#LOSING NY MIND RN

[luvistqrzzz]

ENHYPEN OH MY FUCKING HELL??? THE TRAILER??? IM GONNA SCREAM??? IT WAS??? EVERYTHING???????????

[rickybaby]

[pumpkinsy0]

I was in elementary school when he was first elected President. I’m now elected in college and he’s ONCE again been elected.

It’s weird because when your younger you don’t necessarily think about politics. I didn’t. It felt like a big adult thing that affected me.

But I’m a Hispanic queer women and I realize just how much politics impacts us. And low key? I’m absolutely stressing out now. I didn’t realize just how strong hate and specifically how strong hate against women was.

SORRY THIS IS RLLY HEAVY IK!! 😭it just sucks to be American rn.

im black in america, never apologize for how ur feeling ik exactly what u mean😭😭

and ik i live in ny so im not exactly facing the BIGGEST brunt of it all, but im still very worried for everyone else!!! and look i already didnt have the biggest want to travel, but it sucks that instead of it being like a CHOICE, its like im being pushed into HAVING to stay here for my own safety/sound of mind

and then looking at the race demographics for the polls, i dont wanna hear jack shit about allyship or poc solidarity, ill love yall from the sidelines instead but i rlly dont wanna b referred to as a poc, only black!!! i do not support u hoes some of yall r DUMB!!!! to everyone who voted for that guy i hope u face the biggest issues that stem from his plans and i am not joking!!! i wish u the worst!!!

and then to b haitian and have the ppl who spread false rumors about ur ppl b president/vice president???? yea im losing it over here!!! i am scared for multiple things but i will live through this only to see both of them die

WHO WILL B TAKING THAT THIRD SHOT!!!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Wholesome NY hc’s cuz nobody asked:

-NY actually really enjoys watch sunrises/sunsets and will sit on top of high up building in the city and watch them

-He’s really good at singing, and he kinda sounds like a mix between a gender bent version of Mitski and Cody Fry

-speaking of Mitski, he listens to her and his favorite song is "I Bet On Losing Dogs” (literally listening to it rn and it’s so good omg- especially the intro 😭😭 It hurts so good-)

-(TW: drug mention) One time (okay it was defo more than once-) Colorado snuck weed in York’s coffee and everybody nearly died to cuteness because York was acting very playful and cuddly

-he doodles on literally any piece of paper he has with him, even some of his state work will have little doodles of cats riding skateboards in the corner.

-he really likes oversized clothes. They just make him feel safe.

-York really loves hyper-pop and how it bounces around his mind like a ping-pong ball

-he has a fluffy rug in his room that he’ll just lay on top of whilst listening to music and staring off into space when everything gets too much for him.

If y’all have anymore NY hc’s, feel free to hand em over to me :3

@stawpny I think u might like these :]

[le-very-weird-goat-09]

Wholesome NY hc’s cuz nobody asked:

-NY actually really enjoys watch sunrises/sunsets and will sit on top of high up building in the city and watch them

-He’s really good at singing, and he kinda sounds like a mix between a gender bent version of Mitski and Cody Fry

-speaking of Mitski, he listens to her and his favorite song is "I Bet On Losing Dogs” (literally listening to it rn and it’s so good omg- especially the intro 😭😭 It hurts so good-)

-(TW: drug mention) One time (okay it was defo more than once-) Colorado snuck weed in York’s coffee and everybody nearly died to cuteness because York was acting very playful and cuddly

-he doodles on literally any piece of paper he has with him, even some of his state work will have little doodles of cats riding skateboards in the corner.

-he really likes oversized clothes. They just make him feel safe.

-York really loves hyper-pop and how it bounces around his mind like a ping-pong ball

-he has a fluffy rug in his room that he’ll just lay on top of whilst listening to music and staring off into space when everything gets too much for him.

If y’all have anymore NY hc’s, feel free to hand em over to me :3

[star-sim]

OH MY GOSH you’re going on a date soon?? tell us all about it when u get back (if ur comfortable ofc!) because i like vicariously through other people’s romantic interactions 😔😔

did you know today we were covering the most mind-boggling skull-shifting lesson in calc and i had to go into full delulu mode and pretend that jungwon was at the empty desk next to me so i would not absolutely lose it… times were BAD

can’t wait to see when ur next work drops + don’t forget to take care of yourself too!!! hope everything goes amazing for u muah 😚

HAII ASH SORRY FOR MY LATE RESPONSE

yes i’m going on a date, im SO excited oh ny lord. honestly he’s all i’ve been thinking about and i feel like im going straight up insane

funny story, on valentine’s day i had two other guys ask me out… but they’re not him so like…. sorry boys ☺️

pretending that jungwon was next to you is SO real, ive been hallucinating jay in my day to day life because that’s the only way that you’ll ever catch me being motivated ☠️

i’m cooking so hard rn in my drafts i hear cannons and gunshots in my head

thanks for stopping by ashy washy tashy!!

[sapphiccatra]

[nulltune]

@tenkoseiensei replied: DO YOU -WANT- HIM TO WEAR A SHIRT AROUND YOU!!??

          what she wants is   . . .   whatever makes him happy.    therefore   —-

          ❝⠀ that's your choice to make.    do whatever makes your comfortable   ——   oh,    and answer my question as well.    it's rude to ignore it and just bark out a question of your own,    you know ? ⠀❞     

[euphor1a]

can i just 😔

[hajimeow-archived]

listen i DO NOT want death. ok keep tjat in mind i, in no way, want to die rn. i like living. /srs

HOWEVER does this mean i am not open to being choked to death by komaeda? well, it's complicated,

[uniformbravo]

tanuma “catboy” kaname is such a tongue twister if ur trying to pronounce it right

[gumdecay]

.

[kannibalcrows]

Possibilities

“You’re shit. You’re actually the fucking worst and I’m tired of you”

I know and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m so sorry

“You constantly annoy me and I’m done.”

I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry god I’m trying not to be please don’t leave me

“Your so clingy and childish and I can’t take it”

Please I don’t mean to be please I’ll try better

“You say you’ll be better but we know it’s a lie”

I know I’m sorry I don’t know how to fix myself I don’t know how to stop being annoying or whiny or childish or clingy I’m sorry please don’t leave me I’ll try harder. I’ll do whatever it takes I’ll curl up and be as small as I can I’ll try not to take up too much space I’m sorry please don’t leave

“You’re so disgusting I can’t even stand to look at you”

God I know

“I wish you were dead”

I do too

“I wish I had never met you”

God please don’t mean that please I’m sorry

“I regret ever hearing your name”

.

.

.

.

Im so sorry.

[buttybarnes1917]

the man who cant be moved

You had been off tour for weeks at this point, helping some friends on another tour, and Bucky was getting antsy.  Sure, you weren’t together or anything—Bucky didn’t do girlfriends, or dating, or being exclusive—but there felt like there was something missing when you were gone. Maybe it was the way he missed your perfume as you hurried past him to fix something going wrong at front of house, or the way you laughed when Natasha teased you about watching the show from the rigging above the stage, like she did every show.  Maybe it was the way your fingers felt so soft against his cheeks as you kissed him, somehow knowing instinctually how he liked to be held, or how you breathed softly into his chest the few nights that you accidentally fell asleep in his hotel room.

He never wanted you to leave.

But Bucky Barnes wasn’t interested, of course.  With dating came control, and Bucky hated being controlled.  He was a rockstar, for god’s sake.  He was the definition of uncontrollable.  

Then why did he want to be near you so badly?

It didn’t help that this week was absolute hell on earth.  Bucky had been in a constant battle with the lead singer, John, to change up the whole play style two years into being in a rock band.  Sam, the lead guitar, and Bucky had been vehemently opposed, but John pushed relentlessly, and it was causing a lot of issues with the band.  Bucky had been looking at other offers, and he knew Sam had already been headhunted by another rockband.  

He was already losing his safe space,  his best friend, potentially his career, and on top of it all, he might lose you too.

Not that it meant anything, of course.  You weren’t dating.

Bucky checked his phone again for any text from you, but still nothing.  He wasn’t sure why he was thinking you would text him.  It’s not like you were dating.   He didn’t want to date you.

Right?

He sighed heavily and opened your chat.

When’s your next stop?

Your response came almost immediately.

Buffalo—I finally have an off day.  Why? What’s up? You okay?

Wanna meet up?

Buck, you’re in LA.

I’ll fly to NY. He bit his lip.  You weren’t dating. You weren’t dating. You weren’t dating.  He watched the three bubbles go up and down for a few minutes.

You know you can fuck someone else, we’re not exclusive.  You don’t have to fly across the country if you want to fuck me.

That’s not it, I just .  Bucky’s fingers hovered over the letters to type “I just miss you”, then he backspaced. That’s not it.  I’m bored.  Buffalo’s cool.  

It’s snowing here rn. You hate snow.

Do you not wanna see me or something? Too busy with your other big shot friends?

Fucking hell, you’re so dramatic dude.  Of course I wanna see you, I just don’t want you to waste money flying out here to see me for one day and then hating it the whole time.  

Won’t hate it when you’re there.  Bucky sent that one before he could change his mind.  Maybe we could meet halfway? Get a hotel in Chicago?

There was a pause. Those damn three bubbles went up and down again.

Yeah, sure. Tickets to Chicago for the day are like. 100 with my discount.  You’re paying for the hotel though. The three dots again.  Horny bitch.  See you soon.  

*****

Bucky’s heartbeat picked up, and he grinned softly as he opened his travel app.

He paced the hotel room nervously, checking his phone for texts from you.  Your plane landed over an hour ago and he still hadn’t heard from you.

Maybe you hadn’t come, and this was all some fun prank on him.  He was so stupid, theres no way you would fly so far just to see him, you were probably busy with all the friends you were making on your new tour, and then you would just leave on that tour and leave Steve and Nat and Loki and him, because the other tour wanted you more and no wonder, you were so smart and funny and kind and so good at your job—

There was a knock at the door and Bucky rushed forward to look through the peephole.  

There you were, bundled up in that blue puffy jacket he always teased you that hated, a red beanie pulled over your hair, just your nose and eyes sticking out from behind a thickly knit scarf.  He pulled the door open grinning down at you.

“Why is it so fucking cold,” you complained as you stepped into the hotel room, shaking off your coat and hat as you pulled them off.  “I cant believe you flew to Chicago in the middle of January just to get a quickie—” you squealed as he cut you off, wrapping his arms around you, just breathing you in for a few minutes.  You slowly slipped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he took a deep shaky breath.

“Missed you.” He breathed out, and in that moment, your heart broke for him.  You slipped your fingers through his hair gently.

“Missed you too, Jamie.” You whispered and he almost instantly relaxed into your touch.  You swallowed hard as you shut your eyes, just holding him close.  Too bad we aren’t dating… crossed your mind briefly, but you pushed that thought away.

[alucart]

literally losing my mind rn over the fact that i didnt even know nova twins had a north america tour until like yesterday and they have a show in ny during spring break

[justwenchthings]

good bye 2019

IM GOING BACK HOME!!!!! LOL WOOHOO

Plans for Vegas fell through and I lost money but it’s okay, that’s life!! I basically just used my Christmas money to buy my ticket back home so all is well. i’m super happy going home because I was not about to spend NYE alone LOL. 

Let’s recap what happened in 2019. this may be long.

Education: I finished capstone which was lowkey a pain in the butt but I made it. I graduated college! I got my NRP certification. 

Work: I finished my time at 24 Hour Fitness. It’s crazy because it was the longest time I’ve ever worked at a part time job. I’m so surprised at the friendships I made there and the drama I caused there HAHA. I am still in touch with Christina and Tyler since they were my closest friends at the gym. Even though they can get on my nerves sometimes, they are good friends to me. They listen to my problems and vice versa! My manager Bre still keeps in touch here and there. We text eachother on holidays haha. I completed my temporary job at Stanford which was very interesting. Did not expect much drama from a temp job but oh it happened. Overall, it was a good experience and now I am not afraid of giving injections because it’s literally so easy. I was supposed to start working at the hospital in December but my license did not go through on time so now it’s March. I am still upset at the BRN for this but I try telling myself that I will eventually start and everything will be okay. It just kind of sucks because it delayed my plans to move to NY by a couple months.

Family: I guess I got even closer to my family? Kind of hard to say but yeah I guess I can say that. i am closer to my sister even more. She knows about my septum piercing lmao. My mom knows about my nipple piercing and surprisingly did not beat my ass about it. I still want to tell my sister about my abortion but there just hasn’t been a right time so it will happen when it happens. I guess I’m closer to my grandparents as well. Since moving to Seattle, I have not answered my grandpa’s phone calls because I am super nervous talking to him in Korean. But I realized I shouldn’t be. We video chatted yesterday and I showed them my apartment. It was nice! 

Fitness: For a while I was pretty on top of my fitness. I think working at the gym helped me since I was always surrounded by people who loved fitness and having a free membership helped. I worked out a lot with Christina and I think having someone to keep you in check is good. However, since moving to Seattle I havent worked out as much as I want to. I did work out almost everyday for the first month and then kind of stopped. I think it’s just a slump that I always go through. I know I will pick it up again.

Friendship: I can say that I have gotten even closer to Michelle, if that’s even possible. It’s so crazy how there is someone in this world who understands my humor... like thank you Michelle. I got closer to Julie and I’m really happy we are living together again. She is so reassuring and someone I can count on. I got closer to Michael. I don’t know exactly how but it’s amazing to see we still have a strong friendship! i am thankful to all of you guys. I can 100% count on you and I know you are always there for me. thank you for listening to my problems and annoying rants and cringey stories. Know that I will do the same for you guys!! I met a lot of new friends through Julie, which I am so grateful for. All her friends are so awesome. I still feel weird calling some of them “my friends” instead of “Julie’s friends” but I think I can say that Albert is my friend. Perry is my friend. Miles is my friend. But all thanks to Julie :)

Relationships: Lol is there even anything to say about this? I feel like this is all I talk about. I am glad I got over Henry, but I won’t lie he comes to mind sometimes. Not often, not everyday, but like maybe once a month? I call that progress. Something about him just makes it stand out so much. Like I liked him for like 10 months and he strung me along the whole time. I don’t have any positive feelings towards him but he was a lesson. He wrecked me emotionally lol. I think I am traumatized from the events that happened and how he destroyed me emotionally. Even after my breakup with Raymart, I didn’t really have my guards up- like I almost fell for Aldo. But after Henry... my walls have been bUILT. I am scared of telling anyone that I like them, even though they may like me back. I am scared of getting attached emotionally, I am scared of going crazy/obsessive over one person. I will not allow myself to get that way anymore. I hated myself when I liked Henry because I was definitely depressed. I learned that if you don’t show interest through your actions, I am not doing the same. i will not chase you until the end of time because I WILL BE THE ONE CHASED GDI! I still really like Jason and I think he does too (even with receipts, it’s hard for me to believe). It makes me sad that nothing is happening but it is what it is. i’m glad we are still friends and it’s just the distance I guess. A part of me says that I am willing to do LDR, but another part of me really does not. I just wished I was in NY right now living my life with Michelle. It’s so crazy how one person can make me be okay with giving up that California RN salary lol. It’s a compromise that I am very willing to make if it means that I can be with him in the long run. And if things don’t work out, I can always move back to CA if i want! So i don’t think there’s anything to lose. All I can say is, I super duper like him but the feelings are becoming numb because not much is happening. Back burner.

Self: Overall, I think I grew a lot as a person. I see it in myself as well as others. I went through a lot of things that really helped me shape into who I am currently. I learned how to play the uke. I got really into fitness. I am less cancer-y and more capicorn-y. I hope I can continue to grow in 2020 and become an even better person than who I am right now. Here are some of my 2020 goals that I wrote for myself:

- Do well at the hospital :)

- continue to make more friends

- learn something new

- continue working out consistently

- start meditation

- do yoga

- strengthen family relationships

- be financially smart

The first half of 2019 was ASS and the second half was less ass. I hope 2020 is badass.