#Let him find the Existence
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ACHERON AND DR. RATIO HAVE THE EXACT SAME PHILOSOPHY IM GONNA BITE SOMEONE
‼️2.2 spoilers‼️
If you are like me, when you got to Acheron’s conversation with the trailblazer in front of the manifestation of IX, you tried to resist over tables BECAUSE AAAAAAAUGHH WHAT DO YOU MEAN
Look, LIKE JUST LOOK
This is part of Ratios conversation with Screwllum in the 1.6 questline:
PAY ATTENTION TO THE LAST ONE BECAUSE
GUESS WHO ECHOES IT WHEN WE TALK TO HER IN 2.2:
IS THIS NOT THE SAME? ARE THEY NOT SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING? THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE PEOPLE THE TOOLS TO HELP THEMSELVES, THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE SO THEY CAN SAVE THEMSELVES AND FORGE THEIR OWN FUTURE? THAT THEY BOTH BELIEVE THAT WHEN PEOPLE ARE LEFT ALONE TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES DO THEY SHOW THEIR TRUE STRENGTH?!?
Like this lines especially are just AAAAGHH literal bar for bar repeating one another
SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD DOCTOR AS THE SAME OUTLOOK ON HUMANITY AS A LITERAL EMANATOR OF NIHILITY?!?!
An emanator of Nihility WHO SHOULD’NT EXIST
An emanator of Nihility looking to kill IX and find the Existence on the other side of them.
AND HIS VIEWS ARE CREEPILY SIMILAR TO HERS?
Fuck it, Ratio isn’t just accidentally striding the path of Nihility.
He’s accidentally striding the path of Existence.
Nous be damned the reason why this man was never acknowledged by the Erudition is because he’s striding a Path so starkly different to it that the person who resembles him the most shouldn’t even be there either.
No wonder his in game path is Hunt instead of Erudtion, if he’s this similar to Acheron than her singleminded drive to end IX mirrors that of his to spread knowledge (following how Hunt works in gameplay, a lot more like Vengance in lore).
Please please please Hoyo I’m begging on hands and knees for this to be intentional, and for you to do SOMETHING, SOMETHING WITH THIS PLOTPOINT.
Ratio figured out Dormancy somehow, all of his character stories are told from the POV of other people, so we barely know anything about his past, he’s from a planet we don’t know of yet, AND NOW WE HAVE TO CONTEND WITH THIS??
I NEED ANSWERS I NEED EXPLANATIONS I NEED SOMETHING PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING. LET HIS LORE AND FUTURE OUT OF THE BOX PLEASE
“I bet they are going to pull an Alhaitham with him”
NO, NO THEY AREN’T. PLEASE TELL ME THEY AREN’T. I know it’s coping, but the mystery around Alhaitham got cleared away when we got his character stories, but Ratio’s character stories only make him more confusing. We have more questions instead of answers and with the 2.2 update I will spontaneously combust if we never get them BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN AAAAAAA
TLDR: let the Ratio lore out of the box and Hoyoverse pls pls PLEASE let him meet Acheron
#dr ratio#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#2.2 spoilers#dr ratio hsr#hsr dr ratio#Dr ratio#acheron#acheron hsr#Please don’t “he’s just some guy” him please#I’m cool with him having an ordinary past but please let him have a nuts future#Let him find the Existence#As a treat#aventurine and his relationship to Ena theories already cause me to tweak out so don’t do this to me#Also his only voicelines in 2.2 being fake dream Ratio was funny but it also made me mad#free my man please
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danse macabre
#ultrakill#gabriel#v1#gabv1el#doodle tag#rise and fall au#fallen gabriel#love thinking about gabriel losing his mind for a minute after becoming a full fallen angel#where he just really indulges in his anger and pent up violence all for himself#he rebels against everything he ever was and how stifled he has been his entire achingly long existence#no more rules. no more grace. he's goring demons and tearing machines apart limb from limb#needless to say. v1 is NO moderating force lol#it loves running around like this with him far more reckless than it could afford to be before#and finding a love that engages in its cruelty with it to its full extent makes it just as bad#he does eventually come back to himself as this just isn't him#but i love them having a full villain era where they become actively avoided#(but hell won't let their prey get away...sad!)
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yknow, I am amused that solangelo fanon was so tunnel-vision in like 2014 that in the midst of crawling through literally every time Will had popped up in the series prior, somehow the ONE singular instance of Will referencing something that the fandom did absolutely nothing with was the thing Rick then decided to draw out into being a major character trait for Will.
Like. Nico eats McDonalds once and it becomes a huge fanon thing, but Will references Star Trek and the fandom doesn't make a peep until Rick explicitly canonizes that he's a huge sci fi nerd. and Rick doesn't even keep it consistent! He changes it so Will is a Star Wars nerd instead of Star Trek. smh 😔 /lh
#pjo#riordanverse#will solace#this is in jest i hc Will is just a general sci fi nerd but i just find it funny that like#yeah Will being a sci-fi nerd DOES get referenced relatively early on in his character#its just literally nobody cared a singular bit to acknowledge it in fanon before TOA#and somehow *that* is the thing Rick went ''ah yes! a character trait! this will become a huge part of his personality''#also amused that Rick changed it from Star Trek to Star Wars. did Disney tell you to do that Richard. be honest.#Rick named his cat Tribble i know where his biases lie#also the fact that this line exists makes Will's later star wars nerd characterization even funnier imo#because it DOES imply he's a general sci fi nerd. possibly even bigger nerd than initially implied#cause it means he's largely familiar with at least two major sci fi series#which then implies that probably extends further. and again there is like next to zero fanon about this#fanon sees Will's sci fi nerd characterization and just goes ''...meh. nah.'' maybe gives him a lil star wars at best#this is a totally neutral thing i just think its funny#like now wait hold on. lets hear out his Avatar and DW opinions
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Flycatcher sketchdump
beloved orange frog guy from fables comic/the wolf among us game
bbbonus
#first saw fly in twau years ago but because his design is so simple and genius i recently rembered about his existence#ok kmp you find a ginger guy with a goatee and go draw him 10000times we get it#if you don't know him please know him#i drew these for myself a while ago but they look so fun and i feel so not fun rn let's share some serotonins#fables#fables comic#the wolf among us#twau#flycatcher#fables flycatcher#twau flycatcher#ambrose flycatcher#commissions open#sketch dump#digiital art#kmp art
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hey you know what would be fun? a fic where the Royal Guard follows through with their plans to make Ichigo the new Soul King and Grimmjow promptly loses his shit because what the actual fuck Ichigo has already given these people literally everything, twice, and this is how they repay him? recruits Nel and Harribel and Urahara and Yoruichi (after Nel sits on him for a while because Jesus Christ Grimmjow you can’t storm Soul Society by yourself no matter how much you’ve powered up) and it’s the Ryoka Invasion all over again except with pissed off arrancar instead. I just think it would be neat
#king’s court#bleach#grimmichi#orihime and Chad are also there#Ishida is questionable considering the timeline and his feelings about soul society in general#I just have this perfect image in my head of Grimmjow finding out and just going to town on the shinigami over it#like ‘no one in all three fucking worlds deserves that self righteous asshole martyr#but he chooses all over you. over and over again. and for what? how many fucking times have you abandoned him?#my plans haven’t changed I’m gonna tear his throat out with my teeth#but I can’t fucking do that if he’s locked away like some fucked up fairytale princess now can I?’#Nel in the background laughing to herself because wow grimmjow nice save there definitely no one suspects you’re soft for Ichigo#other shinigami come around to help but grimmjow trusts zero of them besides Urahara and Yoruichi so. toss up if he lets them do anything#anything important anyway#okay I’m done#I haven’t read CFYOW btw I just know this is a thing that’s talked about in it#also I know a fic like this exists for ichiruki but I’m deep into my grimmichi era so
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already seeing "ugh male Rook with Neve in the trailer... that's a LESBIAN" posts on twitter and I'm beating them with a big stick that says "you can HEADCANON whatever you want about anything ever but your HEADCANON is factually incorrect and if it chaps your ass even a little bit when anyone up to and including the literal creators of the character disagrees with your HEADCANON then that's fully a you problem and you should consider developing coping skills about it rather than contributing to this fandom's legendary hostility by policing (even in a manner you'll claim was "joking" when someone stands up for themselvs) people who are only enjoying their own playthrough, headcanon, or ship" and by stick I do mean the block button
#for the record: you will never catch me dead acknowledging the existence of any man or m/f ship in this game#(except the one man I will deem “my son” and whatever woman I ship him with to make him more interesting)#but Neve is pan Bellara is pan Taash is pan Harding is pan#these are facts#and I will block anyone - a mutual/ my mom /a delicious chicken caesar wrap /Jesus Christ etc - taking a policing tone stating otherwise#it was so fucking irritating in BG3 fandom and I'm not even pretending to tolerate it in DA#post your headcanons for your own enjoyment and find your own community and let others have theirs in peace
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obligatory pokemon au time!!
#milgram project#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#woah what the fuck u can do 30 images at once now#i didn't draw es with their singular eevee bc i thought the limit was 10 still whoops#anyways--#haru has a singular tiny budew that follows him around and loves him. he is afraid of it#yuno has a furfrou bc she loves big dogs. and liepard bc she's cat coded#i like to think fuuta makes really amateur lowpoly 3d renders so i think itd be fun if he had boys to make art w him#muu got herself a BIG HERACROSS when she was tiny and her mom was like. cringes. don't you want a girl pokemon for girls??#and baby muu was like SHE'S PINK!!!!! and would not let go of her buggy#a sableye approached her and tried to eat her earrings. the vivillon is from her dad#my friend pointed out shidou would be the exact age for playing gen I hence the squirtle#blissey bc nurse joy. his blissey used to carry around the gloom in her lil pouch when she was just an oddish#the eldegoss is his wife's!! but she tends to tumble about in the breeze and find shidou a lot#i actually started these drawings bc mahiru going OVERHEATTT in her t1 song made me think incineroar#she treats him like a big kitten!! and her phantump is her tiny baby#OK I CAN'T FIND W HO BUT SOMEONE DREW KAZUI WITH A SHINY APPLIN AND IT'S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING TO EXIST#he's got a lil bisharp that wants to be a kingambit but hasn't been able to evolve#and kazui is like. ah. action figure bug. for boys. cant live up to his manly potential. i relate deeply with this man#amane got an espurr bc she deserves a cute kitty. castform reminds me of her cult's cloud symbol thing#mikoto=morpeko connection has been made a billion times but it's true. he finds it eating his redbull cans at the office
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happy birthday to my hyune. hyunjin who wrote a poem about stay’s eyes and how they shine brighter than any stars. hyunjin who paints old couples because he believes love should be eternal. hyunjin who needs to be chased off the stage by staff because he wants to greet stays longer. hyunjin who always reassures stays that they have a long time left together. hyunjin who reads poetry before bed. hyunjin who writes about love so beautifully as if he is the embodiment of it. hyunjin who says he wants to remain strong as to not hurt stays. hyunjin who says you need to practice with your 200% to show 100%. hyunjin who loves reading books. hyunjin who always tells stays to eat well. hyunjin who wears his heart on his sleeve. hyunjin who started a stay counseling center to listen to stay’s problems. hyunjin who wrote if love is everything, then there is nothing left for me. hyunjin who trained really hard because he refused to be just a pretty face. hyunjin who said that he loves easily, gets hurt easily, regrets easily then repeats the process because isn’t that what life is about. hyunjin who said that the wounds caused by humans are also healed by humans. hyunjin who remains hopeful and loving despite it all. hyunjin who eats with his eyes closed. hyunjin who loves going to art museums. hyunjin who said that there isnt a team that loves each other as much as skz does. hyunjin who said that there should always be a Stray kids before his name. hyunjin who loves so freely and who i love. you grew up so well my hyune 💓 please be happy forever.
#SINCE IT’S OFFICIALLY MIDNIGHT IN KOREA 💗💓💞💕💘💞💓💗#words can’t describe how much love i have for hyunjin :’)#the purest sweetest most loving angel in existence and who deserves nothing but happiness for the rest of his life#i hope love finds him wherever he goes#i hope that even on his darkest nights he finds reasons to smile all over again#i love him I LOVE YOUUUU HYUNJIN#happy birthday to you thank you for existing and for choosing to be so kind depsite the harshness of our world#thank you for having such a beautiful soul#thank you for being so full of love it reminded me of how gentle and fulfilling love should be#aaaaaah my second hyune birthday 🥹 TO MANY MANY MORE#let’s stay together for a long time#im so happy i get to love you in this lifetime
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ty for contributing to the wasteland that is appreciating bruce as a parent and first child danny🙏🙏🙏
It’s a battle out here soldier but I am strong, like winter bear. Also I relate so hard to Bruce in a lot of ways and I think his initial concept is really neat. He tries his damn hardest, and he has so much hope for his city that it’s really admirable.
And as much fun as it is to poke fun at him for his questionable parenting and hypocrisy, there’s always the line of too much that the fandom tends to cross quite often, just as much as they do with the clone and ghost king stuff. Bruce is just as much of a good parent (or at least a trying one) as he is a bad one, and people tend to ignore his good qualities for the sake of a joke. His character is centered around the fact that he cares, he’s just truly shit at communicating it — which, cheers bro, I’ll drink to that.
And there’s already a ton of batfam prompts and aus out there where Danny shows up when the whole colony is already adopted, which means most of the attention goes to Danny bonding with the other siblings and having very little to do with Bruce. He’s kinda just. There. Whether that be as a prop or an antagonist or someone to point and laugh at. Which, I can’t blame people too much for — the cast is so big it’s hard to keep track of relationships and stuff.
However, I think it’s important for Danny to have some form of relationship with Bruce too and not them just be strangers, especially in a familial/platonic setting where Danny is joining the family.
They share a handful of qualities that I think would mesh well together — Danny’s canonically a pessimist while Bruce is a diehard optimist (you kinda have to be to be a hero in a place like Gotham, and he wouldn’t be Batman if he wasn’t) and they both believe in giving people second chances and have wells of compassion to tap into. Danny’s clever and resourceful, and one of his main character traits is that he’s got an iron will.
All in all, good dad bruce go brrrrr and oldest son danny is the perfect, underutilized concept to explore exactly that without distractions. I think they could get along like a house on fire, if given the opportunity.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#starry asks#blood blossom au#nightingale au#tales of the passerine#i didnt include Danny’s puns bc. well. duh that trait is obvious you dont need me to point it out lmao#blood blossom will ultimately focus on Danny and Bruce’s relationship and not the vigilantism#danny actually isnt planned to join the field for a while for non-health related reasons#but you can find me explaining why in one of my reblogs on the og post#this ask got away from me but when does it never do that#i am a certified yapper#anyways you’ll notice in my other aus too that i dont make a habit of bashing or making fun of bruce#most of the danny’s in my aus have a posi-neutral opinion of him inCLUDING cfau danny#clone danny and stillborn danyal are outliers but even then their negative opinions aren’t because of anything bruce has done and stillborn#is really the only one who could develop a bad opinion. clone danny is just scared of him finding out that he exists but otherwise holds#bruce in a posi-neutral light. he recognises the good he does for his city he’s just scared shitless of the dude finding out that he was#cloned. especially since danny was a victim of cloning himself and knows how violating it feels#stillborn danyal’s opinion weighs firmly on who finds out about who first. he only hates bruce if he finds out first bc his shit esteem#easily convinces him that bruce willingly gave him up and replaced him with Damian. he’ll eventually forgive and let go of that anger when#bruce tells him that he was told danny was stillborn and didn’t know he was alive.#everyone has a batfam member they latch onto and unfortunately for me mine is the og bitch himself Bruce Wayne
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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I remember Machete has tiny feet, but exactly what size shoes does he wear?
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#hard to say#his shoe size might be just one of those things he doesn't particularly like revealing to people#very likely small enough that he has trouble finding anything to wear in most men's sections#I'd like to think that once he can afford it he starts to have some of his shoes custom made#and eventually goes off the deep end and developes a brand loyalty for Louboutins in particular#which isn't great for your finances but let him have his bougie red soled heels if he wants he's worked hard for them#modern au#in canon setting proper standardized shoe sizes don't exist yet so everything is made to measure#answered#chrlxx#those are his hooves
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Alright! Danny is dimension hopping and fines the dc universe or he was sent to the past to do something and ends up helping the hero’s with something.
Danny introduces himself cuz omg more hero’s!!! He explains that he isn’t from that dimension or timeline so his identity doesn’t matter.
Danny eventually goes back to his time/dimension leaving a Danny shaped whole and people miss him.
Eventually someone decided to look Danny up for shits and giggles cuz they miss him or something only to find Danny pre accident and ghost shenanigans. (Or just regular civilian Danny living his best life and not half dead)
What do they do?
What does the justice league, young justice, teen titans, etc. do when they find an alternate version of their friend (or crush depending on whatever the visualizer wants)?
Like I feel the internal conflict to be fascinating!
Like the moral dilemma of either just going to make friends and drag him away from a normal life or leave him be to live his life? Or leave him be to die a horrible painful way or intervene and risk the proper flow of time?
#dcxdp#dcxdp prompt#dcxdp crossover#dpxdc#danny fenton#dc crossover#could be anyone#but i personally like the idea of adult Danny going back in time#and x character (being from the younger teams) develops a crush on him#then danny leaves and the x character just finds out that it wasn’t an alternate dimension or that a version of 14 year old danny exists#and they have to decide to either become friends or ignore danny#to save him or let him die like how he told them about#cute#fun#uwu#exciting#deadonmain#deadtired#DeadSerious#idk Duke and Danny ship name#but i love the idea between them#ships!#friendships
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Sometimes I get a fictional little guy in my head and I have to draw them to release them
#Okay so this was actually supposed to be another idea I had for turnabout ghoul but I couldn't really draw it#so to explain-#it's near the end of turnabout succession when Kristoph is on the stand#don't ask details about what specifically is going on bc i have no idea#but Apollo is really pressing him so he turns to Klavier and says#'Klavier. If things keep going this way I may be forced to disclose a secret that affects the both of us. Is that what you want?'#and obviously Klav does NOT want anybody to find out he's a ghoul#bc at this point in the story in regards to ghoul legalization there have been many improvements#but ghouls are still illegal and heavily stigmatized against.#So now Klavier is practically begging Apollo to stop bc he can't let that get out#but Apollo manages to convince him to pursue the truth anyways#which means kristoph tells the whole court they're ghouls#leading into an extra case where 'whoops now we have to completely decriminalize ghouls for existing'#and it's Phoenix's first case after getting his badge back#bc while the whole apollo defending klavier thing like phoenix and edgeworth is cute#it's far more impactful for the guy that lost his badge to defend the one who took it away#bc it really shows he doesn't hold a grudge against him at all#anyways I should stop before I hit the tag limit#ace attorney#ajaa#klavier gavin#Luci's art tag#turnabout ghoul
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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I have been thinking on the nature of mdzs as a deliberately vague text that leaves many things up to interpretation, and how i've slowly come to understand "up for interpretation" less as "there is One True version of this story i must find" and not even as " Everyone has a different One True Version of this story inside their head be based on their interpretations and the differences don't make one wrong and the other right" but as "There is no One True Version. Even in my own subjective interpretation of the text multiple things can be true at once" specifically, in regard to Jin Guangyao and the many things which are left up in the air as to whether he did them or not, most notably killing his son.
There's evidence for this, but it's non conclusuve (jgy saying he killed him while also saying he killed Qin Su, who very much killed herself. The speculations on how he'd have killed him being sect leader yao just saying shit. ) it is, esentially, just up in the air enough that if you decisively fall on one side of the debate is probably says more about you and your general opinion of jgy than it does about the "true" events of canon.
I have, as a proud apologist, always fallen on the "he didn't kill him but felt in some way responsible for his death." Side but recently have become more okay with the interpretation that maybe he DID kill him, and that at the very least, that when he tells Qin Su their son "needed to die" he is being genuine. Which, once you look at it beyond. "Is jgy a poor lil meow meow who it is Okay to Like or an irredeemable baby murderer" becomes both INCREDIBLY tragic and deeply interesting. Because here is a man condemned for who his parents were and who wants nothing more than to live, saying that it is possible to be so cursed by your heritage that you need to die. There is no existence for you. The exact same thing that has been said to him.
Of course being born out of wedlock to a sex worker and being a product of incest are different things, but that begs the question: where is the line? What crimes of the father can mean death for the son? How cursed can you be until your existence is so incompatible with society it is you who needs to give? And if there is... where is it? Qin su clearly thought she was past it. Was his son really past it? Is he?
#warning: canon typical incest and suicide#mdzs#mdzs meta#musings on the nature of unreliable narratives or whatever#meng yao#jin guangyao#jin rusong#i know this is a controversial take#i just think! that once you let go of the idea that killing rusong is some load-bearing sin where if jgy has done it you can't like him#that there is interesting stuff to look at here!#obviously. child murder bad. jiggy has done many had things but this one is. particularly bad.#so i get it if you feel uncomfortable with it being done character you view as symapthetic despite other bad things he's done#and again! multiple things are true at once! i STILL operate from 'he did not kill him it was a secret 3rd thing' modus 90% of the time#it's just that in this one instant i find the other option really interesting#i just. non-identity problem my beloved. if rusong's suffering cannot be erased without erasing his existence is he destined to do so?#if he'd been a teen when everything about jgy got uncovered and both his parents died is there... a place left for him to go?#i just. hhhhh this poor child. we know nothing about you beyond your shameful birth and your death. is that really all you were meant to be
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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