#LISTEN.​ THIS IS JUST ONE AU OUT OF MANY WHERE FOR SOME REASON IMPULSE ACCEPTS HIS “APOLOGY”😭

[bakedtato223]

Lil kissy 😘

[cuttoothed]

Fic for day 3 of @jonmartinweek for the prompt "Healing & Recovery". We've all been saying jmart need a lot of therapy after the finale, so...yeah.

Disclaimer: I have never been to couple's therapy. I have done some reading on it, but this is not intended in any way to accurately reflect real world therapy practices. Please just assume that anything "off" is due to the way couple's therapy is practiced in AU-land (though of course feel free to let me know if you spot anything egregious).

*

“Why don’t you start,” Judith suggests, “By telling me about the incident?”

The two men on the sofa give her identical startled looks, as if she’s uncovered something incriminating. Martin seems to regain his composure first; he clears his throat, and his hand moves to cover Jon’s, unconsciously protective.

“Sorry, wh-what do you mean by “incident”?”

“For most couples who come to see me, there’s an...inciting incident,” Judith explains. “Something that makes them realize they could use some professional support to work through things. Of course any couple can benefit from seeing a therapist together on occasion, to deal with small issues before they become big ones. But, well, it’s the same way that everyone knows they should go for regular check ups with their GP rather than waiting until they actually get sick—it’s just not something most people get around to until they need it.”

She pauses to give them time to consider that, and after a moment Jon nods, looking mildly embarrassed.

“Right,” he says. “That’s, ah, I think that’s fair.”

“There are pretty strong extenuating circumstances, though,” Martin huffs defensively. “We didn’t exactly have the option for therapy in the a—wh-where we lived before.”

“It’s not intended as a criticism,” Judith tells him. “You’ve chosen to talk to a therapist, and that’s a big step—one that many people never take. You’re ahead of the curve, Martin.”

Martin looks mollified at that; he’s clearly a bit touchy about perceived criticisms of their relationship, and Judith doesn’t want to get him on the defensive. She gives them both an encouraging smile.

“So,” she says. “Is there an incident you’d like to talk about?”

The two of them look at each other expectantly, as if each is waiting for the other to start. After several long moments of silence, Jon raises his eyebrows meaningfully, and Martin sighs.

“Fine,” he says. “So, we, uh, we recently realized that our...garden was a-a bit of a mess. So we—Jon and I—we get together with our...housemates, to figure out what kind of flowers we should plant. Fuschias or—or hydrangeas. ”

He pauses to glance nervously at Jon, who gives him a reassuring nod, squeezing his hand.

Right, Judith thinks, This is probably not about flowers.

“We agree we all want fuschias,” Martin continues, “Except Jon—he wanted hydrangeas. But we took a vote, and it was fuschias.”

“Except of course most of our—our housemates weren’t there for that meeting,” Jon interjects, folding his arms across his chest.

“Yes, but we agreed we couldn’t wait to ask every single person,” Martin says sharply, back on the defensive. Jon’s brow furrows and his mouth opens as if to say something, but he changes his mind and shuts it again. Conflict aversion is one of the most common dysfunctions Judith sees in the couples she treats; very few people want to disagree with the person they love, and even fewer know how to have a constructive conflict. She makes a mental note of it for later.

“Go ahead, Martin,’ she suggests gently. Martin looks unhappy, but continues.

“So we agree to plant the fuschias the next day, but Jon—Jon sneaks out in the middle of the night and starts, uh, planting hydrangeas. Without telling anyone.”

Without telling me, Judith hears in his hurt tone. Jon’s arms are still folded, and he’s almost squirming in his seat with the effort to not interject; Judith decides it’s a good time to invite him into the story.

“Jon, why did you feel so strongly about the hydrangeas?”

“It’s—it wasn’t that I wanted hydrangeas, I just couldn’t a-accept the idea of—of fuchsias.”

“Couldn’t allow it, you mean,” Martin grumbles. Judith lets it pass and continues to focus on Jon.

“Why is that?”

“They, uh, they spread…” Jon waves his hands vaguely. “Their—their...roots? They would get into the, uh, the neighbors’ gardens, completely take over, destroy everything.”

“Potentially,” Martin insists. “There was no guarantee—”

“There was no reason they wouldn’t,” Jon snaps.

By now Judith is not only sure that this has nothing to do with gardening, but suspects that neither of these men has ever seen a fuchsia in their lives. It’s fine, though. This is far from the first time a client has invented a story out of whole cloth so they can work through something uncomfortable without actually describing it. And this is their first session; Judith hopes in the future they’ll trust her enough to give her the real story.

“Remember,” she tells them. “We’re not here to decide that someone was objectively right or wrong, we’re here to help you understand each other and improve your communication skills.”

“Right,” Martin mutters, unconvinced. Jon’s expression is distressed, but he continues.

“There was no other choice,” he says wearily. “The only other option was—was azaleas, and I know you didn’t want that, Martin.”

“Absolutely not.” Martin sounds horrified. “But hydrangeas, Jon? Do you really think that was a better option?”

“You have to see the difference.” Jon’s tone goes stiff and incredulous, as if he’s winding up for a lecture, and Judith decides to cut that off before it starts.

“So what I’m hearing,” she says, “Is that you both had very strong, conflicting opinions on this topic. And that’s okay—it’s okay for you to disagree, even on something important. You’re not always going to agree on what the right thing to do is. Often there is no single “right thing,” so it comes down to how the different choices make us feel.”

“That doesn’t seem like a good way to make a decision that affects the wh—a lot of people.” Jon clearly considers that his opinion on not-flowers was the objectively correct one. Judith smiles.

“People aren’t computers, Jon. Even the most logical minded person in the world is influenced by their feelings—about important issues, about other people. You’d be surprised at how much of our decision making is rooted in emotion; either how we anticipate the outcome of our decision will make us feel, or how we are feeling in the immediate moment of the choice.”

A spasm of something that might be grief or pain flashes across Jon’s face, and he leans unconsciously in Martin’s direction. Martin’s arm instantly goes around him, offering comfort without thought. It’s clear that these two love each other deeply, unquestioningly—and that’s also part of the problem. When someone you love thinks that you’re wrong about something that’s important to you, it can feel like a rejection of your entire self.

“I’d like to pause this discussion for now, and try a little exercise,” she says. Jon nods, sitting back up and disengaging from Martin’s embrace; Martin looks attentively at her, though his expression is unsure.

“One of the biggest challenges we face with people we love is recognizing that they are separate from us. I know—” she says, raising her hands to stop the objections she can already see forming on their lips. “Of course you know that you’re separate people. We all know that, rationally. But emotionally, it’s natural to see the people you’re close to as extensions of yourself—it’s an evolutionary impulse to aid group bonding. It happens with friends and family, and it’s an even stronger impulse between partners.

“We have to do a lot of work to truly internalize the idea that the people we love have their own inner emotional lives that drive their opinions and decisions. But once you are able to fully grasp that truth, it makes disagreeing with the person you love feel less emotionally fraught; it’s a powerful tool for navigating conflict constructively.”

Jon is frowning, but it’s in consideration rather than disapproval. Martin still looks skeptical, his body language defensive, though he doesn’t say anything. That’s probably the best she’s going to get for now, Judith thinks.

“So,” she says. “The exercise is this: I’d like each of you to take a few moments to think, and then tell the other person something about yourself. Not a fact, but something that you feel. And I would like you to listen without interrupting when your partner tells you their feeling. Can you each do that?”

“I, ah—” Jon’s frown deepens. “That’s...rather difficult to do on demand.”

“I know,” says Judith with sympathy. “That’s why I’m here, to support you both in doing the difficult things. If it was easy, you wouldn’t need a therapist to facilitate.”

“Right,” says Jon. “Okay.”

“Martin?”

“Fine,” he says, but his tone is reluctant. Judith gets it; vulnerability is hard enough in front of someone you love, never mind with a stranger in the room. It’s easier to pretend that it’s pointless, that you’re not really putting yourself out there to be hurt. She has the feeling that Martin is someone who would rather avoid being hurt, even if it means closing himself off.

“All right,” she says. “When you’re ready, Jon, would you mind going first? No rush, take all the time you need.” Hopefully, seeing Jon take the first step might help Martin get over some of his defensiveness.

“Oh,” he says, and for a few moments his expression devolves into one of intense concentration. Then he nods, turning towards Martin.

“Start with “I feel”,” Judith suggests.

“All right,” he says, breathless with nerves. “I, uh, I feel...responsible. For—well, for everything, basically. And for everyone. Bad things have happened to people, and it’s my fault, because I should have done something. Everything that happened, back there, it was all because of me.”

“It wasn’t you, Jon!” Martin protests. “Annabelle told us—”

Judith is about to remind him that he’s supposed to just be listening, but he cuts himself off first. Jon laughs, an ugly sound that’s more like a sob.

“And how is that supposed to help? Knowing that the—that they were using me my whole life, how does that absolve me of any responsibility for what I did? For the fact that I failed to do anything to stop them? I couldn’t even go through with the one thing that could have actually meant something, because—”

He clamps his mouth shut, his jaw locked tight; Martin looks down at his hands, his expression distraught.

“Because of me.”

“Martin—” Jon’s tone is wounded, and he reaches for Martin’s hand. Judith sees reflections of a shared pain in both their faces, though she doesn’t understand why; this would be a lot easier if they’d just tell her the truth.

But you didn’t get into this profession because it was easy, did you?

“Thank you for sharing that, Jon. I think there’s a lot more for us to explore there, but let’s give you a break and give Martin a chance to share, okay?”

Jon nods, clutching Martin’s hand in his. Martin gives a long, slow exhale.

“Righto,” he says with false, brittle cheer. “”I feel,” wasn’t it? Right. Jon, when you do something stupidly self-sacrificing for other people, I feel like everyone else is more important than me.”

Jon flinches.

“Martin,” Judith says, keeping her tone level. “Let’s keep the focus on what you feel, not on what causes you to feel that way, okay?”

“Right,” Martin mutters, and glances at Jon. “Okay. In that case, I feel...like I’m not important. Like the only thing I can really do is—is take care of you. And if I can’t even do that, then what bloody use am I? That’s it, I suppose.”

“Martin…” Jon says again, softly. His eyes are wet, and he’s clinging to Martin’s hand like a drowning man to a plank. Martin swallows hard and shakes his head, but he makes no move to extract his hand from Jon’s grip.

“Thank you, Martin,” Judith tells him. “I know that wasn’t easy to share, for either of you. But this is the kind of honesty that we need, in order to build strong communication. Let’s all take five minutes—if either of you want to take a bathroom break, or get some water—and then we can talk about where to go from here. All right?”

Martin disappears to the loo, while Jon wanders around the office, looking with polite interest at the shelves of books and ornaments. Judith writes a few notes for herself, to follow up in future sessions. She hopes there’ll be future sessions. Both of these men seem deeply hurt, traumatized by events that they’re just barely alluding to, and have clearly been struggling through as best they can with less than ideal coping mechanisms, trying—and likely failing—not to hurt each other in the process. They both need individual counselling as much as couples’ therapy—maybe more. She’s certainly going to recommend it..

They clearly love each other, though. And they want to make it work. If they’re willing to put the effort in, they have better than even odds in their favor.

Martin’s eyes are red-rimmed when he returns; he sits on the sofa as near as he can to Jon, who presses their shoulders together. Judith can’t help smiling at the sight.

“How long have the two of you been together?” she asks. She always asks new clients at the end of the first session, rather than at the beginning; that way she can get a feel for the relationship without preconceptions based on longevity. The two of them look at each other properly, for the first time since Martin came back in, and matching, sheepish smiles break out on both their faces after a moment.

“So it was three weeks in Scotland,” Martin begins, ticking it off on his fingers. “And then—how long?”

“Uhh, it’s...let’s say half a year, give or take?” Jon makes a face that says he’s really not all that sure.

“Right, and then we’ve been here nearly six months. So...about a year, all in all?”

“But we knew each other for over three years before that,” Jon insists earnestly.

“It sounds as if the two of you have been through a lot,” says Judith. “And not all of it gardening related?”

“No,” Jon says with a self-deprecating chuckle. “Mostly not.”

“We barely scratched the surface today—and that’s normal. Relationships are complicated, and it takes a lot of time and hard work to build understanding and communication. But I promise you, it is worth all the effort. You both made a really strong start today—it takes courage to be that honest, even with your partner.”

The two of them give each other a long look, and the smile they trade is tentative, but genuine. They haven’t solved anything today, have only just begun to reveal their hurt and their insecurities; they have a long journey ahead to get to a truly honest, healthy place both for themselves and their relationship. Judith has a feeling they’ll persevere, though—that losing each other simply isn’t an option.

“So,” she says, “Should we make this a recurring appointment?”

Jon glances questioningly at Martin, who bites his lip and then nods firmly, taking Jon’s hand in his.

“Yeah,” Martin says. “We’ve done much harder things. We can do this.”

“Together?” says Jon, and Martin smiles.

“No matter what.”

[cafecourage]

The moment they realized they loved you. (Isekai Au Edition) Part 3

If you want more information on this AU here is the Link!

Hyrule:

- It confusing and full of yearning.

- The Fae Folk are very affectionate in nature. Physical touches and platonic kisses are just normal. Hyrule growing up briefly with them had adopted this habit.

- You are like that as well so you’re the one to take care of Hyrule when he wanted affection. Since other then Legend, it’s awkward to ask the others.

- He finds however while he still asks/gives you affection. He gets more flustered and embarrassed when you initiated contact.

___________________________________

Admittedly Hyrule never had a clear understanding of Hylian social norms. Some things were easy to pick up when he was just traveling by himself. However, there was a lot that conflicted with Fae social norms. While yes, the Fae were more mischievous and could be borderline malicious, they are very affectionate creatures. Which was the one of many things Hyrule picked up when he was being raised by the Great Fairy.

Before you join the chain, he had to hold himself back from being overly affectionate with the group. Yes, when he had chances, he would give a quick side hug or ruffling of the hair for the younger Link’s. But nothing on the level of cuddles or small peaks on the cheek and forehead. You though! You were the one to lay the affection on everyone thick. Most if not every Hero has melted from all the complements and physical affection.

Hyrule was living his best life now with you! Cuddles are a must for the two of you. Especially when one another has been having a rough day. You’ve also gotten the others involved with this newly formed ritual. He just over all feeling comfortable and loved.

Which then leads to Hyrule’s issue. Slowly he began to feel embarrassed with every peak after he heals you. Then his heart begins to race when he is cuddled up resting his head against your chest. Even holding your hands became hard for him to stand! It felt so warm but also made him fearful. He was scared of losing you. Losing this warmth. This comfort. He wanted to keep it but scared that this feeling was to good for him.

“-and that’s what happen so far.” He was visiting the Great Fairy Cotera of Wild’s Era. He had visited her each time they visited Kakariko. Cotera gently hummed messing with his hair. “What should I do?” He looks up to the giantess worriedly. His small sisters surround him ether sitting on top of him or by his side.

Their mother hummed as she thought about his problem. “My dear sweet child.” She started after a long pause “this human… do you feel different compared to your other friends? Or with your siblings in the forest?”

Hyrule thought about it after a while shook his head. “No… I did used to feel embarrassed with the others but it was different. This is more… warm?”

“Warm?” She urges him gently to continue. “Do you hate it?”

“No…” he sounded like a child, fidgeting in his seat “I hate how anxious it makes me now.” You meant a lot to him. Hyrule knew you meant a lot to everyone too, but that normal! You’ve helped them all in some sort of way! Yet he was deep in that unidentifiable emotion towards you. He adores you. All of you. Even during your more impulsive actions he didn’t mind having to heal you. Of course, he would truly rather not heal anyone with his magic. Yet… with you giving his payment in kisses on the cheek or forehead… he can’t stay mad at you.

“Chin up little one.” Cotera lifted up his head “your feelings are valid and has a simple explanation.” Hyrule pouted slightly making her giggle a bit tapping lightly on his nose. “You my dear seem to love your sweet human.”

It was like a lanterned was just lit in a dark cave he was wandering in. Finally revealing a path out. Everything thing slowly explaining itself. “Oh…” was all he could say as he was comprehending it. His sisters were giggling at their brother’s expense causing him to blush. It all made to much sense.

“Roolie! Are you nearby?” He and the Great Fairy both perk up when they heard your voice. He stared up at the Great Fairy expectingly.

“Well?” Cotera nudged him off of the petals of her fountain. “What are you waiting for little one?”

___________________________________

- Well, that was embarrassing and he knows once he starts perusing you. The more his siblings of the forest will start to tease him. Not only that but the chain also catches on pretty quickly.

- He becomes a blushing and stuttering mess around you, not pulling away from your touch but leaning more into him.

- It will be a miracle if he confesses but he will! And he will do it in a more intimate manner though, with or without help.

___________________________________

Four:

- It took long to accept but filled with soft cotton fluff.

- Isn’t canon in the manga that the colors (minus Vio) straight up try to impress a girl they just met?

- Now I’m not saying he is like that now a days, but old habits die hard right. He probably doesn’t even recognize that he still does it.

- Honest to God the resident brain cell is the only one that new point blank what was happening. Having a “not again” moment.

___________________________________

It’s been a while since Four was back in his forage. He missed every second of it. The smithing process was the one hobby each color had in common. As Link they found it relaxing, something to get their mind off of things.

That morning was no different. Traveling on the road was stressful even for a seasoned adventurer. Traveling alone was boring which was the upside according to Red. It relieved them of responsibility Green was used to taking upon himself to carry. Blue was at least a lot calmer with having to be on alert all the time. Vio had pointed out this was mainly because of You.

The chaos came back full force. The same argument has been happening recently, it was about his feelings towards you. Now they all liked you as a friend. Four knew that for a fact. He was only six when he felt your presence and this situation, he was in was as if an imaginary friend became real! At least that’s what Red felt.

No matter if they were unified or separated, Four could trust you to help him out of even the messiest situations. So, what if some of those situations were caused by him trying to impress you? That doesn’t mean anything!

Just because Blue became a stuttering mess when you surprised Four with a flower crown just meant he was taken aback at your kindness! He isn’t good at showing his emotions. Yeah, so what about Green becoming a soft mess when you first showered him in praise and affection. Wouldn’t any person do that from someone that been through hell and back with them? It doesn’t count that Red craves your affection! He is like that with everybody and just because it makes him feel different it doesn’t count. Someone saves Vio from this.

Four was conflicted which is why he was working so early in the morning. They wouldn’t shut up about their own feelings. It was a chaotic mess inside his head as soon as he woke up. A weight on his back clued him back into reality “Good morning!” You while looking down at him smiling still holding on lazily. “How is the most beautiful person here doing?”

Ah. There goes most of composure out the window. Vio was the last one standing with Green and Blue almost hanging on. You loved to tease him and he was never able to get you back. “Don’t know how are you?” Four was really struggling to keep unified and calm. He was shaking because of the other three’s nerves. You stared at him wide eyed.

“Jeez look at you!” You give him a squeeze before finally let go of him “you’ve grown! If only you were that smooth towards Erune.” You teased.

The blush he was so desperately trying to beat down started to flare up this time out embarrassment. “Can we not talk about that?” Four could only cringe when he thought back at that bit in his adventure. Him and Erune have been close friends since then, but the colors were really trying to play the hero in front of the poor girl back then. Their antics truly were really not impressing anyone.

Green was really happy he grew out of it. Seriously it‘s not like Blue really cared about it anyway he was just a kid! Red was just happy that he got a long-term friend out of it! The audacity the others had was killing Vio. They are still just as bad and it seems like no one was listening to reason.

An explosion of emotions and thoughts collided in Four’s skull. Three denying their logical side’s claim all while getting thrown every instant in their faces by the odd one out. “Whatcha making anyway?” You were observing the short knife blade curiosity not seeing the other’s internal debate. Vio felt like he had to spell it out to each of them. Pulling up memories of their actions towards the outlander. Four struggled to focus on what you were saying but it was too loud!

“Woah there.” You turn him away from his project letting it sit safely on a cooler section of the work top. “Breath Link.” You where kneeling down in-front of him holding his hand. He focused on your warmth. The way you rubbed small circles on the back of his hand. On your voice that instructed him to breathe. In for four, hold for seven, let out for eight. Repeat. Slowly the divide melded back together. Soon the voices faded out. “There we go.” You whispered “good job Link.” Four stared back at you still tired from everything but nonetheless happy that your here with him.

Man, he loved you so much.

Wait-

___________________________________

- It was definitely an I told you so moment.

- Four as a whole though is still struggling to come to terms with it, even though he had already admitted his feelings.

- Another case of: drown him in affection until he realized. Not because of him not believing you! It’s just you have four people in a trench coat here! If one is conflicted then four as a whole will feel that subtly.

___________________________________

Bonus (just Headcanons):

Wind (finding out that a Link has a crush on you)

- The little gremlin is going to have a field day! He was thinking about messing around but the other hero is doing his work for him!

- The only one saved from this Black Mail harvest is you. He does have a few things but you mostly let him off the hook when he gets in trouble anyway sooooo…

- Not the best wing man but he honestly isn’t trying. He is just enjoying the journey.

- He might be tempted to help if he was asked but there isn’t much he could do. You are his right hand after all! Why would he let your secrets go so easily?

- Imagine Wind just vibes with you when the other Link is trying their best and you literally ask if the other hero was ok since they are acting weird around you. It would take Wind a minute to get an answer because all he is thinking is: ‘are you dense?’

- Or on the flip side. If you know about their feelings. He would definitely be on board of helping you out. Again, you’re his right hand! Of course, he’ll help you! (Favoritism)

- Wind: “Don't worry. He likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read their diary.” (Y/n): “He thinks it's fancy?”

(Part 1) and (Part 2)

My First Request is now done :D! That was fun. Thank you Pinky and Star for the request <3

[anonymouslyangsty]

You wanna hear a super angsty au idea? Taka just so happens to walk in when Mondo bludgeons Chihiro with the dumbbell. Taka's first instinct is to try and resuscitate Chihiro, who is unconscious but just holding on. When it becomes clear that Chihiro is going to die regardless, Taka makes an impulse decision. He delivers the killing blow himself.

First of all how dare you.

Second of all...That’s a very good idea.

Off topic for a sec. I’ve always thought that Taka is capable of killing, that ALL of the students are. But I can’t see him killing for selfish reasons. Taka wouldn’t kill just to escape. Either he’d do it to save someone else, or protect something worth dying for. Either way, I have a hard time thinking of a situation where he’d actually try to escape. Taka wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice the lives of others for his own.

But to sacrifice his life to save someone he cares about? Yes. 

And honestly, though it’s so far from what we’re used to with his character, I can see it. Taka would freak out of course, do everything in his power to keep Chihiro alive. He has to, because if he fails than both Chihio and Mondo will die. And in that moment, there’s no rebuke of Mondo, no thought on his friend’s character that he’d do something like this. Just the raw terror of seeing someone die right before his eyes.

Giving up is something that isn’t in Taka’s character. He doesn’t give up. He keeps fighting tooth and nail for what he wants, regardless of how much it hurts. But that willingness to sacrifice and suffer is for him and him alone. 

But in that gym? Watching someone bleed out and convulse in his arms? That’s a totally different situation. If it were his life on the line, he’d keep trying to help Chihiro until the body started to cool. But someone else, Mondo, will die if he can’t fix this!

And that panic, that sudden realization that Mondo will die, is enough to make Taka pause in his panicked attempts to slow the bleeding. If Chihiro dies, Mondo will be a murderer. He’ll be killed, executed. And that...terrifies Kiyotaka.

Taka doesn’t have many friends. In fact, he had none before Mondo. All his work in the morals committee got him the sneers and hate of his classmates. And so having now made a friend, the kind of connection Taka had longed for but could never grasp...Taka’s unwilling to let that die. He’s unwilling to let Mondo die. 

So Taka gives up, at least on saving Chihiro. He accepts that it’s something his hard work can’t fix.

But he can save Mondo. 

And really, it’s not like it changes anything, right? He’s the leader, the one tasked with keeping everyone together. Any death that happens within Hope’s Peak is HIS fault, because he’s meant to be guiding everyone down the right path. Thus, him killing Chihiro is no different from the fact that he allowed Leon and Sayaka to die. At least here, someone else won’t take the fall for his failures. 

If Taka were left to his own devices, it would be a quick trial. He’d have no reason to hide what he’d done, because doing so would make his whole goal pointless. 

But he isn’t left to his own devices. Mondo’s there.

And Mondo...I’m not sure what his initial reaction would be. Shock at what had happened, anger that Taka would throw his life away for someone like him, relief that he isn’t going to die... I’m not sure. But whatever it is, I think Mondo would ultimately decide that he has to save Kiyotaka

He’s already a murderer. He killed Daiya with his pride, then killed Chihiro because he was weak. Now he’s about to drag Kiyotaka down with him. Another victim in the long list of his fuck ups. 

But a man doesn’t let others take the fall for his mistakes. He already did that to two people. Mondo wouldn’t let Taka be next.

So Mondo, as Taka’s cleaning up and trying to make Chihiro’s body look as neat as possible, is planning. Mondo’s not really a plan guy. He’s the ‘rush in and knock heads’ type. But he’s also the leader of the biggest biker gang in Japan. When he needs to be tactical, he CAN be. 

And he’s got to be tactical to save Kiyotaka.

Taka’s not going to let him take the fall. He’ll label himself the killer as quickly as possible and all but begged Monokuma to kill him. 

So Mondo has to force him into it.

From what I see, he’s got two options. He can ALSO confess, make it look like Taka’s trying to take the blame to save his friend. It’d be a hard case, because it’d just be his word against Taka’s. He’d got like a 50% chance of that working.

Second option is to make Taka forget what happened. Which wouldn’t exactly be easy, but it’s possible. Mondo’s been fighting for YEARS, he’s been surviving on the streets. I’m sure he knows how to make someone forget the last couple of hours, be it through knocking them in the head the right way, or drugging them.

 And sure, Mondo wouldn’t do that kind of thing usually. He’s not some prick going around putting stuff in a girl’s drink. But being on the streets for as long as he has, Mondo would definitely understand how that stuff works, if only so he can stop it. 

Whatever way he picks, I see Mondo pulling a bit of a Celeste in this latter option. Laying an unconscious Taka out, covering him with blood, and making it look like he was attacked and survived. And just PRAYING he doesn’t remember killing Chihiro, so Mondo can take the fall and he can escape. 

All and all it’s a very interesting idea. Mainly because it puts the two strong determinations of our lads against one another. Both are terrified of losing a brother, so much so that they’re willing to die to save them. 

And honestly, if Mondo can manage to make Taka forget about killing Chi, I think he could successfully frame himself. All the evidence would point to him, not to mention that it’s far easier to think Mondo attacked Chi than Taka.

Imagine that situation. Imagine Taka, desperate and horrified, insisting Mondo would never kill someone despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary. And he’s begging them, sobbing and crying, begging them not to kill his only friend. A man who he’d do anything to save.

Only for them to vote anyway...and to be wrong.  And for one flash, there’s this burning anger. He told them, told them that Mondo was a good man, that he would never kill anyone. If only they listened, if only anyone ever listened. If only he were a better leader.

But then he hears Monokuma congratulating him of all people. Congratulating him on graduating, successfully killing Chihiro.

It would be a horrifying moment. Angry and frightened shots being thrown his way, accusing him of getting them all killed. And Taka doesn’t remember it, doesn’t believe he could ever do something like that. He would never, right? He’s not like his grandfather, he’s not a bad person. He would never hurt anyone for selfish gain.

And yet here he is, being accused for a crime he honestly cannot remember. 

Monokuma, the monster he is, wouldn’t let that stand. Of COURSE he’d show the video, show Taka desperately pounding a dumbell into Chihiro’s skill, slamming it down until he’s sure the smaller boy is dead. Making sure everyone gets a good long look at that once white uniform stained red.

[cursedcataclysm]

I should be doing my APUSH work right now but if I have to read one more sentence about Columbus I will tear out my own eyeballs so-

Summer Camp AU

feat. Dream Team, BBH, Sleepy Bois, Tommy and Tubbo, Fundy and Eret

DREAM 

One of the boy’s cabins counselors, helps out at the waterfront sometimes

Has this white snapback hat with a black smiley face embroidered on the front, refuses to take it off, somehow never gets dirty

Also this lime green sweatshirt, he wears it around his waist if it gets too hot though

Often paired with George as co-counselors, they’re absolutely chaotic together but surprisingly good at leading the campers, they’ve got the whole play-fighting dynamic going on and nobody is really sure if they’re dating or not, they wear each other’s clothes so often they just share a dresser at this point

Whenever there’s a spider or a bug in the cabin Dream is the designated one to kill it (or take it outside)

Actually really close friends with Techno but they have a whole fake rivalry going on at camp for the ✨ drama  ✨ (not really, they just got in an argument once and it spread across the entire camp, now it’s basically just part of camp lore that they’re ‘enemies’)

They play it up a ton at camp events and team games, but they almost always sneak out to the docks at midnight after and talk for hours

Dream and Sapnap together almost always means trouble

They’ve been friends for as long as anyone can remember

The shenanigans they get up to usually ends with them both on kitchen duty

Loves climbing trees?? Can be found just chilling in trees sometimes

Known for being a really cool camp counselor though, intimidatingly tall and won’t hesitate to step in when breaking up a fight or disagreement, has a way with kids

GEORGE

Also a boy’s counselor

George has these awful white sunglasses he won from an arcade on a staff trip, nobody has ever seen him without them, he wears them on his face when he’s in a bad mood (only Dream can talk to him without being ignored when this happens)

George is known for being a stickler for the rules, but surprisingly he’s often the counselor who starts the annual prank war, he somehow managed to dye Dream’s hair bright green in his sleep once 

A bit awkward with the campers, but he loosens up around Dream and Sapnap

Constantly steals Dream’s green sweatshirt

Makes Dream and Sapnap friendship bracelets once, is a flustered mess when he gives the bracelets to them, muttering excuses about them looking terrible because he’s colorblind, Dream and Sapnap wear them on their wrists at all times (even though the colors clash just a little bit) 

SAPNAP

Also a boy’s counselor, hosts the game nights in the main lodge every week

Has a white bandana tied around his forehead, Dream yanks it down over his eyes sometimes and they end up chasing each other around the camp for hours (and then they end up on kitchen duty, obviously)

KING of the ropes course

Spends most of his time there, actually

Ends up in the infirmary more times than he probably should after trying to do obstacles blindfolded or without a harness

Can and will carry a grudge for months on end

References a meme or vine every other sentence

Unironically wears crocs

Starts water balloon fights with Dream every opportunity he gets

Yells ‘parkour’ every time he does something cool on the ropes course, even if it’s not actually parkour

Loves giving out hugs, very physically affectionate, will sling his arm around your shoulders or punch you gently on the arm

Wrestles with Dream

Which leads to kitchen duty

BBH

In charge of sports/archery/rifle range

One of the nicest counselors, always chides the other staff (and campers, sometimes,) for cursing, helps out in the infirmary whenever he can

Campers trust him with their secrets, he knows a little bit about almost everyone but he’d never let any of it slip, he’s well aware of how important it is to the campers to have someone they can absolutely trust

Helps sort out disagreements between campers, he’s probably the best one with kids

Scarily good with a gun, holds most of the top camp records

Constantly reminding people to wear sunscreen, carries around three different types in his bag

Also a bunch of individually wrapped muffins, he gives them to campers if they want a snack

Definitely the worst at telling ghost stories

Has a lot of survival skills, will teach campers how to tie ten different types of knots in his free time

Only one who consistently wears his staff t-shirt

WILBUR

Everyone’s favorite counselor, at least according to him

Often paired with Techno

Grey beanie for the aesthetic, but also because his hair is absolutely a mess and if he shoves a hat on it it immediately looks better

Carries his guitar with him most of the time

Went through the ropes course one time with his guitar on him because of a dare

Really good at telling scary stories, but usually plays campfire songs on his guitar instead (sometimes with a kazoo if he’s in the right mood)

Absolutely torches his marshmallows and insists it’s the only right way to eat them, once ate a flaming marshmallow whole (for fun, apparently)

Coffee addict

Pretty much spends the entirety of breakfast at the coffee table

When Wilbur was a CIT he gets this black bandana from Philza, he never wears it but keeps it tied around his bed frame every summer, until one staff campfire when Tommy is a CIT. They’re all sitting around a fire and singing and joking around and Tommy surprises Wilbur when he knows all of the lyrics to one of Wilbur’s songs, and Wilbur impulsively gives Tommy the bandana (Tommy makes a joke about how it’s ‘rather plain, innit?’, Wilbur rolls his eyes and punches him on the arm, they both know how much it means to Tommy though)

Kind of sarcastic, mean in a nice way 

TECHNO

Technically a counselor but nobody knows where he is most of the time

Has pastel pink hair and will 100% help kids dye their hair too, but not before a long lecture about bleach damage and regret

Also a pink face mask (for fashion), only takes it off to eat or swim

The best at making friendship bracelets, it gives him something to do with his hands

Teaches the campers how to make friendship bracelets in the art cabin

Gives his closest friends a pink and black friendship bracelet (it’s not confirmed to be him, they just show up on your bed overnight, but everybody knows it’s Techno)

One legendary summer, Dream and Techno were paired as camp counselors for a cabin, the campers from that year all have matching pink and green bracelets, there’s still whispers about what went down then

A god at toasting his marshmallows to perfection, golden and crispy on all sides with just the right amount of melting

Gets the best care packages from home (so many cookies!!)

TOMMY

CIT with Tubbo

Only his second year at camp, but he hit it off really well with all the other staff and Philza so they offered him a position as CIT

(which he accepted, obviously)

Likes to claim it’s for all the free stuff and staff perks but secretly really wants to learn how to be a good counselor

Curses like a sailor though

BBH has to threaten to take away his access to the staff coffee table to get him to stop cursing as much around the campers

Chaotic gremlin, probably shouldn’t be put in charge of children

He’s actually very responsible when he needs to be though, likes to joke around a lot but looks out for the campers as much as possible

Self-proclaimed king of the gaga pit

Seriously, can hit the ball so hard he’s bruised some people a couple of times

Always covered in scratches and bruises and bandaids

A little too eager to throw a punch

Has a black bandana (from Wilbur) and wears it around his neck at all times, keeps it as clean as possible (even when he’s covered in dirt from various scuffles the bandana somehow stays clean)

Goes absolutely ham on a kazoo during sing alongs

Him and Tubbo sneak out one night and take a paddleboard out to the middle of the lake to look at the stars, the only reason they get caught is because Tommy falls off as they paddle back to shore, Philza yells at them for ten minutes straight but it’s worth it

Basically never wears his staff shirt

TUBBO

Also a CIT

Has been going to the camp for years

Brings his ukulele with him, sometimes he plays with Wilbur at campfires, loves sitting on the dock and playing random little tunes for the campers

Hangs out at the waterfront a lot

Volunteers for kitchen duty, surprisingly

He actually really likes cooking and hanging out with Fundy, whenever he and Bad are in the kitchen together they make muffins

Makes flower crowns!! Absolutely vibes while sitting in the fields, loves the bees, teaches campers how to weave flowers together

Lets Tommy drag him off into all of his shenanigans

Is definitely the type to laugh off insults

Very, very hard to anger but when he gets mad, he gets mad

He and Tommy have only had one disagreement ever at camp, it started with a screaming match for an hour at the waterfront, they ended up not talking for days. Wilbur’s never seen Tommy that quiet, and Eret watches Tubbo with concern when he just sits on the dock for hours, not moving. One night Tommy shows up at Wilbur’s cabin, covered in scrapes and blood in the pouring rain, he just starts crying and Wilbur carries him to the infirmary before finding Tubbo, the two finally talk for a couple of hours after BBH bandages up Tommy’s wounds, the next day they’re back to talking and laughing and causing chaos together like nothing ever happened

Tubbo still feels guilty about that

Loves hanging out with the campers, everyone is excited for when he’s an actual counselor

Wears his staff shirt most of the time, but it’s under his green flannel so you can’t really tell anyway

PHILZA

Camp director obviously

Basically a tired dad, wears a green and white bucket hat, has a fanny pack and will use it

Curses a lot but hides it from the campers

Constantly reminding everyone to wear their staff shirts even if nobody listens to him

Loves telling the campers embarrassing stories about Wilbur and Techno as often as he can

When giving Tommy a tour of the camp to prepare for being a CIT Tommy somehow manages to climb onto the roof of the dining hall, Philza has to hide his laughter while yelling at him to come down

Tommy just stands and yells “POGCHAMP” as loudly as he can, Wilbur records it on his phone and makes sure to send it to all the staff in the group chat

Refers to Wilbur and Techno as his ‘sons’

And eventually Tommy too

Also references vines and memes

ERET

Waterfront manager/lifeguard

Really chill vibes

Also makes pride friendship bracelets for the campers!! It’s kind of a tradition, if you come out to him you get a bracelet

You also can get a bracelet if you ask for one

Has a whistle, loves to sneak up on the other counselors and blow it as loud as he can

Brings a lawn flamingo to camp every year and stakes it outside of his cabin

Really close with Tubbo

Helps Bad in the infirmary sometimes

Also hangs out with Sapnap at the ropes course, loves climbing the rock wall and sitting on the top

One of the best counselors to go to for advice, along with BBH

BUDDY SYSTEM OR ELSE

You better have your buddy when he blows his whistle twice

Tubbo helps him organize the swim tests and give everyone the appropriate tag to hang on the buddy board

FUNDY

Fundy absolutely cannot be trusted as a counselor, so Philza sticks him in the kitchen as head of the kitchen crew

Fundy doesn’t actually mind, he doesn’t have to do much and he gets access to all of the snacks

Extremely chaotic when handing out snacks to the campers- sometimes he throws them, sometimes he just dumps them out into a pile on the ground, sometimes he hands them out individually, there’s no way to predict it

Needs at least 8 hours of sleep or several cups of coffee before he’s ready to interact with campers

Very sarcastic

Plays piano in the main hall sometimes

Bullies Tommy with Wilbur

A picture of him in a fox costume surfaced in the staff group chat and now everybody calls him a ‘furry’ 

He hates it

So much

Capture the flag games that go for days on end, Dream and George captaining a team against Wilbur and Techno, spies and sabotage and elaborate heists, Eret betraying his team during one of the games, water balloon skirmishes, color war but Intense Mode

Prank wars between the counselors and campers

Building epic pillow forts in the cabins and the counselors sneaking in snacks even though there’s not supposed to be food in the cabins

Just, so many possibilities

[maandags]

Can you please do hcs for Keith atla au where he is a earthbender and falls for a run away Royal female firebender reader?

Keith has always been very protective. be it of his family, friends, or his home; as a true and tried earthbender he feels like he has a duty of protection to his people 

this, of course, is merely a long winded way of saying he does not particularly like the fire nation.

Let Alone firebenders.

Let Alone Royal firebenders.

but you’re not an idiot, either.

you ran away for a reason, after all, didn’t you? you knew the horrors of what your father -- the Firelord -- is currently doing to the people of the Earth Kingdom in particular

and you wanted no part in it

in fact, you were on a journey to Ba Sing Se, where you’d hopefully find someone willing to listen who’d accept your help

you’d been keeping tabs. you knew about your father’s plans, knew who at the council table he trusted most and whose ideas he was most likely to follow, and you knew the way his advisors thought 

the decision to actually run away really had only followed after. an impulsive decision when you found you just couldn’t stand it anymore. you just had to go

so you kind of... did

you know you’re looked for everywhere

but once you got a change of clothes and cut your hair you knew people would have a hard time recognising you – especially since you never really got outside much, so not many people know what you actually look like, and it’s easy to hide your identity

so, naturally, when you stumble across Keith’s hometown on your way to Ba Sing Se, he’s suspicious, but just because he’s suspicious of everyone

doesn’t know you’re fire nation, let alone that you’re a firebender

however – he’s rude, harsh, nagging, and his brother Shiro pulls you aside one day and tells you that he usually doesn’t act like this, and he has no idea what’s gotten into him

you brush it off, laughing. “I’m an outsider, and we’re at war; I don’t blame him for being suspicious.” 

but it does bother you a bit

because yeah, you understand, but, like – you haven’t done anything to warrant this kind of treatment, you don’t think

and because you’ve never been particularly shy, you confront him about it

“what exactly is your problem with me?”

Keith, who had been practicing his bending, scowls. “I don’t have a problem with you.”

you scoff, leaning against a rock. “your attitude towards me strongly suggests otherwise.”

Keith crosses his arms. “why do you care, anyway? it’s not like you’re settling in here or anything. you’ll be gone soon enough, right?” thwack, against the ground. a pillar shoots up beside you, barely scraping against your skin. you merely glare back at him. 

“maybe I’ll stay. just to fuck with you.”

Keith rolls his eyes, but for the first time you see him smile. just a little bit.

after that, your interactions with Keith go a lot smoother. 

you didn’t intend to stay as long as you ended up doing, and you know it’s dangerous – your father is still looking for you, after all

you know staying this long is probably a bad idea, and yet you do it anyway

you try not to think too much about the reason why, though you know why, of course.

you spend your days with him, practically – help around his family’s farm, run errands, et caetera 

playful strangers grow into friends – and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about being more than that

but the longer you stay, the more restless you become.

half of you feels like you’re wasting time, like you should have been in Ba Sing Se by now; who knows what you’ve missed

the other half is screaming, fuck the war, fuck it all, you could just stay here and keep using this fake name and this fake identity and pretend everything is all right and maybe you’ll get to be happy for a while before you die

but that’s not you. that’s not who you are as a person. 

why did you run from the palace? your family? to live the rest of your life out in hiding in a small Earth Kingdom town, pretending the world isn’t on fire?

you’re going to have to leave eventually. not only just to get to Ba Sing Se quicker, but also to protect Keith

he has no idea!! poor boy has No Clue you could decimate him where he stands, because let’s face it; he’s a powerful earthbender, but you’ve been training since you were four with the very best teachers, sparring against opponents that would push you to your very limits, beating you down only for you to build yourself back up stronger than ever

it’s a harsh way of learning, and you wish you didn’t. but your skills are honed and it would be nothing but ignorant to deny them

and so, when the raid happens, part of you isn’t even surprised.

Keith jolts, eyes stormy. “Fire nation soldiers.”

you curse to yourself, gritting your teeth. “damn it.”

“stay home, Y/N. don’t hide. find money – that’s what they’re here for, anyway –”

you shake your head. “no, it’s not.” 

Keith blinks, just as the loudest of the soldiers shouts, “we know you’re here, Y/N! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” 

these aren’t ordinary soldiers. too chaotic, too energetic. bountyhunters. just as dangerous, just as deadly. 

you clench your jaw, turning back to Keith. his eyes are brewing with confusion, and you run a hand through your hair, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry, Keith. I should have known about this.” you did, a voice says. you did, and you still stayed.

“Y/N–” a fake name, the name you’ve been using on your journey; fake, fake, fake – “what are you talking about?”

“YOUR HIGHNESS! ARE YOU GOING TO LET THIS WHOLE TOWN BURN? WE WILL FIND YOU. IT WILL BE IN VAIN.” there are explosions, screaming, fire – flames, licking at the sides of buildings, crawling high into the sky… 

you cast one last look at Keith. his confusion has morphed into anger. betrayal. you understand; of course you do. 

it still hurts.

“I’m sorry.” you won’t even have time to grab your stuff. “keep them safe.”

he doesn’t respond, and you don’t give him time to respond as you tear across the street, letting your own fire free for the first time in weeks. a couple short, controlled bursts, aimed at the biggest and baddest hunter of them all – they don��t hurt him that much, but you hadn’t counted on that. you just needed to get their attention, which you did. 

in passing, you put out fires where you can, the technique one you’ve perfected over the years, to the point where you barely need to slow down as you race past burning houses, taking the flames with you as you run

and you steal a mount, and you just keep going and keep going, knowing they’ll come after you – burning a village is fun, but you’re the big prize, after all – and you hear them, and you keep going, keep going, keep going

eventually you lose them.

you spend that night in the forest, and you cry, scold yourself for being an idiot, cry some more. 

it won’t help. it won’t change anything. they all probably hate you by now, even though you tried to minimise the damage. you could have prevented it, if only you hadn’t been so selfish

well. you smile bitterly. once a spoiled royal brat, always a spoiled royal brat.

the next morning, you set off once more.

half a year later, the war is over. 

you got to Ba Sing Se in time. after some trouble, managed to get an audience with the King, and after even more trouble convinced him you truly were on his side; though you think he only really started to believe you when you almost got killed carrying out an intel collection mission to protect your partner.

(no more deaths on your conscience.)

the victory doesn’t feel as exhilarating as it should, even though (you’re not going to lie) it does feel pretty good

images of your past mistakes flash before your eyes. so many more lives you could have saved, with one choice only…

“Your Highness? the parade is waiting.”

ah, yes. the parade. 

“I’ll be right there.”

“the Earth King was very adamant on your presence.”

“just a moment.”

gathering your thoughts, preparing to fully become Y/N for the first time in a year. no more fighting, no more death. no more hiding.

the Earth King’s speech is moving. you let him speak on purpose, not wanting to take away from the Earth Kingdom victory. you’d expected more backlash from his announcement that he’ll be working to establish a solid relationship with the Fire Nation, which is currently under your rule (a role you assumed out of necessity, not desire for power), but the reactions seem to be fairly positive

the day floats by – or rather, you float through it. when, at the end of the day, you start making preparations to return to your own Nation, to start ruling as Firelord from its throne, a familiar voice calls your name, you freeze

“Y/N, eh?”

leaning against the wall stands Keith, looking only mildly impressed

you put on your most hautain expression. “that’s Firelord Y/N to you, boy.” 

he looks at you, conflict in his eyes, and you look at him, wondering if you crossed the line – 

but then he laughs, the sound like music to your ears, and something bursts in your chest as you join in.

“you seem to have made quite the impression.”

“indeed, it would seem that way.” 

his arms feel like home, in the best way possible. you sit side by side, catching up – you try to explain why you did what you did in the biggest possible lines, but you don’t know whether your point is getting across. 

if someone were to look out of their window right now, they would see the Firelord and some random man sitting with their backs against stone walls, shoulders pressed together, talking like equals.

you finally work up the courage to ask the question that’s been playing in your mind for months. “are you angry at me? for staying?” 

he sighs. “I was. right after you left. I felt used and lied to and betrayed. but I understand why you did it.” he smiles, nudges you with his elbow. “and, well. you ended the war, didn’t you? so it was worth it, in the end.”

you lean your head back, close your eyes. “how many people got hurt because of me?”

“there were some injuries, but none fatal. and you put out a majority of the fires before they could do too much damage.” you crack open an eye in surprise, and Keith laughs. “yeah, I saw that. you’re a powerful bender, Y/N.” 

“so are you.” 

“you fooled me for weeks.” you wince, but he doesn’t sound angry. when you sneak a sideways look at him, he’s staring right back at you. 

“I’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.”

“is it, though?” the guilt that you’d managed to suppress for a while now comes back in full force, and you rub the bridge of your nose. 

“at the moment, maybe not.” he shifts, and his fingers ghost over yours – you could swear they linger. “but I think you’ve made up for it.”

your mount is getting restless, and you pat his flank. “I know this is probably the worst reunion ever, but I really should get going. I have a whole Nation to rule.”

Keith’s eyes twinkle in the way you’ve since learned to adore. “you know what? I think you should stay.”

[windyskyes]

What if Deku was a girl and was AFOs daughter. But she didn’t know that an went to UA like normal. Shiggy, however, loves her and wants to bring her back with him (surprise adoption!) and be a good big bro. I find the interactions of “SISTER! JOIN ME!” And “IDK WHO YOU ARE PLEASE GO AWAY!” Are hilarious. She’s totally convinced that he’s just crazy and try’s to stay away from him. “SISTER! COME BACK WITH ME!” “Who’s that-“ “I don’t know him.” “IZUKU!” “I don’t know him.”

Aw, the idea of Deku as a girl is kind of adorable! I don’t think much would change early on as far as the base story goes, outside of their meeting at USJ as well as how the summer camp arc would go down... also, Shiggy being much more friendly with her at the mall incident lol

I got rather attached to this idea, so here’s that silly one-shot I mentioned based on it. I did this as a warmup between writing sessions for the next chapter of Paradigm Shift lol. (and to be clear, this is its own thing and isn’t an AU to PS :y)

At first, she was afraid when the villains abducted her from the summer camp training exercise. Why another attack, so soon after the first one? Were these villains enemies of All Might’s who had discovered her secret?!

Then, as she was pulled through a rather familiar-looking portal, Izuku finally recognized the man behind her abduction and groaned with despair. “Oh, not you again!”

Shigaraki was there waiting on the other side of the portal, practically bouncing on his barstool at the sight of her. He beamed behind the severed hand covering his face and exclaimed with delight, “Oh well done everyone! Well done! Welcome home, Zucchini-chan~!” Immediately, he spread his arms wide and went in for a crushing bear hug, pressing her face tight to his very distinctly unwashed shirt.

“Ugh, stop it with that stupid nickname! And when was the last time you took a shower?!” She gagged out, hardly able to breathe. This greasy maniac had been stalking and sending unwanted invitations to her asking that she join his merry band of hooligans because she bore some resemblance to their “shadow leader” nonstop since USJ, and now it seemed he had decided to forego asking and graduated to straight up kidnapping! God, why hadn’t she called the cops when she had the chance?!

Izuku flailed and struggled against the overgrown annoyance’s hold as the others quickly secured her hands in some kind of quirk suppression device, and her unwanted big brother finally plonked her down in a nearby chair. “Now, then...” the villain continued, hands on his hips, “What do you want your villain name to be, and what kind of costume design do you want to go for? I’m thinking more black and red, maybe with a killer bunny aesthetic if you wanna keep the hoodie.”

Izuku thudded her head back into the chair behind her as she stared up at the ceiling with a hiss of exasperation through puffed out cheeks, forcing herself to count to 10. This couldn’t be happening... why her, of all people?

With a harsh edge of irritation to her voice, she began to explain for the third time of what she was unfortunately certain would be many, “Okay. For the last time, I am of no relation to your stupid prankster ‘supervillain’ boss. Whoever you think I am, I’m just a normal hero student with a normal background. No secret villain relatives, at all!” When the man continued to look unconvinced, she stomped her foot and snapped, “Ugh, why won’t you leave me alone?! Why are you so obsessed with the idea that I’m some relative of your boss’s? I’ve told you a million times, I already have a loving family!”

Izuku felt some relief at the tears that sprung to Shigaraki’s eyes as he seemed to finally accept the reality of the situation, only for him to sob out, “She does accept us!! She thinks of us as family!”

Wait, what?!

Applause broke out among the assembly of villains, those not on board with the idea grinning maliciously at her discomfort as if it was the funniest slapstick routine in the world. “That settles it, you’re staying here with us from now on. I’m sure your mom won’t mind you staying with your dad for a bit, we’ll just have someone pop in to grab your things when she’s out of the house.” A bubble of panic began to rise in Deku’s chest; they really weren’t going to listen to reason, were they? And just because they’d gone out of their way to cause her no harm didn’t mean she was at all comfortable with one of these loons being in her house or around her mom!

“We’re keeping her?!” The girl who’d excitedly threatened her with a knife earlier squealed with delight, as if she’d just been told that the adorable puppy she’d brought in out of the rain for the night would be joining the family.

“No, no no no! H-Hold on!” Izuku exclaimed, alarm lacing her tone, “My dad’s just a normal salaryman, not a cult leader, honestly!”

“Exactly!” Shigaraki shrieked as he waved his arms, “It’s the perfect cover!”

Deku groaned and nearly broke her nose in an impulsive attempt to face-palm with the restraining device on. This was going to be a long, long night...

Throughout all of this, All For One said nothing on his side of the monitor. As the chaos on the other side of town unfolded, he just pinched the area where the bridge of his nose had once been and let out a tired sigh. From behind him, the doctor patted his shoulder sympathetically.

Maybe adopting Shigaraki had been a mistake, after all.

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

The Colors of my Soul(mates) [1]

[Second oneshot]

[AO3 link]

Kanene’s Notes:

Nope, I do not regret the pun. Okay, okay! I’ve plaining this AU for almost an year so I’m pretty excited to post it!! dfghjsdfrtyucfvgbhjv yaaaay!! Thank you very very much @olliedollie1204 for such a positive feedback and awesome ideas. it helped me a lot!! 

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Virgil, Logan, Patton and Roman (only a brief mention of Remy) in a platonic relationship (yet), but it can be viewed as romantic, if you wish. 

* Warnings: A bit of swearing and depreciative thoughts. It’s mostly fluff and hurt/comfort, tho.

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* Something around 4.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Say to someone important how much you love them, be safe, talk with the one that you love, drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

                           [~*~]

What can do a creature if not, between creatures, love?  - Carlos Drummond de Andrade

  - What the fu-

 Virgil only discovered he had more than one Soulmate when he was twenty years old, more specifically the exact moment he took a wrong turn and kept going even knowing he was in the wrong way because one hour it would lead him to somewhere Virgil would recognize before his mortal being inevitably starved to death in the middle of nowhere and his eyes got dragged from the visions from thousands of futures created by his mind to a Teddy Bear Store - they seemed to replicate worse than bacteria during Valentine’s Day - and two bears from the crimson shelter suddenly dyed themselves in two milliseconds as he slightly glanced at them.

 Two of them. Virgil felt his entire face burn in hot shades of embarrassment with drops of disbelief, almost as if all the people running, stumbling, locked in their own worlds and swearing while walked in the sideway because ‘some stupid teenager decided to just stop and block their way’ could, by only looking at him, stare deep into his soul and realize the one staring astonished the store already carried in his fate another one more Soulmate at home.

One completely different in shape and form, even if also blue, however in a light, sky blue completely opposite shade from the new navy one staring him down - Virgil knew plentily their link wasn’t bonded yet, albeit he was equally sure that the person behind those black glooming teddy bear’s eyes were already judging him, - wondering why, between all the people, he was their soulmate. The other red one was very much likely crackling in his face when an employee came and pointedly turn the adult’s attention to the sign in big, graphed words clued in front of their store:

 “You dye, you buy.”

 Virgil signed, pushing his hoodie down further, wondering how much time it would take of him hitting his head on the wall to finally pass out. This option sounded much more attractive when he realized that this new ‘discovery’ about himself would cost all his month’s saves.

 He asked, to the Universe, the stars, the Earth and whoever was seeing him in that exact moment: why?

 Was it a kind of prank? A punishment from fate when, years and tears ago, Virgil lifted his chin up and dared the Universe to give him more soulmates as he locked all his uncolored – although never really free of some weak drops of paint from what one day they came to be – simply stuffed animals, - and nothing more, anymore, - away and promised he would never, ever allow himself to go all through this shit again?

 But… That had been… years ago. Almost a decade since that soft voice he got to know so well, the impulsive acts, long conversations and warm feelings.

 But…

 Time has passed, that is true. Nevertheless, deep down has he really changed?

 Virgil stared at the bag carried so close to his chest since his bare hands were sweating and shaking way too much for this task. Yes, he knew his Soulmates won’t feel anything until both of them decided to ‘give the First Step’, accepting to link their souls and fates, for the longest as it lasts. However, he didn’t want to risk it, because what if they felt? What if he in some way broke the Soulmate System when got two at the same time and now everything was messed up and they could already feel his touches even through the bag and the first impression Virgil would gave to them was ‘That anxious, weird boy and his creepy, sweaty hands’ and-

 A girl almost hit him as she passed running at his side, making his arms protectively hug further the teddy bears closer to him, arms protectively involving them, the soft touch somehow calming his tumulted thoughts. The lost man took a deep breath.

 Clear your mind. Rational thoughts. Focus on the two sides of the coin. Three people wouldn’t be able to break a millennial, unknown system, don’t matter how good he was in screwin… No, a voice that sounded suspiciously a lot like his psychologist calmly pointed, not like that. Virgil huffed, trying again. He was a magnet of problems and bad…Okay, also wrong. Neutral thoughts, focus on neutral thoughts. Come on. Come on.

 It was okay.

 They wouldn’t feel him until they gave the first step. Right, that… sounded like a start. He didn’t do anything. Now, what Virgil needed to do was go to his house, clean his bed in order to find a good place where he could put and ignore them and then he would get his headphones, listen his playlists and wonder where the fuck his life was going.

 It was okay. Everything would stay okay as long as he didn’t give the First Step.

 Virgil unconsciously hugged tighter the teddy bears, his fingers finding way and drowning themselves in the soft, cozy fur, combing them in light, soothing touches as he continued his way.

 Okay. Everything was okay.

 [~*~]

 Plurinfanto, or Multiple Souls, it’s the nomination used for the cases when a person has diverse soulmates at the same time and in a same period.

 The first known case was with Pharaoh Cleopatra when multiples of her woolen fabric started to dye themselves in various colors and shades. In Ancient Roman, it was believed that the occurrences were blessings from Venus in a sign of prosperity and abundance. Grand, longstanding parties were executed through days nonstop in order to get together those intertwined souls. When the connection broke and the colors disappeared, it meant that days of pain and foreboding were waiting forward.

 It is not known for certain the exact moment when the meaning changed, albeit researchers believe it was around the fall of the Roman Empire, when all the invasions resulted in a cultural reconstruction which led to the loss from much of their costumes.

  CLICK HERE TO DISCOVER HOW TO HAVE THE SOULMATE OF YOUR DREAMS!!!!  

 [~*~]

 The computer made a soft ‘click’ as Virgil closed it and sat on his bed, adjusting slightly his position to stare the three vivid, brilliant stuffed beings contrasting to the general dark theme of his room.

 Virgil growled, resting his back on the cold wall, the shivers calming his flowing thoughts about all the variants this whole thing had. No to mention that people change with time, leading to the souls who they “relate” to change as well, meaning that you can have someone in your life for years and then, one month, or weeks or the next day, you can wake up only to discover you and the said person don’t “match” anymore.

 And NO ONE talked about this just because it was a freak tabu to doesn’t have ‘an only one soulmate who will be with you until the end of your existence’. Oh, for fuck sake. Virgil ran his hand through his hair, wincing when he accidently pulled some tangled strands. That sounds like a line of commercial, does anyone believe that bullshit for real?

 “Hello dear, newer fellow!!” The popping thought broke his line of reasoning, jumping excitedly in his mind and automatically pulling him out of his wanders. It has a strong and full of… about everything, tune demanding attention. Virgil felt a warm kiss on his forehead, meaning one soulmate – a deep part of him turned his attention to the red colored teddy bear, - had given the First Step. The one who in some moment changed his position so now he was sitting on the floor felt his face get hot again, heart thumping strongly in his chest as his arm moved, fingers stopping inches away from the fur, questioning if he was ready to retribute the gesture.

  [~*~]

 Many history icons have reports of being Pluriers, as shown in the book ‘The Romance in the History of Those Who Wrote It’, by historian Henry Senyura. The subject is also beginning to gain more visibility after the protest from the teacher Joan A. in 2010, who got touched towards the situation of some of her pupils being forced to choose only one among their Soulmates for the six-month annual exchange, by the end of that period most of them lost or weakened their bonding due lack of communication, small changes of personality and continuous absence. She held a protest at the front of the school, stating that no one had the right to interfere in ‘matters of the heart’.

 A lot of fiction works are beginning to address the topic more frequently, as in I’m Not One, a movie directed by Devon Stan; The Seven Colors of Rainbow, a book written by Lílian Lee and the psychological analysis Life’s Watch, recently found between drafts by the famous writer Robin Green, published after their husband’s authorization, Josué Green.

 [~*~]

 Logan hummed. As it seems, this was a relatively common thing, since the concept of Soul Mates surpassed the barriers of unity and time, being ‘souls who in a way or other intertwined themselves in some part of their life. Sometimes it didn’t necessarily mean a romantic relationship, as the majority of society and media pointed, but it also didn’t hold any assurance that all of them were platonic.

 He massaged the bridge of his nose. Remy wasn’t in the dorm so everything was silent enough for him to hear his own thoughts.

  It has been a remarkable amount of years since he got his last soulmates, - except for Remy, however they both considered this occurrence as a separate incident - well, until, of course, this day. At least it was a good thing he always carried in his bag extra easy manageable stuffed animals or else maybe the System would dye one of clothes, what would be less than ideal for him in the middle of his philosophy debate. But things got even more interesting when, after his classes, as he arrived at the small, pleasantly well-organized store next to his university, one more stuffed animal colored itself right before him.

 He didn’t exactly understand why. Logan considered himself an owner of a… quite strong, strict personality, this added with his difficulty in managing his and one another emotions usually tended to bring some complex tribulations in his rela-

 Anyway, that is beside the important matter. The one laying his chin on his crossed fingers undid his pose for a bite of time in order to adjust his glasses, barely fixating his gaze on the two plushies in the desk before him, his third – Pat - resting a few centimeters away, closer to Logan’s fingers, who were barely touching. Mind running. Asking, reflecting, wondering what was the exact amount of time to be acceptable to give his First Step?

 ‘The First Step’.

 Logan never really understood from where and how that expression emerged. It didn’t come from the words’ etymology nor some semantic detour. His most concrete hypothesis consisted of the phrase being derived from old romances.

 “Did you know it used to be called the ‘First Kiss’?! But that confused a lot of people who really believed that, to be able to talk and interact with their soulmates they would have to kiss each other, like the Sleeping Beauty! I always got confused in this movie when I was a child, by the way! That ended up messing with a bunch of relationships before they even started, since a lot of peeps don’t feel comfortable enough with strangers kissing them. However, they also speeded up a bunch of them as well…” Logan blinked, his attention escaping from his previous thoughts to the light sky blue plushie of Baby Yoda, for a moment surprised with the sudden input. He felt fingers carefully holding his arms and a bit of ghost movements as Pat probably moved his representation to somewhere else, a hug and warmth engulfing the one yet absolving the new information moments later.

 “That was… enlightening.” His voice danced across the room. Even though he was completely aware they could chat telepathically, the childish act of saying the words out loud still comforted him, in a way. “Thank you for your contribution.”

 He took a deep breath and closed the tab of research on his cellphone, internally thanking from the escaping of his turmoil of thoughts, his free hand carefully combing the Baby Yoda’s head fur, almost methodic.

 “Looo, no!” The other protested with no heat in his tune, leading a toothless smile to resurface in Logan’s features. “Stop doing this. You know I end up sleeping every time!”

 “Oh no, what a tragedy.” He deadpanned, already plugging his phones and changing to a most relaxed position on his chair, his eyes traveling across the countless movies on the device before him. “In which episode did we stop?”

 “I’m going to fight you.” Pat sounded like he was pouting.

 “How so?” Logan asked, trying to hide his amusement.

 Silence followed his words.

 “Pat?”

 “What is the skeleton’s favorite instrument?”

 “Pat, don’t you fucking da-”

 “Language! It’s a xiloBONE!”

 Logan audible growled, fast in his final decision. “I’m going to drop you out the window.”

  “I’m going to hug you!” And immediately the one rolling his eyes felt himself being squished in a strong bear hug, huffing only half annoyed.

 “You are an incorrigible heathen, let me go in this exact instant.” His answer was a ‘butterfly kiss’ – as Pat was fond in calling them – on his forehead. “Urg, affection.” Yet he smiled and mirrored the act, lightly poking the other’s side.

 “We’re on episode 19.”

  [~*~]  

Roman stared the paper, his pencil’s tip stopped in the middle of the biggest petal’s flower, his eyes narrowing in the hope of a clearest way of how to convert the vague idea he had in transforming the night full of stars in a flower. No to tell he also would need to choose a good pallet of colors indication for it, later, and probably re-do all the process over and over and over until got the best result as possible. A yawn found its way from his lips and the designer stretched, getting up to drink a bit of water and rubbing his eyes, wondering if it was really worth it to make a black tea to help him through the night.

 A glimpse of color caught his attention. The navy blue teddy bear on his couch, the main inspiration of his newest tattoo. Roman wondered why it wasn’t resting in front of him while he drew. A corner of his brain, obscured by the tiredness, telling he had a previous good reason for this choice although his actual self carried absolutely no idea of why.

 Well, if he couldn’t remember it, it means the reason wasn’t THAT good, right?

 Roman held the stuffed animal, spinning with it across the room for a couple of minutes, imagining who would be the person behind it. A king, a queen, a non-binary royalty? Did they like Disney? Musicals? Sing? Would they chat for hours at first with a few words exchanged or would they take a bit to warm at each other? Was navy blue their favorite color or…

 Or…

 Navy blue.

 Oh.

 He fixed his glare on the plushie, his hands feeling and slowly drawing in the soft fur of it.

 Navy blue, huh? A humorless chuckled flew in the air. It could have no significance, it could be a world of it. It probably didn’t mean what he, for a moment, a so silly, stupid moment, wished it meant. Of course, one day this would happen, right? It was something normal, something expected. Not the magical, right out of the story books or his old daydreams, occurrence.

 This wasn’t a second chance. The Universe doesn’t give you second chances. He wasn’t the same boy from eleven years ago, holding his own costumed teddy bear crying his eyes out, hugging he – No, it – the closest as possible, wishing with all his heart and soul for the color, the voice, the thoughts, the rambling, their bickering, the forgiveness to come back again.

 No, he grew up. He moved on. He got better.

 Then why did a part of him still felt this way? Like he was about to hear the excited giggles, the soft reprimand, that lovely, deep and so truly -and sometimes boring, Roman had to admit – questions? Why would a part of him still say that he could have it all again if he just… waited long enough, hoped high enough, dreamed long enough…

 …If he was enough.

There aren’t more than seven billion colors in the world. Roman would be stupid if he really believed there was a path where he wouldn’t stumble in that so (un)fortunate well-known shade of blue again.

 Roman growled, his forehead making a loud, dry thumping sound as hit his desk. The one who should be asleep hours ago had absolutely no energy to battle against those thoughts, again. At least for now. He rubbed his eyes and stared at the teddy bear laid on the cold tabletop before him. Well, what a better way to get rid of your own means thoughts than put some stranger’s unpredictable thoughts in the middle of it? Roman slightly pushed the bunch of flowers and some warmup sketches he had out of the way, carefully carrying the representation next to him, nodding. Honestly, that was the best idea he had for a while, why did he even put the lovely thing away?

 Awake Roman was so silly, thinking that… something he couldn’t quite recall right now would be a bad idea, he pointed as snorted softly, pressing his lips on the teddy’s forehead, the quote he knew by heart flying from them in a natural flow.

 “It is not immortal, since it’s flame. But let it be infinite while it lasts.”

 A warm sensation rested on his own forehead moments later, leading the sleepy form to hum happily.

 “Is it… poetry?” Oh shit, Roman widened his eyes. His soulmate heard that?? Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Roman mentally facepalmed himself. So that was why he usually said it before the First Step!

 “Uhh, yeah. Of course. Fidelity Sonnet by Vinícius Moraes.”

 “I see. Classicism, I presume. A literature of very soundly pleasant rhymes, indeed. The first sonnet was probably created by the humanist Italian poet Francesco Petrarca, although it got even more known in the western literature after the works of Camões, who- ”

 “He is from Modernism, actually.” Roman didn’t know why he suddenly sounded so defensive. Logan felt a cold feeling run his body when the other’s hands let go of him, for a piece of second wondering if it was supposed for him to do the same with the red narwhal plushie on his hold.

 “A very common mistake to make due the lack of context.” He retorted, unable to formulate another answer. He had, of course, thought, balanced options and chosen the best topics to discuss with his new soulmates when they bonded. However, his fingers firmly gripped the pen, its tip tapping on the first topic written in the notebook partially forgotten in front of him, the poetry figuratively threw him out of his tracks, leading the decision to be the most impartial as possible due his… not so impartial past memories with that specific shade of red an even more difficult task than it already was.

 “Yes. Sure. Sorry, I- I’m just… very tired right now.”

 “You should go sleep, then.”

 The other snorted with the direct, immediate response. “I should, shouldn’t I? Gotta work, though.”

 Some part of Logan’s brain registered the new fact, separating and keeping it in a special place so he would remember to write it down in the new folder he bought, later.

 “I see.” … poetry? That wasn’t a hard topic to talk about. The one now nervously cleaning the very clear lenses twisted his mouth. He could talk about this for hours. No, correction: he already had previously talked about this for hours non stop.

 Logan strangely felt the urge to rub his face and scream. It has been years, - eleven years and 10 months to be precise – and exactly eight years since the one wearing glasses learned poetry because of him. Because of his constant habit of reciting Shakespeare before they would go to bed, until Logan brought himself to research and decorate all the poems he could muster, taking the task to now wake Prince – the name still carried a strong taste in his tongue – in the same way every single day. Before they realize, that becomes something between them. There were times when both didn’t talk, content in only reciting some verses and hear the other complete them. A part of Logan, that illogical and unfortunately full of feelings one wondered how their rap battles would be if they found each other right now.

 Did Prince even maintain his liking the same things he one day did? Does he still recite poetry? Does he maintain the same dreams? The same habits?  Does he even remember about him?

 Highly improbable.

 “You can call me Lo.”

 Roman slowly blinked, getting out the fog surrounding his brain to realize he was mindless staring at the pan’s boiling water, surprised the other still there. Well, it seems like he hasn't screwed terribly everything yet.

 “Lo? Like Lowrance?”

 “Even though my name does contain ‘Lo’ in it, no. It’s ‘Lo’ like Logic. I came to believe it’s a good idea the nomination after a predominant characteristic, since we can’t actively exchange our real names through the Soulmate System.”

 Roman’s breath hitched, a memory with yellow-ish edges and nostalgic smell unrolling in front of him.

 …

 ‘I think we should choose you a name with more personality in it, ya know?’ He threw himself on his bed, kicking his legs on the air before immediately scoping the plushie and laying it on his stomach. ‘Like a characteristic!’

 ‘I don’t see what is wrong with the nickname I choose.’

 ‘No, no! There is nothing wrong with it! But that could be something just between us!’ Then he gasped, picturing that, if he was inside a movie there would be a lamp shining right above his hair in this moment. ‘We could call you Ro!! You wanted to be a robot, right?’

 His soulmate growled and Roman felt a few pokes on his arm, the verbal protest doesn’t taking long before accompanying it. ‘I was three years old!’

 ‘And I’m never letting you live this down.’ He beamed, both knowing the annoyed scoff he got as response held no real heat. ‘Besides, we could even match our names!!’

 ‘That would be very counterproductive.’ Roman felt his hair being softly smoothed, a usual indication the other was losing himself in his thoughts. ‘Nicknames are supposed to help us. Having two equal names is not the most efficient thing.’

 Roman dramatically scoffed, picking the stuffed animal and half hugging it, his free hand occupying itself in making a couple of gestures to no one, since his soulmate couldn’t exactly see them. ‘It’s not about being productive, Bear! It’s about feelings!!’

 ‘And since when,’ a light poke was delivered on his belly, making him squeak and mess with the teddy bear’s hair in revenge ‘Everything isn’t feelings for you, your highness?’

 …

 “Okay,” Roman and his self past disappearing with the fading memory said, in synchrony “You shall call me by Prince, then.”

 Suddenly he felt himself falling, his hands quickly holding on the tabletop as the cold, nauseous feeling took over his stomach, more like a punch on it, his veins being filled with amounts of adrenaline for a glimpse of a second.

 “Excuse me? Warn a guy next time you decide to just drop his representation, dude! Damn.” Roman shook himself, trying to bring his body to calm down.

 “Sorry, I got… startled.” Logan gulped. The word ‘Prince’ echoing on his mind as a broken vinyl disc. What were the chances? That couldn’t be such a common nickname, right? Nor color. Nor interests. What were the chances? What could be the chances? Maybe he was just projecting, being played, tricked by a dangerous partnership between his own brain and emotions. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions due the nostalgic feeling fogging his actions, his thoughts. Perhaps-

 “Hey, Lo? Are you there?”

 “Yes.” Logan answered, his fingertips colliding quickly with the fabric of his pants as he visualized his options. “Yes, I am.”

 “Hm. Okay, then. I’m… glad to know.”

 Silence. Logan took a wobbly breath.

 “Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back; Wherein he puts alms for oblivion; A great-size monster of ingratitudes:”

  “Those scraps are good deeds past; which are devour'd; As fast as they are made, forgot as soon.” Roman continued without even noticing until the words danced in the air, just like the years haven’t passed.

 Then he understood.

  His heart stopped for a second, his eyes widening and his voice disappearing, as if his whole being was afraid to break the moment, the spell; as if this was a dream and a miscalculate step would make everything fade.

 “Bear?” Roman felt a light poke on his cheek.

 “Hello, Prince.”

 Roman choked a laugh, quickly crawling the teddy bear next to his chest, hugging it both firmly and yet so caring, curling around its - no, him - feeling an equal warmth involve his form as he hided his face on the soft fur, giggling and hugging, feeling so happy, so alive and right and good and he would never, ever, ever again let him go.

 “I missed you, bitch. Never scare me like this again.”

 “I… missed you, as well.” Logan tried to not let the emotion take over his tune, his hand petting the narwhal plushie softly, the words had abandoning him, as it seems. “This reunion is a… good surprise.”

 “Oh, shut up, I know you’re having a blast somewhere in that logic soul of yours, too.”

 Logan huffed, grinning. “Stop crying on my hair, your troglodyte.”

 “Make me, I dare you.”

 “Always so dramatic.” They both rolled their eyes, letting the moment be bathed in the deep waters of a comfortable silence.

 “Eleven years.”

 “We have so, so much to talk about!! Oh, my goodness gracious, I’m going to get my tea. Do you remember about that play I wrote about zombie princes and a dragon witch? You will NOT fucking believe what happened with it!”

 “Good thing I have you to explain to me then.” Roman stopped, a gigantic smile taking over his features as he closed his eyes to feel everything even more.

 “Yeah, I agree.”

 Somewhere in the world Patton and Virgil smiled during their sleep, unable to control themselves when a gigantic wave of pure joy and delight filled every corner of their hearts, coloring it on the most brilliant gleam, just like their stuffed animals resting peacefully on their grip.

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[darlingsdevil]

The Ballads of Rebirth (Arthur Morgan x Reader)

Chapter 16: The Roll of A Dice

Masterlist

Tag list: @rollyjogerjones

Summary: The day has come. The scale will be tipped.

A/N: I may or may not have cried writing this. Like twice.

This the finale, but there will be an epilogue!The AU ending and AU epilogue will be posted separate, and after the original epilogue is finished.

I was really tempted to actually switch the endings and have the AU ending be the original ending.. but I decided to be nice to you guys and leave it as is.

•••

In your heart you knew the sacrifice you had to make. You could choose between Arthur, the man who had saved you, the man you had known your entire life, the one who knew you the most. Or Lee, the man who showed you kindness when you swore the world was against you, the man who learned to love you despite your history, the man who could give you everything you had ever wanted in life — peace.

It was a troubling choice. You didn’t want to pick, you dreaded it — but you knew that it was something you simply had to do.

“Lee.. can we go back to the apartment, I’m still tired from the hospital,” You asked him while you stayed in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity. Lee’s chest slowed with every breath, you could tell he was calming down. The rain continued relentlessly, your clothes were already soaked, and so was your face — it would have been if it weren’t raining regardless.

You felt Lee nod against your shoulder. He was tearing apart at the seams, and you knew it and he knew it. He was begging you to stay, and you were going to listen. This time you would.

He helped you get up, ever the gentleman.

The walk back to the apartment was solemn and silent, despite the sound of rain hitting the roads, and the vacant streets of Richfield seemed somehow even more empty. Neither of you were sure what to say, or perhaps it was the thought of cracking in front of the other. You felt like you had betrayed Lee in some way, and Lee could tell, that didn’t mean you couldn’t make things right. Lee needed you more than Arthur did. And as much as you wanted to run straight back to Arthur, you simply couldn’t, Lee could not stand on his own for much longer if you left. It hurt, badly, like even the thought of it would burn you inside out, starting from your heart and the thick tendrils of smoke would suffocate you. Love was strange like that.

Maybe it was a selfish thought, that if you had never met Lee all of this could be avoided. Arthur would have found you, and you would not have to go through this process of picking and choosing. You could live with Lee, it was true, but your heart would belong to Arthur. As much as you tried to convince yourself it didn’t, the way his face would appear in the crowds, or the convincing yourself that Arthur was a mere afterthought. But truth be told, you ran from the outlaw life, Arthur never left. You loved Lee, you did, you didn’t regret dating him, you simply dreamed of bypassing all this heartache.

When you finally arrived back at the store, Arthur had already left. You walked up the rickety old steps onto the top floor, remembering how it felt when Lee asked you out all those months ago. It was bittersweet.

But first you would sleep, somehow all that talking kept you awake, when in truth you were still bonetired. You were sure Lee was tired too. So much had happened in the last few days, yet it still felt so far away.

You went into the bathroom with a fresh change of clothes and stared into the mirror, examining each bandage and bruise. It was incredibly foolish and impulsive to leave like that. That wolf could have easily killed you.

When you changed and left the bathroom, you nearly collapsed into the bed, crawling over to your side. Lee sat on the edge of the bed facing away from you, his hands intertwined in his lap, in deep thought. You stared at him for a few moments before he sighed and fell back into the bed next to you.

He stared into your eyes for a moment, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to. He leaned over and kissed you softly, his thumb tracing your jawline.

“We’ll talk about the rest of this later, okay? I know we’re both tired.”

You nodded and pulled the blankets over both of you and nuzzled up to Lee. You could not shake the feeling of betrayal and pain, but at least in Lee’s arms it felt a little better.

•••

When you woke it was dark out. The lights were off in the apartment. You felt Lee beside you, your back to his chest. If you were quiet enough, you could say goodbye to Arthur. When you built up the courage to slide out of Lee’s arms, Lee shifted and you cursed yourself. You owed Arthur an apology, and a goodbye, but the thought of letting Lee know where you were going felt like a crime, like you weren’t supposed to be even speaking to Arthur anymore.

After a few moments, you decided it was safe to leave. You knew that Arthur was staying in town at the hotel on your street, but not the exact room.

You walked slowly over to the doorstep, the wood creaked and moaned underneath your feet. Every groan made you flinch, as you carefully made it to the door.

“Where are you going?” Lee asked from behind you. You froze at the sound of his groggy voice, and you slowly turned to him, afraid to confess. It felt wrong to lie to him, it felt wrong to sneak behind his back, but you knew it would be the right thing to let Arthur go.

You took a deep breath, your head bowed in shame, “I’m going to say goodbye to Arthur.”

Lee sat up straighter and cleared his throat. “Goodbye?” He asked.

“I can’t leave you, Lee.”

A part of Lee’s head was screaming to let you leave Arthur, but deep down he knew it wasn’t right. He wanted to be selfish, he wanted you all to himself, from now until the day he dies. He wanted you to choose him for the right reasons.

“You know I love you, right?” Lee said. You couldn’t see his face.

“I know.”

“I won’t force you to stay. I know you love Arthur. And I’ve accepted that.” Lee averted his eyes from your face, even though he couldn’t see you.

You leaned against the door, trying to calm yourself.

“You asked me to stay.”

“I did. But I know you want Arthur, as much as it hurts to say this, but I think you need to go with him.”

“I love you and Arthur,” You responded, trying to stop your voice from cracking.

“And Arthur had you first. I just can’t steal you from him like that.”

“You’re not stealing me from him, Lee. I want you.” You tried to convince yourself this was the truth, you wanted Lee, in some other world perhaps you could have gotten him with no complications, but in this one you couldn’t.

“I just.. I can’t have you choose me out of pity,” Lee told you.

Your silence was enough. He was right.

“Both of us have gotten the short end of the stick in this life.. and that’s why I won’t stop you from what you really want.”

“How do you know what I want?” You asked, your brow furrowed.

“I see the way you look at him. I saw you kiss him. I know you want him, (Y/N).” Lee got off the bed and hesitantly walked over to you, like each step closer to you would cause you to crumble. And it was true. The closer he got, the harder it was to contain your emotions.

“But I can’t leave you.” Lee was right in front of you, you could nearly feel his heartbeat, your chests almost touching.

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart. I will.” Lee broke your heart twice in one day. And you have broken his many times more.

“I’m so sorry, Lee. I never wanted this.” You felt weirdly shattered, almost like the pieces of yourself had already broken, but you were being put back together at the same time.

“I know.”

Lee leaned forward and gave you a comforting hug, his hands rubbing your back soothingly. Lee was kind enough like that. He was strong, he was caring, he was emotional, he was judgemental, he was silly, he was outspoken, he was open. Lee was the man who taught you to love again. Lee was a storm, and he was the calm summer days, the lapping of waves and sunrises. He taught you that love was a thing that always would come back to you, no matter how grim things look. Love never leaves, it starts as a seed in the cold winter, and grows in spring, blossoming in summer. Love is a cycle. Love is a new beginning. Love is rebirth.

“Thank you for teaching me what love is,” Lee said into your shoulder. You pulled away from him and stared into his dark brown eyes. In some way, you imagined Lee’s eyes would never leave you. Perhaps one day his laugh would, or the exact shade of his hair, but his eyes would be forever held in your heart as a reminder of the lessons he had taught you. Love was strange like that.

“I want you to keep something, Lee, as a reminder,” You said, pulling off the locket from your neck. You opened it and removed Lee and Arthur’s photo from it, and placed the necklace in his hand.

“I want you to put who you love in here. So they’ll stay with you forever. So you’ll never forget them,” You told him. He picked the locket up and examined it in his hand.

“Anastasia and my father and my mother.”

You smiled. “I’m sure they’re all proud of you.”

Lee smiled and nodded. “Thank you. But you need to get going soon, I’m sure Arthur is waiting.”

“I’m going to miss this place,” You proclaimed, resting your hand on the wooden doorway, feeling the old wood and chipped paint.

“Richfield or the general store?”

“Both.”

“They both have their charms.” There was something so natural between you and Lee, regardless of what had just happened.

“But I need to get going. It’s late,” You reminded him. Lee stepped away from you and gave you a bittersweet smile.

“Goodbye, (Y/N),” Lee spoke.

“Thank you, Lee. Goodbye.” You opened the door and walked out, down the steps to the first platform. Feeling your old life slip away from you again, this time you welcomed it with open arms. There were no more outlaws, there was simply you and Arthur now. But first, you needed to pay someone a visit.

You knocked on Mr. Rinascita’s door. “May I come in?”

“Yes,” You heard Lee’s father hum weakly. You opened the door and walked in, letting your eyes fall to Mr. Rinascita at the table reading a book. He looked even sicker than he had a few days before.

You weren’t sure where to start. “Mr. Rinascita.. I won’t be here to take care of Lee anymore.. so I have to leave that up to you,” You sighed.

“Lee told you then?” He asked.

You nodded, “He did. And he’s the reason you should keep fighting.”

“Then I’ll have to ask him to go the pharmacy tomorrow,” Mr. Rinascita claimed. You sighed a breath of relief.

“Thank you.. take care of your son for me, okay?” You asked him, walking backwards towards the door.

“I will. And goodbye Miss (L/N). Thank you for working for us.” You had expected some protest from Mr. Rinascita, but you didn’t complain at the lack of. You would miss Lee’s father. The wise old man.

When you walked down to the final step of the staircase, you felt like you could cry. The general store was a memory filled place, it almost felt like leaving the store was like leaving a friend. You walked over to the register and remembered Lee’s lips on yours when he kissed you. You took a candy off the dish next to the register and popped it in your mouth. When you made it to the door, you whispered a small goodbye, to the world you knew, and a hello to the one you were returning to.

•••

It wasn’t hard to find Arthur at the hotel. You knocked on his door and he let you in. You nearly jumped into his arms.

“Let’s go home, right now,” You said into his shoulder.

“You sure? What about Lee?” Arthur thought he had heard you wrong.

“Lee wanted me to go with you. And I want to go with you.”

“You do?” Arthur pulled away, looking at you with confusion in his face.

“Of course I do, you big oaf.” You giggled.

“Then let’s go, right now. I don’t want to wait any longer. Was starting to get sick of this city,” Arthur exclaimed, neither of you unable to hide your excitement.

•••

The next day you were boarding a train to Valentine, a city you had never thought you would be returning to. Lee had brought your stuff to the hotel so you could pick them up when you left.

The platform was crowded when you arrived. The chatter of families and businessmen alike was loud. Arthur held your hand tightly, like he was afraid to lose you again. But this time he wouldn’t. You would make sure of it.

The conductor shouted all aboard and the passengers began to enter the train. A lot of the people in the crowd were still waiting for the second train to arrive, so truly, your train wasn’t crowded at all. Arthur and you found a seat, with you taking the window.

After a few moments, the train began. You looked out into the crowd and noticed a familiar face. Even in a crowd of hundreds you could still spot him. Lee smiled at you knowingly and waved as the train moved quicker and quicker. You waved back, wishing Lee all the best. In some other life, you imagined there was a version that did end up with Lee, an ending that came with little complications. You would have married Lee, had children, and have your children work at the store, and one day they would continue your and Lee’s legacy there, or perhaps start one of their own.

You loved Lee, you truly did. And wished him only the best things in life, Lee deserved it.

The further the train went from Richfield, the more you dreamed of the life you would have with Arthur, the one you had always wanted. You never wanted to escape Arthur, you only wanted to escape that life, and you welcomed the city life with open arms, but now you were where you were supposed to be. With the man you had vowed yourself to a year ago.

That life you had lived such a few hours ago felt much more distant now, as if every mile was pushing that memory further and further away.

Hours passed, and you leaned against Arthur’s shoulder while he scribbled in his journal. The sun was setting to the west. Sunsets belonged to you and Arthur. Just like nearly everything had. From now until forever, from sickness and in health, Arthur was yours.

•••

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Beneath an Aurora Sky ch. 16

Summary: The South Pole Station is equipped for research and Edge has always made sure things run smoothly for the inhabitants. His charges are meant to follow his rules and regulations, and in turn, he makes sure they survive in the arctic temperatures. It takes plenty of hard work and determination and Edge, along with his crew, can handle both.

He wasn’t counting on one of the newest researchers. He wasn’t expecting Rus.

Tags: Spicyhoney, First Time, Arctic AU, Hurt/Comfort

~~*~~

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven | Chapter Twelve

Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15

~~*~~

Read Chapter 16 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Edge didn’t recall falling asleep. One moment he was holding Rus, quietly absorbed with the feel of him in his arms and the next Edge was waking with the bed next to him empty. Rus was gone.

He sighed and rolled over onto his back. It wasn’t unexpected, Edge told himself. Rus had been more than clear that he hadn’t yet forgiven, even if he’d been wanting the comfort of an embrace. That alone was more than Edge dared hope for and if at the end of Rus’s contract they parted as friends, it would be enough. It would. Perhaps Rus would even send him emails with pictures of other skies he was under. Out there in places where auroras were traded for sunshine, other places with other people, the entire world on offer to him.

The room with his few possessions carefully organized around him seemed to mock him with its emptiness, his single photograph of the others at the station silent in its frame.

It was a ridiculous notion and he pushed it aside. He’d been more than content with his life before Rus arrived here, he would be fine when Rus left. There was plenty to be done at the station, always, and new groups would come here as well. Ones that didn’t bring troublesome astronomers into his small place in the world to interrupt his peaceful life.

Then the bathroom door opened, Rus stepping back out and Edge’s resolutions went winging out into the snowdrifts. There were still faint circles under his sockets, his clothing was rumpled from being slept in. He looked lovely and Edge was struck with the impulse to pull him back into the bed, to kiss away his protests and hold him close again.

He ruthlessly suppressed it. Where they went from here was a choice he was leaving entirely to Rus and Edge would follow his lead, nevermind the faint ache in his soul.

“hey,” Rus raised a hand in a little wave, smiling awkwardly. “sorry, i was thirsty”

Edge nodded like the fool he was showing himself to be; of course that was it, there were passing few other reasons for Rus to be in his bathroom.

The only chair in his room was at the desk and Rus gave it a glance before stepping over to sit on the side of the bed, that lingering awkwardness still prominent. It was painful to see; even from the beginning when there was antagonism between them, there was never this discomfiture. “my numbers are probably done compiling. for my research.”

“All right.” Edge wasn’t sure what else to say, almost afraid of what he might say if he gave his mouth free rein. If he might ask Rus to stay here, with him, at least until the ship returned, to allow him that much.

Rus kept his gaze firmly on his own hands. "listen. i'm not gonna lie, i really like you. but. um.”

And here it was. Rus would list all the reasons they shouldn't do this; he couldn’t forgive Edge for his distrust or he did forgive him and still didn’t want to be with him, or he didn't have the time to interrupt his research, or he did have the time but the effort was too much. Perhaps he had someone waiting for him back home and why wouldn’t he? Rus was warm and kind, exuberant and sweetly charming. Even if he didn't have someone waiting, being alone might well be preferable to being with Edge, who was distrusting and emotionally unavailable and distant, all things that made him terrible even as a temporary partner.

Any of that would be perfectly reasonable. All of it.

"It's all right,” Edge told him calmly. If nothing else, years in the guard taught him how to shield his emotions, to only allow others to see what he wanted them to.

Rus blinked, his pale eye lights skittering to meet Edge’s with visible confusion in them. "what? what's all right?"

"It’s all right,” Edge repeated doggedly. “I won't interfere with your work. I'll ensure you have everything you need, any help at all. I understand it would be awkward for you to choose any of us as guides, but whoever you feel most comfortable with I’ll assign to help." Perhaps Undyne would be best, although he would need to have a firm discussion with her on the importance of keeping things professional.

Rus blinked again, too hard and too many times, and his voice was thin as he asked, "you're dumping me?"

"What…no!” Edge sat up hurriedly and a blossom of hope in his chest forced its way through his restraint. Rus was biting the tip of his tongue and Edge touched his cheekbone softly, urging him to stop. “Rus, I…I didn't realize I had anything left to lose with you."

Rus offered him a wobbly smile. "yeah, well." He rolled his eye lights heavenward, blowing out a sharp breath. “look, if you promise to try trusting me a little, i’ll promise to answer any questions you guys ask honestly. no more teasing. anything else, well, we can work on it. maybe. if you want."

Edge nodded jerkily. It was more than he dared hope for.

Rus’s smile firmed, quirking up at one corner. “promise? cross your soul?”

He made a little ‘x’ over his sternum with one finger and Edge repeated the gesture without hesitation. “Can I ask a question now?”

Rus’s sockets narrowed. “yeah, okay.”

“Can I kiss you?”

That earned him a smile, his real smile and Edge was helpless against it. "you’re really hard to stay mad at, boss.”

Thank the angel for that. He drew Rus down and if the first press of his mouth was hesitant, the second was warmer, easier, and by the third Edge wasn’t thinking of anything except Rus in his arms.

~~*~~

Afterward, they ended up cramped together in his small bathroom, washing up as best they could from the sink because Edge was out of shower tokens.

“if you stay in my room tonight, we can share my shower,” Rus said teasingly. There was enough doubt underlying it to make Edge wince inwardly. Whatever happened in Rus’s past that was so damaging to his self-confidence, Edge did not know, but he was determined not to allow it to interfere, if he could.

“My bed is bigger, but I don't mind sleeping close.”

“cheeky,” Rus murmured, but he was smiling and he took a soft kiss before turning away.

They went to dinner together and every head at the table swung in their direction as they walked in, hand in hand. Including Bonnie, who was serving, and Undyne at the end up the table, whose single eyebrow climbed up her forehead as she took in the sight. The intensity of those stares sent Rus back a step, colliding with Edge who reached out to steady him.

“uh, hi?” Rus tried, hesitantly. The confusion on his face was blatant; obviously he hadn’t been the one talking to other scientists about his woes. “how’s the grub tonight?”

“Excellent, as always,” said one of the glaciologists. She signed along with the words, accidently exchanging words, but Bonnie wasn’t watching. Her narrow, scarred gaze was on Edge, measuring him wordlessly, to the point he nearly expected to feel a Check wash over him. He met her gaze evenly. He’d made a mistake, they all had, but Rus’s forgiveness was his to give.

In the end, she only harrumphed loudly and went back to the kitchen. It would probably be worth talking to her in private, if only to save his breakfast. His practical side pointed out that Bonnie would hopeful be with them long after Rus was gone, their relationship was not one Edge could afford to sacrifice.

For the moment, practicality could go hang.

The bench creaked as Undyne stood up from the table, her boots treading heavily as she marched over. Rus was taller than her by far but he still shrank back, sockets going wide.

“Listen,” Undyne propped both hands on her hips. “I’m sorry about the way all that shit went down, but I know apologies are cheap. So to make it up to you, I’m gonna let you hit me.”

Edge doubted that statement had the effect Undyne intended. Rus’s sockets went wide, his pale eye lights the size of golf balls. He took a step back, directly into Edge again and this time nearly sent them both to the floor. Edge caught hold of the door jam, steadying them both.

“hit you??” Rus squeaked out. He all but danced from foot to foot, hands twisting together anxiously.

“Yep. Give me a good one, anywhere you want, just keep it above the belt.” Undyne screwed up her face, braced for an upcoming blow.

Helplessly, Rus looked from Edge to the scientists and back, but Edge could only shrug. This wasn’t his call. The crowd at the table was even less useful. They sat riveted, glued on the scene as if it were a particularly good television movie. Finally, Rus tried, “undyne, i don’t want to hit you!”

Undyne’s good eye cracked open. “Don’t worry, I can take it. Pop me a good one, fashion victim.”

Rus looked down at his hand, curling it weakly into a fist, then let it fall loose with a laugh, “okay, stop it, i’m not gonna hit you. apology accepted, no fisticuffs required.”

For her part, Undyne almost seemed disappointed. “You sure? Some people would give their left nut for a chance to give me a free slug.”

“last i checked, i don’t have a rightie or a leftie, so yeah, i’m sure.” Rus said dryly. “i’m great for allergies, completely nut-free.”

“I’m not sure I'd go that far,” Edge murmured. Innocent was not a look he wore well, but he gave it his best attempt when Rus swung around to glare at him.

“All right, but there’s only one other way to do this.” Rus tried to scramble back but it was too late. Undyne took hold of him and lifted him off his feet in a rough hug, Rus squawking and flailing before he gave in to the inevitable, hanging limp in her probably a tad too firm embrace. When she finally set him back on his feet, Edge caught him before he could sag to the ground, bones gone noodly and his eye lights swirling.

Undyne turned back to the table, noticing the stares of the others for the first time and scowled ferociously, barking out, “Don’t you all have anything better to do?”

“Are you kidding, we haven’t had cable in weeks.” Came from the source Edge expected least, the snooty older man, the Geologist who’d so often seemed dismissive of Rus’s credentials. His smile was small but sincere. “Besides, this is better than Netflix.” A titter of laughter rounded the table,

“Yeah, yeah,” Undyne scoffed. “C’mon, food’s getting cold. Dish up!” She strode back over to the table and sat hard on enough on the bench to lift the others sitting on it a couple of inches.

Edge and Rus joined the others at the table, taking plates of their own, and if it wasn’t quite the comfortable atmosphere of the last few weeks, it was still much better than the morning.

Red never came to dinner.

~~*~~

Once the meal was finished, Edge eating almost greedily of his first real meal since they’d come in from the storm that wasn’t burnt to charcoal, Undyne stood first, quickly scrubbing her plate and turning back to the group before any others could escape.

“All right, everyone,” Undyne barked. “I know you’re all as busy as a one-legged guy in an asskicking contest, but if you can carve out a couple hours, we’ve got a special treat in the rec center. It’s movie night and everyone's invited!”

A low murmur went around the table and Edge could only be included in their surprise. They’d never done anything like this before, but then, there were many things going on with this group that weren’t the norm. Next to him, Rus perked up with interest.

“sounds fun,” Rus said, standing up with his own plate. “count me in.” A few of the other researchers chimed in agreeably and Edge let them go ahead of him, hanging back with Undyne.

“When did you come up with this?” Edge murmured to her.

“I didn’t,” Undyne said flatly. “Alphys did. She was hoping to smooth things out with everyone, but looks like you and Rus already settled. So come on, let’s go before the good seats are gone.”

“I can’t.” Much as he hated to decline, his work has been getting neglected for a few days now. He needed to get things back on schedule and he needed to go find his brother. Whatever his reasons for skipping dinner, Red might feel better if he was aware that Rus was in a forgiving mood.

But Undyne caught his arm and held him back. “My honey felt so bad about what happened, she stepped out of her comfort zone to set this up. And if that doesn’t make you feel guilty enough,” Undyne went on, very low. “Rus is only here for a few more weeks. Kid forgave you and me, and we’ll need to work on Red. Let’s make sure he leaves with a fond memory and a smile on his face.”

Edge hesitated, torn. “That’s a low blow.”

“Maybe, but I’m not wrong. Come on.”

Undyne pulled him along and the drag in Edge’s steps was gone by the time Rus came back to him, his eye lights sparkling. Abruptly, Edge decided that Undyne was right. There was so little time he would have with Rus and plenty of time without him for paperwork. A lifetime’s worth.

Inside the rec room it became obvious that Bonnie kept very busy during dinner. There was a collection of mismatched bowls and pots brimming with popcorn, still warm and filling the air with the rich scent of melted butter. Piled alongside were actual boxes of candy like the kind from theaters, Junior Mints and Goobers, though where that came from Edge couldn’t fathom. It brought back memories, pleasant and otherwise. In the brief time they were on the surface before they came to the station, he and Undyne often went to the movies together, leaving Alphys and Red back at the small, dingy apartment that was all they could find. It was an extravagance they could scarcely afford, but the local theater was only a couple dollars and they could sneak in cheap boxes of candy from the nearby discount store.

Edge wasn’t generally one for candy and didn’t care at all for theater popcorn, coated in greasy, foul fake butter and yet, nostalgia struck him hard. Movies were an easy distraction in those days when he and Undyne could barely find anyone to employ a Monster, scrounging for enough coin to keep the four of them afloat. Spending an afternoon watching ridiculous car chases and explosions with the taste of candy that could barely be considered chocolate coating his mouth, letting reality drift away for a brief time before he returned home to once again attempt to scrub the ring from the tub. Escapism at its finest.

He only realized how long he’d been standing there staring when Rus asked, softly, “you okay?”

“Yes,” Edge said firmly, and selected a box of Raisinets.

Alphys was already there, smiling shyly at them all, and Undyne all but dove onto the sofa with her. On the other side of the sofa were the two glaciologists, honestly, Edge really did need to remember their names. He usually didn’t bother, the research groups came and went so quickly. They were both in pajamas and fluffy bathrobes, faces scrubbed clean and their hair pulled back. Alphys was wearing pajamas too, Edge realized with some amusement.

Less amusing was noticing that all the scientists sat strategically so the only place for Edge to sit was next to Rus. Who’d chosen a spot on the sofa, a large bowl of popcorn settled into his lap despite them having only just eaten dinner. The ploy was unsubtle and also unnecessary. He was more than happy to sit next to Rus, trying to keep the surprise from his face when Rus immediately curled up against him, spreading one of the soft throw blankets that were kept in the Rec Room over them both.

“What are we watching?” Edge tried to sound resigned but it was rather difficult with Rus snuggling into him.

“I got it!” Undyne scrambled up, blanket flying, and made a beeline to the television. “Figured this would be appropriate.”

She held up a case with ‘The Thing’ blazoned across it and a chorus of laughter and cheers filled the room.

Of course.

Edge didn’t care a whit for the movie. He only wanted to feel Rus close to him.

As it turned out, the movie was more interesting than he’d first expected and by the middle, Edge was absorbed, watching with breath held as the pilot began testing the blood of his companions, searching for the one who was the alien in disguise.

Interesting, yes, but not so much he couldn’t feel the fingertips easing up the inside of his thigh. Edge shifted slightly in an attempt to casually dissuade them, to no avail.

Rus’s expression was of one intent on the movie. The room was darkened and no one but Edge would be able to see the little smile playing at the corners of his mouth, the faint flush on his cheekbones as his hand wandered higher, palming Edge’s pubic symphysis through his pants. Coaxing a response that was not at all appropriate for being in a room full of people.

Well. This was an unexpected dilemma.

If he stood, he’d be treating the scientists to a rather obscene light show in his trousers, one that would only be more obvious in the dimness. Even if they didn’t understand what it meant, highly unlikely, he would, and so would the other Monsters in the room. The very idea was mortifying. Only the heavy blanket was protecting him now and there was no discreet way for him to prevent Rus’s surprisingly nimble fingers from unfastening his pants. All he could do was curse himself for not wearing a belt, the simplicity of a mere button and zipper were not enough to slow Rus.

Rus’s mouth barely moved as he said in a sly whisper, “keep quiet.”

A fine sentiment, but the surround sound system his brother installed was filling the room with explosions and alien shrieks, he was hardly worried about being overheard.

No, that wasn’t the point. The point was this was wrong, taking advantage of the ignorance of others to indulge in a voyeuristic tryst, and if Edge could speak without groaning, he would put a stop to it. Really. He would.

His breath caught audibly as Rus’s hand surrounded him, slim, bony fingers curling around his shaft. Hopefully all the others saw was the two of them sitting more or less chastely side by side. The blanket was innocently smooth, not so much as a wrinkle to reveal the sinuous twist of Rus’s wrist moving rhythmically, or so he hoped.

He flicked a glance around the room. Everyone was engrossed in the movie, not a single pair of eyes met his own...wait. Not a pair, a single eye on its own was focused on him. Undyne’s gaze and yet, instead of a knowing smirk, he found a rather flushed, desperate expression being cast his way. Next to her, Alphys appeared to be watching the movie with a large, fluffy blanket spread across both their laps and for all intents and purposes fully engrossed in watching as the alien was engulfed in flames. But Edge knew Alphys well enough to interpret that slight smile, the gleam in her eyes behind her glasses that was terribly similar to a cat who's gotten the cream, which was not a simile he needed to be thinking about at the moment.

Rus’s hand around him was moving faster, squeezing him tightly, fuck, he couldn’t—

Undyne coughed suddenly, loudly enough to garner attention, and while everyone was glancing at her, Edge squeezed his sockets shut and let his climax wash over him. Breath hissing softly between his teeth as he tried to keep from quivering to prevent the telltale rattle of bones from revealing them.

By the time he opened his sockets, the research center on the screen was caught in an explosion, the survivors sharing a bottle of alcohol between them as they despaired being unable to know if the other was alien. A fine ending even if Edge was going to have to rewatch the movie to see how it got there.

The others clapped and cheered as the credits rolled and Edge hastily fastened his trousers beneath the cover as they began to stand. Rus was rather impressively discreet, wiping his hand on the inside of the blanket and folding it over his arm to hide the stains, for all the world as if he was only chilly and wanted some extra warmth.

Less discreet was the way Rus silently flipped a G coin to Alphys. Who looked smug, the expression incongruous on her normally sweet face as she caught it with nary a fumble. Next to her, Undyne still seemed flushed from her ‘coughing’ spell, but there was no mistaking the awed affection in her gaze, turned firmly on Alphys.

“next time, i get to pick the movie,” Rus said lightly. Alphys’s grin widened.

“O-of course. If you think it will h-help.” She broke off on a squeak as Undyne scooped her up, walking determinedly out of the rec room in the direction of their quarters. The other scientists were gone as well, leaving behind a collection of empty popcorn bowls and scattered throw pillows tangled with blankets.

“think it’s on us to clean up—eep!” Rus yelped, scrabbling for Edge’s wrist far too late to stop him from sliding it into the front of his trousers. Edge wrapped his other arm around him from behind, holding him close even as Rus sagged against him, whimpering softly.

“I think if you’re going to make bets, you need to work harder on calculating the cost of losing,” Edge growled. If Rus had anything clever to say to that, it was swallowed in a moan that only deepened as Edge bent him over the back of the sofa.

From the sounds he soon coaxed from Rus, losing was well worth the price.

~~*~~

TBC

[smallblueandloud]

hi essbie!! you seem super awesome❤️❤️ if you would like to talk to me about the west wing i would love that! i’m watching for the first time now and i’m in LOVE with it- tell me all your thoughts! otps, favorite episodes, arcs, characters... anything!

oh my god, this is my FAVORITE ASK THAT I HAVE EVER RECEIVED EVER. i’m so happy to talk about the west wing because the fandom that’s still alive today seems to be TINY (although high-spirited!!). thank you for asking!! i will endeavor to talk a lot.... which isn’t hard for me, lol.

(psst, before we begin, can i recommend you check out @donnajosh, who posts gorgeous new gifsets of tww pretty regularly [and also has gifs tagged by episode so you can find the right post to reblog when you’re liveblogging, shh], @etraytin, who’s written some AMAZING multichaps that have gotten me through this very stressful week, and @cassiesinsanity, who’s just plain genuinely amazing?? okay. now that that’s out of the way.)

i tried to figure out from your blog where you are in the show, but i can’t find anything more detailed than “probably has finished in the shadow of two gunmen”, so i’m just gonna keep things anti-spoilers. there are some really, really cool plot developments in tww, and i don’t recommend you spoil yourself for things on purpose! but also like. i DEFINITELY spoil things for myself all the time. so what the hell, don’t listen to me lol.

(i tried to put this under a cut, but tumblr glitched. sorry, peeps who don’t care about the west wing. also, WATCH THE WEST WING.)

my ALL TIME, dearest headcanon is adhd josh. i just. i love my boy so much. i love my impulsive, ridiculously-sensitive-to-perceived-rejection, loud, hyperfixated boy so much. i don’t know everything about adhd, but from what i know josh is TEXTBOOK. or at least he’s a lot like me! and i’m reasonably sure i have adhd. so. i’m REALLY, REALLY into that headcanon and everything about it. (i actually wrote a fic in which i wrote him the way i see his adhd presenting, because i love him so much. hmm, i should write a fic about josh being adhd. what kind of stims would josh like??)

i love and adore josh/donna, like many many other people. i like zoey/charlie, just because i think they make each other happy and both of them deserve that. i... like cj/danny? sorta? i think they’re adorable, and they have some REALLY good moments (no spoilers but. oh my god. danny really out here chugging his respect women juice and i love him for it). but also i am EXTREMELY ATTACHED to cj/toby and more specifically cj/toby/andy.

HEAR ME OUT. cj has EXTREME wlw energy and cj and toby have A LOT of married energy but then toby and andy... love each other so much, it’s so clear, in literally everything they do, i don’t know if you’ve gotten to the end of s5 yet but i cry. so like?? obviously, because i am who i am, polyamory is the answer! basically the rundown is: andy and toby are a typical couple except that they fight a lot. cj is kinda in the middle. if gay marriage had been legal / socially acceptable in the 80s (because god knows this ot3 has been thinking about optics since they graduated college), cj and andy would’ve gotten married and toby would’ve come and gone depending on who he’d pissed off recently, and everything would’ve been perfect. instead, andy and toby got married and it didn’t work because they really just couldn’t function as a unit, especially since their getting married meant that cj isolated herself a bit more. definitely cj and toby have a couple of SCREAMING arguments about the whole relationship. idk.

but just like. imagine with me, if you will, cj and toby... not dating, while working in the white house, but being exes. friendly exes. friendly exes who are still in love with each other and know it. please imagine that and then think about “i love you desperately / i know” and “you wanna make out with me right now, don’t you? / well, when don’t i?” and “we had it good there for a while / yeah, we did” and then join me in the pit of sadness.

(sidenote i have a sense8 au for the west wing and the second story is just me being emotional about their cluster for 5k. i have another story vaguely planned that i’ll probably never write about the development of the ot3 and about their cluster and how it functions. but don’t read that story until you finish... the first half of s7? or thereabouts? actually probably you should finish the show before you read the sense8 au in general if you’re avoiding spoilers.)

(when i say “i’ll probably never write”, i mean “until the next time i get obsessed with the west wing”. which will probably be years from now. oh, well, we can all hope the muse actually does something efficient for once.)

so yeah. those are my ships. i know a lot of people shipped josh/sam, but i don’t really see it? sam always seemed Way Too Straight for that to work lol, although i DO like the idea of sam pining tragically for josh for years just like donna does. (can you tell i read such a winter’s day a few days ago? it’s amazing. i haven’t left a review yet because i have not been a human being recently, but go read it!! it’s awesome!!)

also, i love the idea of bartlet/abbey/leo, although i can’t really visualize it lol. but there’s some amazing fic for them out there. maybe one day my stupid brain will realize the angst potential and actually let me write something for them, hopefully within the sense8 au. (sam also has a cluster! and i would love to write about them! .....but my brain doesn’t do what i tell it to. ever.)

my favorite arc.... i don’t know. i really loved the early seasons, which were a little more episodic, but ALSO i actually really liked the tone after aaron sorkin left after s4? it takes some getting used to, but it’s WAY more emotional, and i am ALL HERE FOR THAT. i definitely have a least favoite arc, or at least a least-favorite way-that-they-handled-a-storyline (spoiler alert: i hated how they handled the end of bartlet’s presidency in the white house. like. SHE’S ALL ALONE IN THERE- anyways. trying not to give detailed spoilers!)

favorite episodes: hmm. i love the thanksgiving episodes. i loved any episode with the ainsley-and-sam dynamic. noel is a phenomenal episode. 26 could make anyone weep. the flashbacks are the best. the fucking- the fucking what’s next motif.

honestly, probably i’d have to say my favorite episode is either 4x20 (evidence of things not seen, for “stupidly noble cluster” reasons and cj/toby reasons and bartlet & charlie reasons. also i feel like there’s some good josh/donna there too but i can’t remember exactly?) or 7x21 (institutional memory, because i’m pretty sure the writers reached into my id and pulled out EXACTLY what i needed from them to be okay with the show ending. jesus CHRIST i have never felt so satisfied after an episode. literally everything i ever could have wanted happened in that episode. i’m STILL reeling. it’s a perfect episode.)

my favorite characters are... literally everyone? i know that’s cheating but i love them all SO MUCH (except mandy and amy, of course). josh is my favorite, always and forever, but i love cj more than words and sometimes i can’t breathe for love of toby. leo and bartlet and charlie and sam and donna- here i was thinking i was gonna resent will forever but i LOVE will. ainsley is an amazing woman. abbey is such a good character, god, talk about a flawed woman who’s allowed to be a good person.

AND THEN THEY MADE ME ROOT FOR A REPUBLICAN. again, i doubt you’ve gotten to s7, but the republican nominee in the last election... jesus christ. i love that man so much. arguably, i’m very biased, but also how D A R E they expect me to root against him. how DARE.

(i swear this will make more sense once you meet him. i just love the actor a lot, okay?)

anyways. this got ridiculously long. i would LOVE to talk about the west wing with you, feel free to reblog this with your own thoughts or tag me in your own post or message me or something. i would love to hear your reactions!! it’s such a good show, and such a smart show, and every character is so mcfreaking good at what they do and i adore it. enjoy the ride because there’s nothing as perfect and as quality as the west wing. if you’ll please excuse me, i’m going to go cry about 7x21 again.

[eskalations]

Smoke and Gunpowder, Chapter 3

A/N: This has been my favorite chapter to write so far!

Summary:

Even now, in the privacy of her room and away from the prying eyes of their government, he stiffened at her proximity. The careful lines drawn between the two of them seemed to blur at times like these when they were alone and out of uniform. In the dim light of her room, it was easy to imagine that they were just a quiet country boy and bold city girl again.

(ROYAI GENDERBEND AU)

AO3 | FFN

Tumblr: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Chapter Summary: Ray Hawkeye and Raina Mustang travel to Resembool to investigate rumors regarding two alchemists.

Resembool, East Area – Summer of 1910

To say she had given him quite a scare was an understatement.

After coming back to the small inn they were staying at for the night, Hawkeye had hoped for some quiet time to reflect. It wasn't every day that you came across a failed human transmutation and just the thought of it sent a wave of sickness through him. He needed to lie down, or read, or clean his guns – or something just to keep his mind off the terrifying scene.

It hadn't occurred to him that his superior officer was thinking the same. However - her methods of distraction tended to be a bit more dramatic than his.

By the time the clock struck midnight - he had read, in its entirety, the book he had brought for his journey on new age weaponry and had also cleaned and reassembled two of his firearms. Stretching his arms back behind his head, he had almost decided to turn in when the strangest feeling drove him to his feet.

Something was wrong.

Much like how his eyes were similar those of his namesake, his instincts were reliable as well. Such acute senses had made him an excellent candidate for sniper as well as an excellent candidate for bodyguard of one Miss Raina Mustang, the notorious Flame Alchemist.

It was a strangely vivid image of her – injured and bleeding – that had him tapping as calmly as possible on their shared door. Though he knew their reservations would cause some brows to raise, as the one who was tasked with her safety, he insisted that on the road he have access to her at all times.

On the other side of the door, he could hear something fall to the ground followed by a muttered curse. After a moment of shuffling, there was the sound of heavy footsteps before the door was pulled open to reveal his commanding officer.

Her appearance told him everything he needed to know about what she had been up to before he knocked.

Ray Hawkeye had seen Raina Mustang in many forms. He had been acquainted with the young, bright-eyed Miss Mustang for years before joining the military and had known her throughout the time that she was hailed as the Hero of Ishval. But another darker version he had become acquainted with was the one that was staring back at him right now.

This was the trauma-stricken, guilt-ridden Raina Mustang that he had become privy to after experiencing the horrors of war. The one that he would sometimes find passed out on the floor of her apartment from overindulgence when the pain got to be too much. The one who he had found more than once with a gun stuck in her mouth and eyes wide with fear, her finger trembling over the trigger. The one who had told him that if she could do it all over again, she would have left Ishval in a body bag.

The Lieutenant Colonel looked more like a guilty child now than a supposed war hero. She was out of uniform –jacket and pants thrown haphazardly across the bed, her boots thrown to the far side of the room – and her hair was tied up in a frizzy ponytail. The red silk pajama top she wore had a damp spot running down the center that also stained the leg of her matching pajama pants. An abandoned whiskey bottle, now staining the carpet of the inn's floor, seemed to be the culprit behind her frazzled appearance.

Hawkeye had trouble meeting her eyes when she was like this – when she was so vulnerable. Never had he imagined he would see the day when the spunky little city girl that his father had taken in would appear so broken. It was heartbreaking, really.

Raina opened her mouth - as if to plead her innocence – but closed it quickly. It was no use; he knew her far too well to fall for any of her charades.

The silence between them was heavy, neither knowing what to say.

What could you say?

Without attempting any type of scolding, the Second Lieutenant shouldered his way past her – leaving a surprised (and dizzy) young woman in his wake. Immediately, he went to take care of the discarded bottle that was leaking out on to the floor. Crouching down, he rubbed a finger over the now ruined carpet.

"They're going to make you pay for this."

At his dry words, the girl let out a humorless laugh. She stumbled her way over to the small couch in the corner of the room and unceremoniously sank into it. While she was doing this, he took the liberty of discarding the bottle and throwing it into the trash.

"That's the least of my worries." She remarked, her voice husky from the many drinks she had indulged in. There was a bit of self-loathing in her tone and a touch of shame in the way she raised her wrist to cover her dark eyes. "I've just tried to recruit an 11-year-old boy into the Amestrian Military - and you want to know the worst part?"

Hawkeye didn't have time to form an answer.

"He'll probably take me up on my offer!" There was a crazed edge to the slurred words, her glossy eyes meeting his as she released a puff of air that he imagined was supposed to be a laugh. "He'll probably take me up on it because of the false sense of hope I gave him."

Ray knew that he should let her rant, if simply to lessen the hurt she buried so deep within her heart. This was how these nights always ended up – her going off on drunken tangents while he calmly listened and waited for her to pass out from the alcohol. Her next words though had his blood running cold.

"This is just like what I did to you – this is why you followed me to Ishval."

At that, he couldn't remain silent.

"Sir," His voice brooked no room for argument, his careful steps leading him over to the side table where a pitcher of water sat. He didn't want her to see the pain clearly written across his features at her biting words. "I assure you that the decision to join the military and take part in Ishval – was mine and mine alone. Don't flatter yourself into thinking that you were the only reason I chose to go."

"I wasn't the only reason, but I was one of the reasons – right, Lieutenant?"

He could have cursed himself for his slip of words, but instead he chose to remain silent. In her state of drunkenness, she wouldn't even remember this encounter come early morning.

"I did not wake up today thinking I would be met with such horrors."

Hawkeye couldn't hide the grim look that appeared on his face at his commanding officer's words. His hand nearly shook as he poured the young woman a glass of water. He hated seeing her like this. Silence enveloped them as he brought the glass over to where she was seated on the couch. Her head was tossed back and eyes were closed – but it didn't matter, she sensed him. She accepted the offered glass with a sigh

It wasn't until he was sat on the chair across from her that he allowed the ironic response to escape his lips.

"That's quite a statement for a soldier." Raina gave him a withering look from over the rim of her glass. The young man shrugged, "You and I both know that as a soldier, anything can happen once we enter the battlefield."

"I wasn't expecting a battlefield." She reminded him, setting her drink down on the wooden coffee table between them. "I was expecting a middle-aged set of alchemists – not children playing God."

The Lieutenant tilted his head to the side, regarding her with a curious look.

For what it was worth, Raina Mustang was typically a logical person. He would never go so far to call her calm or collect – for she was not – in fact, she was quite impulsive. However, for all the rash decisions he had seen her make on the battlefield, holding a child up by the collar and demanding an explanation out of him was not an action he had really come to expect of her.

~

"Where are they?! Where are the Elric Brothers? I want them found!"

Her voice shook with anger, eyes wide in disbelief at the scene in front of her. She knew what this was. She was no fool. She had studied alchemy for a long time. She knew what these boys had tried to do – and it caused such a blind rage to build up within her that she felt as though she might explode.

How could a pair of children be so foolish?

At such a clear order - Hawkeye immediately about faced, leaving the house to gather more information. Which was easy, since everyone in town seemed to know the only other place the Elrics would be besides home.

The Lieutenant Colonel had busted through the door, shouldering past a surprised old woman. She would worry about manners later, all that was on her mind right now were these kids who apparently believed they had the right to tamper with fate.

Nothing could have prepared her for the sight that she was greeted by in the small automail workshop.

A young boy sat in a wheelchair, blonde hair unkempt and eyes haunted with grief, missing both an arm and leg. By his side stood a tall suit of armor. Before she could even register that her legs were moving, she was standing over the trembling boy.

Grabbing a hold of his collar, the woman hauled him up so that they were eye to eye. Somewhere in the background, she could hear the disgruntled words of the elderly woman as well as a dog barking in warning. She didn't care. She needed answers.

"We went to your house and we saw the floor! What was that?! What did you do?!"

The boy's golden eyes stared pointedly at the ground – the shame radiating off of him near palpable. Before Raina could say anything else, a cold metal hand made contact with her arm.

"We're sorry…We didn't mean it." The voice sounded like that of a young child's, distorted by a hollow echoing that seemed to originate within the suit. "We're sorry…we're sorry….we're sorry."

The suit of armor began to shake, bringing forth another revelation.

"Wait are you - ?"

She didn't even have to finish her question. All she knew was that her information had been clear – there were two Elric brothers. That could only mean one thing.

She was looking at them.

~

"I was mad."

Her quiet voice brought him back from his reverie. In the dim light of the room, he could see the pain she held in those dark eyes. Staring up at the ceiling, she let out another short, humorless laugh.

"I could hardly believe two children could hold that much power." She revealed, turning her face towards him. Though her words were slurred, the thoughts she shared were strangely sober. "That much power at such a young age – it can destroy someone."

Hawkeye felt his back burn at her words. She was speaking from experience.

"That's why you want to give them the opportunity to repent." Raina's eyes widened in surprise. How did he always seem to know exactly what she was thinking? No matter how much emotional distance they put between themselves, it was like their minds were on one shared wavelength. "You don't want them to end up like us. You want them to be freed of their sins early on so that they have the chance to live."

She huffed. Of course, he had been able to read her so easily.

Looking at him now, it was hard to remember the quiet country boy she had come to know in her youth. He sat with his back straight – so professional even if he need not be – and still in uniform though he had already retired for the night. Even his hair now – once frizzy and bleached from the sun – was combed over to better fit the persona of a well put together soldier.

The only glimpse she could find of that once young, country-bred man was in his eyes – hard but honest. Just as they had always been.

That was Hawkeye – steady and true. So unlike her.

It was at times like these, when she found herself deep in the whiskey, that she remembered the reason why he no longer looked like that innocent man who had found her on his doorstep all those years ago.

It was because of her.

The guilt that engulfed her at that moment, almost had her reaching for the bottle again. If only he hadn't thrown it out when he invaded her room.

"Where did you get the whiskey?" He asked after watching her eyes drift to the trash bin beside the table. He knew better than to think she would pack some in her luggage for a day trip, especially when their job was supposed to be easy. Besides - with her luggage packed full of extra uniforms, extra gloves, and a wide array of unnecessary beauty products – he couldn't imagine that there was much room left for anything more.

Raina had the sense to look guilty at this.

"I may have given the innkeeper a few thousand cenz to procure it for me."

"Sir!"

"What?" She threw her hands up in mock defense. "I just wanted something to take the edge off! I didn't mean for it to get this bad."

Ray looked at her dubiously. She had never been one to casually drink – it was all or nothing for her. It was a bad habit she had picked up from his father. So desperate was she to impress the old man that she would often indulge right along with him to prove she was no delicate girl.

It was just another part of their lives his father had ruined.

"You don't want rumors going around that the youngest Lieutenant Colonel serving in the military is a good for nothing drunk."

"They say much worse." She insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. "With what they say about my bedroom activities – I would be honored if they demoted me to simple drunk."

He could hear the hurt in her voice as she said it. When sober, she tried to cover her distaste for the way people talked about her behind her back. It was only when she got deep in the bottle that she allowed herself to be completely honest.

She had dreams – dreams too big for a person her age that could only come true if she continued to rise in the ranks. The only way to do so was to go along with whatever persona people foisted on her. A flirty young girl was much less threatening than an ambitious one and she assumed within a few years, the words and assumptions wouldn't bother her so much. However, at just twenty-one years of age, she still had a lot to learn before she could become completely okay with the act she had decided to play.

Hawkeye's eyes held sympathy, though his voice was hard as he spoke.

"There would probably be less rumors if I stopped showing up at your apartment and hotel rooms in the middle of the night." Raina pouted at his words. The light on the table flickered in the tense air of the room.

"We don't have to be strangers." She muttered sadly, knowing that this argument never got her anywhere. Whether it was the events of the day or the booze, she pressed on further. "Friends go and check on friends. The fraternization laws say nothing about friendship."

Hawkeye gave her an exasperated look, his amber eyes smoldering in the dim light of the room.

"Friends don't end up in bed with their friends." He reasoned bluntly, standing from his chair. This conversation had gotten too personal – lines were being crossed. He shouldn't be here. "You know that what happened once, can't happen again. You and I have goals to fulfill – sins to repent for. If anyone ever finds out about what happened, it would be over for the both of us."

Raina knew what he said was true – still, it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Strangers it is then."

Those were the last words she said to him before he took his leave. Pausing at the door, he turned to regard her one last time.

"No more asking innkeepers for alcohol."

Then he was gone.

That night, as Ray Hawkeye lay in bed – he thought back to his conversation with the young Rockbell girl earlier that day.

~

"Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Her voice was quiet, unsure. "Have you ever had to shoot anyone?"

The man turned to regard her. She was a tiny little thing – though he supposed she was probably tall for her age. There was a distant look on her pretty features, her clear blue eyes staring at the floor as if she was afraid of knowing the answer.

He wouldn't sugarcoat it for her. He knew better than to hide the truth from a child. If they ever wanted this endless ring of violence to stop, they needed to start with the younger generation. The only way they could learn from the mistakes of their elders – was to be told of them first hand.

"Yes...I have," He answered her gently. He could see the young girl's pale hand grip her tray just a bit tighter.

"I hate what you soldiers do." Hawkeye was surprised by the venom in the seemingly sweet child's voice. "Soldiers like you are the reason my mom and dad left for the war and soldiers are the reason they're dead. And now you…now you're here to take Ed and Al away too."

'Ah,' he thought to himself. 'She's afraid of losing them in the same way she lost her parents.'

"If they go, that decision will be theirs and theirs alone." He began slowly, amber eyes gazing at the wall. He could see himself, years ago, fighting internally over the decision to join the military. "Yes. It's entirely up to them now."

He could remember how helpless he felt knowing that Raina had been shipped off to war – fresh out of the academy. How disgusted with himself he had felt when he found out what they had used her for – a human weapon.

"Whether to move forward or stay still…" All the hopes he had possessed to become an engineer and go off to school after the death of his father flew out the window the second Raina decided to join the military. He was faced with a decision then – to either watch from the sidelines or watch her back. He had chosen the second option.

"It's their choice, they choose their own path." Just like he did, the Elrics would have to make this decision themselves.

He heard a sigh come from the young Rockbell beside him. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he had almost forgotten she was there. Instead of the look of dejection she had given him earlier, her face was now morphed into an expression of genuine curiosity.

"Mr. Hawkeye," The name sent chills down his spine. It reminded him far too much of his father. Despite his distaste for the address, he tilted his head in her direction to signal that he was listening to what she had to say. "Why did you become a soldier?"

He supposed with the way he had been talking earlier, he shouldn't be surprised by her innocent question. She was harmless enough, so he felt like he could be honest with her.

"Because," His voice was quiet, just in case someone was listening. "There's someone I have to protect."

The answering look in the girl's eyes told him everything he needed to know.

She understood.

~

He turned over, listening for any sounds that may have signaled his traveling companion was still awake. They had an early train to catch in the morning and he knew that if she did not go to bed soon, he would have to practically knock down the door to get her up in the morning.

Thankfully, he heard nothing.

[sonxflight-a2]

☯ Gemstone Headcanons ║ @kathexismania​​​​​​​​​​ ☯

Agate: What or who will your muse protect with their life?

Given the fact he’s incredibly self-sacrificing, it can be pretty much anyone (that also can explain why he chose such a spectrum of professions in Modern AU rather than follow the path of his passed father in politics). But his beloved ones and family, either by blood or found one, will obviously be in the first place. This is one of the few matters he considers himself to be selfish about, as he knows he would rather take damage/die in order to save and thus nonetheless hurt them, but be certain they’ll remain alive.

Amazonite: How do they go about comforting or calming down others? Are they good at it?

Jack/Ryou’s way of comforting/calming down is mostly non-verbal, for he considers the words can do more harm than good when it comes to such matters, yet it doesn’t mean he won’t be able to give advice/reassurance once he sees the other is in need or straight out asks for it (his modesty will always demand him to firstly listen and then talk). His acute empathy serves to be a great assistance in it + nurtured wisdom allows him to say the right things, so he can be mostly good at it both in general and when it comes to the people, close to him.

Amethyst: Do they have a good intuition? If so, do they typically heed it or not?

Definitely so, and he’ll always make sure to heed to it rather than doubt it, as his sixth sense appears to be right about the most of matters, especially when it comes to the possible dangers (about which he can be both grateful and jaded with). Still, it doesn’t mean he can’t be an unheeding dumbass at times yet is luckily prone to make the right conclusions from life’s harsh lessons, no matter the verse. 

Apatite: Do they find it easy to communicate with new people, or do they avoid it as much as possible?

Despite Jack/Ryou having an undeniable introvert nature, it doesn’t exactly hard for him but certainly can be very wearisome, especially when he needs to make an effort to maintain his calmness if he feels it's tested (one of the reasons he initially couldn’t stand Hanzo’s impulsive nature in Modern AU as it totally drained him out, till they knew each other better and he grew somewhat adapted to it).

Aquamarine: How insightful are they?

His insightfulness will be related to the way he perceives his intuition + its strength will depend on how well he recognizes the situation or person (for example, when he hid the fake swords all over the desert, thus outwitting Aku while allegedly getting caught into his trap), even though he will nevertheless appear to grow more insightful as he/his mind will age.

Aventurine: Are they the opportunistic sort, or do they typically let chances slip by?

It would all depend on circumstances tbh, as one time Jack/Ryou can be resolute to take the immediate risk and at other will be prone to develop a solid plan, due to possible inability to solve the problem head-on. His both adaptive and steadfast character allows to explore either of such ways.

Blue Topaz: Are they the courageous sort? Do they find they can overcome obstacles in their way with relative ease?

Yes and no. He’s an obviously courageous, at times straight out bold type when it comes to the obstacles (both in actions and words; his pokerfaced ‘I fear no man’ he threw at Scotsman once he claimed him to be a coward + ‘Come get me’ catchphrase is more than enough to be a proof), but is more than aware his path is far from an effortless (he’s just not that kind of the man who’ll look for easy ways, which is both his blessing and the curse tbh).

Cat’s Eye: What sorts of things soothe them when they’re worked up?

Besides the quiet peaceful environment and tea? Anything he can get his hands to be busy with, without him being actually mindful about what he does due to having sufficient skill and motoric memory (for example, he tends to weave to soothe his mind / at times play electric koto in Modern AU once stressed) + quality time with his beloved one if he appears to have such (either sexual or not) as their presence is already enough to somehow soothe him.

Chalcedony: How do they consider their allies in regards to themself? Do they reach out to them, or do they typically keep to themself?

Most definitely keep to themself, not because of his pride but due to his protectiveness and unwillingness to burden/bother them with his own problems/distress (make them feel his pain if you’ll add his empathy here). Although, Jack/Ryou won’t deny the help once persuaded enough / knows the situation and believes it won’t go out from the control once he’ll accept it.

Citrine: How open are they to new ideas or cultures?

He’s very traditional while being rather open-minded as he treasures his culture and nonetheless respects the other ones he was lucky to be introduced to during the years of his training / his family’s journeys across the world in Modern AU when he was young. Moreover, his curiosity towards them allowed him to gain a sufficient amount of knowledge not only in foreign  languages (which he canonically knows over 5, including Greek, Russian, Mongolian and English) but about different traditions and customs in general (which played a significant role during his time as PSIA agent in Modern AU).

Diamond: Do they find themselves getting sick often or do they have a relatively strong immune system?

Absolutely has a strong immune system, while having a rather hard time once he will get sick. He’s either a feverish mess (which is very seldom but still present, especially in verses where his partial divinity is able to act up) or as healthy as a bull, there’s no in-between.

Diopside: Are they a creative person in any way? How so?

He’s musically-inclined regardless of the verse, both in vocal aspect (which demands me to provide an example of how I imagine his full singing voice to possibly sound like) and in relation to the musical instruments (koto & bamboo flute for main verse / electric koto & piano for Modern AU). He’s not a very good artist, however - most of his drawing skills are related to draftsmanship and calligraphy since the prior purpose of his training was to get a decent warrior, able to repel the demon and get back his homeland by oneself.

Emerald: Do they suffer from any sort of mental illness?

Obviously PTSD in relation to 5th season, Post-Aku, Modern and Akira verses + there are definitely some signs of masked depression in Modern AU.

Fluorite: Are they able to concentrate easily no matter where they are or do they need a quiet space with little distracts?

He’s very quick-witted and able to think on his feet, but still needs to get a better focus in some situations, thus enough quietness and detachment. His need for undistracted concentration will mostly relate to the circumstances when he needs to approach and overcome the obstacle/problem that seems to be completely new for him to solve (for example, when he sought the way to reach enchanted well, without being pierced by arrows of guarding it blind archers).

Garnet: What are they most passionate about and who are they most devoted to?

His goal/work/purpose and the ones he’s close with (family, friends, beloved ones, etc.). He’s very dedicated and loyal to either no matter the verse, and, even though his choice between them may appear to be obscure at first, he still tends to favor people over the ambition (there are so many times he sacrificed the chance to go back in time in order to help someone else, g d i  b o i).

Iolite: Are they financially responsible or do they tend to blow their money as soon as they have it?

Despite his family being the high-class individuals, Jack/Ryou isn’t attached to wealth yet not exactly a wasteful type either - that one kind of people who tend to live a rather modest yet at the same time quite an elegant life once circumstances allow it, even though he can manifest some of ‘rich people quirks’ in Modern AU (an example is him having his own special sort of jasmine tea which is cannot be obtained in ordinary supermarkets).

Jade: What are their opinions on luck? Do they believe in it?

He most likely believes it to be one whimsical force and relies on his strengths rather than the fortune intervention, even tho there were definitely the moments he considers to be nothing but its pure manifestation.

Jasper: What do they typically do to relax?

Same that he does in order to soothe oneself + meditation and cooking also seems to relax him once he has a necessary amount of time for either.

Kyanite: What is their temper like?

I often compare him to the ocean, as Jack/Ryou appears to be very patient and not so easy to irate, yet his temper can be incredibly devastating once he’s not able to contain a tsunami which is his repressed emotions, specifically his anger. In general, he’s an epitome of Bruce Lee’s quote about the nature of water ’...Now, water can flow or it can crash’, with addition it can also terribly burn you once boiled (aka he can endure a lot of bs, yet still has his limits and is wise to be mindful).

Lapis Lazuli: How aware are they of others and of their surroundings?

His awareness of the environment is mainly high, both in relation to his empathy and nonetheless acute senses. Jack/Ryou is exactly that kind of person who appears to be very seclusive and quiet, yet sees and hears everything and thus isn’t prone to be caught off-guard (while he also might be paradoxically oblivious when it comes to the other’s evident romantic interest in him lol).

Moonstone: What inspires them? Why?

His mentor and parental figures, either blood parent(s) (especially his father, who he considers to be his role model both in his main verse and Modern AU) or the one(s) he has in particular verse. Even though Jack/Ryou knows he’s his own person, he nevertheless looks up to them and tends to reminisce given by them life lessons once he’s in need of guidance/advice.

Onyx: How do they handle hostility from others, whether verbally or physically?

While he can tolerate verbal hostility more than well (thanks to the Scotsman), he tends to grow disgruntled and taciturn if he has to witness such behavior for too long (not to mention he’ll put the person at their place once it will overcome the limits of his patience) + when it comes to physical hostility, his combat skills are more than enough to cease such treatment. However, he won’t tolerate either of such once it witnessed in relation to his family/beloved ones and is prone to get protective of them no matter the situation (just imagine Ryou hearing as someone talks unfair shiet about Hanzo and straight out roasting them back while being completely unperturbed at the outside, he can and will do such no matter of verse).

Opal: Are they the emotional sort?

Not exactly. Jack/Ryou is obviously not an emotionless automaton (I would even say quite far from such if consider how actually gentle and soft he is), but tends to be very watchful towards his already restained feelings once he’s not comfortable/well-known with the environment, especially in the verses where he appears to be older than the age he found himself in the future (aka 25 years old). Once appearing in the company of the person he completely trusts to, however, there can be seen much more vibrant variety coming from him, even though he still doesn’t like to show his sorrow/anger openly.

Peridot: Are they open to new growth and change in any way, or are they resistant to it?

Certainly open. If he wasn’t able to grow and change in some of his aspects, he would never make this far in the future (for example, his temper was much more impulsive at the start of the series, but he grew to be patient the longer his journey went) and eventually defend Aku, same goes for all of his other verses.

Prehnite: Do they find it easy to recall their dreams or do they hardly remember them?

Dreams or nightmares are easy for him to remember once he has them. Jack/Ryou’s mind and memory are more than vibrant enough for him to have quite vivid visions and he can recall them pretty accurately if the other will ask about it, even tho he tends not to focus on.

Rose Quartz: Do they typically hold grudges? Are they the type to compromise as best they can during a conflict?

It really depends on the relationships Jack/Ryou has with the person and how heavy their fault towards him is. Some light misdeeds he can forgive without the actual confrontation and any grudges; others, heavier ones, may distant him away or even force him to cease any companionship he has with that person. If Jack considers the other his family/beloved one, however, he will always try to find out the actual reason for their misbehavior and at the end forgive them and/or make a compromise, no matter how hard and long it will require for his forgiveness to come (if it will be possible for Jack/Ryou to do this, of course; there are some things he can’t fully forgive even to people, dear for him).

Ruby: Do they typically keep their heart on their sleeve?

Only with his most close and trusted circle as Jack/Ryou knows he may not be afraid to seem vulnerable among them (even though ingrained reticence still can force him to be quite defensive, especially in Modern AU).

Rutile Quartz: Do they have a habit of looking for the source of a problem? Are they the type to attempt to solve it if they’re able, or do they try to avoid it?

He does seek the root of a problem and is persistent to try and solve it, especially when it comes to the important matters of people he treasures, yet nevertheless neglects his own troubles and is prone to avoid them if they’re not so significant.

Sapphire: What makes them happiest? Is there a reason why?

The stable and content wellbeing of his loved ones + the fact he knows he has an actual home where he’s waited and welcomed are sufficient to bring him serenity and peace in any verse, even when it lasts for a rather short while. He strives to reach at least some semblance of stability/be reassured he’ll reach it at one point, for it helps him to maintain the balance and is certain to turn either very restless or numb once there’s none of such reliance in his life (the sword and its significance, as well as its loss e.g.).

Smoky Quartz: How is their physical endurance? Are they the active sort of person or not?

His endurance is high no matter the verse + he’s clearly active sort of person and can’t stay completely immobile for too long, even when he needs his time in peace and quiet (except for the period when he’s asleep, of course, but even this is not so passive due to the fact he’s a fairly light sleeper).

Spinel: Are they a worry-wort or are they carefree?

Oh, definitely a worry-wort due to a number of reasons regardless of the verse, let him try and maintain enviable composure / appear to be unperturbed.

Tanzanite: Do they heal quickly or do bruises and cuts tend to heal slowly?

His regeneration is evidently much more accelerated than it for ordinary human no matter of the verse, even if there are still scars that remain after both relatively deep injuries and shallow cuts (the most evident and agonizingly gained one is located at the right side of his lower abdomen, which he sewed up himself both in 5th season’s verse and in Modern AU).

Tiger’s Eye: Are they self-confident or wracked with doubt?

Oddly enough or not, diffidence is his tragic flaw. The bitter truth is, even tho Jack/Ryou always tries to aid/emotionally support people close to him, he doesn’t actually believe in himself very much (just look what his conscience produced in 5th season  y e e s h) and is full of self-doubts despite him often claiming otherwise. That’s also one of many reasons he priors the others before him (’I believe in myself... because they believe in me’).

Topaz: Are they the type to cheer on others or do they prefer to be center stage?

He actually prefers to play an encouraging/supportive role, but still can accept the leading position and is able to handle it pretty well once necessary, thanks to his responsible solemn character (after all, he’s the prince/heir of the noble clan and had been raised as such).

Tourmaline: Are they the understanding sort or do they have trouble connecting with others?

He’s both, in a way that Jack/Ryou can be incredibly socially awkward (mostly relates to his main verse due to the differences in eras and his solitary tendencies) yet is surprisingly good when it comes to the understanding of others (his politeness and caution can also help when he needs to approach someone).

Turquoise: Do they strive for success or do they typically prefer to go with the flow?

Obviously strives for success in his own ‘watery’ way, cos again ‘water can flow or it can crash’ aka ‘if I can’t destroy the obstacle, I’ll find the other path or mean’ (same goes for his relationships; if he cannot make his beloved one change some of the aspects he’s somehow bothered with, then he’ll eventually accept them rather than remain stubborn and thus harmful).

Zircon: How wise are they?

Jack/Ryou is fairly wise, however, his wisdom manifests itself at its most high point in his Post-Aku verses (where he nevertheless has a sage mind despite remaining in the youthful body), while in Modern AU he claims to lack the necessary amount of such (tho I believe he’ll be prone to gain it over time as he will lean more towards his flexibility rather than obstinacy).

[vuelie-frost]

F2: How do we cope?

So I’m someone who has a moderate dose of anxiety in her life, which is being combatted through therapy, medication, & learning healthy coping mechanisms. I’m no expert, but I have some experience dealing with strong negative emotions. One strategy I’ve been recommended is asking yourself, in any given anxiety-riddled situation, “What’s the worst-case scenario that could happen?” This brings you out of your own head- out of hypotheticals- and into the concrete.

Don’t get me wrong, it can be painful to think about. But it can be helpful to see where our biggest fears lie. And if you’re interested in alleviating those strong negative emotions, it’s a necessary step.

I’ve said before that I’m trying to stay open-minded and optimistic about this movie. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have fears and concerns. For me personally, my biggest "worst that can happen” theories for the ending of Frozen 2 are:

- The sisters never see each other again (with a heart-shattering goodbye scene that makes us all inconsolable) - Elsa loses her humanity to become a spirit/goddess, essentially intangible and immortal - Elsa is no longer called “Queen Elsa” in the franchise, invalidating a huge historic part of her identity - Elsa doesn’t attend Anna’s coronation because she’s “too busy” doing other shit - Disney+ makes a spin-off TV series with Elsa going on adventures (just please... no.)

(please don’t chime in with what you guys think about those ideas, at least in this post, whether they’re right or wrong... that’s not the point.)

So what if any, if all, of these things happen? What next?

Stuff not to do (I mean, do whatever you want, but these probably won’t be very helpful)

- oversleeping as a defense mechanism - eating your feelings - drinking/using substances to numb pain - stew and ruminate on the internet with people who only get your sadness and anger riled up - spend all day on the internet - engage in maladaptive compulsive behaviors (oh, hello dermatillomania. great to see you again.) - completely avoid feeling your feelings - making impulse decisions (don’t go buy a car just because “Frozen 2 sucks, the world is meaningless.”) - rant to Jen/Chris/the creative team at Disney on Twitter (which is different from an honest review of the movie, which I’m sure they’d be more receptive to)

Stuff to do

1) Grieve the movie we longed for. 

This might sound dramatic and my inner critic is constantly chiding me with “It’s literally a movie for kids, why are you so bonded to it?” But that’s totally unhelpful here. It doesn’t matter why or how, but most of us in the fandom feel a deep connection to the first movie. It’s not exaggeration to say that IF the sequel crushes us, it could be emotionally devastating. Grief is complex, individualized, and weird to work through... but it’s real, and if it’s something we need to face in order to move forward,  2) Decide how tightly to hold onto the franchise. 

Something being canon doesn’t mean we have an obligation to internalize it. How many franchises before have whittled their stories down to C-rated TV shows and average spinoffs? Do we accept all of them wholeheartedly?

Granted, this is hard to write about because there’s a slight cognitive dissonance that has to happen for us to disbelieve the sequel of any story.  But regardless, determining your relationship to the narrative is a deeply personal choice- one that can’t be decided for you. If my worst-case scenarios happen for F2, I’m probably going to maintain my complete love for the first movie... and pretend the sequel is an AU. Or extrapolation. Accept that it exists as the canon progression, but reject its meaning in my life.

3) Get off the internet. 

This is probably the best possible thing to do when the online world is causing you strife and stress. Tumblr has a tendency to be an echo-chamber; I actually only recently rejoined after a long loooong hiatus for that reason. Despite what boomers want you to think, the internet’s not inherently toxic. But despite all its good, it’s also highly curated, completely biased, full of half-truths, and a fantastic vehicle for rumors.

Also realize that until November 22, anything and everything Frozen 2-related that’s released by Disney is going to make you psychoanalyze the content for clues on how to feel. We’ll all become obsessed, deranged Sherlocks in our own right. Don't let it consume you.

4) Creatively output your thoughts & feelings

Headcanons, AUs, derivative work, fan fiction, fan art all serve us well (and are way healthier than like, downing an entire chocolate cake in sadness.) I’m an artist and you bet your biscuits I’ll be sketching Elsa for weeks and WEEKS before & after the premiere. It’s just how I process things.

Another thing I’ve decided I’m going to do if any of my worst-case scenario fears are realized is: write letters to the sisters as if they were real people. Talk to them about the ending. Jen Lee kept journals writing to/from the girls when they were conceptualizing the movie; I think there’s merit in letting the characters speak for themselves.

5) Employ your favorite coping mechanisms

These are personal to you, but could include:

- meditation - working out or exercising - yoga - writing/drawing (see above point) - making coffee or tea & relax in bed with a book - talk to someone about it, bonus points if it’s someone in the “real world” - take a walk outside - use breathing exercises - take a hot bath or shower - clean your room/house/apartment - put on music - cook - play with a pet - do something with a friend Note that all of these have to do with the external world. Distraction doesn’t heal us by itself (which is why denial is a poor way of dealing with shit,) but it helps our brains reset in the background. It sets the rest of the world into perspective, so that we can more effectively face our negative emotions later.  Remember, there’s nothing wrong with putting off processing until you’ve done something helpful or enriching. “Listen brain, we can cry later, right now I’m going to bake pumpkin cookies and you can’t stop me.”

6) Remember story is told to connect us with the real world

The idea of escapism is a bit paradoxical, because in pursuing a fantasy world, we’re only working to realize our desires in the real world. The reason we love Frozen so much is because we want that kind of love in our own lives... and the fairy tale reminds us that it’s real. Idealized and sanitized by The Mouse, sure, but it’s real. 

It may be painful to acknowledge but: we don’t need Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, or Olaf in order to flourish. Fiction exists to affect us in the real world. Frozen is one story among many- MANY!- that have the potential to sculpt your own personal future. That’s not to say it doesn’t retain a deep meaningful significance for us. I’m going to hold the first movie in my heart forever, that I know for sure. But its reasons for being great are because it plants us in reality. Can you imagine a beautiful young woman with the ability to freeze ice? Maybe that’s not plausible. But an undying, fiercely loyal commitment between two women? Hell yeah. 7) Recognize idolization & parasocial relationships where they may be... and start to heal them

This is heavy stuff that might require a professional to help you sort through- but if you’re truly suffering, paralyzed, or flung into a depressive episode due to any life circumstance (including a movie sequel,) it’s not silly to seek help in order to move forward. 

Parasocial relationships are perceived relationships where the other party (usually a celebrity, in terms of celebrity worship) doesn’t know you. Fictional worlds can fall into this category as well. It’s a one-side relationship that feels unbalanced when the other party does something we don't like. This is a studied topic I’m not super knowledgable on, but here are some links to more information if you’re interested: Why We Get So Attached To Fictional Characters by Kimberly Truong 

Parasocial Relationships with Fictional Characters in Therapy by Kathleen Gannon

Parasocial Break-Up from Favorite Television Characters: The Role of Attachment Styles and Relationship Intensity by Jonathan Cohen

Our fictional friends: Parasocial interaction and relationships in an evolving media world by Carri Romm - - - Also: I love you guys. <3 I love being in the Frozen fandom. It’s all going to be okay.

[randomoranges]

i lost a friendly wager last night. we agreed to soft. then i was told historical period costumes and or baking. (because i historical period costumes are not in my drawing range.) i offered words and they were accepted. this idea sprouted.

a whole brand new au world for a friendly wager i lost.

liberties were taken.

i can chat your ear off with this dumb new au. 

@allbeendonebefore here are your winnings. 

O Come, All Ye Faithful [In Excelsis Deo]

 Edward takes out the last tray of gingerbread people from the oven and places the tray to cool. He removes his oven mitts and apron, before loading the last items into the dishwasher and then starts it. He is about to call out to his partner, to ask him where the decorating kit with the brushes are (because that’s his partner’s job – even if they always end up decorating together – because Edward likes to spend time with him,) when said partner lets out a string of curses. Amused, Edward peers into the eating area to find Étienne re-stringing the sewing machine for what must be the nineteenth time this past hour.

 Edward spares one of his gingerbread folk and plates it, before making his way to where Étienne is working, figuring he could use a break before he chucks the sewing machine and work-in-progress out their living room window.

 “Careful, dear,” He starts, putting the plate down, “The sewing machine hears you when you curse at it. I find that gentle encouragement works best.”

 Étienne grumbles something under his breath, which sounds a lot like “waste of time” and “it should know better,” before he sits up and leans away from the table. Edward takes the hint and cozies himself up on Étienne’s lap. He brushes back a long strand of curly brown hair away from Étienne’s face and tucks it behind his ear. Étienne sighs and leans into Edward’s chest, defeated.

 “Remind me again why this was a good idea,” He mumbles and Edward chuckles softly, rubbing his beau’s back.

 This is a historically accurate late nineteenth century dress, with all the intricate patterns, jewels, beads, and details that come with it (with some modern alterations, because Edward needs to be able to actually get out of the dress) that Étienne decided to make from scratch. He researched the design, stayed up late more nights than Edward is probably aware of, spent every waking moment on the garment, he even took out his grandmother’s old sewing machine for it, and all because Edward has a show at the end of the month and Edward deserves the absolute best, even if it kills him. Or so Étienne says and believes.

 Étienne is a stubborn, mule-headed idiot and Edward absolutely loves him.

 The fool.

 Edward still remembers the day they met. (Étienne always tells the story better.)

 It happened a really long time ago – it feels like it happened centuries ago, but back then, Edward’s main source of income comes from the drag shows he participates in. He enjoys the performative aspect of it, likes the fact that he can explore different facets of himself and likes how free it makes him feel. He has worked hard creating his persona, has worked hard on his performance, and even though he isn’t the Greatest Drag Queen to ever grace the planet, he is quite good, if he says so himself and he has a small following, which he thinks is endearing – when he lets himself admit to it.

 The story goes that on a dreary November evening, Étienne happened to be sitting in the small cabaret where Edward was performing that very same night. Étienne had gone there with his friends, since he did not usually frequent such places, and it actually turned out to be his very first experience assisting a drag performance.

 Then, the moment Edward (well, at the time Étienne didn’t know his name was Edward – all he knew was that this performer was Klondike Kate) stepped out on stage, in his beautiful flowing dress with the poofy sleeves, perfectly made up hair (was it real, was it a wig? It was hard to tell), outrageous, gorgeous hat, and elaborate makeup, Étienne’s heart stopped beating for a second. When the lights dimmed down low and the first few notes of Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” played, Étienne’s breath stilled. And then, when Edward started singing, in that perfect voice of his, swaying gently to the music, Étienne forgot to breathe all together.

 When Étienne tells the story, he adds that after Klondike Kate’s number, he rushed out of the cabaret to find the nearest anything that would sell flowers to buy a bouquet. There was a dep across the street and Étienne swears a car almost hit him as he ran to the store. Edward is never sure if that part is true or exaggerated, but he doesn’t interrupt and lets the story go. Étienne recounts how the only flowers the dépanneur had were a sad looking bouquet with three roses that had seen better days and a few other yellow flowers he couldn’t name, but how it had to do and so he got it, using the last twenty-dollar bill he had in his pocket.

 (There is a part to this story that no one knows – not even Étienne – and that’s that Edward still has those flowers. He pressed them between the pages of an old book and he lovingly preserved them, all these years later.)

 The story ends with Étienne somehow or other making his way backstage after the show and finding the door to Klondike Kate’s dressing room. He says he didn’t have to bribe anyone, that his charms and good looks granted him passage alone and that as long as anyone acts confident and as though they know what they’re doing, it’s fine. Edward always has more questions at that part, but it’s such a good tale that he keeps his mouth shut and listens. (He’s heard the story so many times by now, but it’s his favourite.)

 Quite frankly, Edward was actually quite startled when he opened his dressing room door to find such a strapping young man standing in front of it with a partial besotted look upon him, but what had really gotten him was that this stranger had been able to just – waltz in without getting caught.

 Edward had blinked, curious, and Étienne had fumbled something about having just attended the show and how great he thought Klondike Kate had been and what a voice he (she?) had and well – he wanted to congratulate him (her?) in person and – yeah this was kind of weird, and he was not usually such a mess, but he is impulsive and so please accept these flowers as a token of congratulations.

 Before Edward even had a chance to say anything, Étienne had bolted out (in Étienne’s words, walked out quickly and obviously, smoothly), leaving one very perplexed Edward behind, flowers in hand.

 Edward thought for sure that this was the end of his strange suitor? Fan? Admirer? Crazy stalker??, but he still put the flowers in a vase, still brought them home, and still carefully dried all of them out – for some reason. (He didn’t always get flowers and not even his last boyfriend had bothered, so, really, the gesture was nice.)

 He more or less forgot about the stranger and continued living his life, preparing for his shows, but Étienne became a returning customer. He went to every show, cheered the loudest (not that Edward could tell), but he made sure to sit at the far back, away from the lights and from where Klondike Kate could see him. The plan was to keep a safe distance and admire from afar, but sometimes, the universe has strange plans.

 And so, towards the end of January, after a show, Étienne walked up to the bus stop and he was quietly smoking a cigarette, replaying his favourite parts of the show in his mind, when Edward (whose car was in the shop and who couldn’t be bothered to hail a cab when he literally had a five minute commute from here and knew the bus would be here in four minutes max) showed up in his line of sight.

 “It’s you!” Edward said and Étienne’s eyes had widened as he tried to find something intelligent to say. “You’re the flower guy!” Edward added.

 “Étienne – actually, my name is Étienne,” He tried, offering a shy, timid smile and Edward was surprised, if endeared and he laughed over the ridiculousness of the whole affair.

 “And I’m Edward, actually, my name is Edward,” He added with a smile of his own, extending his hand.

 Étienne wraps up the story at that point, usually. He says they became friends after that, before he finally found the courage to ask Edward out after a show, one day and that the rest is history. It’s mostly true. Mostly, because there’s the part where they both missed their bus stop because they were too busy talking. Mostly, because they walked all the way back to Edward’s place (Étienne didn’t want to let him go alone). Mostly, because Edward really wanted to invite him back inside afterwards for anything – even if it was just talking. Mostly, because at the time Étienne was seeing someone (even though it was complicated and mostly on its way out, but it wouldn’t be right). Mostly, because by the time Étienne was single again, Edward was seeing someone. Mostly, because even though they became fast friends and spent whatever time they had together, Étienne asked him to dinner the night Edward’s boyfriend dumped him and for the longest time, Edward thought he was using Étienne as a rebound. (And if that’s the case, then Étienne is at least a twelve year old rebound.)

 They’ve grown, since then. They own the place they live in (somehow) and they do grownup things like pay bills, talk about their mortgage, and clean out the filters of the wall unit three times a year. Étienne has a real job now. He’s not a student anymore. (Not like when they met.) Edward also has a real job now, but he still does drag every so often. He likes it. He likes being Klondike Kate. He likes mentoring the new queens. (He calls them his little princesses. They love it. Étienne thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. Étienne still goes to every show. He brings Edward a bouquet after every show. It’s a much nicer bouquet than that first one. In fact, he’s only ever missed a grand total of six shows and he hates himself for it. Edward tells him every time to chill, he had valid reasons. Étienne doesn’t want to hear a word of it. It’s infuriatingly endearing. And annoying as hell.)

 He likes the friends he’s made, the community he’s found and the sense of belonging he gets from performing. Klondike Kate can say things Edward can’t blurt out whenever and wherever. Klondike Kate can wear nice dresses, heels, makeup, and pretty gloves. Klondike Kate gets attention he never wants as Edward. Klondike Kate let’s Étienne dote on her as much as he wants. (Edward does as well, but sometimes he wants to dote on Étienne and Étienne is a stubborn old goat he loves very much.) It’s a strange dichotomy and he loves it. He loves sitting in front of his vanity and applying his makeup. He loves watching his transformation from Edward to Klondike Kate. (He loves sitting at his vanity and having Étienne gently remove the makeup from his face, transforming him back, at the end of every show. It’s a ritual. He wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.)

 The cabaret he’s been performing at for the past ten years is putting on a special show for the holiday season – something authentic and historical and the owner politely asked Edward if he would like to perform. It’s a part special, part retrospective, part throw off for the end of the decade and part whatever the queens want it to be. Edward says yes almost immediately and he then thinks of what he can do – what he can wear. He has his usual dresses and costumes – his usual numbers. His favourites and easy go-tos. But then he thinks of the meaning behind Klondike Kate – what she means to him, why he picked her name, and he figures he can really put on a show.

 It’s when Étienne comes up with the crazy idea to make him a period accurate dress.

 Edward laughs at his idea – because he thinks Étienne is joking.

 Étienne already has his sketchbook out and is looking at images on his tablet, jotting things down, saving reference photos, looking at past photos of Edward’s costumes as well. Watching Étienne work is a dizzying affair. He’s in five places at the same time. Edward knows not to kill off such creative energy, so he tells him not to get in too deep and lets him be.

 It was a mistake, obviously.

 It’s a good thing Edward wasn’t there to see him work at the library.

 It’s how nine days before the show Étienne is still fighting with the sewing machine (because Edward is the one who’s good with the sewing machine – Étienne learnt it for fun a few years back – after he brought home his grandmother’s old sewing machine) and he’s cursing about beads and jewels (because Klondike Kate deserves the greatest, poofiest dress ever). It’s not that Edward does not try to make this easier for his beau – he tries, oh he tries to get Étienne to reconsider – they could take one of Edward’s old costumes and make alterations to it, but Étienne is and always has been stubborn.

 So Étienne has hand sewn the jewels and the beads, has measured once and twice (and thrice) has cursed and pricked his fingers, has sat down with the old sewing machine and with time, the dress has slowly taken shape. Slowly.

 “You said something about wanting to make me the greatest dress ever known, dear,” He reminds Étienne, who nods sagely and picks at the sleeve he has apparently been having trouble with.

 “Yes, that’s right and you’ll look absolutely stunning in it.” He says with all the sincerity of the world.

 Edward’s cheeks pink ever so and Étienne grins. He’s ridiculous and Edward loves him so.

 “Think you’ll be done before the actual show?” He teases to regain his footing. Étienne pushes up his glasses and studies his work – the dark mauve of the fabric, the sleeves, the bodice with the lace and the jewels and the beads. He’s pensive and serious, but Edward spots a hint of a smile and knows that Étienne is messing with him now.

 “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’ll be done by this summer, you see, there’s a handsome fellow sitting on my lap and I simply cannot do anymore work,” He adds, mock serious and Edward playfully hits his arm.

 “Need I remind you that you’ve been complaining about this all day. I came to see you in your time of need to bring you comfort and joy in the form of my company and a cookie, but if this is the thanks I get...” He tries to get off, but Étienne is quicker and wraps his arms around him tightly, trapping him in place.

 “And I am ever so grateful for such an offering. With it, I’ll be able to complete this dress from hell by the end of the evening – hopefully.”

 Edward pecks his nose in thanks but remains seated on Étienne’s lap for a moment longer. He likes it here – it’s nice and comfortable.

 “Think you can model this one for me, after?” Étienne asks, looking up at him.

 Edward nuzzles their noses together and smiles, “Of course – when have I not?”

 FIN