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ppersonna · 4 years

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make me - myg | m

strawberries on a summer evenin'. baby, you're the end of June. i want your belly and that summer feelin', getting washed away in you - watermelon sugar, harry styles

↳ summary- an ordinary sleepover with your best friend turns into anything but ordinary, thanks to your ridiculously loud neighbors above you.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+ / nc17

↳ word count- 4.4k

↳ pairing- yoongi x reader

↳ genre- pwp lol, smut, fluff, somehow the dirtiest fluff i have ever written bc there’s some depraved shit in here

↳ warnings- penetrative sex, oral sex (m/f receiving), unprotected sex (dont...pls), dirty talk, rough sex, degrading talk, dom/sub undertones, bratty backtalk

↳ a/n- yooooo dawg this... was fun. i hope you enjoy!! ive been in my yoongi feels lately uwu. feel free to comment, message, dm, whatever u want babes. i love you!

Yoongi thinks if he has to hear your upstairs neighbors fuck for another minute longer he might actually go crazy.

It’s been hours now. The girl is screaming like a feral cat and the man is doing a terrible impression of a porn star, trying his best to talk dirty but really just calling the howling banshee awful names.

If only his dick would be as annoyed as his brain.

He knows you’re awake next to him too. The steady rise and fall of your breathing changed when the bad porn above you began—now it’s faint and too quick to indicate anything but your wakefulness.

“Ohhhhh oppa!” The girl above you screams.

It’s finally what breaks down the silence in your bedroom. At her wanton sound, you and Yoongi are unable to stop yourselves from bursting into laughter.

Yoongi’s stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Tears form at the corners of his eyes as you make the bed rumble from the force of your combined laughter.

“God, do they think that sounds hot?” You finally ask after settling down to mere giggles.

Yoongi shrugs and wipes away his tears. “Apparently. He must like the way she sounds like a dying cat.”

His comment sends you into a spiral of laughter again, and you’re clinging to your chest as it heaves with exertion.

Yoongi is your best friend for a reason. No one makes you laugh as hard as he does. No one understands you the way he seems to be able to—it’s almost intuitive the way he can understand your feelings.

You live for your weekly sleepovers. You drink wine, watch terrible horror films, gossip about your other friend’s love lives, and fall asleep in your bed together. It’s never been anything but blissful.

Until recently…

When your heart decided it would beat too fast around him. When your brain decided to spin and weave stories of romance with your best friend.

Now, you can’t hardly think about anything else around the dirty blonde haired boy. It’s overwhelming to all of your senses when you see him, feel him near you. You want to kiss him, to love him, to tear his clothing off.

Which makes lying in your full size bed while the neighbors above you fuck and attempt to act out their wildest fantasies—badly—so much harder than usual.

“God,” Yoongi sighs and tugs the blanket up to his chin. “Does she even like it or do you think she’s faking it?”

You wrinkle your nose in disgust. “Ugh, I know I wouldn’t be into it.”

“You don’t like dirty talk?” He teases with a poke to your stomach. It makes an eruption of nerves go off in your chest.

“Oh, no I do. But that’s not dirty talk,” you shrug. “He’s just being mean. There’s no sensuality underneath it.”

He hums and lays back down to stare at the ceiling.

“Give me an example,” he asks of you. It makes your cheeks flush red and you’re thankful for the darkness in your room to provide you cover.

“Um, well,” you cough awkwardly. “He’s saying shit like ‘you fuck anything don’t you?’ which, maybe she’s into degradation, but I’m not. Not that extreme.” Your explanation sounds lame, but you continue anyway. “I prefer to hear things like ‘this slutty little pussy belongs to me’. Possessive and hot at the same time without being too...uhh...hurtful.”

Yoongi feels his cock rise with piquing interest. There’s a nagging guilt about thinking of his best friend this way, and a tinge of jealousy thinking someone who isn’t him has said that to you.

He feels his throat dry up, and you wring your hands nervously on the blanket. The moaning above you doesn’t stop, and you can hear the telltale sound of flesh slapping on flesh, indicating they’ve commenced into penetration and it makes your body throb with annoyance, and with want.

There’s moments when a louder slap echoes through the room—it’s clear the man is slapping her somewhere—and she whines desperately. Your core starts building that familiar heat, a slickness gathering you can’t stop. You press your thighs together tight and squirm as subtly as you can. You pray Yoongi doesn’t notice.

Yoongi, however, does notice. He breathes a sigh of relief internally knowing he’s not the only being affected by the commotion above. But he doesn’t understand the meaning behind it. For all he knows, you’re just turned on because—well, because it’s sex and it’s loud and who wouldn’t be a little turned on? You’re likely not at all aroused by him, or the thought of him. Right?

Another slap echoes through the room and you can tell by the way the girl gasps that her partner slapped her in the face.

“Damn,” you shiver. Yoongi turns to peek at you through the darkness.

“You into that?” He asks curiously. “Face slapping?”

It’s hard to swallow for a moment—it feels like you’re trying to down a boulder.

“Uh, yeah,” you whisper. “Yeah, I like pain.”

Yoongi doesn’t reply and it makes you fear you’ve overstepped the line. You’ve gone too far off the ‘best friend’ track and the whole train is about to de-rail.

You’re opening your mouth to apologize for taking it too far when Yoongi finally speaks.

“Fuck it,” he sighs. “You want to fuck louder and establish dominance?”

The world stops turning. You’re sure that gravity doesn’t exist anymore and the theory of relativity has been proven wrong.

Did Min mother fucking Yoongi, your best friend of over twenty years, just offer to have sex with you to...establish dominance over the neighbors above you attempting to make a cheap porn?

He’s looking at you normally, but there’s a glimmer in his eye that says more. It says he wants you. Your stomach twists in on itself. There’s no way, there is no actual plausible way that the man beside you feels the same way about you as you do.

“You want to have sex with me?”

Yoongi’s cheeks turn pink and he looks away for a minute.

“I also want to date you,” he murmurs.

If you thought the world ended before, you’re sure this is the fiery explosion that brings a new earth into life with a bang.

The noises from upstairs interrupt the romantic moment with a scream, a guttural howl from the man, and then muffled whispers and sighs.

“What do you say we keep them up all night too?” His mouth turns to a smirk as he awaits your reply.

“Yeah,” you nod as you throw the blankets off you. “Fuck those guys, lets show them what real kinky sex looks like.”

Yoongi’s eyes turn feral as he works his eyesight down your body. Your normal sleepwear outfit of a tank top and shorts looks like lingerie to him now and he’s salivating at the way he can see the curve of your breasts, and the press of your hard nipples against the fabric.

You’re throwing yourself onto Yoongi’s body in an instant, pinning him down to the bed and pressing your lips to his. You waste no time in waiting for him now that you know—now that you’ve heard with your two ears that Min Yoongi not only wants to fuck you, but date you as well. No use wasting any more time—the time for action is now.

The kiss is hot and Yoongi’s hands falter for a moment in surprise before he’s coming to his senses and tugging at your tank top quickly to pull it off your body. His hands feel hot on the bare skin of your back, rubbing at your spine and up to your shoulders. It makes you shiver, and you slide your tongue into his mouth to explore the heat inside.

His hands navigate forward to cup your breasts, fingers toying with your nipples—pinching and pulling and rolling between the pads of his fingers. It has you keening into his touch and grinding down on his basketball-shorts-covered cock.

Yoongi pulls away from you and pulls at a nipple harshly, which makes you gasp out loud.

“It’s real cute how you think you’re in charge right now,” he points out. “Real fucking cute. It’s gonna make me almost feel bad for punishing you.”

You’re sure your soul is going to leave your body at hearing your best friend’s sexy baritone voice verbalize your dirtiest fantasies. If this is how you react now…, may God have mercy on your poor little pussy.

Yoongi thinks he’s possibly never been harder than he is right now. His best friend, best girl, is sitting atop his boner and he’s twisting your pretty nipples so hard they’ll surely turn purple soon. You sound so sweet when you whine, and you’re starting to whine louder as he continues the pressure on your tits.

“You thought you could take control, didn’t you?” He asks, slipping further and further into the dominant act. He loves this, thrives off it. He didn’t think you’d ever be into it—none of the girls he’s dated before have—and he’s thrilled he doesn’t have to hide this depraved part of himself.

You nod and bite your lip, wincing as he tugs once more on a nipple before letting go.

“Cute,” he sighs. “But wrong.”

In an instant, he flips you two over and he feels his heart and cock swell at the sight of your sweet eyes widening at the quick change.

“This feels better, don’t you think?” He asks. You nod and he shakes his head. “Answer me, baby doll. You’re already about to get punished. You wouldn’t want to make me not let you cum, would you?”

The fear in your eyes increases and you clear your throat to talk.

“No sir, I don’t want that.”

Yoongi nearly moans. Hearing you call him sir, being underneath him—it’s his wet dreams come to life.

“Then tell me,” he instructs. “Tell me you need me in charge.”

You’re dying to be a brat, really wanting to pull Yoongi completely out of his shell, show him the full extent of what he can do to you. Plus, you really wanna give your neighbors a show—a taste of their own medicine, don’t you?

“What if I don’t want to?” You tease.

Yoongi’s grin turns wider and his eyes sparkle with knowing. He’s a through and through brat-tamer, and by the end of the night you’ll be crying for forgiveness.

“Little tease,” he growls as he leans down to latch his mouth on your abused nipple.

You gasp out loud, and it turns into desperate mewling as his teeth nibble and pull. You’ll be bruised up for days, surely. He sucks hard, pulls on it roughly and bites with meaning. You just know your panties are completely soaked.

“Talking back to me, huh? You think that’s going to get you where you want to go tonight, little girl?”

He turns his attention to your other nipple, eyes peering into yours as you struggle to answer with the sizzle of pain in your breast.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You send back with a shake of your hips under him.

The growl he delivers around your nipple and the quick bite makes you yelp.

“I think I should shut that loud mouth of yours up.”

You smile in response and his fingers tug down your shorts. You lift your hips and allow him to pull the clothing off and you’re left in your slicked up panties.

“Oh yeah?” You retort. “You gonna shut me up with that fat cock?”

Yoongi visibly shivers. His spine tingles deliciously for minutes after the hair on his neck settles. He’s dreamed of you like this, under him and begging to be put in your place. And now, here you are. And he can’t wait to make it a reality. He’s even forgotten about the loud neighbors. It’s now just all about you.

“I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Dirty little slut so horny to get her mouth on my cock.”

Yoongi allows a finger to trail down your clothed slit, and he outwardly groans at how wet you are. You’re unable to hold back your whimpers of need—he’s so close to where you need him most and where you’ve dreamed of having him.

“You talk a big game for someone who’s drenched before I’ve even done anything,” Yoongi says with a smirk.

Your legs tremble as he pulls your panties to the side to expose your drenched folds. He dips a finger in and touches your clit. You moan in unison—he’s captivated by the heat and slick, you’re feeling air escape your lungs with every swirl of his finger.

“Y-Yoongi,” you whine. He tsks and pulls his finger out.

“That’s not my name right now.” His hands start to slide your panties down and your stomach leaps with excitement.

“Sir, please.”

“Now you want to be my good girl?” He asks with a chuckle. “Where’s my mouthy little brat who wants my cock to shut her up?”

He leans back on his heels and watches you eye him. You’re nearly bursting at the seams. You’re naked while he remains completely clothed and while you’d normally feel exposed and vulnerable, all you feel is white hot heat. You’re burning for Yoongi, for him to do what you’ve dreamt he could do.

“Why don’t you show me what that sweet mouth can do?”

He maneuvers to stand at the side of the bed, dick straining against the mesh of his shorts. He waits for you to sit up, which you wordlessly obey. His cock is now eye level with you, and your mouth feels dry. You’ve dreamt about this dick, about what it looks like and how it would feel in your hand, inside you. The fact that you’re here now, about to find out all your secret fantasies is heady.

Your hand rubs at the straining material, over the thickness of his cock. He feels big, and you give it a squeeze which makes him hiss.

“Still being a tease,” he sighs with faux disappointment. “You’re in a precarious position to be such a little cocktease. Might need to fuck that right out of you.”

It makes you whimper—his direct threats sounding like smooth promises going straight to your core.

“I’d like to see you try.”

Yoongi growls and grabs a bit of your hair, tugging your head back to look at him in the eyes.

“I think you should shut this fucking mouth up.” His voice is dark, and his eyes glow with lust.

A grin pulls over your face as you gaze sweetly up at him—his hand still gripped tight in your hair.

“Make me.”

Yoongi is silent for a moment as he stares at you in wonder—his beautiful girl, so rebellious and yet so willing to comply.

“I fucking love you, you little fucking slut.”

Yoongi forces his shorts down and grips your chin, holding it hard in his hand.

“Now choke on my fucking cock.”

You open your mouth complacently and he wastes no time in shoving his entire length down your throat mercilessly.

It’s hot. It feels like fucking heaven. Your lips wrap around him and suction and he can feel your gag reflex straining against his tip at the back of your throat. Yoongi thinks his entire spine is tingling with desire for you and the way you take his cock so well has his toes curling.

You didn’t even get to have a good look at Yoongi’s cock before it was shoved into your throat, but now that it’s there you don’t even need to see it to knows he is fucking thick and long. It stretches your mouth and you know your pussy will be taken to its limit when he finally buries himself inside you where he rightfully belongs.

“Can’t talk back now, can you?” He teases as he begins to fuck your throat. “Mmmm shit—, you suck my cock so fucking good.”

His words are nothing but encouragement for you and you fight back the growing discomfort in your throat and allow him to use it as he pleases. Tears form in your eyes and slip down your face at the exertion and you soon feel his balls slap at your chin. You’ve only fantasized of being used like this by Yoongi, and now it’s actually fucking happening. You’ll be damned if you don’t give him the suck of a lifetime.

Yoongi thinks he’s staring into heaven as he fucks your tight mouth and watches as your eyes fill with tears. They leak out and he knows you’re loving this just as much as he is by the palpable enthusiasm you accept his cock with.

“Look at my little brat,” he coos mockingly. “Not so big and brave now, are you? Not with daddy’s cock wrecking your hot mouth.”

He picks up the pace and the sounds turn disgustingly lewd. It’s a wet, slurping sound as Yoongi forces his cock in and out of your drooling mouth. Saliva drips onto the bed below you as you take him all, never given a chance to breathe or swallow. Yoongi takes and you selflessly give. You’d allow the man to split you in half—and you’re actively hoping he does just that tonight.

Suddenly, Yoongi is pulling out of your mouth and leaving you panting and keening for more. He grips his cock with a fist. He strokes himself roughly and looks down at you.

“Gonna cum, baby girl. Fucking beg for it.”

Your hands grip at his thighs and you’re breathing hard to catch up on the oxygen you were denied. But it doesn’t stop you from doing exactly as he orders.

“Please, daddy. Please cum on my face. Let me taste your cum, I want to know what you taste like. Cum on me. Mark me, daddy.”

Yoongi whines and increases the speed of his pumps. His mouth falls open as he watches you pout so sweetly and wait so eagerly for his seed on your face. He wants to see your entire body covered in his cum and he plans on ensuring that happens sooner rather than later.

“My eager little bitch. Wants her daddy to mark his territory.”

You nod, tongue sticking out and wagging like a dog for his cum.

“Please, daddy. Make me messy.”

It seems to be the secret password to Yoongi’s climax. Your desperation, your eager position, the way you beg so sweetly. It sends him right over the edge and he cries out as his cock pulses white stripes over your pretty face.

He wishes he could take a picture of the way his cum covers your face. He’d make it his background photo so he could see it every day, show everyone around him the gorgeous little whore he gets to cum on every night.

“Shit, babygirl,” he groans as he attempts to catch his breath. “Look at you.”

You smile as your tongue retreats into your mouth and you savor the drops that landed on your tongue. Your eyes close in bliss as you enjoy the flavor, noting it tastes salty and sweet and you can’t wait to reacquaint yourself with the taste over and over again.

“Lay back,” he orders as he pushes his shorts all the way off.

In his haste to fuck your throat, he only pushed them halfway. He slips out of them and pulls his shirt off before he joins you on the bed.

“Let me drink this cunt.”

You whimper in agreement as you press your back in to the pillows and spread open your legs.

“Please, daddy.”

He grins as he lowers himself to lie between your legs. He blows on it, cool air pushing over your folds chilling you.

“Fuck,” he sighs. “Greedy little cunt wants it all, hm?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“So compliant for me now,” he whispers as he kisses your thighs. “I like it when you behave.”

He kisses in further, and soon he’s using his fingers to spread apart the folds and pressing the flat of his tongue to your clit and laving it over the aching nub.

“Holy shit,” he groans as he comes up and sucks his tongue back into his mouth. “Sweetest little pussy.”

You can’t reply, the capability to speak has left you now. He buries his face back into your cunt and gets to work. His tongue starts flicking against the bundle of nerves and then dips down to fuck into your channel. He works his tongue around you and your back arches off the bed and your heels dig into the mattress. You seek purchase in his hair with your hands, digits gripping at the blonde locks between your thighs.

Yoongi groans and moans into your cunt, and soon he slips two fingers in to fuck you roughly.

He pulls his lips away and licks his tongue over them to collect the slick that lingers. His fingers maintain a quick pace and he drinks in the sight of you gasping at the stretch.

“Yeah, look at you take my fucking fingers. Such a wanton little whore for me.”

He slides another finger in to join, then another, and it makes your cries echo loudly around the room. He suddenly remembers the neighbors above you and smirks. He pulls his hands from you, making you keen with desire and desperately beg for more.

“Daddy! Please, I need..” you gasp. “Need you!”

He pulls himself up to join your hips together and rolls his them against each other. His cock rubs against your soaked pussy and he bites his lip at the feel of it getting slicked up.

“I want you to be nice and loud for me, baby girl,” he demands sweetly in your ear as he licks the shell. He notes your shiver and smirks, before kissing your ear lightly. “Tell those mother fuckers upstairs who’s going to take you to Hong Kong.”

“Yes, daddy,” you agree.

It only takes the consent to leave your lips for Yoongi to spear his cock into you. He’s not slow or gentle, he pushes it into the hilt immediately.

Yoongi meant to start a pace, to begin fucking into you mercilessly, but he’s frozen inside your tight heat. You feel so good, so fucking tight and warm and wet for him. It’s better than heaven, and surely better than any pussy he’s been inside before. Maybe it’s because it’s you, and no one else.

“Fuck!” He gasps. “Holy shit I could cum right now.”

You whine and move your hips desperately.

“Fuck me daddy! Fuck me hard, please! Use me like your little cock sleeve.”

Yoongi bites his lip and feels his cock pulse.

“Shit, you’ve got a dirty fucking mouth,” he grits. “Let’s see if you’ve got a dirty little pussy too.”

He sets a pace, desperately wills his cock not to cum yet. He wants to fuck you senseless, until your eyes roll back in your head. He’s gonna make sure you get off on his cock before he comes close to his end.

Yoongi grips your chin again, like he did at the beginning as he fucks into you roughly.

“Look at you take my fucking cock so deep,” he bites out. “Your cunt is so fucking desperate for my fat cock, isn’t it? You need me to fuck some discipline into you.”

You’re nearly screaming now at the force of his thrusts. He’s pushing all the way into you with each push and his balls smack against your ass deliciously. You’re babbling, words unable to make sense as he fucks all the brain cells out of you.

“Dumb little cock slut,” he whispers as he leans down to suck a nipple into his mouth and bite at it before releasing it “Little brat turns into a perfect little fuck hole for me, so fucking good for me.”

“Yes, y-y-yes baby! S-so close!”

Yoongi’s had you near the verge since his oral, and now with his punishing pace and power in his driving hips, you’re hovering over the edge.

His hand drops down to rub at your clit, a circular motion that has you gasping and screaming his name.

“That’s fucking right,” he breathes. “Tell them, baby. Tell them who’s got the best fucking cock. Tell them who fills this pussy up so well.”

You’re eager to comply.

“You, daddy! Fuck! You feel so fucking thick in me. I need your cum, please, please. Cum on me.”

Yoongi feels his balls tighten impossibly--he knows he’s seconds away from an explosive orgasm.

“Cum on my cock, baby girl. Let me feel you cream my fucking cock. Wanna see you all over this fat dick.”

His free hand tugs at a nipple and pulls it punishingly, tugging it so far it pulls the skin around it. Your screams light up the room, echoing and bouncing off the walls and surely traveling up to your neighbors bedroom.

“Yoongi! Fuck! I’m cumming!” You warn, a millisecond before your world crashes around you.

Your cunt squeezes his cock so tightly that it causes his hips to stutter in their pace. It grips him tight, angry like a squeezed fist and Yoongi feels the air get sucked out of his lungs as his climax follows directly after yours. He didn’t even have a chance to pull out--he’s emptying his load into your womb and whining at the feeling of your pulsating walls milking every single drop greedily.

It’s several minutes later that you’re both caught up to normal breathing and resting beside each other on the bed. The room is silent, save for little pants and breaths, and Yoongi reaches over to lace his fingers into yours and hold your hand tightly.

“You wanna date me?” He asks sweetly, as if his cum isn’t dripping out of your cunt as he speaks.

It makes you laugh. It’s so classically Yoongi that you can’t help but to laugh.

“Yes, daddy, I want to date you. I want to date you every single day.”

He pulls you into his embrace and kisses at your forehead.

“Maybe we should send your neighbors some flowers for getting us together,” he teases.

As if on cue, the all too familiar sound of skin slapping against skin and screeching moans comes from upstairs and plays through your apartment like an unwanted jukebox.

“God damn it, our plan backfired.” he grumbles. “I think we turned them on.”

You press your sticky, sweaty body against him and kiss at his lips. Your hand sneaks down to his cock and grips it again, begging it to come back to life.

“Shall we try again, then?”

#bts smut #bts fic #bts yoongi #bts suga #yoongi #yoongi smut #bangtanarmynet #heartsforbts #minthlynet #ficswithluv #ksmutclub #bangtan smut

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hangovercurse · 3 years

Text

Studio Nights

You and Kells spend time in the studio together.

Part ii of Losing a Friend

Colson x Reader

Warnings: cursing

A/N: the first few parts are a lot of fluff, building relationships and such but soon we’ll get into the real angst 😊

Word Count: 1501

i < ii < iii

September 2016

You had hoped that after 3 months of hanging around the guys, you would have gotten used to their constant energy. But sitting in the studio, you realized you might never get used to it.

Lazily you spun yourself around in the rolling chair at the monitor, Kells sitting next to you with his back to the desk. “Dawg, I’m telling you, you were wasted as fuck,” his loud voice rang through your ears, making the headache you were nurturing even worse.

The boys were having a conversation about something that had gone on in the club the other night with Rook, who was arguing that it wasn’t as big of a deal as Kells was making it out to be. To be fair, Rook was that drunk, but it really wasn’t all that funny.

You tuned them out as best as possible, turning back to the computer and looking at the track again, sighing at the thought of hearing it blare through the headphones. As Slim, Baze, and Rook continued arguing, Kells turned to you.

He seemed to look right through you, taking in the bags under your eyes and the slight frown on your face. “Hey,” he spoke quietly, “you okay?”

You gave him a small nod, placing the headphones over your ears with a fake smile. His hand reached out and tugged them gently off your head. “Seriously, you look like shit.”

Rolling your eyes, you gave a monotone answer, “thanks, Kells. You sure know how to treat a lady.” You let out a dry chuckle as he continued to stare at you, a teasing pout on his face, “I’m fine, I just have a headache, it’s nothing.”

He swiveled his chair so that his front was facing your side, reaching out and turning your chair so you could be face to face. His knees bumped up against your own lightly, “we can take a break if you want, pick back up tomorrow.”

You shook your head, “I’m fine, there’s just a lot of noise right now, but it’s nothing. I just want to finish this song; we’ve been working on it for way too long now.” You tried to play off the throbbing in your brain as Slim and Baze laughed obnoxiously a few feet away from you.

He rolled his eyes, “You are the one that keeps editing it.” His tone was teasing, but you couldn’t help but agree. There was something about the track that just wasn’t right yet. “But it can wait another day, go home. Or I’ll send these fuckers home.”

You chuckled, “aren’t you guys technically at home?” He sent you an unamused look, making you pout, “look, I can’t figure out what it is, but something needs to be fixed.”

He let out a breath through his nose, imitating laughter, “I know, you keep saying that. And I trust you, but you’re not going to figure it out if you’re in a mood.”

A glare came over your features, directed at him, “I am not in a mood.” You shoved him playfully, his chair spinning slightly, “I’m just in pain. My head feels like it’s eating itself.”

“That’d make a good lyric,” he commented with a smirk, shoving you back. “Go home.”

You smacked his hand away lightly, “don’t tell me what to do. Now let me work.” You tried to turn back to the computer while placing the headphones back over your ears, but Kells just spun you back towards him.

“How about you let me listen to it for once,” his tone was playful, but you couldn’t help but gape at the audacity.

You handed him the headphones, “I have been trying to get you to do that for the past 3 hours!” He chuckled, placing the speakers over his ears, and pressing play. “Is this what it takes to get you to work? My pain?” you teased halfheartedly.

Truthfully, Kells had a way of distracting you from whatever happened to be bothering you, including your headache. It was one of the many reasons you liked being around him so much.

He nodded his head to what you assumed was the beat, making you giggle lightly. He paused the song midway, taking off the headphones and frowning. “What if we tried carrying the initial guitar riff through at that little middle part.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning to the computer and fidgeting with the track to add the raw guitar into the space. You didn’t notice, but you and Kells were very closely huddled around the computer.

The other guys in the room, however, did take notice. Slim elbowed Rook, pointing over in your direction as you and Kells cracked lighthearted jokes and worked on the song together.

Rook let out a chuckle that was lost on your ears as Baze quietly teased, “I give it two months, max.”

The younger boy shook his head, “hell naw, you think Kells is gonna wait that long?”

Baze flicked Rook in the head, “that’s why I said max, dumbass.”

Rook shoved the older one, starting a small war between the two of them. Slim rolled his eyes, speaking over the two’s fighting, “she’s way too smart for that, it’ll take way longer for her to come around to that.”

After another 15 minutes of you and Kells working intensely on fixing the music and the guys teasing you about how cute you were behind your backs, you could listen to a rough sample of your new and improved track.

“This is fucking fire, dude,” Kells said loudly as he listened with the headphones. You laughed at the volume, feeling better than before and giddy at the thought of having fixed the track.

Once he had finished, he placed the headphones over your ears and played the song in its entirety, your voices flowing together naturally over the music. When the revised part came, you were shocked at how much better it sounded, even if it was still just a rough edit.

You took the headphones off, beaming at him, “you are a genius.”

He teased, “so I’ve been told.” You rolled your eyes, knocking his knee with yours playfully. He shoved your shoulder softly, voice lowering, “you should go home. We can polish this part tomorrow and get it ready for a release.”

You shook your head, volume matching his “I’m fine, Kells. It’s just a headache and we’re almost finished, I can manage.”

“I’m not touching another button today and you are going home, end of story.” You whined but gave no real protest, reaching for your purse and keys. He patted you on the head mockingly, “good girl.”

You glared up at him, “call me that again, and I will hurt you.” He chuckled, standing up with you, and walking you to the door.

He called to the guys, “thanks for all the work today guys, really helpful.” His words dripped with sarcasm, making you giggle.

Slim shrugged, “looked like you two had it handled, we weren’t gonna interrupt.” Rook and Baze snickered, making you roll your eyes.

“Well, I’m out. See you guys tomorrow.” You threw up a peace sign to the men.

Baze checked his phone, “are you sure you want to drive this late? It’s almost 3 am.”

You sighed, realizing he was right. A pout fell on your face as you muttered, “it’s fine, I’ll be okay.” You turned to head out the door, throwing a smile at the boys. Kells followed you out to the main area of the house, grabbing your wrist gently in the living room to stop you from leaving.

“You can stay here tonight if you want. It’d probably be better anyways if you still feel bad.”

His gentle touch on your arm seemed to send a soft feeling throughout your body, something unfamiliar to you. You shook it off, giving him a small smile. As much as you knew you probably should stay, you needed to get out of this house before any other unexplained feelings arose. “Thanks, Kells, but I’ll be fine. I live all of 10 minutes away.”

He shrugged, acting nonchalant, “fine, just text us when you get home.”

You rolled your eyes, walking to the front door, “okay, Dad.”

He chuckled, “shut up, loser.” You flicked him off playfully as you left, the door closing behind you.

Mere moments after you left he heard three laughs from behind him, “oh Y/N! Please stay the night with us.” Rook mocked an overly dramatic Kells impression.

Baze continued with a “I’ll do anything for you Y/N, I’m just so in love with you!”

Slim shook his head, walking over and clapping his best friend on the back, “ignore them.” He said, “we all know you’ll confess to her in your own time.”

Kells scoffed, an eyebrow raised, “I am not in love with Y/N. She’s just a friend. A better one than you three.”

The boys laughed and rolled their eyes, “okay,” Rook said, unconvinced.

tag list:

@bakerkells @elviablo @iambashfulperson @sunflowerbebe107 @crystalbaby12 @stormrider505 @ticketstomydaydreams @mvrylee @daddyavesxx @pettyvxbes @prettydreamboy

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #colson imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #hangovercurse

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dirt-grub · 4 years

Note

👅🌍🍁✨

👅 fav inside joke?

GOD I know I have them but I’m so bad at thinking of them... OH I HAVE A GOOD ONE OKAY

So I have some irls and we’re very stupid. So basically one night we had stayed up late making dumb fucking what if scenarios like. What if Batman was bit by a radioactive spider. Would he be spider bat man? Bat spider man? Bat spider man man? Man man bat spider? And it kept going until we posed the question- what if Harry Potter became bat man after his parents were murdered and was also bitten by a radioactive spider? He would be man man harry spider bat. This is funny to approximately no one but us (also this was before we knew jk was a terf fuck her)

🍁 have you ever gone somewhere (ie a road trip stop, a tourist attraction) that was funny/you had something weird happen to you at?

I’ve been to Broadway and I got accidentally flashed by a rockette but like nyc is nyc ya know

I also had a gaytacular fucking time in washing DC when I was 14 because we had a school field trip and the dumbass teacher chaperones were like oh no we gotta keep the gays from gaying at the straight kids so oh I know let’s put them all in one room together... i was the only room with an odd number and it was my transhet friend and the guy who I ended up dating all through high school so this poor fucker third wheeled with us meanwhile we were holding hands in the air and space museum to the point we got mildly hate crimed (just some spicy slurs nothing physical) by some trump cucks but we were like nah we’re not dating it’s not like he’d ever like ME... morons... also fuck the military but there was one pretty memorial at night and it made me believe in love when I saw my friend in the lights of it at night but like love is dead now no more questions sorry moving on

Also my grandfather took a shit in the garden of a castle in Austria. LONG FUCKING STORY but he’s senile and does not realize it’s not the 50’s anymore and you can’t just shit in the bushes. Nobody caught him. I fear how that ended up. Also the funniest part is after our trip we had a lot of photos blown up and put on the walls and that particular castle is now on the wall of our bathroom so it really came full circle

I could go on man I’ve got Stories.. fuck dawg... that doesn’t even scratch the surface with swimming in sewage on accident at the Jersey shore, or being wanted by the lake police, or that time I went to a Weezer concert in Camden sick to my goddamn stomach in a rainstorm that turned all the lawn seats into a mudslide,

✨ whats a lyric to a song that you find really interesting?

Another one I could go on and on about... let’s see uhh

“And it is easier when you’re older to figure out he things that do and do not work / like my temper / like me and you in the back of my car”

‘And I’ll dig up your graves without skin on my bones / and I’ll carry you home / and I’ll carry you home’

Both from blue eyes like the devils water really ALL the lyrics of that song kill me so hard id recommend a listen (fair warning though there is much screaming lol)

then there’s this absolute classic which just speaks for itself... you cant get more poetic... makes me tear up tbh

🌎 whats your LEAST favorite us state?

That I’ve been to? It’d be low hanging fruit to say New Jersey and really that’s only NORTH Jersey south Jersey is really nice although they had alligator meat at the grocery stores which is some culture shock I guess man

Uh. I haven’t really been around much let’s see. People in New Hampshire give me sass sometimes when they see my New York plates but like I haven’t been enough for that to be a specific pattern lol Also I absolutely fucking get it you see a New York driver on the road and you’re like aw fuck that is totally fair

I’ve never been further west than Pennsylvania so idk man. I hate Ohio in principle but like idk I’ve never been lmfao. Ohio get some more things wtf is even in your state

#answered asks #connor talks #long post #man. this got interesting AKLDSJ

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lilithsgayadoptednephew · 4 years

Text

Holy Hands

By: This_is_my_toenail_collection

Fandoms: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Not Rated Graphic Depictions Of Violence F/M, Other Complete Work

Chapter List

Chapter 2

Acacia didn't rush as she walked the dog home from the corner store. MC walked slightly ahead carrying the plastic bags filled with junk food they'd bought. The spearmint gum in her mouth soothed the nausea that had been growing since breakfast. Her previously rising anxiety subsiding for the moment.

Her and MC took turns belting out lines to various musicals as they walked. Not caring if they sounded good, just trying to be as loud as physically possible. Chester bounded along happily hoping the humans would share the food with him when they got home.

Until the wind changed and he got a sniff of something evil.

"What are you barking at dawg?" Acacia scolded. But Chester kept up his vocal assault on the shadow of an old building. MC approached the shadow, an icy feeling in their gut.

0Evil! The evil thing was trying to threaten the humans!

Chester would not let that happen.

Go away! Go! Go! Go! Go away! Go! Go! Get out of here! Go!

0"Stop your borking boy!" Acacia was struggling to hold the large pit-mix back with the leash. It was too late that MC realized exactly what was staring back at them from the shadows.

# TW violence and blood #

The creature sprang from it's crouched position behind the building. It landed so fast and so heavy onto MC that they were knocked yards away.

Acacia had never seen anything like it. The thing looked like a horse with the wings of a fly. And the head of a human. It's hooves crushed MC without remorse, only letting them cry out once before they lost consciousness. It stamped them into the dirt and snow as if they were just a fallen leaf on the sidewalk.

It wasn't until Acacia saw the dog latch onto the beasts neck that she realized she'd let go of the leash. The creature flung the poor pup away with little effort but quickly realized it didn't have any business there. It disappeared into the ground itself just as fast as it had appeared.

Chester trotted back to Acacia's side shaking and huffing, his fur still on end. Acacia stood shocked looking at the lifeless mound of limbs that couldn't be MC.

What should she do? Call 911? What would she say? She hardly understood it herself and it happened right in front of her face.

Slowly...her heart hammering in her chest, her whole body like ice, she walked towards MC. She supposed she'd better assess the...damage.

MC was broken. Broken bones were visible where they stuck out of their mangled skin. Their ribs caved unnaturally and their complexion was turning a horrifying shade of greyish-white. There was so much blood. It covered their face and arms, obscuring what she suspected were the worst injuries.

#### end of TW ####

Acacia's stomach turned, her head spun and the world started slowly tilting. It wasn't until her head hit the snow that she realized she was falling over.

She laid there for what may have been days. She had to move, to call someone or do something but no amount of mint gum could calm the tidal wave of sickness that tore through her like a machete.

Her vision blurred and her whole body shook as she tried desperately not to vomit. Reality no longer had any familiarity and she just wanted more than anything for this to not be what was going on.

Focusing on the ground in front of her she saw something unfamiliar. It took her a moment to realize it was unfamiliar since reality had lost all meaning in her dissociation. Out of MCs pocket had fallen a phone. Not their phone, a different one.

She had to call someone, a hospital or the cops or a priest just someone.

Gripping the phone with violently shaking hands she saw on the lockscreen the most comforting 2 words she'd ever read.

"Emergency Contacts"

Pressing the button probably 4 times in rapid succession due to her trembling, she put the phone to her ear and tried to hold back tears as it rang.

Bzzzzzz

Bzzz--

"Hey! About time MC!"

Acacia didn't recognize the man's voice. She couldn't speak, she was too afraid.

"What you don't text for weeks and then you call just to ignore me? What's wrong with you?"

She had to say something. This was MC's emergency contact which means they trusted him. Her voice shook.

"Hh-h-" hot tears trailed down her cheeks as she laid in the snow. Trying desperately to form words.

"Did you pocket dial me or something? No one messes with the great Mammon like this ya know!"

"Hh-he-l-p he-lp hel-p ple-ease we- nee- heelp!" She was sobbing into the receiver now that she's gotten the words out. Her whole body felt like it was turning inside out at the navel.

"Woah wait who is this? Why do you have MC's DDD? What's the meaning of this!!!"

Men yelling caused Acacia to freeze up, it had her entire life. But she worked too hard to speak to surrender now. MC needed her.

"HELPP PLEASE YOU HAVE TO HELP US they're dying! They're pr-obably already DEAD they're DEAD! WHATAM I gonna do??!" She was manic and her fear forced the screams out of her like steam from a boiling kettle. Unstoppable and so painful she shook even harder.

"WOAH OK hold on MC's HURT??! We're on our way NOW! LUCiferrr!"

The voice faded away as he seemed to drop his phone in his haste. Acacia dropped the phone to the snow too exhausted to cry or shake, too exhausted to feel the panic anymore and yet it persisted in her ribcage. Chester had long since settled down in the snow beside her.

She fell asleep instantly.

#obey me!#obey me fanfic #Holy Hands #gore #violence

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miguel-manbemel · 4 years

Text

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 40: Cream of Broccoli Gone Horribly Wrong

Here comes a new entry of the main storyline of this fanfic blog inspired on Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders, Joan S. and the Foster Dawg Team. I really thought I wasn’t going to make it this time, because I spent a lot of time working on the “Catching the Reference” video, so much so that I didn’t have any time to write. This episode has been written literally in the last five days. When I started, getting it finished for Sunday was only a hope. Thank goodness that the hope became a reality. And speaking about it, hope and the lack of it and it’s effect on Roman, who is Thomas’ hopes and dreams, will be one of the central topics of this episode. I leave you with it now, hope you enjoy it and until next time.

SYNOPSIS: After discovering that Thomas’ lack of hope is affecting Roman and making him sick, Virgil tries to take care of him and of their injured son Chris at the same time. Both of them try to convince him to ask for help, but Virgil stubbornly tries to do this on his own. But it’s been a week, Virgil’s strength starts failing him and he doesn’t know if he can cope anymore with taking care both of them at the same time. And, exahusted and overwhelmed as he is, when he tries to make Patton’s cream of broccoli to comfort Roman, disaster ensues...

WARNINGS: Romantic prinxiety and logicality. Mentions to illness and death. Angst.

EPISODE INDEX

[Virgil is watching TV, a show about conspiracies he’s enjoying very much. A voice is heard in the distance]

ROMAN: Sweetheart? Are you there?

VIRGIL: [sighs] I thought he’d sleep a little longer… [yelling] Yes, honey, I’m here! Do you want something?

ROMAN: I’d want a little glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, if it doesn’t bother you too much, my love! My lips are completely dry and I need something fresh to drink!

CHRIS: [also voice in the distance] Could you make another one for me, dad, please?

VIRGIL: [yelling] I’m right on it!

CHRIS: Thanks, dad!

ROMAN: Thank you, Virge, I love you!

VIRGIL: [yelling] I love you back! [sighs] Just when it was getting interesting… [turning the TV off and standing up] Okay… back to work again. Come on, Virge. You endured the Dark Master’s working conditions, you can surely survive this! Two glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. And, as Janus would say, I’m totally not tempted to squeeze my hands in the squeezer so I can join these two in bed. Not at all…

[intro sequence]

[Virgil enters Chris’ bedroom]

VIRGIL: [giving him a glass] Here’s your orange juice, Chris.

CHRIS: Thank you, dad.

VIRGIL: You’re welcome. How are you doing now?

CHRIS: My leg itches a little less today. But the question is… how are you doing today, dad? I’m worried that taking care of us both at the same time can be too much for you.

[Virgil smirks with gratitude]

VIRGIL: Thanks for thinking on me, son. But don’t worry. I can cope.

CHRIS: Are you sure? Remember that grandpa offered to temporarily move in with us to assist you.

VIRGIL: Yes, I know, dad has always been that great with us, but I can do this, and I don’t want to disturb him when he’s just starting his new life with Logan.

CHRIS: It’s just that it worries me to be a burden to you, dad. If only I could get rid of this plaster. It was really bad timing that father got so sick right when I’m in this condition. At least I could have helped you take care of him, and now you’re doing this on your own. Look at you. You look so tired, and it’s only been a week.

VIRGIL: [smiling, trying to conceal his fatigue] Don’t worry about me, son. It is I who must take care of you and not the opposite. But I really thank you for your concern. [kisses him on the forehead] I love you. Now drink that juice before it gets warm. It would be a shame that the ice cubes I put on it got melted. And I still have to bring the other glass to your father.

CHRIS: Okay… [drinks the juice, then gives the empty glass black to Virgil] It was delicious. Thank you for your hard work, dad.

VIRGIL: You’re welcome. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything, whatever that is.

CHRIS: Okay, I will. See ya later.

[Virgil leaves Chris’ bedroom and enters his own bedroom, whose bed Roman lies in]

ROMAN: Hi, Virge…

VIRGIL: Hi, Roman, how are you feeling now? Any fever?

ROMAN: I don’t know exactly, I didn’t check my temperature lately. The shivering and the cold feeling are already indicators, though.

VIRGIL: Let me see…

[Virgil puts his hand on Roman’s forehead]

VIRGIL: You’re burning hot. And I don’t mean your presence, which unfortunately, and I’m sorry, is anything but hot right now, sorry sweetheart.

ROMAN: [titters] Yeah, I can imagine… But the truth is I couldn’t care less right now about my appearance.

VIRGIL: Now I know you really have a fever. I was joking, though. Even when you look as bad as you do right now, I still can see that something in you that not even illness can take away.

ROMAN: So you’re basically saying that I look like a haunting ghost and as you love ghosts you enjoy my nasty look… I’ll take that as a compliment.

VIRGIL: It was a compliment and a truth. [takes a bottle of green pills from his pocket, the label, which has Thomas’ face smiling and looking at he sky with a dreamy face, reads “Thomas’ Hope”] Okay, it’s time for your medicine. Take one pill with the orange juice. That will make you feel better, at least for the time being.

[Virgil takes one pill from the bottle and gives it to Roman along with the orange juice]

ROMAN: Thanks. I owe Thomas and his friends so much for their efforts in trying to improve his mood. If it wasn’t for these little pills of hope Thomas generates for us, I don’t know if I would have coped at all… They’re the only thing that keeps me alive, literally. I hope, pun not intended, that they never run out.

VIRGIL: Me too, but remember what Logan said. You must take them fresh, because hope is strong and almost unbreakable when it’s the basis of a human mind, but it’s very fragile and gets spoiled easily when served in these small doses. So take it before it expires.

ROMAN: Okay. Can’t I have a double dose? The effect is so good, but lasts for so little…

VIRGIL: I’m not sure if it’s safe. I’d rather not take the risk until we ask Logan about it. It could be harmful for you.

ROMAN: [sighs] Okay, you’re right. Itadakimasu! [puts the pill in his mouth]

VIRGIL: What was that?

ROMAN: [still with the pill in his mouth] It was Japanese. Don’t you watch subtitled anime? They always say that before eating, as an expression of gratitude for the food they’re gonna eat.

VIRGIL: Oh, I see… You’re welcome, I guess.

[Roman swallows the pill with some of the juice]

ROMAN: Ah… this is so good. No one makes orange juice better than you, Virge.

VIRGIL: Heh… It was nothing special. If the oranges are good, the juice will be good, that’s all.

ROMAN: [grabbing Virgil’s hand] Don’t take merit from yourself, my Emo Dream-of-my-Lifetime, especially when I’m complimenting you.

VIRGIL: [smiles] Okay, I accept your compliment.

[Roman kisses Virgil’s hand, then they both look at each other for a couple of seconds with the most loving glance. It’s Virgil who gets out of this mesmerizing moment first]

VIRGIL: Okay… Now, I gotta go clean the squeezer, then I’ll make dinner. Do you want anything special for dinner tonight?

ROMAN: You told me Patton had given you his secret recipe for the cream of broccoli, right? That warm soup brought me back from the dead when I was feeling bruised. Maybe it could have the same effect with this fever. Could you make some? [puppy face and voice] Please? [suddenly serious] If it’s not too much work for you, of course.

VIRGIL: [shrugs] It’s okay by me. I have never made it before, but I’m willing to learn and if I follow the recipe, it shouldn’t be too hard. [yelling] What do you think, Chris!? Cream of broccoli for dinner!? With my dad’s recipe!?

CHRIS: [from a distance] Yay, I love Patton’s cream of broccoli! And broccoli is a good source of nutrients to help me effectively restore my bones too!

VIRGIL: Where did you learn that?

CHRIS: Uh… internet!? Oh, and grandpa Logan told me the last time they visited!

VIRGIL: [smirks] I thought so, you could only learn that kind of technical words from him… Okay, it’s settled, then. Cream of broccoli for dinner. I’ll start making it as soon as I clean the kitchen. Are you done with your glass, Roman?

ROMAN: [swallowing the last of the juice] Yes, I’m done. Thanks, Virge. I love you.

VIRGIL: I love you back, and you’re welcome. [grabs the empty glass] Now, try to rest a little bit while I’m making dinner, okay? Let the pill of hope make effect.

ROMAN: Okay. I really think I could sleep a little more.

VIRGIL: Dream a little dream of me.

ROMAN: All I do is dream of you my whole life through. [laying down in bed] See ya later.

[Virgil goes downstairs to the kitchen. He washes the two glasses, then cleans the squeezer, getting it ready for another use]

VIRGIL: Okay… now, to make dinner. I hope I have inherited some of my dad’s abilities to make that cream of broccoli.

[Virgil picks up his phone and starts reading the recipe Patton texted him]

VIRGIL: Okay, I need broccoli… Of course, Captain Obvious… I also need butter, an onion, a clove of garlic, three spoonfuls of flour, two cups of chicken stew, a quarter of liter of milk cream, two carrots… Carrots? Oh, well, Roman likes carrots. And Chris… He doesn’t need to know. And I also need salt, black pepper and cheddar cheese. Okay, time to summon it all. Here we go.

[Virgil summons all the ingredients, which appear on the counter]

VIRGIL: I wish I could summon the cream of broccoli itself already made… but I need to make it myself a couple of times before I’m certain I’m summoning it right. I wouldn’t want to serve my husband and son a bowl of swamp mud. Okay, let’s get cooking.

[Virgil starts following the instructions of the recipe. It’s not long before he starts getting anxious about the many steps the recipe has, some of them done at the same time. Soon, an awful smell starts filling the whole room]

VIRGIL: Holly sh… [bleep] ! The broccoli is burning! Oh, f… [bleep], the pan is on fire!

ROMAN: [distant voice] Virge? It’s something burning?

VIRGIL: It’s… it’s okay, Roman! I have it all under control!

[Virgil puts the pan on fire in the sink]

ROMAN: Remember, Virge, that you mustn’t try to extinguish grease fire with…

[Virgil turns on the water and a huge flame erupts from the pan, Virgil yells scared]

ROMAN: …water.

VIRGIL: [yelling almost hysterical] Okay, okay! Don’t worry, I… I knew that!

[Virgil looks for the fire extinguisher everywhere, on the verge of a panic attack. He finally finds it and extinguishes the flames that had already started burning the cabinets above the sink]

VIRGIL: Gosh… that was close… but I must endure. I need to make that cream of broccoli. And I’ll finish it even if I have to throw myself to the floor to grow the vegetables myself!

[Virgil approaches the counter, but he slips on a bunch of butter that had fallen on the floor in the confusion, and he loudly falls. He tries to hang on the edge on the counter, but he only manages to throw down everything that was there over him with a huge chaotic noise]

ROMAN: What was that? Is everything okay, Virge?

VIRGIL: [mumbling with a face of pain, covered with all the ingredients that fell on him] Aw… my arm… Talk about throwing myself to the floor… aw…

[soon footsteps are heard on the stairs and Roman appears wearing a dressing gown, white with a red belt and his logo on the left side of his chest. He’s also wearing golden slippers, and he’s carrying a walking stick, made of gold with the handle full of embedded rubies and amethysts. Roman looks horrified at the chaos in the kitchen, especially when he sees Virgil lying on the ground. Roman walks towards him, unable to run, but walking as fast as he can, leaning on his cane]

ROMAN: Virgil! Sweet Bette Midler, are you okay?

VIRGIL: [getting up with difficulty] Roman, you shouldn’t be up. Get back to bed, I can handle this.

ROMAN: Don’t worry, the pill has started making effect and I’m not feeling fever at this moment. And you obviously can’t handle this, anyone could see it. I’m so sorry I’ve made you go through this, my love. But not anymore, I swear.

VIRGIL: It’s not your fault. You didn’t choose to get sick, and it’s my duty to take care of you.

ROMAN: For starters, it never was a duty as in an obligation, and even if it was or rather you saw it as such because of your vows, you never vowed to do it all alone on your own. Logan once taught me that one mustn’t do things alone if they can gather a group of friends to help them. Now I understand what he meant and I agree. Virgil, I want you to call the others for help.

VIRGIL: So you think I’m not good enough to take care of you on my own, right? You think I’m not capable to do this?

ROMAN: You are capable enough, but capacity wears out with time for anyone, and there’s no need for you to do all of this all alone. Please, Virge, you need to rest as much as we do at this moment. Don’t you see we’re worrying about you and we’d feel better if we knew that you had some assistance? At least, let Patton come here to help you. He already offered to do so.

VIRGIL: But I don’t want to bother him…

ROMAN: [serious, firm voice] Either we call him or I call my brother Remus. You choose, but you’re no longer doing this alone.

VIRGIL: …or maybe it would be fine to call my dad…

ROMAN: That’s more like it. I knew I could convince you somehow.

VIRGIL: You say convincing, I say coercing. You know the mess that would happen if we bring Remus here to take care of this.

ROMAN: Whatever works… Will you call Patton or shall I?

VIRGIL: No, I’ll call him myself. And you’re going back to bed right now, mister.

ROMAN: I tell you I’m feeling fine at this moment. Call him. I’m not going back to bed until I see him here.

VIRGIL: [sighs] Okay… Dad! Dad are you there? Could you come here, please!

[Patton rises up]

PATTON: Hi, son. How are you do… [notices the mess in the kitchen] …ing now…? Okay I can see the answer with my own eyes… What’s happened here?

VIRGIL: Let’s just say that the cream of broccoli didn’t agree with me… while I was making it, that is.

PATTON: Okay, do not fear anymore. Your happy papi Patton is here.

VIRGIL: I hate so much bothering you… but Roman is right, I have reached my limit and I really need help.

PATTON: Hey, don’t worry, Virge. You are my son. You do this because you’re motivated by taking care of your son and husband, right? Do you think my motivation of taking care of you and your family, which is my family too, is any less strong? I’ll always be here for you, don’t you ever hesitate again to call me if you need me.

VIRGIL: Thank you, dad. Thank you so much.

PATTON: Okay, then first, Roman, go back to bed, you shouldn’t be up. Second, you, Virgil go have a shower and change your dirty clothes. And, even if you’re Vigilance and Anxiety, try to relax. Third, I’ll clean this mess before you have time to say “cookies”. And four, time to make some good warm cream of broccoli for my folks. [clapping hands] Okay, move on, now!

ROMAN: Wow, Patton, you really have your condition of dad in your DNA. You’ve organized all of our tasks in less than ten seconds…

PATTON: I said, back to bed, Princey, or do you want me to grab you there in my arms?

ROMAN: Okay, okay, I’m going, you don’t need to do that. [going upstairs] See ya later.

[Virgil also goes upstairs to the bathroom next to his bedroom. While getting a shower, he shows a face of concern while his thoughts are heard in an off-voice]

VIRGIL: [train of thought] Patton is saving the day this time… but I can’t rely on him for everything. I need to be self-sufficient. If I’m not capable of taking care of my own family… what kind of father and husband am I going to be? And Roman needs me… He doesn’t say it, because he pretends to be strong, like I do… but I know him very well. Behind that smile of assurance and that theatrical voice of bravery he displays… I can sense the fear in his eyes. He knows his life is on the stake and he doesn’t wanna die. I’m afraid to speak openly to him about that because I don’t wanna hurt or stress him… but I know he’s so scared. I wish he would open up to me, but opening up about his feelings has never been his strong suit… But is it him who needs to talk or is it really me? Is he the one who’s afraid to die… or is it me the one who’s afraid to lose him? Perhaps it is me who wants to talk to him about it… but I shouldn’t… Goodness, if I lose him… it will be like falling back into the Dark Realm again. He was the torch that guided me to the Light Side in the first place. It was literally his kiss what transformed me into a Light Side… and… I don’t know what I would do without him… [black tears fall down his cheeks, he cleans them and notices his stained hand] Oh, sh… I forgot to take my eyeshadow off before taking the shower. Oh, never mind, I’ll clean it later.

[Virgil gets out of the shower and wears a purple bathing robe. Right at that moment, Roman enters the bathroom. Virgil turns around quickly, trying to avoid Roman seeing his ruined eyeshadow]

ROMAN: Oh, sorry, I needed to go to the bathroom to pick up something and… Wait a minute. Have you been crying, Virge? Your eyeshadow is all over your cheeks

VIRGIL: What? Don’t be silly, it’s just that I forgot to take the eyeshadow off and the shower ruined it, that’s all. I…

ROMAN: You can’t fool me, Virge. I know you, and I can tell when you’ve been crying. What’s wrong, my love? You know you can tell me anything.

[Virgil turns around and looks at Roman. He’s crying again]

VIRGIL: I’m afraid.

ROMAN: Afraid?

VIRGIL: I don’t wanna lose you and I’m afraid that you could…

[Virgil gets choked up and covers his mouth and nose, desperately trying to fight the outburst of crying he can no longer hold back. Roman’s eyes get filled with tears again and he looks at Virgil with a glance overflowing with love]

ROMAN: Gosh… What have I done in life to deserve so much love from you? [opening his arms] Come here.

[Roman hugs Virgil tight until he calms down, then gives him a long kiss. Then he stares at him for a couple of seconds, still hugging him]

ROMAN: I’m scared too, I’m not gonna lie. Who wouldn’t be when his life is on risk? But I’m not gone yet, and while I’m here, I’m gonna keep fighting for my life, to keep on living, to keep on sharing my life with you and Chris, and the rest of our friends. You are the reason why I haven’t given up yet. So don’t give up either. I’m still standing and this illness won’t take me so easily. Heck, it won’t take me, at all. You’ll see. Okay?

VIRGIL: Okay…

[Roman kisses Virgil again, then Patton’s voice is heard from the bedroom on the other side of the door]

PATTON: Soup’s ready! Where are you, guys?

ROMAN: [still kissing Virgil, he groans] Mmm… I’m regretting Patton being here right at this moment…

VIRGIL: [kissing Roman’s cheek with a mocking smirk] It was your idea, Roman…

ROMAN: Yeah, I know… [gives Virgil a quick kiss, then releases him] Okay, let’s go. Now I’m feeling stronger than ever thanks to the pill… and this pill of love we’ve just shared. But I’m really in the mood for some warm soup. Aren’t you?

VIRGIL: Yeah, me too. But you go first, I’ll fix my makeup, then I’ll help Chris get to the stairs. It’s a good thing we can summon the chair lift at will to help Chris go up and down the stairs while his leg is still in the plaster.

ROMAN: Yeah, it is. Okay, I’ll be waiting downstairs for you two to arrive. I love you, my Hooded Dark Prince.

VIRGIL: I love you too, my Sir Sing-Along.

ROMAN: [opening the door] I’m here, Patton.

PATTON: Oh, there you are. [noticing Virgil in the bathroom before Roman closes the door behind him] I hope I’m not interrupting something.

ROMAN: No, we were just having a husband-to-husband talk we both needed to have, but we were done. I can’t wait for that broccoli, I’m hungry! My kingdom for a bowl of cream of broccoli!

PATTON: It’s a good sign that you feel hungry, kiddo. Let’s go.

[meanwhile, in the bathroom, Virgil cleans his face, then applies new makeup. Looking at himself in the mirror, he smirks]

VIRGIL: Things are coming rough right now… but as long as we’re together, we’ll get through it, I know.

PATTON: Virgil, your soup will get cold! I already helped Chris down the stairs, so hurry up, we’re all waiting down here, all the four of us!

VIRGIL: [changing to his usual outfit, then opening the door] Yes, I’m ready, dad! Don’t eat all the cream of broccoli without me! Wait… did he say the four of us?

[ending card]

[Roman, Virgil, Patton, Chris and Logan, who’s joined them, are eating the cream of broccoli on the living room’s table]

LOGAN: I give you my thanks for inviting me to dinner tonight with all of you. This cream of broccoli is more than adequate, Patton.

PATTON: Thanks, Lo. It’s the least I could do, inviting you for dinner, when I’m gonna have to spend a few nights here to help them.

VIRGIL: What? No, dad, that won’t be necessary. You can perfectly go home tonight with Logan, we can survive the night on our own, cause the only thing we’ll be doing is sleeping. And if anything goes wrong in the night, the only one who could get up anyway is me. You know you all fall asleep while Thomas is sleeping.

PATTON: Yeah, I know I’d spend the night sleeping in spite of myself… but I’d probably have nightmares all night out of the concern. If I was here, I’d feel more relaxed and my dreams would be more pleasant. Please, I can sleep on the couch if you want me to.

VIRGIL: No, dad. Should you come over here for the night, I would never allow you to sleep on the couch. We have a guest bedroom you can use… [sighs] Okay, if you think being away could cause you harm in your sleep… I accept. Both of you can sleep over here if you want, Logan.

LOGAN: Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a…

VIRGIL: It’s okay, there’s room in the bed for both of you, and I would be less worried knowing that I’m not separating you now that you’re just married. What do you think, Roman?

ROMAN: Oh, I don’t mind at all.

LOGAN: All right, if you don’t have any issues with it, I accept. The only thing that worries me is breakfast, I…

ROMAN: It’s okay, Logan, we also eat a lot of Crofter’s in this house in the mornings.

LOGAN: [speaking quickly and excited] I’m in!

PATTON: Then, it’s settled. We’ll be here as the lovely family I’ve always envisioned in my dreams!

LOGAN: But only for dinner and breakfast, though, at least me. I’m currently working on something that needs all my attention in my own room during the day.

VIRGIL: Oh, okay, if that’s what you need. Can I ask what are you working on?

PATTON: Yes, my love, I would also like to know, you never told me anything.

LOGAN: It’s a plan of action to try and make Thomas’ mood improve. It is my duty to create all the logical mechanisms that help Thomas enjoy life and understand why life is still enjoyable, so I have to do that. My goal is that, when I have settled that foundation, Thomas will be able to restore his levels of hope to a healthy level again.

ROMAN: Oh, that would be so great. If it would work, you would be saving my life, literally. Thank you, Logan.

LOGAN: Don’t mention. That’s my job, after all. How are Thomas’ pills of hope working, by the way? Are they doing the trick?

ROMAN: Yes, they’re working perfectly fine. I had the last one a couple of hours ago and when I take one, all the symptoms almost disappear, even the fever goes away. That’s why I’m feeling so fine right now. It’s a shame that the effect only lasts for around four hours per pill and that I can only get three pills each day so I have to spend a great deal of the day feeling the symptoms in all their crudeness, and in those moments I feel like trash, but when they’re working like now, it’s an absolute relief. Say, isn’t there any possibility that I could get a double dose to make the effect last longer?

LOGAN: [suddenly yelling, with a face of fear and tension] No! Don’t do that! [there’s a silence at the table, everyone looks at Logan in silence. Logan clears his throat] I’m sorry… I wish you could take more pills or that the effect was longer, but as I told you, hope is fragile when served in these small doses, and if you got more than the established dose, which is one pill each eight hours, the pills you’d take in excess would get corrupted inside of you, as if it was an overdose. And then, they wouldn’t be hope anymore, they would be delusion, irrationality, even dementia, and that would have dangerous consequences, for you and for Thomas, that we must avoid at all cost. Remember, Roman. Even if you’re tempted to do so when you’re feeling the worst, even if you feel like you’re gonna die if you don’t, don’t take more than the right dose each day, do you understand?

ROMAN: Okay. I understand.

LOGAN: And I’m warning you about this because… I’m sorry but, seeing the evolution of your illness…

ROMAN: What?

LOGAN: You’re getting worse, Roman.

VIRGIL: What?

LOGAN: The pills will keep rescuing you and making you feel fine while they’re working, but when the effect wears off… you’re gonna be feeling worse than you’re already feeling now.

ROMAN: Oh, no… There has to be something you can do.

LOGAN: We’re working on it. But you must have faith in us and be strong when you feel the worst.

ROMAN: You’ve managed to scare me… Is it going to be so horrible?

LOGAN: Maybe even worse than anything you could imagine.

VIRGIL: [distressed] Logan, please, there’s no need to say things so crudely.

LOGAN: I’m sorry, but I can’t lie in a matter so serious, and Roman has the right to know… to be ready for that when it happens.

ROMAN: Logan is right, Virge, I have the right to know to prepare myself mentally. Don’t worry, I’m a prince. I’ll be strong, I promise.

VIRGIL: Roman… I know you’ll do your best. And we’ll do our best to take care of you too.

ROMAN: I count on that…

CHRIS: I wish I could take care of you too, father, but my leg…

ROMAN: I know, Chris, don’t worry about anything. Save your energies to heal that leg and get back in perfect shape. Remember we have lot’s of fencing lessons to share together in the future. And I don’t have any intention to miss them!

CHRIS: [smiling] Right!

PATTON: Okay, soup is over. Would you like a nice cup of hot chocolate for dessert? I can make churros to go with it.

VIRGIL: I’m not in the mood, dad, sorry…

PATTON: And that’s why I want you to help me make them. We need to distract ourselves and enjoy Roman’s good moments while they last. I won’t take no for an answer, kiddo.

VIRGIL: [sighs] Okay… let’s make some churros, then.

ROMAN: I think I’m gonna enjoy Patton’s stay in this room more than I anticipated. Churros for everyone! Yummy!

LOGAN: I would have preferred to dip them in Crofter’s, but hot chocolate is good too.

[Virgil goes with Patton to the kitchen and they start gathering the ingredients while Roman looks at them with a face of love and satisfaction, even though his eyes can’t conceal the fear. Virgil looks furtively at him and notices this fear but says nothing, and focuses on not messing up the recipe again]

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #angst #tw illness #aspects and fanfics

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rainydawgradioblog · 5 years

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Rainy Dawg Radio’s Best of the 2010s!

ALBUMS

Palberta - Bye Bye Berta

Palberta is a band that somehow manages to scratch almost every musical itch I have. Nowhere else have I heard a band successfully hold three part harmonies over squeaky atonal guitar riffs and abstract drum thrashing. Although I wouldn’t categorize them as twee, noise rock, post-punk, indie pop, no-wave, or any other genre name for that matter, they distill everything I love from all these types of music and mush it into something beautifully stinky. In my eyes, their 2017 album Bye Bye Berta stands as the definitive statement of what Palberta’s all about. With 20 tracks clocking in at under half an hour, the album wastes no time on filler. Skronky punk riffs burst apart at the seams and a sweet little lo-fi love song comes out of the wreckage, only to be replaced by an abstract tape sample collage. The band also has an incomparable mastery over lyricism, as evidenced by such classics as Finish My Bread (Finish my finish my finish my bread, finish my finish my finish my bread, etc…) and Trick Ya (HEY! Don’t trick me, I’m gonna trick you! HEY! Don’t trick me, I’m gonna trick you!). Highlights include the endearingly ramshackle and stupid pretty “Honey, Baby” and their cover of “Stayin’ Alive” (Jenny’s eating burgers and everybody’s shakin’ and stayin’ alive!)

- Elliott Hansen

Alex G - DSU

Shit if you know me you know I live for that sad bastard indie music. That’s exactly what DSU does best. Probably my most played record of the 2010s, this album’s lo-fi indie rock overfloweth. The opener, After Ur Gone, is on the noisier side of the album’s spectrum along with the squealing guitar of Axesteel and Icehead (peep the scream vocals in his live performances), while songs like the instrumental Skipper exemplify why Frank Ocean tapped Alex for the Self Control riff on Blonde. The emotional core of the record, Sorry, gets right back to the Elliott Smith comparisons that we know and love: lyrics of trauma, drugs and apologies included. My favorite song is Harvey; it smacks me right in the younger brother emo spot, with “run my hands through his short black hair I say / ‘I love you Harvey I don’t care’”. While not as chaotic as House of Sugar, twangy as Rocket, or psychedelic as Beach Music, this record is Alex G comfort music at its finest.

- Max Bryla

Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma

Picture this: J Dilla, Madlib, and Aphex Twin all come together to create an album with little more than some old Coltrane records and an original Xbox at their disposal. The end result is like a trip through the universe. Yet the album comes from the mind of a single individual, who sits in the cockpit with a mischievous grin on his face: Steven Ellison, known professionally as Flying Lotus. The opening track, ‘Clock Catcher’, feels like Ellison slamming his foot onto the ignition so hard that it snaps out of place, shooting into the heavens at the speed of light before the listener can even strap in. Whirling through the stars, the rest of the album is the journey home from the expanse, often melancholic, often wondrous, always changing. From the punchy, off-kilter rhythms of tracks like ‘Nose Art’ and ‘Computer Face//Pure Being’ to the fat synth melodies of ‘Dance of the Pseudo Nymph’, ‘Recoiled’, and ‘Do The Astral Plane’, Flylo is always striking the listener from a different sonic vantage point. You can tell he’s having the time of his life with each of these songs, wanting to share every bit of it with our eardrums. After countless listens, I’m still finding new things about this album to appreciate. A complete masterpiece of cosmic epiphany fuel.

- Trey Marez

Ott. - Fairchildren

People throw so much music at me. And I remember this album was recommended to me back in high school, and I listened to it for the first time in zero-th period -- I think it was someone who went by the name “phryk” on IRC. And dang, it’s still such a good album! In what sense? It’s so well-mixed; that’s the first part. Secondly, it is just a wonderful listening experience from start to finish. If you need a good album of reggae, dub, electronic, here it is. One thing you shouldn’t do with this album: use it to test out speakers at Goodwill. The bass of this album was so good that I bought home a pair of speakers that turned out to be so bad.

- Koi Nil

Car Seat Headrest - Twin Fantasy

Bandcamp has been known for hosting some of our wildest dreams this decade, and when 2011 lobbed William Toledo’s first rendition of Twin Fantasy down my ears my life changed. Emotions are crushed to death in the back of parking lots, the lo-est of fi’s, and lyrics that trigger far and melancholy memories of the early 2010 zeitgeist swarmed with insecurity and Skype calls. The album is Toledo’s first cohesive piece, finally creating work with developed central themes, dedicating the first concept album of his life to falling in and consequently out of love. The album speaks as a mirror to itself, reflecting Will’s own joy and confusion towards falling conservatively and completely in love, until the sobering downward spiral back into isolation. I was only eleven when I let the album own me completely, and am only nineteen as I hold onto it for dear life. Twin Fantasy was never a perfect album, and Toledo recognized this as he re-released Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) in 2018, reinventing the album’s sound with a much higher fidelity, lyrical updates, and redone instrumentals that turn the original into an overture or prologue to be enjoyed separately for more context. Searing solos, cute doo-wop moments, sentimental lyrics, slap-happy drums, fish wearing business suits, dogs, coming out over Skype, smoking, not smoking, nice shoulders, waitresses, the Bible, the ghost of Mary Shelley’s frankenstein, cursive, they might be giant’s rip offs, not knowing SHIT about girls, stealing alcohol from our grandparents and grandparents, bruised shins, cults, fish, getting the spins, and being really really really sensitive to the sunlight. I’d fight for this album, listening to “Cute Thing” as I get RKO’d. Take the time to enjoy the ride, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. (It technically used to be a gay furry album, but now it’s techincally a straight trans furry album.)

- Cooper Houston

Sabaton - The Last Stand

Sabaton is every history teachers dream band. These Swedish power metallers educate the listener about the history of war by discussing various battles, conflicts, and figures. They do this through anthemic choruses, riffs that make your fist pump, and oddly enough synths that work surprisingly well. Since history interests me and I really like metal, Sabaton was pretty much made for me. This album will always have a soft spot in my heart and evoke fond memories as it was one of the first CDs I picked up after getting my license back in 2016. As I gained more independence and freedom as I approached adulthood, this was my soundtrack. This album lived in my CD player during this time as I listened to it over and over again, never once losing its replayability. Ranging from the American battalion that got lost in the Argonne Forest during WWI to Allied and Axis forces joining together to fight at the end of WWII, this album tells of various historical last stands. While this is certainly isn’t the best metal release of the decade, it’s still an extremely solid album. In this case, the sentimentality plays a larger role than anything. While it may not be found on any “Best Album of the Decade” lists, Sabaton’s The Last Stand will always hold a place in my heart and in my car’s CD player.

- Jack Irwin

CONCERTS

07/20/19: What the Heck? Fest @ Croatian Club, Anacortes, WA

Choosing a single favorite concert from the entire past decade seemed insurmountable until I decided to define it by the overall experience rather than exclusively the music. This past summer, I was lucky enough to be one out of barely over a hundred people at the first What the Heck? Fest in 8 years. The festival took place annually from 2001 to 2011, featuring PNW indie legends, K records icons, and all manner of dorky indie folk kids. WTH laid dormant until this past spring, when Phil Elverum (Mount Eerie) announced its return along with the revival of his long-dead initial moniker, the Microphones. I made the trip up from Seattle alone by train and bus, spent a little while wandering Anacortes (the Business was closed :( ) and made my way to the repurposed church which houses the Unknown and the Croatian Club. I ended up seated a few feet from Calvin Johnson in one direction and Kimya Dawson in another. I felt a little out of place at times, like a stranger in the middle of a 90s indie family reunion, but the atmosphere remained consistently welcoming. D+ opened the show, fronted by Bret Lunsford (formerly of Beat Happening), the founder and main organizer of WTH, and backed by Phil Elverum and Karl Blau, who played their own sets later in the night. K Records mainstays Lois and Mecca Normal were on next, delivering stripped down, socially-driven whisper punk/indie pop. Karl Blau led an outdoor sing-along and covered a Pounding Serfs song, who played the next set (their first in [a lot of?] years) for a total of two renditions of “Slightly Salted,” a song I could have listened to in every set that night. Phil hopped back onstage again alongside Lee Baggett to back Kyle Field from Little Wings, an indie-folk favorite of mine, with rambly half-nonsensical lyrics and plenty of soft strummed warm twangly guitars. Black Belt Eagle Scout delivered (comparatively) heavier sounds, coupling slow, soft sung melodies with fuzzed out shoegaze tones, building tension until the Microphones (Phil backed by Kyle, Karl, Lee and keyboardist Nicholas Krgovich) came out for the final set of the night. They opened with what I interpret as a 25-minute rendition of the then-unreleased Belief, which was later shortened to 7 and a half minutes as the opener to the new Mount Eerie record, Lost Wisdom pt. 2. Phil then played a handful of old Microphones tracks alone, including a version of The Glow pt. 2’s title track with reworked lyrics, as well as its closer, My Warm Blood, excerpts from the final Microphones album (confusingly titled Mount Eerie), and what I believe to be another unreleased song. I left with the most limited merch I’ve ever managed to snag: one of two Ziploc bags of lettuce with “the Microphones” and a small K records logo sharpied on the front. I felt bad eating my merch, but it sustained me through the cold Anacortes night as I wandered to and from poorly lit parks, killing time until my 4AM bus back to Seattle.

- Elliott Hansen

03/09/19: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (Solo) @ Vermillion Gallery, Seattle WA

Was really not sure what to expect from this one going in, but CYHSY’s s/t from 2005 has always been one of my favorite records. I hadn’t ever been to Vermillion in Capitol Hill, but it was hosting CYHSY on a “living room tour”, where Alec Ournsworth (vox, guitar, harmonica[!]) hit tiny spaces around the country. Vermillion sat 40 at most, and I got to check out some cool local art in the space as well. Alec’s trademark voice that (according to p4k) sounds “as if someone were pressing his vocal cords to a fret board and bending them” which is pretty damn accurate. Amongst CYHSY’s greatest hits (In This Home On Ice and Cool Goddess in particular), he also covered Pixies and Tom Waits through lively and exciting banter. Great dude, great music, great venue. My favorite of the 2010’s for sure.

- Max Bryla

11/14/18: Milo @ Vera Project, Seattle, WA

Milo, and the ruby yacht house band are poetic alchemists that constantly dish out hefty servings of succulent syllables with each new release. Kenny Segal who does the beats for a few of Milo’s songs (and other hip hop artists) opened by transporting the crowd into the ethereal realm with a few classics from his album: happy little trees. Once Kenny Segal finished, Milo accompanied by the ruby yacht house band jumped on stage. I was close enough that I could make out Milo’s squirtle tattoo on his bicep and waited for his vivid and veracious vocabulary to leave me in a state of decapitation. Crispy, potato chip like static (a Milo-live signature) was consumed ferociously by the crowd as he hit us with one banger after another. About halfway through the set Milo dropped the mic and went off stage into the back room. The ruby yacht house band was left Milo-less; their beat lingering in the air, festering with each hit of the snare. Milo returned a while later, wielding a pair of tap dancing shoes in one hand and a ukulele in the other. He put on the tap dancing shoes on stage, everyone in the audience screaming with his return. Donned with the tap dancing shoes and positioning his ukulele on his chest; he began to dance. Holy shit he was good too. Strumming the uke and tap dancing away I was utterly mesmerized. My eyes glued to his performance. Suddenly, as if stricken by some divine intervention, Milo seized the ukulele by the neck and smashed it against the ground, splintering into a thousand pieces. After his destructive fit, he picked the microphone back up and whispered into it emotionlessly: “Think about that”. I did. The whole experience was transcendental and instantly triumphed as my greatest concert of the decade. You KNOW I snagged a sliver of uke on my way out.

- Rocky Schaefer

08/07/17: Metallica @ CenturyLink Field, Seattle, WA

While Metallica has had its ups and downs throughout their career, they do one thing well, and that is putting on a damn good live show. Metallica built the best line-up I have ever seen, given the popularity of the bands they chose. With them they took Avenged Sevenfold, who I greatly dislike but are still a huge band, and Gojira, one of the best modern death metal bands on the scene. The sheer size of this concert was absolutely and extremely inspiring as Metallica was able to fill up CenturyLink Field, a venue usually reserved for pop artists who draw in thousands of attendees. The amount of people that attended signaled to me that metal is far from dead. While this tour was in support of their newest album Hardwired to Self Destruct, Metallica made sure to incorporate classics into their setlist including “Seek and Destroy,” “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” and “Battery.” James, Robert, Kirk, and Lars delivered a killer concert will tight playing and outstanding individual performances. Being able to see my music hero, James Hetfield, play live was truly a special experience. The one thing that stood out during the performance were the visuals. Each song had a unique and individual video effect on the large screens behind the band which made each song special and memorable it its own way. While I wasn’t close to the stage by any means, the crowd interaction created a unique experience that made me feel much closer than I really was. This concert wasn’t just a concert, but also a life-changing experience. Seeing the band that truly got me into metal, the thing that I rest my individuality on, is something that defined the decade for me and will live with me forever.

- Jack Irwin

SONGS

“You Are Here” - Yo La Tengo

This one I don't think I can fully explain. By miles, this is my most played song of all time. It is the opener of Yo La Tengo’s 15th album, There’s A Riot Going On. The album, and song, starts with the meditative synth line that builds into a pulsing rhythm over the course of the first minute. The rhythm maintains through the rest of the song, as casual guitar strumming is added and another synth that doesn’t sound all that dissimilar to Jonny Greenwood’s Ondes Martenot. My favorite part of the song, though, are the drum fills of the latter half: they crash and roll like the ocean. With or without the title of the song, the audio conveys a degree of presentness and contentedness that I haven’t been able to find elsewhere quite yet. I’d recommend it.

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years

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Kings’ Trip (4)

T’Challa, M’Baku, Redeemed! Erik

Warnings: Cussin’, Family rivalries, slight, light peppering of implied smut, not even alladat. You’ll see.

Word Count: 2.8K (it’s a miracle I stayed within rule max)

A/N: This is part of a The Black Panther fandom collab created by @royallyprincesslilly. I really enjoyed doing this chapter, way more fun than I could’ve ever expected. Honored to have taken part, this community it so blessed. @katasstrophey, SHE READY!

Chapters: Kings’ Trip (1) By: @sisterwifeudaku, Kings’ Trip (2) By: @blackandfair (3) By: @royallyprincesslilly

The trip was proving to be a lot more than T’Challa signed up for. It was something when Erik’s reckless, loudmouth self and M’Baku’s narcissistic, disrespectful attitude were the most mild people he would have to deal with. The stress sat heavily on them into the next day. At least, on everyone but Erik.

“Aight niggas, we headed to the beach. Sun’s out, guns out.” Erik clad in his swim trunks, towel around his neck, and stunna shades on.

M’Baku was on the TV trying to figure out a video game Erik beat him on. “I’m not a very summer sun kind of individual, eh? I’ll just stay back. AGH!” He yells as he loses the level again against the CPU.

Erik snatches the controller from M’Baku. “Listen, you not gonna get any better at this today, trust me. If my trash ass beat you on Rainbow Road, you just not cut out for the Kart.”

M’Baku crosses his arms in a huff. Erik looks over to T’Challa who is stewing over a cup of coffee. “Now what the hell is your problem?”

T’Challa shakes his head, “Have you been here for the past couple days? I have a half-brother I never knew existed, you remember that?”

Erik sucks his teeth. “Don’t be actin like you never been through this before, dawg. You got a new cousin outta some Maury type shit, and we good!”

T’Challa looks over at Erik sullenly, “Our scenario is exactly what I am afraid of.”

Erik claps T’Challa on the back, “Don’t take it so hard, T. That’s why we need to get you out the house. This is still our kingcation, remember?! Let’s get out there, check out the waves, the honeys, and get it poppin!”

Nakia comes in the living room from the back, “You guys are going out?”

Erik looks sideways at T’Challa, “No wonder you all blue and shit. You know we can’t have no real fun unless your girl ghosts, right?”

Nakia glares at Erik, “Please, I couldn’t careless. But the way you all are treating Adrian, I think it is only right you think of him before going out.” She looks at T’Challa for confirmation, who turns his face scratching his scalp.

M’Baku steps over to them. “For the record, I have no ill feelings towards the little guy. But I wonder the significance of him being brought to our attention now?”

Nakia answers, “This is a sensitive predicament to break down to the tribal leaders. We don’t want to expose him to too much of what is expected from his existence. There are two groups of people that could be affected by this; we cannot risk an uproar like LAST time.” Nakia works her neck in Erik’s direction.

“Aye, it worked itself out in the end right? Chiiiill. So what y’all gon do, cuz I’m headed for some mai tai’s and gettin a good spot on the beach real quick.”

Nakia shrugs, “That’s fine. I’ll call Adrian to join you all.”

T’Challa perks up at this, “Eh? Why do you keep pushing this boy off on us? He is a grown man, he can make his way on his own. Why are you acting like his mother?”

Nakia steps right under T’Challa’s nose. “He is still young and impressionable though. You spent all of your life thinking your father was the greatest man, without flaws. As you have become grown, you see it is the opposite and it just keeps getting deeper! How DARE you blame him for his situation. You need to soften your heart and welcome him as your blood. Stop thinking about the throne and your status and take in your family!”

M’Baku plants his hands on both their shoulders, “Ok, let us calm this lover’s quarrel. Nakia, go ahead and call him.”

T’Challa knocks M’Baku’s hand off him, “What gives you any right to-”

“That is MY cousin, T’Challa. I have EVERY right to see him while we are here. Watch your tongue when speaking of a Jabari.” M’Baku says pointing a finger in T’Challa’s face.

Erik claps his hands, “Aight! I fucking love Black ass family reunions. Leggo!”

The crew make their way to the beach and it’s packed with folks. Erik and M’Baku race to get to some chairs that were unoccupied to claim. M’Baku stretches out, yawning, “Ahh, the sun is so draining….”

Erik taps his chest, “Uh uh, Baku, getcha ass on up. We goin to get some liq up in our sys.”

M’Baku sits up confused, “Why do you always speak like a broken radio? I can only understand every other word with you.” He gets up to walk off with Erik.

“T’Challa, you coming through?” Erik asks.

T’Challa is laying back in a chair, towel covering his face as he waves them away without a word. While they were gone, T’Challa contemplated the complexities of his family tree. He prayed that his father didn’t have some kind of Zeus complex, making children wherever he laid his head.

Soon as T’Challa started to drift off, an annoying yet familiar voice came to him.

“Aye! The seagulls will make a meal out of you if you don’t stop laying out here roasting like this.”

Moving the towel, T’Challa sees his sister Shuri. She had her braids half up and half down, with a cute patterned bikini on with a skirt coverup.

T’Challa sits up mortified, “Eh, you walk out of the house looking like this?!”

Shuri puts a hand on her hip, “I do and I have already. No angry mobs have rushed me in horror brother, so thanks.”

T’Challa tosses his shirt at her, “Put this on. You are too young to be wearing that.”

Shuri looks at him sideways, throwing the shirt back. “You do realize toddlers where things very similar to this as well, yeah? Calm your blood pressure, umkhulu.”

Erik and M’Baku are laughing and chatting coming back to the chairs. “Aye look who found us, y’all!” Erik had Adrian in a headlock.

T’Challa’s heart rate began to speed up, he did not want Shuri to know about their new found brother yet. “Good, you all made it! Shuri is here, but she was just about to leave to meet with Nakia, right?” T’Challa makes a face for her to scram.

Shuri waves him off, “Pssh, I have no obligations at the moment. Let me hang out with my cousin and Baku! Who is this guy, Erik?”

Erik’s face lights up as he starts but T’Challa cuts him off, “ERIK!! Let’s take Adrian for a drink, eh? We need to catch up! M’Baku, keep Shuri company, please.” T’Challa spins Erik around who still has Adrian locked up.

Erik looks at T’Challa confused, “Why ain’t you lettin’ the little nigga see his sister, man?”

“That was my sister?? Oh man, I always wanted a sister!” Adrian says under Erik’s pit.

“We need to talk about that, I don’t want to upset her with something like this. Who knows what she will do.”

They sit under a tiki bar and order some strong cocktails and a round or beers.

“Yeah, get me three beers, yo. They for me.” Erik looks over at Adrian winking. T’Challa smack his arm, “He can’t drink, what are you doing?”

Erik looks at T’Challa, heavy lidded from his alcohol consumption so far. “Chiiiill, he grown enough. He already had a beer anyway and he handled that. I promised him one more, then he cut off, right cuz?” The shake hands in a cool way that makes T’Challa feel a jolt of envy.

“So Adrian, what have you been up to lately?” T’Challa asks.

Adrian sips his beer burping, “Ahh, just helping with the community center mostly. I’m taking courses at a nearby community college as well.”

T’Challa furrows his brow, “Community college? Why aren’t you at a university? You have to apply yourself to the best institutions to get the best-”

“Aight, are we gonna be talking about careers and futures with the kid right now, for real? T’Challa that’s like the number one thing you should NOT asks a student about: what the fuck they doin in school.”

“Thanks, cuz. But T’Challa, I’m only going since it is the best thing for me to do, financially. I get my prerequisites covered by going to community college first. And I’m passing with flying colors, so it’s all good.”

T’Challa nods, blankly drinking his cocktail. He forgot about how America’s schools were not as accessible as Wakanda’s. He cursed himself for assuming Adrian was a slacker.

The bartender lines up some shots in front of them, filling them.

“We did not order these.” T’Challa speaks up.

The bartender smiles jerking his head in to the right of them, “They’re covered.”

Two melanated baddies wave sipping and giggling at them.

“Well shit, that’s my day made, right there.” Erik says as he downs all three of the shots. “Y’all conversate and shit while I go and knock down some walls.”

Adrian asks, “You mean break the ice?”

Erik turns rubbing his hands together Birdman style, “Nah, cuz. Knock. Down. Some walls.” Erik turns with a flourish. “Ayyye, y’all wanna feel my scars? They soft as fuck...”

T’Challa shakes his head scoffing to himself. “Now he is the crazy one. Try not to let him influence-” T’Challa looks over but Adrian is gone from his seat. T’Challa sees him attempting to hula hoop with Shuri and M’Baku. M’Baku is somehow impressively good at it despite his ox-like body.

T’Challa goes back to his original chair to keep tabs on how the conversations were going between Shuri and Adrian. He still wanted to keep control on letting that information out. Erik strolls over with the two baddies on either arm.

“And Veronica, this is M’Baku, my man! I know you like em thicc, he do too, baby.”

M’Baku drops his hula hoop puffing his chest out as he makes his way to Veronica. “Pleased to meet you...Veronica.” M’Baku dips his voice an octave, and Veronica notices with pleasure.

“Mmmm, nice to meet you! You work that hula hoop pretty good...your hip movements are pretty on point.” Veronica coos as she holds onto M’Baku close.

M’Baku chuckles, “My dear, I can move anyway you need me too. That is, if you can keep up?”

Night starts to fall on the beach as Erik has his portable speaker blasting some trap jams, his lady grinds on his lap inconspicuously as they are completely inebriated and feeling each other. M’Baku is into a beach game with Veronica, Shuri and Adrian. Adrian has Shuri on his shoulders, Veronica is on M’Baku’s as the girls attempt to push one another over into the water. Their laughs echo across the beach as T’Challa looks at them and how happy they are. Adrian definitely acts more like Shuri than him, if he had to admit anything about their relation.

He watches as M’Baku topples over with Veronica. Shuri flexes and growls imitating a Jabari chant in victory. Once M’Baku gets back up he tackles Adrian sending, Shuri and them into the water. Shuri comes up, disgruntled as she yells at M’Baku for his antics. Adrian and M’Baku wrestle in the water until M’Baku drags Adrian to the shore, putting him in a sleeper choke hold.

T’Challa thinks it’s getting a little too rough, so he gets up running over to them, “All right, that is enough!”

M’Baku laughs, “It is over when he taps out. Show me what you’ve got, little one!”

Adrian squeaks, “I know you are getting tired; water sports are easier on the joints for the elderly!”

M’Baku lets out a hearty laugh, “Oh, how rich! He has the Udaku mouth, that is for sure. Jabari act more than speak!”

T’Challa puts M’Baku in a hold that shakes him up. M’Baku lets Adrian go, rolling his body forward to whip T’Challa off of his back.

“The hell is wrong with you T’Challa? Did you think I was going to kill him?” M’Baku asks. Shuri watches from a distance.

T’Challa gets up, wiping sand off of him. “You know better than to hurt someone of royal blood.”

M’Baku guffaws, “Oh we acknowledge him now, do we? The lost brother is now welcome! Bring your fattest pig, finest clothes, rings for every finger! Oh PLEASE!” M’Baku’s nostrils flare, eyes bucking. Veronica holds his arm to anchor him.

T’Challa points to him warning, “M’Baku, you treat my brother with resp-”

“HE IS A JABARI! My cousin!” He says, beating his chest with each syllable. “You have a problem with how I engage with my cousin, I’ll take it into consideration when you treat him like your brother!”

“T’Challa…” Shuri looks at him confused.

“Shuri, it’s not-”

“I have been playing this whole time with my own brother, and you knew?? When were you going to tell me?”

“It’s not that simpl-”

“Save it, brother. I’m calling Nakia to take me to my loft.” Shuri walks away.

M’Baku asks T’Challa, “The child gets her own loft?”

“I run all the vibranium in Wakanda, what do you think?!” Shuri calls behind her.

M’Baku raises his eyebrows, “With ears like a rabbit, it seems.”

T’Challa collects his things, “It’s about time we call it a night. Adrian you can come with me. Where did Erik go?” He and M’Baku look around but see him nowhere.

“Do you wanna call it a night, M’Baku?” Veronica asks, eyes fluttering.

M’Baku takes her hand, kissing it. “I must admit that our festivities have drained my energy considerably.”

Veronica frowns, “Well I’m right across the street if you could...walk me home?”

T’Challa starts to head for the penthouse with Adrian , “I will see you later M’Baku. I’m heading back.”

Once he makes it back to the penthouse, T’Challa crashes on the couch, sighing deeply. His phone dings with a message from Nakia saying she dropped off Shuri and is coming to get Adrian.

Adrian turns on the TV. “So Shuri seems nice.”

T’Challa grips the bridge of his nose, “That will change.”

Adrian gets up to go to the fridge, grabbing a water. “Well maybe she just likes me more than you, who knows.”

T’Challa looks back at him like he is crazy. “You know her for all of five minutes, and you think she would pick you as a favorite brother?”

Adrian takes a sip, “I’m just saying, we are close in age, and when we were having fun, she was mad at you and storming off so, boom!”

T’Challa shakes his head, “I don’t argue with children.”

Adrian walks slowly to the couch, looking confused, turning down the TV slightly. “T’Challa...I think Erik is here.”

“Yeah I saw shoes and shirt by the door when we walked in. No home training.”

M’Baku walks in, “How are we doing, gentlemen?” He is beaming from ear to ear.

“I take it you and Veronica had a nice goodbye.” Adrian says.

M’Baku plops on the couch, causing Adrian to hop from his weight. “I do not kiss and tell…”

“Fuck! Oh!” a woman’s voice says

Everyone freezes at the distant exclamation.

“What was….” T’Challa starts.

“What’s my name, Princess? Lemme fuckin hear it!” Erik growls.

“Daddy! Oh, gimme that daddy dick!”

Adrian covers his giggles, “Remember I told you Erik was here? It sounded straight up like LL Cool J’s song ‘Doin It’ back there.”

M’Baku gets up striding out to the balcony, “I should’ve just stayed the night with Veronica. Now I have to hear this.” He closes the glass behind him.

Nakia walks into the penthouse, “Hey, guys. Did things go well?”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” the woman sounds operatic as she ought to be climaxing with all the noise.

“That’s it, nut on this dick-”

“ERIK!! Keep it down! Adrian, come on, get out!” He pulls Adrian to the door to rush him and Nakia out.

Adrian walks down the stairs as Nakia turns to T’Challa. “I didn’t think of you as someone to half-ass things, T’Challa…”

“I was protecting her-”

Like your father was protecting you! What does keeping the truth from people do T’Challa, huh? Has it done you any good? Erik?” Nakia storms off. T’Challa leans against the wall outside the penthouse. He is not used to being the bad guy, but his father left a trash legacy that he must try and turn into a treasure. Heavy is the head of the privileged. As T’Challa goes to open the door to return inside, it opens by itself. Erik’s date walks out, hair a mess, and all around disheveled.

“Aight Leslie, you be careful walking down those steps. Your hips oughta feel better by Thursday.” She smiled goofily waving goodbye as Erik leaned against the doorframe watching her go.

“Phew! Well, what’d I miss?”

@blublubleu @mbakusthrone @dramaqueenamby @muse-of-mbaku @kumkaniudaku @imagine-mbaku @airis-paris14 @katasstrophey @thewriterinflannel @blackandfair @sisterwifeudaku

#black panther fanfic #black panther au #black panther fanfic challenge #black panther fanfic collab #m'baku #t'challa #redeemed!erik #fanfic #shakafic #kings trip

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boobdolan · 6 years

Text

a review of melodrama (2017) by lorde

hey what’s up it’s your boy b-dawg. the b is for boobs as in breasts. this post is a track-by-track review of melodrama, the grammy-nominated sophomore studio album by ella yelich-o’ connor (aka lorde), a new zealand singer-songwriter who likes to dance funny and eat onions. her first album was pure heroine which was pretty big bc i think people (angsty teens) related to her songs about being an angsty teen.

i’m gonna keep it real with you chief. when i first heard green light (the lead single from the album) i thought it was pretty ass. but you know what. i’m an ass man despite my username. so eventually by some karmic circumstance i was reintroduced to the album and i realised: “hey! this is pretty dope! 😎” and then i ended up writing a 4000-word extended essay on it for the IB. but that’s another story.

green light is also the first track on the album, and it’s a hella effective one. with its intro bringing listeners acapella ella™️ over sparse piano chords, it kicks open the door to the sound of melodrama and immediately subverts any expectations for a pure heroine 2.0. as the song progresses we get additional elements of new and old - the boom-bap drums recall the hip-hop influences that permeated pure heroine, while her high-pitched backing vocals in the chorus introduce listeners to new vocal stylings from a singer who was previously known for being a Cool Bean who was Too Cool for all that stuff.

as the maximalist bop green light ends, listeners are thrown even further away from the sound of pure heroine with sober. personal note: sober was the song i most liked on the album upon first listen. and I can see why. it’s because i’ve got good taste! from the spacey uber-processed backing vocals to the bongo beat to the horns in the chorus, the song’s really unlike much else in the pop scene today. i especially like the “night, midnight, lose my mind” intro because when i first heard it i was like “wtf???? cool 🤠” anyway, point is, ella and her bf did well on this track.

at this point one might think, “this girl has a thing for acapella intros to her songs”. and she does! homemade dynamite starts, like an action movie, in situ, with its musings about top gun and the house party that the album is conceptually based around. one thing i love about the song is its synths. the 80s inspiration is obvious, with the synth pad emulating the iconic Fairlight sound on kate bush’s running up that hill. however, the moodiness of the synth pad is contrasted with a sprightly riff that comes in every now and then, emphasising that Potent Teenage Mix of Emotions™️ that the album is focused around. lorde also uses contrast in her lyrics, pairing wordy, literary, stream-of-consciousness style verses with almost childish phrases like “know I think you’re awesome, right???” it’s things like this that really encapsulate the state of being teenaged to me - that uncertain transitional period between adolescence and adulthood.

the following song starts with a very indie-sounding guitar, which is an unconventional sound for a lorde song. but the louvre is so typically lordey in that it shows off one of her greatest skills - the ability to create memorable, quotable lines with unique phrasing. who else would think of stammering the line “i overthink your punctuation use”?? who else would think of using a spoken “broadcast the boom boom boom boom and make ‘em all dance to it” as a hook??? another thing of note in this song is its extended U2-esque instrumental outro, courtesy of jack antonoff. sometimes when i listen to it, i understand why ella is banging him.

jack then mumbles the intro to the next song and starts playing the piano. after a few bars, ella joins him and her voice basically has sex with his tinkling on the ivories. liability is objectively great. lyrically, she reaches mind-bending extremes that many of her contemporaries can only dream of achieving. there’s a verse where she goes “home, into the arms of the girl that [she] loves” which is very interestingly constructed - it hits listeners with the initial shock of “oh wait is ella coming out” and just Leaves It for a few lines. and theN BOOM!!!! she’s actually talking about herself. that’s pretty cool. one other thing is her rhyme scheme in the line “the truth is, i am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of their tricks don’t work anymore” which has a devastating effect that always gets me, even though it greatly takes advantage of her bananies voice.

now the listener is halfway through the album, and at this point they’re likely as hard as the feelings in the title of the next song. hard feelings/loveless brings us back into the world of electronic drums and synths after the minimalism of liability, and it does so excellently, providing an ambient atmosphere with its muffled beat and echoey distorted guitar. this song used to be one of my least favourites on the album because I thought the L O V E L E S S chant in the second part sounded kinda dumb and edgy. but then i watched lorde’s performance of the song for VEVO and ?????? WtF????? it really shines with a small choir and a boombox. fantastic. i also appreciate the little paul simon sample that bridges the two parts together - it’s a rare example of lorde wearing her influences on her sleeve for this album. also paul simon is one cool mf. i pop my pussy to graceland 24/7. 😎👌

taking a note from jack antonoff’s albums, the next song is a reprise, which have been used by many artists after the beatles to say “hey look my album is cohesive!” even though the only reason why it’s cohesive is because it’s cohesively shit. that’s not the case with sober II (melodrama), which functions as a response to the first sober. the parent song’s repeated calls of “can you feel it?” are immediately countered in sober II’s first line: “you asked if i was feeling it, i’m psycho high”. that’s cool because it reinforces the house party concept of the album. however, while i think the strings and trap drums combo sounds cool on paper, this production choice is the album’s first misstep because it sounds like jack put together 2 apple loops on garageband that didn’t quite fit.

luckily, before lorde turns into one of the migos, we’re treated with another piano song - writer in the dark. a word about lorde’s vocal performance in this song: WOW!!!!!!!!!! 😃😃😃 good stuff! in the verses, her raspy, imperfect voice highlights the intimacy and personal nature of the lyrics. in the chorus, she double tracks her voice and sings with a more round tone, which gives the eerie effect of sounding a bit like kate bush. it’s ok. i’m a bush man too. jack does a little production trick in the outro where ella sings the hook progressively louder as he fades out her vocal and lets the song be overtaken by strings. while it’s cool, i feel like he quite obviously snagged it from the outro of david bowie’s “heroes”, where a similar trick was achieved by the production god brian eno. jack then did it again on the song slow disco by st. vincent later in the year. side note: i’m still kinda pissed about what he did to st. vincent’s masseduction. more on that another time.

the next song, which should’ve been a single, features the metaphor of a supercut. i’m not sure how i feel about that because, on one hand, the term feels very millennial, like a better-written version of katy perry’s save as draft. you know what i mean? like those songs that aged fast - crazy in love with its pager reference, and payphone with its..... payphone reference. on the other hand, a supercut is pretty timeless, as montages have been used in cinema since the french first figured out how to make moving pictures. and the word sounds cool, so it’s ok i guess. but that’s beside the point. the song’s really nice, with some very interesting moments. one notable instance is lorde’s phrasing and the instrumentation in the prechorus - “in your car, the radio on”. the instrumentation just stops for a beat after ella sings the line, in a genius move that makes the song Even More Boppable!!. another moment is how the beat changes during the final choruses - from mellow, with her voice sounding like it’s coming out of a cassette player, to full, regaining all the instrumentation of the original choruses. then the song ends with a weird echoey vocal outro that’s a fantastic moment for me, especially after the intensity of the final choruses. boner time!!!!! 😃 one last cool thing about the song is that i feel the line “so I fall into continents and cars” is an Excessively paul simon thing to say. it’s one of those abstract things that just sounds GREAT, like “fat charlie the archangel sloped into the room” from his song crazy love, part II.

speaking of part twos, the end of supercut transitions into the bassy, atmospheric synths of liability (reprise). unfortunately, i still haven’t gotten round to fully appreciating this song. to me, it’s the biggest misstep on melodrama. don’t get me wrong - it’s a nice enough song, it’s really chill, but it feels slight because of its association to the majestic, melodic liability. apart from their lyrics, there’s not much that links the two. i feel that liability needed no reprise; it’s a work that stands on its own. i felt the same way about yandhi when kanye west announced it. yeezus doesn’t need another album associated to it! it’s perfection by itself. also, someone pointed out that the drums on liability (reprise) are the same as those on taylor swift’s call it what you want, and the last time taylor and jack screwed up a great indie artist’s work was fast slow disco, which we don’t talk about in this house.

finally, we come to the end of lorde’s house party with perfect places. and what a brilliant ending it is. there’s something so stirring about the drum beat, with its crunchy, decisive snare. there’s something equally moving about the synths and chord progression in the chorus, which give me chills like loud organs echoing in a church. when put together, they sound industrial, menacing, as if they move into your soul and alienate you from your own body. but at the same time, they’re an emotional release, a source of comfort like bruce springsteen’s cathartic 70s and 80s albums. another cathartic element - the use of the word “fuck” in the chorus. i could write a whole essay on it tbh. to me, it represents an intensely freeing release of the bad vibes and negativity in one’s life - for lorde, perhaps, her failed relationship and the state of the world in 2016. you know how studies have shown that when you shout “FUCK!!!!😡😡” after hitting your toe on furniture, it helps ease the pain? it’s like that. so while saying something taboo on the record is such an edgy angsty teenage thing to do, but also reflects lorde’s release from her pain. or maybe i’m reading too much into it.

the album ends as it begins, with ella’s bare vocals, reminding us that she is once again the Queen of Indie Pop. overall, melodrama gets a

9/10

for being really cool. peace out bitches. 🤠

#lorde #melodrama #review #music #music review #album #album review

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kbaldwin0609 · 7 years

Text

'The Bachelor' episode 2 recap: Crash course in love

Photo: ABC

Warning: This recap for episode 2 of The Bachelor contains spoilers.

Get your motor running rose lovers, because it’s week 2 and our Bachelor is ready to hunt down a wife, like a hawk stalking its prey. (Sorry for mixing my metaphors and similes, folks.) And even though the “ladies” seem to be getting along famously right now at Casa Bachelor, Chris Harrison is quick to remind them that that camaraderie will not last.

Photo: ABC

That’s for damn sure: When Becca K. gets the first one-on-one date, our resident single mom/villain Chelsea is not happy.

Photo: ABC

Becca, meanwhile, hops on the back of Arie’s (rented) motorcycle for a ride through the picturesque Southern California mountains. It’s all very romantic… except for the whole “donorcycle” thing.

Photo: ABC

Krystal’s dad, it turns out, was in a “serious” motorcycle accident, and she also knows lots of people who have died or “lost body parts” in bike accidents as well. Given all that potential awkwardness, I’m surprised Team Bachelor didn’t make Arie take Krystal on the motorcycle date. They love a good “forcing someone to confront a source of personal terror on camera” opportunity.

That said, there is something Team Bachelor loves more than making women fear for their lives, and that’s… the Pretty Woman Date™!!!

Photo: ABC

Naturally Becca is THRILLED at this development — though as a grown-ass woman living in the year 2018 she should know that a man buying you expensive clothes and baubles on your first date is not romantic, it’s creepy and infantilizing. But who cares about that when everything is so SPARKLY???

Photo: ABC

Vom. “Arie makes me feel very special,” gushes Becca. “I appreciate that he picked me to do this.” She appreciates it even more when Arie tells his little lady that she gets to keep ALL the pretty dresses, and he even has some sparkly $700 Louboutins to go with!

Photo: ABC

After poking some diamond Neil Lane earrings through Becca’s lobes, Arie goes in for the smooch, all the while keeping one hand on Becca’s neck. When Becca gets home to primp for part two of her date with Arie, she strolls in so laden with packages and shopping bags that the “ladies” can’t believe what they’re seeing.

Photo: ABC

“Look at those shoes! Are those Louboutins?” shrieks Lauren G. “Eeeeeeeee!” The women vociferously demur when Becca admits she was nervous about bringing all her loot home — and even though the air is thick with jealousy and tension, most of it seems to be directed inward rather than at Becca herself. “Oh my God,” sighs Bibiana ruefully. “They’re gonna get married.” Oh gurl, look at the odds — that’s very unlikely.

Over dinner that night, Arie does a lot of the talking, telling Becca that he feels “wiser” since his last experience on TV and reiterating that his real estate career allowed him to “slow down” and get ready for romance. When Becca does get to speak, it’s to fill Arie in on her late father’s battle with brain cancer — which was, understandably, “the hardest time that I had ever lived through at that point.” The experience, says Becca, brought her even closer to her family — and she’s happy to hear that Arie has strong family ties, too. Of course, she gets the date rose… and some free Neil Lane earrings!

Photo: ABC

Also, I really wish he’d stop running his hands through Becca’s hair. It’s a little much.

The second date of the week is — hold up — another one-on-one date? With Krystal? Well I hope the fitness coach (or whatever) is ready to bring her A-game, because as Arie said, “Becca has definitely set the bar high.”

Krystal may not walk away from her date with a pile of bling, but she will have something to make the other “ladies” jealous: Arie’s taking her home to Scottsdale, Arizona! And she LOVES it.

Photo: ABC

Vom. Once in Arizona, Arie gives Krystal the nickel tour, showing her the Pizza Hut where he worked as a teen, the tree where he had his first kiss, his high school, and naturally his condo, where they pore through old photo albums and watch home movies.

Photo: ABC

But why look at old photos when you can have an awkward encounter with the real thing? That’s right: Arie surprises Krystal with the news that they’re going to meet his family! Though Mr. and Mrs. Arie weren’t super warm the last time they met one of Arie’s dates on TV (see: talking in front of Bachelorette Emily in Dutch), they do their best to endure Krystal’s breathy questioning about how they met.

Photo: ABC

“My mom loves you — I can tell,” Arie tells Krystal as they leave his parents’ home. As for his sister-in-law? I think this barely-repressed sigh speaks for itself.

Photo: ABC

At dinner, Arie invites Krystal to speak (“I want this also to be about you”) — specifically about her family and growing up. As we’ve learned from numerous confessionals, Krystal doesn’t have a close relationship with her family, and she’s nervous about revealing this to the Bachelor. Still, she soldiers on: “My dad wasn’t a part of my life, and my mom was there but was so emotionally unavailable — and I just really felt like my parents didn’t want me.”

Dayum, that’s rough. Krystal goes on tell Arie about the day her brother called her from the hospital after getting beaten up, and she learned he had been living on the streets. The Bachelor assures Krystal that her difficult upbringing doesn’t “reflect negatively” on her, and that he’s not put off by her struggles. In fact, says Arie, he specifically brought Krystal to meet his family in order to ease his mother’s mind about the types of women he would be dating on the show. “You are amazing,” he concludes, handing over the date rose.

Did you have “awkward private concert by (mostly) unknown artist” on your Bachelor bingo game? Time to stamp that card!

Photo: ABC

Maybe next time, Connor.

On to the group date — which is so large Team Bachelor had to hire a tractor-trailer limo to fit all the women inside. Maquel, Marikh, Tia, Valerie, Annaliese, Lauren G., Kendall, Bekah, Jenny, Sienne, Jenna, Caroline, Brittany, Bibiana, [giant gasp for air] and Chelsea bounce out of the truck in their cute athleisure gear and are greeted by Arie, who drives up in a spray-painted beater

He briefs the “ladies” on demolition derby ground rules, and then sends them off to spray paint their cars. To their credit, some of the women get pretty creative with their designs. Winner:

Photo: ABC

Runner-up:

Photo: ABC

Unfortunately Annaliese can’t stop crying; it seems she had a traumatic experience with bumper cars as a child — which Team Bachelor promptly illustrates, nightmare-dream-sequence style.

Photo: ABC

“A bumper car trauma?” scoffs Jenny, one of the 17 blondes on the date. “I didn’t know that bumper car trauma is a thing.” Damn right it is, toots! Especially if it gets Arie to come over and comfort the still-weeping Annaliese one-on-one. The girl’s no fool.

Naturally Chris Harrison is there — along with racecar driver Robby Gordon — to do the color commentary for the “Bashelor Demolition Derby.” And damn, the host isn’t holding back. “So could this be the first time that Arie actually wins something on a race track?”

Photo: ABC

When the air horn blows, the women hit the gas. Suddenly Annaliese transforms from a weepy wuss to a stunt driver in Death Race 2000: She rams into Chelsea, “t-bones” Kendall, and slams into Marikh, all while driving in reverse. “She’s crushing girls like it’s her job!” marvels Harrison. Several minutes of ear-splitting metal-on-metal action later, Seinne emerges victorious in the derby, beating out Raven 2. “Second place sucks d***,” she groans.

Though she didn’t last the longest, Brittany’s derby run was apparently so violent that she upset her own equilibrium, because by the time the after-party rolls around, she is not in attendance. “Brittany smashed everybody with her car,” explains Jenna, “and unfortunately can’t be here.” Hmmm… if Brittany’s going to let something like whiplash or a possible concussion stop her from competing for Arie, maybe she doesn’t really want to be married after all.

Immediately after the toast, Chelsea pulls Arie away for a private chat. It’s time for her to reveal her big secret: She has a 3-year-old son, Sammy! The Bachelor is unfazed, as he once fell for single mom Emily Maynard, and he even lived with a woman with two kids for over a year. “I know that it’s hard to be away [from your son],” says the Bachelor. “It makes me happy that you’re here and taking a chance on me.” Then he eats her face.

Photo: ABC

The women, on the other hand, aren’t so supportive. So what if Chelsea sacrificed time with her son to be here? All of them sacrificed something — like time away from posting on Instagram or posting homemade exercise videos on YouTube! “Everybody has a story,” notes Bibiana. Seinne’s, for instance, involves graduating from Yale, studying abroad in Brazil, and generally being far too good for this show/Arie. And he knows it: “I barely graduated high school and worked at Pizza Hut!” Of course, Arie isn’t going to let his insecurities stop him from macking on Seinne; when she attempts to pull away from their “thanks for the chat” hug, he keeps his arm firmly around her neck until she realizes the only means of escape is to kiss him.

Photo: ABC

As the night wears on, Bibiana — who was already irritable when the party began — grows ever more frustrated as woman after woman grabs Arie before she can. That is, if she’s even trying — we only ever see her sulking on the couch.

Photo: ABC

“I’m done,” she says with a pout, before stomping out of the room and slamming the door. Meanwhile…

Photo: ABC

“It was, like, really hot,” reports Bekah of her first smooch with the Kissing Bandit. Not hot enough, toots: Seinne gets the date rose!

Photo: ABC

Seinne is in it to win it, dawg.

Cocktail party time! Arie — who either is a true gentleman or just knows how to approximate one, I can’t decide — kicks off the night by seeking out Brittany T., to make sure she feels better after her demolition derby-related injury. She does, especially after the Bachelor gives her this:

Photo: ABC

We interrupt this recap to remind you that fur is gross, folks. Here’s hoping Bekah the nanny’s coat is faux.

Photo: ABC

“I lead with chemistry, and with Bekah, there’s a lot of that,” says Captain Obvious. “She’s bold and charismatic, and when we kiss, it was just apparent that she could be the whole package.” The whole package minus about 10 years, but why quibble?

After an intern surgically removes Arie from Bekah’s face, he gets accosted by Krystal, who feels it’s necessary to “follow up” with the Bachelor even though she already has a rose. As you can imagine, this does not go over well.

Photos: ABC

“I’m not worried,” breathes Krystal in her hyperventilating baby voice. “Some girls are a little weird, and some are very young, and some girls aren’t even there yet.” Which may be why she thinks it’s ok to interrupt Arie again while he’s talking to Bibiana, and you just know Bibi Gun is not about to lose her time tonight.

Krystal: “Do you mind if I step in for a moment?” Bibiana: “I actually do.”

The tension carries over into the house when Krystal foolishly (or as a calculated manipulation) comes and sits next to Bibiana. “I really think that you have a lot of balls just coming to sit down with us,” growls Bibi. “When you learn to speak to me like a normal human being and not with a fake tone, then I can actually respect you.” Then she does a dramatic interpretation of Krystal’s annoying personality.

Photo: ABC

When Krystal tries to protest that she was just “checking on” Bibiana, Miss Miami puts a stop to that real quick. “Baby girl, it’s not about checking. If I’m trying to talk to my man, you need to back the f**k up.” Naturally, Team Bachelor makes them stand next to each other at the rose ceremony.

Photo: ABC

Fortunately for Krystal, Bibiana — who warned that Krystal would have to “sleep with one eye open” if she got sent home — gets a rose. She joins Maquel, Jacqueline, Bekah M., Jenna, Chelsea, Lauren S., Raven 2, Annaliese, Lauren B., Kendall, Brittany, Ashley, Marikh, Caroline, Becca, Seinne and Krystal in the winners’ circle. That means we must say goodbye to Lauren G. (2 down, 2 to go!), Valerie, and Jenny… who takes it the hardest.

Photo: ABC

Ever the gentleman (or a jerk capable of impersonating a gentleman, I’m not sure), Arie goes after Jenny to comfort her in her time of nationally televised rejection. “I have to make tough choices,” he says. “And I just didn’t see it.” And Jenny’s all, Whatever, Old Man River. “I’m not sad about you,” she sniffs. “I’m sad about leaving my new friends.” Indeed, Jenny has never experienced rejection before, and she definitely does not enjoy it. “He literally picked a taxidermist over me,” she moans. “I just feel like I embarrassed myself.” Finally, Jenny and I agree on something.

And with that, rose lovers, we’re done with week two. (The “next week on” preview can be summed up in one word: Tears.) So tell me, do you think Arie’s a true gentleman or just playing one on TV? Does anyone else feel guilty about hating Krystal, given her tough upbringing? And why in the world would anyone ever want a pickled bat? Post your thoughts now! And be sure to check out Chris Harrison’s exclusive blog right here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get examined for whiplash… just in case.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

Ewan McGregor grilled backstage at Golden Globes about potential ‘Star Wars’ return

‘Bachelor Winter Games’ first look: A hot mess in the ice cold

2018 preview: The 50 movies we’re most excited to see

#_revsp:wp.yahoo.tv.us #recaps #_draft:true #the bachelor #_author:Kristen Baldwin #_uuid:06514bb9-aa3b-3517-a5f2-b6974f368db2 #_category:yct:001000086 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000AE7lXEAT

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devildove-blog · 7 years

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Twelve Wizard Paths Outside of The Nine Worlds (Poem)

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I'm a wizard, baby, meaning a very powerful magickian. I'm a jack of many trades, so this poem details what and how. Here I'll write about a few magickian's trades that apply to my position. After nearly two decades learning magick I'd better know a lot by now. Gaining the magickal power to claim this title takes time to reach in transition.

On my path were many adventures to have and lessons to learn. From reading books to meeting others and exploring the occult therein I figured it out for myself and in time the title of Wizard did earn. Years of learning religious teachings helped me understand being otherkin. Since I was a young boy defying my upbringing for magickal power I did yearn.

The power I have is a result of many factors I don't need to explain. But putting in time and energy to my craft for a long time played a key role. I have thick skin so I don't mind if you view my pride here with disdain. Yet the poetry's here to explain my path not to brag or to try to save your soul. The 12 paths of Wizardry explained here are more obscure to people mundane.

I'm a yogi, baby, and this is some kind of ancient Pagan stuff. This is a time honoured tradition taking more time to apply than to learn. This path requires much patience, time and energy to master well enough. Years of chakras, mantras, mudras, meditation and more will in time power earn. In time weakness fades and strength is gained, and a wise Yogi hides being tough.

Learning from a Koga ninja this Kuji Kiri psychic yoga is how my path will start. Spending years meditating with these mudras, in time I grow strong. Yoga has many uses, and magickal and psychic power gained is just one part. Ignore the doubters and mockers calling my religion fantasy who string you along. Muggles can foolishly assume it all comes from cartoons like Naruto's ninja art.

I can do more than I'll say here; let it an enigma be. Not everything I experience happens while I'm in my body, you see? This transcendentalist religious belief in time proves itself a rational reality. Muggles often just assume others foreign sounding religious beliefs are fantasy. Letting the muggles think it's not real is often a wise strategy.

I'm healer, baby, and more advanced than many. I can fix medical problems other healers and sometimes even doctors can't fix. Hold my hand, feel the energy, and let me free you from any suffering you have with real healing magick, not illusionary tricks. Unlike con artists making money with tricks healing has never earned me a penny.

Empath healing magick described next may be misunderstood too. Speak of your heart's pain, and let me feel an intense amount. I'll cover my eyes to hide my tears, and I could do well to hide that I'm paying a price of pain on your account. If you felt guilty about hurting me you'd never let me heal you, would you?

Now words of wisdom I can speak guiding you on a path new that the energy of your pain gives me the inspiration to share. Now your pain is forever less or gone, because I paid a price of pain for you. The price empath healers pay is much less than the great suffering it can spare. Once this price is paid, there's no more pain for either of us to go through.

I'm a magus, baby, part priest and part mage. I don't preach to the masses; I'd rather use magick to help others. Here we go and here we go again as my pen sets the stage. I'm rollin' with muggles here I for some reason call sisters and brothers. I'm using my magick for some cause here, as life's book turns a new page.

You can call me The Fool, and I can wear many a mask. I live to serve, and my joy is to create joy for others, you see? The deities I work with can help me with many a magickal task. Being a magus is also the path of self, and there's much power in just me. For what reason do some deities help me, but not most humans who ask?

Magi is plural for Magus, and implications of royalty are here. American citizenship requires denouncing royal ranks. Yet the Magus's path is a religious construct, so have no fear. I ain't here to rule and reign. I just want to earn some thanks. With teamwork muggles can help me fix problems, and happy endings are near.

I'm a necromancer, baby, so don't tell 'em what's true. Don't stab me in the back by being seen publicly expressing to me your love and gratitude for how I used magick to help you. People value my discretion, so don't prove to Fools my power's validity. I'm happy to meet a fan, but I don't desire the public credit that seems due.

In a necromancer's trade being misunderstood is often how it goes. If I show up after sunset in a graveyard I'll bring my tools. Be cool, man. All I got here is a stick of incense, a bloodstone and a rose. Signs and wonders performed here are kept hidden from the Fools. If you hear the dead hiss or moan as I wake them, stay on your toes.

Muggles, necromancers and the dead all are not very forgiving when some Fool sacrifices an animal in a graveyard. That newb shit pisses off the dead even more than the living. Those Fools piss off necromancers too, making our work hard. I'm there only once to offer any dead willing the contracts I'm giving.

I'm a warlock, baby, an ancient term misunderstood but real. I'll use my power for a good cause and call it doing the thing. The power of war is implied in this word, and I'm the real deal. Let me be occult as I'm guided under a Red Dragon's wing. Tattooed on my back of my left hand is an modified AGLA hexagram seal.

Separation of church and state is a Masonic ideal as is the freedom of religion allowing warlocks to operate. Yet in the occult world there's much hidden in this religious ordeal. As time goes on interpretation of these ideals are open to debate. These balances lacking harmony result in Nobody caring how minorities feel.

To work well with others a warlock needs harmony found working on common ground. The warlock's path has traps, education, judgment and more. If warlock means deceiver does this even mean as it may sound? Who would ever suspect deception to be a humble protector's moral chore? Whether good or evil, eventually every warlock's karma comes back around.

I'm a creator, baby, and like the Ace of Wands I've got the power of fire. Watch me burn bridges faster than you may know with this poem like a pro. My divine, holy, infernal, celestial and gothic flames make creation transpire. I move these flames through 5 primary elements and through more than you know. Fools take a stranger's word unwisely, but fans of my work learn I'm no liar.

When I posted my non-hermetic psychopian elemental system theology online I clearly cited Plato as the source inspiring what I'm parroting thereof. When I don't fit into other mages' labels so called experts pop up to whine. Baby I have access to elements most mages don't, and many aren't even aware of. When it seems wise to do so from time to time I share created power of mine.

Be cool, man, and let the doubters and mockers doubt and mock all they want. Muggles do it most, but it's all arbitrary until they create danger and fear. Interpret my pride on these wizard paths as you will as my talents I flaunt. If you think I'm earning respect by bragging you don't see what's happening here. It's easy to misunderstand the reason behind my rhyme and what I really want.

I'm an occultist, baby, and I study things hidden. The occult hides the magickal, religious, esoteric and things of earthly power. Only so much is found in books, and Fools don't understand the forbidden. I have a couple cards to play, still surprising many by never facing The Tower. Fools rush in where wise men never go for reasons they don't know, no kiddin'.

I've got a weird way of speaking here understood clearly by a few. I'm not the first occultist to be intentionally obscure to most of you. I've got that occult fame in secret circles for better or worse. Who knew? If you're a fan of my work don't ruin the show explaining this path I go through. Don't judge a book by its cover; in time an occultist's work is paid karma due.

I'm The Fool, The Magus, The Devil and even the Hierophant from time to time. The Magus card comes from the THOTH deck, used by me for reasons unsuspected. If I call myself The Devil would you just assume I live an evil life of crime? The Devil is Rider Waite though, so my chains are often with gratitude accepted. I deal these tarot cards as the lesson of my occult strengths in this rhyme.

I'm a Dog of Reason, baby, so named in the memory of harmony true. We've got memes and shit, and things we do to build a New World. From chaos comes Order, a lesson taught and learned in time and time again too. The occult can be a dangerous thing, yet we've no banner to be unfurled. These wizard-dawgs work for one love for humanity to do the thing we do.

This ain't no criminal organization or some kinda terror shit. This is one of many parts of my greater dreams and ambitions. Membership is by invitation only, so if you're motivated prove it. We ain't thelemites, baby, and with great power comes some terms and conditions. Some want more time to work, and others want more time to Fool around a bit.

I'll share some magick and theology online from time to time. The gospel of figure it out for yourself is dogma as my theology already shew. Dogs of Reason have two commandments in this religion, besides avoiding crime. Seemingly a joke if unexplained, yet truth is hidden in plain site to you. Is the illusion of a joke as real dogma even dispelled to most with this rhyme?

I'm a cyber-mage, baby, like these chaos mages in a way. I've had training and practice on this path I've been on since 2003 when I joined the TIAMAT Cyber-Magick News-list back in the day. I've spent years evolving my craft, and now have things to share for all to see. My joy is to bring you joy so follow me and I'll lead the way.

My cyber-magick is all safe and fun to use, and there's nothing to be afraid of. Free Magick Enterprises gives two projects of cyber-magick. Let my star evolve your heart chakra, and experience new love. Take the red pill, and this devil can even remove your unwanted chains so tragic. No money will be accepted, so forget about the price tag from this devil dove.

Here come the doubters and mockers; Thinly veiled saying: "I'm better than you." I don't have time to be lectured by these Fools that Cyber-magick isn't real. Participate or don't, but Bhakti Yogi say the proof is in the pudding if you do. We did lots of experiments and testing with group input in this TIAMAT deal. I learned a lot and had years of practice to develop cyber-magick that's new.

I'm an alchemist, baby, and I got the mad transformation skills for the physical and spiritual nature of substances, souls and magick too. Sure, man, let the weaker mages brag about the power to destroy and their kills. Alchemy's sacred transformation art is beyond what they know how to do. Like Yoga, this power's about time and effort on this path not cheap thrills.

I'm on a quest to not just learn new magick, but to make it evolve. I'll purify forbidden black magicks citing the great work of the ages as my cause to create that which before did not exist and otherwise unending problems solve. Alchemy's art of creation may come with a price, so beware of that because. To purify the corrupt may corrupt the pure, but balance a price paid to absolve.

With Alchemy I can create joy and harmony, and I like to work for free. Alchemists of old claimed they might turn lead to gold as part of their plan so a King would protect their right to practice and pay their research's fee instead of explaining occult arts involved that matter not to the common man. This misunderstood art involves more and includes transformation spiritually.

I'm left hand path, baby, and yes it's really true. Different people, mostly mages, find different meanings therein. The left hand path most simply put means just to be taboo. What hand is my tattoo on then? Baby, that's secretly a Talisman. Let's turn back the clock of time to understand meanings old and new.

This term comes from India if you'll study history that far. Originally this insult started to describe Tantric Yoga when first created. The dark ages belief explaining its meaning that left handed people are morally and intellectually weaker than the right has since become outdated. The more things change the more they stay the same until someone raises the bar.

In modern times the left hand insult resurfaces metaphorically. Now embraced by many eager to be shunned by society the left hand path evolves into its own mentality. From a religious reference to basic views on morality the devil is implied on this path either literal or symbolically.

I'm a trickster, baby, and that's an occult magick path. I'll teach you lessons mostly harmless so don't take them personally. If I see chaos I may create order; see my results to do the math. I'm an educational experience; I guess I'm like this inherently. Mistake my kindness for weakness and will you get forgiveness or wrath?

I was born this way, and I'm not going through a phase as others are. When I started calling myself The Fool, that would have been your first clue. I've got metaphors like dark disguises and masks that take me far. I live to serve, and there's a method to the madness; it's true. Pride and humility working together in harmony help trickery raise the bar.

In the occult only so much is learned online or in a book. As an occultist trickster this rule applies to me the same. I'll capture the essence of my story in the poems for those who look. Here lies the story of my path as a Wizard and why this title I claim. These 12 titles of magickal paths explain why the 13th title of Wizard I took.

I'm a Wizard, Baby, just like I said before. I'm a wordsmith here sharing this path with you. As the tale comes to the end of this rhyme's chore the tip of the iceberg has been revealed to view. Muggles may take interest in this poem, or was it just a bore?

I guess doubters gonna doubt and mockers gonna mock. In the end it's always what I do and not what I say that shows my true strength. If you've walked the paths I walk you may better understand that of which I talk. I've got dreams and goals hopefully soon reached at arm's length. In Chinese Astrology not surprisingly I'm born in the year of the cock.

My story doesn't end with this poem, and my life goes on still. There's still more adventures to have, power to gain and knowledge to learn. There's still people to meet, places to go and things to do as I wilt and will. This poem describes the path, but is not in itself how a Wizard's respect I gain. If you wanted to understand my magickal path, this poem shall your wish fulfill

#poem #poetry #ftf #find the fool #occult #occultist #the magus #the fool #magic #magick

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spotlightsaga · 7 years

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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… Chewing Gum (S02E03) I Just Need Some Company Airdate: January 26, 2017 (UK) April 4, 2017 (US) Ratings: (U.K. Unknown) @netflix Score: 8/10

**********SPOILERS BELOW**********

What must go on in Michaela Coel’s brain to bring us this finished product of British Excellence… Chewing Gum is like one bizarre trip after another. Yet underneath all the insanity is this really beautiful, personal, and never before seen perspective (not like this) that I simply can’t get enough of. Not everyone here at Spotlight Saga knows how to take it, at least at first… I threw it on after binge watching Netflix’s ‘Love’ and I actually got a groan from one in particular and the person basically said, 'While you guys cover this I’m going to run out and grab everyone some drinks and whatnot.’ That person never left, not until the episode was over. No matter how hard you fight it, Chewing Gum will pull you in and won’t let you go. I just thought it was hilarious that the person who was against us watching the show ended up staying around and laughing the hardest… It must be Tracey’s uncanny resemblance to Beyoncé… You know, at certain angles! 🤣

Michaela Coel continues to team up with Director Simon Neal to create both this even more outrageous 2nd Season of the show & of course this particular episode, 'I Just Need Some Company’. The result is slightly different from S1, it feels a bit more chapterized, which a lot of shows seem to be doing these days. We start the episode finding out that Connor has a girlfriend and Tracey isn’t too happy about it, referring to her as a 'hyena mixed with a camel’. Boy Tracey seems to have long gotten over Tracey and invites her to a club, that ends up being somewhere between a fetish bar and a swingers club. Meanwhile Joy’s 'Christian Ministry’ validity is questioned by a nosy councilwoman who is the definition of uptight. Of course all the characters in 'Chewing Gum’ are very much caricatures, and while this may work against other series, this approach only enhances Michaela’s over the top storytelling style.

Joy along with her brother must convince this council woman that they are a legit church worthy of their space… And Tracey, is in her feelings attempting to lose her virginity, thinking that everyone thinks that she’s ugly. Her friends tell her she’s 'niche’, which is absolutely hilarious… And while I can laugh at this, I know that Michaela Coel is great at making comedy out of important issues, embracing the absurdity of it all, yet still treating these issues with the respect they deserve… And body image for all shapes and sizes and tones and colors is something that is very much at the top of my list when it comes to real human issues.

Turns out that Boy Tracey is actually still very much in love with his cousin and this whole sex club bit was a hilariously bad, I’ll-conceived, failed attempt at gaining the attention of Tracey. This is both comforting and absolutely disgusting to Tracey all in one, especially when it ends in Boy Tracey jumping in a pool to try to stop his very first ejaculation, which doesn’t work at all… And both Tracey’s are shown swimming next to the ejaculate just floating in the pool. Michaela Coel, always pushing the limits!

No 'Chewing Gum’ episode would be complete without a heart to heart, monologue/speech to everyone in the room about whatever Tracey has learned. In this particular episode, Tracey gains a little more confidence and self respect after she learns that all the men in the club aren’t allowed to approach the women, the women can only approach the men. Michaela and women like her have probably been told their whole life that they are too dark, too angular, too this, too that… As a redhead, and 'soulless ginger’ I can identify. I was athletic in high school but it didn’t matter too much to some, because no matter what I wasn’t white or anything else… I was a 'Ginger’ and that’s all they saw. I remember a guy, who was very attractive at that time in high school, at a football game laughing at a joke I had cracked, as I always used humor as a sort of shield and an icebreaker at the same time. He finished laughing and then looked at me square in the eyes and told me, 'Damn Dawg, you are so fucking ugly.’ Hey Man, hey, right here… I’ve seen your pics. You aren’t all that, but there’s something to be said about people that peak in high school… I could pick you apart limb for limb, shorty man-child, who most would have trouble picking out of a crowd, but I don’t want anyone to feel like you made me feel that day. And anyway… Beauty is subjective. The women of color are told they are too dark… The red headed white boys are told they are too white, freckles are ugly, etc. But really, all of those people who tell you that are too anything, no matter what that anything is, are drowning in insecurities themselves. That boy who told me that in high school travels the world as a chef, and I’m willing to bet he would feel bad if he knew how much that moment affected me… But I’m telling you right now, he is the epitome of plain, he may have an exotic life in travel, but those looks didn’t last… Tho, I’m sure someone out there will eventually see whatever beauty is left in him, as there is someone out there for everyone.

Michaela Coel, you are a beautiful woman of color… Angular and 'niche’, but I guess I’m 'niche’ too… Im a thick Ginger Cub and my confidence that I didn’t fully take on until after high school, speaks for itself anyway. I’m pretty fn’ white with a beard as red as a Cardinal, so what? To the younger ones watching, reading… To the adults who still struggle looking in the mirror and have no idea how beautiful they really are or what they are worth… Don’t let anyone make you feel anything less than beautiful… And if they do, give it a few years and you’ll see whatever they had at that time, physically, well it doesn’t last forever. Be you. Be beautiful. Be humble. Pass it on. And for god sakes, try really hard to not fuck your cousins!

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dailybestiary · 8 years

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Hundun

What up, dawgs? Where my giant, monkish aspects of the gaping, formless void that preceded the creation of the multiverse at?!?

Wow. I really just typed that.

So yeah, part of the above sentence comes from Bestiary 5’s description of the hundun, and part does not. (I’ll leave you to guess which was which.) According to Wikipedia, the hundun comes from one of the murkier realms of Chinese mythology—and I do mean that “murkier” literally; the words “hundun” and “wonton” (as in the soup) share an origin—involving primordial chaos, the World Egg, an ancient son of a fiendish emperor, a being called Mr. Chaos…you get the idea. It’s complicated.

Pathfinder’s hundun narrows and—kind of?—clarifies this concept into a race of Large-sized, faceless, skin-robed monks devoted to (and who are likely an expression of the longing for) the void that existed before the multiverse. Got that? Good.

I think hunduns deserve to be treated like a Big Deal. After all, they’re CR 21 and get the two-page spread treatment—that alone indicates that they’re powerful and important. (Two-page spreads are giant boulders in the otherwise limpid river of Bestiary entries, which means that @wesschneider and the rest of the Paizo editing/design team give them extra attention.) Hunduns also just plain interesting for a host of reasons: They’re truly Big Bads from a non-Western mythology. Their existence suggests alien gods, but those gods aren’t known to us. They live on the Negative Energy Plane but aren’t undead. They use gravity, spacetime, and strange attraction as weapons, like something simultaneously out of a science textbook and a Dr. Strange comic. They hate all creatures of law, but they also think proteans (and probably demons, too) are wusses. Their bizarre staves are, simply put, effed up. And don’t even think about trying to read one’s mind.

So if you’re looking to do one of those campaigns with a Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or latter-day Harry Dresden kind of ending, where strange hooded figures are trying to unmake existence itself…well, these guys are your huckleberries.

There’s another reason I like these monsters which is a bit esoteric and nitpicky, but bear with me: I like hunduns because they are ineffable agents of premultiversal chaos that don’t come from Lovecraft.

Don’t get me wrong—I love Lovecraft. I have his annotated works sitting on my to-read table, I occasionally pick up the love-letter-to-Lovecraft comic Providence, and I’m thoroughly enjoying Pathfinder’s current Adventure Path, Strange Aeons, being developed by @thedaigle himself.

But. But. Because of all that…and the re-release of Call of Cthulhu…and all the Mythos-inspired board games out there…we are currently at peak Lovecraft. We don’t need any more at the moment. Plus, Lovecraft homages tend to have their own gravity and logic. Lovecraftian adventures also have a way of trumpeting that they are such. It’s pretty rare, for instance, to have one Lovecraftian monster in an adventure…there will always be two or more, plus shrieks of “Iä!”, references to R’lyeh, and Yellow Sign graffiti. That’s perfectly fine in Strange Aeons, where exploring Lovecraftian tropes is the point, but in other adventures it often feels like an interruption. We wouldn’t let such obvious IP shout-outs as Jedi and Vulcans into our games, but we don’t blink at shoggoths—even when we probably should.

So as much as I love Lovecraft, I also have really begun to dig works where references to the Great Old Ones and other Lovecraftiana are more seamlessly integrated. For instance, I love the aforementioned recent Harry Dresden novels involving Outsiders. Ditto, I love the presentation of the Old Ones in Anthony Horowitz’s The Gatekeepers series (though I haven’t listened to the last book yet)—the whole pentad manages to be indebted to Lovecraft without ever aping him or referencing Cthulhu et al. That’s a pretty neat trick.

So why do I like hunduns? Because they offer another way of getting to notions of Chaos and alien gods without going through Lovecraft. And they also offer new connective tissue that helps connect the Mythos into the mythology stew that is the rest of Pathfinder. In the same way the fey umbrella embraces Greek satyrs and Welsh pookas without straining, hunduns give us sinews that join Azathoth to Bestiary 2’s sceaduinars to Bestiary 3’s imperial dragons, all in the same universe. In short, hunduns let us have lovecraftian adventures, not just LOVECRAFTian ones. And I am all for it.

After great struggle and clashes in two solar systems, adventurers defeat a void dragon in its lair. Among the wyrm’s many outlandish and alien treasures they discover a primordial egg that seems to have its own gravity. Unfortunately, the slaying of the void dragon was the trigger destined to hatch the embryonic hundun inside…

Adventurers have faced a strange array of creatures—wayward, wizard-slaying homunculi, masterless skum, mad lunar naga mediums, even the arrogant, libertarian dorvaes—and time and time again, signs point to a puppet master pulling the strings, a being known as Unraveling Hope. Eventually the adventurers’ search takes them to a dying planet shard, a gaping vortex to the Negative Energy Plane, and Unraveling Hope itself, a hundun about to sacrifice the dark planetoid to an even darker god.

Ever since an accident marked one of their number with a mathematically precise, swirling sigil, an adventuring band has had ties to the axiomites and the Planes of Law. Thus they have heard rumors of a new scholar come to stay at the Harmonious Academy of the Rule, a strange inevitable-like sage. Upon the recommendation of a suspicious ally, they attend a public lecture given by this mechanical master. There they witness the sage describe a calculus function that not only does not describe any known arithmetic or phenomenon…but actually undescribes it right before their eyes. The inevitable-like body hides a hundun inside, and the hundun’s function of unmaking begins to spread across the Academy campus like whitewash across the mural of logical existence.

—Pathfinder Bestiary 5 144–145

Apparently Kobold Press's Dark Roads & Golden Hells has an alternate take on the hundun. I own it but haven't read it yet. #theusualpatchproblem

Speaking of #patchproblems, one of my readers was a bit critical of my recent bath disaster, writing:

Sounds like you need to be more careful with your things…

Ouch, burn! Said reader clearly doesn’t know how anal I am with my books—I drive friends and significant others nuts. But this was an unfamiliar bathtub and I was exhausted—a bad combo on the best of days.

(Also I should stress that I found James’s tweet to be thematically appropriate and funny. If you’ve read his book, you know why.)

Grrrr…I knew there was a better photo for the heresy devil floating around somewhere, but my New Year’s accommodation’s lousy Internet kept getting in the way and I gave up. I wanted to link to this one.

Looking for the horn caterpillar? It’s back here.

#pathfinder #paizo #3.5 #dungeons & dragons #dungeons and dragons #d&d #dnd #hundun #aberration

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alexexperiments · 4 years

Text

An Email to You

Cold Open.

*You, the reader, have just opened an email in a long string of emails. You’re an above average human living in a world that hasn’t acknowledged that yet. The emails are just one of a number of tasks you are expected to handle before your focus is free to aim at will, but for now, emails.

You mostly delete them and rarely do you pass anything on to your boss even though it’s your job.

Expecting another “Hi, I’m Chorpy Dunkaroo, let me tell you all about.. blah…blah..

*mark as junk*

*delete*, you notice this one is different.

“Cold Open? I know what that is! This letter is really speaking my language!”, and so you, the reader of this email, hunkers down, accepts the call to adventure, has a quick mental debate about oxford commas, and then plots to push through to the end.

“We’ll see about THAT”, you think to yourself, “This email isn’t going to tell me what to do! I’ve got bigger shit to worry about, like bills, personal relationships, emotional problems, fighting against a system that seems designed to hold me back just to attain a tiny taste of self fulfillment, and work relatio…”

A notification chimes your attention away. A colleague from your office messaged, “Yo, I think you’re right. This place is pure garbage and if I have to go back to the same bullshit after all this is over, I’m going to snap and lose all hope! I’ve been flipping through the old Sumerian Runes at the library as well as a number of the Dead C Scrolls, and then cross referencing with WikiLeaks and I know this might sound crazy but, I think it could be completely possible to write a uniquely powerful email capable of grabbing attention, showing off talent, conveying value, and convincing to take action… One just has to believe in themselves and others. Please hear me out. We can meet up later if you want.”

“Jesus Christ. This feels contrived”, you mutter as you ignore the message in disbelief, “Pfft. Nothing in life is that easy.”

Opening Credits: Email written and directed by Alex Van Almsick

Returning to the email you realize you’re reading the email. There was no message, that was just part of the email.. “Stupid”, you think, “This isn’t going any..”

A Video Chat alert is going off and it’s that same work colleague. You answer.

“It says it was delivered, it says you read it, so why aren’t you responding? I almost expected you to refuse the call, so I appreciate that at the least.”

The email says you say, ”Look, it feels like you’re talking about some sort of magical mumbo jumbo. I’m not trying to pretend like I know everything, but I’ve been around long enough to know that there are people with the goals of holding others back. Because it’s easier to deal with the lack of real choice in life when you can look down at the mound of people you stand on rather than up at the mountain of bodies you’ve been piled into.. And there are also enough of those people that I can guarantee I encounter at least a handful, no matter what path I try to go down, no matter what attitude I reflect. And if I’m being honest.. When you can see something is so broken that it probably won’t survive any more damage, you tend to choose paths with the least chance of damage, no matter how unfulfilling they may be.”

Your colleague is taken back. They stare at you for a moment through the screen before saying, “Well that’s just a shitty way to live. Maybe can you pretend? Maybe just let me tell you what I do…”

“Sure, what do YOU do? But also make sure to explain how IF this is so useful, why you’re stuck in the same dead end job as me…”, you retort, in the email at least.

“Well, because you’re judging my accomplishments against YOUR goals instead of MY goals… Is this job the best? Definitely not… Am I working on something else? Yep… but to me, the job is just a fuel source for my goals, which is what I really care about. You, on the other hand, have ambition in other areas. You want to write for television and movies, right? Tell stories? Which I’ll admit does make it more complicated since your goal then is in and of itself a fuel source, hence it forces you to balance both in the same choice. My values end up based on the approval of my family, where as yours cast a much wider range that includes everyone who partakes in content.. which is basically everyone…”, rambles your colleague.

“For fuck sake. If I wanted to have someone analyze my life, I’d visit my parents.”

“Here… try it or not, but when I want something… I imagine all the steps along the way. All the people involved. All the luck I might need. and I pretend that I AM all those steps and all those people… I become a metaphor for each step and live that”, your colleague goes on like some sort of mystical dream child, “Let’s say I want to go camping and so I need my significant other to agree… I set the idea in motion.. and then I pretend I’m them… and if I’m approached about something someone else wants, I become a metaphor for accepting plans presented by others and I say yes… and it IS like I’m doing a magic trick.. but all I know is that it works, whether I know HOW or not…”

You respond, “It sounds like when you say you agree to anything someone else wants, that’s probably just always your partner and then because you did them a favor, they do you a favor..”

A voice is heard in the background of the video call and your colleague saying to someone, “yes! definitely! sounds great!!” before they come back to the camera, “call it whatever you want, try it or don’t, but I’m telling you it could help… and if you don’t want to go back to the same shit different day after quarantine, then I don’t see what the harm is… but hey.. it was great talking to you. I’ve got to go… ”

The video call ends with whatever noise your video conferencing app of choice makes.

Another day, another paragraph, and the stuff your metaphorical colleague was saying in this email starts to get to you. They’re right. Who would even know if you tried it and looked stupid? It’s no different than checking to see if Bloody Mary actually comes when you say her name 3 times. So you go to your computer desk and find, for some odd, totally unexplained reason, your laptop has been moved into a different room?

Crossing the threshold into the other room, you feel a chill as you pop open a text editor and go to town on the first draft of an email.

You start over. That one sucked.

The next few suck.

They all suck.

You sound like a whiney child who wants everything and has nothing to say about why they might deserve it!

In your head, it always sounds incredible, but by the time you sit down to write it, you’ve boiled a lot of it down into only a handful of sentences that will get no more attention than a tweet from an egg icon. You know you have the skills to construct amazing story circles and develop heartfelt characters, but how does one show it until they’ve done it??

This is all stuff you’re thinking…

I don’t have to tell you that…

I’m just making sure you know that I know...

You give up on this whole email business and start macrodosing shrooms and fucking a rolled up towel on the daily, until an afternoon where the Salvatore Dali poster you have of a pixelated Abraham Lincoln gains sentience and starts talking to you.

“I freed the slaves you know?”

You respond, “yea, but that was like four score and..

“NO.. that’’s not.. *sigh* nevermind.. I don’t think you really understa.. nevermind… So, what’s up bud? Weren’t you trying to get yourself out of a rut? What happened there?”

“What do you mean?”, you ask..

“What do you mean, what do I mean? You’re tripping balls, yo! I’m a fucking poster that’s communicating with you? Your subconscious is obviously screaming for help!”

“You’re right.. fuck.”

“We’re right.. don’t sweat it pal… Do you think maybe you’re scared?”, comforts the poster.

“Not scared of the thing, but scared of how I’ll react to the struggle to attain it. Scared that the path to get there has been lined with so many traps and compromises that the me who would arrive at the end might have had to give so much of themself up that they aren’t the same person.. I don’t want to lose myself to the climb!”

“I think that if you just sit at the bottom of the steps your whole life, you’ll get to a point where you’re missing out on more than you’re saving yourself from. Look at me. I knew people hated me. People LOVED owning other people and bossing them around and I changed all that. Of course the richest of them figured out a way to keep doing it on a massive scale down the road, but my point here is this.. I could have stayed locked in away in my house to stay safe from my haters. Admittedly, the world has a majority of haters these days, there will always be haters, but if you avoid the haters you’ll miss all the plays… does that make sense?”

“Like you said, I’m tripp.. WE’RE tripping balls here. You’re a surrealist painting that I’m using as exposition for an inner debate.. So sure.. it makes as much sense as it’s going to…”, you’re really leaning into this conversation.

“If you want my advice, and you do, or else I wouldn’t be saying this, you should work out..”, says Honest Abe.

“WHAT?”, you blurt. This poster is missing the point.

“No, like, work out your mental skills. Utilize them in everything. You say you’re good at stories? Flex them guns dawg.”, Abraham puts on a pair of shades and tilts them down so he can see you over the top before shooting a finger gun at you and winking.

You sit in silence contemplating. Honest Abe might be on to something…

Maybe I should just flex my guns…

You think to yourself, “oh is that what this email is? flexing? wow. what a freaking dweeb.. but I’ll stay to see how this all plays out.”

You run over to the poster and hold your hand out, “I really appreciate you spending the time to talk this through.. You’re like an all knowing Goddess!”

“You know I can see what you’re doing, and I’m worried about how you’re going to react when you see how blatant you’re being about the story circle.. For fuck sake, now I’m doing it.. And hey, I know you had this whole thing brewing before that damn train episode of Rick and Morty, but I’m just not sure anyone else is going to believe that.. I’m just saying.. No Worries. Do what you want. Take it or leave it… Just make sure you get it right… or you’ll pay the price…” says the painting as the mushrooms wear off.

Sitting there reading this goddamn clusterfuck, you think, “oh come on, it’s not that bad. I’m having a good time. It’s a bit.. i don’t know, but it’s got it’s merits.. I’m still paying attention..”

Reassured, you start to put words to screen.

Referencing common TV terminology and structure you set a meta tone and realize immediately that this is going to seem like you’re just ripping off other popular things.. How do you show that you’re not copying, you’re likeminded? Yea, I guess if you’re lazy, that’s how. And sure, let’s pretend snide meta commentary will cover up that fact… We really are doubling down on this aren’t we? Fine, but four self commentary sentences is the MAXIMUM!

You finish the email (writing it).

You feel accomplished. You feel proud. You feel real possibilities. SOMEONE.. at least SOMEONE will like it and pass it up the flagpole and maybe, just maybe, more than maybe actually, I’m hoping probably, will see something in you and take a chance. Although, as we both know after finishing this doozy of an email that it wouldn’t be a chance they were taking.. it would be an obvious choice. ;)

Your goal is to reach out to your personal idol. Having watched his shows and podcast over the years, you found hope in the fact that this person who has very similar thought processes and problems and drives and interests as you was able to accomplish great things in the world. Which is just to say, it proves that x+y can = success!

You search for a number of contacts and send it out with your fingers crossed.

You finish the email (reading it).

“God Almighty, what in the world is this? This is not how we hire writers!”

But before clicking delete, you stop and think about the email you wrote..

You look down and your fingers are still crossed…

You think about the advice of your work colleague… To become the steps, they said.

You think about how you would feel if your email that you spent hours crafting was simply deleted.

You think about that person who is sifting through the mailbox containing YOUR email…

You ARE that person.

You don’t become them, you always were them, we always have been, and although we normally might delete it and save ourselves any additional hassle, this time we don’t.

“I am my own gatekeeper”, you whisper to yourself in realization as you click to forward this email and you add a number of the people who could make dreams happen. You even type out a little note saying something nice about it, encouraging them to give it and the writer a chance. You’ve been there yourself and if you can be the step for this person to succeed, then someone else will be the step for me to succeed!

You click send.

You respond to the writer of the email with a heartfelt reply.

A moment of self reflection follows where you question everything. Wait.. You never email those people like that.. let alone throw in your own two cents!?!?!?..

OH NO!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!?!

Moments later you receive a phone call from corporate. They explain that emailing directly to those contacts is strictly not allowed and, in fact, you are to be fined millions of dollars for the transgression.

This comes as a huge bummer. You really payed the price for that. You only had a few million in the bank, so you had to grab some cash from the floor safe (the small one with just spending money, not the large safe with the backup spending money). After all is said and done you almost vomit to find you’re only in the triple digits.

But you know what? You hated that job anyway, so you quit… It’s liberating. Maybe your colleague wasn’t right about his weirdo hippy “be the steps” bullshit, but something good could definitely be made from all this.

Soon enough though, you run out of money. You need to support yourself. Society doesn’t care if you’re happy. So you start applying for jobs. This is actually worse than it was before. Why THE FUCK did you even decide to change anything you fucking PIECE OF SHIT!! We used to be comfortable!! You’re stuck at home all day every day now and your rent is about to be 3 months overdue!

Interrupting your negative thoughts is a phone call from your mother. She wants to know how you’re doing? Have you found another job yet? Stop striving for your dreams, reach for something attainable! But she has a question… There’s this new pool cleaning service nearby that nobody has used yet, but she’s thinking they look like they know what they’re doing and what do you think? Should she give them a shot, hoping for equal or better service or stick with the well known company that is at least a guaranteed OK job?

Because at this point you get the concept, you tell her to go with the new company because the new company is you.

She doesn’t understand, “the company is YOU? you’re not making any sense darling. did you start a pool cleaning service near me? I thought you lived out of state!”

“No mom.. nevermind. but hire the new guys, they’re going to be even better than you can imagine!”, you reassure her.

“ok well thank you.. i love you so much, ill talk to you this weekend.. you know we’re thinking of going up to the cabin? did i say that?”

“bye mom”, you say.

“bye honey! if you want I can bring you some of the firewood we have up there! we’re really never going to use it al…”

“no.. mom. you’re not supposed to transport firewood.”

“not supposed to, what? that’s ridiculous! I can just throw it in the car!”

“it’s because of the bugs, mom. I’m fine! I don’t need firewood. I’ll talk to you later!”

“ok buh bye honey. love you bye.. ok bye..”

And, as we all can expect by now… you get a call or an email or something from someone offering you a chance to put your skills to good use and actually feel useful and valuable for once in your life.

A real chance at something…

My name is Alex Van Almsick, I’ve been reverse engineering films and tvs shows since I was a kid. When I was 10, I told my mother who was in fear of Truman dying on the sailboat in The Truman show, that he was the main character and so there was no way they would kill him. This led me to have a better palette for expectation and subverting it.. The more you watch movies and Tv, the more the patterns emerge and the easier it is to get bored.. I’ve always been a fan of pushing harder to achieve something of better quality and pushing past previous boundaries.

I appreciate you reading through to the end and hope to hear from you.

my email is [email protected]

my phone number is **********(although i get so many spam calls its hard to answer any, so leave a message if thats what you prefer)

and if you want to check out any of my film work ive done for timed film competitions check out this short and the other movies on the page..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7r-8FMLtMM

I have a number of scripts for things that i can send upon request as well.

If you can, in any way, provide me some sort of official outlet for my creativity, which could very well be endless, I’d very much appreciate it. No matter how many brilliant character arcs or plot points i pitch to my current co workers, it doesn’t seem to help us sell more computers… so.. please help.

I love you.

Alex Van Almsick

Although I wrote this with Dan Harmon in mind, I still feel that it shows off a number of essential qualities required to produce consistently good stories and fun plot lines.

#story circle #dan harmon #hire me #as a writer #creative #writing

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miguel-manbemel · 5 years

Text

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 28: A Side is Born Part 3: The Dark Truth about Patton

New entry of this fic inspired on Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders, Joan S. and the Foster Dawg Team. The story goes on. After the angsty end of the previous part, it’s time to dive back into the past and learn all the secrets in Patton’s life. Like in previous parts, the beginning is a reminder of the most important segments of the previous episode. I hope you enjoy this new entry and see ya next week.

SYNOPSIS: After discovering the truth about his real father, Virgil is in shock and it’s hard for him to accept it. Patton, now that his memories haven been restored, gets ready to tell them everything about his past, from Thomas’ conception itself and the very creation of the Mind Palace, and how the Dark Master managed to become Virgil’s father.

WARNINGS: Angst featured in the episode. Romantic prinxiety and logicality, visual depictment of the aftermath of physical mistreatment to Virgil in the past.

EPISODE INDEX

[Roman is writing in his diary, his voice is heard and his narration is combined with flashback images from the previous episode]

NARRATOR-ROMAN: So many things have happened yesterday that I don’t know if I’ll be able to make a summary in these few pages. Virgil and I had our first son, Thomas’ Side of Angsty Creativity and we named him Chris. Then a few hours later…

PATTON: Who’s that boy?

VIRGIL: It’s Chris, dad. Your grandson.

PATTON: What?

ROMAN: He has just aged three years in a matter of a second and we don’t know how.

LOGAN: Oh, wow… I didn’t expect that…

NARRATOR-ROMAN: It didn’t stop there, though. It was in front of our very eyes that he grew again until he looked like a twelve year old. I was so excited about it, that I decided to take him to Sandersia, because I wanted him to meet my brother Roland and Ira before he turned into an adult. And so we went there. They reacted just as I expected.

CHRIS: Well, my name is Christian Gerard Sanders. And I’m the Side of Angsty Creativity. But you can call me Chris.

ROLAND: Angsty… Creativity?

IRA: Hold on, weren’t those two concepts assigned to Virgil and you earlier? [face of realization and shock, then he smiles widely] Oh! Oh, my goodness, I get it! Congratulations, Roman!

ROLAND: What? What’s the matter?

IRA: Don’t you see? This boy is the son of Virgil and Roman! Angsty Creativity!

ROLAND: Oh, my goodness! How…? When…? Congratulations, guys!

[Roland and Ira hug Roman and Virgil, then they also give a quick hug to Chris]

ROLAND: I should have paid more attention. Of course he’s your son. His shield his a mix of both your insignias. I’m so happy to meet you, young man.

CHRIS: I’m happy to meet you too, uncle Roland.

ROLAND: Oh, that’s right. This boy is my nephew. And as your son… he’s the new heir to the throne of Sandersia!

NARRATOR-ROMAN: And just in front of them, Chris completed his growth and became an adult. It was all fun and games… until things suddenly and unexpectedly turned really, really bad. A force-field appeared around Chris.

CHRIS: What gives!?

[the door opens and the Dark Master enters in, wearing a black cloak with silver ornaments on the shoulders and the hood. The dark bubble flies next to him with Chris inside]

THOMAS: You again? How many times do we have to defeat you, boy?

DARK MASTER: Long time no see, Light Master.

ROMAN: [pulling out his samurai sword] Release our son! Right now!

DARK MASTER: Release him? Oh, sure, I will release him, as soon as I’m done with him.

VIRGIL: If you touch just one hair of him, I swear…

DARK MASTER: Oh, don’t worry emo, I’m not going to harm him. I need him in one piece for my plans.

VIRGIL: [progressively angrier and more hysterical as he speaks] What plans? What are you going to do to him? Let him go, you bast**!

DARK MASTER: Let him go? After all the time I’ve been waiting for one of his kind to appear? Never.

PATTON: What’s so special about him? I don’t understand.

DARK MASTER: [giggles evilly] I certainly did a good job with you, Patton.

PATTON: What?

DARK MASTER: Erasing your memories was so easy. It wasn’t a perfect work, but nevertheless it worked. You wouldn’t even try to get your memories back. You just got contented and started behaving like the stupid father figure you are right now.

PATTON: I don’t understand…

VIRGIL: Neither do I, but I don’t care! Release him!

DARK MASTER: It’s your only fault that I’m taking your son right now, Virgil! You brought this onto him!

VIRGIL: What?

DARK MASTER: The original plan was to take you instead of him. You were born for that only reason. But you had to escape to the Light Realm and ruin everything.

VIRGIL: What would you know about my birth?

DARK MASTER: Oh, everything. I know everything about it. I even had you in my arms not long after you were born. You looked so tiny, so vulnerable. So suitable. You just needed to grow until you were mature enough. But Patton had to be a goody daddy and the Light Master had to ruin it all!

THOMAS: Me? What…?

VIRGIL: What is he talking about, dad?

PATTON: [confused] I promise I don’t know, kiddo. I don’t remember…

DARK MASTER: Perhaps I can help with that.

[The Dark Master points at Patton. A light blue sphere appears on his hand]

DARK MASTER: This, on my hand, are your stolen memories. You’re no longer a worthy enemy, so I won’t be needing them anymore, and I need to make room for… another procedure. Here, take them back.

[the light-blue ball is projected at light-speed and impacts into Patton’s head, making him walk two steps back. The light enters inside Patton’s head, who holds his head with both hands and groans as if he was suffering the worst headache ever, as if his head was about to explode right there.]

VIRGIL: [scared] Dad!

LOGAN: Patton!

[in a few moments, Patton adopts a serene face. He stops holding his head and looks fiercely at the Dark Master]

PATTON: [serious deep voice, never heard before from him] Now I remember… everything.

DARK MASTER: Good. Then now you know it all. How does it feel? Please, tell me that it hurts you, it would be so rewarding for me.

PATTON: Yes, I remember. Yes, it hurts. And no, you won’t get away with your plans.

DARK MASTER: [evil voice] I challenge you to stop me. If you want to find me, you know where to look for me… sweetie.

NARRATOR-ROMAN: And so, the Dark Master fled away, taking our son with him. Later, Patton confessed the truth he had forgotten long ago, a truth no one could have prepared us to hear.

VIRGIL: Dad, you are my father. Nothing you could have ever done could be so bad that I couldn’t forgive it.

PATTON: You don’t know the truth yet, son. Once you know, you won’t be able to say that again with conviction.

VIRGIL: Then tell me dad, to prove you that you’re wrong. What is that truth that is so unforgivable?

[Patton sighs]

PATTON: The truth about who your father is.

VIRGIL: You are my father, what do you mean?

PATTON: I mean your other father.

VIRGIL: My other father? You remember now his identity? Who is he?

PATTON: You already know him too well. You’ve lived with him for years in the Dark Realm. You lived under his yoke and his tyranny for many years, and I couldn’t save you, may God forgive me.

[Virgil looks at Patton. A grimace of horror slowly starts appearing]

VIRGIL: No… that’s not true… that’s impossible!

PATTON: Yes. As painful as it is for me to admit it, but it’s true. The Dark Master is your father.

VIRGIL: [progressively more hysterical as he speaks] I can’t believe you! He can’t be my father! He can’t! If he was my father, he would have never treated me the way he did in the Dark Realm! He would have never taken my son away from me! It’s impossible! No! I refuse to believe you! You’re a liar! You’re no better than Deceit!

ROMAN: [holding him by the shoulders and shaking him] Virgil, calm down! You know he would never lie to you, especially in a matter so serious!

[Virgil sits down. He can’t look Patton in the face]

PATTON: [sad] See? I told you you would hate me.

[Virgil doesn’t answer. He just stares at the infinity, with rivers of tears running down his cheeks, in complete silence]

NARRATOR-ROMAN: And this is how we ended in this situation. Thomas had to go to sleep because he couldn’t face the Dark Master if he wasn’t well rested, and we needed a good rest too. Now, it’s morning. Thomas is in the bathroom having a quick shower. He never was a morning shower person, but he thought that maybe that could help him open his mind and think on some plan. When he’s ready, we’ll start thinking about what to do. I’m worried about Virgil, though. When I woke up, I found him awake, looking at the ceiling, still crying. If I could have resisted Thomas’ slumber as he can, I would have probably done the same too. It’s funny how much you can get to love a son at first sight. Even when it’s been literally a few hours since we met him, I think we could never live again without him. I pray that it’s not too late to save him.

[intro sequence]

[Thomas and the Sides are in the dining room, finishing their breakfast. Deceit and Honesty have joined them and have already been informed about everything during the meal. Virgil just stared at his plate not able to take a bite.]

ROMAN: Virgil, my love, please. You haven’t eaten anything. Do you think you’ll be of any help for our son if you let yourself starve?

[Virgil looks at Roman]

VIRGIL: Why should I eat? Why should I be here clowning around with you in this stupid… social gathering, when my son probably is suffering the worst of horrors and I’m not there to help him? He probably hasn’t eaten anything either! Why should I!?

PATTON: Virgil, please. Roman is right. You’re not gonna help Chris with that attitude.

VIRGIL: Leave me alone, Patton! I’m not in the mood for one of your daddy lectures!

[Patton shows a face of hurt over being called Patton instead of dad for the first time in months. He overcomes this sensation to show a firm scolding voice]

PATTON: Well it looks like you need one and you’re gonna have it!

VIRGIL: [yelling, angry] How dare you!? You have no right to speak to me after what you told me yesterday! In fact, I shouldn’t be here altogether! You all are doing nothing but hindering me! I should go get my son back on my own! Maybe I will!

[Patton rises up, with a face full of ferocious anger but also with his eyes full of tears]

PATTON: [yelling] Hold up for a second! I may not be a perfect person by any means, and you have a right to be mad at me, but in spite of that, I’m still your father and demand some respect, both to me and to all of us! I know you’re having a horrible time. Probably the worst time you will ever experience in your life, but that doesn’t give you the right to mistreat us like that! We’re not the enemy! We’re your fam and we’re here to help you! So hold your tongue, mister!

[Virgil looks at Patton without saying a word]

PATTON: [with a softer voice] Virgil, please, react. You must get out of that state you’re into. If not for us, do it for Chris. He needs you strong, both of will and of body. Grab any strength you have left in yourself and fight against your grief, so that you can get into the battle that awaits all of us. We’re gonna need you, so, please, I beg you, listen to me.

[Virgil looks at his plate still full. He needs a few seconds to start speaking]

VIRGIL: I… I’m sorry, dad. I’m sorry, guys. It’s just that… this is all too much for me to overcome.

PATTON: Would you let me hug you, please? I think we both need it at this point.

[Virgil looks at Patton, then he stands up and hugs him. He starts crying on his shoulder for a whole minute, while the others look at them without saying a word. Then, when Patton releases Virgil, he kisses him on the forehead before they both sit down]

DECEIT: It hurts me so bad to see you like this, Virge. I wish I could have been there to help you.

HONESTY: Me too.

VIRGIL: Thank you, guys. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything, like we weren’t, but I deeply appreciate the sentiment. I apologize again for my rude behavior. I hope you know I didn’t mean what I said.

DECEIT: It’s okay, Virge. We understand.

THOMAS: Now, before we start a plan of action, we need to understand everything. So, Patton, yesterday you promised that you would explain everything to us. I think the moment has come, if you’re ready.

PATTON: I am ready, Thomas, and you’re right, the moment has come. I’m gonna tell you everything that happened. It’s been 30 years…

THOMAS: Oh, we don’t need all the details, just stick with whatever you can remember…

PATTON: Do you wanna hear this or not, Thomas? Or would you like to watch Titanic instead, since you like that meme so much?

THOMAS: Sorry.

DECEIT: Oof… I’m not accustomed to see Patton so salty.

PATTON: As I was saying, it’s been 30 years ago, but for me it was like yesterday.

THOMAS: But I was a baby back then. You mean that you were already there by that time?

PATTON: I was there even before you were born, Thomas.

THOMAS: What? But how? I don’t understand…

PATTON: Let me explain. When a human starts having a cognitive system mature enough, something that happens around the second trimester of their development during pregnancy, if their brainwaves are compatible, like yours are, a Mind Palace dimension appears linked to these brainwaves.

LOGAN: It is so weird hearing Patton use that technical language. I am the one who is supposed to speak like that…

PATTON: That Mind Palace initially consists of a Core, which is a huge source of light, bright as the sun but safe too look at, where every trait, every aspect, everything that the human has ever been or will ever be is stored in raw form… I can see in your faces that you don’t understand me. I’m sorry, there are no words to describe it in any human language. Not even if you saw it for yourselves you could begin to understand what it is. And around that Core, when human development is advanced enough, the first room ever in the Mind Palace is generated, the Mind Palace Center. It is a bright silvery room with three double doors, one made of gold, one made of two huge solid slabs of diamond that is transparent but shines like a rainbow, and a third one made of hard coal and ebony. In front of each door there’s a pedestal, and there, from the Core itself, two Masters are born. The Light Master is born in front of the diamond door, and the Dark Master in front of the coal door. Then, a third entity is born in the third pedestal in front of the golden door. It is a Side, but a Side stronger than any other Side that would ever come later on. The Side of Raw Feelings and Right and Wrong. You could call it… a Master Side.

ROMAN: Is that… you?

PATTON: That’s right, that’s me, although now I’m not stronger than anyone of you, by any means. I was the first Side to be born and my task in that tiny Mind Palace that existed back then was to act – and I’m sorry I keep using your kind of speech, Logan – as an input/output device of feelings for Thomas. I analyzed the stimuli that arrived from Thomas’ surroundings and classified them as good or bad, and then sent them to the Masters for further analysis and classification. Then they sent me their results and I sent a response to the outside world for each original stimulus. The more stimuli I sent to one or the other, the bigger the Light Realm or the Dark Realm became, which as you, Thomas, may have deducted, were hidden behind their respective doors. As a result, the Mind Palace started growing around the Center, paralleling your mind growing during the beginning of your existence. Equilibrium was the norm back then and I tried to keep it as much as I could. And it worked, for the first two years or so of your existence. Until I made the mistake that started all this mess we’re facing right now.

VIRGIL: What do you mean?

PATTON: My life was pretty simple back then, so simple it became monotonous, and pure routine. You may say that I had a lot of stimuli from the outside world and that should have been exciting, but it wasn’t, cause back then I couldn’t understand what I received or sent and therefore it meant nothing to me. And I never got out of the Mind Palace Center except to sleep at night in my room behind my door and then wake up for another day just like the one before, again and again. And even though I was in constant contact with the Masters, this contact was really superficial. We did not get to have conversations with each other that were not related to our work. Monotony lead to boredom and boredom lead to longing. I didn’t know what I was longing for, I only knew that I longed for it. And the Dark Master knew about my feelings. He had also started longing for something: power, even back then when there was not much to fight for in the Mind Palace, but he wanted to take control of it. And he decided to use me as a tool for his plot. And so, he started to speak to me. Not trivial boring conversations like before, but more deep conversations. He got interested on me, on my work, and how did I do everything. And I obliged, I talked about my job, the tasks I had to do, stuff like that. He didn’t miss an opportunity to compliment me, to tell me how much he admired me, how much talent I had. And I got flattered and happy. Suddenly my longing had found an answer. And slowly but surely, he seduced me, until I fell in love with him.

VIRGIL: You and the Dark Master…? Wait, I suddenly remembered that you already told me he’s my father, so this question is stupid, sorry.

PATTON: Yes, Virgil. He acted so sweet, so kind… and I was so vulnerable, so naive back then, even more than recently… that one day I could no longer resist and completely surrendered myself to him. It was only one time, but it was enough. What happened next was fast, just as fast as it was for you, Virge. Even so, I was conscious from the start that a new life was growing inside of me. And it was then when the Dark Master showed his true face. He believed that he had me in his arms, that out of love, I would do anything he asked from me. He told me that he wanted to take control of the Mind Palace, and that if I helped him, I could be in charge by his Side. I refused, cause I knew it was wrong and breaking the equilibrium in the Mind Palace could create disastrous consequences for Thomas’ well-being. He fled away, for the time being, and I told the Light Master everything that had happened.

THOMAS: You talked… to me?

PATTON: No, Thomas. Back then, the Light Master was a complete entity of his own, just like the Dark Master and me, and he had his own consciousness. You were, and always have been, the Mind Palace itself as a whole.

THOMAS: I don’t get it.

PATTON: Every human is a Mind Palace. Almost anyone can wander into their mind when they need it or when reality, for one reason or another, is harsh on them and they need an escape route. But a few chosen ones, the very few in this world who share a specific pattern of brainwaves, can do what you do. You can physically wander into your own Mind Palace. That’s why we, the Sanders Sides, exist and can interact with you. But your capacity is strong enough so that you can completely tear off the veil between the Mind Palace and reality. That’s why we have a physical presence in this world and you can get objects in and out of the Mind Palace. Someone of us strong enough could even detach himself from you if he gathered powerful enough, like the Dark Master tried to do a while ago, although it would have disastrous consequences for you as you already know. That’s something extremely rare, though. It’s a unique ability the one you hold Thomas. It can be terrifying sometimes, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.

THOMAS: Yes, I agree. I never asked for this to happen. It just came to me as I child and I accepted it naturally. It’s true that sometimes I’ve experienced fear, and there was that one time you mentioned when my own life was endangered, but still, I would never trade off this ability. Everything I may go through is worth it, if it allows me to keep sharing your company, guys… But we are diverting. Please, continue, Patton.

PATTON: As it happened to you, Virgil, my pregnancy ran fast and it was soon that I went into labor. The Light Master was there to help me deliver you. He identified you as the Light Side of Vigilance, and so I named you Virgil. I’m sure you’re going to understand the next I’m going to say, Virge, now that you’re a father yourself. I loved you so much from the very first moment I looked into your eyes and you returned a little giggle to me. I still love you just the same today, and even when my memories got stolen from me, that wasn’t enough to break that bond of love we’ve always shared. That always was, and will always be, unbreakable, at least on my part.

VIRGIL: On my part too, dad. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt you.

PATTON: [petting Virgil’s cheek] It’s okay, I know, son. Around half an hour after you were born, the Dark Master returned. He asked me once again to join him in his plans. But I don’t think I can make justice just by telling you aloud. Roman, can you conjure a flashback from my memories?

ROMAN: I think so. Hold my hand and we’ll do it.

PATTON: Thank you.

[Patton holds Roman’s hand, and a flashback appears]

DARK MASTER: Patton, I’ll give you a second chance to think. Join me.

PATTON: Never. You cheated on me, and I will never forgive you for that.

DARK MASTER: Fine then. Then, give me my son and we’ll do it on our own.

PATTON: Are you nuts? Do you think I’m gonna give my Virgil to someone like you? Never!

DARK MASTER: He’s my son too and I have the same right…!

PATTON: You don’t have a right for anything! I will never let you corrupt my son to be like you!

DARK MASTER: Corrupt? Don’t you think that corruption is already present in his heart from the moment he was born? I’m his father! He has my essence in him! It’s part of him and there’s nothing you can do about it!

PATTON: You’re his father, unfortunately, but the Light Master has already told me that Virgil is a Light Side, and he will stay with me. I will educate him in love and compassion and you would only give him pain and horror. You’re not good enough to be his father and I will never allow it!

DARK MASTER: I’m afraid you didn’t understand one thing. I’m not asking you for permission to take my son with me. I’m commanding you!

PATTON: Then that’s a command that I will never fulfill!

DARK MASTER: As if you had a choice…

[The Dark Master points at Patton, and he gets paralyzed]

PATTON: I… I can’t move! Let me go! Don’t you dare!

DARK MASTER: Do you want to see proof of how much my son looks like me? Just watch.

[The Dark Master points at Virgil and shoots a black ball to the baby. The baby floats from Patton’s arms and a dark aura forms around him, while Virgil starts desperately crying]

PATTON: [distressed] Stop! Give him back right now! What have you done to him!

DARK MASTER: [grabbing Virgil] I’m sure if the Light Master checked Virgil right now, he would get to a very different result. Now Virgil is a Dark Side, the Dark Side of Anxiety and Fear, and he’s mine now! He’s too little yet to be useful, but he will grow, and when he grows… you’ll see. For now, off to the Dark Realm with you, my child. Your education will start soon.

[the Dark Master summons Virgil away]

PATTON: [yelling in despair] You bast**! Give me my son back, right now!

DARK MASTER: You should have accepted my offer. You could have ruled by my side and educated the child as your own. Now you’re gonna pay the consequences of your mistake.

[the Dark Master points at Patton and shoots a black ray to his forehead. Patton groans in pain as blue light starts coming out of his head running through the black ray. It starts forming a light blue ball of light on the Dark Master’s hand]

PATTON: What are you doing!? Stop it!

DARK MASTER: I’m getting your entire memories out of you. When I’m done, you will only be an empty casket and you will obey my will as my puppet. With my son’s abilities, one day, I’ll overthrow the Light Master and this whole Mind Palace will be mine!

[Patton doesn’t answer anymore, as he has fainted. Suddenly a rainbow thunderbolt hits the Dark Master and makes him fall. The black ray disappears and Patton falls to the ground, but the Dark Master still holds the light-blue ball of light with what he’s been able to extract from Patton’s mind. He hides it under his cloak. The Light Master appears]

LIGHT MASTER: What have you done to Patton, and where is Virgil!?

DARK MASTER: Virgil is out of your reach, Light Master. And Patton is of no use for anyone right now. After what I’ve done to him, he’ll never be the same again.

LIGHT MASTER: Why do you have to do this? You’re disrupting Thomas’ personality towards evil! You’re breaking the equilibrium!

DARK MASTER: To the f*** with equilibrium! I don’t need you or that stupid Patton. I’m more than capable enough to be Thomas on my own, and I will be!

LIGHT MASTER: Not if I can do anything about it!

[The Light Master shoots from his hand a white ray of light to the Dark Master in an attack so quick that the Dark Master can’t even see it coming. The light soon disappears, but the Dark Master seems unaffected. However, he soon finds out he can’t move]

DARK MASTER: What’s this? What have you done to me?

LIGHT MASTER: Consider yourself lucky that you’re needed for Thomas to keep on living. From this day on, I banish you from the Mind Palace Center and the Light Realm. You will no longer be able to come here, and you will never be able to get out of the Dark Realm.

DARK MASTER: [already starting to sink down slowly] This is not the end, Light Master, it’s only the beginning. Virgil is already in my possession and when he’s strong enough, we together will be powerful enough to overthrow you, and then the Mind Palace will be mine!

LIGHT MASTER: That’s what you think. If and when the moment comes, the Light Sides that will surely come will defeat you, no matter how hard you try. Now, begone!

[The Dark Master sinks down with an evil laughter]

LIGHT MASTER: [leaning towards Patton] Patton, are you okay? Can you hear me?

[Patton wakes up. He looks at the Light Masters and smiles at him]

PATTON: Oh, hello kiddo! How may I help you?

LIGHT MASTER: Kiddo?

PATTON: Yes, because I’m Dad, and my mission as pop is to pop out whenever you need me to take care of you!

LIGHT MASTER: [speaking to himself in a theater whisper] This is the work of the Dark Master. He couldn’t take all of his memories from him but he took enough for him to forget everything about Virgil. However, there must be traces on his mind that remind him somehow that he’s a dad, although he doesn’t know who his son is, so the hole in his mind is filled by acting like a dad with whomever he befriends. Well, perhaps it’s better this way. It would be a worthless pain for him if I told him the truth about his stolen son. If only I could get to the Dark Realm and bring him back… But I guess there’s only one thing I can do.

PATTON: Did you say something there? Secrets, secrets are no fun!

LIGHT MASTER: [helping Patton stand up] It was nothing, Patton. Now, listen. I want you to go to your room in the Light Realm and wait there.

PATTON: My room? But we never use the Light Realm rooms, they’re too far away from here and our rooms here are more convenient. Don’t we have a lot of work to do? You, me, and… [stops to think] that’s odd… I think there was another one, but I can’t put my finger on who they are…? Well, maybe it’s just me imagining things.

LIGHT MASTER: Yeah, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now, listen to me, Patton. I will be gone soon and I want you to welcome the first Side that is about to come. Tell him the basics of the Mind Palace and Thomas.

PATTON: The first Side?

LIGHT MASTER: Yes, I can sense that the moment of his arrival is approaching. Thomas has already started learning how to speak, and with that, imagination and creativity will make an entrance in the Mind Palace. When he arrives, I want you to tell him everything about the Mind Palace and how it works. Tell him… [makes a pause, then takes a deep breath and continues] tell him also that Thomas is the Light Master.

PATTON: But you are the Light Master, kiddo. What are you talking about?

LIGHT MASTER: I’m going to fuse with the Mind Palace Core, so I’m not misspeaking. I’m gonna be a part of Thomas so, he’s gonna be the Light Master.

PATTON: [suddenly sad and scared] But why? Why are you leaving me alone? Did I do something wrong?

LIGHT MASTER: [waving his hands quickly] No, no, no, of course not! I’m doing this for you. I cannot tell you the reason behind it for now. But there will be a time when you will understand. And I promise that you won’t be alone in the Mind Palace for long. Until then… [the Light Master kisses Patton on the forehead and continues speaking with a slightly emotional tone] know that I appreciate you very much, and that I’ll always be there with you. Just look at Thomas and you’ll see me as part of him, always taking care of you. But don’t let him know until he’s ready to bare the burden of being the Light Master. Now, go to your room, Patton. Farewell.

PATTON: But…

LIGHT MASTER: Farewell, Patton.

PATTON: Farewell, Light Master. I love you.

LIGHT MASTER: I love you too.

[Patton sinks down in tears, then the flashback ends]

PATTON: That was the last time I saw the Light Master. I presume he fused with the Mind Palace Core as soon as I left, and as such he is part of you now, Thomas. I didn’t understand why he did that back then. Now I know that, to assure that the combined forces of the Dark Master and Virgil wouldn’t be powerful enough to overthrow him, he fused with the Core so that you could defeat him if battle arose. In the end, Virgil ran away before the Dark Master was ready to fulfill his plans, but still, his sacrifice was not in vain, as now you’re gonna have to face him for real, Thomas, and the Light Master power is gonna be vital to defeat him.

ROMAN: Wait… I suddenly remembered something. When I first came to life in the Mind Palace, someone approached me, welcomed me and talked to me about how the Light Master was Thomas… something I didn’t understand at all back then. But he didn’t look like you at all. He was this venerable man dressed in an all gray tunic with light blue sapphire ornaments on the shoulders, not even wearing glasses… And now that I think about it, I never saw him again, and it happened so early in my life that I ended up forgetting him until your story brought him back from the bottom of my memories. Are you telling me that this strange man was you all the time, Patton?

PATTON: It was me, Roman. Only that in my original form. I noticed that you pictured me in the flashback with my present outfit but in reality I looked like you saw me as a child. After I delivered my message, I retired to my room, feasting on the memories that Thomas was creating in his life, delighting on them, and learning about the outer world and preparing myself for my new task in Thomas’ life, which was going to be helping him to distinguish between right and wrong. However, I still had this idea stuck in my mind of being a dad, and so, when I finally thought myself ready, I took the shape of a father figure when I first came out, when you had that first moral dilemma about if it was right or wrong having a crush for some other boy at school, remember?

THOMAS: Yes, it was the first discussion I had with multiple Sides to work out an issue. It was Roman and you, and he didn’t recognize you. I remember that Roman back then still looked like a child like me but you already looked like an adult from your very first appearance. You said that you wanted to represent an adult with an inner child inside, but now I understand the truth. You never were an ordinary Side. You were something else entirely. You had been an adult all of your life, but you came to that explanation yourself because there were too many holes in your memory and that’s the best you could come up with, am I right?

PATTON: Yes… you’re right. Okay, Virgil. Now you know the whole story. What do you think?

VIRGIL: After all you have told me today… I see it crystal clear.

PATTON: What?

VIRGIL: I only have one father and that is you, dad. The Dark Master may have put his seed onto you so that you could have me but being a father is much more than leaving your DNA. What really makes a father is the amount of love he’s willing to share with his child, how he would put himself in all sorts of dangers to protect his son. How he would even sacrifice his life if needed be to save his boy. Now I’m a father myself and I know this very well. The Dark Master only conceived me and took me so that he could use me as a tool for his plans. He didn’t care at all about my well-being. Wanna see what he did to me instead? Take a look.

[Virgil unzips his hoodie. Underneath, he’s still not wearing his shirt as he forgot to put it back on after pregnancy forced him to take it away for being too tight. He turns back and lowers the hoodie down, showing his back. Patton and the others are horrified when they notice the numerous huge, deep scars of whipping that fill the whole of Virgil’s back. Deceit and Ira just sigh as they also suffered the Dark Master’s methods and know very well these scars because they have them too. Virgil puts the hoodie on and looks at Patton, whose eyes are red and full of tears.]

VIRGIL: He mistreated me, beat me and filled me with fear. He called it respect, I call it apprehension to his presence. And this was only in the few years I was there, before I ran away to the Light Realm. I can’t even imagine what Deceit and Ira had to go through, trapped with him till adulthood. No, he behaved in the totally opposite way a father should behave. [grabs Patton’s hands] You, on the contrary, cared about me from the very first moment I was born. You loved me and wanted to take care of me from the beginning. And if that monster hadn’t wiped out your memories about my existence, I’m certain you would have moved heaven and earth to rescue me from his claws back to the safety you wanted to provide me. Heck, even when you didn’t remember me, your first instincts when you saw me again were to fill me with the love you couldn’t give me in the past few years and being a father for me. As true as my eye-bags are covered with black makeup, [titters] even if little watery now perhaps, you, Patton Sanders, are my father and no one else. And I love you so much.

[Virgil hugs Patton who hugs Virgil back. Thomas can’t help crying out of emotion]

PATTON: I love you too, Virgil. And I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry…

VIRGIL: Dad… why don’t you call me kiddo anymore? You haven’t used the word “kiddo” since your memories were restored.

PATTON: Well, you’re a grown-up adult with a child of you own. How could I call you kiddo?

VIRGIL: I don’t care, dad. I told you before that I’ll always be your kiddo. I want you to call me kiddo until my teeth fall down and my hair goes white. And I don’t want you to stop delivering your dad jokes. They always made my day a thousand times brighter, even if I never told you so. And I need your light in my life in this moment of darkness.

THOMAS: He speaks for all of us, Patton. We don’t want to lose the happy, adorable father you were for all of us. When this is all over and we all have reasons to be happy again, we also want to be called kiddo and hear your dad jokes. Only if you want to, though. We’ll understand if you think otherwise.

[Patton makes a pause, then he sighs and speaks]

PATTON: To be honest, I don’t want to lose that either. Right now I’m currently pretending again, pretending I’m no longer the “child” I used to be, repressing any and all dad jokes that I come up with. It’s just that… [hesitates before going on] I feel that I behave like that because of the Dark Master. I would have never been such a manchild if it wasn’t for that. I think going on with that personality is gonna be delightful for the Dark Master, and I don’t wanna give him that satisfaction anymore.

VIRGIL: To the he… [bleep] with the Dark Master! You must do whatever makes you happy. And if it makes your family happy too, all the better!

LOGAN: You know I never liked the dad jokes and the puns… but I don’t want them gone at the expense of you repressing yourself to an unhealthy amount. You come first, and my own stupid comedy tastes don’t matter at all.

PATTON: I think you’re right… kiddos. [determined, returning to his traditional attitude] You’re completely right! I don’t wanna hold it back and I’m not gonna do it for just a stupid… ex! Kiddos, your happy papi Patton is back to stay!

ROMAN: That’s the spirit! I’m proud of you!

VIRGIL: Okay, now, back to the present. What are we gonna do to rescue Chris? Dad, the Dark Master said you knew where to find him.

PATTON: Yes, kiddo, I know.

VIRGIL: Well, where is it?

PATTON: It’s gonna be a dangerous trip, guys, because we’re going to a place I haven’t gone to since 30 years ago. We’re going back to where it all began, back to the Mind Palace Center.

[a sign reads “To be continued, guys, gals and non binary pals”]

[end card]

[Remus appears in the middle of the room, standing on top of the table]

REMUS: Oh, hello, everyone!

ROMAN: Remus, you’re late.

REMUS: Oh, I know. It’s just that I’m not used to be so much sought-after. You know, usually you want to get rid of me and such.

ROMAN: Well, you could have come earlier. We’re on a crisis.

REMUS: Welcome to my world. What crisis?

ROMAN: Our son has been stolen away.

REMUS: [suddenly serious and concerned, jumping off the table and approaching Roman] What!? What happened!? Who’s taken him!? I’ll beat the sh** out of whomever dares to harm him!

ROMAN: This was… unexpected. I didn’t realize Chris meant so much to you.

REMUS: Of course he does! He’s my nephew, and if anyone touches him, the next thing he’s gonna touch is this mace, with his head and several times! Now tell me what happened.

PATTON: Guys, there’s no time. We need to get moving right now.

ROMAN: We’ll better get going. I’ll tell you on the way, brother.

REMUS: I love when you call me brother.

[The gang gets out of the room on their way back to the Mind Palace]

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