#tbf i spent like 2 hrs 2d trying 2 self soothe n it just made it worse n then i spent like 2 hrs self destructing n felt good n now that ive
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#i want 2 txt * n ask 4 reassurance but 1 we havent talked n i mssgd last so i wld rather die than mssg again b4 h* does (evn tho i prbly wil#l eventually :')) n 2 i KNO outsourcing my validation / emotional stability / etc is making it worse 4 myself in the longrun but like.......#tbf i spent like 2 hrs 2d trying 2 self soothe n it just made it worse n then i spent like 2 hrs self destructing n felt good n now that ive#stopped that i feel bad again so........... what IS the truth............ also im ngl i feel bad abt how i look so i want 2 b told i look#good by som1 who has nvr in h*s LIFE worried abt the way h* looks lmao does that make sense.......... like if som1 conventionally attractive#thinks i look good then i must look @ least not Disgusting by most standards.......... which is a shitty way 2 think but like...............#its that or i start bloodletting the brainrot out lmfao :') im :') breanna why the FUCK do u choose the WORST days 2 stay home from work n y#the FUCK do u not follo ny fucking schedule so i can @ least plan AHEAD 4 ur days off eyem................... lichrally losing my fucking#mind rn im so overstimulated n ovrwhelmed i am ready 2 DIE lmfao :'))))))))) want 2 digaround in my ** bag 2 feel bttr but the pills rattlin#g wld b loud enuf 4 her 2 hear n i want 2 go get vodka from the freezer but i stg if she came out of her room b4 i got back in mine i wld#kms right there in the kitchen lmfao i cant STAND living w som1 else i am just.......... ready 2 die ig lol :')
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