#Like I still can't believe that's a real thing. that happened
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JJ MAYBANK x READER
Summary: The Kooks show up on the beach and JJ defends you
I was with the Pogues all day, like any other day. The sun was shining and the waves were awesome. We woke up that morning and quickly went to the beach. It seemed like everybody had that idea, the beaches filled up within ten minutes it seemed. We got the Twinkie to the beach, well John B did, but not without almost crashing since he was drinking. I tried to tell him to stop, but there was no telling that kid what to do.
I never really was taught how to surf, but that didn't stop me from going out there and just sitting on my surfboard. JJ has tried to help me, but I'm just not very coordinated, to say the least, but he still loves me. I watched everybody surf for a while before deciding to go back to the beach. As I was walking back to the Twinkie, I saw a Jeep start driving over my way. I knew it was Topper and his goons as soon as I saw the vehicle. I sat down on one of the folding chairs we had set up before going to the water, trying to ignore them. I watched as he parked next to us. "What the hell is he doing?" I heard someone ask, looking to see Kie walking over to me.
"I have no clue," I replied, "I just hope no drama happens. It's a nice day and I would hate to have it ruined by them.โ I looked over to see Topper, Kelce, Rafe, and Ruthie. I've never liked Topper, but I don't think he's a bad person. I think he's so focused on Kooks versus Pogues, that nothing else matters. It's always been a competition between the two. "I don't understand how he goes from Sarah," I gesture over to Sarah, still surfing, "to Ruthie." I look over to where the Kooks are and see Ruthie glaring at us.
"Well, it's simple," Kie started, "he had the best with Sarah, and now he's just, well, desperate." We both chuckled. I looked over at Kie and saw her grabbing a beer from the cooler, she raised one up to me and I shook my head. I know that there should be at least one of us sober to drive home. "Kie, we're being real mean girls-esque right now," I pointed out. She shrugged her shoulder before responding to me, "Trust me, she's said way worse about us." Kie came over and sat next to me. We sat there for a while before we heard someone walking over to us.
"Hey, can you tell your asshole boyfriend to stop hogging all the waves?" I look up and see Ruthie talking to me, not even acknowledging Kie. I look out and see JJ standing up on his board, noticing Topper doing the same thing before jumping off into the water due to JJ getting in front of him. If it was any other situation I would mention something, but I also know JJ wouldn't do that to someone else. "Ruthie, I can't control what he does," I look up to her hovering over me, "he's out there and I'm over here." She rolls her eyes at me, "You're such a bitch. Can't you just do something for once in your life?" she asks me, it was more of a statement than anything.
"Ruthie," I stand up and walk in front of her, "if JJ comes over here, I'll say something, but until then, how about you go back to your friends and leave us alone." I turned around and started to walk over to the Twinkie, looking at Kie and rolling my eyes at the whole interaction. I didn't get too far before I felt hands on my back, pushing me forward. "What the fuck," I heard Kie shout before coming over to me. I looked back at Ruthie and rolled my eyes at her. โCan't believe you were ever a Kook," she said with attitude before walking away from us.
Kie started to go after her, wanting to protect her friends, but I pulled her back, "Kie, it's not worth it," I told her, "they'll just turn it into our fault if you do anything." She tries to argue with me, but I just sit back down in the chair, trying to forget the interaction. I'm fiddling with my nails when I hear someone ask, "Hey, you good?" I look up to find a shirtless JJ jogging over to me with his board under his arm. I look over and see Sarah and John B getting some drinks from the cooler. I didn't even notice they were back. I nodded my head at JJ and gave him a small smile. He came and squatted down to be level with me, he took my hands, "What happened?"
"Ruthie," I replied looking back down, "she came over and was talking shit. Normal Kook behavior." I looked up at him before I heard Kie, "She pushed her, but your girlfriend over there decided to take the high road. Wouldn't even let me go after her." I looked over at Kie and gave her a look, not wanting her to have said anything. I look back to JJ who is looking over at the group of Kooks. "JJ, it's fine," I tell him placing my hand on his cheek, trying to calm the storm that is forming. He quickly stood up and started walking over to them. I quickly got up and went after him to stop him, but not before Topper yelled over at us, "Oh, look who it is, the Pogue prince and princess."
I took JJ's hand in mine, trying to calm him down. I felt him squeeze my hand tighter, letting me know he was fine. "Topper, let's cut the bullshit," JJ said in an annoyed voice, "all we wanted to do was enjoy the waves and the nice weather but you always seem to be right there, ruining it; your girlfriend too." Topper chuckles at JJ and gets closer to him, "I'm not the one ruining it. You pushed me off my board, and Ruthie here was just defending me."
"I didn't push you off your board, you jumped off," he stated with a small smirk on his lips. "Plus, you had been getting in front of us every other time, I thought it was a competition." Topper scoffs at JJ. I had only seen JJ get in front of Topper that one time, but it didn't surprise me that they had been getting in front of JJ beforehand. "Yup," Topper dramatically throws his hand up in the air, "it's always the damn Kooks fault with you guys."
"Seriously Top," I interrupted getting closer to him, "You've always hated the Pogues, don't act all high and mighty. You've started shit with them so many times I can't even remember. Even when we were friends you were an asshole to them." He looks at me with wide eyes, "I can't imagine what Sarah ever saw in you." As I turn my back away from him, I'm quickly pushed to the ground. "What the fuck!" I hear JJ yell before helping me off the ground. I wipe the sand off my legs and turn to face them. Ruthie was smirking at me, proud of herself. Topper was staring at her with a hint of anger in his face.
"Don't ever fucking touch her again," JJ said to Ruthie, but it was directed towards the entire group. I started walking away, not wanting to even be on the beach anymore. I overheard JJ add, "Don't even come near her or I'll fucking end you."
I heard his feet shuffle in the sand to catch up with me. He took my hand and faced me towards him. "I'm so sorry princess," he said before he engulfed me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and he placed a kiss on the top of my head. "If they ever bother you again," he says and places his hands on either side of my face, looking at me, "please tell me." I shook my head at him before he put his arms around me and pulled me into another hug. I've never felt more safe than when I'm in his arms.
We walk back to where the rest of the group is standing. They started asking questions about what happened and we told them. "How was I ever with him before you," Sarah asks looking over at John B. He shrugs his shoulders before we all chuckle at her, trying to in fact imagine what she saw in Topper. We packed up our things and left soon after, not wanting to be on the beach any longer.
We drove home and quickly unpacked our things before we went to the house. We were stopped at the door by Pope, with bloody hands. The atmosphere taking a drastic change from earlier.
I started this with a different ending in mind, but it didn't go in that direction so here we are... Not my favorite but it's what I got lol
#masterlist#fanfic#request#requests open#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj obx#obx#jj x reader#outerbanks jj#outer banks#obx fanfiction#obx fic#obx x reader
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ok and now some thoughts about my early experience of parenting.
it kinda rocks... i really like it. i will definitely have a second kid if finances and biology work out. my life is so much better with this little guy in it. the sacrifices so far are mostly minor and are much more logistical than personal. i have to work more hours than i'd ideally want to because there's only one paycheck. i have to try to cobble together more sleep than i used to because i am pretty tired at the end of the day. i can't go to the gym or run an errand or go write at a coffeeshop for a few hours without hiring a sitter or asking my friends to help out. but the tradeoff is i get to be this little kid's mom. he thinks i'm pretty funny and he's interested in everything i do and he calls to me to get me to come over to his mat and talk to him and he likes to grab my face and hold it still so he can study it real intently and when he's upset he wants me to snuggle him until he feels better. i would pick that over getting to run into a store without the stroller a million times over.
i remember reading this book years ago where someone (paulo freire? someone influenced by freire's pedagogy?) recommended that all teachers, no matter how long they'd been teaching, carve out time every six months to reflect on their teaching practices and consider whether those practices were aligned with their core/guiding values as educators. i obviously love this idea because i was born to engage in sustained reflective journaling about my values lol. but also: i do think there's value in setting aside time at regular intervals to check in with yourself about the way you are living, or about whatever you are practicing, whether it's teaching or your work with others or, in this case, parenting. so idk i might try using his birthday and half birthday as time to journal both about my kid and about my own practice of parenting.
do i have a practice of parenting?? that sounds too fancy for someone who is only six months in lol. but i do enjoy thinking about what i'm doing and i like trying to connect the day-to-day choices i'm making to larger principles. i have written about this before but idk i think i am somebody who derives a strong sense of security and groundedness from having a loose framework of guiding values i can refer to when making decisions. and i guess in this first round of reflective journaling i will try to articulate what some of those emerging values/principles are. here we go:
I am making a conscious effort to not sweat the small stuff. there are one million things you can be worried or stressed about in parenting. and there are one million ways you can fall into the trap of thinking that if you just control every single variable nothing bad will happen to your kid. i am trying, inasmuch as i can, to avoid at least a few ways of falling into that trap. i have worked really hard to choose flexibility instead of rigidity when it comes to, for instance, letting other people care for my kid. it's okay if people do things differently than i would - as long as he's safe, he can only benefit from being exposed to different caretaking styles and adapting to different people's ways of engaging with him. i also made a decision early on to not engage with any parenting content on social media (this means ignoring the dozens of insta reels my mom sends me every week lol) and that has been really healthy/good for me. there is TOO MUCH information out there. it is way too overwhelming. you could spend your whole life worrying and i want to spend my life doing other things, like funny accents and comedy bits for the baby.
i am working hard to not interpret other people's parenting choices as a judgment of my own. i really believe that there are lots of different ways to raise healthy, well-adjusted kids. we can make different choices (small and big choices!) and still arrive at the same outcomes. i just really don't want to be the kind of person who takes it personally when people do something differently than i would've! i want to be secure enough in my choices to be able to accept and appreciate a whole range of other parenting styles. i also want to be humble enough to realize that i don't have it all figured out and might learn something from reflecting on someone else's parenting choices. anyway this has been a challenging one as i sometimes DO feel quite judged or shamed by other people's choices. but i also think it's ok to feel that reaction as long as i can keep making space for myself to take a deep breath and think through why i feel like that. idk! work in progress but i've only had six months of practice lol.
i am also trying not to interpret other people's anxieties as anything other than them working through their own stuff. to give one example: i love my mom so much but she is just, like, vibrating out of her skin with anxiety at all times about literally everything. and she has really found an outlet for that anxiety in grandparenting. i get dozens of texts a week about what exercises i should be doing with him and what experiences i should be making sure he has and where i should be taking him and what i should be saying to him and what i should be asking the doctor about and so on and so forth. this obviously could be pretty stressful, and i know that my brother and SIL find it so stressful that it is kind of negatively impacting their relationship with her. but idk i feel like with my mom i spent a lot of my life taking her anxieties personally, thinking that she thought i was incompetent/incapable/irresponsible/whatever. and then at some point in the last few years i was just like oh... this isn't about me at all, is it? this has absolutely nothing to do with me. this is just her fear and her terror of doing things wrong and her overwhelming need to avoid shame, and all of that emotional stuff just happens to be playing out in this relationship because we are close enough that she can lets her emotional walls down and let me see the churning river of anxiety that runs through the heart of her life. i wish that she didn't feel like that. but it's also not something i can fix or change. the only thing that is within my control is the choice not to take it personally, which in turn helps me put some guardrails around it so that it doesn't impact our relationship. idk i think this will probably be an ongoing thing i have to sort through for myself. but also she is who she is and i love her and it is important to me that she be a big part of owen's life. so we will figure it out.
I refuse to optimize my parenting because i refuse to see my child as a thing that needs to be optimized. this is in some ways hard for me because in many respects i am all-in on the very american philosophy that everything can be improved endlessly, including yourself and your family, if you just work harder and care more and give endlessly of yourself to the work. but nope! nope. not for parenting. not for my kid. i want him to have experiences and be exposed to new things, but not so he can "get ahead" or excel in things. i want him to be curious, engaged, interested, flexible, alive to the world, open to new things. i do not care if he is bilingual by age four or has a STEM curriculum at his daycare or goes to a top college or whatever. and i want the choices i make about what we do together and how we spend our time to reflect that. idk he's still so little that this is not super relevant yet but i can feel some of it creeping in.
lastly: i am trying to approach all aspects of parenting with the fundamental belief that i am and will be a good parent. i feel like our culture wants women in particular to spend all their time feeling guilty and inadequate as mothers. we also don't get a lot of external feedback on whether or not we're doing a good job as parents, which i think can make us frantic for validation and riddled with self-doubt over whether we are doing Enough. but i want to just like, try to cut some of that out and just answer it for myself. i'm doing a great job. i'm a great mom. i love my kid and my kid loves me. as i learn more about my child and myself as a parent i will undoubtedly adjust my approach to parenting many times, but making adjustments doesn't mean i was doing something "wrong" or "bad" before. it just means i want to try something new or shift gears a little bit. idk maybe this sounds dumb but i actually think it is proving kind of powerful so far as a strategy for managing parenting anxiety. i just assume that my parenting instincts are reasonably good and will guide me to make reasonably good choices, and if something turns out not to work, i assume i am a good enough parent to figure it out and adapt accordingly.
ok!! good journaling session and now it's time for bed!!
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โโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโKody inhaled sharply as his fingers dug into her side, knowing that there would be bruises left after his touch disappeared, lingering proof of whatever was happening. Or would there? Was any of this real? It had to be. Even her worst trips were never this bad but if it was real, that opened a door to a lot of questions that Kody didn't want to ask or have answered. A hand moved to rest on the back of his head, fingers gripping his hair as he continued to ravage her skin, wondering if they were past the moment of when she should have started yelling for someone. Clearly she needed help. Either he was planning on possibly killing her, or hurting her in some way, or she was hallucinating and, in either case, that wasn't great.
โโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ"Moved on?" she repeated breathily, teeth dragging over her bottom lip while she tried to make sense of what was happening. "Baby, no one is you." For better or worse. There would never be anyone like Luke, full stop. "But don't be mad now, we were never together, right? We weren't meant to be a real thing." The words had been on repeat in her head ever since she'd gotten that first text from his mother. Gold digging whore. Even if that hadn't been true, the two of them certainly hadn't been an item. "You really can't blame me for having a little fun, you know how I am." Maybe better than most and apparently he was still figuring some things out. It was crazy how much the brain still seemed to work after death. Or, supposed death.
โโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ As he finally leaned back, giving her just enough room to take a breath, Kody's grip on his hair tightened, pulling him even further away from her. She had no idea if it would hurt him or not, unsure if he could even feel anything but if he could...she hated knowing he probably would have liked it. "You left us, Luke. You brought us here and pulled your shit and left us." She had to believe that. Needed to believe that it was not her fault ( even if it was ). "And here's a secret, baby, since you like them so much. We couldn't have gone home, we couldn't have done anything. Not if your parents had anything to do with it."
luke's grip became constrictive , possessive . wandering fingers hooked around the notch of her waist , working to harshly bury their lustful tips into her side . " come back with you . . . ?? " luke mused . his laughter , slick with oil , rolling off of a forked tongue that came out to flicker against the protruding bone of her clavicle . " please , baby โ you've moved on , haven't you ?? " venom tinged each word , punctured each syllable , oozed from canines that now scraped along jugular veins , with a half-minded temptation to sink into them .
" first ortesky , then me . . . now reeve ?? " he forced her back into his embrace , winding limbs around her like a boa , threatening to squeeze until eyes bulged & lungs crumpled in on themselves . " be honest , kody , have you & isla . . . " he drawled , vile laughter permeating the crisp air , drawing the lobe of her ear between his teeth , nipping too hard โ too hungrily โ at her flesh . almost like he wanted to consume it . swallow her whole .
" i always thought you to be pretty & harmless , kody , but . . . that isn't true , is it ?? " luke's nose traced the sharp edge of her jaw , deeply inhaling , a guttural groan of appreciation sounding โ as. if the very darkness he knew to plague her mind , intrigued him far more than anything else about her ever had . " you're a wicked little thing . greedy . no better than the rest of them , "
only then did he lean back , pools of cerulean swarming with horrific malice . " i could have come home with you , but you left me here . you left me . "
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Your advice to the letter-writer whose friend is a former abuser is interesting to me! I largely agree with the specifics, but I'd have added advice to be careful with how the former abuser treats the letter-writer. I might also advise them to be careful whenever the former abuser describes conflicts, as they might be likelier than average to use a woe-is-me framework. I would recommend caution with anything the abuser suggests they do that might cause them discomfort or humiliation, even if it sounds righteous in theory. I realize this is not very fair of me. The former abuser shouldn't have to live with increased carefulness and suspicion from their friends. Maybe it's not a real friendship if you're always wary about your friend potentially turning on you. But purely pragmatically... a lot of former abusers do abuse again, even if they had changed, sincerely, for a while. And "my friend who knows my history and stands with me, even losing some other friends in the process" is a prime target for Abuse II: Abuse Comes Back But In A New Enlightened Way. Deciding to have solidarity with a former abuser is a very moral thing to do, but it's also a trait some abusers are great at warping for their own benefit. Again, I know I'm being unfair, but I keep seeing this happen. Sometimes the friend gets sucked into a narrative where they eventually blame the former victim and become increasingly protective. Other time they say very clear-eyed things but ultimately still end up physically or sexually or emotionally mistreated.
I guess my question is, you say you believe the abuser fundamentally changed, so what does that look like to you? Are you able to fully relax around people who've abused in the past? Abuse is the result of circumstances, but it's also a sort of skill; how do you trust people to never use that skill again?
Great things to be aware of, honestly, thanks anon for the nuanced and careful view.
I like your framing of abuse as a skillset rather than a type of person -- and it's a skill that a whole variety of people wield, including sometimes those who are identified by most not as abusers, but as crusaders for justice or even supposedly for victims' rights. Having been abused and having also learned to be a canny social manipulator, I do see abuse as a skill that gets taught in dysfunctional groups and family systems, and which we can all potentially fall back on when we're backed into a corner.
Knowing how to recognize the skills of abuse being utilized (and maybe even more importantly, how you feel when a person leverages certain tactics against you) is really important for self-preservation in general. Being friends with someone who has a known abuse history that they are explicit & contrite about, in some ways, puts you in a safer position than if you were interceding with a more covert abuser who uses such tactics under a banner of benevolence. But it's also true that many people who come to be known as abusers were initially known as charming, and right thinking, and moral -- and it's very possible for someone who has done abuse to present themselves as such but not mean it. We can't ever really know the full depths of someone else's heart and mind, nor do we have to -- we can look to their actions and the skills they use, particularly when they are frustrated or feeling attacked.
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If you wouldnโt mind, perhaps something where Jashin comes to check on Hidan and scares everyone in the Akatsuki that heโs real? I just picture him seeing Hidan as his son who is exasperating but lovable.
*a knock on the Akatsuki lair-door* Deidara: What the fuck, hm? It's like ten at night! Who the fuck is here at this hour? Sasori: Only one way to find out, brat; answer it. Deidara, pouting: But I'm all comfy here ... can't Tobi get it? He's closer to the door than me! Tobi: Leader says Tobi isn't allowed to answer the door any more after Tobi bought one hundred boxes from that nice little girl selling cookies ... Konan, sighing: Alright, alright; I'll get it. *Konan goes to answer the door and immediately shields her eyes as an intolerably bright flood of red light streams into the hideout* Tobi, in Obito voice: What the fuck?! Deidara, burying his face in the couch: What the hell is that thing?! Konan, eyes streaming, in a shaky voice: C-can I help you, S-sir? Person at the door, in a deep, booming voice: Sorry to disturb your evening; I was passing through the area and I wished to check on my son. Itachi: Son? Who's parent are you, exactly? I've never -- *Hidan comes into the room from his bedroom and immediately falls to his knees upon seeing who's at the door* Hidan, reverantly: Jashin-sama! I'm honored that you would bestow a visit upon your lowly servant! Kisame, angling himself so that he's covering Itachi: Holy crap, you mean all that Jashin stuff was REAL?? Hidan, still on his knees: Of COURSE he's real! What, did you all think I was just a psychopath going around killing people for no reason?! Everyone: Hidan: Jashin-sama, would you care to come in? I know our home is not worthy of your presence, but I could offer you a sacrifice. The blonde here is fairly useless and -- Sasori: Be that as it may, that brat is MINE, asshole. Try and sacrifice him and you AND your Lord will feel my wrath. Deidara, both terrified and swooning: D-damn, Danna ... Jashin: No need for that, my son. Come, let us go out into the night and I can witness my prodigy's talent's first-hand. *Hidan grabs his scythe off of the wall* Hidan: Later, assholes! *goes out the door with Jashin* Konan: Alright ... I'm going to need a cup of tea and about twelve hours of sleep to get over that one. Itachi: Indeed; I still can't believe that "Jashin" is REAL. All these years and -- *Kakuzu enters the room* Kakuzu: Has anyone seen the brat? He's kept me waiting long enough. Sasori: You're going to be waiting even longer ... your brat has gone off with his God. Kakuzu: ... Jashin? HE was here?? That fucking asshole ... Deidara: Wait; you knew he was real? Kakuzu: Of course I did. What, did you think I was just dating a psychopath that goes around killing people for no reason? Everyone: Kakuzu: *puts on his cloak* I'm going after them. God or no God, this is MY time with Hidan, and nobody's going to interfere with it. *walks out the door* Kisame: Goodness; Kakuzu really believes he can take on a God? Deidara: I happen to know that Kakuzu spent money, GOOD money, on a special late-night dinner to share with Hidan, hm. And with Hidan gone, Kakuzu is losing that money. So -- Tobi, in Obito voice: RIP Jashin. The others: *nod in agreement*
#ask#jashin#kakuhida#kakuzu x hidan#kakuzu#hidan#konan#tobi#obito uchiha#sasodei#sasori x deidara#sasori#deidara#kisame hoshigaki#itachi uchiha#naruto
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New family 2/?
First part:
โ ๏ธ WARNING โ ๏ธ
Fear, mention of vomit , characters being religious, curse words, mention of sexual assault, mention of dehumanization
--------------------------------------------
I was double fucked.
There we go again, me cursing for the second time while starting my story. I promise, I'll try my best for it to be the last time I start with that kinda sentence. Really.
It's just, if I though that what happened previously was bad then what happened later that day was literally hell. Well, yeah I can imagine worse (and believe me when I tell you what happened a few days later you will actually see far worse, but I can't spoil my own story) but it was still bad. Really bad.
Okay, some creeps that enjoy the company of giants would disagree that it was bad at all. But if you're not a giant-obsessed creep (sorry for calling some of y'all out) then you'll understand why it was so bad for me. Okay, back to the story.
As you might recall, I fained mare secounds before officially meeting my moms giant fiance and his sons. Yeah, great first impression. Dad would have been proud. He was just as awkward as me but this once I won with him on 'the worst first impression competition'. Well, I hope he saw this from heaven and laughed at me.
I suppose I though I would soon be 'reunited' with him, if you know what I mean.
C'mon, I can't be the only person that doesn't get why a giant would marry a human if they actually don't have any sick intentions! I mean, everything is really outta place, those kind of relationships have basically nothing to offer. I wouldn't say I'm a traditionalist, I'm bisexual myself so that is kinda impossible, but I'm not there for "mixed-sized" marriages if you know what I mean. They weren't legal (untill like 5 years previously to the story I'm telling you) for a reason!
Shoot, I'm talking about all those things again and you'll consider me a specist. Let's get back to what happened after I fainted.
I don't really know what happened mid-time, my mind was blank after I fainted all the way to the moment I have awoken. It was probably the first time I was actually so unconscious that I can't recall anything.
When I awoken, or more likely started to regain consciousness all I remember is the feeling of warmth. It was really, really warm.
It wasn't too good for me because I had puked what, like 10 minutes before that? Yeah, throwing up again wouldn't have turned out very well for me back then.
Once I finally opened my eyes I still felt dizzy. The whole world around me was moving and I promise you I heard my heart beating so loud that I though I was dying. Well, it wasn't exactly my heartbeat, I later found out.
For a few secounds I couldn't remember what I was doing before I fainted and I couldn't understand where was I. Everything was moving, like I was in a car, but far more.. enourmous.
Crap.
I forgot about those damn giants.
I tried to figure out where I was as I sat up. Whatever I was sitting on was squishy and warm. I tried to get my balance back as my eyes started to unblur. I heard my mom's voice.
"Zack! You're awake!" she yelled out with relief.
Oh yeah. Me and my mom were together. We were going to meet up with her boyfriend and his sons. Why did I forget about that? How did I?
I touched my head, feeling it hurt. What the hell was actually happening?
"Ethan, honey can you get me closer to Zack, please?" I heard my momma's voice once again, though it now wasn't directed to me.
Wait. Ethan? I know that name from somewhere... Oh, fuck.
"Sure, auntie, whatever you ask for" I heard a manly voice echo around me. It was so low and loud that it sounded like it was coming from some concert speakers rather than a real person. I was literally drowning in this voice that seemed to sound from every direction around me. As if I were somehow surrounded by it. Was this even possible?
"Just be careful Van, don't move too suddenly, Ethan is still learning how to manage an overly trusting human" I heard another manly, yet softer voice that somehow felt even more surreal. I was starting to understand what was happening. We were with the giants. Probably in a car. I was..
The same voice that spoke less than a secound ago let out a chuckle and I swear that once I started processing the words he had said I was about to freak out again when I found another reason to.
"Dad don't say that!" the voice around me echoed louder, making me feel my heart skip a beat. My head was spinning again "Auntie, don't listen to him. I work with human kids, I know just how to handle your kind, no need to worry"
The rest of the short conversation seemed blurred out to me. I was more concerned on a discovery I made. I finally figured out my surroundings.
I was half-sitting on the lap of a giant.
Ethan, specifically.
My eyes widden, my head screamed at me to freaking run away as far as possible, my legs felt groggy, my breathing fasten as I slowly raised my eyes, first looking at a enourmous stomach covered by a white comfy hoodie, then at a neck with visible veins (which creeped the heck out of me) and finally at a face of a gigantic beast named Ethan.
His hand was reaching out to Andrew, who was driving and my mom casually walked into his opened palm from the shoulder of her 'fiance'.
My teeth bit into my lower lip before I could let out a yelp at noticing how easily the freaking 60-ish foot tall dude handled my mama, my only treasure, only family.
My mom was soon lowered in my direction and believe me when I tell you, catching eye contact with a giant was the worse ever feeling for me back then.
Ethan smiled at me with those freaking fangs of a killer and I felt my whole stomach rushing up my throat.
If it wasn't for the fact that earlier I have literally vomited everything that was inside my body I would have surely puked at that moment.
I felt my freaking soul leaving my body as the gigantic dude-beast smiled at me and eyed me up and down.
"Hey, kid. I'm Ethan"
And I was back down.
Yep, I fainted again. I know shitty thing but damn, that's freaking terrifying! You wouldn't be much better facing a giant, I assure you!
Well, they didn't let me be unconscious (or dead at that point) for long enough, my mom rushed to me and shoke me awake.
"Sweetie! You fainted again!"
Yeah, no shit mom, I was on the lap of my probable future murderer that could literally do anything to me, I had nothing to be afraid of.
"I did..?" I mumbled, rubbing my face.
Don't call me a coward, I just wouldn't say something that rude to my mama, even if it was the truth. If you were raised properly by your mother you would know not to talk like that to her (unless she's a bitch, then go ahead).
"Maybe we should actually go to the hospital" said Andrew, looking at me for a secound and then back onto the road.
"No baby, I think he is just tired. Let's get him home and give him some time to rest and then we'll decide" my mom answered.
Ethan looked down at me with now a concerned expression but didn't say anything. He seemed conflicted. I don't know what was him problem but I appreciated that he didn't touch me nor say anything to me again directly.
Even though I appreciated not being touched, it didn't take my fear away, my body was still trembling and all I wanted was to hide from his gaze.
My mom worried sick and spoke some stuff to me for the rest of the ride, but if I'm being honest, I couldn't understand even a single word she said, I was too focused on the fact that I was on the lap of this enourmous young man and his eyes never left my body.
I actually felt a little sad (don't kill me mama) that I didn't just die at the airport. I wouldn't have had to be so close to giants.
Ethan had a conflicted and even sad look on his face but I couldn't actually figure out why. Maybe it was because he couldn't kill me in front of my mom? Would that even matter to him? Or was it his father or brother? I don't think they would've minded it. I was not actually sure why me and my mom were still alive but I was grateful to God that we were. I also prayed that my mom would escape somehow, with me preferably but my hope about her realizing we were in danger was long gone.
Before I knew how many miles we had traveled, the car stopped.
"And we're home" Andrew announced happily.
Ryan left the car, not saying a word, slamming the door so hard that not only me but also (surprisingly) my mom flinched.
Ethan turned his head around to face his brother but the two never made eye contact. That was weried. What was happening between those two? Okay, I was hella scared but drama is drama! As long as I'm not a part of it I'm a fan.
Andrew signed.
"He'll be over it soon, honey" the oldest giant said, looking at my mom, making a small, reassuring smile. Even though I was terrified of the giant and his voice made my head spin unpleasantly I felt some pity inside of my heart. Andrew was a tired dad with visibly some issues with Ryan. Yeah, he was my probable future murderer but I could still pity him a little.. right?
"I'm sure he will. He just needs some time to adjust, that's all" my mom answered her fiance. I was curious what was all of this about. I got so involved in trying to figure out the situation that for a secound I forgot that those were actually giants I was thinking about and being within their reach (do not remind me that I was on Ethan's lap, please, it was as scary as it could).
"I'll talk to him auntie, he can't be this rude to you both" Ethan added into the conversation. I didn't like how he called my mom 'auntie'. It sounded as if they had a relationship. And as if it was sincere. I hated it very much. I didn't like how they tricked my mom into believing that they had no sick intentions. She was my mom. Not their "auntie" nor "Van" (it's a nickname for Vanessa if you wanna know).
"We all need to adjust. It's not easy for neither of us. Sure, for me, your dad and you Ethan it might be easier but it's still hard to change our whole lives" my mom tried to sound assuring, petting the giants hand. I flinched as I realized what she was doing but I didn't say a word, I just held my trembling hands together with more pressure.
Ethan's eyes landed on me again. I swear he looked right into my soul. He didn't seem angry, more likely sad and surprised. What was he surprised about?
"We should be heading back home." Andrew spoke again, trying to look more positive, even though it was visible it was forced. That somehow made my heart ache. If he was a human I would have felt bad for him. But he wasn't a human.
Andrew opened his door. I realized that I couldn't get out of the car on my own. I paled again. My mom noticed and came closer to me, grabbing my arm for support as I stood up. Cold sweat flew down my spine. I didn't want to be touched by either of those giants. Abso-fucking-lutely not.
I closed my eyes tightly, expecting Ethan's enormous hands to grab me forcefully and carry me home as if I were a toy. My heart was beating faster, my breathing became shallower, my legs were barely able to keep my balance.
I felt a terrible pressure in my chest, that stinging feeling you feel when you're extremely anxious, as if something was crushing you from the inside.
I waited for a second, two, ten, but the grip never came.
All that happened was my mom speaking to me:
"Why are your eyes closed? Are you feeling worse again?"
I immediately opened my eyes and looked at her confused yet worried expression. My eyes then landed on Ethan who was now even more visibly shocked and sadden. What the hell was his problem exactly? Did I look this pitiful that even a giant pitied me? Dang.
"No mama, I'm f-fine.." my voice shook way more that I intended to reveal in front of the giant. I nervously moved form one leg to the other. I realized it was the first time I spoke in front of a giant in my normal volume voice. That one sentence mumbled before that was basically a whisper.
Ethan's gaze never left me as Andrew exited the car. My mom's as well, but her gaze was less intimidating.
I still don't really know how Ethan knew but I'm sure as hell he knew way more than my mom that I was scared. She acted as if I was just sick while he.. seemed to notice.
"Would it be okay if I took you in my open palm and took you back home?" the giant man spoke in a softer, slower and more quiet voice, his hands never moving an inch in our direction. It felt surreal.. was he really asking us about consent to being held? He could just grab us. He could do anything. He didn't need our consent. Even if we said 'no' he could still do anything he wanted. But somehow.. somehow the fact that he did ask was not only shocking but also.. slightly calming.
"Ethan, honey, what a silly question, of course you can!" My mom chuckled a little, smiling at the beast ahead of us.
"Sorry auntie, but I wasn't talking to you" he smiled softly at her, showing those fangs of his a little (which surprisingly didn't scare my mom but made me take a tiny step back) and then his eyes met mine and I felt uneasy, trapped even, my body stiffen "Zack, will you allow me to get you back home on my open palm? No pressure, kid"
My heart literally stopped for a moment. I was shocked he asked me that. I knew there was pressure - my mom, the giants, no other way into the house - but he pretended to care. To actually mind how I felt about that. He also never used the words 'hold' or 'grab' and he kept emphasizing that his hand would be open. I didn't know what game was he playing but he was doing it really well since I felt a little more easy about the whole situation.
I didn't want to be touched though. I hated that idea. I hated physical touch in general but being on a giants hand, totally dependent on him was even a thousand times worse. But what I was supposed to do? He would stop pretending to be polite once I said 'no'. Also, my mom would be mad. I didn't want my last memory of her to be anger.
"Zack, sweetie, Ethan asked you a question. Answer him, so we can get back home" my mom rushed me, though the giants eyes landed on her with dissaproval (though at first I mistaken it with anger, i must confess (I might have been a tiny little bit paranoid)).
"Y-Yeah.." I mumbled, or more likely yelped at Ethan's eyes returning to me. I could barely speak with him being this close.
He didn't seem convinced and wanted to say something but we heard Andrew calling from outside the car: "Are you coming or not?"
The giants eyes scanned me up and down again and then he slowly moved his right hand and lowered it onto his lower thigh, still leaving about 6 meters between himself and me. My mom rushed to get on him palm, while I stood there, biting my lower lip. The feeling in my chest returned. I looked up for support in my mom but her eyes didn't even meet mine. But Ethan's did.
"It's alright Zack, I promise I won't drop you, I know to handle humans" he spoke softly and quietly as if trying to calm down a startled animal. Was this what I was to him? A scared kitten? Humiliating.
My mom's eyes landed on me and she then looked as if she finally realized what was actually stopping me from getting on that palm. But it was as clear as day she would not reveal that I was scared of Ethan. I don't know why, wasn't it obvious?
"Ethan, honey he is just scared he will fall, that's all. Zack don't be silly and come here" she chuckled nervously as if trying to hide a secret. Good job mom, totally not suspicious and totally not making me look like a coward. Good job.
I took a deep breath and a unsteady step ahead. It was the first time in my life that my legs didn't obey to my will. Well, it wasn't exactly my will but I tried to actually pretend like I wasn't afraid.
I looked up and Ethan looked at me with those enourmous hazel eyes full of pity and emphaty.
I finally figured out why I and my mom were still alive.
They must have viewed us as pets.
I gulped at that though. I remembered how gentle and polite I was to my first hamster - exactly like Ethan was to me now. Great, I was going to be dehumanized for the rest of my supposably short life. Lovely.
"It's alright" he cooed again, as if talking to a baby animal. It really pissed me off. I am clearly not an animal! Like damn, I am an average (maybe even a little handsome) guy, not a pet.
I actually enjoyed the fact that I was more annoyed than scared at that moment, this emotion didn't stop my legs from moving at last.
It took me a moment but I actually did get on the giants hand. The fear returned to my body. I was pretty much petrified. This was freaking unnatural. I was standing on something so squishy, warm, unsteady, so alive. I hated being held by a giant. His long fingers creeped me out the most. They twitched from time to time.
The enourmous guy spoke again "Hang on, we're heading out".
He soon stood up and exited the car. I gulped, feeling all my organs moving. Saying I was uptight was an understatement. It was like an extreme rollercoaster, only without any protection, while standing up and with an unpredictable route. I couldn't help but let out another yelp as he started walking. I couldn't really keep my balance well, but my mom held me in place.
The ground was so far away that I knew if I fell down I would 100% die. My mom somehow wasn't bothered by that. Like, we get it mom, you're a crazy, giant-obsessed, old woman but freaking have some decency and don't be elated by being in danger! (Please don't let my mom find this blog, she will kill me).
My heart was pounding faster than it physically could. I promise you, I have had a heart attack. I tried not to move, just to ensure myself that I wouldn't die falling down.
It didn't help that Ethan's eyes LITERALLY never left me. Like, how creepy can you be?
Oh.
What if I was supposed to be HIS pet?
This would have made sense. Andrew would take mom, Ethan me and Ryan was pissed off at both of them because he didn't get a pet. It sounded realistic.
My mouth went dry at that though. What would he do to me? I have heard stories of humans being dehumanized and held as pets by giants. Some kept them in cages. Some forced them to be nude in those. They would feed them trash. They would force them not to speak. They would punish any disobedience very, very harshly.
My eyes became glossy, tears began to built in them.
What would be Ethan's punishment towards me?
This question made me almost break down. What would he do to me? Would he be the "nice owner" that treats pets with care? Or would he be cruel?
I remembered my friends story, when we were back in my school. He told us about his cousin who was kidnapped by a giant. I think I told you this story before. What if my fate was similar?
What if I would be abused mentally, physically and sexually?
Oh my dearest Lord God what if that was it? What if both of them were sexually deprived creeps? What if Andrew was 'dating' my mom, becouse that was what was in his mind? Was I about to become a victim of that? Would anyone even believe me? Would anyone save me? Would anyone save my mama?
I muffled my sob. I was fucking terrified.
Lord God, please hear my prayers and save us - I prayed - Please God, don't let them harm my mom. I don't care anymore what tortures I'll go through but please save mommy.
Before my mind could take me any further we entered the house - my new prison.
It was freaking enormous but I have to admit, it was also pretty. Those dudes were freaking affluent. I wiped my eyes, trying to hide my fear. My mom's eyes now met mine.
"Is everything okay sweetie?" My mom petted my shoulder. I smiled sadly at her. We were about to die but we were together. We were a team. As long as I was with her it was okay.
"Yeah" I mumbled, hugging her, fearing it would be the last time.
"Welcome to your new home!" Andrew announced.
Welcome to hell.
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Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it ๐ฅฐ Can't wait for y'all's questions and theories!
#g/t#giant/tiny#giant tiny#gt related#gt community#g/t concept#g/t writing#gt#g/t related#g/t angst#justme315 stories#gianttiny#gentle giant#giant#g/t community#g/t family#g/t fandom#g/t fearplay#g/t fluff#g/t ocs#g/t stories#g/t story#g/t writer#giant and tiny#giant foster au#giant male#giant men#giant tiny story#giant/tiny community#giant/tiny fandom
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'You confuse me'
To admit that that feeling was feeling was a shared one would be to admit vulnerability, or so Tรณfi thinks.
They'd cultivated the image of someone who carefully calculated things, that could hardly be surprised by things after a generous amount of centuries of life, after having spent a good while of those inside a battlefield, so to admit that a grieving woman, Magick or not, could not only surprise them but also cause them to show the worst of themselves would be...
...it wouldn't be ideal -it would be real, but it wouldn't exactly be what they wanted to project, nor what Menodora probably wanted to see.
So they smile, instead, try to shrug it all off.
It was a shame, but it was just the way things worked and the faster the accepted that, the faster they could move on to better things -the wounds would heal, the clothes stained in red and black (glamour covered and non-glamour covered blood, respectively) would get discarded, the fire-damaged floor and furniture replaced.
Life would go on.
"Regeneration is...almost fair when the opponent has a magic arsenal, I think" they say as they step forward and move a hand to absentmindedly touch the wound on their shoulder, feeling a sharp, albeit dulled, pang of pain when their fingertips touch the sides of the incision "this is as close to fair we will ever get"
That was, after all, the only reason why the Mjaunian war had continued for as long as it had: there was a certain balance to their abilities that had caused a stalemate-
-at least until...
Ah. No. They'd rather not think of it right now.
"The other you was grieving" they continue, moving their red-stained hand to the other side of their clothes, wiping away the blood then oh-so-carefully brushing away some loose strands of hair that had fallen unto Moon's face "A grief that is not yours to know, about something that is not yours to mourn"
It had taken causing a scene to distract her from it, but at least Tรณfi had accomplished their mission of reminding Moon that she still had other feelings she could and should focus on.
Anger was, more often than not, a good option.
'I'll pay for the damages'
"Do not" it might seem a petty thing, but... "I can deal with it myself, there is no need for you to worry about it"
That is equal parts an honour thing and a practicality thing: to accept her (Mjaunie's tax payer's) money would feel wrong, specially when they had been the one that had brought the whole thing upon themselves -and to have her stick around during the process of having the place repaired would raise a couple of eyebrows.
It was a good thing that Manors in The Woods were rather separated from one another and that most people were out at that time of day, really, had they chosen to start this whole...thing at another time then they would have surely had the cops (or the firemen) called on them.
'I fear my burning has burnt a bridge between us. I fear your sharp tongue had severed some ties before that.'
"Understandable" they reply, even if there was something inside them that still wanted to point out that the whole thing had started because of her, of her emotional state and how much they found it not only unbecoming but unacceptable.
But that would be like beating a dead horse.
"I do not particularly regret my words" they concede "but I do feel somewhat sorry about you feeling this -that- way"
It's contradictory but natural at the same time: loathing and love can coexist; They hate that sad, vulnerable side of her while they cling to the potential, to the daring and strong Moon, to the curious Diamonds, to the dutiful Menodora.
That is the kind of thing that happens when one of your best friends also happens to be one of your long-time oppressors -things get messy, positive and negative feelings constantly fight one another and one can't really tell which one will win.
'Whether it was an illusion of propriety and friendship, or was genuine, I don't believe it can be salvaged. Or at least the same'
"It-"
Was real. Surprisingly so.
But before they can say as much Moon's already laughing-sobbing and they are taking yet another step forward, searching for a physical origin to that.
"I should have ibuprofen somewhere in the kitchen" they offer, resting a hand on her shoulder as they lower their gaze to her stained hands and the way the dark purple seems...even darker now.
That must hurt.
'Our friendship was nice while it lasted'
"You came looking for help, yet I attacked you. If someone should be apologizing here, it is me"
But they aren't.
"Try and not linger too much on it, for it will not do you any good. What is really important now is getting you some water and something to relief the pain"
'I'm sorry I had to burn it'
It's...funny, yet sad, how she's defaulted to taking responsibility for everything that may go wrong, regardless of if any of it was her fault or not.
So Tรณfi offers her a soft, evidently guilty smile in return -because they knew full well that they were to blame for some of it.
"I was the one who did it. Who has done it time and time again" they reassure her "and I will do it again, as many times as necessary"
They'd willingly become her enemy time and time again if that meant making her a little stronger, a little more resilient.
@menodoramoon
genfรธdte sandheder || Tรณfi & Moon
#t: Genfรธdte sandheder#c: Moon#tw: mentions of stabbing#tw: mentions of blood#tw: mentions of fire#tw: mentions of death#tw: gracious descriptions of stab wounds
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made this last month and I completely forgot about it! It's been a while (and I mean a WHILE) since I've drawn springtrap and it's nice to finally be able to get the face shape down after years :]
Normal coloration
#wow actually me talking#My art#Rendered art#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#movie william afton#Springtrap#Sorta?? This is technically before he becomes springtrap#Still so mind boggling that the fnaf movie exists#Like I still can't believe that's a real thing. that happened#Crazy
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rewatching fantasy high (freshman year) and tbh i don't think i appreciated kristen applebees enough as a character when i originally watched it years ago. like i kinda get the feeling that her arc was meant to be more drawn out but got speedrun by her literally dying and meeting god in the first two episodes and getting SLAMMED into that crisis of faith head-first, and it honestly makes her into both a VERY FUN character to watch and a fascinating one
#shoutouts to ally beardsley for the characters they create fr (has only seen like 3 of them)#i also appreciate that kristen's crisis of faith is not fueled by 'god might not be real'#it is instead 'god is real and he SUCKED and also the community that raised me to believe in him ALSO SUCKED'#bc really whether or not god is real doesn't really matter. it's whether the people who act in said god's name are#meaningfully doing good or harm#and also if your god is a frat bro who can't handle being asked why good things happen to bad people that's probably not a fantastic god#jort post#dimension 20#fantasy high#the whole fantasy high cast is so strong honestly. i think fig's still one of my faves (she was my fave on my first watch)#we love a punk rock bard who's really bad at pretending she doesn't care about her friends#and also loves both her cool devil dad and her cringefail elf dad#might post more as the rewatch goes on btw i have thoughts
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Throwback to when someone referred to me as the matpat of transformers
#very few will remember this because it really happened so casually and also... almost 2 years ago now#in the era I like to refer to as this blog's prime#on a little post someone tagged me in#and I was such a champ about it. I was so normal and did not make a scene#but I think about it at least once a month#it really was so crazy. what did I even do#I still don't know if I should be offended or not. I know it was written to place me in high regards#but that somehow made it hit so much harder#it's the type of thing that happens and you gasp and talk about it in discord but it doesn't feel that crazy. and then you look back and go#I can't believe that was a real thing that was said to me#I can't believe.. if only for a moment.. that is how I exist in someone's mind#Mac mumbles#the titles I was given in 2021... the range#chill laid back guy#bug in a jar anon wants to study#uptight annoying prick#insane individual trying to pass off as a chill laid back guy#<- favourite one btw#and lastly#the matpat of transformers#what an era
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God... Steven Universe is so good
#el speaks#steven universe#I finally sat down and rewatched/caught up with it!#and finally watched the movie!#next... FUTURE!#I was still basically caught up with all of it but I wanted to see it all on order#I can't believe the first season was 52 episodes!!#I already know some stuff that happens in Future but I don't care#it's ok to still watch something even if you know things!#I was also fueled with spite to watch this because of... some random person no one has ever heard of at all that really hated this show..#and Rebecca Sugar for some unholy reason (gee thank goodness we don't know who that is at aaaallllll)#;)#seriously though if you don't like something or utterly despise it that's ok! just don't be a jerk about it! or flat out lie about it!!!#please and thank you!#I've learned... I guess you can say I changed? Huh? Get it! It's like that's the whole point of SU!#sorry for the mini rant#I've just always been a fan#but I never felt like I was a real or close enough fan because I couldn't always watch it... apparently I've kept up with it pretty well#I love this show so much#it really has inspired me (and one of my stories that I keep close to my heart)#seriously... it's a little shameless at times... if it wasn't for SU idk if I'd all these characters and story (maybe but just different)#sorry again just so nostalgic
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one of the most frustrating feelings in the world is when I read a fic or something I really like, and I want to leave a comment or make some gesture of appreciation, but I cannot come up with a single word. the lone rat in my brain is going absolutely ham on a soundboard, and I somehow cannot articulate a single ounce of that to anyone else. sometimes, sometimes, I can at least muster up a "<3!!!!!", but sometimes even that?? is out of reach?? and I really don't quite understand why. what do you mean typing out a heart is beyond me.
#and then sometimes i type out a whole sentence!! and then some wretched beast in my brain goes โwow๐you sound *real sincere* (lying)โ#โwhy don't you just tell them you hate both them and their work to their face sometime. that would come across better๐โ#and then i delete the sentence. because i can't find a way to word it that actually feels genuine to my stupid idiot brain.#yes i know that this is the world's tiniest violin and that people will be happy to receive even low effort comments and/or emojis#but. knowing and actually internalizing are two different things.#i've been getting a bit? better at commenting? but i am still Not Great.#not trek#this also happens when people give me gifts except i'm Also bad at facial expressions so in my head i'm like โ<3!!!!! hooray!โ#but the person looking at me just sees :| โi like itโ and they're like โbut do you really???โ and then don't believe me when I say Yes.
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away ๐๐๐
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more โnormallyโ#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion ๐ญ and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch ๐#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! ๐ญ)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet ๐ญ๐ญ#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp ๐#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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#love seeing people disguising their opinion cofcof racism cofcof about vini through their words of not liking him for whatever reason#real did absolutely right by not flying the team put tk that clownery because of the ridiculous mocking that is happening with him#and im not even getting started on the whole act thing because apparently chanting racist chants is something to look up to according to#i don't believe you should like every single black person in the world but people need to get their asses on and acknowledge wt#wtf goes on on football regarding racism and xenophobia because is showing#the racists are being shown and i have to pray for days where people get their heads out of their asses and see things for as they are#one thing is disliking someone because of whatever reason and another thing is criticizing everything because of your rooted racism.#many reasons of why people don't like him IS because he is black and because he doesn't bend his head like racists expect black people to d#he is not obedient he is not shutting his mouth and affirming with his head because a racist person expect him to#and that bothers A LOT of people because how dare him how dare he not be on his place where my people told him he belong#i hope he continues to be himself and that he gets circled around by people that he can actually count on because he deserves to#many other players are cunts they are son of bitches and dont get HALF the criticism he gets and i hope people learn how to do the maths#because once again we are supposed to solve a problem we didn't create and god forbid we say out loud what is happening.#also go read the fucking newspapers and their disgusting reasons for this. and if you still can't catch on#i hope you like evolving as a human because you are needing some.#fuck this shit not even on my birthday i can have peace as a black person there's always a fucking thing happening to ruin your day#i hope every racist burns btw slowly consumed by the flames so they can see their miserable life before their eyes
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RAYLLUM S4 MEME:ย quotes [1/4] 4x03, โbreathtakingโ
#rayllum#rayllumedit#tdpedit#s4 meme#s4#pining!rayla#arc 2#arc 1#parallels#like come on could i Really choose anything else#graphics#personal fave#my edits#a god tier quote i can't believe is real#me kicking my feet and giggling rewatching s1-s3 knowing that this is what's rattling around in her head#HE'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HER LIKE COME ON. COME ON#and he has done nothing but ice her out since she got back and she's still heart eyes supreme like SHE COULD NOT BE DOWN WORSE
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