Kaz from the doorway of his room. He was going through various maps and documents spread out over his desk. She knew that he knew she was there. Somehow he always knew. Nonetheless, she knocked on the doorframe.
“Yes?” Kaz said.
“We need to talk.”
He barely glanced at her.
“It’ll have to wait.”
“No, Kaz. We need to talk now. We can’t keep working like this and you know it.”
He huffed and looked at her as she stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. He leaned back against his desk.
“What is it?” he asked. “In case you’ve already forgotten, we have to leave for Shu Han soon.”
“I haven’t forgotten. But if this plan works, you need to know the truth.”
“About?”
“Me.” She waited for him to make a quip or dismissal, but received none. So, she took a deep breath. “My real name is y/n Lantsov. I’m the third child of King Alexander and Queen Tatiana. I never made my society debut because once it was discovered that I was Grisha, I was taken to the Little Palace. From then on I was raised with the intent of identifying as Grisha, not a Lantsov.
“As a result, my parents basically forgot I existed. My eldest brother barely spoke to me as it was, so I was only truly close with my other brother. I wasn’t allowed to see him. Kirigan wanted there to be little to no reminders of our pasts so that we could separate ourselves from the otkazat’sya.”
She paused and looked outside. Ketterdam was bustling with activity, both legal and illegal, just as it always was. Ketterdam never slept. 
“Early on, Nik and I would sneak out at night to meet. We were children and would rather play than train and learn. Nik loved to play pretend. We had found an old boat and we’d be sailors. I’d use my powers to steer us. He’d call himself Sturmhond with the distinction that he was a privateer, not a pirate.
“But we eventually got caught. I was disciplined by my instructors and put through more rigorous training. More so than some of the others. At first I thought it was because I had snuck out, but time went on and I was still pushed harder. My powers are no where near Zoya’s level. I doubt even an amplifier could get me there. Unfortunately, it took me too long to learn why that was.
“Kirigan wanted me pushed because of my background. He was… almost giddy about the fact that I was a Lantsov. I started noticing his power plays against my family. When he would visit the Grand Palace, I was among his small entourage of Grisha. He would give me special tasks when we visited, as if flaunting the fact that I was under his command instead of my parents.
“One day, while a group of us were traveling, we were attacked by Fjerdans. Drüskelle. They ambushed us, their goal to bring us to the Ice Court for a supposed trial. But we knew better so we fought back.” y/n took a deep breath to calm herself and force back the memories. “When I realized I was the last one standing, I used my powers to knock the remaining Fjerdans unconscious. I couldn’t kill them, despite the fact that they had just killed my friends.
“But as I stood there, I realized that I was alone. For the first time in years, I was by myself. I realized that there was nothing tying me down in that moment, so I fled. I went to the nearest port and stowed away. I ended up here and chose to make a new life for myself. One where no one knew who I was, where I would have more freedom than I could have imagined. Then I met you. And you know the rest.”
Silence fell over the room. y/n didn’t want to admit it but she was nervous how Kaz would react. She could feel him watching her, staring holes into her back.
After a minute, she felt the air shift and heard Kaz push himself off the desk. He slowly walked toward her, cane thumping at his side. She continued to stare outside even as he came to stand next to her.
“So Sturmhond is the prince,” he said.
y/n almost wanted to scoff - of course that was what he chose to say first - but she refrained.
“Yes. Tolya confirmed it for me.”
“And when he came to Ketterdam and inquired about you, it was because he thought you were dead.”
She shrugged.
“I suppose so. I don’t know what got reported to the king or Kirigan after the ambush. At some point, I stopped caring. It wasn’t my problem anymore.” She looked down. “Guess I was kidding myself. It’s hard to bury your past.”
Kaz huffed.
“Not if you bury it somewhere no one will ever look.”
“And I thought no one would look in Ketterdam,” y/n said, finally looking at him. “The Darkling never left Ravka and I had no idea where my brother was. I hadn’t seen him in years. I didn’t even know he had gone to serve in the military until he had been gone for three months.”
Kaz studied her for a long minute. y/n wished (not for the first time and certainly not the last) that she could read him.
“When we retrieve the neshyenyer and go to Ravka to deliver it, what will you do?” he asked. “I have no doubt we’ll run into your brother at some point.”
y/n sighed.
“I don’t know. I suppose I should talk to him at the very least. He deserves that.”
“And after?”
She shrugged.
“I’ll figure it out when I get to it.” She looked him in the eye. She knew that her answer probably left him unsatisfied but it was the best she could offer in the moment. “What about you?”
“Me?”
“Last week you said that my past would tell you whether or not you could trust me. Now you know. What’s your verdict?”
Kaz’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he scanned her over. She refused to look away. Finally, he nodded.
“I trust you,” he said. “You’ve got our backs.” He stepped back, breaking eye contact with her so that he could gather various things off his desk. “Now finish gathering what you need. We leave for Shu Han in an hour.”
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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 2 years ago
Text
The Phoenix and the Crow
part six
pairing: (future) kaz brekker x fem!reader
genre: neutral maybe hinted angst?
el's thoughts: okayyyyyy after a lot of thinking through the plot of the series... i realized i can't actually make it so kaz and y/n are in a relationship by the end of the season.... soooo it's gonna be heavily hinted at through out the rest of the series and once i reach the end of s2 we'll just see where i go from there. anyway, sorry for keeping you waiting for a hot second! enjoy :)
masterlist
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The gunshots didn’t let up as grunts were barely heard from the hall. “It’s over, Brekker!” Pekka shouted over the gunfire. Kaz pulled out two small bombs from his pocket and a lighter. He tried to start the lighter but no flicker of fire came from it. He cursed under his breath before Y/N scoffed, “Oh, hand it over.” She pulled the bombs from his hands, snapped her fingers, and lit the fuses before throwing them over to the other side of the desk. Kaz stared at her as she brought her hands over her ears. His eyes calculating as if trying to solve the puzzle that was her. A flicker of amazement flashed through his eyes but vanished as quickly as it appeared. 
Y/N quickly shoved her thoughts away, “Ears!” She shouted at him and he quickly covered his ears right before the bombs went off.
Y/N sighed out loud as she cleaned up the soiled rags and dumped the blood-infested water down the drain. “It’s a miracle she’s alive.” She said, dragging herself out of her own thoughts of the moment just hours before.
Nina scoffed, “I’m no healer, but she would’ve been fine.” The inferni nodded, “Probably… I just don’t do blood.” The heartrender rolled her eyes, “How you were a lieutenant-general of the second army, I don’t know.” 
“Even I’d like to know how I got the position.” Her eyes glazed over as a memory of the Darkling flittered through her mind, “You know, never mind. I don’t want to know.” The reminder of his dark eyes scanning over her made a chill run down her spine.
Nina watched her with saddened eyes, knowing vaguely about the girl’s past from hushed whispers and rumors that spread like a wildfire through the little palace. It was a known fact that the General had a soft spot for the inferni since the moment he brought her in. Where she came from, no one knew. Everyone knew better than to prie into her business given her relationship with the Darkling. Were they a couple? It was never confirmed, but it was suggested strongly through actions. 
Muffled voices snapped the two out of their separate trains of thought. 
“We should go update them on Inej.” Nina shot her a smile as she walked out of the room. 
Y/N pulled herself out of her chair and followed, down a winding hall to the room where the muffled voices were heard. 
“You don’t take down a lion by cutting off his tail.” Kaz’s grave voice spoke harshly.
“I’m sorry, you’ve been on safari when? We’re putting out lives on the line.” The resentment in Jesper’s tone was as clear as the night sky outside the tomb windows.
“I thought you preferred it that way.”
The two grisha shared a look before making their presence known. Wylan was the first to turn toward them, “Is Inej going to be okay?”
Nina ran her hands over the waist of her dress as she spoke, “Um… I wouldn’t call myself the most proficient Healer, but she’ll not be a permanent resident here.” 
“Not yet anyway.” Jesper threw a glare at Kaz.
“Technically, no one gets buried here anymore. When the firepox plague hit years ago, so many people died that the crematoriums all got backed up, so they had to float all the dead bodies in the harbor.” Wylan said.
As the young chemist spoke Y/N noticed Brekker tense up at the mention of the plague. His shoulders stiffened and his hands clenched, causing the leather around his knuckled to tighten around his fists. 
“That’s enough!” 
The four people behind him froze in mild shock and slight fear. The sound of shuffling papers was heard before he turned around, handing the papers to Jesper. 
The sharpshooter’s eyes glanced down quickly, “Appelbroek?”
“Pekka has a glass factory there, but there are no sandpits in Appelbroek. So cartage fees would kill all of his profits. Find out what he’s really up to.” Kaz turned to Wylan, “If you want to help, instead of spurting useless historical facts, go with Jesper.” 
The pair was quick to leave the room, closing the door behind them.
All who were left were Nina, Y/N, and Kaz. Silence settled for a moment before the Heartrender spoke up. “Not that you asked, but you might want to consider grounding your Wraith for now. I always wanted to be a Healer, but that doesn’t mean that I’m any good.”
Kaz cut her off, “If I need you again, I’ll let you know.”
If glares could kill, he would be six feet under, two times over. Y/N and Nina shared an infuriated look, neither moving to make their leave. 
“All the guards who work the fights at Hellgate are loyal to Pekka and on his payroll. All but one.”
“The fights?” Y/N’s voice surprised her as she gave voice to her thoughts. 
“Hellshow. It’s exactly as you’d imagine. Find a guard names Hiemstra. He has a port-wine stain across his brow. He’ll get a message to your Fjerdan.”
“Can we trust him?” Nina asked. 
“We can trust he doesn’t want Pekka to know what I have on him.”
Nina nodded slightly and moved to the door as Kaz spoke up once again. “What you did tonight made you a Crow.” He turned to Y/N, “You as well. Keep a low profile. You’ll both be in Pekka’s sights now.”
The girls shared an annoyed glance before the brunette made her leave. 
Y/N stood silently by the other door watching Kaz sort through a few more papers as he zoned out on the wall in front of him. “Inej.” He looked up at met y/e/c eyes with a fire behind them. 
“Down the hall.” Y/N nodded to the door behind her and held her breath as he limped past her. 
~
“What’s yours?”
Y/N barely heard Inej’s voice as she walked down the hall quietly. 
“The limp. The cane.” Kaz’s voice sounded strained as if it hurt him physically to speak.
Her stomach turned involuntarily as she watched them from the doorway.  Kaz stared at her as she brought her hands over her ears. His eyes calculating as if trying to solve the puzzle that was her. A flicker of amazement flashed through his eyes but vanished as quickly as it appeared. She felt her heart clench at the memory, her mind still trying to find the reasoning behind it. 
It was simply amazement. Kaz had never worked closely with a grisha, let alone the most powerful grisha in their class. She’d learned at an early age that some people get amazed at the slightest sign of power. And she picked up quickly that Kaz Brekker was one of those people. Even if he held his composition together.
If the look on his face was simply amazement, why did she replay that moment in her mind more than she’d like to admit?
Dragging herself out of her spiraling thoughts, she cleared her throat. Dirtyhands and the Wraith moved apart and turned to her. Kaz stared at her for a moment, the familiar flash of amazement flew through his coffee-brown eyes before they turned to stone once again.
“What’s the safest way from here back to the Slat?” Kaz asked. The grip on his cane was tight, making the leather gloves flex with his hand.
“Rozenstraat onto Buysberg. Why?” Inej answered, her voice tense.
“We need some new blood.” Kaz limped heavily towards the door and glanced one last time at Y/N before disappearing down the hallway. 
Y/n turned to Inej with a small teasing smile causing the suli girl to look down and hold her bleeding arm. “It’s not what you think.”
Y/N calmed her beating heart and internally sighed, “Believe me.” She huffed as she walked into the room to get a better look at her wounded arm. “‘Cause I was just thinking that he’s shit at first aid.” She picked up a clean rag and poured the disinfecting alcohol onto the fabric. “You might need a hand with this before I accompany Nina to the Hellshow.” She winked at the Wraith and they both chuckled. She started cleaning the cut along her forearm making Inej gasp at the stinging. 
Y/N bit back her smile in sympathy and shook her head slightly, “I’m sorry.”
~
“Well, isn’t this fun?” Y/N wrinkled her nose in utter disgust as they walked through the stands of the area inside Hellgate. Nina shot her a sharp glare causing the inferni to raise her hands slightly above her waist in surrender, “Right, sorry.”
The slow cranking of metal against metal echoed in the arena over all the shouts and loud conversations from the crowds. The two grisha women walked closer to the metal cage, Nina grasped the thick bars between her hands tightly, as if willing the metal to bend at her will. They both watched as a tall man walked out from under the gate. 
“Matthias.” Nina’s voice was barely heard over the cheering around them. 
The two men in the ring stood there for a moment before the one with ‘cannibal’ written on his back lunge first. A strong punch to the Fjerdan’s jaw caused his head to snap to the side, and with no time to recover another blow was aimed at his stomach. 
After taking a few more hits, resulting in the Heartrender flinching at every grunt, the Fjerdan finally snapped. He threw a jaw-snapping punch at the smaller man, spun around, and threw his elbow back landing on the man’s collarbone. The latter fell to the floor giving Matthias an opening to continue his attack. He picked up a leg and dragged the man on his back before crushing his leg in his grasp. 
The roar of the crowd grew loud enough to leave the inferni’s ears ringing. Nina called out to Matthias as she moved along the ring’s metal cage. Y/N followed her keeping a cautious eye on their surroundings, not placing a single valchka coin’s worth of trust in the people around them. Her cautions played out to be right when arms circled around her holding her arms apart. Nina struggled against the tight grips, shouting at the guards to let them go. 
“Rare thing, Heartrender, to know a new fighter by name.” The heavy accent from the Wanderling Isle made Y/N turn around in shock. Pekka Rollins stood before both women, still struggling in the grips of their captors. “Hellgate’s a rough spot for a Fjerdan to make friends. A good woman would do all that she could to see her man free.”
The two grisha shared a look before Nina turned back to Pekka and asked with a strained voice, “What’s your price?” 
He leaned closer to the Heartrender, “Bring me Kaz Brekker or I’ll see to it that your Fjerdan’s next fight is to the death.” 
~*~
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usmsgutterson · 2 years ago
Text
 DREAMS-k.b x gn! reader
Okay! Last day of this event and final fic that’s coming out before I run back into my little writer cave and start figuring out a balance between novel writing, requests, and managing to keep myself together when the chaos starts picking up in these next few months. Requests will likely start coming out in the upcoming week, though if not then, it’ll be around the middle of the week after. Thats a pretty rough estimate because I have no actual idea how busy my life is gonna get by the time that April hits, but we’ll see. 
I meant to post this yesterday but by the time I’d remembered, it was four in the morning and I was tired as hell because my brain cannot handle staying up any later than three thirty unless I’ve gotten a nap or two in beforehand lol. 
Fic type- I’d,, I’d classify this as fluff with angsty undertones? Maybe slight hurt/comfort, I honestly can’t really say
Warnings- mentions of drowning, mentions of death, mentions of heights (reader has a fear of them because I projected a teeny tiny bit lol) and mentions of falling
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Over the two weeks leading up to the final ten days of winter, Kaz Brekker had been experiencing dreams. 
They weren’t his normal dreams of darkness, dreams that had him convinced he’d spent his sleeping hours in the depths of the Fold, nor were they the nightmares that occasionally waltzed back through his subconscious to remind him of all that he’d lost, all of the things he had to lose. 
They were weird dreams, to say the least of it. He would find himself talking to someone whom he’d never met in some of them. He knew more about a person who did not exist than he knew of some of the newer recruits into the Dregs. He knew more about a person who did not exist than he knew of even those who’d been in the Dregs for more than two months, even those who’d been there longer than five or six. 
Others were a lot like his occasional nightmares. He would find himself talking to the person he’d never met one moment, find himself drowning in the next. He would find the person his subconscious had made up for him to his right, drowning but looking more at peace with it than he had. 
“How long have they been a thing?” Jesper asked shortly after Kaz had accidentally alluded to the dreams whilst talking to him and Inej. They were heading to Fifth Harbor, where they would meet in a cafe, negotiate the terms of ownership for a building that had once been Dime Lions owned but was to be owned by the Dregs since Pekka had left. 
“Nearly two weeks,” Kaz said. “Why?”
“Ravkan legend,” Inej said. “Suli legends have come from it, so I know what Jes is referencing.”
“It’s not a legend,” Jesper said. “It’s a phenomenon. The fact that it’s gift from the Ravkan saints, the idea that it was given to the Suli by their ancestors, is where the myth and legend aspects come in. Nina talked about it after the Ice Court, I think. Mentioned that she’d been having dreams about Matthias and then it felt like they were soulmates? There is literal scientific evidence behind it. The dreams are supposed to be a kind of prologue.”
“Prologue to what?” 
“A life with someone whom the universe deems your other half,” Inej said. “Your confidante, your strength when you are weak. It’s said to be a gift from the saints, one only given to those who are deemed worthy.” 
Kaz scoffed. The idea seemed ludicrous to him. Why would he, someone who’d spent the broader half of his life committing more crimes than he could ever be redeemed for, end up with a soulmate? Why would the saints think to give him one, if not an attempt to change his character? 
“I am not worthy of saintly gifts,” Kaz said. 
Jesper shrugged. “We know that. The saints probably know as much, too, but you were chosen at random.”
“Not everyone in a relationship knows that the person they’re with is their soulmate,” Inej added. “The prologue, Jesper called it, is a two week grace period before you meet them. You skip the get-to-me questions in your waking hours by having to deal with them in your sleeping ones. Your subconscious sets the scene, and you just have to deal with it. Be grateful, Kaz. You might not think yourself deserving, but the saints, for some reason, do.” 
“And what if you’re wrong?” Kaz asked.
Jesper shrugged, and Inej followed with the same.
“Then the saints have chosen someone different, and you may be right about the fact that you do not deserve their gifts at all,” Inej said. The trio walked into the cafe where the negotiations were to occur, and Kaz let the matter rest. 
-
A week later, the dreams continued, and Kaz continued to wonder what their root was, tried to pinpoint some reason that they kept on. Some part of him had begun believing Inej and Jespers words about the phenomenon, and after a bit of reading, Kaz may have found himself a religious man after all, though he did keep to pessimistic habits rather than give in to the slightest hint of optimism. 
Then, on the day of the seventeenth of March, Kaz found himself yearning to go to the bookstore that’d opened up near the East Stave. He’d read all of the books that lined the shelves he kept in his office, and he needed something new. He’d never been much of a reader as things were, so it really shouldn’t’ve concerned him that he’d read all of the books he’d owned, but on that particular day, it did. 
He worried for the off chance that he would find himself with off time and choose to spend that time reading a book, only to find that each book on his shelves had been read two or three times already, so he gave in. He walked through the East Stave until he was finally in the bookstore and could breathe again. 
“You don’t seem like the reader type,” came the voice of someone Kaz knew had to be the owner. “I mean that respectfully, of course. Businessmen and criminals who dress like them are normally the ones doing the writing.” 
Kaz blinked a bit startled as he realized that the voice sounded familiar. It sounded like the voice of the person he’d been hearing in his dreams. 
The person who’s favorite book was by an author who’d been dead for centuries, though the book had never quite become a classic like plenty of the others. The person who yearned for a life in the countryside, the person who loved the rain and, despite their yearning for a quiet life of many beautiful sunsets in a place unaffected by light pollution, loved the city. 
“I’m not,” Kaz said. “Not normally. I’ve read all of the books on my shelves. Thought I’d come round, pick up something for the next time I have time to spend reading a book.” 
Kaz turned to look at you, and the realization came twice. 
Oh. It was you, after all. The person with whom he’d spent more than fifty of his dreaming hours. The person with whom he’d conversed, the person whom he occasionally dreamt about losing.
Oh. It was you, after all. The person who knew how Kaz took his coffee, the person who helped him figure out plans for heists when he was stuck and could not stop thinking about it even in dreams, the person whos laugh Kaz would’ve died to listen to even once in person. 
“I’ve read the Ravkan tales of phenomena,” you said. “I’ve listened to Suli people talk about it and how they consider it a gift, not from their saints, but from the people who came before them. I’ve listened to the Zemeni talk about it like it is the most sacred thing known to humanity. I’ve seen the Kaelish people discuss the dreams like they are fictious. I’ve read read equations written out in some attempt to understand it by a couple of Shu Hans old kings and queens, and I’ve seen the Kerch people try to monetize it relentlessly since I came last week. All of them describe a feeling.” 
Kaz nodded. He’d read up on it, too. “The feeling when two souls meet after so long spent talking in dreams. It feels like--”
“Like you already know your soulmate. The dreams are what that’s for,” you said. “You learn about them what it is that you need to know, what the universe wants you to know, and then you meet them and you learn the rest of it.”
“The purpose of the dreams is to get the ‘get-to-know-me’ Q&A out of the way, and that’s done well enough,” Kaz said. “The meeting is the part where you realize that the saints, the universe, whoever it was that decided to pair soulmates together, were right. You look at them and you just know, beyond any rationale. You look at them, and you think--”
“The universe did not get this wrong,” you said. 
Kaz nodded. “Yeah. You and your fear of heights recognize that well enough.” 
You shot him a very pointed look. “This from the man who has had me drowning several nights in a row the past week.” 
The dreams wherein Kaz was drowning and panicked, but you were relaxed, like you knew your time had come and you were accepting the death that awaited. Kaz had felt much the same in the dreams wherein both of you fell, calm and collected even though all that he could feel around him was air as he rapidly moved toward the ground. 
He met your gaze, letting a smirk grace the right side of his lips. 
“Well then, it’s lovely to meet you. My name is Kaz Brekker. I don’t recall ever having introduced myself in our sleeping hours.” 
“Y/N,” you introduced. “It’s your lucky day, Mr. Brekker. Soulmates get a half-off discount. Store wide.” 
Kaz scoffed. “Lucky me,” he said. “Looks like I’ll be coming round often, then.”
You laughed, and Kaz felt his heart give a flutter. “Can’t wait.”
Kaz hummed. “Nor can I, so it seems.” 
It was the start of the best thing that Kaz Brekker would ever have, the start of something incredible. 
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