#LITERALLY TWEAKING SO HARD
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i’m going to strangle you/pos
I'M OKAY WITH THAT.
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Albus' Favorite: Payment
Ramble: Out of all the moments during BvZ 4, this one got me💀💀 I was planning to finish this few days ago but I was emotionally busy with personal stuff and I needed to thug it out w my friends and family atm BUT NOW I HAVE ALOT OF FREE TIME‼️‼️ I was also planning to draw faithful x albus but im still planning on the background 💀 so enjoy this for a moment and maybe some doodles next if I still haven't figured out what to draw next
Edit: also the head is Vilgrey🔥🔥
#goodboyaudios#good boy audios#gba#goodboyaudios bastard vs zombies#good boy audios bastard vs zombies#gba bvz#bastard vs zombies series#digital art#rp asmr#rp audio#x listener#goodboyaudios hipswitch#goodboyaudios albus#goodboyaudios atilla#gba albus#gba hipswitch#gba atilla#bro the first part of these drawing literally took me 3 days bcs my headache was a pain in the ass#when u tweaked so hard u got a headache for 2 days#but hey i now know i qualified enough to get a certificate to get the fuck outta of the hell hole (high school)#will miss my parent figures tho😓 (my fav teachers)
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See like the only reason I think the others seriously believed Curly may have crashed the ship is cause he basically had a 30 Rock "I lie to myself" momentary breakdown in front of them after one too many mocktails and like completely forgot about it.
#gee cap how do you handle all the responsibilty and stress of running such a fragile ship and crew? and Curly is gripping their shoulder#hard as hell cause hes not but he lies to himself and pushes it deep down until its buried.#him and daisuke are hanging on by a thread cause no way Daisuke isnt thinking in the back of his mind#“like omg why are you all so negative all the freakin time” and Curly is just listening to Daisuke breaking another pipe Swansea being rude#Jimmy being Jimmy and worrying about Anya like yeah i need more pre crash Jimmy being like what if I ended it just once or like tweaking ou#in his room in private like shutting the door screaming and then being like I will take responsibility for my crew *eye twitch*#also personal thought is he was also depressed and suicidal but in the way he really doesnt care what happens to him as long as everyone#else was fine like he wanted more in his life but he was also willing to let it pass him by as he laments how he felt he wasnt living for#anything and how it was affecting him before Jimmy shut him down#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#like pls i need to see more jaded curly like only Daisuke is truly hopeful and its literally because he would've lost nothing at the end of#the trip and hes like a college second semester freshman or whatever#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing spoilers
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gahdamn being in a fandom for close to ten years makes a bitch forget vital canon information
#like gahdamn i just want to write i don’t want to second guess the mechanics of basic fandom knowledge every three seconds#to be fair the main saturation of fandom content doesn’t contain a lot of the canon info either so it#there’s less density in how much of it you’ll see#i really should refresh myself but it is kinda hard to dig around#utmv#undertale#ut au#sans aus#i love fanon stories so much and i love using canon ideas but listen i need to at least include canonicity to some extent in writing#*like including fanon* not canon#(when i write) or i’ll tweak so hard#stupid things like ‘where does dust sans respawn when a reset occurs’ (its his sentry station despite it being depicted as his bed often)#‘is it ever addressed that horror sans literally seemed to blow up someones head psychically’?’ (not to my knowledge)#why is color sans not god status again (i don’t fucking remember if he is or not$#can killer sans actually utilize save and reloads (from my understanding he only can in a universe that relies on those mechanics??)#but how far is to far removed#does killer even summon red knife magic bcs i think that’s not canon right#i’m pretty sure he just uses a physical fucking knife right????#is it ever explicitly explained how much Defense a monster might gain when they LV up or gain EXP or did i make that up in my head#IT DOESNT MATTER BUT IT MATTERS TO ME💔💔💔💔💔💔💔#ramblings#i love the multiverse#i fucking love just undertale#don’t even get me started on deltarune mechanics i’ll go on for hours
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The character assassination of Demetri Alexopoulos is my 9/11
#I NEED to know what the writers were smoking so I can get myself some of it so I can forget everything that happened#I’m imagining Gianni reading the script and tweaking out at the atrocities they wanted his character to commit#he’s still my pookie wookie but#it’s getting VERY hard to defend him lately#actually no that wasn’t even him that was some kind of imposter#literal character assassination I’m gonna throw up#demetri alexopoulos#ck spoilers#cobra kai spoilers
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i have a confession to make…
warning: 18+ mdni, explicit content ahead
ok so for the longest time i’ve tried to keep my blog super wholesome and PG with the rare exception of one or two suggestive/smut fics here and there but honestly. i’ve reached my limit 😭 i’m gonna have to do it guys im sorry i disappointed you
(fuck im so dramatic i can’t even)
(it = write that jiung smut fic that’s been living in the back of my head for the past few weeks but has been rudely awakened due to Recent Events IYKYK)
(IM SCARED OK I SUCK AT WRITING SMUT BUT I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM RAHHH)
in the words of my moot — jiung you need to tone down your fanservice and visuals bc youre really making the chocochips act up 😭😭🫠😩
#GUYS I HAVENT WROTE SMUT IN 4 YEARS#jiung is literally making me come out of my smut hiatus#he’s actually insane for this#also just saying if the smut is bad don’t blame me cos I literally haven’t wrote smut in four fcking years#ok just putting the disclaimers out there first#CHAT LOWER UR EXPECTATIONS#I CANT WRITE SMUT TO SAVE MT LIFE#but i have so much delulu in my system i fear i will burst if i don’t let it out#in the form of a jiung fic#fck me#rach 💭#jiung#p1harmony#jiung fanfic#actually yeah look if it’s bad I’m sorry just saying but like me and 348kg had a serious chat about this#and we agreed this is the best way forward so#i will try my best 😭#jiung smut#choi jiung smut#p1harmony smut#jiung x reader#p1harmony x reader#IM TWEAKING ITS SO HARD
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Phi phi phi
#phisnom#phisart#:3#i love phi sm why she so silly#AUGHHHHHH#🙏🙏💥💥💥#i was literally tweaking so hard when he played wwattw
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haven't posted in a while been off goofin in this silly server so have this relatively old art I made cuz I don't have anything really interesting to post
#art#digital art#twdg#the walking dead game#oc#Telltale#Arvo twdg#I'm literally gonna end it all I'm tweaking I'm tweaking so hard why can't I art
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if nobody got me i know my melody got me
#im lirerally my melody irl guys😊😊#“face reveal?” my melody.#i've already face revealed on this account actually i just didnt make a big thing ab it so not many people know😭😭#whenever someone says i remind them of my melody i literally tweak so hard#LIKE AJDKFJSHDKFS REALLY 😍😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💝💝💝💝💝❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#my melody#sanrio#cute#girlcore#girlworld#hello kitty#girl therapy#girl things#girl code#pink girl#girly girl#pink blog#pink pink pink#that girl#hyperfemininity
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Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!
#shut up pu#I"ve had problems with insomnia my whole life so I'm sadly used to this#it comes and it goes#and right now it's in the middle of a big angry come#what do you mean that wording is atrocious??#it gets the point across#ordered a new screen for the draw slab so I've at least been proactive in fixing the problem#the only other problem is I hate drawing on brand new fresh screens too lol bad finger feel#only the middle screen is good for both fingies and pens#anyway the parts of chapter 3 I really love are coming up over the horizon#part of me does wish I would have tweaked the pacing of chapter 3 a little when realizing the usual posting schedule wasn't going to work#after real life delays all butted into production time bc chapter 3 was still paced for the 2 - 3 pages a week schedule#reading it all at once it still carries that pacing but I do feel a bit bad about the way it has felt at once a week#very occasionally twice lol#but I'm just a stickler for pacing so it bothers me personally probably more than it bothers literally anyone#knowing what it's meant to feel like on the proper release schedule vs. the slower release schedule is largely my own problem#and I'm feeling that extra hard right now because I'm having to do prep work for designing and asseting a new set#which saves a huge amount of time in the long run but slows things down in the immediate now#aka: I want to draw characters and story wahhh why am I making set pieces#also hey where the fuck's that stupid fox at he's even in the story synopsis write up where is he#get in the story proper you piece of shit#hello I am sleep deprived and rambling about comic production how are you doing
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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I don't usually have "ships" but when I do I'm pretty chill about- *trips and all these fall out of my pocket*
*frantically trying to shove drawings back in my pocket* oh gosh I um- look I'm actually super normal about them it's just- *another one falls out* aw geez--
look I um- ok I lied I'm not normal about them. on the bright side, turns out getting obsessed with The Characters is a good motivation to get some much needed drawing practice in!
#it's funny how I say 'getting obsessed' with them when I have literally had these two rotating in my head for so many years#I should say I'm only just now getting to *post* about my obsession. it's always been there#it's actually really hard to draw Celeair bc I keep having to stop and scream to myself over how cute his lil face is#he's literally looking with the 🥺face how am I meant to focus like this??#Margim is hard to draw bc I think my style lends itself better to characters with like. idk 'softer' features?#it just takes a lot more time and tweaking to get her looking close enough to how she's supposed to. this is why I need practice#lotro#lotro oc#Margim#Celeair#haven't logged into lotro for like two days bc I keep having to Draw Them but I'm SLOW at it
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i usually have to restrain myself from consuming certain pieces of media (listening to certain hamilton songs) because i know i’ll get so emotional it will fuck me up
#emotional could either be positive or negative 😇#like yorktown and who lives who dies who tells your story#one has me so excited and happy and freaking out and the other tears me to shreds and has me on the floor in tears#literally i start tweaking out so hard#its almost every major song atp 😭😭😭#hamilton#hamilton musical
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sorry if I become extra annoying im kinda tweaking over being on my own for the first time sooooo I might let myself become extra indulgent 💔💔💔
#‘aren’t u already super indulgent’ you’d be surprised#everything will be tagged either fanfic bullshit or gayalanwoke if you wanna block 😭#sorry i kinda maybe sorta will be having a moment. for a while.#idk if I can call myself disabled. but like yall know I have diagnosed cptsd and suspected-autism#sooooooo#taking care of myself is. not easy. At all#I can hardly manage with my parents#and now . idk. basically my routine for the past 20 years is being disrupted and im not handling it well#not only that. just.#again like I said taking care of myself in general is really hard#AND I have . college now.#lord 😭#I’ve always been a straight a student in high school and community college right#four months after my cptsd developed? I dropped out of community college 🫠#bc I literally couldn’t handle it#that was last February#now im at a . four year school#so#im tweaking#like actually this time#and since hyperfixations are All Consuming . they are as helpful as they are debilitating yk#so like yes this show/the fic might contribute to education problems. buttttt it’ll also stop me from crashing out!!!!!#so . yeah. yall might be hearing a bit more from me 😵💫#or#I’ll become extremely self conscious and never follow through#sorry#this is so funny I’m freaking out that yall might be angry im posting abt stuff that makes me happy LMFAOAOO#THIS IS LITERALLY ALL IN MY HEAD LMAOOOO#yall: hey gayalanwake! what’s up? cool binder. hey gayalanwake! wanna come over to my house today? :D#me: they alllll hated me 🐺
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okay so the n route has been bothering me ever since i played it and i needed to air my frustrations out as a way to cope i suppose
for reference my main detective who i use for n is felicity, but sometimes i also use arabella to test out some options i wouldn't normally pick and just to see how the romance works with a detective that isn't exactly that compatible with n. so when i first played, i used felicity and then later on when i was doing a deep dive into the romance and the plot, i was using arabella just to see if certain things held up yk! and lord how i wish it did LMFAO
just a little disclaimer that this is all just my opinion and i'm willing to listen to other points of view about this! and i do not mean any of what i say as a dig or to be hateful toward n, they are my favorite li in twc and the fact that i love their romance and their character so much is probably most if not all of the reason why their route in book 3 was so weird to me, and why i make the critiques that i do.
under the cut because this is a doozy and also book 3 spoilers
first of all the main thing in the demo chapters is that n gets mad if you try and fight the trappers bc they are so scared of losing you and like i GUESS i get it but this is literally our life now you're just gonna have to get used to it. and this wouldn't have even been an big issue for me if it was properly addressed! when i played using arabella i tried being mad, i tried staying mad, and it kept getting swept under the rug by the plot. like are we seriously not going to talk about this??? at all?????? and it seems very ooc for n NOT to say anything about it when you get a moment alone because why would they not address it, ESPECIALLY if your mc was still upset over it. AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE- these things need to be discussed in order to grow as a couple and there needs to be healthy communication or else this is not going to work. like you're telling me we were living with unit bravo for WEEKS and this shit just never got brought up again?
this also ties into my next gripe- n's backstory. so, if you snooped in the demo they won't tell you anything, which okay. mc shouldn't have done that, sure, but n doesn't even give a reason as to why they're upset by that. obviously you can be like "well i think anyone would be upset if you delved into their past without their knowledge or permission" but YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON WHY IS THERE NO COMMUNICATION OF FEELINGS. i would have appreciated that scene a hell of a lot more if n sat you down and was like "i'm upset that you did this, here's why," but all they do is get sad and then that's it. when i played as arabella i had her snoop AND get upset over the argument during the trapper fight, and n said something along the lines of "i know sometimes we regret doing things" as a reference to snooping AND the argument which??? just does NOT hold up at all and had me irritated as hell.
if you didn't snoop in the demo, n takes you to their room and shows you a picture of their family and talks about them and how his brother joined the navy and didn't come back (their brother was killed by vampires) and that's why they decided to join the navy, as a way to try and figure out what actually happened. this scene started off great, but it's cut short way too quickly because n drops the photo and the frame breaks. and then they basically just shoo you out. there's really not any option to comfort them, and the option that is there is not good enough. and it's not that n had to tell us EVERYTHING in that one scene, but it's more so the fact that it NEVER gets brought up again. your mc can't take a moment to bring it up and n sure as hell doesn't say anything else about it. which is so ?????? im sorry you supposedly love this person (im saying this for both mc and n) and yet neither of you address it again??? it makes no sense at all.
onto the research/combat scene… i've done the combat scene once so i can't really speak on that as much as the research one so. most of the research scene is fine aside from the fact if you're not in a relationship (which i did for one playthrough with felicity) n brings up bobby if you dated them which felt so bizarre but anyways. the option to realize you love n… i would love this IF the option where you tell n you love them actually mattered. LMFAO if you tell n you love them they literally just stare at you and then the sex scene pops up. like are you kidding me??? n would not just leave you hanging like that even if it was just to say that they don't feel that way yet. and the sex scene itself is… fine i suppose but it doesn't feel as intimate as it should be. there's little to no dialogue and it just feels so weird to read. like why would neither of you be saying anything?? not to mention the fact that you're literally OUTSIDE of the warehouse where any of ub could see you at any point it just feels wrong to have sex at that point at least in my opinion. and the talk after feels so short and weird i feel like both the detective and n would have more to say. and that moment is quickly brushed away by the plot.
i guess the next plot line is whether u told tina or verda or nobody about the supernatural. going into book 3 this was probably what i looked forward to the most and ofc it barely delivered. i liked seeing tina and n interact but that quickly turned sour for me, not because tina started rightfully bringing up how much mc has been through, but because n really does not do anything with that pov being voiced to them, which is so fucking ooc it pains me. when they go to talk to mc after their conversation there's no discussion just "i wanted to see you" okay but WHY did you? i would have taken a li pov of what tina relayed to them literally anything! and it's just another thing that gets swept under the rug because of the stupid ass plot.
another thing about the dinner that gets lost in the plot of book 3: tina/verda bringing up your li possibly drinking your blood and mc can react a number of different ways and i wish it had been talked about more than just in that moment 😭
the only scene that i genuinely enjoyed in all of n's route was after that building caves in on mc and you're back at the warehouse traumatized and bruised and defeated. n runs you a bath and if you pick that option helps you out of your clothes and then helps you settle into bed. i wish there had been more discussion of anything in that scene but mc was so out of it i was okay with no talking. and then redacted petname <3 the other thing i was most looking forward to! one thing i did dislike about this scene though was that we didn't really get a glimpse on how n was feeling yk usually mishka offers the li's pov on a scene and not having that made that moment not feel as rounded out.
the pool scene… first of all why did n get this one. like it would have made sense for m, hell even a! and again the scene felt so shallow and then the option to have sex. you're telling me your first time with n can be on a fucking pool table???? that is so not their vibe AT ALL and it feels so weird to even have that there. it was unnecessary as well as the other opportunity to have sex and i feel like mishka just put them in there as like fan service when who (in my opinion) genuinely wants this if they romance n and have them as their main route. i had hoped the first time n and mc have the opportunity to have sex it would be a more intimate setting because that's more fitting for them and my nate mc, felicity. but nope! and then the scene gets cut short because n has to go on patrol??? and again the sex scene itself … neither of them feel personable it's like a "one size fits all" type of approach and that just does not work if this is supposed to be interactive fiction where we create a personality for our mc's that cannot fit this specific mold mishka wants to put everyone in.
being invited to what might as well just be a fucking slave trade (i have many thoughts about this auction plotline as well but for now im discussing n's route) had me so confused because why would mishka even do that and then n's comment about the stationary? i need you to be fucking for real. the scene before you leave for the mission with n just felt so weird like we get it n is protective of mc but at this point it just felt like a hinderance which sucks because one of the things i love most about n is their deep care for mc and they just sounded like a broken record and it annoyed me so bad.
after all that, the scene when you come back and n is in tears confessing their love for mc i wanted to enjoy it i really did and i just could not upon replaying because it feels so unbelievably hollow. we have not discussed anything pertaining our relationship and when there are things that need to be discussed they are so underwhelming it's hard to even care. there are a handful of things n and mc both need to work on in order for this relationship to work and the fact that they're not being addressed makes it difficult for me to enjoy anything about this route. you can't even tell n you love them back for fuck's sake like hello.
a theme that i did not think was going to be as prominent as it was in this book but n contemplating mc turning into a vampire and AGAIN there wasn't ever really a discussion about this between mc and n and i feel like this will come to a head as the books progress but i don't think it fit into book 3 considering so many other things were being thrown at us.
all in all i truly desperately wanted to enjoy book 3 and enjoy being with n but i cannot when there are so many things ignored, sidelined, or just completely forgotten in order to push the plot forward.
#n sewell#twc book 3#twc book 3 spoilers#again this is in no way an attack on n i love them sm it's embarrassing at times#i just wanted better for their route and for this book and it sucks bc these are such minor tweaks in the grand scheme of things -#but when they pile up like this it becomes hard to ignore and just feels like the amount of discrepancies is overwhelming#it has been a horrible couple of days being natesewell . LMFAO#anyway if u made it this far thanks for reading <3#i seriously was debating even making this post as well but my brain needed to do SOMETHING like#ugh .#twc is such a comfort to me and so is n it's just hard to not take this so hard#and i know that probably sounds ridiculous to say since this is literally just fiction#but yea !#feel free to send me asks/dms abt this i would love to discuss this more
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Gonna have to start putting "Not Linked Universe" in the image, the caption, and the tags on any generic Zelda post or anything that's my own au at this rate
Maybe I'll do it all capitalized
#Gonna sound like an ass hole for this#But it is literally not that hard to at least look at the tags on someone's post#Just because there is more than one Link there#Doesn't mean it's part of linked universe#This is a huge reason why I stopped drawing LU stuff#at least full finished drawings#Whenever I would make a generic Zelda drawing#HOLY SHIT IS THAT LU??#NO IT'S NOT#It's makin' me tweak so bad sometimes#What I just like#Left LU entirely#Might fix everything for me
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