#Latter Pillar my beautiful beloved

[indecisive-dizzy]

Hi I’m having so many Latter/Eddie ideas im in love with them they are beloveds

I can totally see Latter having a crush on Eddie from the get go. He took one look at that beautiful southern mailman and fell in love

The idea of Eddie dating Latter while being Howdy’s ex makes me laugh so hard, especially if howdy gets bitter about it

I could totally see Eddie being sweet to Latter and Howdy complaining to Seeya about it. He pulls out the “I was bisexual first!” argument /hj

Latter writes poems about Eddie but keeps them to himself. Hes too embarrassed to share them

Ironically they’re actually some of his better work

Latter/Eddie/Frank is now something I need more people to love too because I do

They do little smooches. Like, they’re both so nervous they can barely kiss without herring all flustered and shy

Hugs, they hug a lot :)

Latter wraps his wings around Eddie EHEN they hug, but he never mentions it

They write letters to each other all the time, they love writing about the other

They go on walks together, its calm and they don’t have to deal with neighbors/family members that treat them poorly

They move in together /hj

I need them to get married

sniff theyre soooo <333

Took one look and fell in love you say? Of course he did who wouldn't! fr tho Latter had One Positive Interaction with Eddie (Eddie waved at him) and he was head over heels.

Damn Eddie I thought you were afraid of bugs- sjfhjdsgbjsghjds. Howdy is SO bitter. Especially because Latter and Eddie have a better relationship than his and Eddie's. Also bc Latter does Not shut up about him. He's throwing Eddie themed poetry left right and center and Howdy is this close to putting up a "No Latter" sign at the shop.

Latter's better poetry being his love poems to Eddie is so sweet. His best work comes straight (Ha!) from the heart <3

Idk how Frank and Latter would get along,,, I think Frank would enjoy some poetry but he may only tolerate Latter's extensive poetics for Eddie,,,, Hmmm

Call those Butterfly Kisses. jsfjsf they're so cute hhh just little pecks here n there but its got them both all flustered.

You got a mailman who is on his way to a Best Hugger Award and a Giant Butterfly with Six Arms. Those are some damn good hugs! And I am a sucker for "wrapping wings around partner"

ah writing letters, Eddie's personal favorite love language that he introduced Latter to. Eddie gets normal letters that also have poems attached. Eddie send him paper crafts with his letters.

Going on walks is nice! What if they held hands !

[starrysnowdrop]

FFXIVWrite 2024 #2: Horizon

Noun: the line or circle that forms the apparent boundary between earth and sky.

Sometime between the events of patches 5.5 and 6.0; While walking around the Pillars of Ishgard, Lord Edmont observes Lord Aymeric as the latter watches the setting sun.

As I finished my shopping in the Jeweled Crozier and began walking back towards the Manor, I witnessed a familiar sight: Lord Aymeric, standing on one of the many balconies of the Pillars while looking out past the snowy peaks of Coerthas towards the horizon. To any outside observer, one would assume that the Lord Commander was merely watching the beautiful sunset, as the firey hues of the setting sun set the sky ablaze.

But others would not see what I have seen so many times whenever Lord Aymeric was out making his rounds of the city. They would not see the pensive gleam in his eyes, the wistful countenance, the melancholic longing as he looked out towards lands unseen.

No, he was not merely watching a beautiful sunset. His mind was focused upon his love, the lalafellin woman who had stolen his heart and had run off on adventures to far off lands and otherworldly places that he could scarcely imagine.

So many times I have seen Lord Aymeric standing there, pining for her, wondering what she was doing in that same moment, wishing he was there with her, though his duty would not allow him to follow in her wake. Over the past few years, I have lost count of how many times I see him standing there, silently and patiently awaiting his beloved’s return.

Never once has his heart wavered. Lord Aymeric is among the most eligible bachelors in all of Ishgard, and though he has received so many offers of arranged marriages from so many of the noble houses, he has refused them all. But they do not understand him. They do not know that he is already spoken for, though even Mistress Hali Aloke herself is completely unaware of it.

I wonder… how much longer will it take for Lord Aymeric to finally speak the truth? What is it going to take for him to finally go after the woman he loves, and allow himself to have the love, companionship, and happiness that she would bring to his life? Will the world have to threaten to stop spinning before he allows himself to live the life that he dreams of?

All I wish is for Lord Aymeric and Mistress Hali to show each other how much they love one another; I wish for their happiness as if they were my own children. I hope and I pray that day comes sooner rather than later, as I will not be around forever, and I so desperately wish to see them both happy together after too many years apart and so much sacrifice for the greater good.

Lord Aymeric deserves to look out towards the horizon with a genuine, content, serene smile as he makes his way home to see his lady love after a long day.

[mooechi]

a gift?

spring. the season she bought something just for her.

on the day following her return from a mission, riri discovers eva in a state of solitude beneath a blossoming sakura tree.

however, the winter pillar seems to have been searching for the glacier pillar. why is that?

an akari fuyutsuki x eva himeko oneshot.

// eva himeko rightfully belongs to my beloved, @muitsuri!

spring, when the world bursts forth with life.

spring, where a symphony of delicate miracles unfolds.

spring, a season when verdant tendrils awaken from their slumber, where the gentle touch of the sun's caress breathes vitality into every corner of the earth.

amidst this exquisite tapestry of rejuvenation, beneath the boughs of a resplendent sakura tree, a lovely lady found herself caught in a momentary enchantment.

her graceful figure, adorned in hues of soft pastels, became the focal point of a whimsical dance. with closed eyes, her lashes fluttered like the wings of dainty butterflies, lending an air of ethereal serenity to her gorgeous countenance.

the fragrance of blooming flowers enveloped her, infusing the air with a sweet intoxication that stirred her senses.

the sakura petals swirled around her with a grace befitting a ballet, encircling her form in a delicate waltz. each petal, kissed by the gentle breeze, pirouetted and twirled in harmonious synchrony, their ephemeral beauty mirroring the ephemeral nature of this captivating season.

the cherry tree stood tall and proud, its branches reaching towards the heavens as if yearning to touch the cerulean canvas above. and beneath its protective canopy, the glacier hashira found peace, a sanctuary where her thoughts could wander amidst the petals' tender embrace.

her delicate lids fluttered open, anticipation filling her being.

yet, instead of being greeted by the expected rosy vista, her irises were met with a mesmerizing azure expanse that halted her tranquility in its tracks.

the chestnut-tressed maiden could practically hear her heart cease its rhythmic dance, only to resume with a frantic tempo as she realized that those majestic blue irises belonged to none other than the winter pillar. the hashira, with a mere tilt of her head, seemed unperturbed by their proximity, as if she had initiated this encounter herself—which was most likely.

silence enveloped the pair, stretching into an eternity, as they locked gazes, delving deep into the depths of each other's souls. the weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air, a testament to the profound connection that existed between them. and then, like a soothing melody, a familiar voice, flat yet mellow, graced the ears of the flustered maiden.

"and here I thought you wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon.”

as the pillar’s words lingered in the air, akari finally leaned back, causing a tumultuous storm of emotions to surge within the latter’s heart—a mix of both fortune and dismay.

though the azure-eyed maiden's words may have carried a hint of sarcasm, eva understood that they held a genuine sentiment, devoid of mockery, but rather a straightforward observation.

"i wasn’t actually asleep, you know..."

the glacier pillar felt a surge of gratitude as her words flowed forth without a single stutter. however, her tone remained meek, leaving her uncertain if they were even heard, or if they simply dissolved into the ether.

naturally, the latter heard her—akari unconsciously exerted more effort whenever it involved eva, after all.

however, to her surprise, akari; though renowned for her analytical disposition, found herself unexpectedly taken aback, her eyebrows arching being the sole giveaway to her genuine astonishment.

"you weren't?"

a hint of perplexity laced the winter pillar’s voice as she raised a hand to her chin, her head tilting slightly as she hummed in thoughtful contemplation. "strange. everything about you seemed to suggest otherwise, but i suppose i was mistaken."

“eh?"

eva, in turn, tilted her head slightly, her expression a mix of confusion and curiosity. did it have something to do with her appearance? had something changed? or perhaps it was due to the winter pillar’s unique perception of auras? so many questions stirred within her, yet remained unspoken—

"if you appeared so serene with only your eyes closed," akari continued, her words laced with a touch of intrigue. "i can only imagine how much more captivating it would be when you are truly asleep."

oh…

was that meant to be a compliment? the heat of embarrassment crept up eva’s pretty face, coloring it with a rosy hue.

normally, she would be quite talkative around the winter pillar, but in this moment, she found herself rendered speechless. her mouth parted slightly, but the words she longed to utter seemed to elude her, trapped in the depths of her being.

as the hashira settled into a more relaxed position, abandoning her previous crouch in front of eva, the glacier pillar struggled to regain her composure. the contrast between her disheveled state and the seemingly unfazed composure of the lady before her was evidently striking.

yet, as if fate had finally decided to show her mercy, eva’s eyes caught a glimmer of light reflecting off what appeared to be a snowflake-shaped object in the winter pilar’s free hand. upon closer examination, it became clear that it was a hairpin.

an idea sparked in the sable-head’s mind, causing her to perk up. "how beautiful! do you need help with that? i can assist you in putting it in your hair—“

"what? no."

the cobalt-head’s sudden interruption caused the radiant smile on eva’s face to freeze. a wave of uncertainty washed over her, as if she had committed a grave mistake. akari’s deadpan expression translated into a look of incredulity through eva’s eyes, igniting a spark of panic within her.

"sorry, that must’ve been weird of me to ask..”

"what?..no it isn’t. i only declined because this hairpin isn't for me."

the glacier pillar paused, finding herself confused for the second time within such a short span. if not for herself, then for whom?

was akari planning to give it to someone else?

the thought sent a pang of pain through eva’s heart, and her feeble attempts to conceal her expression of sorrow proved to be futile.

yet, in the fleeting instant that ensued, akari’s next words swiftly dissipated all of her concerns, replacing them with a comforting sensation that enveloped her like a cozy embrace, leaving her head swirling with warmth and delight.

"i saw this earlier and...” lost in wonder, she absentmindedly, yet carefully toyed with the object, her voice trailing off. extending it towards the bewildered maiden in front of her, she resumed, "it’s for you. i saw it earlier, and thought of you."

in response, eva’s stunning eyes widened. "m-me?" she stammered, a mix of disbelief and bashfulness evident in her voice, along with a profound sense of gratitude.

trembling slightly, eva reached out, her fingertips gently brushing against the hairpin, treating it as if it were an exquisitely delicate treasure. "this is for...me?" she repeated, as if struggling to grasp the reality of the situation.

akari simply nodded. in contrast, her features still withheld any hint of her internal musings. "yes, for you."

"just for you."

at the lack of typically verbal responses, her head tilted slightly as she arched a brow, "is it not to your liking?—“

"that’s not it!!"

the glacier pillar swiftly interjected, shaking her head vigorously, causing the winter pillar to worry that she might become dizzy.

“huh?..”

“the contrary, actually..” releasing a heartfelt sigh, eva shifted her gaze, tenderly looking at the gift she had just received, a loving smile gracing her lips. "i like it, a lot.” she confessed.

she turned her gaze back to akari, her smile softening even further. "i love it, actually.” she whispered.

her eyes fluttered shut, forming a closed-eyed smile that gradually transformed into a cheerful grin as her head swayed slightly to the right, reminiscent of a joyful dance.

as the diaphanous breeze danced through the air, its celestial touch gracefully tousled eva’s lustrous locks as the sun joined in this symphony of beauty, casting its golden rays upon her countenance, illuminating her features with a resplendent radiance. her smile, a beacon of joy, radiated a warmth that had akari mesmerized, rendering her unable to divert her gaze from the majestic sight before her.

"you really are pretty.”

in response, a rosy blush bloomed across eva’s cheeks, the flush of warmth coloring her delicate visage.

she lowered her gaze, her fingers tenderly tracing the contours of the precious object she held—a reflection of the tender emotions that stirred within her. the subtle intensity of her feelings ignited a longing within her soul, a yearning for more moments such as these.

a gentle sigh escaped the hashira’s lips, a melody of mingled pleasure and vulnerability. "you.." she murmured, her words laced with a hint of playful defiance, "you should really stop with those out-of-nowhere compliments." she pouted, her eyes gracefully closing as she sought refuge in the solace of darkness, a brief respite to regain her composure. though she cherished the accolades bestowed upon her, a lingering fear whispered in her thoughts, warning of the perilous bewitch of such sweet words.

it just might be the cause of her death someday. the extravagancy of the thought nagged at the glacier pillar’s mind, causing her to let out a modest chuckle that merely fueled the winter pillar’s confusion.

wasn’t she simply stating the truth? that was the only fact reverberating in akari’s mind as she attentively absorbed eva’s words. however, the winter pillar quickly brushed aside her perplexity as her ears were blessed with the sound of the glacier pillar's laughter.

how melodic it was...

as eva’s honeyed giggles continued to reverberate in the depths of akari’s mind, the heavenly maiden within her imagination had already fixated the exquisite ornament to her hair.

however, just as she was about to delicately secure the hairpin in place, a familiar gloved hand benignly interposed, halting her graceful movement.

with utmost grace, akari relinquished the delicate treasure from her grasp and gracefully descended onto her knees, a dancer's poise enshrining her every motion. she meticulously shuffled closer to eva, her eyes gleaming with an unspoken intention, as if she were an artist composing a masterpiece.

slowly, yet deliberately, akari positioned the hairpin on the right side of eva’s lustrous tresses, forsaking the left with a careful precision. every movement was executed with a refined elegance, as if she were an artisan sculpting an ephemeral masterpiece.

"that’s better…" she murmured, her voice a gentle caress, her breath mingling with the air as she tenderly brushed a stray strand away from eva’s enchanting visage.

as the lovestruck maiden’s irises quivered with an indescribable feeling, her heart pounded with the intensity of a symphony, as if it were an instrument played by the divine.

her lips, delicately pursed, mirrored the graceful curvature of akari’s own, forming a sublime duet of emotion and desire.

the winter pillar’s smile, faint yet resplendent, held an air of perfection in eva’s eyes—a fleeting moment of flawlessness that seemed to transcend the boundaries of mortal existence.

"i would prefer if this hairpin didn’t get in the way of that streak of your hair." akari uttered, her words an enchanting incantation that held both longing and reverence. the subtle plea in her voice carried an unspoken desire to preserve the natural beauty that adorned eva’s being, to honor the ethereal essence that danced with every strand.

in that sublime instant, bathed in the sun's golden rays that transformed the sakuranbo into a canvas of warmth and luminosity, they found themselves enveloped in an otherworldly realm.

there, the boundaries between dreams and reality blurred, and a humble object possessed the extraordinary ability to ignite a love that surpassed the confines of time and space.

—spring, where and when i fell even more for you.

[relleytrots]

TALK ABOUT HORNT VAMPIRES, PLEASE!!!

This is about the Compulsion thing, isn't it?

OK. Compulsions are born out of the Hunger - they are a consequence of Messy Criticals - but they are also evidence that the Beast isn't about the Blood and only the Blood and nothing but the Blood. The basic Compulsions "form the core of the vampiric personality" and they are Hunger, Harm, Paranoia... and Domination.

Vampires want control. It's how they stay safe, it's how they stay fed, it's one of their core drives. Of course they're going to lean on one of the cores of the human personality to establish that control, and they're going to Discipline their prey - what a choice of terms for the vampiric power set! - to maintain it.

We can talk about the raw power of the Lasombra - they're stronger than you, they can break your mind to their whim, and if you will insist on struggling, the deprivation of sight and movement and the critical but not lethal pain offered by various iterations of Obetneblivion.

We can talk about the horror that is Auspex and a mental Discipline. Tremere, Malkavians, Tzimisce and especially Toreador can read your desires off the back of your head and compel you to fulfil them and, in the latter case, you won't even necessarily know you're being played. Everything will feel... natural. For all that I love the overt hypno-kink potential of the Tremere in particular (it's wired into their relationships with each other, either part bound to enable Dominate or reliant on it because they can't bind), it's the Toreador who I find most horrifying and alluring here. My Ravnos and Setite characters wish they were that good.

We can even talk about meat crimes, if you want, but the rest of Vampire fandom on Tumblr has kinda got that part down already.

Let's go deeper, though, and get into the Compulsions of specific clans.

Judgment. Look, I don't want to spell this out for you, it seems too obvious. Transgress, and a Banu Haqim can't help themselves. They are responsible for you, you awful brat, and you keep on baiting them like this. It's a dangerous dance, working your lover's levers like this, but if you're into punishment you're going to get bitten.

Rebellion. Feral Impulses. I'm loading two Anarch pillar clans together because what unites the Brujah and the Gangrel, for our purposes, is their brattiness, the urgency and spite of their desire. The Gangrel one even goes so far as to mention that clothes are constricting: there's an exhibitionist thing waiting to get out here.

Morbidity. Don't even start me on the snuff movies. That's easy street. The Hecata can kill and resurrect something more abstract - like the desires of the jaded and the weary. When nothing excites you any more, when you feel like pleasure has lost its edge, here's a sadistic fucker with a bite that'll give you some perspective on yourself. A dangerous game, especially for mortals, but - OK, now we can talk about the snuff movies.

Transgression. What's a Minister without a boundary to kick down and slither over? You say vampires don't fuck and half the Setites have their kit off just to spite you. This is to say nothing of religious adulation, the stereotype of the serpent queen adored by pliant, presenting bodies. I actually find this one a bit tired - I'd like to see a Minister who's more of the World and the Devil than the Flesh.

Delusion - the Malkavian sensory overload, writhing in the embrace of imaginary lovers and less able to resist further... stimulus. You don't need to touch a Malkavian to set them off. But you know what I really think of, when I think about Malkavians? Power. She's beauty. She's grace. There's pain writ on her face. She carries such a terrible burden but with you, beloved, little one, with you she can let go. Unmask, and bask in the sensations she spent all night repressing. Why was Malakai so close to brother Saulot and brother Set? They both wanted to help her release. Set just wanted her to do it in public.

Cryptophilia - what does your Nosferatu lover want? What do you want? They're not going to be happy until they've turned over the deepest stone in your soul, put you in your space and found the tick you didn't even know you tocked. You lucky monsterfucker. You're going to be here a while.

Tempting Fate. Oh, Ravnos. You always want what you can't have. You just have to kiss the diva while you're taking off her necklace. You just have to make sure the Seneschal's secretary really wants to come and find you a second time. And a third. And... look, Ravnos have trouble with the word no and they can make you have trouble with it too.

Affective Empathy. Was there ever a clan so cursed as the Salubri? Ever a Kindred so driven to share, to ease, to comfort? The Salubri sex worker. The Salubri surrogate. The Salubri who cares for you so much. Won't you find solace with them? Please? Please? There's a desperate selfishness to their kindness that feels deliciously complex.

Obsession. Covetousness. The Toreador admire your beauty for itself. The Tzimisce admire it because it's theirs. They want to transform you, enshrine you, possess you absolutely. Hope you like being spoiled. Hope you like feeling beholden to the object of your Desire in a way the others will never understand. Only you appreciate it truly. Spoil it. Cradle it. Never let it go.

Perfectionism. Ruthlessness. I wasn't expecting the Tremere and the Lasombra to have so much in common, but both of them want to do the thing right. Again. Again. Again. Until it's perfect. Critically, it's them doing the thing - for all that they like giving commands, their Compulsion finds them wanting to fulfil them, to exceed them even, and Lasombra aren't the aloof hands-off kind of domme. Leave that to the Ventrue. They're going to work you over.

Arrogance. Basic as ever, the Ventrue love being the boss, but there's a catch. The order has to be given without supernatural aid. So this Compulsion forces the Ventrue to cultivate loyalty, respect, obligation, love and lust like a human, just so they can feel more like a good vampire. This is how you crack open the dignitas and get under their skin. This has a lot more potential than you'd think. If the Ventrue doesn't understand the limitations, at first, the poor bastard could be grinding his fangs night after night wondering why the cold instruction of Compel or the deliberate cruelty of Entrance isn't doing it for him. What does the Beast want that its powers do not provide?

God, I'm thinking about the erotic potential of Clan Ventrue now. Eff Emm Ell.

And Duskborn? You're mostly human anyway. Most of you are walking around with a thrill in your very veins! It hits like vitae, just about, but with no consequences. You gorgeous little snack packs. You have something the old thiccos want, and can't admit to taking. Isn't that delicious? Isn't that almost power? Isn't that how you get your Mawla sugar daddy? Isn't it fun to look these "real Kindred" over and realise that their Hunger is your Dominance? Who really has the power in this room: is it really the person giving all the orders?

[lovehotelreservation]

Belle of the Ball

Summary: There’s a banquet to commemorate Ishgard’s newfound goodwill to its neighboring nations on this evening, with all the attendees in their formal best.

But the more that Aymeric’s darkened blue eyes stay trained on your curves, the more he feels compelled to see you undressed. 

Sequel to “Lineage”

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Plus Size F!Reader/Aymeric

YEEEEEEEHAW KICKING OFF MY RECENT ROUND OF COMMISSIONS WITH THE RETURN OF HONRY MALEWIFE AYMERIC !!! BLESSINGS TO THE LOVELY COMMISSIONER FOR ENTRUSTING ME WITH YOUR PROMPT ONCE AGAIN!!! -------------

With the strong ties to religion that pervaded Ishgard for ages, it was to be expected for the upholding of traditional values to be reflected in many aspects of its society.

Especially its fashion.

While understandable, given the tundra that surrounded the city-state, clothes were meant to be beautiful by its modest presentation, where even an exposed shoulder would be seen as too risque.

But for Aymeric, his thoughts were anything but modest on this particular evening.

Not while the corner of his eye was trained on his dearest wife, his imminent mother to be while you conversed with others by his side at the banquet table that was set up at the courtyard of The Arc of the Venerable.

Here he was, trying to get his composure sorted as he prepared to present his speech in front of visiting leaders and ambassadors for the goodwill banquet that Ishgard’s House of Lords and House of Commons were hosting, yet his focus was trained solely on you.

And how absolutely ravishing that your body looked in your dress.

The attire itself was far from revealing, but the way the fabric hugged your thick curves with the color of its fabric complementing your complexion made his loins stir, all while the sight of your rounded belly left him absolutely enthralled.

As he had long sought after during your honeymoon, seeing how even more magnificent you carried yourself day by day with your newfound maternal glow captivated him like nothing else, as did seeing many alike approach you to offer you their well wishes.

The Warrior of Light was to bear the child of Ishgard’s Lord Commander.

The fact that his earnest wish had come to fruition left his heart feeling light with joy.

All while his love-stricken absent-mindedness had him accidentally knocking over his wine glass instead of picking it up while he attempted to soothe his parched throat, its contents spilling over the notes for his upcoming speech that was to conclude the banquet and its festivities.

A few giggles and chuckles from some nearby guests had him scolding himself for his clumsiness, but his self-admonishment came to a pause upon the sight of your hand proceeding to gently dab away at the mess with a cloth napkin.

The growing fluster on his face felt soothed.

Only for it to come roaring at full force upon feeling the heat of your breath against his ear as you leaned over to whisper teasingly,

“Someone seems distracted. Could you be thirsty, Ser Aymeric?”

The heat that dwelled within his chest ignited into a scorching spread through the entirety of his body, surging to his loins.

You knew.

Still, while he wouldn’t be able to deny the blushing red on the tips of his ears and across his cheeks, he looked towards you with loving exasperation as he sighed, “By the Fury, you do enjoy having me wrapped around your finger, don’t you, my love?”

Giggling, you withdrew the napkin, eyeing your husband with mischievous glee, “Perhaps.”

Aymeric reclined forward an ilm, his lips barely brushing over yours as he murmured with absolute intent,

“Then I’ll see to it that you writhe by my fingers the moment we return home.”

Now it was your turn to be left speechless, heat rising to your cheeks as you watched your husband gather his soaked notes and rise from his seat before he calmly strode over to the podium that was situated on the other end of the banquet space.

As you knew all too well, Aymeric was a man of his word.

And more than ever were you absolutely eager to get back home.

The night proceeded on with Aymeric addressing the entirety of the banquet with his speech, one that left all attendees in awe with each captivating word he uttered, successfully creating a sense of welcoming unity between attending Ishgardians and visiting diplomats.

Surely, while you had full focus on your husband’s presentation, it was hard for you to fully grasp the sincere intent of his words whenever his gaze would fall right towards your direction, his expression dignified but the look in his eyes emanating a powerful intensity that only you--as his beloved wife--would be able to pick up on, your thighs pressing tightly together every time he gazed your way.

Upon the conclusion of his speech, Aymeric wasted no time to return to the table, offering goodbyes and well wishes on behalf of the two of you, his sudden presence by your side expressing nothing short of immediate urgency.

Something that did not go unnoticed by the likes of Haurchefant and Estinien from House Fortemps’s side of the banquet, the former offering a thumbs up while the latter just smirked with a roll of his eyes as they watched the Lord Commander whisk you out the door.

Never have the two of you hurried through The Pillars so quickly, all the while you wondered if you were even going to make it to the bedroom.

But as Borel Manor came into view with the two of you soon entering the front door, you had your answer by your husband’s hands guiding you to get on your hands and knees right in the foyer.

The same lips that smiled ever so politely in greeting to all attendees were now smothering yours in unrestrained kisses.

The same hands that were shaking those of foreign dignitaries were now tearing at your dress and his own clothes, the cost and intricacies of the fabric be damned as his mind was possessed by the simple urge to get rid of anything that got in the way between your full plush physique and his wandering fingers, eager to grab at your breasts after being tempted from seeing their fullness within your attire.

The same voice that spoke so passionately to a crowd of countless was now low and guttural with need, praising you as if giving thanks to Halone herself in the same hissed breath of curses once he was finally sheathing his cock fully inside the slick, velvety heat of your core from behind.

One hand held steadfastly onto your hip while the other traveled along your skin to caress over your growing belly with reverence.

Aymeric bent forward, his lips falling by your ear as he murmured hotly, “My love, we haven’t even had our first child yet. Gods, do you truly wish to spoil me with even more children so soon...?”

His fingers trailed further up to instead seize at your buxom breast, the full weight of its plumpness only encouraging all the more to start plowing away into you as his overwhelming love and lust for you compelled him to growl,

“--because I will happily welcome such graciousness…!”

“Aymeric!”

His name was torn from your throat in a shameless cry, each wanton noise something that was meant for him and not a soul more, much like the way you were beneath him on all fours quivering with each vigorous thrust and hot load of seed he drilled into your core, your rounded belly and ring on your finger signifying who you were committed to.

Panting, Aymeric reached for your chin, turning your head so he could kiss your mouth hungrily as he found himself orgasming inside you yet again.

Your lives were already so intertwined, and with your child soon on the way, the two of you would be joined together all the more and he just couldn’t wait.

[enha-woodzies]

➸ CHAPTER 3 | " A NIGHT TO REENVISION "

starring: enhypen ft. i-land daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @serendipitysung (beta reader), @angeljungwon @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @fluffi @gyeraniee

[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]

“Welcome! Welcome, dearlings, to the most awaited social event of the season! Behold, the Queen’s Court! The ever famous abode of our dearly beloved Queen, and home to all the grande festivities of the ton!

From the most stunning exteriors basking under the magnificent moonlit night, to the mornings of bliss overlooking the entirety of Northumberland, comes the imperial garden acclaimed for hosting luncheons and occasional fancy picnics for the ton’s paramount roster of elites.

A few walks from the garden and you’ll witness the magnificent gazebos on the Swan’s Lake that won’t be denied of such praise. Known to and open for everyone's appeasements, as the Queen herself generously gave the citizens the free will and spot to frolic about whenever they desire. These carefully embellished gazebos are not just eye-candy for most, but also a cradle of the ton’s banal scandals.

Ooh, you’ve read it right, dear. Scandals. Hmm, juicy ones at that. It’s like digging up a rare find or getting a taste of that incomparable tea after a long, jaded day; that is how clandestine scandals feel like after being unmasked to the invasive and ever attentive ton.

So, once again, may I remind you that such secrecies and mischiefs will be unearthed soon after every controversial social event. Keep your corsets steady and your boots firm for not one, but several shenanigans that will happen tonight, so much that you might barely take another breath of relief. As the day falls and the anticipated night comes, beware and be aware.

This has been the Daily Tattle, flipping the pen to rest for a one-night breather on the royal court. I will leave the rest up to you.”

Sparkling, multi-layered chandeliers hang above the finest dressed attendees of the ton. With cascading tiers of crystals shimmering against the royal walls, one would wonder if it's the mounted light fixture or the magnificent ladies strutting through the foyers.

To their right, lies a raised platform with Northumberland’s exquisite septet orchestra, and to their left, wide terraces situated two meters away from each other with a scenic view of the Queen’s bountiful, maze-like garden, huddles up the lords and ladies for a breath of fresh night’s air with glasses of champagnes in hand.

Butlers in their uptight wardrobe stand against huge pillars at every possible arched entrances surrounding the royal court, as the Queen’s top cooks attend to the abundant feast that's splendidly sprawled on the lengthy table at the end corner of the hall.

Most of the ton’s eligibles have been exchanging glances and boasting off impressive accomplishments along every corner of the room, and some were already taking the honors by dancing across the thickly, carpeted floor.

With all his might and family’s pride, Lord Jay, first-born of the Park Family, leads his clan to the hall with his elegant and stunning treasure of a sister in hand as Lord Niki has their fine-aged mother on his.

“Ah! Emily, darling, finally! So great to see you tonight!” Lady Yang quickly turned her head to their direction before slowly rushing to Lady Park’s side. “Your sons are ravishing as always, dear.” said Lady Park as she gives each gentleman an acknowledging nod.

“My, my! If it isn't the jewel of the elites. Miss Y/n, dear, you look very gorgeous. Adorned in all these lovely things, you'll surely go home tonight without missing out a single lord in sight.”

“That is, if they're a suitable match for my sister, Lady Yang.” Jay butts in with a chuckle while tapping his sister’s hand that's tightly gripping his arm.

“You don't say.” Lady Yang smirks to the man before peering over her shoulder to catch her son’s attention. “Jungwon, dear, why don't you and Miss Y/n make use of your time on the dance floor, hm? I'm actually quite parched. Lord Jay, would you do me the honor?”

Jay reluctantly obliged, as if he had any other choices for that matter. He let go of his sister and tended to Lady Yang’s request with a heavy heart.

The two clans disperse to keep themselves entertained as they have such a long night ahead of them. Niki and Daniel walk towards one of the terraces to chatter over what other sports they shall try soon, while Sunoo immediately gasps at the sight of the banquet on the corner end of the room, quickening his paces with exhilaration plastered on his face.

He peers over his shoulders, checking any threat in sight. No one wants to have their reputation sabotaged in the Daily Tattle after all, especially on a special evening. “Care to have a taste of our delicious cakes, young lord?” Sunoo bit his bottom lip with his eyes fixed on the several cakes offered in front of him. He clears his throat in a noble manner while swiftly pulling the ends of his velvety vest. “One tiny plate will do, please.” He smiles awkwardly to the cook before taking a dreamy bite on the fluffy two-layered vanilla cake.

Whereas, the two eligibles are buying themselves some time before finally having a worthwhile exchange. The lavishly looking gentleman gently bowed affront the gorgeous lady before him, handing over his open palm for consent. “May I?” Y/n stifles a giggle hoping her cheeks won't flush while in the presence of her cherished lord.

She looks at his eyes for a moment, searching for a glimmer of light, something from this night to keep for her mind’s bliss. “Miss Park?” Jungwon clears his throat. “Oh! Forgive me. I thought there was something in your eyes.” She chuckles lightly.

But Jungwon, being the ever so oblivious lad, blinks his eyes repeatedly in wonder. “Really? What do you suppose it was?” Y/n gulps down. “M… me-” She mutters under her breath but the young lad’s attention quickly shifts to another gentleman, walking his way towards the two. Y/n huffs out a sigh of relief with the comforting thought that Jungwon didn't probably heard what she mumbled.

“Lord Yang, Miss Park, a pleasant evening. Allow me to introduce myself.” Jungwon steps a few inches away from Y/n as his eyes jump from the man, to the lady in confusion.

“Lord Lee. Simply known by the ton as Lord Heeseung. Please, if you must, be my muse on the dance floor, Miss Park.” Y/n looks at Jungwon in slight worry, but the latter looks away, seemingly unbothered by the sudden intrusion.

“I… I suppose I must.” She slips her hand on the newly arrived gent’s with her gaze trailing off from the love of her life.

“I suppose I should take a gander on the uh… terrace.” Jungwon's lips curve into a small smile and though his dimples are evident, they didn't appear too transparent for Y/n's liking.

“My lady, allow me to uplift your night with my presence.” Heeseung bows to the beautiful miss before taking her hand to intertwine it with his.

To the crowd, it would seem like they were both sharing endearing looks as the lord himself was a known charmer, but on the young miss’ end, she was rather staring at his eyes imagining what it would feel like if it was Jungwon’s dreamy pair she was drowning herself into.

Y/n never muttered a single word to the charming lord. Despite his subtle boast about his indisputable achievements in the high society, Y/n just gracefully went with the flow and would let out amused chuckles here and there for the sake of being polite.

“Lord Lee.” Jay, in his most serious tone, approaches the two the instant the music came to an end.

“Ah! Lord Park. Such a pleasure to see you around. Your sister's very lovely.”

“Without a doubt. Now if you would give me the honor to dance with my sister, I would much highly appreciate the compliment.” Y/n furrows her eyebrows to her brother who just subtly scoot off the pretty lord with such dominance. Heeseung responds with an acknowledging nod, locking eyes with Jay, before handing Y/n’s hand to her almost domineering brother.

“For a moment there I thought you were being pompous again but on a positive note, I very much appreciated the save.” Y/n now has her hand tangled on her brother's arm while Jay caresses it with comfort.

“Not to worry, sister. I won't let you concern yourself with such men.”

“Such men? Confessedly, he's rather ravishing.”

“He’s rather chatty. The likes of him, tsk, tsk.” The two siblings walk around the massive court, eyeing noble lords in sight to keep the young miss heedful of her choices.

“Lord Heeseung, the ton's most favored bachelor and a very skilled gentleman.”

“Of what?” Y/n leans closer to her brother's shoulder.

“Of a lot of things. He’d actually make a fine husband, all good for properly leading a household.”

“But? Knowing you, brother, there's always a catch.”

“Do not concern yourself with him, sis.” Jay clicks his tongue.

“Care to tell me why? So far, he's the only man here whom you've extolled such virtues to me. I don't see anything wrong with him.”

“His secrets are darker than his smooth, charcoal locks. Trust me sister, such stories aren't for your ears. Let's just go after men that aren't too… known.”

“You're not making any sense at all, Jay.”

“What I'm trying to say, sister, is let us find you a man with humble roots and aspirations and the most necessary factor, a tad bit anonymous.”

“Well, I should find myself a farm boy then.”

“Good god, Y/n!” Jay hisses as he rolls his eyes. Y/n enjoys making fun of her brother. Knowing Jay’s temper, Niki and her would sometimes hide behind his bedroom door and play with the lights in his room to scare him off.

“You wouldn't want all of the ton's eyes on you now, would you? Tirelessly spying on your lives, even the tiniest details and flaws should go uncovered. The ton has a lot of matters to talk about already and making you an addition to their roster of hottest topics for gossip is no good for our family’s name." Jay whispers against Y/n’s ear. So much for handling his sister's affairs well, he couldn't handle his own temper the same way.

The two enter into a more secluded room, sufficiently away from the royal court and the people's intrusions, but giving the music enough room to enter. It was seemingly the Palace’s library, very much welcome to whomever likes to scan the lofty pages of the archaic, thickly covered books.

Jay gently removes his sister's hand on his arm. “It is my utmost duty and desire to chaperone you tonight, sister. But someone made an exclusive request to me and I very much trust them enough to uplift you for the remaining moments of the night.”

“Wait, why? Where are you off to?” Y/n looks at her brother in slight worry. “You know full well that I'm a man of my word. I gave away my consent to have you dance with this gentleman, and rest assured I will stay on the other side of this door for you.” Jay leans closer against his sister's ear. “You'll thank me later. Enjoy, sister.” And with that being said, Jay gently closes the door behind him, leaving Y/n in a room with nothing but lingering curiosity.

The room is a tad dim as the only sources of light present are the two chandeliers hanging against the ceiling, exuding a bright, orange glow and the few candelabras resting on each lengthy table.

Y/n gawks at the finest interiors and exquisite, Corinthian columns standing at every corner of the room. She happily twirls around the center of the floor when a sudden shuffling of fabric cuts in. She jerks her head to the culprit and is welcomed by a delightfully shocking sight near the open window on her right.

“My lord! Apologies.” Y/n gasps then curtsies before the man affront.

“My lady.” He retorts. The lass had to blink twice to confirm that what she just heard wasn't a mirage. “Forgive me for keeping the silence.”

“No, no! It's alright. I was just... surprised.” The lady lets out a chuckle. “What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting for my turn.” Y/n furrows her eyebrows in confusion. “The dance? That charming lord out there surely knows his way with the ladies.” The two exchange giggles but is soon replaced by an awkward silence.

“May I?” Jungwon lets out his open palm to the lady. Although he was initially against the idea, it seemingly puzzles him that he had to ask Jay this particular favor among others.

Why did he do it? Probably to keep themselves hidden from the ton. But why would he hide? No one knows for now.

Y/n softly slips her flimsy fingers on the gent’s smooth palm as Jungwon takes his time to place his hand on the lady’s waist. With the wonderful tune echoing from the dance hall, the two gladly join the music with an alluring waltz.

Light exhales, and foreheads an inch away, Y/n could've sworn she muttered something about the lord’s lips as her eyes were locked upon them almost the entire time. Jungwon, on the other hand, would unconsciously bite his bottom lip here and there to stifle his shyness, making Y/n’s stomach implode in multiple fireworks and butterflies.

With the slow motion of their bodies, Jungwon's eyes trail off from the lady’s lips, to her beautiful hazel orbs that are shimmering, thanks to the chandelier’s reflection. He fixes his gaze upon her, and so does she. Looking intently, the gent almost feels like he's floating, figuratively and literally, on the mysterious, yet captivating abyss that are her eyes.

“They're beautiful.” He mutters under his breath. Y/n’s eyes lit up at the sudden statement. “Your eyes. Has anyone ever told you that they're beautiful?” The gentleman continues.

Y/n bit her bottom lip before whispering a response. “One that I can vividly remember,” 

“I'm certain they know exactly what they're talking about.” Jungwon mutters softly. Their noses briefly touch each other and to her surprise, Jungwon doesn't even flinch. She thought it a way to continue, and she did.

“a little boy of ten named Yang Jungwon.”

*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series' taglist!

ㅡ © ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

[thehierophage]

Atu XX: The Aeon

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Correspondences:

Hebrew Letter: Shin (c) Numerical Value as Letter: 300 Numerical Value as Word: 360/1010 [nic(Shin + Yod + Nun)/ ]ic(Shin + Yod + Nun fin.)] Meaning of Letter: Tooth Thoth Card: The Aeon (Atu XX) Alternate Title: The Spirit of the Primal Fire. Tree of Life Path Association: Path 31/31-bis, links Hod to Malkuth (8 & 10)

Astrological Sign: N/A Element: Fire / (31 bis.) Spirit (BA) Egyptian Godforms: Thoum-Aesh-Neith, Horus/Mau/Kabeshunt, Tarpesheth; (as 31-bis) Asar

Geomantic Figure: Those of Fiery Triplicity (p t q)

Gemstones: Fire Opal; (as 31-bis) Black Diamond Perfumes: (as 31) Olibanum, all Fiery Odours Plants: (as 31) Red Poppy, Hibiscus, Nettle; (as 31 bis) Almond in flower Animals: (as 31) Lion (Cherub of Fire); Sphinx (if sworded and crowned)

Colors (For Key 31 / 31 bis.):

King Scale – Glowing orange scarlet / White, merging Grey

Queen Scale – Vermillion/ Deep purple (near black)

Prince Scale – Scarlet, flecked gold /  The 7 prismatic colours, the violet being outside

Princess Scale – Vermillion flecked crimson & emerald / White, red, yellow, blue, black (the latter outside)

The Secret Instruction of the Master:

Be every Act an Act of Love and Worship!

Be every Act the Fiat of a God!

Be every Act a Source of radiant Glory!

Mnemonic:

Nuit, Hadit, Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Aeon

Of the Twin Child! Exult, o Empyrean!

Liber CCXXXI

Then also the Pyramid was builded so that the Initiation might be complete.

Holy Book Reading: Liber LXV, Ch. IV

IV

1.  O crystal heart! I the Serpent clasp Thee; I drive home mine head into the central core of Thee, O God my beloved.

2.  Even as on the resounding wind-swept heights of Mitylene some god-like woman casts aside the lyre, and with her locks aflame as an aureole, plunges into the wet heart of the creation, so I, O Lord my God!

3.  There is a beauty unspeakable in this heart of corruption, where the flowers are aflame.

4.  Ah me! but the thirst of Thy joy parches up this throat, so that I cannot sing.

5.  I will make me a little boat of my tongue, and explore the unknown rivers. It may be that the everlasting salt may turn to sweetness, and that my life may be no longer athirst.

6.  O ye that drink of the brine of your desire, ye are nigh to madness! Your torture increaseth as ye drink, yet still ye drink. Come up through the creeks to the fresh water; I shall be waiting for you with my kisses.

7.  As the bezoar-stone that is found in the belly of the cow, so is my lover among lovers.

8.  O honey boy! Bring me Thy cool limbs hither! Let us sit awhile in the orchard, until the sun go down! Let us feast on the cool grass! Bring wine, ye slaves, that the cheeks of my boy may flush red.

9.  In the garden of immortal kisses, O thou brilliant One, shine forth! Make Thy mouth an opium-poppy, that one kiss is the key to the infinite sleep and lucid, the sleep of Shi-loh-am.

10.  In my sleep I beheld the Universe like a clear crystal without one speck.

11.  There are purse-proud penniless ones that stand at the door of the tavern and prate of their feats of wine-bibbing.

12.  There are purse-proud penniless ones that stand at the door of the tavern and revile the guests.

13.  The guests dally upon couches of mother-of-pearl in the garden; the noise of the foolish men is hidden from them.

14.  Only the inn-keeper feareth lest the favour of the king be withdrawn from him.

15.  Thus spake the Magister V.V.V.V.V. unto Adonai his God, as they played together in the starlight over against the deep black pool that is in the Holy Place of the Holy House beneath the Altar of the Holiest One.

16.  But Adonai laughed, and played more languidly.

17.  Then the scribe took note, and was glad. But Adonai had no fear of the Magician and his play.

For it was Adonai who had taught all his tricks to the Magician.

18.  And the Magister entered into the play of the Magician. When the Magician laughed he laughed; all as a man should do.

19.  And Adonai said: Thou art enmeshed in the web of the Magician. This He said subtly, to try him.

20.  But the Magister gave the sign of the Magistry, and laughed back on Him: O Lord, O beloved, did these fingers relax on Thy curls, or these eyes turn away from Thine eye?

21.  And Adonai delighted in him exceedingly.

22.  Yea, O my master, thou art the beloved of the Beloved One; the Bennu Bird is set up in Philæ not in vain.

23.  I who was the priestess of Ahathoor rejoice in your love. Arise, O Nile-God, and devour the holy place of the Cow of Heaven! Let the milk of the stars be drunk up by Sebek the dweller of Nile!

24.  Arise, O serpent Apep, Thou art Adonai the beloved one! Thou art my darling and my lord, and Thy poison is sweeter than the kisses of Isis the mother of the Gods!

25.  For Thou art He! Yea, Thou shalt swallow up Asi and Asar, and the children of Ptah. Thou shalt pour forth a flood of poison to destroy the works of the Magician. Only the Destroyer shall devour Thee; Thou shalt blacken his throat, wherein his spirit abideth. Ah, serpent Apep, but I love Thee!

26.  My God! Let Thy secret fang pierce to the marrow of the little secret bone that I have kept against the Day of Vengeance of Hoor-Ra. Let Kheph-Ra sound his sharded drone! let the jackals of Day and Night howl in the wilderness of Time! let the Towers of the Universe totter, and the guardians hasten away! For my Lord hath revealed Himself as a mighty serpent, and my heart is the blood of His body.

27.  I am like a love-sick courtesan of Corinth. I have toyed with kings and captains, and made them my slaves. To-day I am the slave of the little asp of death; and who shall loosen our love?

28.  Weary, weary! saith the scribe, who shall lead me to the sight of the Rapture of my master?

29.  The body is weary and the soul is sore weary and sleep weighs down their eyelids; yet ever abides the sure consciousness of ecstasy, unknown, yet known in that its being is certain. O Lord, be my helper, and bring me to the bliss of the Beloved!

30.  I came to the house of the Beloved, and the wine was like fire that flieth with green wings through the world of waters.

31.  I felt the red lips of nature and the black lips of perfection. Like sisters they fondled me their little brother; they decked me out as a bride; they mounted me for Thy bridal chamber.

32.  They fled away at Thy coming; I was alone before Thee.

33.  I trembled at Thy coming, O my God, for Thy messenger was more terrible than the Death-star.

34.  On the threshold stood the fulminant figure of Evil, the Horror of emptiness, with his ghastly eyes like poisonous wells. He stood, and the chamber was corrupt; the air stank. He was an old and gnarled fish more hideous than the shells of Abaddon.

35.  He enveloped me with his demon tentacles; yea, the eight fears took hold upon me.

36.  But I was anointed with the right sweet oil of the Magister; I slipped from the embrace as a stone from the sling of a boy of the woodlands.

37.  I was smooth and hard as ivory; the horror gat no hold. Then at the noise of the wind of Thy coming he was dissolved away, and the abyss of the great void was unfolded before me.

38.  Across the waveless sea of eternity Thou didst ride with Thy captains and Thy hosts; with Thy chariots and horsemen and spearmen didst Thou travel through the blue.

39.  Before I saw Thee Thou wast already with me; I was smitten through by Thy marvellous spear.

40.  I was stricken as a bird by the bolt of the thunderer; I was pierced as the thief by the Lord of the Garden.

41.  O my Lord, let us sail upon the sea of blood!

42.  There is a deep taint beneath the ineffable bliss; it is the taint of generation.

43.  Yea, though the flower wave bright in the sunshine, the root is deep in the darkness of earth.

44.  Praise to thee, O beautiful dark earth, thou art the mother of a million myriads of myriads of flowers.

45.  Also I beheld my God, and the countenance of Him was a thousandfold brighter than the lightning. Yet in his heart I beheld the slow and dark One, the ancient one, the devourer of His children.

46.  In the height and the abyss, O my beautiful, there is no thing, verily, there is no thing at all, that is not altogether and perfectly fashioned for Thy delight.

47.  Light cleaveth unto Light, and filth to filth; with pride one contemneth another. But not Thou, who art all, and beyond it; who art absolved from the Division of the Shadows.

48.  O day of Eternity, let Thy wave break in foamless glory of sapphire upon the laborious coral of our making!

49.  We have made us a ring of glistening white sand, strewn wisely in the midst of the Delightful Ocean.

50.  Let the palms of brilliance flower upon our island; we shall eat of their fruit, and be glad.

51.  But for me the lustral water, the great ablution, the dissolving of the soul in that resounding abyss.

52.  I have a little son like a wanton goat; my daughter is like an unfledged eaglet; they shall get them fins, that they may swim.

53.  That they may swim, O my beloved, swim far in the warm honey of Thy being, O blessed one, O boy of beatitude!

54.  This heart of mine is girt about with the serpent that devoureth his own coils.

55.  When shall there be an end, O my darling, O when shall the Universe and the Lord thereof be utterly swallowed up?

56.  Nay! who shall devour the Infinite? who shall undo the Wrong of the Beginning?

57.  Thou criest like a white cat upon the roof of the Universe; there is none to answer Thee.

58.  Thou art like a lonely pillar in the midst of the sea; there is none to behold Thee, O Thou who beholdest all!

59.  Thou dost faint, thou dost fail, thou scribe; cried the desolate Voice; but I have filled thee with a wine whose savour thou knowest not.

60.  It shall avail to make drunken the people of the old gray sphere that rolls in the infinite Far-off; they shall lap the wine as dogs that lap the blood of a beautiful courtesan pierced through by the Spear of a swift rider through the city.

61.  I too am the Soul of the desert; thou shalt seek me yet again in the wilderness of sand.

62.  At thy right hand a great lord and a comely; at thy left hand a woman clad in gossamer and gold and having the stars in her hair. Ye shall journey far into a land of pestilence and evil; ye shall encamp in the river of a foolish city forgotten; there shall ye meet with Me.

63.  There will I make Mine habitation; as for bridal will I come bedecked and anointed; there shall the Consummation be accomplished.

64.  O my darling, I also wait for the brilliance of the hour ineffable, when the universe shall be like a girdle for the midst of the ray of our love, extending beyond the permitted end of the endless One.

65.  Then, O thou heart, will I the serpent eat thee wholly up; yea, I will eat thee wholly up.

Love is the law, love under will.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

The Leithian Reread - Canto XI (The Departure for Angband)

This chapter contains - at the reunion of Beren and Lúthien - my favourite passage in the Leithian, and one of my favourites that Tolkien has ever written, and I think part of my reason for delaying is that I wasn’t sure how to do it justice. But that’s a little farther on.

The chapter opens with a brief account of the Siege of Angband and the Dagor Bragollach. It’s a very strong section of the poem, to the point where it’s hard to know which specific portions to quote; the rhyme and cadence and imagery is all excellent, and is enhanced by a kind of triptych structure from beauty to fire to ruin:

Once wide and smooth a plain was spread,

where King Fingolfin proudly led

his silver armies on the green,

his horses white, his lances keen;

his helmets tall of steel were hewn,

his shields were shining as the moon.

...

Rivers of fire at dead of night

in winter lying cold and white

upon the plain burst forth, and high

the red was mirrored in the sky.

...

Dor-na-Fauglith, Land of Thirst,

they after named it, waste accurst,

the raven-haunted roofless grave

of many fair and many brave.

The description of the dark forest of Taur-nu-Fuin is also wonderfully evocative: sombre pines with pinions vast, / black-plumed and drear, as many a mast / of sable-shrouded shops of death / slow wafted on a ghostly breath.

One of the great recurring themes in Tolkien is the way that all evil, whatever its initial motive and impetus, falls in the end to ruin for ruin’s sake, to the destruction and defilement of all things as a end rather than a means. The image of the Anfauglith is repeated with the desolation before Mordor (gasping pools choked with ash and crawling muds, sickly white and grey, as if the mountains had vomited the filth of their entrails upon the lands about...great cones of earth fire-blasted and poison-stained) and the ruin that Saruman makes of Isengard (trees hewn down and replaced with pillars of metal and stone, joined by heavy chains; meadows paved over; underground furnaces with vents emitting steams, like a graveyard of the unquiet dead), and even Lotho and Saruman’s harm to the Shire (from knocking down Sandyman’s mill to make a bigger one that wasn’t needed, to the mill under Saruman not grinding grain at all but only making smoke and stench and fouling the water).

It’s not as if there is a fundamental benefit to Sauron in making the ruin in front of the Black Gate, or to Saruman in his attempts to destroy the Shire; both start out at one point with the aim of “fixing” the world and putting it in order, and this degenerates into control and rule for its own sake, and then into purposeless malice against not only people but the land itself, with misery and destruction as the only aim. We see small echoes of it elsewhere, as at Losgar.

This theme provides a strong contrast to Beren’s song before his departure across the Anfauglith, which is centred on celebration of nature and creation for its own sake, in and of itself, without any thought of control or ownership. The song fits with Beren’s demonstrated love of nature in earlier chapters, where during his lone guerilla war against Sauron he eats only plants, and is friend and allues with the animals of Dorthonion and with nature-spirits (minor Maiar?) as well: and many spirits, that in stone / in mountains old and wastes alone / do dwell and wander, were his friends. (It also has some echoes in Sam’s song in the Tower of Cirith Ungol.)

The song is given here in longer form than in The Silmarillion:

Farewell now here, ye leaves of trees,

your music in the morning-breeze!

Farewell now blade and bloom and grass

that see the changing seasons pass;

ye waters murmuring over stone,

and meres that silent stand alone!

The song also evokes a lot of the themes that came up in my discussion of CS Lewis’ The Four Loves, particularly the part on eros. Beren has virtually no expectation of coming back alive; he expect to die at best, or be captured and tortured at worst. But making the attempt is, to him, better than willfully choosing a life separated from Lúthien, and better than risking her coming to harm because of him. (The latter, as she will soon point out, is no longer something he has any choice about!) Both of them prefer the very high probability of torment or death over being parted from each other.

Additionally, Beten’s song is one of the purest expressions within Tolkien’s works of the element of admiration in love: delight in the beloved in their own right, above and beyond anything that has happened or will happen or any connection to you personally:

Though all to ruin fell the world / and were dissolved and backward hurled / unmade into the old abyss / yet were its making good, for this / the dawn, the dusk, the earth, the sea / that Lúthien for a time should be!

This feels, also, like it is getting at something deep within the mood of Tolkien’s works, where so much is destroyed or fades or is lost: the existence of beauty and goodness continues to be good, to be meaningful, even when the good and beautiful things have themselves passed away. They were, and that is better than if they had never been.

And here we come to my favourite part of the entire Leithian:

“Ah, Beren, Beren!” came a sound,

“almost too late have I thee found!

O proud and fearless hand and heart,

not yet farewell, not yet we part!

Not thus do those of elven race

forsake the love that they embrace.

A love is mine, as great a power

as thine to shake the gate and tower

of death with challenge weak and frail

that yet endures, and will not fail

nor yield, unvanquished were it hurled

beneath the foundations of the world.

Beloved fool! escape to seek

from such pursuit; in might so weak

to trust not, thinking it well to save

from love thy loved, who welcomes grave

and torment sooner than in guard

of kind intent to languish, barred,

wingless and helpless him to aid

for whose support her love was made!”

Thus back to him came Lúthien:

they met beyond the ways of Men;

upon the brink of terror stood

between the desert and the wood.

This returns to the previously-stated theme around eros: for Lúthien, being captured and tirmented in Angband is a better fate than willingly parting from him, or allowing him to leave her behind for her protection. And this, I think, is why Beren and Lúthien succeed in gaining the Silmaril: be ause their goal is not the Silmaril, their goal is each other.

But there’s more to it than that. I love the passage for Lúthien’s assertion that it is not Beren’s chouce whether she can risk danger and death for his sake. He does not have either the power or the right to protect her from her love of him. (I do think it’s something of a wonder that he still decides to go ahead with the Quest after this rather the the alternative of “let’s elope and be nature-hobos together”, but a lifetime of looking over your shoulders for the forces of Angband and the Fëanorians [yes, I think C&C would’ve gone after them out of spite even without the Quest, given their behaviour in the previous chapter] and Doriathrim sent to kidnap Lúthien back home is daunting in its own way; at least this way, if they succeed it will be over.)

This also goes for friendship (philia): in The Lord of the Rings hobbits express the same sentiment in more commonplace terms, in Merry’s, “You cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo,” and Sam’s “I’m coming too, or neither of us isn’t going. I’ll knock holes in all the boats first.” Or, even more so, in another line of Sam’s during the Breaking of the Fellowship:

“All alone and without me to help you? I couldn’t have a borne it, it’d have been the death of me.”

“It would be the death of you to come with me, Sam,” said Frodo, “and I could not have borne that.”

“Not as certain as being left behind,” said Sam.

Returning to the Leithian: Beren is still reluctant to have Lúthien accompany him into danger. And has a line here whose sentiment always seems to show up in my thoughts about Maedhros and Fingon (“Thrice now mine oath I curse,” he said, “that under shadow thee hath led!”)

Huan, returning with disguises for Beren and Lúthien, uses his second of three lifetime chances of speech to back up Lúthien’s point, and to advise them to disguise themselves as Draugluin and Thuringwethil. This includes one of the more amusing lines in the Leithian, with Huan’s Lo! good was Felagund’s device, but may be bettered. Hi, Finrod, you’re being patronized by a dog. :D He thinks you get, maybe, a B+ on the tactics planning. (Beren gets an F, quite bluntly: Hopeless the quest, but not yet mad, unless thou, Beren, run thus clad in mortal raiment, mortal hue, witless and redeless, death to woo.)

Lúthien uses magic to disguise them effectively, and to prevent the terrible disguises from affecting their minds; it’s difficult, skillful, and lengthy work: With elvish magic Lúthien wrought / lest raiment foul with evil fraught / to a dreadful madness drive their hearts / and there she wrought with elvish arts / a strong defence, a binding power / singing until the mdnight hour.

It is a few days’ journey across the Anfauglith to the gates of Angband and, again, reminiscent of Frodo and Sam’s journey through Mordor; briefer, but also worse in some respects, as they have neither food nor water.

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: Big Daddy

Blanche’s Southern gentleman father visits with unusual news. Sophia curses a neighbor.

Picture It...

Sophia and Dorothy meet in the kitchen the morning after a big storm. Sophia is cranky because Rose woke her up, afraid and wanting comfort. All four Girls meet in the living room, where Blanche excitedly explains that her father, who she calls Big Daddy (who everyone calls Big Daddy, in fact), is coming for a visit. She excitedly reminisces about how beloved he was by her community growing up, getting caught in her remembrances of her saccharine Southern upbringing (which Dorothy finds ridiculous). Blanche hurries out to go get gifts for him.

Rose goes out to the lanai, and calls out for Sophia and Dorothy. They find that the storm has knocked a tree down on to their lanai furniture. Their next-door neighbor, Mr. Barton enters and notices the tree. When Rose says it’s fortunate his tree didn’t fall on his house instead, he takes exception to it being “his.” He refuses to move the tree despite Mrs. Barton’s attempts to smooth over the situation. When he makes a derisive remark about “you Italians” to Dorothy and Sophia, the latter gives him the Evil Eye. He’s now cursed until he moves the tree. Mr. Barton scoffs and leaves with his wife.

DOROTHY: Oh Ma, why’d you do that? You just made matters worse with that ridiculous curse. SOPHIA: Ridiculous? The curse works. Believe me. I’ve used it before. DOROTHY: Oh, when? SOPHIA: Baltimore Colts, New York Jets, 1969. Draw your own conclusions.

The next day, Dorothy says she’s confirmed via their property map that the tree definitely belongs to Mr. Barton and he has to haul it away, though Sophia still things the curse will do the trick. Blanche emerges in a mint-colored Southern Belle gown, but when she answers the door, it’s Mr. Barton. He’s convinced Sophia slashed his tires, and refuses to move the tree. Dorothy opens the door in a fury after Mr. Barton storms out, only to see Big Daddy Hollingsworth, in a Colonel Sanders suit with a ten-gallon hat on.

Blanche excitedly introduces everyone to her father. Big Daddy pays great compliments to Rose, who he compares to Dinah Shore (which... yeah, I can see it); and to Sophia, who he praises for her stunning, classical “Eye-talian” beauty. (Sophia: “You need boots to listen to this guy.”) He tells Blanche he has a surprise for her: He’ll be singing at a club the next night. Blanche is stunned, and asks why he’d do that, and he says singing is his “calling.” After he leaves, Blanche worries at his apparently out-of-character behavior, and Dorothy encourages her to talk to him instead of jumping to conclusions.

BLANCHE: I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for why my daddy’s lost the stuffing out of his comforter.

Big Daddy returns that night, and Blanche is waiting up to talk to him. He effuses about how much he loves singing, and plays her one of his own compositions. It’s a genuinely terrible song that leaves Blanche cringing. When he finishes, she tells him this sudden career change concerns her, and tells him to go home and rest. He reveals that he sold their family home to fund his singing career, and Blanche explodes, forbidding him from continuing with his schemes. Big Daddy takes exception, and yells back until the other Girls come in. He apologizes to them and leaves the house.

Blanche is still upset and tells the Girls her father’s really gone off the deep end, selling the property he spent his lifetime building. As the Girls drift into the kitchen, Blanche is having trouble reconciling that her father is no longer the pillar he once was and has reached an age where they need to start thinking about his mental health. Dorothy and Rose comfort her, with Rose reminiscing about a time her father pulled a tuna-shaped parade float up a hill singlehandedly while dressed as a jar of mayonnaise. Blanche says her dad’s always been there to take care of her, and now she’ll have do the same for him.

BIG DADDY: You know, if there was some rain coming down, and a soft train whistle in the distance, this moment would have the makings of a first-rate country song.

The next night, Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy are off to see Big Daddy’s show at the Sagebrush Club -- Sophia declines when invited. Mr. and Mrs. Barton arrive, and Mr. Barton is a mess, asking to see “the witch.” He begs Sophia on his knees to remove the Curse, as he’s suffered several other inexplicable misfortunes. Sophia agrees when he promises to remove the tree, and he quickly hurries out. Mrs. Barton stays behind to apologize to the Girls and reveals that she did all the “curse” work to get her husband to act right.

The Girls arrive at the rather seedy Sagebrush Club, where Blanche pretends not to know every man present or that there’s a mechanical bull in the backroom. She asks a waiter about their reservations, and he reveals management canceled Big Daddy’s second show after the first show. Blanche goes backstage to comfort her father. A very stereotypical cowboy named Rusty attempts to put the moves on Dorothy and Rose, but Dorothy quickly puts the smackdown on him.

Blanche enters Big Daddy’s dressing room and tells him how sorry he is that his show was canceled. Big Daddy says he’s just going to have to try again. Blanche asks him why he’s going to continue when he’s no good. He tells her he knows he’s no good, and opens up to her about the real reason he wants to try this: He’d always wanted to have a big adventure, but settled down with Blanche’s mother. Now he wants to try something new, something adventurous. Blanche apologizes for not hearing him out, and sings the chorus of his song with him.

“Excuse me, Rose, but have I given you any indication at all that I care?”

Both the A- and B-plots this week are excellent, and the characters all have some great zingers. Big Daddy, Blanche’s very Southern father, makes his first appearance on the show, and after being talked up by Blanche both in this episode and in previous episodes, he doesn’t disappoint. He honestly wouldn’t look out of place as a one-off character on Dallas.

I find it interesting that both Rose and Blanche have already had episodes where they have to learn how to interact with their parents as adults. Dorothy and Sophia are already on that level, so I suppose it makes sense that those two need to learn how to do the same thing. Outside of Sophia, parents don’t play as big a role in this show as children do, which makes sense considering the Girls are grandparents themselves -- Big Daddy is the only one who will play any kind of recurring role.

BLANCHE: Now listen girls, my father is an old-time Southern aristocrat, who is used to fine manners and gentility. So please, please, please be on your best behavior. *they all look at Sophia* SOPHIA: Why’s everyone looking at me?!

The A-plot’s a bit melodramatic, but it’s mitigated by the scene where Big Daddy tries to sing. It’s such an hilariously terrible performance, but I think the funniest part actually comes from the audience. After he strums the final note on his guitar, there’s a beat for the audience reaction, and you can hear one or two members hesitantly start to clap, as if they’re not sure if that’s the expected reaction, but other than that it’s silence until Blanche says her line.

This is one of the final roles of character actor Murray Hamilton. It’s not often I get to say an actor appeared on both of my favorite older TV shows: Golden Girls and Perry Mason. If only he’d also appeared on I Love Lucy, then I’d get the hat trick -- I’m still looking for the actor who was on all three. Hamilton died just four months after the episode aired, which is presumably why the character was recast when he appears in a later episode. He’s very convincing as Blanche’s gentlemanly father, even though he was only 10 years older than Rue McClanahan. Though it is a bit disconcerting that Blanche’s father looks younger than some of the men she’s dated.

No one says how old Big Daddy is, but presumably since Blanche is in her 50s (she wouldn’t admit that on pain of death, but come on, she has a 16-year-old grandson), he’s got to be in his late 70s, early 80s. While it might be a bit late to launch a career as a country-western singer (who does Beatle medleys for some reason), the message that you’re never too old to try new things and your mental health should not be called into question for it is still a good one.

That said, the part that worries me is when he tells Blanche, almost as an afterthought, that he’s sold his family estate to fund his new venture. Since that’s a property that presumably his four children would have grown up on and that they’re now not going to inherit, it’s actually kind of concerning that he just sold it without making any of them aware of it. I know I got on Kirsten back in the episode about Rose’s will for acting entitled to her mother’s money and getting mad that Rose would have spent it, and I still stand by that.

SOPHIA: Play it safe. Stick with the curse. DOROTHY: Ma, I’ve stayed with you all these years. *Sophia raises her hand to administer the Evil Eye again*

But the difference here being Blanche is more upset that he would do something so impulsive after having spent so much of his life building up that estate -- and I’m with her on that, not because it points to a potential health problem, but because it’s reckless and foolish. And it doesn’t really get resolved. Blanche just agrees to support her father and doesn’t seem to address the fact that he’s now effectively homeless.

One of the funniest parts of the episode is at the beginning, when Blanche is reminiscing about her Southern upbringing and makes it sound like she grew up 100 years in the past -- what with all the sipping mint juleps under an old magnolia and exchanging prize-winning pecan pie recipes. That’s funny enough, but what makes it funnier is that Dorothy and Sophia have about as much patience as you’d expect two Brooklyn women to have for such gauzy nonsense:

DOROTHY: Tell me Blanche, during any of this, would the farmhands suddenly break into a chorus of “Dem Old Cotton Fields Back Home?” ... BLANCHE: I want him to feel right at home. SOPHIA: Then get the Millers across the street to tar and feather their lawn jockey.

The B-plot is what really makes this episode great. While Blanche and her father working out their issues is engaging enough, but Sophia steals the show when she goes to war with Mr. Barton. The Evil Eye she directs his way is nothing short of epic. I also enjoy that Dorothy is just as invested in it as her mother is, getting equally offended at being referred to as “You Italians,” she tries to get Mr. Barton to back down through the power of civic justice and a property map, and when all else fails, echoes her mother calling him “Mouth,” albeit accidentally to Big Daddy.

Also, bravo to this show for fleshing out Mrs. Barton. She appears in two scenes and at first appears to do nothing but try ineffectively to correct her jerk husband. Then comes the revelation that she was actually responsible for all the misfortunes that befell him -- I admire her ingenuity, because that’s the only way a stubborn bastard like her husband would ever apologize to his neighbors, despite clearly being in the wrong.

DOROTHY: Blanche, who do we see about our table? BLANCHE: Oh I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve ever been here. RUSTY: Well howdy Blanche! COWBOY: Howdy Blanche. Ladies. BLANCHE: No, I’m wrong. I think the museum did have its Christmas party here.

By the way, is it just me, or is there a lot of interest in Sophia’s Italian-ness this episode? Not only is her subplot about the Sicilian evil eye (when I was a kid, I thought that was made up -- I’m obviously not even remotely Italian), but Mr. Barton uses it as an insult, and then Big Daddy compliments her “Eye-talian” beauty. Sophia’s Sicilian flavor is one of my favorite things about her, and this episode has some of her best moments.

Out of all the characters, Rose is the one who ends up getting short shrift this week. I’m noticing something from this first season: Whenever there’s an episode where one Girl is left out of the bulk of the story, the writers compensate by giving her a big monologue in roughly the middle of the episode, usually in the kitchen over cheesecake. Once you notice the pattern, it’s impossible to un-notice it -- several episodes in this first season alone have followed this pattern.

ROSE: What on earth do you do with a mechanical bull? DOROTHY: Introduce him to a mechanical cow, Rose.

Still, if Betty White only gets a handful of lines and one monologue this week, she makes full use of them, and it’s especially cute that, unlike Dorothy and Sophia, she seems to enjoy the very Southern-ness that Blanche and her father exude, saying “It’s like being in Gone with the Wind!”

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

The entire curse B-plot, especially the lines: “I can’t sleep! I can’t eat!” “You can’t sit.”

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 50 – Yuhyung’s Scheme, and...

“What favor?”

Rael retorted, his posture frozen in poor coordination, a result of being interrupted when he was about to take a major leap towards KSA headquarter.

As he was waiting for Yuhyung’s following words, Rael was met with an unexpected heavy grit of the human’s upper and lower teeth, because of which he shifted his red irises towards the rear.

“What is it?”

The atmosphere perched upon his back turned grave out of blue, and Rael’s voice got graver to match it.

He could not fathom what could make such a hopelessly careless man so solemn without any warning.

“I know this is sudden, but I must ask you not to go to KSA.”

“What? What do you mean by that?”

“Please, could you take us to somewhere else? And I mean right now.”

They had not a second to waste for the QuadraNet project, and Rael could not be more baffled at Yuhyung’s request.

Still, as far as he was concerned, Yuhyung Jang was not the type to speak or behave with no reason, so Rael decided to give him ears.

“There’s someone after us.”

Right then Rael’s blonde hair made a rushed turn towards the speaker.

“What did you say?”

This cannot be.

I am the umbra unmatched, the sharpest steel of Kertias. There’s no way somebody, if anybody, could bypass my senses.

For the mere seconds he spent waiting for Yuhyung’s further details, the storm in Rael’s brain took his cognition towards deepest dread.

Normally he would have begun retracing everything he knows and has done until now, to ultimately and calmly deduce the most likely case that is at work at the moment.

However, he was held back by the barely-made progress of the QuadraNet project and the hardly-improved relation with the Kertia patriarchs.

What if someone did deceive my senses?

What if such qualified enemy is indeed stalking us?

What if I just went ahead and invited such surely-powerful foe to the KSA’s domain AND the country that the Noblesse has made his home?

And what if it turns out I raised the curtains for the sequel of Ignes’s assault on KSA or the trigger of this human’s trauma?

Rael could see the reprimanding faces of patriarchs ghosting within his vision.

His legs would have given out if Yuhyung had not called him once more.

“Uh, allow me to rephrase that. There’s someone after you.”

To me alone?

Does this mean this pursuer has something personal to deal with me, unrelated to Lukedonia or QuadraNet or the Union?

The tremor that was creeping over Rael’s entire shape was relatively gone.

Relatively.

“And I’d like to apologize... This is my fault.”

“What do you mean that it’s your fault?”

“Because this person is a noble just like you.”

“What? What do you...”

“There is this extremely pale man that looks like he’ll collapse if someone pokes him. Do you know him by any chance?”

“Deneb Illiness? Is that who you’re talking about?”

“Oh, that’s right. He called himself Deneb Illiness.”

Rael was aware that their history was not very beautiful.

Or rather, they had no history at all.

But is there a reason for him to chase me?

Above all, why is this human apologizing me regarding him?

Rael was busy rolling his eyes, and Yuhyung feigned guilt by tightening the entire muscles on his face.

“And for duration of my stay at Lukedonia... I served him as his eyes.”

Don’t tell me, muttered Rael in his head.

“He forecast that you’ll rarely separate yourself from me, as you are the Lukedonian ambassador for this project. So he demanded I spy on you for him.”

“...He told you to spy on me?”

“Y-yes... He said he should keep his eyes on you and even eliminate you if he has to, in order to get what he wants.”

Rael was shocked enough that someone has been trailing them from Lukedonia.

His shock was doubled upon finding out it was none other than Deneb Illiness.

Now his head was spinning to know that Yuhyung had been performing espionage behind everyone’s back for the noble with bloodless looks.

That did not mean the growth he had gone through during his strife against Union is entirely gone; despite that it took him a lot of effort to keep his lobes from being fragmented, his brain was slowly but surely whirring in process.

The only scenario he could think of to assign appropriate reason for Deneb to dare dream of watching and killing him, to the latter’s utmost displeasure, was a love triangle that involves Seira.

Though Deneb has never made his obsession with Seira conspicuous in Rael’s presence, the Kertia’s memories unfortunately remained vivid in terms of the nightmarish tea party during which he was relentlessly ripped apart by the non-octaclans.

Now he could see so very well what Deneb intended during the said tea party; it was no task at all for Rael to link the enlightenment to the fact that Deneb was currently on the chase for him.

“So, did he slip that he’ll be coming all the way to Korea for me?”

“No, he warned me that once you depart, he will wait several minutes before he sets off, so that you wouldn’t notice how you have an uninvited guest looking for you. He added that once he gets caught in a battle with you... He will go all out against you, whether I’m there or not, lest you note we have a connection. He was basically telling me that I’m on my own when it comes to my life.”

“He didn’t order you to relay all this to me, did he?”

“No. Consider it my repentance, albeit late, for deceiving you and other nobles and being unable to beat his coercion and...”

Yuhyung deliberately let the end of his speech droop, in order to make taut the bond of faith Rael has attached to him.

He knew how Rael will react after this.

Rather, he was hoping he knew correctly.

Actually, there was no need to hope; he was already confident that his knowledge will be as true as it can be.

He remembered how that pallid noble admitted himself that his competence in combat cannot be even dubbed competence, compared to what Rael could exercise.

He even specified that he would last less than 3 seconds given that the Kertia pulls out something called soul weapon.

Yet Yuhyung knew that now Rael will recalibrate his destination so that he could settle this quietly by himself.

Based on what he had picked up during his business at Lukedonia, Rael Kertia is fatally conscious of himself.

Though Yuhyung had not the faintest idea who could make him so self-conscious, there was no doubt they were influential enough to make THE head of the Kertias fear his own word and action.

And Rael was severely afraid of providing them with reason to give him a heart-rending lecture, which Yuhyung assumed will be in effect whether he is within or beyond Lukedonian boundaries.

Which gave Yuhyung conclusion that he would not want to cause any trouble in Korea, no matter how brief or small it is.

Therefore, if he is to cast an idea that he must deal with Deneb by himself without anybody else’s awareness, Rael would not be able to walk away from such option.

“Are you going to be okay? I feel like we’re about to have a skirmish with your own kind. Uh, but I’m not questioning your fighting capabilities! They have already been deemed worthy during your struggle against the topmost modified humans from the Union.”

Rael’s lips remained zipped as he listened.

“B-but still... Forgive me for being nosy, but I’m worried you might get caught in trouble once your people find out that you had a physical issue with your own kind during your mission related to the QuadraNet project, though you’re not the cause...”

With the bait out in open, Yuhyung expected Rael to take a bite; and the noble did, by exhibiting awfully dense fear.

Rael’s face was invisible from Yuhyung’s angle; nevertheless, he could see what Rael was going through, thanks to the shiver Rael’s backside delivered to his chest, which was certainly not there before.

“...Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he will not lay his hands on you. And... I must ask you not to spill this to any other soul.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, sir! I happen to be going against my boss’s order to come back as soon as possible.”

“...Now, I shall take you there.”

“There...? What there?”

“I’m terribly sorry I must take you there, but... That’s the only place in this country that comes with an empty space big enough so I wouldn’t have to mind my surroundings during brawl.”

Rael said no more, and Yuhyung, having foreseen this, simply nodded to show his consent.

The spot that bloody chaos took place due to Lunark, Zarga, Urokai, and 8th Elder remains as a concrete desert that looks like a crater created by a gigantic meteor.

To Yuhyung, it is the birthplace of everything that had ever happened to him.

‘As much as I’m still unpleasant to even near that place, I suppose it’s only logical that I finish everything there.’

Rael told him once more to hold on tight, and Yuhyung followed suit, as his lips shrunk in infinitesimal rate.

I’m almost there.

Just a little bit more, and I’m gonna make it.

*****

Meanwhile, somewhere across the sea

Pow! Thud!

Pow!!!

The blue-black surface was being bombarded with an array of deafening noise and aquatic pillars humongous enough to swallow an apartment at least twelve stories high.

Faster... Faster! Come on, don’t fail me now, my legs!

Lunark had been mercilessly kicking across the sea ever since she had passed the shorelines of Korea.

During her race, the wrinkles rooted to her forehead and corners of her lips did not fade a bit.

She could only come up with the worst of the worst-case scenarios regarding what the definitely-to-shred-into-pieces man who repaid her beloved’s hospitality with betrayal would be up to at this very moment, which got renewed and worsened every second.

Which is why she could catch the silhouette of Frankenstein’s island much faster than usual.

She could soon behold the island’s face, and that was when her own face began to shift.

‘...Did my eyes choose to go on a strike because of the recent series of business trips I booked myself in a series? That island shouldn’t look like that.’

Lunark closed the distance with the island that had obviously gotten monochromatic in overall, and she found herself in stupefaction.

“What in the...?”

The heavenly sight that almost rid her of her purpose of visit during her introduction to the place was nowhere to be seen.

Everything – emerald-hued leaves and bushes, petals of thousand colors waltzing in the wind, and horde of butterflies flashing their mesmerizing natural dyes – were all gone, as if telling her that they were all her imaginations.

She was instead met with the aftermath of the scent from something burned and the concrete debris that had been flung to the corners of the island.

‘Did they put up a round while I was on my way?’

After a pregnant gulp, Lunark forced her half-petrified legs to move.

Before she could even take good several steps towards the building, she gasped at the mind-numbing, creepy feeling grasping her from head to toe.

It was, according to Lunark’s personal impression, what one would feel if death is made compatible with sixth sense.

And the only time she could ever feel like this happened when Frankenstein summoned the cursed weapon to brandish his cursed power.

Her mind already surmising that there was at least a bloodshed in this place, Lunark hurriedly ran, her cloak flying about behind her, until her eyes caught a figure ahead.

‘Is that him...?!’

(next chapter)

At the moment I happen to be composing chapters that feature battle scenes, but the chapters I’m posting didn’t even get started yet lol. Which reminded me that as much as I’m moving on to the highlight of this fic, I still have a long way to go until the finale. XD

[basicsofislam]

ISLAM 101: 5 PILLARS OF ISLAM: ALMS AND CHARITY: FIQH OF ZAKAT IN DETAIL:

HOW IS ZAKAT PAID? (Part2)

IS IT BETTER TO GIVE ZAKAT SECRETLY OR OPENLY?

The comparative virtue of secretly and openly giving zakat or sadaqa differs according to place and time. Although it may be better, on occasions, to give openly, at other times, opting to pay secretly may provide a wiser option. Verses and hadiths elaborating on both these circumstances afford us different clues in relation to this point. For example, “To give alms in public is good, but to give charity to the poor secretly is better for you and will atone for some of your sins,” (Baqara 2:271) “Those who spend their wealth by night and day, in private and public, shall be rewarded by their Lord”(Baqara 2:274). Based on these Qur’anic statements, we ascertain the diverse benefits of secret and open charities depending on time and place. Yet, Muslim scholars have preponderantly advised an open payment of zakat while recommending the secret offering of other charities.

Though an open payment may act as an encouragement to others, a secret payment forestalls the emergence of vices, like pride, arrogance about one’s means, and showing off. A person may be able to steer clear of these vices while performing zakat, which is, after all, an imperative obligation which is supposed to be performed with the intention of purifying the wealth; however, as for sadaqa, a voluntary activity, falling prey to these vices may come more easily. It is for this reason while enumerating the seven groups of people to be shaded under the shade of the Throne, on a horrendous Day where no other shade exists, the Messenger of God also includes, “those whose left sides are oblivious to what their right sides have given (as charity).”7

Therefore, it is essential to give voluntary sadaqa or charities secretly, and for this reason, it is said that a supererogatory sadaqa given in secret is 70 times more virtuous and valuable than that which is given openly. The Noble Messenger articulated the following: “Goodness never exhausts, sins are not forgotten, and God never dies; so do as you wish.”8 Indeed God is Alive and Eternal, a Watcher and Guard over all things perpetrated. As verified by this additional declaration: “We have shown him the right path, whether he be grateful or ungrateful” (Insan 76:3). In other words, human may either nurture a profound gratitude towards the Being Who has, through innumerable ways, made him aware of His transcendent existence, or ungratefully, throw into dissipation all his privileges, including himself, by shamefully choosing the path of disgraceful rebellion.

Note that giving explicitly may involve a degree of disdain on behalf of the benefactor as s/he acquires personal insight to the needs, condition, and circumstances of the beneficiary. In addition, a hadith such as, “The hand which gives is better than the hand which receives,” might spuriously justify disdain in souls lacking full insight into the Message. But clearly, disdaining and abasing a Muslim has indubitably been decreed forbidden.

A further difficulty arises if the recipient is not known to be poor by the public—someone who has kept his/her need quiet, so to speak—in which case giving the sadaqa overtly may incur the ill-thought from both the donor and others that the recipient is accepting the donation without a genuine need. Here, then, is another example of how each act of faith becomes both an opportunity and a trial—for it is not right to indulge in such thoughts about others, and we risk rapidly and completely annulling any potential benefits to ourselves if we fail to check our tendencies to judge or criticize in this way. Thus, in order to fend of Satan’s whispers and the personal embarrassment the poor may experience, the best method remains that of our predecessors—one in which we secretively place the sadaqa in a location which is easily accessible by those in need, and then swiftly leave.

Perhaps we could make an exception for those towering spiritual figures who, by virtue of having already conquered their own egos, are not easily affected by the side-effects which plague the majority, and by whose leadership in the field of charity, many more souls might be drawn into random giving. For these noble individuals, visibility in the act of sadaqa might be appropriate. But this would certainly be an atypical situation—not a recommended practice for the average person.

Putting the Qur’anic balance into the picture, it can be ascertained that, occasionally, it is preferable to opt for an open payment of zakat, however, as mentioned earlier: “To give alms in public is good, but to give charity to the poor secretly is better for you, and will atone for some of your sins. God has knowledge of all that you do” (Baqara 2: 272). There is a balance, in other words. In similar fashion to salat (prayer) and sawm (fasting), the performance of obligatory actions is an instrument of public encouragement, as well as clearing its performer from likely incriminations. The highly potent and symbolic words of the Prophet in reference to those deliberately falling back from congregational salats were as follows: “I have contemplated leaving a deputy to lead, then burst in on those who, without excuse, fall back from salats, and set their houses ablaze.” In addition, the outer manifestation of a life of faith, of an adherence to the practice of Islam, is not a trivial matter, as verified by another hadith “Whoever performs our salat, faces our qibla (the direction turned towards during salat, towards the Sacred Ka‘ba), and eats what we slaughter is a Muslim under the guarantee of God and His Messenger.”9 In effect, the belief of a Muslim is reflected and generally understood by others in terms of the publicly performed obligatory deeds; therefore, there is benefit in offering these openly, to dispel any possible suspicion and spare witnesses from the easy temptation of judging another believer; in addition, public contributions of zakat provide an inspiration to those outside of the faith who might feel invited to submit after witnessing the all- encompassing mercy espoused by the Qur’an.

The actions of Abu Bakr and Ali, may God be pleased with t hem, who had totally comprehended the balance displayed in the Qur’an, are exemplary. The former, having had

dirhams worth of wealth, donated a quarter of it at night, another quarter at day, another quarter in secret and the last quarter in public; thus he actualized all the facets emphasized in the Qur’an. The latter openly donating his 4 dirhams, and then remarked, “O God, let this be an encouragement”; while during a secret donation, he prayed “Only for your sake my Lord.” While giving at night, he prayed again: “May my night be alight;” and during the day, he uttered, “O God illuminate my day.”10 There it is: a display of the Companions’ astounding sensitivity and their profound vitality in bringing Islam to life.

CAN DEFECTIVE PROPERTY BE GIVEN AS ZAKAT ?

The awesome balance set by Islam in all fields is also visible in the fundamentals of offering and collecting zakat. While instructing the collectors to avoid collecting the “best possession,” the benefactors are themselves encouraged to choose to give their best as an invaluable means of reaching the spiritual summit, a fact attested to by the Qur’an: “You will not attain righteousness until you spend of what you love” (Al Imran 3:92). Anas ibn Malik narrates the following in relation: “Of the Ansar (Medinan Muslims),” Abu Talha was one of the richest, and Bayruha—a garden across the Masjid al-Nabawi (the grandmosque at Medina), was his most beloved possession. The Messenger of God, on occasions, used to enter it and drink from its clean water. When the verse, “You will not attain righteousness until you spend of what you love” (Baqara 3:92) was revealed, Abu Talha went to the Prophet and proclaimed the following: “If this is what the Almighty God has decreed in His Book, then from now on Bayruha, my most prized possession, is a charity for God. I anticipate its rewards and benefits from Him alone. O Messenger of God! Do with it as you wish.” The Prophet responded delightfully, “How beautiful! This will bring a multitude of rewards and a copious recompense in the afterlife. I have heard your words on this subject, but if you ask me, divide it between your relatives,” and upon this Abu Talha divided it between his relatives.”11 Indeed, it is evident that in order to become an ideal servant of God, one must donate, for His sake, one’s most cherished items. Those who aspire to Paradise undoubtedly will present, with paramount pleasure, their best crops and produce.

In a hadith conveyed by Abu Hurayra, the Messenger of God reveals, “Whoever donates an amount equivalent to a handful of dates out of his pure earnings—and certainly God accepts only that is pure—God will take it and, just how one of you rears his foal, he will raise it to the size of a mountain.”12

Through another hadith, again transmitted by Abu Hurayra, the Prophet earnestly announced, “O humankind! God is Pure and He only accepts what is pure. God has also commanded the believers what He has commanded the Prophets, namely “O Messengers! Eat of the pure things and act with righteousness” (Mu’minun 23:51); and for the believers, “O you who believe! Eat of the good and clean things which We have provided for you, and be grateful to God, if it is He whom you worship” (Baqara 2:172).

In tandem, a person must put himself in the shoes of the recipient, and thus avoid giving substandard or defective items. The Qur’an elaborates the following caution in relation to this very fact:“…and seek not the bad (with intent) to spend of it (in charity)” (Baqara 2:267). In other words, one must be absolutely alert in preventing any illicitness, such as this has been forbidden by God, from coalescing with one’s donations—either accidentally or by virtue of neglect on our part.

Consequently, all manner of “filth” must be kept well at bay from honest and pure earnings, and the charity should be presented from the purest portion—the portion which the benefactor himself would gladly accept in the reverse scenario, were he to find himself the recipient instead. In practical terms, this means ensuring that gains are not secured through means which are, themselves, illicit; and to make certain that the offering meets the highest trade standard, in terms of both the quality of the goods and their real value.

During the blissful era of the Prophet, people used to leave bunches of dates at the Masjid al-Nabawi for the poor to eat. One day, after having seen a few defective bunches, the Prophet (upon whom be peace) pointed with his stick and said, “If the owner of this charity wished, he would have donated a finer bunch. Its owner will, in turn, be reciprocated with a similarly defective return in the afterlife.”13

WHEN IS THE MOST VIRTUOUS TIME FOR OFFERING ZAKAT ?

After having reached its nisab, a property on which a year has elapsed becomes subject to zakat. Yet, the generally prevalent practice is to offer it during the month of Ramadan. Although this remains the overall accepted routine, there are others who maintain that zakat should best be given before its deadline or during the season of harvest. All these views, certainly, are predicated upon various proofs, which can be recapitulated as follows.

PAYMENT DURING RAMADAN

The practice of giving zakat in Ramadan is by and large based on two notions—namely to benefit from the special month’s blessings, and to put a smile on the faces of the poor in preparation for Eid. While it remains essential to perform deeds within their specific time frames and in line with their particular requirements, their performance at sacred times and places, it is hoped, brings even greater rewards. For instance, offering salat at theKa‘ba or Masjid al-Nabawi is considered more valuable in comparison to other places. This isactually implied by the words of the Noble Prophet, who declared that there are only three mosques in the world that, on their own, are worth traveling to—Ka‘ba in Mecca, Masjid al-Nabawi in Medina, and Masjid al-Aqsa in Jerusalem.14

As for timing, the blessings of Ramadan are evidently manifest; it is considered the “sultan” of the other eleven months, containing a night superior to a thousand months. Therefore, completing an obligation like zakat within the parameters of Ramadan is believed to be an opportunity to greater rewards, as well as serving its prime role of relieving its benefactor from a compulsory duty in a timely, scheduled manner. Narrated by Anas ibn Malik, the ensu ing hadith alludes to this. The Prophet was asked, “What is the most virtuous fast after the fast of Ramadan?” He responded, “The fast of (the months of) Shaban, in reverence to Ramadan.” He w a s t hen asked: “Which sadaqa is of greater virtue?” And he replied, “Sadaqa given in Ramadan.”15

[aeternallis]

A rant against the “Reylo In Depth” video on Youtube -- Mini Meta on Ben Solo’s Redemption

So I was watching the newest "Reylo In Depth" video on Youtube that the Den of Nerds had released about a week ago. I have to admit, while it was fun and somewhat interesting listening to both Vincent and Josh talk, there's this one idea of theirs near the end of the video that I just...totally and completely and fundamentally disagree with, to the point that I now feel compelled to ramble into the void that is this hellsite.

But before I get into that, let me just say right now that I'm honestly surprised that the video is called "in-depth," as the content of what they talk about in regards to the pairing is pretty much a surface level rehash of the beautiful and incredible metas written on here, and may I just add, but not nearly as eloquent. Lol

But for what it's worth, it was an interesting watch to pass the time while I ate my dinner and washed the dishes afterwards.  

Anyhow, this idea of theirs that I have decided (on a whim, mind you) to wholeheartedly fight against until the release of EP IX is the notion that, and I quote:

"...it would be super unfair if A, Kylo gets to rule the galaxy and then B, gets to be redeemed without dying, like--who is this guy? Y'know what I mean? He gets to do the Anakin without the Anakin."

First off, I do understand why these guys would think it's unfair for Ben to live after all this drama with the First Order and the Resistance is over and done with, I do. Ben has killed many people, whether by his own hands or by his direct orders, there is undoubtedly blood in his hands, least of all Han Solo's.

However, be that as it may, I don't really think Josh and Vincent understand the fact that redemption isn't done overnight, or even two or three years down the line of someone's life. More often than not, fictional characters who go through a personal redemption arc usually spend the rest of their lives atoning for the crimes they've committed.

We don't know at this point if JJ Abrams will redeem Ben's character or if he will be killed off as the main villain of this franchise, but I can say without a doubt that should Ben Solo return by the end of the sequel trilogy, his "happy" ending will not be what most people consider in the truest sense of the word.

For the rest of his life, Ben will have to bear the painful memories of what he's committed, and without a doubt, there will be more than his fair share of individuals who would be more than justified in hurling their grudges against him. Because for all the unseen atrocities he's done so far and during his tenure as Kylo Ren, he does still have a conscience.

We see glimpses of it throughout TFA: choosing unconsciously to spare Finn when the latter hesitated in participating in the mass murder of the village, his gentleness with Rey during the interrogation scene, and his unwillingness to kill her during their fight in the forest.

Hell, even with his act of patricide against Han, we see his conscience coming into play when he thanked his father after plunging the lightsaber through his chest. If anything, the crime of killing his father wasn't done out of hate or bitterness, but rather out of desperation.  

In TLJ, we see the after effects of his mind tearing itself apart from what he'd just done. We see it again when he couldn't pull the trigger against his mother, and once more when he, without hesitation, chose to save Rey from Snoke rather than "fulfill his destiny."

And, forgive me for going off on a bit of a tangent here, but personally, Ben Solo's trajectory towards redemption reminds me a lot of a character from an anime/manga series called Rurouni Kenshin.

Just as a quick summary, RK is a series about a fictional character named Himura Kenshin in his late twenties who murdered hundreds of people during the end of the Bakumatsu Period in pre-Meiji Japan. He bears a cross-shaped scar on his face, which in essence is the metaphor and visible reminder of his bloody past. After the war ended and the country began to westernize, he disappears from historical records, and for ten long years, atones for his past as the "Battousai" (his nickname when he was an assassin during the war).

How does he atone, you ask? He wandered the countryside all over Japan (in the series, he calls himself a "rurouni", meaning a vagabond or wanderer, hence the title of the series) helping and protecting people. He does this by wielding a reversed-blade sword (meaning, the sharp end of his sword is faced away from his opponent), with a vow never to kill again. 

It isn't until he meets a young woman, a kendo instructor by the name of Kamiya Kaoru and other new friends that he begins to value his own life once more (because he had killed so many people before, this subsequently caused him to no longer care about his own life), all the while still continuing to repent for his crimes.

Throughout the series, Kenshin reflects about his past crimes a number of times, as well as the life lessons he's learned during his ten years of wandering and helping people. However, one particular line from the series specifically jumps out at me, and I believe, totally and completely applies to Ben Solo, if/when he is redeemed:

"You can die at any time, but it's living that takes true courage."  

If we're talking about what Ben Solo deserves and what's fair or unfair in his course to return, then on the contrary, he doesn't at all deserve to die at the end. For him to die would be the easy way out, and quite frankly, lazy storytelling, imo. Rather, his repentance would come in the form of atoning for what he's done, in whatever way that may be and living for the people he had killed, for his family who had sacrificed their own lives for him.

In essence, to bear the pain of living.

Of course, just because he has to endure this for the rest of his life it doesn't mean that he has to be alone in doing it. Loving Rey--and having Rey by his side won't ever erase the crimes he's committed, nor is it her job to atone with and/or for him--but what she can be is his pillar of strength, his beloved whom can lend him her support, loyalty, and her love (as she's already shown in TLJ), his rock, his inspiration to become a better person.

How beautiful would it be if in essence, through Reylo's love story, Disney sends out the message that you can make so many mistakes in your life, but don't ever be afraid to take a second chance to atone for those said mistakes, and more than anything else, take strength and inspiration from someone you love in order to accomplish just that?

From a storytelling perspective, Ben Solo’s death would accomplish nothing. His death wouldn’t bring back the people he’s killed, nor will it bring Luke and Han back to life. It wouldn’t move the story forward, and perhaps I’m being too arrogant in saying this, but it would be detrimental to the overall plot. 

So to conclude this mini-rant and go full circle in going against what Josh and Vincent said: no, it's not that Ben Solo will "get to do an Anakin without the Anakin," that's not it at all. 

Rather, Ben Solo will get the chance to do what Anakin Skywalker couldn't: atone for his mistakes.    

[british-order-of-thelema-blog]

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

The 9th day, March 29th, looks at Atu XII - 'The Hanged Man' which corresponds to the path of 'Mem'. Todays reading is Liber LXV Chapter 3.

The Hanged Man occupies the path Mem which connects Geburah and Hod, directly opposite the Wheel of Fortune. The latter, ruled by Jupiter had a sense of positivity and ‘good fortune’ about it, something this card does not share. This card is on the Pillar of Severity on the Tree of Life and so we have this idea of restriction inherent in the cards meaning which is evident in the symbolism

Mem = the ocean, the water connection is the sea of Binah, the third sephiroth representing the field of potential experience available in a human body. This is part of a Trinity with 'The Fool' which represents air and 'The Aeon' representing fire.

Liber LXV Liber Cordis Cincti Serpente sub figûra אדני

A∴A∴ Publication in Class A

III

1. Verily and Amen! I passed through the deep sea, and by the rivers of running water that abound therein, and I came unto the Land of No Desire.

2. Wherein was a white unicorn with a silver collar, whereon was graven the aphorism Linea viridis gyrat universa.

3. Then the word of Adonai came unto me by the mouth of the Magister mine, saying: O heart that art girt about with the coils of the old serpent, lift up thyself unto the mountain of initiation!

4. But I remembered. Yea, Than, yea, Theli, yea, Lilith! these three were about me from of old. For they are one.

5. Beautiful wast thou, O Lilith, thou serpent-woman!

6. Thou wast lithe and delicious to the taste, and thy perfume was of musk mingled with ambergris.

7. Close didst thou cling with thy coils unto the heart, and it was as the joy of all the spring.

8. But I beheld in thee a certain taint, even in that wherein I delighted.

9. I beheld in thee the taint of thy father the ape, of thy grandsire the Blind Worm of Slime.

10. I gazed upon the Crystal of the Future, and I saw the horror of the End of thee.

11. Further, I destroyed the time Past, and the time to Come— had I not the Power of the Sand-glass?

12. But in the very hour I beheld corruption.

13. Then I said: O my beloved, O Lord Adonai, I pray thee to loosen the coils of the serpent!

14. But she was closed fast upon me, so that my Force was stayed in its inception.

15. Also I prayed unto the Elephant God, the Lord of Beginnings, who breaketh down obstruction.

16. These gods came right quickly to mine aid. I beheld them; I joined myself unto them; I was lost in their vastness.

17. Then I beheld myself compassed about with the Infinite Circle of Emerald that encloseth the Universe.

18. O Snake of Emerald, Thou hast no time Past, no time To Come. Verily Thou art not.

19. Thou art delicious beyond all taste and touch, Thou art not-to-be-beheld for glory, Thy voice is beyond the Speech and the Silence and the Speech therein, and Thy perfume is of pure ambergris, that is not weighed against the finest gold of the fine gold.

20. Also Thy coils are of infinite range; the Heart that Thou dost encircle is an Universal Heart.

21. I, and Me, and Mine were sitting with lutes in the market-place of the great city, the city of the violets and the roses.

22. The night fell, and the music of the lutes was stilled.

23. The tempest arose, and the music of the lutes was stilled.

24. The hour passed, and the music of the lutes was stilled.

25. But Thou art Eternity and Space; Thou art Matter and Motion; and Thou art the negation of all these things.

26. For there is no Symbol of Thee.

27. If I say Come up upon the mountains! the celestial waters flow at my word. But thou art the Water beyond the waters.

28. The red three-angled heart hath been set up in Thy shrine; for the priests despised equally the shrine and the god.

29. Yet all the while Thou wast hidden therein, as the Lord of Silence is hidden in the buds of the lotus.

30. Thou art Sebek the crocodile against Asar; thou art Mati, the Slayer in the Deep. Thou art Typhon, the Wrath of the Elements, O Thou who transcendest the Forces in their Concourse and Cohesion, in their Death and their Disruption. Thou art Python, the terrible serpent about the end of all things!

31. I turned me about thrice in every way; and always I came at the last unto Thee.

32. Many things I beheld mediate and immediate; but, beholding them no more, I beheld Thee.

33. Come thou, O beloved One, O Lord God of the Universe, O Vast One, O Minute One! I am Thy beloved.

34. All day I sing of Thy delight; all night I delight in Thy song.

35. There is no other day or night than this.

36. Thou art beyond the day and the night; I am Thyself, O my Maker, my Master, my Mate!

37. I am like the little red dog that sitteth upon the knees of the Unknown.

38. Thou hast brought me into great delight. Thou hast given me of Thy flesh to eat and of Thy blood for an offering of intoxication.

39. Thou hast fastened the fangs of Eternity in my soul, and the Poison of the Infinite hath consumed me utterly.

40. I am become like a luscious devil of Italy; a fair strong woman with worn cheeks, eaten out with hunger for kisses. She hath played the harlot in divers palaces; she hath given her body to the beasts.

41. She hath slain her kinsfolk with strong venom of toads; she hath been scourged with many rods.

42. She hath been broken in pieces upon the Wheel; the hands of the hangman have bound her unto it.

43. The fountains of water have been loosed upon her; she hath struggled with exceeding torment.

44. She hath burst in sunder with the weight of the waters; she hath sunk into the awful Sea.

45. So am I, O Adonai, my lord, and such are the waters of Thine intolerable Essence.

46. So am I, O Adonai, my beloved, and Thou hast burst me utterly in sunder.

47. I am shed out like spilt blood upon the mountains; the Ravens of Dispersion have borne me utterly away.

48. Therefore is the seal unloosed, that guarded the Eighth abyss; therefore is the vast sea as a veil; therefore is there a rending asunder of all things.

49. Yea, also verily Thou art the cool still water of the wizard fount. I have bathed in Thee, and lost me in Thy stillness.

50. That which went in as a brave boy of beautiful limbs cometh forth as a maiden, as a little child for perfection.

51. O Thou light and delight, ravish me away into the milky ocean of the stars!

52. O Thou Son of a light-transcending mother, blessed be Thy name, and the Name of Thy Name, throughout the ages!

53. Behold! I am a butterfly at the Source of Creation; let me die before the hour, falling dead into Thine infinite stream!

54. Also the stream of the stars floweth ever majestical unto the Abode; bear me away upon the Bosom of Nuit!

55. This is the world of the waters of Maim; this is the bitter water that becometh sweet. Thou art beautiful and bitter, O golden one, O my Lord Adonai, O thou Abyss of Sapphire!

56. I follow Thee, and the waters of Death fight strenuously against me. I pass unto the Waters beyond Death and beyond Life.

57. How shall I answer the foolish man? In no way shall he come to the Identity of Thee!

58. But I am the Fool that heedeth not the Play of the Magician. Me doth the Woman of the Mysteries instruct in vain; I have burst the bonds of Love and of Power and of Worship.

59. Therefore is the Eagle made one with the Man, and the gallows of infamy dance with the fruit of the just.

60. I have descended, O my darling, into the black shining waters, and I have plucked Thee forth as a black pearl of infinite preciousness.

61. I have gone down, O my God, into the abyss of the all, and I have found Thee in the midst under the guise of No Thing.

62. But as Thou art the Last, Thou art also the Next, and as the Next do I reveal Thee to the multitude.

63. They that ever desired Thee shall obtain Thee, even at the End of their Desire.

64. Glorious, glorious, glorious art Thou, O my lover supernal, O Self of myself.

65. For I have found Thee alike in the Me and the Thee; there is no difference, O my beautiful, my desirable One! In the One and the Many have I found Thee; yea, I have found Thee.

Blessed workings on the 9th day of Thelemic High Holy Season!

Love is the law, love under Will.

[dailybiblelessons]

The Twenty-ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Revised Common Lectionary Proper 24 Roman Catholic Proper 29

Complementary Hebrew Scripture Lesson from the Latter Prophets: Isaiah 45:1-7

Thus says the Lord to his anointed, to Cyrus,  whose right hand I have grasped to subdue nations before him  and strip kings of their robes, to open doors before him—  and the gates shall not be closed: I will go before you  and level the mountains, I will break in pieces the doors of bronze  and cut through the bars of iron, I will give you the treasures of darkness  and riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the Lord,  the God of Israel, who call you by your name. For the sake of my servant Jacob,  and Israel my chosen,  I call you by your name,  I surname you,  though you do not know me. I am the Lord, and there is no other;  besides me there is no god.  I arm you, though you do not know me, so that they may know,  from the rising of the sun and from the west,  that there is no one besides me;  I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form light and create darkness,  I send good times and bad times;  I the Lord do all these things. (TLCO)

Semi-continuous Hebrew Scripture Torah Lesson: Exodus 33:12-23

Moses said to the Lord, “See, you have said to me, ‘Bring up this people’; but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. Yet you have said, ‘I know you by name, and you have also found favor in my sight.’ Now if I have found favor in your sight, show me your ways, so that I may know you and find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is your people.” He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” And he said to him, “If your presence will not go, do not carry us up from here. For how shall it be known that I have found favor in your sight, I and your people, unless you go with us? In this way, we shall be distinct, I and your people, from every people on the face of the earth.”

The Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing that you have asked; for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.” Moses said, “Show me your glory, I pray.” And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim before you the name, ‘The Lord’; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.¹ But,” he said, “you cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live.” And the Lord continued, “See, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock; and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by; then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back; but my face shall not be seen.”

This verse is quoted in Romans 9:14, part of a passage about God's election of Israel

Complementary Psalm 96

O sing to the Lord a new song;  sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless his name;  tell of his salvation from day to day. Declare his glory among the nations,  his marvelous works among all the peoples.

For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised;  he is to be revered above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols,  but the Lord made the heavens. Honor and majesty are before him;  strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Ascribe to the Lord, O families of the peoples,  ascribe to the Lord glory and strength. Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;  bring an offering, and come into his courts. Worship the Lord in holy splendor;  tremble before him, all the earth.

Say among the nations, “The Lord is king!  The world is firmly established;  it shall never be moved.  He will judge the peoples with equity.”

Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice;  let the sea roar, and all that fills it;  let the field exult, and everything in it. Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord;  for he is coming,  for he is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness,  and the peoples with his truth.

Psalm 99

The Lord is king; let the peoples tremble! He sits enthroned upon the cherubim; let the earth quake! The Lord is great in Zion;  he is exalted over all the peoples. Let them praise your great and awesome name. Holy is he! Mighty King, lover of justice,  you have established equity; you have executed justice  and righteousness in Jacob. Extol the Lord our God;  worship at his footstool. Holy is he!

Moses and Aaron were among his priests,  Samuel also was among those who called on his name. They cried to the Lord, and he answered them. He spoke to them in the pillar of cloud;  they kept his decrees,  and the statutes that he gave them.

O Lord our God, you answered them;  you were a forgiving God to them,  but an avenger of their wrongdoings. Extol the Lord our God,  and worship at his holy mountain;  for the Lord our God is holy.

New Testament Lesson: 1 Thessalonians 1

Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy,

To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:

Grace to you and peace.

We always give thanks to God for all of you and mention you in our prayers, constantly remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. For we know, brothers and sisters beloved by God, that he has chosen you, because our message of the gospel came to you not in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction; just as you know what kind of persons we proved to be among you for your sake. And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for in spite of persecution you received the word with joy inspired by the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia. For the word of the Lord has sounded forth from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but in every place your faith in God has become known, so that we have no need to speak about it. For the people of those regions report about us what kind of welcome we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols, to serve a living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the wrath that is coming.

New Testament Gospel Lesson: Matthew 22:15-22

There are parallel passages at Mark 12:13-17 and Luke 20:20-26.

Then the Pharisees went and plotted to entrap him in what he said. So they sent their disciples to him, along with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that you are sincere, and teach the way of God in accordance with truth, and show deference to no one; for you do not regard people with partiality. Tell us, then, what you think. Is it lawful to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?” But Jesus, aware of their malice, said, “Why are you putting me to the test, you hypocrites? Show me the coin used for the tax.” And they brought him a denarius. Then he said to them, “Whose head is this, and whose title?” They answered, “The emperor's.” Then he said to them, “Give therefore to the emperor the things that are the emperor's, and to God the things that are God's.” When they heard this, they were amazed; and they left him and went away.

Year A Ordinary 29, RCL Proper 24, Catholic Proper 29 Sunday

Selections are from Revised Common Lectionary Daily Readings copyright © 1995 by the Consultation on Common Texts. Unless otherwise indicated, Bible text is from New Revised Standard Version Bible (NRSV) copyright © 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Image Credit: Roman Coin, image by CGN Coins, via Wikimedia Commons . This image is licensed under the Creative Commons 3.0 Attribution Share Alike license.

[moodymindymusereactions]

When they find out their s/o has social anxiety

Social anxiety is a delicate subject.  I suffer with it myself, so I understand what it’s like and how hard it can be.  That being said because this can be a triggering subject I won’t go into deep details.  It’s bad enough to live with it, no need to make anyone relive it.

Jin

I think overall, Seokjin might handle it the best.  He’s the oldest and perhaps one of the calmest of the group.  Honestly, Seokjin oozes calm and serenity, at least in my opinion.  There’s a very safe feeling about his presence.   Like a no judge zone or something.  I mean, he kinda has to be with members who are little off their rocker at times.  Overall, I think once he finds out he’ll sit you down and talk about it.  He’ll wanna know your triggers and what situations make you feel uncomfortable.  For him, it’s a matter of either avoiding those kinds of instances altogether or being a pillar of support if they’re unavoidable. You are most important in his mind and he (just like the mama we all know and love) will want to protect you no matter what.  “It’s okay, Jagiyah, we’ll work through this together.  I promise.”

Suga

He’s quiet by nature, so it really shouldn’t surprise you that he’d be the type to quietly give you strength.  Even if he doesn’t understand initially, the guy is a Pisces.  Pisceans are very special people.  They don’t have to understand the whole incident to feel the hurt, pain, and fright welling up inside of you.  It’s within their nature to automatically be sensitive to strong emotions.  Some might call it a curse, but my mother (a Pisces as well) likes to call it the gift of coming last in the zodiac.  Sometimes words are just too much when you have an episode and all you want is someone to anchor you.  Yoongi is a great person to do this.  He’ll be that pillar you need, silently giving you strength.  He’ll patiently wait until you’ve calmed down and have been resting peacefully for a bit before breaching the subject.  He may not understand it fully, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try.  “You don’t have to explain it to me if you don’t want to, babe.  Just know that I’m here if you need me.”

JHope

Okay, so if any of you have read my other BTS reactions you already know what I’m going to say.  In the event of an episode, be it public or not, for the first time with Hobi all that sunshine is going to vanish real quick.  He’s going to probably turn very serious and concerned.  If you’re out and about, he’ll do his best to guide you away from the masses to a place less crowded and with fewer eyes watching you.  Hobi knows better than most that extra eyes when you’re upset only makes things worse.  He’ll talk you through it, soft, soothing, and gentle.  Hobi would be a great listener, just sitting there quietly while you tell him about what’s happening.  You can bet going forward he’s going to be hyper aware of your moods and expressions, meaning he’ll try to be proactive if he can see an episode coming or a situation that might trigger one.  If you have ever wanted someone to fiercely protect you, then look no further.  “I’m glad you told me, jagi.  Now I can take better care of you.”

Rapmon

I think at first he might be at a loss.  He’s probably never seen you so broken before and that scares him a bit.  He’s super smart, very logical, he’s used to being able to solve almost all of his problems simply by applying that beautiful brain of his.  I think for someone like Namjoon, not being able to immediately make things better for you will hurt him deeply.  Never, absolutely never, does he want you to be hurting or scared.  All he wants is to see you smile and laugh.  Whether he’s the cause or not, those are his happiest moments.  I see Namjoon being someone who questions what’s wrong and pries answers out of people, but never feels like prying.  He’s very sweet and soft-spoken, like a whisper.  He’d come sit next to you or maybe even crouch in front of you, placing a soothing hand on your knee as he softly asks you what’s wrong.  The second he learns it’s social anxiety this brainiac is going to do immense research on the topic, inclusive of triggers, possible origins, and ways to make it better.  When he feels he understand the topic well enough, he’ll likely come back to you and ask you more about it, so that he can apply his newfound knowledge and tweek it to better suit you.  “I want to be able to help, baby, even if it’s just a little.  I hope you know how important you are to me.”

Jimin

You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jimin has social anxiety himself.  I think out of all the guys, Jimin will understand the stresses of life and life’s infinite problems the best.  He understands that people, even if they aren’t meaning to be, are cruel and that the saying ‘sticks and stones might break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a complete sham.  He knows better than most that the opposite is truest.  It’s hard to say how he’ll react necessarily.  I think there’s the possibility of him just sitting across from you and holding your hand until you’re calm again and ready to talk.  There’s also a chance that he’ll wrap himself around you completely and just hold you so tightly you might actually forget where you stop and he begins.  In this way, it’s almost like he’s trying to take all the pain and hurt from you and consume it himself.  This guy is a very compassionate soul, someone who would rather take on the burdens of the world than ever let them weigh you down.  Don’t be afraid to lay your soul out to him.  If there is anyone who will appreciate such a vulnerable act, it’s Jimin.  “I know it’s hard, jagi, but I’m here.  I’ll always be here.  We can get through this together.  You’re never alone, okay?  Never.”

Taehyung

I think like Taehyung would be a mixture of Hobi and Namjoon.  The latter in the sense that his initial response is to freeze altogether.  He’s not used to seeing you so upset or so freaked out.  He very quickly registers that this is a very serious matter and I feel like he’d do his best to act accordingly.  Like Hobi, he’d get you away from prying eyes.  He’d tuck you into his side, thumb probably rubbing soothing circles into your hip.  Once alone, he’d hold you tightly.  He might not know why you’re upset, but he knows when someone needs a hug.  Taehyung is a very sweet young man, as we all know, and I think he would do his best to uplift your spirits in any way he can without being ridiculous.  He doesn’t want you to think he’s disregarding what you’re going through, but this man can’t stand to see you cry or frown.  You’ll want to fully explain the situation to him when you have the time or feel comfortable enough.  I honestly don’t think any of the guys would force you to do anything you didn’t want to, but he’ll worry incessantly until you do.  “Jagi, I’m glad you told me.  If you feel like that again tell me or call me.  I don’t care what I’m doing or how far away I am, okay?  I’m going to be there for you no matter what.”

Jeongguk

To be honest, I think Kookie would be very understanding.  I don’t know if it was because he had social anxiety or because he was incredibly shy, but as we know Kookie used to wait until everyone went to bed before eating or taking a shower because he didn’t want anyone watching him.  I think once he finds out about your anxiety there might be a moment of shock and indecision as he wraps his mind around the situation.  I mean I can see him walking in on an episode and freezing in place, eyes wide and jaw set, but the second it fully registers what’s actually happening, he’ll be by your side in an instant.  We all know how sweet Kookie is.  He’ll wrap you up in a big hug and hold you until you calm down.  He might be young, but I think as with most of our beloved boys, he’s experienced enough to be fairly quick to action.  “Jagi...  Jagiyah, it’s okay.  You’re going to be okay.”

--Admin MM

[hyperesthesias]

Loki x Sigyn

Drabble: Ceremonies

Rating: G

Words: 2.793

Notes: From @serafina-constantine and my curiosity of what their Asgardian wedding would be like. Enjoy! ♥

“I don’t want to do this,” Loki murmured under his breath, grabbing at the breastplate beneath the leather, adjusting its discomfort that poked and prodded at his neck and ribs -- and when that was somewhat manageable, he moved from his breastplate to the cuffs along his arms, wriggling his wrists and wringing the metal of the armour until it felt somewhat tolerable. He had not worn his Asgardian uniform in some decades, having nearly forgotten the feel of its familiar nuisance -- that to stare at his visage reflected in the looking glass before him, it felt...wrong. Odd, in the very least. He was convinced he was staring at the image of a ghost, a haunting he though he’d burnt long ago, to never reappear. But there he was: different now, not as sullen, his skin a little darker from days in long daylight, his eyes a little brighter, but the shell remained the same: impenetrable. 

How did he get here? A question that was meant more ways than one -- not only about the ghost’s visage, but about the circumstance of its reappearance. He had been on a diplomatic mission with his Queen, his beloved bonded, to Asgard, to share the story of Nashtar and to bridge any broken bonds between them. But something had gone terribly awry. 

“There he is!” a booming voice came from behind him and Loki started at its suddenness, turning to see his brother with two steins of ale. “Look at you -- it still fits,” he chuckled and stuffed a mug into Loki’s hand before he clapped his palm against his brother’s shoulder and his face.

“And it’s still uncomfortable,” he growled, rolling his neck away from the tines of the breast plate beneath.

“Ah -- you’ll get used to it,” he landed a hand on his back and took a sip of ale.

Loki’s eyes wandered to the image of himself again as Thor’s words echoed within him. Would he get used to it? Would they be there long enough? Did he want to? His eyes flickered from the armour resting upon him to a glance of his brother nursing his drink, to where he -- for once -- found the notion both appealing and ingenious. He couldn’t do this, he didn’t want to, he thought as he took a drink, and then another. This wasn’t the type of attention he wanted -- he could already feel the stares, the whispered mockings, the scoffs, as he was paraded in front of the palace at his Mother’s behest -- with her best intentions -- and put on display for all to see, and after all he’d done; he wasn’t sure he could bear it, as he took a drink, and then another, larger drink -- then another, and just once more.

But he felt a hand on his stein as he nearly threw it all back at once, finding, as the glass lowered, his brother’s sights meeting his own. 

“What?” he hissed, wiping his lips as he set down the glass. 

“I have never known anything to rattle you so intensely, it’d drive you to drink.”

“Then perhaps you know me not well enough,” he spat back, swallowing as he collapsed into a lounge by the mirror. But he knew that wasn’t true -- Thor knew him better than most. He looked over as he felt the weight of the other sink into the lounge. “Did Mother send you here?”

“She suggested I aide you in readying for the ceremony,” Thor answered, with a knowing chuckle.

“So, she gave you no choice,” Loki interpreted.

Thor shrugged. “She gave me as much choice as she gave you for this wedding,” he looked into his glass.

Loki dragged a hand down his face as he sighed. “I don’t want to do this.”

“I thought you’d love the banquet in your honour,” Thor eyed his brother.

He only returned the glance with a glower, unamused to have his weakness jabbed. “They will have a banquet, but there will be no honour for me.”

“For your wife, then.”

“You know how Odin is, if she is not Asgardian, then she will never be enough,” he rubbed a finger to his brow, before he whispered, only to himself: “I never wanted that for her,” and he finished the rest of his ale.

But Thor heard, he always heard. “You both are already married -- there isn’t much he can do.”

“How reassuring,” Loki hummed, but hardly bothered to look at him, only massaging his temple with a single finger.

A grumbled sigh from the other, he struggled to comfort the one who did not wish comfort: “What I meant was, the ceremony is only for show.”

“A show for Mother,” he finished. “Because she did not get to see her son marry.” But the sardonic venom in his tone quieted when he stopped, and a soft chuckle came from the younger as he put down his hand: “She was livid when I told her -- utterly offended that I had not gotten word to her from across the Realms, even though I had no way of doing so. As though it was some personal slight against her,” he laughed quietly, hearing his brother do the same, with a knowing groan. “The only way I could appease her was by agreeing to this...fanfare,” he sighed.

“She has ways of getting what she wants,” Thor raised a brow, taking a sip.

“And much practise at it,” Loki shook his head, returning to massage his temple.

Thor resisted the intense urge to note aloud how familiar such traits sounded to the other beside him, but instead, took another drink. “She only wants to show others how much she loves you,” he began, and perked when he spoke again: “and how she accepts your wife, and her...culture,” he trailed off, an uneasiness gripping his words as he stopped.

Loki looked to his brother, noting the subtle grimace upon his features. “You know all those rumours we heard as children are false -- her people are not cannibals or whatever other wicked lies were conjured.”

He nodded, doubtful, but merciful still. “Well, the fact that you’re alive must mean something,” he nudged the other.

Loki rolled his eyes as he shook his empty glass. “I will see you at the ceremony later, brother,” he stood, rolling his neck again to pry away from the pauldrons poking his throat. 

As much as the armour was familiar, so were the halls he once used to wander and roam -- the way the daylight lit through the sprawling arches and balconies, the way the winds wound through the pillars, whispering as they travelled, this part, he had missed. The quiet of late afternoon, the way the cool of evening mingled with the memory of day, making him to shudder as he took a breath. He remembered every path, every part, and every way he could not be seen -- for he wished to confine the stares and the mocks to as little as possible. But as he stood, debating between another glass or another taboo, split between two halls -- he chose the latter. Quietly slinking through the long shadows cast by the palace, he found his way to the suite in which his beloved was readying for the ceremony, in just a little while. He knew he was not meant to intrude, that they were to be parted until then, but he could not wait. A whole day had been long enough, and without his compass, he was lost. 

Thus, he waited there, around the corner from her suite until a handmaiden left, and he could slip into the room without notice or shooing from the other maids. 

“My love,” he called to her, quiet so as not to startle her, he looked around the main room, seeing clothes and jewellry, and other trinkets strewn around in a somewhat organised mess, until he came to the second room, where he saw her resting at a vanity, tending to her hair. “Sigyn...”

“Loki!” she spun around in her chair, a brilliant smile illuminating her as she jumped up to greet him.

He hurried to her, rushing into her arms, just as much as she did into his, and he picked her up and spun her gently about as he clung to her, burying his face into her hair, holding her just a little tighter than he normally did. 

“What is it?” she said, when he finally put her down, cupping her hands to his face, rubbing her thumbs against his cheeks. 

He shook his head, saying nothing for a little while, before he managed a smile, tucking a lock behind her ear. “I only wanted to see you.”

She knew it wasn’t the whole truth, but she asked nothing else, only caressing his neck, pulling up a piece of his leather suit to shield him against the piece of armour that seemed to be rather uncomfortable. “And seen me you have,” she pulled away from him for a moment as she held out the skirt of her dress. “What do you think? Traditional Asgardian -- your Mother gave it to me,” she beamed.

He could not take his eyes from her -- filled with her, utterly, completely. A pang in his core that she should fill such a dark creature as he with a light he could not contain. “You are...beautiful,” he winced as he spoke, swallowing hard as he gathered himself. “It suits you,” he gave her a gentle smile. To see her wear the culture in which he was raised, that she loved him so much to assimilate as he had -- from all the banquets he craved, and all the applause he’d ever wanted, he wasn’t sure he had ever been as honoured as he was in that moment.

But Sigyn stopped, releasing her dress to take his fingers tenderly with hers. “But that shadow upon you, does not suit you.”

“I can hide nothing from you,” he chuckled nervously, glancing downward.

“No,” she shook her head and smiled, coming closer to see his face. “What troubles thine heart?”

He breathed carefully, doing nothing for a little while, other than mingling his fingers with hers: “I...wish for better things than the spite of others. And...” he sighed looking to the ceiling now, instead, “...I do not wish any of it for you.”

Though he would not look at her, she could see it in his face: the tumult, the guilt, the regret, the disdain, the anger. He had been neglected, gaining an attention for himself he did not want, but for which he could settle over nothing else. “You fear me to be tied to your fate,” it was not a question.

‘Yes’ -- it barely came out even as a breath, it was hardly heard.

Sigyn said nothing for a little while, clinging to his hand instead of speaking -- she had known this fear of his, recurring as a nightmare that haunted him whilst awake. But it had never haunted her. She was herself, though they were bonded, she had only ever seen herself as herself, and terribly, terribly in love. Some called her foolish, others weak, or blind -- but she knew she was none of these things. She was. And she intended to be. No matter what. 

“I will go with you anywhere,” she started. “As you will go with me. You are not tied to me as a weight --” she insisted, seeking his eyes.

He gave them hesitantly, but listened nonetheless.

“This ceremony -- is where we give ourselves as a gift to each other. And you are my gift Loki, not my burden.”

He had never been told that before. He had heard it in things she’d said, not in as many words, he had seen it in what she did -- but none other had ever told him he was not a burden. He could do nothing other than nod. 

She reached up on the tips of her toes, placing her hands on his cheeks as she kissed him. “Now shoo -- I can hear your Mother down the hall.”

He broke from his shadow at the sight of her smile and once more stole away.

In his weakness, she’d given him strength, and he roamed the halls with bouts of nervousness, still, but he did not face those who whispered, he paid no care to others who might have looked ill upon him. He only kept his eyes forward on the path the pair of them set together, and looked upon nothing else. 

And when the ceremony came, when he was paraded before the palace -- in a smaller crowd than he had anticipated, grateful his Mother knew him well enough -- he strode down the path to await his beloved before the King and Queen, feeling nothing but the coolness of the evening breeze, hearing naught but the whispers of wind, and seeing nothing but the brilliance of the stars that glimmered more brightly at night -- until the most luminous star emerged among the myriad of others: Sigyn.

There, in the distance, she came towards him -- willingly, with no fear harboured in her heart for him. The crown of flowers upon her head hardly worth touching her, that she deserved more than any realm had to offer; the gold that draped from her a disgrace, that there was no precious metal or precious stone that could compare to the divinity that was her; it was all nothing, for she was everything. He stood there, dumbfounded, speechless, rendered utterly immobile at the vision that approached him, that when she was finally beside him, he could do nothing but instinctively reach for her, his eyes still entirely captivated by her -- that he did not acknowledge the King when he began to speak, neither did he hear him. For all there was, was her. 

Their hands joined together, and a rope of flowers bound them as the King recited blessings and prayers upon them both, and if Loki had been listening, he might’ve heard a sincerity in the King that had been lost for some while. 

And when the prayers and recitations were completed, the pair led the way to the banquet hall, where they took the seat of honour at the bridal table. Gifts given and left at their table -- whether out of obligation or desire did not matter to Loki now, he had no other thought than to be near her, than to take in every nuance of her visage until he was entirely consumed. Amulets and ornaments were bestowed upon the bride, wishing her good fortune and happiness, that he began to grown concerned that there were far too many for her to carry -- but he wished them all to be true. 

He did not relinquish her hand the entire banquet, despite the fact they were no longer bound by the rope, he found he could not let her go. She was his conduit, his grounding, his spark, all at once -- and with her hand in his, he felt alive. 

And Sigyn knew this, and never did she try to pull from him, for in his hand, she felt safe -- she did not feel different from other others, she did not feel lost, some feather wandering never to touch the ground, she was able to do anything. 

The feast lasted well into the night, and by the time all had finished their drinks and meals, they led the couple to their suite with happy songs and blessings with torches to light the way in the pitch of night. 

Loki and Sigyn could hear the raucous crowd dwindle down the hall from behind their door, and they could do nothing but laugh -- finding their guests much more thrilled than even they. But they were different, and they knew this. 

Still, they held taught to the other’s hand as they both collapsed on the bed -- both on their backs as they stared at the canopy above, utterly exhausted from entertaining everyone else the entire night, that they curled together, their hands never parting, relishing in each other’s warmth and coolness. 

“Did you say these feasts last for days?” Sigyn suddenly recalled as she began to doze in his arms. 

“Usually more,” he murmured in drowsiness.

Sigyn groaned and planted her head into his chest, clinging her other hand to his cape as she shook her head. 

Loki could only chuckle and he sighed as he pulled her close, wrapping her in the breath of his emerald cloak, keeping his beloved close, and above all, keeping his beloved safe.