#LOOK AT BABY JEFFY

[tylerpitlicktruther]

SKINNER BUYOUT OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED

IF THE OHL HAD HIM LIKE THIS THE NHL CAN DO IT TOO BRING MY POOKS HOME TO ME YOU COWARDS❤️🤍💙✨

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

[semiweirdshipper]

My favorite slashers.

I know it probably doesn't mean anything to anyone, but I've always wanted to make a list of my top favorite slashers and why I love them. I feel like some of the ones I listed won't surprise you, lol. In fact, none of them will. I'm very predictable. Now if I made a list of killers I actually dislike writing- that might actually surprise you.

1). Jason Voorhees

Baby boy!

I love Jason because of his character development. I've literally only written him in like three stories, but the amount of growth that he undergoes is incredibly fun to write. I'm also a sucker for physical flaws, so I think his appearance is really beautiful and cute. His backstory is heartbreaking- I probably sympathize with him the most out of any of the killers. Even without altering his personality, he just seems so much like the kind of person to want to grow and make changes (If he had the right person in his life), and I just really think he's a sweet character.

2). Freddy Krueger

Hey look! It's Jason's husband!

A Nightmare on Elm Street was the very first slasher movie I watched and it's pretty much the only slasher movie that I like. I love Freddy because his past abuse as a child is something I greatly relate to (abusive dads suck ass, bro). Of course I pretend like Freddy is not a pedophile or a rapist because that's just not fun. But altering his personality and writing him in my stories is something I've found to be an extreme joy. He's my favorite killer to write in the slasher dad drabbles. And he makes me happy.

3). Pinhead/Elliot Spencer

Pinny! My sweetest sweetheart of all sweethearts!

For Elliot, I kind of have little explanation. I think I fell in love with him because he has an obedient, submissive side to him, plus self control. The way he made the agreement with Kirsty in the movie without lying was attractive to me for some reason. His power is very interesting and unique and I've really, really enjoyed being able to mingle with it. Broadening his personality has been fun and I love using him to make other killers jealous and/or submissive. And he's adorable and sweet! Seeing Pinhead just naturally makes me feel giddy inside.

4). Herman Carter

Oh! There he is. Prince charming. The one we all expected to see sooner.

My version of Herman Carter is a character that I've grown to both love and be proud of. My altering of his personality is what brought my dbd stories to life. Every time I write him for the first time in my stories, I feel like I'm playing choir music in the background as if I'm introducing an epic character. And I love it. I enjoy it. Writing Herman is fun. His personality is so kind, charming, considerate and modest and just everything good. And that makes him one of the funnest characters for me to write. Plus I'll never forget how he was one of the first killers who I turned into an emotional supporter. When I wrote the first chapter of When a Survivor Bullies, it was such a wonderful moment because that's when something beautiful was born. Emotional support slashers.

5). Jeffrey Hawk/Kenneth Chase

The one everyones tired of me constantly hyping about!

Like Herman, I'm proud of how my version of Jeffrey turned out, and it makes me SO HAPPY when viewers admit to liking him. When I first got into dbd there was literally no positive fics with him. It seemed like everybody hated him, but not me! I'm the fuckin' king at making the biggest bitches likable! Jeffy wudn't even a challenge. Lol, but no seriously, Jeffrey is fun to write. I gave him a personality that's funny, teasing, irritating and caring while still staying true to his finger kinks. Also, I love his appearance. Hey, obese people are awesome and smexy!

6). Evan MacMillan

Sir papatron! The fictional dad of all dads!

As you can probably guess, I love Evan because I pretty much constantly write him as a overly stressed out dad. He's been both a good guy and an ass-hat in many of my stories. His personality is flexible and I find it rather simple and enjoyable to write. We have a lot in common when it comes to our fathers and broken jaws (again, abusive dads suck!) I just love writing him as the overwhelmed pops who just wants to do good but needs sleep and has way too much responsibility. Writing him in My Saddest Journey? Sooooooooo therapeutic <3 I love my papa.

[lowkeyerror]

Nobody Knows

Word Count: 536

Notes: Short but sweet @animealways

Masterlist

Being with Natasha was one of Y/n's proudest feats in life. The way she loved the red head was unrivaled. In the past, Y/n would resent being associated with anything remotely domestic.

However now all she wanted was a family with Natasha. They had discussed options and plans to make it happen, and those plans were finally coming to be.

Y/n was about 3 months pregnant with their baby. It was almost surprising how easy it was to hide from most of their friends. They weren't necessarily trying to hide it, but they weren't parading it around either.

" The only thing, I ask, is that we don't name the baby after any of our friends. I don't care how many they saved the world, they will not have this," Y/n told her girlfriend.

Natasha grinned," I don't know, James is just a pretty common name, baby."

Y/n shook her head," Natasha."

" I'm kidding, our little avenger will have a name of their own."

It was only the two of them in the compound for once. Which meant Y/n didn't have to work as hard to hide her belly. Or so she thought.

" Jeff!"

Natasha's sudden outburst causes Y/n to quickly swivel around. She wore a slightly panicked smile on her face," Oh, hey there, buddy. What's up with you?"

The shark tilted his head to the side. His eyes were stuck on Y/n's belly. The couple let out a collective sigh.

" Well, he's not going to tell anyone, detka. No harm in sharing with him," Natasha relents.

" Fine, come here, Jeffy."

The landshark waddles over to the pregnant woman. Y/n gently grabs one of his fins and places it on her belly. It was strange for both of them.

Jeff waited patiently, not quite understanding what he was waiting for. That was until he felt a little bump against his fin. A perplexed look took over his features. It made Natasha giggle.

It wasn't until the second bump that land shark realized what was going on. His eyes widened as he looked between the two women and then back at Y/n belly.

He gently nuzzled his nose against the pregnant woman's stomach. Y/n was tearing up at the sight. She had planned on blaming the hormones until she looked over and saw the same shine in Natasha's eyes.

" You can't tell anyone yet Jeffy, it's a secret, ok?"

The shark detached from Y/n and nodded his head several times, causing the women to chuckle. Jeff looked back at the couple once more before waddling off on his way.

" What if we named our kid after Jeff," Y/n mutters after the shark is no longer visible.

" But you said-"

Y/n sniffles," I know what I said, but that was honestly so adorable."

" What if we have a girl?"

" Jeffica?"

" Absolutely not," Natasha puts her foot down.

The two make eye contact before bursting out into a fit of laughter. Natasha finds her arms wrapping around Y/n. She places a soft kiss on the other girl's lips.

" I love you and our baby so much."

Y/n smiles," We love you too, Nat."

[indianchindian]

Our Jeffy turned 29! Fucking 29 and he still looks like a baby! I 100% know you won't see this but I'm still making this post out of dedication before I sleep; HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY JEFF SATUR! You're an amazing musician and a genuinely fun person to be around (at least as I see it). You might have given the impression of a cold prince when you played Kim, but you seem to be the opposite, especially when you enacted Tankhun 😭😭😭 And THE KIND OF VOCAL RANGE YOU HAVE!! OMFG!

Happie Bday Jeffy once again. I'll continue listening to your songs on repeat. You first made me admire you when I first heard Why Don't You Stay and furthered it with Strangers. And Hide has the coolest outro! believe me!

Before I go, I'll post a series of pic collages dedicated to Jeff. So here you go!

Smiley and cutie Jeffy

Aesthetic Model/Femme Jeff

Musician/Guitar Jeff

Jeff with Cattos (and a doggo)

Jeff with his bros (his pic with Bright hits HARD)

And finally, STRAWBERRY JEFFY! 🍓🍓

[abbatoirablaze]

Behind Closed Doors, Chapter 12

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings:  mentions of breastfeeding (Not sexual)

“Hey baby, what are you looking at?” you asked as you bounced baby Jefferson on your hip.  But your fiancé turned quickly, shielding his laptop with his body.  Your brow raised and he slid out from behind the table, rushing the two of you.  You swooned as he cupped your face and kissed you deeply.

“Just a few things,” he smiled as he pulled away and turned his attention to your newborn, “and what are you doing up, little man?  Didn’t want to go down for nap time with your siblings?  Are you giving mommy a hard time?”

“He’s been fussy all morning…I think he might be getting a temperature too…” you frowned, “the perils of having kids in daycare two days a week to socialize…they bring home every germ imaginable.”

Sebastian frowned and put his hand on your son’s cheek. 

He hummed, “he does seem a little warm…do you want me to run to the store for some baby-“

“I’m monitoring it…but I might take you up on that later after the kid’s naps.  I think Shayla and Johnny picked up more than just the sniffles from daycare and they’re passing it around to Jack and now Jeffy.  Before they went down for naps, Jack was saying that his tummy was upset.  I think we might have the full-blown flu on our hands, Mr. Stan.”

“I can run down to the corner store before they get up, honey…it’s no problem,” he offered, concern lacing his features, “pick up some chicken noodle soup and Pedialyte too?  It’d probably be better that I go now.”

“Are you sure?”  you asked, “I don’t want to bug you if-“  

He chuckled, “It’s no problem at all, baby.  It’s just around the block…and anyways…it’s better we do it while they’re out so that we can both be here when they wake up.  Tag team this virus and send it away from our babies.”

“You’re such a good daddy!” you swooned, leaning onto your tiptoes to kiss him once more, “you sure you don’t mind?”

“It’s all part of the job!” he smirked, “making love to my beautiful fiancé.  Battling the flu with her.  Making sure our babies are happy and healthy.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“God when you talk like that it makes me want another one…”

He smirked a little more as he reached for his wallet and phone on the table, “don’t tease  me, honey.  You know I’ll take you up on making another little Stan in a heartbeat.”

You laughed once more as he pressed a kiss to Jefferson’s forehead and started for the door.

“See you in a few.”

“Love you!”

“Love you too!” he echoed, before making his way out of the apartment.  You stayed where you were, looking at the door for a moment, before Jefferson’s gurgles brought you from your thoughts.

“I know,” you cooed softly at him, “we’re so lucky to have him, aren’t we?  Daddy’s such a good man, isn’t he?”

Your four-month-old gurgled even more, and then he laid on your chest.  You sighed to yourself, saddened by how exhausted your youngest one was.

“It’s okay baby boy…you just rest…”

He started whimpering a little and his little lips puckered. 

“Okay…I get it!” you cooed, “I wouldn’t want to take a nap without being fed first either.”  

You made your way over to the table and sat down on one of the chairs.  You were quick to lower your top so that your son could nurse. 

His whimpers faded away as he latched on, and you softly smoothed down his hair and began humming to him. 

But your attention wasn’t solely focused on your baby boy. 

Sebastian’s laptop was still open, but on it you saw listings for homes in upstate New York. 

Your brow furrowed. 

You minimized the screen, and you noticed a series of messages from a realtor, all of them including links to different homes, which Sebastian would veto and send back additional features that he thought the house must have. 

Large plot of land.

Room for expansion.

Minimum four bedrooms to start.

Two car garage at least.

Large Kitchen.

Spacious.

A den that could be utilized as an office.

Large dining room. 

“Honey?”

You hadn’t even realized that Sebastian was back.  Your lips parted but you said nothing.  Your eyes went back and forth from the screen to your significant other.

“I-I was planning on telling you…” he admitted softly as he put the two bags down on the table, “I wanted to wait until I had a few solid options.”

“A house?”

“Honey, we’re kind of starting to get cramped in the apartment,” he chuckled, his eyes moving to the direction of the second bedroom where three of your four children were sleeping, “even with Shayla and Johnny sharing a room and Jack and Jefferson sharing the old office it can’t stay that way for long. Shayla’s going to grow up one day and need a room for herself.  And if we really do want more children-“

“I do…”

He smiled softly, “me too…but if we want that…then we have to prepare for it.”

“You’d be okay with moving upstate?” you asked, “You love the city.  You grew up here.”

“If it means that we can continue to build our family and build on our future, I’m more than okay with it, (Y/N.) but I also want something else…”

“Wh-what?”

“I want you to do something that you’ve been putting off.”

You looked down to Jefferson, who had fallen asleep, still latched onto you, “S-Sebastian…they’re too young…I can’t get my GED or go to college and get my degree…I-“

“You said that you always wanted to do it…and you’re still young, (Y/N.)  I could take some time off so that you could study for your GED and take your test…and then you could do online classes…I could hire a nanny to help you out.  I-“

“I don’t want someone else raising our kids, Sebastian.”

“Then I’ll do more!” he promised.  “They’re old enough that they can come with us and-“

“Johnny and Shayla start kindergarten next school year, Sebastian,” you reminded him, “tha-that’s in eight months.”

“Then we have eight months to get you started.  We have time for you to get your GED at the very least,” he offered, “you can focus on that, and I can keep working with a realtor…and we can get settled in a house before the twins start school…”

“But leaving the city?”

“I know…it took me a second to get used to it too,” he admitted, “but it’s what is best for the kids.  We’ve always talked about how we didn’t really think city life would be the best for them.  But we never did anything about it.  But now’s the time, (Y/N), If we do it now, before they have those ties and friends and everything-“

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed, instantly falling on board with his plan, “you’re right…I mean…it is the perfect time…and you’re home…not doing any projects right now.  I-I could get my GED at the very least…and you could get some real prospects for a forever home for us…one where we could raise the kids…but…if we do that…we have to do something else too…”

“Name it,” he agreed, “whatever it is, we’ll do it, baby.”

“If we do that…we have to take a break trying for more children,” you admitted, “I-I won’t be able to focus on the kids and study for my GED if I’m knocked up and preparing to bring another one into the world…and we’ll have to put the wedding on hold…we can’t do too much, Sebastian.”

“You know…if we put the wedding on hold…we could wait until we’re in the new house…and after you get your GED…” he shrugged, “we could get a yard big enough to rent one of those big tents and have the reception there…”

“Add a gazebo to your list, Stan…” you teased, “I always thought the idea of getting married in a gorgeous gazebo covered in flowers to be especially dreamy.”

He broke out into another soft smile.  Making his way around the table he leaned down and pressed another soft kiss to your lips, “I love you so much, (Y/N).”

“Will you still love me after you’ve bought us a house and we get old?”

“I’ll love you until my last breath, (Y/N.)”

“How did I ever get so lucky to find a man like you in this world, Sebastian Stan?”

“I was the lucky one,” he promised softly, before looking down at his sleeping son, “I’ve got the most amazing woman in the world…and she’s already given me four even more amazing children…nothing else matters but you and our little family.”

Chapter 13

[delta-piscium]

#24 for the dialogue prompt lol ❤️

24.  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” “Probably not.”

“Why are there never any hot guys here anymore?” Eddie complained, voice whinier than he’d like to admit. 

Jeff raised an eyebrow at him, “you calling me ugly, Munson?”

Eddie rolled his eyes before giving Jeff his sweetest smile. “Never any hot guys who’d also like to have sex with me, or are you suddenly interested Jeffy-boy?” 

Jeff made a disgusted face that would have been insulting if Eddie didn’t feel exactly the same. The only other gay guy he knew and they were tragically not attracted to each other. What a cruel world they lived in. 

Eddie was about to complain about that instead but before he could Jeff did a double take at the bar, eyes widening. 

“Is that Steve Harrington?” 

Eddie whipped his head around so quickly it was a wonder he didn’t hurt himself. It would have been worth it if he did though because there sitting at the bar was indeed Steve.

Steve with his broad shoulders, and ridiculous hair that Eddie had been obsessed with since his first senior year. 

“Oh shit,” he rasped, his throat suddenly dry. 

He blinked several times to see if maybe he was imagining it and Steve would go away. He didn’t, he stayed right where he was. And then he was turning around and their eyes locked. Steve looked shocked for a second but quickly gathered himself, tilting his head slightly at Eddie giving a slow once-over. Just that made Eddie feel like he was gonna explode and then the bastard had the audacity to wink at him before turning back around. 

Eddie gaped. 

“Did he just wink at you?” Jeff asked slowly, “did Steve fucking Harrington just wink at you in this gay bar?”

Eddie wordlessly nodded, Steve had just done that. If Eddie had had any questions about what Steve was doing here he didn’t anymore.

Steve Harrington had just- he had- oh this was good. Eddie's lips stretched into a slow smirk as his shock slowly faded away, a new thought taking its place. 

“I don’t like that look,” Jeff eyed him suspiciously. 

Eddie ignored it, instead asking, “are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

He sighed, “probably not.” 

“I should seduce Steve.” Eddie continued before Jeff had even finished. 

“Not even close to what I was thinking.” 

Eddie pressed his half-drunk beer into Jeff’s empty hands. “Well start thinking it baby, 'cause it’s happening.” 

He spun around as Jeff muttered ‘here we fucking go’ which Eddie chose to interpret as him being supportive. Like ‘fuck yeah, here we fucking go!’ he gave Jeff a one-fingered wave over his shoulder as thanks. 

'Here we fucking go indeed', he thought as he slid up next to Steve.

dialogue prompt

[ewyaschild]

🤍 THE SISTER SCANDAL 🤍

a/n: i have nothing to say. read it or don't. miss out. and bitch do you think this is beta read? LMAOAOAOAOA

warnings: suggestive 😘 naughty jeffry 😩 and out of character everyone

a shadow appeared overhead as a private jet flew over the reef. the arrival horn bellowed throughout the town and many gathered to see this human-like technology.

as the jet landed, the chief of the metkayina, tonowari, approached the jet with caution.

"a demon ship!" "they've came for us!" scared civilians shouted. "my people. don't be afraid; this ship does not pose any threat. fall back." tonowari calmly stated.

"WHAT'S UP YALL!" a zesty voice shouted from the demon ship. "guys we just landed in pandora and the reef people have me GAGGED. look at their muscles! WIG!!!!" a short (compared to their 10 foot asses) blonde tatted man strutted on an invisible runway with a man in black holding a camera, filming him. "what business do you have placing that chunk of metal on my land!" the tsahik, ronal hissed.

"OOP! don't be upset mama, i'm just here to document my vacation on ur beautiful island purrr." the twink looked her up and down, with a cheeky smile. "and YOU big daddy 😘 must be the chief! will you let me stay? i've flown all the way here and i am completely jet lagged." blondie bitch rubbed tonowari's muscular arms and blinked up at the chief with puppy dog eyes.

2 Months Later

getting from pandora to earth was pretty rocky so jeffery decided to stay and try to live amongst the reef people. he had to retire his lace frontal since the salt water kept washing it away, but tonowari still thought he was beautiful, even bald. he'd never admit that to ronal though.

jeffery and tonowari get along well, the whole clan learned to love jeffery although he was a demon. he became admirable, sitting in the middle of a circle of children telling them all they need to know about birkins and mikaylas false eyelash scandal.

one night tonowari sneaks out his hammock and down the shoreline, where he finds jeffery. at their usual spot. "hey baby boy." the na'vi smirks. "hi big daddy". jeffery responds while tonowari lays down next to him. "we need to talk." "oh no. we do? i'm shook. we've been healthy!" tonowari sighs at his response. "baby it's not that. i don't know if i can keep sneaking out of my hammock to come meet you. my kids are getting suspicious."

"fuck them kids baby breed me instead 😩" jeffery moans. "jeffy im serious. it's hurting me" jeffery lays his head on tonowaris man tits and strokes his abs lovingly. "i know. break the news to your wife, tell her you want to be with me. or don't, i'm open to threesomes." "i'll suggest it. thank you my little scooby do DOOP."

they fall asleep at the shoreline, snoring a beautiful song.

a/n 2: i couldn't fucking do that to myself anymore i had to end it there. for context, i had a dream tonowari and jeffery star bands together and kidnapped me. that sparked this monstrosity! if u read this all the way thru ur amazing.

[fashionablyenigmatic]

Pushing/Protecting: Percy

Cadmus, Alphonse, and Percy were sitting in the living room of Cadmus’ penthouse at Dolore Tower. Earlier that day, Percy had experienced a fright involving what he insisted wasn’t a ghost.

"It wasn’t a ghost. There must be a gas leak or something that made me hallucinate," Percy reasoned, though his hands still trembled as he held his teacup. Alphonse looked at his son with a silent but exasperated expression, as if to say, 'Are you still attaching random ghosts to furniture? I thought you grew out of that.'

Ignoring Alphonse's unspoken question, Cadmus held Percy's hands to steady them. "Do you remember which floor it was on? I'll have maintenance check for any gas leaks."

Percy hesitated, then admitted guiltily, "I think it was on the 13th floor."

Cadmus squinted. "Why were you in accounting?"

Percy grinned sheepishly. "I was in the lobby earlier, and I followed Carol because she had a box of doughnuts, and I wanted one. They were from Jeffy's Bakery, I think."

"Oh, that makes sense. Well, sip your tea. I'm sure the ghost had no beef with you. Otherwise, we would’ve sensed it," Alphonse said casually.

Percy rolled his eyes. He wasn’t a believer. He knew Alphonse and Cadmus were practicing pagan witches, but he didn’t believe in magic. "It wasn’t a ghost. It could be any number of mundane things."

Luckily for Percy, Cadmus wasn’t too pushy about their belief in magic. Sure, Cadmus would light incense, but Percy liked the smell. Alphonse was similar, though he viewed Percy’s skepticism as something to politely debate.

Alphonse smiled. "Well, before we dismiss it entirely, what did this ghost—or hallucination—look like?"

Percy tried to remember, but nothing specific came to mind. For some reason, his brain kept flashing to that scene in Ghostbusters with the librarian ghost. "Uh... I don't really remember. I just know I got scared. It might’ve just been a panic attack."

Cadmus was quick to help Percy dismiss the situation. "Well, better that than ghosts. I find the topic creepy—same with aliens."

Percy chuckled. "Oh, definitely. Aliens aren't real."

Alphonse seized the moment. "Now hold on. I understand your skepticism about our beliefs, that's fine. But dismissing aliens altogether is a bit silly."

Cadmus shot his father a defensive look. "Don't correct my boyfriend," he said aloud before sending a telepathic message, If he's wrong, let him be wrong. I'm working on it.

Alphonse replied mentally, Well, if he's going to be wrong, let him be wrong... in the right way. he added, somewhat lamely.

Percy’s eyes darted between the two, who seemed to be staring at each other in silence, making him feel awkward. To break the tension, he said, "Okay, fine. But they haven’t come to Earth and abducted anyone."

Alphonse nodded. "That's fair." Still wrong, though, he thought at Cadmus.

Percy, oblivious to the mental exchange, shifted the conversation. "It’s simple, really," he explained, recalling something he heard on a podcast. "In the Western world, as babies, we often experience being woken up at night, picked up from our beds or cribs, and handled unexpectedly. Sometimes, those memories manifest as dreams, especially when exacerbated by sleep paralysis. It’s a perfectly reasonable and rational explanation."

Cadmus smiled. "That’s interesting. Do you think this is also connected to the sensation of falling while sleeping?"

Glad the conversation was back on track, Percy replied, "No, no. That’s something more primal—an evolutionary thing from when we slept in trees. Have you ever noticed that feeling when you’re not holding onto something, like a pillow or me?"

As Alphonse sipped his tea, he thought to Cadmus, You know, you and your siblings did have a habit of floating when you were little... Although in Karnus’s case, he just fell from the rafters, and Benni would just randomly teleport.

Cadmus replied a bit too enthusiastically, "Yes, I have!" Then, telepathically to Alphonse, Shut up, Dad. I’m easing him into this.

Alphonse shot his son a look. Well, what’s taking so long?

Percy nodded, continuing, "Apparently, if you’re holding onto something, it helps prevent that sensation."

Because I can’t read his mind, Cadmus mentally snapped back at Alphonse, and if I suddenly expose him to our world, he might not like me anymore. He’s the first good relationship I’ve had in a long time, you fucking asshole.

Cadmus pulled Percy into a hug. "Well, in that case, I’ll just have to hold onto you even tighter when we sleep together." He kissed Percy’s cheek, then shot a pointed look at Alphonse. So lay off, Dad.

Percy remained blissfully unaware of the sharp mental exchange between his boyfriend and his boss, enjoying the warmth of Cadmus's hug with a smile.

@passimtemere

[arewedoneyet]

hello! sending you this jeff interview i stumbled upon while looking to rewatch one of his concert fancams because it was posted 6 days ago and i legit did not even know this interview/video existed ??? it doesnt have alot of views either so i guessed not many knew about this like me, and since i know you post like all jeffy updates here i thought i'd share the link just in case, so that the creator as well as our baby could get some support. <3

tumblr wont allow links so im writing it like this, just paste the url as a youtube link. (youtube . com/watch?v=xE4zDKCnLa8) it's titled ["INTERVIEW WITH JEFF SATUR!! IM CRYING!!" by @ Darshen K] just in case link doesnt work.

thank you nonnie,

that’s really sweet! i just posted the video so people can check it out.

💛

[sweetdreamsjeff]

What would you do with Jeff for 120 minutes?

Date sent: Sat, 22 Feb 1997 17:16:49 -0500 (EST) Subject: JBEL: 120 minutes with Jeff To: jeff-buckley-eternal-life@mail.usyd.edu.au

Given the oppurtunity to spend 120 minutews with Jeff, I would take him to a bar called 2A (on Avenue A and 2nd street in NYC) we would sit there for a while and just chill, maybe have a few drinks, smoke some cigarettes. Then we would go back to his apartment and just talk; we could listen to some of his favorite music, and I would ask him all the pertinent questions like: What is the meaning of Life? Why are we here? What is the nature of love? Basically, I'd just have a philosophical night with him.... ah.... cheers,

Fatin

Date sent: Sat, 22 Feb 1997 19:57:57 -0500 (EST) Subject: Re: JBEL: still dying for 120 minutes To: jeff-buckley-eternal-life@mail.usyd.edu.au

Oh, the horrible possibilities...I jest. 120 minutes with Jeff, probably sit down with my flute, him with his guitar, and just play around...see if we came up with anything. And, of course, after a good hour of that, we could head out to Kan Zamin (okay, we'd have to be in Chicago for that), have some Middle Eastern food and drink Arabian tea (Arabian tea, gee, that sounds really good right now). Or maybe I'd just go to an art museum with him and look at some Modern Art. But, I like doing that with most people who are pensive or intelligent (which I can't guarantee he is either, because I haven't met him). But, then, if we are in NYC at Moma or the Guggenheim we would head up the Upper West side and get some soul food at the Shark Bar...Okay, I am stopping right now -Ali

Date sent: Sat, 22 Feb 1997 17:35:28 -0800 Subject: JBEL: 120 minutes with the man... To: Jeff Buckley Postings <jeff-buckley-eternal-life@mail.usyd.edu.au

Very simple...

City Lights bookstore in SF, sipping beers, discussing Kerouac and Ginsberg.

-Tom

Date sent: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 12:28:12 -0500 (EST) Subject: JBEL: 120 Minutes With Jeff? To: jeff-buckley-eternal-life@mail.usyd.edu.au

Hi, All! Gosh, given 120 minutes with Jeff I think I'd want to spend it drinking coffee and talking while coloring or drawing or somthing. I, of course, would ask several questions like, "What do you think is /was the biggest mistake or missed opportunity in your life?", "What do you think of Jesus Christ, the man and the "savior of all mankind"?.....and such.....I enjoy very candid, honest discussions with peopple....I wouldn't just blab the questions one after the other, and I, of course, would honestly answer the questions, too, if he wanted....or any questions he might have..I'd ask a lot about his dreams. I'd also ask things like if he ever had Flintstones vitamins when he was a kid, and if so, if he liked the Dinos best like I did. :-) I would top it all off with one of my homemade pasta dinners.....Mmmm...Yummy.....Maybe the coffee/art/discussion thing could instead of coffee be those new yummy Starbucks chilled coffee drinks, and we could do this at the park where we could look at the mountains. Alright, That's it.

Jeff IS one of the most attractive people ever if you ask me....and just as much of that image is created by his lyrics/music as it is his looks......and I would love to just nuzzle against hm, become drunk with the scent of him, start.......oh, never mind. Anyway, given only 120 minutes with someone that I perceive as so brilliant, I would have to bypass the sex.

Katie

Date sent: Thu, 13 Mar 1997 15:57:40 +1000 (GMT+1000) Subject: JBEL: 120 minutes with Jeffy Baby To: jeff-buckley-eternal-life@mail.usyd.edu.au

If I had 120 minutes with Jeff, I'd sit down with two guitars, a dozen plectums, a couple of slides and a book of tab ruled paper, and get him to teach me What Will You Say, WUIASP, All flowers in time etc....

Then I'd hop on the email and taunt The Keeper of the Pouched Ones and Mr Harris.

Then I'd steal Michael's box, crawl inside, and pull the flaps shut.

Date sent: Fri, 14 Mar 1997 03:36:45 -0500 (EST) Subject: Re: JBEL: 120 minutes with Jeffy Baby Copies to: jeff-buckley-eternal-life@mail.usyd.edu.au

I would ask him to come with me into a closet that's lit by candles and furnished with 2 comfortable easy chairs (probably covered in some really soft sheepskin covers), positioned opposite one another and then ask him to sit there and play acoustic versions of all of the songs on Grace on my guitar--to me.

Wow, I wish I could have dreamt that. Then it could have, sort of, really happened.

Efia

[moonlight--falls]

Operation: Jefferson Starship

Meet [REDACTED], Codename: Jefferson Starship. 

The Vampiric Council was looking for someone willing to birth 100 children to increase vampire population and feeding supply of the City of Bridgeport. They approached Jefferson for the role. 

She refused 

They offered a million simoleans. 

She accepted. 

How old is she really? Who the hell knows. What’s her real name? That’s none of your business. 

Why is she called Jefferson Starship? ‘Cause she built this city. She built this city on rock and roll 100 kids. 

...Also I made her a vampire and gave her the Hates Children trait for fun. 

[sullys-nose-hair]

YOU PLAY WIT YOURSELF 🥺🙏

@oreosplease @nonotthebasement @xxcha0t1c-racc00nxx

Twirling my 6ft long toe nail hair with my 000000000.01 cm long finger my 1cm legs shook wit pleasure.

(These are what ur feet look like, imagine them with longer toe nail hair)

There was always something about playing with my tow nail hair that filled my SMALL CUTE AND PETITE body with so much pleasure that I would just cum on the spot🥺🥺🥺

Jeffy Weffy wouldn't like me doing this, he says only he can play with my CUTE toe nail hair but I can't help but want to play with it. Even if I cum to many times.

Right now I b ok my 10th orgasm already and my CUTE AND PERFECT little voice fills Jeff's dirty, disgusting room that is nothing like me. I am perfect after all.

Idk when he will come back and right now as I twerl my blonde toe nail hair that comes out from underneath my toe nails, I could care less. It's long like I'm playing with my booty hair or anything. That is completely off limits for Jeffy Weffy.

Suddenly the door bursts open and their is Jeffy Weffy in his full pale Glory.

His crusty musty hair fell behind his skinny shoulders that be looking like they on life support, his blood drained white hoodie is dripping with blood as usual and his black skinny jeans are looking as musty as ever. Hi red, crusty lips are dripping their skin flakes onto the floor not like that's unusual for him, they always be doing that and his BEAUTIFUL DARK BLUE SPARKLING EYES are filled with some anger as he bite his crusty lips, getting some more flakes onto the ground as they were already in a 5 ft pile on the floor.

Stompinh over to me with his big man feet he glared down on my skinny and perfect 2'1 form, my big breasts were at least 2fr long were seating in my back hoodie bc I hates myself so much, my big fat juicy ass underneath me making the clapping sound that it always makes as my skinny stomach and small waist make me basically perfect.

Looking up at him with my PERFECT blue eyes in fear j shiver at the feeling of his lip crust pouring into my small form.

"Baby growl, were you playing with your lovely toe nail hair wit out me? "

His deep, sexy voice made me cum on the spot before I answered in my high pitched femine voice.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes m-m-m-m-m-m-my c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crust d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-daddy"

Smirking down at me 1 ft of crusty covered my small and CUTE form as I twerles my toe nail hair in my finger before he grabbed it with his big man hand that was 1000000000x bigger than mine and softly threw it back at me, making me fall over and moan in my CUTE voice before he responded

"Loo like u finna ge punnish"

Part two????? 🥺🙏

[avenging-fandoms]

Dad Jeff 🥺 again I can’t take it. His hands the size of her whole body. And his little smile. Baby’s seem to like Jeff

i just imagine him being so soft when he watched you hold alana, hearing how happy you were holding a baby and your soft coos, you sitting next to him. “you wanna hold her?” jeff nods and you place her on his chest, his hand covering her whole back and you giggle as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “your hands are nearly bigger than her, jeffy”

“she’s so tiny, nerf’s bigger than her” he says softly, his fingers stroking her back softly. he looked at you with soft eyes. “you want a baby?” 

you smile and lean over, kissing him softly. “i want many babies with you, jeff” you whisper, jeff smiling. you watch him as he holds her in his arms, feeding her the bottle and smiling and making faces at her. you kiss his shoulder and rest your head on his arm, nearly falling asleep while alana did because jeff’s voice was just so soothing.

[just-a-creep-babe]

Time for Jeff (Koval, not killer) content uwu.

“Babe...” he muttered, laying on your chest after a long winter day. His thoughts had been running wild for hours and he was starting to get frustrated. He internally prayed that you couldn’t feel his hard-on against your leg. You did feel it.

“What is it, Jeffy?” you laughed.

“You’re pretty.”

“I know.”

You both return to silence, a smug smirk on your face and an embarrassed smile on his. Jeff’s hips unconsciously begin to wind against you, and you finally take action. You shove your knee up against him and push him off of the couch and onto his knees. He yelps, not admitting how much the sternness makes him want to press his head between your thighs.

“Do you want something, princess?”

Jeff does. He absolutely does. He wants, more than anything, you. Whatever you have to offer, whatever you decide to give. Instead of letting his pride completely slip away from him, he bats his long eyelashes, leaning into you and whining. You grab his hair firmly but with a gentle touch to it.

“Use your words, baby. I’m not going anywhere near you until you do.”

He averts his eyes in embarrassment, then looks back up at you with bright red cheeks and gorgeous lips.

“Anything, everything. You’ve been driving me wild, love... you don’t even know how gorgeous you look right now. Please... just take the reigns tonight. I’m yours.”

And in the end, you’re just as much his.

-MASOCHIST HABIT

Oh my god these are so gosh dang amazing 😖😖💕💖💞

Drop a fic link now 🔫😳

[manawhaat]

Rock & A Hard Place

Title: Rock & A Hard Place (pt.1)

Characters: Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader x Norman Reedus

Summary: It takes a lot to open up to the men in your life, but entrusting them with your virginity is a step that takes your relationship to the next level.  

Warnings: Virgin!Reader, polyamorous relationship, slight angst, anxiety, loss of virginity, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, fluff. 

Word Count: 617

A/N: This is the start of a drabble series based on the reader losing her virginity to her boyfriends, JDM and Norman Reedus. This is not only the guys x reader but it’s also JDM x Normy, too.(Nicknames for the guys include: Jeff, Jeffy, Jeffrey, Sugar, Norman, Normy, Bubba.) Betad by the ever amazing @kittenofdoomage​ and @samsexualdeancurious​ ❤️❤️

Series Masterlist

“I’m a virgin!” 

The second the words left your lips, you wished you could take them back. Jeffrey and Norman had been nothing but sweet and just wanted to talk, but when the conversation found its way to the inevitable, you’d panicked and blurted it out. It had been weighing on your shoulders for almost five months, putting strain on the relationship you’d been nurturing with them, and now your embarrassing truth was finally free. The two men before you seemed to be struck by the words, but Jeff’s disheveled shirt made you realize you’d actually pushed him away from you in your panicked outburst.  

“Y/n,” Norman said, holding his hands out to you, showing you his palms and somehow making himself look smaller. “You’re a virgin?” 

The question hung in the air as your cheeks burned, eyes clamped shut so you wouldn’t have to see the looks on their faces when they decided it was all over. 

“Yeah, I’m a fucking virgin.” 

You didn’t realize you were crying until your weak voice found its way back into your ears. God, I sound pathetic. 

Before you could say another word, run, or shed another tear, Norman rushed forward and took you in his thick arms, holding you to his chest as you let a few sobs fall from your lips. 

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. Everyone was a virgin at some point.” He pulled away to look into your eyes. “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll work it out when you’re ready, okay? I know we’ve only been in this thing for a few months but I love you, Y/n. I really do, and I promise that you’re worth the wait- however long it takes.” 

It was the first time any of you said ‘I love you’ but you could tell that he meant it. His eyes bore down into yours, waiting for you to reply. Shaking your head, fear and heartbreak welled in your chest. Why was Jeffrey so fucking quiet?

Paralyzed with fear and concern, Jeff’s eyes evaded yours. He looked anywhere he could as his thoughts ran wild, his own panic gluing him to his spot. 

“Hey, man,” Norman tried, one hand still on your arm when he leaned in toward Jeffrey. “Jeff!” he barked, getting those brown eyes to finally move from the spot they were fixed to. Snapping out of his worried paralysis, Jeff rushed to your side to hold you in his arms. 

“Sorry, baby. Just caught me off guard. I- I know neither of us has been with a virgin in a long time and you’re probably freaking out, but we’re patient. We don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable around us, so just know that we’ll wait. As long as it takes, okay?” Holding you to him, Jeff could feel you melt against his chest. 

Where your shoulders went slack, his rose. Worry painted on his face as he met Norman’s eyes. You were the most precious thing in his life, he’d loved you from the first moment you met, and he’d never been more afraid than he was right now. Jeffrey was scared that he’d find a way to fuck this up and hurt you, that the two of them would find somehow ruin your first time and that this exciting, deep, loving thing you had between you would wither away.

“Hey…” Norman’s voice drew Jeff’s eyes up from the ground, those blue oceans so reassuring and soft all at once. “It’ll all be okay,” he said, pressing himself against your back and wrapping his arms around both you and Jeff before laying a kiss to the crown of your head and then a kiss to Jeffrey’s lips.

NEXT PART>>>

RPF Tags:

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