#Like guys thinking about yourself and having a philosophical mind is so important

[shibaincubus]

The easiest way to change your past and improve yourself is not mentioning your past to new people.

If your talking about factors of your past that you want to change to someone new you are bringing the past that you want to change into the present reality and you're still metaphorically tied to it.

Like you want to improve yourself. Why are you bringing bad "Habits" into the future

[jina1028]

Perfect

Jiung x fem!reader

Categories: chubby reader, smut, kissing, making out, oral (fem rec), fingering, hair pulling, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don't do it irl), creampie, cuddling, tell me if I missed anything

~♡~

Today your self esteem was the lowest it had been in months. The guy you met from an app ghosted you after the first date and posted a few new pics on his instagram with another girl just a week later.

It's not like you really hated your looks, most of the time you thought you looked pretty... But then a random, rude comment on the socials under some girl's pic or, like in this case, the boy you liked started dating a pretty, skinny girl after ignoring you for a whole week, things like these made you think that maybe girls like you weren't what men usually wanted.

You had been sulking the whole evening and finally Jiung paused the series you were watching on netflix (the main character a beautiful, skinny girl, how strange).

"Okay, this is the third time you ignore my comments on the show, I can tell something's on your mind and you're not paying attention at all. What is it, Y/N?"

You looked in his direction, taken aback by the sudden interruption of your train of thoughts, and felt like a scolded child under an angry parent's gaze. But Jiung's gaze was somehow softer, like he was genuinely concerned.

You sighed, shifting beside your best friend on the couch "Nothing, I guess I'm just bitter about that dude who ghosted me. He has another girl now. She's pretty. And skinny."

Jiung looked at you like he was pained, his eyebrows knitted and a pout on his lips. He looked like he was about to say something but you cut him off before he could even speak "Yeah, I know what you wanna say, you already told me... I don't think I'm ugly, really, but seems like everyone else does think that. Just because I'm chubby."

Jiung listened to your small rant in silence, and looked at you like he was struggling to find the words to say. It was so unusual for him to not scold you and start a sermon about self love or finding happiness within yourself and such philosophical things (which you loved him for to be honest) that you started to worry if he was just tired of your complaining.

"He's an idiot" he finally said "and by the way it's important that you don't actually think you're ugly, because you're not. You're beautiful."

You didn't know why but that last comment made you feel warm, maybe you were even blushing?

"A lot of men, if that's even important to you, like chubby girls" he continued, filling in your silence "I know I do."

You looked at him, not knowing what to say. The atmosphere was different than usual, like something switched.

Jiung was looking back at you with unusually dark eyes, shifting closer to you, a hand coming up to place a strand of hair behind your ear.

You felt like he was pulling to him like a magnet, his hand now resting and stroking lovingly on your cheek, inching closer to your lips the more you leaned in his touch.

His thumb grazed your bottom lip, pulling it slightly. A slight blush graced his cheeks when he found himself staring and struggling to hold back, all this time having this huge crush on you but being too scared to act on it. But now he was tired to hide it, when he loved you more than a simple friend, when you looked perfect in his eyes.

"Can I?" you barely caught it, Jiung asking for permission in a whisper.

"Yes" your own voice barely audible, and that's all Jiung needed.

He pressed your lips together, moving them slowly, like all the time in the world was yours, caressing your lips with his tongue and sliding it in to play with yours, occasionally pulling back to slightly suck at your lips and attack you again with his tongue. His kiss felt passionate and dominant, his hand caressing your nape, adding to the hot feeling that was building up inside of you.

You couldn't help but moan into the kiss, Jiung feeling proud of the sound he gained from you just by kissing. He moved his other hand down your back, resting it right above your butt and squeezed, wanting to feel your plush skin between his fingers and hear more of your pretty sounds.

When he heard you release another little moan he reluctantly broke the kiss and gently pushed you on your back, straddling one of your legs and slotting his right knee between your soft thighs, sultry eyes and a smile adorning his pretty face.

Jiung resumed your passionate kiss, using his left arm as support and letting his other hand wander on your body, caressing your neck and moving lower to your breast, groping and slightly squeezing, then lower to your hips and left thigh, roughly grabbing the soft flesh through your sweats and kneading with his greedy hand. His knee occasionally pressed up against you core, causing the nice friction to make you hiss and mewl.

"You don't know how much I've wanted this, how long..." his deep voice laced with arousal directly in your ear, his lips now grazing your ear, down your jaw and neck, kissing, sucking and softly biting, bringing shivers and goosebumps to your skin, a whimper leaving your lips when his own found and sucked a sensitive spot on your neck. He kept abusing that spot, earning moan after moan, until he was satisfied with his art, all the while his hand moved to the inside of your left thigh, reaching your core and massaging your clothed lips and clit. He could tell how wet you were by the smooth friction the slick in your panties created and couldn't help but groan, impatient to see and feel your warmth and wetness directly on his skin, his fingers, his mouth, his cock.

Jiung kneeled back up above you to remove his shirt. You admired his face, torso and tattoos, your gaze finally laying on the obvious tent in his pants.

He followed your eyes and smirked "Like what you see?", pointing out his words with a gentle squeeze on his shaft through his pants. You nodded, humming approvingly, leaning back up on your elbows and reaching out your hands, resting them on the waistband.

You looked up at Jiung, a smile on his face encouraging you as you pulled his pants and boxers down enough to free his member. You felt your face heat up at the sight, it was gorgeous, big and veiny, a pearl of precum shining on the pink tip.

"Now don't make me feel shy and strip down" Jiung pouted, making you chuckle a little.

Soon enough he was pulling you up and helping you remove your shirt and sweats, admiring your curves while you stood in front of him, eyes sparkling "You're beautiful..."

Jiung sat back down on the couch and brought his hands on your hips, slowly pulling on your panties, looking up at you with expectant eyes "Is this ok?"

"Yeah, I want it as much as you do, Jiung."

He smiled and shook his head "You really have no idea the effect you have on me... Every time you hug me, every time you bend over to do something, every time you dress up in revealing clothes..." he kept talking while slowly pulling down your panties "Call me a pervert, I don't care, but every fucking time I popped a boner to the most random things and had to hide it or go and take care of it... That's what you do to me."

You stepped out of your panties "Maybe you're really a pervert... But I love this new side of you, show me more."

And so he took the challenge, grabbing your left leg and lifting it to rest your foot on the couch. He placed wet kisses from the inner side of your knee up your thigh and to your core, finding your clit and swirling his tongue on it making you moan and grab his soft hair. He tilted his face enough to make eye contact with you while his right hand slid between your wet folds to tease your entrance.

You bit your lips as he finally slipped a finger inside, the extra stimulation heightening your pleasure.

Jiung alternated harsh sucks and soft licks, adding a second finger to curl and thrust, hitting the right spot over and over, reducing you to a whining mess "I'm gonna-" you moaned as your orgasm washed over you, pulling at his hair while rocking your hips against his face to ride it out. A moan reverberated on your clit as he kept gently sucking on it until you forced him away when it became overwhelming.

You admired his state, nose, lips and chin glistening in a mix of his saliva and your arousal, harsh pants leaving his lips. He took his fingers from your pussy to bring them to his mouth and lick them clean, the sight so erotic you could come again right away.

You pushed him against the back of the couch and straddled him, taking his neglected cock in your hand and pumping it a few times, spreading his precum on the length before aligning it with your entrance, sinking down on it easily from how wet you were.

Jiung threw his head back with a groan, eyes closed, as you started gyrating your hips on his, his hands flying to your butt, squeezing and helping you move faster.

He felt like he was living a dream, and if it was he didn't wanna wake up.

"So wet, feels so good... Keep going like that..." Jiung moaned, overwhelmed by the intense pleasure, his eyes getting glossy and drool starting to pool at the corner of his lips, pulling up his head from the cushions to focus his gaze on the way your hips rolled on him, trying to see the way your pussy engulfed him when you started bouncing, his hands aiding you in your task, helping you lift up and letting you fall back down.

Your moans and grunts filled the room together with obscenely wet sounds and skin slapping on skin until Jiung, in a flicker of lucidity, warned you he was gonna cum.

"Cum inside, fill me up" you moaned, surprising Jiung, a smile tugging at his lips before he fucked you from below pressing his feet to the floor. The unexpected force and new angle pushed you over the edge again and your walls spasmed hard around Jiung's cock, making him moan and cum inside of you, painting your walls white, both your hips stuttering at the intense pleasure.

You kept going until you milked him dry and he grabbed your hips to still you on top of him, cock too sensitive from the orgasm, wrapping his arms around you to push you against his chest and resting a few moments like that, breaths and hearts gradually slowing down, your hands resting on his shoulders while he softly traced his fingers on your back for what felt like hours and it still wouldn't be enough.

Eventually, Jiung took your face in his hands and kissed you tenderly.

"You're perfect" he whispered, a content smile on both your faces.

"No one is perfect" you replied just to tease him.

"True" he countered, kissing your nose, "but you're quite close."

[comicaurora]

I watched Castlevania: Nocturne the otger day and liked it a lot less than you seemed to, so I want to hear a more detailed opinion if you have one. Am I in the wrong to think it was more shounen and less "deep" in some way?

I'd say it's definitely more shounen. Introducing the "Richter can't do magic because unresolved trauma" thing right from the jump meant a Believing In Yourself powerup was pretty much inevitable, but I liked the execution of that scene enough that I didn't mind much.

It doesn't quite have the backbone of the original Castlevania, which was grounded so strongly in Dracula's apocalyptic grief - a motivation the audience is directed to find deeply understandable from minute one - that it gave the characters a solid thematic core to play off of. This let the writing stay pretty tight by letting Trevor serve as a foiling mirror for Dracula in their mutual disgust with the failures of human kindness, Sypha for Lisa in their altruistic use of their knowledge and their vilification for "witchcraft", and Alucard in the middle torn between worlds.

Nocturne is more loose and character-driven, but it still has a core theme - the argument over "the natural order" and how that plays into a fear of change from those currently on top. However, Richter doesn't really have a horse in that race, since his motivation starts and ends at Kill Vampires while everyone around him is more complex, trying to overthrow the aristocracy and free the enslaved and such. I think this makes Richter feel a little less important than Trevor was, narratively, because he sort of stands apart from the core philosophical debate at play. It took me a few episodes to get what his deal was and start caring about his self-actualization, and I think he's definitely got further to go. Possibly Alucard's presence in season 2 will give him more to play off of.

I think Nocturne has several independently interesting villains instead of one really good villain, which is a complaint I also saw about Castlevania season 4 - I liked Death just fine, but he really didn't work for everyone, and the secondary villains like Saint Germaine were much more interesting and complex. Nocturne does, however, pull off something Castlevania didn't as much, which is most of the characters acting on their own internal consistent motivation without cleanly falling into the "good guy" or "bad guy" box, causing them to slide into and out of conflicts and alliances depending on the circumstances.

I feel like Bathory is kind of a weak core villain with almost no human-level motivations or ideas beyond General Villainy, and the extent of her development being a darkest hour shonen villain powerup/frieza transformation doesn't help much, which is why I'm kind of holding out hope that they just bite the bullet and bring back Dracula. He's the nemesis from the Castlevania games, and while they gave him and Lisa a happy ending in Castlevania season 4, I don't think they need to keep him on the bench forever. It's been 300 years, Lisa is almost certainly long dead again and Dracula doesn't need to be full Mad With Vengeance Burn Down The World to still be a credible problem in need of a little Belmonting.

I had fun with season 1 of Nocturne with the understanding that the first four-episode "season" of Castlevania wasn't representative of the final shape of the story either. Sypha's character, for instance, was very flat before she and the gang went on their season 2 bonding adventure, not much more than some banter and infodumps. I think Nocturne did solid setup of the cast and the theme they'll be unpacking, and it has lots of room to explore these characters in interesting ways once they energy-ball-tennis Bathory out of the way first.

[pixxiesticksys]

I think a big problem with a lot of the people complaining about Desirdae is that they're just like. Expecting from us.

Like. As someone who experiences atypical dysphoria, I should be allowed to say "I want a word that describes my experience." Just because you don't want that doesn't mean that your want us finite. Quite frankly, I don't fucking care want you want. I want a word that describes MY experience

(bolded words I and My)

And some of you guys are being way too holierthanthou about this. This whole thing has existed for what. A fucking month? If that? Of course people who want to have one are going to hop onto make or find a word that fits their experience. I made words that fit my experience.

The transid community has existed and evolved for fucking years and you guys are comparing it to a newborn subject trying to find it's place in the world. Nearly everything the community is at this point is words to describe things and pretty pictures and people are getting pissy because we aren't fucking philosophers. I'm so so sorry that my coining post for a fucking word did not have in depth every little detail of what is and isn't okay in my holy opinion as the only person who is ever right.

So WHAT if a fucking coining post doesn't have every single way to transition ever or in depth explanation of what transitions are harmful or a 15 page pamphlet on ethics and morality and how nuanced that shit is. It's a fucking coining post. It's a flag and a word to describe an experience felt by an individual it isn't the fucking holy word of your specific God.

I am sure that desirdae help blogs will pop up. I will gladly make a desirdae help blog of my own, if anyone wants that just let me know! I'm literally in the process of creating the desirdae discord server and one of the biggest reasons I wanted to create this was so that we could communicate. So that we could talk about tips for transition and discuss ethics and nuances. Try to help label what is and isn't okay and what is more in depth than that. Try to find workarounds for transition that is harmful. I'm (NOT??) sorry that this community didn't spawn in with every single little thing done in the way YOU want it done. Maybe instead of getting on your little blog and complaining, YOU make the posts discussing the ethics of transitioning for certain terms.

Whining and calling us self hating radqueers literally just shows how little of a say you should have in this in the first place ! You canNOT be a radqueer without identifying yourself as a radqueer

And since we're already here, why don't we just take a poll

We ALL are JUST fucking beings on TUMBLR of all places. And we're all just beings with REAL lives OFF of Tumblr too! This discord server would be going by so much faster if I wasn't sick out of my mind, but that's not where I am in life. Some of us have jobs, school, Important events, disability, disorders, inspections or tests or whatever the hell else. Not everyone alive has the time to make this community fucking pitch perfect in a month! We're doing what we can day by day. No perfection comes in a day. Or a month. Perfect is not fucking possible, it's not real

The newborn community needs time to move past the coin flags and be represented stage. But If you wanted to see something else from it, all you had to do was ask.

@desirdae-archive can we get a boost for that poll there?

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: ROUND 5, ALL GROUPS

Group C Finals!

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Anzu Mazaki

the original It Girl, very underrated anzu masaki is stubborn. she’s all about friendship and she believes in you soooo much. she’s the type to give you a lecture while picking you up because she’ll never leave you stranded but you should take better care of yourself. she has dreams of being a dancer and takes that risk in moving to whole different COUNTRY to follow her dreams. vote for anzu!!! This is ANZU. Yugioh's most dedicated friendship philosopher!!! The one who knew the power of friendship before anyone else did!! Always backing up her guy friends even when (especially when) they're up their own asses about card games!! Not the mom friend bc she's reckless and nuts in her own special way!! The girl Yami confided in when he couldn't even confide in Yuugi... who sees through everyone's bullshit into their true feelings.... who said "learning how to love yourself is a game we play our whole lives"..... She is THEE GIRL. Literally iconic. Foundational to the whole damn text!! She didn't haul ass after a bunch of goofy card game geeks supporting them through 343 chapters and suffer through endless early 2000s Anzu-bashing fic to NOT win this tournament!!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

[divorcingjimmatthews]

s2e7 belly of the beast spoilers! rambly rambly thoughts. loved this episode, love this show. sorry, it's very long.

jim, jade and tabitha

CONGRATULATIONS JADE for officially not losing your mind and coming on top of the whole thing. CONDOLENCES to JIM for catching the crazy ball and going full conspiracy theorist now it's him that i'm most worried for. basically what tabitha said. they don't know but they gotta cope with not knowing. i'm glad to see jade and tabitha on the same wavelength about that because from my personal experience i think it's the healthiest mindset you can have in a situation like that. jumping to conclusions like i was saying in my other post is extremely dangerous.

also glad to see jade's first actual contribution to everyday life in the town. hilarious that's gonna be "better alcohol" but awesome that he found something to work on to keep him sane. "i needed a project that wasn't fucking terrifying" i love you jade. your soul is beautiful. also i don't care if i'm grasping at straws but i think victor interrupting him when he was in the middle of his crazy guy skit really helped him stay grounded so he kind of wanted to help tabitha too and that's why he roped her along on his project. like "okay, i'll give you the crazy town lore BUT you gotta do a normal person thing too to balance it out and not lose yourself in this". or maybe he was just lonely and wanted someone to work with him on his project. i've been lowkey shipping them since before they even interacted so i guess this episode was like my personal christmas.

ship or no ship i think it's really important for tabitha to open up with someone outside of her family. it's probably gonna make her family life better to have, you know, friends. jade has a talent for knowing what to say around really heavy topics. telling her "fuck, that sucks, i don't think you're being punished though, i think maybe bad things are just happening and that's it" was really what she needed to hear. in the early episodes tabitha complains to jim that him acting like he knows everything and saying it's all going to be fine like it's obvious makes her feel like she's "doing something wrong". jim's kind of doubling down on acting like he's got it all figured out so i'm glad tabby has a friend that's more on her wavelength now.

i'm fully biased because of my own personal experiences i'll admit it, but i don't think trying to fix a relationship that went south a long time ago is always the best course of action. parting ways doesn't have to be a tragedy, sometimes it's a really good thing. in s1 it looked like they were kinda fixing it but now it feels like they're further apart than at the beginning of the show. i feel really bad for jim but he's gotta pull himself out of that hole he's digging for himself. he's not just jumping to conclusions about things he can't know, he's rejecting reality ("that's what they want you to think!!!" about tabitha defending victor because he's proved time and time again that he's a good man) and leaning on someone that's encouraging him to keep thinking that way and who he barely knows. i'm thinking what other character could help him but i'm kind of drawing a blank. maybe also jade. just pushing my ot3 agenda sorry guys.

donna and fatima, victor and ethan

even though pregnancy in fiction is kind of an ick of mine (SPECIALLY when something goes supernaturally wrong with the pregnancy like, the lord is testing me i guess...?) so i can't really get on board the excitement some of the characters show, i'm really enjoying the "can any of the supernatural wild stuff happening here actually be GOOD" theme with the pregnancy and the changing of the leaves. fatima gave me some strong john locke (the bald guy, not the philosopher) vibes with the pregnancy when she's not supposed to be able to have kids. but i'm not gonna be able to breathe well again until they confirm that's not gonna be some night creature baby thing. if i could i'd honestly abort in that situation like absolutely not risking that possibility like can you imagine? can you freaking imagine. nononono. not taking that chance. nopp.

ANYWAY victor and ethan were so sweet and sad and i'm sobbing. victor saying he wants to protect ethan because bad things always happen to his friends here :')))) give me 10 thousand tissues please. but he let him help in the end and ethan was so happy. i'm actually sobbing. i love them i love them i love them. their friendship has my whole heart. also, love victor's vest.

jim and randall

love himmmmmmmmmmmm love him love him he was just flying his drone, he was going to his nephew's bday and that was such a badass present to give. love this guy what can i say. he has such a cute smile too. he's just got there and he knows nothing and i'm scared for him. the bit he added to jim's theory is SO dangerous though like starting to distrust each other is the last thing they should be doing. hell randall himself could be the person that's "in on it" for all we know, that's one hell of a question to raise if you want to cause disruption on purpose. i don't think he is though but like jim should consider it before he goes around distrusting people that have proven to be kind hearted like victor.

kenny's warning to jade in s1 ("the people who can't adapt here, when they can't bend, they break") rings specially true for jim rn. he's genuinely not past his first impression of victor, who he mistook for a child molester when they first arrived (rightfully let's be honest, he was being creepy to an outside observer and he did point his gun at him). unlike jade who's changed his approach (from "i don't do impossible" to "maybe crazy awful shit happens here and that's it"), jim's been completely unable to get past his first impressions of everything and is cracking under the pressure, and pulling apart from his loved ones bc of it... really worrying.

OK THIS IS LONG ENOUGH ILL SAVE THE KENNY THOUGHTS FOR A DIFFERENT POST

[tc-frog]

april TC challenge days 1-10 by @morethanwords0475 <3

this challenge seems like fun so i thought i'd participate yay :) catching up and hopefully doing it daily afterwards ^^

Day 1: Happy April Fool’s! Have you ever pranked your TC; if so, how did they react? nope and i don't think i ever would. i just don't have the guts to prank teachers (or even friends) haha

Day 2: What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC? oh god i love this memory pahahaha i was new in class (i changed schools two weeks after the year started) and the very first lesson was J's religion lesson. i remember him talking about Jesus smoking weed and being high or something and at first I thought “where the hell did i land here” lmao😭 so my first impression of him was like "who tf is this guy and what did he smoke"

Day 3: Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it? hmm with him as a teacher i do like it because, as i mentioned before, he teaches religion, but it feels more like philosophy. and i definitely prefer the latter haha seeing as philosophy (and religion) are very subjective topics, i can't be objectively good at it. when comparing myself to my classmates i would say i'm more interested in philosophy, books by philosophers and all the ideas than them. that doesn't make me good at it tho, so unfortunately there's no answer for that sdlkghsldkg

Day 4: How do you feel about your age gap? it's a pretty normal age gap for a student and a teacher to have i guess slkdghsldkgh (our age gap is approximately around 35 years)

Day 5: Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you? in our conversation on teams, i mentioned that i really liked his lessons and his way of teaching. in his reply, he thanked me for it and said that's most important to him. :) i don't know the exact wording, but i can dig up the message and post it if anyone's interested

Day 6: Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first? J is ALWAYS so confused and really aloof. like, that man can't hold a thought for a second. if you ask him a question, be prepared for a ramble that goes on for half an hour without ever mentioning the topic of your question again. it's so funny honestly😭

Day 7: What gift would you really like to be able to give them, regardless of if it’s realistic or not? okay. man. this is really fucking weird. please don't think i'm weird😭 also not exactly a gift, i'd want it back haha buuut i've always thought how i so desperately want to give him my little notebooks i carry everywhere which are diaries, poetry collections, just my thoughts scrabbled out on paper. i want him to understand me and by reading these notebooks, he would. as a real gift, i think a book annotated by me would be nice, i just want him to see my thoughts about books he's read too

Day 8: Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? he did, once. he told us how he had no idea what he wanted to do after school and how he was actually a really bad student. i really felt him in that moment slkghsghslk

Day 9: Does your TC have a significant other? If so, what do you know about them and how do you feel about them? yesss he has a wife and they've been married for a reaaaally long time i think. i saw her once with him at our school prom, they were sitting on the table next to us, and both of us were eating. at the time, i avoided him and tried to act like i didn't see him in hopes of him not noticing me lol. about his wife - if he talks about her, it's only ever positive so i can imagine she's really nice. :)

Day 10: What is the longest time you have gone without seeing them? of course the usual summer break, but actually right now! he had a pretty bad skiing accident around the start of february, so i haven't seen him since then. if everything's good, i'll hopefully see him again on friday! but it actually made me really sad that i didn't see J for so long because i promised myself i would try to talk to him before i never saw him again. i know he sometimes talks to students who stay behind after his lessons, sometimes for a really long time, and especially after the awkward end of our conversation on teams i really really want to have a long and thorough conversation with him just once. i don't really have a lot of possibilities anymore, time is running out, so i'll have to be brave and find an opportunity and then actually talk to him haha. wish me luck, i'll surely make more posts about this lol

[kanonkitastuff]

All this and I would invite everyone to consider the ways in which our ideas of how a "good" story must be paced and concluded, etc and the fact that any piece of art that gets known well enough for many people to experience it in this day and age does so because it can be marketed within capitalism plays directly into this trend.

Earlier this year, I read a book called Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North. It was fantastic. Imagine an antifascist solarpunk spy thriller with the spiritual/philosophical underpinnings of a Miyazaki work like Princess Mononoke and Nausicaa.

But the thing is, a HUGE central theme is the importance of placing the narrative of the collective over hero narratives and great man theories of history. There's also a lot about how some knowledge (like technology to kill massive amounts of people at once) is not good and should be carefully safeguarded, and yes there are questions about who you let so the safeguarding but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. And how does the novel resolve its primary conflict? (Spoilers)

The main character hatches a heroic plan all on his own to use forbidden dangerous knowledge to blow up an army, including the mastermind behind the spread of fascism, and thus ends the war.

There's also something very much to be said about the way that the novel builds up the dynamic between the main character and the main antagonist such that the BEST POSSIBLE NARRATIVE EXPLANATION for the main antagonist's behavior at times is, "Well he's obviously in love with the MC." And I promise that I am not just reading that into the situation. Go read it and you'll see. It's a phenomenal book, in spite of the points I'm making about it here, and that's kind of the point.

Claire North wrote a book about the dangers of having soll heroes in which the main character saves the day by being a solo hero. She also wrote a book where the main antagonist is definitely in love with the main character, and there was room to say some VERY poignant things about masculinity and sexuality and fascism there, but instead she shoved a female character in the middle in a way that really feels like she just hadn't considered that A.) her antagonist could be evil and horrifying and also so deeply in love with her main character that he might even be willing to sacrifice goals and ambitions for this guy, or simply B) either one of these characters could be gay or bisexual.

It's difficult to say, but either way it seems related to a lack of ability to think outside of conventional narrative structures. In the same way, conventional storytelling wisdom says that a thriller like this needs a big climax, and in general that the main character must be a hero. So, the story ends in a big explosion with the main character becoming the exact kind of solo hero he was so opposed to the idea of throughout the entire book. The narrative contradicts the themes.

That doesn't mean that it wasn't an amazing book that invites readers to consider a very different perspective on the world. It just means that you need to bring your critical thinking cap when you read it. Which you should always be doing to some extent anyway.

The cultural ideas of what a story is supposed to look like can heavily impact what a story manages to say, either because the author doesn't consider alternatives or because editors and other gatekeepers to publishing that story say it won't sell if it isn't shaped a certain way. So keep that in mind while consuming works of art, and ask yourself, "What might this have looked like if the author had realized that other shapes were possible?*

i wish people could understand that it's fine to love a story for its insane or fun character/relationship dynamics and tight plot and themes that resonate with you (or gameplay/visuals/prose/whatever specificity its medium has) without trying to pass it off as anti imperialist or anti capitalist when its politics are vapid at best or use radical language as cover for its very liberal view of the world. and no im not simply talking about brotherhood or arcane here but a lot of shows/games that talk a big game about Empire and its horrors only to flop terribly on it, but still be appealing for other reasons

[danhoemei]

Hi, danhoemei.....if you don't mind me asking who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (canon or non-canon)? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hello thanad-zid, the curious sweetheart 💚 I don't mind at all, you actually made me think about the series I haven't thought about for so long! (I'll answer excluding danmei because that's material for a whole separate post and I partly answered that)

19 days by Old Xian - tianshan

(and zhanyi who I love with my whole heart but tianshan is The One for me akjvsbdv)

Tough on the outside but soft on the inside delinquent and the devilish lonely rich boy who'll go batshit crazy if his friends are in danger. Both of them learning to trust and very slowly showing their vulnerable sides to each other.... I can't say much, it's already a spoiler that they become closer because in the story they start as strangers or even "enemies". They're also secondary characters so they make appearance later in the story and gradually gain more importance (well, it started with them being secondary but tbh now they're one of the main characters with a lot of focus AND I AM SO HAPPY). But anyway, I am absolutely obsessed with them.

The original main pair (zhanyi) has completely different dynamic and vibe, but I love them and enjoy their story and relationship very much as well <3

This series has such variety of multilayered characters who honestly could have their own separate manhuas. I absolutely recommend 19 days, it started like absolute crack but gained so much depth and action and angst and questioning yourself and 'am I abnormal for having feelings for you' and trust and progress in relationships and-

I love this manhua so much, please read it, if you enjoy danmei you'll enjoy it.

Their story by Tan Jiu

You want a sweet story about a lesbiab who fell in love at first sight and then pursued her love interest, firstly becoming friends and learning about each other, everything among a lot of humor and shenanigans? Well here you go.

Brooklyn 9-9 - Jake and Amy & Friends - Monica and Chandler

I see similarities so I put them together lmao. They are wholesome and sweet, support each other no matter what, work for their dreams and for people they hold dear. The guys are hella funny but also very smart and cool, the girls are intense and ambitious and need to have everything under control but are also very sweet and loving. The shows are light and hilarious, good as a stress relief.

The Good Place - Chidi and Eleanor

First of all I recommend The Good Place in general, a wild ride of unexpected twists and turns, each reveal more “whaaat” than the previous one, with diverse representation and filled with philosophical questions and lessons, created by people who love philosophy. Its humor is incredible as well akjvndfv

Chidi and Eleanor are complete opposites - a nerd with severe anxiety issues who spent his whole life buried in books, and a bi disaster who partied hard, made a lot of bad things, and cared mostly about herself. They learn from each other and complement each other, all the while growing and changing right in front of our eyes.

Aggretsuko - Retsuko and Haida

HAIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im love him your honor. Get a partner who can do both (be sweet and supportive, be badass and taking no bullshit). I truly believe they'd be happy and just right for each other, and I want them to be together 😭😭

Yuri on ice - Yuri and Victor

akhdbsdjkfnlsdf if you watched this then you know why. I recommend it if you want a good quality lgbt anime with an interesting story, diverse characters, and beautiful skating scenes 💚 I love this wholesome duo so much T^T

Svvord of Truth - Richard and KahIan

I kinda feel like I owe it to them to mention them here, probably my earliest couple on this list. It’s an old high fantasy series which I read when I plunged straight into puberty, I haven't read it as a more mature person so I wonder if there are some harmful stereotypes I didn't see or how many typical tropes there are (well e.g. the main guy is so ridiculously overpowered and smarter/holier-than-thou, and there is a lot of black and white there) but also it’s a really complex world with interesting mechanics. However, what truly makes me remember this series fondly is because it was there with me when I was going through a lot of hardships, showing me a rich world with many people worth loving, strong women who I admired and strived to be, wise people of different backgrounds, cultures, and ages. It taught me how important it is to be kind and compassionate, that no matter how desperate your situation can get there is always hope and a way, that people who care about you will be there for you when you need them, and that you need to reciprocate as well. To always “think about the solution, not about the problem” which became the thing I repeat to myself every time I start struggling. The main couple also showed me what I want to strive for in a good relationship - support, understanding, standing by each other’s side no matter what, deep respect for each other and treating each other as equals, working for the relationship, and most importantly trusting each other. The series might be a typical high fantasy but for my growing and messed up mind it was a good teacher who reminded me of things we consider obvious but tend to forget, and might have played a significant role in who I am now.

Ok, I wanted to add a short bullet-point list of some other couples but this list is already long so let’s end here xd

[miyuwuki]

hello J! 😍Congratulations on 500 followers! :') i'm really happy to be one of them and seeing an active KNB blog these days. I was hoping to get a matchup too 😄

I am an INTJ. My interests include literature, art, philosophy, the occult, music, spirituality, and culture. I also like kickboxing and try my best to stay healthy all around. I am quite reserved and formal, but those close to me know that I am incredibly eccentric and love discussing theoretical ideas.

I love people who I can let loose with, and those who help foster my inner peace and quiet. Someone who’s not afraid of being themselves. Someone patient and kind and also a little bit eccentric, and thoughtful, helpful. Most importantly, I think, the person I would like to be with is someone who I can 101% be myself around with and they'll appreciate and at least try to understand and complement my sense of self. An easy going and natural relationship

I have an RBF and some people think I'm intimidating but I really just have an incessant poker face. I'm hardly ever serious, really. I tend to find humor in everything. Dry humor is probably my thing. My pros are that I’m a fast learner and resourceful. I like to think that I'm also thoughtful and attentive.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Congratulations again 🤠✨💸

a/n: hello! ty! enjoy this event! @shakethatsassyass

KUROKO NO BASKET

izuki shun

izuki can be a bit of an airhead, but he’s definitely smart. he will engage in those philosophical discussions with you because he’s curious to know as to what you think about things. he’ll say a couple not funny puns here and there but since you said dry humor is your thing, you’d probably be laughing your ass off on the ground. he’s also very kind and constantly thinks about other people— i guess growing up with a big family, he’s learned how to take care of other people without it being a hassle. considering he’s an intp, they connect so well with intj’s romantically, it’s impossible to not think that this is perfect. you can always be yourself when you’re with him because that’s when he loves you the most. imagine: it’s a rainy day outside, but inside you both are having pun competitions, seeing who can make the other laugh the hardest. he loves a person who loves his puns. studying with him is nice too, since both of you are very fast learners, all you guys need is each other’s company. he finds it hilarious when he sees other people afraid of you due to your rbf— because he knows the real you and that you’re just dorky and quirky (like him heh).

this relationship overall is very easy and laidback, if there’s any disputes there might be a bit of ignorance but you both will eventually work it out

mitobe rinnosuke

don’t mind that he’s quiet! mitobe is actually really funny and will laugh along with whatever you find funny too. he will listen to all your thoughts and try out your interests to show that he loves you and that he wants to get to know what matters to you the most. he is so patient with it and so gentle— he just wants to make you happy. sometimes he’ll even accompany you to kickbox as long as you participate in 1v1s with him in basketball. mitobe loves you best natural, so he always tries to make sure that whenever you’re with him, you feel safe being yourself. you both are very attentive so you guys get excited when something small catches your eye. mitobe only speaks when it’s important or when it’s to tell you he loves you, but even if he didn’t say it, you can pick up the signs that show his love. the way he looks at you when he speaks, when he does little gestures like opening doors or remembering your fave order— it’s easy loving mitobe.

*＊✿❀reblogs and likes are appreciated❀✿＊*

[thewellofastarael]

Tweet transcription:

I'd like to talk about why conservatives say things like this, for my progressive friends who genuinely don't know anyone like this. I was a libertarian, sort of, as a teenager (I recovered) and have read Hayek, Nozick, and Friedman. Here goes.

Sure, there are plenty of Repubs who are just cruel and like seeing people suffer, especially certain kinds of people. But there are plenty who think they are being virtuous and morally strong here.

Here is a brief anecdote about participating in college debate which was overrun by libertarians. There was a debate about drug testing welfare recipients. I argued against it, in part by arguing that the policy would disproportionately impact women. This ENRAGED my opponents, and apparently the judge (well beyond the normal "debate" energy). The issue was that 1) I mentioned women-stuff, but mainly that 2) I made an argument about the CONSEQUENCES of a policy, and I was supposed to decide on the justice of the policy in a vacuum of pure logic, and then wherever the chips fall: justice! No matter how it turns out.

And I think this is what progressives miss when arguing with conservatives. They believe a policy is just.  You tell them about the consequences: people suffer. They don't care. You say: How can you not care, you monster.

But: Libertarians/conservaties' whole deal is that you can only decide what is just BEFORE the consequences occur. You might be able to predict the consequences before making the policy, but they believe you *shouldn't.* They think you should be strong enough to ignore them and make a purely just policy (generally based on property rights).

So if you examine your principles and derive a policy that results in a mass of people starving, they think that consequence is irrelevant to the justice of the policy. Justice can only be decided before consequences. And they think you are immoral for thinking otherwise.

In philosophy class, discussions about "deontology" and "teleology" -- whether morality comes from the intent or the result of an act -- focused on examples wherein, for example, you feed a hungry person but accidentally poison them, or try to murder them but end up helping. In most of those philosophical examples, the person's intent seems most important, and the results are unexpected and unforeseeable. But IRL, people who subscribe to an entirely intent-based ethic aren't talking about these things.

This is why such people might subscribe to a policy that tries to reduce teen pregnancy via abstinence education, but actually increases it due to ignorance and lack of contraception. Showing them the results doesn't change their mind bc they think considering results is immoral. This is why such people enjoy policies involving work requirements in order to receive, say, food aid. When told that there are no jobs, or that many people receiving the aid are caregivers and cannot work full-time, they literally believe they are morally required to ignore this.

There is some mental gymnastics here. Most people do have some level of empathy for abject human suffering. Calling libertarians/conservatives psychopaths or something doesn't capture this.

If you're a liberal or progressive and hear about suffering, you probably think you, or we, should do something about it, or at least you feel guilty for not doing anything, or not being able to do anything. Because you *start there* when forming policies and beliefs. The progressive mind looks at the suffering in the world and reasons backwards to develop policies. The conservative mind finds this deeply corrupt. They reason the other way: decide what is just, and if suffering results, the only way to remain moral is to harden yourself to it. If you allowed your empathy to decide policy, you would override what you had decided was just in a "pure," results-free thinking space.

So this is what's happening when everyone I know RTs some Republican, like "This guy is a psychopath who doesn't care about people suffering." That's now how that guy sees himself. He probably thinks he is mentally strong and pure for making policy regardless of consequences. I'm clearly against that. But I understand it. As a teenager, I for some brief time existed in a space where I cried over newspaper articles about famine, but also read Ayn Rand (frankly, Robert Nozick is half as silly, a thread for another time)

It takes mental gymnastics to decide that "taxation is theft" or that we should design society as a "perfect meritocracy", and then to note that many people would die, and then to "stay strong" because you think the first thing is justice and the second is just unfortunate. So, this is what's going on in a lot of people's heads when you point out the consequences of their policies and tell them they don't care. They may care on a personal level, but they believe they are better than you for not letting it affect policy.

How do you work with that? Well, do you have a coherent philosophy about the limitations of property rights that leads to your desired result? No amount of evidence of suffering will persuade people who expect you to begin at the other end.

The end. -your friendly neighborhood phil-major-a-long-time-ago from the South

An astonishingly useful thread on progressive vs. conservative thought by Jennifer Dziura (text version via ThreadReader):

[444tsumu]

HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

                          𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

                      𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

                            𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

[tranquilstudy]

Hey everyone! So I've seen a lot of these floating around and I've always wanted to make one but just never had the creative incentive to do so... until now! I think these are pretty cool in how they allow people to get to know each other and bond on the studyblr community and as a community of welcoming and acceptance. Not all of the challenges on here are study-related but I think they make pretty decent conversation starters for people to get to know you and your studies better! Because this may be a time for people to take a break from school as well, I think the questions are fairly fitting. But, it's my first time doing this so who knows, haha.

Basic Information

The challenge will run from kind of a weird time: May 2nd, 2021 to May 27th, 2021. However, you can start or stop at any time! Feel free to participate in this whenever you feel like it. Everyone is welcome!

There are 25 26 prompts / challenges, and they range from strictly academia to just fun prompts to spruce up your posts. It's honestly more about getting to know yourself and where you direct your energy. There's questions for productive days and questions for days when you just wanna crawl into a ball and fall asleep forever. The most important part is having fun and connecting with others here, that's why I decided to make this. They're meant to be answered once a day, but know that you can answer however your posting schedule fits you! I know for me I don't typically post everyday so I'll probably be answering these in a bit of a wonky fashion. Feel free to join me or answer them on the dime!

If you decide that you wanna participate, whether at the designated time or not, feel free to use the tag #tranquilstuddybuddies ! I'll be following it and I'm excited to see what you guys come up with. Also, please reblog this post so that I know you're at least thinking of doing it! Even if you don't end up doing it. I'll create a taglist below as I see more people becoming interested and reblogging this post so we can all stay connected!

Questions

Daily Question: So, I've been doing a lot of yoga lately.

...I swear this will all make sense.

And I've been doing a lot of Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube, and in her practices she always tells her followers to set intentions for themselves, which I thought was really cool. So, I'm gonna borrow her idea here!

For every day of the challenge, you can answer one or two of the following:

1. Fill in the blank: Today, I choose _______. (Kind of like an affirmation for your day.

2. Fill in the blank: Today, my goals are __________. (Like a to-do list! what are your plans for the day? What do you want to accomplish?)

These are meant to be done along with the prompt for each given day. So , for Day One you would answer the daily question(s) as well as the prompt for Day One, and so on. They don't have to be answered but it might be a nice way to set yourself up for success, both in an academic and a mental mindset.

...

Prompt questions:

Day One: Tell us a little bit about yourself! What classes are you currently taking, if any? If not, what are you currently studying or what is your current long term productive projects or goals?

Day Two: Choose one: "True love flows like water, coming and going, surging and receding, and must be followed accordingly." or "True love is choosing someone or something, over and over, no matter what." Explain your choice if you'd like! Kind of a philosophical way to get the brain churning.

Day Three: Share some pictures from your favourite vacation or travels. What's your favourite part of this place? (Or, if thinking of travelling makes you sad because of covid restrictions, take a picture of your study area and tell me what you love most about it!)

Day Four: What are you doing to take care of yourself today? Show us a picture of your favourite face mask, tea / coffee / hot beverage or your comfort activity.

Day Five: What is your favourite band? Share some of your favourite songs from them! (Bonus points if you also share your study playlist with us, or what you like to listen to to get in "the zone").

Day Six: What do you do on days that you feel blue? Share three songs that help you feel better.

Day Seven: What type of learner are you? (Visual learner, audial learner, etc.)

Day Eight: Tag someone that you would love to stargaze with, talking about anything that comes to mind deep into the night. Can be a studyblr, or it doesn't have to be!

Day Nine: Tag someone that you think deserves to have more recognition in the study community. What are two things you like about them?

Day Ten: What would you love to learn more about or do more of?

Day Eleven: What article of clothing that you own makes you feel your best? Share it today!

Day Twelve: Do you have any pets? Share a picture and an interesting fact about them!

Day Thirteen: What class have you had the most fun in during your academic journey? What class have you learned the most in?

Day Fourteen: Do you believe that dreams reflect real life? What do you think dreams represent? (Kind of a random one, but interesting I think)

Day Fifteen: Within your field of study, what particular issues are you the most passionate or interested in? OR, what subject or class in school is your favourite?

Day Sixteen: What is your process for writing notes?

Day Seventeen: What time do you usually go to bed? Do you find falling asleep easy or difficult? How do you cope with not being able to fall asleep?

Day Eighteen: If you're comfortable with it, share an experience or a struggle that has helped you to become who you are today. (If you're not comfortable, share a picture of your handwriting instead!)

Day Nineteen: How would you describe your best friend? How do you think your best friend would describe you?

Day Twenty: What book(s) are you currently reading, if anything?

Day Twenty-One: What keeps you motivated? What motivation tips would you give to someone in a slump right now?

Day Twenty-Two: What do you use to escape from reality, if anything? Do you think it's necessary to escape from reality every once in a while?

Day Twenty-Three: Tag yourself: Team "late night matcha lattes, snuggled up with a blanket for one last late night review session" or Team "staying out late at the soda shop, drinking a milkshake and popping quarters into the jukebox, dancing your cares away"? (Team cozy matcha or team sodapop for short)

Day Twenty-Four: Share your favourite recipe for one of your favourite dishes to make! Can be cooking or baking.

Day Twenty-Five: Tag someone that gets you. On, like, a higher level. They just get you.

Day Twenty-Six: The end of the challenge! What did you like or dislike about this challenge? What did you enjoy? What did you learn? What are your plans for the future now that this challenge is over?

Well, I can't count. I thought there were 25 questions... *sigh* this is why I failed stats...

Taglist

@lampstudy @notionblr @asterinunfathomed @predvmstudies @itsleahstudies @divinity-study @helianthuscryptid @jkjustplanning @econtwin1 @leillee @mangofiend @mangomybeloved @agriblr @fromtheatretomedical @elentiascodex @finchleaf :)

[dai-bendu-conlang]

Qui-Gon’s Last Words in Dai-Bendu — a Meta/Explanation

So very early into this project, loosingletters and I (ghostwriter) watched The Phantom Menace together, and when Qui-Gon died, we looked at each other and were like “We can make this way sadder in translation, can’t we?” 

And so off we went, with that goal in mind. 

Because we went into this thinking “can we improve this interaction via language/translation?”  we need to first first explain why we don’t love Qui-Gon’s last words in canon, to then explain why we made the changes that we did.

The reasons are as follows:

Qui-Gon’s last words have nothing to do with Obi-Wan, the person he is saying goodbye to.

His last words being an order about Anakin left a weird taste in our mouths

We wanted this to feel more intimate and more emotional

So, we started with ways we could change the connotation of the words being used. We came at it from a lens of assuming that the dialogue was a classic “bad translation” of what was actually said; as in, someone translated the literal meanings of the words into English, and lost a lot of the social meanings that the words might have in their original contexts. 

Here are Qui-Gon’s original last words, in canon:

Obi-Wan: Master! Master! Qui-Gon: It’s too late. It’s too… Obi-Wan: No! Qui-Gon: Obi-Wan, promise...promise me you'll train the boy Obi-Wan: Yes, Master Qui-Gon: He is the chosen one...he will...bring balance...train him!

(Sidenote: upon actually looking up the dialogue, we were honestly shocked by how, like. Bare bones it is. And how pretty much all the emotion of that scene comes only from Neeson and McGregor acting their hearts out. So, kudos.)

When looking at this dialogue, we singled out the following things as points we could build on: 

Jedi cultural values regarding teaching (which we all have a lot of Feelings about)

The word “promise”

The whole idea of balance

And then we proceeded to go to town. 

The Dai Bendu translation of this dialogue is as follows:

Obi-Wan: Jaieh! Jaieh! Qui-Gon: Im enoh...nev forpai paikazah Obi-Wan: Shet. Qui-Gon: Obi-Wan, ikio… ikio fehl paipadenji keel nev paqorak. Obi-Wan: Haj dai, Jaieh. Qui-Gon: Enoah kar... daisha. Pauji... kar aimato’ak. Paden... karak.

Firstly, the things we didn’t change, ie: pretty much all of Obi-Wan’s dialogue.

Obi-Wan says, in order, “Master, Master!” (though he uses the Jedi-specific word for it, which also translates to “teacher”), “No.” and “Yes, Master,” just like in the original script. The most significant thing here is that the Dai Bendu word for “Yes” directly translates to “Force-Wills,” which could be read as some unintentional, ouchy subtext that both implies that Obi-Wan is agreeing with Qui-Gon’s point about Anakin being the Chosen One as a final act of comfort (because he’s expressed doubt about the possibility before), as well as conceding to both himself, Qui-Gon, and the universe that the Force has willed his Master’s death. 

Next, the things that changed from the script mostly as a symptom of the ways that Dai Bendu is different from English/Basic. For instance, Qui-Gon refers to Anakin as “the child” rather than “the boy,” because Dai Bendu does not express gender in that way. Instead of saying “it’s too late,” a more word-for-word direct translation of “Im enoh nev forpai paikazah” would be “no time is left,” which both lines up with how we imagine time works in Dai Bendu (link here), and is more natural to the way Dai Bendu handles sentence structure (“it’s too late” is a very English sentence construction). 

And now we get to the meaning changes. Other than changing the structure, “im enoh nev forpai paikazah” also adds “pai,” our consequential prefix, to “kazah,” which is the present-tense of the verb “kaza” or “to leave.” That makes the sentence mean something like “no time is left, and because of that the future has changed.” This is essentially Qui-Gon admitting to both himself and to Obi-Wan that his death is going to change, at the very least, Obi-Wan’s future forever, and also the future of the entire universe (though whether or not Qui-Gon knows this last part, in a Force-saturated moment right before death, is unclear in both the original version and our version). 

Qui-Gon’s next line is “Obi-Wan, ikio… ikio fehl paipadenji keel nev paqorak.” Again, we have the consequential prefix, this time attached to “paden,” which means “to guide/to teach,” here in the future tense. The implication of that being something like “teach him and it will alter the future.” Adding the consequential prefix to something which is already in the future tense is considered repetitive — comparable to saying something like “it is so enormously big” in English. A native speaker making the choice to add it here illustrates a conscious emphasis. Qui-Gon is really trying to express how important he thinks teaching Anakin is. 

We also have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about the Jedi as a people who are dedicated to teaching as a cultural value. On top of being archivists and having/keeping a vast collection of knowledge, Jedi do pretty much nothing but study/learn their entire lives. They are dedicated diplomats and so on, but outside of that they seem to want to foster understanding and that in-and-of itself is always a lesson. In TCW, for instance, everything is a teachable moment for someone. The fact that so much careful consideration is put into who you pick as your Padawan, and that you retain a deep connection to them even when the apprenticeship is over, shows that this connection and this act of teaching is immensely important. It is considered a standard part of each Jedi’s life to step into that teaching role at least once — nearly every Jedi takes on at least one apprentice. If you take Obi-Wan as an example, he spent half his time in the PT being a student, and then the other half being a teacher. So here, Qui-Gon is taking one of their culture’s most important values and handing it to Obi-Wan. 

Then we have the word for “promise” we used, “ikio.” While we have a standard word for promise, “aima,” the word that Qui-Gon uses here instead is one with more cultural meaning. “Ikio” refers to a very specific kind of promise, something like “promise me because you love me,” or “promise me because I trust you above all.”  The word dates back to the Jedi-Sith schism, where it was used as an oath to state that you trust this person to take your lightsaber and bring it back to your home temple, should you die in battle.

Which means that, holistically, the line “Obi-Wan, ikio… ikio fehl paipadenji keel nev paqorak” both places the highest amount of trust possible in Obi-Wan’s hands, while also stating that Qui-Gon believes him ready of preforming one of their most culturally important values, and trusts him implicitly to carry that out. 

Finally, the line “Enoah kar... daisha. Pauji... kar aimato’ak. Paden... karak.” Some of this is, again, just us having words in Dai Bendu which Basic doesn’t have. “Daisha” is the word for Chosen One, the one referred to as such specifically to that old prophecy Qui-Gon likes so much. It’s a word that all Jedi would be familiar with, but usually in the context of folk tales. It’s like calling someone “The Once and Future King.” (Which also makes Qui-Gon talking to the Council way funnier — “hey guys, I found King Arthur!” “what the fuck??”). Qui-Gon also uses the third person Jedi/in-community pronouns when referring to Anakin, showing that he already thinks of this kid as a Jedi. 

Then there is the concept of “aimato,” here in the accusative case as “aimato’ak.” Aimato is the word for “cosmic balance,” which is both a very important idea in Jedi philosophy, and also a very big and abstract concept. And like any other big and abstract concept which has a large impact on lives and culture, like Love or Brotherhood or Democracy or God, it’s something that individual people and individual Jedi have different conceptions of and ideas about. This is a culture of warrior-philosophers — pretty much everyone has a slightly different theory as to what aimato/”cosmic balance” is supposed to mean and what it will look like when it is achieved, or if it’s possible to achieve, from "it means that one day the Force shows itself to all people" to "it's about finding balance within only yourself" to "it means that evil will finally stand down" to "it means that all who strive for it will achieve peace" to "it's in tiny everyday moments." People sit around and debate this for hours. 

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan deeply disagree on it’s definition, given their specialties in the Living vs. Unifying Force, and have essentially had an ongoing debate about it for years. It’s an old, comfortable argument both of them know that neither is ever going to win. They could both probably recite the other’s points in their sleep. However, it’s something they end up going back to every time they have a spare moment with nothing else to do. 

Qui-Gon bringing it up here is not only referring to something very important in their culture, it’s almost like referencing an old, treasured inside joke between him and his student, which is something Obi-Wan would pick up on right away. 

So, to summarize; we attempted to modify this very... Anakin-focused last dialogue, and instead make it about Qui-Gon telling Obi-Wan he trusts him above all, specifically to teach (which, again, with Jedi and their teaching focused culture is a HUGE thing) and to continue their discussions and keep their traditions going with this child.

It’s also a fun thought experiment in translation studies — sometimes, things really can get lost in a one-for-one translation of something, when cultural and collaborative meaning aren’t considered and translated accordingly. 

Thank you for reading!

[thanks-mike-stamford]

Fics that inspire my writing - Part II

This is Part II. Read Part I or Part III

Continuing the discussion, I grouped these fics together for something they have in common: author style! It was actually a bit hard choosing them because they are all written by authors who have a distinct style. Something in them that makes you recognise the author right away, that makes you think - oh yes, definitely is a story from this person. When you have a bunch of stories with the same kind of feel, it's hard to choose one to illustrate my point. Tip is: binge read the authors below!

Part II

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii Back when there wasn't even s2 yet I was already reading stuff from this author. I absolutely love their fics. This one is super interesting, a Good Omens fusion book version - beyond numerous screaming posts on the internet I'm not really familiar with this universe.

Something I like in all their fics and it's worked beautifully in this one is that there's more than it seems under the surface. The characters are not an open book even to the reader, and the narrator (close Sherlock POV) doesn't give all the information. The narrator sometimes doesn't even explain the information we are given. The facts are presented piece by piece, building the layers of a character, making it clear that even if right now, for this story, it's not relevant, this person is a complex human being (or angel. Or demon) that doesn't exist solely for the purpose of the plot. Two factors help with this: the non-linear narrative, that permits we only know a part of someone when it becomes relevant; and the sort of omniscience of Sherlock. I say sort of because yes, he's a demon and he has access to the core of someone. He's able to fish for stuff that happened in someone's life and how they feel about that as a way to build their vulnerability to sin. However, this is not necessarily mind-reading or future prediction. He makes deductions based on the soul, let's put this way. But because he can't use it to predict exactly what is going to happen, he still gets surprised. Because the characters are layered, they are able to be consistent with what we know and yet unexpected, up until the end.

The combination of giving powers to the narrator and using non-linearity is brilliant, working to enhance the themes behind the plot, which are about the complexity of the human soul. I'm working on a WIP that has similar themes and I try to play with these aspects to make it smooth like this story, instead of a philosophical essay using voices of characters. I've tried the non-linear narrative in a published fic, but it didn't have the same level of success in serving the story. Let's see if it goes better when I try again.

What It Is by toyhto This author has two main things going on in their fics: the type of angst that makes you question yourself, and the type of humour that is not really about trying to make you laugh, it's a very weird type of humour. I love weird stuff.

This fic is not Toyhto's best angsty one or best humourous one, but it's one that creates a good mix of both, like a tragicomedy (but without a tragic ending). You have John not knowing how to feel about Sherlock, and Sherlock gambling possibilities on how to fix the situation. It's the narrative that fascinates me. The story keeps its cards close, the reader is often a bit uncomfortable, a bit wrong-footed. You don't know where the story is going (hell, sometimes you don't even know where a scene is going), so you keep hanging up until the end. There's an underlying panic in how characters interact, but it's never hysterical, it's never loud or obnoxious. And then you find yourself snorting in situations that shouldn't have been funny. Life is usually not one genre or the other, so why literature should be? I love that the story never tries to be something (sad, funny, intriguing), and yet it is. It's not easy to pull something like this.

I have a WIP currently on my drive folder where I try to play with this tragicomedy narrative thing. This fic inspires me in trying to keep the reader on their toes all while looking effortless.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords DiscordantWords has been out there since 2016 showing how there's more than a way to fix canon. In fact there are multiple ways. This is the author you want to go if you watch the show and think eeh this should have gone a different way. There's probably a story in here which takes the same premise you thought about.

This one is just too incredible. Because it picks up right from a crucial point in canon and said - ok, what if everything still happened, but they actually make sense? For this story consistency is key, and if canon gave us a John Watson making bad decisions while nursing an unreliable brain work, that's what you get. But make it make sense! This is what happens when you are on a roll of bad decisions, this story tells me. This is what happens when you're isolated from what before kept you on track. This is what happens when on top of everything your mind is playing you tricks: they don't just stop because you decided to. That's not how it works. This story acknowledges the bad stuff, but to fix them it doesn't propose miracles, and it definitely doesn't ignore them. We get the consequences but we also get the process of change that is necessary for things to be good once again. Like John says: there's a difference between wishing something happened differently and wishing it hadn't happened at all. But it did happen, so now what?

Make it canon divergence but character consistency and twist it to fix it, it's what inspires me in this fic.

The Ancillus's Tale by Chryse I reiterate that everything by Chryse is a must, but everyone that follows me on twitter had to deal with me constantly gushing about their most recent work for months, so it will be this one here. I just have a lot of feelings about this fic. Oh, yes, omegaverse again, inspired by The Handmaid's Tale.

The one aspect that comes to my mind when I think about Chryse's works is dark themes. If I want to read about fucked up stuff happening, I will go to them. And this particular fix has fucked up stuff from the first to the last chapter. And it's very immersive: you get inside the head of whoever is POV at the moment, Sherlock or John. You get their physical reactions, their thoughts, you know what they know. And the world building is on point: detailed enough that is totally credible, you can see reality becoming that way, but it's not described to exhaustion. We are presented the info about what we need to know, and rest is there, somewhere at your peripheral vision where you know it exists but it doesn't become a nuisance to the plot. But more important than that, it's how the dark themes are treated. It's never on black or white situations, surprisingly, despite the universe setting. The characters especially - they are allowed to have conflicted feelings, they are allowed to misbehave even if they are supposed to be on the good side, they have nuance and complexity. And the cherry on top: just because it has a dark premise, it doesn't mean it can't have a super satisfying happy ending that even brings comfort to the soul after letting it being hurt. We get snippets of comfort, the promise it's going to happen all along the fic, to compensate the extreme suffering the characters are going through. It's glorious.

I have been toying with the idea of writing something on the dark side. In fact my next multi chapter is super fucked up (but as always, with the certainty of a happy ending), and I hope it can see the world soon. I'm writing with this premise in mind: characters are allowed to have conflicted feelings, and they are allowed to misbehave, that won't make them the bad guys.

This was part II! If you missed part I, just click here. Part III is up!

[neocatharsis]

NCT’s Mark Lee on Dreams, Instagram Poetry, and Growing Up

Mark has a lot going on — but he’s making time for poetry, introspection, and, of course, the members of NCT Dream. - Vivien Wu

“I’ve been thinking about dreams a lot these days!” Mark Lee exclaims over Zoom from SM Entertainment’s Seoul headquarters.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

The 21-year-old leader of NCT Dream is enthusiastic as he mulls over the meaning of dreams, his back against a wall of pink and yellow flowers assembled by his fellow NCT members. He’s wearing a simple, white tee, and when he gestures with his hands, you can catch glimpses of the friendship ring that all seven members of NCT Dream wear as a symbol of their bond.

“I actually feel like dreams hold a large portion of a life, and I’m not just talking about the subconscious dreams that we all have when we sleep,” he continues. “If you put it in a way where dreams are actually things that motivate us, and the drive that keeps us going, especially as a strongly driven person myself, I feel like… a guy with no dreams is like…” He looks up, thinking. “…A car with no engine. So, I think it’s as important as yourself. That’s how deep I go with dreams.”

His interest in dreams is fitting, considering that they are also the central, underlying concept to the lore behind NCT Dream’s parent group, NCT. They connect their three subunits, NCT 127, NCT Dream, and WayV, in a complex, Inception-inspired fictional universe where dreams are the only way they can find each other, and where upon uniting they can mix to form new subunits collectively referred to as NCT U. In practical terms, this has resulted in a 23-member mega-group that is multifaceted in every way — from their musical styles and visual aesthetics to their cultural backgrounds and spoken languages.

NCT Dream’s original teenage concept meant that members were supposed to “graduate” when they came of age, and as the oldest, Mark was the first to leave the group at the end of 2018. Having grown attached, however, fans were devastated at his departure; after a year of separation, SM announced that the graduation system would be scrapped and that he would rejoin the group. Their new album, Hot Sauce, is the first with Mark in over two years. As fellow member Haechan declared in an interview with Teen Vogue earlier this week, “Mark [is] very special. NCT Dream means Mark.”

But before the rapper led NCT Dream, and before he joined NCT U and NCT 127 and SuperM — the man is in high demand — Mark’s childhood dream was writing. He grew up in Toronto, and through doing school projects and essays quickly discovered that he had a natural way with words. Inspired by Percy Jackson author Rick Riordan, Harry Potter, and James Patterson, Mark dreamt of becoming an author, long before he was recruited by SM at a global audition in Canada in 2012. “When I was in school, I was always the kind of guy who would write more than expected, and that became a thing that clicked for me,” he says. “I was like, ‘Maybe it’s something that I naturally do?’ But then that kind of turned into rap writing too, so I guess they kind of clicked together.” It explains his prolific career as a lyricist; since debuting, he’s amassed over 30 songwriting credits across his various groups, contributing to songs as iconic as NCT U’s “Boss,” NCT 127’s “Cherry Bomb,” and NCT Dream’s “Chewing Gum.”

Even with such an extensive body of work, however, penning lyrics hasn’t satiated his appetite for literary expression. In an interview with Japanese magazine Men’s Non-No, he revealed that he still hopes one day to write a book, whether that be a novel, autobiography, or something more philosophical.

In the meantime, he’s taken to writing what are basically short poems on his Instagram, which he created just a few months ago. He’s gathered over 4.5 million followers since then, but having such a large audience hasn’t deterred him from being endearingly vulnerable with the way he writes. When I refer to them as poems, he laughs and looks embarrassed, but when I ask him to tell me the stories behind them, he’s enthusiastic again. They’re short, but offer brief glimpses into Mark the writer — sharp, inquisitive, and thoughtful. As pieces of literature, they’re a little rough around the edges, but the sincerity he’s known for shines through, illuminating the introspective, philosophical side that may not be so obvious in person.

His first poem, loosely titled “Late Night Scribbling,” put into words his musings about sleep, thoughts, feelings, and writing. It meanders from topic to topic, hovering between feelings of hope and hopelessness, before ending with a comically awkward “haha.”

“I actually wrote that by imagining how I wanted to organize my Instagram page,” he explains. “I was thinking of creating an Instagram, then I realized that, well, I’m not really a picture kind of guy, I’m not really a travelling kind of guy… I kind of studied who I am first, and I [asked myself], ‘What’s something that I can really portray in an intimate way?’ and it turned out to be writing.”

“I started to brainstorm what kind of topics I could write about, and then from there on, I started to write a little each and every night, and that turned into Late Night Scribbling,” he continues. “That kind of gave me courage to start Instagram in the first place, that piece of writing.”

Two weeks later, he followed it up with “Black Socks,” a whimsical ode to, well, black socks — complete with accompanying photos of him wearing said socks. Immediately, it feels more confident and cohesive than its predecessor. Using the neat and tidy look of black socks as a metaphor, he describes his own mindset for living life: “Pleasure from perfect alignment; That also goes for my ability to be parallel with my thoughts and actions; I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep it consistent even when forgotten like a working habit.”

Comments on the posts praise his writing and encourage him to continue sharing these small pieces of himself. On the stage, Mark takes on a confident, larger-than-life persona, while in vlogs and spoken interviews, he’s a bubbly character full of laughter and boyish charm. What the poems show is that, beneath these outer appearances, there’s another layer of complexity that is yet to be fully explored, and it’s not surprising that fans want to know more.

His day job as a K-pop idol doesn’t allow a lot of time for hobbies, though, and he confesses to not having written much lately. Despite that, he’s determined to stay in the industry for as long as possible. “Longevity is something that I’ve always been aiming for,” he says. “I’m willing to do this for a long time, and that requires a lot of work. I’m willing to take that as a challenge and I’m trying to stay as long as I can, but with quality.”

That focus on quality informs his preparations for the upcoming promotions with NCT Dream. In both their fictional world and ours, NCT Dream are a central component of NCT by virtue of their unique focus on growth — the seven members were aged between 14 and 17 when the group first debuted in 2016. Fast-forward five years, and the members are now 19 to 21, having reached a milestone in January when the youngest, Jisung, finally became a legal adult in Korea. When asked if he feels like an adult yet, though, Mark gives an extremely relatable answer with zero hesitation.

“I still feel like I’m in middle school, I’m gonna be totally honest. I swear to God, I feel like I’m… All right, I’ll put it up — I feel like I’m in high school!” He laughs. “I even had this talk with Jisung, ‘cos he’s the latest that turned into an adult. He said that he still feels like he’s a student, he doesn’t feel like he’s 20 [19 in international age] right now.”

It’s been a long time since all seven Dream members — Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung — have released an album together, and as the first full-length album since their debut, the fan anticipation is palpably intense. Mark himself has mentioned in various vlogs how important he believes this comeback to be, and that conviction becomes obvious whenever he talks about it.

“We had a talk all together, the seven of us, without any cameras or anything. I brought all the guys together and we talked before the whole momentum started, and I said that I’m willing to put my everything on this one. Like, I always had, but I feel like… the whole universe, or like— ” He pauses, trying to figure out how to articulate himself, and his next line is the most emphatic of our whole conversation. “There are things that are out of our control, but we can see and feel when the pieces match together sometimes, and I feel like this specific moment, this particular album, kind of had those essential parts.”

He’s thinking about all of the context surrounding this comeback: the group’s coming of age, the reunion of all seven members, the scale of the album, the fact that Jisung has only just recovered from a leg injury that meant he couldn’t dance for months — even the fact that 2020 was, against all odds, the best year yet for NCT, with release after release bringing them unprecedented success and momentum.

“I felt that coming and I explained all of that [to the group],” he continues. “This whole period of time has a lot of meaning to it, and we’re not taking that for granted, we’re working hard.” With everything that’s happened, Hot Sauce is a historic moment for NCT Dream, and that’s been reflected in their numbers — the album clocked over 1.7 million pre-orders, obliterating their previous record of 500,000 for last year’s EP, Reload.

Their familial bond and the success that has come with it is the culmination of years spent living, working, and growing up together. The members have collectively missed out on key experiences that most teenagers might take for granted, distanced as they are from normal life, and the group also benefits from an unusually loose adherence to traditional Korean age hierarchy. The result is a brotherhood that goes beyond just being colleagues. “What we have is pretty intimate, and it’s also genuine,” Mark says.

About his role, he is matter of fact. “I’m by far the most easily approachable punching bag for the team. I am not… complaining…” He laughs. “But all jokes aside, I feel like my role for this team… Yes, I am the oldest and I am the leader but I’m also… In Korea, in the culture, age is very important, but we’ve come so far that all those borders kind of just vanished and we’re all pretty much friends, and I guess I’m just a friend of theirs too.”

It’s true that, despite being the leader, his friendly personality and endearingly awkward mannerisms mean that he commands about as much authority as a small puppy. Instead, much like a puppy, he is showered with love and affection (fellow member Chenle refers to Mark as his son and his actual puppy Daegal as Mark’s little sister), but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a dependable leader figure. The opposite is true — in Renjun’s words, Mark’s presence unites the group in a way that makes him irreplaceable.

And while this may be the fifth year since their debut, in the grand scheme of things, the members of NCT Dream are still very, very young — by most standards, they would still be considered to have their entire careers ahead of them. Growth has brought them here, but where does Mark think it will take them in the future?

“Growing just never stops for us, I can see us growing continuously, endlessly,” he replies. “What the future holds is something that we will never know, but we always do try to prepare during the present, and so with whatever time we have currently and with whatever album, or whatever stage, or whatever piece of music it may be, we’re willing to make sure that we have the next one coming too.”

A final thought. “I’m glad that we’re striving for that, ‘cos we started off as…” Mark shakes his head, “…as babies.”

© Teen Vogue